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#incorrect tsoa quotes
meditando-en-paris · 1 year
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Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.
Achilles: *Loud gasp*
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LOSING IT 😭😭
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Odysseus: Love, if I died, would you get married again?
Penelope: That's a stupid question, I wouldn't let you die.
Odysseus: But what if it was out of your control, like I was run over by a chariot or fell ill or something?
Penelope: I would march down into the Fields of Punishment and drag you back out.
Odysseus: What if I was at peace in the afterlife, and didn't want to come back?
Penelope: I don't care what you want, you think I'm living without you? Are you crazy?
Odysseus: Awwwww. Wait, why did you just assume I'd end up in the Fields of Punishment?
Penelope: Have you met yourself? You're a heinous bastard and that's why I love you.
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athenas-sw0rd · 9 months
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Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.
Achilles: I never considered you at all.
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leosoralyyn · 5 months
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me reading tsoa: why is there an whole 2 pages describing how hot Achilles is?
Oh yeah this is Patroclus' pov
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lenaleviosa · 10 months
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Greek soldier: “I’m sorry Patroclus, but you’re banned from working in the infirmary”
Patroclus: “What? Why?”
Soldier: “It’s Achilles. We can’t have him getting hurt every day just to come see you. He’s our best soldier you know”
Patroclus: “That’s not - I mean yeah, he’s an idiot, but you can’t just -“
Achilles: *walking in, dramatically limping* “Help me Patroclus! My left toe is bleeding!”
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Odysseus: What's up with Achilles? He has been laying on the floor for like.. an hour now?
Breises: He's a bit overwhelmed
Odysseus: And why is that?
Breises: Patroclus smiled at him
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thaliasthunder · 1 year
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achilles: my boyfriend is just the kindest boy on earth, a literal angel that can do no wrong, he-
odysseus: didnt he kill someone
achilles: and im gonna make sure you're next if u dont shut up
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marsdeathdefiances · 9 months
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Achilles: I got in trouble during the council.
Patroclus: Why?
Achilles: Odysseus pointed a stick at me and said ‘the person on the end of this stick is incompetent’ so I asked ‘which end’
Patroclus: *laughing* I’m so proud of you babe.
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linktenbooks · 1 year
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Achilles, thinking: Wow Patroclus is so graceful and beautiful
[Patroclus, trips and falls over his own feet]
Achilles: gorgeous
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whitevesper · 1 year
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[achilles teaching patroclus to drive]
achilles: you’re driving and suddenly you see clytemnestra and agamemnon walk into the road. what do you hit?
patroclus: the brakes obviously
achilles: wrong. agamemnon. you should always hit agamemnon.
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meditando-en-paris · 5 months
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Achilles: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Patroclus: AS ENEMIES?!
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knicknocknick · 1 year
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Patroclus calm down
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sungodra · 1 year
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Achilles: Go big or go home!
Patroclus, with tears in his eyes: I'm begging you, Achilles, for once in your life, please, just this once, go home
Achilles: I'm going big
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athenas-sw0rd · 8 months
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Achilles: So what’s your type?
Patroclus: Blue eyes, prideful, strong, oblivious, blonde hair.
Achilles: Kinda sounds like me. Too bad we’re just friends.
Patroclus: ..did I mention oblivious?
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Diomedes: Achilles, do you support the LGBTQ community ?
Achilles, pulling Patroclus into a delicate kiss: I'm gay.
Odysseus: He's avoiding the question!
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