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dead-loch · 9 months

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Chapter 4 of Missing Time is up.

I got back into the groove of things with this chapter, I think. There is one important warning for this chapter (which is noted) and I've expanded on it a little below the cut (read the chapter first pls)

First of all to anyone who experiences traumatic flashbacks during intimate moments, incl. sex, I'm sorry.

I've actually never seen this explored much in fic (not in my lil corner of fandoms anyway) and considering I can, unfortunately, get flashbacks just from reading or seeing something (so, even when the thing isn't happening to me), it's something that I've wanted to explore because it's a real thing that happens and can Fuck With Your Head. And writing is cathartic!

So, I'm definitely weaving lots of my own experiences into Eddie, mainly in terms of how she deals with the fallout of having been in a relationship (of sorts) with Ray.

From him lying to Eddie to manipulate her into opening up about something (Lou/Bushy), to trying to gaslight her when she's rightfully pissed off at him, to him once again bringing up a fresh trauma so that he can throw her off and attack her, and like his entire demeanour changing when he gets upset (idc what anyone says, you could see the kind of person he would be in a relationship and it is SCARY), these things would wreck havoc on you after the fact. Like yeah, obviously it sucked in the moment, but considering he wasn't outright violent with her and didn't let his true colours really show through until the end, and considering he literally has the capacity and propensity for murder, it's easy in the moment and immediate aftermath to say, "I'm okay because I didn't suffer as much as ___".

However, when things have settled, these are also things that are going to hit you pretty hard. It could make you seriously doubt your ability to read people, would create and/or exacerbate trust issues, and knowing that you've been intimate with someone who is capable of harming others is, frankly, fucking terrifying.

With that out of the way, I also wanted to touch base a little on why I am playing out a (sexual/potentially romantic) relationship between Cath & Eddie moving faster than a relationship between Dulcie & Eddie.

Eddie has spent the ENTIRE season trying to convince herself and others that she isn't attracted to Dulcie (whether that's true or not). It's easier for Eddie, now the dust has somewhat settled, to have this relatively safe crush on Cath, especially given that Dulcie has not and will not react in jealousy to the little moments between them. As children (and adults tbh) we often develop crushes on people we have zero chance with, these end up being safe ways we can begin to explore our sexuality.

In this fic, although Eddie has "experimented" (which is canon), it was over 20 years ago, and never developed further than kissing before she was thrown into a world of toxic masculinity (and I'm going to assume it came with the usual misogyny, cis- and heteronormativity, racism, etc) and immediately decided that being the woman of colour on the force was preferable to being the queer woman of colour on the force. I do want to clarify that this wasn't a decision she just made one day. As with most things, it's something that developed over time until it became the new normal.

So, Eddie is realising that she may be developing a (sexual) attraction to Cath earlier than she's realising she may be attracted to Dulcie, too (even though there have been little moments between Eddie/Dulcie already). Cath feels like a safer crush because Eddie doesn't think that Cath would ever cheat on Dulcie.

Finally, shoutout to anyone who has to withdraw completely from human interaction every once in a while. This is something I've come to accept about myself, but it was a long time coming. As a child, whenever we had family anything (dinner, reunion, holiday, etc), I was the one who would disappear off to the basement, or outside, or even in a fking washroom, just to get some peace and quiet because socialising drains me so completely.

It's not exactly the same here in Eddie's case- she spends two days avoiding people because she's trying to sort out her thoughts and doesn't fully understand what she's feeling. But the end result is the same: she didn't want to be away from anyone in particular; she just needed some space for herself.

Bonus: the discussion at the end of the chapter isn't the one I was going to write initially, but Eddie is stubborn and it didn't feel natural for her to confess to any kind of feelings at this stage.

PS: in case this is bothering some people, Dulcie was NOT creeping around Eddie's bedroom. She honestly was just going upstairs lmao

PPS: if you don't think Eddie's capable of giggling (as she does several times when she's drunk in this chap), I urge you to watch Madeleine Sami on Taskmaster NZ.

#deadloch #fanfic #eddie redcliffe #writing #cw sa mention #cw ptsd #trauma #flashbacks

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.).

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.)

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy.

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

#cockles #cockles ask #liz answers #i really just. spend hours. writing about misha and his boyfriend.#why. why do i. do that #long post for ts

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself. except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it. he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that. so happy ❤️

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story. Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes? Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him. Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard. ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’). But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’ a source close to the couple reported.

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right. To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar.

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.

Is this the best she thinks she can do? So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer.

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate. From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship. Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson?? I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea. “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious. “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second. He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment. “I haven’t talked to him in… years? I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it. And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other. But he has his own problems. I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl. You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him. “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first. Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name. And I’m not perfect. Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly. “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries. When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away. “Don’t read the comments, okay? None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well. In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously? I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words. “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing. I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured. “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it? Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted. "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head. In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized. What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker. “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway. BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door. Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face. “Are you—?’

“Hungry? Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk. “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified. “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you! Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl. “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space. “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked. “And not just with random delivery drivers. I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!” You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained. “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen? By people?”

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes. “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened. “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked. “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning. “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed. “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off. “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought. “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do. I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled. “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky. “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table. “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already. I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb. I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you. I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek. “I think so, too.”

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress. “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant? You’re still paying me,” he reminded you. “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff. You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided. “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard? Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever. As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress. Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet. It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

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imo-chan-imagines · 4 years

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『 As your boyfriend | FKBU Headcanons 』

Characters: female!reader, Kambe Daisuke, Kato Haru

Tags/warnings: Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited (anime), 18+, strong sexual references, fluff, angst, Haru's PTSD, headcanons, daddy kink and cockwarming (kind of?) for Daisuke, breeding kink for Haru *coughing intensifies*

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Felt like writing some more for these boys because ~holy shit~ do I love them, and I maybe went a teensy bit overboard. Oopsie! 🤭 But anyway, have y'all seen episode 6?! Let's freaking gooo! (No spoilers, don't worry) Thanks for reading! Enjoy! Imo~

Kambe Daisuke

First up: daddy kink. I know it, you know it, we all know it. So let's not beat about the bush

Quite dominant and firm with you (see: daddy kink)

But he absolutely loves spoiling you

Expensive gifts, like one-of-a-kind necklaces, seductive perfumes, satin dresses, lace underwear, etc.

He loves dressing you up and showing you off

But he also loves spoiling you in bed more like ruining, I am deceased

A lot of butt grabbing in public hnng

He likes it when you don't wear any underwear because it makes for easier quickies like bent over the sink in the bathroom at his favourite club

He likes you sitting on his lap in front of people, too aye papi

American gangster vibes, honestly

He's not really one for soppy, romantic PDA, but he loves you letting people know that it's him you want and nobody else

He loves the look on people's faces when you call him 'daddy' that grin will be the death of me

Especially the look on Haru's face, lmao. He blushed like a tomato and couldn't speak a coherent sentence for a whole hour

Hickeys. Lots and lots of hickeys. And don't even think about covering them up

Daisuke loves sleeping naked and has a habit of walking around the house in just a towel when he gets out the shower fight me

He's also completely oblivious to what it does to you

A MASSIVE bed with super soft, satiny sheets. They feel like clouds uwu

He gets HEUSC to remind him of important dates, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Date Ideas: Unlimited sorry, not sorry

From fancy restaurants, to exclusive movie premieres, to late night helicopter rides to the other side of the country, Daisuke can and will pay for anything if it makes you happy

He also lets you introduce him to lots of new things, like trying different kinds of street food on dates, going rowing on the pond in the park, having a go at karaoke, renting bikes and cycling round the city, going hiking at the nearest nature reserve or wilderness, etc. adorable

He's like a curious kitten when he's trying new things, putting a lot of trust in you to guide him through it

He always looks perfect in the photos you snap, even the ones he wasn't aware you were taking, and it's a lowkey frustrating that he nearly always looks prettier than you

But it's not his fault, so you'll only pout for a little while

His face is pretty hard to read most of the time, but you eventually get used to it and pick up on all his little mood indicators

His ears move when he's happy, and you can't convince me otherwise

He'll hold your heels for you when your feet hurt on a night out

He smells of leather and sandalwood, and his kisses taste of expensive whisky and cigars

He loves it when you bite his lower lip while making out

He's kind of possessive, but in a protective way

He never thought of himself as a particularly jealous person, until one night he came back to the bar and saw some other guy hitting on you the attention was definitely unwanted on your side

It made his blood boil – clenched fists, piercing glare if looks could kill

But he managed to stay calm and maturely tell the guy to get lost, with his arm snaking round your waist

Daisuke made it very clear that it wasn't you he didn't trust. It was that he didn't trust that guy – or any guy, for that matter

His favourite ~position~ is on a table or other surface with your legs over his shoulders

He's a god at eating you out

He's a god at everything in the bedroom, tbh

Saint Laurent condoms, because he's that fucking extra I'm screaming

His hair always falls out of place when you're fucking it's so hot and cute, wtf

It's a lot of glitz and glamour on the surface, but when it's just the two of you, you know just how much you mean to him

The King of Aftercare™

He used to suck at aftercare until he properly tried it. Then he realised that he needed it as much as you did le cry

Back rubs, forehead kisses, playing with your hair, soft whispers in your ear

He holds you so tightly that it gets hard to breathe, and you can feel his heart beating hard against your back

Sometimes he likes to just stay inside you after finishing

He enjoys the feeling of you around him, and honestly, you like just feeling him being inside you cockwarming, kind of?

Soft little nuzzles with his nose in his sleep even better when he's fallen asleep while still inside you

He's not perfect, but being with you makes him try to be better

Help, my heart's so full 🤧

Kato Haru

This man is a sweetie pie, honestly

Not just boyfriend material, but husband material put a ring on it, hun

Lots of home cooking, and it all tastes so good you honestly believe he could just quit being a cop and open up a restaurant

He loves cooking with you, too. It's fun bonding time

Sometimes he stands behind you and guides your hands etc. it sometimes goes a little further, if ya know what I'm saying 👀

Knows how to do all the chores and housework, and actually does his share look at my practical hubby

Random pillow fights that turn into cuddle sessions

He talks in his sleep waaahh, so cute

Sometimes it's utter nonsense, like 'Don't let the donuts escape'

Other times, it's things like, 'I love Y/N so much,' or 'Let's have babies,' while he's holding onto you, and you just melt

Spooning. So much spooning

Lots of budget date ideas, like building pillow forts, watching sunsets and stargazing from the balcony, going for hikes and runs together, going for picnics, feeding ducks at the pond, etc.

One time, a duck chased him around the pond because he had the bread, and he had to run for 20 minutes before it gave up thank God for all that cardio

The Master of Flat Pack Furniture™ – because he takes his time and actually reads the instructions

Daisuke had a ™ so Haru needed one too

Takes good care of you on your period and actually knows about different sanitary products

He smells really fresh and clean, like Imperial Leather soap and air-dried laundry as long as he hasn't been on a stakeout, lmao

He loves taking showers with you, but like, actual showers

The first and only time you had shower sex was hot and steamy until:

1. You realised that water does not a good lube make and 2. He slipped and accidentally shoved his dick in your ass instead

You fully passed out, and he was so frantic that he bundled you into the car and drove you straight to the ER you were in just a towel, might I add

You both look back on it now and laugh, but he was genuinely scared

Shower sex = never again

But he loves it when you straddle his lap and start grinding on him bonus points if you kiss his neck and run your hands through his hair

He's a pretty vanilla boy when it comes to sex, preferring positions like missionary and cowgirl, and liking a fairly even balance of power

He got super embarrassed and flustered when he finally mustered up the courage to suggest having car sex

And then even more embarrassed and flustered when you actually ended up doing it

He was blushing so hard the entire time and came really quickly, which only added to his embarrassment but you thought it was cute

He has really sensitive nipples which you use to your advantage

He absolutely loves hates it when you send him nudes or try and sext him while he's at work, because he gets a massive boner and will either have to live with it and probably get laughed at by those goobs in the office, or deal with it in the bathroom, which feels wrong to him on so many levels

Doesn't really stop you sending them though, because whenever you do, he comes home and fucks you really well

One thing that's not vanilla about him is how much he likes cumming inside you breeding kink, welcome to the party. Please take a seat

He didn't tell you about it for the longest time because he was embarrassed about it and was afraid you'd think it was gross or something please cum in me, sir

He was so relieved when you were understanding about it and open to the idea of indulging him

But he genuinely really wants kids some day he'd be a great dad

His PTSD doesn't stop him being a good boyfriend, but he's convinced that it does

Most days he seems okay, like he's over it, even

But sometimes you'll wake up in the middle of the night and find him curled up in the bath, shaking and crying into his knees my poor baby, I can't

Excuse me while I go and cry into my pillow for a while

You're his safety net

When he feels like he's drowning, you keep his head above the water until the waves eventually calm and recede, and he can breathe again

He hates putting so much on your shoulders

But you swear to him that you wouldn't want to be doing anything else, and that you're not going anywhere

This got so angsty, my heart can't take this 😭

#imo chan imagines #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fkbu #the millionaire detective balance: unlimited #fkbu headcanons #fkbu x reader #kambe daisuke #kato haru #kambe daisuke x reader #kato haru x reader #fkbu smut #fkbu fluff #fkbu angst #i love them so much #one does not simply choose between daisuke and haru #both? both is good

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gerrydelano · 3 years

Note

love your blog. any thoughts on jongerrytim? i can't find any content for it and i'm craving validation

hope you have a good day!

oh anon i was gonna BUILD that city. it was originally going to be the ship i went with for PBR before i realized that jon didn’t fit into it as easily as i wanted because their narratives in that particular story went in different directions (and i’d rather respect a character’s entire arc than shoehorn a ship just because i like the basic idea of it, yfm?) but this is actually exactly what i alluded to in the last four chapters of TSP! so if you’re actually willing to read 147k words of jon and gerry recovery nonsense, you would be rewarded with some Them. <3. ramble time!

i also honestly have some new feelings on jon & gerry as a romantic pairing after having explored it in TSP? TSP wasn’t even initially meant to end in romance, tbh. i think it’s a dynamic that mostly only works in certain situations/like all relationships, it isn’t a one size fits all type of deal. it can be a bit parasocial and feels like they wouldn’t actually pick each other out without some Backstory there, which IS very reminiscent of canon in general? we wanna think they’d work out because they have similar a sense of humor and get along well in mag 111, but when i think about the long run, i imagine them as the type of people who could give it a shot but ultimately not work out because they’re just not vibing. and that’s okay! it happens! they’re REALLY great friend material, always.

(and this part is JUST personal to my HC but i think gerry has a Type™ and i do not really think jon fits into it. similarly, jon’s type strikes as Big Handsome [see: georgie, martin, tim] and gerry is. Slim Pretty. yknow? so, i struggle to imagine them as even being all that attracted to each other! and that IS a part of things. i have other thoughts but i’ll stop here.)

i’m a lot more convinced that both of them would each have a stronger dynamic with tim, which is also a valid take on polyamory in the sense that not all partners involved have to be partnered with each other. if you take it that way, it could potentially be stronger in general! a polyamorous dynamic isn’t just “this pairing but with someone tacked on” — it’s a totally different relationship altogether, and so could for sure end up different than just J&G as a pair.

so basically, i’m here for it! tim is kind of the connecting element there, though, for me. i’m honestly the same way with JM like. i love canon and what canon did with it, but in terms of fanwork, i honestly prefer jonmartim a lot of the time because it spices things up and gives you more room to build something different. stuff that’s already got most of its questions answered in canon or that everyone and their dog has explored just about every nook and cranny of in fan content doesn’t always interest me as much because it feels like there’s nothing left for me to build from the ground up. i like! puzzles! too much!

which is why i like rarepairs so much, and usually ones with tim in them. my absolute FAVORITE gerry/tim/someone ot3 will be revealed in PBR later 💪😤 because where else can i be self indulgent. make the content you want to see.

long story short, you are completely valid! i’ve spent ample time thinking about JGT and i support you fully. i wish there were more fic out there for you to read with them, the only one i’ve seen was a long time ago and i’m pretty iffy on some of the concepts used :-/

so tbh? i encourage you to make some content for them, too! Be Your Own Hero! Make The Content You Want To See! i would love to see it. send it my way if you ever do!

#jgt #ronologues #a v short one but yknow #anon #asks

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voidstilesplease · 3 years

Text

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much.

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up.

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ¹

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?!

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo?

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

#📖: city of fallen angels #current read #anti clace #anti clary fray #anti jace wayland #city of fallen angels #mid-read rant #I'm just so triggered #books #bookish #bookblr #book quotes #book lines #shadowhunters #late to the party woes #cassandra clare #what are you doing with these characters #did you forget this wasn't a twilight fanfiction or something

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buttered-ghost-toast · 4 years

Note

Listen, if you don't fill out all of those numbers and tell me everything about your MC I'm going to feel robbed

Oh geez, fam! ...aight. That took me a minute. But below you will find out more about my girl, Niri!

1. What is their favourite food?—

Cheeseburgers and carrots.

2. Do they have a fear of an animal? If so, what animal? –

Not a fan of snakes, lizards, frogs, sharks.

3. What do they wear to bed? –

Shorts and a t-shirt. Sometimes nothing at all!! That had to stop when she moved into the HoL though. Brothers poppin’ in at all hours gettin’ an eyeful. Lucifer was upset.

4. Do they like cuddling?—

1000000000%. Niri’s a big ol’ cuddle bug. Asmo’s all about it. So is Beel.

5. Do they have a secret handshake with anyone? -- With Astaroth. It’s quite elaborate and they only ever do it when they decide to get up to trouble.

6. What do they look like? –

She cute if I may say so myselffff (don’t judge me, she’s a self insert hah!) Mid to slightly above average height for a human female, fairly toned. Brown eyes, mid-back length hair that’s brown at the root, fades to a teal and purple under layers. Sometimes her hair will fade to a light yellowy-green. She has the hookup for dye from Barbatos who likes to procure things for her from the human realm. She also has quite a few tattoos.

7. Do they like chocolate? –

Only dark. She’s allergic to additives in certain milk chocolates so she doesn’t eat it much.

8. What are their good and bad traits?

Good: Helpful, kind, encouraging, quite a hard worker in any task given her.

Bad: Easily swept up into trouble by others, will prioritize naps over other stuff sometimes, awfully flirtatious which gets her in hot water with Lucifer because apparently lesser demons keep poppin’ by the house with gifts also HUMAN, DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO LORD DIAVOLO?! Oopsssssss~ Also, you know how Luci’s always doing the “MAAAAMMMOOOONNNNN…”…yeah, that’s almost always followed by “NIIIIIRIIIIIIIIII….”

9. Do they have any artistic talent?

Yes. She’s a musician so there’s that…and she likes to paint.

10. What is their favourite room to be in, in the house they live in?

She likes the music room since the boys tend to spend quite a bit of time in there together, but she’s usually found in the kitchen making loads of food and baked goods…also, that’s where you’re more likely to find Beel, and she reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally likes Beel.

11. Do they believe in luck?

To an extent. She believes that luck exists, but she thinks relying on it is a bit naïve.

12. Can they do magic?

Like pull a rabbit out of a hat type thing? Yes. She picked up a few little tricks here and there from a friend who loves show magic. Def not the real stuff though.

13. Do they believe in dragons?

She didn’t until she went to the Devildom. Not that they just have dragons hangin’ out all willy-nilly, but she’s heard stories from the brothers and others about dragons.

14. What is a pet peeve of theirs?

Rudeness and liars who don’t give up even after they’ve been caught in the lie. Also people who demand things of others as if they’re property and not living beings with feelings …this isn’t about Belphegor at all. Nope. She doesn’t have issues with him still.

15. What was the last thing they cried about?

She was able to talk to all her bandmates at once for her weekly call home. They all just really miss each other, ok? It sucks that she has to lie to them about where she is because she knows they’re worried about her, but it was just nice to hear their voices.

16. What is their sexuality?

Pan.

17. Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?

We’ll narrow this down to the Devildom. Niri gets along with everyone and literally loves all the beings she’s met and knows she could count on them for most anything, but there’s definitely a more solid feeling to her connection with Beelzebub. They sort of just get to be vulnerable and entirely open with one another and there is never judgement or ill will, even when Beel eats her secret snack stash…again.

She’s kind of getting to that point with Astaroth as well, but she can sense he’s still a little guarded in certain aspects, and she’s not going to push.

18. Have they ever been in a romantic relationship?

Yes, quite a few. It’s not her favorite thing to talk about since she’s been quite unlucky in that aspect, but hey, the past is the past.

19. What does their relationship with their family look like? Are they close? Distant? Ect.

Her actual family family (with the exception of her brother) are not close in the least. They’re sort of barely on speaking terms. Her chosen family (comprised of her band and some of the closest staff) is extremely close.

20. Do they have a pet?

No. She loves animals and had a dog up until recently, but they passed. It’s okay though, they had a good long life and it wasn’t painful for them when it happened.

21. Do they have a familiar?

Nope. Non-magical.

22. Are they a supernatural being?

Nope! “Boring” human, but she does seem to always find herself in weird situations that are sorta paranormal.

23. How do they usually wear their hair?

It really just depends on the day. If she had time to work on it, it’s down and straight. If it’s a rush in the morning (read: fight for the bathroom because Beel won’t MOVE) she’ll toss it in a bun or ponytail depending on how hot it is outside. There are the odd days when she’ll just let it vibe in its natural wavy/curly state, but she kind of got fed up with the brothers calling her a sheep because it’s so fluffy.

24. Can they play an instrument? If so, what instrument and what can they play?

Yes! She learned guitar and bass at a young age and was tinkering with drums before she was whisked away to the Devildom.

25. What type a high schooler are/were they?

She was the quiet weird kid that didn’t quite fit in with the weird weird crowd, but also wasn’t popular. Plenty of people knew her or of her, but she mainly stuck with her group of friends and was nice to everyone.

26. Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won?

Yes. Just small bits of violence. No one of import, tbh. But there was that one time they all went out to party at the fall and Mammon and Levi started teasing her and in her drunken state, Niri went to punch Mammon who managed to duck so she hit Levi square in the nose. He was fiiiiiiine.

27. What is their favourite holiday?

Halloween because it’s fun, Christmas because of the togetherness, and EASTER BECAUSE MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!

28. If they could have one wish, what would they wish for?

A pass to go from the Devildom to the Human realm and back whenever she wants forever.

29. Do they wants kids? If they already have kids, do they want more?

No. Never.

30. Do they have a job?

Yes? Being a singer in a band is a job, right? It doesn’t always feel like a job because it’s awesome, but it’s a job.

31. Do they know how to drive?

Yes. She has convinced Mammon to let her drive his car on a few occasions and every time they get back he swears NEVER AGAIN. She a little speed demon.

32. Do they get stressed out easily?

Funny story, actually…YES. But she is pretty good at not letting it show. So on the outside she’s like la-la-la~ but inside it’s all AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

33. Did they ever dye their hair before? If so, to what colour? Did they like it?

Absolutely lol. Niri has gone through a few colors in her life, but her favorite is and always will be the teal. (Fun fact: the purple came from a happy accident a few years back when she dyed over a pink shade and a layer turned out purple. She liked it so now she does it that way on purpose.)

34. Have they ever broken the law?

Never anything egregious, but she’s gotten tickets for stuff in the human world. Disturbing the peace, speeding, she was fined once (along with her bandmates) for a surprise free show they did in front of a train station which got a lot more attention than they were expecting and wound up shutting down a couple city blocks. Oooooooooopsss~

35. Do they own a plant?

She’s really bad with plants. REALLY bad. She was gifted a plant by Simeon a couple weeks into the exchange program and it took an embarrassingly long time for her to notice it was a fake plant…since he knows she sucks at keeping things alive.

36. Have they ever rode a horse before?

Once, and it was a terrifying experience so she just keeps her distance now.

37. What is their favorite gif?

anything featuring Titus Andromedon.

38. Do they get along with others easily?

She tries to. It’s not always possible, but she tries, dammit!

39. Do they have any tattoos?

Several, yes. One arm sleeve done, starting the other arm, both thighs have massive pieces on them and both ribs done as well. There are also a few small things on her fingers and back.

40. If I wanted to draw them, what would be distinct physical features that I would have to know to draw them correctly?

Lotta hair. Looooooottttta hair. And heavily winged eyeliner. Big lashes.

41. What is their favourite breed of dog?

Huskies. They’re just so cute and sassy! And perfectly sized!! Great cuddle buddies and fun to run with!

42. Do they live with anyone? If so, who?

Not in the human world, but she’s got 7 kinda irritating roomies in the Devildom!

43. Where is their dream vacation?

She’s traveled extensively, so there isn’t anywhere she dreams of going that she hasn’t already seen. Her favorite place is anywhere mountainous and lush.

44. Do they know more than one language?

Yep. Niri’s a language nerd. Because she likes to speak to fans and stuff, she has set it on herself to learn as many languages as she can. She’s not perfectly fluent in all of them, but it’s a good handful that she can hold a full conversation in. She and Satan like to practice with one another around the house, despite complaints from the others.

45. Are they a quick learner?

Depends. Most things, yes…..math and processes requiring math, NO.

46. Have they ever won a contest before? If so, what for? What did they win?

No, she’s not really the luck having type.

47. If the world were to end in 24 hours, where would they be and who would they be with?

Probably hugging Beel. They hug often. They’re kinda always together. It’s gross according to Leviathan and Belphegor.

48. What does their room look like?

She didn’t change much in the room she was given at the HoL. Just added her fake plant from Simeon and a few human things…she actually got the “Hang in There” kitty poster just for kicks. Lucifer hates it.

49. If they could have an extinct animal for a pet, what would they have?

A dodo bird. Because they’re weird and cool.

50. If they got called out by someone, what would they do?

Laugh and argue probably. Depends what they’re calling her out on.

51. Have they ever shot a gun before?

Yep. Actually enjoys shooting, it’s a fun stress reliever. She makes a point to drop by shooting ranges every once in a while back home.

52. Have they ever been axe throwing?

Once at a renaissance festival on an odd week of downtime. She didn’t do so well. The throwing was fine, but she never hit the target. Just be glad she didn’t hit a person either!

53. What is something that they want but can’t have?

At the moment, all the people she loves in one place.

54. Do they know how to fish?

Nope! She’s a mess with that kind of thing. Also, she doesn’t like the idea of fishing for anything herself. It makes her cry to think of the fish on the hook :<.

55. What is something they always wanted to do but too scared?

Hmm…Niri tries to live her life in a way that she won’t have regrets, so even if something is scary, she’ll pluck up the courage to do it. But…she still hasn’t jumped out of a plane.

56. Do they own their own baby pictures?

Absolutely not. She cringes thinking of the outfits her parents used to put her in, so she did her best to keep those kinds of things buried and acts like they never existed. Nope. Was never a baby. Nope.

57. What makes them standout among others?

Niri is a pro at pretending she’s confident, so she tends to draw attention when she walks in a room like she owns the place. Also her hair is kinda bright.

58. Do they like to show off?

Not really. She’s flamboyant in a sense, but she doesn’t go out of her way to call attention or to be center stage…heh.

59. What is their favourite song?

She can never pick, honestly. There are so many songs that are so amazing!

60. What would be their dream vehicle?

That’s a very good question. Probably something sitting in her garage back home. Probably being driven by one of her bandmates. Because hey, what are friends for?

61. What is their favourite book?

Not that she isn’t a big reader, but she doesn’t really get the time to enjoy books. There’s always something that needs attention or someplace to be and she’s required to engage, so focusing on a book or story is hard, but she’s a fan of classic novels, poetry, and Greek tragedies are always good!

62. Who, in their opinion, makes the best food?

She likes everything Barbatos makes and thinks Luke’s desserts are fantastic, but there’s something about a human recipe that just warms her heart, so…..herself. Lol.

63. Are they approachable?

Absolutely! If you can get past her intimidating resting face.

64. Did they ever change their appearance?

Not drastically, but she has gone through a few different phases until settling on a good one.

65. What makes them smile?

The silliness of those around her. Thinking of good memories with family/friends. Puppies.

66. Do they like glowsticks?

Yes. She has a stockpile of glowsticks that the brothers keep adding to.

67. What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?

Watching the brothers bicker, even if it’s getting out of hand. It reminds her of her friends and how they always pick on one another.

68. Are they a day or night person?

Night, usually. Not that she dislikes the daytime, but day usually has so much stuff to be done whereas night is the fun stuff that doesn’t need a schedule.

69. Are they allergic to anything?

Some milk chocolate, bell peppers, and certain devildom plants.

70. What do you, the creator of this OC, like most about them?

She’s a spunky little thing who loves to have fun and make others smile above all else.

71. Who is their ride or die?

In the Devildom, Beelzebub and Astaroth.

Beel for most things, and Asta for the stuff Beel won’t do.

72. Do they currently have a significant other? If not, are they going to get one later one?

Erm…eh…look, it’s never been officially labeled or anything, ok? Like yeah they’re kind always together and have pet names for each other and like always touch and cuddle and like snuggle up in bed together and stuffffffffffff but like, idk? Is Beel her dude? Like….do we wanna even get into that?????? I mean, maybe someday? Like…what? What was the question??

73. What attracts them to another person?

A genuine heart, a killer smile, and a rockin’ bod. Yeah okay look everyone can be a little shallow sometimes okay get off her case >__<.

74. Who is one person that can always make them laugh?

She’s a damn fool and will laugh at ANYTHING, so it’s not hard. Everyone makes her laugh. The girl will 9 times out of 10 laugh at herself for the dumbest moments.

75. Have they ever partied too hard and their friends had to take them home?

Oh yes many times. Many many times. One of the first few times she hung out (went on a date) one-on-one with Beel they had a drinking contest and as it turns out, he can really hold his devil liquor.

76. Who would be their cuddle buddy?

She’ll cuddle up to Beel 99.9% of the time because he’s big and warm and always happy to hold, but she also really enjoys cuddling with Asmodeus. He’s such a sweetie and he smells so nice and they just snuggle and talk and laugh and it’s a nice escape. (Loads of times there are Asmo x Niri x Asta sandwiches in Asmo’s room.)

77. Who would cheer them up after a long day?

She tends to go to one of the brothers depending on what kind of day it’s been. Most of the time it’s gonna be Beel because again, big/warm/happy to hold her, but there are occasions where she’ll drag Beel to one of the others’ rooms and they’ll just hang out.

78. If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?

I mean…Beel. Lol. He’s right there.

79. What object to the care for the most?

She has a picture of her friends from back home that sits on her desk. She treasures that above all while she’s down in the Devildom.

80. Do they like other people’s children?

Sure. Kids are fine as long as they go back to their parents after a bit.

81. How would they react if someone broke into their home?

Seeing as there’s always someone coming into her room regardless if she’s there or not, she probably would just shrug it off. If someone decided to have a bad lapse in judgement and break into the HoL? She wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

82. Does anyone make them have butterflies in their stomach?

I mean….Beel. Lol. He so big and cute! Also Diavolo because he also big and cute.

83. What is something that they are good at?

Crying to get out of trouble. She’s a little shit. Lol.

84. What is their neutral expression?

Niri kinda always looks pissed off or uninterested? Until she smiles and you realize oh, she’s just a big ol’ faker.

85. Do they like to cook?

Yes. It’s one of her very favorite things to do!

86. What is something they can’t leave home without?

Her phone! (and Beel) but like, there’s just so much a phone can do!

87. Who is someone that they rely on?

Have I mentioned ever that Simeon is (or was at one time) Niri’s guardian angel? He seems to always be there and ready to help in any way, so she’s pretty reliant on him and hopes he feels the same toward her. (He does. Cue uwu’s)

88. Do they liked to be tickled?

Absolutely not. She’s extremely ticklish and hates being tickled. She flails and cries.

89. Have they ever been a sword fight before?

No. No she has not lol. Unless empty wrapping paper tubes count? She’s done that.

90. What is a joke that they would find funny?

All the bad ones. All of them. Ugly laugh here we go!

91. Do they have a place that can go and turn off their brain?

The gardens at RAD. It’s peaceful and there’s a great view of the sky.

92. What was their childhood like?

Not bad, but not memorable. There was a lot of pressure put on her to be a perfect kid, and she didn’t get to have a whole ton of fun.

93. What are they like as an adult?

Responsible, but definitely fun-loving. Like I mentioned before, she likes to live in a way that she won’t ever regret not having done something she wanted to do, or regret any actions she took, so she’s always got an open mind and welcomes new experiences. She’s a big ol’ kid.

94. Do they take criticism well?

Yes. She welcomes criticism in any form as she is always looking to be the best person she can be.

95. Have they ever jumped out of a plane?

No. Not yet!

96. Who do they like to make jokes with?

Literally anyone. A total joker. Big big clown.

97. Have you ever drawn them before? If you are comfortable with it, would you post a picture?

Yes! I draw Niri every once in a while. I actually need to draw her again soon! I miss that girl.

#asks for Butter #get to know Niri

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years

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1) Hey, it's me again. The idiot rambling anon. I wasn't gonna spam you again, but then I read your responses. At this point, I'm convinced you're my alter ego, lol. My thoughts are all over the place, but I'll try to organize them. So, about Nick. I've purposely avoided talking about him so far, but why the hell not? Let me make one thing clear: I'm NOT of of those thirsty fangirls. But even if I was? I wouldn't get offended or butthurt, because another person likes different fictional

2) characters (of all things) than me. I mean, big fucking deal. Each to their own, no need for apologies. ;) (My tone is a little aggressive, I know, but I’m sick and tired of some people on social media –in and out of fandoms– acting holier-than-thou and sending hate messages and even actual death threats (!) to creators or people that express unpopular opinions*. It’s reached a point where many people feel the need to put disclaimers in their posts so as not to be attacked.)

3) Back to Nick. I liked him just fine back in early S1, when he was all mysterious and his background story was unknown to us. When we did learn about it and the fandom started acting like he’s that pure, handsome angel uwu? Nah. Obviously, he’s no Fred/Serena/Lydia,but he’s not a “cinnamon roll” either. (Imo, the only decent dude on that show is Luke.) I mean, if Nick was SO altruistic, he wouldn’t have joined this job. Or even after everything went down, he could have tried to help other

4) handmaids without expecting anything in return. But no, he only helps June and that’s because he’s in love with her. I’m not blaming him for trying to survive under such circumstances, but I won’t idolize him either. Now, in s2? I’m kinda neutral about him. I don’t hate him, but I can’t say that I’m a fan either. Not gonna lie, he bores me at times, because he’s just… there. No sparks, no fireworks. Not sure if it’s the writing that doesn’t do the actor any favors, but his acting hasn’t

5) really drawn me in yet. A counterexample to this? Aunt Lydia. Her personality is despicable 98% of the time and yet. Dowd’s captivating performance makes me want to know so much more about her character.) On the other hand, I’m glad that June has someone (besides Rita) to back her up in that hellhole. She needs comfort and allies. But the whole ‘tRu Love 5eva" fanon thing? No, thanks. Not only it doesn’t fit the tone of the series, but I also believe that sharing an intense, forbidden love/

6) during such a shitstorm is not the same thing as keeping it alive after all is said and done (post-Gilead). Maybe they’ll stay together (as long as Nick doesn’t die), maybe they’ll fall apart. I can’t really see June romantically reconnecting with Luke either. After everything she’s been through… She’s a completely different person now. Unfortunately, the same things goes for Emily and her wife. Even though I’d love to see her interact with both her wife and her child in S3.

———

My inbox is so beautiful right now! Never, ever call yourself an idiot, my friend. (If you are, then so am I!) Brain twins, you see.

(Also sorry about this being out of order lol.)

I was trying not to talk about him too cos generally I just … I prefer not to think about him much. The fangirls, just, *sigh*. I try to avoid as much as possible in this fandom, esp on tumblr. Just hang out in my quiet little, not-Serena-hating corner. I always feel a need to put disclaimers these days cos as much as I don’t really care about random hate, I’d prefer not to have to deal with dogpiles or to look at it lmao. Like people can go around just hating on any character here–especially if they’re women–but say one critical (not even hateful) thing about their male fav and things just go off.

I’m more than aware the majority of people don’t like Serena and think she’s the worst thing ever. And fair play! (I get it… cos I’m not delusional. She’s awful.) Each to their own. I don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her. (There are a few posts I do engage with cos normally they seem like they want to go deeper in The Discourse but most Serena/Lydia/Eden/Janine/June-hate I just ignore.)

ITA. S1 was, like, okay. That’s Nick. What’s he up to? What’s his deal? (I don’t really care but I’m not opposed to him either. Just like I didn’t care about Luke’s backstory/escape.) He’s trying to be good to June and she needs that.When we did learn his backstory I was not pleased cos he seemed like a twerp but whatevs. Grey characters are grey. It wasn’t until S2 that I started to get irked by him (and the hypocrisy of his fans but that’s a whole other issue).

I can’t agree ANY more with your assessment of Nick. Like that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been saying! Firstly, he was RIGHT THERE when the Handmaid/Ceremony thing was first suggested and was like “Oh, yeah, great idea!” to Fred. I get that perhaps he was pressured to go along to keep his job but that’s a stretch imo, and if you can give him that sort of leeway, why can’t characters like Eden, Serena, Lydia and June get the same benefit of the doubt for certain things? Why is Nick’s pressure to keep his job more important and forgivable than anybody else’s pressures? It’s like that entire scene doesn’t exist to fangirls and Nick is so precious and in love and wonderful. Then there’s the rape of June. Like I know it’s pretty controversial to look at it that way, but that first time, with Serena overseeing it like a fucking creepy pimp (YUUUUUUCCCKKKKK I HATE IT THANKS) was rape. June barely knew the guy and I’m pretty sure if she wanted to have sex with him it wouldn’t be like that! And sure, after that, it was totally consensual but that first time was not. And I’ve heard the justification and excuses of “Well, Nick didn’t have a choice either!” which I call bullshit on, cos Nick is not some powerless delivery boy.

He’s a fucking Guardian who is tight with the top Commanders. He’s a man, if nothing else. Serena can act all high and mighty but she’s still a woman in a highly misogynistic society. I’m not convinced Fred would take his wife’s word over Nick’s tbh, especially if it was like “Dude, your crazy wife asked me to fuck the Handmaid you’re obsessed with”. If he really didn’t want to do it that badly, he could have taken that chance to report Serena. Even if Fred wanted to keep it hush hush away from other Commanders, he would have gone after Serena. Men are far more likely to turn on women than each other, esp in THT. But that’s just my take. Maybe I am missing something about Nick’s status. To me, it was like double rape. Neither of them wanted to do it, like that anyway. But Nick also did fuck all to stop it when IMO he did have some power to do something. He is not a helpless victim in that society, imo. Again, probably not a well-received opinion.

Don’t even get me started on his “Poor me!” routine in S2 when June tells him to have sex with Eden. I’m glad she called him on that bullshit. (But again, over the fangirls heads. Enough about them!)

Basically, everything Nick has done wrong isn’t his choice; he’s just a victim. In a story about women, Nick’s victimhood at the hands of these nasty women and men is the real issue. Blah. Whatever.

I just find Nick lacks total self-awareness about being part of the shitty ass system. He kind of just floats around thinking nothing is his fault and he’s blameless for it all, and he certainly can’t seem to see it from anyone’s perspective except his own. He’s upset about Fred & June’s Jezebel trips, not for her own safety or well-being but mainly he’s jealous. Of course he’s concerned about her safety but I believe it takes a backseat to his jealousy. He just seems to never take any responsibility for anything.

And BINGO about the previous Handmaid. Nothing we’ve been shown has given any hint he cares about any other woman’s plight in Gilead other than June, and only cares about her cos he had a crush/fucked her/is in wuv wiv her. Basically, she’s HIS so suddenly he cares about her. Look how fast he dumped that Martha as soon as he got brooding about June. He’s done fuckall for anybody except himself and that alone makes me dislike him. He’s no better than Fred in that way for me. But where Fred can occasionally be an interesting villain, cos Fiennes is nasty good, I find the actor who plays Nick just… not engaging. And he’s not SUPPOSED to be a villain! He’s meant to be a good guy! It’s crazy. He’s not compelling, he’s not interesting. He’s bland. He’s not even good looking, lol. I was watching with a friend once and mention I thought Fred was way better looking than Nick and she just stared at me and said, “You shouldn’t say that. But me too.” So, count me in the camp that just does not get the appeal of the character OR the actor.

I don’t hate Nick generally. I am just totally indifferent to his existence. If he left the show tomorrow, I’d shrug and probably be a little glad I don’t have to see that bland moping anymore. If he stays, oh well. Shrug. And I just don’t want his and June’s star-crossed romance shoved down my throat. It’s so… I dunno. I’m not opposed to June finding solace and hope but making it some beautiful forbidden romance, I’m not buying it. Like you said, it’s all well and good in Gilead–but it doesn’t strike me as something that can be sustainable outside it. To borrow from you last time: It’s the Handmaid’s Tale, not The Guardian + the Handmaid’s Tale.

Okay, enough about that pipsqueak. I don’t even like talking about him, tbh. He’s not worth it when there’s so much else going on.

ITA about Luke/June too. I feel like the level of disconnection and trauma that they’ve sustained, especially June, they can try to reconnect but it’s pretty difficult and I think especially with June having a sexual/romantic relationship with Nick pulls that really tight. It’s just two different planets they live on now. I don’t doubt that she still loves Luke, but actually reforming the relationship they previously had seems like an impossible task considering everything both of them have been through. It’s sad, but … sadly true for many people. Relationships can fall apart for far less.

And on the same page about Emily/Sylvia too. She is just soooooo fucking broken, and hopeless, that if they have them just rekindle with no issues, it’ll be bad writing. (I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.

Back to Lydia: Exactly! There’s a character we know very little about and who is a horrible person, yet the performance by Dowd makes almost everyone go, “TELL ME MORE!” With Nick, it’s the opposite for me. I’m just like, “Please, less of this.”

#Anonymous #rants and raves

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franeridart · 7 years

Note

hey fran, i really love you & your art!! i fell in love w your bokuroteru tattoo au after reading it through, and then i found your bakushimas and i love them so much! you're actually the reason i found the motivation to start bnha lol and i'm really glad i did, so thx!

Thank you!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!!! For liking my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* and you’re most welcome, I’m super happy you’re liking it!!!!!

Anon said:I love dragons and I love kiri and I love your art so that post is like all three of my favourite things rolled into one, B L E S S.

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:your traditional sketches are so cool!!! i feel like it kinda adds like depth to it or something but like those are so neat what if you lined some

Thanks!! And I’ve actually thought about that, but I’m not much a fan of going back on stuff I already posted... it’s more probably I’ll just go back to the concept and draw more instead of lining those haha

Anon said:FRAN UR TRADITIONAL ART IS SO CUTE OMG ITS SO GOOD (also DRAGONSSSS)

GAH I’M SO DAMN HAPPY YOU GUYS ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE OH MY G O D S

Anon said:voltron third season is cOMING SOON AS IN TWO DAYS AAAAAA ARE U EXCITED?

Anon... my pal... my dear friend... I don’t know how to break this to you but... I haven’t even properly watched s2 yet...

Anon said:i started reading bnha bc i wanted to understand your art better, and I gotta say it's a really great series. thanks for inspiring me to read it. finished the manga today and my favs are definitely kirishima, tamaki, toshinori and fatgum. actually I knew kiri would be my fave anyway bc 75% of why i got interested in your bnha drawings was bc of him...he's just?? so good?? that aside your art is incredible and your characterizations of the bakusquad are perfect. you're super cool, keep doing you!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much oh my god ;A; I’m happy you decided to try it, I’m super happy you ended up liking it, and I’m indecently happy you actually do like Kirishima!!!!! BOI!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs all the love he can get, the pure son ;A;

Anon said:your art is so good wth!! everytime i get the notif that you posted i get so excited!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

Anon said:The fuck is shitty ab these traditional art pics. They're good, everything u do is good, don't play blind u perfect shit

Tough love! Sometimes this comes around my inbox too haha it’s fine anon, the reason why I rarely draw traditionally is that I never feel like I’m done with a drawing when I do, feel incomplete for however much details I put in because tbh there’s always more I can do on them, so with shitty I mostly meant “incomplete” lol going okay this is finished is something I don’t know how to do with traditional doodles hah

Anon said:yo what happened to your hand bro?

Therapy with my dermatologist that ends up giving me blisters on one of my fingers! It’s nothing serious, but makes arting sorta hard haha

Anon said:You should draw more kiribaku kids it had me really interested and brought out my happy

Should I 👀👀👀 an ugly word, let’s try with could next time shall we - that said, seems like yall really did like something that for me was a one time thing! I might get back on them in the near future, just because that post seems to have blown up way more than I had anticipated haha

Anon said:ahhhhhhh i absolutely love your art. i've been feeling very irritated lately and your kiribaku / kiribakushima art really helps calm me down.

This makes me super happy to know!!!! Oh my gods!!!!!! I hope life has stopped getting on your nerves in the couple days it took me to answer, anon!!!

Anon said:Headcanon: kirishima plays dream daddy

To be honest I don’t know anything about that game aside from “it’s a dating sim” and “it’s gay”, but either way to me it sounds more like something Kaminari would play hahaha

Anon said:Hey Fran! I recently caught up with the BNHA anime thanks to you (still have to get around to the manga) and I loveeee itt so much (pretty much adopted like 20 kids😂) have a lil question tho, in your AU/bnha comic thingy are Bakugo and Midoriya finally like... "okay" friends? Or is Bakugo still acting like he hates the poor boy? Thanks in advance and also absolutely love your art~😍

WEEEEHHHHYYYYYY I’m glad you decided to check it out, anon!!!!! But, I’m sorry I’m gonna need you to be more specific here since I don’t have any “ongoing” AU for that fandom atm - exactly which comic are you referring to?

Anon said:I've been restraining myself from going on Tumblr to once a month max for like a year or so now because it was exams and then I had a new year (MY LAST YEAR) of high school to worry about, and I know me. When I go on Tumblr, I stay on Tumblr for literally an entire day. Or more. And then I accidentally stumbled upon your stuff today and wasted (thoroughly enjoyed) a day of scrolling through your art and asks. I never knew I shipped bakushima so hard until today. Thank you for your beautiful art.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so happy you decided to use your one day for my blog omfg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so so much for this ask, it made me really super happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you know the song that is playing when endeavor is fight the winged nomu? ive tried looking for it but I can't seem to find it. thanks if you know it. its fine if you don't. btw you're amazing

Eeep sorry anon this ask is so old omfg I hope you found your answer somewhere else - also because I’m actually the worst person in the world to ask about soundtracks orz so, like, double sorry o

Anon said:A cute kirikamibaku thought to hopefully help cheer you as you wait for your hand to heal again: the three of them going out to a restaurant and Denki trying to subtly convince the other two to order something he wants to try when he can't decide what he wants to eat. Whenever he succeeds, he ends up eating just as much off their plates as his own.

This has actually been cheering me up for days now so thank you !!!!!!! Also because I’ve been thinking about Bakugou giving in but making it super spicy out of spite and honestly that’s the funniest thing hahahaha

Anon said:MATSUHANA🌸🌸🌸🌸

IT’S INDEED A SHIP THAT EXISTS! A GREAT ONE TOO!!

Anon said:I can't stop thinking abt that one anon that sent you "Batsuki Katsuki" and I'm losing my fuckin mind over it oh my god but anyway hello I love ur art I hope you have a good day ( ˘ ³˘)♥

THANK YOU!!!! I hope you’ll have a great month, anon!!!! *O* and also tbh same I randomly remember it and laugh by myself thank you anon for that gem I’m never getting over it haha

Anon said:I live for your bakukirikami art. I never had an ot3 until these boys, and they're just so so good. Do you think any of them ever gets insecure/jealous about the other two's bond in the relationship? I feel like if anyone would it might be Denki? But I dunno, because the way you portray them I like to think that they all actually just love watching each other be cute and bond and stuff.

Yeah that’s how I see them! You know how, like... when you’re friends with two people and they’re friends with each other and you look at them being silly together and you’re like boy I’m so glad I have both of you in my life and that I can have you both at the same time and that you can be silly and adorable and happy together too - that’s exactly how I portray the bkk, only it’s romantic instead of platonic haha

Anon said:Your art has inspired me to write some BakuKiri / KiriBaku bless!!!! I'm also writing KiriBakuKami as well, thank you so much for the gorgeous art!

THIS IS THE BEST SORT OF ASK!!! THE BEST!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! It's the anon that asked about posting your art online for the first time. Thank you so much for answering my questions! That means a lot to me. I'll definitely take your advice. You made me feel a lot better about posting my stuff online. I'm gonna go ahead and draw the things that make me happy and,, hopefully I'll find people that like it like me!

AAAAHHHHHH I’m happy I could help!!! And I’m sure you will, anon!!!!! I hope you’ll be able to have a great time in whatever community you decide to be part of *O*

Anon said:I was feeling slightly uck but then I was like "you know what would make you feel better" and I just started scrolling through your blog and HONESTLY you are a blessing I feel a lot better and lighter and looking at your blog is literal self care for me now I love you and I hope you have a fantastic day

Sob thank you so much for this ask ;A; aaahhhhhhhh!!!! I’m so happy I can help you like that and this made me feel great back when I first read it (and also now that I’m rereading it, honestly!!!) so thank you for making my days better too, anon!!!!

#fran answers #using the random burst of strength to finally get around to answering these asks #the weather is being horrible here my pals!!!!#it's so damn hot!!!!!#yesterday it was SO HOT that the place where i live as a whole decided to turn on the ac #and it was such a huge strain on the electricity lines that they just went B Y E #and i was without electricity (and internet) for FIVE HOURS #this is how horrible it's being here #we have an average of nearly 40°C #im dying #anonymous

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fadedtoblue · 7 years

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Please, I need to know that there's someone else that hopes that Karen will have the same ending of the comics, possibly in the last Defenders episode. I *really* love Matt/Elektra relationship, I'm a huge Elektra fan and I've read basically every comic on her, so... I can't stand Karen. || continues ||

I hope that, if they want to change the background as they did with Elektra, Karen will abandon Matt for Frank, even if this would make no sense at all in the comics, but…whatever. Just give us Mattelektra and we will be happy, am I right?! P.s.: I adore your posts. P.p.s.: Sorry for my english.

Hello anon, your English is great :)!! And gosh you are so sweet, I appreciate so much that you’re enjoying my posts, I could talk Mattelektra forever :D!

I relate SO much to your love of Elektra and reading everything on her (shout out to my hubby for getting a year of Marvel Unlimited, I really got my money’s worth on that one though I know I’m still missing huge chunks of the stuff they didn’t digitize yet and/or I wasn’t able to get my hands on it). And I can see where you’re coming from on Karen. I’ve been fairly open about it in conversations with other people, but I’ll admit I really could not stand Karen at all when initially watching DD S1, and it definitely bled over a bit into my assessment of her in DD S2. I got way more deep into the comics after DDS2, became a lot more familiar with her original characterization (past my previously wiki level knowledge) and have since rewatched both seasons a few times over and I have to admit – my opinion has shifted on her quite a bit. Mostly, I’ve discovered that for all of my frustration with Karen on the show (I still find myself saying “KAREN NO” an awful lot), she has surpassed her comics origins in a mostly positive way and I feel like she brings really interesting and necessary character perspective which is most obvious when she operates outside of the narrow confines of Nelson and Murdock (there’s a reason why, IMO, her most compelling material was with Ben and Frank). Tbh, she’s still not really a fav of mine, but I can appreciate her role in the series.

Now I say all of this not to convince you to like Karen (because again, I understand where you’re coming from), but because I think the show has diverged from the source material enough that maybe outside of Matt, Karen probably has the most plot armor out of anyone on the series, especially since she’s so integral to other storylines OUTSIDE of Daredevil (with the Punisher show), and she’s clearly being set up to play the Ben Urich role from the comics. So I would find it really hard to believe the writers would ever give her the same ending she had in the comics, unless it was for pure shock. But on a positive note, I’d say that because they have changed her background so much, it wouldn’t be entirely preposterous for us to hope the writers find more utility in her character besides fulfilling her comics role as Matt’s girlfriend?? And that they can find a way to give us some more Mattelektra, even if it’s not of the entirely romantic variety?? And when all else fails, fast forward is your friend :)! I have fast forwarded through specific scenes in DDS2 for sanity reasons hehe.

Generally speaking though, if the show killed off ANY of their primary female characters – Claire, Karen, Elektra AGAIN (I wouldn’t put it past them to consider it if they bring Bullseye onto the show but MY GOD I dare them to even try, seriously, I will wreck somebody) – it would be a travesty because the show is so much richer with their characters in it and it would be awful to imagine a version of the show without it.

Just my two cents (okay maybe it was more like five cents :p), but know that I really do think we have a good shot at getting SOME kind of Mattelektra anyway, even if it’s not quite what we really want!

#anonymous #asks #answers #matt x elektra #elektra natchios #karen page #meta #text #my thoughts #p talks about stuff #mine

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smallblanketfort · 7 years

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i know its kind of a taboo thing to diagnose yourself with a mental illness but i really really relate to things ive read online and even on your twitter about bpd how do i know i feel like i at least have to know but i also don't want to find out that i'm faking it

this is one of my favorite subjects, tbh. just because i feel like people are always polarized on this and we don’t have to be. okay. this is my personal stance, i’m willing to discuss this, so please don’t take what i say as fact, or yell at me for being wrong. just tell me what you think. im so sorry im so wordy

so first of all, a disorder is born out of something that naturally exists. take depression: “sad” is a feeling. “numb” sometimes happens. sometimes you dont want to get out of bed. people occasionally have Days. But. it’s an issue if it’s excessive, disruptive (hence the term disorder)/hurtful. ocd isn’t being “neat.” borderline personality disorder is a topic you’ll see all over tumblr… people love to reblog bpd posts bc they’re so “relatable.” “oh! i miss people too! i’m clingy! haha cute :-)” but really like. bpd will make life very very challenging. it’s not cute or relatable. elements come from natural characteristics, but are deepened. like comparing light pink to magenta. they’re similar but they’re not at all the same. yanno? so-

-so my first thought on selfdx is that you should never!!! rush!!!! it really frustrates me when “depression” and “suicide” become trendy among teenagers. it encourages self destructive behaviors because it’s just “what you do.” it’s not to be taken lightly. these labels are not romantic. it’s this really tough balance between releasing stigma without turning it into a cute snapchat filter, yanno? so. if you’re going to look into selfdx be very very careful. go very slowly.

so do so with a shit ton of research. i self diagnosed before official diagnosis, and i haven’t stopped reading about bpd in a couple years. i have about three books on the floor and several safari tabs up on my phone at all times. part of this is because i’m convinced i’m faking, and i hope i’ll stumble across that key. but the thing is, research, if done correctly, thoroughly, and honestly, will be the most surreal thing you ever do. holy. fucking. shit. i get goosebumps every single time. all these things that are pulled straight from my mind and my view, are in black and white. often these are things i never could have identified as abnormal; like last night i found an article about symptoms not often discussed, and it included not being able to comprehend measurement units and time? i never realized that was a thing, but it makes sense. so anyway. it will be frightening and enlightening and cool and nerve wracking and interesting. it’ll make you want to disappear and crawl out of your skin and want to meet others like you, all at once. be very honest. read and read and read and talk to people who are diagnosed. examine this.

a doctor will use dsm-5 to diagnose

a mental illness. it’s literally a checklist. you’ll see “dsm-5″ all the time, it means diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders - whatever edition they’re on at the time. look it up. read through them. read the provided studies.

along with examining the illnesses, examine yourself. you know yourself better than a doctor ever will. a doctor will ask you questions, but you will answer. so really. try. to hear yourself. start keeping a journal. i highly suggest free mood tracker apps like stigma and pacifica. stigma is very simple to use; select a mood you felt that day and write a 300 word limit entry. pacifica is much more in depth; it’s amazing, but overwhelming at first. i try to take breaks from reading about it, because reading about disorders automatically makes characteristics emerge more heightened from my behavior. i also have this terrible habit of labeling and then dissociation, instead of allowing myself to feel without immediately analyzing myself. but it’s important to take a step back and examine how you think, what you think, and how it all impacts your actions.

also think about why you want to figure it out. do you want to have a Thing, a story? or do you just want to understand yourself? remember that mental illness is like. almost purely chemical. not something to just play with.

it’s all very tricky, especially when dealing with personality disorders. the thing is, tho, like a label is going to do u very little good unless ur seeing someone or thinking. like. nothing about YOU is changing. when i say someone, i mean a medical professional or anyone in general. having a label will help you get medication, get proper therapy, help you feel less alone, and help others around you figure out how to help you. that’s an entirely different discussion i could talk about for 12 years… how a label might impact your interactions and experiences. but having a label will only help you if you let it, yanno?

anyway. i need to stop going on and on. if you made it through all this, holy shit, congratulations you can leave now. i could have just said: be slow, be careful, be self aware, be honest, be c a r e f u l. and see someone if you want. does that help at all??? idk i say what’s obvious, sorry if it seems like im preaching soryr

#but ye if you ever have questions about bpd or anything hmu! im always up to talk about it :)#anon #answers

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