Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If Laios ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
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favorite thing ab chatgpt is that if it doesn’t know something it’ll just start fucking lying. like blatantly fucking lying.
my dad teaches english classes and he just got a final paper with this sentence: “In terms of style, both poets are known for their use of imagery, but O'Hara's tends to be more straightforward and concrete, while Stevens' is often more abstract and metaphorical — for example, in O'Hara's poem "The French / Window," he writes: "A cat walks along the garden wall / and the tree waves its branches / The French / windows are blah" (lines 1-4).”
the thing about “The French / Window” is that it is not a poem that exists. at all. like, it was literally just written by chatgpt then inexplicably named as a famous frank o’hara poem. and it’s so. fucking. funny. sooo basically heads up for finals season — those of you who use chatgpt, be warned, because you will quite literally be citing nonexistent texts and your professors will show it to their daughters and together they will laugh at you endlessly and you will deserve it
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I call this one "Double Kill"
[ID. First panel, Nino sits at his and Adrien's table in school, he's angled to face Adrien, his right arm resting on the back of their bench and his left hand on the table. He's saying "I still can't believe I got Rose with "Ligma"..." with his eyes closed. There's a small amount of text next to his head that reads: "It was funny, but I still feel bad..." indicating he's saying it under his breath. Him saying this gets Adrien's attention.
Second panel, Adrien is facing forward at Nino. His face is set in a worried smile as he asks, "What's "Ligma"? Is it serious?".
Third panel, Wide shot of them at their desk, showing Marinette and Alya at their table as well, looking down at them. Adrien keeps an expression of now confused worry as Nino looks at him with an open mouth. Marinette is looking down at Adrien with both hands over her mouth as her shoulders shake with contained laughter. Alya is also covering her mouth, but her joy is less contained as she smiles. The word "SPEECHLESS" is written above them to help get the surprise the three of them feel across.
Fourth panel, a shot of Adrien alone, facing forward and covering his face in embarrassment as the statement, "Just found out what Ligma is" is pointed to him in a looping arrow.
Fifth panel, a wide shot of Ladybug and Chat Noir sitting on the edge of a building together. Chat Noir is sitting criss cross with his hands resting on his thighs, sitting forward a bit to show that he's listening to Ladybug. Ladybug is much more relaxed, leaning back on her right hand and holding her left hand up casually. She's smiling as she recalls: "And then he fell for Ligma! I feel bad, but I kinda wanna see if he'll also fall for "Candace"..."
Sixth panel, Chat Noir is now crossing his arms, raising an eyebrow, squinting his eyes, and tilting his head. His right cat ear tilts as well, while his left one stays straight. The words: "Skeptical but curious" are pointed at him with a straight arrow. He's saying, "And who's "Candace"?"
Seventh panel, Ladybug is looking at Chat Noir with a shocked expression, her eyebrows raised and her jaw dropped. She's sitting straighter, her hand is still resting on the ledge, but it's no longer supporting her. The same "SPEECHLESS" is floating above her as it was seen in the third panel, to show just how shocked she truly is.
Eighth panel, Chat Noir is sitting with his knees up to his chest as he covers his face with his hands in embarrassment. His ears are flattened and his tail is curled around his ankles. The words "Just found out who Candace is" is pointed at him with a straight arrow. End ID]
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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