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#the third wheeling trauma is real

il-predestinato · 6 months

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The look on Checo's face and the way he high-tailed it out of the car to get away from them. 😭💀

#charles leclerc #max verstappen #sergio perez #checo perez #lestappen #laugh tag #*#my edit #the third wheeling trauma is real #las vegas gp 2023 #fave #f1

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qtubbo · 4 months

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Almost everyone assuming the way to “fix” Tubbo not being happy being make him and Fred start dating again, because it’s the simplest solution but just isn’t the solution. Tubbo is not jealous of Fit and Pac’s relationship in comparison to him in Fred, any jealous is of himself being third pick, rather than anything to do with them actually dating. From his and Bagi’s talks with Fred, it becomes pretty obvious that Tubbo is avoiding getting back together with Fred. He knows Fred likes him still, both how she’s acting and from the “boy with the pretty eyes” letter. Bagi’s talk with Fred, made her convinced that they just need to get together since it’s obvious they both still like each other, but it also asserts that Fred is making the active choice to step away for safety reasons.

From Tubbo and Pac’s chat, we can really gather some of his lingering trauma from his relationship with Fred. Fred was in constant danger from the Feds because he was with Tubbo, and Fred liking Tubbo is what got him tortured and almost killed by Quackity. Tubbo projects this unfortunate relationship on to Pac’s with Fit, he puts Pac as himself and Fit as Fred (just due to opening up to Pac instead of Fit nothing more), he explains in rambles about how they’ll be used against each other. That their relationship puts a target on each other’s back, if someone wanted to get at Fit they could use Pac. Pac being so open towards Tubbo, allowing him to get his thoughts out without proclaiming paranoia, helped Tubbo be a lot more honest. Explaining his general anxiety towards being in a romantic relationship, because he’ll be the catalyst to their down fall. Even making it obvious to someone else if it came down to it he’d kill Fred for an egg, by speaking of ultimatums in which it was Pac/Fit or Ramon/Richas.

He makes it pretty obvious he’s put his life on hold for Sunny, by projecting those same choices Tubbo made for Sunny on to Pac. Tubbo isn’t going any of this out of some jealousy to have Fit and Pac’s relationship but rather from fear. To him the choice is simple, even though it’s guilt-ridden, what’s better Pac or Fit dying as a pawn in someone else's game or a break up where they remain friends afterwards. This is a much more deep seated issue than some magical true love kiss can fix, even though both Fred and Tubbo still love each other. Fear is overriding want, and just getting him and Fred back together will make him reject Fred, or be in an intense state of stress.

When it comes down to his relationship with Morning Crew as a whole, he feels like the third wheel and has always felt that way. It’s Fit and Pac and then it’s Tubbo. Tubbo mimics a lot of Pac’s issues about usefulness and feeling like last place within their respective family’s. He’s been open about feeling like Morning Crew will become just a duo, that most of the love is directed towards Fit and Pac rather than himself. Tubbo has never shown any real bitterness from this, but he has showed a deep loneliness, Morning Crew is his safety net, he hasn’t accepted Bagi in yet, and his relationship with Phil has strained since purgatory. So in practicality if he lost Morning Crew, he looses an essential part of being alive, and he needs that for Sunny.

Tubbo is overwhelmingly terrified that Fit and Pac getting together is the beginning of the end, even though Fit and Pac have shown even after dating that he’s always on the back of their minds, that they’ll always care. He convinced himself that they’ll start spending more and more time together, without him, that he won’t even be a sidelong glance. There’s also a fear of death, a forced separation that them being together means their always each other’s weak point, “empathy is weakness”. To show care to another, is to show someone can hurt you with them, that’s something Tubbo has lived with since Fred. He won’t call Morning Crew his family, even though they are because then they’ll be in danger because of him.

It’s this pestering paranoia that’s driving Tubbo, not jealousy, he can not be “fix” as most islanders say by just giving him Fred to love. His loneliness is a choice built on fear, sometimes when Tubbo says he doesn’t want to love again, he means it. They love each other but now is not the time, maybe in the future where he isn’t so isolated.

#qsmp #Qsmp tubbo #qsmp pac #qsmp fit #qsmp bagi #long post #qsmp analysis #frubbo #fitpac #qsmp shipping #Morning crew

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dittaturamonegasca · 1 month

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I think there should bé a fic where anyone from the grid would be third wheeling Landoscar, like, have you seen how these two interact.

So, I lack the ability and the time of f1writingbyme and LestappenForever to make this idea into a proper work like they did for "How (Not) To Third Wheel Lestappen" (check it out on Ao3 if you haven't already, definitely worth it) BUT BUT BUT, I can tell you how I think most of the grid would react in third wheeling Landoscar!

1) I feel like we should spare Checo, cause honestly this man has had enough as third wheel of Maxiel and Lestappen, I don't wanna give him extra traumas, SO –

2) Logan Sargeant: this one I really feel guilty about. Cause I like the narrative of him and Oscah being besties and still I cry over the sad edits of Logan just left behind. I think Landoscar with Logan has the most space for improvement?? I forgive Oscar even tho he definitely ghosted the poor Logan for the whole honeymoon phase with Lando (it's been almost two years, Osc, get a grip). I have a feeling Logan will speak up at some point and this would shake Oscar a little, so maybe he would be the more aware and more involved third wheel, possibly? They'll end up doing triple video-games championships with Lando and Logan mocking Oscar's gaming skills, mark my words.

3) Carlos Sainz: my man how does it feel to know you've wasted your chance (multiple chances, lets be real) for good? I have mixed ideas about this one, cause I think it would probably being more like Lando struggling to keep them both as close as possible resulting in Oscar being rightfully jealous 👀👀 so the third wheeling situation would be like Lando trying to involve a very annoyed and confused Carlos in their things (safe for work, ofc). I don't really see a way out of it.

4) Daniel Ricciardo: I mention him but I can't really explain cause honestly my idea of Daniel third-wheeling Landoscar is either him babysit them around Australia and bonding with Oscar over weird aussie habits OR OR OR something very NOT SAFE WORK so ( ... )

5) Max Verstappen: I love to think he'll remain an unbothered king, you know? Like he's well aware and a bit upset that his crepes companion invited someone else (beside from Daniel) to their dessert dates and that the two of them acts like lovebirds even without an actual physical contact. He'll probably send SOS texts to Charles and Daniel until a topic of (his) interest comes out and honestly at that point the power of maxplaining will win over pretty much everything and everyone. At the end of the day Landoscar turn out to be the real victims.

6) George Russell: poor thing was originally invited for a golf morning from Carlos (Landoscar were already supposed to attend), but Chili called off last minute so Georgie ended up with just the others two. LET ME TELL YOU he jumped off the golf cart cause he saw Lando placing a hand on Oscar's thigh and feared for his life. It took several minutes for them to notice he was aggressively walking behind. He was also hit by a golf ball because Oscar distracted Lando for a second too long, I guess you can figure out the rest.

7) Special mention to the PR and the McLaren team in general who's main job rn is having them to SIMPLY F O C U S outside the pit for like interviews and debriefings. I can picture Lando losing it after hearing a single compliment like "SO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY", cause ✨babygirl✨ energy hitting here and there, even tho he has tried to be somehow a model for Oscar, at least for what concerns work. Indeed I pity trainers and strategists bc ofc Oscar listens at them, but image them trying to explain a concept to him just for Lando to get there and rephrase it in the dumbest way possible and Oscar going like OHHHHH NOW I GOT IT, COULDN'T YOU EXPLAIN IT THAT WAY?

8) This is mostly a guilty pleasure but do we all agree they torture the entire f1 group chat with their subtle flirting?

IDK if this was what you had in mind but I really REALLY had fun writing it.

So let me know what you think in the comments down below, if you agree or if you want me to make it longer and/or more detailed or just to focus on a specific one in particular?

Again, my dms and box section are open to discussions, requests and any sort of (respectful) thing!

PEACE OUT 🤌🏻❤️

#ask juls #landoscar #landoscar headcanons #headcanon #f1 #lando norris x oscar piastri #f1 fanfic #f1 rpf #mclaren #formula 1 #ln4 #op81 #logan seargent #carlos sainz #max verstappen #george russell #daniel ricciardo #the grid being the victims #landoscar took thirdweeling to a new level

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snowcoming · 4 months

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my fav things about percy jackson show ep5

-Ares trauma dumping family drama on grover and grover doing the "totally" thing where you could not give even a single shit. i'm living for this btw

-grover playing ares like the FUCKING fiddle

-ANNABETH FINALLY CALLING PERCY SEAWEED BRAIN LESSGOOO

-THE HUG????? (grover's third wheeling started ages ago but they really be shoving that face in the hug)

-Honestly bc Annabeth's closer to Luke it makes sense that she'd see the string cut

-ANNABETH SAYING PERCY'S NOT LIKE THAT AND LIKE TALKING BACK TO GODS? HUH

-Percy warning Ares lmao has got to be the funniest shit every ESPECIALLY when you think of him defeating Ares later lets be real

-PERCY'S FATAL FLAW IS SO FUCKING EMPHASISED WHAT

THINGS THAT I WAS THINKING DURING THE ENTIRE THING:

-There are so many changes wtf? but like? i'm living for them? like thank you (but I realllllyyyyyy wanted to see the spiders thing, and like the way percy got out of being a statue was VERY expected)

-dying because percy struggling with his powers is so weird to me

#percy jackson #pjo disney+#pjo tv show #pjo show #spoilers #annabeth chase #grover underwood #percabeth #percy and annabeth #ares #hepheastus #pjo ep5

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slexenskee · 11 months

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Running List of No Scrubs Albums

Because even I can't keep up with them anymore lol. I'll update it as I go. Also yes there are 6 official albums with 6 songs each... because Gojo is lame lol. And yes the acoustic albums are 5 songs... because he's extra lame

Spotify Playlist

update as of 09/18/23 bc I'm a f** scrub with commitment issues clearly

1. Thanks, I Hate it Here:

The 2nd album by release order, but first in chronological order of when they played them live. Yes, Gojo was feeling himself in his classic FOB phase real hard on this one lol. I find the evolution of FOB's discography IRL to be really fascinating, so I wanted to emulate it in the fic. This album is almost entirely FOB because Gojo realized flopping around bands and genres was difficult for the rest of his band, so he decided to first focus on one kind of ‘sound’ until they got used to playing together.

Critics will later call it a bit unpolished and juvenile in comparison to the refined sound, themes, and quality production of later albums, with it's younger and simpler narratives. Thematically it tends to resonate more with a younger crowd, which people accredit to Ru-kun's assumed age of writing at the time (late teens). In other words, it becomes the quintessential 'middle school glory days' playlist for an entire generation of No Scrubs fans.

A Loaded God Complex - (Sugar We're Going Down) FOB

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over - FOB

In Too Deep - Sum 41

Homesick at Space Camp - FOB

A Little Less Sixteen Candles - FOB

Dance, Dance - FOB

2. Good News For People Who Love Bad News

This was No Scrubs' first album ever released on a streaming platform, but it compromises songs more from their 2nd live setlist chronologically. A cult favorite amongst the fans, this album is fun and bratty with a combination of punchy pop punk lyrics, theatrical narratives, and catchy hooks that become unanimous with the band's dramatic flair. No Scrubs always had a rep as an underground alternative band with petty delinquent vibes, but this album definitely solidified them as the patron saint of all the edgy and misunderstood goth punks.

At this point the band had been together for a few years and Gojo definitely felt satisfied with the way the band was coming together and wanted to throw in some more famous mid 2000s pop punk bands into the mix.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner - FOB

I'm Not Okay (I promise) - MCR

In One Ear - Cage the Elephant

But It's Better if You Do - Panic!

I Write Sins not Tragedies - Panic!

Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day

3. Death Before Decaf

After playing up the 'pop' quite a bit in the last album, No Scrubs digs deep into some gritty grunge roots with their third album, full of noisy amped up rock anthems. Thematically it was considered their strongest album at the time of release, with intense vocals and lyrics covering dark and personal topics beneath the guise of their distinctive and iconic instrumental riffs. The juxtaposition between the catchy sing-along hooks and the depressing deeper meaning to the words made this album an instant classic. It remains a fan favorite of music critics for Ru-kun's scorchingly honest handling of raw and deeply personal themes like suicide, depression, and substance abuses. After the identities of the band members became public, it became a hotly debated album amongst No Scrubs fans, who consider it a cathartic outlet for a lot of the trauma that turned Ru-kun into a villain, but also a worrying one full of suicidal ideation, alcoholism, drugs, and child abuse.

On his part, Gojo was feeling nostalgic for his youth and felt it an affront that the likes of Nirvana and Weezer had never been experienced in the MHA universe. He gets asked about these songs a lot, specifically about Today, Semi-Charmed Life, and Say it Ain't So, which all seem to allude to a dark history. He often tells people Semi-Charmed Life is one of his favorite songs ever, which doesn't help matters, and also alarms several psychologists, who worry he's romanticizing what was clearly a very unhealthy time in his life.

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Today is the Greatest - (Today) Smashing Pumpkins

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana

Come As You Are - Nirvana

Say It Ain't So - Weezer

Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

4. Glass Onion Heart

Aka the "Baby boy who hurt you???" album inspiring sexuality crises across the world

Glass Onion Heart feels like a wild card of metamorphosis from No Scrubs' prior albums, with the addition of more electronic, pop, and synth instrumental mixing. Combined with the explosive and flashy tour that accompanied the album's release, it felt like a radical departure from the band's classic garage-band sound, into a more streamlined, pop format.

The album was met with divisiveness from fans, not helped by the news of the band's breakup following the album release and subsequent tour. While many adored the new direction, long-time fans mourned the loss of the quintessential indie and underground 'No Scrubs' aesthetic, especially when faced with the thought of their final album. Nonetheless, it was the band's most popular album at time of release by a wide margin. It certainly helped the album's popularity that Ru-kun did the entire tour in drag.

At this point fans the world over became intrigued by No Scrubs and their burgeoning fame, prompting Gojo to name the album 'Glass Onion' after the Beatles song of the same name, because there is no deeper meaning to any of his songs, he's literally ripping them off from bands that don't exist. Fans spend way too long trying to figure out who this album was inspired by - who could have possibly broken their precious Ru-kun's heart?? - and as we enlightened No Scrubs fans know, it was no one. Literally no one. Gojo just really liked this femme fatale vibe, and decided to cross dress the entire tour because of it.

Tokyo - The Wombats

Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte

Thanks for the Memories - Fall Out Boy

I'm the Leading Man - (This Ain't a Scene) Fall Out Boy

Moving to New York - The Wombats

Misery Business - Paramore

5. Infinity on High

Hailed as a return to the unfettered, unabashed, anti-establishment garage-band jam-session appeal that had people flocking to No Scrubs in their heyday, this album made an intense splash as No Scrubs' Comeback Album. Despite the return to their signature gritty rock sound, this album was in fact the most produced of any of No Scrubs' albums. This album marks both the return of No Scrubs as well as their launch into global superstardom.

Ironically, Gojo named this after his favorite FOB album (I mean it IS called Infinity lol) despite not including a single FOB track. Fans widely consider "Island in the Sun" to be specifically about Hawks, which Gojo never confirms or denies (although he definitely did think the similarities to their island mission were amusing). In reality, the song that reminds him of Hawks - and himself - the most is Mayonnaise, which might be why it's one of his favorites.

Holiday - Green Day

Cherub Rock - Smashing Pumpkins

Cool Enough - (Mayonnaise) Smashing Pumpkins

1979 - Smashing Pumpkins

Island in the Sun - Weezer

Wake Me Up - (Wake Me Up When September Ends) Green Day

Bonus: Don't You Know Who (I Think) I AM? Acoustic Album

The first of Ru-kun's unexpected - and according to Makoto, utterly unplanned - acoustic albums, this bonus LP was met with delight and excitement from fans after Ru-kun had teased its release on Twitter. The intimate and personal nature of the simplistic mixing gave this album a cult following, and brought in a new segment of music fans that No Scrubs' music normally didn't appeal to.

Nobody Puts Baby In the Corner - Fall Out Boy

Grand Theft Autumn - Fall Out Boy

My Heart is the Worst Kind of Weapon - Fall Out Boy

Notion - Rare Occasions

No Such Thing - John Mayer

Bonus: Take (Me) With a Grain of Salt

Despite the critical acclaim this acoustic album (and the full band versions eventually released afterwards) it was met with a lot of incendiary response at the time of its release. No Scrubs had finally achieved global stardom and was regularly topping hit charts across the world with the release of their album Infinity on High - and while music critics unanimously praised the EP as a worthy contender for Album of the Year, it was generally acknowledged truth that the album's popularity was owed in no small part to lead singer Ru-kun's sudden infamy that coincided at the same time.

The unfathomable depths of Ru-kun's new celebrity status in parallel to the band's brand of off-label, anti-establishment themes created friction within the fanbase. Many accused them of taking advantage of the current media coverage to promote sales, which bassist and band leader Makoto clapped back as 'just doing smart business'. In general, consensus was positive towards the sentiment; capitalizing on Ru-kun's fame and releasing an album in parallel to his identity reveal was just genius marketing.

However the timing of the release of Ru-kun's second acoustic album kicked up the discourse once again, with fans decrying the release as 'a fake sellout' aimed to exploit current gossip trends. However the album's drop was sudden and unexpected - with little to no pre-release marketing - lending credence to the narrative that Ru-kun wrote this album under the emotional duress of his personal life at the time.

Due to the staggering popularity of the acoustic album, the band eventually recorded and released a B-Side with full band versions.

Disenchanted - MCR

Stay Together For the Kids - Blink-182

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

How's It Going To Be - Third Eye Blind

All These Things That I've Done - The Killers

#fic may death never stop you #music recs #mdnsy art

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lorcandidlucienwill · 6 months

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Bitches be talking about Ruhn Rhysand Dorian; naaaa THIS is the real spiderman meme. Canonically some of the hottest characters in the series? Fenrys, Dorian, Lucien Warrior's training? Fenrys, Dorian, Lucien Brains? Dorian, Lucien Served a shitty monarch? Fenrys, Lucien Son of a shitty monarch? Dorian, Lucien Currently serve a different monarch than the one they started with? Fenrys, Lucien Fae? Fenrys, Lucien In possession of significant magical abilities? Dorian, Lucien, Fenrys Rizz? Dorian, Lucien, Fenrys Watched the person they care about more than anyone else in the world die in front of them? Dorian, Fenrys, Lucien Always serving with their hair? Fenrys, Lucien Use humor to deflect their trauma? Dorian, Fenrys, Lucien Victims of sexual assault? Fenrys, Lucien Constantly third-wheeling? Fenrys, Dorian, Lucien Currently un-mated? Fenrys, Dorian Survived a whipping? Fenrys, Lucien Unresolved romance? Dorian, Lucien Started off their character arcs as sassy kings and gradually became more and more depressed as the story went on? Dorian, Fenrys, Lucien @sunbrightheart we need to tuck them into bed and give them forehead kisses and then shower them with hugs throughout the day😭

#lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #fenrys moonbeam #dorian havilliard

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calolily · 4 months

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Preview of upcoming fic I am working on off and on, I’m excited about it.

Everything

Halsin x Astarion x Male Durge TAV (third?fourth? Wheel Gale pining for TAV)

CW:violence, explicit content, comfort fluff and discussion of trauma in the future.

This takes place right after defeating Cazador. Astarion remains a spawn but is now free. This is his coping with the loss of his tormentor and learning what real freedom is when you are truly loved.

Halsin insisted on accompanying you as his fondness for Astarion has grown ten fold with your newly budding relationship with the druid. Youve found a pair of soul mates in the two elves and they grow closer to each other by the day. Gale also insisted on being there for Cazadors defeat, the wizard had never been secretive about his love for you and he was being truthful when he said he wanted your happiness above all else. Astarions freedom was integral to the continuation of that happiness.

You are dumbstruck with the brutality that your love is capable. You’ve never seen him savage a body as he has just done to his former master. You feel the rage and anguish of centuries of torture radiating from his bloodied body as Astarion stumbles back, falls to his knees and weeps.

Your feet move on their own.

The scuff of boot soles on the stone echoes in your ears as your heart urges your body to lurch forward. Gale makes to stop you but you are too quick and you duck his outreached hand and take off to close the distance. Halsin lays a hand on the wizard’s shoulder.

“They need this…..both of them.” Halsin says softly, his voice nearly lost in the echoing chamber.

You know Astarion needs time, he needs this moment but you run to his side. You have to be near at the very least. He needs to know you are there for him and not just a spectator to his horror.

He needn’t be alone, not with so many people that love him so.

His uninhibited gasping sobs make your heart ache, you want to take his pain away but you know he needs to feel. Such a show of emotion is at odds with what you know of the elf, usually so guarded and measured. He has only shown you true vulnerability a small handful of times.

He needs to fall apart so he can pick himself up and put himself back together. He needs this.

You stop short, sliding to a clumsy stop arms length from where he knelt bawling pitifully, trying to catch his breath.

You reach out one shaking hand and lightly touch his bare shoulder. A feather light caress across his bare skin, just to let him know you’re there. He flinches at first and you regret the touch, the intrusion and you try to draw your hand back. He moves with you and leans into your hand.

He reaches across his chest with his blood stained hand and touches your knuckles softly, his eyes squeezed shut.

As his fingers brush your hand it’s as if he found a life line in the dark, he grabs your wrist desperately and curls himself around your arm.

He presses his forehead into the back of your hand and sobs silently for a few more moments before breathing through the last few heaving waves of emotion that rip through him. You feel his tears run down your fingertips and the feeling grips your heart with longing to hold him.

You gently curl your free arm around his head and slowly stroke his soft blood spattered curls. You still hesitate to insert yourself any further into his release.

After the space of a few breaths he releases you and pushes himself to his feet, wobbling slightly but resolute.

Your hand hovers protectively over his bare back, ready to catch him if his knees buckled.

#baldurs gate astarion #astarion #gale #halsin #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #halstarion #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #baldurs gate tav #halsin x tav

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the-royal-teacup · 1 year

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Ya know what Harry’s problem is? I know, there are many, but he severely over-estimated his popularity…

Harry was used to being ‘Jack the lad’ ‘the good time guy’ ‘the third wheel’ ‘the eternal bachelor’ you get it, he had many labels and was portrayed as the cheeky chappy that everyone loved and because of that he got away with a lot, too much really. Add in the trauma of losing Diana at such a young age and everyone felt sorry for him and just wanted him to be happy.

So, then, he brings Markle into the equation and he expects that everyone will love her and see that he’s happy and that finally the ‘eternal bachelor’ has found love and everyone will accept her and everything will be fine and dandy.

He thought his popularity within the UK especially was enough to win people over and that together they would become the ‘it’ couple that everyone would love her, she’d be adored like his mother because everyone would see how like Diana she was 🙄

And here’s the thing, if Harry hadn’t shoved her down everyone’s throats, if he hadn’t tried to make everyone like her and she hadn’t come in all sugary sweet and fake, maybe, just maybe, people would have warmed to her. If she hadn’t stomped all over protocol, disrespected the monarchy and the UK and actually tried to fit in and I mean actually fit in, paid her dues, kept her head down and actually put in the work, maybe people would have seen the ‘real’ Meg!

Ha! No. Who am I kidding? This is the real Meg. The one who thought she could come in, and her and Harry would be the ‘it’ couple and one up Catherine and William and be the new faces of the monarchy. When that didn’t happen they left, and yet you still aren’t the stars of the monarchy in or out of it.

Instead, you’re those bitter relatives that go around trying to win everyone over to your side, trying to poison everyone against your family and when that doesn’t work, you try to get back in with your family because you know without them you have nothing and certainly not the ‘star’ power you insist you have!

In conclusion Harry, well, you’re a twat and you completely over estimated your popularity and your wife’s ‘star’ power!

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hvstias · 8 months

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Do you happen to have any Deadlock&Sova sibling shenanigan HCs

Asking for my dogs distantly related cousins twice removed great uncles friend

well kudos to ur dogs distantly related cousins twice removed great uncle's friend bc they have a good taste!! here u go:

u know those duos that just click? yeah. that's them.

especially after sova investigated the place she lost her arm (from her cinematic but i cant remember the name blame it on my low b12 ok)

moving on so after some interrogation they just. clicked. call it trauma bonding or blond ppl telepathy they just did

they don't remember exactly who started it but now everytime they're standing together SOMEONE'S (bonus points if a dualist) always gotta make that sibling joke

they're both nature lovers but she thinks he's kinda insane for hiking for 4 miles at 7 am

okay including tremorbolt here because why not so do u remember that hc about deadlock and breach having movie nights? they also invited sova, deadlock nearly refused to watch the movie with them because she didn't want to third wheel those homos

BUT somehow breach ended up third wheeling them because they were going feral over the details of a fucking 90s horror movie while he tried not to die from too much laughing

her arm sometimes ache like an open wound, not that it's not healed wrong or something but phantom pain is a real pain in the ass and sova tries to help her w his grandmas home remedies and meds

ppl often confuse them as real siblings in public and its so hilarious to sova while deadlock just rolls her eyes but u can see a lil smile if u look closely thats her pocked sized himbo

sova is a good storyteller but he talks about gore so casually she's like ??? sometimes but still listens because this mf has interesting stories

like breach and viper, they also have their own bets but instead of winning they always end up losing bc they let everyone know what they bet on with their bickering lol

she thinks he uses too many hair products and he's just offended like?? do u think its easy to take care of this fabulous hair??

deadlock only cooks practical meals because she doesn't really have time to think about food (her words) and sova's horrified by her eating habits. like girl how are u even alive

sova can handle hot temperatures unless it's TOO hot but deadlock. oh boy. her nordic ass can't handle hot places unless there's an AC like she'd act like she's okay but you know how someone looks like when they're on the verge of dying from heat

they're both tea ppl but sova prefers black tea and deadlock finds those herbal teas relaxing after a long day at work

they smoked pot after a rough mission w breach once but that was the first and last time they listened him about his relaxing tactics because the headache in the morning? not worth it gals and guys and my nb children do not smoke pot if u wanna relax go take a shower or smth listen to me (definitely not speaking from experience)

ps: this is kinda short bc i've been busy these days BUT might make a part two soo i hope u enjoyed!

#asks #valorant headcanons #sova #deadlock #i luv them sm

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n7punk · 1 year

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"As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You)" Fic Notes

After talking shit and increasing the chapter count like five times, AMLAIT is finally done at 13/5 chapters. You can maybe guess there’s a lot going on in these fic notes.

No playlist this time, I didn’t make one assuming it would be a quick fic and just listened to random shit, or watched baking videos, or put in earbuds and listened to silence when I had migraines.

Epilogue life:

So I pretty much put what would be this section in the fic’s actual epilogue, but Catra and Adora end up staying in the apartment for a while. After a couple months of living with a third wheel (who is more like the primary wheel they are tricycling considering who owns the place), it starts cramping on their couple moments. Adora gently prods Catra about the idea of getting their own place, which is an idea that takes several weeks to sink in before she’s willing to explore venturing beyond her safety bubble, but everything changed once and the world didn’t end, so she eventually decides she’s ready. Catra finally leaves that small room after four years. As scary as it is, it feels like the ultimate measure of her growth.

After a few years they move to the outskirts of Bright Moon when Adora switches hospitals, giving them a bit more air and the “best of both worlds” when it comes to being in the city but having a bit more of the freedom/relaxation from their childhood town back. They’re also closer to Thaymor which makes visiting a little easier, and closer to Glimbow and Scorfuma specifically, though they’re farther from some of their other friends.

They both learn to maintain their best friendships even not living together and they regularly visit Adora’s parents, though they never tell anyone else about Catra’s ability. Netossa seems like she suspects something at times, but she never directly implies or asks something, and whatever she suspects certainly couldn’t be the truth.

Chapter 1:

⦁ If you were expecting me to have ever forgotten that tweet ND made about Catra going through all nine of her lives over the course of She-ra and Adora healing her to reset them, then you’re wrong. In a way, this entire AU is ND’s fault. Did you think about that. I have No Responsibility for this.

⦁ Entrapta’s “nerd merchandise” is a premier ball from pokemon because for some reason that was the only thing I could picture for it. It’s not even a regular pokeball I don’t know why!! But that’s what they use.

⦁ Catra technically has binocular vision dysfunction in this due to her right eye being a little out of sync from her left.

⦁ Time paradox is, of course, a portal reference.

⦁ Entrapta’s blanket used to fall off her lap when she was working, which is how it ended up under the table the first few times, and then she noticed Catra balling up there and started leaving it there on purpose, even washing and rearranging it.

⦁ Entrapta’s room is always hot because of the equipment in it and the heat output from her computer and stuff. Luckily, all three occupants of the apartment like it when it’s warm.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Catra watching ice melt is a Booker reference. I love you Booker. But also a euphemism like “watching paint dry,” “watching grass grow,” etc.

⦁ The nightmares weren’t in the initial concept for the fic, but Entrapta helping Catra out with her “condition” was and I found they were a good way to showcase the backstory without actually showing flashbacks or having an entire prologue chapter of trauma after trauma that just would have felt miserable and spoiled everything.

⦁ Catra’s job isn’t necessarily real but is also heavily based on real things. Basically universities sometimes have special collections, archives, etc that are typically “open” during regular work hours, but only by appointment. They might have their own staff or just the librarians see to them. For this fic I basically made up something that might be real, where BMU also allows appointments after hours, but only from grad students, and then professors can come in after hours (or during hours) without appointment as long as there’s staff present. And of course they get away with that by hiring someone cheap so it doesn’t cost them a lot extra to keep it open. Catra has been paid more by other jobs, but she likes this one way better, and she doesn’t have a ton of money pressure living with Scorpia and Entrapta, so she’s planning to keep it. This is also heavily based on one of my first jobs where I did something similar for a university but it had nothing to do with collections or the library. Catra works the same hours I did then.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Bow would have offered Catra his own bed if he thought she would have taken it, but Entrapta — and Catra’s own reactions — made it pretty clear that she was going to make herself difficult to help, so he thought the couch might seem “less pitying,” but he didn’t account for the Adora factor. Everybody forgets about the Adora factor.

⦁ Scorpia mentioning “six years” immediately solidified in Adora’s subconscious that Catra’s injury was from the fall, which is why she jumped to saying she watched it happen. It didn’t even occur to Adora that Catra’s paralysis could have come from something other than the fall until she was in bed like two days later and thought, oh fuck, there could have been something worse.

⦁ Sneaking onto the school roof is the exact kind of shit Catra and Adora would do together, but since she was going up there to have A Moment™️ about one of her deaths, Catra wanted to be alone. It felt like this dark secret that she was harboring and would ruin her life at any moment.

Interlude:

⦁ “It helps a lot even without her talking back or looking at me” yeah sometimes Entrapta is listening and sometimes she isn’t even aware Scorpia is there. Scorpia can unload her whole problem, talk herself through a solution, say “Thanks!”, and then only after she has marched herself out of the room will Entrapta realize she has left and throw a goodbye through the door, still not looking away from her screens. The first time Catra witnesses this she immediately gets a clear picture of the apartment dynamic.

⦁ Catra wouldn’t say her name because it was part of her paranoia over being hunted down somehow.

⦁ “Maybe Scorpia isn’t used to people not immediately loving her.” Yeah could not be further from the truth she was kind of bullied in school, that’s how she and Entrapta became friends, because they were both bad at social cues and stuck together.

⦁ Obviously, Entrapta didn’t mean anything by her questions. When you don’t realize other people would treat someone differently over something, it can seem like innocent curiosity to ask about it. She learned very quickly after meeting Catra that those kinds of things have limits, it just wasn’t something that had come up in her life before and she hadn’t inferred it.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Honestly Adora had to have Mara as family to support her because any less and she might not have made it to be at all together after everything she thought happened with Catra.

⦁ Catra does wear her arm brace in other scenarios — when she’s going to be doing physical activity, for instance, though she might opt for a sling instead/in addition — but as far as wearing it while in the apartment, sleeping like that is the only one. The difficulty of putting it on by herself — and the pain of getting help — are why she almost never uses it, even though it would work for some (but not all) of the things the sling works for, and be less obtrusive too. That’s why Adora being able to help with it later is so helpful.

Chapter 5:

⦁ The thing Adora knows that Catra doesn’t is that she’s absolutely going to break and come back home with her, even if the driving thing was more up in the air.

⦁ I went back and forth on the language to use around Catra’s ears, specifically whether to refer to them as a pair or only reference her single fully-functional one. Ultimately I decided that Catra’s internal dialog would still think of it as her ears pinning back even if only one moves (at all for small movements, or all the way for larger). She spent her entire life thinking of them as a pair, and she can’t feel one not reacting, she just doesn’t feel anything over there, so she defaults to how she used to consider them unless she’s like, looking in the mirror and can see only one move. When it comes to other people addressing them, they see just one ear reacting for the most part and tend to refer to them singularly.

Chapter 6:

⦁ Scorpia got Adora’s number at the same event that she told her about arm-hugs, mostly to puff herself up when she realized Adora could pet Catra, however carefully.

⦁ Scorpia’s pillow said “Not to spoil the ending, but everything is going to be ok” which just irritated Catra every time she saw it, so she hid it. She can’t throw it out because Scorpia’s moms are the ones who got it, but she can do her damnedest to never see it again. It mysteriously reappears when Scorpia is moving out so she can take the dumb thing with her.

⦁ Like every chapter I had a scene that I was like “this is the most fun to write, I love this so much” (which like… really awesome from a writing perspective!) and the cuddling scene was that one for this chapter. I thought it was going to be the phone call, but Adora’s determination to cuddle, her diagram, and Catra’s fluster were just so fun to work with.

Chapter 7:

⦁ Mara calls her loved ones dear because Razz always called her dearie.

⦁ Mara and Adora went all-in on the driving thing because they know Catra well and knows she needs an excuse, or at least an extra push, whenever it comes to emotional stuff like coming home.

⦁ Originally the phone calls were outlined to be one singular phone call, with Catra eventually getting comfortable enough to turn on the video as the call went on, but spreading it out made a little more sense. In the version where it was all one call, though, Catra admitted that she didn’t want them to see her face paralyzed and Adora asked Mara to tell Catra that she didn’t care about her ear. Another reason I cut it is because I decided Catra wasn’t self-conscious about that aspect of her injury.

⦁ Entrapta is thorough. There were two-three months there were she was tracking and timing just about every single thing Catra did inside the apartment. She had monitoring devices she didn’t realize her roommates would want to know about because it just seemed more effective to her than following Catra around all day. Her presence would have skewed the experiment. It’s creepy, but it all came from a place of love and wanting to build a better understanding of what could be effecting Catra’s situation.

⦁ The restraint it took for me to not make a joke about Entrapta knowing when Catra… “takes time for herself” was immense but I kept reminding myself it was a T fic.

⦁ “I was there two months ago” Ha, yeah, this is set in December and… The anniversary……. Adora needed to be home. Her moms are the only ones who can really comfort her when she’s like that.

⦁ Mara really wanted a kid, and Hope did too but less so, and she had a lot more Concerns about it. When they started looking into adoption and found a kid who was human (so Hope was confident they were informed on taking care of her) and had been an orphan for ten years, Mara couldn’t stand to leave her there. They hadn’t really been intending on getting an older kid (I mean, ten is not old, but in Hope’s head they were looking for a baby because typically you Acquire Child at babyhood so that must be how it works) but Adora being older was another thing that made Hope go okay, we can do this (she’s also, to be quite honest, not a fan of babies or very small children). What that meant in the end though was that Mara, in her older twenties, had much less of an age gap with Adora then would be typical. Hope is like six years older and so her age gap with Adora is less noticeably off.

I think it’s a faceblind thing, but I’m absolutely awful with ages. You could tell me Mara is supposed to be early 20s or late 30s and I would have no choice believe you. Regardless, I roughly place Mara somewhere around the 20-30 mark in the show and as having a more “big sister”-like relationship with Adora, so that’s how things got set up in this AU.

⦁ It’s “Bow’s” senior year because Glimmer is a year younger and Adora’s college education was kind of weird so she doesn’t really consider herself as having anything but a freshmen year. Maybe sophmore.

Chapter 8:

⦁ Catra has two bags while Adora has one for two reasons: 1) Adora still has some stuff at home and doesn’t need to bring as much, and 2) Catra’s second bag was mostly dedicated to her adaptive devices and hybrid shit since she knew she might need them for any stuff Adora wanted to do and she couldn’t borrow the shampoo already at the house.

⦁ Perfuma’s nature hike actually originated in this chapter and then I added it in to chapter 6 since I was far enough ahead in writing to do that. Before that the vibe was just “Well obviously Scorpia got Adora’s number from Perfuma at some point,” but this gave a more solid throughline on that. Their interaction at the nature hike is also what led to Scorpia starting to turn around on Adora until she tested her with the phone call.

⦁ The “look” that passed over Adora’s face when Catra joked that she didn’t remember getting tangled in the ribbon was her briefly worrying that Catra actually didn’t remember due to her supposed memory issues following the fall.

⦁ The school where Catra fell is loosely based on the random high school I took my SATs at, where it was actually four buildings with a courtyard and a quad between the buildings and various sports fields. Adora was walking on one of the paths circling one of the buildings when she saw Catra fall from the roof of another.

⦁ Adora mentions hospitals plural because she checked every single one it was even semi-plausible for Catra to be taken to, though there was only one that made sense since it was more than twenty minutes closer than the next one.

⦁ Adora has her childhood twin bed at home and at the apartment Catra has a double bed to give her enough room to comfortably position her arm without worry. It also helps when she does have a nightmare bad enough for her to move around, and when she’s having a day where her fear of falling is intense. She can tuck into the corner between the bed and the wall and know there’s no way she’s going over the edge.

⦁ This fic was supposed to be set nebulously in the fall until I had the Winterfest ideas and lined everything up to make it happen. It still worked out with it starting literally right after Catra’s birthday, but I went back and edited in a line referring to it later so it would build the time of year out better before it got to the Winterfest stuff. Of course, that only matters if you reread chapter 2 after I did it or started reading the fic later on, but it’s there for rereads, at least. It’s one of those unique things about fanfic and how you (typically) post it as you write it, which doesn’t allow for much in the way of second drafts. I really like that about fanfic because of how it forces you to work the limitation (and also I hate rewriting), but I always have more ideas while I’m writing so sometimes it can get in the way of something good.

⦁ The original title of this fic was “As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You Again)” but at some point between creating the document and posting the “Again” got dropped. This isn’t relevant to chapter 8, I just happened to notice it while typing the notes for it.

Chapter 9:

⦁ There was a lot more stuff about Catra learning to drive in this chapter initially, but I wasn’t happy with it and found I was skipping right past it when I was trying to reread/edit what was going on in the chapter, so for the final version I cut it. Some things though: Catra’s entire first day of driving didn’t even involve leaving park, it was mostly spent on figuring out how to manage her arm (in the end, putting it in the arm brace was the best way to keep it still and out of the way, even though that was difficult with Adora helping her instead of Entrapta) and stuff like hitting the turn signal with her pinky while turning the wheel. The first day where they actually drove in the street Adora came along — just for fun and not in case you have a panic attack, promise! — but was sworn to being silent in the backseat. That lasted until Mara said Catra was learning faster than Adora did.

⦁ Adora’s not a bad driver, she’s just an anxious one, partially due to Catra’s accident making her all too aware of the dangers. She spent high school watching Catra deal with her paralysis which supposedly came from the car accident, after all, so she tends to be a meek driver.

⦁ When Catra sees things she wasn’t able to IRL in her dreams, like when she sees parts of the incidents that she was actually dead/unconscious for… sometimes that’s accurate. And that’s all I’ll say.

⦁ The dent stuff… with the bumper… might or might not have been inspired by the movie Underdog……… It’s a very comedic origin for something that is so traumatic in the fic but like. I saw that movie as a kid and never forgot that part.

⦁ Entrapta 100% hacked the DMV and canceled someone else’s permit test so Catra could be fit in immediately, she just didn’t tell Catra that. Not that she’s hiding it, exactly, but volunteering that information? No.

⦁ Oh that phone call from Adora’s perspective. Adora basically didn’t know shit about what they did in the logs. She was horrified by what Catra described, but also a little confused, and maybe even put out. Catra had never told her even half the details it was clear Entrapta knew off the top of her head, and she made it sound like it was all very clear and she remembered every second of what she was awake for. Which, well, she did. Because her body was totally fine. Adora was ruffled by Entrapta’s “bedside manner”, and then she heard the hacking stuff which had her like, wait, what? because Catra had mentioned Entrapta was a professional white hat hacker before (sometimes. Sometimes black hat. Sometimes she does other stuff and invents a new programming language) but the whole “instantly pulling up results from the DMV thing” threw her. She was very attentive when Entrapta was running diagnostics and stuff because she didn’t know about things like Catra still being able to slightly twitch her fingers or shoulder sometimes.

⦁ Catra specifies not mocking Scorpia during romcoms because there is no way, ever, no matter what she owes, that she won’t make fun of the dumb romance movie stuff that happens, especially het nonsense when that applies.

⦁ Catra’s fosters did get her “Winterfest gifts” but they were things like clothes and school supplies she would need anyway, just maybe a little nicer or at least less generic than usual.

⦁ Time to talk about what everybody thought happened to Catra! Obviously, people at school decided Catra had died within the first few weeks. At that time, Adora decided Catra must be in a coma or suffering memory loss, maybe awake but not lucid. She thought Catra’s condition being unstable might be why no one would talk to her, but she told herself she couldn’t be dead because then they would just say that. The longer it went with everyone remaining tight-lipped, however, the worse things Adora began to believe. About a year in, she came to “accept” that Catra was dead — outright, or brain dead even if her body was still breathing. Mara and Hope also didn’t know why anyone would “cover up” what was supposedly a very public suicide, so they also believed Catra “survived,” but knowing how far she fell and how bad it must have been, they knew pretty much right away she was likely to be brain dead or not remember anything. They didn’t really ever say what they thought, though, mostly focusing on comforting Adora when she went through disaster scenarios and occasionally reluctantly admitting which they thought was most likely when she got too frantic to be calmed by anything but an answer. Each member of the trio had a different opinion (each of which was an option that everyone else had considered individually): Kyle believed Catra was severely injured and sent away to a rehab facility to recover and perhaps help her overcome her “suicidal tendencies” but was basically cut off from them by the system, Rogelio believed she was in a coma and if she ever woke suffered memory loss (explaining why she never contacted them), and Lonnie thought that she was straight up brain dead before they eventually pulled the plug. Catra’s foster parents, knowing she had run from the hospital, thought she was dead in a ditch somewhere and after a few months decided they were just never informed when she was found.

⦁ Yes it’s late for chestnut season. No I do not care. Chestnut season is a few weeks later in Etheria, okay.

⦁ Both Mara and Hope cook usually, but around holidays Mara takes charge and it’s family recipes 24/7. Mara probably would have baked a pie for the final day of Winterfest anyway, but it wouldn’t have been that one. That one is the most special.

Chapter 10:

⦁ Even if Catra didn’t need her hand for the VR game, Bow’s headset wouldn’t have fit over her ears. There are headsets that would work, just not the one Bow built. It wasn’t a concern for him at the time.

⦁ Glimmer is terrified of horror games for herself, but she seems to forget that literally every time and is always really excited to play, just remembering the adrenaline rush and thinking this time she’ll redeem herself and be totally cool and composed.

⦁ The horror game was going to be the latest Resident Evil DLC (for the Village? I think? Or like the sequel?) but then I was like damn. I don’t know if that’s in VR. But it was literally the only horror game I could think of at the moment despite liking (let’s plays) of them, so I kind of co-opted and mangled the mom-mannequin-dolls section of that.

⦁ The Star siblings were actually at the barbecue in my first draft but it made the scene too crowded when half the attendees already didn’t have speaking roles.

⦁ I kept trying to figure out where to fit in Adora’s school shit and it just never didn’t slow the scene down. I’m not sure it doesn’t here, either, but somewhere in the fic proper I wanted to mention why Adora and Catra never bumped into each other on campus. I had already decided Adora’s school worked out this way before I decided on Catra’s job, but that just made it relevant. Basically, Adora came to Bright Moon intending to get a four year degree and then go into nursing. Mara and Hope were supportive, but a little insistent she go to a four-year instead of a community college for nursing because then she could explore more. They just didn’t want her to fall too into the martyr shit without them there as a support system, but Adora thought they were lowkey hoping she’d change her mind and decide to become a doctor instead of “just” a nurse. Adora was roommates with Glimmer freshmen year and met a few of their eventual friend group there, which she always says made it all worth it, but university was a disaster for her. She would have rather drop dead from exhaustion than drop out, but that was looking increasingly likely as her mental health combined with ADHD to make her a disaster. Her grades weren’t good, she spent time crying in the study rooms at the library, it was a mess. Eventually Glimmer called Mara to make sure she knew just how bad it was for Adora since she knew by then she would play it down. They’d only been friends for a few months and she was definitely overstepping, but Adora’s moms made her talk it out and they decided she would transfer to Bright Moon’s community college, where she could take one less class a semester and graduate with what she needed after only three years of school overall. Adora still kind of felt like a failure, but Glimmer just happened to decide at the same time that the dorms were insufferable and hey, we know we make good roommates already, why don’t we get an apartment between our campuses together? And living with Glimmer meant seeing Bow a lot too, so Adora didn’t have to “lose” the two good friends she had made at uni so far when she left (something she was really worried about). Glimmer and Bow wouldn’t let her hide in a shame corner over “not being cut out for it” either so she still saw their other friends from campus and even made more via mutual friends, eventually ending up with their current friend group, the exceptions being the Star Siblings (from community college), Frosta (from across the streets), and Netossa/Spinnerella (from work, Adora met Netossa during the course of her med studies).

⦁ Adora spent like an hour agonizing over her outfit and asking Glimmer for help, insisting it was just because she wanted to look nice for her birthday and not because she was thinking of putting the moves on someone or wanted to impress them. She undid the top two buttons, and then Glimmer undid two more and called it perfect.

⦁ Hey, guess what, this chapter was supposed to cover twice as much as it did (shocker) and then they took too long making out (shocker) ¯_(ツ)_/¯ This is where I had to update the chapter count AGAIN and when I did that I went back and filled out the scene during the party, which was only written in summary until that point, because apparently I had the fucking room for it in that chapter since the real confession clearly wasn’t happening.

Chapter 11:

⦁ Entrapta is playing Monster Hunter in the first scene, because I’ve had single monster fights last 40 fucking minutes in that game before. I was actually going to make it vaguely be like, a Souls game or something, but then I was like no, Monster Hunter is more her speed, leading to the jokes about how long the fight is.

⦁ Catra’s arm pain is both psychological and magic. Obviously the mechanics of how it hurts without her having any feeling are magic, but the pain comes from her mental state. The more comfortable she is with someone’s touch and the more she trusts them, the less it hurts. It also ties to her general emotional turmoil, which is why it’s still bad when she remembers stressful things, when waking up from a nightmare, etc and why it caused her such pain that first moment Adora touched her.

⦁ Tapetum lucidum is the thing that makes cats eyes glow in the dark (among other creatures) when hit correctly with light. Melog’s was not being hit correctly with light. I refuse to explain Melog.

⦁ The start of Catra’s speech was once the start of the fic, but instead of her telling it to someone, it was just the narration (“It all starts when Catra is eleven and decides to run away to find Adora, but she doesn’t understand it until later. Actually, she never understands it, but the first death she could pretend was a fluke.”). When I had this idea, I started just kind of writing with the idea of well, let me do a few paragraphs on each death and see how I feel about that. I had a few false starts, and then I wrote that beginning bit of Catra’s speech, and then it cut to a new scene to talk about the car. That paragraph ended up being heavily edited down and used in the scene in chapter 9 where she talks about the nightmare. I decided to change direction on that because 1) it wasn’t good, 2) it was wallowing, and 3) I wasn’t actually intending to start the fic that way anyway, it was just so much in its infancy that I was testing some stuff out to see what the backstory was and where I wanted to take it. Because of that false start, though, I then had trouble tracking what had been revealed/implied throughout the fic when it came to the later-revealed deaths and their fallout.

Chapter 12:

⦁ Adora lowkey moved in on a temporary basis, she just needed to be around Catra very badly between the new couple and “died four times” things. She did end up going back to (mostly) sleeping at her place and Glimmer and Bow were very insistent on them spending time together too when she relaxed again.

⦁ I didn’t want to do anything above a T rating with this fic, really, but I did kind of want to make allusions to other ways disability can effect intimacy, hence the allusions to Catra needing toy assistance since her left hand just can’t manage it and her insecurities about “contributing” when it’s time.

⦁ Catra’s ability was so unbelievable and confusing that it wasn’t the kind of thing Adora could just instantly accept as fact and help her work through, so a “trailing” ending was necessary to show Adora coming to that place of total belief with time, and trying hard to support Catra while she did so. And of course I wanted them to get time being totally honest with each other. I had a lot of the ideas for the Scorpia stuff and such that I thought would just be in the “epilogue” part of the fic notes, but then I went no, you know what, this is Important to how I envision the end here, so I made it an actual part of the fic, similarly to how I did the third fic in the Greys/Waiting For My Spaceship To Come Back For Me series. Why am I mentioning that here? Because all of the epilogue stuff was supposed to be part of chapter 12 too and then of course that didn’t work out. And I had to update the chapter count. Again.

⦁ It was really important to me that Catra’s disability didn’t magically get better. The only thing that changed was it caused her less pain, and even that is person-dependent. Her muscle response gets slightly better — sometimes — but that isn’t enough to hold a pen or be useful. There are temporary disabilities, of course, but that wasn’t the kind I was trying to show here and a disability doesn’t have to “go away” to get a happy ending. Catra’s happy ending was finding peace and love despite the things that haunt her, and she can have all that while still being disabled, she can just get hugs from at least one person now. The original outline had a point where Catra began kneading with both hands while cuddling with Adora around when she told her the truth, but I decided that was too much of a miraculous recovery. Even the sudden squeezing of the ball was something I was iffy on, but that was truly a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so I kept it and portrayed it as such, editing the kneading thing down to just twitching, because I did think it was cute.

Chapter 13:

⦁ WAILMER PAIL

⦁ I know I’ve talked a lot about how this fic ballooned, but I haven’t had fun on a project like I did this one, and Hurricane Adora, and the other smaller fics I’ve done recently, in a long time. Let Me Ride too, to a lesser degree, but I haven’t really had a project just flow out and build like this in the last year. The big difference on those last two was I just… did what I wanted. Which I know sounds obvious, but I didn’t sit and try to plot out okay, what is the whole arc for this fic going to be, what do I need to get done to get there. I did that a decent amount of Let Me Ride, which is why it’s a halfway fic here (and look at that, written slower than the others), but for these two I went well, they’re short fics, I don’t need to worry about that stuff and I can just let loose. And then neither ended up anywhere near where I thought they would, and I had an absolute blast. It’s hard to describe, but I just had a lot of fun and felt very liberated with my fics recently. I think I was treating them too much like novels, if that makes sense, and honestly the word count speaks for itself. I wrote less in November AND December combined than I did in January alone (working on LMR + oneshots), and that’s half as much as I’ve written for March alone (February being closer to March’s word count). I had my 4th highest ever word count day (since I started recording them in 2021) on this project at over 8k (for those curious, my highest ever was 12k the day I pumped out most of MNoHL in one sitting). Anyway, it ran away from me, but I was more than happy to go along on the ride, even if the fic notes alone are 7k.

Adora Interludes:

So, this fic was entirely from Catra’s perspective. Which was for three reasons: 1) Adora’s POV has no place in the first two chapters so at that point I was pretty committed, 2) she’s the most interesting POV by far for this fic, and 3) I thought this fic would be short. I don’t normally do long fics from just one character’s perspective, and you’re about to see why, but I thought it was only going to be 20k which was a fine amount for one POV. The longest fic I’ve done from one perspective before this was ASDLM, depending how you want to count it, and even then I included five fucking interludes of Adora’s POV. I don’t usually use one character POV since I find it interesting to go back and forth, but also, it’s so hard to stick to one POV. The reunion happened and I wanted to write Adora talking to Glimbow that night! Catra has her panic attack and I want to write out what Adora is thinking! But it doesn’t fit with the fic. So sometimes I did it anyway. None of these were fully written and polished and were more just me tracking where Adora was at with the big stuff, but I wanted to at least talk about them a little and they didn’t fit anywhere else in the fic notes. I just played it out in my head, sometimes, but I ended up writing down some rough scene outlines with intersperses of actual writing for:

Adora telling Glimmer and Bow everything Catra told her the night after she leaves. Glimmer starts off a little unsure of if they should be mad at Catra or not for never telling Adora she was alive, but eventually she “accepts” it (though she remains cautious of Catra for a few weeks).

Adora’s next call with her therapist, dumping the story onto her and talking a little about the guilt thing.

I don’t think I ever wrote anything down for the convo Adora had with her parents where she told them the story, but I sure thought about it a fucking lot.

Adora having a conversation with Hope over the break, while Catra and Mara are out driving. I would go into more detail, but there was a line that was originally drafted in a previous scene with Adora and Catra that didn’t end up happening, and then I put it in this scene that also wasn’t “real,” so…. At this point I’m just fucking sharing it. Because why not. The scene will be up tomorrow as a fic extra and linked in the meta section. Note that it is a detailed outline and NOT real writing, but I like it and can’t imagine just deleting it once this fic is done, so I’ll just post it here for anyone interested.

Original Outline:

I talked so much shit about the chapter count for this fic and it came back to haunt me. Here’s the thing: my initial chapter count wasn’t that wrong, which I know sounds insane when it was only like 5, but the contents for the fic I was imagining then did take up about 5 chapters. The intro, getting to the party, reintroduction, getting to know each other again, and then getting comfortable and confession.

The first two of those went exactly as I pictured. While I was writing chapter 3, though, the reintroduction went on longer than I imagined just because there was a lot to cover to do it right and it ended up taking up an entire chapter. Around then I started getting so many more ideas for the story. Initially it was supposed to be like, a nightmare/death per chapter, but then I started thinking about Adora telling her parents, and Catra going back home to visit them, and around then was when I accepted the vision for the fic expanded and bumped it to eight-ish with the vision that the visit would take two of those chapters roughly and another chapter would be fitted in for more bonding/growing closer before the confession.

Then I sat down and actually started doing my, like, one sentence outlines for scenes ([phone convo with Mara, rejects facetime], [entrapta/netossa collab], etc) and realized ohhhhh god this is more than three additional chapters worth of material. And maybe I always suspected that, because when I added more chapter headings to the document, I bumped it up to ten rather than eight. I had a detailed outline up to chapter nine, and by the time I was actually writing that far I was like this is going to be fucking eleven chapters isn’t it… but I was still unsure where it was going to fall in the 10-12 range. The epilogue was, once again, an addition, though a necessary one in my opinion, but those ideas weren’t part of the 10-12 chapter estimate.

I didn’t really have a strong vision for how the end was going to go until I got there, so the only thing about the final part of the fic that is different from the “original outline” is the remote log during the visit home (initially that was supposed to happen in person on a night when Adora slept over after they got back, but that just made less sense) and how they ran into the trio. My very initial idea for that was them driving (Catra driving, Adora teaching her, probably later on in the trip when maybe it isn’t all on Mara) and they drive past the trio walking on the sidewalk of a neighborhood and Catra nearly has a panic attack. Adora steers her through parking on the side of the road (ahead of where the trio are walking) and Catra gets ahold of herself as Adora glances back through the back window to see the trio eyeing the car, because they just saw it park a little erratically, and then they realize Adora is in the car. They can just barely see eartips around the headrest for Catra but can’t make much out.

They then watch Adora get out, wave to them sheepishly, make a motion for them to stay where they are, and then she walks around to the street side and opens up the backseat to get out the sling. This was before I had thought about anything and realized the arm brace was probably the best call for driving. Adora then opens Catra’s door, helps her put on the sling while still sitting in the driver’s seat, and holds her hand to help pull her to her feet out of the car, finally letting them see her. This made the conversation more of Catra’s choice, but when I pictured the whole exchange on the sidewalk, I had no intention of it actually being part of the fic. At that point, I hadn’t even decided if the Winterfest stuff was going to be part of it. But once I started writing that stuff, I decided the trio had to be in it too and switched it around to a run-in that made a little more sense and actually furthered Catra’s progression.

Meta:

Interlude: Three Years Ago

Fic Extra #2: Adora’s Interlude: A Conversation with Hope

Fic Extra #3: Timeline

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Upcoming

I had a plan for what fic was going to be next. Then another fic idea solidified and it was going to be that one. Then I had a new, but also returning, idea. What I’m saying is, I’m indecisive, but for the last month one AU in particular has been calling, and it’s honestly shocking I haven’t done it yet because I’m me and it's, well…

Up next is Superzero.

#amlait #ficmeta #fic notes

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vole-mon-amour · 1 year

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3x11, part 4. RJK edition.

Roy, it's impolite to stare. So Jamie has both daddy and mommy issues, I guess? Being babbying like that. The things this can be turned into with Roy (x Keeley?) Seriously, take him under your wing and tell him he's a good boy, and he's loved, and he can always come to you with his worries.

I get it though. It does look weird. On the other hand, maybe it's great when you're a grown ass adult and you can come to your parents and feel safe like that and share stuff. I just know that if I did this with my dad, it would look incredibly weird (and I wouldn't do it bc the idea weirds me out).

Everything is NOT fine.

Yeah.

Honestly, how much does she know? And if she knows everything, why was the abuse allowed? Why wasn't Jamie protected from it, especially as an adult, when he could take his life back and his mom could support him?

I know it's deeply rooted. I know it's hard. I know. And yet.

For how long has Jamie been depressed now? Even in Amsterdam when he was having the time of his life with Roy and laughing, but then got into trauma sharing and was unsure if Roy trained him for him or for the entire team.

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this. I definitely need to process this, wow. The inability to feel, especially good things, to love, but also loving and stopping yourself from feel, from allowing yourself to feel like you deserve that love and your feelings being reciprocated. This hits really close to home.

You're telling me Jamie isn't bisexual? For real? It's SCREAMING bisexual. The fact that Jamie is friends with BOTH of them now. Hello!!! Ot3 endgame when!!!

This. I only wish Jamie a partner who sees this as well and tell him and supports him through it. And potentially, we've goth those people in his childhood bedroom right now.

Just like Phil said, it's not straightforward.

Mother love.

I find it very curious that Roy keeps repeating Jamie's full name. Why? Is that such an alien concept, being concerned about Jamie and caring for him?

I'm sorry, how do you see this? You've had sex (????) after you told her that you love her. But then you're "friends"? After you dated and broke up? And we haven't seen them talking it through. Did they decide that after they had sex they're better off as friends??? This is so confusing.

And Jamie keeps quiet about what he saw, and then the look he shares with Roy. And the posters than he knows they saw, and probably can understand on how Jamie feels about both of them if they're not idiots (but it feels like they are sometimes.) Jamie deserves better. Jamie deserves to have a full on conversation about what's going on between all of them and all the feelings he has for them and they for him. And the conversation should've happened a LONG time ago.

Sure, I don't want Jamie with other people. I have a ship or two & I ship it. But I also want Jamie to be happy with these people. Happy and understood. I want them to communicate. I want Jamie to not feel like he's third-wheeling and like he doesn't deserve their love and doesn't deserve all the chances to be happy and feel all that love for them and from them.

He's my fav character. He deserves the absolute world.

#natiswatching #roy x jamie x keeley #jamie tartt

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takerfoxx · 6 months

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Well, I just got some interesting news that I can't really discuss my real feelings with in real life, so I guess it's time for some really bitter trauma dumping.

So, um, I don't know how many of you remember, but there was a little incident a few years back where, after living with my cousin and his girlfriend for about three years, they asked me to move out so they could have more "privacy as a couple," which basically meant tht they were having issues again and thought that having me leave might help make things easier on them, despite them being the ones who had reached to me to ask me to move in with them. Due to a number of other factors, not the least being that this was the third time my roommates had done something similar and the second time of it being due to a couple doing what they felt was best for them and leaving me holding the bag, this caused me to have something of a mental health collapse, and I've been struggling with anxiety and, as I just figured out, depression ever since! And yeah, there were a lot of other things happening that contributed to that,

But here's the thing: the first couple to do that, who were my best friends, ended up divorcing a couple years later. And apparently, it got ugly.

And as I recently found out, my cousin and his girlfriend ended up breaking up just the other week, and from all accounts, it was volatile.

So you can imagine that I have a lot to process. Like, what the hell am I even supposed to feel? On the one hand, I feel awful for my cousin, since I know he cared a lot about her. On the other, I've been mad at him for two years now because of everything that's happened (basically, a few weeks before he asked me to leave, I had talked to him about them having treated me like more of a guest than a resident for a while now, and he reassured me that it wasn't the case, that he did want me to feel like that was my home, and that it wasn't, and I quote, me versus the couple, only for him to drop this on me a very short time after), so there's that. And it also means that I went through that whole hellish experience, had to throw away seven years of my life, and have it all be for nothing. But at the same time, it also weirdly feels like there's this weight taken off my shoulders? Like, something inside me that got turned off when everything went down has suddenly turned back on again? Which sounds awful, but it is something that I've noticed.

I don't know. It's a mess. But mainly what I've come away with from all of this is that my whole life seems to have been spent getting caught up in other people's relationships, from my parents to my siblings to my friends to other members of my family, getting stuck in their drama, sometimes literally getting sacrificed by the couple in hopes of salvaging things, only for it all to end badly anyway. And every time I've been expected to just take it.

You know, these last few months I've been reconsidering how I feel about being aromantic, as the downside is that I've spent so much time being the third wheel and always ended up as the one left behind, but in light of all this? Fuck it. I'm so glad I'm aromantic. This shit isn't worth it.

Anyway, sorry about the angry venting. I just needed to get it out of my system.

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katyspersonal · 7 months

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Ok ok ok I'll stop talking about PG TV shows I promise, but I've watched some more episodes of Miraculous' 5th season and I am glad I continued despite the Headache Episode TM

- I actually really like how much their writing progressed in terms of psychology? Like you guys know I absolutely love this shit, aside of Thomas having the first recorded case of abusing a fictional character (Chloe) the characters are now written so much more interesting? And themes addressed are much deeper? I am just hooked all the time?? Like, are you ever just absolutely GLUED to characters simply thinking and having problems and personalities, even when nothing is actually happening?

- I guessed that Zoe actually had a crush on Marinette instantly, before anything actually gave it away xd That was really cute

- Damn I spilled my tea at the Felix episode :т Fuckin' RED MOON. Not only it was really cool and beautiful, but I also can never see red moon normally because iS tHiS bB rEfErEnCe???? fshshd But in general, I love where they are going with Felix's personality and motivation.

- Okay sorry I am still angry at retconning Marinette's stalkery obssessive traits as "trust issues over trauma Chloe caused to her", because it just doesn't work since.....

well, she WAS dating Luca despite not having learned every single thing about him including personal private life prior -_-" So where did the "I will never love anyone unless I know everything about them" go? They are not even trying sometimes т.т This is what happens when you are so desperate to yassify your flawed OC that you neglect previous events that contradict it :smh:

- THE SCENE WHERE GABRIEL TRIED TO BE ALL "IT IS REAL LIFE KID" TO MARINETTE ABOUT HER dream to become clothes designed and attempted to blackmail her and then she went against his demands AND ALSO COMPLETELY TRASHED HIS FUCKING PANCAKES FSHFDJHGHSFD IT WAS SO SATISFYING TO SEE FHSDHDGHSDF THANK YOU MARINETTE

- Again, spilled my tea when Lila's mother appeared to be mute because I could clearly remember she was talking,... then I realized she looked very different, so I realized Lila had two mothers.

- I also thought of something after Adrien mentioned to Gabriel that him and mom were also "different", like him and Marinette are 🤔 I thought 'damn, now Kagami is third-wheeling Adrien and Marinette in the exact same way as how Natalie used to third-wheel Gabriel and Emilie 🤔' ...and then Felix appeared to hit on Kagami, so I guess not fdshfhdhdsdfs I did think of a smart parallel, though.

Okay, just 7 more episodes of season 5 to go

#watch log #miraculous ladybug #me: nooo I can't talk about PG TV show in my mostly-soulsborne blog #fantomette who's been discussing owl house while it lasted: smells like weakness #dshfhdhsd look look I know it is my blog blablabla all that #I just feel awkward because of the CONTRAST #like I discuss bloody rituals and monsters made of 10000 corpses of the innocent and religion and monstrous mutations and aliens #and then suddenly BAM a cute cartoon show #like blogger like consistency fsdhfhds

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tehriel · 1 year

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Terzo x reader

A snippet of my first chapter

No warnings needed for this, a little spicier in later chapters. Slow burn, lots of character interaction.

Reader insert is a commission painter, little murder, little intrigue. Ghouls. Fun.

Ps. I don't speak Italian, google translate take the wheel.

“You can speak, you know?” You said after a while, as the stench of oil paint streamed out the church’s window and into the warm of early autumn. The set was then together with satin drapery in the background, golds and purples to compliment Papa’s robes and a gathering of ornate trinkets you found might be interesting to paint. Basket of apples on a pedestal for temptation, fig leaves, Adam, Eve, interesting goat statue. But Papa had started fidgeting, they alway did. Especially someone who is as strangely pent up as Papa. “I'm only sketching in shapes, expression comes in much later, I've got basics for the skull and hand. You can rest them for now, if you'd like.”

“I see,” he said quietly, setting down the skull and stretching his hand to rest on the arm rest. “So uh, hmm, what got you into painting, caro Pittore?”

Caro Pittore, he’d said it enough you googled it while setting up, ‘dear Painter’ in masculine. The man had game, and still, you couldn't bring yourself to ask him to stop on that front.

You gave a soft sigh, pretty much everyone asked that question, “I don't really have an exciting plot for you, Storyteller, same as anyone got their job, except for maybe you, is that a lineage…?” you raised a finger to stop yourself. “What would be more fun, and something I've done with clients before, we play a game of assumptions. You only get to meet a person for the first time once in your life. Why ruin the surprise with real answers? Life is so boring. Tell me, who do you think I am, or shall I start with you?”

A glint blossomed in his eye just long enough for you to catch it in your piece, just a sketch, it could get lost in the layers but for now, it was there. “Please, Pittore, it’s your game, show me how it is played.”

“Let’s see,” you turned your head this way, then that, sizing him up. “When you were four, your best friend was a goat. You were of course born within the church and so goats are very friendly faces to you.” A smile cracked over his face, “his name was Stanley.”

“Stanley the fucking goat? From Italy, huh?”

“Why are you laughing at his name? He was your best friend! Goats don’t live as long as you are old, so may he ever Rest In Peace.”

“Old, huh? Shit, we can't be more than ten years apart.”

“If I'm honest I cannot tell, your makeup makes it completely ambiguous. Your turn.”

“Okay, uh, you said you've painted for churches before, you grew up religious, si?”

“The detective work!” You leaned into it with a surprised look.

“Boarding school, horrible catholic nuns, you saw through the dogma but to this day some sexual acts are too taboo for you to even consider… or did it entirely push you in the other direction, huh?”

“Yes, I am still scared of nuns, her name was sister Josie and she liked hitting kids with rulers entirely too much,” you said very seriously.

“How close was I, caro Pittore?”

“Somewhere between very close and not even in the ballpark.” You laughed back, “is that a back story or a personal kink, Papa?”

“Eh, you know, religious trauma, anti-pope,” he pointed at the hat with his free no- longer-skulled hand, “it's a thing.”

“What is the pope-hat called?”

“Pope-hat?!” He almost broke posture in laughter, but he restrained himself. “It's a mitre.”

“Ah, such a sexy name for a pope-hat. Either way, I’m glad I fit your bill Papa, and you--you became Papa Emeritus the third, because there was a bloody tournament where all the Papas fought eachother and though you won, you had to consume all the others to gain their knowledge.”

“Yes, of course, it was a very uh, prestigious tournament called the, 'tournament where we just fucking eat eachother’, but it's in old Latin so it sounds better than when I say it. Si.”

“You must be very knowledgeable then.”

“Eh, only the bedroom expertise tracked across unfortunately, but you know, in their name I make sure it doesn't go to waste,” he actually winked at you.

You shook your head with laughter and scribbled in a wink with your burnt umber, to get lost in the layer but stay marked there forever. You took a sip from your water bottle, legs growing tired from standing.

“Along with the religious trauma, you have ‘daddy’ issues,” he accused.

“Ah, I’ve seen what you've done there, Papa.”

“Si, you know, really heavy issues with your father, you once fought him on a yacht, he fell over the side, pshhh.” He looked like he wanted to move his hands in an animated kind of way but held back. “You never saw him again. You thought he was dead but he faked it… found him in Mexico years later with a new step momma,” he shook his head and looked genuinely crestfallen for you.

You nearly spat out the water you had been sipping on. “Oh, well, my ‘daddy issues’ make me fight the patriarchy and get spicy in bed. Obviously not too spicy, don't want to stoke the vengeful ghost of sister Josie…”

“When did she pass? I'm so sorry,”

You giggled, “but your mummy issues just make you sad and unable to control your emotions!”

“Is that fucking right? Not projecting are we?”

“I don't know what you mean, Papa~ and yes, she treated you so poorly, she used to use you as a footrest while she watched her shows. Even now ‘the days of our lives’ opening theme gives you flashbacks.”

“And through all my shitty violent outbursts you think you can fix me, si?”

“Yes of course, naw, Papa, we’ve all seen how far you've come and we are so proud of you.”

Papa Emeritus gave up holding his pose and leaned forward laughing. “I very much like this game,” he raised a gold clawed finger.

“Oh, bless your unholiness, you miss your mother so much, you wear her nails.”

“Stop, fermare, non, it hurts,” he held his stomach.

Thank you for reading and thank you tumblr for removing all my lovely italics,

More here:

#ghost #ghost band #ghost fanfiction #terzo x reader #terzo #reader insert #ghost bc #the band ghost #fan fiction #fanfic #ghost fanfic #papa emeritus lll #papa terzo #papa emeritus iii #terzo fanfic

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pinkcreatorshark · 2 years

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DARK CRISIS: YOUNG JUSTICE #6 (FINALE) SPOILERS

So, I skipped a bunch of issues because I got lazy, but here's my thoughts for DCYJ the finale, and my overall thought of the run at the end.

First of all. Look at them all ready for battle and this mf out here posing and looking directly at the camera.

So Im not sure why the comic turned into the "Cassie is the greatest hero ever" power hour but I mean sure, I guess. Literally everyone the past like three issues is just "Cassie you're so great and amazing and smart and pretty" it started to feel like a Cassie book and not a YJ book.

Imagine getting told by both guys you dated in a span of a few minutes that they were never really in love with you

Never getting over Tim admitting he had romantic feelings for Kon, and then Kon saying he didn't have it in him to live anyone. Unrequited timkon is real. (I'm saying this as a timkon, timber, AND timberkon shipper)

I'm sorry but Human!Red Tornado looks like Ric Grayson in a dramatic cape

So Conner being invisible is honestly the saddest shit. Being unseen is his biggest fear, and that was who's whole thing in this run, as well as where the new Superboy comic is going. His fear of being unseen, unheard, and unneeded. He needs to feel needed or he doesn't know what to do with himself. He feels like he HAS to be the one to save the day or what's the point of him being there? That shit broke me.

Overall Thoughts:

So, the comic run overall was. Not very good from a character perspective, but was fine? I guess?

It felt like the writers understood some characters and completely butchered others. It went from being a Cassie hateclub to Cassie is the best hero ever in just a few issues and that. Felt weird. It did have some funny moments, like homophobic Batman, and literally everyone including Bart realizing how gross his writing was towards women back in the day.

It also addressed some stuff, albeit a bit heavy handed, that I think doesn't get talked about a lot like how Tim and Kon tend to third wheel Bart a lot and how Bart is just treated as some dumb kid when he's probably one of the smartest on the team. It also remembered kons TTK which I call a win. But it also completely misunderstood some things, like Cissie saying why she left the team.

For a moment it showed what YJ used to be but it quickly became a parody of itself. And I think that was intentional because of who the villain was, but also it was too much so and it felt forced which hurt it in the end.

There also was a lot of hating on the new generation characters that have been giving a lot of poc and LGBT rep, which. Was not the way they should've gone about it. I don't think that's what they were intending, they were trying to make the villain make a different point, but it was toeing a very controversial line.

Overall, I feel like the run had a lot of potential, but leaned too heavily into the parody of nostalgia. It focused too much on what WAS and not enough on what IS. I think they were trying to make a YJ comic that re-solidified the bond between the characters, which I guess it accomplished, but it didn't in such a way that it made it seem like their relationship was flimsy at best to begin with and that their trauma was just something they could apologize for and everything be okay again.

I'm giving Dark Crisis: Young Justice a 5/10

#conner kent #dark crisis #tim drake #young justice #bart allen #cassie sandsmark #core four #dark crisis: young justice #dcyj spoilers #dark crisis: young justice spoilers

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