#thats way less talk than i thought id do
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these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone
#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably#bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice#and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me#bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to#did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others?#no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really#likeable. so ill take what i can get#when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start.#treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember#this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend#will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and#now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen#years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow?#when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her#to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all#and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things#and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk#to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl#because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant#connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just#not have anyone forever#i guess#especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks#Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the#gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normal™. idk how to find the former group irl#and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively#and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday-#anyways. certified magnus archives moment
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i like ace soooooooo much if only i werent so crazy violently possessive then maybe they would like me too but alasWE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN
#i straight up got permission to have yandere ace headcanon from their creator.i mean not directly bc it was in response to an anon i sent#but still they said go for it or whatever and guess what my brain STILL wont fully believe that maybe they wouldnt mind my insanity#thats my best friend.......they wouldnt hate me for something as silly as not allowing anyone to be closer to them than i am...............#and being constantly overbearing and obsessed with them in a totally not-creepy way that best friends normally are.........................#and maybe kinda sorta killing their childhood friend who probably had a crush on them....................................#friends do that all the time right! its fine! its totally fine totally normal we're all good here!#tobi.txt#shoutout to my childhood bestfriend who was mean to me and ended up abandoning me and i was obsessed with anyways You made me like this /hj#known that guy since preschool and i think he always thought i was below him for some reason and he ended up leaving me for the kp/op kids#but still i forgive him for everything and if he wanted to be my friend again id be his bestie again in a heartbeat.Im normal#id do anything if it meant he would be my friend again rlly.and maybe be a lil nicer to me and put me down a lil less but either way.#what are u talking abt im not still a little obsessed with my childhood bestie.i promise#WELL acie is my bestie now and im even obsesseder with them AND ideally they would treat me much more kindly So<3
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IN A WORLD FULL OF BOYS, HE’S A GENTLEMAN ! | TOM BLYTH
PAIRING. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
SUMMARY. despite being in a world filled of childish boys, your boyfriend was definitely a gentleman, always putting you before him
AUTHORS NOTE. the third installment because we love tom blyth and yn avocot. I recommend reading part 1 and 2 for more context!
tomblyth “babe, do you think we’re together in every universe?” is that even a question?
tagged @/ynuser
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ynuser stoppp i didn’t know youd actually take the question seriously
user1 get you a man like tom blyth bc oh my god
user2 idk what yn did to manifest him but i need her ways
user3 ugh idk what he’s doing with her lol he could do so much better
➥ user4 well someone had to say it..
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You didn’t understand how some people on the internet can be so . . . mean. Although there have been countless of fans cheering you and Tom on, it didn’t make it any less hurtful that there were still a ton who weren’t scared to be open about how much your boyfriend could do better.
It’s ironic; you think. They’re claiming they’re looking out for Tom, yet totally disregarding him and his girlfriend as human beings? Those weren’t real fans.
The reason for them hating you so much? Just for simply being with Tom. Everybody wanted him, that was your crime.
Everytime you got lost in your thoughts about this topic, Tom knew. Boyfriend instincts, he called them, but really, he was just a caring and observant person.
You tried not to break down over it, you really did, but a girl could only go on for so long before it all bursts out. Luckily, Tom pulls you right in, telling you to let it all out.
Although the world was filled with childish and hurtful beings, Tom Blyth was still who he was, a gentleman, attending to your every needs.
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tomblyth really dgaf if you like my girlfriend or not cause i do and that’s all that matters
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user5 im cryinf the polaroid he has of her
user6 YES REAL MEN STAND UP FOR THEIR GFS
user7 ALL THE PICS HE HAS OF HER 🥹🥹
tomblythswife oh to be yn avocot and be loved by tom blyth
rachelzegler tell ‘em 🙊
user8 she doesn’t even comment on the posts he makes abt her, so self centered lol
➥ ynuser I’m right next to him rn?? cant say the same thing about you “lol”
➥ user9 OH SHE ATE YOU UP @/user8
tomblyth_daily here are some clips of tom talking about his relationship in his new interview! GET YOU A MAN THATS LIKE TOM BLYTH 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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user10 the way he’s so passionate when talking about her and being a good boyfriend, God I hate being single
user11 “they’re not even that cute” STFU AND GO WATCH THIS INTERVIEW CAUSE ??
user12 tom blyth said put aside your nonchalant attitudes, im looking at YOU MEN 🫵🫵
ilovetomblyth he’s so boyfriend it actually hurts
user13 yn must’ve saved a continent in her past life to be dating tom blyth omg
ynuser girls, before you have a meltdown over a boy: think of what balleona laurent would do. kiss and manipulate coriolanus!
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tomblyth you kiss and manipulate me too
➥ ynuser you’re gonna get me CANCELLED
user14 literal unbothered icon i love her
user15 if i were her id post a tiktok with that audio “he chose me he don’t want you”
iloveyn SHES SO FUNNY
lionsgate us when behind the scenes photo of balleona 😻
➥ user16 lmao stop who’s the admin of lionsgate
user17 balleona is such a bad person but oh is she hot
tomblyth she was like a shot of espresso
tagged @/ynuser
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ynuser i love u more than words can describe blyth
user18 ok who’s cutting onions
user19 GIRLS, GUYS, THEY THEMS, STOP SETTLING FOR BARE MINIMUM WHEN TOM BLYTH LITERALLY CALLED HIS GF A SHOT OF ESPRESSO, GIVES HER FLOWERS EVERYDAY, AND TALKS ABT HER ALL THE TIME IN HIS INTERVIEWS
➥ user20 YELL IT HARDER SISTER 👐👐👐
user21 this is so dark academica im inlove with u guys
user22 parentssss
rachelzegler my favorites
ynuser SNOW LANDS ON TOP LOSERS
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tomblyth yn, i love you but
➥ user23 LMFAOO when he doesn’t finish his sentence
user24 the second pic thank u yn
joshandresrivera on top of u maybe
➥ user25 IM DYING OML
user26 thank you to lionsgate for casting the most hottest villain couple ever
#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow angst#coriolanus snow fic#tom blyth x reader#tom blyth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games
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oh my god oh my god shut up shut up shuuuut the fuck uuuuuup
#i want to slap someone you know?#fun fun to listen to who used to b your crush complain nonstop about their most recent crush bc of a problem like shut up!!!#you literally met less than a week ago!!! you dont know him!!! you dont love him!! thats it thats how far it went for you. 24 hours of hope#do you know what its like to be left hanging for weeks? even months? BY YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIEND? NO? THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP#and dont complain to ME DUDE. IVE BEEN HURT THE MOST . BY YOU. SO STFU PLEASE ITS JUST TIRING#btw i dont think i like her anymore uts just soooo frustrating like listen to yourself for 1 fucking second#id just like her to reflect for 1 minute about all shes done to me you know? you know.#+ its soooo annoying for her to be all omg hes the best about sb she just met + she used to talk that way ABOUT ME#AND THEN SHE WONDERS WHY I (AND EVERYONE AROUND US) THOUGHT SHE WAS IN LOVE W ME. FUCK HER#spikeposting
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id love to request spencer reid with a shy!reader🙈🙈 i love him sm and your work even more!! if this doesn't appeal to you thats all cool i hope you have a great day!!!
Love you <3
Spencer Reid x shy!reader ♡ 1k words
Spencer peers over the top of his cubicle as you type up your report, the mug of coffee he’d brought you still full and no longer steaming. He’s got a hypothesis.
On Tuesday, he’d brought you a coffee at your desk. It had gone over like most interactions with you; you’d gone a bit red in the face, thanked him profusely, and cradled the mug in your hands like it was the most precious thing in your possession. But when he’d left that night, Spencer had seen the mug sitting on your desk, still full to the brim with dark, cold coffee. He’d brought you another today to see if those results would repeat. He feels a bit guilty for not just talking to you about it, but he’s got a theory and he knows you’d deny it if he asked. So instead, he’s sneaking furtive glances over the top of his cubicle, waiting until enough time has passed to call it.
“What’re you peeping at?”
He swivels his chair and Morgan’s leaning his hand on Spencer’s desk all suave-like. Spencer makes a face indicating he should be quiet, but you look up with a quiet “Hm?” and there’s nothing Morgan loves more than exposing him for his schemes.
“Pretty boy here keeps looking over at your desk,” Morgan says. Spencer turns again, and your cheeks are already getting pinkish. Another thing Morgan loves: bringing attention to you, even though it’s your own personal circle of hell. “I just want to know why.”
“I’m testing a theory,” Spencer admits.
Unabashed interest gleams in Morgan’s eye. He quirks an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”
Spencer tries to convey some apology in his look, and by the wariness in your features you read it. “You don’t actually drink coffee, do you?”
The response is clear even before you open your mouth. Your eyes drop to the full mug on your desk, shoulders hunching inward sheepishly and face taking on a fire engine-esque hue.
“I don’t,” you say quietly. And if there wasn’t already enough apology in your tone, you tack on a quick, “Sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” he says quickly while Morgan looks between you two and the coffee curiously. “That’s what I thought.”
“Hold up.” Morgan’s eyebrows go up, and you shrink further. “I brought you coffee just the other day. You’re telling me you’re not drinking it?”
“No,” you murmur. You look as though you fully expect to be shunned for your answer.
“Then why not say something?”
Spencer thinks that’s fairly obvious, but he’s not going to answer for you.
“I just…” You’ve got your hands in your lap now, probably fiddling with something under your desk in that nervous way of yours. Spencer wishes you’d warm up to them. You’re new and green and always so certain you’re doing something wrong, but he wishes he could pull your hands from beneath the desk and soothe them—soothe you—until you were comfortable. “I didn’t want you to think I didn’t appreciate it.”
He can see Morgan ready to dissent, so Spencer cuts in.
“Do you just not like coffee?” he asks, trying to stay as far from interrogative as he can for your benefit.
You do seem to relax a bit, pulling your stare from Morgan’s eagerly. “I just can’t do caffeine,” you admit. “It makes me too jumpy.”
Spencer can’t really imagine you much more skittish than you already are on a daily basis, so he agrees that’s for the best.
“I have seen you drink it, though.” Morgan’s voice is bemused. “In the break room. You had a cup just the other day.”
“It was decaf,” you tell him softly.
“We have decaf?”
“Have you looked on the top shelf of the cabinet?” Spencer asks. “There’s a surprising amount of variety. We have decaf, teas, hot chocolate mix—sometimes even apple cider mix.”
You nod, starting to look less fidgety. Spencer likes to get you like this when he can. It’s an ongoing project of his. Maybe it’s just that it’s easier to relax when the people around you are relaxed too, but there’s something about setting you at ease in particular that makes his chest feel warm and full. That might be something else to look into. When he has time.
“Yeah, yeah, the wonders of the top cabinet.” Morgan waves this off, as if he’s ever heard of it before (he hasn’t, Spencer can tell). “All I’m hearing is that you let us bring you coffee for weeks just because you were worried we’d bite your head off if you said something.”
You grimace, but there’s a bit less tension in you now as you look up at Morgan, thoroughly chastened. “Sorry,” you all but whisper.
“Fine,” he rolls his eyes good-naturedly, “I forgive you. Decaf only from now on, got it.”
“Thanks,” you squeak as he turns around, sauntering back to his own desk. Your eyes find Spencer, meeting his for a fraction of a second before dropping to his chin. “Sorry I didn’t drink your coffee.”
“It’s really fine,” he almost laughs, and the humor in his voice gives you the confidence to lift your eyes to his again. He’s glad for it. “I don’t care, I was just curious why you didn’t like it. And for the record,” he leans closer to the short wall dividing your desks, speaking low, “if there’s anything else like that, you can tell me. I won’t bite your head off the way he does.” He cuts a glance towards Morgan’s desk. You push your lips together, tamping down a smile. Spencer grins too, partly to encourage you and partly because he wants to.
“Thank you.” Your voice is quiet, a new teasing edge to it that he likes the sound of. “I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”
“Great.” He reaches over, taking the mug from your desk. “I’m going to go pour this down the drain. Do you want me to grab you a decaf?” You can’t seem to decide between thanks so much and really, you don’t have to, so Spencer brings you one anyway.
#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x shy!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds x reader
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authors note; if you dont like the "has kids and is pregnant" trope, this is not for you !!!! this is basically a headcanon explaining why jake is so tough on his sons in atwow !!
d/n = daughters name
s/n = sons name.
i didn't want to make up names in case readers would like to do that on their own. personally i imagined the kids in way of water lol
theme; you tell jake he's being too hard on your kids - he tells you why.
pairing; dilf jake sully x reader
warnings; bad ending !! clearly what i need to work on the most. mentions of death and war. intentional lower caps
"Jake." I began, looking at him with that look on my face as he finished lecturing our son. This conversation we were about to have must not be had in front of the kids, as that might make it seem like i don't respect jake when he sets a boundary or makes a decision. if thats what it looked like to our kids they could start not listening to him - which is the last thing i'd want.
but it was getting out of hand, and it made me uncomfortable.
we had three kids, one on the way. two boys, one girl.
i always thought him being much more strict with our sons was because they were older and needed to take more responsibility than our daughter had to - because i agreed with that. he did lecture d/n when he had to (so she wouldn't get a suffocating attitude and behavior as a grown up. parenting !) but with our boys it was very different. he'd lecture them about everything, and being very harsh and closed minded when he did so.
jake caught on, nodding.
"you guys go ahead, your mother and I will be right behind you." he said, patting our oldest sons back twice before they went off, mumbling to each other.
"i told you he'd freak out!"
"shut up, jerk. it was your idea."
"oh, yeah? you're the one who started it!"
i waited until they were out of hearing distance before i began again, turning from their direction and to my mates.
"you are very hard on them." i said as i turned around, gaining a sigh from jake in response.
"we've been over this, y/n. they're teenagers. they can't grow and mature with kisses and hugs."
"but it is more than that. you cannot expect them to make no mistakes." it is hard enough already for them with their father being who he was. but like every other na'vi they wanting to make their father and anyone with his name proud - that wouldn't be such a fight if he didn't have so high and unrealistic expectations.
"i don't." Jake responded fast, sounding over it already. he hated having to explain his reasoning - having to explain and defend himself.
"they think you do. that's whats important - they think you have expectations they will never be able to fulfill."
"they said that?"
"once. but they do not have to. i see it - i feel it." i felt very close to all of my children, like if they were physically hurt, I was too.
"I'm their father - its my job to be hard on them. toughen them up for the real world."
"your daughter is growing up in the same world - you don't treat her the same and they see it, jake." the absolute last thing id ever wish for is for jake to be so tough that it creates a wedge between two sons and a father.
"what do you want me to do, hm? let them run off and break every rule we set for them? that is not the kind of example i want to set for the youngest; that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want with no consequences." as he said the word youngest, he placed a hand on my stomach. ever since i got pregnant, he had gotten even more strict. i thought it was because he didn't want to stress me out with our kids (specifically boys) being wild, doing things they shouldn't be doing, but i'd never asked.
"talk to me, ma jake. why are you like this?" before we had our oldest, s/n, jake was very fun. definitely the wildest man i had ever met, always doing something he shouldn't. he was still like that, but less than before. i knew it was because he had matured massively since then, but i wish he'd seen himself in our sons before being so quick to judge their excitement for the world around them.
"because that's how my father raised me and my brother - i think i turned out alright. that's what i want for them. to turn out alright. more than alright - i want them to be the men they were born to be." he explained, struggling a little to keep the eye contact between us.
Jake was not one to talk about his family or his life before Pandora. i knew about his brother and his warrior background, but his parents weren't a subject he'd heavily touch on unless heavily forced.
"when i was a marine, i could be careless. it's more to the story but in the end, i lost my legs because i wasn' thinking two steps ahead. i didn't have my father to correct and lecture me, so i'm giving it to my kids." Jake was very grateful for this chapter in his life, more thankful for this than anything. being able to wiggle his toes and run in the forest was a gift he did not recognize until it was lost. not being able to do so as a human threw him to the wolves of depression - same affect as losing his brother.
he'd hate for one of his sons to get badly injured or even worse: one losing the other like he had lost his brother many years ago.
i opened my mouth to respond, but he quickly shut me off by continuing.
"my father raised me like this and I will continue raising my sons like this. you might not agree with me on everything, but i know i'm doing the right thing."
In response, i just nodded, looking down. i felt slightly bad for bringing it up, seeing the direction it had gone in. Jake had lost his brother and didn't want our kids to fall in his footsteps of fate.
#fanfiction#rainyamidala#writing#avatar 2009#jake sully#jake sully x reader#jake sully x pregnant reader#jake sully x you#sam washington#zoe saldana#jake sully imagine#jake sully fluff#jake sully angst#pandora#na'vi#navi#neytiri x reader#Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite#eywa#avatar movie#avatar 09#avatar imagine#avatar the way of water#jake sully x y/n#jake sully x oc
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in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)
kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.
also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all
tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?
ive died two times in my life so far.
the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.
the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.
i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.
and then i died again.
this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.
it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning
i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:
im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?
so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.
and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.
i was reborn.
at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:
i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed
i finished about six chapters of my book
i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head
i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked
i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer
i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends
i started focusing on my studies
i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings
dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird
and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.
but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.
and if finding happiness a losing battle?
well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.
#mental health day#world mental health day#october 10#tw sewerslide attempt#tw mentions of death#tw mentions of self harm#tw self destructive behavior#road to recovery
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I WANNA HEAR YOUR CROUCH FAMILY THOUGHT GIB GIB FEED MOIII!!!
snail ur amazing, also yes i shall :)) im always happy to talk about them oh my godddd, some of this will be a mix of general thoughts and just convos me and Leo ( @lostforgottenspaces ) have had abt the crouch family, specifically for our fic SFTDWD (Sing For The Damage We've Done) be prepped for a long ass rant!!
anyways, i feel like people don't talk about their canonical story as much as they should because they're so interestingggg,
Snr being in the ministry and not w/ the deatheaters?? Barty getting involved with them through his time at hogwarts??? The trial flashback??? Bartys own trial??? Mrs. Crouch sacrificing herself for her son??? Snr openly hating his own son??? Snr locking Barty away for decades in his childhood home??? Barty killing Snr?? Barty going back to the deatheaters?? like helloooo????
the angst potential there is so good i wish people used it moreee,
in my mind i view their dynamic as; Snr meeting Bartys mom/Laura (I usually name her Laura so I'll probably just use that here) in Italy when they are young, probably around 18-19. Laura had been homeschooled as a witch there with her family, and she meets Snr and they actually have a very happy love story,
but as time goes on, Snr's drive for success within the ministry pulls the couple a part. Snr believes he knows Laura fully, and that she's an angel, which is not true! Laura is human person who makes mistakes, but Snr sees her as someone higher, so when she does makes mistakes he loses it. They have a child because of a societal expectations, Snr never wanted kids, he believes them having a child will only hold him back.
Barty is born, Snr doesn't pay him much mind, though he tries to get past his negative feelings to be a father to his son. He attempts to be a better father than his own father was to him, but as time goes on he starts to care less and less. I imagine something happens in the ministry, maybe he gets demoted, and he starts blaming Barty for those problems, as well as Laura too.
Barty attempts to get his fathers positive attention for most of his childhood, though he never gets it. His father uses curses on him, especially the imperius curse, to get him to leave Snr alone. Laura tries to get Snr to stop, because she loves Barty, but Snr won't.
Another thing I like to note is because of Snr's cruel treatment of his son, Barty is much closer with his mother. Though he, as well as Snr, start to see her in this perfect light, and is confused when she does something that is more siding with Snr than with Barty. I think it adds depth to the two of them, being similar like that, and it makes Laura quite the tragic character imo, so yk 🤭 i love tragedy
anywho, Barty isn't allowed to leave the house much as a child, his only way of refuge is books and studying, so thats what he does. He reads and takes notes, etc. This is one of the reasons why he decides to take on all of his OWLs when he's in Hogwarts.
id imagine Barty slowly gets involved with Deatheater stuff simply by association with his classmates, hearing them talk, being a part of things like that. He'll join the deatheaters with them, secretly.
when he turns 18 and graduates, he gets a job at the ministry per his fathers request, while still being in with the deatheaters. A year passes, and at only 19 he gets exposed during Karkaroff's trial, his father is shocked and so is his mother. During his own trial, (along with the Lestranges) he gets sentenced to Azkaban, both his mother and father are present.
his capture soon weakens Laura's health, and she becomes weak. She tells Snr her last request, which is to save her son from a life in Azkaban. Snr begrudgingly helps her with this, and she switches place with Barty. Barty resists at first, though his mother tells him everything will be okay, because his father will keep him safe. Laura doesn't know what Snr will do afterwards to keep Barty out of the Deatheaters and Voldemorts company.
Barty still remains a prisoner, although now one in his own home, his childhood home. He's barely 21 at the time, and he spends around a decade there. Snr mostly ignores him, only hearing of him from their house elf, Winky. She becomes Barty's caregiver, bringing him food and keeping him company. Barty would ask her for the current news, for books to keep him entertained, and simply just to be around. Though, Winky wasn't allowed to talk to him mostly, she would follow his requests, and would stay around sometimes.
Barty was the one to convince Winky to bring him to a quidditch match, she then convinced Snr, who begrudgingly accepted after being prodded quite a bit. Then...well yk most of the rest of the story, blah blah he escapes for a second, blah blah...yk the jist.
I also like to think that Barty talks to Moody while he's being held captive in the suitcase thingy. He doesn't have anyone else to talk to and he hasn't been out of captivity in a while, which is one of the reasons why people think Moody is acting so weird, as he's being freakishly antisocial and unaware of things. But Moody knows like a shit ton about Barty and his life, just because I think that would be fun lol,
Barty then kills his father finally in an act of revenge, something that had been replaying in his head for years...he'd been imagining that moment since forever. He finally kills the man who tormented him for his whole life, and he relishes in the fact of seeing that Snr is terrified of him now, bc finally Snr gets to feel the same way that he had made his son feel for Barty's entire life.
And then, Barty loses his soul from the dementors kiss, and he's all alone...yk i love that fact so much. Especially for those Slytherin Skittle fans, Barty dies last out of all of them, and he's all alone.
another thing id like to note is Barty's involvement with the deatheaters. I think that it was a mix of him being with the wrong crowd, as well as basically seeking them out. He's being abused and neglected by his father, and it causes him to act out more, and he finds these kids who are basically doing the same thing, so he joins them, and then follows them. He's just a child when he does, he's ignorant obviously, and i think that's what really gets to me about his character.
Barty is practically still a child when everything happens to him. He and a lot of the deatheater characters in the marauders era are just victims of being looped in as a child, if childhood ignorance and abuse. Even though the crouch family isn't involved in the deatheaters, Barty still seeks comfort in it because he can't find it anywhere else, which is just fkin heartbreakingggg,
i love this family so much, they're so goddamn interesting to me, i love barty angst and just his character in general, i would love to see more people explore it, and i will always continue to throw my bbg around like a ragdoll!!!
anyway, thank u for the ask!! i love talking about them, so i will actually die for anyone who asks me abt them,
#marauders#marauders era#harry potter#hp#dead gay wizards#barty crouch jr#bartemius crouch junior#barty crouch sr#bartemius crouch senior#mrs crouch#the crouch family#me rambling#me rambling like hell#winky the house elf
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i got a lot of thoughts about loveless by alice oseman and if this post seems very one sided well thats just how it read to me. my opinion isnt the end-all and i value how everyone interpreted and was affected by this book. this isnt a closed topic lets talk about it
gripes with loveless by alice oseman
took a while to actually explain that ace and aro are two separate identities and still not that well. it makes aro seem like a subset of ace which is entirely false. its cool there was an aroallo character involved but still
the book title 'loveless' is a real term and identity and the entirety of the book kinda shits on it by enforcing the ideal that its still okay to be aspec cause platonic love can be experienced and any type of love is required or at least better than "not feeling anything and being alone forever"
it was weird for her friends to forgive her over gestures that had nothing to do with apologizing before georgia actually apologized and explained but that may just be more of a personal thing that i didnt like. likewise the story being about platonic love it kinda sucks her deepest connection is with her roommate and not the people shes known for years and wronged
kinda sex negative. i mean rooney says she doesnt dislike casual sex but then that whole thing becomes the reason she hates herself and a reason to cope with being "unloveable" and its kinda lame. you can tell that story without making it seem like casual sex is just a means of devaluing yourself. and you can be sex repulsed and still not do that. it just feels unfair to aroallo people especially who are told they are monsters for enjoying and only wanting casual sex when this book is supposed to be about aromanticism too
(can we also be done with harry potter references??? lets stop hurting trans and jewish people thanks)
basically particular identities' stories shouldnt come at the expense of others and other ways of life. its great and important to write different experiences because no one is gonna relate to them all but no one has to replace romantic love with ANY type of love to feel good about themselves and be human. loveless and aplatonic people shouldnt have to read something that uses rhetoric against their identities within a book about aspec people
things i like about loveless
i didnt relate to it personally but the experiences felt very genuine. internalized aphobia, being hounded by aphobic comments, finding it hard to portray love even in a fictional or artistic sense, etc.
I appreciate the references to race and intersectionality that come with being queer even if they were minimal. so few times is it actually acknowledged that there is privilege when it comes to being understood, coming out, being accepted, etc. the references to that were nice to see because too often intersectionality being brought up is brushed off and blatantly ignored or people pretend like they understand
it was written by someone who is aroace even if there are some things that can be less isolating within the aspec community with the language being used. someone being open about their identities and how they choose to define them in the mainstream world is how we get more peoples voices in there
it has helped people discover their own identity though id still recommend further research on the actual identities being named and ones not named. these stories are the first introduction of aspec identities in mainstream and that hopefully means itll start to expand to other identities within that community that have not yet had representation
this should be the start of developing more rep. the first takes are not gonna represent everyone and its a good thing it exists to tell a few peoples story. but that doesnt mean it should be free from any criticism because thats how we make them continuously better. i hope to see an aroallo character soon. i want the term loveless to be properly used in media and expressed for what it is. i want to stop pretending like ace is the umbrella term for all aspec identities. i want amatonormativity explained as the sociological term it is that harms all life not just aromantic and polyamorous people. i want a polyam aspec character and polyam characters in general. i want disabled and ethnic aspec characters where the intersectionality is just as important to the narrative. i want a whole lot more and to stop prentending like any of that should be unreasonable
#loveless#alice oseman#osemanverse#aromantic#arospec#aspec#aroace#aroallo#loveless aromantic#loveless aro#queer#lgbtqia#made this sideblog specifically for this post
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just wanna make a little post because! someone left a very respectful comment on WINRN asking a bit about SQH's choices transition wise. the comment has since been deleted so im not gonna repeat it (if this was you and you were worried plz dont be! i dont mind at all!) and i dont want to embarrass or put pressure on the person, but i thought id write my thoughts on that out here 😊
putting this under a cut because it got long lol
SQH in WINRN is a trans man, and has identified that way since childhood in PIDW-verse. In the real world, he was never out and never socially or medically transition, and had a lot of internalized misogyny and transphobia (which is gonna be explored a bit later in the fic). However, PIDW is canonically a world with no homophobia, which I am taking to mean no transphobia as well!
This is a major culture shock, and one that WINRN's SQH definitely says he is totally cool with and has internalized, but I think he still has a lot of internalized fear rattling around inside, which definitely plays into his choices of how he treats his body.
That said, many trans people don't actually experience a ton of dysphoria when it comes to their secondary sexual characteristics 😊 I myself have a very complicated relationship with my physical sex, which I am pretty much just directly giving to SQH haha. It's definitely not representative of every, or even most, trans experiences, just my own that I want to explore a bit through SQH, especially how that overlaps with having biological children.
Not wanting to medically transition can have a lot of reasons outside of medical concerns or cost. It's a really permanent choice. For me, I'm always like 'okay, but what if I miss my boobs? or what if it just makes no difference for me?' I, like SQH, still spend time not passing for various reasons, and it is useful to be able to girl-code myself when needed, which I wouldn't be able to do as easily if I had medically transitioned.
Drawing from trans friends experiences, some people also just actively like their bodies the way they are! I have a close friend who likes their chest a lot, and actually feels more masc and confident when not binding. Different vibes for different folks :))
That said, unlike myself, I do think that WINRN!SQH does eventually medically transition. His choice not to is a combo of ambivalence towards his body and fear of rejection, so once he is more confident and settled he and MBJ find like. A gender change fruit lol. And because magic, he can always swap back if he wants hahaha.
It hasn't come up yet, but WINRN is also T4T Moshang! Mobei-jun is also a trans man who has made very different choices than SQH when it comes to his transition. He gets much less self-shame/dysphoria, and transitioned later but went right for medical transition. Growing up in PIDW-verse where it's not a big deal gives him a different perspective than SQH. He just like... cut his tits off and did an ice ritual and was all set 😂
ANYWAYS thats just my gender headcanons for this fic hahaha. thank you for reading if you got this far! and literally never worry about leaving comments or asks with questions on the gender stuff, im very comfy talking about it and very hard to offend ❤️
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OK SO REWATCHING BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES AGAIN AND y'all remember how coryo and sejanus had that lil confrontation right after they got to twelve over sejanus hanging with billy toupe and coryo was all 'you have to learn to make the best of our lives and roles here or have your father buy you a discharge and do something' and we as the viewers (idk about readers bc I have yet to read the book 😭 but movie anyway) can see the spite he says that with because sejanus is there willingly and coryo isn't. coryo had everything taken from him by being sent out as a peacekeeper. sejanus gave everything up to do the same.
coryo told sejanus not to throw his life away because he had the means and opportunity to make a real difference, and what did sejanus do? he turned straight around and threw away all of his power inorder to become a peacekeeper medic out in district twelve. as far as possible from the capital and any real position of power to make the change he was always talking about. and the reason that coryo told sejanus that in the first place? he was forced to risk his life to go and get sejanus!
sejanus had everything that coryo was working so hard to get a scrap of and threw it away on a whim, right after coryo was forced to risk his life to save sejanus.
coryo was exiled. forcefully placed in the military by highbottom with the goal of taking away any future power that coryo might have had. and sejanus, who already had the money and power that coryo was being kept from, threw it away! sejanus volunteered for the job that was meant to replace coryos death sentence. and then he starts running around doing illegal shit, dragging coryo into it by association, meanwhile coryo is doing his best to get back to his family and NOT GET KILLED. CORYO BASICLY ALREADY HAD TWO STRIKES AGAINST HIM WITH THE CAPITAL, AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY FOR THEM TO KILL HIM OFF IN THE DISTRICTS, LEAVING HIS FAMILY ALONE AND FUTURELESS. AND HE KNEW THAT. HE KNEW THAT EVERYTHING HE DID WAS BEING WATCHED AND SEJANUS JUST KEPT PUTTING THEM AT RISK! ID BE PISSED TOO.
BUT SEJANUS DIDNT KNOW THAT. HE DIDNT SEE IT THAT WAY BECAUSE HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CORYOS SITUATION WITH THE STARVING FAMILY AND THE DEATH SENTANCE AND THE TRAUMA FROM THE WAR AND ITS AFTERMATH AND HIGHBOTTOM WANTING HIM DEAD. GOD IF THEY HAD JUST TALKED ABOUT IT THEN I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT SEJANUS WOULD HAVE KEPT WORKING WITH BILLY TOUPE,
seriously! from coryos perspective everything sejanus did was basically a slap in the face to everything he was struggling and suffering for! but sejanus probably just thought coryo was blind to the capitals cruelty because sejanus was always trying to do what he thought was the right thing! but coryo knew people who had been labeled treasonous rebels for doing less than sejanus, and since they were friends and squad members coryo would have been blamed too. and unlike sejanus coryo doesn't have a rich dad to save him. he also had people relying on him, unlike sejanus, who only thought he was risking himself.
BUT ALSO coryo saw everything sejanus did as a wasted opportunity. and he was kinda right! sejanus had the money and the platform and the future to make real change if he would only spend some of his father's money and play the game. but just like coryo yelled at him in their fight, sejanus was too blinded by his own guilt over his father's actions and how they benefited from the war to actually do anything. which while moral and kind and very sejanus of him, was also such a wasted opportunity!
and then later at the jabberjay collection part where, before turning on the recording, coryo told sejanus to stop his sketchiness and sejanus was all 'YOU told me I could make a difference! thats what I'm doing!' and coryo makes that frustrated pissy face but doesn't really say anything he was totally thinking 'YEAH BUT THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT!' when coryo told sejanus that he could make a difference back in the arena he was talking about sejanus using his familys wealth to make large scale change in the system, not risk his life on some asshole like billy toupe. but he doesn't say that because that's treason and he never says stuff out loud like that because he actually has people to protect. AND THEN SEJANUS GOES 'i can't stay here I wont!' SAYING THAT HES CANT STAY IN DISTRICT TWELVE ANYMORE AND CORYO MAKES THAT FACE AGAIN CUZ SEJANUS YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS YOU VOLUNTEERED!!!!!!! GOD! I CANT!
AND THEN SEJANUS SAYS 'im just doing what you told me to do back at the arena' AND CORYO SAYS ' I WASJUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID ENOUGH TO RUIN MY LIFE' AND HE MEANT THAT BECAUSE WHAT SEJANUS DID PUT CORYOS ENTIRE FUTURE AT RISK BUT HE DOESNT KNOW THAT AND THEN SEJANUS SAYS 'its worth the risk to do the right thing' ANF THATS WHERW CORYO FINALLY GETS OUTWARDLY MAD AND SAYS 'ITS WORTH THE RISK FOR YOU. YOUR FATHER WILL JUST BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES BUT ILL BE HUNG JUST FOR KNOWING YOU' BUT SEJANUS DOESNT KNOW HOW TRUE THAT IS BUT ALSO HE SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE CORYO FULLY TOLD HIM AND HE JUST DIDNT GET IT! AND ONLY THAT DAY CORYO HAD LEARNED THAT HIS FAMILY WAS EVICTED AND THEY LOST HIS CHILDHOOD HOME AND HE WAS TRYING SO HARD TO SAVE THEM BUT SEJANUS WAS GONNA GET CAUGHT AND GET HIM KILLED AND GOD
#if they just talked!#they needed to have a drunken girl fight over who had more trauma#and then everything would have been fine#kinda#maybe#probs not#BUT I CAN DREAM#coriolanus snow#sejanus plinth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas spoilers
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liquid courage
?
it was a cold, rainy evening when you decided nagito needed to loosen up.
you were worried for your boyfriend seeing as he was more self deprecating than normal, so whats better than drinking a little alcohol? you grabbed a bottle of expensive wine and called nagito down. when he saw you with the bottle as he was descending the stairs he immediately began bombarding you with concern,
"y/n? whatre you doing with that?? are you okay?? there are better ways to relieve stress than drinking! is it my fault???? have i been-"
"nagito, darling, please sit down with me. you havent done anything at all, if anything im concerned for you. youve been degrading yourself more than normal, so i wanted us to calm down together with a bottle of wine. if thats okay with you of course." you reassured him and cleared his negative thoughts.
if youve learned anything about nagito its that you have to be clear about your intentions with everything or hed assume the worst. he made one last at attempt at his deprecation before you completely shut him down,
"oh i would love too! but... are you sure? its an expen-"
"yes nagito, i am sure, now would you sit with me? i have the glasses ready, and id love for you to join me."
nagito nodded and came to sit with you even though he was a still a little unsure. of course hed love to have a drink with someone as beautiful as you! thats obvious, but does he deserve it? nagito being self deprecating happened at times but it happened less when he was you, so why was there a spike in his behavior in your presence?
well maybe its because he heard some whispers about how you deserved someone hotter, someone in your league, not someone like nagito.
maybe its because he heard your friends talking about the two of you behind your backs, talking about how your settling for way less than you deserve.
maybe its because-
"darling, hello? you havent even sipped from your glass yet, and you seem in your own head. penny for your thoughts?" you inquire.
he seems out of it, extremely so. you hope hes okay.
"y/n," he takes a sip from his glass, "can i," another sip, "ask you something?" he ends his sentence with a swig of his wine.
"of course, ask me anything your heart desires."
with a big sigh he asks, "why are you with me?" nagito takes another large swig with a deep breath.
all you do is giggle while nagito stares at you confused, "a myriad of reasons, my dear. if you so wish i could name a few for you."
"could you?" he asks.
"i love how nice you are to everyone," you sigh, "except you cant seem to extend that same kindness to yourself, i love you regardless though. i love your eyes, i love your hair, i love how you are always trying to extend hope to others, i love-"
"i love, hic, those too!"
your eyes widen as you see a drunk nagito looking over at you. his sudden confidence is a welcome change though and you decide to test it,
"oh really? what else do you love about yourself nagito?"
"weeellll i really, hic, like me because, hic, i have you! you help me a, hic, loootttt yknow?" he continues his ramble, "i couldnt believe, hic, it when i got someone like you. i actually, hic, thought it was some type of joke or, hic, dream! but i knew someone as perfect as you wouldnt do that to me, so my, hic, confidence began to rise. b...but when i heard some people talking about us i started to, hic, lose it."
your brows were furrowed, how dare someone make your beloved nagito feel that way? "who was it, darling? you can tell me <3." you persuaded.
"its okay love, i can handle it! i love you and since you love me i have to be worth something. they didnt hurt my feelings :D!" nagito said this all bubbly and himbo like.
this was a completely new side to him youve never seen, and youd be lying if you said you didnt like it, "as long as your okay nagito... though i do think thats enough alcohol for now. you seem to have had enough."
"noooo, hic, yyyyy/nnnn!" when your met with a pouting nagito its hard to say no, but you hold your ground.
nagito eventually ended up falling asleep on you and you on him. you were sure to have good dreams tonight, and in the morning?
oh, you had stories to tell sober nagito.
?
everything???
#nagito komaeda x reader#nagito komaeda x reader fluff#nagito komaeda fluff#nagito x reader#nagito x reader fluff#nagito fluff#danganronpa fluff#danganronpa x reader#danganronpa x reader fluff#x reader#x reader fluff#fluff#anime fluff#fanfic#fanfiction#nagito x y/n#nagito x you
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6 and 7 for casey and also 20 :)c
Ask game
6. What catalyzed their introduction to the plot?
True to her rotten soul, she was summoned to the plot in vp by discourse and disorder in the family. She comes around during a point when Michelle is starting to get sudden positive public attention as goldstar, and since boosters been mostly out of public eye since starting to be the silent protector of the time stream, she’s treated as something of a big new breakout sensation (they’re bored as fuck in metropolis)
Michelle is dealing with some inner turmoil and fighting with booster which she’s been keeping under wraps cuz she’s gods strongest soldier but she sees the attention on goldstar as a way to break away from it all and gain some independence and also as a sort of petty bite back at her brother who is being very annoying at the moment warning her about the dangers of stardom. As if he’s so smart. DIE. She starts spending more time as goldstar the superhero and less as goldstar the time master and is fighting a lot with booster, so she starts looking for her own place and wants to start at university and do all these things for herself (we’re so proud of her. I mean I am. FUCK BOOSTER GOLD) and CUE….. CASEY WILKES
Michelle is enrolled in uni, but she’s still living in the time lab and her brother is driving her fckn crazy every time she’s home. And she’s having trouble adjusting to sxhool life (I imagined she didn’t attend college like booster did, and just kept working out of highschool all the way up till she was dragged into the past) And as if drawn magnetically towards someone else who wants to kill MJ Carter, she and Casey have a chance encounter at a cafe near school and they chat a little. Casey tells Michelle she goes to the university near here too. That’s crazy. We have so much in common! Eventually while talking it turns to venting cuz Michelle was looking a little miserable before they started talking and she accidentally lets boosters name slip in convo. And Casey’s like 🙂 oh thats 🙂 that’s an interesting name. And btw you look. A little familiar? [MR KRAAAAABS I HAVE AN IDEAAAAAA] so from then Casey latches onto her like a leech and eventually gets the confirmation this was destiny and I can’t believe this is BOOSTER GOLDS (I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD) TWIN SISTER. AND SHES MAD AT HIM? THIS IS PERFECT
And then.. well that’s more middle of the story stuff. And this was asking about her introduction! (Her relationship with Michelle is interesting to me because aside from the friendship betrayal stuff it’s a rare case of her being weirdly friendly- at least by her standards)
7. What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?
This is something Marty and I entertain ourselves with a lot actually wondering what fandom perception of Casey and nell would be… in a series bible id include things like… she’s genuinely not insecure. Like at all. Her attitude isn’t masking a tortured soul inside she’s just like that, she’s selfish and thoughtless and delusional. Her childhood was objectively difficult but she really has no complaints about the way she was raised or with her mother. She has her problems sure but they’re in other areas.. you’re looking in the wrong place! She also doesn’t really get .. sad? Often or at all? She’s more likely to feel anger than sadness. And also o feel it’s important to realize how monumentally difficult it is to form a relationship with her IF THATS SOMETHING YOU WANTED FOR SOME REASON. Literallt every relationship she has has been based on her thinking she could manipulate the other for something and then it either morphed into Ok I don’t hate seeing you even without anything to gain or morphed into attempted homicide. The illusion of free choice
20. Free Space #2: Which of your OCs would you most like to meet in person, if they could become real (or you could visit them) for a day?
Oh god. Not Casey. All my ocs are kind of annoying in some way.
Maybe Cain cuz he’s a normal polite boy. I’d ask him to show me his pop two extra arms out of his ribs trick and then id go ewwww lol and ask him to leave
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one of my favorite details about liam is the fact that he is very nice!!!! but he does NOT seem to get manners
his whole motive thruout season 2 is that he wants to save the others. from the looks of it, he doesnt CARE about the revenge part that much. like yeah itd be nice to stop the guy that physically harmed and killed you bc he did that, but thats an afterthought really - and i didnt interpret liam trying to kill airy even as an attempt at revenge so much as an extremely irrational and extremely stress-induced method of trying to make sure his friend + the others DIDNT get sent to the plane. his main priority is repeatedly that he wants to stop this from happening to anyone else. the only time he mentions himself is when saying that he 'cant live the rest of his life not knowing WHY this happened' (thats paraphrased) but that is immediately followed up w concern for this happening to other people
ofc, he also thinks he literally Has Nothing so the lengths he goes to to save the others CAN be interpretted as not things he would do if he thought he could go back to normal but at that point, thats just extremely specific speculation and i dont think thats supposed to be whats conveyed. some situations wouldnt even be necessarily related to him not having anything, so much as related to helping the others. he still throws himself into everything after "remembering what its like to have a life again." even when he realizes that he doesnt HAVE to have lost everything, he still cared and wanted to help the others more
i think he wanted closure, yeah, but he really did want to save the others. the scene of him helping julien is there for a narrative reason, after all (though i dont wanna get into that bc id go on a tangent about narrative choices in ONE). hell, hes the only one to try to get charlie out of the way of the stakes! (not that the others didnt try, but i feel like the intended take-away of liams general nature is fairly clear)
anyway, liam is nice!! he cares a lot abt others and doesnt want bad things to happen to them, and hes ok with bad things happening to him if it can help them.
but he does NOT understand a lot of social etiquette, or the concept of being polite.
my favorite example of this is the whole discussion abt going to go see bradley. when the restaurant gets shut down, liams first thought is to go 'sooooo. you dont have work, right?' when liam realizes he cant pay for the laptop, he just kinda. 'i dont have any money.' and stares at bryce like a cat looking at your plate of sandwich meat, waiting for you to inevitably give them some
this isnt even ONLY after the 7 months, theres hints of this trait before then! when amelia is talking abt stone making her team when the challenge, he just goes 'yeah sorry.' then talks abt how texty won their teams challenge, pointedly when texty is RIGHT there. liam doesnt even say goodnight back to owen! (this ones less impolite than the others but i think its silly to include)
it should be noted tho, that while this ISNT present before and after the plane, it DOES show up more prominently afterwards, and this could very much be the stress! but looking at WHY its more prominent afterwards also feels like it points more towards this just being How He Is.
all of the things hes kinda impolite abt? are things where he is TRYING to be nice, or arent unkind inherently. hes going to talk to bradley? well, doesnt bryce want to come? driving him there is more efficient anyway. oh you have work? well now you dont! so now things are easier! staying here isnt gonna make the restaurant reopen anyway! (liam also probably does NOT have the same weight associated w jobs that bryce does, since liam hasnt had a job in a capitalist society in 7 months. its probably still subconsciously there, but not at the forefront when the plane is still out there). i crashed your car? well, i think the lives of others matters a little more. you can get a new car, but if something happens to airys contestants WHO KNOWS whatll happen to them
a lot of it, i think, is made more extreme by stress and trauma, yeah, but these are patterns in logic that seem to already discard manners as being that relevant. and i, autistic, chose to view that as something hes just Like. hes not a dick and he doesnt ever mean to be! but also if someone can do something fairly minor to do something more important, why does he NEED to be polite abt it?? whats the POINT you get the same message across! and thats assuming he even REALIZES these things are "impolite," based on a lot of his interactions w vryce, i legitimately dont think he realizes how he acts could sometimes be considered 'impolite'
where bryce is knowingly kind of rude sometimes and doesnt care (though is STILL kind, he is just more blunt and uninterested in sounding nice, which i could do an entirely different essay on the autism of), liam seems to not really notice manners, nor does he think theyre very important to consider, and i just. really love that about his character :)
this is the kind of guy that, if you stubbed ur toe, hed probably not say 'oohh, sorry :(' and hed just be 'dang, that sucks' and move on
#hfjone#liam hfjone#yes im maintagging this bc i like my liam analysis#i LOVE characters who are kind but dont acknowledge manners#i point at a character i like and go im going to give you the highest honor i can bestow and its an autism diagnosis#also the reason i care abt this is because i see a lot of ppl write him as concerned abt how he comes across and being a bit shy abt it?#and like!!!! thats ok#different interpretations of the same character can exist!!!#esp w a character whose actual personality is fairly muddled by the events of the story#but i also overanalyze characters and have noticed this trait of his and i think id like to see it in more interpretations#bc its how i see him and i think its very fun!!! though that could just be me :)#idm the other interpretations of liams personality i just wanted to throw this one out there bc i think abt it a lot#and i dont think it changes much but as an autistic i enjoy interpretting liam this way :)#anyway. liam autism forever 🎉🎉🎒🎉🎉🎉#hfjone spoilers
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Hey Gray, regarding your post about the Feds workers, it reminds me of how the Federation was seen before the introduction of workers and how most people see the rebellion now. They were hated for what they did to the islanders and seen as these big entities that were easy to just point with your finger at as a whole. The introduction of workers and the way the fandom, and now the qsmp, has made them to be these poor nice people that are not like the Federation they are just forced to work for it and are absolved from any "bad thing" that might be related to the Federation. (And I'm guessing it'd be the same if we knew people from the rebellion outside of the players) Idk it irks me a little
I would love to know what you think of that thought, and if you have a contrary opinion, because you make things more clear with your words kkkkk
yeah oh boy i can talk about the rebellion.
cause listen, i predicted that both the feds and the eventually discovered rebellion would step into the gray area for morality longgg ago (like idk june or july) because thats how it works in these type of stories, you cannot rely on either team to have your best interests in mind.
the fed clearly cares about the kids, the rebellion (esp at the start) clearly less so, both organizations keep important information from most of the islanders, both are bad, both are good.
i do think people need to keep in mind, in the meta sense, how the federation works in terms of marketing. the soft funny coworker dynamics are clearly surface level, and are shown to us for a reason. they are soft bears for a reason. hell they are even voiceless for a reason. see those themes, and see them as they are, a sort of opposite trope, its a trick, a character trick, to make them appealing to lower your guard. its supposed to add to unease, not make you fall head over heel for a violent bear.
similar with the lack of funds. boo hoo, no moneys, tell me why I should care. I still see them as the powerhouse here, as intimidating, because I know that there are levels above cucurucho that we are NOT seeing. remember that general guy? the one who wanted cucu gone? yeah, thats a cue, to me, in stories like these, that there is an even higher power.
and of course this is similar (of sorts) for the rebellion. they are the underdogs, the underfunded as well, the ones who are finally fighting back. but, well, i am more inclined to like a rebellion, a revolution.
if anyone has watched Andor, there's a character in it, a major player for the rebels against the empire, who has accepted the fact that he will step into that gray arrea, that he will make bad choices, hurt people, for the purpose of furthering the cause.
its not helpful to weigh costs, before the rebellion is even finished. to count how many killed in the fight, before you can see how many are saved from the federation. i would say wait, look critically upon the rebellion, but keep looking at the feds, keep watching.
if i had to choose, id side with the rebellion, because I feel as though their cause is better than that of the feds, solely based on the mission of the organization. but if you wish to bring morality into it, the comparing of eyes, the wrongs of each party, idk, you'd have a rough time.
stay hating the feds, is basically what i will always say. down with any government, but of course im basically a communist. just dont fall for the squishy fluffy bears.
#asks#O___O get me talking and i can talk for ages#qsmp analysis#i have an old post abt#well about fed workers#its kinda fred neg but ill find it lmao
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hi hi hi i’m sorry about the everything in life for a distraction i would love to hear your detailed thoughts on your favorite mcr albums or taylor albums or a detailed ranking of either i just love Music Opinions and also i hope things get better soon<3
thank you sm for sending in <3
im terrible at ranking so ill turn to opinions hmmmm
My favorite mcr album changed by day hour minute but i think i wanna talk about.....bullets....yeah bc bullets is so insane as just a sheer proof of concept, like an expression of raw skill and talent that was growing within this band. Rays guitar work alone was enough for it to make complete sense for major labels to be knocking at the bands door begging to suck them off and then they also had GERARD!!! And this was even before mikey really could write bass parts and frank was still not really in the band like its just ray gerard and geoff (and otter who wrote drum parts that r cool but also somehow out of his skill range? girl you MADE THEM). The fact that vampires not onky exists but was like the second or third song written? Like before mcr gerard either never wrote music or wrote shitty three chord throwaway punk that existed as an excuse to print band stickers and arent even good enough to save on tape and then you decide to start writing for real to cope with major national level trauma and your first song is SKYLINES??? and youre next songs are VAMPIRES and OUR LADY OF SORROWS???? and oh my god the vocals gerard gives on the albuk as a completely untrained vocalist who did one musical once in middle school and otherwise never sang professionally unless you count crazy kids song in breakfast monkey. and then you hear the vocals on fucking vampires???? Like gerard doesnt exactly sing like celine dion on bullets but the raw harmony work and ability to PERFORM and really stretch the emotions of a song and do whatever strange or vulnerable thing is needed to sell the track. Theres still few songs more affecting than early sunsets. Like i fully think gerard is probably the strongest vocalist in the emo scene just because of their ability to completely and utterly sell you on the songs emotions (not just anyone can sing im not okay and get away with it) and thats before all the developing technical talents both already present like how gerard can just toss a melody onto a track without thinking about it or the fact gerard did a lot of the base writing for mcr while fucking barely knowing guitar how did that even work girl. Like i havent even mentioned the lyrics??? How do you. Like you can tell both that gerard never learned how to write songs and also that gerard listens to so much music that he can just fake it anywayyheres like 2 songs with actual choruses on the album and neither of them are the self proclaimed pop song h4h which opens with a queen riff?????? ans then is like a hardcore version of a beatles pop song????dont talk to me about drowning lessons. deomolition lovers!?!?! half of these songs are just poems that gerard hammered into songs and theyre so like. genuinely so incredible and they work??like the album works! as a cohesive piece! it coheres!
and thats the first album. Id say my favorite ts album is probably evermore though i might actually have less to say on it just bc i havent had it since 2015. Evermore is just so....ANGSTY!!! it feels like a complete fulfillment of what she was exploring on folklore with the fictional framing devices and keeping the songs clearly personal while also removing herself in a way she never really has before. It feels like a level of introspection through art that taylor has always been both pushing towards and shying away from because too much introspection or strangeness or even pulling away from the diaristic idea too much never worked with where taylor was at with her career. Evermore had a new collaborator, and the massive success of folklore as well as the continued quarantine gave her both an unprescedented level of artistic isolation personal confidence and professional security that allowed her to just go "fuck it" and write fucking. cowboy like me and dorothea and coney island and closure and she GOT AWAY WITH IT!!! like the albums been out for 3 years or something like that and I still feel like i havent fully processed its existence despite listening to it constantly. It truly felt like she was unshacked and was able to write about herself while also completely pulling away from any sort of literal Truth and going crazy with concept and the way she writes feels so unconstrained from the rules she would sometimes set for herself, it felt like a natural evolution from the freedom she felt jumping into the lover era but its past the honeymoon phase and like it is pop music but its also not scared to be...not pop music if that makes sense? She really fully settles into folk as a genre for the first time and it lets her writing flourish. Songs with no choruses songs with barely any structure at all lyrics that stretch at the ends of verses and fun bouncy wordplay and just allowing herself into a characters life and seeing how it fits her. She has some straight up ren faire tracks on here liek willow is just a collection of similies and metaphors she likes smushed together over a lute and its so GOOD. It feels like she was allowed to really live in adulthood as a woman in her early thirties who creates art because she loves it and because it keeps her alive ALSO proof that she needs to keep collaborating w new ppl bc whenever she does you can feel her pushing herself harder and she becomes so willing to try these new kind of weird things that she may have never tried otherwise aughhhh!!!! i didnt even talk about coney island!!!! I love how moody and dour the whole project is it feels like November where fall drags you into a cold unforgiving winter and you're just trying to survive with your sanity and any of your personal relationships intact. its so!!! tbh its SO new england also which makes me biased. ok thats all
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