#the eldest sister in fact
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Ooo Social workers rock!! They kinda failed me and my brother when we were younger (small town consequences) but there are so many good ones out there and I’m sure you’ll be absolutely amazing. That’s so cool and I hope it works out for you. Just know if you’re ever feeling undervalued in that field I value you and you work!
Also yeah I’m 100% just winging it. Idk what I’m doing, but I’m like not even old? I still have so much of life ahead of me, and while I am a bit scared I just have to trust myself.
-🧪
Aww, thank you so much! I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, it didn't work out for some of my family members and thats what really drove the decision for me.
I truly believe in you 🧪anon. I know that no matter what, you'll do fantastic in whatever career you choose. Like you said, you have so much life ahead of you. Live it to the fullest and trust your gut. It'll all work out eventually :)
#cinder rambles#🧪anon#can yall tell i'm an older sibling lmao#the eldest sister in fact#I literally have eldest daughter syndrome
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better than.
a/n: i fell in love with danmeshi over the weekend! i have so many thoughts and feelings about chilchuck and his wife and their daughters, so i wanted to write something about them.
i wish we knew her name! since there's no canon name for her (yet??? please! i'm manifesting), i gave her one mostly for ease of fic writing but also because i think she should have one haha.
fandom: dungeon meshi
pairing: chilchuck tims / chilchuck's wife
genre: angst, general
info: told from the perspective of the wife; she is named (junnimay); takes place pre-canon
warnings: might not be canon-compliant
synopsis: for the better, she comes to learn that moving with the tides of life is a mercy in itself.
word count: 3.3k
Chilchuck Tims / Chilchuck's Wife
The apple trees were starting to clothe themselves in pale pink blossoms, releasing a sweet fragrance into the air. Kahka Brud took it as a sign of the winter's end, shedding off the furs and double-lined coats of the coldest months, and so did Junnimay. Reaching for one of the thinner woollen cloaks hanging by the front door, she whispered, "I'll be back soon, Fler," to her still-sleeping daughter before setting out for an early morning walk.
A contrary breeze made it difficult for her to shut the door quietly, a rather unceremonious slam of wood against wood following a series of laboured grunts from her lips. Fler had always been able to sleep through even the most turbulent of autumn storms; a little noise a ways from her bed surely wouldn't stir her from her needed rest.
Junnimay wiped her palms down on her cloak even if they weren't sweaty, and she started on the unpaved path that led to one of the larger streets of Kahka Brud.
At the place where the narrow local paths merged into the cobblestone main street, she greeted the elderly gnome couple having breakfast in their front yard. The younger of the two women stopped her with a shout in Gnomish and then waved for her to come closer. She approached the line of potted miniature trees that formed a makeshift fence between the public walkway and the gnome couple's property, and the elderly gnome pressed a still-warm bun into her cupped hands.
With a smile, she thanked the women in Gnomish, biting into the bread and telling them how delicious it was before she continued down the main street. As she chewed on a particularly large cluster of candied orange peel bits in her next bite, she pondered visiting the farmer's market on the way home so that Fler could have some candied orange buns to share at the tailor shop where she worked. It would be good to make a larger batch to share with the neighbours, too.
A splash of deep reddish brown dragged her attention to the present, the burst of colour out of place among the blush-pink apple blossoms and the grey-brown tree barks and the yellow-streaked blue sky. Junnimay almost dropped the last bit of the bun gifted to her, eyes wide as she took in the sight before her.
There were two half-foots under the large apple tree at the end of the street that opened to the southern market district. One of them shook out a grey bedroll that was much too large to have been designed for half-foot use, and the two of them took turns scooching into it and then reclining to watch the clouds.
The taller of the half-foot pair sported an uncannily familiar head of auburn hair, poking out of their shared bedroll that was made for one tall-man but could apparently fit two half-foots comfortably. She chucked what was left of the bun into her mouth before she took slow steps towards the mouth of the market district, keeping her eyes on the half-foot couple the whole time.
They paid her no mind, even if her gaze never left them minutes and minutes after coming from behind them to appear in front of them. They were too in love to notice her.
Chilchuck was lying in bed next to her, but his back had never felt so far.
Even when Junnimay was a child relentlessly chasing after him and his older siblings in a game of tag melded with hide and go seek, the distance of rows upon rows of tomato plants between her parents' house and his was tiny in comparison to the hand's breadth that separated Chilchuck's sleeping form from her. The entirety of the vast tomato field was easily crossed under her quick and stubborn feet, possible to traverse. She didn't feel the same way about stretching her hand out to touch her husband.
When she had yelled something or the other about getting caught in the tomato vines, Chilchuck would've instantly turned around and run to her. He always did, even if it meant that he would lose to his older brother, the person he hated losing to the most. She remembered that being the reason why she liked him; when she called for him, he made haste to come to her.
If she woke him up at this point in their lives, years and years after playing games with ever-changing rules in the tomato field that belonged to everyone in the village, would he be quick to awaken and ask her if there was anything troubling her? If there was anything he could do to help?
Chilchuck shifted as if her thoughts were so loud that they woke him. She squeezed her eyes and mouth shut, pretending to sleep the way their daughters did when they were still red-faced in the way half-foot children usually were in their most tender years. His blanket swished when Chilchuck pulled it tighter around himself, curling in on himself and inching all the more away from her. All was still on his side of the bed after.
She fell into a true sleep as she pretended. While pretending, she was trying to remember the last time her husband broke out into a run coming to her simply because she had called his name.
The neatly placed line of dark bottles filled with various alcohols that Chilchuck accumulated over the years never looked so inviting to Junnimay.
Between her and her husband, he was consistently the more avid drinker. Since she first discovered she was pregnant with Mei and Fler, she found that she hadn't had the same taste for alcohol that she once had as an adolescent. She used to sneak sips from her father's hidden stash of ales from time to time, careful never to take more than a single large mouthful off the top of the bottles that were full.
With Chilchuck out accompanying yet another party of adventurers to one of the dungeons scattered around Kahka Brud and her three daughters asleep, Junnimay thought it was a better opportunity than ever to indulge in a little alcohol. It has been years since the last time she partook, after all.
She tiptoed to grab hold of the bottle she felt was most appealing, the scarlet label on the front boasting that the mead within contained floral honey from a well-known apiary on the Southern Continent. Pouring herself an economical portion into a dark glass cup, she settled into the alcove overlooking the sea and cracked the window open to feel the salty night-time winds on her face.
"Mama," came a sleep-addled voice from past the kitchen and down the hallway. Junnimay made it to the dining table when she found her firstborn daughter rubbing her eyes at the threshold that separated the kitchen from the rooms.
"Mama," Mei said again, sounding a little more awake than she did the first time. "I think Dad's not coming back yet."
The staunchness in her daughter's statement made her inwardly flinch, and she tried her best not to show it on her face. Mei had always been an unusually perceptive child, and it worried her that her daughter might be picking up on the growing unhappiness between her and Chilchuck. She wouldn't be able to bury it from her girls forever, but she wanted to keep any marital issues hidden from their young and still innocent eyes. The world should be sunny and kind when they gazed upon it, more beautiful and right than when she was the one looking.
Junnimay put on a smile, approaching her daughter and putting her arms around her, stroking at her head of wild ginger hair. It soothed her somewhat when Mei immediately buried her face in her chest, her comparably smaller fingers clutching at the cotton of her sleeping tunic.
"Not for a while, little heart," she said, vacantly running the fingers of her right hand through Mei's hair to untangle the knots. "But he'll be back."
It had only been two days since Chilchuck left for his most recent dungeon expedition. He had never been one to complete a job sooner than he said he would, diligently seeing to it that the task he agreed upon beforehand was carried out as promised. It made him an excellent addition to any adventurer's party, but she realised it also made him an absent father and an unavailable husband.
"He'll miss my birthday again," were the condemning words Mei chose for Chilchuck, muffled from the way she was pressing into her mother and clinging. Junnimay's heart twisted at the disappointment in her daughter's voice, as if her father had let her down for the final time.
Mei suppressed a sniffle and tried to mask it with a sound of exasperation, little fingers starting to pinch at her flesh beneath the fistfuls of fabric already within her hold.
It reminded her that Mei, while able to pick up on subtle things that most children weren't, was still a child. It reminded her that Mei still needed her protection.
It reminded her that she was failing quite miserably.
Chilchuck was at the door for the first time in almost three years, and it was akin to seeing a ghost when she swung the door open, not quite knowing if it was definitely him after hearing his voice on the other side. Junnimay blinked twice, squeezing her eyes shut as she quickly completed a simple incantation of protection taught to her by one of the gnome neighbours, and then opened them once again. He was still there, so she moved aside so he could come in.
"The girls are all out today," she said, leaning against the closed front door to resume lacing up her work boots. "Puck's staying with a work friend in the meantime, so you won't be seeing her until she comes back at the end of winter."
He seemed rather displeased at her lukewarm reaction to his return home, but he didn't mention it. Mirroring the burgeoning pile of her grievances about their marriage, she kept silent when he pretended there wasn't anything to complain about. It was a complicated dance that the two of them had perfected over the years, intimately familiar with each step.
"Where you are headed?" Chilchuck asked, sweeping his eyes over her attire as if he were scanning his lock-picking toolkit for signs of wear and tear. She hated it, and it was bitter when she swallowed the feeling with an increasing level of ease, automatic.
"To the bakery," she said, needlessly undoing the fastening tie of her cloak and doing it up again, tighter the second time around. "My shift ends late, so don't wait up for me. There's leftover cured meat and cheese from Mei and Fler's birthday dinner last week in the pantry, if you want to eat."
Chilchuck crossed his arms rather aggressively as she spoke, and she felt validated at his show of displeasure. She was starting to become suspicious that he believed their marriage to be as intact as it was when they were walking away from the ceremony, but it gave her a twisted sense of unity that they were both looking at the same cracks and being afflicted with the same unpleasant feelings.
"The one along Third Street, right?" he asked.
It sounded to her like he was running out of things to say, and it made her all the more eager to get out of the house and fall back into the safety of her daily routine in which he was entirely absent. She had become comfortable as a mother of three daughters whose father's only contribution was a pouch of gold coins every full moon, delivered to the door by an administrative employee of the local Adventurer's Guild.
The money he provided for her and for the girls has been slowly and steadily increasing over the years, and she was glad that he appeared to be making a name for himself as a skilled locksmith. There was a sudden jump in the weight of the pouch put in her hands a few months ago. She wanted to ask about it since Chilchuck was here, but ultimately decided not to, keeping her questions about his work and his time in the dungeons of Kahka Brud close to her heart instead.
There was once that he had snapped at her for being too curious about his work, and that one time was enough for her to become unnecessarily cautious when speaking to her husband about the jobs he undertook.
She nodded, putting a hand on the doorknob and finding solace in the coolness of the metal against her skin. The silence between her and Chilchuck felt awkward with how large it was, taking more space in the house than even the house itself. When it became apparent that he had indeed run out of things to say, she pushed the front door open and stepped out.
"I'm off," she said, expecting him to regroup with a new adventurer's party on yet another dungeon expedition by the time she returned from her own work at the bakery.
In the early hours of the morning when she found herself home again, Mei and Fler were asleep in their beds. They left a note for her on the dinner table, saying that they ate at the tavern close to the main street and that they brought back a portion of wild boar stew for her in case she was hungry.
For once meeting her expectations at the exact line where she drew them, Chilchuck was nowhere to be found.
Mei was taller than her now.
It was obvious that her daughter was bending at the waist to give her a greeting hug, the height difference between them further exaggerated by the thick soles of Mei's work boots. A bittersweet sense of awe nipped at Junnimay as she was reminded once again how much Mei resembled her father.
"Mama," Mei said, linking her arm with her mother's as the two of them wandered the Central Market on an impromptu stop on the way to Fler's home. Junnimay thought it would be nice to take a long walk with her firstborn, since Mei had taken the opportunity to surprise her by picking her up from the bakery on one of her rare free days. "You deserve to be happy, you know?"
Junnimay froze mid-appraisal of the many kinds of honey on display at the store on her left, slack-jawed and wide-eyed as she turned her head to face her daughter. Where was this coming from? Briefly, her thoughts led her to the husband she recently left, and it brought to the forefront of her mind once again her every reason for finally acting upon what was in her heart.
Mei seemed to be taken aback by her mother's inarticulate but apparently tumultuous contemplation, so she cleared her throat, eyes darting to the side as she visibly mulled over her next words. "I saw you talking with a gnome uncle at the bakery. Your smile was so bright," she said, beginning to pick at the unoccupied holes in her belt with her free hand. "And I can't remember the old man ever looking at you the way the gnome does. I think you can be happy with him, now that the old man's out of the picture."
Bodies were skimming the pair of them in the passing as they stood in one of the many footpaths in the Kahka Brud's largest market. There were many sights to behold and smells to contemplate, and there were even more wares on sale. She had to be mindful of pickpockets in a crowd as thick as the one that eternally thronged this market, but she could only focus on the determined jut of her daughter's chin.
"I'm just saying," Mei said, making eye contact with her after allowing her a moment to ponder. "I want you to be happy. Fler and Puck, too. You deserve it more than most people."
Junnimay moved her arm from its curled position around Mei's and used it to pull Mei into a one-armed hug, squeezing. The wet warmth of tears pricked at her eyes, and she gave her daughter the widest smile she could muster in an attempt to keep her face from crumpling the way it did when she cried.
"I am happy, little heart," she said. "But I think I'm not made for a second marriage."
She watched the gears turn in Mei's head from behind the screen of tears in her eyes. Wiping at her face with the back of her other hand, she apologised instinctively to a male voice that yelled a phrase in Elvish for her to move from somewhere in the mass of people behind her.
Mei sported a scowl as she scanned the crowd over her mother's head to see who was intruding on their conversation. Junnimay laughed, making sure to steer herself and her daughter closer to the wall between the honey store and the one beside it.
"Did the old man ruin it for you? Marriage, I mean," Mei said, after her sweep of the crowd proved unsuccessful. The majority of the market-goers were tall-men who unintentionally blocked her view of the offending elf, lost in the commotion.
Junnimay felt the need to put on a smile, but remembered that Mei was too old to fall for it. Mei had been too old to believe her fanfare of a reassuring smile since she was just a child.
"His father told us that since we liked each other, we should marry. So we did," she said. The memories trickled into her mind's eye slowly, obstructed by years and years of trying to fill the space of both mother and father for her girls. Looking back on her childhood in a small village where everyone was a half-foot was akin to looking into an old spyglass, trying with much difficulty to spot something on the far horizon.
Chilchuck's father was far more authoritarian than hers ever was; if he said something was to happen, everyone around him made sure it happened. Her father, while affronted by the other half-foot's demand, was agreeable to the match and gave her his blessing since she had insisted that she liked Chilchuck enough to marry him.
"I wanted my parents to be happy, and I liked the idea of marriage at that time. I didn't stop to think about if marriage was the right thing for me," she said.
Noting Mei's silence and hoping to assuage any anxieties her daughter might have, Junnimay gave her another squeeze, smiling without the express intention of consoling. "But I don't regret marrying your father. Because of him, I have you and Fler and Puck. I gained the world's best daughters."
Mei chuckled at her bold proclamation, sighing affectionately when she leaned up to press kisses to her daughter's cheek. "Mama, you say embarrassing things sometimes," were the words that Mei spoke, but Junnimay knew her well enough to hear the words she actually wanted to say. She smiled into Mei's jaw.
"Are three daughters better than a husband?" Mei asked, a cheeky glint lighting up her eyes.
Junnimay squeezed her yet again, a tense fist of unease inside her chest loosening with the surrender of a long-kept confession that bared her heart. Even the golden afternoon rays of sun became brighter and more beautiful, her secret feelings being received most graciously by her firstborn. She was sure they would be received similarly by Fler and Puck too; the three of them were all warm-hearted women whom she was proud to have birthed and raised.
"By a thousand tall-men leaps and bounds, three daughters are infinitely better than a husband."
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi scenarios#delicious in dungeon scenarios#chilchuck tims#chilchuck's wife#chilchuck tims x his wife#chilchuck tims x chilchuck's wife#fic#angst#general#kaija writes#kaija writes: dungeon meshi#i'm anime + adventurer's bible scans only#so there's still some things about chilchuck and his family that i haven't come across yet#but still!!!#it doesn't stop me from having so many thoughts and feelings!!!#i wrote this from the perspective of his wife#but what i really want to write a little something more from the perspective of meijack#meijack chils i am writing a fic about you next#something about her eldest daughter syndrome makes her a sister to me#i don't know if it comes up in canon#but i know her#it is there and i want to write about it#i also think a lot about the fact that chilchuck and his wife are childhood friends#childhood friends + exes to lovers???#maybe maybe maybe#i am frothing at the mouth thinking about it
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I have seen the newest fhjy Aelwyn Abernant gifset multiple times in the last week and I had planned to watch it eventually but like...... is that really what's gonna get me into this series. Is that really what it takes. What the fuck level of targeted advertising is THIS.
#you come to me. two weeks before the 5 year anniversary of cr 2x57 in love and war.#and you tell me the elven eldest child with villain decay is now a CAT PERSON?#what the fuck am i supposed to do with this.#to be clear there are specific major plots that I'm interested in. this is not like. just for this reason.#i just haven't gotten around to it and i am feeling very called out for my tastes.#also don't fucking @ me about knowing the date of 57 offhand okay it's actually cuz of quarantine/2020 essek prompt week lmao#but fr as a person who's gonna have to sit my sister down and go 'it's really hurtful that you assume bad intentions of me all the time'#the abernant sisters are in fact like. ouch.#i didn't even mention cuz it feels too obvious but THEY'RE EVEN WIZARDS. good lord. attacked.
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i've been an older sister for eighteen years now– you'd think that i'd have a grasp on it by now. but the truth is, i'm terrible at it, i'm the kind of terrible that would get you fired from an understaffed fast food joint in the middle of a lunch rush; i'm bad at texting them back and i forget if they're seventeen or sixteen now and when i was little i would get so mad that i would cry and rage and wish they would just stop being so terrible for once in their puny little lives.
and when i was a freshman in college i saw a play about a sister and brother coming together for the anniversary of their youngest brother's death; and the characters danced and twirled around the hardness of it all but i felt it in my teeth, like a wild and rabid dog, and i knew that if one of my brothers died it could never be something i lived through. i'd have to lay down in the grave beside them and beg them to seal the tomb, cover me in dirt and let me grow wild and gnarled. i know when bad things happen to them like a distant alarm whirling around in wind thick with dust and locusts. i never see them cry anymore and i almost miss it, the tender weeping of an eleven year old.
i close my eyes and i can still see them, ten and eight, round cheeks and missing teeth, covered in fingerpaint, riding scooters, swim trunks and s'mores, clifford and the wiggles. blue and green. easter egg hunts and six in the morning on christmas day. baseball glove, wiffle ball.
i'm nothing like my brothers, i tell people. if we weren't related, we wouldn't be friends. and we're not friends, not really, but we're the same in our bones. we have the same morals and beliefs, we have the same noses when you squint, we cry over the same things and we all miss our grandma. i love you, have a good day! i text one. how'd the game go? i text the other. Yeah we just smacked them. It’s good, so far it’s been pretty fun. Love you. Thank you. Thank you tho. Morning J love you. It's going good.
Love you more.
if you could time travel to anywhere, when would you pick? i'd pick a random tuesday in 2007. i'd see the toddler legs ambling around on tan shag carpet. i'd see the toys underfoot, smell the spaghetti on the stove, i'd hear myself reciting multiplication tables like they'll save my life. i'd relish in the fact that we're all living under the same roof, safe and whole, none of our hearts have been broken and we don't understand pain that doesn't pour from bloody knees and hangnails. i'd pick up my brothers one last time, give them the piggyback rides they wanted and play airplanes all around the living room. i'd say i love you just to hear the choir sing it back.
#little rambling because i got sad about the fact that my family will never live under the same roof again probably#i miss my brothers 🧍🏻♀️#what does this mean you ask#i don't know i respond#dark academia#light academia#studyblr#booklr#studying#light acadamia aesthetic#study notes#book blog#little women#poetry#family#family dynamics#eldest daughter#eldest sister
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Being an eldest daughter sucks ass, but being an eldest granddaughter is a privileges and an honor, so I think it evens out
#eldest daughter#recently got into making and collecting miniatures as a hobby#and as I was digging around my parents garage for things to make miniatures out of#I came across the at least $300 doll house my grandparents bought me when I was a toddler#and all of the miniature furniture that was already in there#and I was just immediately like damn#the ONLY reason I got this was that I was the first grandchild#my sister never got anything this expensive from my grandparents#and I'm sure none of my cousins ever did either#and like even now that we're all grown up I am still the favorite granddaughter#and my grandparents offer to pay for my college classes and bank role my travel plans and stuff all the time#when once again#I know for a fact they never offer that stuff to my sister and cousins#so like it truly is just about birth order and that's nuts to me
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it is endlessly funny to me how steve harrington is classic 'well my kid sibling's friends are all drastically in need of older brother supervision so i guess now they're all my kid siblings' except for how he is an only child. and his ex-girlfriend's kid brother isn't even kid sibling ground zero. he dated nancy and then somehow got dustin in the divorce, and only through dustin did he get sibling custody of mike. i'd say 'how did he make it to senior year without adopting kid siblings' but well we know why huh
#yelling at clouds#stranger things#funny also to see people treating it like he is actually a pseudo parent#as an eldest sibling who has in fact semi adopted some of my kid sister's friends: trust me the dynamic is different#there is shit u tell an older sibling u do Not tell a parent
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rr wrote bianca into the series and killed her off solely for nico’s characterisation/as a way to progress the plot without making her part of the plot -- and that makes her the most intriguing character in the whole series for me.
she was a 12 yo solely responsible for her younger brother for 70 years!! her character motive was to be free of that responsibility. to only have to worry about herself for once in her life, to finally have a support system backing her. yet even after she’s joined the hunters and percy is on a quest with her seeing her act for herself, the narrative always notes her thru reference to nico.
we see that despite being notably drained by him, she deeply cares for nico and only feels comfortable leaving him bcos she fully believes percy and the rest of chb are capable of taking over her role as caretaker. with the hunters we see her grow more confident, taking off her hat - yet her tying her hair in the same braid as zöe and some other ways she shown to fall into the line with the hunters, actually suggest that whilst she’s found a place with them, she’s trying to belong sm she’s pushing down her personal identity. i would’ve loved to see how she came into herself throughout the series.
after she dies (doing something for nico), except from the initial search, her death is always framed as ‘oh no poor nico losing his sister’ instead of focusing on how horrific it is that a 12 yo died on her first quest after spending a week at most at chb. it should have been a radicalising event for percy yet instead it’s just a source of guilt at not fulfilling his promise to nico.
nico spending months in the labyrinth trying to bring her back, and years later making another attempt when the doors of death open, are written in solely as a way to forward the plot but that extent of love for his sister that’s always driving nico is by far the part of his character that makes him most endearing to me. and when he finally makes contact with her ghost and she’s like ‘even in death you won’t let me rest’. PLSS.
hades negatively weighing nico against bianca and saying he’s the one that should’ve died instead, is totally just meant to be a way of milking nico’s sadness BUT LIKE keep talking hades i really want to know more. hades went against the rule that says gods should stay uninvolved in their demigod children’s lives and had a direct presence in bianca and nico’s upbringing but ur just not going to expand on what his relationship with bianca was like?? what he means be telling nico this?? the aspects of her personality and the memories he has of her that are weighing on him so heavily?? any indication of who she was as his daughter???
also the hints that she knew who her godly parent was??? EXPAND ON THAT. did she come into some of her power?? did she remember some of her past despite being bathed in the river lethe?? (why wouldn’t children of hades have some power over the river???)
i genuinely want to know her. the sole reason i’m excited for the upcoming nico book is to learn more about her, i’m not even exaggerating.
#sorry to be anti gay but give me a book about her and her reincarnations rather than a forced relationship idgaf about..#yeah percy’s fatal flaw colours his narrative but there’s no excuse for the readers to hate on her#if ur not the eldest sister back off u wouldn’t understand#let girls be selfish#i hateeeeee how her death is kinda framed as penance#tho the fact nico refuses to see it as such is very satisfying#something so interesting about a daughter of hades who doesn’t want to linger after death#and quickly deciding she wants to be reincarnated#percy jackson#pjo#bianca di angelo#bianca hazel and nico are my big three#this has been in my drafts for DONKEYS omg#icr why i didn’t post ??#probs have more to add to this
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Hi btw being trans does not automatically grant you supernatural understanding of all esoteric trans knowledge. You actually need to put effort into learning or put effort into keeping quiet about things that don't pertain to your specific experience
#my cishet brother has a better grasp of transgender theory than my transgender bisexual sister because he like... did some basic research#meanwhile my sister confidently told me 'oh youre nit trans youre neutral' the ither week and i almost slapped her#miss maam i am nonbinary and i have been out as some kind of trans for ten years i will politely ask you to shut up ONCE#also in no universe am i 'neutral' but even if i WAS by definition i would not be identifying wholly with my assigned sex#WHICH WOULD MAKE ME TRANSGENDER ANYWAY#apparently shes been portraying herself as the only trans in the family despite the fact that ive BEEN OUT FOR A DECADE#like ms maam when i came out you were TEN YEARS OLD. i taught you what transgender meant! i know for certain i taught you better#i DEFINITELY taught you better than to TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY ARE#like okay i guess if youre not into research and history and you just wanna exist without having yo be an expert that is fine#but DO NOT present yourself as an expert. you are an expert in YOUR BODY and YOUR EXPERIENCES#like. shes got severe 'no one has ever done it like me. i am the weirdest girl at the party' syndrome#while also having the personality of an edgy piece of toast#i love her but i have. been very angry at her and i cant even say anything about it#like. baby girl you are a very generic case of autism and transgender and bisexuality. youre not the most random unique case#'how could you understand?!' meanwhile im sitting there wildly neuridivergent and transgender and i got eldest daughter/third parent trauma#like hmm yeah i wonder what id know about it. i wonder how i could possibly understand. i wonder how i could possibly offer relevant advice#i give up#shes a fucking edge lord and our mum feeds into it rather than being like 'some of your experiences are actually universal'#anyway rant over#my brother is an angel and i eould die for him. worlds best ally#he has never once misgendered me or made me feel weird about it. unlike some other siblings who demands i punch her if she gets it wrong#like... no? stop being weird about it youre making me more uncomfortable than using the wrong pronoun did#mums like that too 'oh i messed up hit me!' like no#how old are you?#grow up im not gonna hit you back why would hurting you make me feel better? does hurting people make you feel better?#cause that sounds like something you should see a licensed professional about. i dont care if its a therapist or a bartender#just do it away from me#rant#personal#delete later
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Marian Paroo the librarian in the Music Man is so Kate Sharma/Kate Bridgerton-coded
#marian paroo#music man#bridgerton S2#TVWLM#Kate sharma#kate bridgerton#kathani bridgerton#As soon as she sees the guy being a good man despite her misgivings#the eldest sister protecting her sibling#Tries to also mother her mother#making a living for her family#that being said#Harold Hill/Gregory#is a little Anthony coded just in the fact he doesn't think he's a good person#and that he can't accomplish his own dreams#Marian being the one to give him enough courage to try
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being the oldest daughter is using gentle parenting techniques on your own parents
#oldest daughter#eldest daughter#dysfunctional family#my dads been dead for a while and my therapist just told me that i am in fact my mom’s husband and my younger sisters dad#slay
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i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already
#help i came home and they got so ballistic that i didnt say hi to them#after my 9 months of driving myself home and entering the house from work not once have they urged a greeting out of me#why the hell do they care now???#like mom got so mad and i was like um ok * goes back to watching danny gonzalez * then i get shouted at to come to parents room#and im like siiiighhh let me put on my jacket i know this will be a while#and im just getting yelled at and standing there like. is the song and dance over yet. can i get back to my computer#and my dad is like your MOM and I DONT TREAT YOU GUYS LIKE THAT#and im just in my head like.....you give us greetings rather than treating us like human beings.....ok....i would prefer the respect rather#than the greetings....#and my dads like whenever I come home I always greet everyone#and its like. yeah ? i can think of a few times where you havent but it doesnt matter when its you right#oh you can come home and greet everyone yeah but can you treat us with respect? are you capable of not having everyone groan when they hear#your car horn that indicates you're home? do you have the ability to not make everyone hide and vacate to their rooms when they hear your#key unlocking the door? no? then i dont care about the fact you can say hi to everyone#and mom is like lecturing me and my sister about not cleaning as well and its like hi what about your husband#hi maybe you should question why we cant clean our rooms#maybe its the fact you never taught us how to organize or how often to clean? did you know you've never taught us how to properly clean?#did you know i cant clean without a timer? are you aware that your eldest daughter that gives you attitude and promised to be mean when#she's taking care of you in your last years of life doesnt clean whatsoever? the 26 year old that acts just like your husband? the one whos#only chore is to wash dishes and doesnt even do that? she complains shes too tired because of work but even on her off days she doesnt do i#? do you remember that she only does the dishes when she's going out with a boy? do you remember the 3 months where i took it upon myself t#do everyones chores because i had the time? the way you dont acknowledge i helped out a lot during that time and helped keep peace through#the house by doing that? you dont because you love to focus on the negatives and as a result you make your own life miserable#and everyone else's?especially mine because im the one who actually feels guilt? but dont do it bc im tired of doing someone else's work?
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do you want me to fucking go off on you? do you truly fucking want that mother?
#“oh you and your sister never listen to me and blah blah blah” we fucking do (or at the very least i do)#“you guys never help out” does me doing the litter and taking out the trash and on occasion hand washing the dishes mean#fucking nothing to you? does me sweeping the floor every once in a while because you chose to keep us in an area that is ALL SAND/DIRT ROAD#for whatever stupid ass reason also meaningless? does me doing my damn best to help out mean fucking nothing?#do you want me to kill my self. do you want to lose your eldest child to something YOU could have fucking prevented all because you can’t#stop being a bitch to him all the time? do you really fucking want that mom? because at this rate i am once again on the road to fucking#attempting it. i’m so god damn sick of how you treat me. the only time i can do anything i want is at night. i stay up super late playing#games with my friends because its the only time in the day when you aren’t bitching and whining for me to do something you don’t want to do#for the past several days i’ve been up until five in the damn morning just to do something that makes me happy.#you misgender me. you deadname me. you refuse to accept any aspect of my identity. you don’t treat me like a god damn person.#i have so many different ways i can consider attempting if i truly wanted to. the only thing keeping me alive is my friends. because they a#least show that they fucking care and actively want to do things with me. like group drawing or playing video games.#YOU on the other hand; mother; yell and get mad at me over the stupidest shit and never fucking apologize.#i cannot recall a singular time you’ve apologized for being a complete bitch to me over something so fucking unimportant.#and yet i’m expected to be completely fucking fine and happy all because you provide me with the bare fucking minimum.#”i clothe and feed and provide a place for you to live” THAT IS THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. sure you could argue over the fact i’m 18 and#should be out working somewhere. but you give me so few opportunities for going places and even considering getting a job or finally gettin#my driver’s license. plus i would rather fucking die than work any food service or customer service job. because i’d be going somewhere#where i’d mostly get talked down to or yelled and then come home and have the same shit done after working for hours and getting minimal#pay. i’d rather work on my own fucking terms with commissions than go into any job where i have to interact with others in public for any#reason. where i’d be treated just the same as at home. like someone who isn’t a person and doesn’t deserve anyone to be nice to them.#i constantly so desperately wish that maybe one day soon i’d find someone to be with romantically and that i could maybe live with them and#get out of this hell hole that i’m supposed to call home. to go somewhere and have my efforts appreciated. to go somewhere where i’d#actually fucking be loved. i shouldn’t have to wish so god damn hard for a better life all because my mother can’t fucking treat me like a#person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.#i’m ending this rant here before i get too angry and upset. see you all in maybe an hour.#suicide mention#ask to tag
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there is always an undercurrent of expecting the worst when it comes to beard's family and how they think of beard.
whenever his eldest sister picks up the phone, you can always tell she's waiting for beard to detail how he's fucked up and now needs her help. she expects the worst from him, even after years of trying to prove he's better now. elizabeth expects beard to relapse, to fall back into his old patterns, and to pass those patterns onto her children.
his other sister reacts similarly, but she attempts to hide it as she's the Beard who believes in him the most, but still can't help but be wary. she trusted him, and he had let her down. he hadn't meant to, it wasn't his intention, but he did. and despite him and fiona being the closest out of the beard siblings, there's still a barrier there between them. and it's something beard dislikes, and tries so hard to prove wrong.
he wants to prove them both wrong, he truly does.
beard knows that his sisters have a reason for not wholly trusting him, after his addiction + imprisonment nearly ruined their dynamics completely . . . but it does make him feel like crap. it makes him feel like they don't believe in him, that they don't think he could be better or different or sober...and it makes him feel like every time he tries to prove himself different, it means nothing. because at the end of the day, they don't trust him. and he knows it.
#hc.#it's the worst w his eldest sister and beard KNOWS. he knows that she has reasons for turning him away.#for not trusting or believing in him.#but also it makes him feel...so shitty!#just knowing elizabeth always expects the worst. and fiona can't help it even though she DOES believe in beard.#just makes him feel like crap whenever he's around his family. feels like he's always Trying to make it up to them#even twenty years after the fact.
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Thank you for the nice tags on the pic published to catchonehand!
Zen as the middle child? I'm curious and would love to know what you're referring to 👀
I got this ask like two days ago I'm so sorry I caught a cold and didn't get to answer fdjgfkdgjkdf
This is the post in question btw for anyone confused because again I reblogged that like two days ago
The fastest answer is I've been seeing a lot of Ramattra as a Protective Older Brother to Zenyatta art, and have always seen Zenyatta Genji in the same Brotherly Found Family kind of relationship (vaguely all my relationships are grey and moldable by recent art I've seen)
So if this Found Family Tree goes Ramattra-Zenyatta-Genji, that makes Zenyatta a Middle Child which I feel is fitting.
The funnier half of it though is that sense Ramattra was made for the Omnic Crisis, and no Omnics were made after the Crisis, this means Zen (at 20) HAS to be older than Ramattra, physically. Meanwhile Genji is 35 if I remember right (the official character page doesn't show their ages anymore so this may be subject to change in OW2)
Meaning by AGE it'd go Genji-Zenyatta-Ramattra, keeping Zen the Middle Child once again.
Out of all the lore we could have possibly gotten for Zenyatta, after 6 years, they choose to make him a Middle Child. Short Middle Sibling Energy.
#Zenyatta#What does being a middle child entail exactly?#couldn't tell you I'm a youngest child *leans on Genji* I project on this guy#I don't know why I find this so funny maybe it's this website's addiction to pointing out Youngest Children#I saw a post earlier today that was just the Fuckwad guy from Shrek saying 'Only Child' on a post about biting people#And yeah that's a certified Siblingless Post#The fact that they took out the little mini lore blurbs and ages from the official character page is bothering me#I mean we've never had a good timeline but knowing everyone's ages was HELPFUL#I hope they don't deage anyone I liked that Overwatch Women were 30+#Media doesn't let women be 30 anymore I need my 36 year old Mercy Blizzard she brings me comfort#was mercy 36 now i'm starting to second guess myself#you know bastion is 30 he's our oldest omnic#if they change that so help me Aaron#ANYway#I hope this explained it for you mostly it's just like. A funny thing I thought of to say in the moment#Zen and Ram have LOTS of Monk siblings so they're probably both middle children#But Ramattra being built to be a leader and having Eldest Daughter Syndrome is incredibly funny to me#The way he interacts with Bastion in the Streamer Early Access I'm going to cry he's such a big sister
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lucy sbr makes me so sad im trying to like turn her around more in my mind…..
#simultaneously excited to see where her story goes but also dreading it because. well#just got to her backstory and like… i do have thoughts about it…..#her and stephens relationship is interesting if not also a bit messed up (thankfully not in the way youd think) but a part of me thinks its#intentional… like yes they have a familiar relationship but obvious a 14 year old feeling like shes a mother to this grown adult (that shes#also married to and whos her guardian figure) is fucked up. like i guess its explained by her#growing up the eldest sister in a struggling house with no mother and many younger siblings. and the sacrifices she was willing to make for#her family further add to the Caretaker characterization….. but that doesnt change the fact that its very sad for a child to feel like they#have to take that role. like its something shes assigned herself even now when it doesnt need to be that way#and obviously its the reason she becomes involved in the plot and gets put in these horrible situations#also i said that she was willing to sacrifice for her family but i do wish her short backstory had involved her persoective more bc we dont#actually know what she felt about the whole Mafia thing. or marriage initially. sigh#jojo
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i like to imagine that the greencest runs so deep and in so many directions that even the most hardcore Targaryen exceptionalists are internally going “right in front of my salad??” they can swallow sibling incest but whatever polyamory bs the green are doing is just too much for them
I love how this implies that the incest genes are actually coming from the Hightower side and even the Targs think it's kinda weird, lmaooo
It's the natural conclusion of years and years facing the same kind of abuse and their suffering being completely overlooked/ignored by everybody except them (the green sibs) and feeling as if nothing in this world is in any way worthwhile or good and your biggest accomplishment in life/the only thing you have that you can cling to are your children (Alicent), progressing into a codependency so encompassing, it's hard from an outsider's perspective to make any sense of the dynamics within the family because everybody seems to be everything at once.
#the only close to getting it is Ser Criston#but that's only because he's been there pretty much from the beginning#it's so funny that the Targs are supposed to be the incest family#but the hightowers/greens are wayyy more fucked up#it's the fact that Targaryens are raised as potential suitors/matches whereas Aegon and Helaena were raised as siblings first and foremost#it's the fact that their eldest sister is the same age as their mother#it's the fact that their grandfather feels more like a father#it's the fact that Targaryens marry within their family but it's not really seen as incest because it's the norm#but the greens do see it as incest and that makes it even more fucked up#Rhaen*ra marrying her uncle is nothing scandalous#Alicent having a weird Mother/Father relationship with her Father and raising her children with him rather than her Husband?#EXTREMELY scandalous#it's the whole forbidden aspect of it all#ask tag#hotd#greencest
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