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inkskinned · 3 months

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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

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egophiliac · 3 months

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What do we think, will we get Briar Valley Event somewhere in the future? And WILL WE SEE PRESENT PEEPAW ZIGVOLT? I wonder what Sebek meant that he looks older and I really wanna see Lilia and his relationship after retirement. What do you think?

god I hope so, I desperately want to see Briar Valley and whatever family member they throw at us. and if it's Baul I hope he's the exact same sprite but with, like, a mustache crudely pasted on. that's how he looks in my head and in my heart.

my entire KINGDOM to see one or both of Sebek's parents though, they are the best characters in all of Twst and they haven't shown up even once. 😭 though I think I might prefer his dad, because 1) show me the noodley dentistman, and 2) Mrs. Z is such a mythical figure in my mind at this point that reality could never compare (w-what if she gets a canon design and she isn't a hundred feet tall and could crack the earth by flexing her thighs, how could I go on) (jk jk she's so great that I would love her no matter what) (but also...)

of course based on past Twst events if they go to Briar Valley it's just going to go basically like this:

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 4 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 chapter 4 spoilers #that's it that's the ssr #anyway i would also very much enjoy one or both of sebek's siblings #i get the impression they are way chiller than him but love him very much and i adore that #honestly i'll take anyone in his family i love them all already #and it would have to be a zigvolt right?#the only other significant briar valley person is maleficia and...there's probably too much baggage there for a silly tourism event story #then again that would be the most hilarious way to introduce her. damnit.#what if they show up to briar valley and revaan is just there with no explanation #they found him he was just offscreen this entire time

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ruporas · 5 months

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i made a digital vw zine, there's a bunch of stuff on here that hasn't been shared elsewhere! if you're looking for a barrage of vw being really clingy and all, look no further :]

LINK

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #ruporas art #HI....... HELLO..... this is my first zine ever.... this is primarily a sketch log with a few finished stuff that i just never posted #there's a few drawings that i did share but never cross - platformed posted them before #compiled them for convenience sake in this lil zine #NEXT YEAR! i will definitely do a physical zine if there's still garnered interest in that lol... it's been in the wips but it's taking #a bit because there's long-ish comics i want to finish for it; alongside that i hope to set up sale for physical goods in general soon..#i'm still figuring that all out :') but in the mean time - please enjoy this if u are able to buy!!

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macksartblock · 3 months

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hey gang <3

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #oakworthy #scerica #scary marlowe #normal oak swallows garcia #hermie the unworthy #erica drippins #taylor swift dndads #lincoln li wilson #terry jr stampler #grant wilson #i had another wip take featuring link more prominently but i didn't have time to finish that for today sadly #i've mentally put them on a field trip they're all having a great time even terry who i've slotted into the chaperone position lmao #hes also holding a pepsi in that second pic hes just enjoying a nice soda #anyways happy valentines for anyone who cares about that and if not have an even better day #my artwork

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ryllen · 1 month

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A question I have just recently,

can Sebek handle spicy?

this is what i generally think of fae.

tho i think,

lilia knows spicy spices from his travel.

even tho in dragon form, malleus breathes fire from his mouth, and fire is hot, it might be like the kind of fire that doesn't hurt him in the first place

sebek father might bring spicy spice from human world with him, but since i think of him as a mellow man, he might not be interested in spicy food in the first place

#honestly it makes me wonder all the nrc students ability to handle spiciness & i wish everyone would start putting them into tiers #twst #twisted wonderland #do i tag this as sebek #i do want to know what others think of him #sebek zigvolt #i think the octas would be very bad at it #but floyd probably keeps on challenging it so he gains tolerance over it #riddle would be very bad with it #ace would be pretty good #but deuce would be a little less #or do u think punk him would dare other punks on spicy food #who would shed tears #who would break a sweat #who would eat like it's nothing #who would wail asking the great seven to take them to the after world #i am just wondering bcs of the rabbit sausage roll in deuce hometown #leona who never lift a finger finally break a sweat from spicy food #who knows we even see tears in his eyes while he endures it silently #can vil stay beautiful eating spicy food #despite his tough claim can epel handle spicy #anyhow do u know there's samyang 1/2 spicy now #that's the only one i can eat without suffering like actually enjoying it #idia i feel like he would wrinkle from spicy food #but what if he is some connoisseur of instant noodles so he had been eating spicy ones quite a lot #my brother always love to see me suffer over spiciness

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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best friendisms

bonus <3

#do you think they have heart-shaped bff locket necklaces #barnaby has a picture of wally in his. wally's has a picture of an apple #no one told him he was supposed to put a pic of barnaby in it </3 tragic </3 #now if you all will excuse me im gonna go eat tylenol cereal and also shove my head through the wall #they make me Unwell <3 #Supremely Unwell <3 #theyre!!! theyre besties!!! they are best friends!!! holy shit!!!#sniffling sobbing wailing crawling on the ceiling etc etc #what a time to be alive... to be able to Appreciate them....#big guy & his lil buddy.... OUAAWOOOOOOOOOOO AGHHHHH OUGHHHHHHHH #i think about barnaby and wally. i take minecraft damage #my healthbar has been dangerously low lately <3 #scribble garnish #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #wally darling #welcome home puppet show #sobbing vfx. glass breaking vfx. car crash vfx. banshee wailing vfx-#if anything happens to them i will #Enjoy It Greatly!!!#i will! it would hurt So Fucking Much but id have a great time!#anyway drawing this took ten years off my life. at first i scribbled barnaby's paw Backwards #so i had to completely change half of it #and just. sigh. i Was gonna color it but it took more energy than i thought it would #and really! who has the Energy these days!!! certainly not me!#there are still Mistakes but yk.... whatever... its fine perfection is an impossible achievement anyway <3

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canisalbus · 4 months

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Absolutely sending me that vasco sleeps butt fucking naked with his weird little Victorian doll boyfriend

Different strokes for different folks.

Vasco finds sleepwear kind of unnecessary and restricting. He doesn't insist on sleeping nude and can go to bed decently dressed if the situation calls for it, but if it's up to him and he's comfortable and in trusted company, he prefers wearing very little.

Machete gets cold easily and has weird body image issues, not being properly covered tends to distress him. Plus he has a thing for high guality garments and wants to look pretty or at least passably presentable even in bed.

#Vasco grew up smothered in luxury so even though he enjoys dressing flashy and taking care of his appearances #he still ends up prioritizing comfort and convenience especially in private #the thought of somehow falling from his high lifestyle scarcely crosses his mind #Machete grew up in ascetic surroundings and wasn't allowed to have nice things until he began earning his own money as an adult #when he eventually started being able to afford silk (the softest fanciest material around but outrageously expensive)#there was no turning back he wants to wear that 24/7 #Machete thinks Vasco is hot (easy on the eyes) and hot (warm to the touch) so he may sleep butt fucking naked in his bed all he wants #and Vasco thinks Machete looks cute in his silly frilly nightgowns and he knows he wears them to feel better about himself so why not #everybody wins #answered #anonymous #Vaschete lore

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petitesmafia · 9 months

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we should have a spin-off and it's just aya helping bram discover the world. call it adventures of aya and bram-pack (she carries him around on her back like a backpack)

#enas.txt #bungou stray dogs #it's bram learning about all this modern technology and being SO amazed #and aya's like wait til u hear about AI...#just picturing them exploring the world and taking selfies #aya posing really cutely and bram with his deadpan face #he's enjoying himself a lot tho #they're so silly and funny together #bsd s5

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novakiart · 5 months

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meetcute—with a little murder? pages 1-2

updates will be a little slow as I'm actually putting some effort into this, but pages 3-4 are already up on ko-fi!

#spideypool #spider-man #deadpool #wade wilson #peter parker #hope you enjoy!!!! all my wips are live on ko-fi so if you peep over there you can #see why this has been taking me so long #i keep finalizing pages and then redrawing them djdhsjjs #ANYWAY.#missed my boys!

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ffc1cb · 1 year

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happy to announce i’ve finally lost it and spent a considerable amount of time making a dragon age inquisition mod that lets your inquisitor use they/them pronouns. if there’s anyone out there besides me who wants to use it, here it is on nexus.

detailed description and personal commentary under the cut

update: as of 3.05 (may 3rd), the mod has been uploaded to nexus. see download link above for any future updates.

this is a mod for frosty mod manager 1.0.6.1. you MUST install the bioware localization plugin for it to work, otherwise the game won’t start. on fmm 1.0.6.2, the plugin is already built in, so you don’t need to worry;

this mod is a simple overhaul of the game’s base text; no changes were made to the actual voice lines. this mod also does not affect default romance flags (just like in vanilla game, you can only romance sera with a "female" inquisitor (or dorian with "male"), but the mod should, hypothetically, be compatible with other mods that edit romance flags);

you can install it at any point of the game. starting a new playthrough is not necessary;

works for all races and with all available dlcs;

along with the pronouns change, this mod changes all gendered words used to refer to the inquisitor to be gender neutral, i.e man / woman have been replaced with person or contextual variants. my lord / my lady and other similar titles have been replaced with messere (on the basis of this reddit thread);

some of the dialogue could've been mistakenly changed, since context was not always easy to parse. if you try this mod out, i’d greatly appreciate any help with pointing out my mistakes (blackwall’s romance in particular has given me the most trouble); additionally, i might have missed some lines in the codexes, since i skimmed through them very briefly.

i’ve no previous modding experience, so i went with the easiest option and, like i mentioned above, brute forced it and made a complete overhaul of the base game text as opposed to a pickable option i’d like it to be. ideally i’d love for this mod to be bundled together with this other one that switches pc pronouns (which was a partial inspiration for this mod). if anyone here has any knowledge on whether this is something that could be done, please hmu.

also, since in order to make this mod i had to read through the entire game text (it was torturous. not gonna lie) i collected some of my personal favorite bits and pieces along the way. if anyone’s curious, you can look at them here. there’s surprisingly many developers’ notes in there.

ps: this mod is free to use for all so this is not at all necessary, but if anyone is feeling generous, i have a tip jar.

#oh boy. let's see #dragon age #dragon age mod #dragon age inquisition #dai mods #NO idea how to tag this. help #i was initially planning to just use screenshots of codexes on inquisitors of every race (since this mod works for all of them)#but decided to take some of parsley instead because they are after all the motherfucker that started it all. my deed is done. i am at peace #i dedicate this mod to my friend srid whos been providing me with emotional support while i worked on this. he kept me sane #i also dedicate this mod to that one person from a random tapatalk thread from 2015 that i found while searching whether someone's done #something like this before. they're the reason the idea for this mod planted itself inception style in my brain back in 2020 #anyway. enjoy. please

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letsmcfreackingloseit · 6 months

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So yes I have OF COURSE read @naffeclipse new fic Apex Polarity and yes, I AM OBSESSED!

So I decided to make a little comic of how I think their "first encounter" might have looked like from Eclipse's perspective.

I can't help but think about how alien and scary we most look to him (especially if there is a history of fasco hunting polar sirens in the past). With all that gear we look like emotionless beings, just observing and uncaring of this ice world. But then when y/n shows up and probably exudes this joy and wonder for his world + shows respect for the creatures and the environment??? Mmh yeah, I can see Eclipse falling for y/n, especially considering how alone he might be...

So yes, that's what I have for today! If you want to read the fic I'll link it right here. I can't recommend it enough, but as always, read the tags so you know what you're getting into! And lastly I also want to @themeeplord beacuse Eclipse's design is basically their design in my style (god I love their design so much, their character/creature designs are the BEST) so all the credit goes to them! Polar!Y/N is my design thou! ;P

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read the two latest chapters-

YIPPEE!!!

#apex polarity #orca!eclipse #polar y/n #dca #dca fandom #I am once again plagued by the terrible ramble disease #but I got thoughts and I wanna share them >:/#so here are some more:#when I say the humans look alien I mean Grey alien level alien #Emotionless face? Check. Big empty eyes? Check. Studying and probing the inhabitants? Check. Possibly abducts inhabitants? Check #or mad scientist vibe #imagine professor Membrane from Invader Zim while he's saying 'I know better know' <- that kind of vibe #ok- one last thought!#as you can see- I decided to go full out and try coloring and stuff!#and one of the reasons why I decided to do that is because I'm not well practised in those departments- but I want to get better at them!#so if you think this looks like a hot mess- it's because they are XD #but with all this considered- I think I did pretty well!#So I hope you enjoyed it! XD #Now I'm giving all of you who's read ALL OF THIS a giant gold star #because wow- you're dedication and focus is absolutely INSANE and I appreciate you taking the time to read this #NOW GO AND BE FREE MY FRIEND!!!

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missingexaltation · 2 years

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A few years after Vecna, Steve gets invited back to the high school to play in a charity basketball match with (and against) other Hawkins basketball alumni. It's for charity, and he misses the rush of playing (and he kinda wants to see if he's still any good), so he agrees.

He asks Eddie if he'll be there, but although Eddie's somewhat enthusiastic to Steve's face, he whines about it for days to Wayne. He fucking hates sports, why did he have to fall for a fucking jock, of all things. UUUGH! Wayne puts up with it for a while before realising that Eddie's not going to talk himself around, and gives him a blunt, verbal kick in the ass.

"You think your boy enjoys watching your dungeon and dragons shtick, son?" He asks, sipping at his beer.

Eddie's offended, immediately.

"He's never missed a session, course he loves it." he says. "And i know he pays attention because we talk about it afterwards and he's always..."

"And how's that make you feel?" Wayne interrupts.

"Fucking amazing." Eddie grumbles, knowing what's coming, and hating it.

"...and how do you talk about his hobbies?"

Eddie sighs and covers his face. Wayne carries on, knowing he's made his point but hammering it home nonetheless.

"Your boy loves his sports, he's always here just in time to watch the games with me nowadays. And don't think I haven't noticed how bored you are when it's on. I reckon he's noticed too."

Eddie's silent, starting at the ceiling with a dramatic, melancholy pout.

"Ah shit." He sighs. "I'm a bad boyfriend, aren't I?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. But learn from it if you want to be better." Wayne shrugs. "He makes you happy by indulging in your hobbies, maybe you should think about doing the same. Guarantee it'll put a smile on your boy's face, if nothing else."

So next time Steve brings it up, (tentatively, like he knows Eddie will complain) Eddie is much more genuinely enthusiastic. Steve's surprised for a split second (and doesn't that hurt), before he's beaming and looking absolutely delighted. And shit, yeah ok. It does make Eddie feel good to see Steve happy. Course it does.

The game rolls around, and hell yeah, it's boring to watch. Eddie's been reading up on the rules, so he's not entirely confused, but it just seems so pointless. Steve's good though. From what he's seen (and he's totally not biased, thanks) Steve's running rings around the other team, and Eddie's so fucking proud! It helps that Steve's in those shorts, showing off damn near the full length of his legs.

More importantly, he looks so fucking happy while he's playing. He keeps shooting Eddie these big, beaming smiles when they've scored a hoop, or point, or whatever they're called, and Eddie finds himself melting where he sits, face aching from smiling so much in return.

By the end of the game Eddie's fully invested. Sure, he barely understands what's going on, but even he knows enough that getting the ball in the hoop is a good thing, and Steve does it loads. Their team wins, and there's a huge group hug, pats on the back and other sporty, manly things before they all part ways and start making their way out to the parking lot.

Eddie stays put. He knows Steve will come right to him, and he does. They walk back to Steve's car together, and Steve's on some sort of winner's high; all smiles and cocky strutting. It's kinda hot. Screw that, it's totally hot, and suddenly Eddie's glad that Wayne's working tonight and they've got the place to themselves.

"Surprised you lasted the whole game, Eds." Steve says, teasingly, before he just downs a water bottle. "Thought you'd have died of boredom halfway though."

"Pssh." Eddie waves him off, trying not to feel embarrassed. "You know, Stevie, you're pretty amazing at that." He waves his hand vaguely back towards the court. "That shot you made from almost the centre? Chills, baby, full on chills."

Steve doesn't even bother checking to see if anyone's watching. He slams Eddie against the side of his car and kisses him, cradling Eddie's face with his hands, as though he'd die if he didn't have full body contact.

And Eddie knows the feeling. Like when Steve had recounted a particularly awesome moment from his campaign, and all Eddie had wanted to do was drag him right to the bedroom.

Steve pulls away.

"Get in." He said, opening the car door for Eddie like the gentleman he is.

And fuck, if this is the reaction he gets for paying attention, then he's definitely doing it more. If he's honest with himself, he should have been doing it from day one, but yeah sometimes he's a bit dense and needs a push in the right direction.

So basketball's boring as shit usually, but when Steve's playing? Hell yeah. He'll even put up with listening about it (and even football), if it puts that smile on Stevie's face. That's the price for dating a jock, he guesses, but it's miniscule, and it's fucking worth it.

#eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #Eddie making the effort to learn Steve's hobbies is so important to me #There's tons of the other way around...but Steve deserves to be able to talk about and enjoy his own stuff too #although Eddie has his pride...his boyfriend's happiness is WAY more important #(He still grizzles when Steve and Wayne watch 'the game' together though...he's a little shit...but it's more teasing than complaining)#Wayne hates D&D but he'll take that to his grave. He and Steve have talked about it...it's Eddie's enthusiasm that keeps them interested #Steve enjoys it...but mainly the atmosphere that comes from the party all enjoying themselves...he'll never play it himself #just like Eddie will never play basketball...but he enjoys watching Steve play

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mattodore · 4 months

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playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating

#river dipping #dionte duval #lykos #ts4 #i do really love how dionte and nicholas kinda have a b4b (bald for bald) thing going on.... but that first hair........#he looks so good... the urge to keep it is gonna make me develop a twitch under my eye...#i love the shadows the locs add btw like i personally loveee when hair creators add shading #like the DRAMAAA it adds!!!#also don't look too closely at him here bc i actually haven't updated him yet hence no proper edit of him (tho i probably won't change much #i'm really just supposed to be cleaning out the hundreds!! of duplicate households in my library dkhjnkfgh i just. get so distracted #i also have to fix mattodore's households bc i think i accidentally deleted the updated version of them at 20...#like there are multiple other saves?? but they're all with matthias's old chin??? like literally WHERE did the updated version go #so i need to clean out my library from the top down and fix their sims #i really messed my sleep schedule up the day before yesterday when i was working on those edits of delphi btw #but i did enjoy rewatching secretary and watching charade while staying up all night to do them <3 #also listened to the first two chapters of freedom is a constant struggle! editing may take me forever but i do do other things as i do it #...........talking a lot in these tags bc i'm seriously procrastinating jdkhnf i do NOT ! want to clean through my library it's a mess #OH. ALSO GOOD MORNING I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ‼️#seeing this again two days later and seeing the amount of notes....... y'all weren't meant to reblog this kjhdkfjhndkjgnh #now i'm like damn... is there any reason to make his intro edit like i did for ria and delphi 😭😭😭😭😭

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saltpepperbeard · 7 months

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no because really, i think stede is operating in a way he thinks will win him respect. i think he's operating in a way he thinks is the expectation. i don't think he likes it, and i don't think it's "him," but i think he enjoys the positive reinforcement from everyone around him. he's literally never had that before in his life.

he was bullied as a child for what he enjoyed. he was cast aside by his father for being himself. the crew threatened to mutiny against him or even just flat-out kill him because he was too "weak."

and here he is trying to pull himself up out of maelstrom of mistakes. "he's been a failure his whole life." he's trying to do everything he can to rectify that. he wants to be the lighthouse for his crew. he wants to be a good captain. he wants to be a good pirate. he wants to be a good lover. he wants to be something.

and he was actually getting there himself--he just didn't realize it. listening to his crew more, showing them kindness, leading them when they were lost and had no place to go, putting his own grief on hold and taking back the revenge...

he was getting there! but still, he was surrounded by those haunting expectations, by the fear that it wasn't enough.

the whole conversation between he and ed where ed is encouraging him to command respect/be tougher. the whole conversation between he and izzy where izzy says he's "never met anyone with a total lack of skills." zheng saying that she didn't "conquer china by letting people go on and on about their feelings."

not to mention the goading from ned. "once you kill me, you're a real pirate. you're not an amateur." "see? that's why he likes you. your bumbling amateur status."

it all keeps swimming circles around him, looming above his head like a shadow.

he thinks he has something more to prove. he thinks he has to be more. even though his own methods work, like ned's crew turning on him simply because stede showed kindness and understanding, all these phantoms keep telling him it isn't enough and that the other methods are more effective.

because he kills, and looks visibly shaken by it, but his crew cheers. he grabs ed by the collar despite them wanting to take things slow, and they grow intimate. he walks into jackie'z after it all, a place where he was previously banished from, and is treated like a sort of pirate hero.

it's not him. "we don't just banish people, do we? that's not us."

but it's encouraged. it's celebrated. so he thinks it should be.

#OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Stede Bonnet #Revenge Rambles #WHEW #listen #listen listen #i have trust #i have faith #i really truly believe he's just caught up way WAY too much in all of this #that he's in WAYYYYY over his head #that he's riding the wave of FEELING like someone #and isn't really taking anything else into account #because like #idk man #as someone who has struggled to fit in and struggled to be respected/treated well by my peers through school #i did some things that i would normally not do #i acted in ways uncharacteristic for me #and i thought i enjoyed them at the time #i rode the thrill of getting approval from everyone else #but looking back on it now #it was absolutely NOT worth it and was not something i'd do presently #i just did it simply because i thought i had to #and i think that's more of what's going on with stede right now

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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you cannot tease wei wuxian and hua cheng hunting for funsies and not show that to us??? it has to go one of two ways right? either an absolute visious blood bath where everyone cowers in fear or the equivalent of a teenage girl's slumber party. both??? both.

Hunting each other for sport is the keystone to a fun slumber party

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #tgcf #wei wuxian #hua cheng #I was so happy to get this ask because it have me the perfect segue to show these two being silly together #This comic also kicked my ass while trying to draw it....I have learned a lot while gasping for breath outside of my comfort zone #action scenes are hard....help I don't want to look at this ever again.....#But yes. These two would have a lovely time being *silly* ^_^ together (actually winding up for a sparing match).#Then go right back to being very casual and chill. They have lots in common!#Both of them love to fight and would be thrilled to have a partner for it. Then talk about paint mixtures.#How long LWJ and XL take with their cooking classes is up for interpretation. But these two are frolicking the entire time #Everyone loves being hunted and hunting. That's what tag is all about. This is just tag with swords.#I hope everyone enjoys looking at HC's bare feet. He puts those cold puppies on Xie Lian every night.

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caycanteven · 7 months

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I needed Lamia!Balsam in my life immediately.

They eepin together cause she gets cold really fast.

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