Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

Unlikely Places

Request: Hi! I love your work! Can you do a ABO? One where the reader is Beta, and Dean Alpha, and she’s his true mate/soulmate, but they don’t know it, and he gets possessive and goes into almost a feral rut where he tries to claim, and it almost kills her but Sam and Rowena save her and give Dean his Omega back? You come up with the plot because you’re amazing at that!! Please! I’d be forever in your debt!

A/N: This is the first time i have ever written ABO in the context. So please take it easy of me if some of the information isn’t isn’t normal ABO dynamic, or isn’t necessarily something seen in specific AU’s before! This is not a series, just a one shot! As always feedback is golden. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous about posting this one. It’s the most “Non-Con” I have ever written, and it took me weeks to get this written out in a way that I thought might be acceptable. I hope you all enjoy this one!

This one was Beta’d by @squirrelnotsam! Thanks so much hun! <3

Please heed the warnings on this Fic!! Warnings: (((TRIGGER WARNING!! This fic contains Non-Con, borderline rape implications! Please take caution when reading this if something like this affects you! ))) 

Other Warnings: Smut, almost non-con, angst, possessive Alpha, ABO Dynamics, knotting, forced claiming, forced knotting rut, almost feral Alpha, true mates, soul mates, knotting, mentions of first heat, language, scenting, non consensual scenting, disturbing Alpha behavior. Aggression, Pain, scared reader, Dean can be pretty scary in this one. Massive age gap! 19 year old reader x 41 year old Dean! Mention of parental death of reader’s parents. Language I’m sure because it’s me. 

Word count: 5244

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***MASTERLIST***

“That will be $8.97,” you tell the woman standing in front of you. She pays you for her purchase, and you hand her bag to her as the door opens and closes with a dinging chime. 

Your eyes train to the large Alpha male that just walked into the filling station you were working at in Lebanon, Kansas. The Omega you were just checking out wasted no time in straightening her blouse by pulling it down lower, and making quite the show of herself as the Alpha grabbed a basket near the door, and lumbered his way over to the beer cooler, not even giving her a second look.

You had to suppress the snort as the Omega harshly grabbed the bag from the counter where she’d laid it when the Alpha had walked in the door, and made her way quickly towards the exit, leaving you alone with the Alpha as he made his way around the store, filling his little basket with things he usually buys every time he came in. 

Pie, beer, jerkies of different types, sometimes toilet paper, the odd Playboy as well as the next copy of Busty Asian Beauty, lube.

You weren’t worried about being left alone in the small store with the rather large and very attractive Alpha. It’s not like it was the first time he’d ever been there, and it wasn’t like he would have any interest in you, a beta. 

By law, you weren’t even allowed to speak to him unless he spoke to you first. Betas were considered even lower than Omegas and weren’t allowed to address an Alpha directly. You had to choose your words wisely when it comes to Omegas too, but they weren’t nearly as hard about that law as they were with the Alphas. 

You watched quietly from behind the counter as the Alpha picked up the newest porn magazine from the rack and placed it in his basket after thumbing through a few pages. 

You wondered if the Alpha lived alone. He carried himself like a bachelor, you never saw him with an Omega, nor had he expressed any interest in any Omega that was in the store the same time he was, male or female. Maybe something was wrong with him physically that prevented him from having those hormone-driven urges that seemed to rule the Alpha and Omega community? 

Whatever the reason, the Alpha seemed to be almost done with his shopping, so he made his way over the counter with his basket, setting it down before finally looking up at you, giving you a tight smile before grabbing a few candy bars and adding them to his pile of stuff. 

You returned his smile with a little more enthusiasm than what was probably necessary, but you couldn’t help it. Alpha or not, the man was sex on two bowed legs, and you weren’t dead. 

Instead of speaking, when you had his total, you turned the screen to him so that he could read his total. This was your usual routine with the Alphas that came in the store; it was just safer.  

His piercing green eyes seemed to burn a little as he tilted his head to the side and looked at you, or as much of you as he could see through the counter. Something in his stare made you want to blush; even though Alphas and Betas were not compatible physically, you felt like he was sizing you up. You had no scent strong enough that he would be attracted to, and you weren’t anatomically able to take his knot, which from what you understand was necessary to fulfill his needs. 

You were 19 years old. If you were going to be anything other than a Beta by now you were positive you would have presented. You still had not, so the Alpha staring at you made you literally take a step back away from the counter, your heart rate spiking as hungry eyes watched you curiously, like he was noticing you for the first time even though you’d rang up his items a thousand times before. 

“What’s your name?” he grunts, and his baritone voice sends a shiver down your spine, landing somewhere deep in your stomach, making it do a flip of sorts. 

“Y/N,” you answer shortly, utterly unaccustomed to talking to Alphas. There was no one Alpha that you could recall that had ever spoken to you, and you had been working at this filling station since you were 16.

Your parents were killed by a demon when you were very small, and you were delivered to an Omega compound when you were only 12 by the man that saved your life. It was assumed you would present as an Omega because you came from what they all called a “pure” bloodline.  

Much to the community leaders disappointment you never presented. So they kicked you out on your ass to fend for yourself, and you were lucky to have landed this job, and the Omega owner let you sleep in the back part of the storehouse. 

Finding a place to live on your own as a beta, and at such a young one was virtually impossible, and you would have been dead by now if it wasn’t for her. You never told her about your past, and you never intended to, after all, who else in this twisted world would believe in demons.

The green-eyed Alpha leaned forward slightly, breathing in deeply, his nostrils flaring as he attempted to scent you from a distance, and you put your finger on the panic button just under the cigarette counter you were leaning against, ready to push it if he tried to cross the counter. Sure, you would probably be dead before the cops got there, but at least they would be able to find the security footage and maybe track him down. 

You didn’t know what triggered this behavior from him, he’d never done anything like this before, and you wondered if he had just scented the Omega that was previously here, and just thought it was you.

The Alpha placed a large hand on the counter, about to start making his way around it when the door dinged again, and a skinny Beta man you thought you’d never see again entered the store. 

“Dean! There you are? What’s taking so long buddy? Sam’s ready to get back to his Omega?” he said as he approached the green-eyed Alpha you now knew was named “Dean”, smiling as he noticed you standing behind the counter.

“Y/N? Little Y/N Y/L/N is that you?” he asked as he shoved the large Alpha aside, and leaned against the counter to talk to you. Earning himself a very disgruntled look from the Alpha and the Beta’s boldness. 

“Hey Garth, it’s been a while,” you said, smiling at him warmly. You had met Garth years ago when he showed up to the Omega community you were living at not long after you’d been dumped there, taking a few Omegas there for safety after he wrapped up a hunt in Salt Lake City. 

“No kidding! Look at you all grown up. What are you doing here?” he asked, totally ignoring Dean as his eyes narrowed, looking swiftly between yourself and Garth as if he was annoyed that he was missing something.

“Well, I never presented, so they marked me down as Beta when I was sixteen, I’ve been living and working here ever since. What are you doing here? There’s not another Demon around is there?” you asked, and before Garth could answer, Dean spoke up directly to Garth, who, for some reason, seemed completely unfazed by the large, and brooding Alpha leering at him.

“Wait a minute, what’s going on here? She knows about the life?” Dean said, pointing at you as if you were a piece of furniture, and you weren’t standing there at all. Typical Alpha male behavior, but you knew better than to call him out on it. 

“Yeah! A group of hunters saved her from a particularly nasty Demon when she wasn't but twelve, and dropped her off at the hunting Omega compound. Looks like that didn’t work out though.” Garth said, giving you an apologetic look. 

Dean turned his gaze to you, that same hungry look burning just below the surface as he took you in from head to toe. A deep growl low in his chest that made Garth burst into laughter, and you look at Garth as if he had finally lost his damn mind. 

“Just ignore Dean, he’s an old Alpha who’s on the edge of a rut for the first time in too long. His brother and his Omega just moved into their bunker up the road here, and it’s triggered his hormones again.” Garth said with an eye roll, totally ignoring Dean as his eyes widened, and he looked at Garth like he could rip his throat out with his teeth for divulging that little bit of information. 

“Come on Dean; we need to go, Sam’s gonna kill you if you wait any longer,” Garth said, grabbing the card from Dean’s pocket and throwing it on the counter for you to ring up his stuff. You quickly bagged his items, handed them to the Alpha along with his credit card as Garth blubbered on about something you weren’t even really listening to, doing all you could to ignore the burning, tingling feeling that the Alpha’s skin left on yours as your hand touched his. 

The rest of the day progressed much as every day would. You could have sworn you saw that black Impala he was driving when you closed up that night, but you thought you must be imagining things, and locked the door before making your way to your makeshift bedroom in the back of the warehouse. Falling into an uneasy sleep, that seemed to be haunted by green eyes. 

The next morning you trudged your way over to the front door to open up for the day, still rubbing your eyes and yawning widely. You didn’t see Dean until he pushed the door open almost on top of you before you could step back as if he was waiting on the door to open. You stumbled back out of his way in surprise, fully awake now. Dean said nothing, just came very close to you, scenting the air around you before tilting his head to look at you curiously. 

You didn’t speak, you didn’t move, hell you were too afraid to do anything but stand there holding on the counter next to the coffee pots. 

Leaning over your shoulder, Dean brushes his body against your own as he reaches behind you, and grabs a coffee cup, filling it with black coffee all while keeping you virtually pinned to the counter. His body moving over your much smaller frame made an involuntary shiver roll through your body as he pulled away from you, and made his way over to one of the small booth seats next to the window before making himself comfortable there. His green eyes followed your every move as you quickly made your way to hide behind the counter. 

Your entire body was shaking as you tried to get a grip on yourself, as well as your imagination that was running wild in your head. It was effectively putting all kinds of thoughts that shouldn’t be there, thoughts that were not only so far fetched they were laughable, but thoughts of Dean’s hands on your skin, thoughts of Dean’s powerful body moving above yours in a way that made you almost whimper. 

Shaking yourself,  you continue about your day, choosing to ignore the large Alpha once you have calmed down enough to move from behind the counter. Dean never left his booth except to go to the bathroom. He stayed there literally all day long, just watching your every move. Never speaking to you, never getting close to you again, just watching. When you closed that night, you had to finally speak directly to him, to get him out of there, even though you knew you weren’t supposed to address him without being addressed first. 

“Dean, I’m closing, you have to leave,” you tell him in a voice you hope sounded more confident than you felt. Dean said nothing, his green eyes racking over your body before he stands and leaves without so much as a word, and you lock the door quickly behind him.

The next week went on much of the same. Dean would be there as soon as the door unlocked. Thankfully you had learned to move when you opened the door. He’d take his seat in the booth after scenting you, then would stay there until you made him leave, just watching you. 

You knew Alphas could become possessive of Betas, it was rare, but it did happen. You also knew that possessive Alpha’s could be dangerous, and had the tendency to be violent towards the Betas they have become possessive over, or they could become brutal to people around them in general. 

Dean was an older Alpha. If you had to guess, he was in his early 40’s and unmated. Things like this happened when Alphas went unmated for too long. 

You tried to text Garth, but he didn’t answer, he was probably on a case somewhere. You knew Garth said that he was about to go into rut, and with Dean’s behavior as of late, you hoped that Garth was just joking. Cause a rut could mean he’d try and hurt you. 

The next day you didn’t see Dean all day long. You thought maybe he found something else to be focused on or obsessed with. That or Garth got your text, and alerted this Sam they were talking about to Dean’s strange behavior. Part of you was relieved, and part of you was disappointed. Sure, you knew you and Dean could never be a thing, and staring aside, he did make you feel a little safer when he was around, and he definitely made you blush every time he looked at you like he wanted to touch you. 

Three more days passed without Dean making an appearance, and you had all but gave up on ever seeing Dean again. You check to make sure everything is off before trudging your way towards the little bedroom you had made for yourself. Your mind on Dean, and not really on your surroundings, you almost miss the large man standing in your room when you turned your light off, almost, a possessive growl let you know you weren’t alone pretty quickly. 

The hair stood up on the back of your neck as you turned slowly to find Dean, standing in the middle of your room with nothing but a low hanging pair of sweats that were doing very little to hide his thick length that was straining against the fabric. 

Your core clenched around nothing, and a shiver ran through your body as you took in the Alpha, his broad shoulders and strong chest on full display as it rose and fell rapidly with each quickened breath, sweat prickling his skin as he stood in the dim light. His tattoo shines boldly on his chest,  you knew of as an anti possession tattoo from your time at the compound. You backed up and he took a step towards you, a deep purring coming from him as his lust blown eyes scanned your body. 

“Dean, you need to leave,” you tell him, knowing full well that wasn’t going to happen. He was in rut, and you were the object he’d chosen to fixate on, and now you were pretty sure he was going to kill you.

Dean, back you slowly towards your bed, growling low in his throat as his body came down over yours as you fell onto your bed. He was nuzzling his face deep in your neck, scenting you and purring as his teeth ran over your throat. 

“Dean, you need to stop, I’m not an Omega. We can’t do this, you will hurt me,” you beg him even though your body was screaming for the Alpha hovering over you, now nipping at the skin of your hroat.  

“Not an Omega, still mine. You want me, I can smell it,” he said as he ripped your shirt from your body as if the materially wasn’t made of anything at all. The cold air hitting your skin made you gasp, large hands roaming all the free skin as his mouth claimed yours dominating you easily. His tongue sliding over yours as his huge hands pulled your shorts and underwear from your body. He threw them to the floor before he discarded his own sweats. 

“Dean, think about this, I can’t take your knot, this isn’t going to do anything but frustrate you further,” you attempt to make him see reason, even though your body was arching into him as if he couldn’t get close enough, his thick cock sliding through your dripping folds, gathering as much of your slick as he could. Purring and licking at your throat as he did so.

Dean was huge, you had heard that Alphas were large, but Dean was so big that you weren’t sure he’d get in all the way. You’d only ever been with Betas before, and you were convinced that he was twice the size of any of them without his knot.

“Mine,” Dean growled against your skin as he pushed into you, fully seating himself inside of you in one thrust, surprising you. The stretching was almost painful: you had never felt so full in all of your life. Dean’s mouth fell open in an inhuman growl as his lips latched around your nipple, sucking and biting as his hips began to snap into yours. He pulled himself almost all the way out before fully penetrating you again. Each powerful thrust on the edge of pure bliss and too much. 

You were almost sure that you could practically scent him as he continued to pound himself into your body, over and over again hitting that stop deep down inside of you that no one had ever been able to reach before. Purrs and growls falling from his lips as teeth repeatedly grazed the same spot on your neck. You could feel the coil tightening in your stomach with each powerful thrust, and before long, you were coming undone around him. Dean continued to fuck you through it. Groaning and sucking a mark onto your shoulder as spots appeared before your vision. 

Your head lulled back as you came down from your high. Dean’s body continued to slam into your own. 

That’s when you felt it, the stinging pain that was the beginnings of his knot. You knew he was about to split you open, and you did everything you could to get him off of you, scratching, and biting seemed to only push him on. Possessive growls left his lips with each thrust into your abused heat.

“Dean, please stop, I can’t,” you begged him as you felt his knot start to swell further, and pain began to radiate through your body. Dean was too far gone, an animalistic look on his face as he quickened his pace. 

You screamed as his knot popped, locking the two of you together as he came, his teeth sank deep into the skin of your throat as your mouth fell open in a scream that never came out. Your vision goes black as indescribable pain radiated through your body. The last thing you remember was Dean purring above you as everything faded to black.

Time seemed to be moving at a strange pace after that. You would get flashes of what you only assumed could be reality because of the blinding pain radiating through our body. You could have sworn you heard Dean apologizing to you between whining noises as he carried you somewhere. Then there was the sound of the Impala starting, after that, you didn't know much. Except for pain, you knew pain because it felt like it was burning through every fiber of your being. 

When you woke up again, the pain was gone, but the first thing you saw was fiery red hair, making you jump, which caused pain to shoot through your body again.

“Easy there, dear, you’ve been through a lot; let’s not move around too quickly,” her thick accent and motherly voice seemed soothing to you, and you slowly tried to calm your breathing.

“Where am I? Who are you?” you asked, eyes shooting around the room that looked like an old infirmary. 

“You’re in the Men of Letters Bunker. Poor Dean brought you here after he almost killed you.” 

Your heart rate spiked up at the thought of Dean. You didn’t know if you were afraid of him, or more anxious to see him again. The whining sound he was making as he carried you to his car was still so clear in your ears, and even though he did this to you, something in you told you that he didn’t mean to do it. That he wasn’t in control, he would have never hurt you of his own free will. If so, he wouldn’t have brought you here, but instead left you there to die. 

“Where is Dean?” you asked her as she fussed over your neck bandages where Dean had bitten you. 

“He’s locked in his room until he is out of his rut, not by choice mind you, he’s not happy about being kept away from you. He should be out of it by the end of the day. Last I checked on him, and he will be happy to hear you're awake, the name’s Rowena by the way, “ she said as she walked over to the old book sitting at a table in the corner of the room. 

You watched as the older Omega woman flipped through the old book's pages in front of her, adding ingredients to the bowl sitting on the table next to her.

“Why did he do this to me?” you asked her just as the door opened and closed with Garth, and another very large Alpha entered the room with long brown hair.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Rowena here is the best witch in the business, and if there’s a way to solve this, she can.” Garth said as he flopped down at the foot of your bed. “This is Sam, by the way, Dean’s little brother.” 

Sam nodded politely at you before making his way over to Rowena. 

“What we don’t understand is why my brother tried to claim and knot a beta. He doesn’t understand it either. All we can get out of him is that you're his mate and that he needs to see you. I'm sure you don’t want that to happen, especially after what he did to you, so we’ve locked him in his room.” Sam said, his eyes barely leaving the book.

“I’ve heard of a lot of strange things, but I’ve never heard of an Alpha trying to claim and knot a beta as if she was an Omega, and then calling her his mate,” Garth said. 

“He’s been following me around for days now, and then he just showed up and…”

You were cut off by a banging on the door, followed by a loud whining, you recognized as Dean. Rowena’s eyes flashed a purple color, and she turned to smile at everyone in the room as the incessant whining and banging continued. 

“Don’t worry, he’s not getting through that door, you should rest Dear,” she told you as the room started to get fuzzy, you were sure she was the cause of your sudden drowsiness in attempt to keep you from further agitating Dean, but you didn’t have time to respond to her before you fell back into a deep sleep. 

------------------------------------

The next thing you remember is feeling warm, very warm, as if a body was pressed against yours. That’s what made your eyes snap open to see Dean’s worried gaze as he lay in the bed next to you, your body scooped up and pressed tight against his own, holding onto you as if he could protect you from all danger. 

Deep whines mixed with purrs filled the room as he nuzzled himself into you gently, scenting you deeply as if he could scent you.

“This is a Bad Idea,” Sam’s voice came from the other side of the room. He was clearly keeping his distance from the Alpha that was holding you. 

“He’s not going to hurt her, Sam,” Rowena said. Shifting very close to you, setting a bowl down next to you with strange ingredients inside. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I swear I would have never done that if I could have stopped, I would have, I never wanted to hurt you,” Dean mumbled, kissing your forehead gently as if you were some fragile thing. His large body all but covering your protectively as you fought against your groggy state. 

“We think we know what the problem is,” Garth said from somewhere behind Dean. “See all those years ago, that Demon must have done something to you, sort of like what Azazel did to Sam. You were an experiment. One that intended to turn Omega’s into Beta’s before they even presented. There are traces of the Omega gene in your blood. Crowley mentioned something about it a long time ago, but we didn’t know he was successful. The only explanation is that you were Dean’s true mate, and he can somehow still sense it, which is why he went almost feral and tried to claim you.” 

You could almost feel the anxiety rolling off of Dean’s body, and you instinctively nuzzled his hold, earning purrs of approval from the Alpha above you. 

“See that, she senses he’s nervous, and she’s trying to comfort him. She’s his Omega, I just got to get the spell right to fix this,” Rowena said, shuffling around in her bowl.

“So what are you all gonna do to me?” you asked as Dean tightened the covers around the both of you, pulling you deeper into him.

“We’re going to turn you into an Omega,” Sam says, handing Rowena a strange vile of something to add to her bowl. 

You look up at Dean nervously, and he places his lips softly on yours in a chaste kiss. 

“It’s gonna be okay; I wouldn’t let them do this if it was going to hurt you. They’re just gonna fix what that sick asshole did to you all those years ago.” Dean said, his deep baritone voice was comforting to you, and you could swear that you could almost feel the bond between the two of you, and you were still technically a beta. 

“Okay, dear, we’re ready,” Rowena said as she placed the bowl on the bed next to you, and you buried your face in Dean’s throat. 

You could hear her making incantations, and things first. Then a strange tingling started to stretch through your body. Scents became stronger; you could smell Dean first. His own mouth-watering musk, mixed with evergreen and gunpowder, then Sam, and Rowena.

Your skin started to heat up as Dean’s body tense above your own, purring as Rowena ended her spell. Pressing his nose to your neck he scented you deeply. 

Your body felt new, refreshed even. The soreness that was there from what Dean had done was gone, and you could feel everything Dean felt. Every emotion, every fear. It was all so overwhelming. Reaching up, you pulled the bandage away from your neck, revealing the mark Dean had left there. His claim still shines against your skin, as even though you knew he thought it would be gone.

Rowena clapped her hands behind you as Dean ran his tongue along the claiming mark on your neck, and slick started to gather at your thighs in response to your Alpha. “Well, my job here is done. Call me if you all need me, oh and enjoy, dear,” she said, patting Dean on the shoulder as she made her way to the door. Dean picked you up bridal style, making his way towards his room that would now be your room.

Not stopping until he had you laid down on his bed, lying down close to you before pulling you into him, purring as he nipped at the skin of your throat. 

“My Omega,” he purred against you, an overwhelming feeling of peace washing over you with each touch of his large, warm hand against your small frame.

“My Alpha,” you tell him, nuzzling closer to him, letting his scent wash over you in waves. 

“I thought you didn’t exist, I thought I was doomed to die alone. Then when I found you, I thought I had lost my mind. Then when I came to myself in your room… I’m so sorry, Omega, I will never hurt you again,” Dean said, his voice cracking as he pulled his clothes from his body, throwing them to the floor as you did the same. Desperate to feel your Alpha’s skin on yours. Heat roars through your veins as his body wrapped around yours, his half-hard cock resting on your thighs as he settles himself to lay between your legs. 

You place your small hand on his chest as his lips claim yours in an intoxicating kiss before rolling himself on top of you. Grinding his hips against yours, rutting his hardening length against your clit as the first wave of cramps rolls through your stomach of your first heat. Slick gushing over him as he pressed himself against your entrance, knowing what your body needed, and ready to give it to you. The foreplay could come later; right now, he just needed to be as close to you as possible.

“It’s okay Alpha. In a lot of ways, I’m so glad you found me. I was sleeping in a storage closet for fucks sakes.”

Dean growled as he entered you slowly in one smooth thrust. The amount of slick your body was creating made a smooth entrance, and he held himself still inside of you as his lips claimed yours. Your walls fluttering around his throbbing length as your body welcomed him like a missing piece that finally was in place after being lost for so long. Both of you groaned in relief as he filled you.

“Gonna take care of you Omega, no more sleeping in storage rooms. I can’t give you much, but I can give you all that I have, and I can protect you with everything in me.” 

Dean hips snap into you in a rough thrust as his instincts begin to take over, and your heat starts to take the forefront of his attention.

“I’m all yours Alpha. Always will be.”

There was a lot you still had to learn about being an Omega, and you still didn't even know your Alpha really, but you knew one thing, you were so glad he found you. Pain and all, it was worth it.

Fate always finds a way, even with everything against you. In the most unlikely places, even after you gave up hope. That’s one lesson you will never forget. 

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Problem One: The Screen(s) and Digital Workspace

Part one of my multi-part doc about what I learned from doing online college at a non-online institution. This chapter: my Desktop as a Desk

     Highlighted points: learning styles, work type/function in relation to the computer 

       My biggest problem with being pushed online after being at an in-person institution was, and still is, my forced reliance on the computer. I have to sit in front of it for hours: attending classes on Zoom; checking email every three hours; accessing Moodle pages for class and out-of-class work (Moodle is what my institution uses, other web management/e-learning software platforms include PowerLearning, Blackboard, and OU Campus, among others). And the work itself can be watching documentaries, watching seminars, accessing ebook/PDF documents, annotating documents in online portals… it's a lot. People have talked at length about "zoom fatigue," as well as the eyestrain headaches that can come with staring at said screens for hours at a time. I'll talk about my own lessons learned about that later.

       The assumption among the administrators and (some) people of older generations than those currently in school seems to be that working online with computers and smartphones is more efficient. That isn't necessarily true; it all depends on the type of task and the person being expected to complete it. In my case, I cannot, for the life of me, focus on dense sections of text presented on a backlit screen. Thus, reading and answering emails is okay, but downloading scanned textbook pages to be read on a laptop screen (along with trying to highlight and annotate them) is hell on earth.

       Why is this? Different reasons for different people, but in my case it's because reading/"writing" on a screen interferes with my learning style(s), which are visual/spatial, audio, and kinetic. Audio doesn't come into play for reading on a screen, but seeing words physically in a certain location relative to other words on a page is very important to my memory of the material. Computer screens can display pretty much anything at any given time; book pages can only display whatever was permanently printed onto them. That is, the content of a book page in physical space will always be the same unless you, the reader, manipulate it; a computer screen can have any type of content displayed as long as its pixels can light up and process the information. And for me, that's a problem because I don't have any physical space to relate the information to, plus I don't get a sense of how long the document is. Recalling a passage in a printout, for me, goes like this: "I remember it was on the top-left of a page towards the beginning, the shape of the paragraph was funny too… ah, there it is." Recalling a passage on a digital scan of the same document is much harder for me by contrast: literally any of the paragraphs could have made its way to the top-left of my computer screen, if I moved the window around or zoomed in to better read the text; documents are an endless scroll upward or downwards, with (maybe) a sidebar to tell me what page I've landed on. All of my "landmarks" are functions of the program I am using to access the document. They're static and contained to a window... that can show up anywhere on my computer screen. Not conducive to the way I learn at all.

       My kinetic learning style comes into play with the computer, too. Annotating a document? In the physical world, a pen on the document itself does the trick; going through the physical movement of circling a word or making a note are things that solidify the information in my mind. Annotating a PDF document? First of all, it's difficult to do with a mouse (and God help you if you have a trackpad), and it's highly dependent on the program that the user selects to open the PDF. I could connect a drawing tablet, if I have one, but they're very expensive and their use is, again, dependent on the compatibility with whatever reader program the user selects. All this to say: annotating on the computer doesn't work for me, either. My kinetic and visual learning styles come together with note-taking. My memory is highly dependent on seeing words as they are formed by my own hand, processing them, and connecting meaning to them as they sit in a specific place on the page (am I over-explaining this? Basically, writing notes by hand and seeing where those notes are on a piece of paper help me remember them). Typing notes isn't a replacement for hand-writing notes for me; while I'm busy fixing my typos (on words I would never misspell on paper, usually, since my fingers are just moving weirdly over the keys), the professor moves on, and I'm not listening well enough to catch the fact that I've missed new information.

       The takeaway here is figure out your individual types of work relate to being on the computer. As I said, the computer hinders many aspects of my learning when it comes to memory and efficiency. As a creative tool, however, it has almost the opposite effect; writing assignments for fiction, poetry, and screenwriting classes are much more efficient on the computer. From creative thought to keystroke, I have less time to second-guess or forget my ideas, and both the immediacy and changeability of word processing programs actually works in my favor for those sorts of things.

       What I did differently from first online semester to second:

       1) I figured out which materials helped me remember my notes the best. Honestly, I wasn't even doing this when I was at in-person college, and to my detriment, but I couldn't get away with it at all once I went fully remote. Think back to when you were in lower levels of school: were there certain types of materials you gravitated towards in the classroom? Did you like basic composition notebooks with faint blue lines? Wide-ruled or college-ruled paper? Did you discover that graph paper just worked really nicely with all notes besides math, or that blank pages were less busy for your eyes? When you used pens, did you prefer blue or black ink, or did colored ink help certain things stick? If you can control what materials you use to take notes with, consider using ones akin to those from a class you either a) remembered the most fondly or b) remembered the most information from. Scour your memories of class experiences for anything, no matter how small, that may have made your life easier. Equally, take note of what tasks actually worked well digitally. Adjust accordingly.

(Personally, I found my magic formula was a 1-subject memorandum notebook — marginless, with very narrow line rulings; while I hesitate to direct you to Amazon, they are hard to find at a decent price otherwise, and you can get a 12 pack for just over $40 from them — with black ink from a 0.38-size gel pen (I used a basic Pilot G2 pen until it ran out, then bought ink refills in the smaller size). To "highlight" my notes, I circled or underlined information with a blue gel pen of the same variety. Keep in mind again that I'm learning to be a translator; this is just what works for me.)

       2) If I needed to print something out, I printed it out. Environmental guilt is something I struggled with a lot, and there was always something about staying on the computer that convinced me I was being "less wasteful" by staying digital. But with how much time and energy I ultimately saved reading a printed document that can be recycled vs the electricity I ate up spinning my wheels in front of the ebook… to me, it was worth it. If you find that helps you, too, don't be ashamed to print certain things out.

(If conserving ink and paper is a concern to you, it is possible in some viewing/editing apps to remove or cover images, either with white squares or by taking the images out completely. I have an old MacBook Pro and on current versions of Preview, one can draw shapes and fill them in white to cover parts of the scan that would eat up ink, such as blurred black borders and scanned images. For documents in a word processing program like Microsoft Word or Pages, it may also be possible to print the documents out at a smaller size, allowing more text or even multiple pages to show up on a single sheet of paper.)

| In the coming days/weeks I hope to be posting more content about how I tried to adapt to fully remote learning and the things I’ve learned along the way! Follow for updates ♥︎ |

Be Mine, this Quarantine

"Dude." Dean nervously chuckles, scrubbing his face with his hand. The other one holds the phone to his ear. "I haven't even been able to ask this guy out to dinner. And you're asking me to ask him to go into isolation with me?"

"You're being dramatic again." Sam tells him, matter-of-factly, as if Dean's the one being unreasonable here.

Sam is the one who specifically called him on a Sunday from California to remind him to self-isolate, but "do it with someone like Castiel, okay?" - like he's supposed to be taking care of his older brother from fucking Stanford, like Dean knows anyone else like Cas, and like he's ever going to be able to propose something of that sort to Cas.

"He has a third-floor apartment." Sam points out, revisiting all of his super valid points. "You share a dorm with three other guys. And he just seems like the kind who'd be the correct amount of a germophobe." Dean rolls his eyes - although he also agrees. "Dean, you share so many classes with him that if nothing else, you could revise your entire semester together - and to top it all off, you're like best friends."

Benny comes to Dean's head and he starts to protest.

"You text him, Dean." The eyeroll and bitchface are audible in Sam's voice. "You, who exits all text chains you've ever been added to because quote unquote you're not an adolescent teenager with a celebrity crush, or looking to be catfished - you, Dean Winchester, text Cas."

That - wasn't far from the truth.

He wouldn't call them texting buddies or anything, but Castiel always sends a good morning text, and Dean always sends him a picture of his breakfast (because that's what he's up to by the time Castiel wakes up) and sometimes Dean's late for class because he lost track of time while talking to Cas, and sometimes they stay up all night together discussing the most inconsequential things like why mattresses matter to Dean and bees matter to Cas, and - yeah. He should probably call them texting buddies.

"Whatever, bitch." Dean throws back, taking the small losses his way as long as he wins the final battle. "Fine, we're friends. That doesn't automatically mean we'll be able to live together."

"You cannot actually mean that." Sam scoffs. "You're the best kind of neat freak I know, because you just end up doing all the tidying up by yourself. And you can cook." Dean huffs. "Admit it, jerk. Compatibility in a shared living space shouldn't be your concern."

Sure, Sam makes some good points, but Dean has the biggest card up his sleeve - which will trump all of Sam's meticulously presented arguments.

He's sorta in love with Cas.

But to say out loud to his little brother, it comes out as, "What if Cas doesn't want me there?"

Sam pauses.

Point, Dean Winchester.

"That's exactly why you need to talk to him." He finally says, but he sounds more thoughtful like it finally entered his twenty two year old brain that Cas might not want to shack up with Dean.

"Like hell, I will."

"I swear on your bullshit, Dean," Sam threatens. "I won't hesitate to take a cheap-ass flight, straight to Cas's apartment."

Dean balks. "You're not getting on any planes right now, Sammy -"

"And you're asking him." Sam declares, and if he were in front of Dean, he'd be crossing his arms on his chest which usually implies the end of a debate in Sam-the-to-be-lawyer speak. "Promise me."

"What will I even say?" Dean retorts, indignant. "Like, do I just go up to the guy like 'hey, wanna have me impose on you for a bunch of weeks?'" Sam snickers like Dean's trying to be funny. "'I promise to clean and make you food if you let me live with you during a pandemic'?"

"Something like that." Sam laughs, and Dean has to smile - because that doesn't happen very often and when it does, it reminds him of a past where they were much closer than California and Kansas. "Tell me how it goes, okay?"

"Nothing's going -"

"You promised."

"I didn't fucking promise a thing -"

The line clicks, and Sam is gone. Dean lands back on his bed, and wonders briefly if it'd be easier to die.

*

He calls Cas - because they're not goddamn texting buddies, no matter what Sam says - and asks if he's free for lunch.

Cas says yes and actually sounds excited about it.

*

When Dean reaches their usual diner, he takes longer than usual to park the Impala - all the while thinking about how he's going to frame the question to Cas, because he's fought it out with himself and knows that he's going to do it. He'd also taken longer than usual to drive there from the University apparently, because when he reaches, Cas is already there.

He's sitting on a table for two - probably just because that allows him to have a seat against the wall and Cas is kind of adorable about small things like that - and he's slumping over his phone.

But he puts it down when Dean approaches, and as Dean takes off his jacket, Cas puts his phone back in his jeans and uses his fingers to fidget instead. When Dean sits, a little amused, Cas is the one who speaks up first and in a hurry.

"Would you like to quarantine with me?"

Dean blinks. He takes a moment to think and then asks, "Did Sam get to you?"

"Uh, your brother Sam?" Cas frowns, shaking his head. "No, why would he?"

"Nevermind." Dean believes him. Though he cannot believe what just happened.

"So?"

"Oh." He's supposed to give an answer, because Cas doesn't know how much Dean's been thinking about it. Though, in his defense, most of the time, Cas tends to be so goddamn intuitive that Dean feels like he can read his mind.

Nonetheless, Dean tries to answer as casually as he can. "Yes. I mean, of course. Thank you for asking."

That's Dean Winchester in a sentence.

He tries to shoot for the normal, and ends up in affirmative-response-to-a-promposal territory.

"Are you sure?" Cas asks, sounding slightly less sure than before.

Did you not hear me say 'of course, thank you for asking' after that yes?

"Yeah, buddy." He pulls the menu from Cas's side of the table to his, sliding it on the table. "So what are we eating?"

"I'm not forcing you into this, am I?" Cas interrupts, hand on Dean's wrist jolting his attention back and ruining his complete 'casual' cover, because now Dean's sweating too. "Just because I asked, and just because we're friends - you don't have to say yes to anything, okay?"

"I know that." Dean gives Cas his best reassuring smile, though it's a little non-assured from his own core.

"I wake up late and I'm not sure when I sleep." Cas confesses, eyes worried. "The flat is clean only because I stuff everything in the closets. And I have a neighbor - you remember Balthazar, right? He just returned from France."

"How long ago is 'just'?" Dean repeats, and then adds. "And frankly I'd assumed he was simply being pretentious when we met."

"Two months." Castiel bites his lip. "And he is. The accent is fake."

"We'll survive." Dean announces, grinning broader. "Plus I can't wait to hear that guy minus the accent now."

Castiel makes an exasperated sound.

"Cas, how do I put this?" Dean sighs, knowing that things would eventually come to this. "I would be grateful if you'd let me stay with you, and -"

"Sometimes I wander around the house with my cat past midnight." Cas volunteers, out of the blue.

Naked?

Dean's brain jumps there and then he drags it back from the gutter - or, you know, the land of tempting imaginable scenarios.

"I want to live with you, you dumbass."

Cas pauses like that's at all surprising. "You do?"

"I was literally trying to figure out how to ask." Dean rubs the back of his neck, feeling his face heat up. "And then you did, okay? And then I said yes, and I wanted us to not talk about it all lunch because later we're going to have important shit to figure out like food and beer and toilet paper and -"

"When exactly you'll move in." Cas offers, and when he puts it like that, a little bit of Dean melts.

"Uh-huh."

"Okay." Cas smiles, and finally it's that smile - eyes all crinkled, nose all scrunched up, the very definition of gummy - and fuck, Dean's very much in love with him and has just dug himself a huge, apartment-shaped hole, but he'd fucking like to live with him too, and he's a fucking liar if he isn't being a little hopeful about it too.

"We'll not talk about it." Cas declares. "And before, you'd asked me what we were eating?"

Dean nods.

"Well, I asked the waitress for recommendations for something memorable and she offered me the specials menu." Cas says, innocent as though everyone in the city doesn't know not to ask for the specials' menu at Reed's diner.

Dean starts to pray.

"So, kale pecan pesto." Cas announces. "And yes, I had to Google what that is later and no, I'm not showing you."

"God-fucking-dammit, Cas." Dean glares at him. "These might be our last diner meals for the foreseeable future, I don't want to have rabbit food -"

And then Cas winks at him like that's something he's allowed to do, and Dean's suddenly flustered again - and if that isn't an apt summary of how living with Cas is going to be like, he doesn't know what is.

Princess, part 14

        [This story is a prequel, set in an alternate 2012, several years before The Fall of Doc Future, when Flicker is 16.  Links to some of my other work are here.  Updates are theoretically biweekly, but it’s 2020 8-)  Next chapter is partly done so I’m going to try for before the end of the year.]

Previous: Part 13

      Memories.       Flicker was sensitive to anything that might disrupt them.  With her speed, subjective versus objective time was hopeless from the start.  Even 'When was that again?' and getting things in the right order was difficult.  She needed to forget the vast majority of things that happened when she sped up.  There just wasn't space in her squishy biological brain for what she could accumulate at a million times the speed of normal human subjective consciousness.  She had always felt close to the edge of what was possible to remember.       At least for as long as she could remember--and she didn't remember anything episodic before she was nine.       How did normal humans remember, really?  It was frustrating to ask them.  They didn't know, they just did.  And the scientific literature was frustratingly poor at providing the answers she most wanted, because they were hard to quantify and measure.  Doc said recalling social interactions from episodic memory was partially a learned skill--itself stored in implicit memory.  Which Flicker was a lot better at, but didn't really understand either.       Today she remembered bits and pieces while she prepared for work.       She remembered talking to Sealord about trying to act human when you weren't.       Sealord was a... Well, you couldn't really call him superhuman anything, because he wasn't human.  He wasn't alien, either; he'd lived on Earth longer than most humans.  He was a supercephalopod giant squid, who'd had the kind of origin event that might turn a human into a superhuman if they were very lucky--and kill them if they weren't.       He was good at shapeshifting, but going from a deep sea invertebrate to a land biped was a big ask before you even got to the human part.  He looked like a handsome, Polynesian-appearing man in his social landform.  But when he started to talk, he seemed to move into the uncanny valley for many people.       Not Flicker.  She didn't expect human.  She expected 'communicate well enough to be understood', and he did.  He wasn't trying to 'pass' as human--he was a powerful being assuming a form compatible with air-based speech and human infrastructure.       She actually thought his old utility surface form suited him better.  He was more comfortable with it, and that showed.  At least to her.  It looked like a human body with a squid for a head.  It let him use tentacle waving and pigmentation changes for non-verbal communication--which he was very good at--and tentacle type at a keyboard, which was easier for him than using hands, even when he had them.  But its appearance triggered fear even worse than his social form.  Which made it counterproductive for diplomacy.       "No," he had said.  "I am not better.  At acting human.  Than you."       His speech was slow when he wasn't in a hurry, and his verbal cadence was unusual.  Using lungs and vocal cords and a human-style mouth together in the right way had taken him a long time to master.  Flicker didn't get impatient.  Getting the timing of speech right was tricky.  She did remember learning that, and the frustration.       "I am better at shapeshifting," he said.  "Squid are better at body mimicry.  Than humans.  I started with an advantage.  I am worse at other things.  You are better at human things.  As a human."       "But I'm not better," said Flicker.  "Not at the hard things."       A shake of the head.  "Yes.  Difficult things.  Humans learn as children.  And don't think them hard.  They start with an advantage."       "What hard human things do you think I'm good at?"       "Running."  Sealord smiled.  "Throwing rocks."       Flicker thought about that for a long time.

      She remembered Jetgirl's laugh.  They'd been having another round in their half-joking, half serious argument about whether Flicker could fly.       "He's right," said Jetgirl.  She grinned.  "You are way better at moving fast than I am at flying."       "But flying is hard."       "Lots of things are.  And humans have no natural ability at it.  But birds and insects do, so people can see what good flying looks like.  You've watched a hummingbird hover.  Impressive, right?"       "Yeah.  But scale matters--a Canada goose taking off is pretty cool, too.  I've watched that more times, because it looks so clunky.  But it works."       The laugh.  "Take-offs and landings are usually the hardest.  Anyway, most humans can run--or at least they could when they were kids--so they don't think running is as impressive.  And if you're moving slow enough to see, you're usually doing your glide thing, which doesn't look hard.  No one sees you move your legs much, just an occasional flash and boom."       "That glide is a convenience and safety habit.  It's quiet, and I don't have to worry about damage if I speed up suddenly."       Another grin.  "Yeah, you've already taken off, so the hard part is over."       "It's only a few centimeters up--I don't fly," said Flicker.  "I just run on air so the ground doesn't get wrecked."         "That's flying like a maglev.  You go higher as you speed up.  Lots of pilots who fly nap-of-the-earth study your patterns of flashes and booms, for educational purposes."       "That's because I have to be real careful to not run into things.  Or even get too close when I'm trailing shockwaves and plasma."       "Not running into things is pretty important for them, too."       "I'm still not flying.  Sealord's point was that humans are already adapted for bipedal locomotion, and I started with that advantage.  You don't fly with your legs and feet."       "I don't.  And that being careful is part of 'way better'."       "A point.  But my speed means I can make time to be careful."       "That's what I meant.  You build on your speed with skill and practice."       Flicker remembered.  It was time to use what she was good at to help people again.             Yesterday had been a test run, logging bio-telemetry and mind coordination to the Database.  Today was Flicker's first try at going 'on duty' since recovering from Speedtest.         She followed Stella's guidelines.  It was easiest to forestall self-deception at a beginning.  Flicker had fallen into a form of metric myopia in the months before Hermes' attack.  A variation of what Doc called 'the tyranny of the easy to measure.'  She had sought to maximize a number, a measure of lives saved.  Because it was clear, when her judgement was hazy and her connection to humanity felt distant.  But it wasn't 'lives saved'.  It was, at best, clearly attributable potential lives saved in the immediate aftermath of action, as estimated by the Database.  And it undervalued anything hard to quantify.       She'd abdicated her judgement.  The numbers had become the purpose.       There probably wouldn't be any 'lives saved' today.  But that wasn't the point.  She'd had the Database sift through lower priority, less well-characterized problems, to see what she'd been missing.       The mudslide on the slope in Borneo might have come today, or tomorrow, or next week.  It was coming, there was too much rain for it not to.  It might have reached the village, or not.  The villagers might have evacuated in time, or not.  But now they wouldn't have to.  Flicker moved it sideways instead of down, to an area without people.  Some heard thunder, or saw a spray of earth and vegetation arcing high--but not towards them.       Twenty minutes of earth moving, a shower back home, and back to reassessment.  It was a start.  And it didn't require her to talk to anyone or contribute to burnout, so she could keep going for a while longer.       Flicker cleared rockslide blockages in the Andes mountains, present and threatened, for another ten minutes.  Then dealt with a few other hazards in remote areas in South America.  Which wasn't well covered by superhero response.  The initial data quality was usually very low.  But so what?  She could always run and look.       And then the first hints of something odd had shown up on satellite scans, the Database had noticed, and Flicker ran and looked--and found giant ants emerging from a fringe of Amazon rainforest.       Giant bugs kept recurring.  Interdimensional 'outsider' intrusions were far more common than most people realized, but the vast majority of them were unable to overcome the more than three-billion-year adaptive advantage of Earth life and promptly got eaten.  If this happened on land, the growth impetus that made many invaders a potential threat was usually absorbed by microorganisms, fungi, and plants.  And bugs, who were typically the first link of the food chain that was really good at moving.       So they could eat, and grow, and move, and eat more, until--if the initial intrusion was large enough--someone finally noticed.  Or they succumbed on their own.  The effects of the square-cube law could be ameliorated with alien energy, but past a certain size, that was hard to sustain.       Ants were good at foraging, calling friends, sharing food, and spreading out with new size and vigor.  A lot at once was only to be expected.       A few locals had spotted them, noped out, and concentrated on getting themselves and their animals to safety.  The ants were about the size of cars, and no longer very fast--they were too big for their body proportions to be efficient at moving anymore.  A few had paused to chew on crops, but most of them were looking for something tastier.  Or at least meatier.  They needed to be stopped.       The familiarity was almost a relief--but it did come with a warning.  Best find the start, to be sure the threat was just ants.       Into the jungle, down a narrowing swath of disruption that eventually ended in a pool of churned mud.  It was still being picked over by scavengers, but no longer seething with extradimensional anything.  Perhaps a day or two old?  But there were no other large outbreaks of gigantism.  The local fauna were already taking care of stragglers who had grown too large for their niches.  Flicker passed a jaguar eating the remains of an oversized but still clearly manageable frog.  And she could see the signs of progressive dilution; the jaguar might get a slight boost, but not enough to be a problem before it faded.       Back to the ants.  And a local soil and drainage map from the Database.       The remains of the ants would be soon be good fertilizer.  And safe, as long as the concentration in any one spot didn't get too high.  But they were too big to move by hand without breaking.  So it was time for entrainment--pulling ants with the wind of her passage.  Up and down, back and forth--running slowly for her, but not trying to limit drag.  Air moved in response, and oversized insects tumbled in her wake.  She scattered them widely.       And then...  "Don't punch anything living" was the rule, but there was an exception.  Antenna quivered above her as she stopped between the open mandibles of the first ant.       Sorry, foragers.  You were never going to make it back to a colony anyways.       Her palm strike sent a shockwave through the ant, and a spray of ex-ant outward.  A widely distributed mess over the surrounding landscape was actually desirable here.  Still, she pulled her punches; she didn't want fireballs.  Hand chops and more blasts of scooped air, together with the liquefying effect of Flicker's inertial damping field, helped her manage the spread.       A few distant figures watched giant ants being turned into goo over their fields and pastures.  Which should be bad tasting enough to avoid problems with livestock until it decayed, but a concentration map would go into the Database notice sent out to the locals--they would know their own fields and animals best.  The Database would keep monitoring for problems until any danger was past.       Ants finished, she slowed down a little away from the nearest group.  She knew hardly any Portuguese, so she used her visor to check her translation.  Her accent was awful, so she settled for saying "They're gone," and a wave of a still-goopy hand.  She acknowledged the Database advisory that she was now over her duty time limit for the first day and headed home.       Her shower matched the one at Doc's HQ, with a customized array of converted waterjet cutters and a selection of decontamination options.  It quickly stripped away the remaining layer of plasma-deposited bug juice.  She then switched it to regular shower mode to help her mind return the rest of the way from 'on duty'.  That took a while.  Habits were stubborn things.       Dried and dressed, she logged her impressions, and looked at her bio-telemetry and reaction analysis with the Database for a bit before formally ending her abbreviated 'workday'.  Not everything had gone smoothly, but it had become a better day--and it was still morning.  It was something.  It was enough, for now.       *****       Stella had a wry smile, a faint twist of the mouth that found humor in a less-than-ideal world.  "I'm not well-qualified to advise you about memory," she said, "because no one is.  I'm doing it because your Database integrity AI doesn't think there's anyone better.  And neither does Doc."       "You have been helping me with my emotional reactions," said Flicker.       "I've avoided triggering any obvious disasters, and you've felt subjectively better.  Whether that is actually helping...  well, we may suddenly find out the answer is 'not enough'."       They were at Stella's office for another session.  It was, if not a comforting place, at least familiar.  It did not add to the inherent stress of a session, which was probably the best Flicker could expect.  Protocols had been set and were being followed, and snacks and beverages were at hand.  Elements of a basic social ritual, which did help, regardless of Stella's current pessimism.       "Well, I think we've been making progress," said Flicker.  "Is there some new reason for you to doubt that?"       "The restrictions on a considerable amount of Database material were lifted for me at the end of last week, in response to your request.  I've been thinking about the implications.  Your AI assistant, Vizier, can speak directly to me in ways the main Database AIs can't, because it doesn't have full access.  That allows it more latitude for speculation and personal advocacy."       Stella looked out through the force screen over the sliding doors to the patio.  "I cultivate an image of implacability because it is useful for my work.  But I'm not infallible."  Another wry smile.  "I have the scars to prove it."       "You're who I've got."       "Yes.  And I will recommend precautions, some of which you will likely find unpleasant, to attempt to limit the damage from mistakes and unforeseen events.  You don't have to follow them.  Many will probably turn out not to have been needed.  But it's part of my best work, and this is a useful time to remind you again.  Do you understand?"       "...yeah."       "An important distinction before we start.  You have an assortment of memory-connected issues.  I don't think precise mechanisms are as urgent as dealing with effects.  We don't want to ease one problem only to aggravate several others.  Your new concern--that your memories may not precisely correspond to past events in this world--does not matter for how I intend to begin today."       "Um.  I think what's actually true does matter a bit."       "Yes, it does."  Another smile.  "But we aren't sitting here together for exterior facts--you have the Database for those.  I'm here to hear and see you talk about what you remember, what has shaped you, what matters to you, how you feel and react, and how it affects you.  And listening to and watching me, my voice and body language and pacing, as I shape my advice for you--talking to another live, flesh and blood person--should help you.  Both in putting your old memories in context, and eventually with some of your other issues."       Stella glanced at her computer display before continuing.  "You intend to use memory compartmentalization before 'correcting' memories using the Database.  That's understandable, and also hazardous.  I believe some of your existing issues are already complicated by memory compartmentalization.  That doesn't mean it's bad.  Some is unavoidable, given your two-part mind, and it's necessary for managing PTSD.  But it has side effects.  I want a better baseline of where you are now before you start anything new.  Memories aren't static--they shift as you recall and relate them.  Do you understand the importance of treating Database records of personally relevant events as potentially fallible as well as incomplete?"       "Yes," said Flicker.  "I've been using the Database for memory backups, but there's no guarantee that anything before my return after Speedtest is still compatible with my speed mind."       "It's more general than that.  You have some reductive assumptions about memory that may be a problem.  May be.  My research has taught me to beware of most generalizations.  Now.  I want you to review certain of your memories for me, starting from the beginning.  That doesn't mean we're starting from scratch.  You've used the resources you had, and are by no means unskilled.  Just the fact that you are currently functional is a remarkable accomplishment.  But that means many of your current problems are subtle, tricky, or tough."       "Because I've already fixed the easy stuff," said Flicker.       A smile.  "At least what you thought was easy."       "...and thought was fixed.  I get it.  So what do you mean by the beginning?  My first memories?"       "Earlier than that.  Start with your arrival on Earth."       "All right, but I got a lot of this third or fourth hand.  I cannot currently access any coherent memories before I was nine."       "I know," said Stella, "But your childhood is important enough to you that even indirect information about it shaped who you are today."       "Okay."       Flicker took a deep breath before starting.  "I was dropped off at that first orphanage in early May of 1997 by some guy.  He was probably an extradimensional entity, and possibly the same guy who arranged payment, checked back on me a few times, and set up my later transfer, but there's no proof or direct evidence of that.  He said that I was born on the first day of spring in the previous year, which would have made me just over a year old.  That matched how I looked and was plausibly consistent with the fact that I could feed myself.  He didn't say where I was born, who the parents were, or provide any surviving documentation, and there are no remaining findable witnesses.       "My birth date was recorded as March 20, 1996--which would make me 16 now--but no paperwork was filed with the state.  The surviving workers at that orphanage remember me by the nickname "Chirpy," after the only vocalization anyone heard me make.  I wasn't yet consciously controlling my speed changes, which cut sounds short.  But they do remember me--as creepily silent most of the time.  I was believed to be haunted or psychic.  No one considered that I might have superspeed and very little awareness of my environment.  Database thinks one of the people who died might have thought I just had hearing trouble and tried to teach me to read.  I apparently picked up more later, because I knew how to read--and even write a little--when my memories start."       Flicker looked down.  "In 2002, that orphanage burned down, and all local records about me were lost.  The details of that fire are still the subject of legal disputes and there's been a long running battle between the surviving relatives of three workers who died in the fire and an insurance company.  The place was a firetrap, records were definitely altered, at least two people died suspiciously after the fire, and the relatives deserve to and probably eventually will win.  The cause of the fire might have been arson.  It also might have been me, based on some models I ran a couple of years ago.  It would be very easy for me to start fires by oblivious fast movement in a wooden structure filled with flammables.  But I have no memory of it.       "Anyway, I was transferred to another orphanage in a different state.  Where there was systematic fraud.  And they now had a live girl with no records--me--who was still being paid for off the books by someone, and a dead girl who they hadn't reported dead and didn't want to because they'd stop getting money.  So they altered records to make it look like I was her.  She was at least a year younger, but as long as no one challenged it or compared things, they were fine."       Flicker smiled briefly.  "Then someone tipped off Gumshoe about the fraud, and he started investigating.  He found the orphanage I was at, and ended up in a confrontation with the director. I apparently came to find out what the commotion was about, and the director did something really stupid.  It's not clear whether he tried to use me as a hostage or just a shield, but I didn't like it.  I killed him."       Flicker shook her head.  "I don't like talking about it because people ask how I felt.  I don't remember.  My emotions didn't reliably connect to memories for a while, and my very first clear memory is watching his head explode.  I don't know whether I entropy dumped to his head or just waved my hand or both, but I wanted him gone, so bam, dead.  I do remember Gumshoe just looking at me for a little bit, then doing something at his wrist, and a little while later I met the Volunteer.  And my life started getting better.  I began remembering things regularly, though it took a while to start putting them in order.  This was 2005."       Stella studied her for a moment.  "How much of your anger over the age issue originated with the identity fraud?"       "A lot.  There was so much I wanted to know, and the altered records kept obstructing everything.  And Gumshoe died before I could talk coherently, so I never got to ask him about a lot of things.  I obviously wasn't the girl I was listed as, but the state didn't have any other birth date for their records so they kept using hers.  That made me mad because here were official people--people who were supposed to help--insisting on using information they knew was wrong."       "That took forever to fix, partly because everyone who could testify that I couldn't possibly be as young as that was already involved in the lawsuits over the fire.  Or wasn't talking to anyone because of them.  And no one else cared."  Flicker paused, then corrected herself.  "Okay, no, that's not fair.  Doc did care, but he didn't want to make a fuss at the time because it could have complicated my adoption or my citizenship--not having a birth certificate or any human witnesses to your birth is a pain, legally."       "Indeed.  And not that uncommon a problem," said Stella.       "Anyway, finally I filed a lawsuit," said Flicker.  "And got it almost settled, I thought--and then that stupid insurance company intervened, because some arcane legal thing meant my settlement would make them more likely to lose the lawsuit against them over the fire.  I didn't handle it well.  But Francine--she was my lawyer too by then, not just Doc's--told me that if I gave her time, she would make the insurance company executives, their board of directors, and the stockholders of their parent company regret that intervention thoroughly.  And late last year, she finally won the last appeal of the primary suit.  I'm 16.  But some places don't accept that yet, so Francine's team is still busy."       "I see," said Stella.  "It's clear you're still very emotionally invested in the details.  Is that something you're willing to elaborate on?"       Flicker took a long breath.  "I try to compartmentalize it so I don't keep getting angry again.  But yeah.  I hope you're ready for some ranting."       Stella smiled.  "That's fine."       "Okay.  The fraud at the second orphanage was already a mess, intertwined with several other messes, but sorting it out in one place wasn't enough.  Oh, no..."       Time passed.  At some point Flicker got up and started pacing.       "...and so I was like 'Okay, bonehead, maybe they won't charge you with accessory after the fact to fraud, but I'm also sole director of a corporation to which I've leased the rights to my personal image, and the value of that in interstate commerce is affected by my legal age in your state.  I have money, good lawyers, standing, and a grudge over something you could have avoided for free just by not being a jerk about it'.  But I have to do that in every state that decides to make an issue out of refusing to change my age in their records without a conventional birth certificate.  And a lot of them are fighting it.  So it's still not over.  But at least now I'm legally sixteen for federal and international purposes, in my home state, and in Pennsylvania, where Journeyman lives.  But I've been trying to get this crap fixed since I was twelve, and I'm so sick of it."       "Understandable," said Stella.  "And it's time we take a break, I think."       *****       Stella was getting better at timing the session breaks so Flicker was able to keep a comfortable safety margin.  There was probably something about not having speed that made the psychology of pacing easier to judge.  There were so many indirect effects.       "How did your morning patrol go?" asked Stella, after they started lunch.  "The Database informed me that your stress levels stayed encouragingly low.  But giant ants were mentioned."       "Yeah, they're fertilizer in rural Brazil now.  No one was hurt.  And the rest was just clearance work--the kind of thing the Volunteer is better at, but I can manage.  Didn't feel like much, but it was better than nothing."  Flicker had another spoonful of the soup.  "This is really good soup.  What is it?"       "It's egg drop soup from a local place," said Stella.  "Comfort food.  I like it when I'm recovering from something stressful or debilitating."       "Heh."  Flicker shook her head.  "You keep helping in different ways than I expect you to help."       "Expectations have always been a bit of a mixed bag for me.  On that note, you had a question about my background that you've been very patient about."       "Well, yeah.  It seems kind of silly now, but the Database verified you received your doctorate when you were 17," said Flicker, "but said the university was prevented by a non-disclosure agreement from revealing anything but the title of your thesis.  Which I thought was weird."       "They tried to revoke my doctorate.  After some discussion, they settled," said Stella.  "But the administration never actually had a copy.  The NDA was part of the settlement.  Not coincidentally, they also settled a suit from a group of students and former students at the same time.  People used to wonder why I chose that university and thesis committee.  But what happened to them was part of the point."       "What was 'Alternate Means of Addressing Harmful Behavior Patterns in Entrenched Power Structures' about, anyway?"       "The title gets the point across.  The specific methods were of limited generality and don't scale well.  It was a proof of concept, but there would be issues with it becoming widely accessible."       "I'm still curious."       "I know.  But the NDA was useful to me and still helps protect the former students.  The Database and I both respect it.  If there were a particular threat to one of them that you needed to deal with, then the Database would reveal appropriate information.  There currently isn't."       "I guess... that's good.  Was that your goal?"       "One of them.  The other two were to get a doctorate quickly, and establish a reputation.  Anyone investigating my qualifications in more detail would have no trouble establishing that whatever my methods actually were, they worked:  Nothing else bad happened to the students.  And nothing good to the thesis committee or the administration."       "Oh."       *****       Another hour of indirect memory tests, mostly boring.  But Stella said boring was good; anything exciting here would mean an unexpected problem, and they had plenty of expected ones already.  The one interesting part was a reframing of something Flicker had known for a long time.       "No," said Stella, studying her display.  "I don't think you react any more emotionally to speaking or listening than you do to reading.  Not more than a typical human."       "What do you mean?" said Flicker.  "I've thoroughly documented it."       A smile from Stella.  "You weren't measuring what you thought you were measuring.  You have to restrict your subjective speed to talk and listen, which requires effort by your speed mind.  And you use the ability to freely speed up and consult the Database for several quite effective calming strategies that are less disruptive to reading than listening.  So your coping works better.  After you account for that, the base emotional effect is the same."       Flicker studied the graphs and supporting information the Database provided.  The conclusions were consistent.       "Huh.  I remember interactive things way more emotionally, though."       "You appear to anchor social memories to emotional impact, consolidating out your calming measures, while your reading memories get subsumed in your reaction to what you learned.  So, among other things, your estimates of emotional leakage from compartmentalized memories will be poorly calibrated."       "Oof.  Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to watch out for that."       *****       "We're stopping already?" said Flicker.  "I could keep going--we're making progress, Database says I'm Green, and I still feel fine."       That wry smile.  "Yes, and I'd prefer you stay that way.  You'll have homework.  I want you to summarize your emotional impressions from your pre-sleep memory assimilation, so we can compare with your memories later."       "Huh.  Do you think there will be discrepancies?"       "I don't know.  But if there are, we want to know about them; that's why I'm asking.  We cannot take for granted that anything about your sleep, learning, or memory processing is the same as a typical human."       "Yeah, okay.  Do you want me to record anything else?"       "Not tonight.  I don't want to overload you by trying too many things at once."       Flicker looked down.  "Well, here's an emotional impression already.  That's the opposite of my preferred approach.  I don't like leaving known problems.  I'd much rather solve everything, then recover.  I already know that makes it easier for me to sleep."       "Yes, and you've done a very good job of solving a wide variety of problems where that attitude is helpful.  It's very effective.  Speed is your hammer."       "But not all my problems are nails."       "Exactly."       Flicker sighed.  "Well, okay, then.  I guess this is why I needed you.  You're good at helping."       A raised eyebrow.  "I'm not, particularly.  What I am good at is convincing people to listen who otherwise wouldn't."       "...and that's a problem I have that definitely isn't a nail."       Another smile.       "Okay.  Talk to you later.  And Stella?  Thank you."       "You're welcome."

Next:

|CHALLENGE| M| 1|

SMUT/ANGST/HUMOR-ISH

**SUGAR DADDY AU WITH A SLIGHT TWIST***

CEO HOSEOK X MATCHMAKER OC

Hoseoks’s kinda an entitled little shit

The OC is sassy AF...his mother would hate her..so she’s perfect!

He’s also smooth,and fine AF and he knows it...but so is she!

There’s not much of an age difference there both in there mid-late 20’s

Hoseok is first-generation Korean Amerian BTW New York-born and raised 

Jimin is Hoseok’s assistant so he will pop in and out of this

5K

ABOUT- Hoseok is currently CEO of “Diamond Supply” a company within “Carbon Black INC“ which is a multi BILLION dollar company founded by Hoseok’s family and four others! The current CEO is Hoshi, which is not Hoseok’s father he’s actually the VP. Hoshi,doesn't have children and he needs to step down from his position. So over the next 6 months, there will be almost like an election period if you will, and the13 board members within the company will be tracking all four of the candidate's business and social stats with a fine-tooth comb. Prior to voting the next heir into his position as CEO of “Carbon Black Inc”!

That’s where Y/N comes in ...Hoseok has everything working in his favor expect the” Imagine” or at least the type that would appease there more “traditional” investors and board members. Y/N who works as a recruiter for Y.G.K. was initially hired to find him a “Sugar Baby” ! Someone to stand by his side and look pretty for the next 6 months to give him a more.”Settled down” image….Initially, that was the plan…..

WARNINGS: There’s just a lot of teasing and sexual tension in this one, light daddy kink reference, Hoseok is a whole dom,  it’s so clear there fucking next chapter lol…. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimins Face alone already had you ready to barge in there before you wasted anymore of you clients time! Damn near throwing the phone at you , not even bothering to say hello in the process! You still couldn’t understand what the issue was, honestly, this was one of the simplest charts you’ve ever had, besides how obnoxiously specific the physical traits were ! It was 80% superficial, personality wise they didn't ask for much!  Just Someone who could take direction well,non-confrontational...submissive is actually what they noted ! Essentially a woman to say yes sir with no questions asked ,damn near wanting a puppet you could feed a script to! That’s exactly who she was ...basically a pretty cockatoo so why isn't this working?!

Yes, yes  you were eavesdropping on your clients “Interview”, and you had no shame,actually, this was Jimin’s idea he was just as annoyed by this shit as you where, the two of you had been going back and forth for damn near a month now! Practically besties at this point! Ariel, the girl currently sitting in Hoseok Jung’s office would be your fourth recruit. He’s rejected three! THREE! You've never had this happen...EVER..and you just can’t wrap your head around it, initially you thought he’d be your easiest client to place. He’s younger than most, richer than most..and more importantly finer than most, whoever landed this job wouldn't have to fake a damn thing! Yet, none of your picks worked..the last girl lasted 12 days...if the bitch would've just made it 2 more you would've gotten your bonus! Which meant you could have finally walked out of YSL, with your new crossbody you've been eyeing for the past 2 months! 

But no such luck, so here you were, sitting next to Jimin, eavesdropping praying for the best, honestly, things where going well..for all of, oh I don't know 5 minutes “Did she really just say her favorite Korean dish was sushi!?” Jimin’s eyes cut in your direction and you literally can’t even at this point. Placing your index and middle finger around the bridge of your nose because suddenly you had the worst headache of your life! “Lodrt” 

“Oh fuck meeeee” Whined from your lips in nothing but defeat, she couldn’t handle him if her life depended on it! Hoseok was far too quick, witty,sarcastic, charming from what you could tell, he didn't seem rude but you could tell he was very..intellectual...she wasn’t. She was young, nothing but arm candy, and he was eating her alive! Dropping your head down on the desk with a long sigh..already giving up, the feeling of Jimin’s hand soothing your shoulder as if he already knew...she was done! Back to the drawing board for the fifth time! 

It wasn’t even a full 10 second before you heard his door creek open, insitally shuffling behind a filing cabinet, as you didnt want to hurt her pride by letting her no you came! I mean, technically it’s not her fault, you don’t want your girls to fake something there not, the reason you get such high reviews is one of your main focus..outside of the aesthetic is the genuine compatibility! Clearly she and the other 3 girls didn't have it, but why couldn’t you read that prior to sending them? This is what you got paid to do, and your typically damn good at it, why wasn’t his chart giving you what you needed to properly satisfy him!?

“Fuck it…” Ripped from your throat as you sauntered into his office once you observed her step into the elevator, Jimin didn't even attempt to stop you. A smug smirk tugging on the corner of his lips as he awaited the results..the glint in his eyes indicating he already knew how this would play out! “Hoseok! We need to talk!” Blurted from your lips as you welcomed yourself into his office, as if you’ve known him for years, closing the door behind you, tossing your bag on his chasie. Hoseok didn't speak initially instead he just took his time,taking you in from head to toe, somewhat impressed actually. It’s not every day someone just barges into his office as if they own the place..now the real question is..who the hell are you?!

There was suddenly a look of nothing but pure mischief dancing along Hoseok's face as he observed you, only you were far too focused on your little spiel running through your head at the moment to notice! Swaying in his direction, in your oversized black blazer that you were currently wearing as a dress. Legs on full display as a pair of black strappy Giuseppe heels laced your feet, just enough cleavage peeking between the lapels to have him curious! Big vintage Chanel earrings dangle from your ears as you welcomed yourself to take a seat in front of his desk.The sweet, yet slightly husky scent of your perfume grace his nose, delicately crossing your legs, reclining into your seat.

“I’m sorry, would you prefer I call you Mr.Jung instead?” Cocking your head to the side slightly, the warm somewhat inviting tenor more than evident in our voice as you batted your lashes in his direction!, Still well aware of the power you possess in a situation like this and you weren’t afraid to use it in your favor! Hoseok was intrigued it didn't matter if it was solely physical, you had his undivided attention... and you planned to spend it wisely! 

A low chuckle rumpled in his chest as he took his own set, dusting his fingers through his dark mane of hair, that sat tousled on top of his head. Hoseok, had a slight undercut, which was lined to perfection..the top long enough where if he parted it to the middle you almost wouldn't know how nicely his sides where faded. The outline of his sideburns framed his disgustingly chiseled jaw to the Tee! A couple not so modest diamonds dusted his ears, fanning against his caramelized complexion. A burgundy paisley dress shirt, laid along his skin caressing every muscle on his body perfectly. Lips naturally pouty, forming almost a heart at their peak, sitting at the perfect shade of pink! 

“Hoseok, Mr.Jung is my father...and you are?” Brow quirked in curiosity, the base in his voice catching you off guard, so was his avid eye contact… but you were smoother than that, this wasn’t your first rodeo!

“I’m Y/N...the recruiter for Y.G.K-”

There was a dry scoff that left his lips at that, nothing subtle about the current disposition he had towards you and to be fair you couldn't blame him so you bit your tongue! “ I stopped in to see what the issue was, I've never had to place more than one girl...ever! Yet with you...she was my fourth..I just needed to see for myself where the disconnect was coming from…”

A low hum leaving his lips at that, appearing almost amused as he reclined in his seat  “And? Are you just here to waste more of my time or are you actually going to tell me what the issue is?” Flailing his hand in the air as if he’s already lost all patience for this conversation. The bite more than evident in his voice,clearly Hoseok’s a grade A smartass but again,in this situation you understood. So inteased of getting an attitude you took a deep breath..and answered the question nevertheless.

“Your charts the problem which is essentially my lifeline! I overheard part of the conversation with Ariel and your nothing like your stats, I'm assuming that’s probably your CEO persona... but not the person you are behind closed doors.  Which doesn't help me because my goal is to match you with someone who can handle the real you!” 

The low hum that fell from his lips almost had you hopeful, feeling as if he was starting to ease up a little and actually hear you out. You really where damn good at your job in this instance you were just fed bad information! “Hmm, I'm glad it took all of a month for us to realize this but yes, I agree with the fact that my “chart” as you like to call it was clearly total bullshit, and a waste of my time. You would have done better calling me instead of whatever generic Buzzfeed esque pick your match quiz you had us submit!” 

God he’s really, really, testing every negative ounce of patience running through your body, you could literally feel your jaw twitching “I wouldn’t say the questionnaire is the issue..more so the way it was filled out. It’s meant to be a tool to work in your favor, but you have to make it work” Pausing to lock your eyes with his, yet you knew what you were doing, you gaze was taunting, not angry, playfully challenging him at this point.  “I’m not here to argue, I'm here to sasifty…. so let me fix this.. I know your deal came with a specific deadline, If I’m not mistaken, we still have about a week left, that’s more than enough time for me to find you what you actually need!” 

An almost offensively loud groan left his lips at that, eyes rolling to the back of his head, the blatant disrespect had your nose scrunching into your face, brows furrowed “Excuse me? What do you mean “Mmmm”!?  I told you-” Now you were losing your patience..he’s officially pushed all of 2 of your buttons,and it took everything in you not to call him out of his name at this point! How dare he not take some accountability for the lack of effort he put into his personality chart even when you emphasize how important it is! Is he aware how much of YOUR times he;s wasted? The fact that you could’ve had these girls secured with other clients instead of also wasting there time!? No because all his spoiled ass can think about his himself! 

“Where the hell do you get off getting an attitude with me Y/N? None of this is my fault, I hired you because I didn't want to be involved,I have enough on my plate! We've been through damn near 20 pretty faces and-”

“Four! Hoseok, four!” The base suddenly hit your throat, you were starting to get defensive voice elevating ever so slightly “And again, did we not just establish that you, or your assistant or WHOEVER, screwed up your chart to begin with!? So how the hell-’

“Ohh so now we're playing the blame game? Reallll mature....Great save , oh I fucked up so let me blame my client, great customer service with that one!” The chuckle that left is throat was meant to sound taunting and it really fucking worked!

“It’s not the blame game, I’m just asking for a second chance to actually help you, you spoilt asshole! You just sat here and admitted you chart was total bullshit!” Abruptly rising from your chair, eyes narrowing in his direction, a second away from completely losing your shit  before you caught yourself! Yet, oddly enough so far he didn't even seem remotely fazed by your current disposition! 

“I have every right to be an asshole right now Y/N why the hell should I even trust you?! You knew going into this that ...we had a damn deadline and now we're damn near grazing it with the tip of our tongues…with zero results!” Now it was Hosoeks turn to loose his composure,voice dropping what felt like an entire octave suddenly rough and gritty the more he spoke. Which was actually really sexy but ...we’re going to try and ignore that for the time being! 

“What about that would make me want to even consider giving you another chance? Am I missing the part where you actually did what you were hired to do orrrr??”

“Oh for fucks sake, that's not my damn fault!” Yup, and there it goes again, all your self control ...Unintentionally stomping your foot against the floor as if you were almost having a temper tantrum.

“Awww, is baby whining now? Hmm? Is that your new tactic to try and get your way with me? ” Brow quirked in amusement, God you wanted to smack that smirk off his face. His tone was nothing short of condescending, though you found yourself more pissed at how good “Baby” sounds rolling off his tongue! Regardless of the context

“No I’m bitching which clearly you know a lot about since that’s all you've been doing since I got in here!!!” There was a sudden pause,a long one it was almost nauseating and it had you questioning if you'd finally crossed a line by saying that. You couldn't read the expression on his face right now, and that kinda scared you, so instead of just sitting in silence...

“ I place people based on the information I’m given, clearly we've never met so maybe if you actually put what you actually wanted we wouldn't have this damn issue to begin with! I gave you shallow and passive because that’s what you chart said you wanted.” Everything that radiated off your body was mounds calmer at this point, tone slightly tranquil “Your running out of time, and you need my help, I’m sorry we got off to a rocky start okay? Just... ...let.Me.Do.My.Job…”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to do this entire time, do you think I want to sit here and play “ Are you smarter than a fifth grader” with these recruits? ! I didn't want to deal with this shit!I don't have time to deal with this shit!”  Throwing his solid gold pen across the desk, sliding back in his seat to hastily ruffle his fingers through his hair. To be honest it wasn’t Hoseok’s intentions to keep bantering back and forth like this, he was just stressed! He didn’t want to go this route to begin with so it’s not helping that it’s not flowing smoothly! 

“Great so it’s settled, you give me 48 hours and I'll find you perfect counterpart” Instantly turning around to head for your bag and see yourself out before the two of you were at each other's throats again. 

“No.”

Stopping dead in your tracks, whipping your neck around so fast it almost looked painful!

 “What do you mean no!?” Why, why won’t he just let this go!?

“N.O. You CAN help but in a different way….” Rising from his seat slowly pouring himself a glass of Scotch which he inhaled before it even fully settled at the bottom of the glass. 

Brow arched in annoyance and curiosity 

“Clearly when this is left in your hands I get malibu barbie with an I.Q of negative six...so let me pick….”

“I- fuck, whatever, fine, I’ll send you my roster and-” Fine sure, why not...if that kept him happy and had you signing a contract and hopefully reciving your bouns for landing him a susscessful recruit then sure! Pick all damn day Hoseok! 

“I don't’ need it…”

“What?! I thought you wanted to pick?” 

“  I don’t want your damn roster, if you care so much about redeeming yourself and actually doing what I paid you to do...then give me your best player…”

“That was my plan but you just said you didn't want me to pick.” Geunilly confused at this point, the slight attitude wasn’t even intentional. 

“You can, as long as we're on the same page..”

“Which is what Hoseok? What?” Mentally exhausted was an understatement, if your pride wasn’t in the way you’d just leave...

“You.” The word left his lips so calmly it almost went over your head! 

“If you want the deal then the Y.G.K. recruit I want is you...or theres no deal…I don’t have time for these rookies you keep sending my way”  You screamed everything his mother would hate and he fucking loved it, it also didin’t hurt that you were fun to look at. You had one hell of a backbone, your whitty, determined,sassy ...everything he would've put on his chart if he actually made it himself! You haven’t taken your foot off his throat since you’ve walked in, Hosoek was always one for a good challenge, makes the word “Daddy” sound even better when it rolls off your tongue! 

“What!? I’m not even up for hire, I’m a recruiter Hoseok, not a damn sugar baby! You can’t just snap your fingers and think I’m hired” Arms crossed tight against your chest, though...the idea was far more tempting than you let on  you’ve damn sure missed this. 

“No disrespect, but for you to be a recruiter..that probably means you’d have to have some prior experience right? “ Brow quirked at the implied question that he already knew the answer to “I don’t care how rich someone is...there not just buying Snakeskin Hermes bags for any “average” woman now are they?!”Tone blatantly challenging you as his head flicked over to your bag that set on the leather chaise diagonal from him.

“Trust me baby, it didn't go over my head the way you finessed your way in here like you owned the place , you know what you have working for you and your damn good at using it in your favor! I’m not here to judge, I finesse millions out of people all damn day...weather it be with my skill or my charm, either way, I'm closing deals and that’s all that matters!” I wonder if Hoseok could also tell how weak your knees were getting the more he called you “Baby”! More importantly how caught off guard you were for him calling you out on your shit!

“I’m retired…” Fell from your lips, it was all you could think of your mind was frazzled right now, but it was a true statement, you had not been on that side of the fence in almost 2 years! 

“Yeah and so was Jay Z and yet we got a good 4 albums and a tour after that so what’s your point!?” 

“My point-”

“Name your price.”

“Excuse-” 

“Your.Price.Y/N...Name.it...Tell daddy what you want” Smug, nothing but smug, Hoseok didn't even try to be discreet, he was living for his!

“$150K signing bonus off rip…” Thatta girl! Hosoek had you tripping over yourself for a moment, but the minute he said that he flipped a switch! 

You didin’t even know where that number came from..it was just like your body reacted on autopilot...he may be a total entitled smartass..but your not a damn fool. He’s right you got that bag because you are good at what you do, these sugardaddie’s aren't the only ones who know how to work there magic and get what they want. Your charm was deadly when need be, it takes a special kinda persona to finaness the “system” the way you do...or did I guess I should say! He wanted a price well...there ya go! 

The smirk that danced up his face was just as sexy as it was offensive “Right, so essentially what I just made on this deal I signed off on?” Cocking his head to the side slightly, tongue playing at the corner of his mouth “Done.” He was so nonchalant about this it was almost comical, you would have sworn you asked for a Big Mac or something! Tossing the contract aside as if it didn't mean shit, because it didn't you knew Hoseok's net worth! 

“I- you...what!? ” Did he really just agree that fast!? After you just yelled at him, and cussed him out!? 

Clearly he found your state of shock amusing a gritty chuckle rumbling in his chest as he poured himself another drink. “Don’t act surprised, you know you aren’t used to hearing the word no, which I can appreciate because neither am I!” 

“Why!? Why me, you don’t know shit about me, you could’ve easily had Ariel, or anybody else and none of them would have even cost you a fraction of that price!  Why are you so willing to pay me whatever the hell I want even after I failed to place someone else in the position?”Slowly sauntering over in his direction until you were so damn close to him your eyelashes could almost flutter against each other. “ And I dare you to tell me that your any different than any other man I've dealt with in you position. That your reasoning runs  ....deeper than you wanting to bend me over this damn desk” God, his lips were a problem, his damn jawline was a problem, why the hell did you get this close again!?

He didn’t respond right away, letting his eyes trace over every element on your face, and it took everything in you to pretend you knees weren’t caving in. Once his eyes landed on our lips, licking his in the process. Leaning forward, bracing his weight on the desk, hands resting on either side of you body as he hovered over you. Yet your stance never faltered he was challenging you ...AGAIN and There was no way in hell you’d show how consumed you were! Not when it was your decision to invade his personal space to begin with! The scent from his colgen filling your nose, having to physically remind yourself not to moan….. Hosoek knew exactly what he was doing, lips sitting slightly ajar, teasing you to arch up ever so slightly! You could damn near taste the liquor on his tongue...

“I’m a man, more importantly a man with damn good taste!  So yes, the idea of having you face down ass up sounds, sinfully appealing” Fuck your throat was dry as hell right now…”But no that’s not why I’m offering. Your not blind, clearly I dont need to pay for sex, I’m not some 60 year old man with a saggy ballsack so I’ll be frank with you! The contract has a deadline because so do I…” Now we're finally getting somewhere...

 “This was my families idea, hints all the confusion and my very short fuse, they want someone by my side as I embark on a new... Business venture. Clearly you can tell no one you’ve sent can even remotely stacks up to what I require in a partner, fake or not! I failed drama I don’t care how many cameras are in my face..I don’t act! Either I vibe with someone or I don’t..”

“We haven’t vibed Hoseok, we've argued! Since you think you can do my job better than I can...what's your rationale for pairing us together oh wise one!?” Nothing but sass dripped from your tongue at that...and he fucking loved it. The smirk that dance up hid lips said it all. A low hum fell from his lips as he leaned in, even closer, chest thumping so hard you questioned if he could even hear it. Fuck, you really wanted to grab him by the back of the neck and find out how good he tastes! 

“You tell me ...tell me what I need…” Something about his delivery had heat pooling between your thighs, voice getting dangerously low, and so where his eyes …”Since my charts fucked and your claiming that’s what screwed you up...tell me what I actually need…”

Clearing your throat slightly, trying to pull your shit together yet you didn't pull back from him, you didn't want to...you liked the intensity! If you were smart you’d disregard his question but, you felt like you needed to prove yourself….. 

“Someone to stimulate, and balance you out you mentally...” Purred from your lips earning a hum of approval, which , followed behind and confirmed every other bullet point …

“Someone well dressed..”

“Hmm…” - fuck he really needs to stop doing that

“ Cultured..”

“Mmmhmm..”

“Whitty..”

“Mmm, keep going…” 

“Quick on her toes, Sar-”  A dramatic sigh leaving your chest at that, eyes rolling to the back of your head more times than  you could count once you realized what he was doing. Hoseok was having you describe yourself, because ideally, you were the type of woman you’d try and set him up with.

The level of smugness that danced along his lips proved he was proud of himself “And you were sayinggg???” Purposely Letting the last syllable roll off his tongue sing song like.

You should've realized this the minute you met him…. Hoseok only needed a “Sugar Baby” for the contrational purouses, the fact that once signed it’s the person's job is to be whatever he needs! That  type of control would allow his family to insure she's adding to whatever “Aesthetic” he needs for this business venture..it was purely about control! That’s the disconnect, his family wanted the pretty faced puppet that they can morph into whoever they wanted. And clearly that's the last quality Hoseok wants in a partner, even a fake one! Now it makes more sense why a man like him..would have even signed up for something like this! 

“I’m sayingggg...EVEN if I considered, and if I did it wouldn't have shit to do with you and everything to do with the money...there would be no contract because I’d get fired! I’m a recruiter Hoseok, I can’t use the information I get to look out for myself, that's the definition of conflict of interest. Once you find a girl we make a contract.. We get a monthly percentage of what you pay per outside of gifts and little bounces..there's no way they wouldn't know and-”

“So we cut Y.G.K out...“In all honesty, you haven't placed a girl yet, I’ll have Jimin write a very nice email, so it doesn't make you look bad. Will just say I’m going to try looking for love on my own or some bullshit! They’ve already made there fee to add me to the roster ...” Letting his gaze pry into yours only to snatch you by the throat “Then, me and you make our own contract...I’ll pay you directly...problem solved…” Hoseok was starting to work his own angle and you hated the knots forming in the pit of your stomach as he changed his entire vocal presentation. It was smoother, husker..slightly breathy..everything it needed to be to get you to say yes, but again you weren’t a rookie, you were still somewhat thinking clearly!

“No, not problem solved..what happens if pictures get out!? I’ve done my research, it’s a part of my job your Korea's resident bad boy..the press love to hate your ass over there! Yeah,granted I go to events that you’d probaly frequent and network or  whatever the fuck you wanna call it! But what happens if someone gets a pic of us in Malta or something!?” 

The slight shrug in arrgrence really didn't help … “See! You don’t stay with one person which is why I’m sure you got sucked into this..the minute were seen together more than twice it’s news! How the hell do I rationalize that!?” There was a sudden growl in your voice and you weren;t sure where it came from, maybe because you were slightly annoyed that the hustler side in you really wanted to say yes. Fuck rational, fuck how this would probaly all blow up...you missed getting paid to look cute! Maybe it was also because you really wanted him to bend you over and fuck the shit out of you on top of this desk…

“Then, will take it as it comes, I know that’s why you asked for a signing bonus..incase that happens and work finds out, or once this contracts over and we go our separate ways...so your not on your ass..your smart!”  A slight smile tugging on your lips because he’s right $150K is about three years pay...at Y.G.K before taxes ...enough where if something happens at least you wouldn't be royally fucked!

There was a beat of silence eyes searching his for all the answers...

“I’ll give you until midnight...if you think there's a recruit in your roster that can actually keep up, I’m open to it. But if not we will be respectfully parting ways with Y.G.K. it’s solely business.  I've actually already paid 2 other companies I just haven't used their services because I was trying to hold out for you...but were getting a little too close for comfort !” Pulling back from you painfully slow and it took everything in you not to chase after those pouty lips of his! 

Instinctively you reached up pulling him back by his silk tie “What are you actually looking for Hoseok?” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t intrigued, especially with the low growl slipped past his lips at the sudden tension pulling along his neck. An amused smirk forming yours “Hmm..someone likes pain I seee….” Tone blatantly flirtatious you licked your lips

“Hmm..someone likes to tease I see...” Mimicking your tone to a tee, you were so stupidly turned on and this was all your fault! The sudden shift wasn’t as discreet as you hoped either “Don’t play if you can't handle it baby…just because I’m younger than probably anyone you’ve delt with...that stll doesn't take the “Daddy” part out of the equation”  Oh fuck you! As if you ever even questioned that for a nanosecond!

“Answer. The.Question Mr. Jung…” Bounce back game sill on point, regardless of how your panties currently felt! 

“You just said it... everything that’s NOT on my chart. I don't want some young bright eyed, bushy tailed girl who will cry everytime I take her to Chanel...or someone I have to order for at every damn restaurant. That's not for me...I dont have the want to desire for that. Like I said I don't have an issue getting laid this contract was never sexual for me it’s a…”Aestheic” if you will…” He was clearly being very selective about how much he told you about this job...which only had you gears turning, creating your own scenarios as we speak.

“I personally didn't want “This” to begin with but if I have to do it, even if it’s only for 6 months..I want it to be with someone I can actually tolerate. “ At least you could respect his honesty…he’s not desperate, nor is he begging, he’s just simply saying he doesn't have problem paying for quality! Especially if it’s going to make his life easier, either way he’s entering a contract that’s going to cost him money, why not pay top dollar for the premium package then?!

“Someone to look good on my arm at events, but also be able to hold her own if a mic gets pointed in her face, someone to stand next to me at board meetings. Attend gallas, charity events, company parties and just look like the, supportive partner that all the other men within my brigade have. And of course the fun part...because none of that shit’s fun, so whoever she is, she deserves to be spoiled.Wined and dined, shopping sprees, spontaneous trips to London, Pars, Spain,  I live multi coastal so that’s always fun! All the perks your use too only I’m not expecting you to fuck me...if it happens... it happens ...”

A low hum leaving your lips at that, gazing up at him through your full set of lashes...“If you keep looking at me like you already want me to bend you over this desk, were going to have some problems…” 

“You sure I actually even really want that?” Trickling your fingers up his chest “As you said, clearly I’m damn good at my job…” A subtle wink flutter in his direction earning a slow nod that essentially read “Touche” 

“True, but your eyes have been pacing between my jawline and my lips the entire time you've been in here…” Reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear and it took everything in you not to lean into the contact. “Now if you excuse me, I have a very tedious conference call to get ready for, get my personal email from Jimin on your way out. Send your picks to me directly and will go from there…”  Swiftly returning his gaze back to the stack of papers on his desk, it’s not even a full 20 seconds before his phone's ringing and Hoseok’s groaning!

“Mr. Zyang, how are you? How’s Linda?” Smiling from ear to ear as if the person on the other end could see him, charm on full blast! Shifting the bottom end of the phone away from his lips so he could whisper “I gotta go, get my number from Jimin, will talk tonight” His eyes were reading a little different right now, they were softer and you were turning into putty! 

A slight smile tugging on your lips as you swayed past him, you could feel his eyes burning straight through as you walked, grabbing your bag off the chaise. Not even giving him the satisfaction of looking back at him before you exited the room. You knew he was waiting for it too, just so damn sure you needed one last look at him, which honestly you did…

Feeling a little more than accomplished that you didn't cave like you thought you would, seeming to remind yourself that at the end of the day..this was solely business! A permanent smile engraved on your cheeks as you closed the door behind you.

“SOOOOOOOOOO!? You were in there long enough! What’s the game plan!?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS HAS BEEN SITTING FOR A WHILE! PART 2 IS HALFWAY DONE..IF THIS GETS ENOUGH LOVE ILL GET IT UP....IF YOU LIKED IT “LIKE IT” COME HIT UP THE ASK...

LOVE YOU GUYS AS ALWAYS,

ROCKI

A soul is an electric force, full of potential energy.

——Can we find souls in unlikely places, and set them into motion?

中古技術 〜 Electric Spirit Seance

#01  Lullaby of a Deserted Hell

From a bird's-eye view, the figures of two sprightly maidens would appear like dolls amidst the surrounding range of artificial mountains, a stunning silvery wasteland.

The taller of the two small-looking girls, Maribel Hearn (Merry) planted her hands on her hips as she surveyed the junk that encircled them in all directions.

   – "I can't believe you managed to convince me to go dumpster-diving.  Is this a step up or down from graverobbing?"

   – "We didn't rob anything from the graveyard.  I definitely want to find something worth taking from here, though."

   – "So this is a step down."

   – "Nah, it's fine.  These are all things that no one wants."

   – "Or things that no one wants to be seen.  Of course, that means…"

   – "It's the perfect place for the Secret Sealing Club!"

The club's current president, Renko Usami, pumped her fist with plenty of good cheer.  Merry smiled back, although she had mixed feelings about calling a land of literal garbage home.

   – "We can't just have normal dates, can we?"

Fortunately, at least, the garbage was not excessively odorous or grimy.  The site was a landfill specifically for electronic waste: frayed wires, boxy television frames, old phone models of all kinds.

The time was just around sunset -- more specifically 7:42 and 33 seconds, according to Renko's discerning eyes.  The mild starlight reflected off of broken LCD screens, making them appear ever so slightly less lifeless.

 #02  Rigid Paradise

   – "What exactly are we looking for...  Let me guess.  Hoping to find some retro videogames?"

   – "I won't lie.  That'd be great."

   – "But finding both a game and the console to go with it is going to be tough."

   – "Did you know, if a company manufactures more games than it can sell, they end up buried underground to get them out of circulation?"

   – "How wasteful.  At least they were given a proper funeral."

   – "The first time this happened was long ago in another country.  Thousands of unsold cartridges...  Just because they weren't popular at the time, now they'll never be played.  I'd love to give them a chance."

   – "Hee-hee, so much for a funeral.  I suppose we're not in the business of letting the dead rest in peace."

In this unique sort of graveyard, the bodies had been piling up for countless years.  Most of the material would never biodegrade, so the mounds kept accumulating, one layer buried under the next.  In fact, despite the oceans rising drastically over recent years, this dumping ground remained unusually high above sea level for the sole reason that its foundation was constantly being reinforced by layers of tightly packed waste.  

Renko, who had taken the precaution to wear pants and gloves on this excursion, knelt down to examine a mess of circuitry at the bottom of a looser heap.  Merry meanwhile nudged the tip of her shoe against the ground, pondering how deep down was the earth.

#03  Poison Body ~ Forsaken Doll

The girl in black and white impatiently murmured the time, for the fourth time that hour, before stretching her back and turning around to check on her partner.

   – "Find anything interesting yet, Merry?"

Merry, who had been spacing out for some while, quickly darted her eyes around for an improvised answer. A glint of light led her gaze to a long, flat cell phone teetering unceremoniously atop of a pile.

   – "This...  Haven't I seen this model in advertisements recently?  How did this already become trash?"

   – "Oh, you know.  Technology becomes out-of-date awfully quickly these days."

   – "Mm.  I'd like to see it as a sign of progress, but…"

   – "Yeah, it's not good at all.  We're in an age of quantity over quality."

Manufacturers who design their products to poor standards, so as to improve on them soon after, are akin to the type of trickster youkai that disguises itself in beggars' clothes to take advantage of others' low expectations.  In this selfishly self-deprecating society, it had become a disadvantage to show one's best.

   – "Everyone knows this, but thinking about it makes me so irritated."

   – "Right?  Humanity is really holding itself back."

   – "On top of that, don't they know that this is how vengeful tsukumogami are born?"

An object that has gone unused for 100 years is believed to develop a consciousness.  Some end up harmless -- but if its short life was spent being used as nothing more than throwaway capital, naturally it would make sense for it to become unhappy.

Merry laid one hand gently on the phone, as if in a gesture of sympathy.

   – "Hey, be careful not to touch more than you need to.  It may look clean, but the chemicals released by e-waste can still be toxic."

   – "Ah, right..."

She felt a bit sheepish for needing safety lessons from Renko, of all people.  But, having thought too hard about it, it became difficult for Merry to view the objects as just physical material.  A great majority of one's life was lived by virtual communication, so this material had great amounts of personal information stored in it.  Of course, the information's original source was in people's minds, so it's not as if it would be instantly forgotten once the plug was pulled.  But there were certainly more petabytes of raw data in a square meter of this dump than a human brain could hold.

#04  Electric Heritage

   – "Come to think of it, though, have you ever actually heard a story about an electronic object becoming a tsukumogami?"

   – "Well, no..."

   – "I have a theory about that.  I don't think e-waste is even capable of that transition."

   – "How do you figure?"

   – "Consider the crossover of electromagnetic fields and the detection of spirits.  Electricity is a simulation of life energy, almost too spot-on.  Like forces repel... so true life energy can't coexist with it.  Because they're flowing with this imitation power, I don't think electronics get a chance to develop real souls."

   – "I see.  Then, we can't properly call this a graveyard..."

   – "...if these bodies were never truly alive."

   – "I can't decide whether that makes me feel relieved, or lonely."

Merry let out an audible sigh against their eerily silent backdrop.  Then she braced herself to deliver the next news.

   – "But, if that's so... then why can I still feel something spiritual around here?"

Renko's eyes lit up instantly.

   – "Do you?  I was hoping you'd say that!"

   – "It just started... which is odd, since we haven't covered all that much ground since getting here.  It's as if a border connecting to somewhere else just opened."

   – "That supports the second part of the theory.  Like forces repel, but opposite forces attract.  They may not have souls themselves, but these empty vessels surely attract souls."

It felt fairly certain, now that both of their minds had helped confirm it:  Some spirit, human or non-human, seemed to have decided to take up residence in the wasteland.  Merry took a moment to feel proud of herself for her invaluable contribution.

   – "By the way, where do robots fit into your theory?"

   – "Well... I mean, there's no doubt we're getting closer every day to the A.I. revolution."

   – "Oh, my.  I knew I should have tipped our e-waiter last time we went to that café."

   – "But that's a completely different phenomenon than what births a tsukumogami, right?  It has to do with the software, not the hardware."

   – "Yes.  Though, it would seem to imply that there is a border of 'false' and 'true' life that can be crossed..."

  #05  Entrusting This World to Idols ~ Idolatrize World

   – "Now all we have to do is narrow it down, and we'll --"

As if on cue, Renko's thoughts were interrupted by a loud crashing sound from behind... music to her thrill-seeking ears.  She whirled around to catch the culprit, her eyes fixating on Merry and the dark-colored object that rested a few paces away at her feet.  The blonde girl threw her hands up in a display of innocence.

   – "I didn't do it.  It moved on its own!  I just saw it fall out of nowhere."

Renko's attempt at a professional retort failed to conceal her excited, twitching grin.

   – "Merry, Merry...  This is the most basic of physics.  An object can't move on its own!  Unless..."

They approached the rectangular object and peered over it.  It seemed to be a tablet PC, roughly twenty centimeters in length.  It had landed face up, luckily enough to not have not shattered the screen, though there was a significant surface crack down its center.

   – "Hm..."

   – "We've ruled out tsukumogami.  You think it could be... a poltergeist?"

   – "I don't know.  Rather than an outside force, the energy seems very contained in here."

   – "So then... a spirit living inside?"

   – "Something like that."

In response, the light of the screen flashed briefly on and back off.

   – "Ahh!  Electricity, a simulation of life energy..."

   – "It also works the other way around!"

This was a very lucky revelation for the two investigators, as it would have been nearly impossible to find a compatible charging cable.  In an age where each and every product was developed with its own unique cord design, this feature was marketed to consumers as a collectible game; the infinite variety, a controlled channel for creativity.

The device seemed to call out to them, understanding what they wanted.  The power flashed again, on and off and on, in a quirky rhythmical pattern that almost evoked a personality.

   – "We've definitely found something worth taking home!"

   – "Wait.  Isn't it wrong to remove a spirit from the place it's attached to?  We can't just adopt a ghost like an abandoned baby."

   – "Like you said, it's attached to the item, not the place. We're just fostering it for a bit before it moves on!"

   – "All right...  Just don't raise it to be wild like you."

   – "And you, Merry, make sure you don't spoil it!"

#06  Nostalgic Blood of the East ~ Old World

The pair reached Renko's dorm with the haunted vessel tucked inconspicuously into their satchel, grateful that the spirit hadn't chosen to bind itself to a full desktop monitor or CPU instead.  The question moving forward would be how to unlock its secrets.

   – "How old do you think it is?"

   – "Because it wasn't buried under anything, it seems like we should assume it to be fairly new.  But it just feels so out of place."

   – "Actually, I meant the spirit."

   – "Oh."

Hand in hand with the phenomenon of planned obsolescence, the fashionable aesthetics of electronics changed as often as water under a bridge.  Sleek designs were popular, then retro designs, then designs that mimicked the mimicry of two eras past, a vaguely deteriorating cycle.  As a result, it was difficult to tell which era this piece of technology belonged to.

   – "Remember that I saw a border open?  Maybe not just the spirit, but the whole item came from somewhere else..."

They had been scrutinizing the home screen for quite some time, attempting to navigate the ancient interface, and hadn't made much headway.  As far as they could tell, the data was heavily corrupted, and most of its history had been erased.  They were able to access only the most basic types of apps, like the calculator and the keyboard.

   – "Hey, Merry.  I think we should use that other thing we picked up."

   – "That?  I don't even understand how we would use it..."

As evidenced by her smug grin, the more scientifically-minded of the pair had full confidence in the strange idea she was about to suggest.

#07  A Tiny, Tiny Clever Commander

   – "I mean, really?  A mouse?"

Renko had insisted that they bring home a wired peripheral mouse, which she had spent an extra half hour scavenging for.  However, of course, the end of the cable did not match the outlet on the tablet.

Currently, she was back in the scavenging position, digging through the pile of unorganized junk that cluttered her closet (mostly books and occult items). Or rather, it looked unorganized, but she seemed to know exactly where everything was.  ...Or rather, Merry concluded, it truly was unorganized, but her eyes were sharp at scanning through even a complete mess.  She wondered if this small pile would ever become as large as the one at the dump.

   – "A-ha, found it!"

Renko had managed to track down the very particular treasure she was seeking, the final piece of their forgathered puzzle.  A small cube with many variously patterned notches rested in her open palm.  The material's finishing was uncolored and plain, likely to have been produced independently with a 3D printer rather than as a commercial product.

   – "W-Where did you get a thing like that?"

   – "I have connections you don't know, Merry."

Merry thought she had heard this line before, and felt a bead of sweat roll down her neck just like the first time.  The source was certainly shady.  Universal adapters were not at all legal.  Treating it like a Rubik's cube, and glancing back and forth for reference, Renko cleverly manipulated the block in her hand in ways that Merry was unable to understand.

Renko's partner, who had long embraced being an accomplice, appreciated her resourcefulness; she only wished to be kept more up to date when the other girl's mental plans ran ten steps ahead.  But she supposed that this was how Renko felt in return when it came to supernatural sights that she couldn't see, so perhaps they were even.

   – "Just like that?  Like magic..."

   – "Tell me, Merry.  Can you see the border of magic and science?"

With all the pieces aligned, Renko ceremoniously linked the mouse to the tablet through the intermediary box.  As a pop-up window indicated the drivers being registered, it was, they determined, a truly magical feat.  The light on the screen dimmed a bit, as if the spirit were expressing slight disappointment that it was no longer their only option for a power supply.

   – "Still...  Better technology has been around for decades.  These are so unwieldly.  Does anyone use an optical mouse anymore?"

   – "No, but no one's done this ritual in a long time either."

#08  No More Going Through Doors

Renko took Merry's hands in her own and conveyed them in a stack atop of the mouse.  Holding this pose, Merry squinted at the screen in front of her, which displayed a neatly spaced virtual keyboard with a complete set of lettering.  A mild shiver ran through her, either nervousness or excitement.

   – "Hang on.  This setup looks familiar somehow."

   – "That's right.  We're having a séance!"

Although Renko was very skilled with computers, hacking was not her expertise.  She did, however, have the kind of mind that was able to think around the box, discovering back doors.  The opportunity here was simple:  If they couldn't reach the secrets, they would consult the only one who knew -- the spirit itself.

   – "Huh!?"

   – "This mouse is a perfect planchette to use as an interface.  Sure, we have voice and touch technology.  But you don't want the spirit to possess your actual body in order to touch the screen or activate your voice, do you?"

   – "Definitely not.  ...Wait, did I ever say I wanted to be the medium at all?"

Merry pulled her hands back from the mouse and saw the screen's light flicker weakly.

   – "Oh, er...  You're right.  We didn't really decide that, did we?"

   – "Mm..."

   – "I think you'd be better suited, but I'll gladly go first.  I've always wanted to try something like this."

Merry's eyes glazed over as she thought about the prospect of communicating with the spirit.  They had assumed the sealed entity was harmless enough to bring home, but could there be some risk in directly channeling it?

Then again, what was the other option?  To leave their investigation at a dead end?

You don't belong on this side of the unknown.

A faint voice bubbled up inside of Merry, almost like an intrusive thought.  This had been happening to her increasingly often lately, though she always forgot about it after the fact.  Because, at the same time, they certainly felt like her own feelings...

Maribel Hearn was sparked with a surge of curiosity that made her want to take the lead.  These were precisely the club activities she had signed up for.  How much more dangerous could it be than anything else, so long as one made sure to follow the protocols and say goodbye at the end?

   – "No...  I'd like to do it."

Renko blinked in surprise.

   – "Really?  ...Well, gee, make up your mind.  You made me get all excited for myself.  Go ahead, but I call next!"

#09  Shoutoku Legend ~ True Administrator

Having cleared the area and turned off all the lights, Merry sat with her back straight against a chair and took a deep breath.  No candle was necessary, as the warm glow of the screen cast a ring of illumination around the table.  They had thoroughly discussed the questions they desired to ask, though the words felt awkward to speak out loud.  Nevertheless, the young medium opened her mouth.

   – "What is... your name?"

...

The atmosphere of room was deathly still.  Merry let all the muscles in her arm relax, preparing.

...

I...

   – "It's working...!"

The spirit was conscious and listening.  The planchette began to glide beneath Merry's loose grip, landing on the letter I.  When it paused on the letter for several seconds, she clicked the mouse button to confirm before the involuntary movement slowly began again.

...FO RG OT.

   – "Ah.  So it's going to be up to us to give it a name."

   – "Did you own this tablet?"

While Merry was lost in thought about a potential name, Renko chimed in with a question of her own from the opposite side of the table.  However, the spirit seemed to hesitate in answering.

Suddenly, the other girl's focus returned.  On an instinct, she broke the silence with an unexpected change of the question.

   – "Does this tablet own you?"

...

YE S.

   – "Huh... The tablet owns the spirit?  How did that happen?"

Although Renko's words were more thinking out loud than a direct question, the spirit was responsive.  Merry's hand immediately began to move.

...

SN AP.

   – "Snap...?  That sounds kind of scary."

   – "What does that mean?"

The cursor then swerved dramatically past all the letters on the keypad and down to the app menu along the bottom edge of the screen.  It hovered over an icon barely recognizable as an antique camera.

   – "Ah..."

The app launched, reproducing a dark, blurry image of the table on which the device's lens was turned.  Upon clicking the screen, a photograph was taken, and the damaged speaker emitted a distorted snapping sound.

   – "Spirit photography!"

The two girls burst out in unison, solving the riddle simultaneously.

   – "Right.  We've all heard the old belief that getting a photograph taken of you might steal a piece of your soul."

   – "It has some basis.  If captured in a photograph by accident, a minor spirit's energy might become trapped."

Somewhere in the hidden files, such a photograph must exist, binding some foreign essence to this device.  The spirit was likely eager to get free.

Merry minimized the camera app and returned to the keyboard.

   – "Who took the picture?"

...

Unlike its own, this name seemed to be one the spirit knew.  The pair observed with bated breath as the cursor navigated itself around the maze of letters.  Ultimately, it came to a halt, and Merry clicked on the final letter.

   – "...Eh?  Merry, stop kidding around!"

Merry turned to her partner with a genuine, solemn expression.

   – "I'm... not.  I swear."

Renko's face went pale. In ink-black font, three familiar syllables stood on display beside a blinking cursor.

#10  Dream World Folklore

To disprove the influence of the ideomotor effect, they had asked the question several more times, using both girls as mediums, until the spirit ultimately stopped responding altogether.

   – "Oh, no.  We scared it away..."

   – "Well, it did spook us first."

   – "Renko...  You weren't kidding about your connections, were you?"

Renko scratched her head with lingering bewilderment.

   – "Is the spirit messing with us?  Or could it be..."

Her gaze wandered over to the stream of occult paraphernalia still spilling out of the crack of her closet door, and she experienced a strange sense of longing.  The adventurous scientist was heavily accustomed to investigating mysteries from an observational and objective point of view.  Finding herself personally a step closer to the subject was a bizarre and almost gut-twisting feeling.  She supposed that this was how Merry felt in return when the focus of investigations was on her own powers, so perhaps they were even.  Almost.

After a few more sessions of séance, they managed to navigate to an encrypted folder.  A full-screen photograph had flashed open... but, before they were able to make out any details, the tablet's power instantly cut off.  Following this, it no longer responded to any input.

Their assumption would be that the spirit had been able to cross over, after deleting its digital ties to the physical container and unsealing the information it was attached to.

   – "I suppose this is goodbye..."

   – "Is the spirit free now?"

   – "I think so."

   – "That's good for it, at least."

   – "Too bad for you.  If we kept it, maybe it would have served as your personal shikigami."

   – "Isn't that a bit cold-hearted?  It was supposed to be our child!"

A shikigami is the perfect phantasmal servant.  The owner may input commands, and it carries out orders with extraordinary speed and calculation.  Of course, a normal computer already fulfills essentially the same purpose.  Outside world humans of the modern era aren't in need of such a spirit under their possession.

Even so, the force of attraction that had drawn them to cross paths with this spirit would be a mystery to chase going forward.  The two present members of the Sealing Club had a new story to tell, an urban legend that could be shared only amongst themselves.

Afterwords

Hello, this is someone who absolutely promised themself that they would publish at least one Hifuu fic per calendar year.  The idea for this one began with a conversation with my real-life partner (as is usually the case of inspiration) about the excellent aesthetic of using a computer keyboard as a Ouija board.  This subject in turn came up because of a "ghost" that haunts her keyboard by making a certain cryptic message appear on the screen at random times because the "." and "0" keys are in an easy position for us to accidentally press.  So, this story is dedicated to our precious child, ".0-chan."

Then, while it was already being written, WBaWC came out and confirmed that a technology-themed fic would be totally appropriate, and my favorite song from the soundtrack had the perfect title to be used in it.  (Also, its blatant dystopian themes justified playing up the similar themes of the Sealing Club's society even more than usual.)  And yet, despite many things lining up, it almost didn't get finished in time.  It's been such a busy and stressful year, which I hope gets better next year...

Another source of inspiration was the blog "Yukarisuggestion," whose portrayal I respect a lot.  When they drop minor bits of supernatural trivia, it definitely feels like they are coming from the youkai sage herself, very natural to accept.  I latched onto these posts in particular, finding the concept fascinating, and I only hope I interpreted it acceptably.  ...I was really aiming sharply this time at the Sealing Club's conversational aesthetic of "casual confidence in super obscure things that outside listeners would hear as nonsense," so I'm afraid some parts may have crossed the border of B.S.

Also, I wonder if it's okay that the second half of the song choices are almost entirely bad puns?

ASA    (Our ghost child's pen name would be "0.4" / "Rei-ten-shi"!)

Hifuu CD-style stories:

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  自封夢幻 〜 Sentimental Reverie

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  陶然夢幻 〜 Transcendental Revelry

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  羨望横断 〜 Unenviable Crossroads

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  外来土産 〜 Adventive Reminiscence

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3] 中古技術 〜 Electric Spirit Seance

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  幻想惑星直列 〜 Phantasmal Syzygy

Not in our name: Ethnic minorities don't care about your Proms culture war

By Sunder Katwala

The debate over the last night of the Proms appears a hardy perennial.  It is half a century since the BBC made a proposal to ditch the patriotic anthems in 1969 – in the hope of making the event "more attractive to 40 million viewers in Europe". That decision was reversed in response to media, political and public opposition. Even the liberal Guardian newspaper editorialised against the change. "The point about this famous Albert Hall occasion was that it was an unblushing piece of English nonsense," it wrote. "Are we now going to be ashamed of our national eccentricities?"

In 2020, there are two different reasons suggested for a change. One is practical: there will be no audience in the Royal Albert Hall this year and a much smaller orchestra. The BBC says that this is the reason to propose an instrumental version of the anthems for this year, with the singing returning when the audience does in 2021. But much more attention has been paid to the idea that the move is a response to the Black Lives Matter anti-racism protests. This appears to be because a handful of well-wishers and a larger number of opponents have been happy to assume that this is the sort of thing that the movement must want.

It was Richard Morrison, the long-standing art critic of The Times, who began this year's debate with a magazine piece. His article suggests two motivations. Firstly, that he has personally never liked the Last Night of the Proms and would love to ditch what he called the "unholy trinity" of Land of Hope of Glory, Rule Britannia and Jerusalem. Secondly, that the Black Lives Matter protests appeared to offer the opportunity and the moment to pursue this long-standing preference.

Morrison is entitled to his view. But his language, that it would be "insensitive, even incendiary" to continue, was clumsy. His premise – that supporters of Black Lives Matter would be hurt and upset by the continuation of the last night of the Proms – is an assumption for which the evidence is scant. So the use of "incendiary" was a hyperbolic claim, bringing to mind hackneyed images of rioting and violence about something that few people care about at all.

The debate then continued when Sunday newspaper reports suggested that the Finnish conductor of this year's proms shared the view that it was a good opportunity to ditch the patriotic songs. She has since stated that the reports were inaccurate.

So what do ethnic minorities actually think about the last night of the Proms? The most plausible answer is: Not much and not often. The important and necessary caveat is that there is no unified view of this issue, held by two million black people, nor among eight million people who are not white.

The polls on the last night of the Proms are typical of most polling in the country. Ethnic minorities are a bigger share of the population than the under-24s but are not a standard break in opinion polling. Generally, there is considerably less information on the views of the one-in-six people in Britain who are not white than on just about every other demographic. Pollsters have recently begun to step up their efforts to fill this gap.

Overall, support for ditching the patriotic anthems runs at about a quarter of the support of the Black Lives Matter protests. Clearly, only a minority of supporters of the Black Lives Matter protests oppose the last night of the Proms – reflecting the fact that this is not something that campaigners or protestors have called for or prioritised.

In July, YouGov found that 11% would drop the songs while 69% would keep them. In the same poll, 42% of people described themselves as supporters of the Black Lives Matter protests. Support for ditching the proms is somewhat higher among sections of the population who are most supportive of the Black Lives Matter movement. For example, 71% of Labour voters are supportive of the Black Lives Matter protests, while 21% would ditch the songs from the Proms. Keir Starmer reflects the views of most Labour voters in believing that keeping the songs as a "staple of the British summer" is compatible with a critical interrogation of British history. Similarly, just 14% of Liberal Democrat voters polled would ditch the anthems while more than six out of ten support Black Lives Matter.

Recent polling suggests that support among ethnic minorities for the Black Lives Matter protests is around seven out of ten people. Two-thirds of ethnic minorities say that their concerns about racism appear well reflected by the protests – and about a quarter of ethnic minority respondents say that they participated in or actively supported the protests in some way.

This pattern makes it plausible to estimate that between one-in-ten to one-in-five ethnic minorities would support ditching the Proms anthems. It is very unlikely to have majority support among non-white Britons. Attitudes towards the last night of the Proms differ by age and social class, by education, by geography and by politics. Those demographic drivers of attitudes will have some influence among black and Asian Britain too.

The issue may well matter more to ethnic minority musicians than to the public at large. Chi-Chi Nwanoku revealed that she had been lobbying the BBC to ditch the songs. As the founder of Chineke, the largest BAME-led orchestra in Britain or Europe, she has a good claim to be the most influential black British classical musician today. Nwanoku also wrote a public letter emphasising a broader set of changes for the classical music sector.

Those working for race equality in classical music have expressed a range of different views of whether changing the proms would help or hinder this broader agenda. Saxophonist Nate Holder would rather see more understanding of the context than the removal of the songs. Oboist and researcher Uchenna Ngwe said she wanted to see bigger issues dealt with. "We don't need any more pointless symbolic moves," she tweeted. There does not seem to have been any structured attempt to assess where the overall balance of views among musicians from minority backgrounds currently lies.

Outside of classical music, my own anecdotal effort to assess ethnic minority opinion on Twitter resulted in a broad landslide for indifference. Only a handful supported ditching the anthems. And similarly only a few people cared about and enjoyed the proms. Most were indifferent to them. A number of those who found the spectacle a bit "cringey" didn't think the issue was worth the argument, while others thought it was wrong to remove something that other people enjoyed. There was an overwhelming frustration at the level of profile of the debate and concern at how divisive it could become.

A recent Hope Not Hate poll, of 1,000 ethnic minority respondents, illuminates some of the reasons why ethnic minority opinion will be ambivalent and sceptical about the proposal to ditch the proms.

There is a broad majority among ethnic minorities - around two-thirds - who support the removal of the statues of slavers. Yet most respondents also expressed scepticism about the focus on statues: a very wide majority of 60% to 15% feel that this has become a distraction from substantive issues of race equality.

History matters. The strongest consensus - across ethnic minorities and the white majority - is for teaching the history of Empire, including its controversies, in schools. That is a much higher priority for most ethnic minority Britons than changing the Proms would be.

Asked about removing negative portrayals of ethnic minorities on films and television, opinion divides. 'It's complicated' would sum up the median view - context matters, with a significant difference between egregious and trivial examples.

A majority of ethnic minority respondents agreed with the idea that the statues debate represented "political correctness" going too far – by 52% to 22% - showing a concern to differentiate between the most egregious examples and a sweeping 'year zero' idea of interrogating every historical figure by contemporary standards.

Here, people often welcome the social moves against name-calling and slurs against ethnic minorities, while remaining sceptical about arguments over Easter Eggs, nativity plays and symbols like the proms.

Individual views of the Last Night of the Proms will, of course, differ. But the general view of ethnic minority Britons could be summed up as one of frustration that these polarising culture wars misrepresent and trivialise ethnic minority concerns about race equality.

In other words: Have your silly season media culture war over the Proms if you really must. But not in our name, thank you very much.

The Miys, Ch. 39

Thank you everyone for your patience as I dealt with computer issues this week!  I was able to get the chapter done with minimal delay, and I hope you all enjoy it.  Fair warning: it has not been run by @parisconstantine, so all faults are my own.

Please give a warm round of applause and welcome to @books-and-cartoons original character, Grandma Kim.  I really hope I did her justice, and I really hope you tell me off if I didn’t give her a fair shake!

A few days after forwarding the group of approved candidates to the rest of the Council, I found myself pacing my quarters while my stomach clenched painfully. I had been trying to calm my nerves for nearly an hour, but to no avail. Even worse, for the first time since I left the medical bay, I was completely alone with my thoughts, which swirled and screamed at me with increasing urgency as time ticked by.  I was frightened, angry, betrayed, and anxious in turns.  My hair was a mess from running my hands through it, although I had resisted the urge to tug on it – if only out of worry that I would collapse into a sobbing, drooling heap on the floor.

I had finally given in to my family’s insistence and was waiting for Grandma Kim to arrive.

Conor was on shift, still working to get the platforms completed in BioLab 2 after the delays caused by losing some of the people assigned to the project. I had begged my sister to wait with me, but she put her small foot down with enormous resolve. “I know you are nervous, and that’s expected,” she had sighed. “But, Sophia, I’m exhausted.  I’ve been doing my job and the job of your assistant for months now, plus not being able to sleep without knowing you’re okay.  I need to just – not exist for a few days.  Go to my quarters, keep the lights off, and just let everything that’s going to happen, happen. Your quarters are recorded within an inch of your life and mine: video, audio, and doppler recordings are constantly running. Noah is going to be nearby so they can respond at a moment’s notice if needed, but this is Grandma Kim we’re talking about. There isn’t any safer place to be on this ship, honestly.  I promise that you won’t die, but if I don’t get a break, I might kill you myself.”

Conor had been horrified at her bluntness, but I quickly explained to him that my sister knew I needed a kick in the pants if I was going to get back to something resembling normal, and only meant it with love. Despite so much time around us, he was still adjusting to the way we were so open with our feelings while not hesitating to define our limits with each other.  And, to my utter horror, she was right – she had every reason to be exhausted, and I admired the fact that she knew not to work herself into collapse like I so often found myself doing.

So, in the end, I had agreed that at least meeting with Grandma Kim was best for everyone involved.  It would take a load off of my sister, give Conor a break from being my personal bodyguard, and give me someone to lean on who I wouldn’t feel guilty about needing. After all, helping people through trauma was apparently her job.  

Nonetheless, when the chime sounded to announce that someone was waiting to enter my living space, I nearly shot out of my skin and through the bulkhead above me. Two deep breaths and a lot of shaking later, I signaled for the door to allow her in.  I don’t know what I had been expecting, but the visage that greeted me could only be described as “As Advertised”. Long hair streaked in dark and light grey tied in a practical plait, medium height, just too young to be ‘elderly’ even though I knew she was at least seventy years old. Ramrod posture, gentle smile, and the biggest German Shepherd I had ever seen in my life sitting patiently at her side. “You must be Grandma Kim,” I stated dumbly, trying to sound more confident and in control than I felt.

“Hello, dear,” she tilted her head slightly in acknowledgement. “And this is Lyric. May we come in?”

Flustered, I stepped to the side. “Right. Yes. Please come in.  Would you like me to show you around?”

She hummed softly before gently rebuking Lyric. “Yes, your friend Mac lives here. But you still have to be alert.  Be a good girl and keep your ears up, but don’t bother the grown ups while we talk, okay? Keep it down.”  With that, the admonished pup padded over and nosed Mac, receiving a disdainful look before being allowed to start wrestling quietly.  “That’s a good girl.”  Glancing up, Grandma Kim shook her head with a small smirk.  “Those two are thick as thieves, just a knot of trouble sometimes. But Lyric knows to behave at a guest’s house, so she’ll mind her manners.  And don’t worry about showing me around, Miss Reid. Why don’t you sit down so you’ll be more comfortable, and I’ll get us something to drink and snack on while we talk.” Without waiting for a response, she glided into my kitchen area.

Not knowing what else to do, I sat on my couch and tucked my legs beneath me. No wonder everyone just calls her ‘grandma’, I mused. I just got told what to do by an old lady in my own home. Grandmother powers, indeed.

“This is a lovely kitchen,” she called as she moved around. “Do you cook?”

“Yes ma’am,” I answered, grabbing my blanket and wrapping it around me as a sort of armour.

“I would love to see you cook sometime.” Gods, I could literally hear her smiling. “I always found cooking to be quite relaxing.” She came back into my public area with two mugs and a tray of small pastries.

As she handed me one mug, a scent filled my nose and set my mouth watering. “I’m not allowed caffeine yet,” I apologized wistfully, not yet setting the beverage down.

She tutted! She actually tutted! “Yes, I know. Anxiety and all that. But, excuse me for being blunt, you look like you’re exhausted, and your file lists your favorite beverages as all being coffee-based. A nice warm mug of sweet coffee with plenty of milk will do you right, I think.” She threw me a wink. “Besides, professional nurturers are allowed to override medical restrictions to a small degree.  One cup of coffee definitely will do you more psychological good than it will do you physical harm.”

Needing no other encouragement, I took a long sip of heaven and sighed.  Grandma Kim chuckled slightly before taking a sip of her own and setting it to the side. “Now that we have that out of the way, I know you want to ask me some questions.  Let me go ahead and take the liberty of answering the usual ones right out of the gate.  I know you’re more familiar with what I do than most people are, seeing as your sister and Antoine are partners.  He specializes – or specialized – in providing physical non-sexual comfort and basic care.  Making sure people with deep depression don’t cause themselves harm through direct action or neglect, cuddling, that sort of thing.”

“You say ‘specialized’, past tense,” I stated slowly. “He wasn’t fired for his relationship with my sister, was he?”

“Oh, dear no!” she laughed. “On the contrary.  He recused himself, feeling it would be wrong to continue his duties due to their relationship.  Something about donuts. In any case, he is currently overseeing our policies and general practices, while guiding assignments to ensure better quality of compatibility than simple chance.” I blew a breath of relief as she continued. “My specialty is quite different from his.  I don’t cuddle, really, for starters.  What I provide, instead, is a different kind of comfort.  The comfort of knowing you are safe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, and the comfort of reassurance.  Also, if one of my clients has an episode of hallucination or paranoia and attacks me by mistake, I can both defend myself without harming them and also restrain them if necessary.  It happens rarely,” she held up her hand to fend of my objection, “but it has been known to happen, and I have had several people concerned they will hurt me. You will not, I promise. Before everything went ass over teakettle, I had combat training for unarmed, close quarters, and long-distance weapons.  Very few people on the Ark can land a strike on me once, and none can do it twice.”

I sucked a breath between my teeth.  That was unexpected.

She continued. “Now, I clearly did not learn all that for the fun of it, or for peaceful reasons.  However, I find it a shame that so many people in the After and on this ship live what they call lives unable to shake the idea that someone will hurt them.  Even more shameful is that they all have good reason for that.  I can’t let it continue.  If I, a very harmless looking little old lady can take care of them and give them the reassurance that they are safe?  Well, I feel I would be a horrible person if I didn’t do exactly that.” She took a sip of her coffee as nonchalantly as if she were discussing the weather. “You, however, are a little more unique than that, aren’t you, Sophia Reid?”

“Yes ma’am,” I muttered, glancing down at my own half-gone beverage.

“None of that,” she chided gently. “Grandma Kim or GK will do fine. But as I was saying, you had an attempt on your life made by someone very close to you, and I can imagine that you are hesitant to let anyone else be close enough to hurt you like that.  I don’t blame you, frankly.  What happened to you was an evil thing, done by someone who thought herself a hero. And now, you have the weight of being a figurehead jammed on your shoulders, whether you want it or not, while trying to shore up your own foundations at the same time.”  I nodded as she blew a breath threw her nose. “Well, that won’t do, will it?”

“I don’t really have a choice,” I answered ruefully.

“Of course you do.”

“How do you figure that?” My head tilted to one side, puzzled.

“Well, for starters, I think you need help setting boundaries with the people around you,” she stated firmly. “And I can help you with that.  Not in the way your sister or an assistant can, by managing your schedule, but by reminding you to rest, to take time for yourself. Right now, you may be too afraid of your own mind to do that, but with me and Lyric here to keep you company? Two people who you don’t have to help, and who you aren’t being a burden to by needing us? That alone usually removes a huge weight from people. You have a history of forgetting to feed yourself if you have no one else to feed.  But you also find it distinctly rude to decline food that is prepared for you.” She gestured at the half gone plate of spanakopita. When did I eat that? I must have, to know what it was. She never told me, and it wasn’t something you would serve with coffee.

“Antoine told me it’s one of your favorites,” she explained. “He also wanted me to get you to eat, even if you decided against allowing me to assist you. But I do ask that you consider things. You don’t need to give a response now, since I’m certain this has been exhausting for you.  Go to bed, take a nap, and think about it after you’ve had some rest.  My feelings will not be hurt, either way, but I do think that you would benefit from having a companion, even for a brief time while you adjust to everything.”

I nodded dumbly.  She definitely was right about being exhausted, but a nap seemed like an impossibility at the moment.  “I – I don’t know if I can sleep,” I admitted through clenched teeth, forcing myself to say the words.  “I haven’t been able to sleep by myself since – since I got home….”

“How do you usually sleep?” she asked.

“Conor sleeps next to me,” I admitted. “I don’t like taking medicine to sleep, and I know he won’t let anyone hurt me.  It’s not anything sexual, just – more of a protection than anything else.” Nonetheless, I felt my face flush hot and red.

“Do we need to send him a message?” she offered.

I shook my head. “He’s working. They’re already behind schedule, and I know he would come, but I don’t want to pull him away any more than I have.”  I blinked way the sting that was coming to my eyes.  I was not about to cry over not being able to do something as simple as take a nap.

Grandma Kim hummed to herself for a moment. “Well, I have an idea, if you think you may be interested. And I promise it isn’t medicine.” I nodded for her to continue. “This will in no way obligate you to take on our services, but would you be more comfortable if Lyric slept on the bed with you? Or even on the floor by the bed? I would sit out here while you rested, unless she came to get me if you need help.”

I glanced at Lyric, where she wrestled with Mac, while I thought the idea over. While I barely knew this woman, Antoine recommended her highly – specifically when it came to safety.  And I couldn’t deny there was a certain novelty in having an actual guard dog protect me while I slept, rather than well-meaning construction worker-cum-botanist who did his best imitation of one. “What the hell,” I relented. “May as well take your services for a test drive.”

“That’s the spirit, dear,” she smiled.

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𝗔 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗙𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗵, 𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟳: 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗺

Dispensationalism is a Christian perspective (in some branches) of the partitioning of Biblical history into discrete units of time (dispensations) based on shifts in God’s method of administration on Earth, shifts often caused and demarcated by some great failing of mankind. The concept of dispensations is significant for its implications on literal interpretations of the Bible and the relationship of the New and Old testaments, and by extension thereof the Christian relationship with Judaism. It is similar to the Baháʼí concept of progressive revelation.

𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻

Concepts very similar to Dispensationalism have been a part of Christian philosophy for a long time, dating back at least to the 2nd century CE and touched upon by many prominent voices throughout the ages. The tradition most familiar to modern Western Christians originates with the 19th century British Bible scholar John Nelson Darby. Darby’s view on dispensations spread in America with the publishing of the 𝘚𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘙𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 in in early 20th century, still one of the most commonly used versions for biblical studies. Today, Dispensationalism is most associated with American Evangelicalism and similar organizations. At its most basic, Dispensationalism views periods of Biblical history, from Adam and Eve to the end time, as transitions between God’s systems of governance. Thus, Adam and Eve did not, and could not have, follow the same covenants as Noah, who in turn was obeying a different set of divine laws from Moses, and so on. This provides an answer to one of Christianity’s larger identity struggles: how to treat the Old Testament. Christianity developed from 1st century (both BC and BCE) branch of Judaism. As such, Christians have maintained a version of core Jewish scripture, the “Old Testament”, but have introduced additional scriptures in the “New Testament”. Because the two testaments do not always appear to line up, and as Christians developed non-Jewish identity, the issue of which testament was correct and how to feel about those who only accept the Old Testament became pressing. Christianity has many branches with different opinions on these topics, but in general the New Testament is often seen as being additive to, as opposed to replacing of, the Old Testament, thought New Testament views are generally seen to either supersede what came before or to reveal information that changes previous interpretations. Dispensationalism generally holds that the Old Testament was not wrong or even incomplete, that before the coming of the savior, Jesus Christ, and the establishment of the church, the laws of the Old Testament contained the accurate and literal will of God. Because it is compatible with, if not encouraging of, literal interpretations of scripture, the view is popular amongst fundamentalist branches. Because it maintains the status of Jews as God’s chosen people, Dispensationalism also encourages a view of Jews not as distinct, but as a part of the Christian tradition. Many of America’s policies towards the modern state of Israel have been informed by this religious doctrine.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀

There are multiple divisions found in Dispensationalist philosophies, the following is the version that was most common in my research and one popularized by current prominent Evangelical voices. The general trend of the dispensations is that God enacts a policy of rule on Earth, only for humanity to inevitably fail to uphold virtue to the point of catastrophe, at which point God must change His method. Some view the dispensations as horizontal shifts, i.e. different from one another but not necessarily correlated or progressive. Others see them as vertical or progressive, meaning that each one is building off the last and that the ordering of them is important to mankind’s eventual comprehension of God’s final truth.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲

The first dispensation was given to Adam and Eve, the Biblical first man and woman who lived in the paradise of the Garden of Eden. Because, at this time, there was not yet evil on Earth and the Garden provided anything Adam and Eve could want, this dispensation has not covenant or law. God had made the world seemingly perfect and so no systemic management was strictly necessary. This all ends once Adam and Eve are tempted to defy God and eat from the Tree of Knowledge, which results in their banishment from Eden.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲

After Adam and Eve go out into the world, with little direction from God, they and their children must rely on their newfound knowledge of Good and Evil. This manner of divine administration can be seen in the story of Cain, Adam and Eve’s son and the first murderer. In the Bible, God is aware of Cain’s potential sin and speaks to him, but ultimately the decision remains with Cain and his own conscience. Free will is a recurrent negative theme in this period, as it is also when the rebellious angels come to earth and mate with humans. This continues poorly until things get so bad God sends the great flood, wiping out all of mankind except for Noah and his kin.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁

Having witnessed the unreliability of human conscience, the first systemic laws are given to Noah and his family, most prominent among them being the concept of capital punishment, or state sanctioned murder. This can be seen as the invention, albeit crudely, of executive law enforcement. Mankind ultimately fails this and organizes itself to defy God. Instead of spreading across and dominating the earth, Noah’s descendants stay put and build the Tower of Babel, an act generally seen as a hubristic attempt to reach the heavens. The tower is struck down and God splinters the previously unified language of humans, thus creating the various nations of the Earth.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲

Now living in distinct nations, God chooses from among them a chosen one to receive his latest commandment. This is the first time that God does not act in a way universal to mankind, but instead chooses specific human agents to act on his behalf. The Chosen one is the patriarch Abraham. Abrahams mission was to make his way to the promised land and establish a new nation there. This dispensation can almost be viewed as an intermediary: unified government has failed, just as conscience did before it. With the splintering of nations, God now needs representation amongst them but independent from any. Thus, he delivers a promise to Abraham and awaits the coming of Israel. Unfortunately, the line of Abraham fails as well, ultimately winding up trapped as slaves in Egypt.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗮𝘄

At last, God frees the slaves of Egypt and uses Moses to induct the next and possibly most important dispensation. This is the establishment of God’s own laws, the ten commandments and ultimately the fullness of the Old Testament. In Israel the central temple and priesthood is established and finally a functioning divine administration on Earth is established. This dispensation ends with the coming of Jesus Christ. By some reckonings, this is the ultimate dispensation. In this view the next one is not a true subsequent dispensation, but a brief interruption, in a similar fashion that a leap day might be added to the year to keep it in line with the solar cycle.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲

This is the current dispensation, and was established upon the arrival and death of the messiah, Jesus Christ, and the establishment of the church. The law of this dispensation is the revelation and recognition of the savior’s arrival as recounted in the New Testament. The Israelites, apart from Jesus’ own followers, did not recognize the savior when he came and for this lost their divine protection and were scattered. On this there is some variety in interpretation. Sometimes the punishment of the Israelites is less of a punishment and more a necessary step of transition as the church spreads the administration of God throughout the world (which differs from Moses’ laws which were for Israel alone). As mentioned earlier, a common idea in Dispensationalism is the idea that this dispensation is only an interposition withing the Dispensation of Law, and thus the state of Israel and the temple will be reestablished before the messiah returns, hence the aforementioned impact on modern U.S./Israeli relations. This dispensation ends with the return of Jesus and the Rapture.

𝗠𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗞𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗱𝗼𝗺

The nature of the final dispensation can be muddled, as different branches may hole different opinions on the specifics of the end of days. Broadly speaking (for branches that recognize this list or similar dispensations), Jesus will return to earth and reign as king in Israel, effectively as God on Earth, for 1,000 years. During this time all will be perfect, almost Edenic, but ultimately Satan, the great tempter of mankind, will stoke discontentedness and a final rebellion of humans and demons will arise, prompting God to enact a final judgement of all souls and establish a truly perfect Eternal Kingdom.

Image Credit: Chart by Rev. Clarence Larkin, early 20th Century

The Ukraine Business E-visa Stories

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In fact, it isn't so bad.  The most significant country in Europe is diverse and full of traditions.

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So that all of the government institutions could comprehend the unity of our goal, which we wish to achieve and to take part in the procedure for achieving it.  There are plenty of reasons.  You then will know how much the process expenses, what documents are required, how much time it will take to get all your issues settled.

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Tips on Picking Right Website Design for Law Firms

Is a website essential for a law firm today? Many small law firms actually are still operating without a website but shockingly so!

After all, don’t you have to be present where most of your customers are? Yes, a website is not only the need of the hour but an essential component of any business in today’s digital world!

The first thing a customer does is search for a list of top services online. Moreover, if one gets to hear about you via word of mouth, where do you think they would try and find you first? — Of course online!

Thus a basic requirement today is to have an online presence, most professionally advocated by your own website. No website might turn out to be a red flag for potential clients, assuming that you’re not established enough or cut out for the job.

However, only having a website is not sufficient. Neither only an attractive design makes the cut. It has to be tailored specifically to your company and its requirements.

Having the appropriate Law firm web design shall render your firm enhanced lead generation, branding, and customer acquisition. Advanced features and generally compatible, the right website design shall take your company a long way.

Here are some tips on making your law firm’s website super apt and successful. The key is to design right and here is how you can go about it:

Create a website that is simple and unique:

When one lands on your website for the first time, they shouldn’t feel like they’ve seen what they’re looking at tons of times before. In fact, there should be something that grabs their attention or strikes a chord immediately!

Thus, uniqueness is the key. Make your website different and custom designed. It shouldn’t just be a template available online.

Make your lawyers website design stand out using engaging ways of presenting information. It could be a creative photo of the workplace and its people as the main image for instance or say a website that focuses on the women employees of the law firm.

De-clutter and simplify is the new trend and rightly so. In fact, for a law firm’s web design, simplifying not only involves a cleaner look and feel.

It rather means that you should be able to communicate your message through your website design. Why? So that it’s super simple for your clients to understand you better. Yes, simplify in terms of making it simpler, for your customers to grasp what your law firm is all about.

A great way of doing this is by using hero areas on your homepage itself. Incorporate large hero images with simple and clear text. Your hero images can be rotating too, to present a few other variations for the complete message.

These hero images help prospective clients understand what specific niche your law firm operates in, what’s your culture like, how big your brand is etc, depending on what you think is most essential to communicate.

Moreover, all they need is a jiffy, to land on your homepage and have a look at your custom-made hero areas highlighting all that you’re about.

In fact, your customers only read around 28% of the words during an average visit. So, it’s best to only include the most important aspects on the homepage at least. Less is more in the case of law firm web design. One shouldn’t overload the homepage with tons of text and images.

Modern and cut out for today’s trends:

If your website looks like 2014, no one is going to bother about it! Rather it might signal that your firm is dated and your employees still stuck in the old ways.

A great way of showing that your firm is up to date with the latest developments and technologies, the new tastes and trends are via a modern looking lawyers website design.

Make your website look current and now! For instance, since 2017s flat designs are in vogue, so are simple gifts, videos, and animations.

Professionally shot cinemagraphs on work culture or the cause behind the company is very much in trend.

Other than this, larger fonts, bigger images, and illustrations are what you can play with to design a modern-looking website.

Use a Professional logo and brand colors:

Your website has to incorporate your company’s logo in a clear distinctive manner and right at the outset itself. Your logo is literally your company in a snapshot and shall be used to represent it at all times.

However, if you pick up a random clipart from the internet and tweak it minutely to create a logo for your firm, once put up online as part of your website, it might dissuade people from actually taking you seriously.

A differentiated, simple but custom-designed logo is the first step to depict out professionalism for a law firm. You can also use your brand colors as the theme color for your website to resonate more personally with your clients.

Carry out tests to analyze what’s ticking:

An integral part of any marketing plan is to provide for a procedure for analyzing the overall results to infer how the initiatives are faring.

Say you’re going on relentlessly putting in efforts and re-designing your website. However, without ever analyzing how effective this is turning out to be for your business, in that case, how can you establish whether your website design is giving you the outputs you expect?

Moreover, how would you infer which aspects need improvement or change and which should be continued or rather incorporated even more?

The answer is to run simple tests after designing your homepage and having it running for a pre-decided initial period. Carry out A/B tests to determine which types of content, colors, buttons and specific parts of your homepage are doing the most well with prospective clients i.e. earning the most amount of clicks.

Incorporate CTA on your homepage etc:

What would you ideally want from your law firm’s website? For it to be able to engross and engage a prospective client?

The best way to get your customers deeper into your website and the firm today is by including ‘call to action’ buttons on your homepage. Any web design company in California should be able to help you with this.

A CTA if appropriate should be added on to a homepage so that a viewer clicks on it and is taken even deeper into the site before bouncing off. In fact, CTAs should be added on other pages too and it’s a great way of guiding your customers in particular directions and enticing them with further information.

However, one should not overload pages with non-relevant CTAs. Each call to action tab should be clearly visible and stand out on the page, for instance, a pink button on a black background.

The location where you’re placing the CTA is also important. A CTA tab should open up to link of another page that has been created to take your client deeper into the website.

Use subtle gradients. Focus on only a couple of the most significant ones and depict them with larger font and simple yet attention-grabbing content.

Incorporate your services and attorney profiles:

For a law firm, it is important to clarify at the outset as to which niche the attorneys of the firm specialize in. The first thing your customers shall be looking out to determine on your website is your specific services as a law firm.

For instance, even just below your logo, or adjacent to the header itself incorporating a tagline, saying ‘ A Civil Rights Law Firm’ or ‘property law specialists’ can resonate what you’re servicing right from the moment one lands on your site.

Introducing your attorneys, highlighting their experiences, skills, and awards go a long way in building trust. Attach headshots as well to help clients picturize them. You can also talk about their education, fun facts or specific cases handles by them to make it more relatable.

A prospective client, especially when it comes to legal help, shall be longing for reliability before making any calls. Thus design your website in a way that it builds confidence.

Another way of doing this is by including a testimonial page in the design. When actual reviews and experiences of previous or current customers are shared, the prospective ones are naturally much more at peace and more drawn towards the company.

In fact, over and above a testimonials page, try incorporating few key testimonials all around the site in creative ways to resonate with the customer at all times.

Design in a way that your website loads swiftly:

A super slow loading website can be the biggest marketing downfall and most annoying. Yes, your website design has things to do with the loading speed too. Ask any web design company in California, and they shall be able to tell you how.

If your design includes very rich content in terms of graphically intense layouts, it might make your website sluggish to load. In that case, you need a super good bandwidth and host to make up for it and avoid sluggish speeds.

Therefore the cheapest monthly host is not always your best option. In fact, a simple web design plus a decent host is what you should opt for.

Consistent throughout:

You shouldn’t include different patterns of design and ways to navigate on separate pages. These should be kept similar across all the pages of the site.

Keep the design consistent throughout to avoid noise and confusion. In fact, in 2017, this was the reason why most law firms had to re-design their website

Content is the key:

One might create a stunning layout for their website but what about what forms the body of that site? The content was often ignored and not as focused on, however today, all web design companies in California agree that content is very much the key.

If you have gibber on your site just to fill up space, your customers shall not even take a minute to scrape through and bounce off (and probably bad mouth as well).

Not only do you need apt content for communicating with your customers, but also to appear in top places on search engines. Yes, it’s a fact that SEO revolves around content and all major search engines shall pick you on the basis of what your content incorporates (keywords and links). So, optimize your website for SEO by using the appropriate content.

It is also important to understand the current trends with respect to content. It should be fresh and crisp. Use engaging headings to grab attention, bulleted points and be concise. Your customers shall not read long pieces of text.

You can use simple pieces of content as navigation points on your homepage as well. You can also use numbers and stats in bold as highlighted areas on the homepage to engross the customer instantly.

These can depict for instance, how many cases you have solved as a company, how many clients are on board or how many people, in general, are affected by the industry you’re servicing in etc depending on what your USPs are.

Also, try using a larger, more readable font for the content. With the increase in screen resolutions, many formats further reduce your font size making them tiny and difficult to read on the screen.

Make your website design responsive:

Today with the drastic increase in Smartphone use, you really don’t know where your website shall be accessed from. Your web design should be able to fluidly change and be responsive to fit any screen size and format.

Whether a desktop, phone screen, I pad or any other device, a responsive design shall keep your website accessible across all and is really the need of the hour.

Hope you find these tips useful. Take them as a starting point to build on your web-design and witness the magic unfold!

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind Soundtrack Download

00:00 - A Land Of War And Poetry 04:01 - Currents Of The Odai 09:13 - Magnus Smiles on Suran 14:25 - Vvardenfell Vista 15:27 - Ascadian Idyll 20:24 - Shadow. Most tracks were given a title on the soundtrack CD ('Original Title') included in the Collector's Edition of Morrowind, and later another title ('Remastered Title') when Jeremy Soule released a remastered version of the Morrowind soundtrack on DirectSong. The Original Title also corresponds to the 15-track CD seen on some sites. 1 day ago  Each one is iconic. That's why ESO Morrowind looked at ES III for music inspiration. The soundtrack of ES III-V had strong identity and atmosphere and alot of the vague track in eso (imo) lacks the atmosphere of the single player games #26. The best Elder Scrolls music for me is the Forgotten Vale theme from.

Beyond a Steel Sky (Video Game 2020) SoundTracks on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more. Beyond a steel sky soundtrack. Beyond a Steel Sky Soundtrack This is additional content for Beyond a Steel Sky, but does not include the base game. Beneath A Steel Sky Soundtrack The Beneath A Steel Sky soundtrack can be downloaded here. Before using this support area be sure to check you are running on or above the recommended system requirements located at the bottom of this page. Listen to Beyond A Steel Sky (Original Soundtrack) on Spotify. Alistair Kerley Album 2020 46 songs.

Overview

There was a time when the Elder Scrolls franchise wasn't one of the biggest names in the RPG genre. That all changed in 2002 with The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, the first Elder Scrolls game to be released on both computers and consoles (Xbox). The game continued the franchise's fascination with open-ended gameplay that placed few restrictions on the gamer's actions — you might choose to follow Morrowind's main plot or lose yourself in exploring the game's vast world and its myriad sidequests. One of the consequences of this approach was that, probably involuntarily, Morrowind came to embody the difference between more non-linear Western RPGs and the traditionally story-driven JRPGs. With more than four million copies of the game sold, very strong reviews and a slew of end-of-the-year awards, Morrowind remains one of the cornerstones of Western RPGs.

To score Morrowind's soundtrack, developer Bethesda Softworks called upon the services of one of Western game music's biggest names, Jeremy Soule. Although still a relatively young composer at the time, Soule had already proven himself an expert at writing music for fantasy games with his work on the Harry Potter and Icewind Dale games, as well for Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance and Dungeon Siege. Morrowind would prove to be another steppingstone for Soule on his way to becoming one of the foremost composers for this genre of games. In a press release, Soule emphasised that the 'stunning epic quality of the Elder Scrolls series is particularly compatible with the grand, orchestral style of music I enjoy composing the most.' At the same time however, Soule was aware that due to Morrowind's free-wheeling nature, gamers might spend hours roaming a particular area in the game, similar to an MMORPG. Soule then chose to create a soft and minimalist soundtrack that wouldn't be too dominant during these long stretches of exploration, so the music wouldn't wear out its welcome.

This approach yielded mixed results, at least according to various game reviewers, who commented on the soundtrack's limited scope and on its overreliance on its main theme. Complaints were also levelled at the ambient, non-adaptive nature of the music, which failed to reflect the gamer's actions and current situation. Despite such criticism, Morrowind's soundtrack was nominated for 'Outstanding Achievement in Original Music Composition' at the Annual Academy of Interactive Arts & Sciences's Interactive Achievement Awards in 2003, where it lost out to Michael Giacchino's Medal of Honor: Frontline.

On album, Morrowind's music was first made available on a 40-minute bonus CD that came with the game's Collector's Edition. Soundtrack collectors eager to find out how well Morrowind's music played outside of the game were later given an easier way to satisfy their curiosity. In 2006, Soule released Morrowind's soundtrack via his online music store DirectSong. This new release presented the music in remastered form and added six minutes to the difficult-to-find physical album, effectively superseding it. This review refers to the original physical release.

Body

So, are Soule's efforts for Morrowind as difficult to enjoy on album as during the in-game experience? Short answer: no. Fortunately, this is one of those rare cases where the soundtrack actually plays better outside of the game. First case in point: Morrowind's main theme. It's first presented on opening track 'Nerevar Rising' in obvious fashion. The track is effectively a series of presentations of the main theme, increasing in volume and scope as the melody is being passed from harp and flute to the celli, before a climactic finish on violins and full brass caps off the piece's development. It's to Soule's credit that the theme — essentially a simple three-note motif extended by two different secondary phrases — adapts well to all these different instrumental settings. The melody communicates lyricism just as much as an optimistic spirit of adventure once the orchestra cranks up the volume. This mellifluous quality comes to benefit the easily recognisable theme and helps it to adapt to other tracks' atmospheres, instead of blatantly putting its stamp on these compositions. 'Peaceful Waters' quotes the main theme briefly on flute and teases out its reflective character, while 'The Road Most Travelled' incorporates a rendition of the theme on solo cello into its lush textures. The melody plays equally well in the more energetic setting of Morrowind's battle cues, where the theme appears on flowing violins on 'Bright Spears, Dark Blood' and subtly referenced in the background of the second half of 'Dance of Swords.'

All these quotations of the main theme are fashioned intelligently and are inserted seamlessly into the flow of the compositions. It's a shame then that the theme only occurs regularly during the album's first half and then disappears — for good actually on the original physical album. If there's any issue with the main theme and Soule's use of it then, it's that the theme is actually underused and doesn't tie the soundtrack's second half together as well as the first half. Next to the main theme, there's a number of secondary themes which are specific to particular cues as a lightly-sprung but determined melody that's heard in various disguises throughout 'The Road Most Travelled'.

And what about the soundtrack's soft and minimalist nature? Good news here as well: Morrowind's music is anything but background droning. Instead, it's a rich score with pieces that develop formidably within their limited running times — ultimately the title's biggest strength. The album's compositions showcase fluid and expertly layered orchestrations that give every instrument section of the synth orchestra an opportunity to shine. Stylistically, it never goes beyond that classical fantasy sound that's been a mainstay of many games, with its rhapsodic and heroic strains. But on Morrowind, Soule applies this formula with an assured hand and the results are thoroughly convincing.

The album alternates battle tracks with more expansive compositions that seem to describe a scenery rather than actions. Its on these cues that the soundtrack develops a spellbinding pull and occasionally even a sense of grandeur that's most befitting for a world as large at that of Morrowind. Tracks like 'Blessing of Vivec', 'Silt Sunrise' and 'Shed Your Travails' are a well of soulful string melodies that don't fail to tug at the heartstrings, yet never sacrifice their noble air. Soule's talent for creating colourful, ever-changing orchestral layers is in full force on these pieces. The opening string melody of 'Silt Sunrise' is backed by increasingly complex orchestrations before calming down for a serene melodic statement, which in turn leads to a splendid conclusion over busy string ostinati and brass interjections. 'Shed Your Travails' and 'Caprice' calm down in their middle sections to include an ethereal female choir that instils the music with a real sense of wonder. On 'Shed Your Travails', this episode leads into an appropriately otherwordly, peaceful finish over glistening violin tremoli and a dying flute melody. 'Caprice', on the other hand, frames its spiritual interlude with light-hearted string ostinati and effortlessly segues from one musical extreme into the other. 'Blessing of Vivec' is just as beautiful and emotionally gripping as these cues, but remains more austere through its jagged solo cello lead whose cautiously ascending notes are a lot less flowing than most string writing on the album. While none of these tracks run longer than three-and-a-half minutes, they pack more development and symphonic drama into their running times than other compositions twice their length.

Morrowind's action material doesn't quite reach the same lofty heights, but it's convincing enough in its own right. Again, it's standard fantasy stuff: bold brass, driving strings and dramatic percussion. But Soule uses these familiar ingredients skilfully and presents them in well-composed shape. And his ear for details ensures these tracks merit repeat listens to tease out their intricacies, such as the rapidly descending violin ostinato figures on 'Dance of Swords' and 'Ambush!' Instead of using them to simply increase the tracks' rhythmic power, Soule places the cascading motifs between beats to create ear-catching, syncopated counterrhythms. Soule's penchant for constantly changing textures benefits the action tracks as well, even though their instrumentations are less colourful than those of Morrowind's slower tracks. Frequently, Soule casts his battle cues in an ABA structure that sees these compositions calming down in their middle section after a dynamic start, before ramping up the volume again towards the end. This change in tempo and texture is quite transparent, but helps to pace these cues and avoid monotony. And Soule makes sure that tension never sags during these quieter passages through the inclusion of lighter rhythmic elements such string pizzicati, hand percussion and tinkling piano notes.

All these positive qualities help to overcome the biggest criticism one could level at the battle cues: that their sound isn't powerful enough to allow them make their full impact. To a degree, this ties in with Soule's declared approach of not trying to overwhelm the listener with his music in-game. And make no mistake, the majority of Morrowind's action tracks are energy-laden enough to satisfy, even though you sometimes wish the percussion elements would have greater presence. But it's only once Soule's strips back the many layers of his compositions and focuses on the primal qualities of repetitive rhythms that things start to sound less promising, for example on 'Drumbeat of the Dunmer' and 'Stormclouds on the Battlefield'. The only thing that the minimalist rhythms of 'Drumbeat of the Dunmer' could have going for them is a resonant, forceful sound, and Morrowind fails to provide this. Tyranny bastard's wound ending. In general, the album sounds somewhat dull and compressed, with the effect that the detailed orchestral textures, particularly on the colourful slower tracks, aren't always rendered with a desirable level of clarity. Orchestral climaxes that should soar occasionally have their wings clipped, and the sustained double bass chords on 'Over the Next Hill' have way too much presence and muddy the soundscape. Sure, this is a synthesised soundtrack from 2002, but there are enough better-sounding albums around from the same time to suggest that Morrowind's acoustic appearance is hardly reference quality.

Summary

With The Elder Scrolls III -Morrowind- Special Edition Soundtrack, Soule further cemented his elevated standing among Western game music composers. The album impressively displays why Soule would come to be regarded as a specialist for scoring fantasy games. Particularly the more measured tracks on Morrowind are beautifully orchestrated and splendidly developed, to the degree that they sometimes feel like mini-epics convincingly compressed into three minutes. To a slightly lesser degree goes for the soundtrack's battle tunes, which are nicely varied in their textures and filled with intricacies, particularly when it comes to their rhythms. All the way through, Morrowind exudes that wondrous, yet bold feeling of high adventure that's so indispensable for a fantasy score of this character, captured in the score's strong but slightly under-used main theme.

Unless you insist on listening to your scores in a lossless format, the physical release of Morrowind's score is superseded by the digital version. The disc lacks the remastering and bonus tracks of the digital version, and ends particularly underwhelmingly with 'Drumbeat of the Dunmer'. That all said, fantasy score enthusiasts should not hesitate to purchase a version of this soundtrack.

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The Elder Scrolls Iii: Morrowind Soundtrack Download Torrent

Simon Elchlepp

The Elder Scrolls Iii Morrowind Soundtrack

Training: Day 4- Filler

Start from the beginning

The boys were playing outside today. They hadn’t had much time lately to just goof around. Finding the right sex partner for them had become a job. They were in bathing suits and just getting video for fun. Footage of them this shirtless and wet would not go up online as raw footage, sad for the fandom.

Jungkook tried to flip off of the swings into the pool despite everyone trying to stop him. Luckily, he made it in, but no on else was allowed to do it. No one was daring or stupid enough to do something so dangerous...for now.

 “Where’s Namjoon?” V asked while leaning on the edge of the pool.

Jin shrugged, “He said he was gonna grab something. Probably food.”

“I should’ve told him to get something for me, then.” Yoongi said, floating on an inflatable and wearing sunglasses.

It was the first sunny day in a long time, so the boys decided to spend it outside and with each other. It wasn’t a day off, but they did all their work earlier in the day.

Jungkook asked, “Where’s Jimin?”

“Did you hit your head after landing in the pool?” J-Hope asked from the trampoline. “It’s Jimin’s day to play with (Y/N), remember?”

“Oh, right.” He giggled.

Tae suddenly shrieked and looked into the pool. Yoongi came up, laughing his head off. Jin and Hoseok laughed so much that they fell back. They had stopped bouncing when they heard the scream.

“You scared the shit out of me, hyung!” He had some tears in his eyes as he started laughing. “I thought you were like. I thought a shark had come into the water to attack me!”

“Oh yeah, a shark or something is totally just jumping into the pool to get you. Your face was priceless!”

Namjoon finally showed up with a container of cheese puffs. He held it up like a lion and screamed successfully. Yoongi quickly got out of the pool to share in the snack. Joonie pulled it away and told him to dry off first.

Jin grabbed a few and popped three in his mouth, “What took you so long?”

“I had too look for them since it wasn’t where I thought it was. They were in the laundry room.” Half lying.

Hoseok laughed, “My bad.”

Yoongi was now looking at his phone, watching Jimin and her, and he smiled, “Remember when we started this whole search?”

The guys made noises of agreement and stress. Like when you think about what you were like in middle school. Yeah, that sound or something like it.

“We’ve gotten better at picking them, too.” Namjoon said.

~~Flashback~~

It was six months ago that the boys were inside during a blackout. It was also their first off day in months. Candles were lit and phone flashlights were turned on and they decided to play truth or dare. They spun an empty beer bottle.

It was Jimin who was asked the question, “What is your number 1 kink?” by Yoongi. “You better not lie.”

“Uh,” His cheeks started to flame. “Being called Little Prince while receiving anal.” He covered his face and rolled over.

The others just went, “Awwww.” in unison.

“Would you ever get done by a girl?” J-Hope asked.

Jin complained, “It’s not your turn!”

“No, I wanna answer.” He said, sitting back up, still shy.

“Let him answer!”  Jungkook added.

Jimin waited for silence before answering, “Yes. I kinda would wanna try it, but it’s not like we can just ask someone to do that anyway.”

Then at the next concert, Jimin was introduced to Mai. She was a sex worker. Her specialty was pegging and dominating men. That was fun.

The same started happening for the other guys, but then word got out that BTS had sex workers visiting them. Word got squashed. Swept under the rug. BTS got scolded by their boss.

So instead of saying, “We’ll never do it again.” They said. “Then get us one person who will.”

“There’s not a single person on this planet who can deal with everything you guys want. It’s impossible.”

RM spoke, “We are sexually active men who’d rather sleep with someone not a part of work.” He said, knowing a few of them had fooled around once or five times or continuously...like him. “If there are people who get paid for sex, there’s someone willing to do it for us and only us. Just have to find them.”

Namjoon knew that if there was a way to keep it contained, then boss would be more likely to say yes. The first girls and guys and people who they tried this new thing with were sex workers. They just didn’t know how to keep their mouths shut.

Unless it was money. Paid them off. Went towards the only people they knew they could trust no matter what, ARMY. At first it was just random fans, but the personalities or bodies weren’t compatible. That’s how the interview process came into play. At that point, they had slept with or tried to sleep with around 124 people.

Only about 75 had files. It was best just to give them numbers. That way, neither side would get attached. BTS couldn’t stay that cold-hearted, that detached for something so intimate. The files had numbers, the boys knew their names.

They thought that they had found the perfect man at #153. He didn’t speak, selectively mute, very affectionate and didn’t seem to complain about what the guys were into. There was an overwhelming curiosity in his soul that surpassed any dislike to a certain kink.

He fell in love, though. His bias had been Jin, but his heart chose Hoseok. Hobi didn’t want a relationship and just didn’t feel the same. Subject #153 was just sexual relief to him, a set of holes that reacted when they fucked. So he left within the week.

All the BTS members really liked him, too. He was cute and sexy. A great listener and made them think of non-verbal ways to let their partner communicate if they were going too far or not. They learned sign language for casual conversation since they thought he was gonna last.

It took them a while to find another candidate and stayed away from guys for a bit. They sought out cold lovers for two months, but that was just awful. They didn’t emote much, which was a bore. Never again.

They reached the 200′s faster than they had planned. It was about 40 partners a month. Sometimes less, but sometimes a bit more. Random hookups backstage didn’t count.

The only reason the boys were able to continue this lewd cycle was because it was a sexual outlet with a positive outcome. The boys were able to focus more. Their stress levels had gone down as a whole.

~~Flashback End~~

Now there was (Y/N) who was doing well. She was a lot like #153, but a bit more professional. There were a few boundaries that she set for herself. A few of them, she had broken. Well, she would have if Jin hadn’t pulled her away from her own room. (Y/N) had a good heart. Her body was nice to hold.

Namjoon and Yoongi held hands as they floated on their colorful rafts. Namjoon quickly let go as he felt a tug on it. Taehyung had gotten his revenge on Suga by flipping him over, causing laughter from everyone. Yoongi chased his attacker into the house.

Seokjin and Hobi were also inside for a bit, doing some work or laundry. Jungkook enjoyed the trampoline by himself, doing amazing tricks. Jimin came out in a white sweater and dark jeans, a bit angry or sad looking.

Most of the time when he looked like that, something had messed up his Little Space mentality, or he was really let down. He called for Namjoon who quickly jumped out of the water. She probably failed. It was Daddy’s job now to fix things.

He wrapped himself in a towel and put on his shirt, though he was sure it’d be coming off pretty soon. When Namjoon entered the house, Jimin was waiting with folded arms. No tugging on Daddy’s shirt begging him to rewrite what the mean lady did to him.

“I’m mad at you.”

Daddy was confused, “Daddy’s confused. What are you mad about?”

“You know what.”

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heya:) do you by any chance have any party game fics (idk, truth or dare, fuck marry kill, spin the bottle, never have i ever...) that aren't "starts with a spin" and "right hand red" or "'check this hand 'cause i'm marvellous" because, obviously, those are classics! but i've been craving fics like these and your recs are always AWESOME, so if you have some, that would make my day! ♥♥♥ fucking love your blog btw

DO I KNOW ANY PARTY GAME FICS?? DO I??

(spoiler alert: the answer is fuck yes I have a ton of them, this is one of my all-time favorite tropes!)

Drarry & Party Games Fic Recs

Starts With A Spin by Maxine (120K)- It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there’s almost no way out again. Except to keep playing.You can’t tell me not to include the most quintessential party games fic ever on my party games rec list! Much like Drarry’s relationship, this fic starts with a game of spin the bottle and then develops over a series of fucking amazing funny REALISTIC teenage drinking games. And there’s a real, developed plot too! Oh, and smut. Don’t forget the smut. Perfection!!

Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill (73K)- Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.I challenge you to find one person who has read this fic and not loved it to death. Like Starts With A Spin, there are tons of fun games that bring our boys together, but unlike Starts With A Spin, they are into each other from the beginning and it is a sweet lovely romance and MY FAVORITE THING is Harry teaching Draco to cast a Patronus.

check this hand ‘cause I’m marvelous by lumosed_quill (8K)- Harry’s had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.You know, on my own I probably wouldn’t have thought to include this one for party games because they’re at a bar, but they’re playing DARTS so it TOTALLY FITS and I’m so glad you mentioned it. Draco is a sexy fucking bastard here. Sexy. Fucking. Bastard. Do you like sexy Draco? READ IT.

How to Handle an Enemy by who_la_hoop (7.5K)- Everyone knows that it’s no fun playing truth or dare with a Slytherin. But add a little Veritaserum, a scheming duo of Slytherin girls and surprising things can be revealed. Particularly about the fine line between love and hate…I fucking ADORE this fic!! It (and its equally-amazing-but-lacking-party-games-sequel Turnabout is Fair Play) is one of the hottest things I’ve ever read. The Slytherins play veritaserum Truth or Dare and then– ENTER THEIR SURPRISE PARTY GUEST: THE BOY WHO IS THE OBJECT OF DRACO’S LUST. And there’s WANKING PUBLIC WANKING. 

Spin the Wand by WrittenSins (3K)- In the spirit of inter-house unity, the eighth years have a small party. In an attempt to get Harry and Ginny back together, Hermione and Ron come up with the plan of a rigged game of Spin the Wand, but not all goes as planned. Excerpt: “The idea was simple: A game of spin the bottle, but instead of a bottle, a toy wand, and instead of a game of chance, Hermione had spelled the wand to land on whoever the spinner most desired to kiss.”One of those fics where the summary says it all- and you’re probably already reading the fic, not sticking around to hear me babble about how cute it is XD

Silk Scarves and Enchanted Handcuffs by TommyLane (28.5K)- It was only supposed to be for seven minutes and then the blindfold would come off and he’d be free from the dark cupboard and his mystery partner - only Harry was no longer sure he wanted it to end.This fic is brilliant. It’s pretty much just one long party with one long game in which Harry and Draco are blindfolded and shoved into a cupboard together and then subsequently handcuffed. YEAH. And Harry is like “WHO IS THIS HOT PIECE OF ARSE I’M KISSING I WANT TO DO THIS FOREVER” and then he’s like “OH IT WAS MALFOY….STILL WANT TO DO IT FOREVER.” Mhmm. Yep.

Teach Me by lauren3210 (3K) “I’ve decided to help you out,” Draco had said earlier that evening, plonking himself down on the sofa next to Potter.Draco benevolently offers to teach Harry to play poker. And then he not-so-benevolently draws him into a private game of strip poker ;)

One Night at the Leaky by birdsofshore (12.5K)- Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers.What’s better than eighth year truth or dare? ADULT truth or dare. Especially amazing funny lovely adult truth or dare in which Harry tries to win a date with Draco Malfoy

Games Night by @agentmoppet​ (7K)- Harry has no idea why Hermione decided that an inter-house Games Night would be a good idea, but he’s here now, and he intends to beat Malfoy, no matter what game he chooses. But, who would have thought muggle games could be full of so much… tension?Aaaah Harry and Draco being super competitive playing various muggle games

Trick or Treat by amorette (9.5K)- Harry had no idea that he was such a fetishist - a fact which he discovers on Halloween.This fic has so many good things- Draco loses a bet and has to wear a girl’s uniform to the Halloween party. Harry is distracted and jealous all night. A game of “trick or treat.” And kinky kinky, very hot smut. 

The Lovers’ Circle by nicevenn (13.5K)- Tired of feeling alone, Harry agrees to play a matchmaking game with the other eighth years. It’s just a game, after all. What harm could it do?AAAH these tarot cards match up Harry and Draco because they’re compatible af, but they refuse to do the task (THE AMAZING TASK) they are given, so Harry and Draco have to endure a curse! And by curse I mean they’re bonded in an incredibly creative and helpful way. FLUFF and CHRISTMAS

Corruptela Vox by Constant Vigilance (5.5K)- Draco’s kink is revealed. Pretty much a PWP. Parselsmut Parselsmut Parselsmut. With a side of truth or dare, embarrassment, and some fluff.

Never Have I Ever by faithwood (0.5K)- Hogwarts students play the “Never have I ever” game.Can a fic be a classic if it’s only 690 words long? APPARENTLY SO because this is required reading and it’s perfect. 

Restraint by @fleetofshippyships (153.5K)- Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it. Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.So as you can probably guess, there’s quite a bit of angst in this fic, but the development of their relationship reads really realistically, and if you’re into the enemies-to-reluctant-lovers trope (aren’t we all?!) then you will absolutely enjoy this blessedly LONG fic, which features plenty of games to out Harry and Draco to their friends ;) (warning for brief but detailed Harry/George)

Bond, Shag, or Crucio by catsintheattic (5K)- I hope you all realise how asinine this situation is,“ says Draco as he looks down his nose at the assembled party.Just a short little fic in which the Slytherins and Gryffindors join together for a revealing game of the wizard equivalent for fuck, marry, kill ;)

Seven Minutes in the Garden of Wizarding Delights by Zahra (3K)- Draco Malfoy is resolutely heterosexual; Pansy Parkinson will attest to this. So will Queenie Greengrass, Orla Quirke, Eloise Midgen, and if pressed, Blaise Zabini.There is Seven Minutes in Heaven and Draco is in MAJOR denial and his inner monologue is hilarious. 

Reigning Champ by LadySlytherin (14K)- If there’s one thing every Slytherin loves, it’s a good game. Too Hot was played at every party Slytherin House had hosted for years, and Draco had won every round since the first time he played. Pride in his title as Champion was to be expected. Stating it like a challenge in front of the returning Eighth-Year Gryffindors? Not Draco’s brightest move, to be sure. Combine the challenge with mistletoe, feminine wiles and secret plots, Ron Weasley’s temper, and an unexpected connection with a Dragonologist and Draco’s Christmas just got a whole lot more complicated!I’ve never seen a game quite like this before- the first person to touch the other during a kiss loses. And Draco thinks he’s so cool and invincible but he’s NOT because when it comes to Harry he just can’t restrain himself! As you may imagine, it features lots of non-HD kisses for game purposes, but also be warned that Draco goes on a date with Charlie. Endgame 100% Drarry though!

Veritaserum Truth or Dare by ElectricBlueLilies (2K)- The returning eighth years bond over a game of Truth or Dare.Short, adorable, easy fluff

You Already Know What’s Next by silverdawn89 (14.5K)- It’s about Truth or Dare, except it’s not really about Truth or Dare at all. Or: there is alcohol and a bunch of twenty-somethings play embarrassing party games.Harry is Draco’s neighbor, and he is very LOUD and ANNOYING until Draco is finally invited to one of his parties and it has to be a prank only it’s not

Lockdown by Vorabiza (35K)- Four Gryffindors and four Slytherins under a forced lockdown in the potions classroom for two days.A lot of Harry being a confident, sexy bastard who’s done everything you could ever think to mention in a game of Never Have I Ever. Also some exhibitionism for good measure :P