achilles n his silly actions
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came accross my book of The Iliad
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Okey but imagine what it must have been like for everyone else outside of Achilles and Patroclus in the Trojan war
“Great! We’ve got Achilles here, we’re saved! But who’s that other guy?”
“Right, that’s Patroclus, Achilles’ emotional support human”
~
“Help I’m dying! Achilles help me!”
“Hold on, that guy is standing too close to Patroclus”
~
“Odysseus, Achilles is being unreasonable again.”
“You brought Achilles here??? What did I tell you? We reason with Patroclus and then Patroclus looks pretty and Achilles will listen”
~
“Patroclus died!”
“Ahh, dam it, now we’re gonna loose the war”
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POV you’re a boy mom in 1180BC:
What can I say I’m back on my bullshit
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One of my favorite kinda returning jokes in The Song of Achilles is how bad Achilles and Patroclus are at keeping their relationship secret.
Odysseus says he’s heard that they always share beds together and Diomedes jokes that he didn’t even know Achilles was ‘into girls.’
Like.. did everyone in the army know, or was it just a select group of guys? Because I think it would be hilarious if only a handful of the guys realized they were dating while everyone else was just like “Man, Achilles and Patroclus do everything together. Like hold hands and share bedrolls and even share their clothes. And I once heard weird noises come from their tent. Weird. But since they took Briseis in, that must mean they’re into her.” Meanwhile Odysseus is doing everything in his power to repress his laughter.
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RIP Patroclus you would have loved Hozier songs
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“the devil (god)’s after both of us
lay my curses out to rest
make a mercy out of me”
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Thinking about how Athena and Pallas were raised together. And how Athena accidentally killed Pallas. And then Pallas became an epithet for her and in the entire Iliad she’s always referred to as “Pallas Athena”. And how Odysseus, her favorite devotee, is referred to as Pallas Odysseus because of that. Totally not sobbing. Definitely.
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* when I click on a patrochilles fic because the tags are really good but then Patroclus is a uwu soft boy with blue eyes and no agency*
Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house Madeline Miller get out of my house
Get out of my house, Madeline Miller
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