#the prettiest thing ive read today
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hot girl affirmations
bedtime gratitude edition <3
thank you universe for the beauty you've made me inside out <3 thank you for my extremely clear and glowing skin!! thank you for luscious hair you've given mee thank you for this pretty face and pretty body thank you for the prettiest heart you've given me thank you for my healthily functioning body and mind!! thank you for all the desired self care products i own thank you for my pretty eyes thank you for my saccharine voice <33 thank you for my hot girl mindset thank you for the things you are protecting me from thank you for the lessons ive learnt today thank you for making me the living epitome of beauty with brain thank you for surrounding me with wonderful people thank you for the wonderful and desired clothes i own thank you for the guidance you've given me today thank you for the goodnight's sleep thank you for the ever increasing beauty and intelligence i wake up with everyday thank you for blessing the gorgeous gorgeous girls that will be reading this post
thank you for blessing me <3 goodnight lysm mwah 💋
#affirmations#manifesation#manifesting#loa tumblr#loassumption#loa blog#self improvement tips#self care#selflove#gratitude#mindfulness#prettygirlissuesss#hotgirlmindset#hotgirlaffs
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Marriage for Alhaitham is precious. It’s devoting himself to you, to your love and your every breath without even explicitly saying it. It’s the way the prettiest ring he could find that fit you and that personality he adores glitters in the sunlight of Sumeru’s summer as the two of you walk hand in hand through Sumeru City, the first time appearing in public as newly weds.
To him, he couldn’t have chosen anyone better. You’re his princess - no, now you’re his queen, the very one he’d kneel to should the moment ever arise. The one he’ll wipe the tears of as you come down from a blissful high, sniffling as his thumbs wipe over your warm, tear stained cheeks. After all, you’d been so good for him, how could he not hold you so delicately after that intense session of lovemaking?
Your day’s walk in Sumeru City ends with your hair sprawled onto feather filled pillows, legs hooked around Alhaitham’s midriff as he slowly sinks into your tight heat, his nose pressed into the crook of your neck with a groan as your nails already press into the skin of his muscular shoulders.
“Too big—” you babble, strands of silvery hair brushing up against your face as Alhaitham’s large hands grip your waist, “Daddy— too big!”
There’s a warm breath that fans over the sensitive skin of your neck before Alhaitham presses a gentle kiss there that almost makes you forget about the heavy feeling lingering between your legs, aching as he pulls out to slap the head of his cock against your clit.
“Don’t lie,” he murmurs into your ear, pushing his tip back into you seconds later. You squeal in response, nails clawing his back for purchase, “I know my pretty wife can make it fit, can’t she? She can be a big girl and take all of daddy’s cock.”
Words jumble together and there’s barely a coherent thought behind your eyelids as you hiccup out, the resonating sound of skin slapping filling the room and drowning out those euphoric cries of your husband’s name, begging for some semblance of relief the longer he drills his cock further into you, relentless but nevertheless filled with a devoted love that only you will receive the Akademiya’s scribe.
With your ring catching the candlelight that sits and paints the heavy scene, it sets a reminder that you will be the only one to ever receive such love.
- 🪭
UHM WOAH . .
fannie ! ! 。ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ。ive reread this ask more than 50 times over the span of yesterday n today i am Positiviely sure of it . . . n yet . . i cant find the words to say how i feel . . . is this a gift . . 🥺 for me . . ?? 🥺 i feel so guilty n selfish for assuming so WAAH but the way you wrote it . . how you wrote the reader . . how u wrote haithie . . dont even get me started on th daddie kink 🥺 I SELF INSERTED SO HARD BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH I FEEL INSANE ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! “ you’re his princess - no, now you’re his queen, the very one he’d kneel to should the moment ever arise “ no bcos u r so right he is not js in love he is SMITTEN beyond belief w you 🥺🥺🥺 ! ! “ she can be a big girl and take all of daddy’s cock “ WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAAAT . he's so . OH i rllie truly loveeeeee him w my whole entire heart ! ! 🥺
secret angel non - non . . i hope you know how lovely a writer you are . . . how u wrote al haitham js as i imagine him in a relationship — soft n tender but still with sharp edges n all his snark ! ! i am in awe beloved ! ! ! 🥺 do you hv a writing blog?! perhaps one day . . when u r ready 2 reveal urself to me i may know the name of it ? 🥺 so i cn read ALL of ur work . . . ?
I JUST ! ! ! ! ! saying thank you doesnt even feel close enough to how Thankful n Grateful i truly am ! ! ! oh i do hope i may be able to know more about your secret angel non - non . . so that i can gift you something too in kind 🥺 i am so blessed . so happie . so stickie down there LOL$^&*)$ thanks to this . . i hope you are smiling always 🥺 i hope u are healthy forever 🥺 i hope only the bestest of things happen to you 🥺 i hope i hope i hopeeee ! ! ! ! 🥺 i hope u know how much this meant to me :C ! ! i didnt even do anything special or sweet enough to warrant a gift ( if that is what this is ) like this ! 🥺🥺🥺
#THIS WAS AN ATTEMPT AT MURDER ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !#SORRIE i used so many 🥺 emojis . . . but truly . . . . . i am sitting like that lil guy rn . .#🥺🥺🥺#i love him i love you non - non i love life i love everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♡#WAAAHHYT&)(@$*PFEHUNCJS:j#૮ ๑´ `๑ ྀིა ⌒ 𝓗𝓐𝓘𝓒𝓞 ⑅˚˖ ݁ ˓#𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇.ᐟ
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vent 😝 no one give me unsolicited gd advice in the comments im so sick of it
(very long so if u don't wanna read allat scroll)
me when my life has no meaning 😝 me when my gf doesn't love me anymore 😝 me when i got replaced in one of my friend groups 😝 me when i know they're talking shit about me 😝 me when im positive my gf is gonna break up with me bc why would she stay 😝 me when im the fat friend but can't stop eating for the life of me 😝 me when i say im sad and they ask why and i don't know 😝 me when im not good enough for anyone 😝 me when i was lightheartededly joking with this guy in class and he called me fat 😝 me when my sister called me fat 😝 me when the prettiest girl in the grade calls herself fat when im lit like 40 pounds heavier 😝 me when i can't communicate and then get mad at the other person 😝 me when i have the strong urge to relapse out of nowhere over tiny things 😝 me when i get sad that i miss out of good things at school but when i go into the building the next day i cant handle it 😝 me when i dont do social things anymore i just sit on my phone and scroll and get sad and jealous when they hang out without me 😝 me when im scared to post myself bc when i did this guy in my grade found my public account and made fun of me 😝 me when im done and i cant do it anymore 😝 me when ive cried like 3 times today 😝 me when😝😝😝😝
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hmmmmmm i hav a lot to say tonite
i like playing video games and listening to cds with the window cracked at night when it's nice out. i went to a used DVD & cd store in a really cool old building today. they had a tekken arcade machine which added to the liminal feel. i got a bright eyes and panic! cd and a gantz dvd. except the panic cd ended up having a different disc and i think its Kings of Leon? It was supposed to be AFYCSO which is one of my all time favorites so I'm a little sad ;_; im excited for pride month which is also my birthday month. i hope i can do lots of tarot readings this summer. i hope i can show my partner all of my favorite places in my state and go visit his home state with him. i think he has the prettiest face... i cant wait for the nice days this week so i can smoke blunts and paint outside. i also have some mushrooms ive been saving for a day where me and my bf have time to go for a bike ride around town. and in a week or so it will be 4/20 and i will be celebrating very festively at a rave and i hope to make new friends and see oldish ones and wear a cute outfit and somehow practice some flow arts :) and then barely remember it the next day lolz. and im so excited abt so much i have to remember that i have my top surgery consultation in june too AND i have register for fall classes really soon !!! i look forward to high rides with the windows down and good music playing with my bf instead of bussing everywhere this summer. but im also hoping that i can get him to bus to places with me so he can see all my favorite things about it :) i hope that i can have lots of fun times soon... i hope i can become better at replying and corresponding with people so i can make and keep my connections w cool and kind people this year >o<
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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Kingdom
A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. With that being said, enjoy!
I’m talking about Kingdom today, so let me lay out my credentials. I’ve been a casual fan since around 2022, although I wouldn’t call myself a Kingmaker just yet. This discography deep dive is getting me there though! I’m considering going to their US tour this year, if they come anywhere close to where I live. We’ll see. Obviously, just like the (G)I-DLE one, I’m being harsher than I usually would be as a usual listener because this is a review, after all.
Let’s start with the concept. Kingdom is a group built around the idea that each member represents a different well-known king from a different country. Before we dive in the music, I wanted to talk for a minute about the controversy surrounding the very idea of the group, which boils down to the question: what counts as cultural appropriation and what counts as appreciation? For a group with such a focus on internationality, all 7 members are Korean, which means that they’re inevitably going to be representing cultures that they aren’t a part of, and, indirectly, profiting from them.
Personally, I’m unsure what to think about this. As a lover of history, I really enjoy what they’re doing, and it’s clear to me the amount of work that went into the research and stories for each piece. That being said, with the exception of the Russian one, I don’t belong to any of these cultures, and it's not my place to declare it all fine. Everyone needs to make up their own mind. So, with that out of the way, let’s start.
For this group, we’ll go album by album, starting with History Part 1: Arthur. As befits a legendary monarch from a millennium and a half ago, Excalibur feels otherworldly, from the angelic choir to the outfits that are an odd combination between common k-pop leather stage clothes and medieval knight’s armor.
Overall, what’s most notable about Excalibur is that it truly feels like a beginning: the song exalts Arthur and shows none of the later cynicism of the other monarchs featured. It seems to be the start of his reign, full of hope and bravery, and a revolution, with the phrase, “Follow me now, history begins with us." The accompanying album is also pretty good, with Night Air standing out as a softener to the army-like march of the title track.
The next album focuses on Chiyou, who in Chinese mythology is the God Of War. While this era isn’t my personal favorite, I do think it's the one that best captures who they are as a group. This song, Karma, may be their prettiest, a unique blend of traditional Chinese strings and flutes and modern trap.
Surprisingly, the god of war doesn’t get a song about battles, but the opposite: a song about moving on from the pain of loss that they bring and the need to find salvation for both oneself and future generations by striving for peace, with the visuals balancing the red-tinged fighting the song warns against and the blue-lit tranquility it’s is advocating for, as dancers spin with colorful fans. This album has several good b-sides, with the best being Magical.
Album three switches things up a bit, not only by transporting us to Russia, but also by focusing on a real person for their central character: the incredibly divisive Ivan IV, better known as Ivan the Terrible. It’s probably no coincidence that Black Crown is also the first song to paint its protagonist in a negative light, as Ivan struggles with whether to let the darkness corrupt him after taking control.
The song itself is neither their best or worst, but does an excellent job of building tension with classical strings and very sharp ballet movements. This idea of power, who has it, and the price they’d pay to keep it is a running theme in Kingdom’s work, but this song is the most upfront about it. This accompanying album is alright, although I prefer the first two, and the b-side On Air is quite good, especially in the melding of voices. My biggest gripe is that its instrumental intro is the best album track, with lovely combinations of electronic and classical, and I wish more of it carried into the song as Karma’s intro does.
With Pt. IV, Dann, the middle of the planned seven albums, we finally reach Korea, which, to no one’s surprise, makes the title track Ascension the most historically accurate of them all, being filmed at an actual Korean palace. The main character of this album is Dangun, the legendary founder of Korea, who spends Ascension lamenting the failures of his reign that have caused the people to revolt; they’re now outside, prepared to break the palace gates down, and he has nowhere to run.
Like Ivan, Dann has let power corrupt him, but unlike Ivan (and Arthur), Ascension is his ending, not his beginning. The instrumental of this one is rife with ancient drumming and EDM, a match that shouldn’t work but absolutely does. Similarly, the accompanying album is the best of the six so far—I couldn’t decide between Illusion and Blinder as a hidden gem—and somehow it hangs together despite seeming as miscellaneous as the others; the dual title tracks definitely help with the balance and cohesion.
Speaking of which, the other title track deserves some attention as well. Promise isn’t only a song with a music video that could best be described as a three minute and twelve second historical kdrama, but also just absolutely beautiful. It’s a very traditional Korean ballad, with a backing piano, building strings, and of course, a soft drum beat as the base layer. It starts quietly, as many ballads do, but it's at its post-chorus, which is full of pained yearning and the begged question, “Why does my love hurt so much,” (and which I’ve heard accurately described as “utterly transcendent”), that the song catapulted its way into my absolute favorites, not just of Kingdom, but of k-pop in general. It was while listening to this song that I noted that Kingdom has lovely voices and a real talent for harmonizing with each other, and I desperately wish more of their title tracks would use it.
Anyway, rant over, back to the main albums, and Part V: Louis. The title track Long Live The King is about the “Sun King” Louis XIV of France, who was famous for his very long reign, and his struggles with watching those he loves die and the world change around him since he lives to be so old; again, another thing someone exchanges for power, although he isn’t as vilified for it.
Normally with Kingdom’s title tracks, the East Asian songs are more historical while the European ones are more fantastical, which isn’t surprising, although this one looks as though it could’ve been filmed in Versailles with its 18th century costumes and gilded decor. But, while the song itself is pretty good, its album is the weakest, with none of the b-sides quite working for me.
And the last album focuses on Jinmu of Japan, a mythological figure said to be its first emperor, but the title track Dystopia, despite its name, moves away from the price that rulers pay for power and instead, like Excalibur, appeals directly to the audience, this time asking them to throw off the chains of society and break free from the pain inflicted on them.
Unfortunately, again like Black Crown, it doesn’t incorporate the classical sample close to enough to be on par with the others, and also doesn’t have the slowly built tension of Long Live The King or the beauty of Karma, and so kind of…meanders around without a strong identity of its own. The accompanying album this time is decent again, with Song of The Wind what should have been the title track. Unlike many k-pop groups, their ballads are all excellent and feel more genuine than their “cool”, rap heavy songs, like Warning, Burn, or Elements.
When finding groups, I always want to figure out what makes a group unique, worthy of my time, and to see if they have an established identity, which Kingdom has in absolute spades. The issue I have isn’t with any of their ideas or songs themselves, but with their work as a whole. What’s odd is that, while they do have this clear identity in their title tracks, they don’t follow through with it in the rest of their discography, and end up sounding a lot like other groups of their time. But when they’re good, they’re really good, delivering songs full of questioning power and catharsis.
My top five are Promise, Excalibur, Night Air, Ascension and Song Of The Wind. Overall, Kingdom gets a 7.5/10 from me. (Which I want to emphasize is still very good). I enjoyed this deep dive too, and especially getting to learn about the members of the group, who I didn’t know much about when I started. Who knows? Maybe by the time their American tour makes its way to me, I’ll be cheering in the stands too.
So, see you next time for a girl group!
#kingdom#K-pop#K-pop boy groups#Arthur#Chiwoo#Chiyou#Ivan#Dann#Dangun#Louis#Mujin#Jahan#kingdom kpop#history#Spotify
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the cowboy who lost his will
im feeling really conflicted in my feelings today. im lost and im confused on what to do next so I came here. ive hardly gotten any attention from the person who I really wanted attention from and now ive spiraled a little. I wanna go back to my old habits because they were the only thing providing me comfort but theyre bad and I know I shouldnt do it. I dont know how to explain how I feel. I know I should just talk to someone but I really hate explaining my feelings to anyone. I really hate holding it in too. I dont wanna talk today. ive been quiet most of the day. I just cant bring myself to respond. nobody understands why I wont talk. I dont either. its just that I dont feel like responding so I dont. Half the time they dont notice anyways. its like they've given themself a response. I want a hug. I feel like im being too clingy but I cant help it. nobody talks to me. im so sad. im so so sad. im having my random moments of crying again and although it feel comforting to cry again it hurts too. I just wanna be alone but I want someone to talk to me but I dont want to talk to anyone. I really just wanna give up but I know I shouldnt. why doesnt anyone read these? Its not like im putting my account out there anyway so of course no one is gonna read it. but I want someone to see these. they dont even have to respond I just wanna know they saw this. I only have one friend. its hard to transition from a place where everyone knew you to somewhere where no one knows you. I used to be considered the prettiest girl at my school and now no one even looks at me. you can really feel it when youre out of place.
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Is it Monday??? 🤣
Let’s hope I do a better job tonight…. First, I have to finish telling you about what we did yesterday. I forgot so many things.
Mostly, we were on the bus early and we had a 5 hour tour of Oslo. I have mentioned about the young guide who got the sack because he was “high”. There was a huge U.S. country and western concert (someone called Luke Combs… don’t know him) and I think he had been at that concert. Anyway, I hope he hasn’t lost his job and feels better today!
The sculpture park was truly beautiful. All his sculptures depict family people - or singles that become attached etc - and their journey through life. I have a feeling I didn’t finish telling you how he saved his work from being stolen by the Nazis. I’ll check.
when I say that the city fathers (and mothers???) and governments here appear to have long term vision, we saw that on our next stop when we visited the new Opera House. Built in the old industrial area of Oslo, people said they were MAD … nobody would go there. But whoever said “Build it and they will come” was right. Resembling a large iceberg, it was soon joined by other architecturally innovative buildings and open spaces for people to come and walk and eat (and have saunas!). One of the novelties is you can walk on the roof (a bit like the stretch of grass we can walk up above the Orange Library and Museum!!) and watch the sunset and relax.
on our way to the Museum to see the Viking exhibition, we drove all round the city, passed the Palace and other significant buildings. You could spend 2 weeks in Oslo and not see as much as you would want. It would be so good to come back (not likely ….. but one of the one or two people who might read this might!) and explore the city more closely. I LOVE the architecture and Hugh Haynes would have fallen in love with it too. Anyway, we visited the Viking Museum, e hi biting lots of things (jewelry, head pieces, coins, swords etc) that have been found with buried longships. High ranking soldiers who died in battle were often buried with their ships and chattels in buried mounds. , often the same shape as their long boat. Being buried with their sword was important because Nirvana for the. Was to keep fighting. I think their brutality started to die down with the influence of Christianity.
Oh yes!!! Adjacent to the Holmenkollen ski jump is the Holmenkollen wooden chapel. (I might have a photo - not sure). Inaugurated in 1913 it was set in fire I. 1992 and re-inaugurated in 1996. Apparently it is the most popular place in Norway to get married but you have to book ahead 4 or 5 years!!
I asked our terrific replacement guide if she knew of a good place to go for dinner last night and. ….. have I already told you?? I can’t see yesterday’s piece until I post this one? Well anyway, we went down to the Barbour and chose a restaurant and had a delicious meal.
This morning we were bussed to the station, hopped on the train for a 4 hour train trip to Myrdal passing ever coloring autumn trees, raging rivers and rapids, pretty white and grey houses (the barns are red) and then hop on the scenic Flam railway to Flam. This is a truly beautiful 50 minute train trip that becomes more and more dramatic and wild and includes the raging Kjosfossen waterfall which supplies the electricity for the Flam train. Lonely Planet reports this as the world’s best train ride.
Then we arrived in Flam which is one of the prettiest Villages I have ever been in. The Flam Fjord is protected by UNESCO. Flam was built to house the workers and equipment for building the tunnels and tracks needed for the railway to Bergen. It is clearly now a ski resort village and is SO serene and pretty.
Now… for those reading this (hello??? anyone there??🤣🤣🤣) blog who knew my brother Rog and knew he died recently, probably don’t know that just after he died, his daughter Claire was taking the dog for a walk in St Ives and she saw a double (??) rainbow over the house. Claire and her husband Ben are in Scotland and they have taken a bit of him to the Isle of Skye right up the top of a mountain with the best view and lots of people visiting? And sure enough… coming down from the mountain, what should she see but a rainbow coming out of where she had sprinkled him! And today, as we were on our way to Flam on this spectacular little train trip, a rainbow appeared and out came the sun! We also have a bit of him with us and we’ll take him next week to the Northern Lights. He was booked on this trip and I have been - sadly but luckily - able to take his place.
I am constantly reminded of a magical trip Hugh (H) and I had in 2004 to the Pilbara with Rich and then to Katherine and Kakadu with Angus. We felt - as I do now - that we were terribly organised with bag and backpack etc., only to overhear Angus tell a friend how hopeless we were, scrabbling around in the backpack looking for things!! It seems I haven’t improved, but - like that trip - haven’t lost anything yet!!!
By the way, by putting his sculptures out in the park, Vigeland was able to prevent the Nazis stealing his sculptures. I don’t really understsnd how that worked, but apparently, because they became public property, it did work. 👏👏👏👏
Tomorrow we have a ferry ride through fjords, a bus ride somewhere or other and then a train ride to Bergen. A walking tour around Bergen the following morning and on to the MS Kong Harald (look it up!) which is the boat that will take us to Estonia and Finland for excitement and hopefully the Northern Lights.
Good night! Photos will follow.
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“?”
✨ @the27percent. meme. still accepting!
TYPIST: despite my ’ cocaine nosed goth at the theater ’ background from when i was younger and more spry…. im actually a multicrowned pageant queen. i cant even tell you how many pageants ive been in, but i’ve won multiple with ribbons, crowns, trophies, and a spot in whatever parade was going on or whatever……. i can legit do it all. i can be the weird bih in black and the prettiest one in the room all at once!!!!!!! that’s skill! im vain. i dont like befriending ppl who walk outside and look like whatever like ur bringing my average down by looking like shit. comb ur fucking hair and put some petroleum jelly on ur lips ur embarrassing me w. ur crust.
also this makes me great at pr since pageants involve dumb questions. if u ever need a bullshit statement for something, ask me. i was trained to bullshit smart, thorough statements with no feeling or meaning behind them. hmu!
MUSE: he wakes up at like. 5:45am. every single day. even on the weekends lol… he’ll sleep in occasionally, or he’ll eventually go back to bed. but he gets up at 5:45am on weekends, even if only for a few minutes. like he’ll read a couple of articles on his phone and then knock tf back out. on work days he gets up, scrolls thru the news, sighs at headlines, and lets his brain wake up. he’ll pet his cats during this, too. <: ) so the first thing he has to do is just. adjust to being awake lol. maybe look at the ceiling and be like ‘ damn today is really happening today. :( ’even when the previous night he didnt get any sleep. he still wakes up at early. he just needs the routine tbh lol. it helps make him feel more solid.
something about waking up super late on the weekends or not having any alarms makes him feel weird in a really bad way.
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9 YEAR OLD DREAMY WAS IN LOVE WITH GRAYSON??? i actually almost choked on air reading that because when i was 8-10 i had a phat crush on robin/dick from young justice season 1; this is so funny skdjfhj i think there's been a variety of fandoms i've been in but the dc + marvel ones were the longest. i also loved littlest petshop, gen rex, ben 10 etc. but my iron man craze was literally the worst. can you believe that i had all 44 iron mans (the designs) memorized by name when i was 12? it's absolutely mindblowing thinking of that for me, i can barely remember my friends' names now djdjfkfj also hiii hope you are having a lovely day today ❣️ the flamin' hot cheeto look was a really fun one, if i'm being honest and yes! changbin looks so nice with light hair... my favourite binnie remains go-saeng era bin though, the ash blue/grey hair and slight mullet suited him a lot! i personally love natural hair on everyone but my preferred hair colour has always been a deep purple, like the one minho had a while back! whenever any of my biases get the grape hair is when i think they look the prettiest⏤my favourite gem is amethyst and that shade reminds me of the geode a lot, especially once it starts fading towards the pastels, it's like it's fading from the crystals to the chalcedony :D others i love are silver/lychee hair, blueberry hair, peach hair etc. hehe oh you're so cute :c i am more of a person whose love language is acts of service + gift giving so i often end up remembering the most absolutely trivial things concerning my friends, which has extended to my biases jfkjkgjd a few things i associate with them is: the stars (cliche but i once heard someone say to another person that their freckles were like specks of stardust & constellations in the night sky somewhere and that stuck with me for felix once i saw him after that!), guitars, berries, bandaids, skateboards, cooking/baking, cats, trace chain necklaces, sweaters, garlic (LOL) and little envelopes! soem of these are things i've seen them with and the others are like. this will sounds so weird but what i smell/taste/feel/picture when i think of them? it only happens with a few people though and the funniest thing is my ult isn't one of them KLDJDSJ but yeah jeongin is the one with which it does happen! what's your favourite food? and what is some fun activity you'd like to try out with chan if you had the chance to? - 🌨
hi my love! sorry im always so swamped during the weekends im like brain dead lmao
omg young justice was SO good the fact that it got cancelled was such a crushing part of my childhood, it was so perfect but just cause girls liked it they trashed it :( i fully support u memorizing all of iron mans suits, i always go into fandoms like that lmao if i really like something i was to be an encyclopedia of knowledge on it. i used to be that way about lord of the rings but a lot of that info has absolutely leaked out of my brain since i was a kid so now it just pops up randomly and im like how do i know this still???
purple is ALWAYS such a good color, its so sad to me that chris had purple hair for liek a week because its always SUCH a pretty color and i agree it was ESPECIALLY amazing on minho for maniac era, it really suited him! i do wish minho got to have more hairstyles, i feel like he either gets a coconut or coconut but you can see his forehead lol and i think he could pull off anything so i always wonder why they dont really do anything else most of the time.
omg i love remembering little insignificant facts about ppl, i always find that those are the things that make people feel so loved. the amount of times ive gotten something or mentioned something to my best friend that i know she likes it always surprises her cause she doesnt even remember telling me the fact, but im like its about you so it was important to me to remember. I also love gift giving for that reason, cause im not someone to do something super big or elaborate, but i'll get a couple tiny things that i know mean something to someone or that really remind me of them and it always feels nice, like im sharing a piece of how i see them with them.
my favorite food is easily tacos lol i love tacos so much that my best friend has a taco tattoo for me! and i like all kinds of tacos from the garbage taco bell ones to really good authentic street tacos, just something about them i find really comforting I don't know lol but yeah theyre definitely my favorite.
oh god this is massively cheesy but if i could literally do anything with chris it would to be to drive to the middle of nowhere and go stargazing. like just forget everything else and just tell each other stories about the constellations with nothing else around to bother us. i think that would be the most ideal thing to me.
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Yours
PAIRING : George Weasley X Y/N
SUMMARY : George getting jealous of his twin brother for being closer to you .
WARNINGS : none? Make out? implying things? hehe
WORDS : 1.7k
A/N: lol this hits too close to home, growing up i was shadowed by heather sister :( I was going to turn this into smut but im not sure.. cos i never wrote a smut before lol.
“Focus on your work Weasley” Snape smacked George Weasley’s head with the book he was holding, causing the whole class to look at his direction.
George was already an easily distracted person to begin with. but today especially, he got his mind somewhere else.
He was looking at you and his twin brother Fred, giggling while trying to figure out snape’s task. All of his life he never thought that he would feel this much jealously towards the older twin. Sure, sometimes it bothers him a bit that people pay more attention to him, or the fact that people always refers them as “Fred & George”, not “George & Fred”. But he knew it’s a silly thing to be bothered about so he always managed to brush it off.
But not today, Fred had been assigned with you. The girl George met on his last solo trip to honeydukes. It shocked him how he never saw you around before, despite being in the same house and grade. But hes glad that he met you. George didn’t like to be cheesy, but he was so sure that you were made for him. Whenever youre around, he just felt so happy. You’re funny, kind, and on top of all you’re prettiest thing he ever seen. Sadly, for him, other people seems to think that way about you.
He introduced you 2 weeks ago to his brother and friends. You seem to get along great with everyone. He liked that, his brother and friends is everything for him. But he cant help it but feeling a little bit jealous. He didn’t wanna admit it but this jealously is most probably because he was insecure about his feeling for you. Before everything he was sure that you fancy him the same way he fancies you. But now, hes not sure. And he hated it, youre supposed to be his girl.
The class that felt so long was finally over. George quickly stood up, walking towards the common room. he just want to burry his face onto his bed now. He felt an arm linking his.
“Hey you” it was you. He let out a big sigh, not knowing how to feel right now.
“Hey, did you have a good time today?” He hated how catty he sounded. Knowing you, he knew you wouldn’t able to tell.
“Yeah it was fun. Your brother is hilarious you know that?” He rolled his eyes, feeling his face getting hot.
“Well yeah hes a clown” George answered shortly. Wanting you both could just drop this conversation. He didn’t like this, being jealous of his twin brother.
“ahah yeah true, youre also funny too you know” You leaned your head onto Georges arm. At this point it was hard for him to not just pulls you into a big hug. “Whats your plan for the rest of the day?” You asked looking up on him.
“Im not sure, probably just sleep” George answered looking down to you. You looked so cute leaning on to him.
“Wanna have a study date? Snape’s test tomorrow right?” George’s ears perked up at the word date.
A smile creeps on his face. “Yeah sure”
“Brilliant! I’ll see you in 2 hours then!” You gave his arm a squeeze before you go. Leaving George all smiley by himself.
2 hours later, George found himself getting ready for his study date. He finally going to make a move on you. Its obvious that you fancy him now right? At least you were the one who refers their study session as a study date.
He tried to look around for Fred but he was nowhere to be found. He feels weird do anything without asking for the older brother’s advice. But it was time to go to meet you at the Library and he didn’t want to make you wait, so he just decided to cross his fingers and hope for the best.
“Hey” George greeted you, big smile on his face. You look up at him from the book you were reading, smiling back at him. “You got a lot of stuff here” He sat down beside you, looking at paper and pens in front of him.
“Oh its not mine” You answered. “So, do you have anything you’re particularly struggling with?”
Whilst you tried your best to explain the things that he was struggling with. George was doing his best to stay focus on what youre saying instead of you. He cant help but admire your face, your cheeks, your lips. He wonders how would it feel like you press his lips against yours.
“Are you listening to me George?” You asked, knowing the answer pretty well.
“Uh yeah, im sorry I got distracted” he blinked.
You brought your hand on to his head, messing with his red hair. “you’ve been a bit distracted these days. didn’t you got smacked on your head earlier today by Snape?” you chuckled a bit running your fingers on the back of his head. “Did it hurt?” You tilted her head closer to him, rubbing the back of his head.
He couldn’t seem to think straight at this point. The fact that youre so close to him right now, he could smell your scent. He took a deep breath trying to be brave and make a move. He put his hand on top of yours, pulling it away from his head. “Y/N..” He started, linking his fingers with yours. “I think I like you”
“Yeah?” You chuckled feeling. your cheeks starting to get warm. “Whats going on George? Why are you suddenly so serious?”
“Well, Im not sure how you feel about me. But I got nothing to lose so here I am. I like you”
Surprised by his words, you didn’t say anything. So he thought he could just make a move then. He leaned in closer to you getting you lips closer to each other. Not knowing what to do you just close your eyes. He smiled, taking this as a greenlight to proceed his act. Until all of the sudden-
“Your tea is here!!” Fred walked in, causing them to pull away from each other. “Hey that’s my seat George, do you not see the stuffs on the table?” He said as he sat down filling the gap between You and George.
“Fred what are you doing here?” George asked, clearly frustrated with the situation.
“That’s not how you greet people, my dear brother” He said handing you the tea he was talking about. “Besides, youre not the only one who got invited to this study group. Right Y/N?” You just nod at him feeling flustered, thinking about what could’ve happened if Fred didn’t just walk in.
The next day, George has been avoiding you since last night. He thought you guys shared the same feeling. But yesterday proved him wrong. He was just another friend to you
Snape’s exam was a group work, being Fred’s partner obviously made you work with him for the exam. You looked so happy, George wishes it was him working with you instead of his twin brother. He hated this so much, it’s ridiculous how jealous he felt towards his twin brother right now.
The exam’s finally over, George saw you coming up to him from the corner of his eyes.
“Hey” you greeted him. “Wanna go to Three Broomstick later? I haven’t really seen you all week”
“Who’s coming?” He asked, hoping this time its just the two of you. And everything that he thought about last night wasn’t true.
“Uh everyone. Fred, Lee, Angelina and others im not sure” George snickered. How stupid of him to think that you wanna be alone with him. How stupid of him to think he got a chance with you.
“I think im gonna pass on that” he took a deep breath. “Im tired. Ill see you around” He left you dumb folded, walking away towards his room.
The night comes around. The common room feels empty, his friends had left him for Three Broomstick. George just chilling alone on his bed when he heard someone opened the door.
“George?” You walked towards him, sitting at the end of his bed “Hey, im just.. I just wanna make sure everything is okay”
“Why you here” George answered bitterly. “Arent you suppose to be out with your friends, with my brother?”
“Well yeah but I wanna check up on you. And talk about last night..”
“What do you wanna talk about Y/N?” He took a deep breath. “I already get it, you see me as a friend. If anything, you like Fred more than me. I get it don’t worry. Everyone always picks him over me, im used to it”
“George…” you scotched in closer too him, trying to stop him from rambling all these nonsenses.
“Im not even sure why I thought you like me, he is the better twin. Im just me. I just thought I have a chance with you. Throughout my life, ive always get hands down from my siblings, share with my siblings.” He realised how ridiculous he sounded but it didn’t stop him. “I love how you get along with my friends. But, i just thought, I thought youre my person. Finally someone I can proudly say mine. I thought you feel the same way as I do…” Georges voice was getting quitter when he felt your hand grabbing his. “I like you a lot and I get that you don’t feel the same way. So if youre coming here to explain that i-“
His words were cut off by your lips crashing to his. “You never let me speak Georgie” You murmured against his lips “I don’t know how you got it all wrong” you kissed his cheek lightly. “I didn’t know you felt that way. George. I like you, im your person. Ive always been“
With a big smile he pulled in for another kiss. He held on to your waist pulling you closer to him, positioning you onto his lap. You threw your and around his neck, deepening the kiss whilst his hands lazily griped your waist.
You can feel something poking between the inner part of your legs. With a slight smile you press your legs more on to him, grinding it against him. Earning a low groan from him.
He held your hips down on him, so both of you can feel more of the friction. His lips travelled to your jaw and to the back of your neck. You could feel his hot breath, sending shivers down your spine as he moved his lips closer to your ears. “Prove it”
OKAY SO
Let me know if you want a part 2 smut off of this HAHAH.
hehe part 2
this was quite hard to write cos i feel bad for him ahaha. this is loosely based on a true story. but i never got my Y/N :’)
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Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes
*secret agent AU*
Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.
Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!
previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter
*Word Count: 2.9K+.
*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint).
Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings.
*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.
-*-
Raul was fucked.
He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked.
Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created.
And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N.
So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach.
And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true.
“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.
Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”
“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late”
“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”
“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”
Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior.
He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.
Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.
They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.
“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”
“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.
Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.
“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.
“Oh hi”
“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck”
“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.
“I know, I know that”
Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?”
“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit.
“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.
“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town”
“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”
“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity”
Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.
“Boyfriend? Is he here?”
“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”
“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?”
“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.
Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”
“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.
“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one”
“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”
Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby”
Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”
“Geonoff, darling” he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.
And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”
“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.
“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.
“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”
“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”
“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.
Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”
“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”
“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.
“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please”
“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.
“Do you want anything, baby?”
“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”
Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.
“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.
Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”
“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’.
“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.
“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.
“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.
“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.
Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid”
As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.
Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.
“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.
Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”
“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you”
“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.
Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”
“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.
Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her.
“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”
“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.
“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.
“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.
“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.
“Why me?!”
“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp.
“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked
Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“
“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering.
“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch.
Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”
“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her.
“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”
“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”
“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”
-*-
*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.
*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.
*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!
*Hope you guys enjoyed it!
*xoxo
-🌙
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hi ive been seeing the stuff about tom and zendaya .. ik that celebrity culture and codependency on literal strangers is so damaging but im guilty of contributing to that phenomenon. i have a massively delusional crush on tom and find so much joy in watching his interviews, video compilations, and reading fanfics but its really just this idealized version of his persona that is portrayed to the general public and not who he really is (bc i will never know). when looking at the matter objectively, ik im just in love with the idea of him and its just an unrealistic fantasy i have as a sense of escapism but sometimes i cant help how attached i am to my own perception of him. today especially i feel ridiculously insecure about myself seeing him with zendaya even though shes the prettiest and sweetest girl. im a fan of both of their work and adore them (as much as i can as a literal stranger to them lol) and they deserve to be happy and find peace together (individually as well) but i feel like im a bad person for fantasizing about him and feeling jealous of her. i dont know how to get over this mindset besides finding other unhealthy distractions. do you have any advice in managing this ? thank you <3
well first of all hello :) and thank u for coming to me with this i feel honored that u felt comfortable enough to share this on my blog. @rosyparkers has gotten a few asks about this and she made a post here that summed it up really well in my opinion. just know that in this day and age with social media and everything the perception/idea of familiarity with celebrities (feeling attached, like you know them) is really heightened and it's very easy to get attached to someone through all the content that we're given. it's a normal reaction, it's normal to have uncontrollable feelings in reaction to this. you are not a bad person for having feelings. i think you're already self-aware so you know who you are, who he is, you're aware of the reality of the situation and it's important to remember that. try not to focus on it too much because it doesn't really affect you personally (like physically, your life has not changed in actuality and you're okay!) if you can, try to focus on the positive feelings, it's easier than done but tbh if you fake something long enough, it becomes real sdfgh you can trick your mind into feeling happier about it or wait until you actually do. or if you don't think the negative feelings will go away, try to shelve them and focus on other things. immerse yourself in a completely different world, watch a movie, a show, read a book, anything! it's barely been a day, things will settle and you won't feel so overwhelmed eventually <3
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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟐.𝟗𝐤
𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬
A/N: Massive thank you to my dearest @fromyourstrulyh for the help! You’re an angel sent from above 🦑🌊✨
Monday, 22 June
Y/N walked through the doors to the Inn, placing her red heart shaped sunglasses at the top of her head as she started rummaging through her purse for the keys to her room. It had just passed 10am and she’d been strolling about town, popping by Vintage Divine again. Now all she needed was a small reading session and she’d be ready for the beach later. However, her attention was brought to the sound of voices and laughter coming from the back garden. She remembered how Bessie had been seated there the first day Y/N arrived, how tranquil the garden had looked hidden away behind the Inn.
Curiosity got the better of her and Y/N walked over to the open door, peeking her head through it properly for the first time. Vines ran up and down the white cement fence, the small square in the middle littered with different coloured flowers, a few bistro chairs stood around a round table, a few women around Bessie’s age and the woman herself all seated there chattering away. As soon as Bessie noticed Y/N, she put down the knitting in her hand and grinned from ear to ear.
“Well, hello!”
The other women looked at Y/N and she smiled at them all, recognising Camilla and Florence from before. They all exclaimed various greetings, motioning for her to come over to where they were seated.
“You’ve met Florence before, and Camilla I hear.” Bessie gestured at the two women. “And this is Barbara.”
“Just call me Barb,” the woman in question said, grinning at her. “I’ve heard so much about you, Y/N.”
“You have?” Y/N asked, sitting down in the chair beside Bessie, who had been patting it since Y/N entered the back garden. “All good things, I hope.”
“Oh, all the girls have said you’re just lovely,” Barb reassured Y/N, removing her glasses from the bridge of her nose so she could take a proper look at the knitting in her hands.
“Have you ever tried knitting before, Y/N?” Bessie asked, cocking her head a little to the side as she watched Y/N look around the table at all the four women knitting.
“I tried when I was younger, but I was no good at it,” she said. “My mother used to be a very good knitter. Or, she still is, but… but I never managed to pick it up proper.”
“It’s all about the technique and how you’re taught it.” Bessie moved her chair a little closer to Y/N, bringing a tote bag with her and retrieving some bamboo knitting needles and pink yarn from inside it. Startled by the sudden change of pace, Y/N was left staring at the yarn in her hands, and then back at Bessie, who only continued to look at her. The old lady didn’t wait long, however. She made Y/N look back down at the knitting in her hand again.
“Right,” Bessie started. “Do you know how to cast on, dear?”
“No.”
“Okay, first you need to tie a slip knot, like so.” Bessie took the bamboo needle from Y/N’s hand and showed her how. She did it slowly, letting Y/N really see how she did it before taking the yarn off the needle and doing it again. “Now you do it.”
Dread filled Y/N. She’d fail. She couldn’t do this. She had tried it before and her Mum told her she had no talent for knitting. Why was she letting Bessie teach her this? Sweat started beading at Y/N’s forehead. Bessie gave the yarn back. Y/N took a slow breath, placing her hand and finger as Bessie had.
Y/N swallowed thickly. “I can’t.”
“You can, darling. It’s very easy.”
Y/N shook her head. She was afraid her hands would start shaking. “I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
Y/N couldn’t just tell Bessie how bad she was at knitting. Bessie would be so disappointed if she did, but at the same time, the innkeeper would be beyond sad if Y/N didn’t at least try. Y/N felt like she was choking for a second, as if she was running straight for a cliff, unable to stop. It would be disastrous. She didn’t want Bessie to hate her.
However, she felt Bessie staring her down. She knew that she had to do it. Bessie had given her a piece of yarn and a needle. She could not disappoint. She just couldn’t. As slowly as Bessie had, Y/N managed to do the knot stitch. Her hands were trembling slightly, and with everything within her, she hoped Bessie couldn’t see it. Y/N’s accomplishment was rewarded by a single clap from Bessie and a huge grin on the old lady’s face.
“Again.”
Y/N felt her mouth fall open. Though this wasn’t knitting, she had a long, long way to go still, she’d managed to do a knot stitch. She remembered this was how you started every single project, but she didn’t think she’d be able to do it again. Y/N looked at Bessie, and the old lady was grinning at her. Bessie placed her hand on Y/N’s back and rubbed her tenderly, a silent encouragement to go on. The touch had come as a surprise, Y/N didn’t know why Bessie did it. The hand on her back did wonders to calm her down and tell her she’d manage to do it again.
Slowly, Y/N repeated what she’d just done, feeling her racing heart calm down just a tad when she managed to do the knot again. Bessie rubbed Y/N’s back again, and this time it startled her enough that she jumped a little. Bessie only laughed at the reaction, squeezing Y/N’s shoulder before gesturing at the needles in front of her.
“Well, you saying you weren’t any good when you were younger, look at you now! That’s a good start, my dear.” Bessie tapped the stitch. “Now, since you deem yourself a beginner, I’ll show you the easiest way to cast on. There are multiple ways of doing it, but this was the one I learned. If you don’t understand what I’m doing, please tell me, okay?”
“Okay.” Y/N gave Bessie the bamboo needle back, turning her body so she could better watch Bessie cast on.
“You see this?” Bessie asked, motioning with her head at the needle she was holding out in front of her. Y/N nodded and Bessie put her glasses back on, getting ready to properly teach Y/N how to cast on as easy as one possibly could. Though Y/N hadn’t envisioned herself spending time trying to knit while she was in Cornwall, here she was. It wasn’t like she was going to start knitting an actual jumper or something nice. For today, she focused on that little square so she’d get into it. It wasn’t the prettiest thing she’d ever seen, she didn’t believe Bessie and her ladies for a second when they told her how nice it looked, but regardless, Y/N brought it up to her room with her and put it in her bag.
Y/N
Walking from the Inn now xx
Y/N started walking along the Terrace, leaving the Roaming Crab Inn behind as she typed Porthmeor Beach into her Google Maps. It was a fantastic day. The sun beamed down on St Ives as afternoon approached, a slight ocean breeze cooling Y/N down on her way to meet the Styles-Flores family. The wind wasn’t strong enough to make it uncomfortable to walk in her white and orange tie dye culotte trousers or white transparent beach shirt. In fact, she felt very good in this outfit. Her straw hat sat neatly on her head; she was sure Harry would be able to make her out the second he saw her.
Harry
Wicked, walk along the Terrace and I’ll meet you on Fore Street 😊
The little emoji made Y/N soft for some reason. She went back to focusing on the Google Maps on her phone, walking along the streets of St Ives, taking in the people that were on their way home from work. It was a little busier than usual now, but that only meant Porthmeor Beach wouldn’t be as crowded as it normally was. Not that Y/N would know if it was since she hadn’t been there yet, but she imagined people were either on their way home or at home making dinner. It just so happened that the Styles-Flores family were eating their dinner on the beach.
She noticed Harry right away on Fore Street, shining in the yellow afternoon sun. Wearing a revere Aztec striped orange, white, red and blue shirt along with denim shorts that reached his knees.He spotted her through his round dark sunglasses and gave her a close-mouthed smile and a small wave.
“Hiya, you,” Y/N said, giving Harry a beam as they got closer to one another.
“Hi.” He ran a quick hand through his hair as they fell into step, strolling back the way he came. “You alright?”
“Yeah, just been walking around and reading most of today, really. What about you?”
“Helped Jessa get everything ready down at the beach, driven all the food there. I think right about everyone’s there now.”
“Am I late?”
Harry looked at Y/N, shaking his head quickly and making his sunglasses slide down further on the bridge of his nose. He readjusted them hastily. “No, no, no. We wouldn’t have started till you’d arrived anyway. Dinner’s not served till everyone’s there.”
Y/N smiled a bit. “I would hate to have-“
“-No, honestly,” Harry smiled back. “That’s how we are, and we don’t mind waiting.”
“Forgot to tell you the other day, but I really like your family. They’re so nice,” Y/N said truthfully, making Harry glance down at the ground before them before looking back up again.
“We’re a bit loud, and a little rowdy sometimes, but they’re my favourite people on earth.”
Y/N looked away from Harry, blinking rapidly. “Can tell they absolutely adore you.”
There was a slight pause in conversation as they turned to walk up The Digey. Harry walked behind her as the cobbled street narrowed, the stone cottages rising up on both sides making it hard to walk side by side.
“By the way,” Harry said as he came up beside her when they walked past Bumbles Tearoom, the tiny square-like opening providing more space to walk on. “There’s… Uhm, there’s this thing on Thursday.”
“Yeah?”
Harry made sureno cars were coming as he let Y/N take the secure pavement while he walked on the side of the road. “My mates have gotten a whiff of what’s going on.”
“Which is?” Y/N smiled as she saw the ocean straight ahead, past the small stone fencing, seagulls flying and singing overhead.
“That my girlfriend’s in town.” He fell quiet for a second. “Pretend girlfriend. But they don’t know that.”
Y/N chuckled. “Alright.”
“One of them sent me a text asking if they could meet you. His Mum… You met her, Mrs Rose? Florence?”
“Oh! She’s so nice.”
“Yeah, suppose. A proper gossip, though. Anyway,” Harry said, waving his hand as if to dismiss what he’d just said. “Dax has been fed all this information by Florence and he’s now proper fuming I’ve never told him about you.”
“Dax is your best friend?”
“Him and Amir, I’ve been friends with them ever since I moved here.”
Y/N nodded. “So, what’s happening Thursday?”
“Ellie’s coming back from visiting her girlfriend in Ireland, so the lot are going to the pub.”
“You want me to come?”
“Dax asked if I could bring you. Rather, he demanded it. He’s quite offended that I didn’t tell him I had a girl- pretend girlfriend.”
The red that creeped along Harry’s cheeks after the stumble/slip made Y/N smile. “I’ll come. Have told you a couple of times already, haven’t I? I don’t have anything to do this summer anyway.”
Harry looked up at her, biting his bottom lip before looking at the beach before them again. “You really don’t mind?”
“Harry, you could ask me to come shovel cow shit at Jessa’s farm, and I’d be there without hesitation.”
That got him. He laughed and it was such a high-pitched boyish exclamation of joy that it surprised even him. His eyes grew wide and he slapped his hand over his mouth, making Y/N join in and laugh herself.
“I’m sorry, sometimes I sound like a hyena.”
Y/N shook her head while still laughing. “Why are you apologising? You’re laughing, you should laugh.”
Harry smiled at her as they crossed the road to the pavement on the other side by the fence along the beach.
“My Mum always said that you never have to apologise for being happy. You never have to atone for smiling or laughing or feeling content or ecstatic. Happiness isn’t permanent, one shouldn’t apologise or feel bad for experiencing it. It’s there ‘cause it’s there.”
“It’s there for a reason, though, isn’t it?” Harry asked, stopping and hooking his sunglasses to the collar of his shirt.
“Happiness doesn’t need reason, does it? It just is. It exists because without knowing it’s there somewhere and it’s attainable - ‘cause it always, always is, no matter how dark the world gets, happiness will be there to bring light when the going gets hard, - there’s no reason to go on, is there?”
Something about the way Harry watched her the next few seconds made her feel important. It was as if he was digesting her words; truly taking them in and listening to her. His eyes flickered between hers and it was only her that had his attention. She wasn’t sure she’d seen that look on anyone else’s face before when she talked.
“Are you afraid of heights?”
The question took her off guard, but she managed a, “No.” Which was the truth. She didn’t mind heights.
“Sound.” Harry sat down on the stone fencing lining the beach, his feet dangling off the far side. “This way is quicker.”
Y/N looked down the road, the stairs leading down to the beach were a bit away, so she understood why Harry was doing this. But… her hat would go flying. There wasn’t much time to think about it, because when she looked back, Harry jumped off and down into the sand. It wasn’t far down, it definitely didn’t scare her in the least, but she’d never jumped from any height like this before. Maybe from the side of a pool and into it, but never like this. That being said, she didn’t want to keep Harry waiting. So, telling herself to get over it, she sat down on the edge of the fence the way Harry had.
“Would you mind taking care of this?” she asked, taking her purse off her shoulder and holding it out.
He nodded, lifting his arms up as she dropped it.
She took a deep breath, watching as Harry caught her purse, and waiting till he’d taken a few steps back before she held onto her straw hat and mimicked what Harry had done a minute earlier. The sand came toward her at a rapid pace, butterflies appearing in her belly at the rush the jump brought, and before she knew it, the sand was right under her feet. The impact took her by surprise, and she fell to the side, an “oomph” sound leaving her mouth when sand got in her face.
“Oh, shit!” Harry ran over to her, sand spewing up behind him and unintentionally falling to his knees beside her, purse hanging from his shoulder. He held both his hands out, as to help her up, though both of hers were still very much holding onto the hat on her head. “You okay?”
She laughed, moving her hat some to look up at Harry, whose eyes were wide and hands still there at her disposal. “If we wouldn’t have looked like idiots, I would demand we do that again.”
A smile of relief washed over Harry’s face, and at the sound of Y/N laughing some more, it widened and turned into a genuine and elated one. “But you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I was just so focused on not losing my hat.”
“Right,” Harry chuckled, watching as she sat up on her knees. For a short second, his eyes flicked to her thighs, then back up into her eyes. Upon being caught looking, he glanced away, clearing his throat and getting up to his feet again. Y/N couldn’t help a slight giggle as she did the same.
“Never seen you in trousers before,” Harry said, giving her the purse back.
Y/N stared at him for a second before they started walking in the direction of his family. She couldn’t help her smile. “I didn’t know I’d never worn trousers around you.”
Harry let out a breathy chuckle, scratching at the back of his neck. “I, uh… I dunno… I have a good memory, I suppose.”
The two of them walked all the way over to the edge of the beach, right by the green Island that stood lush and majestic above all the houses that lined the beach. Jessa noticed them approaching first, clapping her hands together upon seeing Y/N. Y/N grinned, holding her hand out to Harry’s stepmum. Jessa took Y/N’s hand and Y/N did a tender mano po that got Jessa beaming so brightly it felt like she was singlehandedly lighting up the entire world.
“Y/N!” Grace exclaimed, running over with her arms outstretched. She hugged Y/N around the waist and Y/N quickly hugged her back, taken a bit off guard by the warm welcome. She wasn’t used to hugs, but she wasn’t about to tell Grace that. “You need to sit beside me.”
“Of course, I just need to go and greet your grandpa.”
Jessa put her hand over her heart as she watched Y/N walk over to Harry and Grace’s Lolo. She took her hat off upon approaching, the old man watching her with a look that was neither disapproving nor reassuring. She remembered what Harry said about this being important to him, that he didn’t want the tradition to die completely, so he probably expected her to do the mano po every time she met him as well.
“Mano po?” Y/N asked and he gave her his hand. She brought his knuckles up to her forehead, held them there for a second before pulling away.
Once she did, the old man reached beside him and revealed a hat that looked almost exactly like Y/N’s. He placed it on his head and a tiny smile graced his lips, and the way he looked when he smiled made Y/N see his resemblance to Jessa.
“Would you look at that!” Y/N grinned, putting her own hat on her head. “Great minds.”
“It’s important to keep your head cool when it’s sunny and hot out,” Lolo said and Y/N nodded eagerly, heart beating fast with the possible approval of a highly respected figure in Harry and Grace’s life.
“Y/N is here!” Jessa exclaimed, sitting down on the sand beside her father. “Kain na! Let’s eat!”
That was when Y/N really paid attention to her surroundings. The table they were eating at was low and long, no chairs in sight. The rest of the big family of around twenty , sat down by the table, Jessa and Lolo in the middle. Harry sat down in the sand opposite Jessa, looking over at Y/N and patting the spot next to him. She walked over, sitting down, putting her hat and purse behind her.
“So, this is kamayan,” Y/N said, remembering what Jessa had invited her to that Saturday at Grace’s birthday party.
“Y/N’s first kamayan!” Jessa said, looking so delighted Y/N felt her shoulders relax. She hadn’t known she’d been nervous about this until now. “Harry, where’s your camera?”
“It’s, uhh…” Harry looked at Y/N, the redness in his cheeks showing again as he quickly looked away when meeting her eyes. “In my bag.”
Jessa got up, walked over to Harry’s bag and started to rummage around it.
“Nanay,” Harry said, about to get up and get the camera for Jessa, but his stepmum found the Super 8 Camera and brought it over, waving it in her hand. “Please, be careful.”
“Harry’s quite nostalgic and sentimental, you see. He likes to video everything, especially during the summer when all his family and friends are here.”
“I know,” Y/N smiled, though she really had no idea, telling Jessa and the rest of Harry’s friends and family wouldn’t look good. Especially considering how Y/N was supposed to know everything about Harry.
“Of course you do,” Jessa said, bringing the camera up to her face. “Everybody, don’t mind me, do your thing!”
“Nay, switch the camera to tungsten since you’re using daylight stock,” Harry said and Jessa waved his worries off like she’d already taken care of that, turning her attention back to the camera to focus in on everyone. She started filming down the long table and Y/N looked away from her, first at Harry and then at the table in front of her. It looked unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.
“I usually…” Harry started, his voice low so only the two of them would hear. “I usually film when the family and friends are together each summer. Kind of like… i-it’s something we can look back on in a few years and remember, you know? ‘Oh, that happened that summer’ and ‘I’d completely forgotten about that’, and so on.”
Y/N smiled. “I really like that. Keeping memories.”
“Exactly.”
“Oh, we have to tell you what it is!” Jessa grinned as she sat back down, Harry’s Super 8 Camera back in Harry’s bag. “Basically, kamayan is a feast where we use no utensils, we eat with our hands.” Jessa wiggled her fingers at Y/N, a small laughter emitting from her. “First – so it’ll be easier to clean up after – we put newspapers on the table, even though we only ever use this table for this exact purpose on this exact day every year. The banana leaves that we put on top always leave a faint white residue behind. Then as you can tell,” Jessa went on pointing to the table, and Y/N looked down to see huge leaves covering the table as well. It wasn’t just the pattern of the table; these were actual leaves. “Then we grill banana leaves and put the ridged side up. The ridged side is the waxy side, it’ll keep the sauces from soaking through.”
“You align the spines of the leaves with the table edge so they won’t hang off the side of the table,” Harry explained, looking over at Jessa for confirmation.
She smiled at him, then at Y/N. “I’ve taught him well.”
Y/N smiled. “So, no plates? We just put our food on the leaves in front of us and eat?”
“For the kamayan, we don’t use any plates, we scoop everything up in lettuce leaves, coconut cups, and so on. First, we put down the rice, then around the rice is the pancit bihon guisado, which is rice sticks noodles with vegetables. All of that should be good for you to eat. Harry forgot-“ Jessa leaned over the table and swatted Harry over the head, though the gesture was more out of love than annoyance as both smiled after. Harry quickly fixed his hair again. “Your useless boyfriend forgot to tell me you are vegetarian. I’ve never been more insulted in my life.”
“Nanay, it just slipped my mind-“
“-Shush!” Jessa turned to Y/N. “If I’d known, I swear I would’ve made more food you could’ve eaten last Saturday as well.”
“That’s completely fine, don’t even worry about it, honestly,” Y/N smiled, glancing over at Harry who was looking at the food in front of him with a smile as he listened to the conversation. “I’m just honoured I was invited to this at all.”
“Of course! You’re Harry’s girlfriend!”
Again, a pang of guilt exploded in Y/N’s chest and swam across her entire body. The joy that was so incredibly transparent in Jessa’s voice would be gone when August came. Y/N felt sick to her stomach at the thought.
“Then there’s fried fish, shrimp, roasted eggplant, pan-fried bok choy, barbecued chicken, lumpia – I made them vegetarian this time around so you can eat them as well -, and a mango and some other fruits, but those are all in front of you.” Jessa gestured at the food in front of her. “Made Harry put it all where you two’d be sitting so it’d be easier for you, that way you won’t have to reach around the table for the vegetarian options.”
Y/N didn’t know when her hand had come to rest above her chest, she didn’t know when her heart had started hammering a million miles an hour, but she supposed this was her reaction to people going out of their way to make her feel welcome and included. A smile spread out across her lips as she looked to Harry, who was actually looking right back at her this time, maybe to make sure she was alright. When Y/N met Jessa’s warm eyes, she felt something in the back of her throat almost start burning. This was all so thoughtful. Though she shouldn’t have been surprised, Harry’s family were the type to go out of their way for one another, she just hadn’t thought they’d do that for her. The only person that had done that had ever done that for her was herself.
“Thank you so much.”
“No need to thank us, this is a feast for everyone.”
Again, Y/N was struck by how beautifully the table was decorated. So many colours, so many different dishes; it looked like a piece of art.
“These are edible orchids, by the way,” Harry gestured at the purple flowers that were strewn across the small mountain of food in the middle of the table. “We’re not trying to kill you.”
“Yet!” Grace grinned from beside Jessa.
“Don’t spoil our plan, Gracie,” Uncle Tim said, giving Y/N a nod as their eyes met.
“You lot are being creepy.” Harry got up, walking over to the portable cooler and bringing out a few beers, strolling over to the far end of the table and giving them to his aunts Rachel and Abby and their husbands. Then he gave one to everyone else over 18, handing the seven children a juice each.
“Cider or beer, Y/N?” Harry asked, meeting her eyes as he bent down to get some more drinks. “Or do you want juice? Water?”
“I’ll have a beer, please.”
Harry got one for her, his Lolo, Jessa, and him, before giving one to Uncle Tim, Jack – a close family friend – and Jack’s husband. Grace got a juice as well, making Harry open and put a straw in it for her before she happily started drinking.
“Gracie,” Jessa said, nudging her daughter. “Everyone!” Jessa brought her beer up, grinning at everyone around her and meeting their eyes before she said, “Mabuhay!”
Harry looked at Y/N, raising his beer, and she quickly got the memo, mimicking his movements.
“Mabuhay,” everyone else repeated, then took a sip of their drink, put it down on the ground beside them and finally started eating.
“Is that a toast of sorts?” she asked Harry, watching as he picked up a few lumpias and put them down on the banana leaf before him.
“A Filipino toast ‘to life and to live.’ We always do it before we dig in,” he explained, giving her a little smile before focusing back on scooping some rice into his hand and putting it down on the leaf in front of him.
Y/N mimicked him, picking up some rice with her hand and placing it right before her, she then reached for some of the vegetables and lumpia. She looked over at Grace who was happily munching on barbecued chicken, listening to Uncle Tim as he talked about something that happened in the fishing boat yesterday. Aunt Rachel and her husband were watching their hoard of kids with a smile on their faces, eating the rice and some roasted eggplant. Everyone around the table seemed so at home and completely at peace. It didn’t matter that their hands were greasy or that the sauce was getting everywhere, it was beyond them. All that mattered was the company around them - their family and the people they loved most.
“What did you think of the lumpia?” Jessa asked, hope in her eyes and some pan-fried bok choy in her hand. “It’s Harry’s favourite.”
“Mine too!” Grace chimed in before looking back at Uncle Tim and then Jack across the table, falling into their conversation again.
“They’re absolutely incredible,” Y/N said. “Did you cook all this yourself?”
“We cook everything together,” Lolo answered. “The family makes the food, it’s a bonding experience. We prepare the food the day before and reheat it before we eat it here.”
“And it’s great being on the beach, ‘cause if we spill something or anything like that, it won’t matter, and then we can just wash off with a bath afterward,” Jessa smiled.
“The weather’s beautiful down south, understand why you’d wanna do it on the beach,” Y/N said, taking a sip of her beer.
“You haven’t been to Porthmeor Beach yet, have you?” Harry asked, just loud enough so everyone chatting around them wouldn’t hear them talking. “This beach, I mean.”
“No, it’s much smaller than Porthminster Beach. It’s right by the Inn.”
“This one isn’t as crowded.” He paused for a bit, shaking his head once. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s crowded when tourists come here, but think most flock to Porthminster.”
“Which one do you like most?”
Harry swallowed a piece of roasted eggplant. “Porthgwidden. It’s the smallest one in St Ives.”
“How far is it?”
“On the other side of the Island. So, Porthmeor is on this side, and Porthgwidden is on the other.”
“You there often?”
“This one’s closer to the lighthouse, but I like Porthgwidden better. Dunno why. It was the first beach my father and I went to when we got here.”
Y/N smiled a bit. “I’ll have to go there at some point.”
“If you like the gang Thursday, they might try and convince you to come to a party there in July.”
“If it came to that, I’d be easy to convince.”
Harry only let out a small chuckle before the both of them turned back to eating. While eating, Y/N realised that while partaking in kamayan, you strip yourself of everything. You sit around a table with people who mean a lot to you, catch up on life, and talk about nothing and everything. Using your hands to eat food was a humbling, intimate experience. One felt vulnerable eating like this; using your hands to eat your own food and also handing food to others around you with those same hands. You connected on a sort of deeper level, eating and talking like this. Throughout the meal, Y/N felt closer to the people around her than when they’d started. She understood why this was a tradition in the Styles-Flores family now. If this was her family, it would undoubtedly be something she’d look forward to when summer rolled around.
“Harry, can you come with me?” Grace asked after a little while, her juice box empty and no food on the leaf in front of her.
“You want to go for a swim?”
She nodded at his question.
“Alright.” Harry turned to Y/N as Grace squealed in delight, getting up to take her summer dress off. “You wanna come?”
“I’d love to.” Y/N got up, smiling as she watched Grace get her arm floats on. Harry drank the last of his beer, saying something to Uncle Tim that Y/N didn’t catch. Aunt Rachel and Abby were already by the shore watching their children, so it seemed an appropriate time for the rest of them to go for a swim as well. Y/N took her stuff and walked around the table to Grace, putting her purse and hat with their things so they were more protected against the wind. Though it wasn’t a strong one, she still didn’t fancy her stuff flying off, never to be seen again. She took her trousers off first, then took her white transparent shirt off over her head.
She really liked the mint green colour of her bikini. A square bandeau top and a leg high waist bottom. She’d never worn it before, but in her haste to get away from Winchester, she’d grabbed it. Grace complimented it, grinning as she took it in and “wished she was as old as Y/N so she could wear nice bikinis like that.” Y/N noticed then that Harry hadn’t gotten up and gotten ready with them.
Looking over at where she knew he was seated, she found him already staring at her. With his chin slightly lowered and eyes glancing through his dark eyelashes, it was as if his intention had been to look away. He met her eyes and quickly looked away, his cheekbones flaring up. He coughed and hastily got up from where he was seated, knee bumping into the table in the process, causing some of the rice to go everywhere.
“Sorry!”
“What’s wrong?” Jessa asked, looking behind her at Y/N, and then back at Harry. “Did she make you flustered-“
“-No! No. No, I was not checking her out.” Harry walked over to Y/N and Grace, unbuttoning his shirt and placing it with Grace’s clothes.
“What’s wrong with that?! She’s your girlfriend, Harry.”
“Nay-“
“-You must’ve done it before if you two are together, surely you-“
“-Nanay!”
Grace took a grip of Y/N’s wrist and the two of them started walking toward the ocean. Grace giggled some beside Y/N as they heard more loud chatter behind them coming from their table.
“What?” Y/N asked, smiling down at the seven-year-old.
“Harry was checking you out.”
Y/N huffed, putting her hand on Grace’s shoulder, choosing not to say anything as doing so might make it all worse. She was sure Harry had just been deep in thought, maybe just waiting for Y/N and Grace to be done getting undressed, so he could do so as well without the bag area getting too crowded. No matter what, she was sure it had just been accidental. Regardless, Jessa was howling with laughter behind them now, so it was all forgotten. The girls quickly found out why Jessa had laughed, though.
Harry zoomed past them, running straight for the ocean in a pair of short yellow swimming shorts. Grace yelped in glee, shouting Harry’s name as she sprinted after him. Y/N watched the two of them, walking at a normal pace to let the siblings have some fun before she joined in. Harry ran into the ocean, water splashing up around him before he dove in. When he resurfaced again he whipped the hair out of his face before running a hand over it to get most of the water away.
He grinned from ear to ear at the sight of Grace following him, her small form not being able to lift her feet high enough to run at any proper speed. He walked over to her, lifting her off the ground, and as Grace knew what he was doing, she shifted her weight so she was on his back. Her arms barely made it around his neck with her floaties on. At the same speed as before, Harry ran back into the water, Grace laughing and squealing and clinging to Harry as water came up around them.
The sight melted Y/N’s heart. The two siblings had such an immense love for one another. They communicated so well, always knowing what the other one needed without needing to voice the actual words, and it was so beautiful to see them together. Especially like this.
“I want to jump from your shoulders,” Grace said, reaching for Harry’s shoulder in the water and trying to push him down.
He went underwater, taking Grace’s hands when she was settled, and then resurfaced. Grace screamed in delight, looking over at Y/N with the biggest beam on her face.
“Y/N! Watch this!” Grace jumped from Harry’s shoulders; chin lifted toward the sky as if that was going to prevent her from getting water all over her face. She giggled once she looked over at Harry again, begging him to let her do it again. He did it without hesitation, ducking underwater and letting Grace settle on his shoulders before he came up for air again. Y/N was nearing them now, water up to her ribs, and though it was a tad cold, it was nice to cool down a bit. The afternoon sun was extra hot today, and it didn’t help when they’d just been eating warm food with their hands and were all full.
“Y/N! Look at me!”
Grace let go of Harry’s hands balancing on his shoulders for a few seconds before she fell into the ocean again, giggling loudly. Y/N gave a short applause which seemed to have been the right response as Grace beamed back at her.
“Now you do it!”
Y/N blinked a few times. “Do what?”
“Get on Harry’s shoulders!”
“Gracie, I don’t think Y/N wants to-“
“-Don’t answer for her!” Grace pointed a warning finger at Harry and the sight made Y/N laugh. “Will you? It’s super fun!”
Y/N looked at Harry, putting her hands on her hips, smiling over at him. He smiled back, running a hand over his face to get most of the water off.
He was very soft. His belly protruded some from his swimming shorts and his love handles looked squishy, though his shoulders were broad and strong looking. It was no wonder why Grace always wanted her older brother to carry her, he looked to be a very good hugger. His biceps were beefy and tanned like the rest of him, muscle and a softness to him Y/N wasn’t sure she’d seen on anyone else before. She hoped he hadn’t caught her taking an extra good look at him.
“You think you can carry all this?” Y/N asked and Harry let out a small chuckle.
“Yes.” There was a slight pause, Harry blinking a few times and shaking his head before gesturing at his shoulders. “Yes. Yes, of course. Do you want me to go underwater?”
“No, I’ll just try and climb on.”
Grace watched as Y/N walked over, Harry walking a bit further out and lowering himself till his head was the only visible part of his body.
“Told you not to lower yourself, didn’t I?” Y/N laughed, putting her hands on his shoulders.
“Well, I don’t want you to jump off and hit the bottom!”
Y/N only laughed and she saw a smile on Harry’s face. She did a little jump, putting both feet on his hips before daring to put one on his shoulder. In doing so, Y/N realised how long of a torso this man actually had. Lifting her legs onto his shoulder was a challenge in itself.
“Here.”
Harry put his hands out in case she needed some help. Y/N took them, leaning on them as she lifted her other foot, putting it on his shoulder. She tried to stand, but before she’d even straightened her knees and back out, she felt herself tip backward. She felt Harry’s hands leaving hers and his shoulders disappear from under her feet. A little scream left her mouth before she fell underwater. When she resurfaced again, Grace was laughing and Harry was smiling at Y/N.
“Oh, me falling is funny, is it?” Y/N asked laughter in her voice. “Maybe I should stand on your shoulders next.”
“Nooo!” Grace tried to ward Y/N off, but Y/N walked toward her. Grace tried to run away and Y/N pretended to be running as fast as she could after her. “Harry!” Grace shouted, jumping into the water in front of her brother. He laughed, picking her up and jogging off, then tipping over and underwater, dragging Grace with him. Watching the two of them like that, and being out there, acting silly with them was the happiest Y/N thought she might’ve ever been.
The three of them went back to everyone else a short while after. Y/N and Grace spent a considerable amount of time building an impressive sandcastle, though it collapsed in the end, making Grace so mad she started crying a bit. After that, Y/N chatted some with Uncle Tim and a few other of Harry’s family members, listening to them talking more than anything else. She didn’t mind, though. She quite liked listening to others.
After a little while of Harry playing with his cousins in the sea, he walked up over to everyone else. It wasn’t till he’d dried off a bit and put his shirt back on that he asked if Y/N wanted to take a stroll. She put her loose trousers back on before she joined Harry, the two of them falling into step and walking in silence until all of his family members were out of earshot.
“Been to The West Beach Bakery?” Harry gestured at something that looked to be a restaurant in the distance.
“No, would you recommend?”
“Highly,” he said. “The sourdough pizza with some sangria on the side is ace.”
“Sounds lush.”
“We could’ve gone but-“ Harry patted his stomach and Y/N laughed. “Anyway, whenever you have the time. I would suggest going there.”
Y/N smiled. “Thank you.”
Harry smiled back, giving her a nod before he looked at the sand underneath his feet as they walked.
“Can I ask you a question?” she said as she felt a wave wash over her feet, wetting the bottom of her trousers. As Harry gave a small nod, she went on, “When you eat… your blood sugar levels rise, right? How do you regulate it? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“No, I don’t mind talking about my diabetes. I did before, but not anymore.” He gave her a little smile before he glanced ahead. “I use insulin therapy. So, for someone who doesn’t have type 1 diabetes, insulin will be produced and regulate your blood sugar levels. After you eat, carbohydrates break down into glucose, a sugar that is the body’s primary source of energy.”
Y/N knew this, but she liked listening to him and wasn’t about to interrupt when he was talking about something that affected his life to such a huge extent.
“Between meals, when insulin levels are low, the liver releases glycogen into the bloodstream in the form of glucose. This keeps the blood sugar levels within a narrow range. But if you have type 1 diabetes, your glucose levels will continue to rise after you eat because there’s not enough insulin to move the glucose into your body’s cells.”
“Ahh.” Y/N nodded.
“People with type 2 diabetes don’t use insulin efficiently and don’t produce enough insulin, while people with type 1 diabetes make little or no insulin. Insulin therapy for me and everyone else with type 1 is therefore vital for replacing the insulin my body doesn’t produce.”
“Gotcha.”
He was quiet for a few moments before he stammered, “I… I-I…” He frowned before he cleared his throat and went on. “I got diabetes when I was 11,” Harry started. “My Dad didn’t know what it meant at the time. He didn’t know that much about it; he went to a seminar at the local hospital to learn more about diabetes. Free for family members living with diabetics.”
Y/N nodded.
“I… I used to be overweight. I know I mentioned it briefly, but… are you comfortable talking about weight and body image, by the way? ‘Cause if not, we won’t-“
“-I’m fine, honestly. Thank you for asking, though,” Y/N smiled, motioning for Harry to continue talking.
“Well…” He readjusted the dark sunglasses on his nose. “I used to be bigger, I had some fat on my body. I knew it, my Dad knew it, and everyone who knew me did. I tried to hide behind baggy clothes and behind my humour, it made it easier for me to find confidence to hang around people.”
Y/N frowned a bit.
“But when I was 11… I started losing weight. It wasn’t intentional, it just sort of happened. I started going to the loo quite a lot, was always thirsty, was very irritable and had a lot of mood changes. That doesn’t happen to me, I’m a pretty nonchalant, calm person. So, my Dad knew something was wrong, especially when he realised how quickly I’d lost weight. We’re talking that I used to have a bit of a stomach and suddenly I didn’t anymore. It was strange for a 11-year-old.”
Y/N nodded. “What happened then?”
“He took me to the doctor, they directed us to the hospital, and they told me I had type 1 diabetes. They said my body had started burning muscle and fat for energy since it didn’t get enough energy from food. I hadn’t changed how I ate at all, not that I ate particularly unhealthy before, but it just happened.”
“How does it just happen?”
“Well, it can be genetic. It’s been running in my Mum’s side of the family, and it skipped her generation but latched onto me,” Harry said. “But basically, what happens is when glucose levels become high, the kidneys work to get rid of unused sugar through urine. This causes weight loss due to dehydration and loss of calories from the sugar that wasn’t used as energy.”
“Ahhh.”
“Kids who develop type 1 diabetes often lose weight even though they have a normal or increased appetite.” They fell quiet for a moment. “Sorry, this is probably very boring.”
“No! I’m studying- Or I’m trying to study for the UCAT, so I find it interesting and necessary to know. Also very honoured you wanted to tell me. Thank you.”
Harry shook his head, as if he was telling her he didn’t mind. He suddenly looked at her, narrowing his eyes. “You’re trying for the UCAT? You taking the piss?”
Y/N laughed and Harry joined in. “No, I’m seriously trying to read for it.”
“I thought you were interested in books. Like, a literature nerd or something.”
“Why, ‘cause I read a lot?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Harry chuckled, meeting her eyes for a second before looking away.
“Well, that’s more of a hobby, really,” she explained. “I want to become a dentist. Though… I’ve just turned 24, so… don’t know if I’m too old to be following my dreams. Everyone else taking the test is gonna be 17 or 18 or 19, and I’ll literally be the same age as their grandma.”
Harry laughed. “How’s the studying going, then? How are you getting on?”
“Okay. I’ve only read the first two chapters, but… it’s fun.”
He chuckled, buttoning some of his shirt so the wind wouldn’t get it. “Convincing.”
She smiled. “I’m sure I’ll get there. Somehow.”
“So,” he dragged it out, pursing his lips some. “What will you study at uni?”
“Dentistry.”
“Makes sense.”
She laughed. “You asked!”
“It completely slipped my mind that there’s a course dedicated to it.” He smiled at her as she chuckled some more. “Not my fault I didn’t remember it.”
“I’m going to forgive you this once.”
Harry smiled, in the light from the sunset, his skin was a glowing orange and the tips of his hair golden. “Right, as not to trigger anything else uni related,” he said, and Y/N giggled. “What’s your absolute favourite and least favourite book?”
She looked at him. “Ever?”
“Ever.”
Y/N inhaled, bringing her hand to her chin as she narrowed her eyes in thought. “My favourite has got to be Uses of the Erotic by Audre Lorde, and my least favourite is The Alchemist by Pablo Coelho. Though, Uses of the Erotic is an essay, really, but it’s the most profound text I’ve ever read.”
“Right, what’s it about?”
“Audre argues that eroticism, which has been inappropriately relegate to the domain of sex only, should instead be understood as a basic life force of vitality and creative power that guides us truthfully in all interactions. It’s the depth of feeling and engagement with ourselves and others. It relates to sexuality but doesn’t end there. It transcends all domains of life; domains we’ve been instructed to keep in neat, separate boxes.”
“Sounds interesting.”
Y/N smiled, nudging Harry’s arm with her shoulder.
“No! I genuinely mean it. It sounds interesting. I don’t really think of these things, so reading essays about stuff I don’t know much about is fascinating.”
“Exactly!” Y/N said. “As for The Alchemist… might just be that the English translation is bad, but it’s a poorly written book, for starters. It’s too philosophical, it’s full of boring, biased writing which tries to tell you that the world is controlled by destiny. There are also explicit religious themes that are hard for non-Christians to agree with. And the author’s extremely sexist.”
“You don’t believe in destiny?” Harry asked, taking Y/N a bit by surprise.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you said he tries to tell the reader the world is controlled by destiny. You don’t think the universe brings you someplace or something or offers you an opportunity ‘cause it’s got this already calculated and wonderful plan for you, and where you’re supposed to end up?”
Y/N thought about that for a second. “I’m more of a believer of energy and balance. If you give the universe goodness, it will return that goodness back to you. So, if you’ve given negative energy out into the universe and the people around you, you’ll get negativity thrown back to you. You won’t get that job offer, or you’ll have relationship problems, or your house might burn down.”
“Oi!” Harry laughed. “From 0 to 100 real quick.”
Y/N giggled. “But you know what I mean, yeah? You decide your own destiny, but opportunities will present themselves to you according to how you treat the universe.”
“Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from.”
She smiled, looking down at her feet as another wave ran lazily over them. “How do you like being a lightkeeper?”
“I love it,” he answered honestly. “I didn’t want to become one at first, but… but then my Dad died, you know. It kind of forced me to take over after him ‘cause I was the next one in line. Before he died, when I was 18, I moved into the lighthouse keeper residence. It was empty, Dad continued to live with Jessa until he died two years ago, I don’t blame him for it, to be fair. It’s very lonely living out here and Jessa loves people, but you know this.”
Y/N smiled.
“I was already living at the lighthouse, already kind of looking after it when my Dad wasn’t there, so it made sense for me to do it. And, after like a month and some of doing it alone, I found out that I didn’t mind at all.” He shrugged. “Not that I had to ‘settle for being a lightkeeper’ or that I felt ‘forced’ to do it, I wanted to. I realised that it was something that suited me well.”
“You don’t need to be there all the time?”
Harry beamed. “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?”
She chuckled.
“No, I don’t. I just need to make sure it’s in good condition.”
“What do you do then? You got any hobbies?”
Harry scrunched up his nose.
“What?!”
“You think I’m this boring bloke that just stares off into space when I’m not around people?”
Laughing, Y/N shook her head, making Harry chuckle some in response. “No, of course not! But surely you have hobbies, yeah?”
“Yeah, I play a bit of volleyball with some mates every once in a while, also really like watching volleyball matches on the telly. And I play the piano. I actually wanted to study music at uni before I decided I’d become a lightkeeper, I applied and everything.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, when we were teenagers, Dax, Jo, Amir and I made a band. Dax knows the guitar, and Jo wanted to sing, so Amir said he’d do drums, and I didn’t know what instrument I’d do, so I just chose the keyboard. My Dad had a piano as decoration at home, so I started just playing it, and I didn’t realise how much I enjoyed it till I was in a bookstore looking for piano books with my Dad.”
She smiled. “Do you still have the same piano at your house, or did you buy a new one?”
“My Dad got me a new one when I moved out. The old one’s at the farm.”
“Harry!”
The two of them turned around to see Grace running toward them, waving her arms and jumping up and down. She gestured behind her at their family packing up and Harry turned around, motioning for Y/N to follow him.
“Guess we’re leaving?” Y/N asked, though the sun setting and some of Harry’s younger cousins were asleep, so the family departing made sense.
“Yeah, it’s been a long day, hasn’t it?”
Y/N smiled. “A good one.”
Thursday, 25 June
The Kettle and Wink was a three-minute walk from the Inn. With the help of Google Maps on her phone, Y/N found the way very easily. With her green floral wrap dress and a pair of white Vans and some white socks, Y/N thought she looked pretty casual. The frill edge of her dress blew against her thigh as she walked down the Terrace. She hadn’t brought a cardigan as she didn’t think she’d need one, but now she hoped they’d be sitting inside seeing as the dark mixed with the ocean breeze would get a bit chilly as night wore on. She hadn’t expected it to be this nippy, so she’d just have to bite her teeth together and survive tonight.
Y/N wasn’t really sure what to expect from meeting Harry’s mates. She was sure there would be an abnormal amount of questions, both about her and their relationship. She didn’t know how much detail Harry was used to giving his friends and if they expected juicy gossip neither she nor Harry would be able to provide. Judging by the way Harry acted around her, she’d say he most likely didn’t like giving up every single little detail of his life. Some things he seemed to like being hidden, he wasn’t likely to open up about everything and that was okay.
The man himself stood by the entrance to Gabriel Street, his phone in his hand and a concentrated look on his face. He was wearing a pair of tall black Converse with white socks just visible under the cuffs of his light-washed loose denim trousers. He was wearing a wool-knitted carmine jumper, it wasn’t the thickest wool jumper Y/N had seen, but it looked light and perfect for the weather and temperature that day. A white tee shirt was visible under it, probably there in case he got cold later on.
“Hi,” Y/N greeted, smiling at Harry who jumped a little at the sound of her voice.
“Hi,” he said back, putting his phone in his pocket. His eyes travelled down her body automatically, taking in her summer dress and probably thinking to himself how stupid she���d been for wearing something that would undoubtedly have her freezing by the end of the night. “Ready?” He nodded his head up the street, probably in the direction of where the pub was.
“Yeah.”
The two of them started walking up, Harry opening the door for her when they reached The Kettle and Wink. It was fairly busy, but Y/N remembered how her father often went out for drinks with his friends on Thursdays and Fridays. Maybe that was something people did.
Upon entering, the bar was straight ahead, groups of people standing by the counter to order. Tables and booths were littered about the place, dim lighting making it so the dark wooden interior was hard to differentiate between the tables and the floor. There was a pool table that a group stood around, laughing loudly and each a pint in their hands.
“Harry!”
It came from the left side of the room, a table in the middle of a couple of others, a group of five sat there waving their hands and beaming from ear to ear. Harry turned to Y/N, giving her an apologetic smile.
“Listen, I know I keep saying this, but they’re a bit intense. I dunno why I keep befriending people that are,” Harry said, walking in front of Y/N to shield her from the worst of the comments and exclamations from his mates.
“I can’t wait to meet them.”
“Don’t tell them that, they’ll-“
“-Come here, you bugger!” A blonde bloke came into view, throwing himself at Harry and hugging him. Y/N quickly realised she’d seen him before. “You’re late.”
“It’s called taking our time.”
The blonde pushed away from Harry and turned his attention to Y/N, his brown eyes lighting up. “Good to see you again. Didn’t catch your name the time before.”
Harry’s head whipped around in Y/N’s direction, then back at the blonde, a furrow appearing between his brows. “What’s this?”
“Jo and I watched her stuff when she went for a swim, few weeks back, that,” he explained, smiling at Y/N. “No idea you would be Harry’s new beau.”
“Nice to see you again,” Y/N smiled.
“And you.” He brought his hand out, smiling at her. “I’m Dax.”
She took his hand. “Y/N.”
“Let’s see then, Haz! Move!” someone else shouted and Harry sighed, sitting down in one of the free seats, dragging the other free one closer to him to reserve it for Y/N. Dax motioned for Y/N to sit down and she did, giving him a smile as he took the seat beside her. Taking the purse off her shoulder, she placed it in her lap and looked around the table at Harry’s friends.
“Y/N, these are my friends. Gang, be nice. This is Y/N.”
“What do you mean ‘be nice’?” Dax asked, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, Y/N, you’re very much welcome here and we want you to feel like one of us, alright?”
“Sounds lush,” she smiled.
“So, what pronouns do you use?”
The question was so unexpected and thoughtful that Y/N was left gaping at Dax for a bit, a smile spreading out across her lips finally. “She, her.”
“Wonderful. I use he, him.” Dax gestured to the person sitting beside him to say something next. It was the blue-haired person Y/N had seen along with Dax at the beach. Both were pale, Dax a little broader and taller than his companion beside him, but they were seated close enough to each other so that Y/N knew they must be amazing friends.
“I’m Jordan, but you can call me Jo, I go by they, them.”
“I’m Amir! He, him, please,” the brown bloke beside Jo said, giving Y/N a little wave. He had his curly dark hair in a bun at the top of his head and a pair of round glasses on his nose, looking like the relaxed hipster type.
“I’m Ellie, I go by she, her, as well.” Short blonde hair tucked away behind pale ears, some of it coming loose when she grinned at Y/N. She reminded Y/N of a fairy.
“And I’m Fatima, she, her.” Harry sat back in his seat, revealing a brown-skinned golden princess, giving Y/N a small wink before she sipped her drink. “It’s so nice to meet you. H has kept you a secret.”
“I have not-“
Fatima nudged his leg with her knee under the table, raising her eyebrows at him. “Yes, you have. Dax hasn’t been talking about much else since.”
“What do you do when your best mate lies to ya?” Dax said, sounding very dramatic. “You wallow in sadness and cry yourself to sleep, that’s what you do.”
“Oh, come off it, Dax.”
“What were you doing hiding her from us anyway?” Jordan asked, picking up their pint and taking a sip. “Lovely to see you again, by the way, Y/N.”
“And you, Jo.”
“Right, I’m getting us something to drink.” Harry glanced over at Y/N. “Beer?”
“Yes, please.”
Harry gave her a small smile, and in it she could see a slight apology mixed with a short ‘good luck.’ She assumed he was afraid his friends would tear into her once he was gone, and though she was sure they were only eager to get to know her, she was kind of afraid of the same thing. They all seemed so lovely, but she was terrified she’d answer a question and contradict something Harry had told them or make it hard for them to believe her and Harry were a thing. These were such important people in Harry’s life, she didn’t want to disappoint them or Harry.
“So,” Ellie said, leaning her elbows on the table. “Why aren’t you living with Harry in the lighthouse? Judging by it, he still needs to blow some steam off.”
“El!” Fatima hissed, shaking her head at her in disbelief. “You’ve just met this person.”
“I’m curious!” Ellie turned her attention back on Y/N. “He’s so uptight sometimes, I just think he needs to relax for a bit. Blow a load.”
“Oh, my days.” Amir took his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“Maybe they haven’t had sex yet.” Jo shrugged their shoulders before looking at Y/N. “Sorry ‘bout this.”
Y/N smiled. “Oh, don’t even worry about it. But we live in separate places ‘cause the both of us need our space, it would overwhelm us to be around each other all the time. Especially when we haven’t really done so before.”
“I get it,” Fatima said, nodding her head. “You don’t want it to be too much too fast. You living with him for the summer would be like skipping five major milestones in your relationship, and you’d just jump to moving in with each other.”
“Exactly.”
“Harry’s also very private,” Dax continued. “No offence, Y/N, but he generally just likes being alone. He can play his piano, and write his songs, and work on his car, and be Harry.”
Y/N’s immediate response was to ask Dax if Harry really wrote songs because she hadn’t heard anything about that before. But asking that would be very suspicious and be a major give away. His girlfriend of all people would know if he writes songs, what kind of songs, and if he sings. He’d only ever mentioned that Amir sang in their band when they were teenagers, but he hadn’t told her if he himself sang some as well. She instantly started thinking about how his singing voice would sound.
“Harry told me you lot were in a band at one point,” Y/N said, causing Jo to howl with laughter and Amir to grin from ear to ear. “Care to elaborate, ‘cause he hasn’t.”
“That wanker, he really doesn’t like fun.” Dax leaned forward in his chair. “Right, so we were all big fans of Muse at one point, yeah? Proper wanted to perform at Wembley and be viewed as sex gods by every single person on Earth, that kinda thing.”
“I heard ‘sex gods’,” Harry said, putting a pint down on the table before Y/N. “And now I’m afraid.”
“Just tellin’ Y/N here how we used to be in a band.”
Harry looked from Y/N to Dax. “Then why were you talking about being sex gods?”
“First of all, shut up. Second,” Dax said, bringing his hands out and raising an eyebrow as he met everyone’s eyes one after one. “I’m right. Tell me I’m right.”
“You’re not right,” Ellie said, sipping her water.
“Astronaut Lions would’ve been immense if Jordan hadn’t decided to fuck off to uni,” Dax continued, sitting back in his seat.
“Amir can’t sing, so we were doomed either way,” Jo said.
“If it hadn’t been for our gig at Porthmeor Beach that summer, Harry wouldn’t have met Emilia.” Dax shrugged his shoulders. “That’s all I’m saying. We did work some wonders, did ‘cause some scenes, did make some magic. Cultural reset.”
“Oh, speaking of Emilia,” Fatima said, tapping the spot on the table close to Harry’s pint. “She’s coming back.”
Harry was quiet for a second. “Coming back?”
“Yeah, from her year abroad in Munich.”
Harry fell silent, then slowly started nodding his head, eyes falling to the pint he’d only taken one single sip of. Y/N tried not to frown as she watched Harry for a few seconds, tried not to get offended. Surely Harry would’ve told her who Emilia was if he felt comfortable doing so, but he hadn’t, so she shouldn’t feel like she was entitled to that information. But… she still felt left out. If someone around that table asked her about Emilia right that second, she wouldn’t know how to react or what to say. Glancing away from Harry, she kept her eyes on her pint for a few seconds till Ellie started talking.
“Is Munich big?” Ellie asked. “I imagine every single city in Germany to either be like, big like Berlin or a small village. That being said, it’s the most beautiful country in Europe, hands down.”
“Depends on what kind of big you’re talking about,” Y/N said, Amir making a ‘ooo’ sound under his breath and a cheeky grin on his face that caused Jo to give him a firm slap at the back of his head. “City population, it’s definitely in the top five. If we’re talking about big by area, it’s in the top three.”
“Had no idea,” Ellie said.
“I might be wrong, though, so don’t take my word for it,” Y/N said, quick to wave her hands around to dismiss the knowledge she’d just served.
Harry shook his head. “Don’t take her seriously when she says she might be wrong or when she tries to discredit herself. She wants to become a dentist.”
Y/N didn’t know where the correlation there was, but she was sure the sentiment was lovely.
“Wicked! Would we get a discount?” Amir grinned, bringing his pint up in a cheers before sipping it.
“Oh, my word, Amir,” Fatima sighed, and Y/N chuckled.
The rest of the night went by in a blur. Harry’s friends were so incredibly nice. They asked her questions, but made sure not to be too invasive or make her uncomfortable, something she really liked. They were already pretty tipsy, and as the evening went on, they all got drunk. Y/N and Harry were the only two who couldn’t be arsed to drink that much, so they rather watched over the gang as the volume got louder and the laughter more constant. The focus quickly shifted from Y/N and to everyone in the group, so Y/N sank back in her seat and just watched them interact.
As she zoned in and out of the conversation, she started thinking about Emilia. She hadn’t heard anything about an Emilia before. The thought of Harry maybe having dated before she arrived hadn’t crossed her mind once. She didn’t know if they’d even dated, but by the way Dax and Fatima talked about Emilia in relation to Harry, and the way Harry had reacted, made Y/N immediately draw the conclusion that the two had meant a lot to each other at one point. She tried not to think about it, knowing that it wasn’t really any of her business anyway. If Harry wanted to tell her, he would.
At one point, Dax tapped Y/N on the shoulder and when she looked in his direction, he had a big grin on his face, chin resting in his hand while he leaned his elbow on the table.
“Wonder what an average bloke like Harry did to earn your attention,” Dax said. “Don’t get me wrong, love the bloke, but you’re obviously… way out of anyone from down here’s league.”
She smiled. “In what way?”
“Wealthy.” Dax shrugged, as if it was a given. “Think Harry knows he’s in way over his head.”
Y/N frowned, not able to hold a slight chuckle back. “Pardon?”
“No! Didn’t mean it in a bad way, just that he’s never dated anyone that’s not from Cornwall before. But you probs knew that.”
Y/N hoped Dax didn’t notice the slight pause before she uttered a small, “Yeah.”
“Anyway, don’t wanna talk about that now, I don’t wanna make you feel bad in any way. How are you enjoying Cornwall?”
“It’s nice. Haven’t spent much time here, mostly travelled outside the UK.”
Dax nodded, blinking a few times as if he was confused. “But you… you met Harry in Newquay, yeah? So-“
“-Yes! Yes, I did.” Y/N felt her heart hammering fast in her chest, reaching for her pint and taking a quick sip to calm herself down. She couldn’t reveal actual information about herself, this was not the time. She had to lie. “Met in Newquay last summer.”
Dax nodded again, reaching over and tapping Harry on the arm. “Mate, when did you go to Newquay last summer?”
Harry’s mouth opened, but then quickly closed again. Y/N suddenly realised they’d said Harry’s trip to Newquay was a lads trip. That was the lie they were going with for how they met on the beach there. But Harry’s ‘lads’ were everyone around this table. Again, a spike of hot adrenaline exploded in Y/N’s chest. A sudden sense of horror took over and she racked her brain for what to say.
“Don’t remember you going to Newquay, was it a short trip, then?” Jo joined in, a furrow to their eyebrows.
“Yeah.” Harry cleared his throat. Y/N sensed the panic in Harry’s demeanour and hoped no one else did. “Yeah, Uncle Tim and I went.”
“Uncle Timmy?” Dax frowned as well, pursing his lips as he thought. “Alright. Yeah. Yeah, you were gone for about a week?”
“Five days,” Harry said. Great detail, Y/N thought. If the two of them were specific and detailed then no one could tell them they weren’t being truthful.
“Maybe it’s just cos you don’t leave your bloody house that we don’t remember,” Amir laughed. “Who knew a five-day holiday in sodding Newquay would leave you with a girlfriend?”
Harry looked at Y/N, the two of them sharing a look she wasn’t able to properly decipher. However, looking back, she was sure she could see some sort of gratitude in there somewhere, mixed with relief that they managed to get out of a situation that could’ve been much stickier hadn’t they kept their heads somewhat cold. The conversation quickly shifted to something else, much to both Harry and Y/N’s satisfaction.
Y/N started yawning at one point, both a reaction to the small amount of alcohol in her system and her early start that morning. It didn’t take long for Harry to join in, though it took about 30 minutes for them to actually look at one another and nod towards the door. Harry announced their departure to boos from his friends, but they were quick to wish them both a goodnight. Fatima made Y/N promise she’d hang out with them again soon; the gang had barely gotten to know her, and they were very eager to. Y/N promised, knowing fully well that because of the intoxicated state of which the lot around the table were in, they would most likely have trouble remembering most of the questions they’d asked her and what they’d been talking about anyway.
Harry held the door open for Y/N, giving his friends a wave before the two of them started walking back down the same way they’d come. Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, her shoulders shaking for a second as she realised how cold it was out. She supposed it was both the wind and how tired she was that made her have this reaction to the evening chill. Once again, she cursed herself for not having brought a cardigan. She composed herself, looking at Harry as he came up beside her.
“You cold?”
“The Inn is just a 3-minute walk from here, I won’t die-“
But Harry didn’t seem to bother listening to her. Instead, he reached for the hem of his jumper and brought it over his head in one swift move. He gave it to her, his hair an absolute mess and lips parted in anticipation of her reaching for his item of clothing. Biting her lip, she took his warm jumper and put it over her dress. Upon dragging it over her face and letting it settle on her, she was hit with an overwhelming smell of mixed cardamom, saffron, sandalwood, and vetiver.
“Better?”
“Thank you,” she said, giving him a smile as they took the turn down towards the Terrace. “But you really don’t have to walk me home. The lighthouse is so far off, plus it’s in the opposite direction.”
“I’ll call someone, and they’ll drive me home.” Y/N gave Harry a look at that and Harry only let out a small breathy chuckle, shrugging his shoulders as if the next statement was an obvious indicator enough as to why he was walking her back. “It’s dark out.”
She smiled at that and looked away. They were quiet for a second before the question that had been eating away at Y/N all night finally slipped from between her lips. “Emilia, your ex, right? She’s coming back to stay, then?”
Harry shrugged, a slight redness appearing around his neck and cheeks. “Dunno. Haven’t talked to her since she broke up with me.”
Y/N furrowed her brows. “She broke up with you?”
Harry smiled a little. “You sound shocked.”
“Don’t know… I don’t know how your relationship ended or why, but you seem like a nice lad.”
“Cheers,” Harry chuckled, Y/N couldn’t hold her own back. “Nice lads can be broken up with, though.”
“Yeah, I suppose they can.”
Harry fell quiet, shoving his hands into his jean pockets as he thought for a few seconds. “She… She broke up with me around the time my Dad died.”
That made the frown in between Y/N’s brows deepen. The blush in Harry’s cheeks got redder and Y/N looked away, not wanting to overwhelm him by staring him down while he was talking.
“Said she couldn’t be with someone who was so depressed, it affected her own mental health. Which is all very valid, so I’ve never been mad at her for it. If me being sad and depressed affected her in any way, then she had every right to walk away. Last thing I ever wanted to do was be a negative factor in her life, you know what I mean?”
Y/N nodded, opening the door of the Inn and walking inside, stepping onto the stairs as Harry closed it after himself. “Yeah, I can see that.”
Harry followed her up the stairs as he spoke. “After Emilia and I broke up, that’s when Jessa and Grace started obsessing over me and how I was always alone in the lighthouse.”
Y/N smiled a little at that, getting her keys from her purse. “At least they care about you, right?”
“Yeah,” Harry leaned against the wall beside Y/N’s door, hands still in his pockets. “At least they do.”
She only shook her head some, unlocking her door. “Thanks for following me all the way back.” She gestured at her room. “Literally.”
He let out a breathy chuckle. “No need to thank me, Y/N.”
She bit her bottom lip, stepping into her room as Harry pushed off the wall. “Thanks for tonight.”
“Yeah, it was fun.”
She leaned her head against the door. “Goodnight.”
He nodded in response before turning and walking down the stairs. Y/N closed the door and when she went to take her purse off, she gripped into wool. She was still wearing Harry’s jumper. Standing by the window, she saw Harry on the phone with someone, walking at a nonchalant pace and smiling at something the other person said, his dimples already showing. She turned around, looking at herself in the mirror beside the dresser, an overwhelming scent of cardamom, saffron and sandalwood surrounding her. The carmine was almost completely black in the darkness of her bedroom, the oversized soft jumper hung to just under her bum, nearly covering her entire dress, and for some reason, she liked the sight of the woolen jumper on her better than the green summer dress underneath. It wasn’t knitted and crafted for her, but wearing it felt almost natural.
However, it wasn’t hers. She took it off, folded it, and placed it on her desk. She’d have to pop by Harry’s with it in the morning, but for now, it would have to lay safe and folded neatly in her bedroom.
NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 30 August, 9PM GMT!
A HUGEE thank you to my amazing and beautiful beta readers!
🌊 @aileenacoustic 🌊 @bopbopstyles 🌊 @fromyourstrulyh 🌊 @harrys-creature 🌊 @honeydearly 🌊 @summerfeelng 🌊 @watermelonsuger 🌊 @withallthelove-a 🌊
#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles fic#1dff#LETS GOOOO ST NATION 🏄✨#PLS DO COME CHAT ONCE YOU'RE DONE READING ILYSM 💖
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hi ive been seeing the stuff about tom and zendaya .. ik that celebrity culture and codependency on literal strangers is so damaging but im guilty of contributing to that phenomenon. i have a massively delusional crush on tom and find so much joy in watching his interviews, video compilations, and reading fanfics but its really just this idealized version of his persona that is portrayed to the general public and not who he really is (bc i will never know). when looking at the matter objectively, ik im just in love with the idea of him and its just an unrealistic fantasy i have as a sense of escapism but sometimes i cant help how attached i am to my own perception of him. today especially i feel ridiculously insecure about myself seeing him with zendaya even though shes the prettiest and sweetest girl. im a fan of both of their work and adore them (as much as i can as a literal stranger to them lol) and they deserve to be happy and find peace together (individually as well) but i feel like im a bad person for fantasizing about him and feeling jealous of her. i dont know how to get over this mindset besides finding other unhealthy distractions. do you have any advice in managing this ? thank you <3
Here is the thing with celebrities, we make up personalities for them in our heads. You’re probably thinking “kat that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said” first off, no it’s not trust me. Second off, we do. We see only what they want us to see. We get an idea of them from our screens and then we let our imaginations go crazy. Sometimes, we set standards for celebrities and we forget they have their own lives too. At least you’re recognizing you’re a stranger to tom and z, and to their friends and families. I think first thing you can do is remove yourself from the internet for a bit, take a deep breath and start focusing on yourself and what you have in front of you. Second off, journal this energy you feel. Don’t let it bottle up, third of all, remembering that you have so much in front of you now that maybe they want what you have and will never know
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The House of the Rising Sun (Number 5 x reader)
A/N: This is an unfinished fic ive had in my drafts for well over a year,, enjoy? based of s1
Crime rates had never been higher, gangs ravaging the city any opportunity they got dealing class A narcotics and carrying out random acts of violence. No one leaves their houses at night, as soon as the sun sets the streets would empty and complete anomie would take place. One ‘gang’ were set above the rest, they were practically the equivalent of the mafia, all dressed in a smartly pressed uniform and operating throughout the entire city, the Umbrella Academy. Rumour has it they all had ‘powers’ of some sort, making them the most powerful gang, even if they didn’t have their ‘powers’ they would still be in the lead having very high levels of violence between them.
The Umbrella Academy all had nicknames, a mere murmur of the said names would send people running like scared dogs, tails between their legs. The most feared of the Umbrella Academy was The Boy, just as him name suggested he was the one no one knew anything about, yes there was rumours but never any solid facts. The Boy had apparently travelled to the future, has a kill count of hundreds and can appear in a flash of blue from thin air, but these are just mad rumours that drift round town.
Dusk set upon the city but you didn’t notice, too busy finishing bouquets in your shop. You ran a small florists on the outskirts of the town, you never caused any trouble and had never stayed late until today. You glanced out the window and gasped, looking at the pitch black sky, feeling your heart rate increase at the thought of walking four blocks in the gang ridden town. As quickly as you could you close the shop, making sure the doors were locked and the solid metal shutters were firmly shut. You leave by the back door, locking it and closing the shutter yet again, not leaving your small life source of a shop to the vengeance of raging gangs who carry out pointless crimes.
Shadows hid your small frame as you quickly walked home, defenceless, hoping to miss anyone out at the late hours of the night. Unfortunately, luck was not playing on your side, from the shadows you could make out a group of lads making their way threateningly down the street. All you could do is pray that you wouldn’t get spotted in the dark shadows.
“Well what do we have here?” You quickened your pace somehow thinking that you could move away from them but you were wrong. You were surrounded like you were feeding bread to a flock of seagulls, if the seagulls were feral and had rabies it would mirror how afraid you were at that moment.
“Sorry!” Is all you were able to squeak out as you were roughly pulled out from the safeness of the dark into the centre of the group, your bag getting ripped off your back. Your frozen, watching them go through the contents of your bad, dumping out all your papers and pens that you had in your bag until finally finding your purse. “Please don’t it’s all I have.”
As soon as the words left your mouth you were on the ground, a numbing pain shooting through the side of your head, you could see heavy droplets of blood hit the floor as your nose bled from the impact. Another sharp impact landed against your ribs as a sob wracked through your shaking body, unable to comprehend how quickly the events had escalated, all you could do now is wait for the next impact but it never came.
“Hey, assholes!” The voice was crisp and sharp, dripping with confidence and authority. “Pick on someone your own size.”
Coins fell to the floor as the gang dropped your bag and your purse and ran, you couldn’t even look up, the thought of someone more threatening than an entire group sent shivers down your hurt body. You didn’t hear footsteps, all you saw from your peripheral vision a blue light and a dark figure. The rustling sound of papers cut through the silent street and the harsh zip of your bag startled you.
“You need to see someone about that.” You look up and were met with none other than The Boy, the most questioned of the Umbrella Academy, dressed in a smart uniform, domino mask securely covering his identity. His fingertips lightly brushed the side of your head, causing you to flinch away. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said unconvincingly, emotions hidden by the mask.
He held your now packed bag out to you, you lifted yourself off the floor, wincing as you did so. You cautiously took your bag from The Boys hand, holding it loosely in your hand. Taking a step, you stumble, your side collapsing in on it’s self, The Boy caught you, putting his arm around your waist to steady you.
“Here, let me help you home, where do you live?” In your shattered state you told him, and in a blink of blue you were at your door. You messily fumble with your keys as your shaking hands roughly push your door open, dropping your bag into your small apartment.
“Thank you.” The mask clad boy stood before you, hands in his shorts pockets.
“It’s okay,” You couldn’t see his eyes but you knew they were scanning over your body. “Make sure to get your injuries checked over, they got you pretty hard y/n.” Then he was gone.
You lock your door and double check your windows, securing them before limping over to your bathroom, looking at your beaten form in the mirror. Red marks spread over your face and the side of your body, bruising already starting to form, blood stained your white patterned shirt with a now ruined name tag, the thought of work taking over your thoughts, well not all of your thoughts. The Boy was also on your thoughts, his cold emotionless face, half covered by a domino mask, contrasted with the softness of his words, the caring nature of his touch. He’s a crime lord, a dangerous man, yet he showed kindness to you.
Five was angry, he was angry with himself that he didn’t get there quick enough to stop them hurting y/n. She was the only pure thing left in the city and they went for her, defenceless. Five would’ve killed them on the spot if he didn’t want to hurt y/n any more than she already was. He wasn’t actively going out of his way to find y/n, she was sunshine in a grey and broken world.
“Five,” He hadn’t even finished teleporting into his room before Luther started speaking. “We’re not meant to be out on the streets. What were you doing?” Luther’s big frame towered over Five, attempting to threaten him.
“I was out doing what were meant to be doing, keeping our authority through the streets. Haven’t you heard that they’ve been saying we’re weak.” Five snarled at his brother prompting Luther to sigh then walk out. It wasn’t always like this, they could’ve been heroes but Mr Hargreeves only saw the darkness and the powers within them, he made them the best at being the worst and for some it was the end of the line.
An aching agony wracked through your fragile body as your head pounded like a thousand drummers sounding the beating retreat. You hoped a shower would ease any of the pain, warm water running over all of your bruises, the side of your body looking like a black and blue watercolour along your ribs. Your work clothes were just casual, simple, it was one of the upsides of owning your own business. However, you did have an apron, it had different flowers embroidered on it and a simple name tag. A name tag now covered in blood.
Quiet music softly played in the background of your flower shop, you swept the floor in time to the music, swaying your hips as you did so. Heading back to the storage room, you heard the bell to the shop chime, a welcoming noise.
“Hey, how can I help?” The man seemed startled, looking up at the arrangement of bouquets and flashing a quick smile.
“I’d like some flowers for my mom,” He almost hesitated with his words, a soft peach colour present on his cheeks. “I saw your shop yesterday and couldn’t remember the last time anyone had got her any.”
“Awe, that’s super sweet, have any of the bouquets caught your fancy or does she have a flower preference?” The boy in front of you was about the same age as you, maybe older, he had sharp features but they were even out by the softness of his eyes.
He thought for a moment, searching the deepest parts of his brain. “Lilies, she likes lilies.” You smile at his words before looking round your small, compacted shop for any pre-made bouquets.
“We don’t have any made up right now but if you come back,” You look at the clock, thinking about a convenient time for him to come back. “In about 2 hours I’ll have one made up for you?” You give him a sweet smile as he nods. “Great! If you want you can leave your name and number so I can text you when its done.”
You watch him messily write his details on a post it note. Peeling it off the block, you stick it to your notice board, looking at his name as you did so. Five. “I’ll send you a text once your bouquets done!”
“Ok, thank you,” He hesitated as he strained to read your name tag. “Y/n.”
“No problem, Five.” You see a small smile break out on his face as he left the shop. The rest of your day dragged as a slow drip of customers drifted in and out of the shop. You made a large bouquet of different types of lilies for Five, taking extra care to arrange them in the prettiest way you could, making it extra special for his mom.
You admire your handy work, loving when you get special orders being able to be as creative as you want. You send a text to Five saying that he can drop in any time from now until closing to pick them up, you get an almost instant response sending his thanks.
Shouting echoed down the street, sharp crashing of glass cutting through the air. Smoke drifted like ghosts down the street as screams echoed down the road of people coughing, spluttering grasping for breath. Peering out your shop window you saw them again, the lads from the night before, petrol bombs in hand ready to throw. You had to consider you options, quick, close the shutters quickly and run out the back or just run out and risk that they recognise you.
Quickly, you pulled the shutters down as you hear the unruly lads shouting get louder, you think your safe but then you remember the window upstairs, wide open, vulnerable. Taking two steps at a time but you were halfway to the window and heard a ‘get the flower shop’.
A flame like a rabid hare shot past you, shattering on the ground followed by another, hitting the window dead on surrounding you in flame, no escape in a smoke filling room. Smoke licked the walls as smoke danced in your lungs, making you feel lightheaded, blurring you vision. The floor burnt as you dropped to your knees, trying to take in any remaining oxygen, begging for your eyes not to close.
As Five walked back to the flower shop only to be met with shouting, screaming and sirens, noticing the smoke in the air he quickened his pace, only to break out into a sprint at the sight of the small flower shop in flames. He couldn’t see y/n out in the street in front of the shop, in a blind panic he blipped into the shop, looking round and seeing smoke pouring down the stairs, dread filling his body. In a blink of an eye he was in the burning room, finding y/n unconscious on the floor, he grabbed her body and as quickly as he could in the haze of the smoke.
He flashed to the academy, roughly shaking y/n shoulder. “Y/n,” He checked she was still breathing. “y/n please. Wake up. Mom!” Grace came round the corner, watching her son frantically shake an unconscious body.
“What’s wrong, dear?” Grace’s calming voice did nothing to sooth the panicking boy, she looked at the girls flame licked skin. “Take her to the medical room, Five.” Without another word Five had flashed upstairs, Grace beginning jogging up the stairs wrapping her medical apron around her as she did.
You gasp awake, proceeding to cough up whatever smoke settled in your lungs. You didn’t recognise the room around you, it didn’t look like any normal hospital, or even a hospital at all. Panicking at the foreign surroundings you drag yourself out of the bed, body screaming out at the heat in your arms and palms from the fire, the fire, your shop. Before even having time to comprehend the series of unfortunate events that led you up to this point, a woman walked in, sending heaving 1950/60′s vibe.
“Hello dear, I’m Grace.” Grace had a soft voice but it didn’t sound quite right, it sounded almost robotic, not human.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.” You pushed past her and hope to find a way out of the large eerie house you were in. Panic mode overtook your whole body as you tried to find any way out, footsteps echoing behind you as Grace tried to catch up with you but you saw the front door and ran for it.
“My dear, you can’t go yet!” But you had already ran out the door, it being left wide open behind you, sprinting down the street probably looking like a madman but in that moment it didn’t matter to you, you had to get out.
#The Umbrella Academy#Umbrella Academy#number 5#number five#five hargreeves x reader#number 5 x reader#number five x reader#number five imagine#number five oneshot#number 5 imagine#five hargreeves imagine#this is so old and unfinished but al post it anyways
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its scary that july isnt that far away :( like my summer break begins the last week of june and im so scared cause im moving out the end of summer!!!
so far id recommend 25 21, i watched it because of a scene on tiktok and i love nam joo hyuk a lot!! i find him extremely attractive but i dont know if thats just me? i havent watched business proposal but i may try to watch it over spring break which starts this week!!!
i love binge reading things though its very satisfying to read a whole story in one go!!
much, much love
-💍anon <333
omg!! that's exciting though!! i was going to move out right before corona but i couldnt bc of the pandemic and now the rents are so high so im stuck till next year rip
man ive been in love with nam joohyuk since weightlifting fairy, he's easily the prettiest man ive ever seen i watched every single drama of his im so sad that i cant watch 25 21 right now :(
there are times where i read fanfics till like 6am especially sm aus i go like i have to finish this today dhjsk its really unhealthy for me to do but i cant help it i gotta know what happens next
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