#that i Cant Bring Myself To | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

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I've always wondered if you happened to have a discord? If not have you ever considered making one?

i do have one! however i use it very sparingly because 1) new people (especially groups) scare me & 2) brain's been fucking weird for a hot minute and i barely talk to people i'm already friends with let alone strangers

#so i say this So Neutrally and Impersonally #please don't ask me to join your group chat lmao #i promise you i will appear Once and then ill never open it again bc ill get nervous and awkward and guilty #its too much stress!#Also dont ask to chat there same rules apply Sorry Sorry #like... the Only exception is if we've already been chatting but that very rarely happens bc #again! my brain's fucked and i have the mental constitution of a wet cat!#rambles from the bog #i havent opened discord in. a while #when life gets stressful enough i just Shut Down and huddle into a proverbial corner with a blanket over my head #there are like. two people on discord i have / want to actively talk to #and one of em is an irl friend ahaha #so if you were thinking of sending me an invite or something: Thank You For Thinking Of Me! Please Don't.#i think... i think this generally extends to dms too #abrupt dms frighten me. so do random @s. apologies im a Very nervous person <3 #and then even when i Do chat over dms or somethin with someone i can see myself befriending #i often forget to reply for a while and then it gets to the point where its been so long and i feel so guilty #that i Cant Bring Myself To #sigh. anyway. long story short Yes i have a discord

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panicatthetwentyonechemicalboys · 9 days

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OMFG THIS COMMENT. GUISE. THAT LAST SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING RAW

edit: i see a lot of people arguing over the 'eat the rich' thing and i'd like to clear up my standing currently! i know they aren't the same kind of fancy multi-million corporation that our beloved phrase talks about, and the reason i agree to a point with this comment is that watcher is evidently trying to become that. they're doing some shitty things in regards do disregarding poorer fans, and are seemingly blatantly ignoring the economic crisis by saying 'everyone can afford that!', all in direct contrast to their entire branding of being leftist and openly supporting things like eat the rich.

"You said 'eat the rich' then handed us the forks, laid on the plate, and expected us to spare you?" at least from my understanding isn't flat-out saying watcher are now the rich we eat, but are well on the track to becoming so, and are quickly developing the same ego.

BUT!! don't like people directly hating on steven like that!! they're all grown men who can make their own decisions, and pretending like shane and ryan are out little baby beans and then calling steven evil and whatnot isn't okay. they can all be held equally accountable. though i do somewhat understand being the most disappointed in shane, as he's the one who speaks on shit like eating the rich the most, and is generally more outward with his ideals, so it's perfectly reasonable to feel betrayed more deeply. but bottom line is they're all equally accountable for this decision.

some shit we can't take back. i probably got pissed and said some weird/uncool shit initially because of the intense emotions i was dealing with, which other people amplified. i do regret some of the things i've said to a point when it comes to being hateful, but i can't just un-say it all, so i'm not even going to try. i'm going to leave everything be and allow it to serve as something to look back on for what not to do in future circumstances. while this new path for watcher is, in my opinion, not the smartest and generally really shitty, they're human beings who make mistakes, and they deserve our acknowledgement of that.

in short, i don't like it but i'll stop being a bitch about it because they don't deserve that. also sorry for the wall of (probably incoherent lmao) text i got passionate <3

edit 2: guys. im screaming. the apology was amazing imo and i genuinely think they really mean it, like it doesn't seem bullshitted. i think they realized they fucked up for reals and feel bad. im so happy for them, but also for us as fans. yay :D

#watcher #watcher entertainment #we are watcher #shane and ryan #ryan bergara #ghoul boys #shane madej #i cant even bring myself to type 'all hail the watcher' as a tag anymore #sighhh

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obsob · 4 months

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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!

#mine #cats #i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway #ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things #me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun #i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph #like we dont need to be doing all that #as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice #anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is #whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling #have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3 #its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK #there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong #i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3 #ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason #still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies #anyway. i am going 2 bed

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melonnmiru · 7 months

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being a professional volleyball player had gotten kiyoomi an onslaught of— albeit, somewhat unhinged, fans.

he'd never say he hated his fans. in fact, he appreciated their constant support for his growth as both a person and a way too attractive volleyball player. however, the way some of them would show their support was rather... unique for his standards.

the two of you were sprawled out on the couch, you mindlessly scrolling through tiktok, and him ultimately deciding to do the same. this was one of the few times he ever even went on the damn app and the first thing he's greeted with is an edit of him from his most recent game. he somehow felt inclined to open the comments but a part of him knew his scowl would only deepen if he did.

you leaned over and tried to smooth out the crease in between his brows with a hum. "you gotta give them credit, 'omi. you look really hot there."

"it's a 15 second video of me drinking water."

"still hot."

he rolled his eyes, switching his phone off and leaning on your shoulder. you went back to running through his hair with one hand, and scrolling on tiktok with the other.

while kiyoomi was mainly focused on how nice it felt to have your fingers gently carding through his hair, he was also listening along to the random audios that played each time you scrolled onto another video. eventually, a song oddly familiar to kiyoomi started up on your phone.

wait.

kiyoomi paused, turning to look up at you in a comically slow manner with a grimace painted on his face. you bit back a laugh at his sour expression, batting your eyelashes back at him. "what's wrong, my sweetheart, honeybunch, sugarplum, light of my life?"

"ignoring those disgusting pet names— is that the same edit i just saw?"

the familiar song played faintly as you offered him an innocent grin. you glanced at your phone then back at him, quickly swiping up. "edit? don't know what you're talking about."

alas, the algorithm knew you a bit too well. maybe it was coming after you with the fact yet another kiyoomi edit popped up after you swiped. the two of you stared at the screen silently, your thumb sliding over to press another button.

"...what a coincidence, huh 'om-"

"did you just favorite it?"

you didn't respond. he shifted closer to grab your phone, you leaned away. this ultimately led to you and kiyoomi wrestling for your phone. as you two were tugging at your phone, it slid to unsurprisingly, another kiyoomi edit.

"i'm gatekeeping these, get off!"

"they're literally edits of me!"

eventually, he decided to dig his fingers in your sides, causing you to break into what sounded like a mixture of a scream and manic laughter. he smiled triumphantly, using his free hand to grab your phone from your— now weak grasp and going straight to your favorites.

he scrolled through the random collection of cooking tutorials he knows you won't do, cat videos you've shown him multiple times, and of course, edits of him. from clips of him from interviews to his monstrous spikes, you had it all.

"this is— an invasion of privacy!" you whined, trying to get your phone back to no avail. kiyoomi looked through all your saved edits with an amused look. "think you might be even more obsessed than these fans." he teased, his shoulders shaking as a chuckle escaped his lips.

"god, can't someone enjoy videos of their jaw-droppingly handsome, gorgeous, hot, attractive boyfriend in peace?"

"not when you're right next to said handsome boyfriend, watching those videos on the highest possible volume."

you waved off his quip, "details, details." you propped your head on his shoulder and watched in silent amusement as he regrettably decided to open the comments on one of the edits. he's not even sure how some of these comments slipped past community guidelines, while some were rather tame, gushing about how good he looked, some were so depraved he thought he was going to get permanent frown lines just by looking at them.

"if you though that was bad, you should see what i say on twitter."

for the sake of his sanity, kiyoomi decides against checking your twitter account.

my 31 pending school reqs will not stop me from kiyoomi posting!!

#♡ crumpled paper #i dont like this 1 but i cant bring myself to work on it anymore its been like 2 weeks 😭😭#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x you #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa fluff

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cherih3 · 10 months

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another cowboy grayson left undone

#dick grayson #richard grayson #nightwing #dc comics #batman #thought this was turning out good but i cant bring myself to render it...#scared of it turning out uglee...

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haunted-xander · 3 months

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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that #like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was #but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it #urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her #it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything #urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation #y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance #too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change #and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK #GOD #urianger augurelt #thancred waters #ryne waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne #urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag

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bumofthewild · 1 month

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i was watching my bro play hades recently

#hades #artemis #thanatos #zagreus #thanzag #art #zagreus and thanatos still make my head spin so much (positive) i just cant bring myself to say anything about them as a result

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koszmarnybudyn · 2 months

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They were right this would make a pretty sick cover.

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #my art #dndads spoilers #scary marlowe #tw eye horror #cw eye horror #cw eye imagery #you cant belive how fun making this was #it accidently became kinda trans flag colored but im not complaning #also went to a vintage market kinda thing today and bouht myself a vintage pocket watch (very cool makes me wanna make an 19th century suit)#and some vinyls (random ones cause i wanna make a bag out of them) and a lighter (kinda wanna engrave “this too shall pass” onto it ngl #could also engrave a web on it but i am supercticious enough not to bring cursed things/things made to look cursed into my house #(that's probablly quite silly though)#anyway i had a lot of fun and i hope you had too :)#oh and i have yet to finish the new episode (but i did get to listen to malevolent s4 finale and i hope to get some art done for it soon )

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blueskingdom · 3 months

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screw the leafs have auston’s side profile instead

#cause wtf is going on #cant even bring myself to watch any third period anymore #do we not learn from our past mistakes??#apparently fucking not #can we not do empty nets again. i beg.#tell myself i dont care #yet here we are #see yall back on thursday..#(#HERE FROM THE FUTURE OMHEJCNKSLG #papi hatty and a win life is good #)#anyway have some am34 side profile cause we need to find joy wherever possible #peak the sweater paws though #babygirlism actually #toronto maple leafs #maple leafs #auston matthews #am34

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rapidhighway · 1 year

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his looks>>>>>

#mephiles the dark #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic the hedghog fanart #art #fanart #doodle #digital art #im just doing whatever its 10 am and i cant bring myself to do any of my homework #i guess ill just do it tomorrow and not go to my morning classes >_<#ah

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amoebeau · 1 year

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im woobifying the priest game in ways you cant even imagine

#sorry god i will never twinkify john ward #i cant bring myself to do it #LAST ONES A JOKE. taking advantage of them all being bi canonically #faith game #faith the unholy trinity #john ward #lisa pearson #my art #too many to tag sorry #btw i dont ship john and lisa #i guess if thats ur thing then heres food for you

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hopperclock · 2 years

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top ten etho intros that make you feel very normal

#ethoslab #art #hermitcraft #the dream sequence nearly had me shaking my monitor but i cant bring myself to draw anything from it

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gregorybacon · 3 months

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Day 3 - Fluff/Angst

#i love them so much i cant bring myself to do angst...#maybe another day O_o... <3 #sp #south park #south park fanart #gregory south park #gregory sp #christophe south park #ze mole #christophe sp #christophe delorne #gregstophe #gregory of yardale #gregory x christophe #gregstopheweek #gregstophe week #gregstopheweek2024

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lesbianshepard · 1 year

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they should invent a driving a car that isn't scary

#m #i hate driving so much i get so nervous and scared #but i need to in order to be a shovelbum #because i need to #y'knw #get places #i miss charleston i miss college i miss being able to walk places #every time i get behind the wheel im like aaaaaaa #and its genuinely like harming my ability to live life #like i cant bring myself to drive without panicking #but i need to drive to get a job to afford doctors so i can get back on my meds #but i need my meds to be able to bring myself to drive #so you can see the problem here

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t34-mt · 3 months

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i slapped a hypothetical look of an altuyur map but since im beyond stupid i fucked it up and it looks like shit on a globe, but whatever ill fix it one day. While ice caps are smaller than on Earth, it wasn't meant to be invisible on a globe

note that southern maanuls don't even actually live in south but just down to what western populations are settled, the two overlap a lot, maanuls kind of got it all wrong. That light hole is just where kyhuine come from, they are "locked" in by the mountain range and deep red biomes.

#altuyur #whatever i dont want to tag shit #2023 art #art block so shit i cant even bring myself to write stuff for public either

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thattouceyboy · 5 months

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This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do for my pride, and I know that it is a long shot. I am taking the biggest shot in the dark that I have ever done, and I hopefully will never again in my life need to do this.

My name is Severin. I am going to be homeless soon if I cannot find some way to gain money, and I am making this post to beg on my hands and knees to find help.

You can message me for the links to help, as I have no follower base and I'm afraid this post will disappear entirely if I try to out in a link or tag it in any way. If you'd like a tarot reading, I can do those. If you'd like a piece of writing, I can do that. I'll edit your school paper. You do not need to send me anything for nothing, if you want something in return I will do what I can. But I need help. What I need in the long run is $2,550— what I am asking for is $500, even $100 cumulatively from anyone, anywhere around this site who has anything to spare.

I know this is a long shot. I know this is the site of disabled queer folk who have nothing for themselves. But I am hoping against hope that if I swallow my pride and put this out there, I will be able to scrape by without ending up homeless.

Please reblog if you can... I know most of us don't have money. I'm just trying to not be out in the literal cold for a Canadian December.

#mutual aid #community aid #tarot reading #writing commisions #please gods let there be someone who can help. i know what i am asking. please no one feel obligated i just dont want to freeze to death.#i will give a breakdown of what the money is for if asked i just. i cant bring myself to put it out there like this.#also if anyone has tag recs to grt this out there...please send them to me

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