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#the fact that we're arguing over whether or not the finale was good is literally just proving isayama right ngl LOL
genericpuff · 6 months
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And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.
I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.
Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!
Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.
But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?
Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.
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The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.
The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.
Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.
I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.
As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.
But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.
And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.
If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.
It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".
So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.
Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.
But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.
Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.
We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.
Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?
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hello-nichya-here · 7 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/mostly-mundane-atla/710894569738387456/this-sounds-pretty-accurate-but-there-is-another what do u think ??
Okay, here are the bits I agree with:
1 - Some Azula fans are trying way too damn hard to make her a "Girlboss" that never did anything wrong. This is legitimatelly something I have seen happen A LOT lately and it gets on my nerves SO BAD.
2 - Some Azula fans focus a just a little bit too much on the sad aspects of her character/story, mainly her loneliness and how she felt nobody loved her (Note: I'm being generous here because most of the time people bring that to remind me people that, no, just because she was the favorite child of an ABUSIVE parent it doesn't mean that her life was easy, but I HAVE seen the "character sad, therefore character good" a few times).
The stuff that I don't agree with it AT ALL:
1 - "Cersei Lannister is a character that is like Azula." No. Just no. I know the fandom likes to joke about some simmilarities between both shows or borrow elements from that story to our fanfics, but Avatar is not Game Of Thrones, and Azula is not Cersei. Their personalities are not that simmilar, nor their family situations. Cersei is far more reckless, blood thirsty, downright vile ADULT WOMAN, she never got a single shred of respect from her father or ANYONE, and her main way of manipulating people is to go the Femme Fatale route and seduce them. Not at all like the pragmatic (but not sadistic), prodigious, awkward princess that can't flirt to save her life and that everyone respects/fears. Even the whole "When you play the Game Of Thrones, you win or you die" doesn't really apply because Cersei sacrificed nearly everything to remain the queen, while Azula literally brought Zuko back home, making him the heir to the throne again. They. Are. Not. The. Same. (I won't get into the other characters mentioned because I don't know who they are)
2 - "Azula isn't that well written" Unless we're considering the comics, in which EVERYONE was poorly written, I'm gonna die on the hill that this is just wrong. Azula was not redeemed, yes, and Bryke seems to not understand her, but the way her story and arc went in the show makes perfect logical sense to me - I just don't think that's where or how it should end. We can argue over whether her story is finished, not on if she's well-written character and a deliberately sympathetic villain that was also REALLY good at being a villain.
3 - "Azula doesn't have a lot going on" Bullshit. Regardless of redemption or not, Azula IS a complex character - yes, even if she is the villain of a Nickelodeon cartoon (WEIRD argument to claim she can't be that deep - this is literally a show about war, genocide and abusive families, which is why it stood out to people because NOBODY expected Nick to go there). We literally see her having a mental breakdown after years of abuse, indoctrination and VERY bad decisions that ruined every relationship she had finally caught up with her. I consider this a lot, just like I consider things like waking up one day and finding out EVERYONE you knew and loved has been gone for a hundred years or dealing with the fact your father is an abusive piece of shit that is totally okay with disfiguring and banishing you because you dared to speak out of turn. For fuck's sake, the existence of The Beach as an episode proves this claim wrong because the whole point of that episode is "These villainous Fire Nation teens have some hidden depths."
4 - "There are better stories with better/more complex characters" Again, weird argument. I think Beauty And The Beast is the best Disney movie and that Mulan is the best disney princess, but I still adore Snow White despite her story being VERY simple. And even though I like these stories that all have endings, I like the dark fantasy and heavy on politics story of Game Of Thrones - and even though I think the books are better, I still like the first half of the show despite the changes made to the story. This is not a "Either this or that" situation. You can think something isn't perfect or deep and STILL like it.
5 - "She's not a real person, she's a character on a show therefore her not needing to 'deserve' redemption is irrevelant because what matters is what benefits the story and Azula's redemption wouldn't do that" Really? You're pulling that shit? In a show like ATLA? The show that said "Everyone is capable of great good and great evil"? The show that repeatedly says "Friendship and kindness are going to save the day?"? The show that had one of the bad guys redeem himself by befriending the good guys and visiting his abusive father in jail and saying "Maybe this will make you have a change of heart?" THIS show would not benefit or stay consistent to it's themes if the villain that desperately craves love and validation learned that the way she tried to get these things was wrong and started being a better person who'd eventually be healthy, loved and accepted? Give me a break.
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natequarter · 2 months
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I was reading your posts about how badly most/all historical fiction and period dramas are when it comes to faithful portrayals and was wondering about your thoughts on Wolf Hall, whether you read it, watched it, or both. And also, are there examples that you feel do it well? Or are there examples where they get it wrong but you still enjoy them? (Can you tell I’ve been on a historical fiction kick lately?) I know that’s a lot of questions, so please don’t feel obligated to answer them.
oh boy, this is... complicated. i'll start off with wolf hall, because that will probably be easier: necessary disclaimer that i have not watched or read all of wolf hall, but i have read a significant chunk of the first book.
firstly, i actually enjoyed reading wolf hall a lot. there are a couple of bits that grated me when i read it (iirc it suggests that henry viii was to become archbishop of canterbury before the death of his brother, which is emphatically not true; nitpicky, i know, but it's one of the misleading "fun facts" you often hear about henry viii), but for the most part i found it rather refreshing. i have to praise hilary mantel's writing style, of course; it's beautiful prose, and a relieving change from first person present tense narratives, which are bad. (disclaimer: this is a personal opinion. i happen to think that 99% of all first person narratives are utter shit.) in terms of plot events, i think my favourite parts of wolf hall are cromwell with his wife and children, and him grieving his wife and children; the quiet reminders of their absence are heartbreaking.
now, onto the things i didn't like. i didn't love the tv show; nothing wrong with it, necessarily, it just didn't click with me - and it probably didn't help that when i watched it the screen light to room light balance was very off. and as for mantel herself... quite a few people have pointed out that her treatment of the women (notably anne boleyn and jane parker, her sister-in-law) in her series comes off as misogynistic, and i personally find the treatment of thomas more grating. essentially, she buys into a lot of the old narratives of jane parker being 'scheming' and betraying anne boleyn and her brother george; and her depiction of anne can similarly come off as that of a scheming woman and nothing more. there is an argument to be made that we're seeing this through cromwell's eyes, so naturally he's going to be biased against certain people - but mantel is the writer and she chose what she wrote. she seeks to balance out the classic depictions of cromwell as scheming and more as a literal saint, but it tips over into just making more look like a villain - things such as him choosing to educate his wife are warped into more being... evil? somehow? there's a double standard with cromwell vs the other characters: when cromwell is pious, it's devotion; when more is pious, it's fanaticism, and the same with cromwell vs the women in the books. finally, hilary mantel was transphobic. i'm not here to argue about that one.
granted, i don't think these things make wolf hall unforgivably bad, by any stretch of the imagination. i think it's a complex, flawed book and the same applies to the show. i think this youtube review summarises it well overall - and of course these things are always nuanced and complicated and so on and so forth.
there are shows which do historical fiction absolutely horribly, like the spanish princess. i have no interest in defending that, because, as far as i'm concerned, it's a mess not worth attacking; that's been done to death. i would also consider the vast majority of books by philippa gregory and alison weir to be a major waste of time. weir is also a non-fiction writer, and her non-fiction is exactly as bad, so for the love of good, please don't pick those up either. both authors like to draft in rape, magic (dear god, don't talk to me about the fucking magic), not-like-other-girls female characters, incest (???) and a bucket load of misogyny in lieu of actual plot. neither of them are good writers, either.
onto works which do an alright or complicated job. i think wolf hall belongs here - it does some things very well, some things... not so well. i'd also put becoming elizabeth here - as you've said, this is one where they get things wrong but i can still enjoy it. the show covers the reign of edward vi (1547-1553) and the teenage years of elizabeth i (about 13-19, so literally her teenage years). the good parts? it's a fantastic depiction of edward vi and mary - both are brilliantly cast and the acting from them is amazing. it incorporates black characters into authentic period roles, the clothing is really well done, and it shows most of the important parts of edward's reign. the bad parts? well, elizabeth is played by a woman in her late twenties. this lets the whole thing down, frankly. it's supposed to be a show about elizabeth, and yet edward or mary could easily replace her as protagonists - i don't think the actor playing her is great, personally. and then there's the fact that this show portrays the grooming of elizabeth by thomas seymour. the show actually makes their relationship out to be genuine and the two sleep together, a deviation from history and a particularly troubling one given that the real elizabeth was uncomfortable with seymour's advances and actively tried to avoid him. it also spends six of its eight episodes on seymour when seymour was beheaded a third of the way through edward's reign. thus, it has its upsides and its major downsides - oh, and the characters say fuck a lot, which is mildly annoying. but i can enjoy it, as long as elizabeth's not talking and they're not focusing too much on seymour... a bit of a letdown from a show supposedly about her.
there's also the tudors, which is a bit of a mixed bag - it makes some inexplicable changes from history, but it often uses quotations from tudor sources in its dialogue. the casting can be a bit... wonky, but it does have its moments, and offers a somewhat more balanced version of more vs cromwell. i don't particularly like it because it often modernises the characters a bit - and i don't want that! making characters act like modern people seriously misses the point: this is historical fiction, not a modern thriller or whatever. the girlbossification of historical women who were often seriously held back by the men around them and wielded influence in rather different ways to what we think of as strong women is exhausting.
and there is historical fiction which i really enjoy. dissolution (and its sequels) is a murder mystery series by c. j. sansom, narrated by the fictional matthew shardlake, a disabled king's commissioner working for cromwell. he ends up investigating the murder of another commissioner at a monastery in scarnsea. it deals with the issues of religion, gender, and disability in very interesting ways; matthew is not infallible and clearly holds some very tudor views of the world. it's a richly-written world and it really does feel like you're in 1530s england, and i really recommend it. i also like becket (1964) and the lion in winter, neither of which are particularly striving for accuracy - but they're good dramas and brilliantly acted, and, you know, maybe henry ii was secretly in love with thomas becket. (both are heartwrenching films and i will never be over: 'You give the lions of England back to me like a little boy who doesn't want to play anymore. I would have gone to war with all England's might behind me, and even against England's interests, to defend you, Thomas. I would have given away my life laughingly for you. Only I loved you and you didn't love me. That's the difference.' my feelings on bill (2015) are more or less the same - it's an intentionally ahistorical film, and it works because it's well-written and not trying to accurately represent the past. the '70s series like the six wives of henry viii and the shadow of the tower are really enjoyable, too - because they actually cared about making decent series about the tudors relying on the actual events which transpired during the era!
i'll leave the question of costuming out in the open; i think this youtube video has some good points on whether period-accurate costuming is essential. i like it, personally, but i'm not going to be furious at a missed french hood; the only thing that will truly make me furious is a french hood with no veil. either bother, or don't bother! don't... don't do neither, jesus christ! as for historical accuracy in general - i think that's a question which will never have one true answer. personally, i do value a rough adherence to the historical timeline, at least for fairly well-know facts like, i don't know, henry viii having two sisters? why does the tudors merge them into one person? what? anyway. i think these posts offer some valuable insight into how vague and murky a concept historical accuracy really is and how it can be wielded as a weapon against people rather than in the interests of a good story (read at your own peril - they are quite long). there is also the problem of hindsight - as readers, we know that edward vi will die at only fifteen. the average person at the time did not! well, not until 1553. the point is, books where the narrator has seemingly prophetic powers or knowledge of future events are unrealistic. what i think is most important is writing stories that more or less accord to the timeline of history in the general details and capturing the attitudes of people who lived in the past decently. this is what really brings historical fiction to life, in my opinion. these also offer up good opportunities for parody and satire - a film which intentionally gets history wrong Because Incest is frustrating, but a film which intentionally gets history wrong to parody it, like blackadder, can be incredibly entertaining. inaccuracy is not always bad. that said, if you don't make henry viii ginger, i will hate you forever. soz. as for language - it's ridiculous to expect dialogue to be written 100% in middle english or what-have-you, but the occasional 'god's bones!' instead of 'oh my god' would be nice, and an avoidance of just putting a load of fucks in there...
and finally, for the elephant in the room... misogyny. there are certainly other -isms which permeate historical fiction as they do everything else, but this is the big one. so many depictions of women in historical fiction uncritically buy into the narratives of misogynistic medieval commentators which we have inherited from centuries of men recycling them. like calling women sluts, or witches, or writing them as genuinely sleeping with a male relative - taking the slander against them literally. like boxing women into a few stereotypes - docile and submissive; scheming bitch; old hag; and whore. like sexing up rapists and groomers. like forgiving historical men for things we condemn historical women for.
i hope this helped! i have many thoughts, none of which are easily summarised. i don't know if there's a right answer to this. but i do know one thing: the white princess is bad. thank you for the ask!
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lansplaining · 1 year
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with all the hunger game polls going on atm w some obvious strong contenders going out all ready (lxc..) who do u think would actually win the games, if everyone got dropped into a hunger games setting
(either w minimal cultivation - so no inedia or flying on swords etc - or any cultivation at all?)
okay so
if we're running this like the ACTUAL hunger games, instead of just a free-for-all with everyone, here is how it breaks down for me:
Jiang Tributes: Yanli and Wei Wuxian (Jiang Cheng got picked and he volunteered, of course, though I was deeply tempted to do it the other way around, but that's my pro-JC bias showing)
Jin Tributes: Mianmian and Jin Guangyao (forced to volunteer for Zixuan by his dad)
Lan Tributes: Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji (because there are no named Lan girls jdfljsdkf and I think it would be a point of pride that they not ask anyone to take their place. desperately tempted to send Su Minshan in place of one of them, though)
Nie Tributes: Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue (i mean there's literally no other Nies so :|)
Wen Tributes: Wen Qing and Wen Ning (sent by their uncle to make an example of them)
Wei Wuxian, Wen Qing, and Lan Xichen, and Nie Mingjue's priorities are to protect their (sect) siblings, which puts them at an immediate disadvantage because they are not prioritizing personal survival. Honestly the best case scenario for WWX is if Yanli dies early, but he's also skilled enough to not let that happen.
People will argue that Huaisang is less of a burden to Nie Mingjue than he tries to seem, but I think improvising in the wilderness in a realm where he can't stir up an angry mob is going to neuter him of his strongest skill.
In contrast to both, Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are going to be operating as a pretty seamless unit, except for the part where they both keep trying to die for the other one.
Ironically, Wen Qing is probably the one holding Wen Ning back-- by trying to protect him, she's not really letting him get in the mix and show off his skills, to both of their detriment.
This leaves us with Team Jin. Future rogue cultivator Mianmian and spy and assassin Jin Guangyao are a very compelling pair, and they have the skills to take advantage of the fact that they're the only ones not held back by family ties.
uh sorry this got long
If Yanli dies early enough, Wei Wuxian obviously has what it takes; the question is whether that happens. I think with two canny manipulators in Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao, who are both content to use people's loved ones against them when needed, Yanli stays alive to keep Wei Wuxian distracted (and obviously the Lans and the Wens aren't going to kill her).
However, I don't think Nie Huaisang lasts long. Nie Mingjue wants to push him to fight for himself, and he'd end up in over his head. This would just push Nie Mingjue over the edge in terms of rage and grief, and he'd lose a fight he probably should have won because he's just coming undone, and/or maybe just qi deviates.
Though Mianmian becomes a rogue cultivator, she isn't one yet, and in canon as a teenager she's a bit of a crybaby. She puts up a good fight but she can't compare. Ditto Wen Ning and Wen Qing, though Wen Qing probably gets at least one murder assist by incapacitating someone who someone else comes along and kills later.
Lan Xichen kills himself rather than forcing either Lan Wangji or Jin Guangyao to kill him. The question is only whether this is a Twin Jade pact or if Lan Wangji is left to face down Jin Guangyao in the final two. I honestly thing a direct fight between them is a toss-up, but I think Jin Guangyao has a longer history of channeling his grief into murder rather than incapacitating sadness and self-destruction, and that gives him the edge to win.
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theabysscomeshome · 6 months
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Honkai Impact Webcomic - Elan Palatinus - Abridged Part 3
Part 1 here
Part 2 here
5000 years later: I definitely did not forget this was a thing haha
Fragmented fast forward so it's kind of a montage existential crisis caused by finding out your best friend is maybe evil:
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There's like a whole dreamscape thing in the middle here where she talks with her dead dad? Pretty sure. It's not important. What IS important is:
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When the friend who's just found out you're the villain is a literal paladin. Kallen may make for a terrible vigilante but what she IS good at is big damn dramatic entrances.
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We actually know Eleanor (brown haired girl) but you'll have to read the comic yourself to find out because we kind of skipped all of her scenes oops. Otto saved her life and she thinks he walks on water, essentially.
More importantly:
MAN her monster form is pretty
The VIBES in this scene [chef's kiss]
The callback to Fu Hua 🥺
Fun fact this scene was apparently censored when it was released in mainland China to remove the religious overtones. Eleanor is instead arguing that they need the box to win the war, which gives the whole scene a MUCH different vibe and is a major reason why Kallen is relatively unpopular in China compared to in other regions.
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This Is Fine. Definitely not the result of ten years of stoking Otto's paranoia and dependence on Kallen finally paying off by getting Otto to give in, just a bit, to the voice whispering in the back of his head. I had to cut them because image limit but this is followed by them defeating Eleanor and the honkai posessing? her leaves in a dark cloud, passes over Otto because he's already claimed by "another", and tries to possess Kallen.
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"But the Kaslanas true secret is this: they are just too damn pure of heart and dumb of ass to give in to corruption, and thus honkai has no power over them."
I'm RIGHT and will not be taking constructive criticism at this time.
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And Thus, The Bosom Friends Are Separated, And We Take One Step Closer To The Ship War.
"But Kallen's a jerk for leaving him when he loves her so much" "But Kallen was right to leave him because he's evil and unredeemable" People it is a TRAGEDY that is the POINT of it. He loved her and he also tore everything they had apart with his own two hands. My favorite part of this tbh is that in terms of the emotional beats and story arc it doesn't actually matter whether Kallen was ever "in love" with him romantically or not. The beats are the same either way. What they HAD together was the same either way. Love when that happens.
Anyway back with Otto, he has learned Zero lessons from this:
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It's fine though because that malevolent voice in his head has all the answers and can give him all the knowledge he wants!
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The LOOK. He WAS listening to Kallen, at least a little bit. Enough to be wary of this promise.
We're wrapping up the comic and I have exactly one image left before hitting post limit so I will leave with:
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A personal letter that he never sent, because he has ~bigger things on his plate now. But the person she wants to save in the village is a miko now being corrupted by the box, who is all but stated elsewhere to be Kallen's sweetheart, and Kallen gets to be the suave and cool tuxedo mask at least once and it's great. They live happily ever after and are not Tragedy 2.0 at all.
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whentranslatorscry · 11 months
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Hitagi Honeymoon
008
The next day would greet us with clear, blue skies— except in my hometown. As an aside, the weather in Washington, D.C., where I currently have a foothold, also seemed to be quite pleasant.
What a convenient age we live in, being able to confirm the conditions of various localities through weather cameras online. Presently, at least, there was no rain in Tochigi Prefecture; there were no approaching typhoons, no signs of tornadoes.
It seemed that the ominous prediction— or should I say, the gracious advice— of the Eleventh Witch Oikura, was not an immediate cause for concern.
However, a low probability of rain is not necessarily the bare minimum condition for activities such as glamping or car camping. After all, we weren't going to be roughing it outside with no shelter, so we wouldn't need to cancel our honeymoon trip unless there was torrential rain, relentless snowfall (in summer), or anything equally pressing— that is, if stargazing wasn't the main event.
When stargazing is concerned, the problem isn't just rain; even a hint of cloudiness would be enough to render our plans null and void.
It had been quite some time since I had last gone stargazing. In fact, the only time I could recall doing so was the starry date with Senjougahara Hitagi. And even that had been a sort of surprise attack. I had completely forgotten that, when it comes to the conditions of the sky, one can only truly leave it up to fate. While we can try to predict whether it will rain or not by resorting to long-term weather forecasts, the matter of whether the sky will be clouded over is still, quite literally, up in the air.
“Don’t worry, I knew all that beforehand— that's what makes it an authentic experience of stargazing, including the looming uncertainty. To enjoy such thrilling moments, knowing that it could all turn out to be a wild centipede chase, is what makes a visit to the land of the giant centipede even more compelling.”
“That’s not what the giant centipede is about.”
“Even if it happens to be cloudy or rainy, there's nothing to worry about, really. It's not like we're in New Zealand; we can always make a return trip within our country whenever we please.”
That's how Hitagi comforted me as I fumbled around in a flustered panic.
It was something an astronomy enthusiast would already know, after all.
“Family is about repeating the cycle over and over again, getting another chance to make things right no matter what. That is what makes a family.”
Yeah, that was a good point.
Although I was happy to inadvertently learn that little bit about Hitagi's notion of family— and it became even more poignant when I thought of what her family had overcome— at the same time, I couldn't help but be painfully aware of my own shortcomings. No matter how well I'd thought to prepare for this trip, meticulously assembling the itinerary and drafting the roadmap, the harsh reality was that I still couldn't shake my lackadaisical, go-with-the-flow personality even at the age of twenty-four.
It's better to feel pain than nothing at all, right?
If, on our honeymoon, we went stargazing only to be met with impenetrable cloudy skies or rain so heavy that we couldn't even open our eyes, at least we could laugh about it later. Of course, it's always best if the sun is shining.
The uncertain future looms ahead.
“But what I'm most happy about is finally being able to meet Shinobu, after all this time. My dream has come true. I've missed so many opportunities to meet her, ever since that close call at the abandoned cram school. I was starting to doubt if she was even real, or just a girl from your imagination.”
Wouldn’t that be great.
It was a big deal to be suspected of such a thing, but at any rate, Shinobu, a very non-imaginary girl, was shy, so the process of persuasion— or rather, convincing her— proved to be quite difficult.
Even with my blood-related family like Karen and Tsukihi, she had managed to keep her secrets, so she argued that it wouldn't be a problem to keep the same secret from Hitagi (quite a sound argument). It was a pretty tough task to break down her reasoning. The former Fire Sisters had not known about aberrations, let alone the existence of vampires, but for Hitagi, aberrations were already an open secret; there was no reason to keep hiding them. Eventually, I managed to convince her through reasoned arguments.
Even so, if it had been old Shinobu, she would have probably withdrawn into the shadows like the elusive Sun Goddess herself. Nonetheless, she not only chose to reveal herself in this candid manner but even declared that she would accompany us on our honeymoon. Maybe she, too, was changing in some ways.
Admittedly, I failed to persuade Oikura to join us on this trip (truth be told, I genuinely wished she would have come even though I knew she wouldn’t). But, regardless, our quartet's journey to Tochigi has taken shape, with the Nasu Highlands as our destination. It's not exactly ideal, but we can only hope that at least in the open field of Senjougahara, it will be sunny.
When it comes to family outings, the time it takes to get everyone out the door can feel excruciatingly long. So long, in fact, that the hapless sort who forgets to check the weekly weather forecast might be tempted to just hurry up and leave, regardless of how well-prepared they are. But as much as I didn't want to keep everybody waiting, there was still one more thing I had to take care of while we were in town.
Before heading to the rendezvous at Kanbaru’s house, I needed to pay a visit to the very place where Hitagi and I had held our wedding just a few days prior— North Shirahebi Shrine.
There hadn’t been any remarks from Oikura about it, but it suddenly hit me while I was chatting on the phone with my childhood friend. Having held our wedding at that fateful shrine and pledging our eternal love, would it really be permissible for us to visit a shrine of marriage in another prefecture, even if it was a World Heritage site? It was a question that crossed my mind, right at the brink, due to my skeptical nature.
This was something Hanekawa had taught me when I had been studying for exams: praying too much for success at multiple shrines and temples might cause the gods to quarrel amongst themselves, so it's better to focus on just one. Now that I think about it, that advice might have been a subtle criticism of my usual carefree attitude rather than being a mere tip about praying for success. Well, besides, an attitude of indiscriminately relying on divine intervention might not be all that praiseworthy and it’s maybe better not to indulge in it.
That said, I couldn't help but feel that it would be a little excessive to go out of my way to respectfully avoid places like Nikko Toshogu Shrine and Futarasan Shrine, which we had already incorporated into our roadmap. Hence, I decided to settle the matter by informing the somewhat temperamental god of North Shirahebi Shrine about our plans before leaving.
When I had visited the shrine one early morning during high school, I had experienced a bizarre encounter with a huge sword supposedly slicing me into pieces. It felt like an appropriate time to overcome that trauma.
“What a surprise! If it isn't the newlywed Sakuragi Koyomi-san.”
“Although I'm honored, don't compare me to the recently made-into-a-film red-haired basketball genius. My name is Araragi.”
“Sorry, I stuttered.”
“No, you did it on purpose.”
“I stubbed.”
“It wasn’t on purpose?!”
“I slam-dunked.”
“Are you talking about the manga?”
“I read it back in the day without paying too much attention, but having Sakuragi, Akagi, and Miyagi all on the same team, don’t you think their surnames are quite the curious coincidence?”
“Don’t criticize an epic manga like that.”
Speaking of Akagi, the protagonist does have red hair… that, in a way, might actually make it more realistic.
“Real is also a basketball manga, isn't it?” remarked Hachikuji Mayoi, the shrine's resident deity, displaying her keen insight.
Although I'd like to introduce her as the same Hachikuji as ever, she appeared in her adult form in the shrine maiden outfit, just like when I saw her at my wedding. To me now, she appears to be of a similar age, but why? Isn't she supposed to be a lost eleven-year-old fifth-grader god?
“Didn’t we explain it at the wedding? From the moment I first met you, Araragi-san, time has continued to flow without interruption, public opinion kept being updated, and it was concluded that it's not desirable from a compliance standpoint to have a grown man and a school girl with a backpack in the same frame. So, this is how my character design was changed.”
“Is compliance stronger than even divine power?”
“Child labor isn't a good thing either, so we changed how I look, even if just visually. My essence is still that of a fifth-grader.”
While that could be a difficult setting in itself, I suppose it's true for everyone. We may have matured in appearance, but inside we remain fifth graders.
Since turning twenty-four, my character had not changed much from when I was a high school senior. I couldn’t plan a trip properly and I genuinely enjoyed the Slam Dunk movie.
“Yes, it was just a bit confusing with Sakuragi and Akagi.”
“That does feel like an adult perspective, but when it comes to last names, there's quite a bit to think about in recent times. It's the perfect topic. Would you listen, Hachikuji?”
Since we had a meeting time and couldn’t spend too long in conversation, I got straight to the point. This, too, might be the mark of being an adult. When I was a high schooler and Hachikuji a fifth grader, we would have spend three hours just talking about Slam Dunk. We would get carried away with Rukawa’s story.
And now, as I transitioned into describing the ever-flowing theme of honeymoon, I couldn’t help but feel a certain melancholy. The days of being able to control time, back when it seemed impossibly long, had slipped through my fingers.
“I see. So, you're going to Mount Akagi.”
“Listen. To me. Properly.”
“Mount Nantai, then? I can't really discourage you from going there, I guess.”
She may have had a complicated sentiment as a god, as Hachikuji had been living in such an unknown mountain. But she was a novice deity, and she takes pride in having protected the town from an infectious disease, even leading the virus astray. She’s done some pretty scary things, when you think about it.
“Personally, I think if you’re going to introduce Shinobu-san to Senjougahara-san— pardon, it was the missus.”
“The missus? Are you also taking the stance of Lieutenant Columbo?”
“If you're going to introduce Shinobu-san to Mrs. Araragi, I'd really like you to introduce me as well, and soon.”
“But didn't you more or less meet the other day at the wedding?”
“She can’t see me at all. That means she’s completely devoid of doubt. It seems she’s gone through a lot, but maybe, she’s never lost sight of her home.”
“Her home.”
“Or her family.”
That made me wonder if I had always been just floating aimlessly— from the day I first met Hachikuji Mayoi, the day I had that fight with my sisters and up until today when I was leaving for my honeymoon.
“If you were to remove your doubts, there would be nothing left of you, Araragi-san.”
“Spoken by you, it sounds like it’s over for me, like a divine prophecy. Well, honestly, it would be a sad story if my doubts were gone and I couldn’t see you anymore. From morning until night, I want to gaze upon you only.”
“Even the adult version of me?”
“I wouldn't be deceived by appearances, you see.”
“That means you see a fifth-grader in the adult me as well.”
Though the image of a high school senior and a fifth-grade girl messing around together may indeed not be modern, the reason for such a bond could be the length of our relationship, and how we've grown to have such conversations— sitting side by side at the shrine.
I wouldn't want to lose this. This sense of who I am.
“It may be for the best that doubts, like feeling lost, stay hidden. But it seems that you continue to be lost, both at home and abroad, so this ill-fated bond may persist for a while longer. I said it myself but I must admit, ‘ill-fated bond’ is quite the phrase.”
“Fateful alone would already be exceptional, but this is a persistent illness, It almost seems like I'm about to become unfaithful.”¹
“There's danger in using the word ‘unfaithful’ as a newlywed. In your case though, you’ve been unified with Shinobu-san for a long time, and so, regardless of your doubts, you might be able to see me. Being a member of the Hearsay Department makes you almost an expert, I’d presume.”
“Mhm. I hope that’s the case. It’s undeniably true that I’m feeling lost at the moment. You could say I'm wandering aimlessly— as ever. I’ve had a wedding, and we’re legally married, of course. The honeymoon we're about to go on could also be called a product of this hesitation.”
“It’s admirable that you’re pondering over a surname so much, Araragi-san. After all, names are very important.”
“Really? You say that after you just called me Sakuragi-san? And for that matter, all eighteen years of mispronouncing my name?”
“I've over-chewed it, and my jaw is growing tired.”
“Don't go chewing someone's name like it's gum.”
“I've brought it up a few times before, but when my parents divorced and my last name changed, I was bothered too. I was really fond of the name Tsunade, you see.”
“Yeah. It may sound strange to say, to me, you’ve always been Hachikuji, so now the name Tsunade feels new.”
Tsunade Mayoi.
Maybe for a snail, that might be more fitting.
“Well then, why don't you become Araragi Mayoi at this point?”
“Isn't that being too wishy-washy for the Araragi family? Are you trying to create a legitimate Araragi Harem?”
���Although there has never been such a dubious organization, now the mere thought of one is incredibly exhausting. It feels like there wouldn't be a single fun thing about Araragi Harem.”
“It’s so sad seeing you withered away completely… I can't bear to look at you, Araragi-san. I feel like saying I hate you. Please don't talk to me.”
Being told this by her adult version carried a different weight. On the other hand, the memory of a full-blown fistfight with a fifth-grader was far from becoming for a police officer.
“I'd like to bury you just to erase that memory.”
“What on earth are you saying in these harrowed grounds? Anyway, the idea of adopting Shinobu-san far outstrips the former Araragi-san.”
“So I thought I'd adopt you as well at this point, but it just doesn't work out.”
“Please, don’t create a project like a philanthropic attempt to adopt orphans from all around. No, you may create such projects, but… In your case, Araragi-san, the impression that you are indiscriminately collecting these orphans isn't a good one.”
In any case, adopting an adult version of Hachikuji as my child had a completely different sense of criminality than adopting a fifth-grade girl.
“If anything, I’d rather become your adopted son, Hachikuji. Hachikuji Koyomi— doesn't it sound dated and cool?”
“It certainly slides smoothly like the Iroha slope. There's a miraculous appeal to it… but what's a vampire to do by joining the ranks of god's retinue?”
“What’s more,” Hachikuji said while looking at my shadow that had fallen within the shrine grounds. “What does Shinobu-san think about it? I doubt that she’s very keen on the idea of meeting your wife, let alone becoming an adopted child to you.”
“Should we just ask her? Would have to wake her up, though.”
Since the early hours of a human morning were the late hours of a vampire night, Shinobu was currently fast asleep inside my shadow.
“You could say she’s sleeping bloody amd dead, completely exhausted from our debate.”
“There’s a debate going on? What do you mean, sleeping bloody and dead— is that some kind of vampire slang?”
“It's ‘cause we're family that we fight like that, you know.”
“Oh, you sound like you know what you’re talking about, coming from a dysfunctional family.”
“Who’s from a dysfunctional family?”
Actually, me.
Now, I may be slightly exaggerating with my words, but it was true that, especially during my first and second years in high school, the Araragi family had a tendency to lose its functionality as a family.
The sixteen-year-old Araragi could barely imagine a future where he could enjoy a carefree dinner with his sister— let alone one where she works the same job. I fell on hard times in high school, I had no expectations from my parents, and I had fallen out with my sisters. On graduation— or dropping out— I planned to move out of the house immediately.
It was a mess, pretty much.
“A mess, huh.”
“And it's not like we're functioning even now. My parents have both been dispatched to Tokyo, I’ve based myself abroad, and my other sister is nowhere to be found. The family's dysfunction is barely being maintained.”
“Please don’t maintain it.”
As I pondered repeatedly, Karen, the most untamed and liberated person I know, was beyond my imagination, protecting our home all alone.
“And that's precisely why I want the home I build to be filled with warmth and ceaseless laughter. Is that too much to ask?”
“A home filled with laughter? It's undoubtedly better than one filled with ceaseless abuse.”
“Don't even try to joke about that. You can't compare laughter with abuse.”
“In all seriousness, though, I'm rooting for you. Make sure that nothing like the cycle of abuse continues. Here's to proving wrong the ridiculous notion that children raised in dysfunctional families can't build healthy homes. Show them what you're made of.”
“I never thought I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but that's probably what it was.”
If anything, it might be that this reflects Hitagi's unwavering resolve. It wasn't about function or dysfunction, her family had already crumbled once before. And even as a single-parent household afterward, they were far from well-balanced or stable— there was a time when Hitagi was losing weight and had to continuously visit the hospital.
So, the idea of building a new family must have been a great leap that she resolutely took. It was for these reasons, her view of what makes a family, that I wanted to respect and support her.
If we really wanted to, we could have chosen to move in together, have a common-law marriage, or live together without changing our names to leave an escape route should things turn sour. But maybe she wanted to cut off any chance of escape entirely.
It wasn't like I was completely devoid of such sentiment while deciding to marry, after all this time of being together since Mother's Day during our third year of high school.
I can’t be a student forever.
“I still see you as a student of sorts, going to the FBI Academy and all.”
“When you put it that way, I can't really deny it…”
“Still, once you and the missus start sharing your life together, it's clear that you can't just leave Shinobu-san as she is.”
“Isn’t there any other way to call her? It's a bit confusing for a goddess to call her missus.”²
“Should we call her your spouse?'”
“Weird how wife doesn't seem appropriate, but spouse does.”
“Your wife knew about Shinobu-san and accepted her proposal with that knowledge, so I think there must be some understanding between them.”
“Yeah, she looks enthusiastic. Even said she was looking forward to meeting her today.”
“And she approved of the adoption too?”
“I have that prepared as a surprise for our honeymoon.”
“Sounds like a recipe for divorce.”
Hachikuji showed a concerned look.
With her adult version, it didn’t feel like a joke, there was a serious impression.
She really was a talented actress.
“I'm just dumbfounded. Making big life-changing decisions in some surprise. Regardless of whether or not it’s Shinobu-san, adoption is a major step that will steer the direction of your married life. Are you planning to push through with such a monumental decision just because of the starry, romantic atmosphere?”
“Maybe I should mention it beforehand?”
“It's not a ‘maybe,’ it's a must. If you don't bring it up beforehand, you'd do better not saying anything at all.”
Oh, such grown-up advice.
If she were still in fifth grade, she would've most probably gone along with the mischief and agreed enthusiastically, “Yeah, let's surprise her!” But being chastised seriously, she did make a point.
This wasn’t a conversation to have under a starry sky, and besides, it might be cloudy anyway.
“But… as long as you’re considerate of your wife's feelings, I do believe that adopting Shinobu-san into the Araragi family would be the best course of action.”
“As a friend?”
“A god.”
Quite the grand scale we're talking about here.
I made things that way, I suppose.
“I've been training with Gaen-san, so I've learned a thing or two about sealing away powerful aberrations simply by knowing their names. Shinobu-san was sealed away by Oshino-san more than six years ago, and yet, Oshino-san himself has been away from this town for a long time. The seal grows weaker.”
“It does?”
That's certainly not a comforting thought.
In other words, it suggested the potential revival of Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire— an event that a god could not overlook.
I hadn't considered this possibility. Not considering it felt practically like inviting risk.
“If anything, it's a miracle that Shinobu-san stayed restrained with Oshino-san’s name, the wandering specialist. If she were a Killing Stone, she would've broken free long ago.”
I’m not overly keen on singing his praises, but it's impossible not to recognize that Oshino was a remarkable specialist— it would be off the mark for an amateurish FBI agent to think that Shinobu's seal would break if the current situation was left unchanged, and it may be nothing more than a novice deity’s unfounded fretting.
I didn’t expect it to last for one or two centuries, but it could very well endure until Oshino’s death. In any case, I believe that time has come. Rather than allowing the seal to continue under the name of a random old man, it was only right that she was sealed under my name, both as the responsible party and her guardian.
“Well, yeah, there's no denying he was also a participant in that hell. Even if we leave out the name Oshino, it's perfectly fine to keep the Shinobu part.”
“That's an exceedingly condescending attitude toward our benefactor. But from a divine standpoint, it's probably for the best that Oshino-san’s name isn't completely removed. For example, giving her a name like Araragiaaaa wouldn’t be a good idea.”
“From a human standpoint as well, that would be a bad idea.”
This isn’t some RPG, after all.
However, once it's brought up, the matter of what name I should give Shinobu became a tantalizing question. This wasn’t mere whimsy. In fact, it was the pureblood vampire who had transformed her— or rather, Princess Acerola, or Lola— into a vampire: Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide-Master had fully designed her current name.
While I had no intention of defying the divine advice that it's better to retain Shinobu's name, it might be amusing to play with the idea as an idle pastime— like considering names for my own child, what about giving her a new one?
“Hmm. It's not derived from anything in particular, but how about Araragi Tsubasa?”
“That’s too heavy! Besides, I think your wife mentioned something similar a long time ago.”
Was that the case? Well if so, we were a couple cut from the same cloth.
“Araragi Nadeko?”
“Not just heavy, that's a precursor to a dysfunctional family. Please don't name the adopted child after a woman you've cut ties with.”
“It's not just the names of women I've cut ties with.”
“I guess you’re going to say Araragi Sodachi next?”
“I was going to say that, yes, but I'm not actually estranged from Oikura. She's more of an ill-fated bond.”
“Whether you call her a childhood friend or an ill-fated bond, it certainly changes things quite a bit… Who else? Any other estranged women in Araragi-san’s life? Tsukihi-san, maybe?”
“Though her whereabouts are indeed unknown, I have no intention of severing ties with her. She's my sister.”
“You've always been consistent in that regard. Well, it's not ideal to name a living acquaintance after a great figure, a deceased one or the like.”
“Right, it isn't.”
“Oshino-san didn’t name her something like Oshino Mememe either.”
“Mememe?”
Shinobu’s character would have been quite different. She might not have been as shy.
“Who knows, she might've been a young girl who loved neatly prepared mackerel rather than donuts.”
“Shinobu Shimeshimeshime³ doesn't sound right either. So, in the spirit of you who is not only a great figure but also a divine being, how about Araragi Mayoi?”
“Terrifically heavy. And it's just plain creepy if you name your daughter something like that. Why are you so desperate to bring Araragi Mayoi into existence?”
“If we take you and Shinobu, divide by two, we might just end up with the perfect little girl.”
“What's with this little girl idea? It's creepy when you look at adoption like that. No one like that should be a foster parent. It's not cunning, it's just recklessly said.”
Hmph.
We had come up with many thought experiments, but in conclusion, Araragi Shinobu seemed to be the most suitable choice for now. There was no sign that an idea greater than that would emerge, whether in terms of this process or sealing.
The world works in wonderful ways, doesn't it?
“But you know, I can't help but think that if my name wasn't Araragi Koyomi, I might have turned out to be a completely different person.”
“Yes, you may have ended up dating someone else entirely, too.”
Although I didn’t want to believe that fate could be so drastically altered by a single name, actually, even during my junior and senior high school days, a different attendance number could easily change my position within the class.
Having a starting letter “A” in my name, my attendance number was always either one or two, and just after the class change, it was inevitably a conspicuously awkward position for self-introductions.
I had thought of it like a vile, loathsome four-syllable word that smeared on my beloved wife’s name, but I found myself grateful for the name given to me by my parents: Araragi.
And technically, it was the name of my father's father's father's father— maybe. It may have originated from a grandmother somewhere along the line, but the further back in time we go, the more unlikely that becomes…
“I should get going, though. I may not go on as many tangents as before, but I still lose track of time when I talk to you.”
“It's such an honor for a goddess to hear that.”
“Do you want to come with me? To Senjougahara?”
“Even the adult version of me is still a novice. I dare not venture into Takamagahara.”
Takamagahara? Oh right, that sacred place at Futarasan Shrine. Everyone's so knowledgeable about Tochigi Prefecture. If only I had paid more attention in geography class…
“Right, I’ll pray from this distant mountain for a sunny day at Senjougahara.”
“That's thoughtful of you, but you're the god of lost children, not the god of weather. Or are you going to make me a teru teru bouzu to ward off the rain?”
“Oh, no, although I now serve as a goddess at this snake-themed shrine, I was originally just a lost snail. I may not be as powerful as the sun goddess Amaterasu, but I still have some control over the rain.”
Hachikuji's smile was radiant, like that of a child, filling me with warmth like the sun itself.
“Rain or shine, it remains elementary for me.”
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腐れ縁, bad (but inseparable) relationship and 不貞腐れる, to become unfaithful.
The kami in 上さん、one’s wife、 sounds like 神、god.
忍野〆〆〆<- this weird symbol called shime, looks like katakana メ.
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authenticmiya · 3 years
Text
Alone - Johnny Lawrence x Reader
Summary - Based on the song Alone by Heart, reader doesn’t know how to cope with Johnny putting all of his time into the dojo, and not into his marriage.
Words - 1.7k
Warnings - angst
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The sparkles on your wedding ring could just about be seen as the moon lit up the apartment. Letting out a shaky yet frustrated sigh, the clock was still ticking, except this time, two hours had gone by. Johnny wasn't back, when was he ever back?
As it neared 1am, the debate of going to bed was playing on your mind, but there was no way you were going to sleep without talking to your husband, if he was that anymore.
"Come on Johnny, pick up." You sighed, trying not only his telephone at work but the stupid cell phone that you should've known he couldn't answer.
But not being able to use technology wasn't an excuse. It wasn't hard to keep a promise, in fact it wasn't hard to just not make the promise in the beginning. A knock on the door pulled you straight from your wandering thoughts. Looking through the peep-hole, you realised it was Miguel.
"Seriously kid." You groaned before opening the door. You loved him like a son, you really did, but you were not in the mood to socialise with anyone.
"Hi Mrs Lawrence, Sensei told me to tell you-" He began but you cut him off.
"Don't worry Miguel, this is the fourth time you've had to tell me that he's gotta do all of the paperwork, I get it. Thank-you." The sadness in your tone made Miguel feel bad.
"He's in the Dojo Mrs Lawrence, it's not my place to say but instead of waiting around for him to come home, why don't you just go down there?" Miguel suggested.
"I appreciate that kid, but I don't wanna start a fight." You admitted to the teenage boy, and you couldn't quite believe it because he hardly knew love himself.
"Fight for this love, you're badass." He chuckled before heading back over to his place. 1am and Miguel had only just left the dojo, so who knows when Johnny will be home. After the brief conversation, the time just went by extremely slow, but that didn't stop you from staying awake.
"I’m not having another night end with me being alone." You muttered, and it was as if god answered your prayers, because the keys jangled in the front door, and in stepped Johnny.
"Jesus Christ why are you sat in the dark babe?" Johnny laughed as he flipped the switch to the lights on.
"Till the moment I saw you them years ago, I had always got by on my own." You told him, twiddling your fingers as you sat on the couch. Johnny looked at you strangely, as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.
"I never really cared until I met you Johnny. Nobody cared for me, and I never cared for anybody. I spent years upon years, dreaming I'd marry a guy like you, and I got him in the end." There was no way you could cry in front of him.
"Listen if this is about me and the dojo, I really wanna spare that fight." Johnny sighed as he stood a distance away from you.
"Sometimes I reminisce on the good times we had. Before Larusso, before the alcohol, before this goddamn dojo Johnny." Now the words were just falling from your mouth.
"Don't mention that name under this roof again." He suddenly snapped, and now you had hit the nerve.
"How do I get you alone Johnny? Because I lost you the moment that asshole came back into your life. Don't try and sugarcoat it, please save me the bullshit. You're all I ever wanted and all I've ever had. Ever since Cobra Kai reopened, I don't see you. I wake up, you're not there, I go to sleep and you're still not there." It took a lot of courage to talk to him without getting mad, for nearly every argument that was made, was because of your attitude.
"You will always have me Y/N, but I have a business to run, I'm protecting these kids." Johnny swigged on his drink, also trying not to give you a nasty reaction.
"They're relying on me, they have nothing but karate to help them with their confidence, you would know if you were there." He suddenly came out with when you didn't reply.
"I'm relying on you too Johnny, you know your wife?" You began.
"And here she goes with the whole emotional card. Whatever." He rolled his eyes and turned towards the bedroom.
"'No I refuse to let you do this to me again. We need to talk about this." You grabbed his bicep.
"Every-time we try and talk, a certain somebody turns it into something that could've been avoided." Johnny said sarcastically.
"Yeah and you shrug it off like it's nothing." You pinched the bridge of your nose.
"That's bullshit and you know it Y/N, I don't need to be constantly reminded of shit that you get insecure about." Oh he had finally cracked into his frustrated and angry mode.
"So me missing you is being insecure? Sorry for committing a crime jackass." You crossed your arms over your chest.
"Here she is, little miss childish, once again." Johnny slammed the door to your shared bedroom, now leaving you to decide whether to follow after him.
"Oh for fuck sake." You grumbled, opening the door. He was getting some clothes ready for what you presumed was for after he had showered.
"We have neighbours, you don't need to slam the door so loud." You finally spoke up again.
"I didn't know you could slam a door quietly." Johnny didn't look at you.
"What's going on with you? Please just talk to me Johnny." You felt like begging for a life time. You just wanted your husband back, even if it was just the extra kiss in the morning. But he wasn't talking to you.
"This is getting ridiculous Y/N." He groaned.
"No what's getting ridiculous is that you gradually built a dojo, but gradually pushed me to the side and I'm sorry if you think I'm childish, and that I start a fight with you for no reason. I don't mean to fight with you, we're meant to fight together for crying out loud." Johnny was listening to you but he wasn't responding.
"I never asked for this, I don't deserve this." Johnny stood up, grabbing a towel from the drawers.
"And you think I do? When was the last time you actually checked if I was okay?" Johnny didn't know what to say, he knew he hadn't been the best of husbands.
"Miguel stopped by today, actually ever since the dojo opened he's come by quiet frequently, telling me the usual that you're doing paperwork." You began.
"Also told me I was a badass who needed to fight for this love, but it takes two to fight, and right now, it's pretty clear that I'm the only one even fending for this marriage." A single tear dropped down your cheek but you refused to let him see it.
"I'll leave you to shower." You left the bedroom and decided that maybe tonight you should just keep your space from him. Deciding that sitting around doing nothing wasn't an option, you just decided to take the trash out. It wasn't really a normal thing to do in the earliest of hours in the morning, but it was something.
Johnny felt his heart stop when he heard the front door shut, something telling him that you were going to leave for the night and just not come back to him.
"Shit." He scrambled off the bed, completely throwing the thought of a shower out of his head.
"Y/N? Babe?" He called out, but he didn't know you were only just outside.
"Shit!" He shouted, grabbing his keys, ready to drive all lengths of the country just to bring you back. As he opened the front door, you were just heading back in.
"Please, just don't leave. We can talk this through, you can't leave me Y/N, I need you. God dammit I'm an asshole, I deserved everything you said to me just please come inside and we can talk it out, no arguing, no nothing." Johnny had his hands firmly on your shoulders.
"Why the hell would I leave you? I took the trash out." You told him, he glanced around back to the trash-can noticing how it was now empty, and had a huge sigh of relief.
"And besides don't you think I'd have been gone a long time ago if an argument was the reason we ever broke up?" You questioned him.
"Yeah I suppose you're right, you put up with a lot of shit huh?" Johnny took in your appearance for the first time, in such a long time.
The way your hair was just in a messy bun, the fact you were in one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. The Y/N he had fallen in love with, had been waiting for the affection she deserved and he simply hadn't realised how long she had gone without it.
"I'm sorry." He began.
"This isn't gonna happen again. You're not just gonna apologise and I'll melt into you. Johnny you've gotta mean it, you've seriously gotta mean it." You pleaded.
"Shall we order-" You cut him off.
"It's literally 2am and all I want right now, is to relax. We're both hotheaded and we need to be able to talk about things without getting riled up with each-other." You could tell he was listening to you very intently and without hesitation he lifted you up in a bridal fashioned way.
"This isn't what I expected but I'm not complaining." You chuckled as he shut the door with his foot. The two of you settled down on the bed together. 
"I love you." You told him, the argument slowly floating out of the window.
"I don't think you have any idea how much I love you." He sighed, pressing a firm, passionate kiss to your lips.
"We'll be okay won't we Y/N?" Johnny sighed, draping an arm across your waist.
"We'll be okay Johnny."
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hainethehero · 4 years
Text
BILLY BREAKS THINGS OFF WITH STEVE...
A big grin breaks Steve's face in two, glowing through his cheeks like a beautiful sunrise or something. He can hear the sound of Billy's Camaro rumbling to a stop in his front yard. His skin breaks out in goosebumps and his heart beats wildly, like an animal trapped in a cage.
It was movie night.
Nothing special, since they've been having nights like these since last Christmas. But tonight was different. Call him a stupid girl obsessing over shit that he shouldn't- but he really couldn't. Not after they'd done the Devil's tango for the first time about two days ago. Of course Billy had gone AWOL after that but he'd called earlier today... said he wanted to talk. It's been the only thing Steve could think about since that time... - that and the fact that he'd had sex with Billy for the first time! He stays replaying all the sounds and tastes in his head over and over again like a reel. He hoped to God that it had been as special for Billy as it had been for him.
His insides still felt soft, sore and mushy from where Billy had pounded into him, thighs burning with every movement of his legs. His pale hips sported several deep, purple, finger-shaped bruises and there were dark hickies colouring his alabaster neck like watercolours. And if he thought about it real hard, he could still feel Billy's hands in his hair, pulling and tugging and fucking yanking on it as he thrust into his tight hole.
God, he thinks, chastising himself for being so horny.
Get a grip Steve! Desperation was never a good look, on anyone.
Billy's suddenly at his front door, not even bothering to knock. No.
He just stands there looking all majestic and super chill in his aviators and leather jacket. Steve pulls the door open with shaky hands and just takes in the eyeful of glorious golden skin and Californian blue eyes. His heart flutters stupidly in his chest and Steve glares down at himself as if to berate his own goddamn heart. His cheeks become inflamed as Billy brushes past him, woodsy cologne filling Steve's senses. He tightens up involuntarily at the scent and slowly closes the door, biting at his lip with a nervous smile.
"H- hey," he mutters dumbly, craving the idea of rushing into Billy's arms but somehow restraining himself.
The blonde simply gazes at him; a kind of heat in his heavily hooded eyes. He's got on a white t-shirt under that black leather jacket, cotton pulled taut across his broad chest. God, Steve is going insane every minute his face isn't buried in Billy's chest. That's his safe place... and that white t-shirt is one of his favorites.
"We need to talk," Billy tells him in that raspy, low and smoky tone.
Steve goes molten between the legs and his heart does some weird kind of flip inside him. How the hell did Billy have so much control over his mind and body? Was that what sex with another guy was like? Or was this just a Billy thing? Because Steve has tasted the blonde once already- literally- ...and he wanted more.
"Yeah, we can," he nods with a grin, "but can we do it in my room? It's already warm in there and out here's like, freezing so-"
"Out here is fine," Billy interrupts, mouth drawn in a tight line and haw clenched tightly.
It's the first indication that maybe this was very serious and Steve hadn't noticed because he was too busy thinking about getting dicked down again.
"Wh- ...what's wrong?"
Billy stares at him, thick brows drawing over his darkened eyes. "I can't do this."
Oh God, Steve's gonna have an aneurysm.
"What?"
He forces himself to keep his cool, to not instantly turn into some crying, shaking mess that just wants to go down on his knees and beg the other boy to stay. He keeps repeating in his head that it's all just some sick fucking joke on Billy's part and offers the blonde a pained grin but his heart falters when Billy's expression doesn't change.
"Bill-"
"I'm leaving town. Tonight."
Steve feels the breath get knocked out of him and this time he takes a quick step forward. "Billy what's going on-??"
Billy takes a step back, growling. "I just told you, I'm leaving."
"That's not- ...What happened? Why are you leaving? Was it your Dad?"
"It wasn't my fucking Dad-"
"Well then tell me!"
"Tell you what?!" Billy shouts, getting in Steve's face now, a deep rumble in the back of his throat.
"Why are you leaving? Why now?" Steve snaps, the pit of his stomach hollowing itself. He's so fucking scared and hurt right now but all he can feel is the hot and cold running all over his damp skin. Hot tears prickle and sting his eyes but he doesn't dare blink for fear of missing Billy for too long.
"Harrington-"
"No!" Steve screams, "You tell me why you're suddenly moving out of Hawkins! Tell me why! Tell- wait, is it because of me?"
Something in Billy's expression shifts and he looks away, cursing under his breath, fists clenched hard.
"It's not you, don't flatter yourself Harrington."
And that particular statement puts Steve on notice. This couldn't have been Billy talking. His Dad maybe but he'd stopped calling him Harrington whenever they argued. Apparently it sounded too impersonal and not intimate at all. Which is the opposite of how Billy had been cooing and whispering his name the night they'd had sex. He'd even made sure to hold Steve through the worst of his first time, asking him gently whether or not he should pull out, or if he wasn't ready.
A tear slips down his cheek at the now sour memory.
"Then what was it? Is this town too small for you, Mr California? Not enough clueless hick town boys for you to fuck huh?"
Billy takes a menacing step forward and grabs him by the neck. "You're awfully close but no dice, " he snarls, "Unlike you, I actually got into college, so, I'm leaving. You think I want to stay stuck in this backwater town with some nobody who slings ice-cream for a living?"
Steve fights the strong grip, breaking it and taking a heaving step back, shudders wracking through his body. His breath comes out ragged, and pulls back in with a sob.
"What are you saying?" he mutters softly, too afraid to shout or even get angry, because that'll only make Billy leave faster. It always makes them leave.
Billy grunts, "Jesus Christ you want me to spell it out for you? I'm done, Harrington. We're done."
But Steve shakes his head, tears already falling silently from his eyes. His goddamn heart was in his throat.
"You can't do this..." he chokes, feeling sick to his stomach.
"Why can't I?" Billy growls, his face dry and emotionless.
"Because we-" Steve hisses but is cut off by an unexpected cry. He didn't have the strength to say those words right now- couldn't.
Too bad Billy had caught on anyway. "Because we what? Had sex a few days ago? Jesus Harrington, didn't take you for such a pussy. It was just a mindless fuck, didn't think you'd take it to heart. I'm not actually some fucking faggot like you."
Steve shakes his head, "Why are you doing this to me?" he sobs, feeling utterly betrayed.
Every part of his body felt betrayed right now- every single part of him that he'd let Billy touch, kiss and sink his teeth into. A sharp pain stabs him in the chest and then slowly sinks in all the way to his gut. It feels permanent, yet somehow like a terrible dream that he can't seem to wake up from.
Billy turns to leave and he doesn't have the strength to hold him back. Just watches him go through blurry eyes, body shaking with the massive effort it takes to keep from falling to his knees.
"Wheeler was right about you; you're bullshit Harrington."
Steve's knees only hit the floor when the Camaro rumbles off into the distance.
...............
Hardened blue eyes glare back at him from the rearview mirror.
The only sense of accomplishment he felt was that he'd finally put some distance between the monster in his head, and the one thing he loved more than life itself.
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fifteenskies15 · 4 years
Text
Ad Meliora
(Towards Better Things)
(Rengoku Kyojuro)
Summary: He's gone, but not forgotten by his beloved children... And with his memories within you and your children you move towards the better things
Admin's Note: No words, but filled with memory lane(?) But hopefully this is good enough (Artwork did not belong to me)
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"Mom/Dad, how do I look?" Asahi said as he put on your late husband's robe, you looked at the robe is bigger than him, it looked like a kimono instead of robe (or a cape), and when you look closely, Asahi looked like his father every second he grow up and somehow it brings tear in your eyes, you don't know if you were crying in happiness or you're crying because you're still mourning of his death which is also today is the day.
"It looks good on you, Asahi..." You say trying to hold back your tears, you smiled at him and ruffled his hair "You looked valiant just like..."
You choked on your words and tears threatened to spill out.
"I look like dad, didn't I?" He said tilting his head, you smiled and nodded and hugged him, "You do, you looked a lot like him" Asahi just smiled gently, despite the fact that he's a child, he knows you're still mourning over his father's death.
The child could feel a dampness on the robe he's currently wearing, and you hold him tighter as if he's your lifeline
...As the matter of fact, he is.
"Mother/father..." His small hand caress your back to calm you, you parted away from him slowly as you wiped your tears away and give him a smile though it didn't reach your eyes "I'm okay now, Asahi, go change your clothes now"
Asahi just nod and hang the robe as he went to change his clothes, you stood up and look at your armoire and took out a plain black kimono and took off the ones you currently wear, you looked at your reflection in the body length mirror.
...Ah
This mirror actually witnessed one of your fondest memories.
"Kyojuro do you think I look good in this? I really want to went all out in our wedding anniversary but I'm not sure now..."
"My dear, how could you say that?! You look amazing in everything! Even you could pull off a potato sack just fine"
"Kyojuro!!"
You smiled to yourself but your smile falter as you remember that it's only memories now...
You shook your head and finish dressing up, you sat down and looked at yourself in vanity mirror and brush your hair
... Memories flooding back once again
"I really love brushing your hair, (name)"
"Hehehe, I wonder why"
"How could I not? It's soft, like a cloud, only the difference is that it's closer and mine"
Tears welled up in your eyes, you wipe it away and finish styling your hair
"Mother/father..."
You look through your shoulder and to see little Hinagiku holding a plate of baked sweet potatoes you smiled and beckon her closer, she smiled and sit down next to you "Hey mother/father, do you think Dad will love this baked sweet potatoes?"
You smiled and gently stroke her hair "He will like it, anything you made are one of his favorites" Hinagiku giggled "Hehe, Uncle Senjuro is the one who cook it!" You raised your eyebrows at her "Oh really? But you're the one who picked those sweet potatoes, right?" Hinagiku just smiled bashfully before put the plate aside and lay her head on your lap, you stroked her golden hair.
"I hate the demon that took Dad away from us..."
You sighed and keep stroking her hair "Me too, dear... Me too..."
That damned Akaza...
"Mother/father, I wish that I and Asahi nii would grow up fast and kick that demon's butt!"
"Hinagiku, language!"
She giggled and apologize "Sorry mother/father..."
Make a mental note to steer her and her brother away from Sanemi or Obanai...
"But I don't like it... Mother/father, why are demons so cruel?" She ask looking up at you with wide and innocent (E/C) eyes.
The answer is easy, they're created to be heartless and have no idea what feelings and emotion are...
But since Nezuko...
...
"Some demons are born purely evil, some of them changed because hatred and rage, but some of them are actually nice and become one because they were forced to..."
"There are nice demons too?"
You nod
"Maybe only few, but your father seems to befriend one" you say smiling at her, Hinagiku's mouth went perfectly 'O'
"Wait, father befriended a demon??"
You both looked at Asahi dressed up in black, he seems intrigued as he sit next to Hinagiku, you chuckled at him "Yes and when the time is right, you both could meet her"
"Cool..."
"I really want to met her right away"
You smiled then stood up and your children did too, "Now then, let's pick some flowers for him"
"Okay, mother/father!"
----
"Mother/father, what kind of flower do you think Dad loves?"
Right, Kyojuro never told you if he like certain flower.
But... At least you knew what reflects him "I don't know but let's take some tiger Lily..." You smiled and picked some of it "Tiger Lily??"
"It symbolize pride and positivity..." You smiled as you look at how vibrant the color is "Just like your father" they smiled and took some of them
"What's next??"
You carefully pick a red Iris "red Iris... Just like our souls burn as we remember him" you say as you sniff the fragrant scent of the flower
"And then, and then??"
You smiled and pick a red chrysanthemum
"Red chrysanthemum... For love, just like our love for him" you looked at Hinagiku with a smile on your face
"And...the flower is also came from his beloved daughter's name"
Hinagiku tilted her head in adorable way and pointed at herself as in saying "Me?", You chuckled at her "I'll tell you when we see him" you say smiling and tie the flowers into a bouquet.
"Now let's see him, everyone"
----
You finally reach the small hill where his headstone is there's some flowers from his comrades, you sit down as your children follow, Hinagiku put the plate on his headstone
"Hello dad, I came here with your favorite food, I hope you like it"
You smiled at her as you and Asahi put the flowers on it, Asahi smiled at the headstone "Now it makes it look beautiful, dad..."
You sit down and take a deep breath
"It's been a while, Kyojuro... Look at our children now...Asahi and Hinagiku have grow into a fine children"
Asahi grinned proudly and Hinagiku just smiled shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "and everyone has been good, Kamado, Tomioka, Kocho, Kanroji, Obanai, Tokito, everyone and even Oyakata-sama is doing well..." You closed your eyes and sighed "...Father...well he's still drinking but I'm sure he'll be okay, matter of fact, I think he's doing better now, and Senjuro he's very well too"
Your children scoots closer, holding you with their small hands, you smiled at them and hold them closer.
"Things haven't change a lot, we still fight for our lives, peace and aiming to be the best..." You absentmindedly stroke their hair "I'm doing my best too, I still manage to go on mission and taking care the kids, I want to be around when they need me"
Asahi smiled and snuggled up at you "Mother/Father always manage time for us, and we're happy"
Hinagiku smiled and nodded "Even though she/he ditched mission once"
"Hey, you know I can't just leave you, I would be a bad parent if I didn't" they just laughed "We know mother/father, but you had one job"
"Oh, Asahi..." You shook your head and chuckled at him.
"Hey mother/father, you promised to tell me why you named me Hinagiku"
"Oh! I wanted to know why you and Dad named me Asahi"
You smiled and looking wistful, remember the moment they born, when you/the surrogate mother gave birth to them.
"Ah, where to start... Asahi, when I was pregnant with you/before you were born, we were discussing so many names, we're thinking on naming you Homura, Hitori and even after the sun God, Lady Amaterasu! And when we thought you're a girl, we thought of naming you Rekka or Miho"
"But I'm a boy, Mother/father"
You chuckled at him "We won't know whether baby inside the belly is boy or girl or even twins until they're born, Asahi and well, when I gave birth to you/your surrogate gave birth to you, you born right on the sunrise so that's why we named you Asahi, which means the sunlight and the morning sun..."
You smiled at the moment when he was born
"He's beautiful, Kyojuro..."
"He is, he got your beautiful eyes and smile...what should we call him, my dear?"
You looked at the blissful morning sun and smiled "Asahi... Because he's born as the sun rise and as night turn into morning..."
Kyojuro smiled "Asahi... Rengoku Asahi..." He smiled and hold the baby close to him as he smiled and snuggled up to his father's chest "Yes, it suits him, here's to hope that one day he will shine brighter than the sun itself..."
"Mother/Father...?" Hinagiku's voice drag you away from your memories and wiped your tears "I'm okay..."
"Wow... So that's why you guys named me with the name...cool!" He smiled and literally shining with pride, you smiled at him "Yes you are, you brighten everyone's day, just like the sun"
"Oh, oh! What about me?"
You smiled at her then the red chrysanthemum "Before you're born we're also thinking on naming you like Kaguya, Hinata, and even Himawari... But you were born in the middle of Autumn and the day you were born, the chrysanthemum flowers are blooming, one of them catches us in particular, it has a flaming and vibrant color of red, and so... We decided to name you Hinagiku... Which means "the flaming chrysanthemum" you're as delicate as the flower but your determination and soul burn bright like the flame, and you know when you mess with fire prepared to be burnt no matter how small or big the flame is"
Hinagiku looked at you in awe as she smile in pride "Wow... that's amazing..."
And you remember the day she was born
"She's really beautiful, I could swore she could put all beautiful flower in shame" Kyojuro said as he cradled his infant daughter, you chuckled at him "And when she grows up, she had so many men and women lining up for her..."
"I cannot argue with that, but they must know if they break her heart..."
"at ease now, husband... She's still a baby"
"Ah, I'm sorry...well...what should we name her?"
His eyes catch the most beautiful chrysanthemum he ever seen and it shines right in the middle of morning sun
"What about Hinagiku? She might be small but someday soon she will grow up with a flaming passion like the fire and... Her beauty is like that flower over there" he says nodding at the chrysanthemum, you smiled and nodded "It suits her and I love it"
Kyojuro smiled as she saw Hinagiku open her eyes for the first time, she gave her father a toothless smile and cooed "Rengoku Hinagiku... I swear to myself, you're going to be a strong and beautiful woman that walked in the Earth..."
You were crying now the moment when your children are born and when he's with you get you emotional, your children hugged you as you could feel them crying too
"Mother/father, please don't cry, i-if you're crying we're crying t-too..."
"Yeah, i-i'm a boy and I shouldn't cry! I'm a man and men don't cry!"
You wiped your tears and kissed their foreheads "Oh no, I'm so sorry for crying...and Asahi, It's okay to cry, crying doesn't make you weak, it's a proof you have emotion, something that demons lack... Something that will make you stronger"
Asahi smiled and wiped his tears "Yes mother/father"
"and I'm also crying because you and Dad give us a beautiful name, I'm glad that I'm born as your daughter" Hinagiku said hugging you tighter as Asahi did the same "Me too, I'm glad I have parents like you and Dad"
You smiled at them and hold them closer to you "They say names are prayer, and we hope you two grow beautifully just like we hoped for..." You smiled and put your hand on the headstone "Kyojuro, my love, did you hear that? Our children is growing up just like we hoped for...and it's all thanks to you you're the best father they had, I too will try my best to be a good mother/father for them"
Tears fallen like raindrops from your (E/C) eyes as your children also cried and did the same by putting their small hand on the headstone
"Dad, I promise I will protect mother/father and Hinagiku from any harm!! I will become strong like you! And I will never give up, watch me protect them, dad!!"
"Dad... I'm not strong like you, mother/father or Asahi nii, but I won't give up! I will be a strong woman!! I will avenge you side by side with mother/father and Asahi, please watch over us"
You smiled and all choked up, you really had a wonderful children...
The three of you part your hand and stand up to leave "I loathe to say it, but we must go... Kyojuro...my dear, we will come back soon, for now please rest, we will do better than today and bring peace to this land, when the time comes, we will join you..."
You sobbed and held your children hand "until then..."
"See you soon, dad...we miss you"
"Yeah, we miss you a lot..."
You turn to leave but stopped for a while and looked back
"...We love you, Kyojuro..."
The wind swayed the peach blossom tree gently, you smiled and teared up a bit as you could hear his faint voice
"I love you all too...and don't forget to set your heart ablaze, my children and my beloved wife/husband..."
----
Admin 15: I'm not gonna lie, I cried when I wrote this ಥ╭╮ಥ (admin looking at Kyojuro in her phone) Kyojuro, my man you deserve better (╥﹏╥)
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akane171 · 2 years
Text
A non-Clark-y Kara would have been so badass 😂 In the comics and e.g. Young Justice she did always come across as the "tougher" of the two...🤔 Ohh, imagine what those Karamel dynamics could have been like🤣🤣 (Tho their idiotic-arguing-puppy-love is just heartwarming 😂) 
Oh, I'm not even gonna argue. I love Kara, but this is one argument on which iI will NEVER even slightly agree with her. I mean, you already pionted out more than enough points for why, but the fact she didn't bother any other alien (e.g. from the alien bar) about how they're selfish for not superheroing or that she didn't consider she herself spent all but what? A year? on earth without superheroing and even Kal/Clark didn't always just makes her whole point pathetic... Same with the Jeremiah situation when once again Mon was made out as wrong and bad for what? Being right? Being cautious? Just no. And nobody ever apologized!!!😑
I don't get what they have against Kara being in therapy anyway, like Young Justice spent a whole episode giving the Heroes therapy sessions to deal with their trauma/traumatic experience...  
Ohhh, but what could warrant her staying forever?🤔
Ohhh 😱😍😭 I'm not sure whether to be happy of having a karamel godkid (you do realize you just sent me into a terrible downward spiral of "What does he look like? What is he like? Is he more like Kara or more like Mon or their perfect like mix? HOW DID HE DIE? I MUST PROTECT LITTLE PRECIOUS KARAMEL CHILD!", right?😅😂 I NEED ANSWERS!!) or to go sit in the corner and bitterly cry over his death...
And no, I definitely DO want to hear about Mon and Lan's deaths and how Maya reacted! I NEED to know 😭😭😭  
NOOO, write theeeeeemmm😭 You can't just drop all this heartbreak and not write and fix it!😭😭 (Just to clear up: I'd never wanna force you into anything at all ofc, so when I say sth like this, I'm just whining, don't feel forced to do anything🙈)
 Haha, nah, it's fine anyway😁 Always good to have a bunch of book recommendations lying around for whenever I finally have time for it again☺ 
I'll give you a million tragic high-fives😂 And Yup, we're pretty much screwed by definition😅 (Tho, to be fair, in "The Mortal Instruments" I got attached to kinda two side characters(one a badass immortal warlock and one a cool shadowhunter) who did end up together, and even have their own spin-off which inlucdes them adopting two Kids! So that was a non-screwed over (homosexual) couple😁💃🏻) 
Ohh, wait, which ones do you mean in Naruto?🤔 
Yeah, esp. the absorption thing was sooooo awesome, poor Lydia finally got a break from announcing death😅 And yes, Parrish was so underrated and underused anyway... It's like they just literally forgot about him and the fact that they know a hellhound...🙈 Would have been awesome to see him save the day instead of Scott winning against everyone and everything cause freaking plotarmor...😩 (It's ridiculous he defeated people like Deucalion or Peter...)
HAHAHA, Greenberg calling him Bobby would have been the BEST SCENE EVER!!!😍😂🤣
I already put Lightbringer on the list😂 Ohhh, nice rule, but I doubt I'd manage that without abandoning everything else in life😂 Just reading a little is not possible for me, if I start the book, you can be sure I'll be done with it in 3 days at most😂 (Tho at least I get my Daily dose of fanfics, which does usually derail many of my to-do-plans or sleep schedule too, but hey, "less" than normal bookd🤷🏻‍♀️😅)
Haha, Thanks, not even sure how many exactly I'm still waiting for... There's stuff that hasn't updates since 2013 or so, so... Let's really not talk about this😅😭😂
Yeah, it's probably an unspoken anime fan rule😂 Tho hey, at least you're not my level of stupid about it and try to draw realistic stuff too😅 I'm pretty sure I owe Chris Wood at least 5 apologies for the terrible attempts I made at drawing him😅🙈🙈
HAHAHAHA, yess, that's a good way of going about it😂 Tho, tbh, while I love ranting about articles, they do very much so have their purpose and using the wrong one does indeed make a big difference at times🤔 But they're still terrible😉😂
Ah yes, the good ol' days of RTL2 and Pokito 🤔😍😊 Back when they spent at least 12 hours a day with animes etc😂 And well, I mean, animes do tend to be rather obvious about what's going on even if you don't understand anything🤔 
Yup, side character fics are so freaking hard to get by... Just saaaaaaadddd😭😭😭
Ohhh, sounds like more than just dissapointment😅 I mean, I didn't exactly like the end or the way they made the later half of Naruto either, but what exactly was your major point of dissapointment? (Still my biggest problem was how they just nerved Naruto and Sasuke and the villains to god level and made everyone else pathetic, useless bystanders😅🤷🏻‍♀️🙈)
Haha, yess, weirdos for winners💃🏻
PS: ☺🙈🙈
XXXXXXX
Yeah, maybe we are getting that version in the movie. Still, probably not going to watch.
Hmm, interesting how their interaftions would look like. For sure she would quite quickly threw Lena's ass into the sun and feel zero remorese about it. But with Mon-El? Hmm.
Annoyed but intrigued or interested? Finally someone who remembered her planet and people and I don't think she would have been as butthurt about him being the prince. But... interesting idea for a fic, lol
And you know the BEST thing? She became a superhero when she was liek what, 24? ONLY becasue Alex was in danger. But well, hypocrisy was one of her character flaws.
I think Mon suffered from the "oh, no, Kara can;t apologize or admit she was wrong, especially to him". Anotehr funny thing is that's the SAME thing they had done to Alex and Kara. How many times Kara was right, but Alex screamed and didn't apologize?
Because oh she is oh so strong woman and doesn't need it. What is funny again, because thye have spent wasting time on some super dumb so called important eye-opening stuff and couldn't have spared one ep about mental health. Interesting, right?
That depends on my mood xD Because you know, as much as I like Danvers sisters I see their bond as problematic and it was never really approached. So, for example Kara deciding she needs to stay by Alex's side becasue uwu, life is brutal, she needs to three-wheeling her and her family for entire life and blah blah. What would BE CANON.
No. Becasue in the end I will want to write whole fic, so no ==' As I said, I'm the queen of unwritten angst, not written. But I can assure you, all my ideas are heartbreaking. For example mxy showing her all the scenes from her future life and all what happened, because she can't believe she just left her family etc. MUHAHAHAH
Errrm, is this malec ship? Becasue it sounds like them and I kind of know some of the stuff from Shafowhunters from the gifs on tumblr XD HAPPY FOR YOU!
Naruto, sigh. Funny stroy, in the begining i liked SasuxSaku but with time and how the story unfold, i started hated them. I really liked Sasuke and imo, he should have or died honorable death or stayed asexual and with no fam. Last Uchiha, no more curse and more people hunting for them. End of story. And seriosuly, I hate the "big breasted fangirl gets the dude and becomes the perfect waifu aka wet dream of every dude in Japan" (a big generalization, but you get my point). That's why I hate IchiHime ==' tbh, the same goes for NaruHina, but whatever.
Maybe they will fix things in the movie..... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I don't mind Scott, maybe he was not my fave character but was not bad... as for a typical teen kinda-superhero.
We would finally see Greenberg! And the conspiracy theory aka Greenberg being Bobby's halluciation or imaginery student would be clear xD
Hey, fics are in a lot of cases better than published books! I wouold ask you to go to sleep at a normal hour, but I do the same shit iwth books so xD
I like to swallow books like that... unless I get to a problematic part and I suspecty next things are going to destroy me xD so then sometimes I leave it for a few days... or months... sometimes years xD
Gurl TT All of my fave Gundam SEED fics are not finished TT ... oh wait, there is one mine that is not finished, oops
It's not stupid, it's how we learn, right? For example I stopped drawning alsmot in 100% but I like coloring books with pencils.
SO GO AND DRAW CHRIS!
Articles (in any language) will never make sense to me, so I bow to the queen *bows*
RTL2 was my wormhole to anime world xD with bad internet connection and almost no anime in Polish tv, it felt like heaven. Still my dad was always pissed off when he caught me watching, but well, typical anime fan's life xD
Sad high five. We are doomed *satres into the void*
You kow, the typical shounen stuff - from zero to god level, saving the world from apocalypsis, power of friendship, sometimes I really want the good guys losing. And well, the ships at the end - geeeeeeeeeez. Minus ShikaTema all were dissapoiting. Or maybe I'm salty after what they have done to Jiraya and Tsunade, who knows. And as I said, everything about Sasuke. Just. No.
YEEEHAAAAAAAAAAW!
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Your meta on Murphy's moral development made me wonder: how do you think we're supposed to reconcile Murphy's reaction to Jaha's throwing Craig into the water with his reaction to Emori having the unnamed grounder put in the radiation tube? I know they're not exactly the same, Jaha abusing a position of power and trust whereas Emori was an outsider acting out of fear, but Murphy was initially going to speak to Clarke about those fears, and it was still ultimately the death of an innocent person.
Great question! Sorry, this ended up being very long because I think there’s actually a few things going on there. (Partly, of course, that it’s just a darker/more backslidey moment in Murphy’s arc.)
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1. There is the Jaha/Emori difference you mentioned – the fact she is powerless and this is a pattern of her protecting herself out of necessity, whereas Jaha was the self-appointed Leader and Messiah Guy, so it’s a much different pattern for him.
And really the whole sea-monster situation was… kind of analogous but kind of not. He knew Emori was terrified that she, specifically, was going to be sacrificed (regardless of whether Murphy totally believed that yet or not). There was something inevitable about *somebody* going in that machine by the time it happened. (And it’s! the Griffins! who did that! They’re as much the Jaha as the sea monster in this situation, tbh.) Whereas Jaha was the one who dragged them all into danger to begin with, and it was a scarily sudden turn from them all being in the same boat (literally!) to Jaha making the choice to sacrifice one of them.
(Plus Murphy’s been onboard for murder like ALL DAY already in “Gimme Shelter”, so there’s already less shock about it happening, only about the reason behind it.)
2. But I actually think a bigger difference here is Craig and not!Baylis. You mention that they were both innocents, but that’s… not completely true? Don’t get me wrong here – *absolutely neither of them deserved to die*, and certainly not as horrifically as they did. But I would argue that, especially from Murphy’s POV, Craig was much, much more of an innocent victim. He knew him. He may have actually been younger than Murphy, or at least close to his age. He was part of the pilgrimage group, presumably because he trusted and believed in Jaha at some point. He hadn’t done anything except freeze up when the creature attacked. Between him and Jaha (and Murphy for that matter), Craig was probably the *most* innocent person there. And Murphy may be evolving a lot, but he still really doesn’t like unfairness.
The dude they got microwaved to death was not the evil abusive monster Emori said he was, but he DID nearly stab her to death before Murphy and Clarke came to her rescue. He’s a thief/scavenger/murderer and that’s what Emori *also is*, but that puts them on equal kill-or-be-killed footing at least. If Emori had killed him in self-defense, or not stopped Murphy from bashing his head with the cutting board (lol), they probably would not have lost any sleep over that.
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So I do think that’s a factor in Murphy not really caring what happened to him. If at the *very least* he gave Emori that bruise on her head, then fuck that guy, he should’ve known who he was messing with. :p His reaction might have been different if it was some totally innocent villager or something. It would *definitely* be different if it was someone Murphy knew and felt sympathy for, I think.
3. ALSO. I think Murphy in a weird way is more accepting of Emori ‘cause she’s just… openly trying to save her own skin. She’s upfront about that and doesn’t try to morally justify it the way that Jaha does constantly – immediately talking about destiny and “sacrifice a few for the many.” Murphy has never been down with that, because he has often been at the bottom of the which-few-get-screwed-over side. (Literally jump one episode later to his reaction when Clarke says she’s “trying to save us” as justification for testing Emori, because IT SURE DOES NOT FEEL LIKE EITHER OF THEM ARE GETTING SAVED.) Emori’s speaking more to a worldview that he gets, and there’s no pretense or superiority-complex going on.
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4. Honestly, separating the whole thing from morality for a minute? Jaha killing Craig made Murphy also feel unsafe in a way that Emori’s actions didn’t. I’m not saying he wasn’t also Judging Him, but there’s an element of Murphy just being done with any faith he had in Jaha. (And the last nail in that coffin is when he abandoned him in the bunker soon after.) He’s certain if it had just been the two of them, Jaha would’ve thrown him over.
He certainly *could have* responded that way to Emori also – because she had fooled him too and maybe it should’ve made him a little more uneasy how remorseless she was about the whole thing – but he still wholeheartedly trusts her. They would not betray *each other*, they’re still on the same team.
5. Finally, duh: Murphy is very, very attached to Emori in a way he hasn’t been with other people. And when faced with her doing something fucked-up, maybe he’s just a little bit of a hypocrite and willing to bend his developing moral compass. ;p That was honestly a dynamic in season 4 that I enjoyed, because Emori brings out a lot of good and loving qualities in Murphy, but he can also be vicious in his protectiveness of her. His willingness to throw Echo under the bus in “The Chosen” even after she saved them like 40 seconds ago is a sign of this too. That’s ALSO A MOMENT where my heart went “uh Murphy I thought you were better than this” and canon was like…
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I agreed with people when 4x07 aired who felt like Murphy was unsure how to react for a moment to the Baylis reveal, and in the pause he sort of *decided* to be okay with it. And even proud of her, like he would’ve done the same thing. (Even though he wouldn’t have necessarily. Like you said, he just wanted to talk to Clarke and straighten it out.) 'Cause at the end of the day Emori matters to him more than other people, so… he was on the same page with her there.
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mittensmorgul · 6 years
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Do you know of any instances in canon history where Dean's intuition has turned out to be wrong in a major way? Because it seems like we're going to start to see some answers to the "he was brainwashed" question since Jack flapped off and Dean still doesn't trust him.
Hrrrrm. This is a really difficult question, because like the Winchester Hunting Mindset, it’s not this black and white.
Like obviously of course he has and hasn’t, but extenuating circumstances. Context matters. Shades of grey, etc. etc.
Even all during s6 he fought against what his intuition was telling him about Cas, because he so wanted to believe in Cas. I mean, that’s a huge part of why he couldn’t forgive himself, or get over what Cas had done even by 7.17. He blamed himself for not pushing harder for answers, or maybe even for taking that whole year off with Lisa and trying to play normal
But aside from emotional overriding of what he’s got that bad feeling about, I can’t think of a single instance of his intuition being flat-out wrong.
Even in smaller ways, he’s typically right about the case stuff and Sam’s the doubter, but you specifically asked for if he’s been wrong in “a major way,” so I’m going to try and focus on The Big Issues. But again, the only instance I can think of right off the top of my head where he was stubbornly and blatantly wrong about a case was in 12.04– when he was absolutely convinced it was the social services lady who was a witch. Again, waves hello at Davy Perez, for absolutely nailing Dean’s immediate personal trauma and underscoring so many of his personal issues involving Mary’s fresh abandonment, his lifetime of likely run-ins with Family Services and well-meaning social workers, his parentification of Sam, his problematic relationship with John and the responsibility to hide the truth about their lives and protect Sam at all costs… which played right into the case they were working and colored his personal reactions. But again, extenuating circumstances…
Because of his personal issues with Mary and abandonment and the fact the social worker was openly admittedly a witch. Dean also got a very different impression of the family than Sam did (literally, he only had half the information to make his judgment on). He saw the father and son, the “happy families” side of the story where everything was presented to be done by their own choice, for positive family-bonding reasons in the wake of a personal tragedy. Meanwhile, Sam was in the house getting the skeevy third-person retelling of a first-person story by the mother, making it clear to us, who saw both sides of the story, that something was Definitely Fishy in that house. Meanwhile, all Dean could see after that encounter was that Sam had a bizarrely antagonistic reaction to a conversation he could only assume was nearly identical to the one he’d had outside.
This stark division, the reminder that they’d both had an entirely different experience in their respective interviews and thus come away with entirely different theories about the case, is highlighted as soon as they leave. Rather than sharing the reasons for their vastly different impressions and trying to figure out WHY they were given two entirely different impressions of this family, they each stubbornly stick to their guns. That was the entire POINT of this episode, on a meta level. And this lack of communication and understanding of the other’s entirely different experience and viewpoint and insight, Sam’s entirely unprepared for the entire family to be “in on the secret” and Dean’s bowled over to discover the social worker was nothing like she’d appeared to be on the surface.
And as soon as he saw the other side of the story, he instantly figured it out
So that’s the one glaring exception to Dean’s instinct, and it essentially works as an “exception that proves the rule,” because of the meta nature of the reasons he was “wrong” about the social worker.
That brings me to Dean’s role in the overarching narrative of the entire series. He’s the emotional POV for the audience. We’re supposed to ride along with him and even when he’s wrong he’s right. I know this bothers some people, and for some this is a major reason that they just don’t like Dean as a character. But most of the time, he’s the barometer for how the audience is supposed to react and feel and interpret the entire narrative.
We know Dean lies professionally, and is therefore an unreliable narrator, but we’re also given to understand that we’re still supposed to be “on his side” because he’s our emotional POV.
Whether he’s 100% right about Jack puppeting Cas or not doesn’t matter to me, so much as Dean’s reading of it being presented as the correct reading. Whether Jack meant to or not or whatever… (and we have ample evidence that most of what happens with his power is not something he does consciously, but that doesn’t mean he’s not subconsciously doing this stuff anyway), Dean’s read was the presented “main” reading and the events seemed to match it.
But I would argue Dean’s less right than 100%, but not more than 50% wrong. (the 50% being powers vs Jack himself doing it, i.e. the bit he’s partly “wrong” about is his assumption of any sort of intent on Jack’s behalf) and there will be a REASON he is wrong if he is which would necessarily justify his reading.
The fact that DEAN believed in the sock-puppeting, and the fact that JACK believes that it was a possibility, is what’s led directly to Jack’s current dilemma
Now that Cas is back, and he and Dean can finally (as he said in 12.23) “work through our crap,” theoretically he’ll be able to talk with Cas about all of that and try to understand Cas’s motives between 12.19 and 12.23. Unfortunately, Cas is also not objectively placed to talk about it, since it happened TO him and his emotional attachment to Jack /now/ is again a separate thing.
I fully believe he would have formed those same bonds with Kelly and unborn Jack in BETTER circumstances. Even if he’d gone back to the bunker with Sam and Dean as he’d already consented to do before the events at the sandbox. Arguably, it would’ve been a much safer and secure place for Jack to have been born, and for Dean and Sam to have come to understand the larger circumstances at play here.
As it is, Jack or his powers just made it happen for sure. Because of Dean’s stated concern that Cas wasn’t under his own control there, it renders anything Cas would have to say about it moot, because we can’t trust his objectivity. Because of Dean’s stated pov opinion on it.
Cas’s innate goodness and kindness vs his issues with protecting people/being a guardian angel/wanting a win all would lead him to care for Jack, and to feel responsible for caring for Jack, even if Jack’s powers hadn’t become a mitigating factor. I mean that’s why Kelly “picked him” to be Jack’s guardian in the first place. She (or Jack’s power) could plainly see Cas’s “goodness” in direct contrast to Dagon’s “badness.” He was even wavering about his orders to kill Kelly and Jack a few times IN 12x19, but he got pushed over the edge hard. This was not a gentle nudge or a moment of genuine character realization.
In the span of one glowy-golden-eyed sock puppeting (and that part is NOT up for debate, Jack’s power literally took Cas’s hand and used him to destroy Dagon), he went from “Jack must die and go to heaven before he’s born” to “Jack must be born with all his power at all costs” with no logic in between. We didn’t see his process on screen, and "he’s powerful enough to make me zap a knight of hell" is not good enough reasoning.
This was arguably the first instance of Jack’s power trying to do something good (killing Dagon) while having drastically unanticipated consequences (Joshua’s death, Dean being injured, the Colt being destroyed, and Cas abandoning his stated mission to take Kelly to Heaven so that Jack could be born with all his power). His power had already resurrected Kelly and thereby saved Jack, and that had caused cosmic alarm bells to ring in Heaven, providing the homing beacon Kelvin used to locate Kelly in the first place.
If anything it should be more concerning that he has that much power before he’s ever born. That firmly demonstrated his self-defensive instinct that we’ve seen trigger his power repeatedly since he’s been born.
After his power ~does the thing~ he doesn’t even seem to understand that he’d done anything. Like waking Cas up in the empty. Or the fact that his power resurrected Kelly when she’d killed herself, and yet he has no concept that he probably could’ve resurrected the guard he’d accidentally killed in 13.06 in the same way. Jack still is in a stage where he has to WANT to do things and I think understanding the guard is dead was too final to realize he COULD bring him back.
He seems to just ~do stuff~ with his power, not realizing it, and then later once he realizes he CAN, he attempts to do it deliberately– like the whole “throw people around” thing he seems to have perfected so he can do it without killing the rest of TFW at the end of the episode. I mean, the previous time he’d pulled that trick led to the circumstances he was terrified would happen ~without him intending harm~ but being unable to stop it from happening anyway. And yet he still did the Force Throw thing.
Then again, his INTENT when he was throwing that power at Dave the Ghoul was to kill/maim/injure… but he clearly has a lower setting on it and wasn’t afraid to use it on Sam, Dean, and Cas before flapping off, immediately after stating his reasoning for leaving being his desire NOT to hurt them…
He’s so highly conflicted about his OWN relationship with his powers that HE HIMSELF thinks of them as a tool and not inherently a part of himself. Right now his powers are literally acting like the man behind the curtain, and everything Dean’s witnessed with his own eyes has confirmed his initial impression that Jack’s powers are Not Trustworthy.
Over the course of the first six episodes of the season, Dean’s gotten to know Jack //the human person// outside of his powers, and seen what he was struggling with, his self-loathing and self-doubt and fear and confusion, and knowing that Jack’s powers may have set up the circumstances that led to Cas dying but also led directly to Cas coming back… well, that proved Jack’s intent was good, but still doesn’t clear up the whole “my power does what it wants and damn the consequences” issue that brought them to this point in the first place.
It’s rather a moot point if it ever really had been true or not before 13.04, but Dean’s BELIEF that it was true influenced Jack’s belief about whether or not it was true, which led directly to Jack “calling out” for Cas in the Empty… sort of proving the mechanism by which his power acts without his conscious control, and extends a TERRIFYING amount of influence into realms were even God has no power to act. And he does it all without it even registering to him. So in that respect, yeah, Dean’s 100% right.
He’s right because that’s the function of his POV within the narrative itself. And again, I know that has the potential to piss people off, and it’s kind of a hard fact to swallow sometimes, but unless the narrative explicitly proves Dean’s intuition wrong, we’re supposed to trust Dean’s assertions. And so far I’ve seen nothing to contradict this one.
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fallen029 · 7 years
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Boring
"Do you and Laxus love one another?"
Mira blinked. Then she gave her sister a bemused look. "What?"
"Do you," she repeated as she continued to idly sweep up around the hall, "and Laxus love one another?"
"W-Well, I don't-"
"It's just a question, Mira. And I figured it wouldn't be that hard for you to answer." Then sneering, if only a bit, Lisanna added, "You have been together, like, nearly two years."
"Nearly," Mira agreed as she continued to count out the money in the register, "but not quite."
"Surely it's come up."
"Surely."
"I mean-"
"What's this about, Lisanna?" Mira glanced her way. "Because you know that Laxus and I are very serious, if that's what you mean."
"It's not, but thanks."
"I'd really like to not talk about this right now."
"Oh, Mira, he's in his office." Lisanna even rolled her eyes. "He can't hear us."
Oh, but he could. Not only with the guildhall completely empty did their voices echo, but also his dragon senses could center in on anything if he tried. Which was rather easy at the moment, eavesdropping on them, given that he wasn't really doing anything. He'd finished up for the night and was mostly waiting for his girlfriend to finish so he could walk her and her little sister home.
It wasn't necessary, of course, as honestly there was no one that he could fight off that the she-devil couldn't, but it was just something that he always found himself doing. Mirajane, after all, was very important to him.
And Lisanna too, sure, yeah. He'd stick around after closing for her too on the rare occasions he was up at the hall and Mirajane wasn't. Other than the fact it was his job, she was a pretty big reason he still came to the place.
But out there in the bar area, Lisanna and Mirajane were none the wiser to this and only continued on with their conversation.
"Even still," Mirajane complained, "I don't-"
"So you don't?"
Huffing, just a bit, Mirajane said, "Yes. I love him."
"But he doesn't love you then?"
"Lisanna-"
"Oh, wow, I feel, like, so much better now." The younger Strauss even grinned. "I thought something was wrong with me and Bickslow or something. Because he hasn't said that to me and Natsu, like, tells Lucy that all the time, and here I was, getting ready to be broken up with, but we've only been together ten months. If you've been together for years-"
"Almost," Mira corrected, "years. Right now, just a year and a few months."
"A lot of months."
"Lisanna-"
"I mean, sheesh; I thought you guys were, like, such a serious couple."
"We are. We-"
"But if you can't even tell one another you love each other-"
"We can," Mira defended. "We just...don't. We're…too mature."
That got a pause. Even Laxus noticed it, back in the office where he was desperately looking for his headphones, as to use them to block out the women and avoid an accusation of eavesdropping.
"Mature," Lisanna repeated slowly. "You're mature. You and Laxus are mature."
"Yes," the other woman stifled. "Laxus is a guild master-"
"So is Sting and he's, like, about as mature as Natsu-"
"-and I've held the same job I've had since I was a teenager-"
"Again, so has Natsu."
"Lisanna, would you just-"
"I'm sorry. It's just funny." She even giggled. "This entire time, I've thought that the two of you were, like, super mushy behind the scenes. But this entire times, you're just as dull around one another when you're alone as you are up at the bar?"
"We're not dull."
"You are too! Every single time me and Bickslow go out with you guys, it's to the same, lame resturant so that you can argue over the same, lame things-"
"We don't argue over-"
"You always complain that he orders the same, unhealthy dinner and then he accuses you of eating the thing he orders anyways and then you get mad and accuse him of calling you unhealthy and then, after dinner, he'll buy you dessert to make it up for you. Sound familiar?"
Mira frowned. "It's not always the same dinner. Sometimes he gets pasta and sometimes he gets-"
"You can't be serious."
"And the only reason we always take the two of you there," Mira argued, "is because the two of you never want to buy your own meals. Laxus always has to pay for you. And that's just the cheapest place to go while it still being nice. So-"
"So you're saying that you guys go other places? On dates? When we're not with you?"
"W-Well, sometimes. But we really like it there-"
"Oh, sis."
"We do! And… Shut up, Lisanna."
"No. This is too funny. This entire time, we've all thought that you and Laxus were so in love, when, actually, you're both just bored with one another and don't know how to put your relationship out to pasture."
"Out to- That's so rude!"
Still, Lisanna only giggled. "You know I'm kidding. But honestly, Mirajane, not only will he not tell you that he loves you-"
"He can! We just don't need to...say things...like that-"
"-but you also are completely and utterly boring."
It was quiet out there, for a bit, and Laxus, back in the office, finally found his headphones, but didn't put them on. Just waited. Because his entire night, if not the rest of the week, would hinge on what Mirajane said next.
"We're not boring." And her tone was even. Not the least bit pissed off. "And if this whole thing is about whether or not Bickslow should tell you he loves you or if you should say it to him, no. That answers that. Now finish sweeping up; I'm almost done back here."
Great. Laxus fell back into his chair, there in the office, with a slump. So Mirajane was pissed off.
Perfect.
Stupid Lisanna.
And for the record, Mirajane and Laxus were not boring. They were just content in their relationship.
Was that a bad thing?
Huh?
No.
So there.
Laxus had managed to slip on his headphones before Mira appeared in the office a moment later, carrying the jewels from the register.
"You all finished up?" he asked, tone hopeful as she came over to his desk. He pretended not to stare too hard as she bent down in front of him to get to the safe underneath. "Demon?"
"Just about. Are you through with whatever you're doing in here?"
"Completely. Did you wanna-"
"I want to go home." And her tone wasn't nearly as jovial. "With you."
Which was either a wonderful thing or a completely damning one.
Mira gave him no tips to which it might be.
Lisanna was rather chatty with Laxus that night for some reason. She kept going on and on about the job that she'd just returned from with her brother and how much fun it was. And damn it, no matter how hard he tried, Laxus just couldn't stay mad at her. She was just so...cute. Like a little kid.
Which was the same attitude Mira usually had towards her and ended up with Lisanna walking all over the both of them. Anyone else claim that the relationship the dragon and demon had was stale and needed to be put down? He'd have decked 'em and she'd have chewed them out. Lisanna do it? Just go on blissfully as if it never occurred.
"You don't have to walk me the whole way, you know," Lisanna complained at one point, as she typically did, as Mirajane and Laxus even took to walking her down the street to the Strauss house where all three of the siblings seemed to be spending less and less time. "I'm not a child."
But neither Laxus nor Mirajane responded to this. Only made sure she got into the house before they departed for his apartment.
"I was looking at the budget for this month," Mira began as, with Lisanna gone, Laxus rested an arm around his demon's shoulders and glanced down at her, "and I think that we have enough for-"
"Mira, I told you, we're not painting the-"
"Why? Pink is a very good color. When I think Fairy Tail, I think pink."
"No." Shaking his head, he added, "We're saving the surplus up for when one of those idiots destroys the place again. Not to continue to spend it. You know how this place operates; we've got to keep all the jewels we can. It's not like it's not destroyed ever other week."
"I just think that pink is a great-"
"No."
Mira let out a long sigh while Laxus only glanced up at the clouds.
"They say it'll rain tomorrow," he told her, to which the woman only hummed. "I already finished up everything there possibly was to do at the hall today, so I think I'll push all of tomorrow's junk to the next day because if it is going to storm, then I want to go out and train in it. Soak up some lightning, yeah?"
"I'll pack you a lunch."
He tried hard not to be annoyed, though, "Mira," came out of his lips as a slight complaint.
"I am, so hush."
Heh.
Again, they fell into a comfortable silence. It was broken up only when Mirajane, who was still inwardly tumbling with what Lisanna had said not too long ago, glanced up at the slayer with a frown.
"Dragon?'
"Hmmm?'
"Are we boring?'
Laxus was a master at all things. Including feigning surprise. "What? What brought this on?"
Shrugging, Mirajane only said, "It just seems like we've been pretty bland recently."
"In what way?'
"I dunno," she sighed. "It's just, well, since the Master gave you the hall six months ago-"
"I," the slayer grumbled, "am the Master."
"Oh, dragon."
"I am."
"The point was," she complained, shaking her head at him, "that before you got the hall, you used to go out on S-Class jobs all the time and that gave us time away from one another and stories to talk about when we were back together. Now not only are you my boss, but was literally see one another every single day-"
"Na-ah." He even shook his head. "Like take tomorrow for instance; I'm going to go train and you'll be up at the hall, working."
"Laxus-"
"Plenty of stories abound."
"You're being difficult."
"And you're trying to make a big deal out of me not telling you that I love you."
"What?"
"What?"
And they stopped, there on the side of the road, to just stare at one another.
"I didn't say anything about… Were you eavesdropping on us?"
The slayer scoffed. "I would never..." Then he sighed. "You guys just talk so loud-"
"Laxus Dreyar-"
"If anything, I should be mad that you're gossiping on me behind my back."
Rolling her eyes, Mira turned and began to walk once more. "Come on. I have to open in the morning. I want to get home and go to bed."
Oh. So that's what they were doing back at the apartment. Sigh.
Laxus trailed along behind her. "It's just a really weird conversation to have with me right in the other room."
"Well, I didn't bring it up," Mira defended. "So-'
"Unless," Laxus continued, "it was your intention for me to overhear."
Mira made a face, even though he was behind her then. "In what world would I-"
"I dunno, demon. But if this was a problem, you could have just brought it up to me."
"Laxus-"
"'cause of course I love you, you stupid idiot."
Mira blinked, sensing him closer to her then, practically breathing down her neck. "I don't think that's usually how people say something like that."
"What? 'cause instead of because? I like to save on syllables."
"I meant calling me a stupid idiot. And that's not nice, you know." In fact, if it was anyone other than him calling her that, and without such sweet words preceding it, she might have been thrown into a round of tears.
"I know."
And that was that. Mira refused to glance over her shoulder at him and he seemed content then, with the entire thing. And though their original conversation, over whether or not they were boring, never properly got settled, neither seemed willing to bring it up.
At least not right then.
Back at the apartment, Laxus threw them together some late night sandwiches while Mirajane only prepared the hot water bottle for Laxus' back. He'd tweaked it, months ago, and it had been a pain since then. She frequently teased him that he was old because of it, but only lightly, given that he was so self-conscious about it that he hadn't even mentioned it to anyone other than her. Nightly, she'd make him lay with a hot water bottle on the middle of his back and soak in some ice at least once a week, but those only seemed to be immediate remedies.
Or he was just old. Mira was still pretty insistent on that one.
So that's how they found themselves, not much later, him stretched out on his side of the bed and her sitting with her legs crossed next to him, randomly ripping pieces from the sandwiches and feeding them to him. This was due to the fact that Laxus had that hot water bottle on his back and, for some reason, that meant he wasn't able to feed himself.
Neither was sure why that meant that, as his arms were still free, he was just lying on his stomach instead of his back, but it had been an unspoken rule between them since they started the hot water bottle treatment, and it was just going to stay. No argument.
"I love you too," Mira said suddenly as Laxus was silently debating whether or not he should mention that for some reason, she was only feeding him pieces with bread, lettuce, and tomato, but no meat. He understood why that would happen once more twice, but the entire time? That woman was cheating him. "Just so you know."
Swallowing (and wisely deciding to let the meatless thing go), Laxus only said, "Of course I know that, woman. I never doubted that. You're the one that needs confirmation about dumb things like that."
"I do not." Mira even gave him a look. "Lisanna's the one that brought it up. Not me."
"Hmm."
She practically shoved the piece of sandwich in his mouth that time. "I don't care if you believe me. It's the truth."
"Okay."
"I know how you feel about me."
"I believe you."
"And I'm… I'm happy with our boring relationship." Mira even gave a sharp nod. "Very happy. We're both very happy. So why over think it?"
Laxus shut his eyes then. "Your sister's a nut."
"Dragon, that's not nice."
"She is. Tryin' to say I should be put out to pasture."
"How well can you hear back in that office anyways?'
Laxus only let out a low moan. Then, softly, he added, "I'm thinking of going to a moose."
"A what?"
"A moose."
"A masseuse?"
"That's what I said. A moose."
"Just how far in life do you think you can get chopping off all these syllabubs, Lax? Because it's definitely not moose. It's masseuse."
Grumbling a bit, he said, "Whatever. My backs just killing me. Something's not right."
"Awe. Poor dragon."
"Poor me."
"Maybe we should ask Natsu."
That got his eyes open. "Do what now?"
"You know," she said around a bite of sandwich, "he has flaming hands. That should help. Maybe he could-"
"No. No way." Laxus shut his eyes again. "My moose would never be that loser."
"Okay, you don't have to keep saying the word moose now that you know it's not the word moose."
"I always knew."
"Oh, whatever."
"I just like saying it that way."
"I'm sure."
Again, there was only silence and, once the sandwich was done, Mirajane only got up to put the plate in the sink as well as get a glass of water. Laxus bottle was still warm, so she left it on his back before curling up in bed.
Alone in the darkness, they both just laid there for awhile before Laxus said, "It's not a joke, you know. To me. Our relationship. I do love you. Honestly."
"I know." She let out a soft breath. "Lisanna just caught me off guard."
Snort. "She just wanted confirmation that her relationship with Bickslow isn't absolute shit. Well, she didn't get it. Because it is. So-"
"How many of our conversations have you listened in on, dragon? Since apparently you heard tonight's so well?"
"I wasn't trying to."
"Hmm."
"And it definitely spiced up our, apparently, otherwise boring night. Right?"
"You have to admit that we don't really do much these days. Nothing exciting. Unless it has to do with Fairy Tail, our lives are pretty stagnant of late."
"Well, yeah, it's taken up a lot of my time and has always ate up yours, but we still do other things. We go out to eat all the time."
"I know."
"And, for the record, I love that restaurant."
"Me too," Mira agreed with a nod. "I mean, what you order-"
"Not tonight." He snuggled his head into his pillow. "Just not tonight."
Silence once more for a good ten minutes. Then, softly, Laxus whispered, "You up, demon?"
"Mmmm."
"Because, uh, I think that my hot water bottle is leaking and-"
"And you can't deal with it because-"
"Try because I'm injured."
"Oh, whatever."
Still, she got up to deal with it because that was just the way they were. And when she came back to him, Laxus only rolled over onto his back and let her cuddle right up to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her.
Returning her grin (to an extent), Laxus whispered, "We're just too real for your sister and her puny assumptions."
"Yeah." Mira kissed his chest. "I know."
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