#tactical boyfriends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-mountain-flower · 4 months

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Falst blushing at Dainix:

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staryflowers · 3 months

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KILLING me that the previews for these tags are the same

#aurora spoilers #comic aurora #aurora comic #dainix aurora #falst aurora #crustables #dainix #falst #ferinheit #tactical boyfriends #makes sense #it's probably 1 post tagged with both but like it's just so funny #that everyone's gone so insane over the recent shipping fodder the tags have just. Converged.

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ruminate88 · 2 months

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“I guess I miss the times he acted obsessed with me. He made me feel so beautiful and wanted but after we broke up; I felt ugly and so stupid for thinking he ever cared about me when clearly I was a joke to him.”

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kil9 · 9 months

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everyone agrees that the patriarchy teaches men to hide their emotions, and that this is a bad thing, so why is it that when men actually show an emotion everyone jumps to call him an abuser or manipulator or whatever :\

#99.txt #im so sick of this #you all have no faith in people. you just see the word boyfriend or he pronouns and go !!ABUSER!! DUMP HIM! and dont see how there could be #any negative reprocusions of that................#i still cant forget that ANONYMOUS message where someones boyfriend was worried they were cheating. & the person who got the ask was like #''wow HE'S definitely the one cheating.''#on an ANONYMOUS message ????? how could you possibly say that with confidence with ZERO information ?#some guy was worried and thats what you have to say ????? and you act like you have no hand in men supressing themselves ?#someone who might have had mental health problems or have been cheated on before and been hurt. like.#whoa call me a red flag or whatever for saying this but. no one would say that if it was a woman ! no one !#we all have a hand in society and we all have a hand in the patriarchy and if you dont get your head out of your ass and wise up #then ur just gona get more people hurt #i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!!#if you still feel the same thats fine ! it was a good thought exercise !!!#but you need to consider these things even if they are uncomfortable to you 🤨 in order to challenge your mind #this is how we get those bullshit ''crying is a manipulation tactic 🥺'' takes #im SICK OF IT !!!!!! everyone use your brain NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#stop assuming everyone is the worst person NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 1 year

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@allvalley100

Prompt: Snake Oil

Pairing: Hawkmetri

Inspired by this shitpost I made forever ago XD You really can have SO much fun with the mlm abbreviation.

This is a 5-parter--500 words total!

***

“Uh…Demetri?”

Demetri pauses frantic texting. His coworker’s leaning on his cubicle wall, frowning.

“I’m on lunch, Gary.”

“I know.” Gary chuckles. “And you’ve spent it glued to your phone instead of devouring your shawarma.”

“Right, uh. Trying to get an old friend out of this MLM…situation.”

“Oh?” Gary’s frown returns.

“We haven’t talked in forever, but…I worry about him. Don’t want him mixed up in that sort of…depraved lifestyle.”

“I see.”

Gary now seems more concerned. Demetri laughs awkwardly, trying to ease the tension. “Pyramid schemes, am I right?”

“Oh, multi-level marketing!” Finally, Gary relaxes. “Thought you were being homophobic.”

*

“He’s always been impressionable. Got brainwashed by this karate cult when we were teenagers, cut me off because I said they were sketchy.”

“He what now?” Gary’s eyes widen.

“Don’t worry about it. Point is, he gets really into questionable stuff, and…he hasn’t listened to me in years.”

A pause.

“Some mean girl from junior high messaged my wife, selling Speed-Gro hair enhancer shampoo,” Gary muses. “Lady sounded pitiful. My wife vowed to free her…even if she did steal her boyfriend in 8th grade.”

Demetri brightens. “Did it work?”

“Probably not a catch-all, but…show me the conversation. We can try.”

*

5:20 p.m. Hawk: Don’t ever speak to me again, or I’ll END you. Go rot in your basement playing nerd bullshit, bitch.

7:47 p.m. Demetri: Fine. Goodbye, Eli. ✔✔ Seen 9:53 p.m., September 24, 2018 ✔✔

-----------------------------------------------

March 17, 2030

7:26 a.m. Hawk: Hey man!! Selling Kickass Karate™️ equipment—gloves, pads, nunchucks…anything!!! INCREDIBLE prices. New discounts, too!

9:41 a.m. Demetri: Hawk! It’s been too long! Why not discuss these awesome deals further over coffee? I’ll pay. You’re giving me your time AND a great opportunity!

9:50 a.m. Hawk: …like a date?

10:02 a.m. Demetri: No, no, strictly business :) Pick you up tomorrow?

*

Eli’s surprisingly pleasant on their da—er, business outing. 0 mentions of Cobra Kai.

Instead, he waxes poetic about working for Kickass Karate™️, and how they’re “totally hiring right now!” He barely notices them parking at Demetri’s apartment because Demetri “forgot his gift card.”

~~~

“The fuck? I’m not getting free coffee?!”

Traces of “Hawk” emerge when Eli finds himself locked in. Demetri accounted for this.

He thrusts a macchiato at Eli as the lights dim. “Ordered them earlier. Hope that’s still your favorite.”

A PowerPoint opener illuminates the TV.

“Demetri’s incredibly badass guide: Besting the dumb pussies scamming you.”

*

“You’ve looked better.” On Wednesday morning, Gary does a double take. “What were you doing with that PTO?!”

Demetri grins meekly, dabbing antiseptic across assorted cuts and bruises. “Eli finally listened about the pyramid scheme thing. He wanted to deal with it immediately.”

“You two…” Gary’s eyes widen. “You fought the guys scamming him? Is that even legal?!”

“Probably not.” Demetri shrugs. “But neither’s most MLM stuff, so…”

“Not true.” Gary smirks. “Not since Obergefell v. Hodges.”

“…fair point.”

“Is that why you have this Eli character openly saved in your phone as ‘Babygirl?’”

Demetri’s cheeks burn. “That’s not important!”

#allvalley100 #hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #elimetri #hawkmetri #hawkmeat #demetri x hawk #eli x demetri #demetri alexopoulos #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #hawk #cobra kai #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #tagging Eli's most-brainwashed-by-a-cult seasons akshuofvgdkh #sadly the boy WOULD be very susceptible to mlm (both varieties)#we stan my man Gary in this household! He's totally straight but he's a top tier ally!#oh to only fall in love with guys who are frighteningly susceptible to karate cult recruitment tactics </3 #Gary: Why does the guy you beat up scammers with call you Babygirl #Demetri: Hey don't worry about it #also yes the implication is very much that Demetri took a whole-ass vacation day #to beat up multi-level marketing scammers with Eli #pour one out for my man Gary he probably has so many questions about how they're not both in jail #the poor man does not realize he is living in the hit karate soap opera tv show Cobra Kai universe

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gothgirlsakura · 11 days

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hello does anybody have any recommendations for songs about hating your friends boyfriend? i am curating a playlist.

#so far i have #stop talking by miya folick #i don't really like your boyfriend by avenue beat #and glad he's gone by tove lo #this is purely for my own amusement dw #this is not a bullying tactic

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cottonfeltgembira · 11 months

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Dates, comedy and identity issues

#not picture here is rei pursing her lips a lot when Madaras present (it's a subtle manipulation tactic)#the subtle manipulation tactic is to get Madara to kiss her #he knows very well what's shes trying to do but gives in anyways anything for his femme boyfriend #enstars #ensemble stars #madara mikejima #rei sakuma #madarei

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sanstropfremir · 1 year

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no bc re:quality for all hybe advertises their groups & their members as 'authentic' 'real' artists they make some of the shallowest stuff in the industry and the fans just eat it up. like, i don't have anything against lsrfm yunjin as a person and she does seem to legitamately want better working conditions for idols but the way she was introduced as "wanting to change the idol industry" and fans will edit together compilations of small coments of her disagreeing w extreme diets and such. like girl she is a part of the system and she doesnt have any real management power. releasing a mediocre song abt idols not meaning doll does not change anything it is at best a toothless criticism and most definitely a marketing gimmick. i dont see anyone forming any labor unions. what r u talking abt.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, but hybe's marketing team is absolutely incredible and if they weren't systematically destroying the industry from the inside out i would be impressed

#like the whole bts as parasocial friends instead of boyfriends thing was a GENIUS tactic but oh god the damage it did #and we all know how i feel about the authenticity thing #hybe w #text #answers

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separatist-apologist · 9 months

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Radiant beam, love of my live, here be this day's Latin notes (also you owe me):

Present: sum, es, est, sumus, estis, sunt

Imperfect: eram, eras, erat, eramus, eratis, erant

Future: ero, eris, erit, erimus, eritis, erunt

Perfect: fui, fuisti, fuit, fuimus, fuistis, fuerunt

Pluperfect: fueram, fueras, fuerat, fueramus, fueratis, fuerant

Future perfect: fuero, fueris, fuerit, fuerimus, fueritis, fuerint

I don't know if people know this about me widely, but when I was lost to academia, I needed a hobby and I also only ever read non-fiction like a total snob. Anyway I was fanboy obsessed with the Roman Empire and have an entire section of my at home library dedicated on the subject (certified Mary Beard fangirl here LMAO).

I just think its neat haha.

#i am also thinking about the roman empire all the time #your boyfriend isnt special (i could be a better boyfriend that him)#I could talk to you about gender roles in rome instead of battle tactics

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piosplayhouse · 2 years

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not to vague but I'm thinking about the time I made a reference to hatoful boyfriend being a horror game disguised as a dating sim and then someone corrected me in the comments saying that doki doki literature club would be a better example like... no . I'm sorry but Doki Doki was an actual fluffy dating sim compared to the shit that goes on in hatobf