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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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i made a list of the vibes of the hermits i watch, so you might want to check some of them out! this is just mostly jokes, but i thought all of the more “serious” propaganda was missing something, so have what truly makes hermitcraft worth it; the players’ unique styles!

will be back on my dsmp stuff asap but it’s the first day of season 8 and i would really appreciate if you checked them out through the links provided :]

Grian; [ episode one link ]

vibes of a 17 year old mcyter, is actually 27 and married

noo not my red jumpah!

chaotic capitalist

someone is making the server better through order? *starts another war* whoops, hand slipped :D

he built a- he rebuilt his entire megabase in survival, above a giant lake of lava, in the nether, on hard mode, upside down??

“watching as scar dies over and over in my trap is peak comedy and i’m tired of pretending it’s not” but it happens like 5 times i every season

video editing is very main-stream and good for short attention spans!

*sad montage over losing stuff he’ll get back in 15 minutes because he’s rich*

pesky birdd! great elytra flier! amazing builder! will tnt your house! poultrymannn!!

wholesome, chaos incarnate, talented architect

why won’t mumbo respond to my messages it’s been two weeks :[ (clingy)

doors???????????? your house has doors???? no doors for you good sir!

will laugh a lot at a lot of things, esp when he’s with his friends

genuinely just so fun to watch

Mumbo Jumbo; [ episode one link ]

perfect british accent

mustache man (warning: he has no mustache irl)

*fails ten businesses in a row* iskall please help

redstone is his element

“it’s actually quite simple” i like your funny words magic man, now can you repeat how in the hell you made a that fancy vault work-

filmographer?? i think? met up with grian irl

him and grian have a robot son named grumbot. that has nothing to do with the vibes but i had to mention him because he means a lot to me.

tries to stay out of wars and server politics until someone (grian) drags him into them

minigame maker, makes the hermits competitive and that is scary (also very funny) e. g. button, hermit challengesss!

“it’ll be fineee” *que shot of everything on fire behind him*

makes his base a living being and then all his neighbors end up feeding it instead of him

conspiracy theorist. bumbo baggins. the usual.

very entertaining videos that help you learn more about minecraft mechanics!

GoodTimesWithScar; [ episode one link ]

wheelchair creator with literally the best vibes

so wholesome i. he is so cool he makes me so happy :’D

*extremely cool announcer voice* ooooo hello there my fellow miners and crafters, good timeees with scar heree, and welcome backk to the wonderful world of hermits and crafting, and we’re flying over-

commentates everything extremely well

spends tenths of hours on builds within a single video and doesn’t bat an eye

lore for all of his builds! he builds these amazing bases to tell a story!

“i wanna see white flags! white flags, outside your base, by-“ wait no wrong anti-rebellion army leader

all videos have a clear objective

mostly building, but he loves hanging out/helping his friends!

loves disney movies! wants to go to space! :D

kind-hearted, always makes everyone else smile

can be chaotic but usually just tries to have fun and make sure everyone else has fun too

*flies into a tree on half a heart* wait what why did i die D:

scar. scar please eat. you’re going to die for the tenth time this video-

the non-chaotic capitalist, has extremely creative shop designs

a danger to himself, but also the kind of person you can’t be angry at for long

BdoubleO100; [ episode one link ]

the guitar music at the beginning of his videos brings a smile to my face, it just has such an immaculate mood

*camera pans over him as said music plays* ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of hoimycraffff

the way he talks is extremely endearing

one of the best builders on the server - probably best builder of interiors in existence

able to make a palette using any number of strange blocks and then make amazing builds using it

built a whole castle as a backdrop, then built an entire giant mountain for said castle

extremely sensitive to short jokes, usually gets pranked by others because his reactions are always so funny

his daughters show up from time to time in his room while he’s recording and it’s so cute

*has no way to see the sun but still knows it’s nighttime* gotta go schleep!

scar, pointing at him “this is why we can’t have nice sunsets”

(scar dies because of mobs every time bdubs isn’t on the server to sleep)

likes to be accomplice because he isn’t the one being made fun of (/lh)

*shoots himself in front of a confused grian because he thinks the guy wants his face again when he’s actually just looking for a netherportal*

is usually the underdog so it feels good when he wins

they’re all actually such great friends so it’s genuinely funny to watch

he himself is amazing at entertainment and just a very cool guy

ImpulseSV; [ episode one link ]

what’s going on everyone, my name is impulse and welcome back to hermitcraft!

always speaks with a smile in his voice

has a good dynamic with basically everyone

great co-worker and always helps out if he can

had his base turned pink during the swap, and instead of changing it back afterwards, he dyed his skin’s hair and clothing pink to match it

very cool and original building style!

makes a lot of farms and sells what he gets in his few shops

makes money to be able to do more stuff and make more farms

blows up most his base ever so often to rebuild parts. you know, like a normal person does in minecraft survival.

the grind is never over

the guy who always gets all of the work done on the school project and proceeds to be chill about it

always has very cool side-projects going on and puts his heart into all of them

pog timelapses!!

Rendog; [ episode one link ]

*short, funny scene from the video at the beginning slowly fades out into great music

dogs howling as the half-dog half-cog logo comes up*

greetiiings cyberdogs and citizens of the interbubs! this is ren diggity dawg coming atcha, in another minecraft episodes varuuummm the hermit. craft. server. (hey!)

we’re kicking things off today my friends, from the- *location name on screen*

that intro gets me hyped every time

he’s a furry who talks in bro language it’s great i swear - very atypical but fun

he transformed an entire biome into a star wars planet for his base

his building skills and dedication are incredible

horny (just a little bit)

the only person who cared about mycelium in the whole rebellion

does a lot of roleplay-themed stuff and mysteries to be solved

“b-dubba-dubs one hundred”

extremely upbeat & sweet guy

adds -age after everything “biddage” “flyage” to make it sound Cooler

amazingly positive always and funny as hell

mcc winner!! wooooooooo :D

always tries to be where stuff is happening and interact with people

very entertaining editing style

Iskall85; [ episode one link ]

drives joke into the mud and then picks them up and does it again which is funny

starts videos with one-off bits

iskallman!!! the superhero literally no one needed and yet there he is

only has one (1) braincell when with mumbo

they both do and they’re hilarious together every time

like when they laughed at squeaky noises for ten minutes straight. guys please you’re adult men

bernie the leaf master

omega (something) of doom!!

encourages gambling (in a videogame)

he has so many jokes he keeps using i can’t possibly fit them all in here

basically a wildcard

i have no idea what he’s doing this season

i have no idea what he’s doing ever actually

tame chaos, confusing to the point when it’s funny again

really great builder as well!

mostly for younger audiences but his videos are a good watch in general

feel free to send asks about hc! i’m already loosely involved in hermitblr but yeah, my dsmp followers aren’t immune :] /lh /j

#long post #hermitcraft #hermitcraft s8 #hermitblr #ruby's rambles #:]#all my personal opinions #just wanted to add to the hype lol

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redwinterroses · 3 years

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RIIIIIIIIIGHT SO.

I just finished chapter 13 of Dog At The Door and holy hot cross buns batman if you're not reading this fic you NEED to. It's literally one of the best written fics I have ever read in my life and I've been reading fanfiction for over 15 years, lol.

I went back and reread the entire fic to lead up to chapter 13 and I decided to treat it like I used to treat things I had to read in college so I took notes as I went and please I am warning you this post is incredibly long. Almost 3k words. PLEASE do not hit that "read more" button unless you're good with having to scroll past it all and also spoilers ahead. Proceed with caution.

~*~

Rereading Dog at the Door reactions (spoilers, obviously):

· Doc finding Ren’s body to be cold and for a second thinking he’s actually dead—my heart

· “That’s Ren, alive and kicking.” Oh…no, Doc. No it’s not.

· The first “Where is my hand?” hits different the second time through

· Gah the ice and winter imagery ALL over the place—my English degree brain wants to watch and see if that shifts to warmth at any point as we go? Thoughts for future Red to think.

· It’s fascinating to me to see Doc constantly thrust into the prey role. This is a guy who is very much not that person normally, but something about the Red King is beyond anything he’s really encountered before—or at least not since Dinnerbone—and it pushes him into an entirely new role that he clearly chafes in

· “I should get back to work on your new arm soon,” he says, making a mental note to add claws to the fingertips. Honestly Doc why tho. XD

· “It feels like something Ren would want him to do.” </3

· Side note: I just watched Doc’s freaking hour long shulker farm vid, and that’s making it a lot easier to hear his voice in this fic

· I’m more curious about the hand.” New Ren laughs a bit at his own words, as though there’s something funny about that phrasing. I MISSED THIS LINE THE FIRST TIME THROUGH

· The bead curtain being cursed hippie treasure XD

· The fact that Doc just so quickly accepts that Ren is gone—maybe not permanently, but at least for now—is kind of heartbreaking. Because you know he hasn’t really accepted it, he’s just… deciding not to feel anything about it. Just nod and move on and pretend you don’t need to stop and cope with the possible/probable death of your best friend and the fact that Someone Else is wearing his skin. That’s so sad.

· “high-fiving the finished hand with his own metal hand.” Aww… Doccy.

· “He shoos away the images of New Ren holding him up by the throat supervillain-style and turns around.” Hmmmmmmm want that fanart. Scary New Ren/RK is good stuff. (post-chapter-13 Red popping in with a WHAT THE HECK)

· “that makes him seem like a ghost in Ren’s body.” YA KNOW. LIKE HE IS.

· Okay side note time: why is the Red King here? Ya know? Like – in 3rdLife the idea of a possessing spirit of bloodlust makes some sense. But why stick around? Was RK trying to escape the 3L server, or was this not deliberate? At what point did he take over from Ren—at Black Heart Altar? In which case, was the whole idea Ren’s to begin with, or was he influenced? Maybe it happened the first time Ren died? The Red King took over then—or at least started to? Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts…

· Wait more theories—what if RK is connected to the ????? entity that spoke to Martyn when he died? In which case, cMartyn said he was considering making that canonically a Watcher (he ended up not doing it, but he also didn’t do anything that contradicted it either). I’m not saying RK is a Watcher… but boy he sure does stare a lot, don’t he.

· Holding the screwdriver like a dagger—mmmm

· Okay funny thought: all this frost, RK’s gonna need to be real careful about rust lol. And straining the metal, tbh, all that freezing and thawing is going to have an effect but the rust idea is making me laugh

· Until I realized it would look like blood and it’s not funny anymore

· “Renbob is in the beanbag stuffed next to the driver’s seat” right so is this where Renbob sleeps because I have been wondering—

· “something about having two people look like Ren when neither of them are makes Doc stop to take a shaky breath” *sob*

· “Renbob clears his throat, looking up at Doc with a smile that is so obviously fake that it hurts.” Ugh the LOT of you stop repressing everything you’ll give yourselves a collective hernia

· “he’ll probably have to break the news to the other hermits, too, Iskall and False and all the others.” All these painful lines I somehow missed the first time through

· Awww warm air comes in when Renbob opens the door—with the flowers and everything, Renbob is so easily associated with spring, I love this contrast.

· Aaand there it is, yup, RK is shocked to see his face on Renbob, and Renbob is shocked to see that this is so clearly Not Ren.

· They both recover pretty quickly, though. Survivors, both of them.

· RK calls Renbob their “ferryman” and I’m not sure if I was supposed to get “crossing the river Styx” vibes from that But I Did. (does RK think he’s dead? That they’re all dead?) (post-chapter-13 Red here with a little bit of wordless screaming.) (and also a bit of pride that I picked up on this.)

· “And what a help you’ve been! Fixing me up, replacing my hand.” Hi yes, 911? there’s a dagger stabbed into my feels.

· “he’d rather remember rage than see another person’s heart break.” Dang that’s such a raw line. Oof.

· ”the Red King says, his voice hoarse with tears.” Really interesting that this blood deity can feel such emotions—like, anger or even fear, I can get. But to see this entity upset to the point of tears is fascinating.

· “There is a crown on Doc’s workbench.” Right, yeah so like—is RK unwillingly manifesting these artifacts? Because that’s wild, man. …how long before he manifests an “enchanter”?

· “I’ve never seen it [the crown] clean before.” Okay that definitely implies that maybe RK didn’t come around until after Black Heart Altar?

· “The Red King has the crown in his lap when Doc turns back around, claws gently tracing over the engravings, leaving frost patterns behind.” I really wish I had art skills because there’s this image in my head of a drawing of the crown held in RK’s hands, with his face (one eye glowing, one in shadow) reflected in the surface, and frost patterns following behind a claw that’s daintily tracing the surface. But I can’t draw so—

· RK asks for a change of clothes. What was he wearing when they rescued him, I wonder? The Red King outfit with the fur capelet? Or Ren’s Stargazer outfit? Which begs the question: where does Stargazer fit into all this? Was Ren’s return to Hermitcraft RK free, but when he came so close to dying to Sith, RK found that as a gateway to take over? (Post-13 Red here, Looking Intently at this note.)

· Awww… the image of a one-legged RK clutching new clothes to his chest and hopping down to change in the bathroom… That’s weirdly endearing. He’s less menacing when he stands up somehow. Less lurking, maybe.

· Oooohhhhh he messed up his back sleeping on the floor. Gotcha.

· Doc keeps telling himself (and RK) that saving him and working on these parts is “the right thing to do” and while he’s not WRONG I just want to see him realize that it’s not only the right thing, it’s realistically the only thing, because if he didn’t, then he’d have to deal with the fact that he’s lost his best friend and we can’t have that.

· “I don’t need to eat” ummmmmm no hold on this definitely implies that RK is possessing a dead body and I’m not okay with that where is Ren

· LOLOL “I can’t stand to see [you do] this” is such a raw line to be about watching Doc eat cereal with his hands

· “The voice doesn’t belong to who he thinks it does.” Ugh, Doc. This isn’t the first time he’s lost a close friend to Something Else, something otherworldly.

· “All of them are waiting for him, waiting for him to do something more, something better—” aaand there it is. Doc’s characterization in this fic in a single sentence.

· Doc waking up and thinking he’s seeing Ren and RK’s hesitation and the gentle “I’m not Ren”—OH MY HEART

· RK’s coffee = Renbob’s friendship bracelets

· Randomly can I just say that I love how RK’s dialog is all in italics? It concerned me at first because I thought it was going to keep pulling me out of the narrative, but instead it really just feels right. Also I’m looking forward to the moment when he says something and it’s not in italics because it’s REN and oh my lands please give this to me I beg you (post-13 Red here with a bit more mindless screaming)

· “watch your tongue with me, Atlas, because I’m the one person you can pass the sky to.” Okay okay okay—English studies brain coming out. This suggests that there is a burden RK and Doc can share: something Doc is currently struggling against that only RK can help him with. In the moment, I don’t know if this is really fair of RK to say—after all, Doc does technically have Renbob too, if we’re just talking about Doc’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. In fact, if that’s the context, then Renbob is a much better fellow-Atlas because he and Doc have known each other much longer and they’re both dealing with the loss of Ren. BUT, knowing about the upcoming conversation where Doc and RK both realize that they’ve lost someone (Ren for Doc, Martyn for RK) this line suddenly has a lot more weight. Again, I don’t think that in that moment RK quite has the right to pull this zinger. But in later context, it turns out to be true after all. They are the only two with this particular shared pain.

· Doc upset with himself because he can’t get over his “stupid hang-ups” DOC MY LAD. “I’ve lost my best friend, you’re in his body, and I don’t know how to process any of these emotions” is not a “stupid hang-up” PLEASE stop blaming yourself for everything!?

· “I’m so tired” in the middle of his nightmare—oh my gosh. That hurts so much for some reason.

· I also very much wish I had the ability to draw the image of Doc with tears on his face, staring dead-eyed down at his workbench while RK looms over from behind, pinning his wrists to the table with one metal arm and one frost-bitten one, a look of exasperation and concern on his face. Why can’t I draw the things

· “How do you know Etho” “I watched him die.” OW ow ow ow ow

· Doc takes this as calmly as only someone used to living in a world where death has low consequences can. Oh. Oh—that means… huh. Doc isn’t used to losing people permanently on any basis, especially not death. So no wonder he doesn’t know how to process Ren being gone (I can’t bear to write “dead” there). He literally doesn’t have context for it… and what context he DOES have is like—I mean, Etho and Bdubs came back. Ouch.

· “Twenty-five.” The Red King makes the number sound like a threat. Yet another banger line I missed the first time through. Imagine waking up and thinking you’re in 3rd Life again but instead of 14 players there’s almost twice that many and you think you don’t know any of them.

· I still don’t quite understand the “when was etho added/should have known there was something different” bit or why RK is so emotional about it… but I have trust that it’ll make sense at some point. (post-13 Red: ...is this something about the fact that he thinks he's dead...so he thinks Etho has died before? Like, that 3rd Life wasn't Etho's first hardcore? ...I feel like I'm almost grasping this but I'm missing an element somewhere.)

· And now a sword. RK. My man. You need to stop manifesting things—especially when they scare the ever-living daylights out of you.

· I absolutely adore the in-universe lore that Fire Aspect is a PvP enchantment because it threatens dropped loot, and yeah I very well might steal that. (Along with something I read at one point who-even-knows-where that Knockback is a coward’s enchantment, because I love that too.)

· He really shouldn’t. / Doc picks up the sword by the scabbard and hands it to him, hilt extended. Doc you already trust this guy so much and you don’t even know it—but is it just because you still subconsciously trust the face he wears? Or is it something deeper?

· Ugh, the “I was supposed to kill someone for him” conversation/scene is SO FREAKING GOOD

· “I don’t want it. Not like the crown.” Why, though? Why doesn’t he want it? Because it’s more to do with death than kingship? OH. Oh, I hadn’t even considered that. I’ve been thinking of RK as this like, god of blood and vengeance but maybe he’s not. Maybe he hates the bloodshed (“the blood! It’s drippin’ in me eyes… I’ve been blinded by the violence…”) just as much—more?—than Ren did/would have. Huh. That’s a new facet.

· Oh my heart the “have you ever lost someone and it was your fault” line. Dagger to the feels. Dagger to the feels.

· This like… “I’m on a roll and even though I know I should stop I really don’t want to” mode? Man. That’s relatable. Especially when you’re working to avoid dealing with something else.

· “Not making it for you—it’s for Ren” oh ouch ouch ouch the denial suddenly breaks through it’s okay, Doc I’m with you on this

· The second time reading through it’s far clearer that Doc has a blind panic attack here—when he starts rambling that Ren’s coming back, he’ll be there for season eight and RK goes to…do whatever he was going to do and Doc just blanks out. The manic productivity should have been a warning sign, the poor guy is crumbling.

· “Doctor” and “he’s not sure he deserves that title right now” UGH Doc needs a hug someone please hug him and tell him it’s all going to be okay. Someone please hug me and tell me it’s all going to be okay.

· “his hand on his throat” over the scar from the Red Winter axe? </3

· “I did do that. I have done that.” RK admitting to it actually having been him in Doc’s nightmares?

· Okay sorry the conversation about beating Dinnerbone will never not be funny to me

· RK mentions that people used to call him m’lord or Ren, and then mere minutes later you have “Ren. You couldn’t save him because of me, could you?” He knows exactly what’s going on here. Not maliciously, but he’s no dense-head, he’s put the pieces together. (post-13 Red: MOST of the pieces. Most of them.)

· Watching Doc slowly stop fighting his nightmares—like, the first time, he fights. The second time, he accepts it but still struggles. And this time… this time he gives up before it even starts. That hurts, man.

· Good grief the whole “get my head chopped off” / “you really don’t want that” bit. O.O I’m not sure what emotion I’m feeling but I’m Feeling An Emotion.

· “Snow’s new. Dream’s not.” </3

· …Doc’s not gonna be a fan of snowier-snow after this trip…

· "Dr. M77" Actually he’s Doc Monster, RK, but we’ll let it go. XD

· OKAY BUT THIS EXCHANGE? The “how are you feeling” / “better” / “you’re a bad liar” / “I said better not great” that’s such a good exchange and I don’t know why every other time I’ve ever seen it used they stop at the lying accusation? Doc with the snappy comebacks, man.

· Aaah, Doc and RK, two establishment bros bonding over a shared disdain for hippies.

· The bit about the fella who wore an iron helmet and called it a powdered wig—fear is in my heart. *shoves Scar into an obsidian box and blocks it closed*

· “Who was Ren to you?” </3

· Doc is more than willing to spread the flames, to sear his loss into RK’s bones. / The king’s face stops him. Ren’s face stops him. Holy CRAP is that a good set of lines. So much going on there, and ALL of it good.

· Again. I wish I could draw. I would draw RK sitting on the edge of the bed, gently hugging a collapsed-in-on-himself Doc. </3

· “And I hate the devil that forced us apart, that mixed my blood with his.” *adds another layer to Scar’s obsidian fort*

· OKAY STARTING CHAPTER THIRTEEN I made the mistake of logging into Tumblr earlier and saw people screaming so I’m sure I’m not ready for this but here we go

· Oh no RK has been hippie-ified

· “You started a paramilitary organization because you have hay fever?” *dies laughing*

· Ugh I need to go back and watch s6 I’ve only seen the tail end of Mumbo’s side of things and there’s so much I don’t know.

· HAHAHAHAH I do know the trident bit though—

· Wait he said Scar

· PANIC

· “Kingslayer. bloodthirsty. Time King. The coward. And the mastermind behind it all, the loyal soldier to the very end, the whole damn reason either of us are in this mess.”

· HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY—

· “Is this the afterlife I deserve? After everything, this is the hell I’m going to endure?” I AM SCREAMING

· Doc pinned to the wall with ice, struggling to breathe—I CAN’T WHAT IS HAPPENING

· ((You know I’d get through this a lot faster if I stopped pausing to write reactions—))

· “A break in the ice. A whisper of spring.” Symbolism. Symbolism.

· “Ren was dead when I found him again,” NO I REFUSE TO READ THIS

· “don’t use the hand I built you to hurt yourself” DOC. SIR. MY HEART.

· RK don't run, RK get back here—what are you—

· I

· JUST

· ACTUALLY

· SCREAMED

· AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

· *several long moments of just breathing*

· *rereads*

· Holy crap on a garbage cracker with an extra serving of what-the-heck sauce

· REN

· Okay lol okay hahaha calming down

· I literally threw myself back in my chair away from the computer reading that last paragraph. I don't usually... physically react to things I read. LOL. Heh. I’m. Ah. I’m not emotionally invested in this or anything.

· Holy crap.

· Okay. Okay. Okay.

· Um.

· Great chapter, guys. Awesome stuff. Really good. I’m absolutely okay right now and it’s all totally fine.

· …please enjoy your break and get lots of rest and I very much look forward to the return of this fic you have no idea.

· I need to go breathe for a little bit.

EDIT: no, you know what--I'm not going to be a nice polite fangirl over here and quietly hope y'all see this I'm straight up tagging you, @fluffy-papaya and @betweenlands. THANK YOU but also how dare.

#The only reason I'm even posting this is for my own remembering later #and i guess if fluffy or solar want to see my mindless ramblings -- go nuts #long post #redwinterreacts #redwintertalks #dog at the door

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scp-10000 · 3 years

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Coal Fighting Hermits

(Keep in mind this is all just personas. Myself and The Hermits aren’t fighting in real life. Also, my minesona’s a half dragon, half eldritch horror who solves most of her problems by bitting, scratching, and slapping them with her bone tail.) I’m joining this quick trend started by @shadeswift99. Let’s go. Time for a bored and combative lizard to fight some Hermits.

Bdubs: Yeah he’s a feral man like two seconds from snapping, and he has 3 knives and a machete under his shirt. I’ve made worse decisions. 10/10 Would fight. 5/10 I’m sure it’d be even enough for it to be fun.

Cubfan: You see, I wouldn’t be able to fight him. I’d lunge at him, and using his Vex Magic, he’d rob me, and teleport far away before I even lay a claw on him; doesn’t even matter if I only have 5 cool bones and 50 shiny rocks, bastard’d steal’um to spite me and bail. 10/10 Would fight to get all my stuff back. 1/10 I’m not getting my stuff back.

DocM: Draconic Eldritch Abomination vs Buff Creeper Cyborg Man with a Rocket Launcher Arm. That sounds like a dumb action movie, and I live for it. I’d only fight Doc if someone was recording it, cause even if I lose, it’d be entertaining as all hell. 10/10 Would fight. 1/10 I sure as hell ain’t winning, lets be real.

Etho: Cryptid who likes dropping anvils. Sounds like a fun fight. 8/10 Would fight if bored. 2/10 Probably would only win if Etho got bored mid fight and just left.

False: The Queen of Hearts, Heads, and Body Parts. I’d definitely fight her if I wanna die, but knowing my luck, the univers’ll have her spare me as punishment for all my sins. 10/10 Would totally die. 6/10 I’d be disappointed if I live.

Grian: Now, half the fandom’s like “gRiAn HaS sHoRt FeRaL eNeRgY,” which I’ll admit he probably does; problem is I’m 5′7, so that ain’t gonna help him. Now Grian is also a good ambusher, which probably would help him because I’m shite at finding targets I’ve lost track of. If I lose track of Grian in this fight, he’d totally be able to ambush me. 6/10 It’s not one I really think’d be fun. 4/10 Eh.

Hypno: No, I will not fight the vibing man. 1/10 Not unless I need this for the main quest or something. 5/10 I’m guessing it’d probably be even.

Impusle: No, I’m not going after the vibing totem man either. 1/10 Dude probably has a hotbar full of totems. 6/10 Again, totems.

Iskall: For some odd reason, I get the feeling if I attack Iskall, it’d eventually turn into him seeing how bad a fighter I truly am, and he’ll end up trying to teach me. 10/10 I’m not passing up an opportunity to be taught. 4/10 Even at my best, I’d still have a lot to learn.

Jevin: Bitting, scratching and tail slapping’d probably split him into an army of smaller, angry Jevins, and I’m not dealing with that. 1/10 No. 1/10 No.

Joe: I wouldn’t fight this man, but I would bring him to Cleo in case she wanted to take his knee caps. 10/10 What if Cleo needs his kneecaps? 10/10 I’mm’a get Cleo those kneecaps.

Keralis: My claws are too curved to just poke him in the eyes. Besides, it’d probably be more fun to watch him struggle and squirm like he did when Etho tried to kill him. 8/10 Would fight. 5/10 Losing would probably be me getting bored and leaving Papa K alone.

Mumbo: Unlike half the fandom, I don’t see Mumbo as a lanky boy. He also does Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I don’t, so that’s gonna be a fight. Granted, Mumbo’s a giant, non-confrontational dork, so that makes my choice harder. 5/10 Would I even fight him? 5/10 I’d probably stand a chance.

Rendog: Yeah, my brain doesn’t short circuit when I run into horny. At best it’s acknowledged when I’m not set on murder. 7/10 I might ask him to square up if I’m bored. 5/10 Might be an even fight.

Scar: Same situation as Cub, but not at the same time? Let me explain. There’s a chance he’ll cast the same spell as Cub, but there’s also a chance he’ll forget to, and I can get a swipe on him before...well have yall seen that video where a dog attacks a kid on a bike, and then the cat comes out to mess up the dog? Imagine I’m the dog, Scar’s the kid, and Jellie’s the cat, and you’ll know how well that fight’ll go. 0/10 No. 0/10 No.

Stress: This girl can carry massive pumpkins halfway across the server on one strength potion. I’d fight her just to see how far she can yeet me. 10/10 For the yeet. 4/10 If she doesn’t yeet me, it might not go well.

Tango: This man builds massive minigames, and wrangles ravagers. I more feel like I’d get trapped in a moving maze to fight ravagers for like half an hour before he gets bored watching me struggle. 9/10 It’d be a fun way to spend an afternoon. 4/10 Doesn’t mean I’m good at fighting ravagers without full iron armor.

TFC: I respect the man of the earth too much to fight him. 1/10 No. 1/10 No.

Vintage Beef: The blood on his apron does not override his vibing man vibe. 1/10 No. 5/10 If I must, I feel like I’d have a fair shot.

Wels: He’d probaby come up with some sick diss track lyrics on the fly... and then have to teach me how to rap battle after I say “I don’t get it.” 1/10 I don’t think this’d even qualify as a fight. 3/10 I feel like my poetry skills are lacking.

xB: Another vibe man. No, I shall not fight him. 1/10 No. 5/10 I probably could do decent if I had to.

Xisuma: I’d attack him thinking since he’s a bee, one sting and he’s done, only for him to use his formal Doom Guy Training:tm: to body slam me so hard I’m banned from the server. 10/10 For the meme. 1/10 I’m not avoiding that body slam.

Zedaph: You all are thinking “Funny contraption man can’t fight,” when from what I remember of @lyraeon and I talking about the subject once is in PvP, Zed’ll run at you swinging and screaming. To me, this is a more fair assessment of Zed’s abilities, and is what I’m going off of when thinking about if I’d fight him. Thought, I probably won’t attack if he’s working on something. 5/10 Right now, he’s the only vibing man I might actually consider fighting? 5/10 Might be an even fight.

Zombie Cleo: She won’t fight me. Instead she’ll convince me to let her set up an army of living armor stands to fight. I would not attack her cause she’d give me more stuff to fight when I’m bored and combative. 1/10 No, I’m not fighting my supplyer. 1/10 If she decided to sick an army of armor stands on me, I’d probably lose.

#hermitcraft

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votederpycausemufins · 3 years

Text

i don’t think i’ve managed 3 chapters in one day before. and before you say anything, yes i did all my work first, i just wrote really fast.

@petrichormeraki

“Mumbooooo.” Grian gave a sickly moan as Mumbo continued to watch the cooking pumpkin seeds. “I’m hungryyyyy.”

“Be patient. Furnaces only work so fast and while smokers are faster, you always disapprove of how they come out.” Mumbo half scolded the builder.

“They taste funny like that.” Grian complained. Mumbo rolled his eyes and took the baking sheet out of the furnace, placing a second sheet in the now empty space.

“Alright, they’re done now.” He put the seeds into a bowl and then carefully carried it up the ladder to Grian’s nest. “Here you go. I’ve got more cooking now and-” Grian snatched the bowl from Mumbo’s hands and gobbled them up. “And I’m glad I decided to make more. How are you feeling?”

“I feel like I’m about to start molting and my head feels all buzzy.” Grian groaned before stuffing more seeds in his mouth. “Will you still loooove me with all my feathers gone?”

Mumbo covered his face. “Grian, I think you’re delirious.” Oh come on, isn’t it obvious what he means? Mumbo stopped covering his face to look below them. “Hey! Iskall is that you? We don’t need you bothering us right now.”

Grian looked down where Mumbo was looking. “Is Iskall here?”

Mumbo shrugged. “Someone is.” You know, why don’t things burn in furnaces? Mumbo stood up to try and get a better look. “Alright, who is it? Grian’s sick so he really should be left alone.”

Next to him, Grian looked around. “Mumbo? Are you okay? I’m not hearing anyone.”

“What do you mean? They’re quite clear.” Why doesn’t Mumbo just make a super smelter for the seeds instead of cooking them by hand. Bird Grian is best Grian. Guys, which is worse, spoon brain or bird brain. Spoon brain. Spoon brain. Def spoon brain.

Mumbo was looking around him. The voices no longer just being a sentence made him realize that they sounded much closer. Too close for them to be a Hermit on the ground. “What the devil?” He couldn’t see anyone, but he kept hearing people.

“Mumbo? Are you okay?” Grian, though sick, looked confused. Reluctantly the redstoner gave a short explanation and what little color was left on Grian’s already pale face seemed to vanish. “No. No th-they just said they were leaving.”

Mumbo was suddenly being hugged and was enveloped in Grian’s wings. “Grian, what’s going on, what are you going on about.”

“Can you please call Iskall?” Mumbo tried to argue. “Please?” He sounded so worried that Mumbo agreed and before long Iskall had arrived.

“Mumbo? Grian? Are you in here?”

Before Mumbo could say anything, Grian was answering. “Iskall they’re gonna take Mumbo away from meeee!”

Iskall climbed up the ladder to find Grian using his wings to essentially pin Mumbo. The builder looked like he was on the verge of crying while the redstoner looked confused. “I’m guessing he’s not feeling much better?”

“Definitely not. Though to be perfectly honest I’m not sure i’m feeling quite the best myself.”

Iskall sighed and shook his head. “Alright, what seems to be the problem?”

Again, Mumbo didn’t get a chance to speak. “The vault gods are messing with him now! Pixlriffs wouldn’t let me put a claim on Mumbo and now they’re gonna take himmmm!”

“What about vaults?”

“Mumbo noooooo! Don’t listen to them!” Grian actually started crying now. Mumbo had no clue what was going on, but Iskall seemed to have some idea.

“Hey, they’re not going to be taking him anywhere. They caught us off guard when they took Stress Ren and I but we know what’s happening this time.”

“Wait, are the vault gods the one who made you disappear.” Mumbo asked, receiving a nod from Iskall.

“Why did you have to like vaults so much? Am I not good enough? What did I do wrong?!”

“Grian, calm down, I’m not going to leave.” Mumbo tried to calm the delirious avian. Iskall started to speak, but his words were lost in the middle of all the other voices that reared their heads again. Not wanting to upset Grian, he just asked Iskall to repeat himself, pretending to pull feathers out from his ears though they were really stray ones lying around.

“They won’t really give you any choice Mumbo. They’re just going to take you away if they really want to.”

Mumbo almost spoke but instead nearly fell over as Grian flopped on his back. “I don’t care what Pixlriffs says… I wanna keep him safe!” The avian started using his watcher powers, but that seemed to make him even more sick.

“Alright Grian, calm down. We’re not going to let them take him or-”

Mumbo suddenly found himself in a completely different world. It looked new, or possibly it was just a very underdeveloped area. “Grian? Iskall?” A voice behind him scoffed and he whirled around so see what looked like a young girl who hadn’t been there before. “Who are you?”

The girl rolled her eyes and then pointed to herself. The name’s Drista. And You’re Mumbo Jumbo. Weren’t you listening?”

“Um, I suppose not. I don’t remember that being said.”

The girl crossed her arms and rolled her eyes again. “I guess that makes sense why lots of VGs want you.”

“Veegees?” Mumbo asked, confused.

“Ugh, do they really want me explaining everything to you? I thought being around Watchers and other VG interactors would leave you smarter than this.” Drista jumped down from the stump she was sitting on and crossed her arms. “You like vaults, right?”

“Er, yes. I don’t see why that-”

“And you’re pretty smart.”

“That’s a little debatable and-”

“And you’re hearing voices.” Mumbo wasn’t sure how she knew, but he nodded. “Well, I’m what’s called a Vault God and the other VGs want you to be one too. It’s a big privilege or whatever, so you’re probably going to say yes or something.”

Mumbo shook his head. “What? No. You’re those people who kidnapped my friends and Grian seems like he doesn’t want me saying yes to… whatever all this is.”

Drista waved a hand dismissively. “Your friends were fine, it’s just something we do every however long. It was harmless.”

“They were gone for three months!”

“Yeah, see, that’s not that long. We could have kept them a few years.”

“A few years?!”

“Well we didn’t. We know they don’t always live that long.”

Mumbo rubbed his temples. “And so what, you still think after that I would want to be a vault whatever?”

“Why not? Immortality, amazing powers, stuff like that. You might have to mess with your ‘friends’ a little to keep charged up but otherwise it’s fine. And if you don’t want to mess with them, talk to someone else in the family. I’m sure they’ll let you use their wards for feeding.”

“Feed- Are you vampires or something?!”

“Or something. More just mess with people’s minds, get them hearing voices, and the energy that produces powers you. We put your friends in that world because to escape then needed the help from voices so it charged us up plenty. Sure, we could have gotten other people, but it was pretty funny to get people from such a protected world as Hermitcraft to mess with.”

Mumbo shook his head. “No wonder Grian was so worried. You’re dangerous.”

The girl shrugged. “I mean I guess from an outside perspective it seems bad, but it’s different once you experience it. Here, I’ll let you join the fam for a week and then you can make a decision. If it’s not allowed, I just blame it on the usual scapegoat. I’m with him often enough that it should trick them.”

Mumbo tried to say something, but suddenly he was back in Grian’s nest, finding it empty. “Oh dear, how long was I gone?”

From below, Mumbo heard Iskall speak. “Mumbo? Is that you up there?” The mustached man looked over the edge of the build. “Oh thank goodness. You disappeared and Grian panicked. He went through some weird bedrock portal.”

Mumbo saw said portal standing open a few blocks behind Iskall. “Are you able to go through there after him.”

Iskall shook his head. “I mean I might, but I’d rather not risk it and end up dead or something.”

“That is a fair point.”

They waited a while and eventually Grian came out, immediately jumping at Mumbo when he saw his friend. “Mumboooo! You’re aliveee!”

“Yes, of course I am. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Pixlriffs said I could… wait… M-Mumbo, were you talking with Vault Gods?”

“Yeah.” He answered sheepishly. “At least one of them and they looked like a little girl. Said something along the lines about me being a part of her family for a week? And I assume that means be a Vault God.”

“Mumboooo nooooo!” Grian flopped against Mumbo in a dramatic fashion. This was going to be a long week.

The next week was a mess. Grian couldn’t stay around Mumbo without feeling worse. Instead Iskall had to pass messages between the two. Apparently Vault magic and Watcher magic did not do well together which is why Grian was sick in the first place, and since Grian inherited the hearing voices problem the rest of his family had, Mumbo found himself accidentally pulling them closer to the surface of Grian’s mind.

Instead Stress and Ren were asked to keep Mumbo company for the week. He felt bad with how his newly appointed powers messed with his friends, but they seemed to understand he didn’t really have a choice.

When he was pulled back to the empty looking world, he was relieved that it would finally be over. Drista was there again, though her previously green hoodie was now red. “So, are you convinced now? We can make it permanent and you can hang with us and-”

“Definitely not!” Mumbo shouted before she could continue. “It’s hurting my friends and making Grian sick.”

“Grian? Oh the Watcher. Eh, it is what it is. And it’s not that bad. Maybe a week wasn’t long enough?”

“What? No!” Mumbo felt even angrier. “I don’t care how long you try, I’m going to say no! I may like a nice vault here and there, but obviously that’s not what this is all about! I mean the first vault I made on the server was because of Grian, what would I be without him?”

Drista just watched Mumbo, swinging her legs. She was silent long enough and refused to blink so it was slowly creeping Mumbo out. “Oh alright, fine. I’ve got places to be anyway. Maybe we can try again in the future.” And just like that Mumbo was back home. Stress and Ren were staring at him and asked if he was doing alright. He told them the good news, leaving out the potential of another return visit.

The two were glad to leave and Mumbo was able to fly over to Grian’s base. Mumbo could barely get his elytra off before Grian was hugging him tightly. He looked like if he let go of Mumbo for even a moment, he would disappear. His face pressed into Mumbo’s chest and the redstoner patted Grian’s head.

“You’re not allowed to talk with Vault Gods again.” Grian said to Mumbo, even though that didn’t seem like something either of them could entirely control.

Mumbo chuckled and some words slipped out. “Love you too Gri.” Immediately he slapped a hand to his mouth, expecting Grian to react badly to it. He had in the past, mentioning it was related to some bad memories from back when he was a teen. But right now, he seemed okay. In fact he seemed really okay as he pulled Mumbo’s hand away and gave him a quick kiss.

“Grian?”

“Do you have any idea how much all of that scared me, you spoon. I may have a bad past, but I don’t want that making me act in a way that will get me a worse future. Now come on.” And Grian was pulling Mumbo up to where the nest area had been. There were still bits of wheat around, but it seemed to have mostly been dismantled.

That being said, Grian quickly placed down some more bales of hay and had Mumbo sit on them. It wasn’t until his tie was being removed that he started to panic. “Grian what the devil are you doing?! We just got to kissing!”

Grian looked confused before looking at the red tie now in his hands and then at the equally red face of Mumbo. “What?! No! No no I wasn’t going to do that at all! I just-! I’m going to use Watcher magic on you so something like this doesn’t happen again. But it’s going to leave a mark behind so I thought you would want it where it can’t easily be seen. Especially since some worlds aren’t as happy about Watchers.”

Mumbo nodded. He remembered when everyone first found out Grian was a Watcher and the range of reactions that came from it. “I still would have liked you to tell me before you started taking my clothes off!”

“It would be easier if you didn’t wear a stuffy suit all the time and I could just move the collar! And I already had to wait a week since the Vault Gods were messing with you so I was impatient.”

Mumbo sighed and rolled his eyes. He unbuttoned his shirt slightly and revealed his shoulder to Grian. He tried not to squirm as Grian’s Watcher eyes opened and it felt like he had a bad sunburn on the revealed shoulder. When Grian returned to normal, he looked down to see a bright red Watcher symbol that matched Grian’s sweater imprinted on his skin.

“So… will we have to do that often, or what?”

“Hopefully it should last forever, so should be a more one and done type thing, but we can see.”

Mumbo’s eyes widened with recognition. “You’re a Vault God.” He managed to keep the word ‘too’ from making its way out of his mouth.

“Hmm… must be newer than I thought. You know, I was really wondering why hanging around Techno felt so odd.. I assumed it was the relation to Grian since Tommy was also there one time, but Apparently it was just because you were following them around.”

Mumbo didn’t care. “Vault and Watcher Magics don’t mix. Is that why Grian can’t change back? Are you hurting him doing this?”

Dream shrugged. “I’m pretty sure he’s fine. Besides, it’s easier to work with this way. I’m sure why you send a report back to everyone they’ll let me back in.”

“Are you saying you’re some disgraced vault whatever?” Tommy asked, not having as much information as Mumbo and Dream did.

“Disgraced is a bit harsh Tommy. But I suppose it fits.”

“Did you go after Grian because of what he did to you, or because of his relation to some of the people here?” Mumbo asked, wanting to know why.

“Oh neither. I’ve just been looking for a lone Watcher for a while now. Grian just happened to be the first one I found. Who exactly he was was just a bonus. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like him back so I can continue things.”

Mumbo held Grian closer to him. “No! He- He’s a person! He doesn’t belong to anyone! You can’t just use him like that!”

“On the contrary, I’ve already been doing it and it’s actually been pretty easy.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” Mumbo glanced back at the others. “They were doing fine before you messed around.”

“I’m just trying to teach them all the right way to do things. Tommy messed that up by running off.”

Mumbo just stared at Dream before starting to walk off. “Let’s just try and get to the portal. Hopefully going back will fix things.”

“You can’t just take them. They belong to me! I own this world and they need to stay here.”

“No they don’t. They’re people. You can’t just treat them like they’re things.”

Dream scoffed. “Is that what they’re saying these days?”

“I’m not a Vault God. I’m saying what I know myself.”

Dream didn’t stop Mumbo as he walked off. “If you’re not a Vault God, you’re not fixing that Portal. But something tells me you know that you can fix it, and we both know what that means you are.” Dream smiled and spread his arms giving a somewhat crazed shout. “Welcome to the family! Only a matter of time before you’re just like us!”

#hermit!tommy au #hermit!tommy #grian #watcher!grian #avian!grian #mumbo jumbo #vault god!mumbo #iskall85 #the watchers (evo)#tommyinnit #dream smp #still not a fan of how dream's persona eminates someone... problematic #drista

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pixelfun20 · 4 years

Text

Flower Fields, Ch 1

Summary: Season 7 of Hermitcraft has begun, and their newest and youngest member, Tubbo, is more than ready to prove himself in the eyes of his friends. New memories are made and friendships are forged, but old ghosts from the past still linger, and Tubbo will soon discover that fate has a way of letting things come full circle.

Notes: This an fic idea I legitimately came up with yesterday, based off of @give-grian-rights ‘s Watcher!Tubbo and Watcher!Tommy AU (I hope you don’t mind! I just loved this idea). I wrote this a single evening, let it sit for the night, and decided to publish it today. I hope you guys like it! Just to note, I haven’t finalized a title (or plot, besides some major points) yet, so if y’all have any ideas, let me know!

Chapter 1:

I'm not yours, and you're not mine

But we can sit and pass the time

For a moment, he floated in darkness.

Then in the next, he was falling through the air.

He didn’t fall far, thankfully, and his impact was cushioned by another body right underneath him.

Tubbo groaned, blinking against the bright rays of the sun as he tried to adjust from the darkness that had just encompassed him. He shifted, feeling rough cloth underneath him, and realized he was lying on someone.

“Oh! Sorry!” He exclaimed, swiftly moving off the other. He looked down as he saw a man with dark brown hair, a beard, and a leather jacket sit up, rolling his shoulders with a wince. “I think I spawned right on top of you, xB.”

xBCrafted just chuckled, pulling himself up to his feet. Tubbo followed him, cracking his back as he went, and looked around, trying to discern where he was.

Ah, man. It seemed like they had spawned on a small, sandy island, that was, worst of all, completely devoid of trees. Already it was crowding with the arrival of the other Hermits, with a few more pairs repeating the same situation as he and xB, spawning one on top of the other in the enclosed space. In the distance, he could see a large mooshroom island looming above the waves, but besides that there was nothing in sight.

“Looks like we’ll be going for a swim today!” xB chirped as Iskall spawned a foot or so away from them, landing face-first in the sand. “X wasn’t lying when he said we’d have a tricky time starting the Season.”

“And here I was hoping to stay dry,” Tubbo sighed as Iskall shot up, spluttering sand in the air. The two of them laughed at his sorry state.

“Very funny, you two,” the elder man grumbled. Iskall85, or Iskall as he was commonly known, looked considerably older than the two friends, perhaps in his early thirties. He had semi-long, scraggly brown hair and a cybernetic eye, as well as a green sweatshirt and brown vest.

“Oho, is that Scar?” xB exclaimed. Tubbo followed his gaze, and sure enough, a man in a purple bathrobe and dyed-white hair had just spawned, half in the water. Ah, GoodTimesWithScar was an odd one, alright, he thought with a laugh.

“What did he do?” Tubbo giggled. Scar turned towards them, seeming to hear his comment, and put his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry, Tubbo,” he announced semi-solemnly. “The wizard life has chosen me.”

Iskall nearly cackled at that, throwing his head back, and xB and Tubbo joined him. Trust Scar to find new and creative ways to start the season! Tubbo made a mental note to drop by in a few weeks and see where this new bit got him.

“Looking good, Scar!” Stress said, coming up behind him. The shortest of the Hermits, she wore a pink jacket and kept her straight brown hair short and to the chin. “How’re you doing, Tub?”

“Great!” Tubbo chirped back. “Excited to start the Season right.”

“Let me know if you need anything, love,” she added, clapping her hands together. “That goes for all of you! I’d chat for longer, but Mumbo and I have some plans we need to discuss. See you all in a bit!” And with that she was gone, hopping over to the other side of the island. Scar went right on her heels, jogging over to Cubfan135 (a balding man in a lab coat around Iskall’s age), who was standing next to Mumbo Jumbo.

Tubbo scanned over the rapidly growing group of people, grinning once he caught sight of a flash of black-striped yellow armor in the crowd.

“Hey! X!” He called out, waving. A man fully covered in armor, painted to resemble a bee, looked over to them. Through his vizor, Tubbo could see the corners of his brown eyes crinkle in the tell-tale sign of a smile, and he approached the trio. “Love the outfit!”

“Thank you, Tubbo,” XisumaVoid replied, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m quite liking your new design, too.”

Tubbo fought back a blush, looking down at himself. Like the elder man, he’d changed up his usual outfit to celebrate the newest mob addition to Season 6, the bees. He’d changed into a yellow jacket with black stripes on the sleeves over a gray shirt, as well as black pants with a yellow stripe down the sides.

“Alrighty, I’ll be leaving you two to your father-son bonding,” Iskall cut in, waving a hand as he walked off. “I’m going to go catch up with Keralis.”

“Oh, will you stop with that!” Xisuma said good-naturedly as Tubbo really did his best not to blush. xB laughed again. Iskall just whistled, walking over to where Keralis, a man in his late thirties in a blue shirt and jeans, had just spawned. The server’s admin turned back to Tubbo. “Sorry about that. You know how he can be.”

Tubbo just shook his head a bit, trying to suppress a smile. Ah, it’d been far too long since the Hermits had all been in one place like this. He’d missed the action of it all.

He, Xisuma, and xB chatted together for a few minutes as everyone spawned in and caught their bearings. It seemed everyone had big plans for the Season. While he and Xisuma had gone with a bee theme, xB was apparently planning to really Hermit out the season, far away from spawn. Scar was certainly embracing the wizard part of himself, and rumor had it BDubs and Doc were going to be neighbors, which was a recipe for disaster and, more importantly, funny stories.

“Okay, everyone!” It was Keralis’ shout that drew the twenty-some players out of their respective conversations. Almost unconsciously, they’d formed an oval around the perimeter of their tiny spawn island. “Intro time! Let’s go, X!”

“What? Why me?” Xisuma protested, but Keralis just laughed and took his place back in the circle.

“C’mon, admin,” Tubbo teased him with an elbow to the side. Xisuma sighed, rolling his shoulders, then stepped out into the center of the island.

“Alright everyone. Welcome to Hermitcraft Season 7! Go!” He clapped his hands together and dashed back towards the shore, the circle immediately breaking up as the Hermits split into their groups and dove into the ocean. Tubbo laughed as he waved goodbye to xB, who took off in a different direction as he went to follow X.

The water was nice and lukewarm, and soon enough Tubbo was backstroking over the ocean. He looked up at the bright blue sky, and smiled.

~~~~~~~~~

They spent most of the first day collecting supplies.

As it turned out, both FalseSymmetry, Hypnotizd, and ZombieCleo had decided to go in the same direction as he and Xisuma, so they ended up gathering their first bits of wood and stone together. Then there was some issue with the server that caused Xisuma to have to dive deep into the server code, in the open, at midnight, so their first night went without much sleep and with a lot of mob fighting instead.

“Well,” Cleo said the next morning, twirling her axe as Tubbo set to cooking some meat for breakfast. “That could have gone better.”

“I think the first night went just fine, thank you very much,” False shot back, sharpening her newly-minted stone sword. “I’m going to be honest, though, I’m not used to going out at night without an elytra. Or armor. Or a decent sword.”

“Hey, but did you see how many mobs I killed?” Tubbo put in, pulling out some pork chops and tossing one to Cleo. “I’m a god, I tell you.”

“Yes,” Xisuma replied. He was still sitting on one of the beds they’d made, and was double checking some of the code. “God of giving me heart attacks.”

“Not my fault you messed up part of the code! I saved your life!”

“I’d suggest you remember who bandaged that arrow wound, kid.”

Tubbo’s hand flew to his shoulder, where his jacket was torn slightly, and he blushed. “I’m not a kid!”

Everyone turned and gave him a flat look, and Tubbo blushed harder, looking down. It was no secret that he was, by far, the youngest person on the server. Most players were in their late twenties, like False and Impulse, to their late thirties, like Scar and Doc. Even the youngest before he’d arrived had been Mumbo and xB, at 24 and 19 respectively. At just barely 16, Tubbo was, well, a child compared to them.

Loathe as he was to admit it. It had been hard enough in the beginning, when he’d arrived unexpectedly at the beginning of Season 6. No one had been expecting any new players to join that Season, much less a mentally scarred 14-year-old, and he’d ended up being coddled for the first six months or so. Heck, he’d lived with Xisuma until he’d grown so tired of it he’d had to run off and make his own base without asking him, because the answer would have been no.

He was perfectly capable of living on his own! It was just… well, Tubbo knew he wasn’t as good as the others. He couldn’t make the huge, rolling complexes or over complicated redstone machines that did everything for you like the other hermits did. Of course, it made sense; he had a lot less experience and was still learning these things. But it didn’t help the fact that the others, well, they didn’t look down on him, per se, but they were always a little too willing to help, a little too protective.

“Sure,” Cleo was drawling teasingly, drawing him out of his thoughts. Tubbo snorted and looked down at his breakfast with a shake of his head, starting to eat.

“Oh, let him be,” Hypno put in, grabbing some food for himself. “I remember being that age. Young and ready to take on the world. At least he doesn't have any creaky old bones. I’m already feeling my back in the mornings.”

“Alrighty then!” Xisuma announced after a moment of silence, rising from his bed and closing the admin screens. “Looks like all the post-spawn bugs have been taken care of. I’m ready to head out for the day.”

“I guess this is where we all say goodbye, then,” False replied, twirling her sword. “I have the best idea for my base this season, but I gotta go north from here.”

“Tubbo and I are heading east.”

“West for me,” Cleo put in.

Hypno just shrugged. “I figured I’d wander for a bit before settling down.”

“No planning?” Tubbo asked, then grinned, glad for the change of subject. “I like your style, Hypno.”

The bandana-ed man inclined his head at him with a smile. He wasn’t a new player to the server, not at all, but from what Tubbo knew he hadn’t been around for a few years. Prior to the last few days as they’d prepared to jump Seasons, he’d hardly even heard of the man before, and thus didn’t know him too well.

Xisuma clapped Tubbo’s shoulder, eyes crinkling from that helmet-obscured smile of his.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

Tubbo whooped. “Bees, here we come!”

~~~~~~~~~

Perfect.

That was the only way Tubbo could describe the place he’d come across. He sat in the branches of one of the tallest trees in the area, looking out to where the forest he’d been traversing ended and the plains biome, scattered with flowers in small patches around, with gentle hills rolling even further in the distance.

It was an idyllic location, and perfect for his plans for the Season.

Another day had passed, marking it Day 3 of Season 7. After that first somewhat disastrous night, he and Xisuma had separated from their initial group and travelled to find a base together. Xisuma had decided, for some reason, that he was going to build his base in the middle of the jungle, so they had set up camp there for the night. Come dawn, however, Tubbo was ready to go and scout for a place of his own, and with a promise to check in with Xisuma every day or so, he’d set off that morning.

It was early afternoon, now, and honestly, Tubbo was pleased with how quickly he’d found his spot. It was only a half-day’s journey, while walking, from Xisuma, so once he’d gotten elytra he’d be able to visit whenever he wanted. Besides that, news had it that Keralis and Beef were only a little ways out, which would be fun since Tubbo didn’t know them too well.

Humming quietly, Tubbo reached into his inventory and took out the only belonging he’d taken with him from Season 6－a medium-sized notebook, filled with sketches and notes on what he wanted to build and how to do it. Last Season he hadn’t been ambitious enough; Tubbo had started late thanks to living with Xisuma and then had focused on just having a base of his own that by the end of the season it had looked puny compared to the many buildings his friends/guardians had made.

He wasn’t making that mistake again. Tubbo had grand plans for this Season’s megabase, and he was going to make sure it blew everyone else out of the water.

Okay, maybe that was an over exaggeration. But Tommy had always said to aim high.

His heart twisted a bit, as it always did when he thought of his old friends. Back then, he’d known people his own age, and Wilbur and Techno had rarely held back against him when they’d interacted with him, whether through words or PvP.

He wondered how they were doing; it’d been almost two years since he’d last seen or heard from them. He wondered if they’d moved on.

He wondered if they knew he was still alive.

Tubbo shook his head, chasing the depressing thoughts out of his mind. He’d found himself thinking of his old friends less and less over the last year and half, as he’d settled into life in Hermitcraft and begun to heal from what had happened to him. Not to say he didn’t miss them, that he wasn’t missing something in his life, but, well. Even though he thought of them every once in a while, the numerous letters he’d written to Tommy, unable to be sent, had been left behind with Season 6, in a way of really starting anew.

Doc had explained it best. Life moved on, and sometimes it was best to just hold onto the old memories and work on making new ones.

He’d taken that advice to heart. Tubbo flipped open his notebook to one of the middle pages, holding it out and comparing his sketch to the open plains before him.

Yes. This biome would do quite nicely.

Season 7 was going to be something great.

#tubbo #tubbo_#xisuma #xisumavoid #xbcrafted #iskall85 #hermitcraft #hermitcraft season 7 #watcher tubbo #watcher au #fanfiction #fanfic #hermitcraft fanfic #Hermit!Tubbo AU #I have no self control #And no idea how long I'll roll with this #but I"m quite liking it so far

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writing-the-end · 3 years

Text

LoL Chapter 33- One For Two

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

The architechs face their most dangerous battle yet, alone against the Magistrate himself.

And not all survive.

Warning: This chapter features major character death (temporary), blood, impalement, and other dark themes of death. Please use caution proceeding

______________________________________

“Mumbo? Mumbo wake up.” Grian hisses, his wings puffing up at the sound he hears in the distance. Iskall has already run out of the tent the architechs were in, going in search of the noise. But nothing can muster consciousness from his best friend, and unfortunately Grian must resort to ulterior measures.

He drags Mumbo’s bedroll out of the tent, clambering to hold the limp form. And takes off into the air. The sudden jolt skyward does wake Mumbo up, and he sheds his bedroll like a butterfly from it’s cocoon. “G-Grian, put me down! This wasn’t funny the first time, it’s not funny now!”

“Maybe if you weren't’ such a spoon and wake up this wouldn’t happen. Iskall and I heard something. It was getting closer, so he went to look.” Grian chuckles, and can’t help but give Mumbo another scare. He lets go of the multi-mage, but only for a second. Less than that, before he grabs hold of Mumbo by the pits. His cackle is only as loud as Mumbo’s scream, and they both return to the ground.

The nice, safe, hard ground. Mumbo is still trying to reclaim his heartbeat, though the sound of lightning crashing nearby does little to help. A second later, Iskall runs from the brush of the forest. “It’s a husk, a nue.”

As if in response to Iskall’s words, an eerie cry bounces off the bark and through the canopy. All three architechs are attracted to the bonechilling noise, the magic of the beast calling them closer. “We have to find it- there has to to be a reason a husk would be here.” Grian states, picking up the pace, following the noise through the forest. Leading him deeper. “Maybe there’s a crystal, or something that Dolios is doing here.”

Iskall chases after Grian, after the noise, and Mumbo stumbles after them, taking up the rear. Sometimes he catches just a glimpse of the beast, the grey and black stripes or the snake tail passing between brambles and bushes. He can’t stop himself from following the beast, the whimpering cry luring them all deeper and deeper into the woods.Until the trees part, and the moonless sky opens up.

And sitting in the center of the clearing, an enormous, ebony gem eeks it’s black tendrils into the verdant grass. Iskall peers into the darkness, noting how little the crystal has spread the dark magic. “It’s brand new. It was just placed here.”

“Perhaps the nue was it’s first victim.” Mumbo shakes his head.

“Or it was sent with the crystal to protect it as it made root.” Grian adds, stepping forward. His wings ruffle, the feeling of being watched a second too late.

“Neither, as a matter of fact. It was purely to lure you in.” His voice is so clear, so crisp, running ice down their spines. They turn, eyes settling on Magistrate Dolios and his charismatic, calm smile. He’s sitting on a rock, resting against the boulder like it’s a throne, cheek pressed against the palm of his hand and legs crossed. He almost looks bored, would it not be for the easy smile, the hunger in his eyes. The nue appears beside the magistrate, smoke and ash billowing from the fragmented figure. Dolios reaches out, fingers running from the glowing white eyes of the monkey head, running down the spine, before twisting the cobra tail between his fingers. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? A fresh crystal, ready to gather as much magic as it can hold.”

Iskal summons his magic, iskallium energy ricocheting up his arm as he stands ready for battle. “I’m going to destroy that crystal. Then, we’ll destroy you.”

Dolios’s smile never fades, even as he shakes his head. “You never stop, do you? These past few weeks, you and your band of heathens have been going all over Lairyon, destroying all my hard work. These crystals are important to me, you know. I can’t just replace every last one in the blink of an eye. It takes time.” Dolios stands, striding past the three. The purple fabric of his robes dance along the grass, sauntering to stand before the crystal. “But I’m quite proud of this one. It took me weeks, and you get the honor of being the first people to see it work.”

Mist swirls from the stone, then strikes out. Like whips, they bend around their master, who continues to smile with his hands tucked behind his back. Grian bowls to the side, knocking Mumbo out of the way before the magic can take hold. Iskall lets loose the ball of energy, sending it flying into the mist. Dispersing it, and crashing into the crystal. Another attack, this time with Grian warding off the magic. In a heavy beat of his wings, slashing the air with wind, he skips above Dolios and the gem, flanking him from the side.

Dolios shakes his head, not focused on Grian or Iskall. His eyes remain trained on Mumbo, who’s struggling just to summon his magic. “So much magic, wasted in such a pathetic form. You don’t even know what to do with it all. I don’t need your magic- just the power.” He looks over his shoulder, stepping aside when another sheer wind threatens to even ruin his hair. “The angel, on the other hand. What I wouldn't give for his magic in my repertoire.”

“You’re no multi-mage!” Iskall shouts, throwing a rod of iskallium at Dolios’s feet. Giving Mumbo a second to flee, to focus on his magic. “You’re just a mega thief of doom!”

“Quite the hyperbolic speech, young man.” Dolios snickers, grabbing Iskall by the arm with nothing more than his mind. No matter how hard iskall fights, he can’t get free. “An S-Class of your caliber is quite enticing as well. This whole team you’ve got is stronger than most of those idiots that call themselves the Council.”

Iskall continues to fight for his freedom, while Grian is battling off the mist that threatens to engulf his friend. Dolios is so focused on capturing Grian, on draining Iskall’s lifeforce that he’s completely ignored Mumbo. Why would he bother? Mumbo can’t even summon his magic at will.

But if there’s one way to bring Mumbo’s powers to fruition, it’s hurt his friends. Black mist squeezes past the winds that flow from Grian’s wings, striking through Iskall like an arrow through the chest. Iskall stumbles, skin growing grey and pale, flaky. He continues to fight through the pain, despite his strength being sapped.

Mumbo’s shaking hands go through the motions of summoning his magic. Palms out, coming together and fingers blooming like a flower- or a redstone circuit. Driving his magic from within, organizing it in a way he can control, until the circle glows bright and lightning appears in his hands.

No one hurts Mumbo’s friends. He gives Dolios a taste of his own medicine, sending the bolt of lightning straight into his chest. Dolios stumbles backwards. Red appears beneath the blue capelet, burn marks and blood crawling from the magistrate’s neck. He turns, eyes boring into Mumbo’s soul, and for a second Mumbo worries if Dolios can drain his power just by looking at him- like a gorgon or something. Dolios only chuckles, brushing his hand and waving the mist away. “I knew it was in there somewhere. You’re just too weak and naive to find true power. Unlike me.” Dolios summons his circle, dark magic coursing through each skittering line and curve. “Don’t make me waste my time on you, I still have to steal the angel’s magic. Just become a good, useful husk alongside your fri-”

The sound of cracking silences Dolios. The magic circle disappears, the magistrate whipping his curly ponytail around to see what is going on behind him.

He was so busy berating Mumbo, he didn’t notice Grian and Iskall. Despite Iskall’s weakened state, looking almost husklike, the two S-Class wizards pool together their magic, and launch it into the iskallium spike thrust into the core of the gem.

It shatters to pieces, fragments raining down over Mumbo and Dolios. The dark magic fizzles and dies, the energy stored in the gem returning to the earth. Where it belongs, rather than trapped in Dolios’s machinations.

But with each crystal fading back to it’s milky quartz color, the magistrate’s eyes grow darker. An anger fills his eyes, turning his smile into a sneer, lips curling and bearing perfect white teeth. Iskall laughs, whooping and dancing. He already feels so much better, the rosy color returning to his cheeks and the brown of his beard flourishing. “Take that, creep!”

Dolios stares at the broken crystal, then drags his gaze to the architechs. “Do you know how long that took me to corrupt? And you two cretins destroy it on it’s maiden voyage?” He chuckles and closes his eyes. Sts a hand against the sun-shaped clasp at his throat. “I’ll admit, there’s more power in you than I thought, Iskall. Your strength would have been so filling for me and my creation, you’d make such a good husk. Shame I have to kill you now.”

His eyes snap open, the hungry fervor for blood filling the ambered blue eyes. A predator stalking it’s prey, cornering it for the final blow. His smile holds no joy, none of the calm, charming light it masked the monster with. Now it was a cold snarl, teeth baring for his quarry.

Without a snap or a wave of his hand, Dolios’s circle appears and is cast. Power surges around the magistrate. He crosses the length of the clearing in two long strides. Grabbing Iskall by the collar and pinning him against a tree. “Why don’t you just hang awhile, Iskall?”

Dolios steps back, a branch has grown through Iskall. Bloodsoaked leaves and wood snagged through clothes. Iskall no longer struggles. He no longer spits curses or taunts. His head is limp, eyes closed.

Horror is written across Mumbo and Grian’s face. They knew Dolios was a murderer, a monster that was leading all of Lairyon behind a veil of prosperity, but to see it in action…

And he wasn’t done. He turns, and advances towards Mumbo. Grian tries to stop him, blowing gale force wind, but Dolios raises his hand. The blades of grass grow, forming a wall between him and Grian. Not even the feather shaped throwing knives could penetrate the greenery.

A scream echoes the clearing.

Then the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. From behind the grassy screen, Dolios steps over a limp hand, redstone mixed with blood. The grass shrivels and dies, revealing Mumbo’s body. Despite the blood on his throat, Mumbo’s mustache was still perfectly combed. “Mumbo?” Grian whimpers, “Mumbo wake up.”

A weak whimper escapes Grian, forced to stare at his two best friends dead before him. And him- the guild healer- was unable to stop it. Grian’s vision turns red and purple. Dolios digs his shoes into Grian’s gut, sending him sprawling across the ground. “Now that they’re cared for, let’s get onto more important matters.”

“I’ll cut you down!” Grian shouts, rising to his feet. Not a thought in his head, singularly focused on one thing- avenge his fallen brethren. One moment, Grian is halfway across the clearing. The next, his fist is colliding with Dolios, the force of a hurricane behind him. As his hand collides with Dolios, a crack of thunder echoes from the storm above. Summoned by Grian’s magic, the anger boiling with his blood.

Lightning cascades from the sky. Ripping through the air, directed towards the magistrate. Volts of electricity barreling to destroy him where he stumbles back from the punch.

The lightning strikes.

Not Dolios. A shimmer of light ripples between the bolt and the magistrate, magical shield turning the lightning back on it’s wizard. The bolt bounces off the light shield, and strikes into Grian’s chest. One second Grian is standing, ready for any battle that Dolios offers. The next, he’s on the ground, body spasming against the shocks that run across his nerves, burns spreading from the impact. “You’re different from the last angel.” Dolios muses, snapping his finger. The husk nue, disappeared in the night until needed by it’s master, presses massive clawed feet onto Grian. Dragging sharp claws into his back and wounding him further. The primate face snarls, foaming for the hope to rip Grian to shreds. “At least you had the dignity to stand and fight. But in the end, I always get my quarry.”

Dolios turns away, flicking his hair over his shoulder and peeking back at Grian. And he starts to walk away. The shadow beast disappears, returning to it’s master’s side. Grian struggles to rise. “Where...get back here! I’m not done with you!”

“No, but I am done with you. You’ve lost, little bird. You know where to find me- make it easier for yourself, and come without a fight. You’ve lost, just accept it.” Dolios turns away, stepping out of the clearing.

And Grian is left alone. Left in the destruction, the death. Left in the shattered pieces of the crystal and his life. Left with himself, the only living soul, surrounded by his dead friends. Tears mix with blood, his chest aching and pain growing as he heaves a sob up his throat before ripping across his lips. They lost. They may have destroyed the crystal, but Dolios got away, leaving only destruction and death in his wake. Like the very magic he spreads across Lairyon.

Grian stumbles to his feet, his muscles refusing to work against the pain of the lightning bolt and the overwhelming grief. Blood falling from his back, strength sapping away. But this doesn’t have to be the end. Not for Grian, not for Iskall or Mumbo. Grian is a sky angel- a healer beyond all mortals. He just has to be fast enough, strong enough.

He pulls Iskall free, collapsing under the weight and sorrow. Rolling his friend over, he places his hand on Iskall’s chest and focuses in.

Light radiates from Grian, and halo appearing over his matted, bloody hair. His wings triple, spreading wide and exuding blinding energy. Each feather is alight in a holy flame, rays beaming from the halo and glowing white eyes opening. The angelic magic twists and dances down from Grian’s wings, running over his own wounds from battle and pulsating through to Iskall.

Pain sears up Grian’s body, but he ignores it to focus on Iskall. Beneath his hands, Grian feels the wound close. Shrink until all that’s left is a raised scar. And then a heartbeat. Iskall’s chest rises and falls, shallow at first but growing deeper with each new breath. From the clutches of death. Iskall bolts upright, his dying cry falling from his lips. Faced with the sight of Grian’s archangel aura blinding him.

Grian doesn’t pause, wings beating against the air and ground. He rises into the air, swooping over to Mumbo. Hands shaking, placing gentle fingers against the wound on Mumbo’s neck. Light sweeps from wings to fingertips, cascading across Grian’s own mortal wounds. Light as bright as the noonday sun, ebbing from Grian’s body and flowing into Mumbo’s corpse.

A gasping breath rasps through Mumbo’s rattled body. He aches, his throat burning like he just choked on something dry and was whipped by a mishappen hand against his adam’s apple. Bright light blinds him. He blinks away the spots in his vision, hand reaching for his throat.

The last thing he remembers is something sharp against his skin, and the Magistrate’s cold, sharp grin in his vision. He doesn’t even know what happened to him until he sits up. Iskall nearly barrels him over, voice swirling around Mumbo but never really reaching him, just a din of death and decay.

He died. Dolios killed him. Killed Iskall, then him. Cut them down without ever easing his smile. So how is Mumbo still alive? He and Iskall both look around, searching for their healer. They discover Grian crumpled between them both. The halo above his head shatters, light fading and feathers falling apart in the wind. Blood pools beneath Grian, his breath faint, eyes closed. Mumbo presses shaking, pale, cold fingers on the fallen angel’s chest.

Nothing. No, wait. It’s still there. But faint.

Iskall and Mumbo don’t waste a second. With Iskall carrying Grian, the architechs flee the forest. Begging for Grian to hold on, just a little longer.

------------------------------------------

Walking away from the clearing, Dolios smiles. That cool, calm smile he knows all of Lairyon is addicted to. Deceived by. He doesn’t need to deal with dragging Grian back to the nearest crystal- he’ll give himself up. Just like they all do, when their hopes are crushed and left with only giving up. Giving in to Dolios. He’ll turn himself in, and save Dolios so much time and effort.

And Dolios cannot wait to finally have angel magic. He won’t waste such rare, unique abilities by simply sapping Grian’s lifeforce, turning him to a husk. No, he intends to take the magic for his own. Leaving nothing left but sky angel magic. His to claim, growing his repertoire.

Dolios laughs, and places two crossed fingers over the golden sun that clasps his cape together. “That cretin that calls himself an angel is being quite the nuisance. But alas, I will succeed in taking his magic. And you would want me to succeed, right dear friend?”

He may have won this battle, but the war is far from over. Dolios’s smile fades. They’re getting too strong. Even with those three out of his way, he needs to deal with the hermits.

Directly

#hermitcraft #light of lairyon #lol #wizard au #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft au #wizard hermits #wizard mumbo #wizard iskall #wizard grian #architechs #mumbo jumbo #iskall85 #grianmc #violence cw #temporary character death cw #major character death #blood cw #death cw

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melon-wing · 4 years

Text

Sleeping With the Enemy 2/?

[PART 1]

It had been a week since the incident with the Ghast. Grian had spend the two days after that holed up in the Concorp Country Club, being doted on by his boyfriends. And there had been a lot of talking about emotions and insecurities… It had really helped. He felt almost ready to tell his friends about everything.

Their next meeting was due today and once the business part had finished he’d do it. And this time he wouldn’t back out. After all his boyfriends had promised to be there for him, no matter what happened.

With a smile on his lips Grian entered the meeting room, still half an hour early, planning to add a few more blocks to his chair. He stopped in the doorway when he saw Mumbo and Iskall already sitting there. They abruptly stopped talking, when he came in and looked at him. Iskall seemed cold, while Mumbo looked utterly confused.

“Am I late? We were supposed to meet at noon, weren’t we?”

“Sit down, Grian”, Mumbo just answered, voice sounding a little pained.

Grian’s smile faltered and he went over to the table. “Everything alright guys? If there was another potato in the system, I promise it wasn’t me. I’ve been busy the last week. I haven’t been in here.”

“Yeah we know that you’ve been… busy. Funny you’d bring up the potato… ‘accident’.” The way Iskall said the word accident confused him. He thought that whole incident had been behind them and was now nothing more than a running gag. They were all able to laugh about it

“Iskall, what is going on?”

“Well...” Mumbo looked at him with so much disappointment in his eyes, he felt taken aback. Mumbo had never looked at him like that, not even when his whole base had been crowded with chicken. “We were sent some information about you.”

Iskall slammed his hands on to the table making Grian jump in his seat.

“You have been working for the enemy!”

“What.? No! I...”

“Well what does this look like to you?!”

Iskall opened the folder and threw some photos on the table right in front of Grian.

Grian stared at the pictures, his eyes widening, his breath quickening, heart rate increasing. Those were pictures of the day the Convex saved him in the nether Hub.

With shaking fingers he took the pictures and looked through them. There were pictures of them hugging. Of Cub kissing him, of Scar kissing him… And then there were a few pictures taking from afar of him hanging out in the Country Club. And a lot of them were even more intimate then the ones in the Nether Hub.

“Grian...” Mumbo’s voice was still calm, a stark contrast to Iskall’s rage. Grian almost wished he’d scream. The sound of betrayal coming from his best friend was even worse. “Tell us what’s going on, Grian. Tell us that this is not true. Tell us you aren’t selling us out.”

Grian wanted to say something, but he just couldn’t find his voice. His throat seemed to close up and he couldn’t take his eyes of the pictures. He just shook his head. This was crazy. This couldn’t be real.

“Don’t lie to us! Those are definitely not fake! This is you!”

“The pictures are real, but I… I’m not...” He said, voice shaking, trying to calm himself down. “I’m not selling you out. I never talk about Sahara to them and they… they don’t talk about Concorp.”

“Doesn’t look like it in the pictures…”, Iskall snarled.

Grian looked at the pictures and took a deep shaking breath.

“Well I’m obviously not talking in those. We were kinda busy with other stuff involving our mouths”, he tried to joke, trying to keep his tone light. It didn’t really work, his voice was shaking too much. In any other situation he would have been amused at Mumbo’s blush. Now though, with the way Iskall was still glaring at him…

“Why didn’t you tell us then? If no information was sold, if it was all so innocent, why didn’t you just talk to us. We talk about everything, don’t we Grian?”

Grian felt a pang of guilt and avoided looking at Mumbo’s face. It was true. He should have just told them all along. He should have listened to Cub and Scar. And now it was all too late and he needed to pick up the pieces of their friendship and try to salvage it.

“I was scared of how you’d react if I told you. I really wanted to. I was just too scared every time I tried. I’m so sorry. But I swear, I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just an idiot in love. And they just happen to be the crazy, amazing people that put up with me”, Grian replied, hoping to see his friends smile again in understanding.

They didn’t.

Iskall still looked angry and Mumbo seemed to become even sadder. What was going on here?

Once again Iskall pulled something out of the folder. Some documents and another picture. He looked at both in disgust, before throwing it over to Grian, who picked it up hesitantly. His eyes were instantly drawn to the picture.

“That’s not me!”, he said, starring at it in confusion. The picture showed someone wearing a read sweater pouring water over some parts of the redstone. He remembered Iskall complaining about someone using water between the redstone. It had taken countless sleepless hours to fix everything. And Grian had been with him, not really helping with the redstone, but just keeping Iskall company and keeping him sane.

“Was it fun? Did you mock me, sitting right next to me, cheering me on to fix the damage you did?” Iskall asked, voice sounding strained with a hint of sadness.

“Well it isn’t me! I didn’t do it! That’s just… I don’t know. Someone wearing a read sweater and one of those damn heads I hid everywhere!”

Mumbo sighed and shook his head, making a vague gesture to the document in Grian’s other hand.

“It’s just… It’s so much Grian, you know? The dots all connect.”

The document was some chat log from their communicator. It said it was a private conversation between Grian and the Convex. Nobody should have that. As he skimmed through it, he realised it was just as fake as the picture had been.

He’d never written those things. His eyes stayed glued to one line in particular.

<Grian> It’s stupid how much they trust me while I’m doing everything I can to sabotage Sahara. Even after the whole potato incident. Bunch of idiots. That’s why we haven’t made even one diamond of profit yet.

“I never wrote this. I can… I can show you my real private messages to them”, he offered hesitantly. Not because he had anything bad to hide, but more so because of the sexual nature of some of those messages.

“You would really...”, Mumbo started, but was interrupted by Iskall.

“You probably deleted everything important. There is no way we can trust you. The decision has already been made. You are no longer a part of Sahara.”

“But… We are all in this together. I founded the Architechs.”, Grian protested.

“Grian...” Mumbo’s voice was still so calm and soft as if he was trying to soften the impact this would have on Grian. “The Architechs no longer exist. Me and Iskall talked about it. We are out. Sahara is no longer an Architech project.” Mumbo looked at Iskall and back to Grian. “You can get your stuff and leave. We’ll… talk again about the diamonds we made until now and the materials you put into this.”

Grian stood up, gathering the pictures and paper. “Keep your diamonds. I don’t need it. My boyfriends are filthy rich after all and according to you, I’m part of Concorp any ways.” He felt so angry suddenly. He almost wanted to shout at them, but he held back. “I’ll wait for your apology once you guys realise how utterly idiotic you are.” Grian tried to keep his voice cold and emotionless as he turned away to jump out of the window to fly away, activating his Elytra seconds before he hit the ground.

He was still in the air over the shopping district, when he heard the sounds of rockets approaching. He knew without looking who it was.

“I don’t want to talk!”, he shouted over the noise of the rushing wind and the rockets.

“Grian! You shouldn’t fly when you are so emotional”, Scar shouted.

Grian just glared at them. There were moments when he hated having magical boyfriends. This was one of them. They probably felt him being hurt and came to his side at once. He felt like he couldn’t hide anything from them and that sucked. Right now he just didn’t want to talk. He just wanted peace and quiet.

“Grian, we can help you. Whatever happened in there, I’m sure we can fix it”, Cub now called from his other side and something in Grian just snapped.

“You? Fix it? It was you guys that got me into this mess in the first place. I wish… I wish I never started dating you.”

Grian regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Scar had been right. He was emotional. Far too emotional. He saw the look of betrayal in Cub’s eyes and turned to Scar only to be faced with an utterly devastated and heart broken expression. And it hurt him so much to know that he was the one who had caused that expression. He needed to get away. He needed to be alone. He needed time to think before he hurt them any more in this state of mind.

And well… He was the best flyer on the server, even when he was emotional. Probably more so when he was emotional and flying more reckless than usually. So he shook his head at them, firing a few of his stronger rockets in quick succession, weaving his way through the buildings. He heard their voices fading away as he left the shopping district behind.

He needed to be alone. He needed some peace and quiet. He needed to think about this whole mess.

After a few more minutes of frantic flying he ran out of rockets and descended to land. He was in a forest. He didn’t really pay attention where he had went but he didn’t care much for his location now. He just needed a place where he wouldn’t be disturbed. He walked through the forest in search for a resting place, when his eyes landed on a small house. It looked like one of the other Hermit’s starter base and seemed to be abandoned. Just to make sure he loudly knocked on the door. But at the third knock the door just opened on its own, apparently not having been locked in the first place. Well that made things a lot easier.

Grian stepped into the house, looking around once more before just letting himself fall down on a couch sitting in the corner. He sighed in content and closed his eyes.

Everything was so fucked up.

He needed Mumbo and Iskall to be there for him. He couldn’t lose their friendship. But how was he supposed to regain their trust? They thought they had definite prove. They probably felt as betrayed as he did at the moment. It was a pity he didn’t have access to his time machine any more. He’d just travel back then and carefully explain his relationship to his friends before shit hit the fan.

But everything would be alright. They had been through so much together. They’d all just need time to cool off and then they’d talk again. Maybe they could get some more neutral Hermits to help them out and mediate… Yeah that sounded like a good plan.

Grian heard the sound of quiet footsteps and sighed. Well they certainly found him pretty fast this time. And he thought he’d have a good hour or two to himself, maybe a whole day if he was super lucky.

“You guys are really persistent, you know that…”, he grumbled, but smiled a little and opened his eyes, expecting to see his boyfriends standing in front of him. They weren’t.

“Xisuma…?”

#🍉 stories #hermitship #you thought this wasn't coming anymore?#Well surprise!#I wanted to post something and this was already done #i wrote it weeks ago #sorry for taking a break #thanks for the kind messages I got :)#I try my best to return to writing more #kissing challenge update will still take a bit #sorry

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

Text

Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!

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star-captain · 4 years

Text

So Much Better

Angst? Yes please! I’ve had the honor to give Red’s au life, to create a story around his amazing artwork. And I can’t help but latch onto the dramatic scene of Edolas Mumbo meeting his Hermit self.

The Edolas team has found themselves in the Hermit world, and are meeting people with the same face, but different personality. Edolas Mumbo’s insecurities rise and boil over when he comes face to face with a better version of himself.

Edolas AU belongs to @theguardiansofredland

Warning: Alcoholism, Violence, drug mention

It’s been some time since the hermits have been open to visitors from other worlds. A new world can be stressful, and it’s best just to keep to themselves while they sort it all out. Better to deal with their own chaos before adding in someone else’s. But eventually, trouble finds them.

From the Edolas world, it was just natural to explore what’s beyond. Xisuma makes it impossible not to be curious about what’s on the other side of his crazy portals he macgyvers together. And when Scar ultimately pushes Mumbo in, Grian has to jump after. Everyone else follows in after, with Impulse being dragged in last by an overzealous Zedaph. Black ground bursts out from the portal, massive stone pillars capturing the energy of floating crystals between the tongs. Purple mist swirls beneath the glass at their feet, every so often lightning snapping across the cloudy air.

“Oh, that definitely didn’t take long.” Scar chuckles, peering over the nether portal. “Though I definitely was expecting visitors of the more...pig variety.”

“Scar?” Edolas Grian coos, tilting his head and looking at the man above the crowd. He has the exact same face, the same voice as Scar, but he acts completely different. He’s...well, he’s cheery, friendly.

“That’s not me man.” Edolas Scar growls, looking at the dopey version of himself before him.

“Aha! I knew it! Alternate Universes! Worlds with the same people, experiencing different choices!” Edolas Xisuma scrabbles up the smooth obsidian monument, practically hopping onto Scar and scaring the daylights out of him. “They are obviously nothing like us! I mean, this Scar here is in his underwear!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault the infinity portal forgot my pants!” Scar whines. He looks across the group, pushing the feral scientist off his perch. They all look like his friends, and yet nothing like the other hermits. It’s creepy. It’s cool. It’s magical. “You should definitely check out the other hermits, then. They’re a pretty awesome bunch, if I do say so myself.”

“If they’re anything like you, they’re bound to be strange.” Mumbo grumbles, keeping close to Grian. He’d rather just go back to his world. He doesn’t want to meet with whatever there is out in this world. And he definitely doesn’t want to see what his alternate self is like. If he’s nothing like Mumbo, then he’s obviously not cool. He’s obviously a dork, a baby. He’s probably...Mumbo shakes the thoughts away from his head. He’s not letting those thoughts give themselves credence. If only he had some vodka on him, there’s no faster way to get rid of such thoughts.

So of course the first person Scar offers for them to see is this world’s Mumbo. “I think him and the other Architechs are doing some sort of get together. I know Iskall and Mumbo are partners, but I don’t know what Grian has to offer. Cactus maybe?”

“Why would this place’s Iskall want to partner with Mumbo? I can hardly stand this jackass.” Edolas Iskall sneers, glaring at Mumbo. Mumbo flips the bird back, hiding it from Grian. He knows Grian doesn’t like getting into arguments, but Mumbo thrives off conflict. He tries to keep it hidden from his friend. To keep him from getting anxiety from the tension.

“Mumbo is a really cool dude. Trust me, his work is amazin. “ Scar cheers, guiding the crew into the depths of the jungle, heading westward. “He’s super smart, he makes these machines that just blow my mind with all kinds of redstone.”

“Definitely the opposite of our Mumbo. I don’t think he can count to ten...unless it’s ten shots.” Edolas Scar hisses, stepping way too close to Mumbo’s personal space for his liking. Mumbo shoves him away, muscles tightening as he listens to Scar talk. Both Scars are beyond annoying, for different reasons. The Scar Mumbo knows is annoying because he’s a prick, a jackass who can’t shut his mouth unless it’s broken for him. This ‘hermit’ Scar is annoying because he won’t be quiet about things. He won’t stop talking about all the amazing achievements that his Mumbo has done. An entire company with automated delivery, walking houses and hands-free machines.

The more Scar talks about Hermit Mumbo, the more Edolas Mumbo hates him. He’s smart, and popular. Even this Scar likes him. Mumbo, on the other hand, struggles to even keep Grian around. Why would Grian want to stay around him? He’s not smart, or popular. He’s not jubilant or silly like this one seems to be. No, Edolas Mumbo is a piece of shit with nothing good to his name. The only thing he’s smart on is the best kind of drinks and drugs, he’s only popular when it comes to seducing people.

The group arrives at the quiet river, the potatoes growing before the circular hovel nestled in the hillside. Across the river, a series of machines are running at lightning pace. Xisuma can’t help being drawn to the inventions, optimized to give the best products in the shortest amount of time. Iron farms working nonstop, sugarcane growing as fast as possible, and a smelter cooking without a single coal wasted.

“Hey Mumbo! I have some friends that would love to meet you!” Scar yells, poking his head through where a door should be. It seems Scar isn’t the only one to fall victim of the Jungle Bandit.

“I wouldn’t say ‘love’.” Mumbo hisses. He winces as Grian slaps his shoulder lightly.

“Be kind, Mumbo. We’re guests, and you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Grian whispers.

Three familiar faces peer out the massive glass window. All three are easy to identify, though some more than others. Iskall still has his emerald eye, but rather than an eternal frown on his face, his cheeks are creased with dimples. Grian has an evil glint in his eye, practically rushing down the ladder to meet the strangers at the doorstep.

The two Mumbo’s simply stare at one another. The same face, same black hair and smooth mustache, on completely different people. Hermit Mumbo’s hair is slicked back, neat and tidy. His mustache is well trimmed, and he wears a well tailored suit. Edolas Mumbo’s hair sticks out in every direction, like he just woke up from a drunken stupor. Probably because he did. Piercings litter his face, cool metal brushing against his frazzled mustache and hair. Mumbo looks at his clothes, dirty and stained with alcohol and...well, other things. He just grabbed whatever was the least dirty, wore it out to party last night then fell asleep in it.

Hermit Grian flies up, locking in on his counterpart. Edolas Grian squeaks, hiding behind Mumbo. “Whoa, I look good in every world.”

Grian tugs on his bowtie, gulping as he dares to look closer at himself. Hermit Grian can barely keep still, bouncing from foot to foot and even fluttering the elytra wings on his back. Mumbo steps back between the two, seeing the mischievous glitter in Hermit Grian’s eyes. He’s seen that kind of trouble before. This one is a little shit. A gremlin. Nothing like the ball of anxiety behind him. Edolas Grian couldn’t even knock over a punching bag without apologizing.

Hermit Grian looks up, surprised by the angry face. He’s not sure if he’s ever seen Mumbo make that kind of a stare. Daggers cutting through him, like some terrifying biker or punk rocker. “I don’t know if I like Mumbo with ear piercings however.”

“Tough, because they’re staying.” If anything, now he wants to get more. Just to spite the gremlin in front of him.

“You’re me?” Mumbo questions, appearing from his hobbit hole. “Wow...I look...I look…” Mumbo is at a loss of words, glancing over his Edolas counterpart. He looks badass, like some guy who knows how to find trouble and win. He’d make a better mole than Hermit Mumbo.

But under the gaze of Hermit Mumbo, Edolas Mumbo can feel every part of him being scrutinized. His sloppy dress, the alcohol on his breath. Every insecurity, every vice and weakness is under a microscope.

“This is the man of the hour, let me just say. I mean, look at this awesome iron farm he just built!” Scar waves the group over to Mumbo’s work. “How many iron ingots does it make?”

Hermit Mumbo scuffles his feet, blushing. “Oh, something like 3,000 ingots and hour. It’s not the fastest, but it’s more than enough for me.”

Mumbo rolls his eyes as the others gasp in awe. What a waste of energy. Who even needs 3,000 ingots? Mumbo can think of a thousand better things to waste his time on than making such ridiculous contraptions. Hermit Mumbo is just lazy. Smart, smarter than Edolas Mumbo, but surely he’s lazy.

At least, until he starts to show his current project. Edolas Grian gravitates towards Hermit Mumbo, enjoying the calm and funny personality. And that infuriates Mumbo. Even his best friend things this useless brainiac is better than him? Grian points at the half-finished machine, in awe with wide eyes. Wrapped into the conversation. “What does this do, Mumbo?”

Hermit Mumbo goes into some long winded explanation, and the second Mumbo hears his own voice, he tunes out. But he can’t help but watch as his own friends are rapt with Mumbo’s words. Xisuma is taking notes at a feverish pace, and even Scar is listening to the suited version of Mumbo.

No one is better than me. Mumbo reminds himself. He may not be as smart, or as popular, or as funny, or as kind as Hermit Mumbo. But he’s cooler. He’s sly, he’s independent, he’s the life of the fucking party. This guy… this guy can’t stop talking about t-flops or whatever.

Edolas Mumbo sneers as Edolas Scar looms close, resting his arm on Mumbo’s jacket. “Would you look at that. Even your best friend prefers this version to you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Mumbo steps back, letting Scar fall flat on his face. But Mumbo looks at Grian, both Grians listening intently to Mumbo show off his spectacular knowledge. The machine starts to fire, turning the farm on and beginning it’s collection.

Even he is better than me. Mumbo can’t build incredible designs, machines that make life easier, that astonish and astound. Machines that Mumbo could never even begin to imagine, much less build himself. He can hardly even get the key of his own apartment into the lock most days. Mumbo can’t make friends, even the people he hangs out with most would rather eat fermented spider eye than call him an ally. He’s not funny unless he’s got a cocktail of drugs mixing up his mind and body. And the last thing anyone, even Grian, would call Mumbo is kind. He’s an asshole, a bastard. A rubbish friend and an even more rubbish person. A waste of space. A waste of time, a waste of effort.

Mumbo rolls his eyes, but he hears Edolas Grian’s bright voice over the amazement of the others. “You’re so cool, Mumbo! You can make all this incredible stuff, and you’re smart enough to explain it all. And kind enough to show us it all, I can’t imagine thinking of all this. This has to be why so many people ask you for help!”

Edolas Mumbo can hear something snap, like a bone breaking in his own mind. His own heart. Grian never called him smart, or kind. No one has ever called him anything except a bastard, or a fucker, or an asshole. He hardly feels his fists clench, looking at his own face. How long has Mumbo wanted to punch himself, to beat himself up? To give him what he deserves? How often has he looked in the mirror, drunk and high, and just wanted to knock himself out?

“Oh, it’s nothing really, mate. I’m honestly not that good, you should see something like Impulse.” Hermit Mumbo overs a shy smile, eyes closed as he smooths back his hair. His awkward chuckle is cut short as a rough grip wraps around his neck. Hermit Mumbo’s legs kick out as the raging grip raises him from the grass. He forces his eyes open, hand grabbing at the tattooed arm- of himself.

“Stop being better than me!” Edolas Mumbo shouts, fists shaking and a prick of tears burning at the corners of his eyes. Mumbo looks down the arm holding him up, head tipped high but eyes glancing down to see his own face. He gasps for air, holding onto the arm suspending him in the air. And despite being physically in peril, he can see that he’s not the one suffering as much as Edolas Mumbo. In shared grey eyes, he can see the pain, the fear.

Edolas Mumbo is terrified. Everyone thinks this Mumbo is so much better- because they’re right. He is a thousand times better than him. Scar prefers him, Xisuma prefers him. Even his best friend, Grian, prefers this Mumbo to him. They’ll ditch Mumbo in no time, in lieu of so much better a version. He’s nothing compared to the amazing, perfect person he has grasped in his hand. He’s just a bastard, someone that everyone hates. Someone that everyone wants gone.

“Mumbo! Stop it, what are you thinking?” Both Mumbos look over, seeing Edolas Grian with tears streaking down his face. Torn between wanting to tell his friend off for being so aggressive, and wanting to calm him down. But for Edolas Mumbo, seeing his best friend crying because of him lets him know that he’s done it again. He’s fucked it all up again, because he can’t handle his own emotions. He can’t control himself, he can’t be anything except a piece of shit and a walking disaster.

Mumbo let’s go of his own neck, lightly setting Hermit Mumbo onto his feet. The tiny tears have grown to full floods, guilt and regret and hatred all boiling over. Despite the soft landing, Mumbo still falls to his knees, trying to regain control of his heartbeat and body. He looks up, wanting to ask himself what the problem was. Why he was more afraid than Hermit Mumbo.

But he’s gone, a cavity bored through the crowd that surrounded him. Hermit Grian steps in, looking at Mumbo’s neck. It’s red, but not bruised. Despite the anger in Edolas Mumbo’s grip, he couldn’t bring himself to actually hurt another person for no reason other than wanting to bring pain to himself. Grian looks at the shaking Grian. “I think he needs some help.”

---------------------------

“Mumbo?” Grian whispers, peeking his head into the empty bar. It’s midday, but he knew that if Mumbo was going to go anywhere, it was here. This is his favorite haunt, where he can get the cheapest prices on drinks, find the best new addictions, and hit up the next morning’s mistake.

There’s only two people in the dark, smoky bar. The bartender, who nods to the end of the line of stools. The darkest corner. Mumbo is surrounded by an assortment of bottles, shots, and whiskey glasses. Mumbo’s head is against the glistening and sticky counter, hand still clutching the current bottle. Grian creeps closer, clambering onto the stool next to Mumbo.

“I thought you’d rather be with that perfect version of me.” Mumbo growls, turning his gaze away from his friend. “And why wouldn’t you, huh?”

“Mumbo, I-” Grian flinches back as Mumbo snaps at him, cutting him off. He can smell the alcohol on his breath. This may not be the first time Grian has had to help Mumbo through a bout of alcohol poisoning. Hopefully he won’t need the hospital this time.

“Just leave me, get something better than this piece of shit. Someone smarter than me, kinder than me. Someone who can actually do something useful with their life. Who’s good at so many things. Redstone, being nice, being funny and friendly and smart and such a great person!” Mumbo grasps the bottle in his hand until the glass shatters, shards digging into his skin. Grian has never seen his best friend so low. He’s afraid, not for his own safety. For Mumbo’s. “And what am I good at? Nothing. Nothing except overdosing in an alley outside a bar.”

Mumbo’s head snaps to the side, cheek stinging and burning red. His eyesight is set straight, free from the drunken stupor for just a moment. Just enough to look back, and see Grian. With his hand still up, and his face creased with sorrow and tears. Deep valleys as he holds back his own cries. Not because he’s sad for himself. But sad for Mumbo. “How could you say such a thing? How could you honestly think that any of us would want you any different than who you are?”

“Because he’s-”

“Because he’s you? He’s not you, Mumbo. He’s got a different world, a different life. A different place that he grew up in. A different set of vices and worries than you.” Grian scoots the stool closer, forcing Mumbo to listen. “He’s smart, and kind. But that doesn’t make us ever want to get rid of you! You are wild, and clever, and there’s not another person in this world that would step into a fight for any one of us. Even for Scar, if it came down to it.”

“Great, so I’m just you guys’s bodyguard.” Mumbo hisses, looking at the glass buried in his fingers.

“No, Mumbo! Just...for once listen to me, for fuck’s sake!” The sharp curse that crosses over Grian’s lips is enough to snap Mumbo back to his words. Grian never swears, he’s too much of a goody-two-shoes for that. “We are your friends because we want to be! We hang out with you because we enjoy it! Just because one person is different than you doesn’t mean you’re any better or worse!”

Mumbo’s voice is gone from his lips, and all he can do is breathe in and out. He can’t think of any retort for Grian’s words. Just one thing. “I messed up, Grian.”

“We all mess up. But the important thing is learning from it. Learning from our mistakes, and being better from it. Maybe...one day we can go back and smooth things over with Hermit Mumbo. But...for now, let’s get you some help.”

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prismarine-parrots · 5 years

Text

Tree of Life Pt. 2

Part 1

Part 3

Part 3.5

Part 4

Part 5 (1) Part 5 (2)

Originally posted: 26 Feb. 2019

Grian's breathing was raspy and broken. He had fallen into unconsciousness a while back, and his symptoms had only been getting worse. The hermits that we're trying to help him were split into two teams- the ones at the top of the base trying to fix Grian's tree, and the ones beside his bed in the main floor trying to keep him alive.

The newest hermit seemed to have been trying to use regeneration and healing potions on his tree to heal it, but they had no effect. Now those potions were being splashed periodically on Grian by Mumbo, Doc, Cub, False and Stress, trying ANYTHING to get the strawberry blond to at least lower his temperature. The ice queen of the server had placed ice blocks around the bed, False had tried giving him a golden carrot and DocM ran and got a spare golden apple from his base, but nothing was working.

In the aviary, Xisuma was tapping away furiously, trying to get the tree to heal using his Admin controls. Iskall had been pouring a couple of potions around the roots of the tree and JoeHills had tried repairing the tree with blocks, but because most of the trees weren't actually vanilla the oak blocks did nothing but slide down the tree when placed next to it. X had even spawned in a command block that Tango was using to try and try different commands to heal the tree that way. The situation was dire and the hermits were starting to panic.

It was a silent, tense atmosphere in Grian's base.

"Why isn't this WORKING?!" False growled when the effects of the golden apple wore off without seeming to have any effect on the sick strawberry blonde.

"Probably because his tree is so sick, it's trying to keep itself alive by not regening Grian," Cub responded seriously as he watched a potion brew before grabbing the flask and dousing Grian with the pink liquid.

"Grian's going to be so mad that his clothes are ruined when he wakes up. That's his favorite sweater," Stress sighed. She hadn't had much to do with Grian, but for the fact that he ALWAYS wore the oversized red sweater with the rolled up sleeves it was obvious he liked it.

"He'll thank us when he's not dead," Doc said simply.

"At least he smells fruity in the meantime..." Mumbo murmured. His wide eyes hadn't left the body of his best friend since Grian had crash landed above. He had been by his side ever since.

Normally someone might have snickered at the random remark, but the situation was too dire to even consider humor.

"Anything?"

"Nope."

"Try now."

"It's not working, X!"

Tango and Xisuma had been going through that sequence for nearly ten minutes now. Using the power of command blocks and server management, they had tried healing the tree, healing Grian, even completely replacing the tree, but the group had horrifically watched the tree deteriorate back to how it was before their eyes.

"How did this even happen?" Joe wondered with a stressed frown. While the pacifist normally would be concerned with his server mate's antics that would give him a heart attack (Grian was a key member of a full-on WAR,) seeing him so far out of it and not healing would make anyone worried. Joe wished that his poetry might help, but even he knew that words couldn't heal a physical body.

"If we knew, we would tell you, but we don't know, so shut up and help us brainstorm," Iskall snapped. "What other ways of healing are there? Beacons have regen," he realized.

Tango shook his head. "They're already using the potions downstairs,"

"What about strength? Could that help?"

"That's physical strength, like punching. I don't think it would help him in that way..."

"You think if we kill him he'll respawn back to normal?" Tango offered hesitantly. Iskall glared at the blonde demon and gestured to the tree.

"Does this look like it would be able to respawn him?" the Swede asked sarcastically.

Tango sighed. "It was just an idea. An unlikely one, but an idea..."

"Yeah well right now we need reasonable suggestions that won't end in a permanent death," Iskall growled. Joe looked between the two nervously, sensing that an argument might break out.

"Have you ever even heard of a permanent death? Even in hardcore mode, you just get plopped into the community hub to continue on with your life after you die."

"What else can we do though? Force food down Grian's throat and hope he heals?"

"Guys, shut up," X muttered, "Your arguing isn't helping either."

Tango sighed and ran his hand through his hair in between his horns and while Iskall continued to glare at Tango, he too did not continue the argument.

"We're all worried, but it's not something to fight each other for," Joe advised with his classic Joe Hills father voice.

Xisuma nodded silently in agreement and looked at the tree in thought as the others went back to brainstorming solutions.

"Does something sound different?" Cub asked, breaking the silence that blanketed the echoey, cool space at the bottom of Grian's base.

"Yeah, I noticed that too," Stress agreed, "But we've just been sitting here, what changed?"

Doc stopped messing with his trident in nervousness and glanced around. The group had all been sitting on the assortment of chests and shulker boxes thrown around the corner of Grian's base, everyone keeping an eye on their sick friend but also being tired of standing on their feet. They had been making sure that Grian stayed under the effects of the healing potions, if only to keep him from losing what little health he had left rather than getting him better, as without the tree being healed that seemed to be impossible.

Mumbo has been sitting closest to Grian, watching over his friend but also slowly starting to zone out in the quiet and stillness of his base. The moustached man blinked and shook his head and watched as the pink swirls around Grian faded away.

False tossed Mumbo another potion, having been the one now manning the brewing stand Cub had gotten from his workshop that he had used to make potions fo the ConCorp War Store when it had been in business.

Stress gasped. "Wait, no!" She stood up with her eyes wide.

"Grian's not breathing!"

That kicked everyone into high gear.

"What?!"

"Oh my gosh you're right!"

"What do we do?!"

"Grian?!" Mumbo exclaimed, reaching over and shaking his friend's shoulder. "Grian, wake up!"

No response. The builder's face was calm and relaxed, his mouth open just the slightest as if he were still trying to struggle to breathe. But Stress was correct- his chest was no longer rising and falling and the quiet Cub and her had noticed was Grian's stillness.

Mumbo took a shaky breath. "GRAIN!"

"XISUMAVOID YOU BETTER HAVE THAT TREE HEALED!" DocM yelled as False was already taking off with her elytra to tell the tech team what was happening.

The hermits across the server felt their phones go off as Cub was frantically texting the server group for anyone who knew some unconventional healing methods they could use. Zedaph, who was online but not involved in this, was asking what happened, and Scar who had been working at the ConCorp Country Club was asking his partner where he had been if he wasn't at the golf course as well. They suggested most of the things they had already tried with no success and time was running out.

The team that had been working on the tree swooped down with their elytra- except Iskall, who decided to fall down and quickly placed down water that he splashed into before the rest of them got down. He didn't stop as he sprinted to Grian's side and did the same that Mumbo had done.

"Grian! Grian, can you hear me?! Do something, dude!"

Mumbo had sunk to his knees beside the cyan bed. "Y-yeah, cmon dude, you're just... pranking us, that's it. But it's not funny, so cut it out and tell us how to help you!" He was trying to convince himself of that, but it was obvious even he didn't believe it.

Doc looked urgently at Xisuma, a silent question being asked. X shook his head, his shoulder sagging and head hanging.

Everyone's phones rang once- a server notification, not chat.

Grian died.

A death message, but not a standard one. No accompanying reason why to tease the hermit about them dying to something stupid.

Just that Grian was dead.

Mumbo dropped his phone and let out a sob. Iskall stepped back in horror. The Brit's body was still there, it hadn't disappeared or turned into puffs of smoke.

There was no respawn for Grian this time.

The server chat was blowing up with questions from the other online hermits, but none of the gathered even had their phones in hand.

JoeHills was the first to answer the others- to tell them the bad news.

joehillsays: Rest In Peace, Grian. We don't think he's coming back.

#hermitcraft #grian #mumbo jumbo #xisumavoid #iskall85 #joehills #docm77 #falsesymmetry #cubfan135 #stressmonster #tangotek #tree of life au #ToL #press f to pay respects #who is mad at me now?#becca writes

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