🦋

lifetimes and lifetimes - fox mulder x fem!witch reader

not every witch needs spells and stones to relive the past, or predict the future. in your opinion, the craft is much simpler than that- what is meant to be yours comes to you, at the right time. and the right thing does come, in the shape of a tall, curious fbi agent. it doesn't take long to learn just who fox mulder is to you- and that it seems you two always find each other, in every lifetime.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

this one is dedicated to @spookybasementboy bc they asked for it :))  i took some creative liberty because i’m not much of a witch myself- i was inspired by the past life situation in the season 4 ep “the field where i died” but also wanted to make sure i made it mystical, so i used a sort of invocation/prayer and vision experiences. but really i wanted to have an amalgamation of a witch and a regular person, who truly is a product of “coincidences”, run into our handsome little fox. i think it came out kinda cool. unlike anything i've written. ok ill stop explaining and let you read. <3

my ao3 | word count: 5,041

content tags: wicca, not too witchy but has spiritual experiences, mentions of bodily blood/gore, past lives, flashbacks, idiots in love, stress, fear, anxiety, slow romance, you both fall hard FAST but it’s gotta be slow!!!!!!!!!!

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°

special agent fox mulder believes in everything. he doesn’t know how not to, not with everything he’s seen in his lifetime. because of this blind faith, he gets himself in constant trouble. it was the first thing you noticed about him as he handcuffed you to the chair in the police station bullpen, that he was trouble, but in a good way. in the way that without having said a word, you felt he could turn your life upside down. even in a state of shock, you could sense that.

you sat like a prisoner, eyes shut as agent mulder settled into the desk chair opposite you. behind your eyelids, you relived flashes of moments from not even an hour prior. there was blood and bullets; you tasted wood, glass, screams, more blood. you remembered the red eyes, and the way bodies flooded beneath the pews, the sound of skulls cracking against the cold tile. you remembered reciting the only prayer that you could remember, the first one you learned when you left the church at 18. you felt the wiry carpet burning your elbows as you crawled away. you heard their voices repeating, “baruch hashem, baruch hashem, baruch hashem…” you remembered being chased, and after that, nothing else. as you awaited what surely was to become your interrogation you began to pray again, because it felt like you had no other means of safety. the earth is my mother, i shall not want…

“so, you like to run, huh?” the man teased, easing into his questioning. 

agent mulder’s authority was practically dripping from him- tailored suit, slack tie, blue and white badge screaming from his pocket. the print of his gun pressed against the black holster which flashed enticingly behind his coat. you saw power in his eyes, and a boyish attitude in his smile as he awaited your response. he was an understated kind of handsome. the kind that snuck up on you.

you winced as you shifted in the chair, and the man watched you tremble, suspicious of your state. maybe it’s drugs, he thought, but he quickly rescinded that. you just didn’t seem like the type. to the naked eye, you were healthy; plump arms and legs, round cheeks, secretive eyes. you were an intriguing sight, and not just because of your clothes. chained to a chair, your curling tendrils of hair and berry lipstick looked so out of place in a dirty, bustling environment like the one in which you both sat. he saw a girl adorned in earthy colors both muted enough to communicate a soft darkness, and bright enough to draw people to it. the beat-to-shit brown boots on your sleepy feet showed how long you’ve been drifting by, living alone. silver ornamented your neck and ears and poised hands, and agent mulder liked how it contrasted the tarnished handcuffs. you were battered from the events of your evening, with deep cuts in your hands and knees, and bloody scrapes all over your body, taking turns sharing skin with the bruises. you were a dichotomous girl, giving him every reason to be curious; yet all personal inquiries aside, agent mulder had a job to do. he had caught you fleeing a crime scene, after all. 

something in his gut wanted to release you, to let you float right out the front door and back to wherever you came from; but in his chronic open-mindedness, he couldn’t be sure if you weren’t tricking him some way into feeling that. so he kept you locked tight and facing him, eagerly awaiting your statement. 

“running is for the guilty, agent mulder.”

“well, i had to chase you down, didn’t i?”

“who says you decide what i’m guilty of?”

the agent turned to the computer and opened a statement file, deciding to take yours himself. “what’s your name, miss?”

“which one? i have a few.”

“whichever one i can find in an official file somewhere in this pigsty,” he grinned. 

“well, that’s not gonna be much help,” you shot the man a wink, “they know me by a handful, too.”

“well, come up with one, then.”

you sat for a moment, already settled on the name you wanted to hear him repeat, but wanting to tease anyway. when you offered it up, the sound rang in his ears like angel’s bells. 

agent mulder simply couldn’t stifle his curiosity. as he typed your chosen name out, he asked, “what does it mean?”

“well, my last name is an old name. for us wiccan, it means old friend. and i like to think of myself that way- familiar, constant, when the world is always moving.”

“and your first?”

“my favorite shakespeare character.” you admitted. the man’s face flooded with color, and you could hear him thinking, is she fucking with me? so you tacked on, “you know, just because someone’s a witch doesn’t mean they’re an isolationist. i read.”

“i didn’t say anything!” agent mulder chuckled awkwardly. your intuition had him drawing nervous breaths. “so, you’re a witch. is that why you were at the church? did you plan to invoke, or just poke fun?”

“i’m not that kind of witch, agent mulder. not all witches are mean-spirited. i was there because i had walked past the church a few days ago, and i saw the stained glass windows from outside. they were so beautiful, i wanted to see them up close. i’m not a fan of what happens at churches, but i do love their art.”

for an accepting person, agent mulder didn’t realize how many preconceived notions he held. sat before him was a girl who pledges to be a witch, but visits catholic churches in her free time like museums. a girl who chose her name according to the day. in what little he knew, there seemed to be not one solid fact on which he could build a realistic profile. tight-lipped, the man asked for your age, place and date of birth, and address.

“i’m not sure exactly how many lives i’ve had, but in this one, i’m 29. arlington, d.c… um, october 31st, 1964… oh, and right now, i’m at 2632 hegal place, alexandria. apartment 42.” 

as you spoke, a wind blew through the station. it ruffled the papers on agent mulder’s desk, and it whistled through the links to your handcuffs. the hair stood up on your arms as the wind whispered, and you knew what he was going to say before he said it. you felt it in your gut. 

“2632?” agent mulder swallowed thickly, his curious pupils inflating almost cartoonishly. you saw his goosebumps and smiled.

as if you’d known all along, you asked, “you live in the building next door, don’t you? 2630?”

agent mulder didn’t respond, but the blood in his cheeks did for him. you shifted in your seat again, feeling a burning in your stomach. you hadn’t felt that hot intuition for a long time. there was a haunting quality to his face that was drawing you away from your defense; you couldn’t keep up the mysterious act, because something about him made it impossible to hide.

“s-so, what were you doing at the church?”

“you already asked me that, sir.”

you were surprised that even in the chaos of the police station, you weren’t alone. you felt alone. agent mulder seemed to look at you like his eyes didn’t recognize another thing, like the world was unfamiliar to him aside from your face, your eyes. and all those years of sitting in meditation, of attempting to regress, to see who you were before and who your soul was tethered to were useless. you should’ve known by now to trust in your world, in its karma. it always comes when it’s meant to. 

 “you can call me fox, if it’s easier. sir is so… formal.”

fox’s eyes sparkled. you’d seen that shimmer before, but in water, and in shifting light. you looked into him, and wiped your clammy palms against your pantyhose-clad thighs. for the first time all night, you felt your barrier coming down, the shield you raised back at the church, against the cops and the world. the fear you stifled to survive was finally flooding through your veins, and the tears in your eyes followed like dominoes. 

fox instinctively abandoned the report and took your palms in his own, passing his calloused thumbs over your trembling knuckles. “hey, hey, it’s okay,”

“i-i”m sorry,” you hiccuped, struggling to speak. “i’m- m’over… overwhelmed,”

“catch your breath,” he whispered, running his palms up and down your arms. his touch was seraphic, and by it, you knew you’d felt it before. lifetimes and lifetimes of it. “take it easy, i’m here.”

when you calmed down, he began again, “can you tell me what happened?” 

“well… i went into the church. to look at the windows, like i said. i was alone, it was maybe around six o'clock by then. they were just finishing mass, and everyone stood up to leave, a-and then they came in,” you stuttered, “the, uh, the shooters. they were- they were in all black, and wore red masks, like ones from the halloween store. they were chanting, they said, baruch hashem. it sounded like hebrew, but i think it was different, i’m not sure. it sounded old. and they were chanting, and they knocked so many people down in the aisles to get to the alter. they fired a few rounds off at the windows, glass fell on my head… i saw a lot of people fall, so i dropped to the ground and pressed my face to the wall. i prayed over and over, to the earth, it’s the only prayer i could remember. i just wanted to hide, y’know? a-and when- when they got up to the altar, they-”

the agent stopped you to ask, “what prayer?” 

“why does it matter?” you sniffled. 

“because it might have been what got you out in time.” 

his eyes were so pleading, and the fire curling around your bones stood to remind you he was to be trusted. so you recited the prayer, a slightly juvenile one that in your newness you cut down to the meat of: “the earth is my mother, i shall not want. she restores my body and awakens my soul. although i walk in the shadow of changing seasons and passing time, i will not fear death, for the essence of life is within me, the peace and beauty of earth comfort me. as i look to the skies with wonder at the immensity of the universe, i know i am blessed beyond measure to live all the days of my life in the bountiful house of gaia.”

the man marveled at how the words spilled from your tongue, so ingrained in your muscle memory that they were second nature. you kept a cadence, and each word was its own. he saw now you were not one to sit surrounded by potions and symbols to cloud your focus; you simply let the power of the world pass through you, and hoped to harness it and be protected as you yielded to it. you repeated that mantra like it was all you had left- he could tell. he’d never met such a modern witch. to him, you were a brand new kind of x file, with subtle powers he has yet to comprehend. 

“that’s beautiful,” he complimented as he squeezed your palms. “alright, now breathe. you're safe. keep talking.”

shutting your eyes, you tried to reimagine the horror. you’d never dreamed of seeing anything so inhumane, but maybe these details would be useful. you can’t have just seen them for nothing. 

“they, um, they took the priest. one of them shot him, and then another laid him on the table, and- and he used a knife to cut him open. there… there was so much blood,” you swallowed thickly. “they took his… y’know, his uh, insides. they dragged them out, and they chanted, and anyone who stood up was shot. i- i watched them take it all and, uh, they put it in the tabernacle, of all places… and their eyes glowed under the masks, bright red, and they never stopped chanting. once they started taking people from the pews with knives, i crawled out the side door, because i had th-this feeling, like, like it would be me next. i felt it everywhere. and when the cops showed up…”

“you didn’t want to get stuck. and you thought i was one of them, coming to take you, so you ran from me.” fox finished your thought, a resonant pain shaking his ribcage at the thought of making an innocent girl just try to outrun the danger. “you saved yourself, you know. i don’t know how your prayer worked, but you did something, summoned something that saved you long enough to get you out.”

“and it made you follow me.” you sighed, wiping your tear-stained cheeks. “why?”

fox’s eyes traveled across your face, inspecting every detail, wishing he had a microscope. his hand raised deliberately to brush a lock of hair from your face. “i don’t know.”

“what is your gut telling you?”

“its…” the man felt like his lungs were going to pop, two balloons over-inflated, under siege by a swarm of butterflies. “i wanted to follow you. to find you, not arrest you. but you kept running, so… y’know, logic took over.”

fox took a moment to fish the handcuff key from his pocket, and he unlocked your wrists, rubbing softly at the red marks. the agent winced, guilt-ridden for fastening them too tight. “does it hurt?”

“no, m’okay,” you muttered. your head was pounding, and when his fingertips grazed your pulse, you felt somewhat weak. 

fox let you rest for a few minutes while he typed up your account. he remembered every word. as he worked, his leg consciously shifted out to knock against your knee, and the two of you sat that way for a while, touching bones. when he was done, he leaned back in the borrowed desk chair and sighed, dragging his big palms down his face. 

“can i ask why you’re investigating this?” you brought one leg over the other, suddenly a bit conscious of the length of your dress. you saw his eyes follow, and you flushed. 

“oh, well, my partner and i- scully, you met her- we’re, uh, we’re investigating a string of ritual murders. we’ve followed these guys through the state, they shoot up masses and do what they believe to be sacrifices to jesus himself. that- that chant you mentioned, baruch hashem, i recognize it. it’s aramaic, the language jesus spoke. means “blessed be the name”. we’ve gathered they chant that over and over and they, uh,” the agent paused, seeing the discomfort on your face, “you don’t want to know the details.”

“no, i do! it's just a little raw is all,” you flashed a meek smile, gesturing with a nod for him to continue. 

“well, they seem to be taking people’s… entrails, the priest’s first, and offering them up by putting them in the tabernacle. my theory is they seem to think that if they offer holy blood, and let it be anointed with the eucharist, it'll reward them with god’s love and immortality. as far as we know, they belong to a cult that moves across the country, sacrificing lives to win god’s favor. and what you saw tonight- what you suffered- it’s going to help us stop them.”

“really?”

“yes, really,” he grinned. “listen, i’m not going to hold you here. you’re a victim, you don’t deserve to keep reliving this. you need to go home, get some rest.”

there was still that fire in you, churning and hissing within your throat, reminding you not to ignore it. you never did. in your practices, you always bended to the will of your fire. every invocation, every motion, was deliberate. it all came through you. you didn’t adhere to the rules of everyone else who believed like you did; you belonged to no wiccan circle, no congregation. you just made your way in the world, a ritualist by nature, working with this life and world while understanding your diversion from it. you let your selves be your guide- every version of you that has lived wisely for your benefit. 

thinking of what you are, and what you’ll become now you’ve met fox mulder, the flames licked your tongue, making you honest again. “i’m scared to leave. i… i don’t want them to come for me.”

fox’s comforting grin fell. he saw how you made yourself small in the chair, and he wished he could switch places. in an instant, he’d be the one interrogated, judged, the one seeing guts and blood when he closed his eyes. he couldn’t let that be what you turned into.

“i can bring you. i can get you security, protective custody, anything you need. i’ll protect you myself if i have to,” fox swore, “i won’t let them get to you, okay?”

a sad little laugh bubbled in your throat, and you reached for the hand that rested on the computer mouse. you adored the feeling of his tired skin beneath yours so sensitive. “i guess i don’t really know what’ll feel safe just yet.”

“then let me take you home, at least,” fox offered. “i do live next door.”

“you do.”

you stood up, feeling a bit achy in the knees. fox offered you his arm and you wrapped your palm around it gratefully. you watched him motion across the station to the pretty redhead you’d met in cuffs, who nodded softly. his partner. there was a smart look in her eye, and you knew she had the answers- to what, you couldn’t be sure, but she held a truth within her. it glowed golden against the pink of her skin.

the agent ushered you to a small car outside the station, opening the passenger side for you to slide in. you giggled at his old-fashioned ways, enamored by how he shed his suit jacket and laid it across your nearly bare legs in the car. “so you don’t get cold,” he explained, but you couldn’t care less about why.

the drive was silent. fox went slowly, although you had the feeling he tended to speed. his hand rested on the gear shift out of baseless habit, even though the car was automatic. he was tense, anxious, aware; the muscle at the curve of his jaw clenched and unclenched like it was keeping time, and a stubborn slice of hair kept falling against his forehead no matter how many times he blew it away. you admired him from your side of the car, seeing how traffic lights reflected in his eyes. all it took was for fox to deal a soft glance your way, with just a slight tilt of the head, for you to feel yourself in this car before, within this exact moment some other lateral time. a second wave of goosebumps riddled your body. 

show me, you begged in silence, willing to be heard by whatever force was showing you new versions of the man behind the wheel. show me who he is. show me who he is to me. 

a sudden burst of rain smacked against the windshield of the car, causing both of you to jump. there was no storm following- it was as if a squall came down, just momentarily, to rinse the car. when you blinked, you saw fox driving a first-edition ford in a tweed coat and flat cap, a cigarette bobbing between his lips as he asked you about your day; then, he was jostling atop a cart, hands on worn horse reigns, singing some folk song you’d never heard. another blink revealed him as a boy, holding your juvenile hand and speaking middle french as he passed you a flower, with that same concentrated head tilt and gaze as all the other visions. you’d been here so many times, protected by him, going towards a life with him. you knew he felt it, too, because the beat of his heart was loud enough to hear how it synced with yours. not a piece of you both was out of time, now that the world had removed its wedge. you rested your hand atop his on the gear shift, and the muscle in his mouth loosened. 

when fox pulled up to your building, you waited for him to come around and let you out with a teasing smile. he took your hand gingerly and led you down the sidewalk. he helped you through your building’s door, up the stairs, and he swiped the keyring from your shaking hands and unlocked your apartment for you. the familiar smell of cinnamon air freshener eased your nerves as you switched on the lights, and you saw fox get a glimpse of your life for the first time. he smiled at your home where you lived in the same room, on the same floor, in the same layout one building away, as him. your living room window looked like his. your television was in the same place. you had far more books, and your desk was littered with drawings, but everything was reminiscent of his apartment. and you saw his home now as you looked around, like you had three-dimensional lenses on- you in the blue film, and him in the red. he had no trouble finding the sink and filling a cup for you while you drifted to the couch and sat down. after having time to settle, your body ached. 

“i can't believe this,” was all he could say. 

you took the glass from him and sipped it greedily, falling out of shock and into need. you patted the cushion beside you, and he took a seat.

“you’re familiar with past lives, right?”

“well, yeah,” he confirmed, “i know different theories and cultural views of reincarnation. it's an interesting concept, to be born again but always the same, an amalgamation of the people you were before.”

“i think so, too.”

“but you’re wiccan, so you know all about that already, right?”

“well, i think you should know that things for me are different, fox. i mean, i tell people i’m wiccan, so they call me a witch, and i go with that. i guess i’m spooky to other people. i lean into it because it does them less harm to simplify me and me less harm to just live how i want in private. if i could create a whole new kind of practice, i would, but sometimes its easier to just let people see you how they do and move along,” you elucidated. “what you might think wiccans believe isn’t always what i believe, y’know? it’s just the closest label. works better than deist or freak or whatever. and being here with you, and all these visions, these memories i’m having… i don’t really know what i’m getting at. this is all to say that yes, i believe in past lives, and i’m not so much wiccan as i am just myself.”

“i get it. you follow your own rules. you have an instinct, just something that kind of… burns in you, right?” 

all the words he could’ve used, and he chose burn. because love burns, pain burns, life burns. this entire night has burned you. and he’s burned, too, branded with the belief you share.

“yeah.”

“so, did you know me in your version of past lives, then?” the agent inquired, bumping your knee with his knuckles playfully.

“i know i did, because i asked the world to show you to me, and now i see every version of you. four, maybe five of you, in the same exact moment. you don’t change. and you’re always with me, always a force. this gentle, ferocious thing, keeping me to yourself. and i think in each one, i love you.”

fox’s brain was swimming in confusion while his body buzzed with want. distractedly, he wondered, “how can something be gentle and ferocious?”

softly, you recited, “it’s astounding the first time you realize that a stranger has a body. the realization that he has a body makes him a stranger. it means you have a body, too. you will live with this forever, and it will spell out the language of your life.”

fox beamed, “if beale street could talk. you are well read.”

you set the glass of water down on the coffee table that looked just like his, and you said, “i know you, fox. not in this life yet, but i’ve known you in every one before. coincidences aren’t just coincidences.”

“i never thought so,” the agent nodded thoughtfully. you couldn’t tell what was in his head this time, and you wanted so badly to know. when he did reveal a question, you didn’t expect it. “what was the part of that prayer you said for me earlier? something about the universe?” 

quietly, you recanted: “as i look to the skies with wonder at the immensity of the universe, i know i am blessed beyond measure to live all the days of my life in the bountiful house of gaia.”

fox’s face burst into a wild smile, one that used every tooth he had. he thought of how his entire life, he looked up to the stars, worshiped them; hoping they’d be benevolent enough to bring his sister back, to save his life, to make all of his pain worthwhile. and there they were, divine within your oldest prayer, the very same prayer that guided him from the church in your direction in the first place. you could believe it was the earth, or the spirits you confided in all you liked, but to him the stars had made it all possible. maybe he was a witch in his own way, too, if he played by your rules. 

fox sat in silence with you for a while, refilling your glass while you collected your nerves. the man offered to patch a few of your cuts just so he could pick apart the details of your life in the apartment. with the cover of looking for a first aid kit, he flipped through your books, searching for your copy of james baldwin. he admired your records, finding music he’s loved for years and some he’s never heard before. he studied your little jars of herbs that coexisted alongside tylenol bottles. he saw the parts of your window that you colored with magic marker, because of how you longed for true stained glass. he frowned, thinking what a shame it was those bastards destroyed the art you’d gone to admire tonight. 

as he looked, he learned again what it is like to feel your presence, to be surrounded by you. he felt a sudden gap mending in the space within him, and he didn’t need magic to know why. falling in love was magical enough. 

you spent some time allowing fox to nurse your bumps and bruises (once he stopped fake-looking for the first aid kit), and admired how he childishly placed bandaids all over your arms and legs as if they’d heal all. it was more about letting him care for you, and feeling his hands in places you’d only hoped they’d touched before. he hummed softly to himself all the while, and you were a puddle by the time he finished; when you were the center of his focus, he was nothing but a big sap, muttering soft praises and showering you with smiles. you couldn’t believe it took you so long to find him, or rather that the world took so long to bring you his way. you had so much to make up for now.

when it was time for him to go, you followed him to the door like a puppy. you didn’t feel the discomfort anymore, or the fear of your death. you only felt the doting hands of karma, proving to you the night was simply a means to a much greater end. (un)coincidentally, karma’s hands felt just like his. 

fox leaned in your doorway, his tie undone and his authority stripped. “i’ll come by to check on you in the morning,” he assured. 

“i’ll be here.”

“where do you work?” fox asked, and when your lips melted into a helpless grin, he pushed, “come on, where?”

“i’m a receptionist at the national archives.” 

the believer before you fell to the mercy of his faith, picturing the building on the same street as his job. he imagined how many times you must have walked past him to go to work, all those days spent believing in a love he was missing. his ageless eyes folded on themselves with disbelief, and his laugh rattled deep in his chest.

“jesus. are you sure you’re not something else? a genie, a spirit? an angel?” 

“nope. just a witch. and a bad one, at that.”

you pushed onto your tip-toes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, finding his scruff so familiar to your lips. he sighed softly at the touch of your hands, feeling embers sparking in their wake. 

like it was a secret, he murmured, “i have one more question.”

“hm?”

“why do you choose me? if you’ve lived all these lives, why me?”

you settled back onto your heels and smiled. your palm rested against his jaw as you replied, “you know, i don’t think i ever had a choice.”

he wanted to kiss you, but you both know he’s too much of a gentleman. so he only gazed at you for a while, pressing your hand flush to his face, before letting it fall and stepping into the hallway. and as you watched him leave, you imagined every time he’d come back to save you, to love you, to tilt his head and realign himself as the lover you’ve kept for lifetimes.

“you know where to find me,” you called after the man, and he looked over his shoulder with enough love to shatter the sky.

“i guess i always do, don’t i?”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°

prayer altered for story, sourced from this website

quote used from novel if beale street could talk by james baldwin

Spoiler-ish (technically the screenwriter backtracking and trying to fix that clownery)

Okay just to keep track of everything : post by the screenwriter + pic with translation about said post + translated text (via google bc I don’t speak chinese...) + original text all under the cut.

1)Translation 

"Hate Your Lord Is Not Like Jiang Lou Yue" Finale 37-1 At the entrance of Yuzhitang Jiang Yuelou stands on the opposite side of the street, going back and forth across the street The flow of people and the glass windows of Yu Zhitang, watching the glass After Chen Yuzhi, the corners of his mouth rose unconsciously. 37-2 Within days of Yu Zhitang Chen Yuzhi packed the things on the table, ready to hit kind. Chen Yuzhi noticed a scorching gaze, Lifting his gaze, it was Jiangyue Tower. Jiang Yuelou raised an eyebrow at him triumphantly and gave him one Bright laugh. Chen Yuzhi smiled back and took off the white The lab coat, walked towards the door. 37-3 Outside the entrance of Yuzhitang Chen Yuzhi locked the door, Jiang Yuelou crossed the street Come. Chen Yuzhi; Didn't you say that the police station was handed over in the morning? Do you have a lot of work and are you busy? Jiang Yuelou: No matter how busy you are, you have to eat. Besides, Today's special day, Lantern Festival, not with me Over? Chen Yuzhi turned around and smiled gently: OK, together Over. 37-4 Jingcheng Street Niwai Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi walked along the street, talking and laughing With. The people on both sides of the street, some are cooking, some Playing chess, some are drinking tea, and some are living and working in peace and contentment. Look like. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi comforted and looked at each other laugh. Jiang Yuelou: Our efforts were not in vain, they Finally can live a stable life. Chen Yuzhi: Yeah, finally, everything is worth it From time to time, someone greeted the two. Passerby: Doctor Chen! Passer-by: Section Chief Jiang! Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi nodded in response with a smile. Passers-by greeted warmly: Chief Jiang, come to the house for soup Round, we made it ourselves, don't dislike it. Jiang Yuelou laughed: No, we are also going to go back do. Chen Yuzhi was stunned, and after passers-by walked away, he asked: Are you planning to do it yourself? Jiang Yuelou; otherwise? Chen Yuzhi: I thought you meant to go to the house at the door Kunton stalls, her family will cook some glutinous rice balls every day Applicable. Jiangyuelou: Do it yourself, it has a special flavor. Smile of Chen Yuzhi: Okay, listen to you. The two talked and laughed and walked. Not far ahead, A man in a rickshaw driver's clothes raised his eyes slightly The line turned out to be Zhan Junbai who escaped from the dead. Zhan Junbai raised his gaze and looked at it with hatred. From a subjective perspective, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are getting closer Up. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi didn't realize it was coming Danger, chatting. Jiang Yuelou: It’s been a long time since I rode a horse. This weekend, Go for horse racing? Chen Yuzhixiao: This time, I will definitely beat you. Jiang Yuelou is full of confidence: give it a try. While they were talking, the two had already arrived in front of Zhan Junbai. Zhan Junbai suddenly held a gun and shot at Jiangyuelou. He It is the one that was given to Yutangchun and then returned The gun in his own hand. Chen Yuzhi didn't hesitate to rush to block Jiangyue Tower In front of him, the bullet shot into Chen Yuzhi's heart. Jiangyuelou Want to block the future. Jiang Yuelou's unbelievable look, hold it fast with one hand Chen Yuzhi, who was about to fall, drew his spear without hesitation and charged Zhuan Junbai shot. The people scattered and fled. Zhan Junbai was shot, his body was shocked, crazy and terrifying Smiling and falling to the ground, he looked at Jiang Yuelou proudly. He felt no physical pain, he was immersed in revenge In pleasure. A string of beads on his hand broke and fell The ground, scattered around, that is Yutangchun's hand when he was alive Beaded. Zhan Jun white grinning smile: Jiang Yuelou, what I lost, you I can't get it either. He died, more painful than your death Right? Jiang Yuelou didn't care about Zhanjun Bai, nervously Pulling off Chen Yuzhi's jacket, he saw the bullet shooting through the inside The armor is almost penetrated, severely changed Fortunately, it did not hurt the body. Jiang Yuelou is anxious and worried: how are you, where did you hurt Is it there? Chen Yuzhi patted Jiang Yuelou's hand comfortably: I didn't thing. Jiang Yuelou annoyed Chen Yu's eyes: Both of us Go back and calculate! Zhan Junbai saw that Chen Yuzhi was not injured, and he was shocked. Unbelievable look; how is this possible?! Jiang Yuelou turned and walked towards Zhan Junbai, staring at him He: I've already gotten it right, you won't let it go, from I have been waiting since the day you fled, waiting for you come back. As Jiang Yuelou said, he opened his coat, and he did it too Protection: Zhan Junbai, I am different from you, you lose Go, I will never lose. Jiang Yuelou said, glanced at Chen Yuzhi, the two were right Depending on. Zhan Junbai was defeated and looked desperate. Jiang Yuelou raised his gun again, preparing to end Zhanjun White. Zhan Junbai moved his eyes from Jiangyue Tower to Chen Yuzhi, supporting With one last breath: Dr. Chen, can Can't help me Busy? Chen Yuzhi looked at him coldly: I won't help you intercede Yes, you deserve it. Zhan Junbai; it's not this busy...cough cough... Zhan Jun white mouth and more and more blood surges in the wound Out, dyed red beads scattered on the ground, like red beans. Zhan Junbai: Help me and him, be buried together... Chen Yuzhi's accident: You didn't sink him into the crab pond? Zhan Junbai smiled: I really sink him, how can I give up Got. If you don't say this, how can you hold the following people. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi looked at each other, Chen Yuzhibai Mixed feelings. Chen Yuzhi: Where is he buried? Zhan Junbai; Chengdong. Xinglinli. Chen Yuzhi remembered Yutangchun telling that he liked it before he was alive Xinglin in the east of the city, I want to survive the spring and be buried in Xinglin One scene. Zhan Junbai; help me, okay... Chen Yuzhi shook his head: He was tortured because of you during his lifetime. After death, I definitely don’t want to have anything with you Ge. The only pleading look in Zhan Junbai's life; please You... Dr. Chen, please... Chen Yuzhi did not hesitate, turned and walked towards Jiang Yue floor. Jiang Yuelou raised the muzzle and ended Zhan Junbai's Raw. The picture is getting darker. 37-5 Jiangyuelou's home at night The door opened, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi came in. Jiang Yuelou's complexion is not very good, he is angry, heavy Sitting on the sofa. Chen Yuzhi was a little guilty, took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves Zi: What about making glutinous rice balls? I'll prepare them. Jiang Yuelou stared at him, did not speak, his eyes followed Chen I walked around. Chen Yuzhi looked back: Don't do it now? Jiang Yuelou got up and strode towards Chen Yuzhi: What to do What do you do, settle the account! Chen Yuzhi: I was not injured... Jiang Yuelou is angry; this is a fluke, what if?! Me The armor is prepared for you to protect yourself, not for Let you save people! Chen Yuzhi: But that's you... Jiang Yuelou is fierce: No one can do it! Besides, I'm not without it, I need you to rush out to protect me Did you know that I was almost scared to death.. Chen Yuzhi: Sorry, I was in a hurry, I forgot Up. Jiang Yuelou was stunned: Did you forget about the armor? Chen Yuzhi: It was too late to think too much... Jiang Yuelou suddenly felt very heartfelt, touched and touched. Fear, his fierce face instantly softened, and he raised his hand Gave Chen Yuzhi a deep hug. Jiang Yuelou whispered: Yu Zhi, in my life, I don't Fortunately...but how lucky it is to meet you. Chen Yuzhi responded in a low voice: Me too, Yuelou. How lucky to meet you... For a moment, Jiang Yuelou let go and pushed Chen Yuzhi towards kitchen. Chen Yuzhi: What? Jiang Yuelou: Make glutinous rice balls! 37-6 black screen subtitles: one year later 37-7 A small courtyard in a countryside day (faint) inside/outside The dusk is groggy. With the door open, you can see that Chen Keying is holding a small Play freely in the hall. In the courtyard, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are sitting on a stone table before. There are some dried herbs on the table, Chen Yuzhi Pulling herbs. Jiang Yuelou held a newspaper in her hand, Newspaper headlines, Jin Dacheng became director, Jing Chengtai level. Jiang Yuelou smiled, put down the newspaper, picked up the tea cup, Make tea comfortably. Jiang Yuelou took a sip of hot tea and looked at Chen Yu Zhi: Alright, it's been an afternoon, and tomorrow Chen Yuzhi laughs: a few days later is the rainy season, so you have to take advantage of the sky Okay, just dry it thoroughly. Jiang Yuelou handed a cup of hot tea: no hurry at this time and a half Engrave, take a sip of tea slowly. Chen Yuzhi raised his hand to indicate, his slender fingers were touched Herb sap stained with emerald color. Jiang Yuelou simply handed the cup over, Chen Yuzhi low Head, took a few sips of water with Jiang Yuelou's hand. Jiang Yuelou: I have found the location of the clinic, what do I need Please leave the list empty, let's go buy it together. Chen Yuzhi raised his head and looked at Jiang Yuelou, making a cunning point Laughter: Everything else is easy to say, there is only one thing, I'm afraid it is It's not easy to buy. Jiang Yuelou: What is it? Come and listen. Chen Yuzhi: The original Yuzhitang plaque is pretty good Yes, it's a pity that I forgot to bring it when I moved. Jiang Yuelou: This is easy to handle, I will solve it. Chen Yuzhi laughed: What, the engraver of Yuelou, once Is it ripe for the second time? Jiang Yuelou froze for a while, reacted, you all know Up? Chen Yuzhi: Yes. Jiang Yuelou: When did it happen? Smile of Chen Yu: Secret. Jiang Yuelou raised her eyebrows: Secret? Then don't blame me Up. Jiang Yuelou said, got up, went to the hut and dragged out A plaque, carefully wrapped in cloth, Jiangyue Tower Raise your hand, the cloth flutters, revealing Yu Zhitang below Plaque. Chen Yuzhi laughed blankly. Jiang Yuelou smiled proudly. In the distance, the setting sun, crimson and yellow cross Jiang Yuelou stared into the distance, feeling: Yu Zhi, the sun It's down. Chen Yuzhi raised his eyes and looked along the Jiangyue Tower Go, the dusk is bleak. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi stared at each other, tacitly agreeing Laugh, all affectionate, all affection, everything is silent in. The silhouette in the sunset gradually merged. --End of the whole play- Extraordinary ending Green poplar smoke is light outside, red apricot branches spring Noisy. In the Xinglin in the east of the city, one is well repaired But there is no tomb with a stele. In front of the tombstone, put some fresh Bouquets and memorial supplies. The camera pulls up, from the feet up, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yu 之入画. The two stood side by side in front of the tombstone, looking at jade Tang Chun's tomb is silently missed. Flashback, the scene before Zhan Junbai died. Chen Yuzhi: Where is he buried? Zhan Junbai; Chengdong. Xinglin Li.. Keke (kee Blood). I didn’t engrave the stele, in case someone knows the body Fortunately, he was troubled by me, and he couldn't be peaceful after death. The flashback is over. Chen Yuzhi: I did not agree to his request, if you You know Izumi, surely he is unwilling, right? No one answered, the wind blows the flowers. Jiang Yuelou comfortably embraced Chen Yuzhi and rubbed twice Lower the neck; if you really promise to help him be buried together, That's what insulted boss Yu. Now it's good Up. Jiang Yuelou said, let go of Chen Yuzhi, and looked back The cliff not far away. On the cliff, there is no one Lonely grave with lettering. Because of the terrain, the lone tomb can be In order to see the Xinglin and Yutangchun tombs under the mountain, and The lone tomb is always in the back of Yutangchun's tomb, no Will get a glimmer of light. Chen Yuzhi looked back, feeling complicated, sighing sound. Jiang Yuelou; gone, let's go home for the rest. The setting sun stained the branches and willows of Xinglin, Jiangyuelou, Chen Yu Zhi crosses the Xinglin side by side, and the rest of the discussion spreads from time to time Come. Chen Yuzhi: Yuelou, you said, people have an afterlife ? Jiang Yuelou took a deep look at Chen Yuzhi: I don't know Tao, but I hope there is. Chen Yuzhi laughed; even if he had, he drank Meng Po soup, Probably also met and did not know each other. Jiang Yuelou: Leave a secret sign, how about? If you meet again See, you won’t miss it. Chen Yuzhi ridiculed: Isn't that necessary for generations to come Met you guy? Jiang Yuelou jealous: Listening to these words, it seems not very willing? Chen Yuzhi: If it were you, I would be willing. Jiang Yuelou was deeply moved, and the two smiled at each other. The shadow disappeared in the depths of the apricot forest. The mountain scenery is steep, Zhan Junbai stands on the cliff, but He didn't feel cold, he was just cold in his heart. Zhan Junbai stared deeply at a touch of the apricot forest ahead Back, his eyes cleared and disappeared. Zhan Junbai murmured: Do you have an afterlife? The mountain wind blows and blows, as if it blows this sentence to the mountain In the ears of people. Yutangchun faces the apricot forest and back to the cliff. For some reason, weeping and whispering slightly; I don't know Tao. Zhan Junbai; They have an appointment in the next life... If, I We also have an afterlife, will everything be different? Yutangchun Yuguang glanced back slightly, his eyes earning Tangle and sigh; if there is an afterlife, I Hope, never meet you again. Jun Bai. I hope Hope, for generations to come, never see each other... From Huawei memo @ 直好好的

=> so basically, the shooting happens but Yuzhi was wearing some sort of bulletproof vest and he didn’t get hurt. They hug and both go “so lucky to have met you”. All is well in the world, this is the canon ending and fuck the rest~ 

2)Original text (extracted from the pic)

《恨君不似江楼月》大结局 37-1余之堂门口 日外 江月楼站在街道对面,隔着街道来往 的人流和余之堂的玻璃窗,注视着玻璃 后的陈余之,嘴角不自觉上扬。 37-2 余之堂日内 陈余之收拾着桌面的东西,准备打 样。陈余之察觉到一股灼热的目光, 抬起视线看去,是江月楼。 江月楼得意地冲他扬眉,赠予他一个 明亮的笑。陈余之回以一笑,脫下白 大褂,朝着门外走去。 37-3 余之堂门口日外 陈余之锁门,江月楼穿过街道上 来。 陈余之;早上你不是说最近警署交接 工作多,很忙吗? 江月楼:再忙,也得吃饭啊。再说, 今天特殊日子,元宵节,不跟我一起 过? 陈余之转身,温和一笑:好,一起 过。 37-4景城街道 日外 江月楼、陈余之沿着街道走着,说笑 着。 街道两边的百姓,有的在煮饭,有的 在下棋,有的在喝茶,一副安居乐业的 样子。 江月楼、陈余之心中安慰,对视一 笑。 江月楼:我们的努力没有白费,他们 终于能过上安稳的日子了。 陈余之:是啊,总算,一切都值 不时有人向两人打招呼。 路人甲:陈医生! 路人乙:江科长! 江月楼、陈余之微笑点头回应。 路人热情招呼:江科长,来家里吃汤 圆啊,我们自己做的,别嫌弃。 江月楼笑:不用了,我们也准备回去 做。 陈余之愕了下,待路人走开后,问: 你打算自己做啊? 江月楼;不然呢? 陈余之:我以为,你是说去门口那家 锟饨摊吃,她家每到这天都会煮些汤圆 应景。 江月楼:自己做,别有风味。 陈余之笑:好,听你的。 两人说笑着,走着。前方不远处, 个穿着黄包车夫衣服的人微微抬起视 线,竟然是死里逃生的展君白。 展君白抬起视线,仇恨的目光看去, 主观视角,江月楼和陈余之越来越近 了。 江月楼和陈余之浑然不觉即将到来的 危险,聊着。 江月楼:好久没骑马了,这个周末, 赛马去? 陈余之笑:这次,一定赢你。 江月楼自信满满:试试看。 说话间,两人已经到了展君白面前, 展君白突然持枪,朝着江月楼开枪,他 拿着的,是那把曾送给玉堂春后又回到 自己手上的枪。 陈余之毫不犹豫地扑过去挡在江月楼 身前,子弹射进陈余之心口处。江月楼 想要阻拦未来得及。 江月楼不敢置信的神情,一手扶住快 要倒下的陈余之,毫不犹豫地拔枪,冲 着展君白开枪。百姓们四散而逃。 展君白中弹,身子一震,疯狂恐怖地 笑着倒地,他器张得意地看着江月楼, 身体的痛他毫无感觉,他沉浸在报复的 快感中。他手上戴着的一串珠子断裂落 地,四散开来,那是玉堂春生前不离手 的串珠。 展君白狞笑:江月楼,我失去的,你 也得不到。他死了,比你死了,更痛 吧? 江月楼顾不得搭理展君白,紧张地 扯开陈余之外套,看到子弹射在内里穿 着的护甲上,护甲几乎被穿透,严重变 形,所幸没有伤及身体。 江月楼着急担忧:你怎么样,伤到哪 里没有? 陈余之宽慰地拍拍江月楼的手:我没 事。 江月楼气恼地陈余之一眼:咱俩的 账回去算! 展君白看到陈余之并未受伤,楞住, 不可置信的神情;这怎么可能?! 江月楼转身走向展君白,死死盯着 他:我早就算准了你不会善罢甘休,从 你逃离的那天起,我一直在等着,等你 回来。 江月楼说着,撩开自己外套,他也做 了防护:展君白,我跟你不一样,你失 去的,我永远不会失去。 江月楼说着,看了眼陈余之,两人对 视。 展君白一败涂地,绝望神情。 江月楼再次抬起枪口,准备结束展君 白。 展君白视线从江月楼移向陈余之,撑 着最后一口气:陈医生,能 不能,帮我 个忙? 陈余之冷眼看他:我不会帮你求情 的,你这是罪有应得。 展君白;不是这个忙...咳咳.... 展君白白嘴角和伤口越来越多的血涌 出,染红了地上散落的珠子,宛如红 豆。 展君白:帮我和他,葬在一起... 陈余之意外:你没把他沉进蟹塘? 展君白笑了笑:真沉了他,我如何舍 得。不这样说,又如何镇得住下面的 人。 江月楼、陈余之对视一眼,陈余之百 感交集。 陈余之:他葬在何处? 展君白;城东.杏林里。 陈余之想起玉堂春生前诉说自己喜欢 城东杏林,想要熬过春天,葬在杏林的 一幕。 展君白;帮我,行吗... 陈余之摇头:他生前因你受尽折磨, 死后,定然也不愿和你再有什么瓜 葛。 展君白一生唯一一次恳求的眼神;求 你... 陈医生,求你.. 陈余之没有犹豫,转身走向江月 楼。 江月楼抬起枪口,结束了展君白的一 生。 画面渐黑。 37-5 江月楼的家 夜 内 门开,江月楼、陈余之进门。 江月楼面色不太好,生气中,重重地 坐在沙发上。 陈余之有些心虚,脱下外套,挽起袖 子:做汤圆的东西呢?我去准备。 江月楼盯着他,不说话,视线随着陈 余之走动而动。 陈余之回头:现在不做吗? 江月楼起身,大步走向陈余之:做什 么做,算账! 陈余之:我没受伤... 江月楼气;这是侥幸,万一呢?!我 给你准备护甲是让你自保的,不是为了 让你救人的! 陈余之:可那是你... 江月楼凶巴巴:是谁都不行!再说, 我又不是没有,用得着你冲出来护我 吗?你知不知道,我差点吓死.. 陈余之:对不起,一时情急,我忘 了。 江月楼愣住:你忘了护甲这回事? 陈余之:当时来不及想太多... 江月楼突然感到无比的窝心、感动和 后怕,凶巴巴的脸瞬间软化下来,抬手 给了陈余之一个深深的拥抱。 江月楼低喃:余之,我这一生,很不 幸...但又何其有幸,竟能遇见你。 陈余之低声回应:我也一样,月楼。 遇见你,何其有幸.. 片刻,江月楼松手,推着陈余之走向 厨房。 陈余之:嗯?干什么? 江月楼:做汤圆! 37-6黑屏字幕:一年后 37-7 某乡下小院 日(昏)内/外 暮色昏沉。 屋门开着,可以看到,陈可盈抱着小 自在厅内玩耍。 院子里,江月楼和陈余之坐在石桌 前。桌上摆着些晾晒的草药,陈余之 正在翻拉草药。江月楼手上拿着报纸, 报纸头条,金大成开任署长,景城太 平。 江月楼笑了,放下报纸,拿起茶杯, 惬意泡茶。 江月楼自顾自喝了一口热茶,看向陈 余之:好了,侍弄一下午了,明日再 陈余之笑:过几日是雨季,得趁着天 好,晒干晒透才行。 江月楼递上一杯热茶:不急这一时半 刻,喝口茶缓缓。 陈余之抬起手示意,他修长手指上沾 染了翠色的药草汁液。 江月楼干脆将杯子递过去,陈余之低 头,就着江月楼的手喝了几口水。 江月楼:诊所的位置找好了,需要什 么物件你空了列一下,我们一起去买。 陈余之抬头,看向江月楼,狡點一 笑:别的都好说,只有一件东西,怕是 不好买。 江月楼:什么东西?你说来听听。 陈余之:原来那块余之堂的牌匾挺好 的,可惜,搬家的时候忘带了。 江月楼:这个啊,好办,我来解决。 陈余之笑:怎么,月楼的雕工,一回 生二回熟了? 江月楼愣了下,反应过来,你都知道 了? 陈余之:嗯。 江月楼:什么时候的事儿? 陈余之笑:秘密。 江月楼扬眉:秘密啊?那就别怪我 了。 江月楼说着,起身,去一旁小屋拖出 一块牌匾,上面用布仔细包着,江月楼 扬手,布飘扬开来,露出下面的余之堂 匾额。 陈余之哑然失笑。 江月楼得意傲娇的笑。 远处,夕阳西下,绯红色和黄色交 江月楼凝望远处,感慨:余之,太阳 落山了。 陈余之抬起视线,顺着江月楼视线看 去,暮色苍茫。 江月楼、陈余之凝视彼此,默契一 笑,一切深情,一切情意,尽在不言 中。夕阳下的剪影,逐渐融合。 --全剧终一- 番外结尾 绿杨烟外晓寒轻,红杏枝头春意 闹。城东的杏林里,一座修葺的很好 却没有刻碑的墓。墓碑前,放了些新鲜 的花束和祭奠用品。 镜头拉起,从脚往上,江月楼和陈余 之入画。两人并肩站在墓碑前,望着玉 堂春的坟墓,默默怀念。 闪回,展君白死前一幕。 陈余之:他葬在何处? 展君白;城东. 杏林里..咳咳(咳 血).我没有刻碑,万一被人知晓了身 份,他受我连累,死后亦不得安宁。 闪回结束。 陈余之:我没有答应他的要求,若你 泉下有知,定然也是不愿的吧? 无人回答,风吹花落。 江月楼宽慰地揽住陈余之,摩挲了两 下脖颈;若你真答应帮他合葬在一起, 才是辱了玉老板。如今这样,已经很好 了。 江月楼说着,松开陈余之,回头看向 不远处的悬崖。悬崖之上,一座亦没有 刻字的孤坟。因为地势原因,孤坟处可 以看得到山下的杏林和玉堂春坟墓,而 孤坟则永远在玉堂春坟墓的背影里,不 会得到一丝一毫的余光。 陈余之回头望去,心情复杂,唱叹一 声。 江月楼;走了,余之,咱们回家。 夕阳染红了杏林的枝柳,江月楼、陈 余之并肩穿过杏林,讨论的余声时而传 来。 陈余之:月楼,你说,人有来生 吗? 江月楼深深看了眼陈余之:我不知 道,但我希望有。 陈余之笑了;就算有,喝了孟婆汤, 大抵也是相逢不相识了。 江月楼:留个暗号,如何?若再遇 见,便不会错过了。 陈余之调侃:那岂不是生生世世都要 遇到你这家伙了? 江月楼醋意:这话听着,好像不怎么 愿意? 陈余之:若是你的话,我是愿意的。 江月楼深深感动,两人对视一笑,身 影消失在杏林深处。 山风料峭,展君白站在悬崖之上,却 并不觉得冷,他只是心冷。 展君白深深凝望着前面杏林里的一抹 背影,眼神明了又灭。 展君白喃喃:你说,人有来生吗? 山风吹啊吹,仿佛把这句话吹到了山 下人的耳朵里。 玉堂春面朝杏林,背向悬崖,眼中不 知怎的,微微泛起泪光,轻喃;我不知 道。 展君白;他们约了来生... 如果,我 们也有来生,一切,会不会不一样? 玉堂春余光微微往后看了眼,眼神挣 扎纠结,一声叹息;如果真有来生,我 希望,再也不要遇到你. 君白. 我希 望,生生世世,不复相见... 来自华为备忘录 " @ 直好好的

So what is the fucking ridiculous ott svu fic idea you've been kicking around in your head for two weeks????

Lmao ok well you asked for it but let me reiterate: it is way ott and I would never write it. But here we go.

Under a cut bc this got long lol

Set somewhere around s17. Dodds, Amanda, Carisi, Liv is a lieutenant, she hasn't shacked up with Tucker yet. They catch a case. Dead woman in a warehouse.

And Warner comes in to see Liv. Says they ran the dna from the blood they found and when they didn't get any hits they expanded the search to include familial matches, the way they sometimes do. And Warner asks to see Liv alone. Says some news is best delivered in private. The team watches through the glass while they talk, curious.

Warner leaves, and Liv comes out with the folder she gave her. Calls the team around and explains that there's blood from two women, the dead woman and an unknown second victim. Explains that when Warner ran the search for familial matches she got a hit.

"this man," she says, and slaps a photo on the murder board, "Simon Marsden."

And Fin is immediately like oh shit. "Hey, lieutenant, you want me to take it from here?" Trying to give Liv an out. The squad is now really curious, bc Liv is clearly upset and Fin clearly knows why, but they don't.

But Liv shakes her head, takes a deep breath, and explains. Explains why Simon's DNA is in the system. Explains that based on the lab's analysis, their missing victim probably has the same father.

"ok so we track down Marsden's parents" one of them suggests.

Liv is now in like physical pain.

"can't. His parents died years ago. And besides, as far as they were aware his father Joe only had one daughter.

"ok so we find her."

Liv takes a deep breath.

"it's me. Simon Marsden and I have the same father."

And she explains the whole thing. What happened to her mother, how she found Simon, that Joe knew about her, kept tabs on her, even told his wife that he had a daughter. And the squad is silent as they listen, as all these layers get pulled back and they catch a glimpse of a side of Liv they've never seen before. Well, none of them but Fin, who knows all this already.

Liv explains given what she knows about Joe, and given the fact he kept up with Liv, this missing woman, whoever she is, was probably born the same way Liv was, but maybe her mother gave her up for adoption. They can't go digging through court records, but they have her blood type, an approximate age, and they can check missing persons for a woman matching that description.

And they get a hit. A high school guidance counselor, about the same age as Liv, with the same dark hair and dark eyes, with the same blood type.

The rest of this is and cut and pasted from messages to @featherpluckn so it's a little disjointed I beg forgiveness.

Liv knows she can't investigate this further, had to leave it to her team. They find her sister but not the guy. She wants to go see her sister (even if she's unconscious) and she needs to let the team work it without interference. She puts out a call asking for someone to step in the run her squad while she takes a few days.

Elliot answers. In this verse he's been back with nypd and been promoted but they still haven't seen each other in years.

Liv goes to the hospital. Her sister is awake. She wasn't assaulted; the guy mostly kept her drugged. But the few times she was conscious he told her he was waiting for Olivia. So she's naturally a little freaked out, both by what happened and the fact that Olivia is here, and a perfectly nice police officer. What the fuck let's say there's some connection to Lewis. Obvi it isn't him bc he dead but let's say it looks like his work and so Liv understands that the guy's plan was to find her and make her watch. She's now terrified for Noah, works with Elliot to get him somewhere safe. Elliot brings him into the station.

She gets to know her sister. Laura's adoption was closed so she has no idea how she came into the world and Liv is reluctant to tell her. This woman is kind and shockingly upbeat and just so normal. Olivia doesn't wanna ruin that.

But word is getting out. There's a parade of faces, cops, lawyers, old friends, coming to check on Liv, coming to check on her sister. Sister is sort of impressed; the story her new sister has told her is horrific but there are all these people, so many people, eager to love her.

Sister overhears fractured conversations with Elliot and goes 👀👀👀

Brian Cassidy comes by, let's say, cause he heard it was connected to Lewis and not only was he dating Liv when it happened he's the one who put her back together after, stayed with her through all that trauma and growth, moved in with her, loved her through it, and he knows what it means to her and he has to see her.

And then!!! It's over!!! And they get to be a happy family!! And sister is inducted into this world full of people who love Olivia, and love her sister by extension, and there's a real sweet moment near the end where Olivia gets to the station late at night and she goes into the cribs and finds Elliot and Noah snuggled up and Noah is fast asleep and Elliot holds out his hand and Liv comes and squeezes into the tiny bunk with them and they all sleep together.

Laura's psychology degree is screaming at her that something is going on with Olivia. At first she doesn't know Liv is her sister. Liv explains that she's a police officer, and that they think Liv is involved bc the man who took Laura, he hurt the dead woman in a very specific way. A way Liv herself got hurt. Cassidy turns up (Laura's husband is out of town on business) and he's cracking jokes and being dumb in that way he has that's meant to put people at ease. He gets them somr macaroni and cheese from the cafeteria. Laura likes him and she sees the intense way they are with each other. But then she hears the phone calls with Elliot. Elliot turns up the next day while Liv and Noah are in with Laura. Liv is sitting down. Elliot is explaining to Laura that they caught the guy and she doesn't have to worry but she's watching his hand settle heavily on the back of Liv's neck.

Fully for my own benefit we'd do a thing where Liv knows it's not really kosher for her to be talking to a witness so she has to record their conversation. And take her calls on speaker. So when she has to talk to Elliot - about Noah, about how they think it has to be something to do with Lewis, Laura hears the whole thing.

I just. It's so OTT but it's fun for me right now lmao Liv not quite going to pieces but doing that thing where she's just holding back tears and speaking in that shaky whisper as she explains things and Laura realizes how much grief she's been thru. Laura, being a well adjusted soul who didn't actually *see* anything happen and who understands that this is just a really horrible one off and that she's gonna be ok long term, being more focused on Liv, on her damage and her strength, than what happened to Laura herself.

HER SWEET SISTER. Who is married and has two college age daughters. They come over to Liv's, after, and it's a nice apartment and Noah is sweet and they're having a nice time. Then there's a knock on the door. It's Fin. Then another. Amanda this time. Then they all come pouring in, Cassidy and Elliot and Carisi and Dodds and Barba, all these people who independently decided to check on Liv and now it's an impromptu party. Cassidy walks up to Laura's husband "hey how bout those Mets" and he's relieved to have a normal conversation. Elliot is in the floor playing with Noah. They order food. Laura turns to Liv and smiles and says "you have a beautiful family, Olivia."

There’s no one to save me

Ivar/Reader (Modern AU)

A/N: Hi everyone! First and most important thing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!💕🎉🎂 @flowers-in-your-hayr I want to wish you all the best on this day, I hope you enjoy this day as much as possible and hope this can make it a bit better! This year may not have been our best birthdays but next year we’ll celebrate them twice! You know I really admire your work but much more as a person! Thank you for always being so so nice, you’re great!💖

Second, here it is, me and my shitty writing. This is the first time I ever write anything (you’ll see) but a lovely little bird came and told me about this amazing surprise (@maggiescarborough​ 💖) and I couldn’t refuse. This is the moodboard I chose bc when I asked Gabi about it, I wrote more of a mini fic than a request (sorry about that, honey😅) so I thought it’ll be easier since I already have an idea.

And finally, to say that this can be considered as the first chapter of a small fic???, Idk,  if you want to read something else, I will continue it and if not, it can stay as a imagine. (Any feedback you want to give is always welcomed and will help me in the future!)

Okay that’s all, I think. Now I'll shut my mouth and let you guys read in peace😊

All credits to this amazing moodboard for the birthday girl @flowers-in-your-hayr​

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: First time writing (biggest warning), mention of death and suicide, cursing, drug dealing, a bit of angst, English not being my mother tongue. (I’m not sure if something else😅).

There you were, (Y/N) (Y/LN), facing the most important case you had encountered in your professional career, which, to tell the truth, was not very long. You were 24 years old and you were a policewoman at the local police station on a small island called Samsø, which together with some others as Læsø, Anholt and Sjælland were known as the 'Kattegat Islands'.

You started there when you were 22, with a lot of effort and after years of dedication, yes, it may sound like a joke, since you were very young, but since your father passed away, you decided to follow in his footsteps. He had become chief of police and worked in what was now your office. His death occurred unexpectedly, one day he went to work and didn't come back, your mother and you didn't know anything, but he had been working on a drug-related case for a long time, and they didn't clarify anything for you after his death either, justifying that it was a case of high danger and a secret file.

When your father died, you were given the belongings he was carrying on the day of his death. You didn't find anything out of the ordinary, just his watch, which had his initials on it, the car keys and his wallet, in which he carried the usual: some money, credit cards and a picture of  your mother and you as a child. From one of the compartments of the wallet, a small fragment of a photo was sticking out. It was very enlarged, only a small part of the face could be seen, it looked like a man, but his face didn't sound familiar to you and besides the fragment was very damaged, so you didn't give it much importance. Although you were intrigued to know the reason for that fragment in your father's wallet and you wanted to know the identity of that person, unfortunately you couldn't do anything about it. You put the items back in the bag and kept it in a drawer that you knew you wouldn't open often since it was with the rest of his belongings.

After this incident, you and your mother faced a difficult time when living at home without him was almost impossible. After a not very long period, you were able to return to your daily life and continued, but however, your mother did not get back on her feet, she went into a great depression. You tried psychologists at first and slowly it looked like she was getting better, but it seems she only did it to fall into an even bigger black hole.

From then on, you contacted a psychiatrist, after a year watching your mother was consumed with sadness you couldn't stand it any longer, even though she was resistant to taking medication you couldn't do anything else. She had been going to the psychiatrist for some time and the truth was that it wasn't going as you expected, your mother had a very negative attitude. She tried to avoid medication when you didn't force her, and for that reason none of the treatments worked.

You were desperate, time was passing, and you didn't know what to do anymore, until one day when you came home and you found your mother breathing very lightly and not responding to any kind of stimulus. She had decided to take her own life with a bottle of pills, yes, how ironic. When she was taken to the hospital, the doctors told you that her vital signs were very bad, the intake of medication had to be over six hours ago, and this had already affected a large part of the system. It was very difficult for her to survive, so much so that she couldn't.

21 years, just 21 years when you were left alone in the world, when everyone was getting drunk and having a hangover and throwing up the next morning, you were there struggling to get where you were today.

Although you couldn't have reached that point without the unconditional support of your father's great friend, Officer Heahmund. He had been like a second father to you, the only one you could lean on when these events occurred. Both he and his wife Anne and their little twins always had a place for you.

You could say you'd been investigating the case for a year and it was huge, really huge. Both you and your colleagues had reached an impasse, you couldn't get anything new, so you decided to take the reins and make a proposal... raid the shelter where the organization was hiding. You had managed, after a long time of tracking them down, to find out that every Thursday at 11.30 p.m. they went out to do business. If you calculated it perfectly, you could set up an ambush, surround the perimeter with your agents strategically, and force your way in, so you could examine the interior for clear, incriminating evidence and wait for them to come back and finally catch them and finish the damn case. From that point on, the game would begin.

Ivar Lothbrook, or also known as Ivar the Boneless, was the person you were chasing. Known to be the leader of the organization. Information about him was quite scarce, the son of a bitch knew how to remain anonymous, you didn't even know what he looked like. Although he also took part in the weekly excursions, he never got out of the vehicle they were in and you didn't dare get close enough to the shelter to see them leave, just as a precaution, so as not to spoil the case. All you knew was that the nickname he had earned was due to a disease he suffered from that made him unable to walk, Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

But you did know something else about his brothers, who were in charge of leading the band when they were doing field work and his brother Ivar was not there. There were three more brothers, the elder Ubbe, the second Hvitserk and the last Sigurd. You had pictures of them, which you had studied to a tee, and they didn't have any kind of background, something that caught your attention because in all these bands it's something common, but it seems that they were playing clean.

Tomorrow would be the big day and you had no margin for error. You decided to leave it at that, not think about it anymore. You opened a bottle of wine and ordered dinner at your favourite restaurant. You were going to enjoy that night quietly before going into action.

That night you practically didn't rest, your head didn't stop thinking and you were fighting against it for a long time, until finally you were victorious, being able to sleep. You promised yourself that it wouldn't be the only thing you would be victorious in.

The sound of the alarm woke you up, it was very early, although there were still hours to go, you had to be ready and needed to do certain things before preparing. You had arranged to meet at 8pm at the police station, you would go over the plan and wait until 10.30pm to put the plan into action. The day went away, you had gone out to buy some things that you needed, you had done some sport to clear your mind and you had taken a bath for an hour and a half which helped to relax each of your muscles that had been in constant tension for several days.

You got out of the shower, you started to fix yourself and for a moment you looked in the mirror, from bottom to top, and you looked into your eyes, you saw your father, you saw him in you.

- “Ivar, Ivar, what little freedom you have left” - You said in a defiant voice as you kept looking at yourself and feeling sure that everything would go as you planned.

What you didn't consider at the time is that in a game you don't always win, and even less when you don't know your opponent.

A phone call took you out of your thoughts, you hesitated for a few seconds before reacting, you went into the kitchen and picked up the phone:

- “Hi, (Y/N) here”.

- “Hello, sweetheart, how are you?” Your boss asked with some concern in his voice.

-  “I'm doing good, getting ready to leave soon. Anything happened?”

-  “No, nothing, I just wanted to remind you, that you still have time to stop this, I can send another partner, I don't want you to do this out of obligation” - said Heahmund, with some hesitation.

- “Heahmund, we've talked about this a million times, I'm gonna take care of it. We've gone over the plan every day; we've looked at alternatives in case the first option doesn't work out and you have an expert in infiltrating other people's homes in charge of the plan... What can go wrong? Trust me, before you can tell, we're in your backyard drinking beers with Anne and the girls, celebrating together as a family, while Ivar the Boneless is rotting in jail” - You said with certainty

- “Ever since you were a little girl I've always admired that about you: Determined, brave and a fighter, which has always made you achieve everything you set out to do - he answered with a broken voice” - I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in the world now that no one is around. See you in a bit, Agent 007.

As he spoke you noticed some concern in his voice, was Heahmund afraid of the mission?... Impossible, he was known for his courage and dedication but in this situation,  you could not avoid that this insecurity that you did not feel for a long time will hit you again.

Since the death of your father you had changed, you had become steel, as you said, you had no heart for anyone, you had focused so much on getting ahead and getting what you had in mind that you had forgotten one very important thing, being a teenager. And now that time was gone.

Still, you burst out laughing when he called you Agent 007

- “Thank you, Jack Bauer” - you said, playing along, referring to those movies and action shows you loved to watch together when you were younger.

You hung up and then felt a sense of emptiness and… fear? No, you weren't going to let that happen. You certainly knew that you had to occupy your mind at that moment, or you would go crazy. So, you connected your phone to the speaker and put on your favourite playlist and time passed with you getting ready until it was time to leave. You took the bike keys, a beautiful Harley-Davidson and got going.

When you arrived at the police station your colleagues and Heahmund were already there, you went over the plan and waited for the exact time to start.

It was 11:15, the game had begun. You were about to head for the first stop on your mission. The aim in this phase was to park in the surroundings of the main highway, where Ivar and his people had to go through, so you could check that everything was in order, and that the usual Thursday trip would take place. You arrived before time, it was night and the highway was slightly illuminated by distant lanterns. The place had been carefully chosen as there were certain points where you could wait in stealth.

As time passed, you became more and more nervous and couldn't help it. There was something in your head that wouldn't let you concentrate. Heahmund noticed it and said:

-  “What's going on in that little head, (Y/N)?” - He said in a sweet tone.

-  “Hmm...nothing, I'm fine” - you whispered as you looked for his glance and smiled.

-  “Come on, (Y/N), I know you too well to know that something is bothering you”

- “Ugh, I hate you Heahmund… what if they don't come, if for whatever reason today doesn't happen” - you said losing your nerve a little

-  “Hey, hey, hey and this? Where's my little fighter? They're going to do it, you'll see, and before dawn they'll all be behind bars”

- “How can you be so sure?”

- “I just know” - he said with confidence and came up to you kissing you on the head

You needed it, you needed someone telling you that everything would be fine, with your 24 years you were tired of playing grown-up, strong and lonely. You had always needed that love, but that side of you was known only by Heahmund and he had always been there to give it to you.

You did not have much more time to get melancholy, it was happening, Ivar and his people could be seen from afar. They were organized in three black armoured cars and four motorcycles guarding the sides. You saw how they passed before you, in a heartbeat everything you had feared had happened, the only part of the plan that did not fall on you had worked. Now everything depended on you. You waited a few minutes and both of you, along with several patrol cars, set off. Some of your colleagues stayed in the place so that they could control when they returned and thus warn those of you who were going to the shelter.

Second stop on the mission, the shelter. Ivar and his people owned an apartment building where they used to stay permanently, it was on the outskirts of town, in the middle of nowhere. You had left your vehicles a few meters behind, also hidden, so as not to cause any noise. You found yourselves walking quietly in the dark with your guns in hand, towards an old building. When you reached the right distance, you appreciated the immensity of the building with enough housing to accommodate several families. The facade was neglected, yellowish-coloured, and you could see the doors of each house, white and many of them peeling and battered. Plus, right next door was what looked like a big warehouse. Everything was surrounded by metal fences.

Your companions began to take their positions as you had planned and you and Heahmund continued to approach, until you reached the side of the fence so that you could climb without attracting attention.

You looked at Heahmund and nodded just as you turned to move forward alone you noticed how he grabbed your arm, your heart racing as he said:

- “I'll keep an eye on everything that happens, the moment I hear something out of the ordinary, even if you don't say the code word, we'll get in and get you out”

- “Damn, Heahmund, you scared me... yes, I know, don't worry” - you said losing your patience a little

And now it was time, holding your SIG Sauer firmly in your hands and checking for the last time that the microphone you were holding in the middle of your bra was properly placed, you were ready to move forward. You approached the front door of the warehouse. If there was anything interesting to look for, it would be there. You pulled the lock pick out of your pocket and picked the lock easily. You opened the door a couple of inches, at that moment your heart felt like it was going to come out of its socket. You checked that the light inside was off, you continued to open it completely and you went inside quietly. It was all dark, you stood still for a few seconds to pay attention to all the sound around you. You could only hear the “tick tock” of a clock. You looked at the wall for a light switch, found it and turned it on. Several fluorescent lights illuminated the big warehouse, some of them failing and blinking making the place even more scary. For a few seconds the light blinded you because of the contrast of the dark night to which your eyes had been used so far. You took a quick look, ducked your head and whispered into the microphone:

- “Clear”

You raised your head and for the first time you stopped to look around. It was immense, the walls were covered with high shelves where there were pots of all kinds, some were full and some were empty, there were boxes, masks, safety goggles, gloves and all kinds of chemical devices. There was a long table on the side with many chairs, some lying on the floor, others on top of the table... that place reminded you of a typical high school lab from which the most you could do was decant a mixture. You were surprised... they were cooking drugs there... "Well, what a dump" you said to yourself; you thought everything would be much more careful and not such a messy place as that.

And in the middle of all that mess, at the end of the room you found a big wooden desk and a big black leather armchair behind it, it seemed that that little space didn't belong in the room, it was all tidy and on the table the only thing that was there was some papers, small pictures and office material. You approached and saw some maps with certain points marked... What were these points? You thought that it could be some meeting place or points of sale, you took out the PDA and uploaded the photo to the police station network.

- “I think I found something, I just uploaded it to the network” -You said in a whisper

You didn't have any answers, nor did you notice much of it, since you got caught up in a huge painting right behind the desk. In it appeared a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair. It was just a painting, but you could feel the elegance of that woman in it. Next to her was a taller man who looked slightly older, shaven and with a long beard with white locks. He was in a suit and showed a great presence just like the woman. But there was something that caught your attention, the look of him, his intense blue eyes seemed to pierce you as if you were seeing them in person. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes betrayed his maturity. You stared for a while, curious, until you came back to reality, took a quick look again to see if anything could be useful, but nothing. So, you retraced your steps and headed for the door. You tried to communicate with your colleagues again:

- “Guys, nothing else around here, I'm going back to my starting position” - You whispered again.

And at that moment you froze, you were listening to yourself double and your "double" was coming right out the door. Time stopped for you, you didn't understand anything, and the only thing you could think of was to hide behind the door. This one opened little by little and you started to listen how people came in... one, two, three... you were counting the steps to be able to calculate the number of people, you lost the count to the fifth since such a quantity would be impossible to face and come out victorious.

- “SHHHH, shut up... do you hear it?” - said a male voice you didn't recognize.

What you could hear was your breathing shaking through a walkie... at that moment the world fell apart. A police walkie in the hands of those assholes, something hadn't gone right, and you didn't know what.

- “Yeah, it smells weird too, doesn't it?” - said another male voice, but this one sounded much more ironic.

- “I don't know Ivar I don't smell anything... what do you smell?” - Said a third voice, the closest so far to your position.

- “Mmm I don't know it's a disgusting smell, something like... police”

At that very moment they closed the door, leaving you exposed. You saw five men, but you didn't have time for much else as the one closest to you, that you came to recognize was Ubbe, grabbed your arm and made a quick movement blocking it, causing your gun to fall to the ground. He drew you to his body by placing your back to him and holding your neck with his arm, doing a lock around it to immobilize you. You looked ahead, saw a young man slowly approaching you and examining you from bottom to top until your eyes connected, deep blue and intimidating gaze. To tell the truth, he was a very attractive guy, but that idea was automatically erased when you remembered who he was. Something stirred in your stomach, you didn't know if it was fear, hate or a mixture. Slowly a cynical smile appeared in his mouth. Definitely, it was disgust what you had noticed in your stomach seconds ago. You could have tried to get out of that grip, but you didn't see the point, they were five men over six feet. It was impossible, to get out of there. Ubbe kept pressing his arm against your neck, causing your senses to slowly fade away.

- “Well, well, and I thought this wasn't going to be fun" said the boy in front of you in a hesitant voice. - Nice to meet you, I am Ivar Lothbrook - he said extending his hand

That was the last thing you could see and hear before you lost total control over your body and thus your senses.

The game had started... like a shitty one.  

married au where shawn dies (or fakes his death if we want a happier ending - but gus doesn’t know it’s fake because it’d never be believable if gus knew the truth)

anyways take your pick but gus during either one + the song “i can’t breathe” by bea miller

:)

I WAS A DUMB BITCH AND LOST A BUNCH OF STUFF I WROTE ON THIS BUT PRETTY MUCH: HEY MADISON PLS STOP BEING MEAN? BUT I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS™ ON THIS AU TWO IN PARTICULAR AND NOT TO BE PREDICTABLE BUT NO DEATHS HERE ONLY FAKE ONES:

1) on the early seasons, due to a case of week gone really south, some guy wants to kill shawn. sbpd make him "go missing" (bc faking his death and stuff is too complicated yknow?) and only a selected few, vick+lassiter+jules included, are aware of what's happening. shawn hates it bc well why wouldn't he? he knows it will worry gus so much and he just wishes he could pass like two weeks with his husband in some secluded area or whatever. bonus not having henry worried too bc like even if he's not in the greastest of terms with him, it's still smth yknow?

anyway, the police needs to tell the family (gus & henry), and it goes bad. frankly, gus isn't even sure he registered anything after "shawn spencer is missing" was said. henry, on the other hand, has too many thoughts in his head, because he knows shawn can take care of himself, but it's his kid, he can only but worry. they sort of stay there with no reaction some time after the officer leaves, until gus just breaks and falls to the floor crying. it snaps henry out, and he realizes the gravity of the situation, and he finally hugs gus, in this despair-comfort wet pile in the middle of the living room.

henry takes gus to his parents' house to stay for some time. they both know he wouldn't be able to cope alone, so the best place to stay is with mr. & mrs. guster. those first days are something, for certain. his parents are too soft with gus, the bed's too big, and at random moments he has meltdowns where he can't breathe and it only worries his parents even more. he doesn't go to work, and jules tries to call him to cheer him up, but gus's phone is so forgotten its lost all battery. he only really talks to henry, because at least he understands, somewhat, but it still feels different. he wants to talk about shawn, about the little things he did in the morning, and his obsession with pretty in pink, and so many moments he can barely listen them all, but he can't, his tears won't let him.

the days pass quickly, and gus barely notice them. he's tired, and there's no shawn to sheer him up or drag him to some crazy stuff to do. when gus wakes up somewhat better, he goes to the station and doesn't leave until it's the start of the night and jules takes him to eat something ("you need to eat" "and you need to look better for shawn" "it's not easy like that, gus, please understand" "well it certainly should be!"). gus completely forgets about the case, the reason shawn's "missing" in the first place. well, he didn't forget, he even brought it up to jules, asking if they theorized if that guy was involved in this. but he gave it up, because psych is him and shawn, so it doesn't make to even try to do anything. gus's been sleeping in, staying in bed for too long, schedule totally lost.

it's been a week and something already, and gus doesn't wanna get up. he heard the house phone ringing earlier, and hours later, someone came by, and whoever it was talked in some hushed tones with the gusters. gus deepens himself in the bedsheets so much he might as well not leave today, give up on today and only be a proper person tomorrow (or two days from now). he's almost falling asleep when he hears footsteps coming. "i will get up later, mom" he says, a little muffled by the pillows. the door opens anyway. "mom-" he stops dead and his air goes away. "hi, sorry for taking so long" shawn says with a sheepish grin. gus stares for some seconds and he can already feel the tears starting to form. he jumps from the bed and hugs him tightly, and then steps away to properly see his husband. "you're here" "i am" and it feels very much a soft, tender moment, until gus starts screaming. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS? I THOUGHT YOU KNEW I WOULD BE DEVASTATED! DID CHIEF VICK EVEN SEND ANYONE TO INVESTIGATE?" he stops for a second and looks, really looks ate shawn, trying to not laugh at his hysterical husband, but with some tears shining his eyes, too "oh, thank god you came back save to me" he finishes, kissing his man.

2) this time, it's fake death, so this really the only about your ask, sorry kjsksjs. anyway, i'm not really sure on what makes shawn fake his death, but i think something to do with the yin/yang cases. just, yknow, something goes really, really south. (i only vaguely know how those victim/witness protection stuff happen so, sorry) shawn doesn't want to give up on his life, give up on gus, but there's not really another option, it's this, or actually dying, and shawn chooses this. high ranking officers in the sbpd know, and henry knows, but only those people. shawn moves to san francisco, and henry helps him settle down and keeps him noted on how's gus doing.

gus reacts horribly, of course. (i also only vaguely know how the grief proccess happens so, sorry) he's not even sure if he's having a panic attack, an anxiety attack, a meltdown, a breakdown, some episode he doesn't know about, or some mixture of all. it hurts. it hurts so bad. and he hates how people act with him, how it makes everything worse, their words and expressions, it's a punch in an already destroyed but. he's not even sure how the hell he's supposed to plan a funeral like this.

it's in the first days of planning that he starts to question this. his mom say it's denial, "i know it's hard, darling, but remember it will be okay. it's normal to feel like this" but it's different. yes, this denial can be easily mistaken by the usual denial of grief, but it's not. it feels off, the no body and the explanations. he doesn't want to believe in it, but the day of the damned funeral approaches, and he will have to believe in it. thinking about it already makes it hard to breath, he knows if he accepts he will break, and he's trying really hard not to.

gus grows tired, of the empty bed, of the too big apartment, of the little rituals he didn't notice but now feel like a sore thumb that they can't do it, he feels tired of everything. somehow, at some point, he accepts whatever he saw off was just his brain reaching for anything for confirm that this wasn't real, shawn was alive somewhere, waiting for him, etc etc. he went to a therapist, and his grief held to him tighter and heavier than anything ever could, and he never took off his ring.

and then, years after, jules moves to san francisco, just like in canon, and some months later, gus visits her, because she's his friend, and it would be nice to see san francisco. and one day, when he's walking around the tourist traps, he sees shawn. he doesn't believe it, and he can't breathe anymore and the tears start falling, and he hates how it's been years but he still reacts like that. but then shawn starts to go towards him, and gus can barely hold himself up now, because oh my god, shawn is here, he's alive, in flesh and blood, right here in front of him, and he can't believe it, but he does believe it, maybe too quickly, but he does, he doesn't care anything. shawn holds gus, holds his face and tries to dry his tears which keep falling more and more. "gus, gus, i'm so sorry, i'm so, so sorry. please be okay. don't cry. i'm here, don't cry" gus laughs a little, somehow, and he too cleans some of the tears on shawn's face, "look who's talking" he stops for a beat, and another, and another, just looking at and touching shawn, absorving it all "i can't believe it, you're real, i'm not dreaming, i know i'm not. don't ever leave me like that again" he envellops himself into shawn, kissing his cheek dry, and for once, gus breathes like he used too.

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Also I'm sure Elaine Jenkinson was not gay on the series, and that Tracey Childs the actress who portrays her was not gay either, but I got this inspiration for the character and I needed to follow it, I'm sorry in advance if this upset you in any way.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

First Previous Next

Chapter 15: Home

The alarm clock marked 5:30 a.m. and behind the curtains of Elaine Jenkinson the sun still hadn't rise. She was not surprised, since the news of the new case she had been waking up early, and since last night meeting she was more anxious about how to proceed on Jonathan's Norbury murder investigation.

The Chief Superintendent of broadchurch police shake away her concerns and got out of bed, she make herself a cup of tea and took it back to her room while she got ready, careful to not wake up her wife, she loved that woman more than life, but she had many opinions on why she shouldn't bring food to the room.

She reflected once again on how last night events have occurred, trying to feel less as a backstabber, but she was sure Ellie Miller will forgive her. Marry someone who does something different than you for a living she thought, while Martha's calm breath was calling her back to bed.

She always believed that had been the secret on why they had been together for that long, and on why Alec and Miller didn't, she knew the man, and as much as she respected his strengths and capacities, he often let his job got the best of him, and now it may actually became a problem.

This was not like Sandbrook, she was sure, but she was not entirely convinced to gave him the benefit of the doubt again. She adjusted her tie and make sure her hair was on site before finishing her tea cup.

"You better get that back in the kitchen" Martha said softly, opening her beautiful brown eyes, how a strict librarian could have that sweet beautiful look she would never know.

"I was about to do so" Elaine said with a grin. "I have to go early, we have a briefing today and I'm a bit anxious" She could always speak her mind outloud to her, and even when they have completely opposite views on life she would always listen.

"And you are afraid you have to take Hardy out of the case" She pointed out when Elaine kept playing with her tie.

"Is not like he is sleeping with the witness, is just that all this circumstances seem odd, is not like him, and I know Miller defended him, but then is this whole Becca situation" she sited back in bed deflated, begging for her wife to hold her back in, but she was wiser to not doing so, and just gave her the advice she needed.

"Hardy may be the most obnoxious, temperamental and stoic man I have met, but he is professional, I understand your concern about what Becca had to say, but honestly that woman is not exactly a trustworthy source, I think you should listen to him before taking action" Elaine smiled and was about to give her a kiss because god this woman always bring sense to his life "And bring your bloody mug back in the kitchen" she add with a cheeky smile and turn around to sleep some more knowing well what could happen if she didn't, she could make up for it at night.

On the other side of the city, with the morning wind stroking his windows Alec Hardy was putting together every last piece of evidence, they had people on the street making interviews, and the honey trap they put on Mike Bolzano was way over budget so, they might had to defend their need for resources from the Chief Superintendent, although he had confidence that Jenkinson would be reasonable.

"Coffee? Tea? A toast??" Daze said peaking from the partially open door, and he let her come inside.

"I'll have breakfast at the station, are you sure you are okay by yourself?" He said picking his papers and putting the rest of his investigation in a locked drawer.

"Do you mean if I'm okay here with a murder suspect who you totally have a crush on?" She said with a grin that only received an stoic look as a response "Relax, I'm joking, I'll go out to do some shopping for Beth's party, I asume I will see you and Miller there" She said brushing aside the awkward situation.

"Sure, I'll try to be there." He said and was ready to leave avoiding by all means to look at his room.

"Can I bring your prisoner? She says she is friends with the Latimer's."

"I don't know if that's a good idea" He said, and Dasy didn't miss the fact that he didn't gave her a flat no.

"Well I see you later dad, have a great day" She gave him a hug, a weird thing to do from her, but welcomed in the situation, and he exited the house; he couldn't resist giving one last glance back once he was leaving and he catch a friendly waving from Y/N on his livingroom, he almost smiled but he stop himself, like he had been doing this last days since he realized the nature of his feelings for her.

He drove by the station and saw Ellie getting down of Brian's car, and another strange gut feeling make him ... Angry? Jealous? She looked happy next to him, maybe he was mad to himself because she was not smiling like that when she was with him.

"Morning" Chief Elaine said once they were all reunited in the center of the station, after the normative report of the other departments and some advances on some small drug selling business it was his turn to address the officers.

"This is our time line of events so far" He started and pointed to the whiteboard. "Jonathan Norbury was found dead on Sunday, April 21, by his fiance on her beach cottage around 6:30 pm, since she suffers from a mental condition she had a anxiety crisis that lead to her wandering on the street so we were notified, and we discovered the body a couple hours later."

Miller was next to him waiting for his turn to speak thinking about how she would bring the news to him, Sir I'm moving in with my boyfriend also the chief wants you out of the case because you are in love with that woman... No, the Sir was too formal. Dear Alec? No, she was not writing a letter, maybe just the truth.

The chief invited Brian to dinner after they had a nice match of tennis last week and she went with him, she expressed some concerns about Hardy and the case and Miller tried to put her mind at ease, but even she was not entirely convinced that his interests on the case were just professional, and she would be lying if she didn't admit that she felt a tiny bit jealous about the way Alec cared for the teacher.

"On the development of the investigation we uncovered an allegation of sexual assault committed against miss Y/L/N, on the night of April 6th, wich lead to her fiance to break his affair to an unknown woman whose DNA was found in some sex toys and underwear on the victim's house, also this was a pivotal point to exacerbate Y/L/N's mental breakdowns, wich we believe was used by the murder to fabricate incriminating evidence against her"

"So you don't believe the girl did it?" One of the officers asked talking notes on a small notepad.

"We haven't end that line of investigation, but the forensics report indicates that the victim was strangled and it would have required an enormous amount of force to do so, also the fiance was outside with a friend at the time the coroner estimates he died." Miller said, and the fact that evidence supported her innocence calmed her mind about Hardy being naive towards her.

"How come she went out if she had just been raped?" Another officer, and old man asked and she could feel Hardy getting tense and angry behind her, but strangely Harford took the lead before any of them could react.

"The victim was not aware this had happened, she was drugged with Rohypnol, and we had gotten ten new accusations against the BC Dreamland" She said and pinned a couple of the pictures of the new victims at the board. "And the attack was confirmed by the teacher's friend, who add nor she or her fiance wanted to report it to spare her the trouble of going trough this kind of bullshit questions Gordon" She add savagely and the guy only look aside embarrassed.

"We also found matching DNA in the victim's car where the attack happened, and on Y/L/N's engagement ring, which was partially destroyed and left on the victim, it belongs to a male but it has not being identified, and we believe this person who also was captured in a surveillance tape driving the victim's car and picking her at the school on the day the body was found might be the killer" Miller said and showed them the captures from the school system.

They took on some more questions and even though she feel like she had an overwhelming amount of evidence in the end there was not enough to follow any line.

But something about the crushed ring hadn't stop resonating on Harford's mind, and after they were dismissed she picked up her phone and called someone she had promise herself she wouldn't.

"Hey darling, are you ready to give me an interview?" Ollie's overconfident voice said on the phone and she sighed knowing already this was a bad idea.

"Call me darling again and I'm hanging up" she said dryly.

"Fine, fine. What can I do for you, officer Harford?" He said with pretend reverence, wich she didn't prefer to his exaggerate flirting.

"I might have an exclusive for you, but you have to do me a favor" She said and he dropped his act immediately because he knew she meant business.

After the call ended and once again she decline his invitation to dinner she called agent Ramos, it was overtime but this way they might found something.

Meanwhile CS Jenkinson was trying to bring the subject to Hardy as practically as she could, she had seen Miller concerned face when she ask her to leave them alone, and she suspect that she hadn't had the chance to tell him they had dinner the night before.

"I had an interesting conversation with Becca fisher on Wednesday" She started, and he looked surprised. "She said to me that you visited the Trader's with one of the witnesses last Monday"

"I did, but don't make it sound that way" he said understanding where the conversation was heading "I interviewed Y/N..." Damn it Hardy get it together "Miss Y/L/N friend Ashley to know more about her knowledge on the attack and the bar owner, but it was a dead end" he said honestly.

"Also your partner is concerned about how you have handled the living situation of the victim's fiance" She said and for the first time he looked surprised, and maybe a little sad and disappointed.

"Miller said that?" He asked quietly, and she was now sure that she haven't talk to him about last night.

"Not exactly, but we have a chat recently and I think she might be worried about you getting too close to the case, although I don't think she would doubt of your professionalism" She said trying to don't throw her under de bus. "Is there anything I should be worried about Alec?" She used his first name trying to invite him to be open about the situation.

"Absolutely not" he lied maybe too quickly "I mean, Y/N is living in my house to prevent her from getting another attack and if I had any evidence that suggests she is guilty I would follow it, you have no reason to doubt that" he said calmly "Nor Miller" he add with sad eyes again. "Am I getting out of the case?"

"Not yet, and your words are a relief to hear, but I'll be looking into this closely, now you can leave" She said and he stand up, but before he reached the door she add "If it wasn't murder... well I would understand, you wouldn't be the first detective in broadchurch to get personal with a subject" She smiled briefly.

"Really? Have you done something so unprofessional?" He asked turning around.

"Oh definitely, long time ago, not a murder case obviously but I got too close to this woman who reported a vandalism act on her workplace, I was a detective then" She said with a bright smile and even when he may already know the answer he asked anyway.

"Too close? What did you do?"

"I married her" she said and he gave her a side smile before exiting the office.

The rest of the morning was a nightmare, he avoid spending more than five minutes alone with Miller, he wasn't mad, just ashamed that this childish feelings were interfering with his job, and on the other hand he was angry to realize that once she was not around his job was not exactly enjoyable anymore, nor like it was before, but with the Sandbrook case he had a sense of responsibility to fill, and with Danny Latimer he needed to prove to himself he was still capable, now he knew he was capable but even when he had solved every new case for the past five years at the end of the day he was coming back to an empty house, and now with Miller about to start a new life with Brian, and Daze in Uni, he was not sure if his job was going to be enough.

A small ridiculous voice in his head told him that Y/N might still be there when this was over, but he knew how ridiculous and unrealistic that was, but at the same time he desperately want it to be truth.

"Ready sir?" Ellie said, and there was a caution in her voice that he hated, she didn't have to be afraid of his reaction, if anything she was right he was getting to damn close to the case, and he deserved to be told on to the chief.

"Sure, let's go" he said and followed her to his car.

"Alec... I have to tell you...I don't know how to start" she was revolving on the driver seat while they go to the Latimer's.

"Jenkinson told me" He said trying to spare her the trouble "Remember me to never doubt on your threats again" he said with what could almost be a playful tone.

"Well you better stop making me worry about this girls around you then" She said relieved he didn't hate her "I'm joking, I know for sure you wouldn't do anything so monumentally stupid, is just that this case gets weirder at every turn and I don't know, maybe is time for me to take a step back" She said and his worst fear of having to keep doing his work alone materialize in front of him. "But who would avoid Katie to kill you when you are being an arse? No we better finish this one and get back to normal don't you think?" She laughed off the situation but they both knew that when this situation was over their relationship won't be the same.

And as a way of the universe to prove her point the very reason of this separating was standing on Beth Latimer's living room, young and beautiful, and with the smile of a woman who hadn't been married to a psychopath, and didn't have to sneak around from her children to shag her boyfriend.

And she almost started laughing when the realization hit her, she was jealous, like a silly child she was jealous that he might found another woman on his life, murderer or not, it was the idea of him dating anyone what had her in that state, it could be another dumb blond girl from tinder or even an old woman from town, it could be anyone, it was the fact that he would smile and look at someone else the way he had once look at her what upset her, and then she felt guilty since he might have felt the same about Brian, and her selfishness make her sick, he had his right to fall for any woman he wanted, and she was being ridiculous.

And she silently prayed that this girl whose smile now she could see was sad because she lost the love of her life, and that was apart from everyone since they all look at her like an animal in a zoo, was innocent, so she could make him happy the way he deserved, and the way she had simply not being able to do.

Miller disappeared to the backyard to say hi to Mark and Hardy went on to check on Daze, apparently she and Chloe were now good again, and every couple minutes his eyes meet with Y/N, who was laughing next to Paul and Beth, he wanted to say You look beautiful like that, and when the dinner was served and she sited across the table from him he wanted to be the one pulling out the chair for her instead of Paul.

He wanted to be the one that make her laugh, he wanted to be the one who would dance with her in the back yard once the kids went to sleep and the adults were trying to finish all the wine bottles in the house.

Mark gave his wife a loud kiss that was greeted with howls from the guests, and Alec drank the rest of his wine to avoid his mind wandering on how her lips would feel, the sober shade of lipstick on her was stained with the apple juice she had been drinking to avoid alcohol and she looked too adorable.

"Do you need a bucket?" Beth said once he was helping her pick up the dishes while the girls left with Chloe's boyfriend to watch a movie and be apart from the old ones, and Miller left a few moments later.

"What?"

"You are drooling DI Hardy" She said and he felt embarrassed. "It's okay, I won't think less of you, and I really don't think she is guilty, but you should be quick, Paul seem to be very interested on her too" She wink at him and she went on to kiss Mark again, and he understood the wine might be the reason she was so blunt with him. But she was right, Paul was being too polite around her, and he felt the desperate need to do something about it.

"Is getting late isn't it?" He said to her and he took her by her elbow, she was surprised by the authority in his voice but not at all upset.

"Totally, I was telling Paul that I don't think Daze will be back soon, we might as well wait for her at home...I mean at your house detective" She said and his brain stop functioning with that simple little word.

"I'm actually going to stay a little longer to help Mark with some issues on his computer, I can bring her home when she is back" Paul said ruining the moment but saving him from smile like an idiot. "You should go get some rest" he said to her and she nodded.

"Then shall we?" She said to him and he nodded, and he couldn't help to feel a juvenile pride, father Coats might have been dancing around her the whole night but he was the one taking her home.

"Fine, let's go" he said and gave Beth a nod as goodbye, to wich she gave him a naughty wink, indicating that maybe she was as drunk as he thought.

"It was a good cake" She said once they were on his car, she sounded so casual and he felt like they had been doing this forever, and maybe it was that glass of wine, but for the rest of the ride he decided to ignore that part of his brain that used to tell him this wasn't real.

"Really good, really good meal too"

"Is nice that she can laugh now, and she and Mark they look so cute together don't they?" She said with a naive smile. "I just hope after all that wine they don't try to get Lizzie a brother" she said with a chuckle and he joined her distracted.

"Oh that would be too much chaos for them"

"Was Dasy a troublemaker?"

"Oh she was terrible" He said but he smiled remembering fondly her daughter baby years. "Where you?"

"I don't know, people probably said I was an angel, but it was too long ago to know for sure"

"It was not too long ago, you are practically a child" He said and she look delighted.

"34 is not a child in any way"

"It is compared to 47" he said exposing his biggest fear about them.

"I feel like 80 if it helps" she said the conversation was paused while they entered his place.

She tossed her shoes aside and walked inside, he was used to her dancing barefoot on his floor now, however she looked particularly perfect at the moment.

"That would explain your taste in books" he said and sited on his couch. And for all answer she sited impossibly close to him, close enough for him to smell her perfume, a fresh scent, like the ocean but at the same time peaceful and sweet like a flower field on the spring and he desperately wanted to know how something could capture so perfectly someone essence.

"Is basically the same books you like detective" She said and he couldn't respond since all coherent thinking was lost on her eyes and dies on her mouth.

"Then I might be 80" he said and the last fiber of restraint evaporated when her hand reached for his face

"We can be old together" she said and he was praying for him to read her eyes well, she had been through so much and he would never want to force anything on her, but his pleas were answered at the moment "You even have some gray showing here" she said touching his hair.

And parted her lips smiling and he couldn't resist anymore, he pull her close to him and hold on to her like a dead man holds on to life and finally broke the distance between his and her lips.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale @acid-gurkerl

The Man in the Barrel

Some excellent observations from @ebaeschnbliah with an addition from @raggedyblue (X) made me reflect a little over the topic of Nelson in BBC Dracula, and the idea of having someone enclosed in a barrel. In Blood Vessel, when they are searching the ship Demeter for hidden murder victims and murderers, Dracula finds the young deckhand Piotr about to open a big barrel on deck, and tells him the following anecdote - apparently to distract Piotr - about Nelson after the Battle of Trafalgar (1805): 

COUNT DRACULA: Admiral Nelson was killed at the Battle of Trafalgar. Died of his wounds, they say. And they wanted to get him back to England with all speed. National hero. The British are very keen on that sort of thing. But Spain is quite a way, and it was hot, so what do you think they did? They put the old admiral into a barrel of rum to preserve him. 

PIOTR: No!

COUNT DRACULA: True. Trouble is, they didn’t tell the crew. So when they got home to England, they found out that those thirsty sailors had been helping themselves to a drop or two all they way back to Portsmouth.

(Continued under the cut)

Then Dracula digs his hand into the barrel and pretends there’s a monster in there that grabs his arm. He does this apparently to joke with Piotr, but then he scares him away by being creepy.

I can’t help thinking that this reference must have some metaphorical meanings, so I took to read some more about Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson (X). 

First of all, the anecdote seemed rather exaggerated to me. Looking it up, Dracula’s version appears very much like a tall tale. According to Wikipedia, Nelson’s body was actually transported ”in a cask of brandy mixed with campher and myrrh, which was then lashed to Victory’s main mast and placed under guard”. Not a barrel, thus, and not rum. If the cask was placed under guard, I very much doubt that any crew member would dare to even approach it, not to mention drink from its content. But there’s apparently a grain of truth in the story; Nelson’s body was preserved in alcohol onboard.

Nelson is one of the most famous British national heroes; a high-ranked naval officer who sacrificed his life for his country in battle and brought Britain to a glorious victory over Napoleon. 

By the way; Thatcher, another (in)famous British leader, is in BBC Sherlock rather compared to Napoleon, since The Six Thatchers is a direct reference to ACD’s The Six Napoleons. And Napoleon, as pointed out in @raggedyblue’s addition (X) has resemblances with Jim Moriarty - the ”Napoleon of crime”. In my opinion Moriarty in BBC Sherlock (among other symbolisms, and maybe this is the case also in ACD canon) represents homophobia.

Anyway, Nelson fought many battles and lost an eye and an arm in them, so the pirate references are actually there too. Dracula even puts emphasis on this:

As Dracula also points out, Nelson is a national hero for the British people.

Going by Wikipedia, Nelson was very popular already when he was alive. He’s described as a skilled strategic war leader who cared about his troops, and the Battle of Trafalgar did lead to a great victory for his country. But he also appears as a rather controversial human being (X); his behaviour is described as self-centered and ”vain” (X), he actively supported slavery (X), and he definitely cheated on his wife (X). He also seems to stubbornly have not listened to some advice from his fellow naval officers at the Trafalgar battle (X), which otherwise might have saved his life. One piece of advice was that he should “remove the decorations on his coat, so that he would not be so easily identified by enemy sharpshooters”, but Nelson refused, and was shot.

Another interesting thing about the Battle of Trafalgar is the marine signal flags that Nelson used on the HMS Victory to transmit the following famous message to the part of the British fleet present on site:

"England expects that every man will do his duty" (X)

Flag combinations represent the three last letters of the message. Picture by J.M.W. Turner, (X). HMS Victory still exists, by the way, and is the world’s oldest naval ship still in commission! (X)

I have tried to explore the meaning of signal flags in TFP, BBC Sherlock, in this meta, including the interesting discussion that followed (X).

A statue of Admiral Nelson (X), on a 52 m high column, stands in the center of Trafalgar Square in London, guarded by four sculpted lions that weigh 7 tons each. The square is a large meeting point in London, which is often venue for different kinds of political demonstrations. I mentioned it in this post about the punk rock musician Tom Robinson (X), who was most famous in the seventies for his fight for LGBTQ rights. There’s this photo of Tom and his band at a protest against the prosecution of the magazine Gay News, London 1978 on Trafalgar Square, where Tom in my opinion looks a great deal like Sherlock, coat and all (X). 

Trafalgar square also figures several times in BBC Sherlock - once per series in fact. In TBB (S1) Sherlock and John cross Trafalgar Square, talking about codes and ciphers: 

In TRF (S2) there’s a scene where the police car carrying Sherlock and John to the court passes Trafalgar Square, while John is telling Sherlock what he ought to remember once they arrive. We see Nelson’s statue reflected in the car window:

And then there’s one moment in TEH (S3), when John and Sherlock are discussing older underground stations via Skype with the nerdy train enthusiast Howard Shilcott. One of the stations mentioned is Trafalgar Square.

Trafalgar Square and the Strand. Hmm...

Last but not least, in TLD (S4) Sherlock and Faith/Eurus pass Trafalgar square on their little night stroll through the streets of London:

Anyway, enough about Trafalgar Square; back to Nelson and his (supposed) barrel. A man being held in a barrel also makes me think of the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes the Cynic (404-323 BC), who used to live in a huge clay wine jar (X). According to Wikipedia Diogenes “made it his life's goal to challenge established customs and values” and also “considered his avoidance of earthly pleasures a contrast to and commentary on contemporary Athenian behaviors. This attitude was grounded in a disdain for what he regarded as the folly, pretence, vanity, self-deception, and artificiality of human conduct.” Quite the opposite of Nelson, I’d say. :) But doesn’t it sound a little bit like Sherlock’s opinion about marriage and weddings in his best man speech in TSoT? ;)

In art Diogenes is often depicted surrounded by dogs (X):

(X) Diogenes believed human beings live artificially and hypocritically and would do well to study the dog. He also carried around a lamp “looking for an honest man”.

There’s also a dirty joke about ‘being in the barrel’, as described by Urban Dictionary (X). (I suggest you look it up for yourselves if you’re interested, though, because I’m not gonna reproduce it here ;))) )

So, in summary: Nelson is a national hero known for having sacrificed his life for his country. But he’s also pirate-like, he takes foolish risks and seems to care little about his own survival. He’s an old ‘war lord’ (like Dracula), and Napoleon (= Moriarty - or Thatcher in BBC Sherlock) is his adversary. He dies in battle in a war against Napoleon, but after his ‘fall’, he gets preserved in alcohol, and (like Dracula) the legend about him lives on for eternity. He’s ‘Un-Dead’ and preserved for ever, but doesn’t seem ‘real’ any more. But there’s also another side of him, where he is a controversial figure; vain (’posh’?) and extravagant. In BBC Dracula we hear a tall tale about his fate, where he ends up inclosed in a barrel. Going with the Diogenes analogy, the barrel and an ascetic living could also be self-inflicted. And the dogs are a strong theme in his life. ;) @raggedyblue​ mentioned ‘Reichenbach vibes’ here (X), and I can only agree. :)

@ebaeschnbliah​ @gosherlocked​ @sherlockshadow​ @shylockgnomes

Just a Taste-Homecoming

Part Ten of Just a Taste (Final Chapter)  ❤

Vampire!Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: child abuse, police stations/police officers, kidnapping mentioned, cult mentioned, Soft Billy, Billy gets some well deserved love, my heart hurts bc I’ve loved creating this series 

original gif made by @daebom

Y/n woke up to a steady, constant beep filling her ears. The room was aggressively bright, her wincing in pain. Her eyes finally fluttered awake, taking the room in. She heard soft voices, trying to shift and fix where her clothes had balled up under her back. “Y/n? Y/n can you hear me sweetie?” She nodded, closing her eyes again. Her stomach muscles hurt. There was also a blossoming pain on her neck and arm. “Hurts.” 

“Okay sweetie, let’s get you a little medicine. But first, can you tell me what year it is?”

“1985.”

“Who’s the president?” She furrowed her brows to think. “Fuckin’ Reagan.” She slurred a little, hearing a little laugh to her right. “Can you tell me where you are?” 

“Hospital.” 

“What state?”

“California. Yeah. Cali.” She smiled a little, tilting her head back. “Can I have some water?” 

“Sure. I’ll be back in an hour to check on you okay? I’ll let your visitors know you’re awake.” 

“Okay.” 

She focused on the tv, it playing that new show The Golden Girls. She laughed as it played, hearing the door open. An older man came in...she racked her brain. Billy’s grandpa! Then Billy. Billy was wearing a hoodie, dark circles under his eyes. He looked smaller than normal. Billy sat next to her in a chair, smiling. “Hey Y/n.” 

“Hi.” The nurse came in and handed her a water. “How you feel?”

She shrugged. “Sore.” He nodded. “I think I got all the blood out of your clothes but I think I may have shrunk your shorts.” His grandpa piped up. She giggled. She put reached over with one hand and poked Billy’s mouth. “Ow.” Billy whined. “Show me.” She said, Billy smiling. Normal teeth. “How do you feel?”

“Alive. I called your mom and told her you got in an accident. I kept it vague. She says she loves you and will come out if you have to be in the hospital longer than a week.” 

“Okay.” Y/n spent the rest of the day watching tv and floating in and out of sleep. Dinner was brought to her, Y/n asking if it was possible for Billy to get on the bed with her. The nurse helped her make room, Billy coming back from the cafeteria with a chicken sandwich and fries, as well as a soda. She was given a bedside table, happy to see Billy come through the door. Billy climbed into bed carefully, Y/n laying her head on his shoulder, nibbling on her food. Billy scarfed down his sandwich, slowing down a little on the fries. A nurse came in as she started eating a cookie with some oreo dip thing, Billy nudging her leg with his sock-covered foot. She smiled, Billy dropping a fry down his sweatshirt. “Shit.” Y/n giggled, the nurse checking her vitals. “Sweetheart, let’s check those stitches okay?” Billy got out of the bed, the nurse lifting her gown, Y/n getting to see the stitches on her stomach for the first time. “Loverboy told someone you were attacked by a shark. I’m assuming sharks don’t carry around knives, right.” That made her laugh. “We got mugged. They ganged up on us and I think he’s embarrassed and upset that I got hurt.” The nurse. “I was panicking, okay. Shark attack gets an EMT to the boardwalk faster than stabbing does.” 

“Probably a smart move.” The nurse commented, checking her arm and neck. “Everything looks good. How’s your stomach feeling? Nauseous, hungry, painful?”

“Hungry. A little nauseous. I’m hurting a little but its like on the surface.” She said, the nurse nodding. “I think we’ll be able to let you out by Saturday.” Four more days in the hospital. “Your mother is taking care of things. I believe she mentioned a plane ticket, but you need to not be on a plane until 14 days after you bleed internally. I recommend just driving home.” 

“Okay.” She nodded. Billy and his grandfather kept her company in the hospital until she was let out of the hospital, Mina ecstatic to see her back in the house. Mina also wouldn’t leave Billy alone, attempting to sit in his lap whenever there was an opening. 

Y/n sat in the car, watching Billy cry as he said goodbye to his grandfather, hugging him tight. He waved goodbye to the two teenagers, taking Mina back inside and making a call to the Hawkins Police Department. It took longer to get back this time, Billy demanding to drive the entire way, experiencing exhaustion for the first time in years. Y/n cuddled up with Billy in the motel beds, Billy happy to sleep with her in his arms. They got back to Hawkins two weeks after fleeing Hopper and the kids. Billy asked if they could stop into a convenience store, buying chocolate. He hadn’t had any in a long time. “You Hargrove’s kid?” The man behind the counter asked as he rang him up. He nodded. “You kidnap that poor girl?”

“No.” Billy’s confusion was written on his face. He nodded again. “I’m sorry about your father, son. It’s a real shame when men are such cowards.” He was very confused. He thanked him, but he had so many questions. He took Y/n home, her making him walk her to the door (she wasn’t technically supposed to be lifting anything heavier than five pounds). She wrapped her arms around his neck on the doorstep, kissing him. And kissing him. And kissing him. Billy finally pushes her off, both giggling. “Be careful with this, okay?” She nodded, finally letting him go home. Billy takes his time, praying that Neil won’t be there when he gets back. He just started feeling pain again. He didn’t want to get used to it as the norm immediately. He gets there and sees Neil’s car in the driveway, holding his breath as he takes his bag inside. Max is on the couch, Susan in the kitchen. “Billy?” Max got up, Billy closing the door. She ran up to him and threw her arms around his middle. “Hey.” 

“I thought Hopper was gonna hunt you down. I was really scared. Are you still, you know?” She whispered, looking up at him without taking her arms off of him. Billy hugged her back. “Nope.” He smiled, showing her his teeth. Susan walks over and hugs him, Billy not taking his arms off Max. Billy waits until after dinner is over to ask about Neil.  Susan gives him a pinched look and leaves the kids in the kitchen, going to the back of the house. “Neil’s in jail.” Max explains. “What?” 

“The police showed up saying they got an anonymous tip about him. They took him in for questioning. I told them about the yelling.” Billy nodded. “I think they said if you ever came back into town they wanted you to come to the station.” He nodded again, not really wanting to. The phone rang, Max going to get it. “Billy, it’s for you.” It was Hopper. “Hey kid.” 

“Hi.” 

“You back in town for awhile?”

“Yeah.”

“I need you to come to the station tonight.” Billy dragged himself there, Hopper apologizing and telling him they had some questions for him. And that there was a court date. Billy admitted some things about Neil, which was pretty damning (Hopper’s words). He slept easy that night for the first time in Hawkins, trying to push any thoughts about police and courts out of his mind. 

The next day, Billy and Y/n go to what used to be Benny’s Diner and getting ice cream. They hear whispers from other patrons about why they were gone for so long. Their favorites included her being pregnant, them following a cult leader into a different state, and them both being kidnapped (which also seemed to be a town favorite based on the state they both came back in). They also heard talk of Neil Hargrove, the two glad it was in disgust and not pity for the man whose son ran away. They attempt to laugh it off, Y/n squeezing his hand tighter when Billy starts looking uncomfortable. “Wanna get out of here?” They hung out at her house, Billy staying for dinner. Billy held her hand under the table. The couple eventually got around to explaining what happened to Steve and the party, the kids thinking Y/n was the most badass person they know (which is a well deserved title). Y/n explained to her mom about what happened (she also knew about the upside down), her mother very sympathetic to the curly headed blond boy that basically lived at her house when there wasn’t school.  

Weeks passed and the excitement of having two teenagers run away and then come back died down, Billy prepping for his father’s trial. Neil was put in jail for 15 years for child abuse, Billy calling his grandpa that night to tell him the news. 

Billy and Y/n fell into the pattern of being an exclusive couple, their favorite date becoming getting milkshakes and then having a movie marathon. “Hey Billy, do you think you’re still gonna go live with your grandpa even though Neil is away?” She asked him one night, about to fall asleep, laying on top of him. “I don’t know. I’m trying to get into a college near his house. Right now I actually have some people I like here.”

“Really?” She asked, pushing her face up against his neck. “Hm, maybe. Our waitress at the diner is definitely number one.” She gaped at him, sitting up. “I’m kidding! Babe-!” She hit him with a pillow. “Stop!” He pleaded, grabbing it from her. “Uh oh.”

“Uh oh is right.” He hit her back, her laughing as she rolled onto the floor. Billy was smiling, Y/n grabbing another pillow and getting up, about to smack him in the head with it when the doorbell rang. Billy got up and opened the door. “Are you Billy Hargrove?” 

Billy let the man in, the three sitting around the table. “So what do you want from us, Mr. Bauman?”

“I heard you two killed a nest of vampires in Santa Cruz.” They looked at each other before Billy nodded. “Well, I got wind of a little trouble in Chicago that sounds like it could be caused by vampires.” 

“So what do you want from us?” Y/n asked, taking the paper he had placed on the paper. “We were hoping you might be able to take care of it.”

“We?”

“The US Government. What do you say kids?” He asked, looking between the couple. Billy reached for Y/n’s hand, lacing his fingers through hers as they thought. “Give us a second?” Murray Bauman walked through the house, poking around at decor. “Mr. Bauman?” Billy gave Y/n one last look to reconfirm the decision. “You know where to get holy water around here?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Thank you to everyone who has read and interacted with this series. I’m quite proud of how this turned out. I loved this idea and I’m glad you all did too ❤❤

@bluegirlusa1 @excellentbecca @xxphoenixflyerxx  @thats-so-rhyan

@harrysstyleseyes  @canny1902  @seasiren96  @helena-way07 

@seasiren96 @shadow-hunters-lover  @iluvmesomemarvelndc

@marvelismylifffe @billyhargrovescigarette @speedmetalqueen 

@ flqyed  

Monsta X - REACTION

cutekitty145 requested: “How would Monsta X and BTS react to their s/o coming to their dorm and telling them that some guy was following her and tried to grab her but she got away by fighting back as she showed them the bruised hand print on their arm. Sorry is if it's a bit wordy. But I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head. I love you blog and keep up the good work! 💞💞 “

You literally are the best human being ever. You make my account worth writing on. Even if I take lengthy breaks. I always come back to see you requesting amazing topics. Ilysm!!! 💜💜💜🥺🥺

*also I'm adding wonho still bc mx is ot7 in my heart also it's kinda lengthy bc it's a lot happening and I want to make sure things make sense.*

...........................

Wonho:

He heard the door unlock and glanced up from over the couch to see your flushed and tear stained face. He immediately jumped up and ran over to you. "What happened? Why are you crying?!" He asked. "Some.... Some guy was following me when I left the store, he tried to grab me when I started to walk faster." Wonho was pissed. His blood was boiling at the thought of some creep grabbing and following you. "Where is he?! Why didn’t you call me??" He asked taking your bag out of your hand and leading you to the couch. "Someone saw and called the cops. I shoved him off but he was gripping really tight.." you lifted your sleeve to show him the fresh red finger prints on your forearm. "Did the cops show up? I'm so sorry you had to deal with this... Why didn't you call me?" He was worried for your well-being now and just was wondering why you didn't call him at all. "I tried but my phone died, but yes the cops came and he's apparently done this before and they were finally able to book him on other counts. Another copy gave me a ride home." You explained. His expression softened as you closed your eyes. "I'm so sorry baby... Come here.." he slid you closer to him and held you until you fell asleep from the comfort is his heart beat.

I.M

He was actually on his way to meet you at this Cafe you suggested during your lunch break. He was typing away on his phone when he heard a familiar voice. But it was a sound he's never heard before, something out of a nightmare. His head shot in the direction of the voice and he took off running down the street. When he arrived it was about a block from the cafe and he saw you. Hella shaken up. Gripping your wrist and crying. He bolted to you. You heard the footsteps and looked his way. You ran to him the rest of the way. "What the hell happened??? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Are you hurt??" A million questions flew from his mouth looking over you're entire body and taking your hurt hand in his inspecting it. "Some guy was following me and I didn't think anything of it because there's shops all down this area but then..." You stopped choking a sob. "Then what y/n?" He asked standing up straight jaw clenched waiting to hear what some man tried to do to you. "He- he grabbed my wrist and tried to drag me down that way.. I was able to push him off but it hurts so much that I couldn't do anything but feel the pain in my wrist... I'm so fucking scared.." you explained looking around then at I.M. He pulled you extremely close to his chest and held you. "What did he look like?" He asked in a softer tone to not make you feel worse. "I didn't get a look at his face, he was wearing a mask and was dressed in a black hoodie and blue jeans... I just want to go home..." You pleaded. He nodded but he still made a call to the police station and you had to give a statement just so if it happens again they can be on alert.

Originally posted by m0n-g

Shownu:

He was actually with you when it happened. You two where out shopping for a birthday gift for one of your mutual friends. He had wondered off to another part of the store without you. He heard a commotion coming from the section you where in. He jogged over and when he saw you punch this guy square in the face he was shook. He snapped out of it when the guy went to hit you back and tackled him. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He asked as he had the guy pinned to the floor. "What the hell is going on over here?!" A store clerk asked when he saw your boyfriend pinning another guy on the ground, you crying and holding your arm and hand. "This guy just grabbed me and tried to drag me outta here.. I hit him.. I didn't know what else to do. He tried to hi-hit me back, but my boyfriend got to him first... Call the cops!" You said quickly nearly stumbling over your words as you cried. The cops arrived shortly and the guy was taken away in cuffs. A paramedic was looking over your hand and wrist. You broke your pinky and ring fingers and you had some finger print bruises on your wrist. Shownu was watching as they wrapped your hand. "Is there a way you can wrap til I can't see the bruises?" You asked. Not wanting to see them until they were gone. The paramedic nodded understanding why you wanted that without asking. "Let's go home.. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you who sticking up for yourself like that.." shownu said as he helped you climb into the car. You kissed him when he got into the drivers seat. "Thank you for taking him down like that. I'll never forget it." You said with a small smile as you took his hand in yours.

Jooheon:

He jumped when you slammed the door of his studio. He looked at you all flustered and Shakey. “What’s wrong?” he asked turning his chair towards you. “I- some guy tried to literally kid nap me!” you said in a loud tone. “What?! Who?! Where?!” he asked jumping up from his seat and rushing to you. His face was turning red as he looked you over to see if you where hurt. He saw red fingerprints forming ion your forearm and wrist. “I don't know who it was, he took off when I screamed because it caught some peoples attention and they started to run towards us.” you explained tears forming in your eyes. “Okay, first things first, we need to inform the company and see if we can figure out who it was there has to be cameras where you were.” he said as he started to lead you out of his studio. “Wait, I don't want to just yet, If I talk about it right now ill just cry more and I cant cry in front of them.” you said looking at your feet as tears fell into the carpet of his studio. “Its okay love, ill be right there. Ill make sure you’re taken care of.” he took you into his arms as he felt your body relax you two made your way to the chairman’s office.

Hyungwon:

He’s the one that found you just sitting in the doorway of his apartment. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked seeing you. You looked up tears still coming from your eyes, cheeks and eyes red, and eyes super puffy. “Baby! What happened?!” he asked this time kneeling in front of you. “I was on my way here, to bring you some dinner since we’ve both been so busy I knew you’d be here and I got off early...” you said in a small voice. He nodded and looked at you to continue. “And when I was coming around the corner of the store some guys came out of nowhere and cornered me and tried to put me in a car but the shop owner saw and called the cops and some others where there held the guys down.” you talked fast trying to get it all out so you can stop thinking and talking about it. “And? did they come, are they in jail? are you hurt anywhere?!” he asked taking your hands in his and looking over your arms, he stopped when he saw hand print type bruises on your arm near your elbow. “yes, they came and I had to stay to give my report and it was confirmed by everyone there so they took them away... they said I might have to go to the station and give a full statement but theyd call me if I needed to. and no im not hurt just beyond happy to see you.” you said slowly standing up and hugging his torso. He hugged you back and closed his eyes as he sighed. “Okay, they have your number right?” you nodded. “Okay, then lets go inside ill order something for us, and we can watch a movie.” he said unlocking his door. Since you had just realized you lost the food in the altercation you nodded and went inside.

Minhyuk:

He was watching tv when he heard you come in, he looked over the couch to see you leaning against the door, face in your hands, jacket still on, purse just dangling by one strap because the strap is broken, your shoes all scuffed up. “Hey, what’ wrong?” he got up slowly not sure how to approach because he doesn't know if you’re mad, upset, or mad at him for something. He walked slowly over til he was right there in front of you. You sighed and threw yourself at him burring your face in his chest and let out a loud sob. He was terrified but he hugged you back tightly. “oh, shh its okay. I’m here..” he cooed completely unsure with what’s happening. Your phone started ringing and you snapped back and just stared at it. “Whos that?” he asked. “The police department.” you answered shakily. He was so confused by this point. You walked to the couch as you answered it. He followed. As you talked things started to click for him. Why you where crying and you looking super distraught. he took your free hand in his and you looked at him tears in your eyes again. He wiped them away before they fell. HE held you as you spoke to the officer. Once you got off the phone he just pulled your whole body onto his lap. “Oh baby I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I cant even imagine...” He trailed off this time stroking your hair soothingly. You soon fell asleep from pure emotional and mental exhaustion. You woke up to the smell of your favorite foods. He smiled at you and handed you a plate. “I’m not sure if you’re hungry but I made dinner, also you’re not to go anywhere alone for a while understood?” he said sternly but with a smile. you smiled and nodded.

Kihyun: he was talking to a friend when he saw you pull up to the company building in a company van. “What's up hot shot?” he asked laughing and kinda confused as to why you where in a company van. “Its a...a long story, can we talk?” you said glancing at the driver who nodded and reopened the door so you two could climb in. “What's going on?” he asked really consirned and cinfused. You explained what happened not even 20 minutes prior. You explained that his manager had called and asked for you to run an errand for him and seeing as this isn't anything out of the ordinary you accepted and he gave you a driver so itll be easier to go in and get out asap. He nodded. So when you had started to leave some girls came up to you and asked for a selfie and they where nice so you said yeah. You took one with each girl then said your goodbyes, as they opened the door to an apartment building connected to the store some guy pushed passed them and tried to take you. The driver saw as soon as he grabbed your body. He took the guy down and the girls called he cops. It was chaos. The girls where with you making sure nobody got pictures of you on your state. His jaw was on the floor. “Someone would just do that? In broad daylight?” He asked dumbfounded. You nodded. “yeah, im okay now I was able to catch my breath, but the chairman wants me to come up and tell him everything and he’s already talked to the police station and he said he plans on giving me a body guard for the time being.” you added. He nodded. “Okay lets get you up there and get the ball rolling, I wish I could be with you all the damn time, maybe since we are taking a break ill see if I can spend more time at home instead of here during that time, I don't want you alone ever.” He said climbing out of the van. He helped you out. He kissed your forehead and took your hand as he led you to the entrance

( I DONT OWN THESE BEAUTIFUL GIFS ALL CREDIT TO OWNERS )

A Totally Objective and Unemotional Recap of Teen Wolf Episode 6x12: Raw Talent

@wellsjahasghost hasn’t gotten a chance to watch the episode yet, so I told her I’d write her a recap, and....... yeah, this is about as far from objective as it gets.

friends, i really hated this episode, and this recap is almost entirely negative, so if you really liked the episode, you probably want to skip this post lol. if you're also bitter and want to enjoy 2.5k of someone else ranting, please read on!

The real title of this text post: 

Anya Discusses Plot Holes, #recycledplotlines, and Casual Racism in Episode 6x12

*ahem* 

The show begins. The0 R@eken, sleeping in his car because he is homeless and friendless and irredeemable, is awoken multiple times, in multiple locations and at multiple times of day, by police officers rapping on his window and telling him to get up and leave. It takes me three minutes to figure out that it's him for sure because he's grown out his hair a bit to look more Boyish, Unkempt, and Vulnerable and I can no longer tell white boys on Teen Wolf apart. By the time I've reached 95% certainty that it is, in fact, the white boy who literally killed Scott and is still stanned by tw fans everywhere, he's waking up in the middle of the night to a spider crawling on his hand. He watches it, fascinated and unafraid, probably because he's like "yo this thing looks as evil as I am lolol." Then the spider burrows under his skin.

Cue The0 breaking into Deaton's vet office to stab the spider crawling around in his back with a scalpel and pull it out of him. Cue me gagging. Then the spider disappears in a puff of black smoke/gunpowder dust bc like... why not.

The police montage continues. And continues. I'm bored. Then - gasp! - the next police are nOt In fAcT CoPs bUt mEN wItH gUnS wHo wAnT To kiLL thE0. They shoot into his car repeatedly, and the scene ends.

(This would be a good cliffhanger if tw trailers didn't already show him appearing in future episodes smh.)

I refuse to watch the episode again, so I'm just going to say that I'm pretty sure the mcmartate scene is next. I'm not going to recap it fully because it was actually pretty good and this recap is not about Accuracy, it's about Salt. In short, the Scott laser scene happens but it turns out that the lasers were actually police flashlight beams (why were they in the woods?!?! who the heck knows. oh wait p@rrish exists, i forgot. maybe he told them about getting beat up by a hellhound wearing matching boxer briefs) and he was hallucinating. he's panicked enough to wolf out before he realizes it's a hallucination and the entire police department sees his eyes glowing red. great great great my son is hallucinating yET AGAIN, i really needed him to suffer more. also he pockets the Argent bullet shell case and mcmartate decides to talk to Chris Argent before they involve Papa Stilinski.

Mcmartate is a Good group. "Maybe this episode won't be so bad," I think.

*sighs*

idk what order the next scenes happen in, so i'm just going to tackle each subplot separately lol.

2.0:

Mason and Liam are chatting in the boys' locker room before lacrosse practice about the supernatural evil threatening Beacon Hills, surrounded by tons of freshmen who could easily overhear them. Liam's giving an extra practice to the freshmen so they have a chance of making first line, even though Mason thinks this is foolish. Liam explains that Brett is helping him, which makes no sense, but I don't mind because this sequence happens:

M: Brett? Incredibly... HOT Brett, with the 8-pack abs?

L (sounding mildly disgruntled... iS SOMEONE JEALOUS R U SURE UR STRAIGHT KIDDO): Pretty sure it's just Brett.

M: He has an 8-PACK. Do y- do you know how hard it is for the human body to have an 8-pack??? *music swells dramatically and then cuts off* ...God.

Also, at the end, Liam tosses Mason over his shoulder and carries him out of the locker room because he was accidentally discouraging the freshmen.

This is the best scene in the episode.

Next, both Liam and Corey failing to do a decent job at playing lacrosse. This is ostensibly an extra practice for the freshmen, and yet Brett, Liam, and Corey are the only ones playing. Brett outclasses them both in looks, swagger, and skill. Liam has no control as usual and Brett tells him to get it together. Audience reaction: Writers are recycling Liam's s4 plotline bc they ran out of ideas for his character; Brett is so clearly superior to Corey that we don't understand why Mason and Corey didn't break up during the hiatus so Brason could happen. Also, guidance counselor watches Brett score on Corey and hears Corey reply, "Wait, I'm not actually invisible right now, am I?" Nice subtlety, Corey.

Liam is pissed bc #recycledplotlines and punches out a locker. Somehow stays there all day because by the time Mason and Corey go to find him, it's after dark??? And since it's summer, it must be like 9:30??? "We need to study for a history test" hOW IS THE SCHOOL STILL OPEN THIS LATE i will never understand.

Oh yeah I forgot, while Liam was still working through his anger issues on the lacrosse field, a bunch of spiders crawl into a freshman boy's helmet in the locker room, and when he puts it on, they invade his body and then start crawling out of his mouth. So when Mason and Corey go to find Liam, they notice a smeared blood trail on the locker room floor and follow it to the showers, where there is an..... unidentifiable bloody mass on the floor. I am disturbed.

Brett:

After obliterating Liam and Corey, it is somehow magically nighttime and he's heading towards his car when the guidance counselor shows up, holding a lacrosse ball that rolled off the field. She compliments his abnormal skill level and tosses him the ball.... which turns out to be covered in wolfsbane. She claims it's "nothing personal,” but no one deserves that much power, and then tries to kill him. I think she stabs him??? I forget the details of their fight. Anyway, he manages to escape.

Scott and Malia:

They go looking for Chris at his... house? bunker? who knows. He has crates full of guns, surprising no one. They have #wittybanter and #chemistry, surprising no one. (i’m sorry i’m sorry i just feel like sc@lia is forced i’m sorry) Scott tells Malia it's okay to break into Chris's computer to find his calendar, and she is turned on by his rule-bending. All of the passwords she guesses involve her capitalizing the first word and adding spaces, because that's how passwords work. Scott picks up a bow and has a Revelation, immediately going to Chris's computer to type in ALLISON as the password. It's the second #recycledplotine of the night. Not to mention that as much as Chris loves his daughter, he is much too practical to have such an easily hackable password.

Questionable computer security aside, they show up in the middle of one of Chris's gun deals right after his fake military buyers pull out their guns, realizing that Chris knows they're fake military and is trying to find out who their boss is. Chris is annoyed with them for intervening and claims that he had an inside man that they just took out while trying to help him, which is yet another plot hole bc Chris shouldn't need to ask about bosses if he has an inside man. In the following chaos-ridden action scene, Scott drops the Argent shell casing. Chris says it's okay and they'll just find the actual bullet in the woods.

Best line of the episode: After Scott and Malia ask if the shell casing belongs to him, Chris says, "I haven't stamped a bullet since Allison died." Our hearts all break a little.

Anyway, despite their plans to go to the woods TOGETHER, Chris is mysteriously nowhere in sight so Scott and Malia can have ~time alone~. Malia shows concern for Scott's well-being. They smile at each other, and thanks to compulsive heterosexuality, this clearly means they've just caught feelings. I'm definitely not still bitter that the writers didn't bring back Kira and give Malia a girlfriend instead.

(in all honesty, however, i can admit that this scene was objectively cute, and it was great character development that already happened in s5 but again #recycledplotlines to see Malia actively caring about other people. I’m really happy for sc@lia shippers because I know you were all really excited about that scene.)

Chris comes back. They find a bullet in a tree thanks to its infared heat signature or smthg (idk i'm spaced out at this point). It's a silver bullet, meaning that the guidance counselor is just a wannabe Hunter, not the Genuine Article.

Lydia and Toast:

At the sheriff's station, Lydia??? hears some noise in her premonitions and decides to tell Toast and not her bf's dad for??? some completely valid reason i'm sure??? tbh i have no idea what the premise of this scene is, but Lydia realizes that the noise she keeps hearing is the key card reader from Eichen House. Apparently that means something bad is happening there so she tells Toast that they need to go check it out. Toast tells her that there's no way he's "letting her" go back there - because clearly he owns her and she can't make decisions for herself - and decides to go alone instead, because once again, that clearly makes so much more sense than telling the Sheriff. The whole scene is written to make it sound like Toast is the only one who cares about Lydia's well-being - because it's definitely not like she has a pack full of friends who care about her and a boyfriend who would do anything for her - and therefore is in charge of protecting her in a creepily possessive way. Aka, tw writers are still pandering to M@rrish fans even after Stydia is canon, and I don't know why I'm surprised.

So Toast goes to Eichen, meets Creepy Doctor who accidentally released Other Hellhound last week, and tells him to let him into the closed ward after hearing a woman begging for help. Doctor refuses. Toast shows him his glowing eyes as an... intimidation tactic??? Doctor complies but locks the door behind Toast after he enters.

Toast finds the woman in a communal-shower-type room (which???? okay), lying on the floor with an open electric cable sparking her body every few seconds, surrounded by a bunch of other apparently dead supernatural creatures. When Doctor arrives and Toast tells him to help, plot twist! Doctor is the one who put them there. (Oh, look, electricity........ I wonder who would be helpful....... in this........ situation........)

Doctor gets Toast locked up in room where Other Hellhound used to reside and turns down the temperature, telling Toast that he'll freeze him from the inside out or smthg.

Meanwhile, Lydia's just been hanging out at the sheriff station and waiting for Toast instead of registering for MIT because according to a reminder on her phone, this is the ~last day~ for her to do so and Lydia "IQ of 170" Martin OBVIOUSLY would have put off registration until the last minute. OF COURSE. She ignores the notification bc apparently college isn't important and steals one of the deputies' walkie talkies after she hears strange noises emitting from it. Her absurd attempts to sneak casually would have made Stiles Stilinski proud af.

However, her next move would NOT have made Stiles Stilinski proud af, as she hears the Doctor threatening Toast and immediately decides to go after him alone instead of

1) calling Scott so that Scott and Malia can come with her or

2) taking the Sheriff, seeing as he is her BOYFRIEND'S DAD and also CONVENIENTLY LOCATED IN THE SAME BUILDING AS HER AT THAT MOMENT.

So. Naturally. She goes to Eichen alone, and every sound she hears, every sight she sees, is immensely triggering. For the first time, Teen Wolf actually somewhat addresses the fact that Lydia has PTSD after everything she's been through. This is a good thing. I would be happy with this development if, again, Lydia wasn't alone throughout the entire experience. Clearly, Teen Wolf writers have decided that Strong Female Characters must always face their fears alone if they want to remain Strong Female Characters. Clearly, having her friends there to ground her would have taken away from her character development. Clearly, it wouldn't have been amazing to see Lydia accept her friends' help when s1 Lydia Martin never would have shown weakness around others. Clearly, having a support network when you've faced immense trauma isn't important at all. CLEARLY.

(Clearly I didn't have to pause my TV at this point because I was so horrified and angry that the TW writers placed her in a situation where she was surrounded by a myriad of triggers, on the verge of a panic attack, and completely alone.)

Anyway, Lydia reaches a turning point where she is somehow able to push aside all of those horrible memories and find Toast, who's been slowly freezing to death while watching Doctor hold a gun with shaking hands. Doctor's been explaining that he hates guns and has always been opposed to violence, but his fear of supernatural creatures has led him to believe that eradicating them all is the only way to ensure normal humans' safety.

Lydia runs into the cell just as Doctor raises the gun to shoot Toast in the head. She screams, knocking Doctor back and killing him. GREAT. LET'S ADD ANOTHER TRAUMATIC EICHEN MEMORY TO THE PILE. LYDIA DEFINITELY NEEDED TO KILL SOMEONE ELSE. THAT WOULDN'T BE EMOTIONALLY SCARRING AT ALL. OF COURSE STILES IS ENTITLED TO AN ENTIRE SEASON OF ANGST AFTER KILLING DONOVAN IN SELF-DEFENSE, BUT LYDIA KILLING MULTIPLE PEOPLE WOULDN'T HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL RAMIFICATIONS. OF COURSE.

End scenes:

2.0: Suddenly realizing that freshman boy (I think his name is Aaron) is missing, they go running around the school looking for him and eventually find him in a classroom, magically unharmed. "What are you doing here?" they ask. "Just remembered we have a history test," he replies. I thought this boy was a freshman. smh.

McMarTate: Clearly not scarred from her experiences at all, Lydia rejoins Malia and Scott to discuss their discoveries. Cue "what is everyone afraid of?"/"us" scene combined with a montage of everyone looking away from Liam in slow motion at school the next day, apparently afraid of him. Which is definitely because they magically know he's a werewolf, and not because they don't want to catch the disease that gave him his awful haircut.

Brett: Brett pounces on the guidance counselor, who's looking for him in the woods, and they start fighting. It looks like he's going to win, but then he gets shot in the chest with an arrow and runs off.

The arrow was shot by Gerard.

He tells wannabe hunter/guidance counselor that she has potential.

Huzzah, what a great episode.

Bonus casual racism: Now that Kira's gone, wannabe hunter/guidance counselor (who still doesn't have a name...... oh hey, look, mORE CASUAL RACISM) is the only woman of color on the show... and she's a Black antagonist. This is clearly Not Problematic At All.

Of course, thanks to theories that will be discussed in this week's episode of stydiacast, it's possible that this casting decision is entirely legitimate.

HOWEVER, one other poc was introduced in this episode...... and Aaron, poor young freshman lacrosse player, is now possibly being possessed by spiders and will likely also be a Black antagonist, albeit one with no control over his actions.

Oh, hey, doesn't..... that...... sound..... familiar? It's.... almost like..... another problematic #recycledplotline. *looks at s5 Mason Hewitt*

Thanks, Teen Wolf.

Five days of Summer (Derek Hale x Reader)

Hey guys! So as I'm new in all this writing fanfic thing, I'll just probably write about Derek Hale because he is definately my major crush around the world (followed closely by Nico di Angelo, Dylan O'Brien (Stiles), and Spencer Reid (bc why not?)). This one is based on Joe Brook's song "Five days of summer" and if you haven't heard that cheesy guy's music, you're missing out ;)

Thanks for reading!

Song: https://youtu.be/XtpN_YHdbsk

Warnings: Teenage Derek!

She leaves just silence in her path A short goodbye, some photographs I took them with me on the plane from Appledoore into LA

She was... inconsistent. At least, that was all he could be sure when acknowledging you first time in senior year. Of course, he hadn't known you yet, but he had heard things. Things like being the silent kid on the corner, always drawing and trying to look invisible. Things like being the coolest when being talked to, but never when being approached to. And too many others that called his attention about you, that he couldn't help but always stare.

You'd ignore his stares the first few times, but then, when it became routine, you couldn't help stare back at him when he wasn't looking. And man, he was the definition of handsome. At least it seemed like that to you.

The first time you talked was when you abstently collided with his back on your way out of the classroom, you gave him a shy apology and he smiled dissmissing it.

You then froze, if you'd known his smile was going to capture you, then you would've avoided looking, but you didn't and you deliberately stared. Which only seemed to amused him.

"You okay?" He asked, the grin on his face still taunting you.

"Uh..." it seemed like you forgot how to speak. "No? I mean, yes, yes I'm fine" you muttered, now ashamed of your own clumsiness.

He laughed, secretly loving your blushed cheeks. "Want to go grab something to eat?" He asked, surprised by his own words.

You shrugged, "uh,-okay. Where do we go to?"

"There's a burrito truck here somewhere," he told you, his green eyes colliding with yours. You smiled shyly as you head out of the classroom, he following right behind.

"So, you're new here?" He asked, as he had been in Beacon Hills his whole life and hadn't acknowledge you until a  month back.

You shooked your head. "I moved here a year ago," you told him. He looked surprised. "Don't worry, it's not like I'm too loud to be noticed," you giggled as he blushed.

"Also not one to stay in one place for too long," you then said, fulfilling the silence that had built. He stopped cold with a frown, you turned around and saw his expression, frowning too.

"Why?" He asked.

You shrugged. "I don't know, maybe because my mother seems to be in a constant movement I need to follow," he looked curious.

"What about your father?" He asked, and your heart seemed to clunch a little as you said "he died about a year ago."

He muttered a hushed "I'm sorry" and then you both continued walking toward the foodtruck.

Then, when you already had your food and had sit on a green side, you started to talk. He could easily make you laugh, and his enchanting smile and eyes could easily make you blush. You even took a few selfies as you ate, and talked about all you liked and disliked about some movies, dishes, and places around.

You told him about your many trips around the world, how you'd fallen for Italian's food ever since you were a kid, and how you wish you could go back to France someday with someone you loved. You laid flat on the grass, as night approached, and you remember, that after saying your goodbyes, you couldn't stop thinking about misterious Derek Hale.

This broken heart it doesn't hurt Still wear these memories on my shirt From five days of summer in the rain Now I'm falling towards the ground, it's coming at me way too fast But you don't learn to fly, if you're not prepared to crash

After that you became close, things were starting to grow into something more than a frienship, but less than a relationship.

And you loved it.

Soon he was your rock, your comfort zone. He was all you trusted and all you cared for. Of course, he wasn't completely the center of it all, but he sure was now a big part of your life.

Oh man, soon you were realizing you were falling hard for him. You tried not to be very obvious about it, but when you saw him with Kate Argent, things started to explode on your face.

You then tried to distance yourself, as now you were doubting whether he saw you the same way you saw him. It started to hurt, it seemed like you'd crashed onto the floor from the cloud you climed yourself up to.

He noticed, though. As you distanced yourself from him, he noticed you weren't the same now. It's not like he didn't feel anything towards you, he actually tried to bury those feelings as he didn't want to risk it. He tried to call you back, he tried to keep being there, but soon you were just the one who passed by him in the hallway, as he kissed Kate. Soon you were just the quick hello and goodbye around.

And he hated it.

She's the sunlight in my eyes She's a bittersweet goodbye And I just can't tell you why I'd let her break my heart again

Friday nights now sucked. They used to be partying and hanging around and just being somewhere with Derek. Now? Now they just meant driving around the town bored to your core.

And then you saw something you wasn't meant to. Your eyes watered as you saw Derek's house on fire. You parked the car and run into the woods. You called the police station as you heard the muffled screams of the Hale family. And then you understood that behind it all, there was something really wrong.

The screams became howls, the eyes you saw, as you used the extinguisher to stop the fire (which honestly was doing very little), were far worse than anything. And then you turned to see your Derek Hale converted into something you never thought he'd be.

A werewolf.

You then ran back your home, running away from him. From the sudden feeling that he lied to you all those months, the feeling of betrayal. You trusted him your secrets, you ideals, your craziness, and he couldn't tell you who he escencially was.

And that pissed you off. Worst part? He saw you run away from him, shattering his heart as he now had lost absolutely everything he knew.

Cause when it rains it's sure to poor in Appledoore We took the waves, She showed me life, She showed me love, I had it all And all the time she's not around I want her more She's so beautiful

The memories flooded Derek's mind as he now watched his burned house. His anger towards Kate as he managed to take everything away from him. His sadness surrounding him as he thought of you.

He remembered that one weekend on which you went to the beach and trespassed the friendship line as you kissed him. He remembered, holding you in his arms while swimming, the way his hands felt on your hips, yours on his neck, the giggles, the fun, the way she just laid on the towel when it became night, and how she taught him all her thoughts of life. How he suddenly knew he was in too deep, to realized how you'd shown him the definition of love.

If only he had realized it then, and be sincere with you, then he would have have you in this awful moment with you. He heard your footsteps before you got close enough to him.

He looked at you, weakness and sadness spread all over his eyes. And although you were hurted, you knew more than anyone else, that he needed someone by his side in that moment. So you ran to his arms.

He held you tight as he cried his loss, you even cried with him as now his loss felt somehow yours. Even if he had never told you about his whole nature, you were sure he had his reasons. And being there in his arms, just reminded you that you would go through this and more with him if it meant having him.

Because in the last five days of the beggining of summer, it has felt as if you were in the rain.

A/N: Sorry if the ending sucked, I hope you guys like the story and please, if you have any note, or sugerence you are free to tell me. Thanks again for reading.

lucaya fic where maya goes missing and lucas is a mess

so this prompt is really old so im very sorry about that. this monster of a drabble is a gm triangle au, bc we all know the whole maya identity crises arc was handled terribly, so this is my attempt to fix it, it takes place a few hours after maya said “you want me to go home? i’ll go home.”

“Dude, you need to decide.”

“Look, I,” he hesitated. “I think I know who I choose. I just need to talk to them.”

The boys approached the Matthew’s front door, not the window, upon Zay’s insistence. Lucas was once again baffled by the fact that they kept their front door unlocked. They walked in to see Cory and Topanga … and Katy?

“Uh, hi,” Lucas said, rubbing the back of his neck. He really didn’t need all of the parents to be here for this. “I need to talk to the girls.”

“They’re in Riley’s room,” Katy said, raising an eyebrow.

As Lucas made his way up the stairs he could hear Cory sputtering.

“You just sent him to my daughter’s room!”

“Don’t worry sir, he’s in there all the time.”

Zay needed to learn how to keep his big mouth shut. Lucas shook his head and knocked on Riley’s door.

“Come in.”

Riley had changed into her pajamas and was sprawled out on her bed reading their English assignment. She lit up when she saw him.

“Lucas!”

“Hi,” he said, glancing around the room in confusion. “Is Maya in the bathroom?”

Riley’s face fell and she looked down at her nails. “No, we had a bit of a disagreement. She went home.”

“But, her mom is still in your kitchen.” Riley’s head popped up.

“She is?”

“Yeah, and she thought Maya was up here. How long ago did she leave?”

Riley shrugged. “A few hours ago I guess.”

Lucas’ heart skipped a beat. “No one’s heard from her for hours? And no one was concerned?”

He was texting Maya before he finished his sentence. Riley’s mouth opened and shut and then she texted her too. Lucas was halfway down the stairs before she had gotten off of her bed, his phone pressed to his ear.

“C’mon, pick up pick up pick up.”

The chatter at the table died down as they heard the pair coming down.

“What’s going on?” Katy asked. “Where’s Maya?”

Riley looked at her sheepishly as Lucas cursed and redialed Maya’s number.

“We don’t know.”

­­­­­­­­­­­­

“Lucas, dude you gotta calm down.”

“How can I calm down? Maya is missing. It’s been hours since anyone heard from her and her phone is going straight to voicemail and Riley said when she left she was upset and—”

“Lucas.” Farkle grabbed him by his shoulders. “Katy went to check their apartment and she’s calling Shawn and Kermit. Riley went with Cory to check all of Maya’s favorite places and Topanga is talking to the police. We’re gonna find her.”

Lucas ran a hand through his hair and paced around Riley’s room. He hadn’t sat down or even really breathed since they realized Maya was gone.

“But what if something happened to her? What if someone took her? Oh my—someone actually could have kidnapped her. What if we never see her again? What if I never see her and get to—”

He froze. Zay raised an eyebrow. “Never get to what?”

“Nothing,” he sighed. He covered his face with his hands. “I’m just worried about her.”

“I know man. We all are.” Zay stood and put a hand on Lucas’ shoulder comfortingly.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work. I’m getting him a Xanax.”

Zay pointed after Farkle. “That is a great idea. Try not to,” he motioned widely with his arms, “damage anything.”

Just like that Lucas was alone. He took a deep breath and dropped onto the edge of Riley’s bed. He shut his eyes to try and calm himself down, but all it did was bring up the image of Maya—her hair and her smile and the way her eyes shone when she called him Ranger Rick and—

“Huckleberry?”

Lucas’ head snapped up to see Maya kneeling, half inside the window. Her feet barely hit the ground before he had swept her up into a hug so tight that she had to turn her head to the side just to breathe.

Maya’s heart began to race as soon as he touched her—she hoped he couldn’t tell. She had taken off her jacket and he had taken off his button up and there was more skin-to-skin contact than she had ever experienced with him. It made her feel warm all over. She had never been this close to him, and the last time she was even near this close to him was—

Thinking of Texas would not do her any good right now.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Riley?”

“Looking for you,” he said, finally releasing her. She looked up at him, her mind fuzzy.

“Looking for me?”

“Maya, no one knew where you were. Your mom thought you were still here and Riley thought you were at home and you weren’t answering your phone and I—we were all worried about you.”

Maya felt her face flush and she looked away. “I turned my phone off. I didn’t really want to talk to anybody.” Then, almost imperceptibly, “To Riley.”

Lucas’ face softened. “Riley mentioned you guys had a disagreement. What happened? You guys never fight.”

She took a deep breath. “Today in art class Mr. Jackson said some things about my art, about me not having a voice or whatever. And it—it didn’t sit well with Riley I guess. We came back here and she started saying how I wasn’t me anymore because I was behaving and getting good grades and that kind of stuff, and then she told her parents and they brought my mom into it and,” she paused. She had grown quieter with every word she spoke. “They all agreed with her. They said I was … broken.”

“Maya—”

Maya waved a hand dismissively. “And then Riley got it in her head that not only was I not me anymore, but that I had turned into her. Because of our outfits and our hair and you.”

His face fell. Had he caused this? Had his inability to choose driven the girls apart? He tried to meet her eyes but she kept them directed at her hands as she picked at her nails.

“Well, I thought it was stupid and I was angry. So I left and I turned my phone off and I went back to school.”

“You were at school?” He asked incredulously. Of course she would have gone to the one place no one would ever expect to find her. She chuckled.

“Yeah. I knew that Mr. Jackson kept the art room open after hours and I wanted to see if Riley was right, if I had really lost myself. So I tried painting for a bit, and then Mr. Jackson came in. We talked and he said he had taken another look at my painting and that he loved it.”

“That’s great!” Maya made a face. “Not great?”

“Not really. He said it just had to be looked at from farther away and,” she took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “It was a purple cat. I painted a purple cat, Lucas. Riley’s right—I turned into her.”

Maya looked so small and so hurt and so defeated and it broke Lucas’ heart. He grabbed one of her hands and made sure she was looking at him.

“Maya, look at me. Riley was not right. You didn’t lose yourself and you definitely did not turn into her. First of all, it’s impossible to actually become someone else. Second of all, what was that lesson Mr. Matthews taught us, the one about the secret of life?”

“People change people,” she said softly. Lucas smiled.

“Right. People change people. You saw it with me, didn’t you? I used to be angry and violent, but meeting you guys changed that. You guys changed me for the better. You didn’t become Riley, you’ve just been influenced by her. You haven’t gotten detention in a while because you matured and you realized what was appropriate and what was crossing the line. You started getting good grades because we’re in high school and grades are important and because it feels good. Maya, we all saw how happy you were when you got that A in Spanish.”

There were tears in Maya’s eyes but she laughed.

“Just because you’ve changed doesn’t mean you’re not you. Everybody changes, especially when their teenagers. But you are still you. You still make fun of Mr. Matthews and you still make jokes in class and you still pretend to hate school. You still defend your friends no matter what and help them no matter what. You still talk to the homeless man in the subway station near your apartment and give him a dollar or leftovers whenever you can.”

The tears in her eyes began to fall and Lucas brought his other hand up to wipe them away, lingering on her cheek.

“You are still you because you are still sassy and funny and selfless and kind, and I know that because those are all only some of the things I like about you. You’re Maya, and Maya is amazing.”

Maya looked at him like he was the only other person in the world—in that moment, he was. They both knew that in the past few minutes something big had changed between the two of them.

“Do you feel a little better now?”

She nodded and smiled. “Yeah. Thank you.”

Lucas wouldn’t stop looking at her in a way that made her feel something and she knew if she didn’t do something to stop him he might do something she wasn’t ready for. She wiped at her eyes.

“Now we can figure out this stupid triangle thing.”

Lucas shook his head. “What is there to figure out?”

“What do you mean?” Maya asked. Had he seriously forgotten about the disaster that had been the past few months?

“Maya, do you really think, after all of that, that I’m not gonna choose you?”

Her eyes widened and she blinked owlishly. He laughed and tugged on her hand.

“Come on, let’s go let everyone know you’re ok.”

Riley backed away from the door quickly, hurrying into her bathroom and shutting the door. She was ok. Well, she would be, and when Lucas picked Maya, she would be ready.

Another one Yeah b ooo ooo o oo oo oo o oo o oo ooooiiiiis rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag LAST… [1] drink: bepis [2] phone call: my little buraza [3] text message: beef sushi [4] song you listened to: tag ur it [5] time you cried: honey have you seen the amount of angsty fics im reading rn Contrary to popular belief i do have a heart in there somewhere #edgyish HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: nah [7] been cheated on: nah [8] kissed someone and regretted it: [9] lost someone special: i lost my cat once but he was actually hiding under the car [10] been depressed: well thats a stupid question who isnt [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nah LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] gloomy blues [13] bright blues [14] bright cherry reds IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: nah [17] laughed until you cried: im p sure i just skipped laughing at one point [18] found out someone was talking about you? Yeboiiiiii [19] met someone who changed you: nah [20] found out who your true friends are: [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all but two ? I havent been on facebook in months [23] do you have any pets: i am the sole parent of 6 cats and a dog 🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐶 [24] do you want to change your name: i think about it often but nothing really suits me [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i wokeup at 2 am and had a mental breakdown and started crying A memorable day 🎂🎉 [26] what time did you wake up: 9:30 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: drawing then erasing it all bc it was rly shitty [28] name something you cannot wait for: idk man the new episode of twd i guess? [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like 13 minutes ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my motivation [31] what are you listening to right now: nothin rly [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes he was a real jock typa dude Apparently he had a crush on me bc when we were in primary i hung out w him alot [33] something that is getting on your nerves: brain fog [34] most visited website: dunno man [35] elementary: whats uh What's elementary for u americans Is it primary school [37] college: i took a business course and dropped out bc im a human failure altho it wasnt rly a 'college' i guess [38] hair colour: blue, green and aqua where the blue and green blended [39] long or short hair: short [40] do you have a crush on someone: i dont think so [41] what do you like about yourself? I look p cool and i can make some fucking weird facss hell yeah [42] piercings: no [43] blood type: a mystery ill never solve [44] nickname: [45] relationship status: single and probably 4 the best [46] zodiac sign: taurus [47] pronouns: whatever [48] fav tv show: twd twd twd twd twd and fresh prince of bel air [49] tattoos: :3c [50] right or left handed: right FIRST… [51] surgery: nah [52] piercing: i had my ears pierced when i was like 12 or something and they never healed properly [53] best friend: this one loser right 10/10 [54] sport: eating [55] vacation: i went to queensland once [56] pair of trainers: what Like Like a training bra? RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: e v e r y t h i n g [58] drinking: pepi [59] i’m about to: idk [60] listening to: m8 [61] waiting for: more food [62] want: more food [63] get married: no never gonna happen [64] career: :') pls hire me someone WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: uhhhhhhhh can u pls refrain from touching me m80 [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: leggo [68] older or younger: literally any way i answer this will creep me out [70] nice arms or nice stomach: nice nice [71] sensitive or loud: loud [72] hook up or relationship: uhhhhhh none [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? No [75] drank hard liquor? No [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? No [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date? M8 [79] broken someone’s heart? I remember in high school i was a "notorious heatbreaker" some guy spread that rumour and i was like??? He later ended up havin a crush on me and thwn told me i was a second choice [80] had your own heart broken? H AV E YOU R E AD SOMEOF THESE FICS 10/10 would break again [81] been arrested? Nobody believes my but my family and probably the police that were there but my dad got arrested and i was in the car w him holding one of my cats bc i was taking her to his place in the next town simne i was gonna stay there for a bit but he got pulled over and the policewoman asked me to go w her and i had to sit in the front seat w my cat as we drove to the station and that was wild I wish i took a photo or somethinf but i didmt have a phone back then :') [82] cried when someone died? No Unless they are fictional Then yes [83] fallen for a friend: DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? someones gotta [85] miracles? Uhhhh i guess i do [86] love at first sight? No [87] santa claus? Daddy [88] kiss on the first date? No [89] angels? Maybe OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: yes [91] eye colour: blue grey idk its very dull bc i have dead fish eyes [92] favourite movie: mulan or jurassic park