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clumsyclifford · 4 years

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“What did you wish for?” with whoever but i’m partial to malum as you know -rye

For the prompts: #5 with Malum because this idea has made me SOFT (or any other ship, I just really do think malum has a thing for playing with each other’s hair) - @calumsclifford

okay. okay. lou i know this is a super old prompt but ive had a blank doc with it since you sent it and ive just been waiting for inspiration so i hope you will all forgive me for combining prompts. maggie just sent the above one and i kinda wrote them both into one. this is probably ythe softest thing ill ever write. im going to sleep now but i hope u enjoy <3

Michael’s not superstitious.

He’s really not, despite what people say. If anything, he’s too irreverent to be superstitious. If Michael really were superstitious he’d be constantly fearing for his life from all the ghosts he’s sure to have offended. And Michael’s not delusional, either, or even religious. Generally speaking, unless he can see it and confirm it with his own two eyes, unless there’s empirical proof that it’s real, Michael won’t believe it.

But he wishes on 11:11 anyway.

He doesn’t go around spreading that; he likes his reputation as a guy with his feet on the ground and his head screwed on straight. Wishing on the clock is mostly a silent ritual, a concession to the ephemeral laws of fate and fortune, to say, you did it once, and it was the best thing you ever did. A thank you, if it’s anything.

(Or maybe Michael is a little wishful, but he doesn’t go spreading that around, either.)

“Mikey.”

Michael glances up from his book; Calum has just entered the room, and he crawls into bed, yawning.

“Hey,” Michael says, bookmarking his page.

“It’s 11:11,” Calum points out through another yawn. Michael looks at the clock by his bed, and sees Calum’s not lying.

“Huh,” Michael says. “Make a wish.”

Calum grins and curls up under the comforter, cheek resting on Michael’s stomach. “Maybe tomorrow.”

Michael ignores him for a moment, allowing his hand to drift to Calum’s hair and gently card through it as he watches the clock. He makes the same wish that he always does, because it’s never failed him yet. Then he waits.

(It’s a little superstitious, okay? But Michael believes that the entire minute of 11:11 is sacred. If you make a wish and then turn your back before the clock changes, the 11:11 wish-granting factory will discard your wish. And nobody wants that.)

When the clock flips to 11:12, Michael scratches his fingers lightly on Calum’s scalp and says, “You going to sleep?”

“What’d you wish for?” Calum asks, like he didn’t hear Michael just ask him a question.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” Michael says. “Are you going to sleep?”

“Maybe,” Calum says. “Why won’t you tell me your wish?”

“Because then it won’t come true,” Michael says, trying to make it sound sarcastic even though he firmly believes that platitude. He’s not superstitious. But it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

“That’s bullshit,” Calum says. “C’mon, Mikey.”

“I’m not telling, Cal, it’s a secret and it’ll stay that way.”

“I’m your best friend!”

“Exactly, and wouldn’t you feel terrible if you were the reason my wish didn’t come true?”

“I thought you weren’t superstitious.”

“I’m not,” Michael says automatically. He sighs, because there’s no way Calum will believe it when he says that anymore unless he proves it.

He doesn’t want to be superstitious, but he’d rather be careful than jinx his wish.

“You’re being weird,” Calum says, and yawns. “Wish I weren’t too tired to annoy you about it.”

“You’re already annoying me about it,” Michael says. “Fine. How about this. I’ll tell you what I wished for the first time I wished on 11:11, and then you’ll understand why I don’t want to jinx my wish.”

“Can you tell me while we cuddle?” Calum asks. Michael smiles a bit.

He shuffles down under the duvet, turns off the bedside lamp, and leans his forehead against Calum’s. In the dark, all Michael can see is the faintest outline of Calum’s figure. He can see Calum’s eyes, but only because they’re so close; he can feel Calum’s breath against his mouth. Michael smiles. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Calum says. “Story time?”

“Yeah,” Michael says. He sees Calum close his eyes. “So, uh, picture this. I’m seven years old. My mum’s just told me that sometimes people wish on things like eyelashes, and shooting stars, and, fucking, I don’t know, dandelions. And on the clock, when it’s 11:11. It sounds like a load of horseshit to me, but I’m seven, you know?”

“Are you going to ever actually say what you wished for or just talk around it forever?” Calum mumbles. “I’m gonna fall asleep before the story’s over at this rate.”

“Fuck you,” Michael says, not meaning it. Calum’s so warm and familiar. “Do you want to know or not?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Okay. So I — that night, I stayed up until 11:11 just to make a wish on it. Just to see. I was kind of hoping it wouldn’t work, so I could be like, told you so to anyone who asked. So I wished — I wished for a best friend.”

“Aww, Mikey,” Calum says softly.

“And the next day I went to school,” Michael continues, “and I sat by myself at recess like I did every day, and then this kid came up to me, and he told me he liked my hair, and he asked me if I wanted to be friends.” He pokes Calum in the chest. “And I told him no, because I knew he’d grow up to be an asshole who would make me come to his stupid footie matches every week.”

“You’re such a sentimental,” Calum says; his eyes are open again, and they’re gazing straight into Michael’s. “I didn’t know about that.”

“I know. I didn’t tell. It felt silly,” Michael admits. “But I don’t know. I feel like I got lucky. And that I should repay that luck by trusting in the power of the 11:11 wish.”

“But I don’t understand why you’re still wishing,” Calum says. “You’ve already got me. What more could you possibly need?”

“Arrogant much?” Michael mutters, grinning. Calum shoves gently against his chest, but then leaves his hand there, dragging lightly against his t-shirt. Michael wonders if Calum can feel the way his heartbeat is kicking up a storm inside his ribcage.

“I’m just curious,” Calum says, and Michael can hear the pout in his voice. “Like, what, are you wishing that I’ll stay your friend?”

Michael doesn’t answer.

“Wait, are you really?” Calum says slowly. “Because you know that’s ridiculous, right? Nothing in the history of anything could ever compel me to stop being your friend.”

“Yeah, I know,” Michael says. He presses his own hand on top of Calum’s against his chest. “I know.”

“Stop wishing for me,” Calum says gently, lacing their fingers together. “I’m not going anywhere. Do you believe me?”

“Yes, yes, obviously.”

“But?”

Michael exhales. “But I just…whatever force, whatever higher power brought you to me, I don’t want to pretend like I earned your friendship. Like, I got so lucky. I just want to show that I appreciate it, you know? So they don’t take you away.”

“Jesus, Michael,” Calum says, an edge to his voice. “For a guy who says he’s not religious, you sure do put a lot of stock in fate. You ever think maybe I stick around because I like you? As a person? That I like to be around you, and that you make me laugh, and that you’re important to me?”

“I know, I know.”

“Do you?”

“I do,” Michael says. “I know. It’s just.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what it is. I’m not usually superstitious. You’re just, you’re important to me. And…every 11:11 since that first one, I’ve wished that you’d stay, and you’re still here, so.”

Calum huffs a laugh. “You’re an idiot, Michael.”

“What? I’m baring my soul and you’re calling me an idiot?”

“Yes, I am. Do you hear yourself? You’re trusting a clock to decide if and when our friendship will end? Make your own decisions, Mikey. Are you leaving me anytime soon?”

“No,” Michael says forcefully. “I would never.”

“Well neither would I,” Calum says. He sounds steady, certain; there’s something calming about the ease with which he says it. “So why don’t you trust in me, and this,” he gestures between them, “and stop wishing about it on a clock.”

Michael watches Calum in the dark. “Okay,” he says. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“I know,” Calum says.

“I love you,” Michael tells him, and it’s the simplest thing he’s ever said. It’s different to say it now than it has been before, after Calum’s done him a favor or helped him with something difficult, but it feels truer than it ever has.

Calum smiles. “I know,” he says again, and before Michael can reprove him for quoting Star Wars, he closes the space between them and presses a soft kiss to Michael’s lips.

Michael feels warmth cracking open his chest, and he squeezes Calum’s hand when he moves away. “Are you gonna say it back or will I have to make a new wish on 11:11?”

Calum chuckles sleepily. “Of course I love you, Michael,” he says, curling into Michael’s chest. “I don’t know how else to know you.”

Michael falls asleep. Calum is still there in the morning, and even after Michael stops wishing on 11:11, every morning after that, as constant as clockwork, Calum is there. Michael never wishes for him to stay again. He knows Calum’s not going anywhere.

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kiss-my-freckle · 3 years

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The Apothecary

8x5 episode description: “The task force investigates an organization of bank robbers with a special expertise in stealing from other criminals. An old blacklist case resurfaces.”

My suspect: The Apothecary

Reasons why:

1. Red’s collapses.

The timing is perfect because it’s like a reverse of The Apothecary’s episode. Instead of suspecting Dembe of poisoning him, Red’s first collapse came at a time when Dembe’s imam was abducted. Red has no reason to suspect him, which removes their need to do an exact repeat.

Snakes -

The woman’s snakeskin boots as she entered the room.

"The lab did find one distinct element in the molecular structure of the drops taken from Robert Dahle’s apartment. A peptide unique to the venom of Bungarus flaviceps, also known as the red-headed krait."

Jennifer's reference in S6 that reminds me of Liz's reference in S4 and ties in Red's reference in S2.

"I'm the snake in the grass."

"I’ll do my job, but I am done cozying up to that snake."

"Our fake father's a criminal, and our real one's a snake."

Orion Relocation Services + Fate -

There are other seeds, like Dembe standing by the Orion stained glass window.

The Hunter and his arrows. This made me think of The Deer Hunter and Liz's marionette comment, which she first mentioned to Ressler in The Longevity Initiative (2x17).

This also pulls in Keenler’s Capricorn Killer soundtrack.

♪ What arrow? At what angle? And what angel? ♪

And I already know Agnes is that angel because she was referenced twice, by the woman from Paris and Skip Sutherland.

“She’s an angel.”

“For a surcharge, I’ll even watch the cherub.”

Red’s Stairway To Heaven comment. "Who the hell's Elizabeth Keen?" because Liz was wrong. "I'm expecting a little devil of my own." As Red already warned us she would be. "What makes you so sure you're not wrong this time?"

My question is, what the hell happened? You did. You and Agent Ressler.

All that glitters is gold + Like I said, silver linings

Red’s symptoms, which mirror that of his original poisoning, only it’s more like an ongoing attack rather than a one-shot. I think they’re getting the formula wrong because The Apothecary didn’t have Red’s medical file. Kate only needed so much from him anyway because of her skill set.

“Well, just that whoever poisoned him knew his medical history - intimately. The toxins were uniquely designed to target his body chemistry.”

She attended medical school and she knew of Red’s medical history.

"Your tremors are gone. But not the underlying condition."

His tremors were gone because he wasn't drinking the wine.

"Fun fact - Li Qing Yuen ate wolfberries every day of his life and was said to have lived to the ripe old age of 256."

The tests -

“We thought, at first, you may have had a series of mini strokes. But the MRIs, the EEGs, they ruled that out.”

“Vitals are - okay. Pulse. You need an MRI as well as a CT-scan.”

The medical file -

“There were no medical records, nothing about Reddington on file.”

“About my chart.”

The wine (with both his collapses) -

“An old blacklist case” for an “old friend”

“Elizabeth, I found the wine that was used to administer the poison.”

“What? Everyone knows wine is dehydrating.”

The difference in doctors -

Dr. Clemons: "Not for her."

Dr. Stark: "Someone she cared about."

For the same reason the woman from Paris didn't turn to Norman Devane for herself, Red didn't turn to Spalding Stark for himself. He's trying to donate to someone he's related to, someone he actually cares about. That's why Red isn't collapsing, having tremors, or showing signs of vision and/or hearing impairment when he visits Dr. Stark, only when he visits Dr. Clemons. He's seeing two doctors for two different reasons. That’s why Dr. Stark purposefully stated that he doesn’t test on children. He’d experiment on Red because technically, he’s considered terminally ill. He has a running hit on his head. Dr. Stark would provide Red with hope of saving his future - Agnes, his granddaughter. Agnes runs opposite Ames in The Pharmacist. That’s why Red is financing Stark.

“My - My daughter’s pregnant. I want to see my grandchild. I can get you the money.”

Just as he financed Dr. Shaw to save Liz.

2. Elodie killing her husband.

Taking note how Aram's dialogue to Elodie's dead husband mirrors Red's comment to Tom in 5x8.

"I, uh - I know this is super awkward. But I think this might be in your best interest."

"I’ll say this for you - you’ve always believed that you were acting in her best interest."

As well as Red’s comment to Kate.

"And yet, I know you believe what you did was best for Elizabeth, which is why I brought you here."

Aram's comment... lol

"Quick stick. Oh, God. Oh."

This ties in Liz's second memory wipe. “You were drugged. Propofol, Tramadol.” imo, the reason they've been mentioning Tom so much lately.

Add in Elodie's comment -

"Who comes up with all the nicknames? General Shiro. The Pharmacist. The Apothecary.”

And Aram’s -

“You used me. You got me to open up to you. That’s why you kept asking about Blacklisters. To seduce me into giving you a murder weapon.”

3. “stealing from other criminals” like Red’s statement to Marvin.

"I shouldn’t be surprised. We’re criminals, after all. It’s in our nature to betray."

Judas hits back to The Pharmacist (Dr. Stark).

“I’ve always found stories of betrayal to be so compelling, so tragic for all those involved. Judas, Iago, men who were beloved by those they’d betrayed.”

♪ There is a judas among us Nobody here we can trust There is a judas among us ♪

4. Marvin and Becky.

This is a man who already lost a son to suicide.

"They tracked him down, of course. Returned the child to his mother. Marvin was disbarred, convicted, and incarcerated. A year later, Timothy hung himself. He was 15."

Went to prison for three years because of his work with Red.

"He forced the FBI to release you from prison a week before your parole so that you could become his accomplice and help him escape during a police standoff. You had a new fiancé at the time, a whole life waiting. What do you have now, Marvin? Alone, on the run til you die?"

While incarcerated, lost his chance to have children with Becky.

"Becky hit menopause while I was in that bird cage. We wanted kids, but if you must know, I had performance anxiety during our conjugal visits."

The bird references are everywhere. Atticus at the mental hospital. Red wanting to hear the birds sing in Isabella Stone's episode. Agnes and her cuckoo clock. Mato and his cuckoo clock. Red wanting to hear the bird sing in Miss Rebecca Thrall's episode.

"Because I am working in a toy store!"

Then Marvin went to work in the toy section, which likely upset him more, but it's as close to kids as he'll get. It’s also likely he did time with The Apothecary (Asa Hightower) because they took the death penalty off the table in exchange for curing Reddington.

"I’m here because I need information about the prison where you served. Wallens Ridge, something’s happening inside those walls, and I need to..."

"You take the death penalty off the table, and I’ll tell you how to cure Raymond Reddington."

The father Asa became, the father Marvin wishes he could be. Asa raping his wife pushes to Hannah Hayes' episode.

5. My predictions for Ressler.

I already did a full-length post on my predictions for Ressler. Not sure where it is and I don't feel like looking for it, so I’ll keep it basic. Ressler went with Red to Dr. Stark’s lab FOR A REASON. Red’s two-for-one sale will become his two-for-one investment. “This is gonna be a gas.” Damn right, it is. Ressler’s gonna look at Red’s medical file in the hopes of helping Liz, only to find out Red is Katarina Rostova aka N-13. Then Red is gonna threaten Ressler with fire just as he did Minister D because it’s all about those blackmail dialogues - found in Minister D and The Informant, as well as the one Garvey handed to us with the bones. Add in Dom’s warning to Liz in 8x2 because knowing is enough.

“I don’t bite. Unless you ever utter my name. In which case, I’ll gut you like a fish and feed you to the lobsters.”

While Red is threatening him, Ressler’s gonna talk his way onto Dr. Stark’s table like Norman Devane was, only it’ll be for a DNA test to see if he's the father of Agnes. “Because I honestly don’t want her to worry. Whether she does or not is ENTIRELY up to you.” This will be what saves his pretty face from fire, and follow through with Tom’s 4x8 iou. Because Agnes is a Ressler, not a Keen. imo, Ressler’s gonna save two people - Red and Agnes. Red’s two-for-one investment simply by bringing Ressler to Stark’s lab. Because Red knows Agnes is in need of a donation, but he has no idea he’s being poisoned. Ressler’s gonna realize Red is being poisoned, while Red is gonna realize Ressler is the father of Agnes. The not-so- cliché future in-laws.

The Apothecary hits in so many directions.

#Rederina #Anti-Tom Keen #Anti-Keen2 #Keenler baby theory #memory wipe theory #My predictions

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yourmomswallet · 5 years

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Imagine...

Meeting Fugo while he’s playing the piano. ***Part 5 Spoilers***

Why were you at this bar at midday? What compelled you to walk 4 blocks from work, just to sit and watch this lonely looking man play the piano? His fingers move with such passion, it seems he’s been perfecting his abilities for years. After you sat down at a table, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. His eyes scan the keyboard, solemn and reflective like the haunting melodies he plays.

You can’t handle the glum attitude he plays with. Whether or not he’s the bar’s employee, you have to make amends to the aura he emits. Grabbing something out of your briefcase, you walk over towards him with purpose.

“Excuse me, sir? Could you play something a little more... upbeat?” you ask him, trying to be as polite as possible.

He doesn’t look up, only ignoring you and playing more intensely, to the point where you think he’ll break the ivory off.

You frown at his intentional disregard. Money appears in the blonde’s face, which makes him glare at your hand. Couldn’t you see he’s pouring out his anger and grief and guilt? He wants to stab that hand with a fork. A fork. Stabbing. He can only think of Narancia. Every little thing he tries to forget keeps coming back to haunt him.

You shake the bills a bit to get his attention. His playing stops.

“So, Mr. Piano Man? You up to the task?” Your eyebrow raises.

The money is smacked out of your hand. Unbelief floods your face and emotions. How dare he?

You bend down and pick the money off the floor. Now angry with the man, you slam your fist on the keyboard, hard enough to get his attention. The sudden smash makes him look up at you. Oh, shit. He’s crying.

“A-Are you okay, sir? Did I scare you o-or something? Sir?”

You can’t seem to get him to calm down, his own hands banging the keys in frustration. Why can’t he seem to get them out of his mind? Was this a curse from not being loyal to his friends? He did what he needed to do, so it was justified.

The small piano stool was long enough for you to scoot yourself on to comfort the thin man. You hesitate to wrap your arms around him, waiting for him to push your arms off. He never makes a move, only his shoulders that prove he’s crying. Looking around, you see the customers are looking at your situation. Scowling at them, their stares disperse. You pat the skin and bones of a man. He feels like he could break, like he’s eaten nothing for the past months.

“Is this okay? D-Do you- Am I overstepping? I know we just met, but I can’t leave without making sure you’re okay.” Concern is all he can hear from you.

“I don’t want your pity. I don’t want your money. And I especially don’t need your HUG!” He pushes your arms away, making you jump off the stool.

“Hey! This isn’t pity, this is empathy. I know how it feels to breakdown, to hurt. We all need someone to lean on in times like this. Do you believe me?” Your anger is dispersed by the real worry. “I’m not telling you to let me in on your top secrets or anything. Just let me be a shoulder to cry on for now.”

“Why do you think I’m deserving of this treatment? I’ve done nothing but wrong.” His fingers fly across the keys, making a terrible sound. His fist pounds into the ivory again. At this rate, he’ll be paying for another piano again.

“H-Hey, let’s take our hands off the expensive instrument. Don’t need the owner getting involved, now do we?” You’re trying your hardest to keep him invested in the conversation, but it’s not working too well.

His warm hands are gathered up by your cool, smooth ones. He hasn’t had this kind of physical contact in ages. His body soaks it up, wanting more gentle caresses and hugs. But his brain, his brain tells him he’s only deserving of pain and suffering after all he’s done. Or hadn’t done.

“Tell me, Mr. Piano Man, what’s your name?” you ask him while stroking his hands with yours.

“I can’t say. I’d put you in danger. I can’t have another person being hurt because of me.”

“You act as if I can’t handle myself. Geez. Well, if you don’t want to say, I’ll just have to read your mind. Is that okay with you?”

“There’s no way you have psychic abilities of any kind. It’s not humanly possible,” he states, looking at you skeptically. “Go ahead, if you actually can.”

“All right then. This won’t hurt at all.”

“What do you mea- Hey! That’s my ear!” he shouts. He cups his left in after your finger leaves the canal.

“This is the way I can read your mind, sort of. Just give me a second.”

His visible disgust is shown when you stick the wax in your mouth. You’re insane. What kind of person sticks the bodily products of a stranger in their mouth and claims it makes them read minds? Maybe you’re the one with more problems than him.

“Let’s begin. A child prodigy, sort of college dropout, gangster, and all-around angry son of a bitch. Any of that right, Fugo?” You raise your eyebrows, signaling for him to correct you.

“E-Everything you just said was technically… correct. I might have some anger issues, but who doesn’t!” He glares at you. Too caught up in the moment, he realizes that the ability to taste earwax and learn about someone’s past isn’t exactly normal. He lowers his voice. “Are you perhaps a Stand user?”

The confusion in your voice is evident as you tell him you haven’t a clue of what he’s talking about.

“The ability manifested when I visited the desert in the United States. All of a sudden I had this magical gift. I’m not telling how I figured out how it works though. That’s personal.”

“It’s most likely a Stand of some kind. Since you know all about me, you must know about my Stand, Purple Haze. Don’t worry, no one can see Stands unless they’re a Stand user themselves.”

Some weird, rabid looking creature and man hybrid appears behind him. If that’s what a “Stand” looks like, you definitely don’t have one.

“S-So this is… a Stand?” You reach out to touch it, but all you get is drool. Your face scrunches up in disgust.

“Why do you look so appalled? You just ate my earwax,” Fugo says.

“There’s a difference between wanting to touch someone’s bodily fluids and getting them without consent.” You wipe your hand off on your pants. You must look like an idiot trying to touch something no one else can theoretically see.

“So, now that we’ve been introduced, can I try to help you? I’ve got about…” You look down at your watch. “10 minutes before I have to be back at work. I have a feeling you need a real hug.”

“I said I don’t need hugs. I don’t need anything, all right?”

“The least I can do is give you money for some food. I don’t want my new friend starving to death.” You place the money onto the piano.

“Who says we’re friends?”

“Me, of course.”

“Not to call you a liar, but I highly doubt that you want to be my friend.” He looks away, fingers playing another sad melody.

“Will you stop it with the self-loathing at the moment? I want to be friends because I want to. No other false intentions.”

“Sure, whatever you say. Fine. Prove what you say is true. I can’t blindly trust someone with information on me.” He stares you down with an intensity that has you wondering why you’re shaking inside. “Be here at the same time tomorrow. Maybe I’ll trust you then.”

“Okay, doubting Thomas. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Promise.”

You walk away to grab your briefcase. So much for getting those papers filled out. As you leave the bar, you can hear the faint sound of a more pleasant sounding tune coming from the piano. You grin, happy that you’ve given him something to dwell on other than the deaths of his friends.

The bar door opens and closes constantly as Fugo looks behind him, obviously searching for you. It’s not like he wants to be your friend, but he doesn’t need anyone with his personal information walking around the streets of Italy. By the time your lunch break should be finished, he sees the exact briefcase as yesterday. Your bright smile and wave make him feel a little happier for some reason.

“Told you I’d be here! Sorry that I’m late. I had to talk to my boss about getting the rest of the day off.”

“N-No problem. Might I ask, why did you request for the day off?” Fugo is genuinely curious about your actions and intentions. There’s no way you would want to spend the rest of your busy day with a lousy nobody like him.

“I wanted full, uninterrupted time to keep you company. Did you eat anything with the money I gave you yesterday?” You seem awfully interested in his well-being, from what he can gather.

“Y-Yeah, I got a small margarita pizza. I’ll pay you back for it.” He goes to pull his wallet out of his pocket, but your hand stops him.

“Don’t bother with that. It’s useless.” You sound like Giorno. The new recruit. Now the Boss himself. He feels like crying again but holds back, not wanting to cause a scene like yesterday.

“Then what am I supposed to do? I can’t leave a debt unpaid.”

“Teach me to play, Mr. Piano Man,” you tell him, a smile on your face.

“I have the tendency to get angry when I’m frustrated. I’m warning you now.”

“Oh, scoot over. Friends can’t hurt friends.” You put your briefcase down and push him to the right side of the stool.

Friend. Fugo finds himself liking the idea, oddly enough.

#fugo x reader #Jojo Part 5 #jojos bizarre adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #pannacotta fugo #jojo headcanons #JJBA #jjba golden wind #Golden Wind #Vento Aureo #spoilers #angst #AO3 fanfic

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braham-is-bi · 4 years

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Okay so normally I would have left it at the bitchy post and move on but honestly I’ve had problems with Caithe’s writing for a long time and it’s high time I made a rant post so I can stop thinking about it.

Under the cut is a giant rant about how Anet shafted Caithe’s character and didn’t do her nearly close to the justice she deserved, while in the process messing with the Commander’s story in ways that still bother me and that I’ve rewritten in my own personal canon.

Tagging this as long post in case the readmore breaks. Tagging it as Caithe for personal filing. Don’t like it, don’t read it.

(spoilers for the entire game up through episode 5 of season 4 as well as mentions of abuse and criticisms of Caithe.)

TL;DR - Caithe’s writing is mediocre at best, but she had a lot of potential that was squandered. In my opinion.

The first major problem I have with Caithe’s story is simply the fact that the first and only wlw relationship we’re shown in game for a long time (I think 2 years? no canon major wlw relationships until the end of Season 1) is abusive. While I know Caithe as a character is great way for a lot of wlw to project and relate, it’s still not a great start.

That said, it’s because of this past abusive relationship that we get the base of Caithe’s character and the potential for growth. Caithe closes herself off from everyone and clearly has depression that’s affecting her worldview. Relationships only end in pain, friendships will get you hurt. Combine this with the secret (the Sylvari origin) she’s carrying that alienates her from her own kind and you’ve got the makings of a really dark backstory that gives plenty of potential for a story of “no matter what you’ve been through, you can learn to be happy again.”

In my opinion her involvement in the personal story is....eh. It matches the rest of the writing there. A bit flat, but overall fine with a note of hope at the end that’s pleasant. The Commander is there to bring hope to the hopeless and to beat dragon minions with their favorite stick.

Skipping to season 2, I personally think this is the only truly good season of writing for Caithe. Albeit her involvement is a bit sparse (that’s the problem with trying to juggle so many characters.) but the moments she does get are good. Caithe’s betrayal of the Commander by stealing the egg was honestly one of my favorite moments of her writing. I was genuinely upset with her.

But this leads us to more insight into how terrible Caithe’s relationship with Faolain was and just how devoted Caithe can be to those she loves as well as how abusers can use their power to make their victims do things they would normally never do. I mean Caithe helped Faolain slaughter an entire village of peaceful centaurs (never mind the incredibly racist Native American stereotypes behind the centaurs and the fact that the tribe was killed by British coded people...that’s a different analysis for a different time). It reveals just how truly heavy Caithe’s burden is while also giving us a sense of terror and realization of how fucked things are.

And then she abandons us to fight the Shadow of the Dragon all by ourselves (a particularly hurtful callback to a Sylvari commander).

In Heart of Thorns her writing is...up and down. Finally finding her and having the egg choose us over her is...a moment I’m conflicted on. Yet another moment of the Commander overshadowing her. But it also gives her more justification to close herself off further.

I would have liked more emotional talk from Caithe to vinetooth Faolain, but I understand why they didn’t do that. Caithe is, at the end of the day, extremely goal oriented. Worrying about her feelings while Mordremoth still lives is simply not something she can do.

Season 3 marks the starts of my real problems with Caithe and her writing. The base game through HoT sets us up with the understanding that Caithe has a one track mind. Whatever her current goal is, that’s the only thing she sees. Blinders on, all there is forward. It’s a good character trait that can be both a good quality and a serious flaw.

But the thing anet seems to forget is that once the blinders come off, Caithe can see the mess around her.

Her eldest brother is dead, as well as her friend and her ex lover. And at least part of it was her own doing. Not only did Caithe steal the egg and constantly distract the Commander from their goal of saving Dragon’s Watch and Trahearne, but Caithe knew that the Sylvari were Mordremoth’s minions and told nobody. Imagine if Caithe had revealed this to Trahearne. Imagine if the Pact had been more cautious entering the fray, uncertain what may happen when the Sylvari get close to the dragon that should be controlling them. Things could have been wildly different.

Instead there is no reflection. There’s no moment where you find Caithe just outside of Eir’s place, grieving and trying to process all her emotions. There’s no chance for the Commander to truly be upset with Caithe.

I certainly don’t count the forgiveness Caithe tried to force out of us in the middle of battle as proper anger or emotional processing for either of them. Why can’t I be mad that Caithe didn’t tell anybody the truth? Why can’t Caithe have a moment where she finally talks about her present emotions and has personal growth? Why must her character be so stagnant?

She literally ends her scene with a moment of self pity, proving she’s learned nothing this entire time.

I have no problems with her part in the egg chamber. Aurene is her new Wyld Hunt and she wants to prove to the Commander that she wants to help. Even if the Commander knows better than to trust her anymore.

And now we have to hop allllll the way to season 4 episode 4 to talk about Caithe again. Cause apparently Anet isn’t sexist for not including their women characters, but fans are sexist for not liking them.

Caithe appears at the end of A Star to Guide Us, revealing with a comment that she’s been around for a lot longer than she’s given on but didn’t feel compelled to help us or defend/comfort Aurene. In fact, she has yet another moment of self pity. Telling us that she felt like Aurene didn’t need her anymore cause she flew to Elona to try and save us from death instead of sitting in the egg chamber with Caithe. Cause that’s what I want from the adoptive mother of my child (who’s Wyld Hunt is literally to protect said child), abandonment at the first sign of independence. Not bothering to help save said child from death but then looking for pity and sympathy from the parent who literally died for Aurene.

All or Nothing has one moment that bothers me in particular regarding Caithe. Her branding. While I don’t see anything wrong with the act itself, it was honestly quite touching, I think it was handled poorly and completely erases the Commander’s connection to Aurene. The Commander has had a link to Aurene since she was an egg. That’s YEARS for the bond to grow between them. In A Bug In The System Aurene literally lets us see through her eyes. In Season 3 she’s shown to be following us around while we save the day. There’s an entire mastery line dedicated to our bond with her.

But instead Caithe gets everything. The psychic bond, the new look, all of the story attention. She’s even shown to be one of the only one who cares about Aurene’s feelings (Taimi being the other) even above the Commander.

And the whole reason they do this is so they can finally move Caithe’s character along. Because she’s never once in the writing allowed to grow or learn from her experience. The only way Caithe is allowed to have a happy ending is if someone else fixes her problems and fills the pain up with purpose once again.

That isn’t good writing.

Caithe never once in her entire story arc grows on her own. She’s never allowed to get better or to see more to life unless it’s handed to her on a crystal platter.

Does this mean that I hate her? No. Does it mean that I dislike her writing? Oh yeah. Caithe is repeatedly forced back into her personality from the base game and not allowed to develop in any way unless someone else makes her. That’s infuriating. Where is my story about someone leaving an abusive relationship, trying to make up for the mistakes they made when they were younger, and learning to find happiness in the people around her on the way?

I see why people love her. I see why wlw care about her so much. But to say that her writing is perfect is a lie and shows that you’re projecting your own fanon onto her to fill in the gaps.

You can still love a character while admitting the flaws both in them and their writing.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #caithe #long post

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dicecast · 5 years

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The Problem with Thanos Part 1

(Note I wrote this after Infinity Wars but before Endgame)

So I have some very complicated feelings about Thanos, and this isn’t helped by the fact that he is the first majorly popular villain from the most popular media franchise in history, so the pressure is on in regards to him. So I feel compelled to have a few disclaimers off the bat.

Firstly, yes, Thanos deserves his title as the best Marvel villain, though that isn’t saying much (I’m not really counting Loki cause by this point he is as much an anti-hero rather than a full antagonist) and his presence basically made Infinity Wars the one of better overall marvel movie thus far. He is a good character, a good actor, and a good villain. So calm down fans, I’m not saying Thanos himself is bad

Secondly, I don’t think anybody is bad for liking the character, Infinity Wars is a fine movie, you aren’t bad, don’t get defensive of your big purple mass murderer ok children?

Third, and most importantly, the actual dynamics of the character….aren’t bad. At least they aren’t bad necessarily. Everything about Thanos works, if you give Marvel a lot more credit than they deserve. But

Ok so for those who have managed to avoid the marvel franchise, let me just say, good life choice, keep it up, but here is the beat.

Thanos is an alien Titan Demigod thing who realizes that as life expands across the universe, we are using up the natural resources. So, like the world’s most ambitious Druid, he proposes to solve the problem of overpopulation in the most literal way possible. To wit he wants to get all the Infinity Stones, basically these all powerful magical items, and wipe out 50% of the universe’s population with a snap of his fingers. The heroes attempt to defeat him and…they fail. He snaps his fingers, 50% of everyone in the universe dies, movie over, sucks to be you. Literally 50% of everybody just turns to dust, including fucking baby Face Spider Man.

(wait....)

Which was a pretty shocking ending, well played Disney. I really do think the final death sequence was the most impressive overall sequence in any of the marvel movies. Unlike most Marvel villain, he has a clear motive, distinct personality, and is actually you know…a challenge for the protagonists, and as I said, he is a good character. Cause he had like feelings and shit. But I see a lot of people talking about Thanos like he is the real hero or he has some reasonable points or he is an anti-hero and…no he really isn’t. He isn’t just evil cause he wants to kill trillions of people, he is also objectively wrong about pretty much everything.

Now this isn’t actually a bad thing. THanos is the villain, I’m ok with the villain being flawed, I mean that is kind of the point. In fact what makes Thanos a good character (maybe, kinda, sort of, its complicated) is the fact that he is the exact type of person who would fall for this reductive thinking, because his greatest personal flaw is his inflexibility, so again his following a wrong value system makes sense

What makes Thanos interesting is that he is an extremely proud person who doesn’t have the normal conventions of pride, in that he really isn’t making it all about him. Thanos genuinely isn’t a glory hound, he doesn’t want attention, he isn’t seeking recognition, he doesn’t want glory or fame and seems to be pretty happy living as melon farmer. Its more the arrogance of thinking he knows the answer everybody else doesn’t rather than wanting something actively from others. Which is at least the foundations for an interesting character. Thanos’ perception of self is one of the guy who makes the necessary sacrifices so others won’t have too, he is the guy who stoically dirties his own hands on behalf of the collective good. Basically is the moral equivalent of the humblebrag, he doesn’t ask for praise or glorify himself directly, but it is a core part of who he is, like the most passive aggressive utilitarian.

And because he firmly believes he knows exactly how things should be done and what steps ought to be taken, he is utterly without imagination. He basically is like ‘oh this is how the thing needs to be done’ and does it, it never occurs to him to challenge his preexisting perceptions or think outside the box. Which is why, when he has a know, Infinity Stones he sticks to the 50% mass death plan rather than…I don’t know…use the infinity stones.

Sorry, maybe I didn’t empathizes that enough

Thanos wants to solve a problem of limited resources with…infinity stones. Seriously do you not see a problem of imagination here?

And again, all of that would be fine, if this was on purpose, again Thanos is the Villain and villains being wrong The problem is how the movie frames it, specifically as a moral issue.

Cause they seem to think this is an ethical debate, throughout the movie, the protagonists present the argument as one of morality.

“Oh no, Thanos, don’t kill 50% of the universe that would be wrong”, which of course Thanos doesn’t respond to. The dynamic being presented here is ‘idealistic good guys’ vs. ‘practical bad guy’ but that is just the absolute wrong argument to make.

But the argument that should be made is “Oh no Thanos don’t kill 50% of the universe, that is a horribly ineffectively and ultimately flawed way to solve the problem of overpopulation and limited resources”. Cause like…this isn’t a moral debate, it’s a basic practical debate. Why bother arguing about the merits of utilitarian morality when the act in question isn’t even utilitarian, it’s just dumb. The movie presents this as “efficiency vs. morality” but in practice is actually “flawed methodology vs. a ,theory which isn’t fundamentally stupid.” Cause guess what people, murdering 50% of all life in an instance doesn’t actually fix limited resources, especially when many of those living things are resources.

This is a horrible way to solve the problem of overpopulation. Even ignoring the whole “Infinity” thing, killing 50% of the population simply doesn’t work because

1) Its utterly clumsy. See actual conservationists have to be extremely careful about population control, because reducing biodiversity risks weakening the overall eco system. The universe losing half its population would cause a massive shock to every ecosystem simultaneously, causing further damage which actually would make things worse.

2) While overpopulation is a problem, it isn’t really the major problem in terms of the environment, over consumption is a much larger issue. If you killed 50% of America, most of that would be India and China, but the US consumes far more resources than your population numbers would suggest. And the largest environmental issue on our planet, namely the whole “We are all going to die of Climate change bit” is actually not a population issue or even a resource issue so much as a “the world is literally getting hotter” issue, reduce the population all you want that doesn’t really reduce our Carbon foot print as long as we still use fossil fuels. If the earth had only 3 billion people, but all of those people lived in first world countries, we would still be facing the problem of climate change.

3) You will have to do it again in a few centuries anyways, remember its more than 50%, cause you have the inevitable deaths caused when planes don’t have pilots, doctors cease to exist, infants who die due to abandonment, and the panic as society changes in the blink of an eye, which risks war and worse, which doesn’t just reduce the population it also cause more environmental damage. Which impedes you know…actual conservationist efforts. Its not like anybody learns their lesion from this, unless Thanos plans to make himself immortal, he is going to have to do this on a regular basis. Its like trying to solve the Baltimore crime issues by nuking the Eastern Seaboard, it doesn’t work. And what is depressing is that I know some people in the comments will totally try advocating that.

See its not actually “Idealistic vs practical” its “Practical vs. impartial” or rather ‘simple vs. complicated”. Thanos is faced with a complicated nuanced multi-dimensional problem and his solution to it is the most literal minded simplistic one imaginable, snapping his fingers and hoping that somehow works. And you hear certain people (douchbags) advocate this sort of thing all the time, presenting ‘simple solutions that people would do if they only had the guts” like

“IF you want to solve homelessness, just kill them all”

“If you want to solve terrorism, just nuke the middle east”

“IF you want to solve immigration, just build a wall”

See these solutions aren’t just ethically wrong they…don’t work. And it imagines a narrative that our leaders aren’t doing these things because they are pussies rather than because the problems actually aren’t easily solve. Trust me if there was a simple and unethical way to solve any of the world problems, our leaders would have done so by now.

(Look politics)

Which again, isn’t necessarily bad, again, Thanos is the bad guy and he is the exact type of person who is going to think the problem with the world is that nobody is strong willed enough to solve the simple problem rather than you know..research the issue. But that isn’t actually the problem. The Problem is a 19th century pseudo scientist named Thomas Malthus

Thomas Malthus was an English Victor (imagine a Catholic priest bit without the dignity) who noticed that when it came to rabbits, once their natural predators went extinct, they population exploded, they overconsumed the resources around them and then they were left without any population. Malthus theorized that as war, famine and pestilence decreased, the human population grew and resources would grow scarce and then we would all die. Thus we need to have some degree of hardship to keep the population in check. Because humans can double their population every 20 years, we are all screwed, which is what he calls the “Cycle of Misery”. And this theory is…entirely wrong.

(Absolutely full of shit)

To quote John Greene

“And what is amazing about the persistence of this theory is its complete lack of connection to actual human history”. Thomas Malthus hasn’t just been debunked, he was debunked in his own life time. Cause in reality, population does grow as industrialization reduces infant mortality and disease, but then it goes down once the standard of living raises to a certain rate. As people get a better standard of living, they get a greater choice in having kids, how many kids they want and how frequently they wish to have them, to say nothing about increased access to contraceptives and sex education. Which is why Western Europe has a lower birthrate than India. The over population problem of the modern world not because life in undevolped countries isn’t hard enough, its because it is too hard, people in bad circumstances have more kids, better educated people living comfortable lives have less kids, which is why assuming we don’t all die from climate change, the population will eventually start to decrease over time. See Thomas Malthus’s theories played a major role in the English response to the Irish Potato Famine, and the man most responsible for the suffering Charles Trevelyan, justified much of his policies by saying he was preventing a future cycle of misery. That the Famine was not the fault of poor English economic planning or the long standing poverty of Ireland, or you know…everything else about the English occupation, but was instead the Irish’ fault for having more kids, and the Famine was a good thing for keeping the population down to reasonable levels. To quote Trevelyan

“The judgement of god sent the calamity to teach the Irish a lesson and that Calamity must not be too much mitigated…the real evil with which we have to contend is not the physical evil of the famine, but the moral evil of the selfish, perverse, and turbulent character of the people”

1.5 million Irish people died as a result of this policy and another million emigrated to America, and Ireland is still pretty pissed off about it to this day. See Malthius thought the world population boom was a very recent thing, when in fact that has been a constant in human history, and with the exception of the Black Death, no amount of hardship has every reduce human population growth.

Thanos is drawing on Malthusian theories and it just…isn’t a good theory, it wasn’t then and it wasn’t now (and yes I know it did jump start a lot of other much more valid theories, here is your token acknowledgment of the good Malthus did here, I hope it was worth 1.5 million people). It’s a theory which sounds good but doesn’t really work in reality, because you know…the world is complicated, and a tiny amount of land can grow more than enough food to feed everybody on the planet. We have right now, the capacity to make the entire planet run on renewable energy and end starvation, it’s actually utilizing what we have which is the problem, one that doesn’t have a simple solution.

And I have to reiterate this again, none of this is necessarily a bad thing, Thanos is after all the villain, having a villain who is inspired by Malthusian ideology makes sense, after all its something the heroes of the movies can oppose and overcome, you know like in a story. And not only is Thanos a realistic depiction of the exact type of person who would take Malthusian theory seriously, he also is a nuanced complicated and interesting character in his own right. All of this would be perfectly fine except…lets be honest, Disney isn’t actually going to refute Malthusian economics. Maybe the next movie will surprise me, but what is most likely going to happen is that the heroes will use the power of love, friendship or just general idealism to basically argue that “The ends don’t’ justify the means” and defeat Thanos by punching him really hard in his big purple face. And while yes, the ends don’t necessarily justify the means, that isn’t the argument worth having here, because guess what? You don’t need to, weather or not the ends justify the means is ultimately irrelevant because…the ends don’t even work in the first place.

I see a lot of people walking away from Infinity Wars acting like this is a complicated issue when it really isn’t, and that gets to why Malthusian economics conintune to be believed when they really aren’t true. To again quote John Greene “I think there is a very seductive logic to the idea that resources, especially food is finite.” And this movie contributes to a very false understanding to population and resources, and it’s the worse form of a false understanding, not that presents itself as wise (See also the Population Bomb). Again, despite having far more people on earth today than we did 500 years ago, fewer people will die of starvation this year than any other period in human life, and that isn’t by %, that is the total number. Human existence is not a zero sum game, it is possible for me to have my life improved and yours as well, this all or nothing mentality Thanos advocates presents itself as selfishness but instead it is simply diluted.

This is not even getting into the other nonsense regarding population numbers which we will cover next time, or Why Thanos not being a racist makes his character weaker.

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erintoknow · 5 years

Text

my body is here and i am inside

fallen hero: rebirth fanfiction Ariadne deals with the aftermath of ‘helping’ Lady Argent find who was responsible for possessing her. ~3.3k words [ao3]

Prev: [maybe it will break and maybe it won’t]

Title from [Panic Attack by Liza Anne]

content warning for uh, suicidal thinking

–––

The wind whips the ends of your jacket about you. Stubbornly hold the halves together rather than zip up. Let the bay air curl around you, toxic smog and all. The Millennial Span Bridge isn’t really meant for foot traffic. There had been plans once, setting up a mini-mall in the bridge supports but the money had dried up not long after the bridge proper was built and the shops never opened.

But the walkway remained. Just had to hop two locked gates. No razor-wire, no electricity. Hardly a real deterrent. By the halfway point you’re high up enough above the water that you can see the occasional boat passing under. The sun is starting to set at this point – it’s been a long day – but you keep your sunglasses on.

Old L.A. would have have never called for a bridge like this, as far as you understand it. But things change when half your geography drops into the sea. There’s a safety railing to run your hand along, because of course there is. No one wants the bad press of your vanity project becoming a hub for jumpers. But it’s half-assed job. Find a joint that hangs down from the river of cars rumbling over your head and you could climb over it pretty easy.

On the other side and there’s even a convenient lip of metal wide enough for you sit on, let your legs dangle over the void. Kicking freely.

Well.

Here you are, Ariadne.

Now what?

It’s been, what? A few weeks? A month? Meeting Ortega in that diner. You haven’t gone back there since. It felt too portentous. And now the rest of the Rangers know you’re here. And you’re ostensibly alive. Hopefully they believe you about being retired. Hopefully Ortega kept quiet about what you babbled on to her about. She’s always been one to understand your need for privacy, but it’s not like she hasn’t screwed up before in the name of trying to ‘help’ you.

It had been a mistaken to listen to her at all. To let her drag you into somebody’s else’s problem. Why? Because you missed her? You miss plenty of things you can’t have. That doesn’t mean you should go for it. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. And then–

You shudder, hug yourself tight as a wave of nausea washes over you again. God. You’re getting sick of that. Sick of feeling helpless. Sick of feeling powerless. Out of control of your own life. Sick of–

cables, like snakes in the grass,

coiled around your feet. the red threads wrapped

around your wrists pull

tight and move you forward. so much lighter now

that it’s not you that’s moving it

but then who’s driving?

and then there’s herald’s goofy smiling face and

doesn’t he understand that something is wrong?

somebody, anybody, help

Is that what it’s been like for every person you’ve possessed over the past two years? You want to believe Argent just got some unlucky combination; an unusually strong mind and the need to keep her not entirely under. She was just… unlucky. Sorry honey, you rolled snake eyes. Nothing personal, honest.

But Argent is the only mind you’ve actually seen the after effects for. How it has stuck on her like plaque on teeth, eating away at what’s underneath. You’ve never cared before. As long as no one immediately raised the alarm, what did it matter? Possession? Who would believe them? Nobody would. No one’s ever heard of such an ability in all the years the Hero Drug has been around, fucking up humanity.

But the Rangers would believe it.

Because it happened to them.

Because it happened to you.

Because coiled snakes and red strings wormed their way into your head and pointed your own gun at your head. Because the puppeteer tossed you through a window and over the edge.

How many people have you done this to already?

How many will never feel right again for the rest of their lives?

You lean your head back against the metal mesh of the protective webbing that’s supposed to keep you on the other side. Feel the hexagons of steel press against the back of your skull. Cover your face in your hands. You want to cry, can feel it in your lungs. But your throat’s too tight, your eyes are burning, the tears not coming.

Was it that you didn’t know or have you just been running away from the truth the whole time?

This is what you are now. A monster. Or no, a ghost. That’s cute. Maybe that should be your villain moniker. Or fuck it, maybe you won’t bother with one at all. Just roll with whatever the press calls you.

Or maybe they won’t call you anything because your body will have turned up on the beach, another waterlogged victim eaten by the city of devils.

Julia might be sad for a little bit, but it’s hard to imagine. It feels selfish pretending she’d care about you at all. Seven years is a long time. Maybe– maybe the Farm had been lying to you about her, about what she’d done, but that didn’t change the fact that having you in her life would only make Julia’s worse. Any passing pain she might possibly have over your loss again would be worth sparing her what’s coming down the line.

Chen would be relieved, you’re certain. All that talk about being happy you’re alive. You know a sack of bullshit when it’s thrown in your face. He wants you staying far away from his precious Rangers.

Lady Argent would rather just kill you herself. Or would if knew the truth. Maybe you should tell her. Let her have that closure, something you never got. Would that help her or make it worse? You don’t know. And then maybe she wouldn’t actually kill you. Maybe she’d just hand you back over.

Dr. Mortum would be confused about the sudden disappearance of her new favorite business liaison, you’re sure. But she’s been working in the underground for years. People disappear without warning all the time. She’ll have forgotten Jane before the end of the year.

Jane herself… without you to take care of her, she’ll wither and die, comatose as she is. There’s nothing you can do about that. She was a dead woman on life support before you found her. You just staved off the final verdict by a few years is all.

Are you missing anyone? You think that’s everybody. It’s not exactly a compelling list of reasons to stick around.

What reasons do you have to not to step off anyway?

So you can burn the Farm down? Expose the Directive? If you don’t try no one else will. No one else is in a position to even guess at what’s going on like you are. This project has literally been the only thing holding you together since you escaped their clutches two years ago. Sometimes you screw up and fall asleep instead of jumping into Jane and–

You drag your nails against your scalp, force yourself to swallow. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, rapid shallow breaths leaving you lightheaded.

At least out here there’s no one that can see you like this.

A lot more people are going to get hurt before this is over. Unless you stop now.

But if you stop you die.

The water’s far below you. Far enough? You’ll break bones against the water tension on impact. Enough to put you out? You’re not sure on the math. If you live, you probably won’t be in any condition to swim. You’ve always wanted to swim, but you’ve never actually put this body in water, would you float? You don’t know. Would you be able to stay composed until you run out of oxygen or would the animal brain take over and send you in a blind panic?

You don’t want to hurt but… maybe you’d deserve it.

“Enjoying the view?”

You freeze, head in your hands. Slowly you raise your head to find Herald hovering a few feet in front of you. His complete nonchalance at casually defying the pull of gravity feels a little surreal. You stare at him through your tinted lenses, uncomprehending.

Herald tilts his head with an uneasy grin. “Sorry, I was just passing by and thought I saw someone on the bridge. So…”

You close your eyes, breath out. In a way, this is a relief. You can focus all your anger on him instead. He’s obviously lying. ‘Just passing by’. Please. Bullshit. These assholes. As if you needed more proof the Rangers being aware of you now was only going to fill your life with even more problems.

“Are you okay?” Herald frowns and it’s all you can do not to groan. This is absolutely not a conversation you want to go down, and not with goddamn fucking boy-wonder Herald of all people.

“Were you following me, wonderbread?”

“Of course not!”

“D–don’t lie to a telepath, genius. Who put you up to this, Ortega?” There’s a tinge of guilt alright. It’s tempting to delve further, just pry the whole thing out of his head. Is Ortega having you tailed then? You didn’t work with her for five years to not have some idea how she likes to operate.

“Ortega has no idea I’m here, honest.” Huh, he’s telling the truth there. You’re not sure what to make of that. But then, that only leaves on other option.

“Oh. S-so it’s Chen then.” Yep, bingo. “What? Did the Marshal want to make sure I got home safe? How kind.” Why can’t these people just leave you alone to die in peace already?

“That’s– that’s not it,” Herald sighs, you can feel his exasperation. There’s a certain satisfaction in getting to knock that unsettling cheeriness out of his head. “Marshal Steel did ask me to look out for you, okay? But I mean it when I say I was just passing by.”

You open your eyes so you can glare at him.

“To be honest… I… kind of lost track of you three blocks from the building.”

“I don’t a–appreciate being followed.”

Herald dips down before returning back to eye level. “How did you know?”

“Of– of course I knew,” you lie, “I’ve been at this for years.”

“Were you always this cautious, back… uh, before?”

You flinch, scratch your neck as you avoid looking at him. “Y–yeah. Absolutely.” He buys the lie, thank god.

“Doesn’t that get tiring?”

Someone laughs, sharp and bitter and you realize it’s yours. Rub your eyes with the back of one hand. “Look. I value my privacy. O–okay?” You try to emphasize the word privacy, hope he’ll get the hint.

“I can respect that,” says Herald, the man who continues to not leave your presence. “Actually, um…” He hunches down, “I’ve been wanted to asking something, if you don’t mind, Sidestep?”

“Okay first; It’s Ariadne. Second; I do mind, actually. B–buzz off.” You flick your finger at him. God, just, go away already. You’ve got short and shorter futures to compare and contrast.

Herald frowns, shakes his head as he drifts a little closer to you. “Sorry, I can’t do that. Actually, uh–” He looks away from you again, scratching his neck. “You’re kind of technically trespassing now.”

“Are–are you kidding me.” You grip the edge of the lip with your hands, the metal cold to the touch. Would he actually try to catch you if you pushed off? “The Rangers really need to stoop to enforcing fucking trespassing signs?”

“If you need a lift somewhere I could carry–”

You cut him off with a hand gesture. “Absolutely not.” You grind your teeth. What do you need to say to make him go away? “You’re a hero, aren’t you wonderbread? Surely you’ve seen people brooding before.”

The spike of worry as Herald drifts even closer suggests that was maybe the wrong tact to try. “I heard you had a rough time today…?” He ventures, “I mean, from helping Lady Argent.”

“It’s n–n–none of your business.” Pinch the bridge of your nose, pushing the sunglasses back up against your eyes. “In fact, speaking of Argent,” you glare at him, “Shouldn’t you be off taking care of her? Isn’t she your girlfriend?”

That gets Herald to back off a little bit, a sudden backwash of unpleasant memories rushing back against you. “We’re on… a break right now, actually.”

“Probably because your– your priorities are so out of whack,” you snap. And yep, that one stings. He flinches and there’s a flush on his face now.

“She’s… been through a lot, and she just needs her space right now.” The way he talks sounds rehearsed, like he’s parroting what someone else told him. Not so confident now.

“I know perfectly well what’s she’s been through, thanks.”

“Was it… that bad?”

“God, Herald, that’s not my place to talk about. Try asking your partner.”

“I just want to… to understand what she’s going though?” Herald gives you a pleading look and you want to melt through the bridge and die. Is this really going to be your last conversation on earth? Playing therapist to some rich jerkward busybody with girl troubles? Really? This is how you go out? This is pathetic.

You run a hand through your hair, feel all the little knots and curls pull and snap. “You want to ‘understand?’ Then just try fucking listening for once.”

“I can’t listen if she doesn’t talk to me!” The genuine anger gets you by surprise. Herald blinks, and then his face turns beat-red. Ashamed of himself? Huh.

Maybe this is your chance. “Look, just leave me alone, okay? Go handle your own shit.”

Herald sighs, sits down next to you on the lip of the bridge. Goddamnit. “Did you and Charge go through phases like this, back in the day?”

You stare at him for a solid thirty seconds trying to process what he meant.

“Sorry, I just, I know you two had a thing and–”

“We absolutely did not!” You voice breaks and can feel your heart pounding in the back of your throat, “We worked together, that’s it.”

“Oh? I guess I got the wrong impression, I’m sorry.” Herald doesn’t met your death glare, the bastard.

You glare at him in silence and then… a morbid curiosity overtakes you. “What in the hell could–could–could have ever given you that impression?”

“Uh…” Herald balks, and suddenly there’s a dozen different thoughts running through his head and you can’t get a read on any of them. Finally he says, “Well, I mean, there had been a lot of rumors on the usenet forum back in the day?” Rumors!? “But to be honest, I never believed any of it until that first time when we were all together at Argent’s request and you and Charge walked in.” Herald shrugs, “And then I was like, ‘oh, well, that makes sense.’”

You don’t have a response to that. Don’t even know how to start parsing it.

It was so much easier not to care when you only knew these people from news reports or memories.

“So, I know you said you’re… fine – and I believe you, honest.” Herald’s lying again. “But in that case, do you mind if I just… hang out with you, watch the sunset? This isn’t a bad spot.”

You take a deep breath. In. Out. Push up your sunglasses while you rub the tears and salt out of your eyes. God. Did you smear your make-up? Are your scars visible? Shadow exposed? You can feel your heart-rate speed up again. It takes an active effort to let the thought go. Who cares? Ortega’s not here.

“Yeah, sure.” You say. “Kn–knock yourself out.”

You don’t give a damn what Herald thinks.

“Thanks.” You can feel Herald relax a little as he sits a few inches away from you. Not crowding, but close enough.

You close your eyes, sag your shoulders as you hit your head back against the metal railing lattice. “I know what you’re– what you’re doing.”

That gets a spike of alarm from him. God, his thoughts are like an open book. You hate it.

“I’m just happy to take a breather.”

“D–don’t bullshit me Herald. We’re both adults here.” You turn your head glare straight at him. “If you breath a word of this to anyone, I will find out where you live and fill your bed with thumbtacks.”

“Okay…” Herald looks away from you, uneasy. “Noted.” He fidgets, hands in his lap. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

You groan. “I can’t stop you,” you lie.

“Why ‘Sidestep’?”

“Huh?” You blink, stare down at the water far below. little waves beckoning you on down. “Oh, well… Why ‘Herald’?”

He cringes, embarrassed? Hah. “It was my management team that came up with it. Focus testing or something? I was just hap–”

“Stop.” You hold up a hand, dismiss the words with a wave. “I d–d–don’t really care that much.”

“Oh. Uh–okay.”

You sit in silence, kicking your legs up and back under the lip. Take a breath. In. Out. “I wanted people to focus on the fighting skills. That it–it was all trained or something. Reading people’s thoughts is… harder if they know you can do it. Th–throw up obstacles, walls.”

“So it was a strategic thing?”

“Well…” You allow yourself a small smile. Still not looking at Herald. “S–something like that. There… there was, uh… person I–I knew around then. Thought it w–was… too dangerous. She asked if I was g–going to to sidestep my way through every fight. So…”

“So it was… a spite thing?”

“Hah! Y–yeah. I guess.”

“How did they take it?”

You frown, trying to think back. “I… I don’t know. I can’t remember.” Did it ever come up? There was like, a year between when you started the name and Chelsea left, wasn’t here? It must have. “Wh–whatever. Spite can get you pre–pretty far in life if you use it right.”

“I don’t know about that…” Something’s buzzing just under Herald’s thoughts and you can’t quite get a read on it. Suddenly the boy’s a mystery, go figure.

You stay there for another hour or so, quietly suffering Herald’s little questions about your career, and it quickly becomes apparent he knows way more than someone who wasn’t there for any of it should. You’re not sure how to feel about that. Other then old.

When the sun starts to drown in the ocean, you reluctantly agree to let Herald give you a hand back over to the sane side of the railing. He follows with you back to the foot of the bridge, despite your repeated insistence that you were just going straight home and to buzz off already.

You go through four taxi cabs before you feel confident enough that you’ve lost Herald to actually go home.

Home.

It isn’t much, a singular combined bedroom-kitchenette and a tinier bathroom. Pretty sure the complex had been a tourist trap motel once upon a time. It’s yours though, and there’s something surreal about that. You’ve never ‘owned’ an apartment before. You keep telling yourself you’ll properly decorate one day, but it never happens.

Flip on the lights, greet the cockroach as it scurries under the cabinet “Hi Larry,” stagger over to your bed and fall over face down.

Roll over and grab a pillow, clutch it to your chest, draw your legs up into a fetal position. No more possessions ever again. If you can’t work a mental suggestion or rely on a bribe, you’ll just have to find another way. You’re not inflicting that on another person again.

You bury your head in the pillow.

If Herald hadn’t shown up then, would you be here right now?

You don’t want to think about it.

At least these days, when you don’t feel like being you, there’s a solution.

And you don’t have to worry about Jane being scarred for life; you’re the only consciousness she’s got.

–

next: [the space between the finish and the start]

#fallen hero #fallen hero: rebirth #fallen hero fanfic #fhr #fhr/Ariadne #mc #herald #tw: suicidal thoughts

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inkyencounters · 5 years

Text

Reposting Henry’s backstory from the rp

under a readmore cause it’s long and contains the following triggers:

abuse mention, abuse, manipulation, death, emotional manipulation, assault, overall joey being an abusive secret boyfriend

He felt… odd. He never actually got to… talk about this before. Not with anyone. Not with Grant, not with Sammy. And it happened after Linda’s father died… He had no one to talk about this about.

So now he found himself compelled to talk about it, but he was nervous. But, a deal’s a deal.

“… We’ve known each other since we were adolescents.” He looks away, in remembrance of simpler times. He turned away, flipping the page over and doing stick figures again. It helped him stay on track.

“I grew with not many friends, because I couldn’t really play after school or rough house with the other boys. But in college, we met in art class. He was a business major and I was an art major. Heh… He was… a real handsome guy, back then. Tall, muscular from playing football, passionate about his projects. Sure, his technical skills were awful but, I actually looked up to him for his ability to put his vision out there, and to stand behind it. We had to do a project together, and well, I had the techinical skills. He had the vision. We got an A. And we were friends since.”

“He was a good kid. He had no shame in being my friend and even fought off a few of my bullies. And with college all about being… experimental, he asked me what it was like, being gay. How men do it. If I found him attractive. With how I looked up to him, I felt I owed it to him to help him out discover things. And so… Well, it was kind of how we got together. A secret affair, of course, since society is very narrow-minded, but… He was really sweet on me, in private.”

“I… wish I could pinpoint the exact moment things started getting… bad.”

“It...”

“Went bad before we even got the studio built.”

He gave a small sigh. Back to the doodles.

“I always wondered if it was my fault, really. Maybe I inflated his ego, maybe I was just too much of a follower. He just... when we were together, he made me feel like I was worth something. After feeling like nothing. Together, I was worth something. I had use. Granted, I still had my motivations. Like making making cartoons. When we got out of college, I was planning on going over to Disney, actually. New animation field, making movies. It was ripe with opportunity. I even had the job offer to work on Snow White!”

“Joey convinced me to go into business with him. I had the perfect opportunity to. I had the money, I had the credit, I had a good standing with the banks because of my family’s privileged background. I would be stupid not to go out on my own with Bendy, he told me!”

“...I still didn’t want to. I was scared. He forced me. I should have seen the flags, Bendy. He didn’t care for my feelings. He told me it was for my own good. That I would be a nobody at Disney. That they wouldn’t ever value my work like he did. That I should trust him more than my anxieties. That if I loved him, I would do this. That he couldn’t do it with out me... And I loved him so much... The very implication that I didn’t love him stabbed through me like a pitchfork. Just like that I felt like nothing all over again.”

More stick figures. The one with the cane at a bank.

“So I did it. And he started being sweet again. I got the money from the bank and my own savings, and we started making our business! But, things only went downhill from there.”

“We could barely agree on anything. The location, the name, the cartoon... The arguments were bad, real bad. He stopped being kind, he stopped being sweet unless he got what he wanted. He was so focused on making the studio he only had time for me when it involved the studio. And, if I tried to ask, he’d shut me down. Yell at me. Tell me that I didn’t believe in him. Accuse me of never loving him. Hurt me.”

The cane-wielding stick figure was drawn again, cowering and maybe crying in the corner of a disheveled room.

“When it didn’t involve the cartoon’s writing, I’d give in. The location, the name, the idea of being a silent partner... He said that it would be for the best people didn’t know I had as much control as I supposedly had. After all. I was gay. It was a local fact by then. It’d be in the newspapers, he said. “Local faggot wants to corrupt children with cartoons!” the headlines would read!”

He gave a small sigh, slumping a tad in his seat.

“But once everything was done, things were great again! He was hugging and kissing me again behind closed doors! He stopped actively getting girls’ numbers! He was praising me again... I believed that it was my fault, that I was wrong and that’s why he was being so cruel. So I just stopped trying to resist, to do what he said without complaint. And, things were wonderful. Like a dream, really. Especially when the cartoons began rolling out.”

“Oh, the children loved you, Bendy! You were so sweet and charming and fun. You got into mischief, instead of mischief finding you like in Mickey’s case. You and Boris were beloved. Two misfits getting through thick and thin together! But then... Joey had ideas for some of the cartoons, and how to write the characters... And I gave in, because I knew I would be happy if he was happy. And he would be happy in control.”

“... But the kids weren’t. The episodes tanked. I did what I could to save them, I really did, but Boris became unlikeable and Bendy was just... sad. Nothing worked out for him. It was like kicking a puppy.”

“I kept quiet about it. Tried offering workarounds and solutions when he raved about the declining popularity. And then he had the gall to say it was my fault. I... well, it was the first and last time I snapped back.”

Was that stick figure choking the one with the cane...?

He became quiet for a long moment, taking a shaky breath to calm himself. And to rub his eyes. No crying, Henry. It was your fault it happened in the first place.

“Sometimes, I still wonder if he only felt bad because it almost killed me. Or because it almost made me leave the studio. I woke up in the hospital, and the doctor told me the damage I went through. They had to revive me. And all the therapy on my back was undone. He thought I was wrestling a friend. I didn’t tell him the truth.”

“... He said if I tried anything like that again, I would lose the ability to walk altogether.”

He gulped, remembering that day in too vivid detail. “Joey cried when I broke up with him. How he was sorry, and that he’ll change. That he overreacted. That he needed me. I had to spend that night making him feel better. I didn’t get back with him, but I agreed to stay on the studio. But I stepped away. I focused on the parts of the job that made me happy. I wanted as little reason to interact with Joey, so I just let him do everything as long as the writing stayed in my control.”

When did he start crying? He didn’t even notice until a drop landed over his doodle of the stick figure working in a corner. He stubbornly rubbed his eyes. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be crying... It was my fault after all. I let it happen.”

He offered Bendy a smile, trying to reassure him that he was fine. But that only made him look broken. “I always held on hope that he’d better himself. That he’d change. And then I found out about what he was doing to you- and then...”

He choked back a sob, and went silent. Covering his mouth with his fist and shutting his eyes tight. And for a long moment, not a peep came out of him. A few, painful gulps, sure, but no more sobs, or any sniffles. After swallowing his emotions, he looked back to Bendy, that smile back on his face. But it didn’t last long.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice it sooner. If I wasn’t so determined to not be involved, you would have never gotten hurt. And that’s my fault, I know that... I’m so sorry, Bendy.”

#Henry Stein #tw abuse #tw abuse mention #tw manipulation #tw death implied #tw death mention #tw emotional abuse #tw assault

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brokestminimalist · 6 years

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Minimal Clothes

Ah, clothes are tough. Clothes are one way that we express ourselves, and many of us are sentimentally attached to this t-shirt that we got at that concert, or maybe that hat that we were wearing on our first date. Friends, neighbors, have a seat. There is a solution!

Here at Brokest Minimalist, we like to be reasonable. That dress from your senior prom, the one you're never going to fit in again but you can't get rid of because it brings you so many fond memories? It's ok. We've been there. In fact, we're still there. We have a jersey from senior year and a dress we wore to graduation. We are thirty pounds too heavy for that dress, but sometimes we come across it in the closet and it makes us smile. And that's ok. As long as you aren't keeping everything you ever wore, you're going to be ok.

That being said, most of us could stand to throw out about half our wardrobe. We all know you don't wear everything that's in your closet. People tend to wear the same five or ten items over and over again. The ones that are comfortable, the ones that are cut just right, the ones that match easily with other items. So, the end game is to find yourself with a closet containing only those items that you wear over and over again, and donate the rest. Now, you may have your own method of culling unused clothes. If so, go ahead and hop to it. If not, here are a few methods to start out with:

Audit damages: If it's holey, if it's faded, if it's stained, toss it. Don't donate it, nobody wants your ratty old Led Zeppelin shirt with the permanent mustard stain. Put it in the trash. This one should be easy.

Audit sizes: If it doesn't fit, donate it. Don't keep your old skinny jeans just in case you lose that twenty pounds you've been meaning to lose. They haven't motivated you to do it so far, and it's more likely that anytime you come across them you just feel bad about yourself. So go through everything and if you can't wear it comfortably right now, today, then donate it to your charity of choice.

Audit colors: You know you've got that one really loud orange t-shirt that you can't bring yourself to wear, but there's nothing actually wrong with it so you can't throw it out. Yeah, it's there. We see it. Put it in your donation bag, along with anything else that's too obnoxious.

Audit fabrics: Got any stuff that’s tricky to wash, picks up too much dog hair, or unravels easily? For the sake of your sanity, toss it. Stick to sturdy cottons and polyesters, and get rid of anything that needs special treatment unless it’s an item you really, truly love.

Audit unwanted gifts: You know that Weasly sweater that great-aunt Edna got you six Christmases ago that you wore one time to make her think you liked it? Toss it. You know that headband you've got from your old work that they gave you for free at a Halloween party? The one with the company logo emblazoned right there on the forehead? Toss it.

By this point, you should be down to a much more reasonable number of items, and they should all be items that you can and are willing to wear comfortably. Everything is in your size, in good repair, and it isn't ugly/obnoxious. This has been a lot of work, so if you want to take a break at this point, go ahead. Wait a few days or weeks, even. There is no reason not to work in stages. Getting rid of things can be cathartic, but it can be stressful too. Don't use up all your spoons for today on this. Go have a snack and finish your day. This post will still be here when you get back.

♫ INTERMISSION ♫

Ok, so you're back. What we want to do from here is create a capsule wardrobe. A capsule wardrobe is a wardrobe consisting of a relatively few items, where everything matches. You can pull out any top and any pants, and put them on, and you will look put together. You can get dressed while blindfolded, and you will look put together. This wardrobe may consist of say, 6 pants, 10 tops, three pairs of shoes, a couple of sweaters, and some accessories like shoes, belts, scarves, etc.

So, step one here is to choose a base color. A neutral one, like black, navy or khaki. Not one of each, but all the same. That's what color your pants and/or skirts and shoes are going to be, with the exception of maybe one pair of jeans. (Practical minimalism, remember. You don't want to mow grass in black dress pants.) Next, pick some tops in complimentary colors. These can be different colors, but they have to pair nicely with all of the pants/skirts/shoes. Then choose accessories in corresponding colors, or in the base color.

Now, we know you're broke. So are we. Don't just run off and spend money on new clothes all willy-nilly. This can be a gradual process. As the clothes you have wear out, replace them with ones in the capsule scheme you have picked out. Eventually you will have yourself a collection of items that all work together nicely. And they don't have to be fancy pieces. For example, we currently have two pairs of black cargo pants, two pairs of black dress pants (worn to work most days) and one pair of blue jeans. We have a number of well-maintained t-shirts, mostly in blues, two t-shirts from our current work, and two polo-shirts for work. We also have two cozy hoodies for lounging around the house, and a few thermals.

The work shirts are of course reserved for work days, but otherwise any of those items can be mixed and matched. The dress pants are not so dressy that they can't be worn with our Admiral Ackbar t-shirt, for example. We have three pairs of shoes, one of which we confess are not black, which is our base color. However, we are not going to throw out a good pair of shoes just because they are not black. We are going to wear them until they are worn out, then replace them with a black pair if possible. We are too broke for that kind of crap.

Shoes deserve their own post, but let us just go ahead and plant the idea that you do not need 30 pairs of shoes.

Let us discuss underwear, instead. All of our underwear lives in a basket under our bathroom sink. It's there waiting for us when we get out of the shower. This won't work for everyone, but please do consider the idea of freeing yourself from the tyranny of the Underwear Drawer. You need enough socks and underwear to last about a week without having to do laundry. They don't have to match, as no one is going to see them but you. So if you're into fun colors or prints, have at it! Mix and match, we are not here to judge. A word on socks, though: socks should match your base color so they don't stick out loudly at your ankles when you sit or bend over. Next time you buy socks, get a couple of bulk packages of the same sock, in your base color, and throw out all your old ones. Now you'll 100% of the right color and you'll never again waste time in the morning trying to find two socks that match!

Thermal underwear count toward underwear, not toward your capsule wardrobe. You'll likely have to have a few seasonal items, that's understandable. We don't want to freeze for the sake of having a tidy closet. Please look over your seasonal items with a critical eye, though. If you live in Georgia, do you really need snow pants? Probably not. Keep what is practical, but be reasonable about it.

Accessories can be tough, but pare those down too. If you live in a climate with a real winter, you may need a scarf, a hat or two, a coat, gloves, etc. We ourselves have a few bandanas, a couple of hats, and a couple of scarves. We also have a belt, and a small collection of jewelry. Changing up your accessories is a good way to make an outfit feel fresh even if you've worn it a hundred times before. Rotate them in and out, and you'll always seem to be wearing something different. Ladies, if you have a skirt you may find yourself wanting some knee-highs. That's ok, just don't hoard 50 pairs of them.

Now, here is the best side effect of creating your minimalist wardrobe:

This is all of our clothes. Literally. Even the pants are all hanging there. They all fit in this tiny closet. There's no dresser. There's no armoire. Just this closet. It isn't even completely full. (We are OCD here at Brokest Minimalist, so we are compelled to face all our clothes to the left and our hangers with the hooks away. Too much time spent working in a commercial laundry house, we guess.) We never spend time looking for a special top to go with a particular pair of pants, because they all go. We never waffle about what to wear. We never lose anything and spend a frantic morning looking for it. We are never late for work because we lost our uniform in our floordrobe. We still feel like we have too much, but we're working on it.

Way off in the side in there we have our sentimental items hanging nicely so that we can see them from time to time and reflect. Someday, we may be strong enough to let them go. If not, that's ok. Sentimentality is a valid reason to keep something too. If you've got kids, maybe you can hand that old prom dress down to them at a time when it's coming back in style!

#wardrobe #brokestminimalist #nomorefloordrobe

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whydidireadthis · 6 years

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All-New X-Factor

In 2014, Marvel embarked on the All-New initiative, perhaps reasoning that novelty would bring and keep readers. There was, at least in some cases, an attempt to go back to the high-flying adventure at the heart of the superhero genre, with less of the soap opera angst and sophomoric antics that seemed to drag comics down more every year.

As usual in superhero comics, they looked for a name. This time, they got Peter David, who had done X-Factor work before and, in my reading experience, did a good job making his first run on the title compelling...at least, until editorial started interfering and promptly ruined it.

Peter David and the Fan Favorites

I’ll say this and get it out of the way: I don’t like Peter David that much, personally. He’s at least as much of an asshole as I am, and he’s a real internet troll, as well as petty. But I’ll also say this: pretty much 90% of all well-known popular figures in superhero comics are some brand of either “crazy” or “asshole” if they’re not just plain stupid. David is extremely overrated for having written Young Justice throughout its run, despite it not being all that good and nobody apparently being willing to read it again without nostalgia goggles glued to them.

But at least he’s not any one of the seemingly endless hordes of names overrated for outright garbage. He does decent work, even if most of the time I don’t find it that exceptional, and doesn’t seem to need a strong editorial influence to keep his work tolerable. His sense of humor can bring a quality of realism and believability to the characters and situations, which is a really good thing. Often, it’s the lack of any humor at all that makes stories seem artificial and stilted.

All-New X-Factor assembles a team of characters that are basically all “fan favorites”, often underrated or relegated to the background in larger casts, and introduces a couple of new characters as well. The team lineup is a solid one that really showed a lot of potential. And I’ll admit, starting at the next-to-last issue and then jumping back to the beginning to read through, that was potential that never really came to any fruition, which is a huge shame.

The thing is, when David joined up with the original run of X-Factor, way back in volume 1 issue #71, he also stayed for 20 issues. And similarly then as now, the stories he told were derailed by the scourge of everything: “events”.

These “events” continue to plague the superhero universes, with meaningless crossovers that accomplish nothing. Storylines are built up in individual titles, then events come along and force those storylines to stand still while the event introduces new ones...and then after the event, it’s forgotten along with everything started during it, and also everything before it. So the title inevitably is cancelled, or the creative team swapped out, because it can’t recover from the ground level it’s essentially been reduced to. It is, in a word, Sisyphean.

And that’s basically what happens here. The Axis event dominates more of the run than any single storyline, and it’s a crossover. And not a particularly good one. What is really the worst about it, though, is the fact that even though the most pressing problems are solved on-panel, much of the resolution of the story takes place between issues and is just obliquely referred to in the next issue.

This is really not an okay way to do things, unless you’re doing a flashback to deal with it for some reason. Remember, “show, don’t tell” is usually a good rule of thumb, especially with comics.

It kind of exemplifies this run, though. Nothing really amounts to anything or leads anywhere. All-New X-Factor is basically one huge plot cul-de-sac, consisting of characters that were treated like shit in previous writing, trading references to some of that bad treatment and commiserating. In that, it usually gets its best moments. That’s essentially what you can take out of it: moments, with incidental connecting plots that don’t really add up to much. You think things are going to go somewhere, but they basically stay where they are.

And it’s fine, setting and sticking to a status quo is fine, but it is also unfortunately paired with a seeming lack of exceptional quality to the writing and characterization. It’s remarkable that Peter David, who most famously wrote that twenty issues of the original X-Factor, shaking up the by-then-stale series and reacquainting us with newly-relevant characters, seems to have forgotten who these characters are, and has no real idea who the others are that he’s saddled with.

At least in his original run, he had things happen that were appreciable, like Polaris breaking her jaw and having to recover from that. There’s nothing to really work with in All-New X-Factor, because the overwhelming impression is that David doesn’t really understand most of the characters and doesn’t want to take any risks with them. Which I applaud, don’t get me wrong -- I’d rather see someone who doesn’t get the characters be more cautious, instead of throwing it to the wind and totally ruining them. But David, in most of his more ambitious turns in the title, ends up forcing some of the characters into situations that don’t really suit them and do them no favors as people.

The Team Lineup

I always thought trying to claim Polaris was related to Magneto...was stupid. It’s facile and obvious, and it does nothing to develop the character at all. But for a while, Marvel were bound and determined to not only tear down any sympathy for Magneto, but also seemingly wanted to find some replacement. Ideally with boobs, similar to their desperate need to make X-23 a thing. So not only is Polaris dealing with her adult half-siblings (which, I will tell you, is not at all how that works in real life), she’s also conveniently comic-book crazy. Meaning that she sometimes goes a little violence-happy and has to be talked down, but only when the story needs her to do so.

It amounts to basically nothing and vanishes pretty quickly. She’s supposedly the leader of the team, but functionally there really isn’t a leader. It’s more like she organizes them sometimes, and occasionally she has some advice on how to do things. She is mostly easy enough to like, and the good thing about having a character who’s been so chaotically inconsistent is that any coherent personality is an improvement. Lorna is basically the same Lorna, personality-wise, that she was in David’s first run, with a weird personality tic.

Quicksilver is basically how he’s always been: a less obviously gay, and significantly less interesting, Northstar. And yes, I know Jean-Paul was created later. It doesn’t matter; that’s how people always tend to write the both of them. Pietro’s entire character in All-New X-Factor is “mildly clashing with Gambit”. That’s it.

Doug, also known as Cypher, gets the most character-building, which is nice since Abnett and Lanning’s fairly crap tie-up for their run on the New Mutants series didn’t leave him much to work with. Of all the characters involved in the title, Doug benefits most from it and actually gets the most to do. It isn’t always good, but at least it’s not essentially rehashing old plots from the first run of New Mutants that were done far better then. It is pretty puzzling that the character still has yet to resolve significant issues with various other characters who were extremely prominent in his life before dying and coming back to life, and I just have to chalk it up to yet another missed opportunity with the potential of All-New X-Factor.

Gambit is one of my favorites, but he’s almost always written badly. Either he ends up a shitty caricature even of the outrageously exhausted trope he came from, or he’s a misremembering of the 90s X-Men cartoon, or he’s just a completely different person than he’s ever been.

Here, Remy is sort of okay, most of the time, but he does some stupid things that aren’t really suited to him, like his lame and uncharacteristic pick-up artist turn in one issue that literally never manifests again at all in the entire series. Not that he isn’t a flirt, but this was phoning it in where it counts, and really disturbing where it didn’t.

He constantly seems toned down from his usual wit and cheer, to the point where he feels almost nihilistic and embittered. There’s little distinctive about his speaking patterns, too, which makes it seem strange when compared to a character like Rogue, whom I am bringing up not because of their extremely unhealthy, often ignorantly-celebrated and stupidly-promoted past relationship, but because she speaks like she just fell off the turnip truck and Gambit barely shows any signs in accent or in syntax of being from the deep Louisiana bayou.

There’s also an on-again, off-again narration from him...at least, that’s what I managed to figure out, because it’s not really made clear and seems extremely questionable at several points. It only appears in a handful of issues, and it never adds anything to the story. It’s almost ironic, really, because if Remy’s focused on as a narrator, you’d think he’d get more of a personal examination and development.

Nope! He gets one issue that really doesn’t focus on him at all.

Danger is a character I’ve always thought was idiotic, but she ends up kind of amusing, mainly for occupying the “fish out of water” role in the group and because of other people’s reactions to her. She’s still a pretty stupid character, and her introduction in the series does her no favors, but she is one of the few to show any real development over the course of the series. Essentially though, she’s one of the series’ deus ex machina characters, because none of the stories really seem to be committed to any sort of resolution. It’s almost ironic, since the team is filled with extremely powerful, highly capable characters, but only a couple ever distinguish themselves in resolving a problem.

Harrison Snow, the head of Serval Industries, basically occupies the other deus ex machina slot in the title. He’s not interesting or likeable, or sympathetic or compelling in any way, and what little development he’s given -- which links him to the godawful 2099 stuff -- is too late and not anything anyone cares about.

Seriously, stop trying to make 2099 happen.

At Least They’re Committed

Remember how I said there was a lack of commitment? It’s the same with the tone of the whole series. There’s no real reason they should be affiliated with this corporation, but they are for some reason anyway. There’s opportunity for scathing satire of the corporate world, but it never really shows up, outside of a couple of throwaway lines. X-Factor being, for some reason, a corporate-sponsored team never factors into the series all that much.

And it starts to get frustrating after a while, especially given that David’s original run actually committed to something. At that time, X-Factor had become a government-sponsored team, and examining the relationship between the US government and the rest of the Marvel Universe was a pretty large part of the team’s arc. Here, the only compare and contrast we get is to the Avengers, which barely factor into anything.

That brings me to Alex, Havok, who is in the series for the first few issues and then vanishes, never to return. He’s now a member of the Avengers (and if you don’t know why, you’re one step ahead of the writers; AvX was the absolute bottom of the barrel, even for an “event”) and decided to get Pietro to join the team in order to keep him informed on Polaris. I wish I could say this went anywhere, or played with any development to make it seem creepy, or sad, or just plain obnoxious, but it doesn’t. Alex is written like Scott, when Scott’s written his worst: a bland yuppie who reminds you of that person you know’s forgettably boring dad.

Alex and Lorna had a long-running relationship that ended at one point and never really rekindled, and that was even further sidetracked by Marvel’s insistent retcons of Magneto and his family, with further ruin thanks to -- let’s all say it together now! -- events. Here, David could have introduced a tension between Alex and Lorna again and had the two advance...but they never really address it or even really talk directly. And when Alex is done with eavesdropping, Pietro decides not to return to the Avengers, and Alex disappears from All-New X-Factor.

When another Avenger shows up, it’s Wanda, of course, since there’s a half-assed need to address Lorna’s sudden investment in her just-as-sudden half-siblings. But trying to make a joke out of something so serious as to be unforgivable is a poor choice, and it’s one of many that David makes during the run. Wanda is, by this point, an irredeemably terrible character and a bad person, someone who would greatly benefit the world by not being in it. If the point hadn’t been brought up, it could have been forgotten...and for the betterment of the narrative. But as it was brought up, it can’t really be ignored. It doesn’t help that, throughout her appearance, Wanda is pretty hard to like, when she’s not being noncommittally boring.

But this brings us to our last members of the team, and they’re two I can’t really address without bringing up the story further.

Warlock is a familiar face to anyone who knows the New Mutants, especially Doug. He’s kind of fun to have around, but it’s a real disappointment having the once-potent Magus turned into...yet another corporation. But as with Serval Industries, there’s no real commentary or satire to this decision. It’s just there, as if the absurdity of it, in and of itself, is supposed to be funny or clever somehow.

Spoiler alert: it’s not.

The story does do some interesting and even fun things, though, and it’s nice to see Warlock, especially with Doug around for him to play off of, as the two are perfect together.

But this also dovetails nicely into one of my most significant problems with All-New X-Factor, which is the fact that David manages to fuck up Doug, Warlock, and Danger all at once. He does this by a probably accidental or incidental storytelling bias, but so much of the series revolves around it: I’ve heard it called, and accurately, “straight people baby daddy problems”. That’s it in a nutshell.

Straight People Baby Daddy Problems

Danger trying to score makes up a level half of the series, and it’s amusing for a small amount of that time. Some of the reactions she gets are genuinely funny, and her fixation on sex does bring up some questions that most comics would never, ever even think of presenting. It also makes her much more likeable as a character, and it humanizes her to an extent, enabling the audience to sympathize with her more effectively. I don’t have a problem with this direction for Danger, especially since she’s basically just the emotionless big gun. She needed something, anything, to make her more compelling, and having her be curious about sexual relations does add an interesting queer dynamic to the whole thing, which I like.

But I’m not sure that was intentional. I’m not sure it was meant to be more than a throwaway joke that just kept coming up when David couldn’t think of anything else to punctuate a scene; sometimes it would work, sometimes it would just make me wonder if this was an attempt at a running gag that didn’t always fit.

The thing that made it not work was that Warlock and Doug were put at odds with each other because Danger approached Doug for sex, after Warlock and basically the entire rest of the team turned her down. It kind of feels creepy (but that’s not new territory in the series up to this point), but the part that doesn’t work is that David has Warlock coming off as jealous. Of Doug.

Maybe I’m not reading it the way it was intended, but if anyone in this situation, Warlock should be jealous of Danger. Warlock and Doug are not just friends, by any definition of the word. They have communed the very essences of their beings, basically mingled their souls, as well as their physical forms. Maybe David planned for the real target of jealousy to unfold, but he was aware that he had a certain number of issues left and kept writing as if he had unlimited time and space to address these things. After so much that amounted to nothing, why bring up something that is exactly the opposite of how these characters would act in that situation, then do nothing with it?

Even in this run, though, Warlock is very attached to Doug. For that to come out of nowhere makes it seem even more questionable. If that’s not what David intended and it was in fact supposed to be Warlock jealous of Danger and protective of Doug...he definitely didn’t present it very well.

I mean, it wasn’t well done by any means, but if he was aiming for that, he definitely missed and botched the shot.

But Doug constantly gets abuse heaped on him, and I really don’t like that. It was lazy, half-assed writing when it happened in New Mutants, and it’s lazy, half-assed writing here. At the very least, David has more respect for Doug than Abnett or Lanning seemed to (and certainly more than the patchwork of writers from New Mutants v1, least of all Louise Simonson), but at the same time, he’s only rarely allowed to be funny, strong, or compelling, much less actually do anything. He’s an immensely powerful character, as are all the members of the team, but they almost always end up playing second fiddle to Danger and Snow.

The last member of the team is Georgia, whose storyline is just...

Okay, I’ll be honest, I hated her. She was an annoying kid character who was fickle as anything and frankly came off as an obnoxious little twat. I didn’t care about her stupid story, her background of abusive, violent bigots, unlikely magic business, or her inane powers. She’s irritating all the time, she runs hot and cold and is utterly impossible to depend on, and there was no reason at all for them to basically make her part of the team instead of sending her to the X-school so she could actually learn to use her powers rather than being a danger to everyone around her.

She basically served no useful purpose and constantly derailed the stories to revolve around her, making her come off a lot like a Mary Sue type of character, a la Kitty Pryde, who is the Marvel Universe’s most painful Mary Sue. Once upon a time, Kitty was interesting and even sympathetic. That was a long time ago.

I suppose the thing that I disliked the most about having Georgia around was that when Luna finally showed up, she ended up basically pushed to the background in favor of Georgia. But if Luna had occupied that position instead of Georgia, then Pietro could have actually, you know, had some development during the series. Imagine the dynamic evolving between Pietro and Luna. The two haven’t had much opportunity to be together. I always thought Pietro and Crystal was a stupid relationship, and even worse that they were married and popped out a kid, but marriage was the big thing in comics at the time, and they often did that with characters they couldn’t think to do much else with.

(Not that they’ve changed much; nowadays, it’s just a method of killing characters off without really killing them off. They tried for years with Northstar, and then decided, hey, gay marriage is hot right now -- that’ll get him out of our hair. Subsequently, they had Iceman realize he himself was gay, but Jean-Paul had been shuffled off into the dead hell of comic-book marriage by then, essentially making useless the one “will they or won’t they?” storyline that gave both Bobby and Jean-Paul any meaning whatsoever in the past twenty-something years.)

Anyway, we’re stuck with Luna and Pietro has to live with his previous mistakes, which he does end up admitting. And I’ll admit myself, I have no idea what he’s talking about because my knowledge of and interest in Marvel from 2000 to now is minimal. It is nice to see him have to own up to his actions, though, and it is really great that he gets to connect with Luna again. But wouldn’t this have been even more meaningful if she had occupied the role of “clever young character learning about herself, her parent(s), and the world”? It would’ve required far less building of an ultimately useless character who basically tended to just shove the characters we know and actually like to the background or into some kind of fucked-up abuse. The elements were there, freely available, for David to use and create a close-knit, intimate group of characters who could develop richly between their party dynamic.

He just...missed it by that much.

Every time.

Dangling Threads

The Gambit story, close to the start of the run, brings up parts of Gambit’s backstory. Basically, the stupidest parts of his backstory, like the Thieves Guild and this floating island they somehow have now. And the aforementioned Danger, who behaves horribly during the story, which really should have added more pathos so that we could sympathize with her ordeal.

But it seemed to treat the people on the island as if they were nothing to be worried about, that it was okay that they were put in mortal danger by, uh, Danger. Everything was somehow resolved by one of the most awkward and frankly ludicrous non-resolutions ever, and it raised far more questions than it answered. And I mean, this is ludicrous even for a superhero comic. I could have got behind it even then, if it had been funny or witty or engaging, but...it really wasn’t.

Harrison Snow's 2099 shit doesn’t even show up until basically the last issue, but we’re treated to an ongoing saga of infidelity with his wife, which involves his secretary and then, later, Gambit. It’s very forced and awkward, but what makes it worse is that even after Remy is made aware of what happened and who she is -- which she was not honest about -- Snow abandons Gambit on a mission and he’s horribly abused and put in danger of his life. Which isn’t funny or amusing, and it’s nothing that anyone would just shrug off.

But that’s exactly what happens in the next issue, with a non-resolution to the subplot that addresses exactly none of the real concerns the characters, especially Gambit, should have. Especially given that he was shown to have concerns about even belonging on any team, least of all this one, in the issues up to then. He showed indications, and rightly, of being ready to leave the team over the debacle...and he should have, with an utter lack of any real dealing with the problem. Instead, he just apparently takes Snow at his casual handwave towards the whole situation. Sloppy writing.

The same can be said for Snow’s own subplot with his secretary and wife. The secretary basically drops out of the story early on, and the wife only pops up to be a hostage later. She’s kind of amusing for what of the story she factors into, but it feels like plot elements that were built up as being major are just dropped unceremoniously. Which is kind of a trend for this title.

But I said I didn’t hate the run, and I don’t. There are problems with it, but it’s not unenjoyable to read. It’s actually one of the more fun series that Marvel’s put out in a long time. It wasn’t perfect, or even close, but it at least didn’t nosedive into angst so deep that only teenagers wallowing in their own self-importance could tolerate it...like most X-titles unfortunately do. It tried to be more of an adventure title with interpersonal things, and that was why it was more enjoyable than not. It’s just too bad that David tended to revolve it around the “straight people baby daddy issues” and not anything more interesting or novel.

Gambit, especially, deserved better. He’s a well-loved character, even if he oddly sees comparatively little fanwork and merchandise. It’s unfortunate that most writers (and a good number of fans, for that matter) just don’t get him or what he’s about, tending to boil him down to just some “bad boy womanizer” type, which he really isn’t except superficially; he has a facade that he’s employed for so long that it’s second nature, but it’s all part of being a master thief. He’s not a simple character, which is probably why superhero comics tend to fail him; they simply don’t have the time, and often don’t have creators that care, to understand who he’s supposed to be.

There was even a bit of acknowledging the fact that Gambit is attractive, and he got to show a lot of skin, even appearing almost naked on a cover...at first. This vanished as the series went on. Even that would have been a refreshing change from most teams’ way of dealing with the character, who in All-New X-Factor became less and less prominent, and less and less relevant. We couldn’t even have eye candy Gambit, and we ended up with Remy in one of his dullest stretches, though mostly inoffensive.

It’s just disappointing that so often, the best and most meaningful traits of the character are overlooked or forgotten. Marjorie Liu’s run on X-23 -- my general dislike of the title character aside -- actually addressed a lot of things that most writers never touch upon or even notice. For example, some of the coded queer tones that come up repeatedly with Gambit and the fact that he’s a mature adult that often functions best when he occupies the role of an “older brother” type. Liu usually at least tried to write Remy believably and realistically, and that character was an interesting person with real feelings that were not easily pinned down.

I will say this, though: for all my disappointment in David’s portrayal of Gambit, he at least managed to avoid having Rogue make a guest appearance. It seems like a token inclusion anytime Gambit is anywhere, largely due to people bowdlerizing the characters and overblowing their relationship, and it always invariably makes Remy into barely an arm-warmer for Rogue. Everything about Gambit is cheapened by attaching him to Rogue so casually and easily, and every bit of development between the two is made even more puerile and obviously dysfunctional, rather than allowing the two to grow as people separately, accepting that they can one day possibly be friends, but they don’t really work together romantically.

If they ever did, if that all wasn’t just a convenient excuse for Remy’s well-hidden thoughts and feelings...but we won’t get into that here. That’s a discussion for another day.

Quicksilver came off well enough, mainly because there was so little done with him that what was done seemed even better. Doug saw some much-needed character improvement and building, though he didn’t get what he really deserved out of the run.

The rest was a mixed bag, mostly not much going on with them. Polaris seemed to stabilize remarkably fast, and that’s certainly a good thing for her. But there’s a plethora of issues waiting for her to address that might have been brought up, which were never really dealt with.

To the Future

I can only hope that whoever takes over the writing for any of these characters, they give it a little bit more thought than Peter David did when writing All-New X-Factor. I do hope that they keep the lighter tone, but even comedies have stakes. The tone in this series was insistently light despite the things that happened, and it wasn’t something that was really appropriate at all times, like dealing with Scarlet Witch.

Things don’t have to be relentlessly dark or oppressive in order to deal with serious problems, but you do have to actually deal with the problems, or else it can get as frustrating and feel as meaningless as a lot of this series did. David’s original run on X-Factor made its cast, who had largely been sidelined and neglected, feel new and interesting again, as well as realistically a group of friends. This run tries to recapture the same magic, but it falls short because of a lack of commitment all around. In some parts it’s overambitious, with its new characters it never develops or makes likeable or at least interesting. In others, it’s lazy and clumsy and fails to invest the effort it needs to realize and complete any of its concepts.

It is a pretty interesting series to read through, though. Would I recommend it? Sure! It isn’t a waste of time, and there are moments that made me laugh out loud, which is really not something most comics make me do anymore. At least, not intentionally. Straight people baby daddy problems notwithstanding, there’s some fun adventure to be had and a little character development that, thankfully, isn’t glacier movement that ruins the characters irreparably.

It just occasionally dents them and writes checks it can’t, or isn’t willing to, cash.

The art is splendid when it’s Carmine di Giandomenico, who did most of the interiors. He has a gorgeous style, and I love the very physical, tangible feel of the forms of the characters. In motion, they are graceful and spectacular, and there’s an obvious great knowledge and appreciation of anatomy. It’s especially nice to see that now, in comics, we have men that actually have genitals. And yes, this is an important thing in art and storytelling. It’s weird when men have smooth crotches that look like they’re made out of flat plastic.

Pop Mhan’s couple of issues are perfectly fine, but after getting used to Giandomenico, it seems almost jarring to have this different, perhaps more conventional, style presented, and it doesn’t quite feel suited to the story or the characters. The two issues Mhan does are two of the weakest, though, so that also doesn’t do the artist any favors.

Giandomenico’s bodies are really pleasing, and everything looks...right. There is also no shortage of amazing, luscious ass in the series, mostly Gambit’s, and it’s great to see for once. Pietro, at times, seems too bony, but he’s strangely not given much opportunity to show off at all; he’s either in costume or in casual clothes, rarely anywhere in-between.

My only complaint comes from Giandomenico’s portrayal of Remy, and while I do like seeing so much of him -- at least at first in the series -- the inveterate Gambit reader in me has to point out that Remy has body hair. Giandomenico only ever seems to put hair on Jean-Luc, which is cool, but Remy has always had it. It stands out especially when Kris Anka’s cover art has Remy with the hair, but the interiors don’t have it. Remy doesn’t depillate, he just trims.

I really wish I liked Anka’s work on the covers more, but it’s kind of uneven throughout. Sometimes I like what he does, sometimes I don’t care for it. I don’t hate his work, and I think he’s very expressive in his style and brings a lot of fun to the subjects. There’s life and liveliness and energy in what he does, which is what superheroes really need. He also doesn’t hesitate to “sexy up” male characters, which is nice. The cover to issue #3 is wonderful and adorable and everything it should be, whereas the cover to issue #9, naked Remy and all, just isn’t right. He’s too bulky, and the composition is uneven and strange.

I do appreciate Anka getting the full frontal sketch out there, though. Bravo! We need less body shame in general. This wave of puritanical bullshit is...well, bullshit. Honestly, maybe if All-New X-Factor had been a mature title and thrown some more adult dealing with things it brought up and danced around, it might have been better. Although the more adult-oriented Marvel titles tend to be up their own asses and filled with enough grimdark edgelord shit to make a high schooler tell them in embarrassment to take it down a few notches, David might have thrived in an environment where he could cut loose a bit more.

As it is, All-New X-Factor is something that is better than it probably deserved to be, but not as good as it could have, and should have, been. It’s something worth reading through at least once, but it may not hold up to repeated read-throughs. If you’re a big fan of any of the characters, at least give it a chance; they each have some moments to be in the spotlight, although not all of those are going to be good or necessarily even in-character for them. It’s just nice to see them, which unfortunately all of the team’s members suffer from not having happen enough.

But whoever was responsible for that Longshot redesign needs to be slapped. Whatever the shit garbage that was supposed to be...brush it under the rug with the rest of Axis and forget about it.

#x-factor #all-new x-factor #comic review #writing critique

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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November 5th-11th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from November 5th, 2018 to November 11th, 2018. The chat focused on Cloverlines by Wednesday Ash, asteRiesling, Nachocobana, and Nadikusmo.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Cloverlines by Wednesday Ash, asteRiesling, Nachocobana, and Nadikusmo~! (https://tapas.io/series/Cloverlines)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until November 11th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. What do you think happened between Damon and Karen that caused such a rift in their relationship? Will Karen sign the divorce papers or is she going to continue to cling to Damon? How will this affect Damon’s future?

QUESTION 4. Several characters mentioned that Aimi is a “failed idol.” What do you think happened that caused Aimi to fail as an idol? Do you think this will have consequences for Aimi and/or the band at some point?

Ash

Hey guys, I'm looking forward to reading all your thoughts about Cloverlines

snuffysam

1. Aimi pulling the strings to get Yuuki into the band was my favorite. Just how she goes from being some spoiled brat who uses her charms (aka the PHEROMONES she puts on for her live performances!!!) to get free meals to being surprisingly sweet towards Yuuki.

2. Commenter "TrAsh" said it best - Damon truly is "daddy material". In all seriousness, it was hard to pick between him and Aimi, just due to how much I love Aimi's surprisingly brilliant trickster personality but... I just feel so bad for Damon, I want to give him a hug

3. Have you met Karen? Hmm... I suppose it could be some major argument, or Damon wanting to focus more on the band, but it may just be that they grew further apart as people...

4. (has anyone besides Monica actually said this? i don't recall) Anyway, I think Aimi failed as an idol because she sabotages every piece of equipment in sight if she doesn't like some aspect of the performance/recording session (the songs, the people she's working with, etc). Was she justified in ruining a bunch of careers (including her own) like that? Well... idol industries in the real world are pretty exploitative, so probably.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. Do you think Yuuki will adjust to his new life on Earth and the band in general? Will his addition to the band be good in the long run, or will Yuuki continue to cause problems in his own way? Also, do you think Yuuki will become homesick?

ShaRose49

I read the first two chapter so far lol. I thought Aimi was the cutest thing

I doubt Yūko will become homesick cause earth is the best

Yūko

AAHG, YUKII DANGIT

Oh wait is it yuuki? Sonuva...

RebelVampire

its okay names are hard. i look them up a lot to make sure im spelling them right XD

ShaRose49

Haha yeah but it was also dang AUTO CORRECT lol

Japanese names are hard but here so cool I have a few in my comic. Is this comic cloverlines what you would describe as a sci-fi comedy or rom-com?

snuffysam

there's not really much romance in comic

there's a divorce, does that count?

ShaRose49

Nope! That’s just drama

And no worries I don’t mind romance unless it’s super sassy or steamy and non-stop

I looooooooove scifi

BTW snuffy I think I recognize your name from Comic Fury hi!!

snuffysam

hi! yes, I recognize you too!

ShaRose49

Awesome which comic did you do again? (Or are you a reader whups)

snuffysam

that's something we should probably talk about in #general ha ha

ShaRose49

Oh yeah okay tell me there!

snuffysam

i think yuuki has already adjusted pretty well to the band. though aimi might be a bit of a bad influence, given that he wasn't exactly nice to monica...

ShaRose49

I love the art in Cloverlines it was so cute. Maybe this is random but the face she made when she said she spent all her money on delicious meat was to die for SO CUTE

I’ll take a peek at another chapter before I fall asleep lol

snuffysam

how far have you gotten so far? just the first two chapters?

ShaRose49

Just read the third

Man they beat the crap outta poor yuuki

I love that it’s set in Tokyo and starts at kind of a rock-bottom thing. Nowhere to go but up!!

snuffysam

you say that, but they seem to have trouble with that regard

constantly getting negative press

ShaRose49

Who? I don’t follow but maybe it’s cause I’m tired it’s late where I am

snuffysam

the band

brought in a new guy who played super weird

then played a near-blasphemous song on live tv

ShaRose49

Oh yeah. They were just about to bring him in probably where I left off

snuffysam

oh, I thought you said you read through chapter 3?

ShaRose49

Blasphemous?!

Yeah I did...hang on lemme check

The third chapter just has those two band guys arguing over a solo career and then they find Yuuki getting beat up outside

snuffysam

ah i see what you're saying. you're talking about the third update on line

ShaRose49

Yup.

Webtoons

I forgot it’s on other places too

Why was the song blasphemous was it really inappropriate or something?

snuffysam

well, that's a bit spoilers for the real third chapter, ha ha

which is two chapters away from where you are

ShaRose49

Well I don’t wanna read something super dirty or anything not my style

snuffysam

oh no, it's not dirty

religious blasphemy

ShaRose49

?! Like they make fun of a religion?

RebelVampire

fictional religious blasphemy

snuffysam

ShaRose49

Aww-has-has okay gotcha

That’s probably not so bad then

snuffysam

not for us it isn't

for the fictional people it's a bit of an issue ha ha

ShaRose49

🤭yeah poor them lol. It’s nice to have things that don’t exist IRL sometimes so that nobody’s bothered . I’m usually a sucker for real stuff though along with cartoony tropes

Anywho I gotta get to bed, thanks for chatting I will return!

snuffysam

yeah me too, talk to you later!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Cloverlines has suffered several changes in band line-ups. Do you think Aussie might try to return to the band? Alternatively, how might his solo career affect the group? What about Monica? Will she manage to stick with the band despite tension?

Ash

would like to chime in for a bit above: having it be a fictional religion allows for less baggage when depicting its effects i feel, cause I wanna show what are the effects of it, without any risk of offending reasonable people otherwise

it's good to have an objective view on something inherently subjective, and fictionalizing the aesthetic elements allows a way for that

ShaRose49

Yeah for sure, things are safer with fictional concepts but I think real ones can be good to depends I guess. It’s super fun to make up stuff though

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Despite the band focus, the world in the story keeps turning. How might the recent terrorist events affect Cloverlines or other bands? Who do you think Mirai was? What others aspects of the world caught your attention?

RebelVampire

okay time to answer some questions. 1) My favorite scene so far is the one where Damon and Karen have dinner. I really liked all the subtle and not so subtle ways it showcased the state of their relationship. this is not to mention that i liked it wasnt even technically about their relationship, it was about Rinne. the fact it became about their relationship felt both very realistic and very revealing. 2) Damon. I think he has the most compelling of the conflicts and hes the most sensible of the group. He provides an essential grounding influence in the fact of everyone else being a bit more exaggerated, and if anyone is gonna make the band succeed, its damon. also, he has great hair. 3) I assume what happened is exactly what we saw at dinner: they have a personality clAsh. In the end though, I'm gonna theorize that Karen probably pushed Damon a bit too hard..maybe to succeed in music, and Damon just bailed because it wasn't the way he wanted to do it. overall, though, i think the route of their problems stems from the fact that damon is ambitious and laid back while karen is ambitious and aggressive. i think karen will sign the divorce papers eventually. but she's definitely going to cling for a while. however, i think shell slowly ease off as stuff with rinne starts to happen and changes some of the dynamic of the story. 4) Have you met Aimi? XD That is what happened. Aimi is 1000% not the type to follow orders and will do whatever she wants. Thus, this would make her a poor idol since shed be told constantly where to go and what to wear for her image. Damon is a saint for not having fired her. XD Overall, though, the fact she might be a "failed idol" is irrelevant i think. at the end what will have consequences is aimi continuing to do as aimi do.

5) Yuuki seems pretty well-adjusted as is, so he'll probably be fine. I do think there's gonna be more issues with Yuuki as part of the band though. Cause they basically hired him out of desperation and of the two gigs weve seen, we got weird guitar sound one and blasphemy one. so i think as a whole we havent gotten to see a good demonstration of whether yuuki is good or not. so it might take a while for him to fit in with the band. but to be fair, id say this about most of the members. they really need to work on their synergy as a band imo XD. i think yuuki will only become homesick if his fleet comes near enough he could viably go home. cause then its a tangible goal versus some theoretical could do it thing. 6) Idk if will, but I do think it'd be interesting to see Aussie go "i want to come back." Create some drama where the group has to pick between Aussie and Yuuki and test the limits. Solo career wise I think it might actually help the group. If Aussie is successful and is like "i was in that band" others might take more of an interest. As far as Monica goes, she'll probably stick around. I think the worst of the tension already came and went. 7) I assume the terrorist attacks will keep up and they will inadvertantly expose Rinne and cause all the scandal. Though given the comic's tone I can't really forsee any serious consequences. As for Mirai, IDK. Good question. I assume it was a real person who did something significant which is somewhat interesting to consider. For the world in general I'm really curious about how spread out the population is. Cause the galaxy is a big place. And the astronomy nerd in me wonders what the travel technology is like.

ShaRose49

I didn’t get to the terrorists yet I can’t wait!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. Rinne, a robot, has a strange vision and keeps asking if Monica is Mirai. What do you think is happening to Rinne? Is Karen right to be worried about Rinne’s sentience? What is Rinne supposed to “create?”

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Do you think Cloverlines will manage to succeed as a band in general? What do you think has to happen for that to be the case? Alternatively, what other hiccups might they face as they aim for stardom?

snuffysam

step 1: fire aimi

question. does it say anywhere that this civilization spans the whole galaxy? or just the solar system? because the furthest from Earth I remember being mentioned is Pluto

RebelVampire

i think its somewhat implied

because in the opening earth is described as the entertainment of the galaxy

not to mention theres aliens

snuffysam

ah yes

RebelVampire

and last i checked there are not aliens in the rest of the solar system

snuffysam

it's been a while

since i've checked, that is

RebelVampire

but tbf how much of the galaxy is colonized is up for debate. i think its at least implied it goes beyond the solar system tho

so it might not be the whole galaxy. cause i mean galaxies are pretty huge

snuffysam

the nearest habitable planets we've found so far are like 30 light years away? and the milky way is over 100k light years across

anyway my guess is that Mirai is just some robot's rights revolutionary dude, and any surviving sentient robots seem to treat them like some sort of deity. don't think Monica is Mirai though. Rinne just gets confused easily.

also what does Rinne create? sick beats! next question!

RebelVampire

omg XD sick beats is a good answer

cause that does seem the direction its gonna go

Ash

well be exploring the larger space in coming eps

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

snuffysam

i want to see them do more shows! yuuki doesn't have all that much experience under his belt and... honestly, I just want to see a performance where he isn't playing a song ten seconds after finding out about it

RebelVampire

i second that. id also like to see him do a show that isnt buried up to its knees in controversy

RebelVampire

8) I definitely don't think Monica is Mirai. I'm starting to think Mirai is an artifical intelligence maybe. Or was a person who made artificial intelligence which is kind of a big deal. but this is what's happening to rinne. she's tapping into some sort of programming that expresses mirai's ultimate desires for her creations. that being said, i do think karen is right to be concenred. not because rinne is dangerous, but because shes right. if its illegal, their band is gonna be screwed if they get discovered. 9) i somewhat agree with the joke answer that they gotta do something about aimi. i feel they wont succeed as long as they continue to tolerate her impulsive willfulness. not to say theyll have no success, but theres a diff levels of success and theyll never become top tier if her shenanigans continue to bury them in controversy. 10) as i said before, i really would like to see more concerts with the band in general. cause i think its an important experience for them to bond as a band and as characters. i also look forward to karen moving past damon because i think itll be interesting to see how she finally matures enough to reach the conclusion.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Cloverlines this week! Please also give a special thank you to Wednesday Ash, asteRiesling, Nachocobana, and Nadikusmo for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Cloverlines, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below! Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/Cloverlines Cloverlines’ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wednesdayAsh

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