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#the metatron ew
goodomens-girlie · 3 months
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WHO WAS GONNA TELL THE ACTOR WHO PLAYS THE METATRON IN GOOD OMENS IS GAY AND MARRIED??
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HELLO??
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nightgoodomens · 7 months
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Satan: Hey, God?
God: Why do you always call me so late?
Satan: I’m the child of darkness.
God: You’re my child, you idiot.
Satan: Oh we’re back to parenting responsibilities? Hilarious. Anyway. Can you watch Hell for me for one night?
God: What? No!
Satan: Come onnnnn.
God: I can send Metatron over.
Satan: Ew. No.
God: Why not?
Satan: He had Aziraphale leave Crowley and you want him to watch my home? Don’t be sick.
God: Aziraphale made his own choice.
Satan: A stupid ass choice, but I’m not here to argue, I’m busy with important things.
God: Why do you want a night off?
Satan: Crowley invited me out.
God: You’re… you’re going on a date?
Satan: Why, you’re jealous?
God: Of who?
Satan: Touché. Your son is asleep not making any more wine, so we’re going to nightclubs to get shitfaced, and probably die of alcohol poisoning. If you just watched the space for one night…
God: You’re not supposed to be going to Earth!
Satan: Said who?
God: Me!
Satan: Well, you don’t make the rules here, so.
God: It is in your contract!
Satan: Actually, Crowley read my contract and explained it all to me, and said it’s bullshit and you can’t hold me accountable to anything, because when you casted me out any contracts between us broke, so having Metatron spew out this bullshit just before you kicked me out was a waste of time.
God: …
Satan: :)
God: …
Satan: I will go and get dressed then. CROWLEY, WE ARE GOING OUT.
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ineffable-ezra · 7 days
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SCRATCH EVERYTHING IVE SAID ABOUT HOW I WANT AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY'S REUNION TO GO. THIS IS WHAT I WANT:
Aziraphale: The Metatron was talking shit about you
Crowley: [gasp] that BITCH!
Aziraphale: I know right? Like, ew, I don't even know her
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haydenn · 8 months
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I don’t know if I totally buy any of the current theories out there, but there is so much fuckery happening in the last sequence with the Metatron. And the thing I keep coming back to is that there is something fucking huge that we as the viewers are missing.
Firstly, when the Metatron suggests that he and Aziraphale need to have “a bit of a chinwag” Aziraphale implies that they’ve already had this conversation. The line is “I don’t believe there’s anything left to be said. I’ve made my position quite clear.”
The only time we’ve seen these two characters speak to each other on screen is at the end of season one. And that conversation is definitely not what Aziraphale is referring to. Further more, Aziraphale’s eyes shift in Crowley’s direction multiple times while he says that line. Az and the Metatron had a conversation that we did not see and that conversation either featured Crowley in some significant way or Aziraphale has intentionally not mentioned it to Crowley. Possibly both.
Secondly, there’s the coffee. Which I won’t go in to too much. It’s been analyzed to death at this point, but it’s fucky nonetheless.
Thirdly, the way the Metatron looks at Crowley as he’s leaving the shop is nothing short of chilling. The ominous music is an obvious clue that something is up, but the expression on the Metatron’s face is so full of loathing. It’s not an “ew, demon, gross” expression that the other angels give him. It’s pure, vindictive hatred and it feels so personal.
Fourthly, there is no part of the Metatron and Aziraphales conversation that we see on screen that Aziraphale isn’t narrating back to Crowley. We as the viewers have no idea what they really talked about. We just have to take Aziraphale’s word for it. The only part we see is the Metatron telling Az to “go and tell your friend the good news” and there is so much fuckery in this scene too!
The Metatron initially says “You don’t have to answer immediately. Take all the time you need.” And then when Aziraphale says “I don’t know what to say,” the Metatron takes that for an agreement and tells Az to “go and tell your friend the good news.” But Az never says yes. We never see him actually agree to go back to Heaven. We only get that in following scene when Az is relating what was said to Crowley.
Fifthly, for all the “good news” that Az has to tell Crowley, when he crosses the street back to the bookshop, he doesn’t look excited. He looks nervous and kind of scared. We don’t see him start to look even remotely excited until right before he starts talking. Aziraphale constantly has his emotions written all over his face. It’s a very intentional acting choice from Michael Sheen. Which leads me to believe that if Aziraphale was meant to be genuinely excited in this scene, it would have be all over his face from the moment we saw him outside with the Metatron. But it’s not. He schools his features into excitement right before he starts talking to Crowley.
This, for me, makes all of the flustered excitement with which he tells Crowley about the Metatron’s offer feel really disingenuous. It feels forced and slightly out of character because we fucking saw Aziraphale be not at all excited before he walked into the bookshop.
And finally, when the Metatron comes into the bookshop after Crowley leaves he asks “how did he take it?” And that is such a weird thing to say if he sent Az in there to tell Crowley “good news.” That’s not something that needs to be asked about good news. Good news is almost universally well received. You only really need to ask how news was taken if the news in question was bad.
The Metatron’s tone and mannerisms are also really different here then they were in the scenes before. Before he was giving off kindly, if a little creepy, grandfather vibes. Once he comes back into the bookshop he seems to have dropped that act. He’s not surprised that Crowley said no. He’s not at all bothered by or has any compassion for Aziraphale’s obvious distress. And his tone much more brusque and businesslike. Almost like he’s saying “Got that messy business with the demon sorted, have we? Jolly good. Let’s get on.” It’s a very notable shift from how we’ve seen him behave up to this point and it feels a hell of a lot more like how we’ve seen the Metatron be in Heaven with Gabriel’s trial or when he spoke to Az in season 1.
As I said before, I don’t know if I’m 100% on board with any of the theories I’ve seen. But everything about this sequence is weird and contradictory. There’s something so damn fucky about it and all of the context clues point to there being some vitality important piece that we are missing. The whole sequence is just screaming “There’s something very very wrong here. Do not believe your eyes and ears. All is not as it seems.” And I am going to be losing my damn mind over it until season 3 comes out.
Why has Neil done this to us?
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violet-yimlat · 3 days
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Alright, hold still so I can stab you with the antidote.
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Ugh I hate needles.
Almost as much as I find myself liking the Metatron.
Ew.
Look, it’s not that I don’t want to, and I normally need this with needles anyway, but someone’s gonna have to hold me down. Physically.
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musingsofmaisie · 8 months
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The Magic Trick You Didn't See
@ariaste I just finished reading your analysis. Interesting. Not sure I'm completely on board with your primary hypothesis, but you raise some very interesting points. Kudos for doing it.
Link to @ariaste piece here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/edit
I do have a few places where my thinking diverges from yours though.
First, on Aziraphale and Angel now-Crowley's meeting in Before the Beginning: I think the primary purpose of this scene was to establish that Crowley still possesses a Tool of Creation (that in S1 we assumed was merely a part of his exploded Bentley) and that this will be important in the denouement. He KISSES it, for goodness' sake. That, and of course that Angel now-Crowley was a joyful and precious innocent who didn't deserve his fate.
Go back to S1E5 when he mentions Alpha Centauri and "I worked on that." We are also given the distinct impression that Crowley was an angel of considerable rank and power. Seeing Crowley in Heaven with Muriel and the way he was treated by the leadership-can I get a "deferentially" here?-is a setup for the reveal of his identity. There are files! Aziraphale can request them! Aziraphale finding out the truth is to me the macguffin that will 1) make him realize that heaven is not the place of "truth, light and good" and 2) catalyze whatever action that brings the tale to its conclusion.
When Crowley interrogates Jim-the "It hurts!" "I KNOW! Do it anyway!" and "Yeah, like the places where the furniture used to be" both strongly indicated to me that Crowley was speaking from experience-that he had had his memory wiped when he Fell-and has recovered some, but not all of it. Hence the offer of a hot chocolate. Empathy. (I think this what he meant by "Ask him properly.")
Later, when he tries to explain Gravity to Jim, I got the feeling that that was one of the places where the furniture used to be. (And also not remembering Saraquiel and Furfur).
Second, in the story of Job, it's being told directly from Aziraphale's point of view, that's why I assumed, in his recollection, that Crowley Bildad the Shuhite was wearing cool shades. And this is also where Aziraphale makes reference that he knew the angel Crowley used to be. Before the Garden of Eden. And Crowley says "the angel you knew is not me". Rather harshly, I thought.
Currently rereading "the Crow Road" and annotating it. There do seem to be some compelling parallels so far. Makes me wonder when Muriel will get to Aziraphale's journals. Like you, I suspect that's where we're going next. I can't figure out the timeline, though. It seems like the next scene has to take place many years from now.
This is getting too long so I'll wrap up by saying that I'm convinced that NG would not foist on us a plot device that wraps up S3 like Bobby "It was all a dream" Ewing from the last season of Dallas. It would be a violation of his own writing ethos and his commitment to doing something that would make Terry proud. The Metatron is literally a Deus ex Machina, but I don't think that NG would rely solely on him-or that technique-to conclude the story.
We all want our heroes to get their happy ending. But knowing Neil's knack for the twist in the storyline, I' don't think I'm not sure that it will look like what we think it will.
Cheers,
Maisie
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myapathyhaspeaked · 9 months
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ok but now i’m just thinking like…everyone that wasn’t there for the nonsense is going to be so confused.
cus think about it the demons downstairs are just going to be crowded into a shoddy assembly hall with ac that makes racket but still does nothing because it’s hell and be told heyyyy soooo… beelzebub, the boss of hell? yeah ze’ve gone off with the (former) supreme archangel of heaven for like love reasons (yeah, ew, we know). so now we have a new leader. and it’s not dagon or hastur or any of the hell royalty, it’s this random demon that’s only been out of administration duty for four years tops (also there is a spot open for temptations if anyone wants it). also the traitor to hell had something to do with it bc of course he did, just stop trying to talk with him it doesn’t go well apparently. ok back to work.
and then heaven…oh boy heaven. because michael and uriel and whatnot are not there for aziraphale being told he’s fit to be the supreme archangel of heaven. shit, considering the fact that michael was trying to be the stand in boss as soon as gabriel left, they’re definitely expecting themselves to be made boss. so theyre just going to see aziraphale come up to heaven with the metatron and get told “hey, the guy that’s given us nothing but trouble? he’s in charge now!” and you know the metatron is going to tell them to go along for scheme reasons but it’s not going to be easy when aziraphale keeps trying to make heaven not suck like you know michael is going to be seething because he keeps procrastinating the second coming. and just consider the lower angels. as far as they know, the traitor to heaven has just been promoted to *supreme archangel of heaven* because their blockheaded bastard of a boss fell in love with a demon and ran away into the stars??? and now they have to listen to him (maybe, who knows if people are going to respect the title)??? also muriel, that 37th order scrivener that was probably only on earth because they found the matchbox? yeah they’re now in charge of angel duties on earth (or london? are there more angels/demons assigned to cities has neil said?) because they happened to be there. like not even one of the types of angels that are meant to interact with people, like the types in charge of messages or guarding or protecting groups and places, no just like a scribe that isn’t even really meant to leave their office.
like geez louise it’s going to be one hell/heaven of an office day
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Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 10x10 The Hunter Games
“Never watched the hunger games.” “It feels like they expanded Hell.” “Oh hey it’s that bitch” “What kind of spell is it? Is that supposed to give him the dream? Or does that read his thoughts? I don’t quite understand” “You’re going to let that eat you up? It’ the fkn apocalypse man” “Heads gotta roll” “That bitch ate a lot of cheeseburgers” “Can’t he just like man armshake and give it to someone else?” “That was a very delayed look up to the camera. The way they cut it” “He probably just fucked himself depending on what he signed” “So did she know that he was king before all this?” “Is it implied that they kept doing this kind of thing over the years?” “your mama” “It’s going to be fkn Metatron. Goddammit” “they totally should” “I’ll ask the questions here” said in a mocking way “That’d be good for a screenshot. It’s also revenge time” “It’s your ass. You know why? It’s because they’re in the Ass-toria” “Ok Lady Gaga” laughter
“Ew” “where’d that run off to? I don’t remember” I don’t remember either
Laughter
“What the fuck are we doing?” “what the hell are we making?” “Did you notice the cleavage? Figured I’d ask” Of course I did
“Why would you want to put that anywhere near your bones? What if something happens?” “They didn’t do a very good job of making him sound angry. Like the microphone was too far away or something” “so the bottle had a label on it when he was drinking up close. See? No label now. Maybe it’s turned out. Idk. And the way it’s showed to the camera. No label again” “Isn’t that just emoji now? I don’t even remember’ “That’s a lot of fire so close to your bones there bud” “that’s not fkn good” “Where’d she get that?” “that was really well done. I liked that bit of story” “It would be more Crowley’s character to doubt, and he’s not. Idk how to word that actually.” “Are these fkn demons or something?” “That’s good, because Metatron is actually kinda afraid of Dean” “Did Kevin only last 1 season or 2?” “That was fkn awesome” Cas can be pretty cool
“They keep rotating the beer labels away from the camera” “I think they want us to focus on the flannel” “I don’t understand why Claire would give Dean up” “This don’t make too much sense to me” “That’s not a bat” “I thought Dean was going to fkn hit them” pimp mobile
“With the offset license plate and everything” “way to be complicated” She is a teenage girl
“Did she forget to mention the Dean thing?”
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liopleurodean · 6 months
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Season 11, Episode 20: Don't Call Me Shurley
Airplane!, right? I've seen that joke one too many times
Doggo!
Ew
Aw, have a heart for the pupper
I still hate him
Whoa.
Beach Boys. Nice
Hey, Chuck!
Dude.
Stop. Talking.
I do! You kinda suck
Ouch. I like it
Both were pretty good
Yeah, that was horrible
Sounds trippy
Dramatic. I like it
I want to smash that mug
Suck-up
Yeah, sure
Heh. Just call me Chuck. But don't call me Shurley (shhh, let me have this)
That's fair actually
Dean...
That's possible
Iron your own shirts, then!
Nice
Yeah, I don't think so either
Hey. Titling is hard
I guess
I guess he can turn it off
THE SAMULET
Whoa. Shiny
Yeah, no kidding
Hah! He admits it!
Chocolate?
Oh, yeah. That's pretty awesome
Music is amazing. Beyond words
A new manuscript
The Bible 2: Electric Boogaloo
Sure
The best call
I'm sure
Interesting
Definitely the Darkness
Yikes
I hate editing on paper
What does that mean?
Liar
ASDFGHJKL THATS SO REAL
Well...
He wants to write her out of the story
It's about to be
Why is it different?
Kinky
Spooky
Oh boy
Always Vonnegut.
But that's like... a footnote
So God can be bisexual, but Dean can't? We were truly robbed
Oh yeah, we know. Louden Swain is great
...he's not wrong
Absent dad
Liar.
At least pay attention to your kids!
Hmmm... where have we heard that before?
He's misunderstood
Ah.
Uh huh...
I have no idea what that means
Doesn't sound like much
There's so much to unpack
I can't believe I agree with Metatron. Never let me say that again
66 books full
Complete rewrite
Exactly
There it is
That's horrifying
That'll do it
Oh boy. I don't want to read that
I doubt it
That's the big one, isn't it?
Complete opposites.
I think it might still work
That's the crux of the problem. He tried to change her
Nature is beautiful
There it is
He's not gonna try to save it? The one thing he ever cared about?
Awesome
The fog is bad. It's not hard to understand
They won't help
Oh boy
She as in Amara?
Yup
Poor girl
The stuff we keep inside
That's not good
She's talking about Chuck
She likes him too much
And Dean is the only one who will survive
Truth.
We can't help it if explosions look cool!
That's not helpful
I kind of doubt that. He would've wreaked havoc before too long
Yeah...
Great question
What does that even mean???
Uh huh...
The only place that Amara can't touch
Dude.
Pfft. He totally was a coward
Yikes
The Wrath of God
Of course not
Then what is it?
It's more than just the town
Not the kid!
Run!
They have to seal everything
How are they gonna breathe?
I don't think so
Oh no
That's not good
He got a full mouthful of it
It won't affect Dean
They're different skills
As always
Everyone wants it
Everyone in Heaven was there too
I don't think so.
Okay then
There's no point, Dean
Sam, no!
It's the negative thoughts
Dean is the only one in town that's not affected
Oh no
They are wasting so much paper
Of course.
Please don't
Oh. That explains why this song is everywhere
It's... Almost good. Almost.
The Samulet!
What happened???
Did they go back to Earth?
She's not even wounded
He fixed it.
You think?????
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sarah-dipitous · 8 months
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 254
All In the Family
Was too tired to do much today but then I fucked around too much in the evening to be able to watch both…oops
“All In the Family”
Plot Description: after an eye opening meeting with god, the Winchesters set out on an unlikely mission to save Lucifer
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died…Kevin finally got sent to heaven though, which is nice
not bringing Kevin here to convince them to trust Chuck/god
The hurt on Dean’s face. This is…it’s like everything he’s ever wanted to say to John and I’m a broken mess.
Omg he’s CRYINGGGGG.
Chuck, don’t you DARE tell Dean not to confuse you with John. You both did the same thing
Ew. Fuck this guy. I’ve never done such a 180 on a character than with Chuck
Mmm don’t you love when god says Amara’s warded where she is against him and then she claims he’s ignoring her??
“As much as it pained me, I had to walk away. Too much drama” sir, that is your son, your creation. (Also, in case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, Touya is Lucifer coded confirmed)
I still don’t trust Metatron but I’m interested in what he needs to tell the boys
“Call me Donatello. I’m named after him” “…the ninja turtle?” “…the renaissance sculptor” Dean, please
Omg they really forcefully turned an atheist into a prophet? Really? That’s what we’re doing??
Good lord…Chuck’s planning on letting Amara just take over?? If I haven’t said it before, fuck this guy
Metatron seems uncharacteristically sincere talking about saving Chuck from himself
Is Dean gonna fuck Amara as a distraction??
Nah, see? I don’t trust earnest Metatron. What’s he up to staying behind?
You know how sometimes people say that someone got folded in a fight?? Metatron got CRUMPLED. And I mean that literally
When normal people get dragged into this mess, their reactions are so funny. Like, I’m used to this after near 11 full seasons, but poor prophet Donatello saw god’s sister, was told he wasn’t worth sparing, and then got transported by god back to the bunker. Eeeeeeeyeah, I’d be yelling “WHAT. HAPPENED.” too
I’m heartbroken that this is probably the first time Castiel has seen god in a long ass time, too but he’s having to do it through Lucifer using him as a vessel.
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goodomens-girlie · 4 months
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put them in a room together
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“order accurately and fast, I haven’t slept in 30 hours and I will not hesitate to mock you if you fumble your words”
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nightgoodomens · 7 months
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Many years ago
Metatron: Asmodeus is walking around Earth spreading lust all over the place! Everyone is falling for him! We need a volunteer to st… Yes Aziraphale?
Aziraphale *waving his hand*: I WILL DO IT. I MEAN STOP IT. YES.
Metatron: Oh. Okay. Off you go.
1 day later
Aziraphale: Crowley, seriously, using your looks to spread the sin… Wait, you’re not Crowley.
Asmodeus: Oh, I can be Crowley for you, dear Angel.
Aziraphale: Ew. Ew. No.
Asmodeus: What do you mean ew?! I’m Asmodeus! GOD OF LUST!
Aziraphale: Really?
Asmodeus: WOW.
Aziraphale: So, where is he?
Asmodeus: Who?
Aziraphale: Crowley. You know. Bright red luscious hair. Beautiful yellow snake eyes. Long legs. Very slim. High cheekbones.
Asmodeus: If you stop talking, I will take you to him.
Aziraphale: Brilliant, thank you.
*snaps fingers*
Aziraphale: CROWLEY!!! *grabs his hand and pulls him away towards the closest restaurant*
Asmodeus *shouts after them*: Just so you know, Crowley, I am telling everyone in Hell that you two are an item!
(And that’s how Hell found out)
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yellowbentley · 9 months
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s2 e6 liveblog! last one!
aziraphale is so protective of everyone it warms my heart
i hope nina and maggie get a good ending. who am i kidding i know they will.
crowley sticks out soo bad in heaven lmao
BEES
roasting heavens security lmaooo
"youre not a bee youre a murder hornet!"
hate that hair on him
FUCK THEM UP MAGGIE
SHE FLIPPED THEM OFF
FUCK EM UPPPPP
oh FUCK
this is the second time his shop has been violated augh
METATRON????
VINDICATIONNNNNNNN?????
oh shit!!! he opened it!!!
HAHA get rolled demons
earth 2023 simulator
ah that was the real gabriel! i thought he'd already been wiped with that it sounded so wrong
he just said no??? thats weird
this has to be killing aziraphale right. that has to be ruining so many books just as well as water. i know its for the greater good but
this is so incorrect
something is so wrong
gabriel Should Not be speaking like that
oh the books are SO killing him
and sure enough he dropped the matchbox
has he been faking this whole time??? i Cannot Tell-
HALO
AZIRAPHALE HAS A HALO
HALO
HALO
HALO
oh my god
A WAR????? GIRL-
ITS THE LASTEPISODE WHAT DO YOU MEAN A WAR-
this is a MESS
DAGON????????????
cant you undo a miracle????? i feel like i remember that
pet fly lmao thats kinda cute
AUGH NO NOT THE EYE
EW EW EW EW EW
lol the s1 footage
gabriel and beezlebub arguing is just as funny as it was 4 years ago
i still want to know why gabriel chose no war. that doesnt sound like him
awe beezlebub likes music
shelly conn is cute
they keep meeting. somethings up.
i smell blood in the water. do you remember the amount of porn of these two in 2019.
hes back 👀
awe he said thank you
why is this more romantic then aziraphale and crowley have been the whole season
THERES NO FUCKIN WAY
NO WAY
THIS IS FAKE
THERES NO FUCKING WAY
anna maxwell martin is so sad she missed out on this LMAOOOOO
i cannot FUCKING believe this is happening
if they kiss im throwing my phone
awe they just vanished. this is so weird. i could never of fucking predicted this in a million years. never. NEVER. NEVER
METATRON
VINDICATIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNÑNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
i cannot get over muriel. she thought she was going for lunch with them. she asked for a book. "theyre like people! but portable!" omfg cute shes not quite their kid but shes something
DID NINA JUST CALL MAGGIE ANGEL
WAH
good for nina taking her time! shes going through a breakthrough and needs a break. good for fucking her.
"you never communicate" oh NO oh god is this going to break me im scared
they will not shut the fuck up. i love them so fucking much.
WHAT
CROWLEY COULD BE AN ANGEL AGAIN
oh no
oh no
i dont like where this is going
oh my fucking god
head in hands
OK BYE SAY IT IM GONNA HYPERVENTALATE
IM LOSING MY MIND
I AM LOSING
MY
FUCKING
THEY KISSED
MIND
MY MIND IS GONE ITS LOST IT IS NOT HERE
I AM NOT HERE
IM GONE
GONE
GONE
GONE
can these bitches stop breaking up
SECOND COMING
oh my god aziraphale youre making a horrible mistake
im not even in pain im just mentally not here
AND ITS. DONE? GIRL-
im screaming im screaming currently can you hear me screaming? because im screaming
i think i need to
lay down
and
process
this.
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noodledanger · 4 years
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Metatron
NightWing
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draconian62 · 5 years
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The Immortal Hulk #20
Wow someone remembered that Mister Immortal is one of the few true immortal beings in the MU.
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justalonelyflipflop · 5 years
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Metrat
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