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muzzleroars · 2 years

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as a fellow cyrus enjoyer, I couldn't have put why I believe he's an interesting character into better words than you have??? thank god someone can explain it. what are your thoughts on pokemon special's approach on his character and possibilities of healing, if you've read it?

omgggg thank you so much!! i always get nervous posting my ideas and that goes especially for new characters i've found, so it makes me really happy to hear i'm at least resonating with some of his other fans!!

as for pokespe, i have read the dppt arc!! i actually want to reread it soon now that i've really fallen completely into a ditch for cyrus, but i personally seriously enjoyed it. what stood out to me in his characterization was the amount of passion and dedication he had to his cause and, frankly, to his interests. his engrossment in his plans doesn't come off quite as gloomy as it does in game (although it's just as self-important) and he seems more enraptured by his world of salvation. like he very much acts as though he's on the verge of finally dispelling all of his pain and tbh it makes him a little quirky which i found pretty endearing ;o; and while it's a bit hard to articulate, cyrus in pokespe feels like someone who has absolutely no thoughts outside of what he's doing to the point of not being able to see anything as outside of that framework. one of my favorite scenes was his confrontation with cynthia because i think it pretty starkly showcases this facet of his character - he's excited to be pelted by draco meteor because, well....meteors are from space! and since i see cyrus as being both single-minded to the point of folly and quite unconventional in his thought process, i really enjoyed how his reaction was written.

and then ohhhh my god mt coronet and the distortion world. i basically adopted the mt coronet scene for my own personal canon because that underlines how deep into this i truly believe he is. he is being torn apart and he's bleeding out of his eyes but he keeps. pushing. he doesn't let go. he doesn't falter. he doesn't let whatever pain he's in even register because this is what it means to rend an entire universe. all that strangeness melts away to reveal his core, a desperate man suffering so much that he would go so far, that his single-mindedness is woven deep into the very fabric of him, that it is him at this point. this plan is what he's become and the way he views the world is so ingrained into his being, how wretched it is wracks every part of him to the point clawing apart a universe. and like they didn't HAVE to do that but i thank them for it!!!

and then???? he gets to have a healing arc????? this choice is a really important one to me because i think it solidifies that cyrus isn't, at his heart, a bad person whatsoever. it shows that his expressed motivations are actually true, that recreating the world isn't just a vanity project to him but is sincerely a way to rid it of pain. he truly believed the spirit was lacking, that everyone being so incomplete led to violence and suffering, and so his obsession in finding a solution for everyone was more than justified. but he also isn't so far gone that he's no longer open to alternatives - he sees the protagonists join together in their cause to create completion, to make a single full spirit out of many, and it clicks for him. and it's just so interesting to make a character this deeply invested in his agonizing work be able to see the other side….and accept it without fighting against it.

returning to his backstory, cyrus had difficulty connecting with others and others, in turn, didn't try to connect with him. he was a child left alone with only machines to relate to, he became othered and placed outside of the world, and so he couldn't see humans as anything but incomplete because all he knew was loneliness. and he had to believe that's how it was, that bonds were superficial and ephemeral things because his isolation was so complete he had nothing else to go on. however, he recognized what the protagonists had done and he incorporated it into his worldview in his time spent in the distortion world. people can be completed together and those bonds are their bridges. and he's grateful. he's not angry. he's not bitter. he spent a life alone, believing relationships mean nothing and can only lead to ruin, yet he sees it, he reasons it out, and...he's grateful that his mind was changed and that he could see them be better. that's so neat to me!! and it speaks to something very unique about cyrus's character...his plans and perspective had become him but here he moves on because he's proven wrong. so much so that he agrees to help the protagonists in the end and his heart opens to make shaymin bloom. it's genuinely such a deserved ending for him that i almost cried over it like the baby i am!!! but cyrus is just one of those villains that is so obviously doing what he does out of pain and a genuine (albeit deeply misguided) attempt to help that it feels good to see him get a happy ending. and i love that he takes responsibility for the commanders too....it's just all so satisfying to me!! i love pokespe cyrus and i hope he's very happy for always ;o;

#THAT'S another thing #him connecting with shaymin is also in my post canon au #because did that scene just hit me where it hurt #but yes i do love this quirky little spaceman....he.....#and i can't reiterate enough how his acceptance is so fascinating #in SO deep but happy to be proven wrong??????#because you know what he doesn't want that pain to be universal #he doesn't want a world where everyone suffers as he did #and he's so grateful to be wrong #king!!!!#cake answers #cyrus

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vulpixenthusiast · 8 months

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Ok so this is me ranting abt lanfears character as a whole , not the show. If you’re bored or have nothing to do kkkkk this is long af and very messy, incoherent jumble of thoughts. I just needed to post this into the void to vent.

More after the cut

Ok so thing is: I never loved lews therin crazed obsessed lanfear. Never. Every time she’d say he’s been mine he will be mine forever and hated on illyena( yuc) I went yeah yuc. That was just such a boring stereotype, especially for a dark haired woman villain x innocent virgin boy. HOWEVER, I did love powerful, yet power hungry, proud and arrogant and MISCHIEVOUS ( loving to play pretend ) lanfear. ( crazy too, but for power, as seen in “we could defeat the dark one AND the creator.”) Then, of course, was the other “””endearing””” thing that Lews to her was like. The only one ever. Ever. In her own words to Mat: “there is ONE man who could walk beside me, ..” which is why the line “her new lover she seeks who shall serve her and die” never made any sense to me. Ofc, later on we get her and Perrin storyline( which hammers on the succubus metaphor, which I LOATHE, especially combined with power hungry) and then yeah the prophecy kinda makes sense. But then she’s not lanfear anymr she’s cyndane. Anyway.

I loved her more so because of all the POTENTIAL I saw her as a character, as a villain and antagonist and then possibly an “ally””” at the end( many air quotes kkkk ).

I LOVEDD when we got to the Aiel backstory and discovered she was Mierin eronaile, the researcher in charge of the team who opened the bore, aka, a literal hole in reality, allowing the dark one to touch the world. Like. What a pandora reference right??? You’d think a character like that would have more importance and development in a series so big right? She doesn’t really. She just stays 1 dimensional forever. And as soon as I knew that, after book 5, I quit wot. Also because moraine went with her, the deaths I found out about, siuan and Garett Bryne etc I digress.

My main beef was the complete waste of a good villain or antagonist like her.

So yeah. I loved her not for her main characteristic in the books( crazed ex gf) but for all the depht I WISHED she had. which tbh, it’s 90% on me, BUT the other 10’s are Robert Jordan’s bc he did set it up with things in the books I don’t have half a mind to remember right now, but one was her backstory.

So I am disappointed and sad with eps 4 ending because it did solidified that she will still be defined by her obsession and possessiveness with and of lews therin. Following up very likely with her hatred of Illyena. And yeah that is her character. And it is my own fault that I expected that to be changed. And still hope they tone it down after FOH.

All of that to say that apparently I’ve never been a real lanfear Stan kdkdkdkdkd I’ve just been a mierin Stan and power hungry lanfear fan. Not crazy gf, 85% of her personality, fan. And that’s on me KKKKK

I mean, if at least rbj gave her a backstory with lews, showed HER side of the story, then maybe yeah I could get a bit behind the over jealous ex stereotype. But all the books ever told us was: she never loved LTT, she loved his status, she loved his power, etc. well okay, then, show us. SHOW US HER perspective. Let us see WHY, HOW, she loved those things. Let us see if she didn’t in fact love him a little bit. Like.

What a shallow character would she be if she did only love those things bc,,, they were those things. She’d be just a shallow woman. And you could argue that that was in fact Robert Jordan’s intention. To show that yeah, here was this villain, superpowefull and beautiful, and yet, she was just an awful shallow human being in a human way. And maybe I read it wrong you know, maybe bc I didn’t want to view it like that, I didn’t. But like how Robert Jordan had her say lines and then cut her middle sentence. Intriguing. More mysteries. She was the one to free the dark one. Oooh VERY interesting. Crucial even( turns out not). She was the only forsaken to choose her name( oh wow! That’s more intriguing!). She had a meaningful relationship with the main protagonist! Wow! Wonder how that’ll affect the story and his journey! ( not much really, that’s just given to Ishmael/ Moridin).

What I’m saying is that Robert apparently wrote all those things to make her interesting and important to the narrative , hell to the whole reason the apocalipse was happening again, he did all of that, he was building this character like that, to just what. Go 180 degrees back and tell us : actually nevermind, she’s just some shallow woman, who opened the bore on accident and none of the events I just presented matter. At her core, she’s just a hollow woman, chasing power for power. Fuck you Robert Jordan why would you make me invested to do that?

Could’ve been a great critique, except that we are in a fictional book and I LOVE MY EVIL WOMEN, and ya know what. I want COMPLEX characters. You gave Ishmael complex reasons. You gave semirhage and graendal intriguing reasons. You already gave the men and the other women petty reasons. Why would you give the worst to the woman who is at the core of all this that’s happening? Bc of that? I don’t get it and it’s why it gets me so pissed.

This was a long ass rant and probably incoherent but I needed to sort my feelings out because I am a mess.

#lanfear #me

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stephspurs · 3 years

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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. This is a window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the Italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

Wow - the response i received in a little under 24 hours since i posted the first taste of part 1 has truly bowled me over! I wasn't expecting that reaction & tbh i would have been happy if 2 people wanted to read this story hahaha! So, i've been writing in the background & the first few parts have already been proofed and are ready to go. HOWEVER! I am open to your suggestions so please please let me know what you think and how you want to see Amelia's story play out. As far as i'm concerned, this fic is as much yours as it is mine! So please enjoy this first part, in its entirety, and let me know your thoughts! Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 1 | prima parte

warnings; none - maybe a bit of angst? (what sibling rivalry doesn't have a bit of angst)

word count; 1978 words

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Sunday 25/07 5pm AEST. Updates will be twice weekly at this stage. Probably Wednesday’s and Sundays from next week!!

link to fic masterlist here

The world of football, no matter how big it may seem, is as tight as a close-knit family. Whether its management staff, senior players, scouts, academy players, business developers, medical team, groundskeeper - everyone knows someone who knows someone else involved in the sport. For Amelia White, it was a family affair.

Having grown up with her father as a senior tactical analyst for many different clubs throughout his career, and an older brother currently playing for Brighton in the Premier League, there was no opportunity for her to escape the fanaticism of the sport. It was what her household lived and breathed, football. Most would think that, with her brother being as successful as he is now, her childhood was shadowed by her brother's success but that's not the case. She capitalised on her ability to think both logically and creatively, and absorbed all of the information her father could give her as if she was a sponge, to establish a name of her own in the sport and advance her career in the sport. At the age of 21 she upped and left the comforts of her home in West London, accepted a position at Juventus within their graduate program & worked her way up the ranks to be their youngest tactical analyst by the age of 24.

So far in her career, the support of her mother, father & brother were unmatched by any. They were all so proud of her for making her own name, proving herself and succeeding in one of the most competitive football leagues in the world. She was smart, tactful, both meticulous and ruthless in her approach to her career and the success of her players. Because after all, they were her players. She worked day in and day out, studying them and their opponents, drafting performance plans and set pieces for every possible outcome of the play, so that they could perform at their best. They had her trust and faith, and she had theirs. This is probably what her family was most proud of, and wished her every success, until she was appointed as a tactical analyst for the Italian National Team for the upcoming Euro 2020 tournament. Which happened to be the same tournament that her brother had received his call up to the Three Lions. Which was the current level at which her father was a senior tactical analyst for the English National Team. The Euro 2020 Tournament was about to be a real family affair...

10 July 2021

It had been 2 months since she last had any contact with her family. 3 months ago, Amelia signed a contract with the Federcalcio, the governing body of football in Italy, to become the Azzurri’s tactical analyst for the foreseeable European Football Championship. In turn, her silky signature at the bottom of the agreement, also constituted a digital and physical contact ban with members of her family that were also involved with the tournament...her father and her brother.

At the time of the contract, and against her better judgement, Amelia hadn’t told her family of her opportunity. She knew her father would be proud, but her brother would be bitter. Her mother was switzerland, completely neutral and rooting for both of her children - but that's not how football works. No matter your role you have a job to do, and you do everything you can to make sure it is your team that lifts the trophy at the end of the tournament. So, on May 23rd her family congratulated her for another successful season at Juventus, and unbeknownst to them, said goodbye for the next 2 months. Until the day before the final match of the tournament, Italy v. England.

Her heart dropped when England won their semi final match against Denmark. She wanted nothing more than for her brother to be happy and for her father to succeed, but she didn’t want to have to go up against them in the final. Ultimately, she knew they were good, but she also knew that she could hold her own and compete with the best. Having a close relationship with her brother, up until this period, meant that she often paid attention to the premier league. This was a major benefit to her as she had already started analysing the azzurri’s opponents. It was her job to know what foot Raheem Sterling preferred to pass with, what direction Declan Rice preferred to take the ball up the field, what direction of receiving the ball did Harry Maguire struggle the most with. So that's how she spent the three days between matches, solidifying her knowledge of her opponents & predicting the plays her dad would be instructing the English team to complete, to attempt to outperform the Italians. However nothing would prepare her for the knock on her suite door, or for what was on the other side…

_____________________________________________________________

“Ciao Amelia, vieni con me per favore. abbiamo organizzato una visita supervisionata con tuo fratello prima della finale di domani sera. sorpresa!” (hi amelia, come with me please. we have arranged a supervised visit with your brother prior to the final tomorrow night. surprise!). I stood there in shock staring at one of my players & closest friends, Federico Bernardeschi. I was a person who didn't enjoy spontaneity, who thrived off of preparation and organisation. I needed the opportunity to overthink every situation so that I could prepare for every possible outcome. This was not my idea of a good time. Of course I missed my brother, but I know just how volatile he can be. Nevertheless, I grabbed my jacket and shoved my sneakers on before following Fede down the hall and into a blacked out van that was waiting to take me to St. George’s Park for my family reunion.

Upon arriving, and after a stern pep talk from Fede (who was my appointed supervisor for the visit - not sure I would say he was the most responsible choice but he did talk some sense into me) I walked into the main entrance and saw my father leaning against the reception desk waiting for me.

“Papa!!” I called as I walked over to him, ready to smother him with my love and affection. My father, Dean White, and I had as good of a relationship as possible, being that he was always heavily involved with my brother Ben’s footballing career as well as his own. I think when I came along, my father didn't know how to be a girl dad, so he took my mothers advice and just involved me like he would Ben. I was glad that I would be seeing him first, and he would be taking me to see my no-doubt pissed off brother.

“Dad, this is Fede, one of my players”

“Ciao Dean, it’s very nice to meet you but i am also her bodyguard for this evening” Fede introduced himself to my father and they exchanged pleasantries. I had a look around the foyer of the facility until I heard my name brought up in conversation.

“Amelia, come on. The boys are just over here. I don’t think you have long before heading back to your camp” My dad called to me. Boys? As in...more than just my brother?

“Hahaha that's funny dad, just show me to his room and we can have our screaming match there. Should only be about 20 or so minutes”

“Ben’s not in his room, we have a recreation room for the players and staff to lounge about and relax in. Pretty sure he’ll be in there. Come on, you’ve never been scared of your brother before. Why start now?” Before I knew it, Dad was leading us through some doors and into a large common area with bean bags, pool tables and couches - all occupied by current first team members of the English National Football team.

“Dean mate, don’t normally see you down here after 7pm. Oh look at that, someone let the trash in.” A loud mouthed player, that I used to adore as if he was my own brother, calls out as he notices us enter the room. And just like that, I shake off my nerves, stand in front of my taller & more argumentative bodyguard, relax my shoulders and stare into the eyes of Kyle Walker - daring him to challenge me and push me further.

“Relax Kyle, Benjamin White - your sister is here to see you.” Dad cut Kyle off. I didn’t need him to defend me against Kyle’s harsh comments, I could defend myself.

“Wow, I thought hell would freeze over before I got the opportunity to speak to you. Of course, I didn't realise hell would look quite like seeing you in that shade of blue.” My brother, Ben, spoke bitterly at me as he approached me from the other side of the room. This, coupled with Walker’s exclamation earlier, got the attention of the majority of the players scattered about.

“Ben, if you let me explain in private I'm sure you will be able to understand why things had to be this way” I tried to reason with him. Letting go of my always-defensive guard and pleading with my big brother to open his mind to see my side of the story.

“As if I would even talk to you right now, the night before the final, you’re probably here to try and get some insider information. Boys make sure you don’t say anything to her, she’s as sly as they come” Ben’s words were as sharp as a knife - but I knew what I had to say would cut him deeper.

“Ok that's enough! You are ridiculous! What did you expect me to do? Not take the job because you’re my brother? This is my career we are talking about here” I challenged him. “If you think for one second i stopped supporting you then you must be even more stupid than i thought. Of course this isn't the ideal situation, I'm proud of you for reaching a final but I'm just as proud of myself for doing the same thing.” I got progressively closer to my brother, who stood there with his hands beside himself, unable to get a word in.

“I came tonight to wish you good luck, to tell you I loved you, to give you a hug and tell you to stay safe and play smart. Whilst I still wish all of this for you, I now want you to know that I want you to play your best so I can be better than you. I can show you exactly how good at my job I am. I want you to know that no matter what way you play the ball, I'll be right there waiting for you. I am prepared for this, I hope you are too - so that it will feel that much more sweet when we beat you” I sneered at my older brother, who at this point, is quite visibly feeling a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

I take a step back, let out a breath and shake the tension from my shoulders. Breaking eye contact with my brother, I look briefly - yet confidently - at the other players in the room and take a step back. I turned to my dad, who was looking at me solemnly, as though he wasn’t happy with my outburst but understood it came from a place of frustration with my sibling. Walking up, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wishing him luck, I turned to look at Fede and began to walk to the door. This interaction with my brother, although supposed to be a nice moment shared between siblings, has only gone and motivated me to be at my best tomorrow, to prepare my players to go to war and to come out the other side victorious.

Part 2 | seconda parte

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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years

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jib 7 breakdown and analysis

a little while ago i said that i am open to requests for making analysis posts when it comes to cockles panels and just cockles in general, and i got quite a few responses. the first person who asked me was my lovely tea anon, and the panel in question is jib 2016 aka jib 7.

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video.

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. my recommendation would be to watch the panel in its entirety alongside my comments. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

the overall vibe that this panel gives me is that jensen and misha are a unity at this point. they are in sync with each other, and this whole panel is very relaxed and in good spirits. there is also the fact that their outfits match very well. and with jensen ross ackles involved, that cannot be a coincidence, so i love that a lot.

another thing that i cannot ignore is that it’s also a very sexual panel, with a lot of double meanings and innuendos and remarks that can be read as sexual if you are as pervy as me.

now let’s get into the specifics.

although i am sure this is not going to be news for any of you, i feel like a little background knowledge is in order. before this panel, misha had had a panel that day with j*red. the mishalecki panel was really fucking funny and filled with sexual innuendos.

between these two panels, it appears that there was a break in which they all had nothing to do (i am basing this off other people’s experiences and reports that i have read in the past, as i unfortunately wasn’t there myself).

considering how this panel goes, i think there is a good chance that jensen and misha just had sex beforehand. and based on both of their demeanors, one could draw certain conclusions about who did what (i honestly don’t like talking about who tops and who bottoms because who gives a shit and things are rarely that black and white, but all i’m gonna say is that even though jensen has joked about his asshole before, jensen and misha clearly said switch rights).

from the very first second. the VERY FIRST SECOND. jensen is sauntering on stage like he is thee man. then the crowd is cheering ‘one more time’, and jensen looks at misha, starts cheering too, and makes a movement that is bordering on obscene before waving it away. conclusion: ‘one more time’ could also mean ‘one more round of hot steaming sex’ and he still had sex on the brains, so that was what he was thinking about.

ahhh, the intricate ritual [1m34s] of greeting each other on stage as if you haven’t spoken to each other all day, even though you probably just had sex….. jensen ackles, i wanna study you. i wonder what the deal is with that. does he just like to pay misha extra attention on stage? does he revel in the fact that he knows that fans like this sort of interaction? can he just not help himself? questions that keep me up at night.

also, there is just SOMETHING about the way jensen says ‘i’m doing well how are you?’ it’s almost flustered? borderline shy? and then he goes on to say that he did an impression of misha earlier, in a manner that’s just so flirty. idk guys. it’s flirty. kindergarten flirty, but flirty nonetheless.

misha, of course, immediately turns his entire body towards him. almost as if they both already forgot there is an audience in front of them. then he just gets closer and closer to jensen, for no reason whatsoever except for the pure magnetic pull they have on each other. pray4misha.

i think it is a testament to how in sync they are that misha immediately realises that jensen mentioned bicycle touring during his ‘impression of misha’, and i love the moment where jensen puts on an accent (something that misha normally does) and goes ‘is like sport’ and misha laughs and goes ‘is very similar to sport’ and they both lose it. idk, i feel like that might be a sort of inside joke to them as well.

this might be slightly reaching, but hear me out: right away, jensen goes: ‘oh by the way, sore?’ why would he say ‘by the way’? what is he thinking about when he says that? is it about ‘is very similar to sport’? because i could totally see them having sex and refering to it as ‘well that’s kind of like a sport’, as an inside joke. it works. i’m just saying!!!

look. i know this back and forth has been discussed to death. we all know that the implication is that jensen fucked misha and misha is kind of stunned that jensen actually goes there. so stunned that he repeats it: ‘sore? am i sore?’ almost as if to stall a bit in his response. yikes.

i think that it’s fair to say that this is something jensen enjoys doing: riling misha up on stage. because a lot of the time, misha has the upper hand on stage (probably also in the bedroom but that’s another conversation), but sometimes. sometimes jensen just can’t help but throw a lil oil onto the fire. (see also: underbear panel, throwing himself on stage to get straddled, etc).

misha goes on to say that ‘after the panel with j*red’ he is quite sore. you can take that at face value, and think ‘oh so he is joking around that the panel with j*red made him sore haha’ or you can see a little bit of the truth shine through: literally after that panel, something happened that made him sore. it’s always easier to lie when you are bending the truth.

i actually can’t believe i never connected the dots before, but when misha deflects and says ‘oh you’re talking about the bike riding’ jensen is quick to say: ‘oh no i was talking about what just happened’ but instead of pointing at the stage (which is where the previous panel took place) he is gesturing to backstage. i mean…. way to feed into my ‘they just had sex backstage’ theory, jackles. thanks for that.

i cannot get over the way jensen is looking at misha throughout this whole ordeal, but especially when he goes ‘you heard it here first, folks’ and misha walks up to him. THAT FACE. fuck him. he’s so gone.

sidenote: i have never wished to be able to read lips as much as i have since i have stumbled upon these two morons, because i WISH i could see what misha is mouthing to jensen. i know there is some spec that he might have said ‘i am a little bit’ (aka he is a little bit sore) and i could see that, but i just want to know for sure. and even though i have seen people state that jensen would have already known about the panel with j*red, i think it’s possible misha hadn’t filled jensen in yet, seeing as they probably were doing something other than talking.

let me take this moment to tell y’all about one of my jenmish theories, and that is: i think that jensen sometimes is overprotective of misha and that can come across as jealousy when it’s actually just worry. and i think this panel is a good example of that.

misha says [4m25s] that in italy they call come influence and jensen just. straight up looks at misha like ‘what the fuck did you do, what mess did you get yourself into this time?’ this is another reason why i believe he actually didn’t know about what happened during that panel yet: the reaction looks very authentic. you see his eyes shift from one side to the other and back again, as he is trying to process it. and honestly when you look at misha, his face goes through this journey of ‘this is funny’ to ‘shit is this maybe going a bit too far?’ and ending on ‘okay wrap it up wrap it up’. this is further solidified by the fact that jensen starts to mime digging a grave (aka ‘digging your own grave’).

misha tries to ‘change the subject’ by saying cas is the bottom in the implied relationship with sam and jensen immediately brings it back to sports. see what i meant when i said that they are tying sex and sports together? here jackles goes again, doing exactly that. for no reason whatsoever. (except to once again proof my point).

WHY [5m50s] do they both burst out laughing at ‘tight end’ why why why i don’t wanna know but why why also quick reminder of ‘are you sore at all’ help i am just. EVERY DAY they are making me perceive things and connect dots and i do not like it. anyways i’m not saying that this is all very graphic stuff about their sex lives but i’m also not not saying it, you feel? jensen’s face says it all tbh. on a more wholesome note: i love the fact that they basically wanted to say ‘we should take questions’ at the same time. again: in sync.

when the first person to ask a question said ‘this is a serious question’ misha goes to explain to jensen that that was a joke during his panel with j*red, another reason to believe that he hadn’t told jensen about the panel yet. jensen’s face there…. heart eyes motherfucker.

i really don’t see enough people talk about the ‘safe word’ [6m38s] bit. jensen is the one to bring it up ‘so we should probably establish a safe word at this point. mine is keep going.’ misha laughs, and then realises what jensen has said, and (here comes my dom/sub truthing) teases jensen by saying ‘what is your safe word?’ to which jensen replies ‘keep going’ but LOOK at jensen’s face after he says that. he shakes his head with a little smirk and looks at misha with such a knowing look in his eyes that says ‘you fucker you know damn well what my safe word is’ and he actually does a double take and immediately rolls his eyes at himself after that. it’s all very quick but it’s far from subtle and i am here for it.

i fucking love this next part because when the person says ‘a real story about the real jensen and the real misha’ they both are just like ‘yes okay’ but as soon as they say ‘that you have never told anyone before’ jensen just looks down and moves his head as if to say ‘what the hell am i supposed to come up with then’ lmao it’s really funny, and they end it with: ‘to know you a little bit better’ and guys (gn) i beg of you to look at the way they look at each other here. [7m24s] jensen is just like ‘help wtf should we say to this’ and misha just smiles down at him fondly like ‘sigh our fans really want us to talk about our relationship and as much as we would love to share stuff we just can’t’.

when misha says ‘we have to dust off some of those stories that we usually try not to tell other people’, something comes to mind: the ‘3 least ordered items on the menu’ story, that jensen shared a year after this at honcon. i honestly think that maybe they started to talk about what else they could share with the public, after this panel, because they get similar questions like this one all the time. either that or jensen just thought about what he felt comfortable sharing, without talking to misha about it, and decided to tell that story.

i also absolutely love when they say ‘this is a serious question’ at the same time. AGAIN: IN SYNC!!!

‘i actually have a voice for you’ jensen can you please tell me why this sounds flirty and charming while you are actually about to make fun of your husband? i hate you (no i don’t) the fact that misha immediately knows what will happen, says a lot.

then jensen says: ‘dust off an old story for uhh..’ and burst out laughing. i swear to god i’d give my left pinkie to know what came to mind and what he whispered into misha’s ear. and i’m left handed. but i think we can all agree that whatever jensen said, it was something sexual, seeing as misha goes ‘nope’. those fuckers (affectionate).

something that i have mentioned in the past is that jensen always sort of ‘jokey’ goes ‘oh shit’ whenever misha says he’ll share something personal/private about them. i mean. jensen, it would be less sus if you didn’t respond. just giving you some pointers here, bro. because misha almost never shares something strange, it’s actually your reaction that makes me go ‘hmmmm.’ this time he even gets kind of elaborate breathing?? [10m27s]

oh to be a fly in clif’s car… honestly, the things clif must have heard and witnessed lmao. he clearly knows what is up between them (has made enough remarks about thinking that misha would be the bottom and that misha on his knees was nothing new for me to see that he absolutely knows.)

this isn’t really important when it comes to cockles but they talk a bit about j*red’s internet dispute with at&t and jensen goes ‘oh they know’ gesturing to the audience. so clearly, jensen is well aware of the fact that fandom gets involved whenever something happens online with any one of them. just. thought that is an interesting fact. just in general. also love how i can tell that they both think j*reds crusades are bullshit (as they should).

there is something really cute [14m13s] about the way misha goes ‘do you want your apple juice?’ and jensen goes ‘yeah!’ it sounds so domestic and mundane and i just. god i love them so much.

i know we talk about jensen’s heart eyes a lot. but y’all. look [14m52s] at misha right here. he’s SO in love.

the thing that strikes me about jensen putting on ‘that voice’ for misha is that misha is honestly not bothered by it at all, but i think if the shoe was on the other foot, jensen would definitely be bothered. i don’t know what conclusion to draw from that but i just thought that is interesting. i always laugh at that bit, though, they seem to have so much fun.

i REALLY wanna know how jensen got from ‘will you dance for us?’ to ‘no but i’ll tell you what, misha and i will write a song for you real quickly.’ it’s such a fast transition that i am tempted to think that this was something he had been thinking about for a while now. he just wanted his mish to sing a song. and that warms my heart.

if you think i will ever get over how soft jensen is here… ‘you’re smart, you think on your feet, you make brilliant videos, put them on facebook, write amazing texts (*coughs* poems) and tweets and stuff, go ahead. spit out some lyrics, big guy.’ there is not one single thing about this that i do not adore. an ode to misha!!!! so casually!!! fuck. it might be true that if you want jensen to do something, you get misha to ask him, but it’s certainly also true the other way around.

the way jensen just. stares [19m02s] at misha, trying to get inspired by him, trying to feel out what cords to play. yeah. the way misha stands up but instinctively turns to jensen when he starts to sing. yeah. and then during the remainder of the song, he keeps on turning to jensen even though he faces the audience. and jensen loved it all. it’s so sweet. idk why but it just is. jensen just wanted his babe to thrive and get the love he deserves.

aaaand in comes the dom shake [20m37s]. we love to see it. jensen just keeps on looking at mish. almost gets lost in it. touches his inner thigh (one of his habits, which he does a lot around misha or when talking about misha).

i think it’s very interesting that jensen’s reaction [22m11s] to the question if he thinks dean will ever find a way to have a romantic relationship and to find himself in between normal and supernatural, is to immediately looks at misha. like? what was the reason? did he expect misha to answer a question that wasn’t about cas but about dean? did he think he should maybe answer it in a destiel-like manner? was he worried that the fan was hoping for a destiel-like answer and was he looking at misha to gauge what he thought was a smart way to respond? so many questions.

i think it’s pretty interesting that jensen was very aware of the fact that people did not wanna see dean end up with a huntress lmao. he absolutely was aware of so many fandom things.

when jensen said that misha just crossed the line [23m40s], it’s another example of how jensen is ultra aware of what misha says and how it could get him into trouble and by the sounds of it, misha knows that as well but he just can’t always stop himself in time. from what we can see, he often realises just after he has already said something (when it is already too late).

listen. the fact that misha says ‘when harry met sally’ BEFORE the question was even finished, and jensen LAUGHS, like??? that panel was 5 years ago at that point. it clearly made a lot of impact on the both of them (jeez i wonder why, could it be because misha faked an orgasm and jensen got excited? hmm. who knows.)

i think the dance portion is so fucking hilarious i’m wheeeezing. literally. they are just moving randomly AND YET THEY STILL SORT OF ARE IN SYNC? amazing.

you wanna know what i find really cute? the fact that jensen has such a soft spot for the resume off. part of me thinks it’s because they had a resume off in both 2012 and 2013.

and jib 2012 took place during the famously rumored break up period. i wouldn’t be surprised if jib 2013 was that much more special to him because they finally got to make it right again. don’t look at me i’m getting emotional (on that note…… i might wanna write something about the break up period at some point. but idk. i mean. it’s a lot to delve into especially since i wasn’t in the fandom back then but. it compels me. we’ll see i guess.)

okay i know i keep saying this but they are SO in sync, as soon as they talk about photo ops and jensen goes ‘and to dab a little salt in the wound’ misha knows what he is gonna say, and they stand up together to demonstrate what happened. AND they both go ‘that’s not the punchline’ they are husbands.

misha and jensen have both “twirled away laughing” in the EXACT same manner during this panel: misha when jensen starts to read the script, and jensen right here when misha says ‘what’s it like to be in a successful long running show’. they are mirrors. listen. listen. i know my mind is in the gutter a LOT of the time but like. uhm. there is this moment where they recall a woman saying in the photo op to ‘eat it’ (the string candy she gave to them) and misha says ‘and so we did’ and jensen looks at misha and it is SUCH an incriminating look i mean i don’t wanna be that person but 5 bucks he was thinking about eating misha out i am JUST SAYING. LITERALLY LOOK AT HIS FACE. [28m55s]

misha teases [7m02s] jensen by saying ‘what did you do? did you actually do it on purpose orrrr’ and i think it was to make jensen elaborate on it. which i think is a fucking good way to pull that off when it comes to jensen. cause jensen doesn’t like to brag, which misha knows, so by making that joke he is essentially trying to get jackles to tell the audience more about what he did, without him feeling like he is boasting about himself. and misha looks so pleased when jensen starts talking.

fuck i literally had to pause just now because. jensen says: ‘one of the characteristics of dean that i love to play is that he can bottle those fears up, stash them away, and just go. and uhm… sometimes i wish i could do that.’

this is actually making me a bit emotional because. he took his time saying this. it was a very deliberate move. he wasn’t sorry he said anything or regretted it. he wanted to get that out there. and i just. it makes so much sense if what we all think is actually true. he wishes he could just ignore all his fears and go for it. and it’s not hard to imagine what ‘it’ could be: coming out. whether that be just about his relationship with misha or being attracted to more than women in general, just in any way shape or form. it’s poignant. and misha turns away, but you can see him sigh a little bit.

the whole bit about “apple juice” is just very cute and i enjoy it a lot. one thing i will say though is that i can kind of spot two tells of jensen: the way his face scrunches up when he is telling a lie that he thinks is clever, and the way he always leaves his chair to pour a drink when a question becomes difficult/hard/too funny to face head on. he has done both of those things time and time again, during panels with misha. just an observation.

there is this little moment [10m13s] where misha tells the story about how he used to make apple cider with worms and dirt in it and in the end he goes ‘anyways. new england apple cider everyone. highly recommend.’ and jensen echoes that, ‘highly recommend. yeah.’ and of course that could just be a way to joke around and play along with misha but i’d like to think that he has visited misha and they had some apple cider together. just because i like the thought and i can, so.

how CUTE is it that jensen remembers ‘i’ll just wait here then’, a line cas spoke 7 years prior to that panel, in a scene jensen wasn’t even in. i love it.

jensen slowly shaking his head when misha says ‘fuck’ and apologizing for it has SUCH major ‘excuse my husband’ energy. i love it.

‘i’ve got an idea’ [14m13s] ‘what? let’s do it’ misha imMEDIATELY regretted that lmaooo they are always so aware of double meanings and yet they cannot seem to help themselves. we love to see it.

can you BELIEVE jensen ‘dance monkey dance’ ackles OFFERED to shamelessly promote a movie they have nothing to do with??? jensen, who hates the fact that they have to play some sort of show on stage, actually wanted to do that with misha??? i’m just- something something if you want jensen to do anything ask misha, but apparently also: if you want jensen to do something get misha involved and he’ll love it.

and then he has the audacity to say ‘over to the wheel of love.’ i mean. i can’t.

(i don’t necessarily understand what is happening btw but that’s okay, because it leads to champagne. which is fun.)

okay so again apologies for my mind being in the gutter but jensen’s face [16m33s] when he says he is going to explain what [the champagne] tastes like……. hm. help.

honestly i just love the whole champagne bit because i love it whenever they get so playful on stage, and them “presenting” the bottle and going all ‘we know what we’re talking about’ ‘we’re kind of connaisseurs’ and the whole english accent bit. say it with me…. in sync.

jensen popping a champagne bottle is something that can be so personal…. (i’m touch starved and going crazy, leave me alone)

i absolutely love the fact that jensen notices that misha is miming taking off his pants and misha immediately runs to him to explain and jensen just goes full on protective husband mode (YET AGAIN) ‘i turn my back for 2 minutes’ lmao it’s just such old married couple behavior. an old married couple that is horny and deranged, but still.

i’ve seen the gifset of this moment [24m52s] many a times but i still think it’s so intimate. the way misha looks at jensen and walks backwards with him, for no fucking reason at all. sigh. misha’s hand clenches a little, and honestly i think he would have wanted to reach out to jensen in that moment. pat his arm or his back. and something happens a little while later that only proves my point even more…

that caress [60m5s] is probably one of the most intimate gestures i’ve seen between them. it’s so familiar. so natural. it says a lot.

and that’s the end of the panel. all in all i have to say that i enjoyed rewatching this panel with the analysis goggles on, because it’s really a very different experience and i picked up on a lot more than i did when i watched it just for fun. i think this is one of my favorite panels of theirs (at least until my next analysis lmao) because of the fact that they are so in sync with each other, which goes to show that their relationship was in such a good place (mind you i am only using past tense because i am describing a past panel, not because i think they’re not in a good place right now). this was a lot of fun folks, if you actually read all of this, god bles, you’re the best. see you next time!

#cockles #jib 7 #this is very very long but in my defense this panel is an hour long #comments and thoughts are always appreciated!!

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dionboop · 2 years

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PJO God's Fancast

Okay, I decided to do it, so here is my fancast for a bunch of the gods from the PJO series.

I'm not really trying to stick by the book descriptions of the gods or anything like that, instead, I'm going on pure vibes. That being said, for some of the gods (Namely Hestia) I've decided not to do a fancast because they are described in the book as appearing as children. I have included an Artemis fancast though! I also tried to give my reasoning for each choice, but tbh I have no idea how much it actually makes sense!

This list includes my fancasts for: Zeus, Hades, Poseidon, Ares, Hermes, Hera, Athena, Dionysus, Demeter, and Artemis!

I'll post another with the rest of my fancasts later!

Zeus - Nikolaj Coster Waldeau

I personally really loved the casting of Sean Bean as Zeus in the PJO movies (one of the only casting bits I liked.) So I kinda wanted to keep someone with a similar vibe, but also someone who could give off some new energy which is why I picked Nikolaj Coster Waldeu. I personally think he would kill this!

Poseidon - Taika Waititi

So not to hate on other peoples fancasts, but a common fancast I see for Poseidon is to have Logan Lerman come back and play him. I hate this with a burning passion. I've never felt that he suited the PJO series, much less the Poseidon related people. Nothing against him, he just doesn't fit the vibe for me. I've also been yelling to my friends about how I just don't think a white person should play Poseidon, which is how we end up here. I just think that Taika Waititi has an amazing ability to balance humor with seriousness, something that I feel is needed for Poseidon. Not to mention he looks the part as well!

Hades - Hiroyuki Sanada

My fancast for Hades changes so often that its really difficult for me to choose one at any time. However right now I feel fairly co fident about this choice which is Hiroyuki Sanada. First of all, he is an incredible actor and can play these more "serious roles" within stories. But he also can be more comedic when needed, not necessarily something 100% needed for Hades, but a nice addition. I feel that he gives off the vibes of a secluded God on the dead and I personally think he would nail this part.

Ares - Oscar Isaac

Oscar Isaac has played a variety of roles over the years, and he has killed each one, but he has definitely played quite a few more toughed up roles and proved that he could do those. I think having someone who isn't stereotypically "threatening" and make them threatening for the roles of Ares would be the way to go. Also I feel like watching Oscar Isaac throw hands with a twelve year old would be funny so...yeah

Hermes - Paul Bettany

If you've ever watched "A Knights Tale" then you will know that Paul Bettany would absolutely kill this role. He definitely has some of that trickster energy to him that I think is needed for Hermes, particularly I'm always drawn to when he played Chaucer in "A Knights Tale" as my reasoning for this. He can play both serious and "trickster" type very well.

Hera - Janet Montgomery

Particularly her energy in "Salem" really reads as Hera to me. She has this sort of poise to her in every role that really reminds me of the way that I remember Hera being written in the books. That sort of stand tall figure definitely reads to me as Hera. I also think that in her roles she has played a darker side that could translate to Hera's wrath type of thing!

Athena - Lupita Nyong'o

I don't really have much to say on this one. Lupita Nyong'o just has this energy of intelligence and wisdom around her, if that makes sense. So I always think of her as Athena.

Dionysus - Pedro Pascal

With Pedro recently having played Dieter Bravo, I definitely think that he has solidified himself as my pick for Dionysus. Not only could he fulfill the usual energy of Dionysus, but also in the cases where we see Dionysus being more protective over the campers, he could nail that. After all, he is Hollywood's go to for playing the protective fathe figure role.

Demeter - Audra McDonald

We're getting into the ones now that I really just chose based on vibes and vibes alone. I just think Audra McDonald would be a good Demeter mainly based on the myths as I don't believe she is in much of the actual PJO series. I just think she would kill it.

Artemis - Maisie Williams

You're gonna look at me and tell me Arya Stark isn't basically already Artemis??? She's already played a role similar to Artemis and I think she is still young enough to play the younger-looking Artemis in the series.

#percy jackson fancast #fancast #percy jackson #pjo

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white-tulips · 3 years

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well, since it’s 5 in the morning I think now’s the perfect time to ramble about my thoughts re: OMORI vs Yume Nikki game design, Black Space, and how trying to copy something successful kind of sets you up for missing the mark

these are thoughts I’ve been stewing in since january, I don’t want people to forget that I have a lot of opinions about OMORI as a game

(firstly, I’m sorry if this is all over the place or not worded well. it is 5AM)

I’ll preface this by saying that these are merely my opinions. I’m specifically going to be focusing on one aspect of game design here, so if you’re curious about any of my other OMORI game design opinions they’re scattered around my blog and are not hard to find tbh

okay so my thoughts about this are mostly Black Space exclusive, and considering that’s one of the climaxes of the game this might be a bit of a spicy subject to talk about KJFGHKFJG but I am passionate about good game design okay. especially in psychological horror RPG games. (also throwing out there jic that I don’t think OMORI is a bad psychological horror. pls reference this post)

(also want to say that I genuinely like Black Space. okay? okay)

so this was something that I was talking about with a couple of friends back when I first finished OMORI around the beginning of january. actually, at this point I hadn’t even played Yume Nikki yet, but when I did finally play it recently my thoughts on this were 100% solidified

essentially, our thoughts on this can be boiled down to how Black Space was trying too hard to be Yume Nikki, but didn’t grasp exactly what made Yume Nikki so impactful in the first place

obviously taking inspiration from something you like and wanting to rework it into your own creation is normal, good, and even encouraged! however, the most crucial thing with that is the “reworking” part. when being inspired by something, the goal is to take what you loved, and didn’t love, and mold it into something entirely new. it shouldn’t be “well I like this thing, and this thing did it like this so I’ll try to do it like that too” because it’s just not going to work. (this is actually an all around issue I have with OMORI, not just Black Space, but more on that later)

so to me, a good 50% of Black Space came of feeling kind of... eh...? it was like... you have 50% that feels so well thought out and meaningful, and then 50% that’s there just to. be there. and be like Yume Nikki, I guess. even before I played Yume Nikki, I couldn’t even remember some of the rooms in Black Space existed until I replayed it again, which is a shame because Black Space is the type of area where everything should leave an impact

now I want to talk about the game design itself-

Yume Nikki is a game about experiences, and atmosphere. there’s limitless area to explore, so much so that it feels endless. there are so few things to interact with that sometimes it feels like you’re doing nothing at all. all you have is aimlessly wandering these huge areas, taking in the sights, and listening to vague sounds and music in the background that are often just a few seconds of audio played on loop. (this is one of my favorite OST in the game. having this be all you hear for 30 minutes as you walk around in a looping forest really does things to your head)

it uses all of these elements to make you feel lost, confused, and very alone. you’re just trapped in a dream, where even with all the space in the world to explore, the lack of anything to do makes it feel suffocating. even the small area you have in the waking world is designed in such a way that feels cramped and destitute-

Yume Nikki is a perfect example of “less is more” and “show, don’t tell.”

then take OMORI, which doesn’t really know how to balance those things with it’s tendency to try and shove too much in. for instance, think about the over abundance if NPCs with irrelevant fluff dialogue. it was all too much and so dull it got to a point I stopped reading most of them altogether

(and something important to note I think, is that the general feeling of Yume Nikki is the same throughout the entire game. the tone never really changes, and neither do the expectations. OMORI, however, tends to just drop things on you out of nowhere. and that’s not necessarily a bad thing! it works for a lot of different sections of the game, I’ll say.

however, Black Space was different. it’s kind of like, it just drops you in there and expects you to understand the way it works, despite the fact that all of the other horror segments lead you to have a completely different set of expectations for what you should be doing/feeling. it’s like shifting you into another game entirely, and it’s almost immersion breaking. up until this point, OMORI was not the same type of “show don’t tell” type of game, so suddenly jumping to attempt to do that can make it lose some of it’s impact)

like I mentioned before, Black Space is designed in a way that’s meant to mimic Yume Nikki. and I think we need to ask ourselves “just because we can do this, does it mean that we should?” again, taking inspiration isn’t a bad thing, but it’s the execution that matters

and here’s where my biggest issue actually lies, I suppose. it’s the fact that OMORI has multiple instances of trying to take inspiration from other things, and failing because it’s trying too hard to copy, not rework. it’s just most obvious because of Black Space, I think. because, like I said before, a good half of Black Space is just trying to be Yume Nikki without giving it any OMORI original flavor, and the fact that it’s trying to be something else is immersive breaking as hell to me

for example, take the red mazes. I don’t think the idea to incorporate it into OMORI was bad, but. you can plainly see when you compare the two maps that nothing was really reworked, made more interesting, or even given a OMORI flavored twist-

(Yume Nikki-1 ; OMORI-2)

another instance is less about the game design itself, but surprising/not-surprisingly, it actually has to do with OST

this is something my friend was telling me, because I myself have not read Umineko, but there are OST in OMORI blatantly trying to mimic songs from that VN, even down to their names

the biggest offender imo is GOLDENVENGEANCE which is a decent song, I won’t say it isn’t, but compare it to it’s Umineko inspiration, Golden Slaughterer

it’s just another unfortunate instance of “this thing I like is good, so I’ll try to copy it!” with no clear grasp on why it’s successful and it’s disappointing. that’s really the only word I have for it at this point, disappointing

and the reason it’s most disappointing is because of things in OMORI that are obvious inspiration, but were reworked so well

let’s take this other Umineko OST, Worldend Dominator. this is a brilliant song, and it’s really fun to listen to. and, it very clearly inspired beloved World's End Valentine

World’s End Valentine slaps. it’s great. it takes aspects of Worldend Dominator and shifts them around to be a unique and fun piece of music that also fits into OMORI perfectly.

something important to note about this, is that World’s End Valentine and GOLDENVENGEANCE were written by two different composers. what this makes clear to me is that there were people on the OMORI dev team that were better at reworking ideas than others. because, despite a lot of the criticisms I was talking about, there are things in OMORI that are obvious references that I love and think are great!

like this one, the most pointed out nod to Yume Nikki-

I think it’s great. it’s taking a very memorable bit of imagery from Yume Nikki, and giving it a reference while also giving it it’s own deeper meaning beyond just the aesthetics of it. it’s just good, I love it

and yeah, not all of Black Space feels like one giant copy of Yume Nikki. there are plenty of doors that I think take the same aimless, empty, and unsettling feelings and use them in a new way that feels more grounded in OMORI. my personal favorite door is the “Sunny... I love you.” room.

actually, funnily enough, the area in OMORI that felt the most like Yume Nikki to me wasn’t in Black Space at all. it was actually the snowy area right before Snowglobe Mountain. something about the vast empty space, simple yet atmospheric OST, and little things to find scattered around just gave me a nice Yume Nikki vibe, but mixed with the OMORI style (hell, the OST there and the one for the snowy area in Yume Nikki even have a pleasantly similar vibe, and not in the “oh this is a copy” way [X] [X])

gosh, I feel like if I keep talking I might end up going in circles more than I already have

hopefully my words made sense!! I’d love if anything I said resonated with anyone aha. I just hope that I’m not coming across as hating on something because I’m biased towards something else or something... almost all of the critiques I have about OMORI come from a place of genuine interest

thank you if you read all of this!

#text #omori #omori spoilers #oh no tumblr user white tulips made another opinion post that took 3 hours to type #meta

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reluctant-mandalore · 3 years

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Because You’re You (Din Djarin x Reader)

Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, pinning/yearning (only a little at the start), reader is asexual, reader is short, gender neutral pronouns used for the reader. Soft boyfriend Din. like very slight emotional hurt/comfort, its not super heavy or anything. Its pretty much just fluff.

Word Count: 1,797

Pairing: Din Djarin x gn!Reader (reader is also short and asexual)

a/n: @remmyswritings Thank you for requesting! I’ve never written an asexual reader before so I hope I did the fic justice. I’m a bit nervous about it tbh, but I really do hope you enjoy. This fic mostly features Din being soft and affirming the fact that he loves the reader very much and them being asexual doesn’t change this. He’s just all around a lovely fluff ball with supporting them.

The Mandalorian was always nervous about meeting new people. Over his years of bounty work, he had found that trust was a hard thing to come by. People were willing to stab you in the back without a second thought out there in the outer rim. So, it was safe to say that he was a little concerned when it came to meeting you for the first time.

Cara had vouched for you though, insisting that you were trustworthy and would do great with the kid. He was uneasy with the whole arrangement and was unsure of if he should even go to the meeting. Although, his trust for Cara and his need for someone to help him with the child had pushed him to go anyway. He knew that he should at least meet you before making up his mind on the matter, especially since you were a close friend of Cara’s.

When he did finally meet you, the first thing he noticed about you was how small you were compared to him. He practically towered over your own form, and he almost felt like a giant when standing before you that day. The next thing he noticed was your smile. It was one of the sweetest ones he had ever seen, dripping with kindness and brightening the room in an instant. Din had immediately known from that moment on that he never wanted to stop seeing that smile of yours.

Yes. Din Djarin—one of the most feared warriors in the Galaxy—had effectively begun to fall in love with you all thanks to a simple smile.

Overtime with you working on the Razor Crest, he had started to learn more about you and who you were as a person. He had seen how kind and patient you were, watching from afar as you looked after the child like he was your own. He admired your brilliance and found himself in awe at hearing you laugh. Everything about you was amazing in his eyes and each new thing he learned made him want to know more.

These discoveries had only solidified his growing feelings towards you, making his drop of infatuation develop into a full blown crush all too soon. He had found himself feeling things he had never felt before for another person—things he thought he wouldn’t ever feel.

At first your affection between one another came in small waves. Sometimes it was only a simple brush of the fingers or a touch of the shoulder. Other times it was a gentle compliment or flirtatious praise. Each one allowing your feelings for one another to grow more and more with every passing day.

Admittedly, he wasn’t the greatest with flirting, and at times he felt awkward when he tried to flirt with you. He had never really had the chance to experience a love like this—one that was soft and kind—making it completely foregin to him. Although, he had found himself desperately craving it and he wanted to confess these feelings of his to you. He wanted to be with and loved by you more than anything, though he never thought it would ever happen.

Stuff like that just didn’t happen for a man like himself.

Eventually Din had let it slip by mistake the one day. He had said it so simply and nonchalantly that he hadn’t even caught himself saying it. The realization of his accidental confession only came to be, when you had stared at him in shock and questioned him on what he had just said. Instantly, his cheeks had warmed with a blush, the next words leaving him turning into a muddled heap. He had tried to back track on what he had said, afraid of having just ruined the still developing relationship between you two.

Though the smile you wore on your face had made him pause his frantic rambling. Soon finding himself once again feeling lost while gazing at your captivating smile. His trance only breaking when the words that had left you caused for his own smile to form on his cheeks.

“Din I love you too.”

From there on out, you two were a couple through and through. Nothing could ever seem to get in between you two. You both were supportive with one another, and always seemed to have the other person's back. The relationship you had together appeared to be a perfect one, and it was something he cherished everyday.

Well, that was until he had noticed you suddenly acting differently around him.

Din could tell something was on your mind. He could see it in how you walked and noticed it in your unfocused gaze. You had started to look away from him in passing, sometimes avoiding him all together, your usual bright smile now missing completely.

The sight of you so down had made him feel worried and concerned. He didn’t like seeing you so upset all the time and he wanted you to feel comfortable enough with telling him things. Although, he really had no idea of how to bring this up to you, as he wasn’t well versed when it came to addressing these types of things.

For most of his life, he hadn’t been the most emotionally invested person. He had built up walls around himself, choosing to lock away his feelings in order to protect what was left of his already shattered heart. So when it came to talking or comforting someone, he found himself at a loss of words, unsure of what to say or what to do.

So, he didn’t say anything, instead choosing to comfort you through small gestures. Sometimes it was something simple, like buying your favourite snack at the market or leaving little notes for you around the ship. Other times it was through him taking the child off your hands for the day, or even staying in bed a little longer to cuddle with you in the morning.

Din knew that when you were ready to talk to him that you would. It didn’t matter how long he had to wait. All that mattered to him was you feeling comfortable and ready when you did. Until then, he would continue to support you the best way he could and knew how to.

“Din?” your quiet voice spoke to him one day, briefly pulling his attention away from the crate he had been rummaging through, “I need to tell you something.”

Hearing those words from you had instantly caused the man to completely pause what he was doing, turning to give you his full attention, “of course cyar’ika, what is it?”

Din had watched silently as you shifted awkwardly on the spot. His fingers twitching with the need to cup your cheek and comfort you away from whatever was currently clouding your mind. His heart had ached at your worried expression, and he soon found himself taking a step towards you, only to pause again when you had finally spoken again.

“I’m asexual.” You had said, biting your lip as you did, “I… it means that I don’t feel a need to have sex.”

Din had blinked in surprise, tilting his head in wonder as he continued to stare at you silently. He wasn’t expecting for you to say something like that in the slightest, though he felt a bubble of relief roll through him at the realization of your words.

“Is that what you’ve been worried about lately?”

“Yes? I mean… of course I was worried!” You said, tears forming at the corner of your eyes, “I was scared that you’d want to break up or leave me because of it.”

“I would never leave you over something like this!” Din had said quickly, his heart dropping at your words and at the sight of the tears leaving you, “I love you more than anything! I would never even consider ending things over this.”

“Really? So you don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?” he said, titling his head as he looked down at you again, “I mean… You being asexual doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“I… Din are you sure?”

“I’m more than sure.” He affirmed, taking your hands in his as he spoke, “Cyar’ika you’re one of the most important people in my life. I don’t know what I would ever do without you. You’re the most beautiful and wonderful person I know. And I love every bit of you. From your laugh, to your smile, and everything in between. I… Cyar’ika what I’m trying to say is that I love you because you’re you.”

“Really?”

Din had nodded, smiling softly beneath the helmet and brushing away some of your tears, “You being asexual doesn’t change who you are to me, nor does it change the fact that I love you. Cyar’ika you are everything to me and I only wish for you to be comfortable and happy.”

After those words he had pressed his forehead against yours, more small praises leaving his lips in hushed whispers as he did. His compliments were like music to your ears, his soft voice becoming a blanket of love and affection that held you close in its warmth. A few more tears had fallen from your eyes as you felt yourself relax in his arms, allowing for yourself to be swept away in his soothing presence.

“I’m glad you told me.” He had said, pulling back slightly to lock his gaze properly with your own, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide those things from me. We’re partners and I’m always going to be here to support you Cyar’ika.”

Hearing his words had brought a small smile to your face, and you sniffled quietly while looking up at him, “Thank you Din, for always being so kind and being there for me.”

“You don’t need to thank me cyar’ika,” He said lovingly, as his one hand moved to cup your cheek to brush his thumb against your skin again, “I love you so much and I’m just happy to have you in my life.”

In an instant you had thrown your arms around him, hugging him tightly and burying your face into his chest, “I love you too Din, and I’m happy to have you in my life as well.”

The Mandalorian had hummed in response now, his arms wrapping around you again as he rested his chin on the top of your head. He had held you like that for a while, allowing for the whispers of sweet praises and comforting words to leave his modulator once more. The rest of the evening would be spent with you two together, happy and excitedly looking forward to what the future held for the both of you as a couple.

----

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banana-milk-enthusiast · 3 years

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Thoughts on Studio Ghibli's Earwig and the Witch

The animation was great tbh the characters were really expressive and everything looked so comfy and lovingly rendered. I'm not sure why the graphic got so much hate the movie was perfectly pretty.

Idk if it was just me but the audio felt really off sometimes. The awkward dub lipsync aside the music was either too loud, too quiet or just plain ill fitting at times. Which is a waste since the actual soundtrack is pretty good

Maybe like halfway through the movie i was starting to think this would have been better executed as a tv show. And after the sudden timeskip and that super abrupt ending it was just solidified to me. Like i was definitely enjoying it but personally as a periodic tv show the pacing would have been much better.

From the getgo I realized that Earwig was a bit of a spoiled brat (which wasn't an issue to me in the least i would have loved her as a kid) but i honestly wasn't expecting for everything to end up going her way in the ending. That little girl knew what she was about and how to get what she wanted and did not hesitate lol 😂. A true master of manipulation with little to no repercussions. When i say I was pleasantly surprised by her taming her new fam to her every whim.

I do wish we actually got more info of the band's backstory it felt kinda brushed aside tbh and I got really invested in their flashbacks

The Mandrake was kinda hot ngl (but in like a tumblr sexyman kinda way) Not a fan of his super obvious anger issues tho, man needs anger management.

In fact the Mandrake, Bella Yaga and Earwig were all fairly spoiled selfish people they all kinda deserved each other and the fact that they just roll over once Earwig figures out how to stroke their ego's is jokes

Ultimately it was a pretty good movie and doesn't really deserve the hate I see it get. It does have it's issues but nothing glaring enough for the reviews to be this bad

#i might have to take up the book to see how things go but knowing me it'll take a few years #Earwig is a fun protag and i kinda wanna see more bratty kid protags lol #Earwig and the Witch spoilers #earwig and the witch #studio ghibli #my post #sidenote why do y'all hate 3d ghibli so much looking at the reviews is like the ronja show all over again

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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years

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KH: The Foreteller’s Animal Masks

This is half fun facts / half theory but basically it’s a list of which Sins/Foretellers are associated with which animals AND where the inspirations for the animal associations came from, since there’s actually a few different sources!

The first would be the Ancrene Wisse, which was a sort of field guidebook for Anchoresses (Female Abbesses/Monks/Nuns basically) containing rules of conduct and behavior

https://www.hermitary.com/articles/ancrene.html

This goes into many things that honestly have cool thematic ties with symbolism for stuff in Kingdom Hearts, which I could honestly make a whole post in it’s own for tbh, but for here were focusing on one passage:

“The wilderness is the solitary life of the anchoress's dwelling, for just as in the wilderness there are all the wild beasts, and they will not endure men coming near but flee when they hear them, so should anchorites, above all other women, be wild in this way, and then they will be desirable, above other women, to Our Lord.

In this wilderness are many evil beasts: the lion of pride, the snake of poisonous envy, the unicorn of anger, the bear of dead sloth, the fox of covetousness, the sow of gluttony, the scorpion with the tail of stinging lechery, that is, lust.”

So, we start out with a nice base for some of the Sin/Foretellers:

Ira - Wrath - Unicorn - Unicornis

Avaritia - Greed - Fox - Vulpes

Acedia - Sloth - Bear - Ursus

Invidia - Envy - Snake - Anguis

but then wait, here Gula/Gluttony is a Sow, a Pig, but in KH it’s a Leopard

As well as recently in KH, they��ve made it clear that Luxu/Luxuria is a Goat, not a Scorpion (As cool as a Scorpion would have been for Luxu’s emblem, but a bit too on the nose I suppose haha)

Well, interestingly enough, did you know that back when the 7 deadly sins was actually more like the 8 Evil Things once? And that they were also grouped into a Trio of their own?

(Despair as Tristitia being the 8th one, because it’s essentially the sin of falling to sorrow/sadness or giving up, of blinding yourself to other’s troubles and causing sorrow in return or being too sorrowful to act, later it was folded into Sloth as a lack of diligence)

But the 3 Major sin groupings was essentially the three Reasons that people would sin the deadly sins

Incontinence: Doing wrong because they couldn't help it. Or sinning from a lack of moderation or self-control.

Violence: Doing wrong because of anger, revenge or retaliation. Or sinning from by trying to force your will externally

Fraud/Corruption: Doing wrong on purpose in order to hurt other's. Or sinning from betrayal, lies and manipulation.

These three things form a sort of Unholy Trinity in opposition with the Divine trinity of Father-Son-Holy Spirit

And, very famously, Dante’s Inferno links these three groupings to three creatures from a famous bible verse describing the destruction of humanity via it's own nature:

Jeremiah 5:6 - “Therefore a lion from the forest shall slay them, and a wolf from the desert shall destroy them. A leopard is watching against their cities, every one who goes out of them shall be torn in pieces because their transgressions are many, their apostasies are great.”

A Lion, A Leopard and A Wolf.

Now based on Dante’s actual writing which grouping with which animal and which sins is often debated, but usually it’s roughly as follows:

Leopard of Incontinence: Gluttony, Greed, Luxuria (from Immoderation, Extravagance, Wastefulness)

Lion of Violence: Wrath, Pride (from Murder, Suicide, Squandering, Blasphemy)

Wolf of Fraud/Corruption: Envy, Sloth, Sorrow/Despair (Tristitia) (from Corruption, Thievery, Falsifier, Betrayal) (yeah... old timey people did indeed view what was essentially depression as a “willful” sin aka something people did on purpose to hurt themselves, like they drown in their sorrows willingly because of a refusal to heal themselves or as a willing corruption of their soul, nowadays if it existed would definitely be thought of a Leopard sin I’d think)

So here it’s very easy to see where Leopardos and Gula get tied together, because in KH the sin of Gluttony is lifted above the other’s in the group, which makes sense because being gluttonous for money is greed, being gluttonous for luxuries was Luxuria (or sex for lust)

And here also, the Sin of Pride/Superbia is again associated with the Lion as it is in the Ancrene Wisse (though it’s also associated with Wrath strongly as well, so no wonder MoM chose Ira to be the next leader after he was gone)

So in all likelihood, this means that the symbol of the Master of Masters is most likely a Lion of Pride, Superbia (and if he had his own union, it might be something like Leo or Panthera)

But honestly the biggest thing that definitely makes MoM the Lion of Pride is the passage in the Ancrene Wisse that elaborates upon the Lion of Pride, describing it as having “many cubs”:

“But the author continues the animal analogies, enumerating a classification of the sins. "The lion of pride has very many cubs," he states, and enumerates them: vainglory, indignation, hypocrisy, presumption, disobedience, loquacity, blasphemy, impatience, contumacy, contention, "airs and graces." “

Reminds me of both MoM’s many apprentices or Master Xehanort’s collection in the organization

Though the REAL reason is also because did you know when KH was still being thought of and designed, Nomura actually wanted to make Sora a Half-Lion Chainsaw Wielder and we all know Sora is secretly the MoM right lol

But anyway, that explains Gula being a Leopard

So then where did all this talk of Luxu being a Goat come from?

Well one reason could be that later on as the deadly sins got solidified as just the seven of them, and as their meanings changed from umbrella terms to more specific sins, their animal interpretations also started to differ:

Avarice/Greed = Toad/Frog

Invidia/Envy = Snake

Ira/Wrath = Lion

Acedia/Sloth = Snail

Gula/Gluttony = Pig

Luxuria/Lust = Goat

Superbia/Pride = Peacock

Also Ira with a Lion mask would be cool but can you imagine a Snail Aced or a Froggy Ava? lol

But it IS Cool to think that these “Modernized” animals could then become the emblems of the Union Leaders that inherited Ava’s legacy, since they are the newer versions of those Unions, obviously there’s no one to Inherit MoM’s legacy

But you could easily think of Ventus as the “Traitor” aka the scapeGoated 6th for the new group, leaving Frogs, Snakes, Lions, Snails and Pigs for the other five

(I wonder who I’d put with who... Ephemer, Skuld, Lauriam, Strelitzia and Brain... the only sin associated with Death would be Wrath (As Suicide) and the “Ira” position appears to be the one who inherits the leader, and it’s theorized Strelitzia was the circled name supposed to get the Book of Prophecies

So Strelitzia = Lion/Wrath

Ephemer and Ava always seemed to be the closest and he was the one who seemed to inherit her Legacy the most so he can get Frogs/Greed

Brain is similar to Gula in how they calmly investigate issues and try to uncover the truth and got extra information than the others, so Pigs/Gluttony for him

Lauriam was the poster boy for temptation into darkness, which is what Darkness was intended when his sister Strelitzia was killed, for him to be the first to fall to rage and grief, nice Aced parallel as the one everyone suspected of falling to darkness first so he gets Snails/Sloth, fitting for the flower elemental lol

and that leave Skuld and Invi which also makes sense as the parallel for the person who tries to intervene in conflicts and mediate for the group, so Skuld gets Snake/Envy

Neat!

But anyway back to Luxu, I think Luxu is represented by the Goat not just because of the above modern listings, but also because of the special place of evil that Christian religions tend to place on Goat itself

If the Lamb is the most common symbol of Jesus Christ, the Goat has always been a symbol of the Evil of Lucifer. Sheep and Goats, despite being so similar, have always been seen as this symbolic duo. Sheep and Lambs being submissive, complacent, docile, while Goats are crazy, willful, destructive and etc likely because since they are so close in nature, they are basically seen as the Good and Evil version of the same animal, a Goat is essentially a heretical false Lamb

They are very commonly associated with the Devil/Lucifer himself and goats have always gotten the short end of stick, all the way back to the old tradition of using goats as well, scape-goats literally. The practice of singling out a particular creature or person and placing all the sin and blame onto it, and then driving it away

Luxu is singled out from the group, likely given the role of “Traitor” amongst the six of them and then is forced into essentially exile to the future by MoM where he can do nothing but watch and wait, never able to interfere or meddle with anything

And this reasoning of the Goat fits Luxu above all others.

So there we have it, finally at the end:

Ira/Wrath - Unicorn/Unicornis

Avaritia/Greed - Fox/Vulpes

Acedia/Sloth - Bear/Ursus

Invidia/Envy - Snake/Anguis

Gula/Gluttony - Leopard/Leopardus

and if Luxu and MoM had union names, (which seem to be just be taken from the genus of the animal directly) they’d likely be:

Luxuria/Lust - Goat/Caprini

Superbia/Pride - Lion/Panthera

But I think the Most Interesting Thing to glean from all of this, is going back to the 3 Groupings for the 8 evil things, can you imagine if KH ever decides to give MoM a little backstory, and a figure based on the Wolf of Fraud/Corruption, emblem of Despair came into the picture somewhere?

Something that might look a little like this?

Hey that’s interesting, isn’t this the special secret boss Dark Hide from Aqua’s Fragmentary Passage? Y’know, that journey all about Aqua falling into the pits of Despair where she then ends up fighting The First Real Pureblood Heartless she ever faces in the Realm of Darkness? Something that Aqua felt was Willfully and Intentionally Stalking her through the depths, instead of mindlessly attacking her?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQGONhqs0mU

Isn’t that interesting how all of things, they give this boss the opportunity for the player to see through it’s eyes, something very unique, and how it initially appears as a formless Darkness

And isn’t Darkness itself, given a will and a personality, now a figure in KHUX Dark Road, that has specific ties to the MoM, as Luxu describes as being a fellow student and/or old friend of MoM?

Could the Will of Despair manifested from darkness come to be a secret 8th apprentice of MoM?

Who knows, but it’s interesting how that symbolism lines up isn’t it?

#KH #Kingdom Hearts #KHUX #KHUXDR #Darkness

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mirioho · 2 years

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Oh boyy I also love that the Seirin vs Too match brought back the old Aomine it was so nice to see! (Although I headcanon that the deep sadness he felt in middle school has not completely vanished but that's a story for another day)

I'm in love with the Shutoku vs Rakuzan match I must have seen it like 5 times or more, it's such an epic match and the Midorima character development shone through perfectly and was a feast for the eyes, not to mention the Shutoku memories we see!! Also Takao was being the realest around with that line and spoke for everyone xD On the contrary, what's your least favorite match/ character? For me the least fave match is Seirin vs Rakuzan, it was good but at some point it was a bit too stretched to the point where I was like "okay no there's gotta be a limit to this" and the least fave character is Murasakibara :/

Oh I completely agree! I feel like the slump and depression he fell into isn't something he can immediately bounce back from and fully return to his former self like nothing. I think its a process but it definitely started in that match. But same!! It's the match that really solidified that shutoku was my fave team. But fr I was like thank u takao for being real

Oooo interesting choice for your least fave match. I can't say it's my least favorite since it also gave us so many great moments especially when almost all the GOM and the crowd started cheering on Seirin that had me crying so much sfshdjfk BUT I can definitely understand what you mean. Watching knb you just roll along with whatever it throws at you to fully enjoy it and that means suspending your beliefs and not being like "that's unreaslitic". But during the seirin vs rakuzan match I gotta say even I was like are we really going this far?? 🤨 Like we got akashi going in the zone and taking on seirin alone, then ALL of rakuzan going into the zone?! then we got a deeper zone aka Zone 2 for seirin?! and it's like it just kept throwing new power ups at us consecutively. And like I get it Akashi was the "final boss" so to speak so they had to make it epic and exciting but damn it was a lot to take in in one match lmao so I get you

Personally my least fave would be the Yosen vs Seirin match which kind of hurts me to say cause it also had great moments. And it was a match where Kiyoshi shined so much and we got to see Kuroko make baskets for the first time. But even then I felt like it was a match I didn't have much connection to. Even with Kagami and Himuro's rivalry going on. I think a lot of the reason for my personal disconnect was just the fact it was the next GOM match after Seirin had gone against Too. And as we know Seirin vs Too was a masterpiece from the moves introduced to the emotion in it. And idk something felt like it was missing in Yosen vs Seirin. It wasnt a bad match but definitely just my least favorite lol

But least favorite character hmm I'm tempted to say Hanamiya or Haizaki but tbh it's that one player from Kirisaki Daiichi, I never bother to remember his name but it's the one with hair covering his eyes who chews gum. Idk why but he just pisses me off and I wish kagami would've punched him lmao but yeah I don't really have a reason it's just a feeling but I'm curious how come Murasakibara is your least fave?? I feel like it's probably his attitude haha

#jaz talks #asks #anon asks #anon ask #anonymous #just wanna thank u anon for asking me knb questions and letting me express my feels for it lol #knb anon 🏀

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honeyandhondewberries · 4 years

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H,, okay so after reading Dappled Grove and the chapters with Milo, I am, as they say, weak. So may I request some fluff of a flustered Milo working up the courage to give flowers that he grew himself to reader? Bonus points for reader who has never gotten flowers from anyone before and head over heels Milo/adorable flower language stuff. If possible I'd love a gender-neutral/slightly masc leaning reader, but really, just have fun with it - and thank you for doing god's work with this blog 😔🙏

ARG FINALLY A MILO ASK ive been waiting for this ty ty ty. Tbh i just wanna hug Milo all the time

~~ Easy as Pie (MiloxReader)

“Hoo, boy,” Milo mutters as he stares at your front door, bouquet in hand. “What on earth am I doing.”

He rocks back on the heel of his boots, then scuffs it into the dirt path leading up to your porch. He’s been planning this exact moment for months now, ever since he planted these flowers, and yet he can’t seem to get his rubbish feet to move. Although he cut these flowers this morning, he himself is unfortunately rooted in this spot, and has been for about ten minutes.

“Just go up, and knock on the door,” Milo whispers to himself. “Hand off the flowers, say thanks for being great, then head home. Easy as pie.”

Even with that simple five-step plan, if this plan actually was a pie, it would taste like garbage and like the sweat that is beading on his brow. Milo urges his legs to move, his knee twitches, but that’s about it. He exhales in defeat.

What if it’s weird? What if you think he’s strange for coming to visit out of the blue? Not even that, but getting flowers? From him? He knows you know he grows flowers, he runs the best flower shop in Turffield, but this will be the first time he’s deliberately grown and picked and arranged something for you.

Successfully, at least.

Every other attempt has been futile, and this spot on your front pathway is the farthest he’s ever gotten.

“You don’t even have to ask for a date,” Milo whispers to himself, though the word ‘date’ immediately ignites the anxiety in his chest. “Just offer the flowers, nice and platonically.”

He hopes you don’t know much about the language of flowers, because every bit of this bouquet screams ‘definitely not platonic.’ He doesn’t have any more time to build up the courage, because suddenly your front door opens, and out comes you. Milo lets out the breath he was holding, unable to hold back his smile when he sees you.

“Hey Milo,” you say. “You alright?”

“Huh? Oh, me?” Milo repeats dumbly. “Yeah, yeah I’m great.”

“You sure?” you ask. “You’ve been standing there for about ten minutes.”

Milo’s eyes widen. He’s been standing and talking to himself on your front pathway for ten minutes and you knew.

“I, uh,” he stutters. Milo doesn’t lie often, so he doesn’t think of anything particularly clever particularly quickly, but he needs to save face and make this less terrible than it already is. “Flowers grow better if you talk to ‘em.”

You blink, purse your lips, then nod.

“That’s interesting,” you say, and Milo immediately groans.

“I’m sorry, that’s not why. I was trying to build up the courage to come knock.”

You smile again and your eyebrows pull together, such a cute expression for such a cute person, but Milo needs to focus on what you’re saying so he doesn’t risk looking like a fool again.

“Why would that make you nervous?” you ask. “You come over all the time?”

“I know,” Milo says as he scuffs at the ground again. “But I’ve got something for you.”

Your eyes flit to the bouquet in his hands and you raise your eyebrows again. He finally takes the last few steps to meet you on your front porch and he hands you the bouquet.

“These are for me?” you ask.

“I, um, I grew them myself,” Milo admits bashfully. He bites back the disclaimers and rushed rationales he wants to make, and he risks looking foolish when he forces himself to be honest with you. “You’re… you’re a really special person. To me. A-and in general, so I wanted to say thanks.”

You’re blushing just as much as he is, and Milo wonders if you’re feeling that pull in your gut too. You breathe out a smile, one that’s soft and sweet, one that Milo has never seen on you before. He can’t help but smile too because of it.

“I’ve never gotten flowers before,” you say quietly. “This is… this is really nice, thank you Milo.”

“Would you like more?” he quickly asks, and the words are out before he can stop them. You raise your eyebrows, but Milo shuts his trap before anything else embarrassing slips out.

“Oh, I don’t want to burden you with that,” you say breathily, and when your smile grows, so does that pull in Milo’s stomach. “This has really made my day, week, maybe even my month, getting something so sweet from you.”

“It’s no trouble, really,” Milo says, and he waves a hand at you. “Here, I’ll go get some. What’s your favorite flower?”

You answer before you can think, and the second you finish your sentence, Milo turns and marches down your front path with renewed purpose.

“Milo, you really don’t have to!” you call, and he waves a hand at you again.

“No, no it’s nothing, I promise!” he calls in return. “I’ll be back soon!”

And off goes Milo, trying not to sprint back to his flower shop, and you lean against your doorjamb and delicately smell the aroma of the bouquet. The blush on your cheeks is warm, and you hide it by pulling the flowers up to your face. It doesn’t seem Milo will turn around, as he’s strangely determined to get you more flowers. He’s too sweet sometimes.

You gaze at the bouquet again. It is quite beautiful… and quite special. Aren’t flowers supposed to mean something? You wonder if that’s the case, or if Milo was just kindly offering you some leftover stock from his shop. You take a seat on your front steps and pull out your phone to do some research.

Let’s see, you can pick out the daisies at least. Apparently, those mean new beginnings. You’re not really beginning anything new, so your hypothesis of these just being leftover stock solidifies itself in your brain. There are some tulips, too. You type ‘tulip meaning’ into the search engine, and your eyebrows shoot high on your forehead.

True love…?

And hope! Phew, and hope. You read that second meaning and puff out the breath of air you were holding. Hope is good. Hope is great, actually, let’s go with the hope meaning for these tulips.

You’re not sure what the blue ones are, so after a bit of searching, you can pick out that they’re forget-me-nots, and they mean…

True love.

M…Maybe they have a second meaning like the tulips. Your eyes frantically scan your screen and you bite your lip when you find alternate meanings.

Deep compassion.

Okay… that’s…. better. Kind of. You and Milo are friends, pals, chums, and you certainly have some compassion for your chums. Milo has compassion for everything – people, Pokémon, nature, everything, and that’s one of the many qualities of his that you admire. That’s probably all that means, then. You gloss over forget-me-nots third meaning of ‘fidelity.’

And finally, this white speckly stuff. Looks like… garnish? Snowflakes? Ah, baby’s breath, that’s a strange name for a flower.

Unconditional love.

There’s a bit of a theme here, isn’t there.

You frantically search for other possible meanings for baby’s breath flowers, but that’s the only meaning that comes up.

Love.

Your face warms at the thought, at that single word repeating in your head love love love, and as if on cue, Milo is heading back up your front path, another bouquet in hand. You’re suddenly much more aware of his smile and his eyes and his hands and his arms and his chest and everything about him as he steps up to your porch.

“Sorry for the wait,” he says with a kind smile. You nod and your eyes shift to the ground. “I got you a couple more, I hope you don’t mind.”

He hands you a single Lily of the Valley (to put in your window, apparently), a few sunflowers for your kitchen table, and finally twelve red roses. You can barely hold all these flowers, and when you almost drop them, Milo quickly catches them, catches you, and his hands are clasped around yours. Your gazes meet, bashful and searching and a second too long.

“What do red roses mean,” you ask suddenly, and Milo’s eyes widen.

“P-pardon?”

“Flowers have meaning, don’t they?” you ask before you can stop yourself. “Almost all of the ones in your first bouquet meant love. What do red roses mean?”

Milo’s eyes flick around your face, and he desperately tries to gauge your expression. A bit of red tints your cheeks – it’s the perfect color in Milo’s mind – and he breathes out a sigh.

“Love.”

You stare into each other’s eyes for another moment, and another moment more.

“They all mean love,” Milo finishes weakly, and he finally lets go of your hands. “I didn’t mean to be so forward, and I promise I won’t bother you any-”

“Milo,” you interrupt. “This is probably the most subtle thing you could have done. If you wanted to be forward, you’d just straight up kiss me.”

Immediately Milo’s cheeks flare red and he nearly falls off your porch.

“No! Heavens, I-I won’t-“

“I know!” you say as you cut him off again. “I know, you won’t, or I mean… we won’t… u-um…”

You’re both fumbling and awkward and this is not going nearly as smoothly as Milo had hoped, but something in his chest warms when you gently take his hand again.

“But, if you want to get dinner sometime, I think that’d be nice,” you say. “Sort of like a…. date situation, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Milo says, and he nods vigorously. “Yeah, yeah that sounds nice. A date. With me. And you.”

“Yeah,” you repeat, and you’re both flaring as red as these roses. “How about Friday? You can come pick me up?”

Milo nods again, and his smile is spreading too quick to stop. He tries to hide it, but the corners of his mouth continuously perk back up.

“No more flowers though,” you say sternly as you try to adjust the masses in your arms. “I don’t think I have enough vases for any more.”

“I’ll bring you some vases then,” Milo says. “I’ll see you Friday?”

“See you Friday,” you say.

You both share another few-seconds gaze, both break out into embarrassed smiles, and Milo finally heads back down your porch with a renewed spring in his step. What flowers should he bring you next time? What kind of vase would you like? Perhaps he could bake you a pie.

Yep, his five-step plan was just that: easy as pie.

#three cheers for milo #hip hip #milo milo milo #milo #ok 4 cheers #bc he deserves it #fanfiction #fanfic #pokemon imagines #pokemon swsh #pokemon sword and shield #pokemon sword and shield imagines #pokemon swsh imagines #milo x reader #milo x you #reader insert #flowers #honeyandhondewberries

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lululawrence · 3 years

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Annual Writing Self Evaluation

Thank you for the tag @louandhazaf!!! I’m honestly clutching my chest that you tagged me, so thank you xxx especially since i love this little self eval that i think @juliusschmidt came up with all those years ago and we just keep perpetuating it haha

this... is going to get long, though. since it asks me to list my works published this year and that is 24. so. here goes.

1. List of works published this year:

Swerve the Handshake (Nick/Louis)

Need So Much of You (Harry/Louis for @onedirectionbigbang)

You're A (Total) Distraction (girl!direction and hybrid Harry/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Always Keep You Next To Me (Greg/Louis for @wallsficfest)

With Your Hand In Mine (Nick/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Smells Like Omega Spirit (Harry/Louis for @1daboficfest)

If Only We Wish Hard Enough (Harry/Louis for @disneydirectionfest)

Political Pizza (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Talk the Night Through (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Wrinkles (Harry/Louis for @1000feelingsfics)

Would You Be My Girlfriend? (girl!direction Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Lately You've Been On My Mind (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Don't Want It Any Other Way (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

I'm Ready for the Worst (Greg/Louis for @louisandmenfest)

Loving You's the Antidote (Nick/Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Do You Know Who You Are? (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Don't You Call Him (What You Used To Call Me) (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Gone Too Long (From You) (Harry/Louis co-written with @fallinglikethis for @finelineficfest)

Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

The Way You Bend the Rules (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

And Then I Saw His Face (Harry/Louis for @1dtrickortreatfest)

I'mma Give You A Promotion (Nick/Louis)

What You Waiting For? (Nick/Harry for @1000feelingsfics)

(I'm Dreaming of a) One Night Inn (Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam, Niall/Shawn)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

every time i think about this question i’ve got a different answer, to be honest. i do think my I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy series is probably what i’m most proud of, though. as soon as i knew @runaway-train-works was going to be hosting the heartbreak weather fic fest, i knew i wanted to write dear patience, but as the idea grew and grew and more ideas solidified and i realized what the story was turning into, i realized it was so much more than i originally thought and i needed a second song to help me fully get a solid grasp on it. in the end, it was a hard duo of fics to write, mainly because i honestly don’t know much of anything about golf, i was still trying to create fully the way soulmates worked in the world, and there’s just not all that much about rory online to find, so i was winging it haha but i’m so incredibly happy with the world i made and the fics i wrote, even if i don’t know that they’ll ever get to like 200 hits or whatever hahaha i love them.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

uhhhhh you know looking at this list of fics i have, i’m actually proud of every single one for some reason and i don’t know if there’s any of them that i’d even label as “least proud”.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i hate this question and forget that it is on this list every year lollll let me see if i can find something i really like. okay i found one, it’s from my long grouis haha and i’m apologizing now for it being so long. you can skip ahead to the next question if you like, but i’m just incredibly proud of the banter and the way i wrote this section, PLUS those damn joggers actually happened because he posted a photo of himself wearing them in the shops on instagram and that inspired this entire thing so. enjoy. (i’ve italicized it and indented it to hopefully make it easier to skip it’s so long i’m so sorry)

“It’s safe for you to come back in here,” Louis called out as he closed his computer.

“Thank goodness, I was getting so exhausted of hiding in your bedroom and snooping through all your shit,” Greg said as he walked out wearing a sheet mask and a pair of grey joggers that did nothing to hide what he was packing.

Louis smirked and wanted to say something, but Greg kept going.

“Did you know you have like five different deodorants in there?”

Louis threw his arm on the back of his couch and nodded.

“Why?” Greg asked, throwing himself down onto the couch and placing his stupidly long legs on top of Louis’. “Who legitimately needs five different deodorants? Do they have different uses or something? Some were even women’s deodorants, so I wasn’t sure if they were your sisters’ or what. Oh, and I helped myself to one of your fancy toners. It had rosewater in it or something.”

“Well, for the deodorants I just like trying different scents and I switch them up based on my mood. And actually, the one I use most often is a women’s deodorant. It works great. Plus I smell fresh and clean like baby powder all day.” Louis shrugged. “And that wasn’t my toner. Dunno who left it. Just showed up one day and no one says it’s theirs, so I kept it. It’s quite nice, isn’t it? Lotts said it’s supposed to help even out the PH balance of my skin or some shit, but I’ll be fucked if I know what that actually means.”

“Oh, that does sound fancy,” Greg agreed, checking the time on his phone. “I’ve got five more minutes on this mask, don’t let me forget. Don’t want to leave it on so long it burns my skin off or summat.”

“Sure,” Louis said, laughing. “So are you actually wearing anything under these or are you just that excited to see me?”

“Eh?” Greg asked before looking down at his crotch. Of course, now he was sitting down it didn’t show anything. “What are you on about?”

“Stand back up and look in a mirror, mate,” Louis said, laughing. “You’re dick was trying to tell me hello a minute ago.”

“I didn’t tell it to do that,” Greg muttered as he shifted so he could stand back up again. He walked into Louis’ bedroom, and Louis could hear when he’d seen himself. “Oh my God, that’s obscene! Does it always look like that when I wear these?”

Louis laughed and walked into his bedroom to see Greg’s eyes wide as he shifted himself around and walked a bit, appalled that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to make it any less there.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen you in those. You usually nick a pair of mine,” Louis reminded him. “Do you wear them without pants often?”

“I never wear pants with these,” Greg said, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck, I’ve likely given that nan that lives below me too many looks at my cock without even realising it. They’re my softest, most favorite pair of joggers! I wear them to the shops when I’m too knackered to get fully dressed!”

As Greg continued to narrate the various escapades he’d had over the years in the joggers without even realising what he’d been doing, Louis settled onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still watch Greg as he motioned about in distress.

When it was clear Greg wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Louis pulled out his phone and started filming. There was no one he could share this with, but it would be good for a laugh later on.

“Fuck, and you didn’t remind me to take off my mask!” Greg cried, rushing back into the bathroom to remove the sheet mask and do whatever else he had to do when he used them.

Greg was proper obsessed with them, said they were relaxing and kept his skin soft. Louis just liked knowing they were one of Greg’s things, like taking regular baths with a bottle of wine and perusing various adoption websites for dogs he could possibly give a good home to.

“Sorry, love,” Louis said, as Greg walked back out of the bathroom. He really was sorry, but he also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to keep taking the piss. Greg was too much fun to rile up. “Was distracted by your big dick flopping about whilst you remembered all the good times you’d had in the joggers.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i’ve had a few this year that told me they don’t usually read that pairing or they don’t usually comment on fics, but for various reasons they gave the pairing a try or wanted to comment because of something specific and those were particularly lovely. that said, every comment is so so great, they really do boost me up to see them and i need to do better with getting my anxiety in hand and responding to them regularly.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

this entire damn year, man. all of the time i’d carefully carved out for myself over the past few years to write was basically blown to shit with the pandemic, which also was so exhausting it didn’t leave me with much energy to write. but i still somehow posted 24 fics?? i dunno, dude. i think writing saved me and gave me something to look forward to, tbh.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

most of my advent fic, tbh lollll a lot that was in there wasn’t really brainstormed ahead of time, it just happened, and i forgot some of the details even because i just flat out didn’t remember what i’d put in there, so i’m STILL surprised haha i love when fics happen like that

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i always think of challenges as fun and then i look back and wonder if i was insane because i thought it would be fun to try something new but it was mostly really fucking hard haha i wrote a lot of pairings and combinations of tropes this year that i never have before as well as stretching myself with writing emotions and situations i never have before, so i’m quite proud of myself for continuing to push the envelope and try new things like that.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i mostly hope that i’ll be able to carve more time out for myself as things HOPEFULLY settle down a bit more. i might not be as impulsive when it comes to choosing things to write at that point, but we’ll see. lol

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i... hmm. there’s a lot of people i’m thinking of right now, but it’s hard to choose just one. i think actually there were two and they were @louandhazaf and @disgruntledkittenface. i very much admire both of them for their own writing and works, but i am particularly inspired by how many pairings they write and the variety of fics they have posted. it’s definitely because of them that i’ve tried writing a lot of the pairings that i have, and that’s before you even start to look at the help they’ve given me with betaing certain fics (usually rare pairs lollll). they’re just both so supportive and open to so many things, and i am so much more open to all sorts of things because of them. i CANNOT answer this without mentioning the Write Your Way Out GC either, though. Y’all are my crew in SO many ways and you let me rely on you in every way through this past year. it really does take a village, doesn’t it?

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

lmao i’m sure. but all i’m thinking of at the moment are the tumblr posts and canon compliant shit i based the fics on, so nothing off the top of my head apparently haha

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

hell if i know. maybe just... write for yourself. i think that’s why i’m so proud of every fic i wrote this year. i really was writing for me and if others like it too? bonus.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

my big bang!!! that’s the big one. i’m so excited for it. i have a whole list of other fics, too, though. hahaha i’m also super SUPER excited for both of my omega harry fics to post hehe

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@becomeawendybird @sadaveniren @londonfoginacup

*All answers should be about works published in 2020. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want.

#mine #2020 writing meme #self eval #writing self eval #writing stuff

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ais-for-alex · 3 years

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The Scars of Our Past: Chapter 17

Did I forget to post this chapter here? Yes. Have I completely forgot which chapters have and haven’t been posted here? Also yes. Sorry I’m not super consistent on the posting here on tumblr tbh I just find it a bit obnoxious to format here so I procrastinate then forget all together. At one point in the future I’ll go through and make sure each chapter is posted and set up a mast list of each but for now it’s probably easiest to read over on ao3. Anyway! Chapter 17! Hope y’all enjoy 🥰 as always these characters belong to @lumosinlove

By the time he made it back to his motel Leo had opened and closed his messenger app at least twenty times. He opened it, typed out a message to Logan but then chickened out and deleted it. There were things that needed to be said after he and Logan had toed the point of no return together. They needed to talk, needed to stabilize the ground beneath their feet before they fell into a sinkhole of regret, but it seemed like Logan didn’t want to talk.

OLeo jiggled the key in the old frozen lock on his door until it relented opening with a click, once inside he leaned against the closed door and opened his messenger one more time.

(You): Look I know things are probably weird now, I’m so sorry I never meant for that to happen. Please know that I still want to be your friend, I know we haven’t known each other that long but Logan, you’ve become so important to me. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore but please, but if you do, text me or call hell I’d settle for carrier pigeon if that’s what you want. If you don’t want to talk to me though I’ll respect that decision.

Leo pressed send before he could chicken out again and quickly put his phone on Do Not Disturb too nervous to see what or even if Logan would respond. He shuffled forward into the dark room flicking on the light switch as he passed, the fluorescent bulb flickered and buzzed, illuminating the room in a shuddering light that made Leo’s eyes hurt. The dingy wallpaper was stained yellow from the nicotine of who knows how many occupants cigarette smoke, Leo sighed again and laid back on his bed, his eyes staring at the popcorn ceiling.

See this is why you don’t get attached. This is why you weren’t supposed to let anyone else get close, because the moment you do you’re destined to lose them again.

Leo hated this place. He hated that stupid popcorn ceiling he stared at every night, he hated the yellowing walls, and the flickering lights. He hated that no matter how high he turned up the heater, his room was rarely warmer than the air outside.

He hated it. And he hated this feeling inside him. It was like ever since that night so long ago, his insides had turned into a toxic sludge that ruined everything it touched. He hated the fact that despite how much he knew he shouldn’t have let them, Finn and Logan had begun to mean so very much to him. And he was terrified that the black murky sludge inside him was going to reach up and poison the roots of them that had started growing in his heart when all he wanted was to nurture them and watch those roots take hold until his chest burst open with blooming peonies. Leo wasn’t sure if his heart could take it if instead; the roots were to simply rot away, leaving in their wake nothing but dry brittle stems ready to blow away in the wind.

Give it a chance. Baby, let yourself heal.

The only way to make the hurt a little less, is to start moving on.

Leo closed his eyes against the flickering light above him and breathed in deep then out slow and even.

It was time.

Before he could think himself out of the decision Leo pulled his phone from his pocket and opened the contacts. It didn’t escape his notice that Logan hadn’t responded to his message, but he didn’t let that stop him. He scrolled down and chuckled at the silly name now set as Finn’s contact and clicked the call button.

The phone rang and rang and then words were filling his ear before Leo even realized Finn had picked up the call.

“Hey you, I really hope you called to apologize for not reacting to the video I sent you earlier because honestly three whole minutes of watching cats being scared deserved a reaction.” Finn’s voice was warm and teasing and made Leo smile softly.

“Sorry, I hadn’t checked the group chat yet I was… in the middle of something. But now I know I have something to look forward to,” Leo replied.

“Hmm,”’ Finn hummed low like he was contemplating something but the sound pressed directly to Leo’s ear made him shiver; It felt like he was right there behind him whispering to him. “Well, I suppose I can overlook it this once. But I’m warning you I’m needy and crave validation so this is your one freebie.”

Leo chuckled at that, “Don’t worry I’ll laugh at all of your memes.”

“That makes me happy,” Finn said softly and Leo could almost hear the little smile in his voice, “so what can I do for you Leo? Since you haven’t watched the video yet and I can’t imagine you called just to listen to my dulcet voice, I assume you had something on your mind.”

“Maybe I like listening to your voice,” Leo replied before he could stop himself.

“Yeah?’ Finn asked, his voice almost breathless.

“Mmm, but you’re right I did have a reason I called.”

“Alright, shoot.”

Leo shifted on his bed, eyes roving over the dingy motel room once more solidifying his decision, “Is that offer still open? To live with you?”

There was the sound of rustling on the other end like Finn had sat up in bed to take in Leo’s question.

“I’ll pay you rent of course,” he heard a breath on the other end, Finn about to protest but Leo continued before he got the chance, “there is no way I’m not going to so don’t even try to talk me out of that.”

“Fine,” Finn conceded, “I won’t fight you on that. Honestly, I’m just really happy you decided to do it, I hate thinking of you living in that motel. I can’t imagine it’s a good place to be.”

Leo huffed a slight laugh, “you have no idea.”

“Alright then, when do you want to move in? I’ll have a new key cut for you, and I can come pick you and your stuff up from the motel if you want?”

“That would be great Fish, do you think Sunday would work?”

“Sunday is perfect.”

“Alrighty, well I guess that's it then,” Leo said softly, not entirely sure what else to say.

“I guess it is,” Finn's voice was low in his ear.

“Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight Leo,” Leo ended the call wishing he could hear his name whispered into his ear by Finn's lips every single day.

He let his phone fall out of his hand onto the bed and sighed, and when he breathed in again for the first time in years there was a lightness in his chest that nearly made him sob in relief.

This was good. This was a step forward.

Read on ao3

Chapter 18

#sweater weather #coast to coast #leo knut #logan tremblay #lumosinlove #o'knutzy #finn o’hara #writing #the scars of our past

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