#the worldbuilding that always goes into that too is crazy
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whoever started the sakura lives in the Uzushio District headcanon i luv u forever and hope you receive your favorite food soon
#sakura haruno#naruto#naruto fics#hcs#moon posts#its like one of my fav hcs#the worldbuilding that always goes into that too is crazy#and this isn't everytime but when they pair it with part of her famly being from uzuzshio or just foreign in general its perfect#like u just added another layer to her character just like that woah#like her canon character is already trying to fit into societal standards and now she's a first gen immigrant#do you know how much u ate with that right there omg#and love to everyone who's been incorporating that into their fics as well like yall are so amazing
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sub!𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓷 💙𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚊𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝 (18+)
⇢ gentle femdom (n.) :: a variant of bdsm emphasizing affectionate play with a pliant sub rather than hard kinks, brat taming, sadism, or hierarchy.
pairing. pleaser!bangchan x femdom!reader
WARNINGS. ⚠️ rated m, soft sub chris, light restraints, studio and car sex, mommy kink, pegging, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, frottage, shy chan, vanilla positions, lack of aftercare bc chan sleeps fast 😅, self-esteem issues, food play mention, established relationship
★ wc. 3k
↳ [ // 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. ] a soft hc for for valentine’s 💌 following lee know’s version, more sub!skz worldbuilding! good boy chan agenda going strong here... truth be told, it’s always interesting to write leaders showing their true face. not sure if i’ll make this a complete series due to my standard high word counts; if there’s a member u absolutely want to read about take to the replies/asks, if multiple people chime in for someone i see what i can do! as for now, sub chan enthusiasts enjoy! 💛
read it on ao3 | 💋 masterlist 💋
a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Fast asleep within a mere five minutes. Like an ice statue frozen for a thousand years. If this guy puts the strain of having sex on top of his already endless to-do list, he’s gonna doze off in Guinness World record time some day. In his vocabulary, what even is aftercare? He’s like don’t worry mate, I’m fine, maybe a warm glass of water, now good nig—zzZ.
When you didn’t know each other so well yet, you planned to run him a nice bath and all, but reality hit with Chan entering the dream land after getting a spanking. So, in the end, aftercare is just handing him a pillow and toweling him down while he’s already in the twilight zone. See you tomorrow! Reducing the craziness of sex doesn’t really make him stay awake, nor do you want him to — any sleep is good sleep for Chan, anyway. If sex exhaustion is his justification for sleep rather than editing another whole damn album, why not. Play with you is his best excuse to nap.
b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Chan likes his arms and wow-factor shoulders generally, but it’s not limited to them. Some days, he’s way happier with something else (proud of leg day, let’s go). On other days, he doesn’t like anything and tries to ignore that. Every mirror an enemy. The next day, he feels better about something else entirely. Stray Kids going through so many bold outfits and intricate stylings has sort of confused him about how he naturally looks sometimes. Chan is not content with his bare face, but feels better after you pepper it with kisses.
When it comes to you, he’d never say a thing about a preference. You won't be able to tell where Chan’s mind goes the most, and it generally doesn’t hyperfocus on one body part anyway. Does he like legs best, hips, hands, back, your chest? No one knows. All he says is, „I really like your figure“ — and that’s all. Of course he thinks his domme is hot as fuck, in fact, he thinks she fucking slays. He’s just a gentleman about it.
You like his eyebrows and curly bangs a lot. In your eyes, he has a really handsome and memorable face to begin with (that eyeshadow game makes it even better, holy cow). Even classically handsome, even if he doesn’t really believe it. You saying „Damn you look good!“ when he puts on a tight outfit that accentuates his body shape, it really flatters him to the core. You like his sexy face chains and accessories, chokers galore, and virtually any type of harness fitted all across his torso or legs. Chan is a wet BDSM dream come true and he doesn’t even realize it, does he.
c= cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Actually not that into it. His own cum, I mean. Chan usually forgets to rub one out even when he feels a little twitch while working. Too focused. He ignores his libido often. Same idea extends to cumming inside you as far as vanilla is concerned. Chan knows it’s awkward to clean it all out. He’d rather wear protection and release on his own stomach, then quickly get rid of it if he’s not dozing already.
He blushes hearing you talk dirty about semen, but the real thing? Chris isn’t obsessed like some other people would be. It’s a necessary evil to him, and just another thing bodies do. His orgasms tend to underwhelm him or disappoint no matter what he does, he’s not as confident pushing himself to a maximum of pleasure by himself. He depends a lot on you to chase a high sometimes, which makes him feel deficient. You notice that he beats himself up and suggest some more gentle femdom forms of sex that focus more on sensuality and less adrenaline. Works way better for him. Besides modeling harnesses like a pro, Chan is actually a die-hard soft sub.
On the other hand… Duality. Selfless Chan is totally focused on having you completely soaked at his very creative fingertips. Cum play 5000. He’s a musician. And producer. And dancer. And singer. And rapper. Safe to say that fella has rhythm.
And: Don’t worry. He’s not the type to edge and finger you recklessly. Chan isn’t brutal, nor is he punishing. Always the exact opposite. Pleasing, pleasing, pleasing. His submissive tendencies show almost everywhere. The most daring thing he’d do is tease you with a bright smile, which probably makes you wanna bust a nut on the same spot, ain’t it so. You Chan hard stan, you. He constantly asks for feedback and wants your own hands to do it with him so he can learn: That good boy. How that tiny spot of yours can make your whole body feel so electric is quite astounding to him. Getting you off and making you laugh? His favorite downtime.
d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Other people probably assume his ultimate kink and darkest fantasy would be something like `Chan being selfish and cruel for once´. Just doing something because he craves it. Or something like topping you for fun, large and in charge, leader mode. Little did they know that Chan’s most secret wish is you finally meeting his parents for an evening of barbecue. Ain’t he typical.
e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
More than you think, less than you assume. He’s a lovely Libra. The golden middle of everything is true for him. He’s not dared to directly approach any crush he had, but yes, always prompting a shy and nervous response, he’s the one who’s been approached quite a couple times. By a handful of dominants who saw right through him, too, yes. A bit of flirting over some dinner did went down, but only a dozen dates turned into some tentative, makeshift sexual activity at their place. Obviously not the dorm, he’d never do that. He’s not Hwang Hyunjin getting pegged — next to Lee Know, gaming — by every girl in a ten-mile radius.
Chan also received an Inkigayo sandwich and had a genuinely lovely time. It went on for two months until it got a bit awkward. All in good spirits, though. Because seriously. Caring as he is, and always with the other person’s well-being in mind, how could Chan ruin a breakup. If there is a split, the transition period to a new chapter will be seamless, not heartbreaking. A few tears will fall, the chest is heavy, but he’s not gonna engage in a war of roses and lose face. He does have complaints, but he’s no mean guy. Even when he has a reason to accuse an ex, he will swallow it. The shit he’s bottled up. Chan will feel burdened, down for quite some days, but focus on moving on properly when it’s possible.
f = favorite position (this goes without saying)
Undecided. Doesn’t want your head too far away nor too close. He’s afraid of accidents, hurting your face somehow, he’s a little paranoid. A bit of movement distance is good for soft missionary, it can be bridged by kissing. Chan uses his arms to prop himself up, gyrating so fucking heavenly, and you can grab his ass. All the praise you’ll shower him with. You’ll often be having sex in a back hug, that’s a good one, too. Especially seated, with Chan leaning forward a little to meet your spine with his chest. All you see is legs legs legs twitching under you, damn good view.
Girl on top, however, occupies both of your minds all the time. That’s where you feel at home. Comfortable for both of you, Chan can be more passive, you active. Your bed or couch needs lots of pillows, though, it’s too empty and scary for him otherwise. The floor is off limits, not cozy enough, you agree. You’re a cozy couple. Chan draped over a hard surface on his back, naked, is a sexy as fuck image in your head, but the reality is not snuggly and warm enough.
g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Total goofball, you love the guy’s sexy time humor. His crinkly eyes ad triangle-shaped dimples (yes they’re literally like that) always alleviate the moment and bridge an awkward silence or pause. Chan has a soft spot for your outrageous jokes, too. Your every word has him almost hanging by a thread so to speak, he’s a very active listener. Dirty talk and conversation absolutely dominate your sex life, silent sexy time is a natural, mutually agreed upon no-go.
h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Clean pits, clean everything. He’s pretty economical with it. Adapts to your wishes, puts lots of effort in. If it’s gotta be a hairy situation, the rules are even stricter, even if he sometimes forgets to maintain it, which makes Chan feel terribly sorry. „Won’t happen again! Oh geez.“ Uneven hairs piss him off, he’s the legend of trimming everything in place.
i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Can’t stay serious and focused for two seconds. Says a cheesy thing as soon as you even blink.
j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Too busy with his beautiful fingers between your labia to think about himself. As always: Chan gives and gives and gives without ever taking. When you’re driving to the gym and he takes the passenger seat, prepare for masturbation galore — all while he doesn’t touch himself one bit. You reward him with a little improvised frottage with his upright dick crushed against your ass later on the backseat. Both of you in your underwear: Because it’s hotter. Chan comes pretty fast, his cock is so sensitive to being squeezed by you. Turn around while you grind on him because his surprised facial expressions are just glorious. His tight body in his sports clothing feels so damn good, you can do this all day long.
k = kink (one or more of their kinks)
Feeding each other delicious sweets and random food bits. He’s totally enamored with this. You can be silly together, carefree, he can be your cutest little one. Not entirely in an age play sense, more as a casual endearment.
l = location (favorite places to do the do)
So, besides the car and bed. His production studio chair is surprisingly not the way to go. Too narrow, moves around too much, spins at every damn movement. Studio couch is more like it. The amount of times you’ve made out on there, the members would so judge him for being thirsty. But you see the practical aspect. Increased support, decently elastic if not a little bouncy, and a comfortable surface that’s easy to clean for him. It’s not like Chan keeps typing and producing with you on his lap at the table. Come on, he focuses on you. When you sit next to him or on him casually to see what he’s working on, sure, he will go on as usual though. But it’s often him who wants to sit on your lap to get pampered, or between your legs non-sexually if he’s too heavy for you. At home, any spot will do, long as it has a pillow fort.
m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Affection and courtesy. Compared to some other members, say Felix, Chan doesn’t submit to try stuff out and to chase a kinky curiosity. The principle and chivalry counts for him instead. Being a domme pleaser and body worship advocate 5000 is what keeps Chan coming back for more. Stress relief is a side effect, pun intended.
n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Hard domming you. He has leader energy on stage, but privately, mercurial goofball he is, it just doesn’t suit him. Chan would never make you scream or sob, and he can’t use a whip on your ass either. That image is so strange to both of you. Although he matches the aesthetic of a hard dom when he’s dressed up like one, face chain wolf gang and all, actually doing all this stuff creeps him out. He recoils at the thought of smacking you roughly or doling out a harsh anal punishment. Raw and hateful sex is simply not his schtick. Again, he’s Hyunjin’s opposite on the submission scale: Mister Hwang is very open to being demolished in a crazy hate fuck by any dominant daring enough. That’s where smacking and violently punishing is very welcome. Chan, he prefers a forehead kiss to make him squeal.
Chan would be all shifty on his feed and be confused constantly if he had to dominate in a cold and relentless way. Being a soft dom is all he could muster, which would simply wind up him service subbing in a covert way — no one’s surprised. And the major obstacle is, Chan simply cannot switch off his charm. He just can’t. It’s in his tone of voice all the time. The only exception happens when he reprimands the members for not taking something seriously enough, but well — he doesn’t have to pull that voice on you. You know the stakes of this relationship and meet him with a logical mindset. You take topping him very seriously like a fucking pro, in fact. Chan got nothing on you, he thinks he’d look like an amateur.
If we’re going there at all: Chan can’t stand the whole kink of say, his girl age regressing to her toddler days, diapers and everything. He’d be like what… It’s too much for him, and his whole Stray Kids’ father role doesn’t have to be his entire identity. Chan appreciates a sexual slash romantic partner who is level-headed and talks to him on equal grounds. He doesn’t want someone tugging at his sleeve all the time talking in a baby voice, he prefers more mature flirting and interactions. He’s the one getting shy, his domme is the wise one. So: No infantilizing his girlfriend. They’re called Stray Kids and not Stray Adults, so he already fosters the whole group as a full-time job — back at home, he’s looking for an authority instead.
o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Oh shit, here they come. Those beautiful, pinkish, big and juicy lips. They’re wonderful and shapely, just right, so puckered. It’s the ace up his sleeve! You’ll grind the chapstick off of `em at every opportunity. He’ll quickly get fantastic at giving head, the eye contact is always a stunner. The lips are usually outclassing his tongue, though you should never underestimate someone who works a mic for a living.
His consistency… I swear. Completely deprioritizes receiving. He’s clumsy with eating you out in the first month of dating, hence why he wants to improve. Although it irks him that he’s not a natural talent, your comforting words will help him. „Not everyone can be born as Hwang Hyunjin.“ — „So true, bestie. Or Felix, too.“ He embraces his beginner mindset and hey, come on: That he tries so hard is worth ten sex toys, the effort and dedication counts. Like he can suck on a dildo in no time. Not ready for the strap yet, but that’s ok. His progress tends to be astounding, he remembers his mishaps and strengths very well. Nerdy Chan writes down what he should keep in mind, that’s a hell of a man right here.
p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Nothing subspace-inducing, we’re keeping it midrange speed here. Though, remember this guy is a literal sports student, athlete, multi talent. He can pull off anything you wish for, you just gotta ask. Nevertheless, he’s too sweet to go and say „let’s just fuck like rabbits, 3, 2, 1, go!“ — some other certain members are more fond of that. Lee Know, Hyunjin, Han, to name the holy trinity of dick destruction. They just wanna get wrecked. CBT and everything. Chan loves pleasure and passion more than ending up ruined, his workload does that for him.
q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Yep. Pretty boy likes those. Big fan. Any day. Treats the two of you with cooking afterwards.
r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Sexually? Not at all. Besides a little fun and games (read: flirting and pillow fights), he’s beyond mellow. Bangchan is the last person on earth to demand that you amp up your dominatrix game to do something questionable. As in, to experiment with even more extreme practices, electro play, knife play, sounding, that stuff. Or to put on specific, highly sexualized outfits. Again, that would contradict your coziness at home.
He’s not a fan of pushing his dominant to their limit, or having a stake in their appearance whatsoever. You’re not there for his appetite, because he’s the snack. As is good practice, he coordinates a sexual scene together with you, and can make cute wink-wink suggestions: But they’re literally harmless. Such as, „maybe… tie my hands with a ribbon or something?“, and it’s all in an open-ended question format just like that. It’s up to you to allow it or not.
In other words: Bangchan’s inner power bottom is what? Non-existent. Which differs wildly from some other members. Han would totally beg you to slap the shit out of him just so he can experience a shock of adrenaline. Bratty Felix would tease his domme with his ass until she tames him with pinches, clamps, and squeezing. Chan would never even consider asking to be fucking wrestled. It’s 100% you who suggests kinks that carry more danger, like heavy chains with collars, or using a Sybian on him, although that’s not risky from a pro’s perspective. He takes the backseat and will most definitely not provoke any trouble or unsafe etiquette willingly.
s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He took ballet classes. All you need to know. Strength and tension and discipline are words not unfamiliar to him. His dick won’t last long, but the rest of his body will: Unless he danced like crazy that day. Which means time for spoiling and caressing him, talking him through, tucking him into bed. No hard domination please.
t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Bondage rope, yes. Red lights was right, he’s a rope bunny. Other particular toys no… with some room for experimenting sometimes. But he’s not a crazy toy collector, one quality vibrating aid to get you off is worth a 100 random items that he’d buys just to buy them. So, no to that. He’s particular and looks for what really fits the two of you. Strap-on experiments are fine, he quite likes to take it on all fours until one of you cramps. You’re not powering through, but that one’s a long and prep-heavy session. Blowing his back out is probably a bad idea, going slow and steady with lots of reassurance works way better.
u = unfair (how much they like to tease)
Chan’s ‚explanation voice‘ and constant questions can drag out foreplay for half an hour. By any means: The Chansplaining needs to find it’s due end. You get down to business by just unzipping his damn pants. A call to inspect your sexy sub is the perfect shortcut, admittedly just to see his thick package. „Take your cock out, honey. Let me take a good look at it.“ — instantly flustered Chan is putty in your hands.
v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
„Yes, mommy!“ — that’s medium loud. Can be more silent, too, but never not super breathy. Drastic spikes in volume, not so much. It’s a constant moaning. Though, I might be understating this, the whole group has a very high benchmark for volume. 80% of Stray Kids are fucking screamers.
w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Chan talks about how much he loves having sex with you all while he’s fast sleep constantly. Babbling in his dreams is not uncommon, the members seem to be on his mind a lot unsurprisingly, but this one stands out to you.
x = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
What he’s got in his sweatpants is like a Monsta X song. I don’t know what else to liken it to. Thing is, he’s not working with a whopping 10 inches. Who the hell carries that. He’s in a comfortable but aesthetically pleasing upper midrange, and really not too awkwardly long at all. It absolutely wouldn’t suit him. Girth and full balls is where it’s at. Also: Big ass alert. Your designated smack target and stress ball. You’re not surprised that Lino acts the way he does given how um cheeky the members are. Chan’s has such a nice curve, fuck.
y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He’s not Felix going „Lemme suck your tiddies real quick“ at every opportunity. Chan is more like „Okay, can I…?“ And he always ends up surprised how easily he gets going. It’s nothing when compared to his awkward jack-off sessions at work. You know what he’s capable of with one glance. Chan is a sensualist. Someone so sporty knows how to get their blood pumping. And: He’s channeled a fuck ton of his sexual energy into dance and his ten thousand other physical talents. You know precisely how to train him to get the desired results.
z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
You can use a damn stopwatch. He’s gone, ciao, bye, hasta luego, see you soon. In your arms, looking as angelic as ever. At the end of the day, Chan’s rapid deep sleep is pretty cute. This sub is a little innocent cherub. He’s in good hands with you.
read it on ao3
related posts:
sub!idols m.list ♡
lee know alphabet version
sub!skz orgasm faces/bondage scenario
sub!hyunjin oneshot | sub!felix oneshot
💕 likes, rbs, comments v much appreciated, let’s talk 💕
© 2017-2023 sugar-petals. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed. all depictions are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.
#sub!skz#stray kids smut#sub!stray kids#skz smut#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#dom!reader#stray kids#skz imagines#skz headcanons#sub!skz x dom!reader#bang chan smut#sub!bang chan#bang chan#skz chan#smut alphabet#smut a-z#long post
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hiii. so. i'm a little trapped right now as far as writing goes - aka wholly unsure which of my two main projects to work on. and i've decided that after presenting my respective problems, i'm leaving my course of action up to all of you.
please read the propaganda before voting if possible!
EXPLANATIONS/PROPAGANDA.
terras town is about a girl, lev alvarez, who falls into a parallel world layered right under hers, and who needs to find a way back home before she brings her world crashing down alongside. however, lev's life back home is not going too well right now, and this goal rapidly starts to vanish as she deteriorates more and more into escapism in a world that carries no consequences for her.
pros of me working on this: this has been my main project since i was 15, i have it completely outlined and the characters are fully fleshed out and everything, i know how it all fits together and i'd kind of really love for it to be the first project i complete properly
cons of me working on this: structurally it's a bit fucked - it drags on in the same way for far too long, it has too much introspective activity and not enough external action, and the mc is totally severed from the wider plot surrounding her; thus risking a large part of the story not making sense until book 2 or (like i said) feeling repetitive as she simply does not engage with it. also it's a little cringe
good intentions is about the first academy in the saints-square built with the aim of anchoring cores (people who possess raw, explosive, very dangerous magic) to mages (an artificially created class of people who can siphon cores' magic into 'usable' forms), and more specifically about the experience of two girls (hess tiamaret & juve mizani) in the process. hess flat out refuses to become some rich girl's magical battery, and juve is very much keen on making her buckle and accept her 'help.' they're also both really fucking crazy and there's more to them but i'm still learning how to summarize their deal.
pros of me working on this: i think it runs a lot smoother than tt structurally, with a good balance of internal and external action; it's multiple person pov which is just v fun and also helps keep everyone involved in the wider plot, it has a more polished sense of character voice, juve is a low empathy love interest which ive always wanted to explore (i have a low empathy character in tt too but shes more of a minor character), if you like gideon the ninth vote this one
cons of me working on this: since it's a new wip i'm still not done plotting it, there's big worldbuilding gaps, and i have no idea how a lot of stuff ties together just yet (and potentially for a long while) so it'll take much longer to do. also everyone really does love tt, me included, so it feels a bit like a sell out.
some excerpts to help sway your mind either which way:
1. terras town
2. good intentions
#writeblr#original writing#writers on tumblr#wip introduction#notnow#its not really one Or the other in the long run bc i do want to do them both... just more of a 'where should i put my attention the most rn#im a libra & type 6 enneagram so i really need all hands on deck here#fanks ❗️🤌#terras town#good intentions
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I need to know your most unhinged headcanons about Pyrrhon. Idk if you already have a post like this, but I need to know.
YAY YAY YAY OK. OK EVERY THING I'VE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HTIS GUY LET'S GO. MILLION PAGE LONG POST UNDER THE CUT
OK so what is this thang in the first place right. I think he's an alien. HEAR ME OUT GUYS HEAR ME OUT. So space seems really weird and vaguely eldritch in the worldbuilding right, the Kraken and the Pirates' appearances being robotic along with the Aurum, who apparently just Happened one day. I think he also Happened one day and just crashed landed onto earth meteor style, either coming from the sun itself or being the Aurum's flawed attempt at mimicking a god that got too out of control and developed free will. I mean he has bright green eyes and looks nothing like the other gods. Even HADES wears CLOTHES man. Fitting with space being mostly outside the domain of the gods, this weird little mini sun man was able to claim the Sun God title because no one else was using it, which is why the gods themselves are torn on if he's one of them. He isn't immortal but he does age slower than normal, he's a fairly recent annoyance among all the divine discourse
Him and Arlon are brothers! Sorta. They met as kids without any apparent families and Pyrrhon theorizes that they're connected, which Arlon goes along with. So they kinda *become* brothers in a way with my headcanons? Ja. They start out being kinda frenemies who don't really get along and are just sticking with this theory to figure out their pasts but they end up truly having the brothers relationships and being at eachothers' backs. Everyone else is shocked to learn about this every single time since they're such opposites. Arlon lends stability and Pyrrhon lends freedom and encourages leniency towards the whole "loyalty" thing, which evidently means less to him. 😌
The other popular headcanon I like is that his flame aura is controlled by his emotions. He can make it flare up for dramatic effect or cool it down if he needs to, but it's typically involuntary. It's usually not harmful to people, though he can easily burn things if he isn't paying attention and he's always warm to the touch. If he's calm it simmers down. If he's really, truly upset or hopeless it goes out. If he's excited or angry it burns brighter. If it turns white hot and hurts to the touch, you should probably run. :)
He's trans. "How is he 7ft tall?" Divine HRT will do that to you. "Out of everyone in the cast who would be way more fitting-" I like him. "Wasn't there something in smash about the gods' physical forms-" I do what I want always all the time forever.
OKAY so it's tough sometimes with characters who are intended to be insane with no further context because on the one hand that can be kinda fucked but on the other hand OUHHHHH. crazy guy who loses control to the orb was such a weird adhd awakening for me but baby if it wasn't an awakening. SO putting aside that it's obviously exaggerated and he was probably just intended to be insane with no nuance, I headcanon him as autistic and adhd with probably an array of Other Shit going on that I'm not qualified to pin down without feeling like it may be insulting. my mental illness pilled folks give your takes below or don't if you're uncomfortable with attatching stuff to characters like this because that's very justified I just hyperfixate on and relate to the worst specimens possible o7 you would not believe how many ocs I have that are just "let's do this bitch again and deconstruct all the dehumanization these guys always get while we're at it" follow my main artblog with my ocs plug plug plug plug
I think he would hate Hades as the apex of the irresponsibility and evil of the gods. HOWEVER Pyrrhon x Hades is just inherently super funny to me so its tough I kinda need to reconsile them. MY HEADCANON is that they dated for a bit when Pyrrhon didn't have a vendetta against the gods yet and was going after cred then when Palutena and Medusa yuri-divorced Hades felt the urge to one-up Medusa in some way so he ended things with Pyrrhon by saying he's homophobic. This in turn put Pyrrhon on a brief stint of homophobia that he thankfully recovered from when he started to listen to Limp Bizkit (unironically in every way of course) and decided that Fred Durst is the most beautiful man on the planet. Or will be. Kid Icarus ancient Greece with Nintendo you know how it is.
I'm growling and pacing ominously with a shadow over my eyes all the time over his underdeveloped motivations BUT from what we're given of his respect for Pit and his vendetta against the gods along with the heroic act I feel like he's kinda with Dark Pit on the idea of the gods constantly throwing everything off balance BUT the critical difference that turns him into a villain is that he thinks that if a true hero like HIM were the most powerful god he could fix all of this! See see HIS indulgence in the violence and warring is justified he doesn't WANNA incinerate the angel but it's just for the greater good. Fool tried to end the cycle of violence by becoming part of it!!!!!!! Everyone point and laugh!!!!!!!!
He's smart but he's also a dumbass but he can actually be a genius under the right circumstances but he's so so stupid. Right. He would put together a computer on his own from nothing but Vibes then think YouTube is a platform exclusively for fnaf letsplays because its the first thing he clicked on and he doesn't know how to search. He can determine his location by looking at the stars he also got lost in the department store yesterday. He can tell you about the Aurum for two hours he doesn't remember what he ate for lunch yesterday so he answers with som shit like the essence of heroism in the sandwich of destiny. He's so me he's all of us in a way .
He has mild psychic powers and he is NOT good at them 💔 he taught himself short range telepathy hence why he only really talks to the others in person until he gets his power up. He also tried to learn how to give visions and prophecies recieved upon touching his gem but it kinda just traps you in his adhd mindzone where he tries to keep up the illusion with cardboard cutouts on sticks.
Okay post canon time! Horray!!!!! The shorter more hyperspecific headcanons are after this. Tw for trauma and parallels to abuse until this section is done we're in projecting lane now.
A lot of details of what happens to him post-Aurum vary depending on what I'm drawing/writing at the moment like if he gets out on his own or has to be rescued after the war with Hades resolves, but generally he's trapped with them for a while with wavering control over himself. He develops an intense phobia of space and the Aurum afterwards despite them once being his biggest interests (<- PROJECTING.) His sense of personhood is very disrupted - he wasn't just controlled, he was assimilated and became one in the same with them with only shards of him holding on and resisting. He goes between never wanting to encounter them again to being nothing but a vessel who *must* return to them again no matter what it does to him, and he doesn't remember how to be a person without them controlling him. He completely stops believing he's a god in any way. He often zones out with the instinct that something else will be at the wheel until someone snaps at him and he's like huh wuzzat. Then probably plays it off as being inconsiderate since what people expect of him is easier than the truth.
He has the belief that the Aurum are attempting to take him again, even if they end up destroyed they're too powerful to him now to end that easily. They're *all* and they're *everywhere*. Since a lot of ptsd symptoms can feel like losing control it compounds quickly.
He has a habit of covering his mouth when he's upset. The feeling of those words and that smile stick with him.
I also think he'd have pretty messed up misconceptions towards "redeeming himself". With his broken identity he clings onto the idea of being fearless and acting the same way he used to, otherwise they "won". He would do stuff like accompanying Pit on a space mission and acting like it's no sweat while intermittently sneaking off to hide the breakdown. Why should he be afraid? It was *his* fault after all, and if he can't stop himself from being hurt it's just going to be *his* problem.
He starts wearing clothes to hide the scars he recieved on his chest, back, and limbs. He wants to look like NOTHING has changed, as much as possible. He starts returning to his old Nothingcore fit the more he heals from the events, because he doesn't like the feeling of clothes in the first place. he wears fingerless gloves and leg warmers because he can't stand the alternatives to either.
He also has a cane that's supposed to look enough like a staff to pass as one. His legs have been Pixels for the past couple years ok. Either way he's insecure about it and mostly uses it private, once again passing off his troubles in the department as his typical cringefail self don't worry about it 😁 👍
There's some mechanical alterations inside of him and like. I don't know how to explain my vision here except imagine the junji ito stuff turning into spirals story but with math and geometry and such. You can plug a bluetooth chip into his back scar and he's a literal wifi hotspot now. The quadratic formula is hidden somewhere in his femur as a fun easter egg. A lot of the changes are good for an impromptu living weapon but not for that weapon having an easy time afterwards, but it takes a while for him to reach out for help there, not just because of all previously mentioned but because he *hates* the idea of something going in and making "edits" to him again.
There's some more literal lingering effects from the Aurum - he can understand Morse code and binary and is compelled to read it out and translate it whenever he sees it, and sometimes those are the forms of communication that remain when the others go down, along with general detached computer speak. He *really* doesn't like others seeing this -- I like the idea of Arlon or Palutena teaching him signing to use in moments like this.
He is so touch starved my god. He probably wasn't getting much affection pre-canon in the first place but after being in space for 3+ years in a place where anything organic for miles is destroyed on sight, his body not being his own, and then going on to hide it all? Someone lays a hand on his shoulder and he just *melts*. He already feels like the affectionate back-breaking bear hug type in my mind so it's just. Auougghhhhhhhhhh. Yeah.
NO ONE IS HANDING HIM THE AUX CORD. EVER. His top artist on Spotify is Smosh. He listens to Lil Dicky and Your Favorite Martian. When it's a date and he needs to put on the more acceptable by society stuff he puts on ABBA and the Niel Ciceriga mashup albums. The ladder is most of his exposure to the wider music world he was BAFFLED when he found out hendrix wasn't actually singing about furries. I also think it would be really fucking funny if his main playlist with 2010 YouTuber Core has like Kid A interspersed in there. Thom York and the party rock guys are on the exact same artistic pedestal to him (you can decide if he's a real one for that)
Okay back to the less intense headcanons. All the main ones were at the top these are just little ideas or like stupid stuff.
He would NOT BE A MYSOGINIST. NO ONE GETS MY GUY. He's the most cringefail feminist on earth he was at the women's march tripping over the asphalt and face planting 30 times and when it was over they had to pick him up with a dustpan. HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM !!!
He figured all the fnaf lore out on his own but none of the gods gave a shit so he used the peak of his power to bestow maddening visions upon Markiplier's 20th removed great Greek ancestor. Hades did the same thing to MatPat's 20th removed great Greek ancestor just to muddy the waters and spite his ex
His favorite animals are snakes, cats, and dragons. When the others find out about him Going Through It post canon, Viridi begrudgingly makes immortal replicas of a snake and cat as gifts to him for emotional support
He would use his divine resilience to go out and hug poisonous creatures and beasts because he can
He would get so upset by like made up cartoon insults like in worlds where everyone's a dragon and they call eachother a pink-tailed coward and that kind of stuff right. If he got teleported into the geronimo stilton book universe and another mouse called him a chedderface he would have to be HOSPITALIZED.
He doesn't curse a lot and only does it under very specific circumstances that tick him off like if you called spongebob annoying he would curse you out
Talks to himself alone in rooms constantly. Has ytp verbal stims.
Has a thumbtack and string board not for like anything in specific its kinda just his replacement for a journal but for a guy who tries to find the connection between the weird waiter he met at girls' night to the Aliens
I have a genre of guys I call Stray Dog Youth who are just people I think would evoke a heroic pity response from him and the urge to take them under his wing and raise them into defenders of justice. Pit. Chicken Little. Fluttershy. Shadow the Hedgehog. Timmy Turner. Gohan. Malcom in the middle maybe I never watched it. But do you see my vision here. He respects this genre of person more than any god ever
STIM LORE 🔥 fist bumps, flying around in circles, saying him catchphrases and doing him poses, playing with fire in his hands and swirling it around. He's a hup and huh and woop and oops and wup kind of guy. Sometimes he yells CHOCOLATE STARFISH!!! to himself in fred durst impression.
He polishes his forehead gem a lot to be as striking and shiny as possible
His hair starts to turn ashy at the tips and hang down when it grows longer
He respects human life more than the average god. Protecting the earth is his ultimate goal but he'll justify many questionable sacrifices to achieve that
Panromantic Asexual 💪 he does not care about flirting or sex there are horrors to quell citizen. I mean even if he wanted to he couldn't so.
Oh yeah he uses citizens generally when talking about humanity and such, but citizen turns into a nickname for Pit in particular as a sign of respect.
He gives Pit exposure therapy training after returning to earth and learning about his pyrophobia. He also has talks with Palutena, one of the first gods he develops some respect towards and one of the first people to accept him back in, since they relate to eachother over the Chaos Kin incident.
He doesn't have a real temple and he's mostly a drifter, but he did set up shop at an abandoned human temple in the middle of nowhere. WORST crib imaginable. courage the cowardly dog style PC setup. Light up gaming in progress sign. Q-bert funko pop displayed like a treasured collectable.
He would be OBSESSED with old low budget sci-fi movies and similar genres of b-movies. He thinks The Amazing Bulk is the best movie ever made ever
He would be really good at games where the rules are just entirely decided by vibes and such he can understand them thoroughly. That one video of the guys using toy phones and xylophones like a card game with gamer rage mannerisms. Calvinball. Etc.
He can go a while without sleep. When he needs to he lays back in the sky and sleeps among the stars. This has led to many flock of owls attacks followed by meteor crash landing into a god's back lawn.
THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW but yeah those are the big ones 💞 thank you for opening the gates for me to be insanecrazy about my specialist guy on the planet 😁
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Hey y'all! Loved the new episode, and wanted to chip in on one of the later points - videogames, especially in relation to the "Grey" Jedi concept. Knights of the Old Republic II really did some irreversible damage in that regard, as much as I love the game (though I prefer the first one). Kreia is one of the most central characters in regard to shifting morality debates in Star Wars (in universe and from fans alike) imo, and I'd honestly be super interested in hearing you three cover either or both of the games in the podcast, although I understand that's highly unlikely since none of you have played them. But she is extremely relevant to this topic because she preaches about neutrality and that there's more than just ~dogmatic thinkings of light and dark~, and your relationship with her suffers if you are kind and altruistic and get too rooted in the light side and she's like...one of *the* characters that kind of gets credited with developing a "grey" philosophy in-universe? But people always bring her up as if she's this great point of sensible consideration and not actually, as it turns out, a master manipulator trying to purge the Force from the galaxy (or something like that at least? It's been a while since my last playthrough lol) that lies to you all the time to get you to do what she wants (because she was so crazy bananas both the Jedi and the Sith said "no thank u :)" - well, with a bit more nuance but you get the gist). Really, it's a bit like people falling for Palpatine's anti-Jedi points all over how they talk about her philosophic arguments without bringing that up. But yeah, I thought you might be interested in that. Also, I think KotOR might be what people meant with being able to unlock Dark Side powers as a Light sider but you are absolutely correct that it's a mechanics vs story issue (especially since some powers are indeed alignment-locked AND making dark side choices does impact the character (apart from story, ending and relationships to your party members). It's a bit of a simplistic gimmick, of course, but the further you get into the Dark Side on the alignment, the more it's visible - sickly skin colour, cracks in the skin and flesh, your eyes change...stuff like that. I don't think using Dark Side powers actually pushes you further down the alignment, but the intent is obviously not for Light Siders to mix and match however they like).
Anyway, I'm so sorry for rambling on for so long, but I thought you (or someone, at least :D ) might appreciate that additional info. Keep up the good podcasting! :)
OUR FIRST ASK! I'm so glad you're enjoying the podcast, thank-you so much for listening to us ramble on for an hour once a month!
This is all really interesting! I've read a few metas about the Star Wars video games and the characters within them which is partly why I chose to briefly include them in the episode (and also because I am familiar with Jedi: Survivor which has its own "dark side" mechanic for the main character that was relevant to the discussion). Aside from Jedi: Survivor, I wasn't necessarily referencing any one specific video game, I assume it's probably a thing that's come up more than once.
As far as my reaction to Kreia goes, just based on your description of her, the idea of there being "too much light" just isn't how Lucas's own worldbuilding worked. It's clearly trying to hit on the idea of "balance" being equal amounts of light and dark usage, as opposed to balance being acknowledging darkness EXISTS (in yourself and in the universe) in order to keep yourself from acting on it. There just isn't a way to be "too light" or something like that, there's never "too much" kindness and compassion and selflessness in the world. In this sense, the video games are just going to fall into the same category as the rest of legends and EU stuff, in that they often just do their own thing based on their own interpretations of Star Wars, but it doesn't mean it actually fits with what Lucas himself was trying to get across about the philosophy of the Force and the Jedi in his own stories, and that's primarily what we're using as a base to discuss Star Wars from.
If any of us ends up playing KOTOR, we can certainly try to bring it up more often. I don't think we have any plans of doing more video game stuff currently, but if the KOTOR remake ever comes to pass, maybe I will!
-Mod Sugar
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𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter II.
gif credit / @azertyrobaz
PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character
SUMMARY: Javier is slowly beginning to realize that monotony isn't as bad as he initially thought…
WORD COUNT: 9.4k
RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.
CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: Mutual pining, mentions of masturbation, they really wanna fuck each other, that good slowburn angst, lots of smoking, southern gothic vibes are strong with this one, if you love worldbuilding then this is the fic for you, mentions of a religion, mentions of sex workers, dbf!Javier Peña because I have no self control.
DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Lexi, my beloved, who has been a BIG help in helping me figure out this crazy ass story. Love you bestie, I don't know where I'd be without you < 3 I am… so obsessed with these two and the little universe they live in… *muffled screaming* I hope everyone reading so far is having a good time because I know I am! I've got a lot in store for this pairing, and if you're a fan of the horror/thriller aspect of this plot there's a lot comin' your way ;) Anyways feel free to drop any type of feedback on this blog < 3
♰ read on ao3. ♰
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It’s an extraordinarily warm day, which isn’t uncommon for the area however it’s the type of warm that reminds her that summer is just around the corner.
It’s Paloma’s favorite season. While the Seminary heat was unforgiving as all hell; she loves the way the sun feels against her skin, the thin layer of sweat that clings to her gives her the perfect glow and nothing beats cooling down by the creek. The town is also much more lively during the season, too, since tourists heading west often take a rest stop in Seminary.
It’s how she gathers most of her summer weekend crowd. People who do not expect this drive through town to be as charming as it is. While small, it has a community actively keeping it thriving. The businesses that line the streets of their downtown all owned by families who have been here for decades. A lot of love has been poured into their settlement, and while most of the time Paloma feels suffocated by the repetitiveness of her days, she’ll always have a soft spot in her heart for her hometown.
She’s become the performer that she is by staying here. Her shows at The Whiskey Fox have been the perfect training grounds for her to get a comfortable grasp on her stage presence, which aside from singing, is the most important thing about being a musician. An aspiration that she keeps to herself, mostly, just telling those who ask that she’s doing this ‘singing thing’ as a hobby. That her ‘real job’ would be going full time at the library.
That is her plan, the future she damns herself with. As quick-witted and rambunctious as Paloma can be; she’s still not valiant enough to take control of her own life.
Instead, she’s at the beck and call of her father’s.
It is much easier this way, she justifies it to herself like that all the time. If she goes out into the world, pursues her want to be a musician; there’s a chance that she fails and has to return home with her tail tucked between her legs like a shameful dog. At least staying here in Seminary provides her with a stability to keep her content for the rest of her life.
But would she really be content? Would she regret not trying and potentially not even failing?
Paloma bikes the familiar path from her house down into town, woven bag with her belongings in the basket that’s zip tied to the front of the bicycle she’s had since she was in high school. There’s a small grocery list and an even smaller to-do list accompanying her things; a brown paper bag with her father’s lunch also tossed in there.
When Darla, her 1970 Buick Electra , officially died on her; she hated having to bike everywhere. Her father was able to take her places whenever he could, but most of the time it was just Paloma and her bike against the world.
The sheriff even made the suggestion of sending one of the deputies to escort her wherever she pleased, but Paloma despised the idea of having an officer always following her around. So after a few awkward car rides to and from town; she decided it’d be more convenient for her to bike it until further notice. The only time she requests an escort is after a closing shift at the library or a show at the bar.
The most peaceful part of the trek is riding over the abandoned railroad tracks near the old train station. Something about the scenery; being surrounded by the lush forest with nothing but her and her thoughts for miles and miles is very comforting to Paloma, so whenever she arrives at this little landmark of hers, she makes a point to stop and soak it all in.
On days like this, where she doesn’t have much to do; she stays for a while.
Paloma approaches the familiar tracks, stopping entirely and propping her bicycle against a nearby tree. She pops a Linda Ronstadt CD into her portable player, the headphones slipping over her ears as she approaches the tracks. The sound of the gravel crunching beneath her boots is muffled out by the soft country tunes that begin to play. Paloma sits right on the track, a little unorthodox but she doesn’t care. Using her bag as a makeshift pillow, she lays flat and looks up at the sky until her eyes shut close; sighing wistfully as she slips away into another world entirely.
She has been struggling to finish any of her music lately, inspiration lackluster to the point where she’s had to revert to covering songs instead of performing original material at The Whiskey Fox . It is frustrating, to say the least, especially when she knows she is more than capable of writing a good song.
There just hasn’t been much happening that warrants a spark in her passion. No romantic love to pour her heart over, no life-altering event to process with instruments and lyrics. Nothing exciting.
She was in a rut…
That was until a few days ago.
Mind seemingly wanders over to the handsome man that had been in her family home.
Those dark brown, intense eyes that had her flustered any time they made eye contact, the strong cut of his jaw and how it flexed when he spoke, lips that looked so inviting underneath the mustache that she hates she’s so attracted to.
This is the first time any man has left such an impression on Paloma. She giggles softly to herself, remembering how she was harping on her own father for bringing out the fancy scotch in order to impress Javier.
“ Man must’ve left quite an impression for ya to be bustin’ out the crown jewel. ”
Now she understands why. Aside from being quite the eye candy–– she found herself completely engaged in any conversation he partook in. While he was not a man of many words, the few that he did have had her feeling like a freshman schoolgirl crushing on a senior athlete.
She is particularly interested in the fact that he had lived in Colombia for a better part of however many years; curiosity bubbling anytime he mentioned anything about his time there. She is envious that he has been able to experience a country filled with such culture and ecological beauty, even though she understands that the nature of his job probably didn’t entail to him sightseeing much.
That’s another thing; he was very vague about what his role was down there. All Paloma knows is that he was a DEA agent, responsible for cornering one of the most notorious drug traffickers to exist in the modern world. One thing led to another and now he’s back in the United States as a Deputy Sheriff for a small town in the middle of fuck-knows-where Texas.
It intrigued her to know his backstory and how that led him here. What all he’d done and witnessed, even if it wasn’t any of her business.
She finds it fascinating and it adds a layer of mystique to his persona.
Then her thoughts begin to turn into something more… sinful as she imagines the way his mouth wrapped around the colored end of the cigarette, his fingers flexing around the drinking glass before downing its contents in one swift movement, tongue peering out to lick at his lips. Fuck , her eyes flutter open and she squints slightly as the sun beams down on her. Her skin is warm, just how she likes it, buzzing with excitement at the image of the older man nuzzled in between her thighs, teasing her until she was at his mercy.
She takes her bottom lip between her teeth, fingers slowly trailing down her torso then drumming along the exposed skin of her lower stomach. The thought of moving her digits beneath the fabric of her panties crosses her mind for a split second before she remembers where she is. Not that she would be interrupted at this time of day but she has to have some shame, right? It’s already bad enough that she’s fantasizing about him, no need to fuel that fire by touching herself in plain daylight.
Paloma sits up, removing the headphones from over her ears and twisting her body to reach into her bag as she pulls out her notebook and pencil, a sudden stroke of inspiration striking her.
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Javier lazily leans back against the leather chair he’s sat in, typical cigarette dangling from his lips as he scans the report in front of him, brows pulled in to a frown as he half ass reads it. He’s only been in Seminary for a week and it hadn’t taken him long to fall into routine.
He gets up early to exercise, finding the time in his day to be able to do that again, eats what he considers a ‘healthy’ breakfast (it’s just toast and eggs… maybe some fruit if he’s really feeling it) then heads to the sheriff’s department. The day drags by until he’s at home again. He spends the evenings glued to his couch, takeout remnants on the table, nursing a beer and watching reruns until he goes to bed.
That is the part he dreads the most. The night time. Javi has always had trouble sleeping, but his time in Colombia only made the insomnia worse. He’ll stare at the ceiling, replaying all his fuck ups over and over until day breaks and soft sunlight seeps into his room.
On the nights where he does manage to fall asleep, it’s restless and doesn’t last very long as he jerks awake from whichever nightmare decides to plague him that night. He has a few that revisit him often, involving Helena and how things ended with her. Others about Carillo and his untimely death.
It is quite a vicious cycle that he has not been able to break himself free from. It was much more easier to get ahold of it back in Colombia where he could go pay for a distraction at a brothel or bury himself in the demanding job.
Here, there isn’t a damn thing he can bury himself in.
Well, there’s one person he’d love to find a distraction in but fucking the sheriff’s daughter just to get some sleep is not the best move for him to make considering he’s trying to be a better person nowadays.
There is barely anything happening at the station. The few deputies employed are constantly out on patrol, which Javi had recently revamped by giving new routes for them to follow. A task he’d conjured out of pure boredom yet left Sheriff Leighton impressed by his proactiveness.
Furthermore, the department is left partially empty with just himself, Romeo and Lorraine holding down the fort.
With no further updates in the ongoing homicide cases; there isn’t much to do. He isn't in the mood to go make small talk with the locals, and he’s already driven and familiarized himself with most of the roads within town limits, so he’s stuck in this building for the time being.
The sheriff had reiterated many times not to expect the same hustling and bustling he experienced back in Bogotá or Medellín. A fact that he knew when coming in, but experiencing it is just so damn grueling.
Instead of going home and bullshitting there, Javier decides to be responsible and help Lorraine reorganize their filing system. It is outdated to all hell and messier than anything he and Murphy could have ever conjured up at the embassy, but in attempts to be a more… responsible person, he tells the front desk clerk to not worry about a thing and that he’d handle it all himself.
He might have gone in over his head, but they’re just files. The tedious task something he is very familiar with. Javi had done his fair share of mindless tasks during his DEA days.
He’s at his desk, an unused one he plucked from the center of the room and moved over into a corner that gave him just a pinch of privacy. Romeo apologized about the lack of space for a private office, but Javi didn’t mind it. Being in an office is stifling; and he enjoys, for the most part, being out in the open.
Also, Lorraine is great company. Very unfortunate that she shares the name with his ex-fiancée.
Javier sets the sheet of paper he’s reread a dozen times down, ashing his cigarette and scratching at his nose with his thumb when he hears the sound of their front door opening.
His eyes lazily trail over to the entrance and an immediate smirk tugs at his lips, crease between his brows disappearing.
Paloma Leighton.
Oh, how he’s been thinking about her since that night he had dinner over at their house. How wrong it is of him to be pining after a woman like her.
It is not that difficult to capture Javier’s attention, he is very self aware in that regard. As long as you were interested; you were pretty much on his radar.
Javier loves women. He loves the way they look, the way they smell. Their soft moans and pants in response to his coaxing, how their nails feel digging into the soft skin of his shoulders as they come down from an intense orgasm.
Can anyone blame him for being so attracted to them all the time? Women are a godsend.
He watches her carefully as she saunters over to his desk that’s on the opposite side to where her father’s office is.
“ Now, Miss Leighton–– to what do I owe this pleasure, hermosa ? ” He asks, taking another drag of his cigarette as he keeps his position leaned back in his chair.
With an air of curiosity, he casts a lingering gaze over her form, his lips moistening involuntarily as he drinks in her presence.
She’s wearing cutoff jean shorts that hug her in all the right places and a halter top with an exposed back. She isn’t wearing a bra so her stiff nipples are prominent against the fabric. The sight gets him stirring below his belt, and he has to keep smoking in order to keep his antsy hands off of her.
“ Take a picture, it’ll last longer. ” She throws the typical line at him with a smirk.
“ I forgot my camera at home. Mind comin’ back to mine, cariño ? I’ll make sure to take the prettiest pictures. ” He ashes the cigarette, flirtatious as ever despite telling himself he was not going to go down this route.
But there’s nothing wrong with a little flirting, right? Especially not when she’s playing into it.
“ Clever, charming and cocky. I’m starting to sense a pattern here, cowboy. ”
“ And what would that pattern be? ”
“ I’m still figuring that out, unfortunately. ” There’s a brief pause, “ Those things’ll kill you. ” Paloma changes the subject entirely, nodding her head towards his nicotine stick.
“ I’m going to die eventually. ” Javier rebuttals and she just hums, honey colored eyes watching as he takes another long drag.
Javi is thankful that Lorraine had left early today. He's certain that this little conversation of there’s would have played out differently had there been a third person in the room.
Maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all and he would have been stuck fantasizing about her like a perverted fool.
“ S’that why you’re here? To criticize me smoking? ” His toned biceps flex as he brings his hands behind his neck, fingers interlocking and cigarette hanging from in between his lips.
“ No, just stopped by to drop off daddy’s lunch before I ran some errands. That man wouldn’t eat if it weren’t for me. ” Now it’s her turn to do the ogling, her gaze traveling from the cigarette to his arms, eyes sparkling down at him.
“ Sheriff isn’t in right now. ” He informs her but something tells him she already knew this. Her brows raise at the news and she shrugs.
“ ‘Course he ain’t. Probably already went down to Carl’s for lunch. I keep tellin’ him his arteries are gonna get all clogged up if all he eats is greasy burgers and beer. ” Javier can sense a hint of irritation in her voice.
“ So just let him. He’s a grown man, M’sure he doesn’t need nor want his daughter looking out for him every second of the day. ” He interjects, watching her carefully as she rolls her eyes.
Her hair is in two neat braids, bangs framing her beautiful face leaving the entirety of her back exposed to him. A few droplets of sweat slowly roll down her spine due to the weather and he imagines himself licking them right up; preferably while he has her bent over his desk.
“ Well if I don’t do it then who will? He’d barely last a week on his own. ” Though she is irritated, Javier catches how she genuinely seems to care for her father so with that, he decides to not meddle in their family business and instead moves on swiftly.
“ You know him better than I do. ” Leaves it at that, finishing his cigarette, “ Heard you got a show comin’ up ” And when he says "heard," what he really means is listening to everyone else rave about the sheriff's daughter's incredible talent and how he simply must attend one of her performances.
That sparkle in her eye glistens brighter at the mention of her show and she nods, “ Yup, ” pops the ‘p’, fiddling with the pens he’s stuffed into his faded DEA mug, her body turned slightly to face him. “ Every Friday and Saturday. Will we be blessed by your presence, Mr. Peña or are you going to hide out in your trailer home all weekend? ” Hearing his surname coming from her has his jaw ticking ever so slightly and he watches her eyes take notice of it.
Paloma likes it.
“ Dunno… gotta check my schedule, querida . Things tend to get crazy ‘round here. Or so I’ve heard. ” Sarcastic banter continues paired with a smug smile.
“ Well… if you do decide to find some time in that busy schedule of yours; the show starts at six both nights. ” And who was he to deny her? Especially as she bats her eyelashes at him, an unspoken way of letting him know she wants to see him there.
The front door bell dings, announcing the arrival of someone new, interrupting the comfortable pause of silence they were sharing.
That someone new is the sheriff, and Paloma immediately rises from her spot on the edge of his desk, making her way to her father. Javier straightens up, picking up the previously discarded sheet and feigning interest in it; but Romeo doesn’t seem to notice a thing. He looks deep in thought.
“ There ya are. I brought you lunch. ” Paloma calls after him but he’s already in his office. She lets out a sigh, looking over her shoulder at Javier whom she catches getting an even better view of her backside.
“ See you around, Mr. Peña . Maybe you should start carrying around that camera of yours. Y’know… to get all them pretty pictures. ” She makes a point to sway her hips as she walks away and he runs his tongue over his front teeth slowly.
This girl is going to get him into trouble.
At least he won’t be so fucking bored anymore.
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Paloma leaves the building twenty minutes after getting her father to agree to eat the lunch she brought and not go down the street to the local diner. He seemed pretty distant so she didn’t press him like she usually would, instead giving him a peck on the cheek before leaving his office. Her gaze wandered over to the opposite corner, hoping to find Javier sitting in his seat already watching her but he was nowhere to be found.
She felt the slight pang of disappointment in her gut at his absence but she pushed it down, a budding smile at the thought of seeing him at her show.
She doesn't even care that the man is older than her, she’s down bad for him.
Paloma swings her leg over her bicycle, kicking the kickstand inwards and riding down the street towards the farmer’s market until she’s stopped by a familiar voice calling her name.
“ Paloma! ” It’s Sloane, who’s jogging to catch up with her.
Sloane McCarthy is the only best friend that Paloma has ever had. Like, ever .
Growing up, she was a very shy child and only had your typical schoolyard friends, but not any that she would willingly swap secrets with or any of that other stuff girls usually do within their social circles.
After her mother’s death, Paloma became more of a recluse. She didn't maintain a friendship outside of school, instead all her focus and energy was put into her artistry. To her, instruments were her best friends. They would always be there to listen, to help her navigate through her grief alongside coming into her own without a mother to guide her through the trials and tribulations of girlhood.
As lonely as it sounds, it was probably for the best that Paloma chose her musical hobbies to be what got her through the hard times. It allowed her to navigate the creation process at her own pace, figure out her strengths and work on her weaknesses.
She is grateful, however, for the guidance she received from Tammy, Kristy and Lola: the sisters that owned The Whiskey Fox .
They helped fill the void left barren by her mother, Abilene, and were the ones who convinced her to start performing at their bar when she was only fourteen.
Paloma met Sloane a few months ago at the library. She had come in with two other guys whom she can barely remember now, asking her about Seminary’s selection on books about the occult. There are hardly any , she had replied, since this town is too obstinate to allow many sacrilegious books on their library shelves.
Ever since that afternoon, they had hit it off and began to hang out together more regularly. Paloma had even hooked her new friend up with a job at The Whiskey Fox as a bartender.
She stops, steadying herself as the girl hugs her from the side then rounds the bike to stand in front of her.
“ Hey Slo, whatcha up to today? ” Paloma asks, eyeing the book in her friend’s possession before meeting her gaze.
Sloane possesses a striking beauty that captivates all who behold her. Waves of rich brown hair cascade down to her collarbone, framing her face like a halo. Her button nose, perfectly proportioned, adds a charming innocence to her features, while her inviting chocolate-colored eyes shimmer with warmth and depth.
But it's the freckles that truly distinguish Sloane's visage, far more pronounced than Paloma's. They form constellations upon her round face, like tiny stars scattered across a canvas of porcelain skin. And above them, her signature touch: baby blue eyeshadow delicately applied across both eyelids, enhancing the allure of her gaze with a hint of playful elegance.
Paloma found herself being envious of Slo and comparing her beauty to that of her best friend’s; especially when she was the main one being approached whenever they went out.
Not that Paloma cared about male attention, however, she still felt that pang of rejection deep in her belly each time Slo was being hit on while she was left making small talk with the bartender or waitress, depending on where they were.
It wasn’t because she wasn’t attractive, anyone could tell you that Paloma is one of the most beautiful women in town; but more so because of who her father is. Sometimes, men don’t approach her in fear of being shot at by the sheriff. It can be very frustrating, but it does help keep the creeps away.
“ Well… ” She drags out, “ I went to the library to look for ya, but Olsen said you didn’t work today so I’ve just kinda been roamin’ town… hopin’ to run into ya before poppin’ up to your place unannounced. What are you so smiley for? ” Her bubbly and chirpy southern accent reminds Paloma of the bright smile she’s still sporting.
“ Just havin’ a good day, s’all. Why are you lookin’ for me? ” She questions, deciding not to tell Sloane about her infatuation with newly appointed Deputy Sheriff Javier Peña just yet, gaze once more flickering down to the thick book in her grasp.
“ ‘Cause, babygirl, I got the answers to all those existential questions you think up in that pretty little head of yours. ” Shows off the printed work, “ Right here. Got a sec? ” She asks but with the look Sloane gives her, Paloma knows she can’t say no.
So they situate themselves on a nearby bench, Paloma’s bicycle propped up against the backside of it. Sloane turns to her, their knees knocking against each other as she begins to explain.
“ Ya know my friend August? He wrote that poem I showed you a few weeks ago… the one that had your face as red as a ripe tomato. ” She pokes fun at her friend, pinching her thigh which Paloma swats away playfully.
“ It was more explicit than anticipated, but yes I know who you’re talkin’ about. Didn’t he come in with you that one day? In the library? ” She just barely remembers him, since he hadn’t said much; just browsed the shelves with the other guy as Slo did all the talking.
“ Sure did! Well, he’s written a few books, none of them published…. they’re more so for record keepin’. However, I told him you were… a fan of his work–– ”
“ Fan is a bit of a stretch, don’t ya think? ” She snorts, stare flickering over to Slo.
“–– So he asked me to share this with you. It’s his prized possession. ” She continues, eyes twinkling as she slides the book over to Paloma.
Paragons of the Sacrificed
By Augustus Rutherford Dixon
“ Augustus ? What a name. ” Is the first thing Paloma notices, thumbing through the book and scanning some of its contents. “ This reads like a manifesto, I’m not sure I’m all that interested. ” She tells Slo, closing the item shut and attempting to give it back.
Sloane blocks her from doing so, shaking her head. “ No ma’am, you’re gonna read through it. I promise you’ll enjoy it. I know how you like to get lost in your books and music… this is right up your alley. ”
She seems almost desperate as she makes her case, so Paloma reluctantly keeps the book in her lap.
“ Right up my alley. What exactly does that mean? ”
“ You know… the adventurous fantasy stuff. He’s really into religion and history but not in a weird, bible thumpin’ way how the people ‘round here tend to be. Eye openin’ stuff… real, tangible things that make you want to pack up all your shit and get the hell outta dodge. ”
Slo doesn’t have to say much after that, it’s as if she knew exactly what words to say to get Paloma to be more open minded about reading the book. She chews on the inside of her cheek, eyes falling to her lap and she sighs, giving in.
“ Sure, why the hell not. If it’s crappy, though, and you waste my time I swear I’m gonna get it back in blood. ” She teases, nudging Sloane with her elbow.
“ Oh please, I wouldn’t be bringin’ this to ya if I didn’t think you’d be interested. ”
–––––––––––––––––––
Sloane was right. This book is right up her alley.
After getting over the initial weariness of the man’s introduction, she is fully immersed in the historical events he writes about as well as the practices of an unorthodox religion that’s been on the rise, according to him, since the birth of Christianity.
Her relationship with religion in general is pretty unadorned. Paloma is a practicing Catholic, just like the majority in Seminary, and she attends mass every Sunday with her father.
It’s enervating, in a way, but she knows just how much it means to Romeo for her to accompany him every week so she does it just to pacify him. Now whether she’s as devoted as she makes herself out to be is a completely different story.
She’s not. Paloma believes in a greater being; but not in the same manner that organized religion does.
It would quite literally break her father’s heart if he heard her say that outloud.
August is a talented writer, his words transporting her entirely while also making his message concise and informative. Paloma’s been tucked away in her room, obsessively reading the book for about three hours when the landline in her room suddenly rings and it makes her jolt out of surprise.
The antique clock on her nightstand indicates that it’s nine o’clock and she blinks away the sudden tiredness at the realization. Inserting her bookmark on the page she’s currently reading, she closes the book and reaches over to pick the receiver up and wedges it in between her ear and shoulder.
“ Paloma speaking. ”
“ Hola, hermosa . ” Javier’s voice cuts right through her and she’s instantly smitten, the book she was so engrossed in not even a minute ago now forgotten.
“ You sweet talk every girl you meet in Spanish? ” She can't help but ask, feeling butterflies in her stomach at the way he flirts with her. Between his sultry southern accent and alluring dash of Spanish; Paloma can’t decide which one she likes to hear more.
She hears him shuffling on his end of the phone, “ Why? You don’t like it, cariño ? ”
The Spanish. She definitely prefers the Spanish.
“ I do. It’s different. ” Twirls the telephone cord around her index finger, “ You call just to shower me in pet names? ”
He chuckles, the deepness of it having her bite down on her lower lip.
“ No, querida , was hoping I could speak to your father. ” This makes her frown slightly, but also what other reason would he have to call their house at this time of night?
Call for her ? Talk her through an orgasm through the phone, telling her to imagine his fingers instead of hers and whispering those goddamn pet names until she’s panting; wailing out for him? Or even better: offer to come by to get her out of the dry spell she’s been under before her father made it back home?
Both so appealing. Both so ridiculously out of this world.
She realizes she’s been quiet longer than intended, so she snaps out of her sudden wet daydream, speaking up.
“ He’s out with some friends from the bar. Don’t anticipate him comin’ back home till way later so you’re just goin’ to have to catch him at his office tomorrow, Mr. Peña . ” She had taken notice of the way he was so bothered by her calling him by his last name earlier that she does it again, just to fuck with him.
“ You make me feel so old callin’ me that. ” He scoffs and her smile doesn’t budge.
“ Well aren’t you? ” Fuels the teasing, wondering how far she could push it before the fire she’s been harboring burns her.
“ You really want to play this game, corazón ? ”
“ Maybe… ”
There’s a swift pause, all that’s heard is both of their breaths on either side of the line. Paloma braces herself for whatever racy event decides unfold but he breaks the silence first.
“ Just be a sweetheart and tell your dad I called. Have a good night, nena . ” He doesn't even give her the opportunity to give a closing remark, the dial tone ringing in her ears before she pulls the phone away and sets it back into place.
She hadn't realized how tightly her thighs had been clenched throughout that whole exchange. It’s embarrassing how her body reacts to him. Whether it just be his voice or his presence itself.
Paloma groans, standing from her bed and deciding to shower to calm herself down, August’s book being placed on her nightstand next to the landline.
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Javier walks in to the crowded bar much later than he intended to, stuck at the station with some chatty citizen who called to complain about her neighbors dog.
This is the life he lives now. Went from tracking down dangerous sicarios to listening to elderly women bitch about pets.
Nevertheless, he does what he’s been hired to do.
He hears the music that’s currently got the entirety of the place rumbling spilling out into the street upon arrival. The decently sized bar is filled with so many patrons, that it took him a second to recognize it. Honest to God.
Javier has definitely underestimated Seminary. It becomes clearer the longer he's here. While he does find himself complaining about the monotony most of the time, he’s slowly but surely easing into it.
He finally makes it to the bar and orders himself a whiskey, neat. It’s been his go to order for as long as he’s been drinking.
Dark eyes scan the crowd until they land on the stage where the first person he notices is Paloma; dressed to the nines with a bright smile. A smile he mimics as he watches her strum her guitar, the three other woman sing along with instruments of their own adhered to their bodies. Paloma isn’t currently singing, just adding in to the instrumental of a song that he doesn’t recognize. After paying for his drink, he maneuvers the crowd until he finds Romeo sitting front and center, swaying along to the music with nothing but adoration in his eyes for his daughter.
When he sees Javier approaching, his entire face lights up.
“ Javi, my man! You made it. ” The two share a friendly handshake as Javier sits down in the empty seat besides him, digging in his leather jacket for a smoke.
“ Woulda been here earlier but had a Margaret Lipton call complainin’ about how her neighbors dog won’t stay on its side of the fence. ” He grumbles, lighting the cigarette and taking a lengthy drag as the song finishes.
“ Sounds just like her. Expect a lot more’a those. Poor woman is just lonely; her husband of fifty years died not too long ago. Ever since then she’s been callin’ nonstop over petty shit. She’ll complain if a fly buzzes by, I tell ya. ” Romeo adds on, taking a sip from his drink and this gets a brief chuckle from Javier, making a mental note to limit his calls with one Margaret Lipton.
The next song begins, a very lively country tune that immediately shifts the atmosphere of the already buzzing bar. People begin to flood the dancefloor in front of the stage, but it doesn’t obstruct his view from the person that he’s here to see. He watches as she strums her instrument before approaching the microphone.
♫
“ Came into this world,
Daddy's little girl,
And daddy made a soldier out of me. ”
Her voice is so rich and smooth, ears perk up at the angelic singing and he takes a swig of his whiskey, eyes not leaving her for a second.
“ Daddy made me dance,
And daddy held my hand,
And daddy liked his whiskey with his tea. ”
She shoots a wink towards their table, and while Javier knows it’s directed to the man besides him, he can’t help but be selfish enough to think that’s it’s meant for him.
That her attention is all for him.
“ And we rode motorcycles,
Blackjack, classic vinyl,
Tough girl is what I had to be.
He said, "Take care of your mother
Watch out for your sister"
And that’s when daddy looked at me... ”
The music picks up, can feel it embedding itself in his bones and he’s so entranced by watching her perform that he just barely notices when Romeo leans over to talk to him.
“ Told me she wrote this with me in mind. Swear I’ve never been more proud of her. ” Javi peels his gaze away from her before the man notices how he’s basically eye fucking his daughter.
“ She usually write her own songs? ” He can't help but ask, her voice ringing out passionately as the song continues.
“ Majority of ‘em. Always got her nose stuffed in one’a her journals. When she’s not writin’, she’s at the piano or on the porch with her guitar. Melts my heart every time I see it. ”
Javier doesn’t say much in response, intrigued to hear how her voice sounds when it’s just her singing.
Paloma reproaches the microphone after the long instrumental that had the crowd dancing along to the upbeat country track concludes.
“ My daddy warned me about men like you
He said, "Baby girl, he's playing you!
He's playing you! ”
She sings with a vigor he was not expecting, making eye contact with him and he catches the way her red-stained lips pull into a smirk.
Just like that, she has captivated him all over again.
Under the stage lights, Paloma emanates an otherworldly glow, her presence as captivating as a celestial being. Clad entirely in black, she stands out against the band's more colorful attire. A leather miniskirt, paired with sleek black stockings, hugs her form, the oversized silver buckle of her belt gleaming under the spotlight's embrace.
Her leather jacket, mirroring the skirt's allure, features intricate silver detailing that catches and reflects the light with every movement. Beneath it, she wears nothing but a black bra, veiled by a sheer mesh top that adds a layer of sexiness to her ensemble.
Paloma's long brown hair cascades around her like a veil, framing her face in an aura of natural elegance. Atop her head sits a black cowgirl hat, a bold statement that perfectly complements her outfit. And completing the look, her feet are adorned with matching black boots, tying everything together with an air of effortlessness.
She appears absolutely mesmerizing. Javier finds himself reaching for another drink, needing its warmth to steady his racing heart.
“ 'Cause when trouble comes in town
And men like me come around"
Oh, my daddy said shoot
Oh, my daddy said shoot. ”
The chorus is repeated once more by the performers and some of the crowd, which has him wondering if this was a Seminary original song.
“ Oh, my daddy said… shoot…. ”
They drag the last lyric out with the rattle of the drum’s percussion before the song officially ends and The Whiskey Fox erupts into a boisterous applause. The women take turns hugging and congratulating each other, though his focus is solely on Paloma. He doesn’t even acknowledge when Romeo gets up to get them all another round of drinks.
" Well, folks, I reckon y'all just witnessed a taste of the good ol' honky-tonk spirit here at The Whiskey Fox! Ain't nothin' like harmonizin' with these talented sisters and feelin' the energy of this fine establishment. Let's raise a toast to good music, good company, and good times at the Whiskey Fox—where the spirits are high and the music's just right! " The bar laughs and this gets a bemused chuckle out of Javier, who stubs out the cigarette he’d been puffing on throughout the performance.
“ So another ‘round of applause for the lovely Lone Star Sisters . ” After a few more formalities and some announcements, Paloma disappears for a brief moment before he spots her again, this time heading in his direction.
She’s stopped a few times along the way by some patrons who simply cannot get over her and her performance.
All Javier does is admire and be amused at how they treat her like she’s a celebrity. Even watches as she signs a slip of paper and crouches down to give it to a little girl. The interaction has his heart racing so he downs the drink in front of him to slow it down.
–––––––––––––––––––
The adrenaline that Paloma feels after a show is indescribable. It’s like she transforms when she’s up there, giving it her all and making sure that the crowd watching is being entertained to the fullest extent. It’s why she absolutely loves it when she sees everyone dancing, has even spotted a few people singing along to some of the original songs she performs regularly.
It’s an even better feeling when she gets off stage and is being praised left and right; it makes her feel like the art she puts out is important as it’s being appreciated by everyone and not just those in her immediate circle. What really melts her heart, though, is when she sees the gleam in the eyes of the younger girls who come see her play. As if they’re looking up to her, seeing their own aspirations performing out on the stage. Knowing that she’s somewhat of a role model to them is all she needs to stay content in her passion for creating music.
After finally getting through the crowd of… admirers (she doesn’t like calling them fans; it feels odd), Paloma reaches the table her father always sits in but is pleasantly surprised to see just Javier there.
“ You came. ” She doesn't even try to hide the large smile on her face, heart still beating wildly in her chest due to the high energy performance.
“ Found a small window of opportunity in my very busy schedule to be able to make it. You’re lucky, hermosa . ” He teases and she laughs with a shake of her head, shaking off the leather jacket on her shoulders and removing the hat that sits on her head.
It is entirely too hot for her to sport it for the rest of the evening, so she drapes the jacket over the back of the chair and lets her hat hang over the corner of it.
“ You’re a damn good singer. ”
The compliment has those butterflies stirring in her stomach again. Paloma won’t ever admit that she made sure to be on her game tonight in anticipation of his attendance. She doesn’t want to come off as desperate, despite how flirtatious their interactions have been since they met.
“ You sayin’ that ‘cause you mean it or are you just tryin’ to become my groupie? ” She cocks her head to the side slightly, sliding into the seat across from him and crossing her legs. She bites her lip once she watches his eyes divert down to her thighs; the top of her stockings showing and a soft slither of her olive skin teasing him to make a move.
“ I genuinely mean it, querida , but being your groupie doesn’t sound half bad. ” Paloma giggles, scrunching her nose and he smiles at her.
Why does she feel like she’s drunk off him? What the hell does he lace his attention with?
Romeo returns right on time, setting down three glasses on the small, round table.
“ Alright, a bourbon for me, whiskey for Javier and a root beer with muddled cherries for my beautiful daughter. ” She reaches for her drink, ignoring the look Javier gives her and she takes a lengthy sip from the straw; the carbonation feeling so refreshing as it travels down her throat.
“ No celebratory drink? ” He asks her, fingers once more fishing out his cigarettes and lighter.
“ I only drink on occasion. Try not to do it when I sing unless I need to loosen up the good ‘ol pipes. ” Two fingers tap against her throat to emphasize her point, his dark eyes trailing the area and she knows his soft lips would feel divine against her warm skin.
The trio fall into small talk for all but five minutes when Javier’s pager buzzes in his jacket pocket. He excuses himself from the table and he saunters away to the pay phone outside of the bar. Paloma’s gaze follows him all the way out, sound of her father talking muffled as he overtakes her thoughts.
–––––––––––––––––––
Javier digs into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out a few coins to insert into the public telephone then punching in the familiar number of his former partner. The line rings three times before Murphy picks up.
“ We got him. ”
The words knock the wind out of him and he stabilizes himself by sticking his hand out to lean against the payphone stand.
“ Alive or dead? ”
“ Trujillo shot the fucker right between the eyes. ”
He presses the phone against his forehead at the news, eyes closing as he allows it to fully sink in. Knows he should be relieved… that the weight on his shoulders should dissipate now that Pablo Escobar is dead.
Not in custody or cornered. No, dead .
Yet he isn’t relieved. Not as much as he would have wanted to be. It’s a bittersweet feeling, really. They can rejoice now that they got one dirty narc over and done with but if Javier has learned anything in the past few years–– it’s that this war on drugs is far from over. The rest of the Medellín cartel has yet to fall and Cali just reached its peak.
You know what they say: cut off one head and two more take its place.
But that’s no longer his problem. He had been reassigned, sent somewhere where he could chill the fuck out and start making amends for his fuckups in Colombia. His only focus now, as long as he’s concerned, is dealing with what happens in Seminary and Seminary only.
He and Steve finish their conversation, reminiscing on all the crazy ass shit they had to do and endure in order to get to this point. Steve ends the call by telling him that he should have been here to see it all the way through and that, in a strange turn of events, he was proud of everything they accomplished together despite the bullshit that ensued.
Javier doesn’t say much, as per usual, but he doesn’t have to. Steve knows he’s appreciative.
Fingers itch to pluck out another cigarette but he goes against the urge, instead collecting himself before reentering the bar.
–––––––––––––––––––
Paloma was left alone shortly after Javier left to take his phonecall, her father being pulled away by his buddies while she finished up the rest of her drink.
When Javier does return, she immediately notices the change in his demeanor but doesn’t know how to ask him what’s wrong without coming off as bothersome.
“ Everything good? ” Is what she decides on, leaning in to rest her chin on the palm of her hand as her elbow sits on the perpetually sticky top of their table.
“ Everything’s alright, muñeca . ” He takes his seat again, still being flirtatious but there’s an edge to it. He grabs his drink and swishes its contents around the glass before downing it all in one swift shot.
Paloma doesn’t say anything else, and she doesn’t get the chance to when her father returns to them.
“ I gotta go handle some shit that’s popping off with the Sullivan’s. Go get your things, baby, we’re leavin’. ” This pulls a groan from the back of her throat.
“ I do not want to tag along while you deal with whatever the fuck they got goin’ on. Not after last time. ” Very rarely does she tag along with her father when he’s on the job; and last time they had been called to the Sullivan farm–– she didn’t expect to be there for almost three hours trying to help calm down Mrs. Sullivan, who was threatening to shoot her husband with their shotgun.
The conversation seems to intrigue Javier, eyes darting between the both of them as he begins to smoke again.
“ Well, you’re gonna have to hitch a different ride, then. ”
“ That’s no problem, Mr. Peña will take me. ” They both look over to Javi as she’s just volunteered him to drive her home.
“ Paloma––– ”
“ It’s fine, Romeo. Go handle it, I’ll make sure she makes it home safely. ” His thumb drags against his bottom lip as he stares right back at Paloma and his intense gaze has her shifting in her seat, the familiar feeling of arousal shooting heat up between her thighs.
It doesn’t take much convincing to send the sheriff on his merry way, her body tingling at the idea of being alone with Javier in his truck as he takes her home.
“ You gonna make sure I’m fine? That I make it home safe and sound? ” Paloma asks with a bat of her eyelashes, leaning close enough to where their knees brush up against each other beneath the table.
He follows her lead, leaning forward and taking a drag from his cigarette. “ S’what I’m here to do, princesa . Make sure beautiful girls like you stay safe. ”
There’s still some bite to his words but it’s hot the way he flirts with her. She catches the scent of his musky cologne mixed with the liquor and cigarettes he's consumed and it’s intoxicating.
“ I thought I told you these things’ll kill you. ” She plucks the nicotine stick from between his middle and index finger, putting out the nearly finished thing against the ashtray.
“ And I thought I told you I’m gonna die eventually. ”
“ Try not to make it anytime soon. ”
“ Why, would you miss me, cariño ? ” His brows raise inquisitively as he asks her, brown eyes gleaming beneath the dim lighting.
Paloma shrugs, sliding out of her seat. “ Probably not. I’ve just met you. ” Is said nonchalantly, despite her head spinning from how badly she wants him. She grabs ahold of her jacket and hat, “ I’m going to go pack up my things. Meet me in the back alleyway in ten. ”
–––––––––––––––––––
After getting her stuff into the back of his truck and watching her say goodbye to everyone, Paloma is sat in the passenger seat as Javier drives along the familiar road towards her house.
It’s quiet at first, the radio playing some song softly to fill the void from the absence of conversation.
“ So… you got a girlfriend? ” Paloma’s question catches him off guard and he actually laughs in her face. “ Or boyfriend–– I don’t judge. ” She raises her hands defensively.
“ Why, you tryin’ to apply for the spot? ” Javier briefly takes his eyes off the road to look over at her, biting his tongue once he sees how she’s staring at him.
She leans against the door, the soft hue of the radio's blue light casting a tantalizing shadow across her face as she draws one knee up to her chest. In that moment, she exudes an aura of irresistible allure, beckoning with every curve and contour bathed in the seductive glow. Javier contemplates pulling over just to grab her by the neck and press his lips against hers.
She just rolls her eyes, playing with the ends of her skirt.
“ Not really, just curious. ” He can hear the sincerity coating her words and while he usually wouldn’t divulge in his personal life, let alone his romantic relationships, he decides to answer her truthfully.
“ No girlfriend. M’not really the settle down type of guy. ”
“ Ah, so he’s got commitment issues… ” Paloma trails off, messing with him.
“Somethin’ like that. ” He isn't offended by her assumption, since it is the truth.
“ So no girlfriend back home? Or in Colombia? ”
“ Why the sudden interest, princesa ? ”
“ Just trying to get to know you, cowboy. ” There she goes with that nickname again and he just shakes his head softly.
“ The honest truth...? No girlfriends anywhere. Lots of hookups in Colombia, though. The women there are very beautiful. ”
She’s silent, which has him looking over at her again yet this time she isn’t staring back, instead looking ahead at the road in front of them.
“ So you’re a slut. ”
He laughs again, much more lively this time, “ Most people would agree with you, yeah. But I had my reasons for sleepin’ around. ”
“ Aside from pleasure, what were the reasons? ” Her brows raise, her arms crossing against her chest, pushing her breasts together and the sight is like something straight out of a Playboy magazine.
“ Most of ‘em were informants. Prostitutes who had vital information about the criminals we were after. ”
“ So in return for intel, they got to spend a night with you? ”
“ That was part of it. ”
She hums and he turns the question on her before she starts asking about other aspects of his life in Colombia.
“ What about you? Got a boyfriend–– or girlfriend. I don’t judge. ” He repeats her own playful words back to her, making a turn then flipping on the brights as the street lights have decreased to none; leaving them traveling down the dark back roads.
“ No, not at the moment. I’ve only ever had one real boyfriend. ” Paloma leans her head back against the window, eyes still trained on the emptiness of the night. “ And that ended terribly so I didn’t bother trying again after that. ”
Curious to know this terrible ending she speaks of, Javier proceeds to stay on topic. “ Must’ve been real bad if it got you to give up entirely. ”
“ Yeah. His name was George. We dated in high school... can you keep a secret? ” She sudden;y asks, ripping her gaze from the windshield over to him. He can see her from his peripheral.
“ For you, nena , of course. ”
“ We were supposed to get married and run off the night before graduation. Had planned the whole thing out, even bribed an officiant to wed us in the middle of the night down by the cemetery. It didn’t take him much convincin’; told us he had a soft spot for young love. ” Javier doesn’t say anything in response, instead letting his silence speak for itself and allowing Paloma to continue on with her story.
“ The big night came. I was so nervous I coulda puked. Me and the officiant waited for what felt like an eternity until eventually he apologized to me and left. I cried there all night, a stupid and naive part of me hoping George would eventually show… he didn’t. ” She sighs heavily and Javier wants to reach his hand out to rub comforting circles with his thumb against her thigh but he doesn’t, instead driving down the driveway that led to her home.
“ Found out the next day that he had left for the army. Which was so heartbreaking since that’s why he wanted to leave Seminary. He didn’t want to enlist like his brother and father had. Guess something changed his mind… haven’t heard from him since. I never told anyone about it, and the officiant passed away shortly after so… ” She trails off and Javier genuinely feels for her.
However, he can relate to an extent. Not to her but to her ex. His relationship with Lorraine back in Laredo a haunting reminder of the type of man he was slowly turning into. Instead of leaving for the army, though, he’d left her at the alter to run off to Colombia.
“ That’s… tough, querida . ” He's never been the best at comforting and it doesn’t seem like she minds his scarce sympathy.
“ It is what it is. I got over him eventually. ” They roll to a stop once they’re at the large country home, he puts the truck in park and cuts the engine; letting a comfortable silence fall over them.
“ Thank you–– ”
“ Do you need–– ”
They both speak at the same time, interrupting the other and they share a laugh about it. “ Ladies first. ” He beckons her to continue, shifting his body slightly to face her.
“ Thank you for bringing me home. I know I didn’t give you much of an option. ” The soft click of her seatbelt being undone brings a sense of reluctance over him, knowing that her departure is imminent and he's already dreading the moment she must leave.
“ Anytime, hermosa . ” Javi's dark eyes soften, “ Do you need help getting your things inside? ” Paloma nods and he’s quick to hop out of the truck, rounding it to open the door for her before she even gets the chance to reach over for the handle.
“ What a gentleman. ” She purrs, her hand brushing against his shoulder as she walks past him to help unload her equipment.
The desire to push her up against his truck and passionately kiss her, have his hands explore every inch of her body is tempting as all hell but he shows some self restraint.
They get everything into the living room and she walks him over to the front door.
“ I appreciate your help, Mr. Peña . ” Paloma leans against the doorframe with a teasing simper. They’re close enough to where he can see all the small imperfections that litter her skin. His eyes taking in how beautiful she looks up close, their bodies slowly gravitating towards each other.
“ You ever gonna stop callin’ me that? ” He asks, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, hands landing on either sides of his hips.
The girl shrugs, blinking slowly. “ Not till you’re not bothered by it. ” They exchange a lustful stare until he decides it’s time for him to leave before things escalate and he crosses a boundary he’s helplessly trying not to overstep.
“ I’ll see you around, Miss Leighton. ” Very reminiscent to their last goodbye, her smirk softens into a smile.
“ Goodnight, Javier. ” One, two seconds pass before she’s leaning in to place a gentle kiss against his cheek, the feeling has his heart racing and she pulls back slowly before taking a few steps back and closing the door.
Javier is left in a stunned silence, the small act of affection impacting him more than he would like to admit.
#javier peña fanfic#javier peña narcos#javier peña smut#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal character fanfic#javier pena fic#javier pena narcos#javier pena smut#javier pena fanfic#javier pena fanfiction#pedro pascal
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bro pls convince me to read the raven cycle i started it but i got bored and i want to get into it so bad.
so as much as i wanna say, hey this changed my life and it comforts and supports me when i'm having a rough time and it's sometimes all i think about to an unhealthy level and thus you have to read it--as much as i wanna say that, i don't believe that last bit. because here's the thing--not everybody's gonna connect to trc, or to any piece of media, the same way. if you didn't connect with it right away, there's not a great chance you'll end up being as infatuated with it as so many of us are.
however, i do think it could be worth another shot. if you need a reassurance that it's worth getting through the first book or so, here are a couple:
in the following books, you get expanded worldbuilding and new perspectives from different characters (a lot of us liked the first book pretty good but then really fell in love during the second or third book)
the characters get sooo much more blorboable in the following books
i personally think a couple of the biggest turn-offs people have about the first book--mainly, as i've heard, blue's sort of "not like other girls" thing and ronan's personality as seen by the others--are very well developed and remedied in the following books
the found family and Themes go absolutely crazy as the series goes on
there's a spin-off series that is very different, but still really good imo, and revisits fan-favorite characters while introducing some new really awesome characters too
one of my favorite things about the series is the vibes, tbh. as much as the themes and layers and mysteries and theories and metaphors and everything else make me foam at the mouth, it's also just very...youthful, but in a dark and real way. like, this is how it feels to be in high school sometimes--it's not always fun and carefree, sometimes it absolutely sucks and you just wanna fast forward through time, but also parts of it feel like a magical world that nobody else can see, that has been made just for you and your best friends to explore
the magic gets way magickier. like, if there wasn't enough magic for you in the first book, just wait. it gets way magickier.
it also gets much gayer in the second book and exponentially gayer from there on. hold fast
sorry for taking so long to respond to this ask, but i really hope you decide to give the series another try! i think it's worth it. but of course remember, if it's not for you, it's just not for you, and that's totally ok. :)
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The Owl Curse: Or How Eda Stopped Fearing the Curse and Learned to Love the Pet It Totally Always Was.
Sometimes my Discord can trigger me to want to write something. After rambling some base thoughts, someone pretty much summed up what this blog is going to say in the best way:
Eda's Curse in S1: Bit like lycanthropy, drains bearer's magic, functions well
Eda's Curse in S2: "Hey guys, remember Naruto and Kurama? That was interesting."
Which is just SUCH a perfect way to describe the difference in how the curse is treated but I want to go a step further. Let’s talk about just how bat shit crazy this curse is from a narrative perspective and how many retcons Knock Knock Knocking introduces that make ZERO sense.
Before I get into this though: This all effectively nitpicking. It’s not even “Oh, all these nitpicks become a genuine problem.” No, nothing like that. The Owl Beast is very effectively used emotionally and narratively and its only real problems are in lack of exploration/use of Harpy Eda and the stupidity of the plan against the Day of Unity and that’s more a plot problem than it is specifically the curse’s.
So first: What is the curse shown to us in Season 1? Well, it’s actually kept pretty consistent and does a bit of back fill for why the strongest witch in the Isles doesn’t exactly do all that much magic in the first couple episodes. It seems directly tied to your magic supply and emotions, which in TOH are one and the same regardless of jokes like magic ‘coming from the heart’. If your emotions go too high or your magic goes too low, you turn into the beast. Worse yet, it chips away at your maximum magic until eventually you are always at the minimum threshold and will permanently become the beast.
(Also, yes, you could claim it as a ripoff of All Might but All Might is a REALLY good idea for a mentor figure so taking from him is not exactly a bad thing.)
This also frankly explains what the elixirs do. While they can’t fix the maximum mana issue, they can be a temporary reserve of mana that satiates the curse, This allows the witch to have more tolerance on both magic and emotions that might not otherwise be available, though they won’t stop a panic attack or excessive magic use from causing a transformation, at which point the mana cap is cut even harder.
It’s frankly a pretty good curse and in S1 had a lot of interesting possibilities and implications. From disability allegories to possible worldbuilding explanations for why you became any sort of beast, to even the idea of soul animals seeing as both Eda’s palisman and beastial form take elements from owls. The one thing it doesn’t feel though is alive or sentient.
It is feral and seemingly designed to specifically make a powerful witch into a mindless monster. To turn the intelligence and magic required to be a powerful spellcaster in most settings into a creature of pure instinct and brute force. Anytime there is any intelligence within the creature, it is explicitly stated that that is due to Eda.
And a final note on the S1 elements: We do see Eda’s nightmares. She has reoccurring, lucid nightmares where she sees Lilith but shrouded in darkness. Her actions are of aggression and demands which is very fitting for Eda. This is her way of responding to something that annoys her. Something she wants answers to.
Then we get the finale and Lilith takes half of Eda’s curse. Because the final stage of the curse takes ALL of your magic away though, literally any spellcasting power is taken by the curse. A possible stretch but one that works, especially since now the curse itself is halved and its floor for their magic is effectively no longer existent. It’s something that will get them without medication and in highly emotional moments but now that they have no magic, how it functions in terms of the magic they have in them is questionable. But it works well for a finale and a theoretical resolution to the curse.
Except... It’s not. I’m actually going to skip Affearances. We’ll come back to it, don’t worry, but we actually first need to discuss the creation of Harpy Eda first. After all, if it’s simply a normal curse, or even mental illness because in S1 it works well enough as a disability allegory (including in Affearances frankly) the Lilith being able to gain it as well makes sense.
Knock Knock Knocking makes it a literal owl beast though. It can be reasoned with, make deals and while it looks big and scary, a minor act of aggression can have you realize in your dreamscape that it’s actually tiny and pathetic. It’s just a little guy who got trapped inside you with the power of the curse.
And this fucks EVERYTHING up.
If aggression can have you meet with its tiny self, because Eda only shows it kindness once it’s small and effectively a baby, then why hasn’t she met the owl baby before? We literally saw that be her reaction to the Lilith dream. Also, that entire sequence is kind of awkward because Eda goes from being ready to throw hands and beat the shit out of it to “No... No. This isn’t your fault. This can be a team effort,” effectively in the span of a screen wipe.
But also how about the fact that it can be reasoned with at all? Eclipse Lake straight up shows that it can communicate with its host. That it can make deals and that Eda can even understand it. Why hasn’t this ever come into play before? If it’s an active entity instead of a passive force, why does Eda have to still take the potions instead of just changing her terms with the owl baby? It didn’t seem to actually hate her at the mental beach and that immediately created Harpy Eda once Eda was willing to give it some head pats.
The fact that the full Owl Beast form exists at all post Harpy Eda makes no sense. In the finale, she warns the Collector that she won’t be able to control herself before going beast form... But why? That’s not Eda. That’s the Owl Beast. And what the fuck does the Owl Beast about Luz? Instead, it should have been a true fusion of her and the beast. Put some of Eda’s red in its fur or REALLY go monstrous on Harpy Eda’s form since it’s not even as monstrous as most werewolf forms. It’s too sleek to be that frankly.
But Eda and the Owl Beast are two different beings. They are not one like they were in S1 where if a fully feral Eda had protected Luz, it actually would have made sense because of the found family aspect. It’s a momma bear protecting her cub or the like. But the owl beast has no relationship to anyone in Eda’s life. It only saves Eda’s life because of the promise of food in Eclipse Lake.
And all of this brings up an additional question: WHAT THE FUCK DID LILITH SPLIT!? The Owl Beast has its full form with Eda and since it is the swapping of yourself with the literal creature inside of you, not the figurative one anymore, you can’t just cut that in half. Eda’s beastial isn’t diminished after all. It comes out in full force. Why isn’t it still consuming Eda at full speed then if it’s still entirely inside Eda instead of just being a curse?
Or for that matter: Why is Lilith’s beast form different? It’s a literal creature now. People can want it like the possible archivist we see in that dream which... Not gonna touch on it. The point is that Lilith just has a new creature in her that isn’t the same owl beast. When it’s just a curse that is going to have slight variations based on the host’s magic and personality, that made sense. As literal, sentient creature you can reason, NOT SO MUCH!
And all of this is without getting into the fact that the plot HINGES eventually on the curse... Still being a curse. Still acting the same way it did in S1 where it just devours magic. It’s why her bard magic now destroys everything it touches. It’s where the BRILLIANT moment of “Let’s counter this spell that kills people by draining of them with their magic with a curse that turns people into monsters, effectively killing them, BY DRAINING THEIR MAGIC” comes from. It’s not good, but it is CRUCIAL to the plot that it can still work like this when we don’t even know why this beast consumes magic at all. We know it likes eating voles. If Eda caught a few voles once a week, would she need to stop taking the potions?
So with all that said, with all the questions... Why don’t I condemn this like I do a lot of other half baked elements of TOH? Well... Because it actually has payoff that’s relative to the necessary suspension of disbelief. It’s a curse and it’s magic. So long as it is a detriment to the user, it can do a lot of whatever you want it to.
And for S1, its arc with Eda and Lilith is powerful. It’s a lot of what makes the last two episodes of S1 as effective as they are and kind of why Affearances being the last time the two take each other seriously (and not even really that. Eda doesn’t really have a relationship with Lilith after S1 and that just sucks and plays into the utter wasting of Lilith’s character) is such a tragedy. There’s still more there to do but it’s just kind of thrown off, but the double beast battle is GREAT and Lilith’s beast form is PHENOMENAL.
Even Knock Knock Knocking and all of its retcons to one big point: Eda coming to terms with the curse. Because we as an audience know how long she’s struggled with it, how much it has hurt her, her coming to find peace with it is powerful and evocative. It’s part of why I REALLY wish Eda had just mastered there and then. They never do anything with it after all and pulling back and being like “Actually, she still has little control over it and needs the elixirs,” kind of cheapens the moment. It’s in line with TOH always not allowing the climax of an episode to be fully impactful (Reaching Out with Amity and Alador, Understanding Willow with Amity and Willow, Eclipse Lake with Amity and Hunter, though that one actually works). Which, fine, but you have to have a point to an anti-climax like that and TOH doesn’t ever plan for those. It’s just another way that the show can say it’s not as twee as other kids’ media, or media in general, when in reality it’s just wasting time.
Which frankly, trying to say it isn’t a problem, especially with how the plot handles it with the Day of Unity and all the ways it makes no sense, short term or long term...
Yeah. It’s just bad. But it’s indicative of a deep rot at the core of the show that’s constantly eating at it so that its highs can’t ever be as they once were and their options for how to actually fix their issues become less and less.
Almost like a certain curse I know.
========
I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.
I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead,
If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
And finally a Twitter you can follow too!
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2023 books i liked recap because why not
top faves, new entries on the all-timers shelf:
piranesi is like a sweet spot of novels made for me i swear. aesthetically beautiful (as far as mental images go), themes of wonder at the beauty of the world, a slowly unfurling mystery, a simple plot but with vibrant beauty and meaning layered on top. It's Good
giovanni's room also has a very simple plot that is so overlaid with soaring passionate emotion i swear it feels like an opera in book form. timeless classic. it's good idk what to tell you
oh man ancillary justice is such good sci-fi. when you start out reading it you're like this is rather dry but it pulls you in so hard. the worldbuilding! the themes of identity! breq is such a good character!
not quite all-timer shelf but still really good
fish swimming in dappled sunlight is ultimately a story about stories and memory and constructed narratives and the reliability thereof. it takes place over a single night and mostly just consists of characters sitting around talking, but manages to pull some crazy twists on you regardless. love the prose style too
i'm glad my mom died lives up to the acclaim. mccurdy has a real talent for narrative voice, effortlessly inhabiting the viewpoint of her younger self at various ages. balances humor and tragedy with frank candor. i sound like a review pull quote here so i'll stop
infect your friends and loved ones is actually a novella so pretty short! it's by the author of detransition baby and has definitely gotten me interested in reading that. really vivid meditation on trans womanhood and transmisogyny that bounces between post-apocalypse and pre-apocalypse settings. pdf here
less stand-out but i still liked it
what are you are looking for is in the library is a nice little series of loosely connected vignettes about people who are stuck at some point in their life and find inspiration at the library. all the staff at my library job wanted to read it so the hold list was a mile long lol. has inspiring themes about always being able to find a way forward when you're in a rut and the power of community and stuff
a people's history of heaven is about the life and times of a group of girls living in a slum in bangalore, india. i liked how it interwove different people's life stories together and used lots of vivid detail and i like how the trans girl's story was written. some aspects were hit or miss for me but it was still nice
temple alley summer is a kids' book but i like kids' books so that's fine. it's about a boy who sees a ghost and the next day she's a student at his school and everyone seems to already know her but him and it turns out this is because his house was built on top of a mystical temple. i like the meditations on life and death and the simple heartwarmingness. it takes a long unexpected detour in the second half which threw me for a loop but ended up working for the story
stuff i started reading but didn't finish and i swear i'm going to try to get to it this year
to shape a dragon's breath is pretty long so i didn't get that far in before i had to return it to the library but i really liked what i read. the worldbuilding is really interesting and the narrative voice feels fresh and unique and deftly avoids the samey YA mold that tends to grate on me. and it's got commentary on colonialism! definitely check this one out
i got halfway through radium girls which is an accomplishment for me since it's long. rare nonfiction entry on this list. goes into insanely meticulous historical detail complete with fiction-style descriptions and embellishments of the girls' lives which just makes it more tragic
i own a copy of the haunting of hajji hotak but it's seriously harrowing stuff so i had to take breaks. it's good man. but whew it does not shy away from the realities of living under war and occupation. death to america
ok that's everything i think seeya next year
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Books I Read in 2024 #5: Katana-Ra (Jay Libby (based on an outline by Kosala Ubayasekara), W.R.K.S. Games (self-published), 2023)
(Spoilers below cut for the game systems and worldbuilding)
Got another one for you today, mostly because it was very short and I had to get this out of my head before I spent too long ruminating on cyberpunk. Spoilers below cut for the game systems and worldbuilding.
Another weird one.
Katana-Ra is a difficult to place tabletop rpg system. It's only somewhat edited, spottily punctuated, and at times hilariously strange; there's probably a dozen times in this system where a Japanese loanword based entirely on the English term is used in place of said english term (the onmyoji spell Force Field uses the verbal component of the sacred word Fosufirudo, for one). It's artwork is entirely produced by Midjourney AI (though it does at least have the sense to cite that its artist did their work 'with the assistance of the Midjourney AI'), and its vibes are inscrutable.
The setting itself has some fascinating elements to it; the Katana-Ra island chain on Earth is the home city of the game, a stand-in for Japan that has been plagued by Oni since the third century (the timeline is firmly in the 3500s, having a full listing of period names ala the Japanese eras of history that are entirely), but despite that presence briefly expanding worldwide following the unnamed World War bombing of Nagoshima (it's stand in for Hiroshima, presumably; I'm aware Nagoshima Island exists but I don't know why that would change), the supernatural remains a carefully guarded secret. Eventually, mankind colonizes the stars and eventually Katana-Ra ends up at the front of the Common Federation of worlds.
It's...a lot. The layout of this book is bonkers; Chapter 1 is History, consisting of a table of the years, periods and key events of history, then the...calendar, the heirarchy of nobility from the president down to the primary clans of the Katana-Ra Keiretsu, at which point it launches directly into Chapter 2, Regions of Katana-Ra. It then gives you a run-down on each island, then just goes right into character generation. Theres maybe 30 pages before you start calculating your Kenkoro, your Kokoro and your Sukiru (skills).
The system itself is barely legible, and frankly baffling. To make a roll to do an action, you roll your 'action roll' 1d10+your sub-stat (you've got a main stat, then smaller stats like strength, agility and constitution) and a relevant skill, then a 1d10 'result roll' with no modifier. The table for non-combat results is that 1 is a Failure, 10 is a master, with gradations at 2 and 9 and then simple success at 3-8. True Failures reduce your skill by 1 (skills, while unranked on the character sheets and when you pick them, start at 2 and go from minimum 1 to 4), and masterful successes increase your skill by 1.
You may be able to see the problem here.
By default, you have a 10% chance to get worse at rolling on any simple skill roll that you're trained to do, which is *always* possible because the Results roll is unmodified. (There is a rule that seems like it's supposed to be their patch for this, 'Accuracy Over Skill', which places the skill roll on the Results die instead of the Action roll, but it is worded as only being intended for combat. That said, literally every roll in this book is phrased as being related to combat, and no rolls are described outside of combat anywhere in the text.)
This is also true in combat, when you roll damage it's on the results table and a failure does no damage and also decreases the Skill rolled. Conversely, a 10 automatically kills.
It's a little rocket-taggy, to say the least.
There's some gems in here; the idea of a story on the capital of a spacefaring empire isn't exactly new, but it's interesting in the face of the extremely staunch traditionalism that dominates a fifth of the island that rejects technology entirely despite, you know, all the crazy stuff they've got going on. The Oni stuff also is at least interesting, with oni infection passing through technology and nanotechnology which can be countered by Nexorcists, a Shinto sect that uses blessed nanites to exorcise technological yokai.
There's all the classics of sci-fi; androids who were supposedly hunted to death for being uncontrollable (who have actually set themselves up as internal infiltrators to the Keireitsu, to the point of having made themselves a Clan Of One Blood inside the clan organization that aggressively works to their own benefit first and the corporation second), lasers banned from the planet for being too dangerous (but you can get a laser katana if you're a cool enough samurai), an undercity of cursed individuals living among the oni and eking out a pitiful existence in the land of the dead (literally, where you go when you die and can't leave if you're foolish enough to eat its food or drink its water).
It's...uneven. It has big ideas, but no editing to speak of; sentences are worded in ways that make me think it never passed before one (the book certainly doesn't list one). It feels like a flight of fancy that it even exists, much less in the frankly well-printed copy I got from my Local Game Store (alongside a copy of the Roleplaying in Glorantha Runequest core book, which i'm looking forward to reading).
The company seems to have disappeared; both websites listed in the credits page are defunct, but a quick search shows that W.R.K.S. games also released a Katana-Ra CRPG game on Steam that's still available for purchase, and that search also shows another game in the Katana-Ra universe that is either a mobile game or long since defunct and gone from storefronts. After a bit of searching, it looks like the company closed as an entity in September 2023, 3 months after Katana-Ra hit on DTRPG and presumably had a full paper print run. Since then, it appears Kosala Ubesekawa is working as a solo developer via Patreon on a Katana-Ra city-builder titled Lords of Kensai.
It's pretty rare to run into a heartbreaker in the cyberpunk space, much less one that had as grand ambitions as this one seemed to, with full games developed under its name and released. I don't know what could have been done to give it a gentler path out of the hell that is self-publishing an RPG in the modern era without any publisher backing, but it truly does feel like a labor of love by a small team devoted to an idea that could have flourished with some more structure and care.
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The demo is so good, author, really, its been a while since i found an interesting IF about magic and finely written too, i really like the worldbuilding you create there, would love if you post about it more, the lore, the world, the magic, codex things, anyway author, do you accept ROs ask???? How about nsfw ask???? Can i ask for some facts about all the ROs???? I hope you dont mind me asking that, hope you have a great day !
Hi, Anon!
First of all, thank you for the ask. It makes me really happy to hear that you enjoyed the demo :)
I do plan on posting some snippets of lore and other things, sometime soonish (I've been really busy with work these days, sorry...).
If you've got any questions about the ROs, just ask :) Though please understand that if the ask is connected to some big plot point, I might not be able to answer it.
As for NSFW asks, I think I'll be okay with some mild NSFW, but nothing too crazy, please :D
Finally, some facts about the ROs. I don't know if you saw this (basic info about the characters), but if you did, I wrote down some random facts about the ROs below. These things might or might not come up in the story, so proceed at your own risk :)
Valia
is the oldest of four siblings, all daughters
absolutely loathes the taste of tea
lives in a large manor with her family and a LOT of cats
takes care of her small garden in her free time
has a tattoo of an elm tree on the nape of her neck
Lucenis
isn’t fond of going out because people tend to recognise him
has an enormous walk-in closet with too many clothes
knows 5 languages
has a very intense morning workout routine
owner of a beautiful collection of hand fans and blades
Tev
goes to the theatre to watch plays quite often
is a music lover
has a personal spy network
is not a morning person (you do NOT want to wake them up)
has a younger sister who they dote on very much
Cerin
their home is a mess of artefacts and old tomes and whatnot
loves to sunbathe, but always gets awfully sunburned
starts lectures about random topics when drunk
has a hunting dog named Kiri
is well-liked by their students
[Redacted]
can drink everyone under the table
loves to carve wooden figurines
takes naps in random places
walks very quietly and likes to scare people
carries around a notebook filled with portrait sketches
#aesemyr: the withering#aesemyr asks#anonymous#valia kainen#lucenis veldari#tevshedi zanue#cerin melista
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A tip for worldbuilding architecture: look at what materials are available nearby, and then pick a style on really like. As for matriarchies, they are not incompatible with agriculture, but often, what comes out in terms of economical structures is either warring cultures or sea-farring cultures. Both imply that the men would be gone for a good part of the year, and thus would be physically unable to command any wife. It is also not incompatible with slavery, although, not chattle slavery. For fantasy creatures, the structure would be more unique. If in the wider culture, there is a subculture that would be at frequent risk of mob violence, than, the family structure would most likely be patriarcal, so as to protect the women, unless the females are considerably stronger in brute force than males.
I have decided not to make a matriarchy in the world I planned to, since it would kind of ruin the conflict as the male and female protagonist must stand on equal political grounds. He is even slightly advantageous, but it's because he's from a higher noble family than her (they're distantly related). They basically fight for power and battle past traumas, and I wanted to eliminate any sexism that would additionally limit my (very gender non-conforming and crazy) female protag. The male protagonist's family is patriarchal in the sense that the father happens to be the head of the house, but both men and women can inherit and pass on the name, it all depends on age first and skill second.
For architecture style, I was going to base it on Polish/middle-European in general architecture since I rarely see that in fiction unless the story is set in Germany. But I think the land of my female main character is being actively colonized so I have yet to decide how it affects her surroundings. It isn't a metaphor for anything historical since she's white, it's just important for the backstory.
But turns out I already had a matriarchal world without thinking about it much???
I have a whole culture made up inspired by Mesopotamia with some Mexica culture mixed in because why not, and they do live off of the sea and are a matriarchy! I didn't know that it goes along before, it's just that the idea that sparked this was me at 12 playing with dolls and I had like 15 girls and 2 boys so, no room for the king. Silly inspiration is the best. Also sea foraging went along with the type of magic I wanted to include. It's for a different set of OCs though, and the matriarchy is... a female monarch who indulges too much in life and basically enslaves pariahs of her land. The main OC's mom became one of those "mandatory Palace workers" after being accused of witchcraft against the monarch (she's guilty lol). So yeah it's a whole other mess I have yet to even draw people for. Brute force matters there so the guards and physical workers are mostly male, but there are a few people who practice magic, and they are mostly in power, but not always. There's a whole order of women who worship the goddess of femininity, and it's not unheard of that if a man does something to his wife or kids, they curse him or outright kill him. I mean, the Mexica/Aztec inspiration extends to human sacrifice, and they need to please the goddess who in mythology ate her husband so he could ascend to paradise... fictional mythology, idk if that was a thing in any mythology. Zeus ate his ex wife Temis I think, though??
Also the order can accept trans women (in today's understanding they'd be trans women, for them it was different, they don't really have the concept of gender at ALL and gender/sex based roles are vague and loose), if they go through a full transition (castration and a lot of weird potions that would have little to no physical effect but a lot of spiritual).
There are other temples and gods, but I don't think there's any with male-only worhippers.
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lol me again! just a big fan of your contributions to f/f cobra kai and i won’t be awkward about it. bless.
anywho: 🌿💞💌?
Ahhh this is very sweet 💕 Luckily you’re always welcome
🌿how does creating make you feel?
Ohh that’s a good question. I think I’m the kind of person who just. Has To Be Making Something at all times or I go stir-crazy. And I have a lot of potential outlets and often find myself frequently switching between all of them (maybe just to maintain enough novelty for a dopamine hit; bc adhd). Crafting, baking, cooking, sewing, knitting; the list goes on.
And writing is one outlet for that (and I think one of the most important ones) and it’s always been something I gravitated towards even as a kid.
So I guess creating often feels like scratching an itch, like a sense of relief.
I think esp with writing it’s also like, a comforting reminder that I do in fact exist, and my thoughts can exist outside of myself and be recognized by others
💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language
God I think maybe just. Vibes??? Although maybe vibes isn’t the right word. My natural style is stream of consciousness so I care a lot about, like. The overall impression, the feeling, the tone. And the flow. I think description and characterization are also pretty important, and they tie into the emotional impression the story leaves… and then there’s like, plot and pace and the rhythm of it which is big too.
💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!
Hmm there’s a lot, but I think in particular with the Piper/Yasmine fic I’m really excited to craft their dynamic (which is mainly this thing where Piper is a constant overachiever who is never not striving for something that feels just out of reach, but meanwhile Yasmine tends to live life in this state of almost?? Learned helplessness??? And it’s partly bc of her wealthy upbringing making her complacent, but it’s also the way she consistently devalues her own desires when it comes to anything non-material, and just assumes she has to settle for whatever people tell her she should want. And Piper just like. Wants to shake her by the shoulders about it).
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View - The Library of Elvish Lore
By evansentranced
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/25789
Not the kind of Harry Potter fanfiction I go looking for, but this cleverly conceived series is seriously worth a go.
Harry Potter is abandoned by the Dursleys at a young age. He then proceeds to live in the forest and grows up thinking he is an elf.
I know it sounds crazy and I had been putting off this rec for a long time, but having exhausted my HP read list, I took the plunge only to realise it was actually rather fun to read!
The series has 3 parts:
Fantastic Elves and Where to Find Them - Harry's adventures as a wandering child (sorry, elf) in the forest
The Handbook of Elf Psychology - Harry's times in Hogwarts and how he secures recognition for his species
Dobby the Almost No Longer Free Forest Elf - a short one-shot
Pros:
-- Kid-fending-for-himself is always a classic trope that pairs well with found family and adventures. This story does the trope complete justice.
-- I appreciated how he was quick to accept reality when the Dursleys abandon him and goes into survival mode. Also, how he unknowingly creates differences in other characters' thought processes was a nice addition to the plot. Highly reminiscent of Maniac Magee!
-- Kudos to the author for taking a threadbare plot that relies entirely on the original's worldbuilding and not the plot itself, and still delivering a full-fledged and engaging story while not slipping into the 'crackfic' mold.
-- Also, Harry achieves what Hermione only dreamt of - Emancipation of all house elves.
-- Shows why Flitwick was Head of House for Ravenclaw.
Cons:
-- Requires suspension of disbelief that not a single adult could dissuade Harry of the notion that he was an elf. Expected more from Dumbledore.
-- Too dry in tone and impersonal which may make for a dragging read at times.
Much as I enjoyed this series and will recommend it as 'light reading', I probably would not try something similar for the next few months. I am used to a little more warmth in character interactions.
#fanfic#fanfic review#ao3fic#hp fanfic#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#house elves#forest elf#hp fics
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I hope your busy day isn't too chaotic for you and goes smoothly <3 As for questions, I was curious about how A Cure for Happiness is going? What about The Pirates of Sissa series? I'm curious about what parts of them are standing out to you, what your favorite parts of working on them has been, and how you personally compare and contrast the two? They seem like two very different approaches to the fantasy genre and I'm kind of wondering how the process of writing them has been similar and different for you.
Hey Ren!! 👋👋👋👋👋 Thanks so much for this ask! I can already tell I'm gonna be answering it all day 🤭 Perfect for in-between breaks 😄
A Cure for Happiness is 👀 kinda not going in that I haven't written for it since my hiatus. But as with any WIP, it's always there in the back of my mind, so it hasn't been completely not going, either. And the same exact thing can be said of The Pirates of Sissa, except that I wrote a bit for it lately so I'm happy about that!
You're right! They're both so different that it's a lot of fun to be able to switch from one to the other. TPOS (what an acronym 😅) is such a serious, political, complicated story that deals with super important topics and has very few lighthearted moments, while ACFH is a lot more lighthearted because it's a simple mystery but it's set in this crazy world that seems to have no rules and just the most bizarre and wonderful things. So being able to have both of them in my rotation is actually really helpful because there are times when I want to write serious, brooding (🐓🤭) characters and there are times when I want to write fun, light adventure.
The main difference, when it comes down to it, is that there are no rules in ACFH. TPOS has no magic, and when there IS magic, it's generally dark and no bueno. In fact, TPOS has very earth-like dynamics for everything, so it's really only a fantasy insofar as it takes place on another "earth". I would say most of its fantasy elements come out in its flora and fauna, actually. 🐲 Meanwhile, ACFH takes all these well-loved fantastical elements like hobgoblins and gnomes and odd curses and "magical" items, and even though in this world it's not *magic* at all, it's going to seem like a very wondrous thing to the reader. 🔮
So generally, TPOS takes more brain power than ACFH for me, if that makes sense. Since there are no rules to the world of ACFH, pretty much anything goes. That's not true at all of TPOS. So there's more mental energy expended in writing it. 🧠
And, when it comes to actually writing them, it's so much easier to keep worldbuilding in mind for ACFH because that's such a central feature. You *want* readers to be looking around in awe at your world. With TPOS, it's more of a character driven drama type deal, so sometimes I forget to worldbuild in the story and it ends up feeling like it could have happened literally anywhere ever 😅 That's something I can fix in the editing phase, probably.
I think what bothers me about both of them atm is that I HAVE the plot planned out and I just need to. Write. Pls. 😂
#writeblr#ren-c-leyn#writer talk#asks#fantasy#the pirates of sissa#a cure for happiness#this took me 3 or 4 breaks to answer 😂
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Heyyoooooooo beloved!
Sorry for being absent, i was preparing for my graduation ceremony! And totally didn't almost trip in it!
But that's not important, 😜
Tiny workers au!
So since you have that massive list of awesome attractions, and various cc s in the au, how about the tinies and giants fav and most hated of the attractions?
Hmmmm also sorta same idea as shapeshifter ranboo, do you think there are like hunters or traffickers of tinies? Maayybbbee a hurt comfort idea of Wilbur saving Tommy in some way (I'm a firm stan in crimebois if it wasn't obvs by now😂)
Ohh and maybe what is the most illegal "contraband" the tinies try to smuggle into the park from their giant friends that the boss keeps confiscating, go crazy with this!
Missed doing asks! I hope all has been well🥰
hii!! >:DD
nono don't apologize ik you have a life!! and :000 that is amazing!! excusing you almost tripping, i'm so happy for you!
that is so important i am always happy to hear about your life too!! i talk to much about me with these asks dsjbjdgsdnf
mm yes beloved au >:]]
i don't do this like ever but i'm skipping over this question! but i have a good explanation and that is i am planning on making a huge masterpost for this au seeing as writing it as a multi-chapter story might be difficult, and in said masterpost i'm going to be going over this exact thing with each of the regulars & the employees :)
okay so this is a cool question cause i've been so caught up in fluff for this au that angst totally slipped my mind!!
i'm going kinda deep into backstory here so bear with me as i too figure out the worldbuilding to this au as i'm writing :)
the park is pretty much the only location in the world that has tinies working as semi-regular people. a lot of the population leave the species alone, and a good majority of people don't even know they exist. so the park definitely breaks a lot of social norms that've slowly just built up naturally. while there are no laws just yet against using tinies for labor and you can technically do whatever you want with them, there are certainly organizations that are against the idea of the park.
especially after it opened, a handful of large corporations started looking into using tinies. a few decided against it while others sealed the deal.
it's kind of like with my spy au where under most moral circumstances, the borrower(s) at hand have a choice: stay or go. and more often than not---with a little bit of manipulative persuasion, the borrower goes.
so as far as traffickers go and hunters go, if (sorry for any typos beyond this point my friend's dog is literally shoving her face onto my keyboard while i type lmao) there is any it'd most likely be from someone who's trying to save them--to bring them "back to where they belong" but like in a /pos way sdhdghafsdnf
but if written from the opposite pov this could totally be seen as a /neg thing, therefore angst has presented itself to the ideas table :D
mm have this scenario:
a few month's after wilbur's first meeting with tommy--they're beyond comfortable with each other and have easily reached the "brother" stage--a small group comes and organizes a protest against the park just a bit away from the front gates, where the golfing is located. (in my mind you enter the park, walk a 'lil bit, and you're there but there's work to be done !!) beeduo has gone to take a walk because ranboo was on edge basically the entire morning. so that left tommy. alone. with his thoughts and the yells of dozens of humans outside yelling god knows what.
he stays there for what feels like hours before he hears an ever-so-loud knock echo around his hollow home. tommy dreads whoever it is, but soothes immediately at the sound of wilbur's voice calling out gently to him.
(ps. wilbur takes tommy home after that and they stay there for a few days :D just too lazy to write that and i know if i do this ask would be way too long)
hdhsfjdsgjdnf yep i've noticed loll but dw, crimebois are very beloved to me as well so answering these are a blast >:DD
hmm this is a hard one! i feel like tommy'd just try to bring back a lot of coke but his boss says that's too much energy for him and he'd get another dozen complaints filed against him instantly. tubbo'd also try to befriend and take care of bees lol
but i mean as for stuff that's actually illegal and can't be found anywhere inside the park and they'd get into real trouble if ever found with it, i can't think of anything !! D:
jeez this is terrible i've never had an idea come to a stop before >:v
a aha just thought of smth lmaoo (like 10 seconds later irl)
okay so like yk catnip n shit? what about that but for borrowers. cause weed may be like too strong for a borrowers system (no don't make me get into biology for this au just yet) so there's a specific plant that borrower's have used for centuries. now this isn't exactly original and i can definitely think of better things but c'monnn
imagine techno, after hearing about it from wilbur, tending to a small garden of it just for the borrowers :( /pos
i love soft techno this is just an excuse to make him exist in this au /hj
and i mean if the boss ever found that he'd get pissed cause yk they're supposed to be good employee's if they're going to live on his property and eat his food blah blah blah yk the dad talk,,,,
also also also i was just abt to post this when i got the idea of this:
tw for mention of vore & fatal vore (fatal vore will not happen in this au dw)
another thing that they'd absolutely get yelled at for is like imagine smth to help with noms? i actually forgot how i set up noms for this au but i'm all for updating the worldbuilding so now it's official that a tiny can comfortably be stored in a human's storage for up to about two-four hours before it'll get uncomfortable and even lethal.
a human's storage is extremely small and just barely has enough room to house two four-inch-borrowers, like it's tight and narrow asf. so maybe there's like a black-market type item where it's like some type of drink that makes the borrower more comfortable? maybe it relaxes the tinies mind and messes w smth in their body that makes staying inside a storage for longer than the suggested time without like yk dying
all is well here, hope it is the same there!! <''3 can't wait to hear from you more :D (but still don't force urself to ask things just wait till u have the time to. i've got the patience for it :])
#brickquiries#graci brickling#tiny workers au#cw vore implication/mention#tw fatal vore implication/mention
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