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blognotfound · 4 years

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@mytalkingraccoon nominated me for this shit ugh

1. think of the last person who said i love you, do you think they meant it? he did, unfortunately i didn’t. 2. would you date an 18yr old at the age you are now? i mean i’m 18 so 3. when was the last you were aggravated and happy at the same time? like a month ago during s 4. would you ever smile at a stranger? yeah and i do cuz i’m a nice fucking person 5. is there someone mad bc you’re dating or talking to the person you are? not currently no 6. have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? yeah and i’ll link it 7. what exactly are you wearing right now? an old volleyball shirt and that’s literally it 8. how often do you listen to music? practically every waking moment 9. do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans fo sho 10. do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014? i mean 11. are you a social or antisocial person? i’m a hybrid 12. have you ever kissed someone who’s name begins with the letter a? yeah and that was def a mistake 13. what about the letter r? no i don’t think so 14. can you drive a stick shift? yes but will i crash it? also yes 15. do you care if people talk badly about you? not really, just have the balls to say it to my face if you do 16. are you going out of town soon? no i don’t think so 17. when was the last time you cried? months ago 18. have you ever told someone you loved them? mhm 19. if you could change your eye color, would you? yeah maybe like a greenish color 20. is there a boy who you would absolutely everything for? my dad ig? maybe my guy bsf? 21. name something you dislike about the say you’re having. my skin is dry but that’s it 22. is it cute when guys kiss you on the forehead? i guess 23. are you dating the last person you talked to? nope thank god 24. what are you sitting on rn? the floor lmao 25. does anybody regularly tell you they love you? nope 26. have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? who hasn’t 27. who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my f*ckbuddy 28. do you get a lot of colds? no i have an immune system like the fucking navy seals 29. where is the shirt you’re wearing from? from my high school 30. does anyone hate you? probably? 31. do you have empty alcohol bottles hidden in your room? no i throw them away cuz i’m not a pussy 32. do you like watching scary movies? yeah sometimes 33. do you wanna get your tongue pierced? god no 34. if you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? i mean they all suck but sophomore year of high school ig 35. did you have a dream last night? yes it was a weird ass dream with bucky the winter soldier and ben hardy archangel ok 36. when was the last time you told someone you love them? two days ago 37. do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? god i hope not marriage is for the weak im sorry 38. do you think someone has feelings for you? yeah. feelings of hatred 39. do you think someone is thinking of you rn? yeah probably 40. did you have a good day yesterday? yeah it was decent 41. think back 2 months ago. were you in a relationship? no 42. in the next 48hrs, will you hang out with a girl? yeah my sister lmao 43. has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? yeah but i don’t think they meant it 44. what’s the best part about school? LEAVING lmaooooo 45. do you have any pictures on your facebook? pft who has facebook anymore 46. do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? no i just text them lmao 47. do you replay things that happen in your head? yes constantly it’s a problem 48. were you single last summer? nope 49. is anything in your life like it was 2 years ago? god no everything is different 50. what are you supposed to be doing rn? nothing?? i don’t think?? 51. do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? no i don’t have daddy issues 52. are you nice to everyone hahahhahahahahhaha 53. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? unfortunately 54. did you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yeah? what kinda question 55. are you good at hiding your feelings? sometimes 56. do you think you like someone? i do not 57. have you ever kissed someone who’s name starts with j? no i’m pretty sure i haven’t? 58. do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? boys, girls are too sensitive and too gossipy and too 59. has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? LMAO YES AND THIS IS A FUNNY STORY BUT 60. do you hate anyone? no, i got no room in my life for h8 ;) 61. how’s your heart? i mean i got low blood pressure it could be beating a lil harder 62. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? several things 63. have you ever cried over a guy? yes and i��m not ashamed 64. who is probably talking a load of crap about you rn? one of my exes maybe 65. are your toenails painted pink? no. oddly specific question 66. will your next kiss be a mistake? possibly? 67. do girls love it when their bfs cry? no?!?!?! what the hell 68. have your pants ever fallen down in public? no geez 69. who was the last person you were on the phone with? my dad 70. how do you look rn? fresh asf you already know 71. do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yes idgaf i’m myself around everyone 72. can you commit to one person? yeah 73. do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yes and these questions are getting kinda repetitive 74. have you ever felt replaced? several times 75. did you wake up cranky? no 76. are you a jealous person? generally no 77. are relationships ever worth it? yeah and if you don’t think so your relationships have been toxic sry 78. anyone you’re giving up on? not rn 79. currently wanting to see anyone? yes, literally anyone. i’d like to see another human being 80. name something you have to do tomorrow. hydrate lmao 81. last person you cried in front of? oh geez it was 82. is there someone you’ll never forget? yeah i have a good memory 83. do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? i ain’t got feelings 84. if the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing rn? chillin& stuff 85. are you over your past? is anyone? 86. have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? yeeeet yeah 87. is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? mhm 88. if your fist true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents would you accept? AAHAHAHAHHAHA hellll nah 89. so the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3am, do you let them in? yeah they’re just coming over to f*ck again 90. have you ever liked someone who your friends hates? yeah 91. will you be in a relationship in 2 months? hope not 92. is there anyone you know with the name michael? probably shout out to micheal 93. have you ever kissed a matthew? ugh no but i’ve been tempted to 94. were you in a relationship in january? how was it going? yes& great! 95. were you happy with the person you liked in march? no i was not 96. is the last person you texted attractive? eh 97. who do you have texts from? my mom, my guy bsf, and my f*ckbuddy 98. if the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “oh, cool!” (and also move on lmao) 99. have you ever kissed someone older than you? mm yeah 100. who’s in your pfp with you? no one??? 101. ever kissed under fireworks? yes i have ;) 102. has anybody ever given you butterflies? ofc lmao

tagging - the person reading this muahahahahahaha

#if u read this whole thing #you have to do it #thems the rules #super unique tag #personal #tag game

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richtea-biscuit · 4 years

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Thank you @a-fritterer for tagging me. Prepare for a lot of answers in the negative

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

It was my mum so I’m confident that she did

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

No, 18 is slightly on the young side. Plus, I had to deal with many of them at uni last year and it made me realise what a difference 3 years can make

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Probably never, if I’m going to have mixed feelings about something, it’s not going to be that mix

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do if I accidentally make eye-contact just to be polite

5. Is there someone who’s mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I’m not dating anyone so no

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Yes, a song my grandad loved came on shuffle

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Gryffindor pyjamas

8. How often do you listen to music?

All day, every day

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?

Wow, you can really tell the age of this game. In hindsight, I would say my life has changed, I feel like I know myself much better which has made me a lot happier. Even when life isn’t going great, at least I know who I am and no longer feel lost in my own body and mind

11. Are you a social or antisocial person?

I’m pretty social when I’m with people I know and like

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter “A”?

Yes, it’s not a pleasant memory though

13. What about “R”?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Technically yes but not legally

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yes, I’m pretty paranoid about that. It’s turned me into a chronic people pleaser

16. Are you going out of town soon?

17. When was the last time you cried?

Whenever I watched series 2 of Derry Girls. The last episode made me cry, no shame

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Platonically, lots. I tell my friends and family I love them all the time. Romantically, that person whose name begins with A and there are regrets

19. If you could change your eye colour, would you?

No, my eyes are the only thing I’m happy with

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

Jeon Jungkook lol

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having

I feel like it’s been a day of Procrastination because I’m so tired-out from my mum’s birthday party yesterday

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

I like the thought of it. And I love it in fanfic, it makes me soft

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

24. What are you sitting on right now?

My bed

25. Does anyone regularly tell you they love you (other than family)?

@penicillinjimin tells me at least semi-regularly

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

My nan

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yes, RIP me every winter

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I want to say Primark but I don’t know

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I can drink legally, I do34n’t need to be hiding it

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I can take it or leave it

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Honestly, the thought gives me the ick

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

If I had to, the year of the “A” but I don’t really want to. I think I wouldn’t be the person I am now if I deleted it, and for the worse because that was the start of a very long journey of realising I was asexual. I think that about all my experiences, good and bad, they shaped the person I am today

35. Did you have a dream last night?

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

My mum yesterday

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

And not push away and guy that pays attention to me out of fear? lol

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Not anymore they don’t, I made sure of that

39. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now?

The person reading this? Am I funny yet?

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Yes

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

44. What’s the best part about school?

I loved learning but I didn’t like the other children

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Other than my profile picture, they’re all about 5 years old because I hide from cameras

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Do people actually do that?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

I try to surpress it

48. Were you single over the last summer?

I’m the hopeless romantic that’s forever alone

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Not really

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Whatever I feel like

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

No, I don’t waste my time like that. I waste it in infinite other ways instead

52. Are you nice to everyone?

Even when I don’t want to be. I just can’t be rude

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Friend-wise, yes

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Definitely yes. Even if I weren’t asexual, it would be yes. I absolutely despise cheating. My friend cheated on her boyfriend once and we had a massive row about it because she didn’t like that I wasn’t on her side

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes, I cover them up with other feelings. It’s my special skill

56. Do you think you like someone?

It’s very hard for me to tell. It requires a 10-page thesis for me to work these things out. Not that it really matters because like I said, I get scared and turn into a bitch to push people away

57. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with a “J”?

Yes - spin the bottle. I got dragged into it

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Boys. I think that’s more because it’s what I’m used to from when I was at school

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

No, I get fairly apathetic

61. How’s your heart?

I’ll ask it. “Hey heart, how you doing?” It says da-dum

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy

Yes, I was an idiot.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Nobody I can think of

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

I hope not

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry, correct?

I feel like “love” is the wrong word. Boys should be encouraged to show their emotions though, crying is good for you

68. Have your trousers even fallen down in public?

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mum when we were in proper lockdown

70. How do you look right now?

A face only a mother could love. It’s bedtime so there’s no make-up and my hair’s a mess

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

72. Can you commit to one person?

Yes

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yes

75. Did you wake up cranky?

76. Are you a jealous person?

Yes, I try to keep a check on it though

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like tot think that they are, but maybe fiction has given me an idealistic view point

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

My friends

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Brush my teeth

81. Last person you cried in front of?

I actually don’t remember

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Many

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

Yes, Jungkook is my man and he is protective of all ARMY (I’m joking, don’t worry I’m not crazy. Just spicing my answers up)

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

85. Are you over your past?

Is anyone ever? Like I said before, I think it’s all important to who I am now so I keep key elements of it fresh in my mind as reminders to not make the same mistakes and let myself get hurt like that again

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yes

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I don’t know about “true love” but if the person I thought I loved came to my door, I would tell them to fuck off

89. The last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM, do you let them in?

It’d probably be an emergency and we’re not on bad terms as such so yeah

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

No, they hating came later

91. Will you be in a relationship in two months?

I highly doubt it

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

My mum’s friend

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

I was emotionally invested in my relationship with the Jungkook photocard I had on the wall next to my bed. It was at head height when I sat down so when I was going through tough times, I would talk to it so I didn’t feel so lonely. It was an amazing listener lol. And it’s answer was always “love yourself” and I’d say “You’re right as always. Thanks Kookie” (I swear I’m not crazy)

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in march?

Same as January

96. Is the last person you texted attractive?

Objectively speaking I think @penicillinjimin is very pretty. I don’t find her attractive but that’s nothing personal

97. Who do you have texts from?

Domino’s (with discount codes, it’s true love)

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Ok?

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

It’s just me

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

No, fireworks are there to be seen guys

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yes

Tagging whoever wants to do it

#my hands hurt from all this typing #how did this take me an hour?#tag games #I enjoyed it though

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urlocal-loca · 4 years

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When we were young

Namjoon x y/n

"When we grow up I'm gonna marry you!"

"R-really?" You asked while wiping the tears on your cheeks. You had been crying because of your classmates who bullied you.

"Yes! So stop crying. We're still 6 years old now but when you turn 18 I'm gonna propose to you and I'm going to protect you always."

"Promise?" You asked.

"Yup. Promise!"

You laughed at the memory. It has been 17 years since Namjoon and You made that promise and you're 23 now. You might have hold on to that promise until you were 18. You rejected all boys who liked you. You-

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of your phone. You picked it up and Namjoon's irritated voice greeted you. "Where the heck are you Y/N?"

"Hello to you too. I'm nearly there can't you wait for 5 minutes?" You couldn't hide the annoyance in your voice. Namjoon had asked you for a favor, to bring his phone to the studio since he forgot it in the dorm and you have the extra key. The phone he's using to call you is Jin's, which he has been using to call you non-stop for the past 5 minutes.

"Tsk. Ok. Just hurry and don't even dare open my phone." He hanged up, leaving you angry and grumpy. He dared 'tsked' me? You angrily thought. And not just that, he also hanged up on you. For someone asking a favor he's awfully arrogant.

Great.

Just great.

You stared at Namjoon's phone at your hand. You already tried to open it but his pass code is unguessable. You tried his birthday, his mom's birthday and heck! You even tried yours and failed. You threw it on the seat beside yours, earning a glare from the driver, and picked it up again.

The cab pulled up in front of the studio. You paid your fare and got out of the car, the cold wind of November greeted you, blowing your hair away from your face gently. You closed your eyes trying to appreciate the weather when you feel a pair of eyes watching you. You pulled your coat tightly around your body and sighed. You can see Rapmon already waiting for you with Jin beside him eating a burger.

You walked up to the gate and smile at the guard and once the guard let you in Namjoon marched up to you and snatched the phone out of your hands.

'Gosh! This ungrateful bastard.' You thought but said nothing. You glared at Namjoon who's checking his phone. "Hello _____-ssi." You looked up to Jin and smiled. "Hi oppa." You replied.

"Come on Hyung! They're waiting for us." The frown appeared once again on your forehead when you heard Namjoon. "Yah. Aren't you gonna say thank you to Y/N?" Jin also frowned at Namjoon, not liking the disrespect he's showing you.

"Thanks," Namjoon turned to you for a quick second then turned to Jin again. "Can we go now?"

Jin threw his arms around you and led you inside the studio. "What are you doing now Hyung?" Jin ignored Namjoon and pulled you to where the rest of the members are. They smiled and greeted you. Jungkook tackled you with a hug. You are his favorite noona after all and he hasn't seen you for days.

"Just finished practicing the new choreo?" You asked while ruffling the maknae's wet hair from sweat. "Yup! Wanna see?" He excitedly pulled your hands but you shook your head no.

"You're tired Kookie. Just rest now and let me see later ok?" You reassured Jungkook when he gave you a disappointed look. He smiled and hug you again. "Now get off me Kookie, you smell."

You saw Namjoon staring daggers at you across the table and you also glared at him. He gave you a last annoyed look before turning to look at his phone again. "Want some?" Jin offered you some chips which you gladly accepted.

You stayed at the studio and helped around. Jungkook happily showed you the new choreography and even teach you some moves. You ate dinner with them and when it was finally time to go home they refused to let you hail a cab.

"_____-ssi it's already dark outside and you can't really trust cab drivers nowadays." Worry evident in J-hope's voice.

"Noona you should listen to Hyung. It's for your own good." Jungkook seconded. You sighed in defeat.

"Rapmon send her home safely." Both you and Namjoon turned to Jin with bewildered look on your faces. "You owe her one for bringing your phone here." Jin sharply said to Namjoon before he could open his mouth to protest. Namjoon silently went to his car and opened the driver's door. He stood there with an irritated look on his face while waiting for you. "Hurry up!" He said.

You hugged each member and Jin gave you a wink before ruffling your hair. You opened the door to the back seat when Namjoon stopped you and motioned you beside him. The annoyed look never left his face. "Don't make me look like a chauffeur." Ugh, men and their prideful ass.

The ride back to your apartment has been silent. Neither of you talked and the 25 minutes inside Namjoon's car seemed like eternity for you. The car stopped in front of your apartment and you got out immediately, desperate to leave the awkward and suffocating ride you shared. You took a deep breath as if you have been deprived of air and its your first time having it.

You looked at Namjoon who once never even turned to look a you. "Thanks for the ride. Bye. Be safe." You said and he just nodded his head before driving off again. You went up to your room and opened the window to the veranda.

You can still see his black car from where you are. As you stare at the black car, a memory pop up to your mind.

It was as if you were back to the past.

Back to your 18th party.

----------------------

Black, the color of darkness. The color that painted the sky when you stubbornly waited for the boy you love for hours despite your parents worried calls.

"Y/N sweetie," you didn't even look at your mom. "Maybe Namjoon is busy. I'm pretty sure he will call you later so why don't you come inside first. You've been here for four hours already. Honey?" You felt your mom's hand on your shoulder.

It's your 18th birthday and your parents held a surprise party for you. You've been dressed up and a lot of your friends and classmates came. They gave you gifts and birthday messages. You were happy and grateful but something- no, someone is making you more excited.

Today is the day Namjoon will ask you to marry him, like what he promised 12 years ago when both of you were still 6 years old. You've been waiting for him since you woke up. Been waiting since he made that promise. You're feeling mixed emotions. Nervous, scared, anxious, happy and excited.

Its been 4 hours, 32 minutes, and 16 seconds when the party ended. All guests already left and traces of the recent party had been already cleaned. You've been waiting outside and your parents are getting angry at your stubbornness. The only reason they allowed you to wait that long is because its your birthday.

You sighed and stood up. You followed your mom inside the house.

You are reminded of the past events when Namjoon started acting cold to you. He won't pick up his phone and won't agree for you to meet up. You ignored it since the comeback of BTS was near and Namjoon must be tired.These thoughts gnawed at your heart, clouding your thoughts. He's not your boyfriend but both of you were more than friends to each other. Your special relationship is unspoken but its there. You both knew that. Or is it only you?

After you took a shower, you lay at your bed not letting yourself to over think. You were thinking of waiting for him to call but seeing that it's already past midnight you decided not to. You pushed any doubts and worries away and closed your eyes. Tomorrow. I'll talk to him tomorrow. You said to yourself and sleep.

You sent a message to Namjoon saying you will wait for him at the cafe you both often go to. You took a cab to get there and waited for him. While waiting for him, you busied yourself and read all messages you received in Facebook. Sending replies to all. You were typing a reply for a friend when someone tap your back. You spun around and came face to face with Jimin. Disappointment was all over your face but you smiled at the younger boy. "Hi Jiminie."

"Noona belated happy birthday! We were planning to go to your house but Namjoon-hyung suddenly announced that he's dating coordinator-noona and we celebrated all night. Sorry we couldn't make it to your birthday." You froze up in your seat. It was like Jimin poured cold water over you. You forced a smile to Jimin and took out your phone. You typed Namjoon's number slowly yet nervously.

After four rings you were greeted by a voice who just woke up. All hope you desperately hold on to shattered. "Hello?" A girl's voice said. You didn't say anything and the girl asked again.

"Is that mine? Who is it?"

Tears streamed down your cheeks. The tears you've been holding back poured out after hearing Namjoon's voice but still you hold on to your phone. " It says Y/N." There was a pause but Namjoon said, "Turn that thing off and come here baby."

You hear the sound of your heart breaking. You can feel the shattering of you heart into little pieces cutting you up inside. The call ended with the giggle of the girl and it also ended your 12 years of waiting for the man you love who didn't love you back.

It was only you who remembered that stupid and childish promise. Only you who kept it. Now that you're realizing how stupid you are to believe in the promise a child made, you laughed. With tears pouring out of your eyes you laughed.

"Noona? Are you ok?" Jimin's voice is panicking. "What's wrong?" You didn't even realize Jimin was still there. You looked at the younger boy and you laughed even more. Jimin looked at you strangely but worry is still on his face. He stretch his arms out to you and you swatted it. Your laugh became hollow and bitter until you stopped laughing completely. You stood up and went out of the cafe.

It was true.

First love never works out.

-------------------

You snapped back to reality and saw that the black car was already out of sight.

"Noona where are you?"

"I'm already here Kookie. Oh! I can see you." You waved at Jungkook and hang up the phone. You parked your car and Jungkook escorted you out. He led you inside the bar filled with bighit staffs and crews. The whole place was rented out for the occasion. You are celebrating with them the success of BTS' new album.

As you approached the table with the other six members, you feel the judging eyes of Namjoon on you. You looked up and saw that you were right. He rolled his eyes away when your eyes met. 'Psh. Childish.' You also rolled your eyes and take the seat beside Jungkook.

After your fourth shot of tequila every face you see is already a blur. You can never really hold your alcohol. You took another glass that the already drunk Yoongi gave you and gulped it down. You laugh and let Taehyung drag you to the dance floor. You waved your hands in the air and jumped up and down, imitating Taehyung's movement.

You danced for about half an hour, Taehyung nowhere to be seen. You are dancing with a crew you can't even remember and things are getting a little risky. His hands roamed around your body, snaking his arms to your waist while his lips touched your neck. You pulled away feeling uncomfortable. You're drunk but you still have your wits. If you want to get laid, it wouldn't be with this man.

You pushed at the crowd, wanting to get away from the heated bodies on the dance floor. You were almost out when you suddenly bumped into someone.

"S-sorry," your hands clutched the man's shirt to steady yourself. You looked up and immediately removed your hands as if you've just been burned. You might be a little drunk and your sight blurry but you will never mistake his hard chest, his strong arms that now gripped yours and his scent. God. You loved the way he smelled. He still uses the same cologne after all these years and you'll recognize this smell wherever you go. "N-namjoon."

You turn away from him, shaking his hands off, and went to the other direction but he grabbed you again by the arm and pulled you towards the table where the other drunk members are. "I'm taking her back to her home." Namjoon announced, raising your arm he is holding. Jin who is still sober nodded and wish you good night.

You were thinking of resisting but saw no point so you dropped it and let Namjoon drag you to his car. He's not drunk. He can hold his alcohol very well, unlike you.

As you sat in the seat beside him you are reminded of the time you were sitting in this same spot last week. Just like before, none dared to speak. After a few minutes- that seemed like ages for you, you close your eyes and let the silence and the cool air lull you to sleep.

You woke up in Namjoon's arms. He's carrying you bridal style and you're already inside your apartment. He carefully opened the door to your room and gently lay you down the bed. You met his eyes and sit down, swaying as you feel your headache growing stronger. You stared at his back as he made his way to the door, ready to leave.

'I still love you.'

Namjoon stayed still, his hands on the door while he look at you with a surprised face. You wanted to run away and jump from the veranda when you realized that you spoke out loud but you remained sitting, thinking of ways to get out of this situation. 'Aaaaargh! I don't care anymore!' You stand up and approached the still statued Namjoon. 'Come what may.'

You kissed him.

You pressed your soft lips to his and trailed butterfly kisses to his cheeks down to his jaw. It's thanks to your stiletto that you can reach this giant named Namjoon. You pulled your head away and stared at him. He stared back at you. You cupped his face with your hand and kissed him again. He stiffened once again but responded. Namjoon kissed you back hungrily, turning your innocent kisses to passionate ones.

Your tongues fought wildly, dancing to the wild rhythm you both share. Both of you are in a desert and you are each other's oasis, hungrily lapping each other up as if there's no tomorrow. Namjoon carried you to the bed, with your legs wrapped around his waist and your mouth still linked, not breaking the kiss. He pulled away and threw you to the bed gently resulting a giggle from you. You watched him undress down to his pants until only his boxer is left. You looked at him with hungry eyes, lust clouding your sight.

He crawled towards you and trailed butterfly kisses to your neck down to your clothed breast. You wore a black string dress which was easy to remove and in seconds you were already naked, your dress and underwear already torn to pieces.

Well, Namjoon wouldn't be Namjoon if he wasn't the God of Destruction.

He took a nipple in his mouth while looking in your eyes. He slowly flicked your already erected nipple with his tongue and you arched your back, offering yourself to him more. "Mmmm," You moaned. "Sh-shit." Namjoon chuckled at your reaction when he took on your left mound and sucked on it while his right hand playing with the other. He kept on playing with your breast while his mouth went lower leaving open mouthed kiss on your belly until he reached your soaked core. He pulled you closer to him by roughly pulling your legs. He left marks and love bites to your inner thigh and without breaking eye contact he kissed your womanhood.

A gasp escaped your mouth as he licked your slit open and flicked your clit, a new wave of pleasure filling you up. You can't help but moan and offer your hips to him more. He dipped his tongue further to your core and you grabbed his hair, feeling impatient. Namjoon thrusted his tongue in and out of you and you just can't help but scream his name in delight.

"F-fuck!" He released your legs after you orgasmed. He licked his lips and smirked at you. The image of him licking your slick instantly made you feel horny again. "I need you Joonie."

"Beg." You felt annoyed seriously but lust was controlling you and you can't make rational decisions. Right now you just want to be filled with Namjoon and you're not letting your pride ruin this moment.

You can't. "Please. Plea- aargh! Just fuck me already Namjoon! I fucking need to be fucked by you." You were already whimpering and you pressed your legs together, trying to relieve yourself somehow.

"Haha language honey." He pulled out his member out of his boxer and position himself at your entrance. He teased your slit with his tip but stopped when you cursed at him, smirking at your impatience. He thrusted into you and the both of you instantly found rhythm together.

"Fuck ________!" Namjoon growled to your ear. His pace became faster and your moans filled the room together with the slapping of your skins. You both screamed when you reached your orgasms. He stayed still, pumping his seeds inside you, then fell at your side.

Both of you fell asleep like that and you woke up the next day with a horrible headache. You sat up and saw that no one was beside you. Was that all just a dream?

You washed up and went to your kitchen to make breakfast. When you were about to turn, you were surprised to see Namjoon holding two cups of coffee. "Uhh... hey?" You are taken aback so it came out like a question more than a greeting. This is gonna be so awkward.

"Hey. Coffee?" Namjoon raised the other glass and offered it to you which you graciously accepted. You both seated yourselves at the small dining table and said nothing. Just sipping on your coffees and awkwardly waiting for the other to say something.

Your eyes roamed everywhere but the person in front of you. You didn't dare look at him afraid that you might say something you'd regret. "Uhh," He was the one who decided to break the silence. "Can we talk?"

"Do they know you're here?" You quietly asked, wanting to change the topic. You know that this will happen. It was inevitable. You just didn't know that it would come a lot sooner than expected and you're still not ready. You imagined this scene a lot, you and him talking about the past, you confronting him about how useless and pathetic he made you feel and in every scenario you win and had the last word but now that it's become reality, you wanted to avoid it. Ironic.

"I'm sorry."

You stopped for a moment and looked at him. You feel your heart tightened and it felt like a big lump found itself in your throat. "W-what?" Tears started to well on your eyes. "You're sorry? For what? For making a fool out of me? For making me feel that I was special, that I was loved? For telling that stupid promise and leaving me to expect you to keep it? Huh?! What are you sorry for?"

You were uncontrollably sobbing now. Adrenaline was coursing through your blood. The bottled emotions you kept are now out in the open. You wanted to say more but words won't come out and you cried more. Namjoon stood up and kneeled beside you. He reached for your face and you slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me!" You didn't like feeling vulnerable specially in front of the person you love. Yes, you still love him. Then and now, he was the only one who occupied your heart. You tried to have boyfriends in the past but all of those relationships didn't work out. You've never really escaped Namjoon's grasp. You are a prisoner of his love.

"For everything. I'm sorry for everything _______," You screamed at him and pushed him back but he still stayed beside you, not even flinching even when you keep on hitting him. He caught your arms and kissed your knuckles. "I was there at your 18th birthday. I was planning to give this to you." He reached inside his pocket and brought out a silver ring. Tears streamed down your face and your sobs became louder.

"Our coordinator in the past found out about you and threatened to tell us to the company. She also threatened your safety so I couldn't do anything. We pretended to be a couple but we broke up after a week. I told the members everything and the hated me for it. We saw how it broke your heart so they prevented me to go back to you." He wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb and pulled your chair closer so he can cup your face. "It hurt me to be separated from you. I kept watch on you to keep you from harm. I saw you with your boyfriends and it hurts to see you move on while I was still stuck on that day. I still love you ______." Namjoon's voice cracked and a tear fell from his eye.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have solved it together." You touched your forehead with his. "We wasted a lot of time Joon. A lot of fucking time."

You stayed like that with your eyes closed. None of you spoke for a minute, absorbing the things that happened. Reassuring yourselves that this isn't just a dream.

"Are you up for a second chance?" He smiled at you and you can't help but smile also. "Are you?" You replied. He pressed his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. He kissed you slowly, holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world. He lifted you up to the table and you wrapped your legs around him. He broke the kiss and took out the ring.

"______ I can't promise the things I can't do but I'm certain that I will protect you. I'm going to make sure that your smile will never ever leave you. I'm going to tell you every problem we will encounter so we could solve it together. I love you and I want to spend this life with you. Will you please marry me?"

You imagined your proposal to be in a beach or rooftop with the sun slowly setting instead of your small apartment with dishes still on the sink. Roses and candles would be scattered on the floor and you'll be wearing a white dress not in your oversized favorite shirt, doning a messy and just-woke-up hair but nevertheless, nothing seemed more perfect. As long as it's Namjoon, the man you've been in love with all your life, same man you'll be willing to give your soul to, it would be your ideal proposal.

"Yes."

Namjoon's dimple appeared when he smiled. He kissed you again but more passionately. He carried you to your bed and gently laid you there with a naughty smile on.

"Round two?"

"Round two."

Marrying an idol will never be easy but you two are together now, and nothing and no-one could ever separate you again.

#BTS #namjoon #rapmon #bangtan #jin #jungkook #jhope #suga #jimin #taehyung

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lololollywrites · 5 years

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thoughts about being 29 on the internet that i just had in the shower...

...and had to write down. they were all basically just about how f**king - NEW. and surreal. the internet, its capabilities, and its fandoms can still be to me sometimes. i feel like i forget this a lot. but when i think about it, i can easily recall my wonder at discovering that it all existed in waves of smaller finds. and because i know there are others like me, i thought i’d share some of my own experiences. because honestly, i’ve had fewer years on tumblr and sites like it than some people much younger than me. i’m catching up and enjoying it.

firstly, i know i’m old to some of you, but i’m not really old. not really. i’m still a millennial, screwed over by student loans and old white men and viewed as part of the technological generation. i’m a phd student, and because i’m always on a college campus, i’ve been mistaken as a freshman. a few times. but it’s been fascinating to witness actual freshman and other college students and consider just how different things are for them and honestly? i’m sort of jealous.

because...

i can remember when i first discovered that fanfiction existed. i was in third period tech skills as a junior in high school - 16 years old - and got a little off-topic and searched for spoilers for a new supernatural episode. this was in 2005 and the show had just come out (yes i still watch, i can’t escape).

and what did i find? somehow? fanfiction.net. i was, no exaggeration, shocked. i sat and read a full-length chaptered fic in episodic format. my mouth was hanging open. i saw thousands more fics in hundreds of fandoms and suddenly felt less strange for envisioning full-scale episode re-imaginings in my head as i laid in bed, dissatisfied with what i had just watched. (btw, i watched new supernatural episodes the sunday after they used to originally air on the wb on thursdays, at my mom’s house where i had my own room and own tiny tv, because no one at my dad’s house wanted to watch and streaming episodes wasn’t something i could even imagine. plus i didn’t have internet at my dad’s house. i know.)

not only that, but i was impressed as hell. here was me, not even aware that you could somehow upload your own text to the internet, and people were not simply writing polished stories in private but posting them somewhere that allowed for chapters. that allowed for people all over the world to read their words. that categorized everything into a huge virtual library. and, most incredibly to me, that allowed for reviews from people around the world.

i couldn’t believe that this new world was open to me. that people would be so generous as to offer amazing stories to me to read FOR FREE. that i had a limitless supply of content to read and review. i barely had functioning internet at home, so i had been sheltered. i told the people sitting next to me in class about it and encouraged them to check it out, mostly to blank stares. i may have even told the teacher, but no one cared. i didn’t understand. who wouldn’t be interested? i told my dad and my sister about it when i got home from school. i was mind-blown.

months in and many reads and written reviews later, i wrote my first fic. it was for smallville. 6 chapters, with updates every few days, that received 14 reviews in total. i read them all multiple times. i showed my sister. i checked the story stats every half hour. i cried. i wrote on the family computer secretly in the evening when most of my family had gone upstairs, because i was about half a year away from owning my first laptop. i wrote more stories sporadically for about 6 years, gradually getting better, but also gradually becoming more stressed and aware of negativity, online arguments, and the embarrassment and shame i suddenly felt about having an online presence. i found a supernatural forum at tv.com (the forums sadly no longer exist), learned about fandom, and immersed myself in posting and being part of a community that i thought understood me more than my friends. like a secret life.

during my first year of college, in 2007, i was in a friend’s dorm when he asked everyone if we wanted to watch an episode of scrubs. i laughed. surely he was joking. “how can we just watch an episode? it’s not on now and you don’t have the dvds.” i literally didn’t consider that there may have been a way. he excitedly told us that he had found some website that had episodes just... pre-uploaded. and that you could just click. i didn’t believe him. the stress of having to be at the tv at a certain time each week for fear of missing an episode entirely and forever was just part of being a fan, right? buying the tv guide and checking listings was necessary. but he found the episode. and clicked. it only took a few full minutes to load and there it was. again, i was astounded. this memory is so shockingly clear to me. it changed how i spent much of my free time, for one. just that moment.

sometime during this first year of college, i was home for break and came across a video on youtube, this new website i had started to use. it reminded me of ebaum’s world, which my friend would show me at her house sometimes because her computer was faster than mine. it was called “cat soup”, and by two guys that called themselves smosh. it had more views than i could comprehend - probably not much more than 5 digits, but still. they were just two kids i could have gone to school with who could create a funny video and get famous. again, i was shocked. mind-blown.

i showed my sister, my mom, and all my friends. they appreciated it a bit more than the fanfiction, but no one seemed to grasp how incredible and revolutionary it was. they all liked “shoes”, with the kelly persona by liam kyle sullivan (we still quote it today), probably because its budget and effects made it a bit more familiarly professional and it appeared less homemade (though it definitely was). but i couldn’t forget smosh. i was so impressed by them. i watched more videos and eventually found communitychannel and jenna marbles and eviliguana and shane dawson. i even found fan edits for my faves, buffy (maybe i saw one of phil’s, lol) and supernatural and smallville, and tried making my own. i freaked in 2009 or so when fred reached a million subscribers. a million. i couldn’t wrap my head around that. again, i told my sister and friends, expecting them to see the enormity of something so crazy happening, and they just... didn’t.

back in 2008, after watching “stick it” again, i recalled the name of a gymnast my cousin used to always talk about when we were kids - from the 1996 olympics - and looked her up on youtube. i realized that all gymnastics competitions imaginable had been uploaded. again - not to be repetitive - but i was shocked. there’s no better word. i gave myself a thorough education on the sport, traveling through time. i am still so grateful that i was able to do that.

sometime in 2009, my friends started pestering me to create a facebook account. i was a junior in college. 20 years old already. it sounded weird - pictures of me online? why? but i gave into pressure and made one. my mom had never allowed us to make a myspace; we were a bit young, and she hated the idea (now, she’s on facebook more than i am). around the same time i got my fanciest phone yet - an LG Env3. i figured out that it could access the internet and that i could use songs to create ringtones. again, sufficiently mind-blown. considering my first cell phone had been a flip phone with no camera that i shared with my sister during emergencies when i was 13, i felt that technology was coming along fast.

smart phones were foreign to me for a long long time, until recently actually. i thought they were unnecessary for quite a while. i don’t even remember what phones i had at the end of college and through grad school, but i’m pretty sure they consisted of a series of cheap pay-as-you-go phones from walmart. in 2013, i went to china for a year to teach. i got a cheap phone there and used it for about 7 months. one day, a friend of mine gave me his old htc smartphone because he was getting a new one. i didn’t know how to use it, but i played one app on repeat before class and snapped some low-quality photos. after that, i almost immediately went to indonesia for another 9 months to teach high school (2014-2015). the htc phone died very quickly, so i used the nokia brick phone given to me by the organization. it was fine. i had never even used my old smartphone to access the internet, aside from wechat, thanks to china’s internet blocks. it wasn’t until i got home, in the summer of 2015, that i finally got an iphone. it was a huge deal and a big learning curve. it was also around this time that i found dan and phil and tumblr. i only got my macbook two years ago and finally think i have some things figured out.

so i may be old in some ways and remember floppy disks and the card catalog and using encyclopedias to write my middle school papers and huge computers with black screens and green text that displayed math problems in elementary school. i may be able to remember the sound of ancient, huge printers that used reams of paper with perforated, tearable strips down each side. i may remember aol red, dial-up, and not being able to connect if someone was on the phone. but i can also remember watching technology evolve in front of me, discovering fandom and the huge world of content and friendship that lay ahead. and when people try to say i’m too old to like dan and phil, i remind them that dan and phil can also remember. we’re the same age. i relate to them and their stories. to phil’s buffy obsession. to dan’s love of smosh. i’ve only had about 10 fully-cognizant years here on the internet, and only a couple in the world of tumblr and iphones and mobile apps. i’m young in those ways. and i look young enough that strangers sometimes think i’m a teenager.

that’s laughable to me in some ways, because i’ve lived so much since my teen years. so much has happened. but in others, i don’t feel much different. there’s no age where you just feel grown up. that your interests vanish. that things suddenly seem childish and dumb. yes, i cringe about some things i wrote or did back then and i think i’ve matured, but my interests are all still relatively similar and i can finally explore them in ways that i just couldn’t before.

i hope that this has made sense. and i hope that some can relate.

#fandom #text post #sorry about this #i had to get it out #stories #me #dan and phil #kind of #well i mention them

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loghainmactir · 5 years

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hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️

hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.

long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.

transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.

my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.

i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.

join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.

along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body

(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)

again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.

my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns

(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)

it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.

i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).

(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)

my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.

my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.

but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.

#long post #sorry if you need this formatted for ease of reading please shout at me. i really word vomited all over this #my transition #trans #anon #asks #iodk what else to tag this as

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unlikelycandychaos · 3 years

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New York and Dogs; the Candy Store for Ideas

Mara Bovsun, an award-winning author and editor to the American Kennel Club's books and sites. She has also served in many different capacities for your organization, not the least of which is being the AKC Beagle Mascot, Bailey, in many events. When she's not being the puppy, she practices and competes in agility, running, and tricks training with 2 Leonbergers, Emily and Cleah. She also has the fantastic privilege of watching over her 15-year-old yellow Lab, Maggie, the one time death-row inmate who gave her the wonderful gift of a lifetime with dogs. Goodnewsforpets caught up with her before the convention; the following is her interview. How can you state media impacts this business?

I do not really think of the relationship between humans and dogs within a business, even though there are big dollars involved with the marketing of all types of related items. I believe in terms of stories, and with dogs, typically in terms of love stories. All of these new approaches are only ways to help get these stories outthere. Seriously, to me, the internet is merely a more effective and more straightforward way of yelling from the rooftop. How did possessing Megan and then shortly afterwards, Maggie, get you into writing about puppies? I had never owned a dog before we inherited Megan, my father-in-law's old yellowish Laboratory. Seriously, I did not understand how to hold a leash or in which to find dog food at the supermarket. By now Megan died of osteoscarcoma, only a year and a half after she came to live with us, I couldn't even recall life before I had a puppy. I was so crazed with grief that I ran outside and did something no one who knows better would do. I grabbed the dog who seemed like Megan. She was a large unruly Laboratory yellowish, as she had been tagged in the protector --and she had been scheduled to die the following moment. This puppy was such a few that the protector workers told me I should not take her, particularly since I was a total novice and did not have the skills to turn her around. They stated it would be a tragedy.

She became Maggie, my Maggie. Maggie has been the funniest, unforgettable character I've ever known. She gave me a crash course in canine behavior, as well as stuff for many, many stories, right up to the end. This was a dog whose poor manners almost cost her her life, but we worked extremely hard and she made her CGCtwo legs of an RN (her hindquarters gave out until we can find the third), and she became a therapy dog. Writers simply naturally tend to put their experiences on paper, so that is how it began. After she died in August, at around 16, a number of my exceptionally talented buddies painted her portrait or composed tributes to her. One place a Maggie sketch at the Dog Chapel. I keep thinking that had I not taken the danger, she would have died because shelter and would not be a shadow of a memory. Now artists are immortalizing her. Life is odd. How can living in New York City help gather information about specific topics? Oh ! I'll give you one example. When I picked up my Leonberger puppy Emily, my first puppy ever, I requested her breeder for a few house-training pointers. She also gave me the basic advice that you find in most novels,"When you see her circling or scratching the ground, pick her up fast and get her outside." I reminded her that we live on the 15th story of a large rise. "Oh," she said, pondering a moment. "Good luck" We got the job done, but it required some imagination and fast footwork (particularly that time some clown hit all of the buttons in the elevator for each floor). Lately, I discovered a girl with a pup in my building, and she had been at wit's end about the house training thing. I gave the Emily Protocol, along with the puppy was nice within a month. Another thing: You really do learn a great deal about human nature when you're tooling around New York City with Leonberger puppy at a stroller. Bottom line: New York is a candy store so far as ideas go, and it is also the world's greatest puppy socialization lab. I'm working on a publication based on lessons from all the high tech hounds I have met and loved over time. And yes, you can happily reside in a studio flat with two Leonbergers, a Labrador Retriever, and a husband. Being an award winning writer, what are some of your favourite pieces you've written and why? I love when I hear from people who say that a story I wrote kept them from giving up on a difficult dog. I did a series of posts for our websites on dogs who had rough starts in existence however, with dedicated owners and smart training, proceeded to achieve CGCs, agility titles, or entered therapy or service work. The best example of this is a story on a few of those Vick dogs who turned into an agility star, and what it required to turn this puppy around. I don't sugar coating it, as most books do, since you need far more than love when coping with such broken spirits. From the Vick-dog case, the new owner was highly experienced in dealing with pit bulls and rescues. Still, even though a half century of coaching know-how, it took her years and enormous amount of creativity to work by means of this dog's issues. Good-hearted men and women are often moved to take on a puppy with a hard-luck ago, but they ought to know what they're getting into, and how long it might take to see improvement. So the stories I enjoy the best, if they win awards or not, are the ones which convey those concepts and provide people no-nonsense guidance about what to do. How would you say using meet-ups help encourage jobs best? What can I expect to hear about in your own presentation? In my presentation I will discuss the way the new media (Facebook, the Meetup website, Twitter, blogs), the old media (papers, radio, television), and, yes, real life, intersect. I'll talk about how you can use each one these tools to find or produce (and sell!) Stories, and, most importantly, how you can use these to help people and their dogs. It will be based on the series of Canine Good Citizen Meetups we ran in early 2015. What has linking DWAA done to your career? I can't count how many friends I have made through this business. At this phase of my entire life and career, that is the most crucial thing, although the nifty medallions are fun, also. What's it like having an AKC Beagle Mascot? Well, I’ll let Bailey reply that (and don't let her get away without telling you why it required her SIX attempts to pass her CGC test!) Bailey, what do you think? "Woof, rowwrl,woof, gragrourah." (I think she says it's fun, her CGC just took five attempts, and she wants some roast beef.) How do you develop with your blog ideas? And are they based off of real-life experience with your dogs or dogs you've worked with? It is hard to describe. I only feel when something is a story or not. There's no formula, and sometimes I'm mistaken. A good deal of these are about Maggie, whether directly or indirectly. To be honest, since she's been gone, I've been having a lot of trouble writing. I guess that this will pass at a certain stage, and my lovely Leonberger, Cleah, a retired show dog, and her daughter, my"little" Emily are providing me with fresh, very different sorts of tales. (Like how we were almost done in at a recent rally trial with a little bag of roast beef.) Is there anything else you would like to include? I would just like to thank DWAA for giving me the opportunity to Discuss my dogs into a captive audience, and Perhaps make some new buddies.

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feel-like-im-fading · 7 years

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Bookish Questions!

I was tagged 15 years ago by my saltmate and partner in crime @allmyfuckingobsessions. Gracias, guapa <3

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?

I have no clue, tbh. If we are talking about the books I have here with me right now, I’d say “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes” by ACD. It’s a beautiful edition!

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next?

Current read: “Pájaros en la boca” by Samanta Schweblin An outstanding collection of short stories. I love short stories! You can feel the Cortázar ~vibes~ and Magical realism while you read her book *heart eyes* If you don’t know a thing about Magical realism...What the hell are you waiting for? ;)

Last read: “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley.

Next Read: “Ensaio Sobre a Cegueira” by José Saramago and planning to reread “A Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood.

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated?

First thing that comes to my mind: Percy Jackson series.

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?

Pffffff. It’s a never ending list. Not copying Carmen’s answer but “Anna Karenina” is on my list too. “War and Peace”, also by Liev Tolstói. Dante Alighieri’s “The Divine Comedy” is another example (…) Anyways, I plan on reading all of them someday lmao.

5. Which books are you saving for “retirement?”

None, I guess.

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end?

Well, nowadays I wait. Don’t want to spoil the ending.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside?

Interesting! It always catches my attention.

8. Which book character would you switch places with?

Not an easy question to answer… Oh boy, I usually read a lot of dramatic stuff and the characters suffer so much. Right now, I’m looking at my shelf and first book I see is: Wuthering Heights…I loooooove WH, but I’d NEVER switch places with Cathy (1 OR 2 lmao). Thank you very much. I’d rather watch Transformers 5 times and I can’t stand Transformers haha. Okay, I’m gonna say something cliché af but I’d choose some random person studying at Hogwarts. I’d give everything to go to Hogwarts (cause yes, it’s real) but I don’t want Harry Potter’s bullshit. I want to be someone really chill, living my Hogwarts life and maybe have a cup of tea with my pal, Hagrid.

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?

Putting some memories aside, I’d say any book written by Pedro Bandeira. He’s a Brazilian writer and he mainly writes for kids and teens (I think?). So, his books remind me of my childhood up to my preteen years.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way.

George R. R Martin’s “Dance of the Dragons”. Some years ago, I won a contest on Facebook. I had to answer a question about the importance of fantasy or something like that. They liked my answer, I won the prize and now I can’t barely remember the question lmao. I’m getting old.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person?

Several times! I love to do that. I think the latest was a poetry book by Fernando Pessoa or “A Hora da Estrela” by Clarice Lispector.

12. Which book has been with you to the most places?

Hmm. “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman or “Venus in Furs” by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?

Yes. “Memórias de um Sargento de Milícias” by Manuel Antônio de Almeida. Still hate you tho, José de Alencar.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book?

A straw!

15. Used or brand new?

Both. I love both. I’m a poor student, books in Brazil are expensive af, so used books comes in handy and I have nothing against buying/collecting them. They also need a home, amirite?

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses?

Genius! (if you’re reading this and like to read King, pls, try “Different Seasons”. No one talks about that book and it’s an amazing collection of novellas).

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book? Yep. Unlikely to happen, but tbh one comes to my mind right now…“The Reader” by Bernhard Schlink. Probably because I had a lot of expectations, but Stephen Daldry’s film adaptation is a waaaay better imo.

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?

Hmm….Maybe “Wuthering Heights” by Emily Brontë, I think. I have watched the 1992 film adaptation and the BBC version with Tom Hardy <3 But I feel like no film based on Wuthering Heights will ever be Wuthering Heights. It’s almost impossible to capture all that intensity (and drama) lmao

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question?

Lord of the Rings cause of Lembas, I remember it’s a type of bread (kinda?) made by the Elves. Butterbeer too, of fucking course (from Harry Potter for those who don’t know ;)

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?

I have a friend, Fabrício, and we are always talking about books. We try to recommend things to each other. It’s nice.

Carmen is another person I like to talk about books. It’s not a planned thing, tho, sometimes we are chatting and one thing leads to another… But, tbh, I enjoy talking about literature with people who like to read. That’s it. Of course people have different interests and it’s unlikely to see me reading or having interest to read Paulo Coelho’s books, for example. It’s just a genre that I’m not so interested in reading. However, I don’t mind if a person comes to tell me about this or that book they’ve just read…It’s totally fine!

I’m tagging two lovely girls @lokisvillainy and @madissilver. No pressure!!

#carmen has already tagged most people i interact with on tumblr #this bitch i swear lmaooo #sorry it took me so long #but aaaa in love with this tag #thank you babe <33333 #tag game

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runesandfaes · 7 years

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85 Question Tag

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by: @tog-trash 💕💕 Thank you babe!

I’m tagging : @cassiancalore @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks @nessiansmut @highladyofnorta @dr-woodsprite @highladyofdreamcourt @throne-of-omg-the-feels @aelin-and-feyre @paperbacktrash @feysandsmut @azuremirwae@lovely-starfall @ablackbirdsinging @readinglikewildfire @wingsofanillyrian@dirtyhandsnet @modernbookfae @lronteeth @illyriangoddess @highlady-casandra

The last …

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My Boyfriend 3. Text message: My best friend I think? 4. Song you listened to: Ties by Years & Years 5. Time you cried: Pretty sure last night while I was watching something, my memory’s super hazy right now

6. Dated someone twice: Yes

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Eh..Kind of? In the sense that it wasn’t that great of a kiss

8. Been cheated on: Nope 9. Lost someone special: No 10. Been depressed: Gotten close, but no 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah

In the last year have you …

15. Made new friends: Yes 16. Fallen out of love: Yep 17. Laughed until you cried: Definitely 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes 19. Met someone who changed you: More like...enhanced me. In a good way. 20. Found out who your friends are: Yep 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Maximum of them 23. Do you have any pets: No 24. Do you want to change your name: Probably not 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Went out with my friends to a burger joint and I’m not spilling the rest here xD 26. What time did you wake up: 1:45 pm 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably talking to the girls and watching Jane the Virgin 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MY BOYFRIEND TO BE HOME IN 2 DAYS YAYY!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 5 hours ago-ish? 31. What are you listening to right now: The sounds of my Whatsapp notifications 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Nothing, currently. 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Facebook 35. Hair colour: Black 36. Long or short hair: Medium? 37. Do you have a crush on someone: Do fictional people count? Then plenty.

38. What do you like about yourself: My "looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll” personality......most of the time. 39. Piercings: One on each ear. HOLY SHIT THIS REMINDS ME, I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET MY NOSE PIERCED 40. Blood type: O+ 41. Nickname: Technically, Labonno is my nickname. But Bonbon, Ibti, Lab etc 42. Relationship status: In a Relationship 43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 44. Pronouns: She/Her 45. Favourite TV Show: F.R.I.E.N.D.S 46. Tattoos: Nope 48. Surgery: No 49. Piercing: Ears (See above) 50. Sport: I’m not a sports-y person. But if I had to choose, Football to watch, Basketball to play 51. Vacation: So many places in Europe 52. Pair of trainers: I don’t think I own one 53. Eating: I just really want cheesecake right now. 54. Drinking: I want tea 55. I’m about to: Hopefully grab some food 57. Want: TO EAT 58. Get married: Someday 59. Career: Still a student but either a Psychologist, Author or work in editing and publishing 60. Hugs or Kisses: Both 61. Lips or Eyes: Eyes 62. Shorter or Taller: Taller 63. Older or Younger: Older 64. Nice arms or Nice stomach: Nice arms 65. Hook up or Relationship: Both works, depending on what I want 66. Troublemaker or Hesitant: A good mix of both 67. Kissed a stranger: Nope 68. Drank hard liquor: Yeah, like, once. 69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes 70. Turned someone down: Yep 72. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah 73. Had your heart broken: With books, everyday. Irl, nah. 74. Been arrested: No 75. Cried when someone died: Yes 76. Fallen for a friend: No

Do you believe in …

77. Yourself: Yes 78. Miracles: Depends on the day 79. Love at first sight: Not even a bit 80. Santa Claus: No 81. Kiss on the first date: Depends on the date 82. Angels: Occasionally?

Other

83. Current best friend’s name: Oriha ( @azuremirwae ) and Luiza ( @cassiancalore ) <33 84. Eye colour: Dark brown 85. Favourite movie: I have no idea honestly

#Well that took fucking forever #but I had fun #tag games #labonno does tags

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lapinchatain · 7 years

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Anonymous sequel chp. 5

Jacob hesitated quite a bit before sending a message to Evie before Christmas holidays, asking her if she’d go home with him. They hadn’t really talked to each other during these two months after the “incident” at their birthday party and Jacob wasn’t sure it was him who’s avoiding her or the other way round. But they’d always go back to Crawley for Christmas every year, even after Father passed away. That’s the advantage (or the disadvantage) of being a family: you were always obliged to show up on the same occasions. He wasn’t sure whether it’s a good or bad thing. Both, probably.

“Same as last year,” Evie replied shortly after he sent out the message. “Do I need to get the tickets for you? See you at Paddington. I’ll email you the tickets later.”

She was totally talking to herself, offhand and bossy as usual, with no regard to his opinion. Not that he cared. She was the one who’s always commanding since they were children, bringing him to the library in town in summer holidays and reading a book alone for a whole afternoon, leaving him bored and tired at the chess table in the hallway, or deciding that they should go to hiking summer camp instead of lying idly on the beach in Brighton, or watching The Addams Family on weekend evenings, eating her homemade pistachio ice cream instead of going to the bowling club. There was once when Father was always away for work when they were in middle school, and she was also the one who decided what meals they would have every day.

“Get some takeaway food if you don’t like it,” Evie said coldly when she saw him push the broccoli in the bacon and vegetable lasagna aside with his fork in his plate, frowning, “Just don’t ask me for money.” Though at that time he was indeed ordering takeaway food a lot, as his cooking skills “suck” and that he really didn’t want to burden her further with chores while she already had the stress for exams to cope with.

Jacob threw aside his phone and slumped heavily onto the bed, covering his eyes with an arm. He shouldn’t have made that stupid move at their birthday party. He had always been an idiot in her eyes, he knew, but it felt like the first time that he truly regretted it. Wait a minute, would she think that he’s a bad person now?

He couldn’t help but let out a groan, feeling like a middle school pupil caught in the act while smoking cigarette for the first time.

Luckily it didn’t really feel as awkward as he had imagined when they finally met each other at the train station. It was a usual cloudy morning, and Evie had just left a coffee shop in the crowded station when he saw her, giving him a paper bag and a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice, a large heavy bag on her shoulder and her navy blue suitcase in her hand.

“Chocolate filled, orange juice,” Seeming to be talking to herself, as if Jacob needed to be reminded what his favorite breakfast was, she gave him a kiss on his cheek, then stepped backward and scrutinized him with a serious air. “Too much sugar is bad for your health.” Then added, “You’ve put on some weight.”

“Bollocks.” Jacob took a huge bite on his croissant, satisfiedly tasting a mouthful of chocolate. “I thought you’d take Henry home this year.”

Evie gave him a dirty look. “Henry’s got his own plans.”

“What plans would be more important than meeting the family of one’s future wife?”

The look on Evie’s face made him know delightedly that his attempt at annoying her succeeded again.

George drove to the train station in Crawley to pick them up, his coat billowed out around him by the wind on the platform, looking somehow embarrassingly comic. For some reason, George didn’t seem to have changed a bit in Jacob’s memories, staying always the same cautious, gentle, slightly awkward and prim middle-aged man, the only difference being some more white hair in the recent years. He’s a librarian in a library in town, widower for many years and had never had children. Maybe that’s the reason why he especially doted on the twins. He used to be Father’s patient before the twins were born and according to himself, Father was his life savior. “I thought it was true when I was little, but after I went to med school, I found out it was just a minor complication.” Evie told Jacob once in her surgeon’s tone. He’d always drop by their house when they were little, bringing them all kinds of little gifts, including the first toy train Jacob ever had in his life. When they were in college, Evie would go to his library during the holidays to write her essays or study for exams and take the afternoon tea with him. “People at the library say he’d always leave every day at 16:59 sharp. How terrible”. She laughed. Jacob didn’t see Evie much different from him, nor could he figure out why he was particularly close to Father.

George left after the dinner and Jacob was washing the dishes in the kitchen downstairs, before realizing that Evie had disappeared at some point. He went upstairs and didn’t see the light on in her room, but instead felt a current of chilly air coming from the attic. He knew where she was now.

“Hey,” Jacob climbed up to the attic and leaned out of its open window. The night wind of late December was freezing down to the bone, while Evie was sitting on the roof smoking with only her gray wool sweater, trousers and socks on. Jacob went back downstairs to fetch her coat and scarf, and put on a black coat from his own room.

“Can I sit here? ”

“As long as you don’t try to kiss me this time. ”

“Too sober for that.”

“That’s true though.”

Evie let him put her coat on her shoulders quietly, giving him the cigarette she was smoking in the meanwhile. Jacob sat down next to her, taking a deep puff and throwing the unfinished cigarette away. The neighbors opposite far away had decorated their roof with colorful bright lights for the Christmas, the warm light from the windows of the house shimmering gently in the cold and silent winter night.

“Hey ! Don’t throw the cigarette butt here! ”

“Just don’t smoke altogether. Gives you cancer. ”

“As if you were the one to lecture me.”

“I’ve never got addicted anyway.”

“You’ve been saying the same since you were 15 years old.”

“Because it’s a fact. ”

Evie sighed.

“Ok, so one new thing on the list ‘things that can get Evie Frye smoke’ apart from parties and exams: ‘I dumped my brother because I made a new boyfriend.’” Evie would always climb up to the roof to smoke alone in the night during the months prior to A-levels, but she couldn’t hide it from Jacob, even though she could from Father. But it wasn’t their only secret, obviously.

“Jacob!”

“Ok ok, I’m sorry.” Jacob said hurriedly. He didn’t want Evie to get angry and leave him alone again, though the roof on Christmas Eve’s night wasn’t a particularly romantic place, not with this glacial temperature. Evie didn’t reply.

“I have thought about saying sorry to you, but I just can’t do it.” She finally said, but wasn’t looking at him.

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. We’re not,” Jacob put much thought into finding the right word. “Exclusive. We’ve never been. Hey, give me another cigarette.”

Evie rolled her eyes, but still handed him another cigarette. He took it, lit it up and took a puff, watching the smoke disappearing quietly into the cold air in the dim light of the night.

“Do you remember the boyfriend I had back in middle school called Jack? I saw him on Facebook the other day, he’s in Australia now.” Jacob broke the silence.

“You’re still using Facebook?”

“Don’t miss the point here. I mean it’s not like we can make any kind of commitment.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Ok, I know that you want to be normal.”

“You don’t?”

“You think I’d be interested?”

Jacob smiled and gave her the cigarette. Evie took a puff and smiled back.

“Henry has been nice to me.” She said slowly.

“That’s quite obvious.” Jacob shrugged his shoulders.

“But he’s very serious.”

“And that scares you?”

“A bit.”

Jacob made a hum sound.

“Okay – actually I just want to know how it feels like to be in a normal relationship with someone.” Evie seemed to weight her words very carefully while she spoke, and he could sense that she was tensed. Evie wasn’t one of those people who didn’t know what they wanted. “But I’m just not that interested in – family.”

“God, you’ve only been together for a few months. Don’t tell me that he wants to take you to India to meet his grandparents this summer.”

“Exactly what he plans to do.”

Jacob choked on his cigarette.

“What?”

“Yes.” Evie fell in silence for a while. “I’m not sure whether I’m ready for that or not, but I know that if I’m uncertain, it’s not the right time yet.”

Probably for the first time in his life Jacob felt thankful for the sharp judgment and determination of his sister. It wasn’t that he didn’t admire that part of her before, but this time it seemed that this trait was to his advantage.

“Then don’t go.”

“I know.”

They didn’t speak for a while. Evie took the last puff, the golden red weak light quickly fading out and disappearing from the cigarette butt. She carelessly tossed it to the ground, though she had been lecturing him on not throwing cigarette butt away some minutes ago.

“Why is that?” Jacob asked suddenly.

“What?”

“The whole you’re-not-so-interested-in-family thing.” Not that Jacob was interested himself.

“Do you remember that summer, when we went to the south? When we said that things could have been different if Mother was here?”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes I think, fuck, I wish I could have a normal family.”

It was hilarious to hear Evie swear. Jacob couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“You think I’m abusing you?”

“For god’s sake Jacob, don’t be ridiculous.” Evie paused for a moment. “But you know, what we do – what we were doing – is NOT normal.”

“I know. Do you care?”

“This is like you ask me ‘our mother died when we were born, do you care?’ or ‘our Father threw us to our grandmother and didn’t come back until we were six years old, do you care?’ So, the answer is nor yes, nor no.”

That was quite a smart answer. “It seems that you’ve finally abandoned your fervent veneration of our father and listened to the voice of reason.” He didn’t know if Evie would be mad at him for saying so, but it was a god damned truth.

“You’re right.” Evie’s reaction still surprised him. “I guess we’d just never have that chance or the will to live that normal life anymore. This is us, this is our life.” Evie said quietly, turning her head around to look at him, smiling. His heart skipped a beat, but resisted the temptation of kissing her. It felt right, it never felt wrong, but he couldn’t be a bad person. However right at this moment she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead, then rested her head on his shoulder. He reached out and took her hand in his, and she didn’t let go.

She was right. They knew it, deep down, that this was the only life they had had, and that’s the only life they would ever have, for better or for worse. But what else could they do? A faint hope was lit up like a little candle at the bottom of his heart, but somehow Jacob felt a slight sadness permeating the air. At least that’s the sadness and loneliness that they could share, and they still had each other’s backs even if they were all alone in this big and lonely world.

“Want some more spiced wine?”

“As if I’d say no.”

***

So I really really like this chapter…the reason why I translated it into English. Damn, I can never get over my personal shit. The twins are wonderful for sharing so much in common with me.

Oh and it’s after writing this chatper that I remembered this quote I saw some time ago: “I’m nostalgic for a life that I’ve never had.”

#fryecest

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akaialaska-blog · 7 years

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Tagged :O

Tagged by: @kareen-chan

Rules: Answer the 85 statements and tag 20

The Last

1. drink: Sparkling water 2. phone call: My dad...? 3. text message: Yes 4. song you listened to: Sope-Me - I was able to eat well 5. time you cried: No clue 6. dated someone twice: Never dated 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Never kissed 8. been cheated on: No 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Nope 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never- I’m underage who do y’all take me for

3 favourite colours

12. White 13. Blue 14. Black

In the Last year have you

15. made new friends: Yassss 16. fallen out of love: Have I even fallen in love? xD 17. laughed until you cried: Yassssssss 18. found out someone was talking about you: Yeps 19. met someone who changed you: Probably 20. found out who your friends are: Yassssssssss 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t use my Facebook and I haven’t had my first kiss ooooo

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them 23. do you have any pets: Yep a doggo and some fishies 24. do you want to change your name: Never, Hope is the best pun name ever 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Idk. Something 26. what time did you wake up: 9.20am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with a friend/Trying to watch a kdrama 28. name something you can’t wait for: BTS SEPTEMBER COMEBACK AND HIXTAPE SIGN ME THE FUCK UP WHEN IS THIS SHIT COMING OUT- 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 1 minute ago 31. what are you listening to right now: Nothing 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I’ll have you know his name is spelt Thom and we are acquaintances 33. something that is getting on your nerves: PATRONIZING PEOPLE 34. most visited website: Youtube, Tumblr.... 35. hair colour: Brown/Blonde 36. long or short hair: Long 37. do you have a crush on someone: Nope 38. what do you like about yourself: Ability to be as random as possible 39. piercings: Nope 40. blood type: Idek 41. nickname: Midget... 42. relationship status: Single 43. zodiac: Scorpio 44. pronouns: She/her 45. favourite tv show: I don’t really have one 46. tattoos: Nope 47. right or left handed: Ambidextrous 48. surgery: Had a mole removed 50. sport: Basketball, Volleyball and Ice skating- YES IK IM SHORT AND BASKETBALL AND VOLLEYBALL ARE FOR TALL BEANS BUT IDK IMMA HAIKYUU THIS SHIT 51. vacation: my last was in Belgium... -war flashbacks- 52. pair of trainers: Uhm I only have one pair of trainers that are Sketchers memory foam

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing 54. drinking: Water 55. I’m about to: Tie up my hair 56. waiting for: EXAM RESULTS AND SEPTEMBER COMEBACK AND HIXTAPE LORD ALMIGHTY BIG HIT STOP MESSING WITH ME 57. want: To do well in my exAMS AND FOR BTS TO BE OKAY AND HEALTHY PLEASE 58. get married: Eh 59. career: Something related to Psychology / Author

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either but hugs sure 61. lips or eyes: Eyes! 62. shorter or taller: Taller I DONT WANNA BE A MIDGET NO MORE 63. older or younger: YOUNGER 64. nice arms or nice stomach: ....... Stomach?? 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: No i TOLD YOU I AM UNDERAGE 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yep 70. turned someone down: -WAR FLASHBACKS TO BELGIUM- .... dont remind me 71. sex on the first date: Never had a date before 72. broken someone’s heart: -WAR FLASHBACKS TO BELGIUM AGAIN- why are you asking me this 73. had your heart broken: No 74. been arrested: No!!!! 75. cried when someone died: Yes :’( 76. fallen for a friend: No….yes… maybe? KINDA?! (perfect answer from Kareen, thank you)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: Yes 78. miracles: Yeah, sometimes I do. 79. love at first sight: Nope, personality is more important 80. santa claus: childhood? where did you go? 81. kiss on the first date: Nope 82. angels: idk maybe maybe not who knows lolol

OTHER:

84. eye colour: It depends- Colours include: Green, Grey, Gold, Blue 85. favourite movies: I don;t have one

Now I could tag someone, I could... BUT CBA HA

#tagged #Kareen-chan

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belfromhell · 7 years

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@flying-toes and @leslipigeonoficial tagged me on this. Why am I doing it? I truly don’t know, but I love their blogs (go and follow them, now!) so I’ll do it with a smile on my face. (Btw sorry if there’s grammatical mistakes, english isn’t my first language).

Ps: @flying-toes is the one of the best persons I’ve met in this page, she’s so funny and sweet all the time! Ilysm girl, thanks for listening and care, ¡te adoro, eres genial!

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: @rubbersoles19 @fandom-weirdness-for-life @punk-rock-princess-626 @xjustahoneymoon @astronautswife @honeybun-holland @gweniings @mermaid-with-flowers-in-her-hair @s-sun-kissed @petersyoink @havikenhayes @pocketandheart @flylikeajetpack @lawryn-w @allisondra @danceratthestillpoint @tomhollandhollaatme @cassieandra0721 @dorkiustothemax @thebreenutgallery

I love lots of blogs but my memory is just shit so I’ll tag my last 20 followers instead.

the last

1. drink: a very strong lemonade. Basically a lot of lemon juice, a tiny bit of water and almost no sugar. LIKE THE REAL MACHOS.

2. phone call: My mom? I wanted to know how make chicken soup but we ended talking about my new neighbor and her annoying chihuahua. Never got my soup, though.

3. text message: a friend. She’s with her boyfriend’s family so basically she’s having a mental breackdown cause the mom of the boy hates her, lmao.

4. song you listened to: OMG NOOOO HAHAH. “Abrázame muy fuerte” by Juan Gabriel (we miss you mi amor :c).

5. time you cried: last night? I’ll be honest with you guys, I was reading a very emotional fanfic, it’s just science. I couldn’t help it.

6. dated someone twice: My ex, I think. Idk, I’ll date him again soon probably. I’ll use him to get free food and a Netflix account >:v

7. kissed someone and regretted it: LAST MONTH AND SHE’S MY EX LMAO. What can I say? She’s very nice and persuasive o-o

8. been cheated on: Never.

9. lost someone special: My great-grandmother passed away five years ago. I haven’t lost someone special since her, thank God.

10. been depressed: My life consist on been depressed and and angry 24/7

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Last week. I FINALLY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL FUCKERS. (By fuckers I mean my teachers, I love you all okay?)

3 favourite colours

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Red

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yep. Some thanks to other friends, some others thanks to my habit of losing important stuff.

16. fallen out of love: No, I still love the same guy, so ???

17. laughed until you cried: Yesterday, my friend’s mother put INTENTIONALLY soap in his eyes.

18. found out someone was talking about you: YES, I WAS WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION. Last month, some girl was talking shit about my whole classroom, just because we are genious and her classmates are total toddlers. It was graduation practice, AND MY PALS AND I WERE CONGRATULATED, NOT YOU SMOL LIL SHIT.

19. met someone who changed you: I’m always making friends. On web sites, on the street, everywere, so I’m always changing cause all of them teach me something everyday, even if they are just being themselves. Watch and learn.

20. found out who your friends are: I’ll just say yes while I keep my eyes shut to avoid cry.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeah, me and my friends still play 7 Minutes in Heaven, so imagine how that turns out.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’ve had the same Facebook account for five or six years now, and I’ve being in lots of fandoms. So, to make it short maybe I know five hundred of the three thousand? My school was really big and I’m just a sucker for friends and new people.

23. do you have any pets: Nop, my last pet was a cat called Noah but she run away. But I have lots of plants, does they count?

24. do you want to change your name: Nop, I’m Karla Belén and that’s how family calls me, but other people call me just Karla or Belén or derivations of those two. My closest friends call me Kiwi or Kabe. My teachers used my last name and all my doctors call me Belito. I love my name cause some people has take their valious time to make nicknames or they call me in a certain way cause maybe a thing I’ve made reminds them of something specific and I’m okay with that, so no, I don’t want to change my name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I was at my uncle’s house, the whole day we traveled with my parents to the capital, and when we arrived my aunt had cooked fried chicken. It was very simple but my dad let me drive a little bit and my mom was in a good mood, so it was really cute.

26. what time did you wake up: I stay till one am reading fanfics, so I usually wake at ten or eleven am.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with @flying-toes about my horrible life decisions.

28. name something you can’t wait for: Start college on September, if they answer my call this Monday. The rest of the MCU movies. Dinner.

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Five minutes ago? She’s staying with me this days, but nah I don’t care really.

31. what are you listening to right now: I’m watching Parks and Recreation actually, so I’m listening to their voices?

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes, my friend’s brother is called Tomás, but we call him Tom cause Tomás sounds really pretentious.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: My family, the college applications THAT HAVEN’T BEEN ANSWERED, not having money to waste in shits and stuff.

34. most visited website: AO3, Instagram, and Tumblr.

35. hair color: Black.

36. long or short hair: Both, I like long hair to make braids but I like short hair cause is easy to comb. Now I have it long but that may change next week if I feel like it.

37. do you have a crush on someone: TOM HOLLAND’S GOT MY HEART AND MY SOUL AT THE MOMENT.

38. what do you like about yourself: I’m determined, I like to think that we should all be aware that we are part of a larger project and we must do something about it, but something good, something that helps the rest and make the stay in the planet more enjoyable. I am committed and fight a lot for world problems. I go out to protests and stuff, but I hope to be a politician someday to work for people who are forgotten by people with power.

39. piercings: Nope, just normal earrings holes.

40. blood type: I truly don't know, I think I’m O-, or some weird thing cause the only time i’ve need blood we had to look for a donator cause my family isn't compatible.

41. nickname: Kiwi, Kabe, Belu, Belito, Flaca, Nena.

42. relationship status: Trying to return with my ex but failing.

43. zodiac: Capricorn.

44. pronouns: “she” “her”.

45. favourite tv show: Parks and Recreation, maybe.

46. tattoos: A little moon on my right hip.

47. right or left handed: right.

48. surgery: twice.

50. sport: HA! Noooooo.

51. vacation: My grandparents house is my perfect vacation place.

52. pair of trainers: Converse or Vans? I don’t care about shoes, honestly.

GENERAL

53. eating: I eat everything except for sardines.

54. drinking: I drink everyting.

55. I’m about to: Read some Spideychelle fics?

56. waiting for: UPDATES OF MY FAVORITE FICS. And the damn college card.

57. want: Love.

58. get married: I’m still a baby, but I really want to get married someday.

59. career: I just graduated high school, soy un Bachiller de la República del Ecuador :D, but I want to be a lawyer.

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs.

61. lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. shorter or taller: I don’t care, but I prefer taller people cause I’m a little tall and people is dumb about it.

63. older or younger: I don’t care x2. Age it’s just a number, I’m still pretty inmature but I’ve know people of my age that is very responsible and older people that needs to get back to their parents house.

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Nice heart? I like a nice body, but I don’t care x3 about aparience. If something or someone is cute, I like them. If they have fit bodies is cool, and is also cool if they don’t.

65. hookup or relationship: Relationship.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: TROUBLEMAKER AS FUUUUUCK. I have some strong opinios about delicate stuff and usually I get into trouble defending it.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Yeah, drunk or high.

68. drank hard liquor: Yeah, since I was fifteen probably.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Never, I can’t live without my glasses so I never leave them, at any moment.

70. turned someone down: Never.

71. sex on the first date: Never x2.

73. had your heart broken:It’s still broken but I'm pretending I'm fine reading lots of fanfics and going to the dentist.

74. been arrested: Once but I escaped before they called my parents or asked my name. I’m not proud of it but well...

75. cried when someone died: Yeah.

76. fallen for a friend: Yeah :(((

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: Sometimes, when I’m sure that things will go okay, and if I’m not I just stay positive.

78. miracles: I don’t know, I’m not a religious person. But I think that sometimes things are meant to be and happens in weird ways that can be considered as miracles.

79. love at first sight: No, that’s bullshit.

80. santa claus: Nop, here in Ecuador we don’t believe in that. It’s something that foreign brought like a comercial thing.

81. kiss on the first date: It deppends.

82. angels: Maybe.

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Dark brown.

85. favourite movie: El 49. In 1949 a earthquake shake and destroyed my city. Help was sent from all the country and from close countries but it never came. People with power taked those things and made total empires using all the provitions. But my city didn’t give up. People that lost everyting worked harder that ever and the next year the city was reconstructed and since that year we celebrate on February the FFF (Fiesta de las Flores y de las Frutas) that means Flower and Fruit Festival. I love that movie cause reflects all the pain of those poor citizens but the determination of the ambateños (My city is called Ambato, do the math).

IF YOU GOT TO THE END YOU HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME. THANKS FOR READING! If you think we have something in common you should send me a message. I’am always willing to talk or listen.

#random

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vanillabeanniall · 7 years

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91 Questions Tag

thank you 2 ryan @selkatha for tagging me, i love to talk abt myself

(under the cut bc you guys dont want to see this on ur dash)

THE LAST –  

1. Drink: water  2. Phone call:  i think it was my friend asking me where i was bc we got separated in cvs 3. Text message: i praised my roommate for having a baguette 4. Song I listened to: ...i just watched a very potter sequel 5. Time you cried: first night i spent alone here

HAVE YOU EVER –  6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Been cheated on: nope 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: yep (i dont like the two of them)  9. Lost someone special: yep 10. Been depressed: not diagnosed but a bit for a while a few years ago 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS –  12. spring green 13. warm yellow 14. orange/red (like neon peach)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU –  15. Made new friends: yes!! even just this summer ive made a ton and im so scared abt never seeing them again after the program ends next week  16. Fallen out of love: i’ve fallen out of a crush  17. Laughed until you cried: nope 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah that BITCH  19. Met someone who changed you: not really. just me  20. Found out who your true friends were: yeah those BITCHES

MORE –   21. Kissed someone on your facebook? do i even still have that?  22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? probably most of them? i dont remember who im friend with on there 23. Do you have any pets? nope 24. Do you want to change your name? not anymore 25. What did you do on your last birthday? got my drivers license and got the flu  26. What time did you wake up? 12:30 and even then only bc i had a date at 12:45 27. What were you doing at midnight? watching a very potter musical 28. Name something you can’t wait for: seeing julia again  29. When was the last time you saw your mother? a few weeks ago  30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? i want independence  31. What are you listening to right now? nothing bc its finally cold enough to not have that GODDAMN FAN ON  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yeah a few  33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my sleep schedule & my final 34. Most visited site: this bitch right here

SCHOOL –   35. Elementary: it was fine. i was the smartest one i knew and i had no friends but it was fine. catherine and i watched les mis its the strongest memory i have 36. Middle: ha let’s not 37. High: i love high school tbh theres a lot to get into here but i wont 38. College: i love harvard university where i am right now its a dream tbh

ME –   39. Hair color: brown  40. Long or short hair? masculine long feminine short 41. Do you have a crush on someone? not right now. i got broken up with today tho 42. What do you like about yourself? im smart af  43. Piercings? ears & nothing else 44. Blood type: why is this one of the questions????  45. Nickname: vas, a few things, idk  46. Relationship status: again,,, broken up with today 47. Zodiac sign: aquarius  48. Pronouns: she/her but i really don’t care much bc genders not really real anyway 49. Favorite TV show(s): BROOKLYN 99 50. Tattoos: i will!!!!! but as of now, no  51. Right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? right handed but i play wii sports left handed

FIRST –   52. Surgery: adenoids out as a child  53. Piercing: ears  54. Sport: b!a!s!k!e!t!b!a!l!l!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 55. Vacation: i do not remember  56. Pair of trainers: i dont know u british fuck

CURRENT –   57. Eating: nothing but i just ate so many goldfish crackers goddamn  58. Drinking: nothing but good reminder to stay hydrated hold on.  ok water 59. I’m about to: sleep  60. Listening to: nothing its totally quiet right now

FUTURE –   61. Waiting for: college 62. Want: to find my soulmate 63. Married: for damn sure  64. Career: product designer

YOUR TYPE –   65. Hugs or kisses? neither mostly but hugs  66. Lips or eyes? eyes? i guess? i dont have much of a preference 67. Shorter or taller? taller pls but thats hard bc im tall so like does it matter 68. Older or younger? dont really care but ive mostly been into older people (not old people. not much older. fuck this answer didnt come out right) 69. Nice arms or nice stomach? both i love muscles (not like wild muscles like soft ones u know wht i mean) i wanna get ripped  70. Sensitive or loud? sensitive i HATE loud  71. Hook-up or relationship? relationship. 100% 72. Troublemaker or hesitant? really depends 73. Kissed a stranger? nope 74. Drank hard liquor? just sips 75. Lost contact lenses/glasses? yes too many times rip  76. Turned someone down? nope im no hot commodity 77. Sex on first date? nope not now thanks 78. Broken someone’s heart? not that i know of 79. Had your heart broken? yeah but not romantically 80. Been arrested? no  81. Cried when someone died? yeah. ive been to too many funerals 82. Fallen for a friend? only once (not again thanks)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN –   83. Yourself? yes, i have a strong conviction that i am capable of anything (which is bad bc like im smart but it leads me down dangerous paths both of things i cant do and the path of narcissism for example i tend to think im automatically smarter than everyone and i get competitive af but to be fair ive never lost them) 84. Miracles? yeah sure 85. Love at first sight? no but infatuation tho (thanks harry styles i stole that answer from u)  86. Santa Claus? no but i like that  87. Kiss on first date? really depends 88. Angels? yeah im actually really religious

OTHER –   89. Current best friend’s name: J U L I A 90. Eye color: hazel but mostly green unless it doesnt feel like it  91. Favorite movie: WONDER WOMAN

k thanks yall ill tag (basically half of who ryan tagged rip i need more friends) @uswntinharmony @spnife @kaisder unless ur too cool 4 that

#thanks

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artificialskyway-archived · 7 years

Text

92 Statements Tag

tagged by @i-mweakforchangkyun + @mikapeanut thank you, bbys! <3

Sorry that there aren’t 92 djsbkjrg BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.

Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 (or however many you’d like) people!

The Last :

1. Drink: M: fruit punch Kool-Aid! R: waterrrr

2. Phone Call: M: my dad R: my mama

3. Text Message: M: Admin R lol R: my homegirl, K

4. Song You Listened To: M: “Mystery Lover” by Taemin R: reflecting light x sam phillips

5. Time You Cried: M: sunday i think? R: two days ago, tbh - i’m a big baby

6. Dated Someone Twice: M: ugh dont remind me lol i think back in 2014? single ever since R: three times bc i was a dummyhead. lol 2010-2015

7. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: M: nope R: oh yes, definitely.

8. Been Cheated On: M: not sure but at the same time im pretty sure R: twice, a few years back.

9. Lost Someone Special: M: unfortunately R: mhm, in 2012.

10. Been Depressed: M: still dealing with my demons R: it comes and goes

11. Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: M: never R: thankfully the last time it was that bad was a year ago.

List 3 Favourite Colours (12-14):

M: grey, maroon, and black R: mint-green, black, + white

In The Last Year Have You:

15. Made New Friends: M: yes! our lovely L.P. anon and many more! R: i definitely have! all thanks to kpop lol.

16. Fallen Out Of Love: M: nope R: no

17. Laughed Until You Cried: M: yes! lol R: oh most definitely! just happened yesterday; my best friend and i ended up on the floor in the middle of a payless shoe store laughing our asses off ‘til we cried.

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: M: nope R: i dont remember?

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: M: not really tbh R: in a way, yes.

20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are: M: yep R: mhm

21.Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: M: lmao cx i dont even use fb anymore R: nope

General:

22. How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know IRL: M: one R: all of them lol.

23. Do You Have Any Pets: M: yes! 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a hamster! R: two pups <3

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: M: definitely..i would just shorten it to Moni lol R: i used to. but now it’s growing on me.

25: What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: M: uh...tbh i dont remember, I have terrible memory R: spent it in washington with my fam.

26: What Time Did You Wake Up: M: 7:44 am R: 6:00am rip

27: What Were You Doing Last Night: M: sleeping...i went to bed at 7 pm R: hangin’ with my best friend

28. Name Something You Can’t Wait For: M: Paramore’s concert! R: my high school best friend’s wedding + going back to work (i miss my kiddos) + the paramore concert!

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mum: M: shit...i think october 2014?..long story R: last night

30. What Are You Listening To Right Now: M: EXO-M’s “MAMA”!! R: 4-ever x NB Ridaz ;; <3 (i’m feelin’ hella nostalgic today)

31. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: M: nope R: thomas ? yes lol he didn’t like being called tom.

32. Something That Gets On Your Nerves: M: lies R: those drivers that pull out into your lane and insist on driving 20 miles under the speed of traffic, like bruh pls stop that.

33. Most Visited Website: M: tumblr and youtube R: ^^^ same, same.

34-36 were missing!

37. Hair Colour: M: brown-black R: dark brown

38. Long Or Short Hair: M: long R: long-ish

39. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: M: not atm R: nahh.

40. What Do You Like About Yourself: M: my intelligence..maybe my legs if we’re talking about physical R: my music taste, lmao and that’s it.

41. Piercings: M: none R: zero.

42. Blood Type: M: no idea tbh lol R: i should know, but i don’t know.

43. Nickname: M: moni..my dad calls me moosh R: ronnie, rons, ronron, bibi, i have a lot.

44. Relationship Status: M: single asf (but happy) R: single

45. Zodiac: M: gemini R: gemini

46. Pronouns: M: she/ her R: she/her

47. Favourite TV Show: M: hm...gotta go with Leverage and Psych at a tie R: psych -- the #1 show of all time.

48. Tattoos: M: none R: none, yet!

49. Right Or Left Handed: M: right-handed R: right

50. Surgery: M: none R: none

51. Piercings: M: R: already asked, lol. but y’know what??.these surveys remind of the good ‘ol myspace days where we would do these and post them to our bulletin, anyone know what i’m talkin’ about?? nostalgia is hittin’ hard.

52. Sports: M: does dance count? probably not but oh well R: i used to play volleyball + hockey (not in a legit team but a bunch of us played for years in school together)

53. Vacation: M: just came back from one! R: currently, i want to go back to hawaii

54. Pair Of Trainers: M: uh...dont know what those are R: i got converse..

55. Eating: M: i ate a bunch of hot cheetos earlier? R: pizzaaaa

56. Drinking: M: i’m drinking water atm..i dont drink alcohol lol R: water

57. I’m About To: M: probably pee if im being honest..sorry for the tmi XD R: hug my dog rn bc she is lookin hella cute i need to hug her, brb.

58. Waiting For: M: nothing lol R: my best friend to come pick me up

60. Want: M: atm?...cuddles R: to dye my hair

61. Get Married: M: i hope to one day R: some day

62. Career: M: i hope to be a translator R: a children’s counselor

Which Is Better:

63. Hugs Or Kisses: M: hugs..but really..why not both? R: hugsssss

64. Lips Or Eyes: M: eyes R: lips

65. Shorter Or Taller: M: taller cuz im short asf R: taller

66. Older Or Younger: M: older R: older

67. Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: M: arms! R: it doesn’t really matter, lol, i’ll choose arms tho

68. Hookup Or Relationship: M: relationship R: relationship

69. Troublemaker Or Hesitant: M: hesitant R: hesitant, with some impulsive tendencies

Have You Ever:

70. Kissed A Stranger: M: nope R: nah

71. Drank Hard Liquor: M: yep R: oh yes

72. Lost Glasses Or Contacts: M: oh yea R: yep yep

73. Turned Someone Down: M: yep R: yeah

74. Sex On The First Date: M: nope..never been on a date R: nah

75. Broken Someone’s Heart: M:.....yes R: yup

76. Had Your Own Heart Broken: M: oh yea R: yup

77. Been Arrested: M: nerp R: no

78. Cried When Someone Died: M: definitely R: of course

79. Fallen For A Friend: M: ??? R: nope

Do You Believe In:

80. Yourself: M: sometimes..depends on what im doing R: i believe that i can find some hella good music to listen to

81. Miracles: M: yes R: yep

82. Love At First Sight: M: no R: i’m always on the fence on this; so, yes + no

83. Santa Claus: M: lol no R: bruh of course.

84. Kiss On The First Date: M: sure if it feels right R: it depends

85. Angels: M: yes R: yep

Others:

86. Current Best Friends Name: M: Veronica :D R: kaitlynn; moni, elle, carina

87. Eye Colour: M: brown R: poop brown

88. Favourite Movie: M: V for Vendetta R: currently, kill bill!

We tag: @junyixinqs @got7doubleb @chambaeq @moedits @alicat-doodles @daddymarktuan . . anyone that sees this!

#tags #~R #admin ratedm

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sopeotp-blog · 7 years

Text

a “should we know us a little better” tag

RULES: you must answer these 89 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by: @jeonniez (thanks for tagging me :))

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: my best friend

3. Text message: my best friend once again lol

4. Song you listened to: without you by oh wonder

5. Time you cried: ahh, i don’t remember. my memory is quite bad sooo

6. Dated someone twice: nope, never seriously dated actually

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: no, i don’t think so

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no:)

LIST YOUR THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. black, blue, white (i also like green but-)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!

16. Fallen out of love: no, i’ve never been in love

17. Laughed until you cried: no, it had never happened actually

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah, not really nice things

19. Met someone who changed you: yep

20. Found out who your friends are: oh yeah, definitely

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nO

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them

23. Do you have any pets: yes! i have a turtle, budgies and fish and theyre my children basically, i love them so much

24. Do you want to change your name: nah, not really. i wanted to when i was younger though

25. What did you do for your last birthday: listen, this is no jokes. i cried my fucking eyes out. i couldn’t stop. and no, it wasn’t happy tears i was sad as hell i felt like shit. thank you very much

26. what time did you wake up: 10:30 am cause i have summer holidays now ayeee

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching bts concept/au videos

28. Name something that you can’t wait for: HIXTAPE!!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: im right next to her right now:) 30: What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my looks lmao

31. What are you listening to right now: ivy by frank ocean

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope, i live in poland and you don’t have many people named tom here lol

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: automatic messages on twitter 34. Most visited website: twitter/facebook/youtube/tumblr/ao3 35. Mole/s: one on my cheek but it’s small so idk

36. Mark/s: a tiny one on my wrist and it reminds me of a hedgehog for some reason

37. Childhood dream: a dog (i still want a dog tho)

38. Hair color: naturally black

39. Long or short hair: i used to have long hair but i cut them short and donated it a couple months ago

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope

41. What do you like about yourself: thanks to my friend i now like my eyelashes:)

42. Piercings: i only have ear piercing

43. Blood type: B

44. Nickname: i used to have one but nobody calls me that anymore

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: aries

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: i don’t really watch tv shows. i’ve watched 3 in my life so idk 13 reasons why was quite good

49. Tattoos: none, im underage so

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: none

52. Piercings: ear piercing

53. Sport: *laughs* i suck at sports tbh

54. Vacation: i'm going to asia this year to visit my family there

55. Pair of trainers: i like converse?? (i dont really get this question sorry)

MORE GENERAL:

56. Eating: right now nothing

57. Drinking: water hehe

58. I’m about to: read some sope fluff (sorry not sorry)

59. Waiting for: hIXTAPE

60. Want: a dog (and hixtape)

61. Get married: i don’t know to be honest. i’m too young to think about it but probably yes

62. Career: i have no idea what i want to do in the future

WHICH IS BETTER?

63. Hugs or kisses: none - cuddling is awkward and so is hugging

64. Lips or eyes: EYES

65. Shorter or taller: taller

66. Older or younger: older

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice personality (idc really, be who you want to be as long as you’re kind)

68. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

69. Hookup or relationship: relationship

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: is there something in between?

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: no

72. Drank hard liquor: no

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

74. Turned someone down: yes

75. Sex on the first date: nO.

76. Broken someone’s heart: i don’t know, i hope i didn’t

77. Had your heart broken: no

78. Been arrested: nope

79. Cried when someone died: yes

80. Fallen for a friend: no, i had a little crush on them though

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: sometimes? but it’s really rare. i have to be very motivated

82. Miracles: yes

83. Love at first sight: hmm.. not really?

84. Santa Claus: no

85. Kiss on the first date: for me: no. for others i don’t care

86. Angels: no OTHER:

87. Current best friends: listen, im not gonna mention names here because this is a secret fan account that i dont want my friends to know about, sorry

88. Eye color: very dark brown, almost black 89. Favorite movie: the boy in striped pyjamas, big hero 6 and 12 angry men i dont have many mutuals and i definitely won’t tag all of them so i’m only tagging @otpinmybrain @j-hopes-aegyo @ults95

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patricksilvrrozartistry · 7 years

Text

Current Music Obsessions: July 16 - 31, 2017

July was filled with great songs that I had intense obsessions with, but let’s start out with the honorable mentions first.

The Oblivion - Losing Gravity London Grammar - Truth is a Beautiful Thing Theatres des Vampires - Delusional Denial Freakangel - Insight Avelion - Never Wanted October Ends - Living in Shadows Kimberly Freeman - Amnesia The Autist - The Great Lioneess feat. Audrey Berset (Emma-O) and Sara Henriques (Aura's Seers) Adastia - Shadow Story Konqistador - Fiend Quadrus - Sense of Matter Quadrus - Entropia (The Final Chapter) Inertia - Face of Defeat Septicflesh - 3rd Testament The Rinn - Symphony of Light Tid - Dumhetens Gudinna Cyclocosmia - Immured Pt. IV Bare Infinity - Robin Eyes Velaverante - Jailed Draconian - With Love and Defiance Barque of Dante - The Reason feat. Ines Vera-Ortiz Face Off - Water Infected Rain - Orphan Soul The Hardkiss - Журавлi The Eternal - Down

Now it’s time for the songs I was OBSESSED with.

1) Shape of Despair - The Distant Dream of Life

After hearing In the Ocean of My Tears by Clouds, I had to find out if the singer featured in it was in an active band and found this band as a result. She's not in this song, but it's absolutely wonderful. I've been finding myself gravitating more and more to gothic doom metal and I'm not mad about it.

2) Kesha - Praying

SHE'S FUCKING BACK! Do I have to say much about this? No. She hit that note and sealed the deal that she's back and is gonna slay the game.

3) Silentium - Shame Forever Mine

I decided to check out more from them after falling in love with Hangman's Lullaby and I'm so glad I did. This song is so gorgeous and was way better than I expected it could be. Gothic doom metal at its finest. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them.

4) Phedora - The Way is Shut

I discovered this song through Spaceuntravel on YT. It's so different. If nu metal and progressive metal had a baby, this would be the result of it. The synths are absolutely wonderful and are low key my favorite part about this song. Definitely give this a listen.

5) Cradle of Filth - Heartbreak and Seance

Let me get this out of the way: it starts out kinda bland and boring, but it kicks into high gear and gets so much better halfway through. They definitely went in a different direction for this track and I'm digging it so far and wonder if the whole album will follow a similar direction. Also, the video is absolutely GORGEOUS.

6) Sarasvati - Entropy

I found out about these guys through their female singer after I heard her in a song she was featured in. She has such a great low and slightly monotone voice. The song has a bit of a doomy/post metal vibe to it and I really like it. Definitely plan on listening to more from them.

7) Eskimo Callboy - MC Thunder

This is one of those songs/videos you see the thumbnail of and have to check it out. The video is bizarre, but the song itself is so fun. I LOVE the bridge. The breakdown and the "dubstep" bit go so well together and suit the atmosphere of both the song and video. The sound reminds me a bit of We Butter the Bread with Butter, but less electronic. I think I'll check out more from them in the future.

8) Suodeth - Nothing

I think I discovered this band through Facebook one day a few months ago. They're a symphonic death metal band whose "orchestrations" resemble that of something from a power metal band and I really like it. This song's flow and the orchestrations are absolutely wonderful. I'm for sure gonna check out their upcoming album when it's finally released.

9) Dreamslave - Torments

I discovered this band a few years ago and they have FINALLY released a music video. They're a theatrical sounding symphonic metal band. This video definitely rekindled my love for this track. It's so good, dramatic and theatrical. The singer gets into the music in the video and looks absolutely amazing. Can't wait to hear and see more from them in the future.

10) Omnimar - I Wanna Know Now

I decided to listen to their new album, Poison, and this and Out of My Life have to be my favorites off it. This song just has this vibe and flow to it that is absolutely wonderful. I really want to discover more industrial/harsh ebm/darkwave bands like these guys, so if you have any recommendations, feel free to send me some.

11) Karkaos - Tyrants

Children of the Void is an epic album, but this song, Kolossus (feat. Morgan Lander of Kittie) and Bound by Stars are the standouts on it for me. The symphonic element complements the instrumentals and suits the vibe of the song (as well as the rest of the album), but my favorite part is the last minute or so of the song. It just changes form and goes absolutely ape shit. Love it.

12) Empyrean Throne - Haereticus Stellarum

I can't remember how I discovered this band (it was either through IG or FB), but they're symphonic black metal band that I'm getting hooked on. There's something about them that really stands out to me. I think it's their choir and the fact that it's mainly (if not only) tenors that I love it so much. I'm really looking forward to their upcoming album, because I'm loving everything I've heard so far.

13) Kobra and the Lotus - Light Me Up

I know it's bad to judge the direction of an album off singles, but I have a feeling their upcoming double album is going to be a bit more emotionally driven and have more of proggy element to it. I'm not mad about it at all, in fact, I love it. It's just different from their older stuff. But then again, these are just singles, so everything else can be like their usual stuff. ANYWAYS, love the song. It's so beautiful, probably their prettiest song I've heard from them.

14) Eilera - Angel Made Temptress

I rekindled my love for this song thanks to Facebook Memories. It's such a gorgeous track. The singer has this kinda raspy voice and blends in with her pretty cleans so beautifully. It is a bit catchy, but not in a bad way. Love this song so much. I really need to check out more from them.

15) Exit Eden - Impossible (Shontelle cover)

Another outstanding cover from them! They did so good with this cover. I remember when this song was released, everyone in my school was obsessed with it, so them doing a cover of it brought back some of those memories. I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of the album. I need the box set in my life!

That’s it for the month of July! I wonder what obsessions August will bring.

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