#symphony no.5 in c sharp minor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

throwaway-yandere · 6 months

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𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 [Yandere!Dottore/Reader]

a/n: this fic is 100% dedicated to @leftdestiny-posts and they would know just how much they had inspired me in this fic once they finished reading it HAHAHAHAH. P.S.: the classical songs mentioned are actual songs. Yes, the title is half a joke. Here's the spotify playlist if you're curious.

Unreliable Synopsis: You cannot remember your past, but your doctor has been with you every step of the way— and he's more than willing to spend some time with you outside the hospital. Still... did you always have pure white hair?

CW: yandere themes, light body horror, manipulation, its dottore, c'mon LOL.

Concert II "Tristezza Di Fine Anno", performed by the Morespoke Philharmonic with their conductor, Lady Columbina, began nearly an hour ago. And you had the fortune of hearing their songs for yourself.

The well-dressed crowd filled the seats, behaving in what was appropriate for their high station. It was fully booked. The music overwhelmingly masked anyone's breaths, if they had one to start with. Her program can be felt deep in the audience's bones. Rattling them in each sforzando before it lulls down through the sound of her handpicked musicians— with Lady Columbina as the lonesome soloist when the moment calls for it.

"This piece, Symphony No. 5 in C-Sharp Minor, is not Columbina's own making, she had failed to mention that," your company hummed. "This was by another composer who hid behind the name Safed. They were a self-fulling prophecy. Do you wish to know what they said about this piece?"

You said nothing as Zandik— Lord Dottore— stroked your unnaturally "white" hair.

"They said that nobody understood the piece and that they wish they could conduct the first performance five centuries after their death."

Zandik smiled.

"What say you? Do you think those words are true?"

Your company was a tall and thin man with artificially pale-ish skin and wavy blue hair. His eyes were reportedly bloodshot crimson, although you had not received proof of that in this lifetime. But, you were drawn to his deep ocean-like colors, and that was enough to keep you mildly complacent to his strange remarks.

Zandik is surprisingly a considerate man, but he must've brought you with him for a reason. He told you himself that the reason he brought you out of your prison-like hospital room was a mere experiment on his behalf. Paradigm-shifting consequences of his strange social experiments with you are likely to occur, and he cares not for its ethical debates. He won't ask for rhetorics; these to him are tangible outcomes and no questions will be entertained.

All except his.

"I think… "

The composition had a serene, slightly asymmetrical feel to it. You were certain this was Lady Columbina's creative liberties at play. Something about it did not capture its true authenticities. The show purported to narrate three stories: the first concerned a judge who had to find a loved one guilty; the second concerned a prince who drove their beloved into despair; and the final was a tale of a knight who disregarded his obligation to defend a loved one.

But it felt incomplete. As if there was a missing piece— a secret fourth act hiding between the notes and stage.

"A person can't completely mourn for something they would never experience," you told him. "But even so, if I were Safed, I'd feel like my effort would've been a waste."

His eyes remained trained on your hair as you spoke. Zandik seems to dislike it. Unlike his cells mixed with engineered nanomaterials, yours are uniquely… "natural". His hair has a color intensity, whereas yours was the presence of every color— as physics explained it.

"Something they would never experience…" Zandik repeated, tasting the words on his tongue— a smirk etched on his face as though it tasted like bitter irony.

You continued.

"I have a hunch that Safed put everything they worked hard on all their pieces because Lady Columbina wouldn't have performed it otherwise. Since all the songs on the concert's program are marketed as underappreciated compositions, I would… um… infer that they also questioned their works and ultimately themselves if it all had worth in the end. Hopeless for the lack of attention, they probably thought there's more hope if they lived in another generation."

You wanted to say, though you're not sure where this negativity came from, that they probably despised how their well-crafted works were ignored and their sloppy yet significantly more popular compositions angered them.

But you're not Safed. You don't want to put words in their mouth.

".... Hmm, an acceptable hypothesis— a decent one, even," whatever monotonous response Zandik wished to convey, his voice betrayed his grand satisfaction. "Yet I won't give you any confirmation."

"I know."

Zandik laughed.

"The next piece is Norn's Adagio for Strings Op. 11, before the closing Symphony No. 6, better known as Pathétique Symphony, in B Minor Op. 74."

You tilted your head innocently. "Pathetic?"

"Another piece by Safed. It's a Fontaine-translated title. It's originally named pateticheskaya, which meant passionate or emotional, not at all pitiable."

He crossed his arms, insulted as though he was the one who came up with the original title.

"Roughly half a millennium past, the masses attributed Safed's demise to the strains of their final composition, the so-called Pathétique, a mere nine days preceding their exit from this mortal coil. The prevailing narrative spouts a tale of a tragic surrender to the clutches of undiagnosed clinical depression. I find such simplicity in analysis rather pedestrian, wouldn't you agree?"

You took a while to process his inquiry before hesitantly nodding.

"I… I think so."

Zandik smiled.

It's hard to tell if it's genuine, especially when such a protruding mask hides his eyes. Should its existence vanish, you aren't certain you'd see a soul within his pupils either.

"Safed hated this piece, believing it should be cast aside and forgotten. They were living in the woodlands when they wrote it— and when they decided to live with their benefactor, it was suddenly difficult to tear them away from their work."

You nodded to cue that you were still listening.

"They have an incredibly deep connection with their works. One might say they see in tunes rather than color."

You nodded again.

"Your inclination towards a perpetual affirmation of propositions, presumably to veil any potential lacunae in your cognitive purview, does not escape me. It is, if I may be so bold, your agreement that conceals your specter of unfamiliarity, right?"

You rarely understand a word he says when he is in this passionate state. You just nod as if you knew.

"Adorable," Zandik chuckled.

His voice was chillingly low yet… comforting.

"Your sincerity constitutes an enchanting facet of your comportment."

He had to be teasing you.

"Although…" Zandik grabbed a few locks of your hair as though it was slimy and unpleasant— quickly retracting them with a disapproving tilt. "You could stand to utilize more (h/c) hair dyes. How is it conceivable that it has returned to white yet again?"

You opened your mouth but Zandik raised a finger.

"No. I am the scholar here. Do not answer."

You giggled. "Understood, Doctor."

He grinned, inadvertently showing off his pointed canines.

"What a good test subject you are, my dear (Y/n)."

Whether good was a subjective or objective assessment or not was up to interpretation.

The mid-concert intermission began, allowing Lady Columbina's pressured musicians a 20-minute sigh of relief. Zandik ushered you to the back where the Lady Harbinger reposed on a white sofa, her cheek brushing a visibly soft and cloud-like pillow. The bright backstage lighting made her seem ethereal.

She looked like heaven, but Zandik would argue that "(Y/n)" is the true epitome of the word.

"Greetings. As expected, you'd initiate conversation at the earliest convenience." She cooed. "You look younger today, Doctor."

"You know very well that I do not take that as a compliment, Columbina." Zandik scoffed. "How many times will we rehearse this canned script until it is a learned lesson?"

"Perhaps it shall end on the day you refrain yourself from recreating… perspectives."

"Since my encounter with the Dendro Archon, I have not revisited that notion."

Columbina's gentle smile dropped coldly. "You know that your segments are not what I am referring to."

You looked back and forth between the two. Each of them was a distinctively unique person and it's a challenge to take your eyes away from the other.

Hence, when you felt Lady Columbina's eyes on you, you shook and straightened yourself before bowing stiffly.

"G-Greetings, Lady Columbina!!!"

Her gentle smile resurfaced.

"Greetings to you as well, dear Safed."

You blinked.

Dottore clicked his tongue, and Columbina laughed softly.

"Apologies, I meant to say (Y/n)— that is the name you go by in this era of humanity, right?"

You'd rightfully claim that between the three of you, you were the most human. Zandik has his clones, Columbina's origins are of strict secrecy, and you are a mere amnesiac patient. But the way she addressed you was sounding awful like stripping you away with that sense of humane identity.

"Yes? I guess?"

Columbina delightedly buzzed in your reply. "(Y/n)— truly a lovely name. That must mean that you're very healthy! It warms my heart to hear that name again. The other ones had terribly dull names, but if the Doctor had given you this title, then it must mean his research is finally drawing to a close."

Her remarks made little sense. You know little about yourself and trust only the Doctor's judgment. Should you trust her words, then it must mean (Y/n) isn't your real name…

But… that doesn't seem right either.

"Not quite, the name deserves no celebration," Dottore replied happily. "I merely ran out of translations. Bianco, Wit, Bái— what else is there? Ancient Natlan?"

"Scientists truly make for terrible poets— Why not try Inazuman?" Columbina offered.

Those words must have had a heavy weight to them because Zandik pondered for much longer than expected.

"Hmm. I'll keep that in mind," Zandik muttered. "Although it is preferable it does not have to reach that point."

"May I ask why did you bring them here?" Columbina asked.

"It's a bit of an unconventional experiment, but I've been exploring how to elicit positive associations with certain stimuli. Exposing them to music as I accompany them should cause them to associate the emotional response it elicits with being around me." Dottore hummed. "It would be asinine to put them in a chaotic yet controlled environment such as a theme park. While a racing heart may be effective, I shouldn't risk a (Y/n)'s well-being by subjecting them to roller coasters."

"Are you sure you're not the scared one?" You asked cheekily. Zandik rolled his eyes.

She shook her head.

"What a roundabout way of saying you're taking them out on a concert date…"

Columbina looked at you once more.

"Oh, but (Y/n), you appear unwell, my dear…" she pointed at stage left. "Why don't you fix yourself up in the nearest restroom?"

Dottore raised an eyebrow, which made you want to decline Columbina.

"I'm r-really okay, Lady Colum—"

"I insist."

Columbina smiled wider. Her laced mask cast a gloomy shade on her visage.

You had no other choice.

"O… Okay."

The halls that led to the restroom were mostly empty. Perhaps it was due to Lady Columbina's performance that made them patiently await the next song.

But there was one young man you encountered along the way. He had blonde half-way braided hair and purple-ish eyes. You paid him no mind as he circled a small rectangular paper, likely the concert's ticket, between his fingers. However, within a second, that paper vanished.

You stopped in your tracks and looked at him curiously, wondering if your eyes played tricks. He laughed, noting your attention.

"Ah! Sorry," he cheerfully gestured a small wave. "Didn't mean to practice in public."

The blonde man approached you with a smile.

"You're #9805, right?"

Immediately, you both got on the wrong foot.

Your nose scrunched, "I prefer (Y/n)."

The man flinched. "Oh, yikes! I'm not making the best first impression— nice to meet you (Y/n)! I have something for you."

You thought he was handing you his concert ticket for a moment but when you took a good look, it was a grayscale brochure.

And a white tulip…

"Um…"

"Needless to say, I'm something of a—"

"Trickster?"

"Magician, but an astute guess nonetheless!" He laughed sheepishly. "I was waiting for you, I thought you wouldn't go to the restroom."

So, did Lady Columbina plan this?

You caressed the binding and skimmed through the pages. "What's this for?"

"Father said you might be interested in its contents," the young man said. "That's all."

You blinked.

"... Are you saying you missed out most of the concert just to hand me this?"

He laughed awkwardly again. "My dear sister says I have a habit of missing a hint of romanticism when it counts, so I guess today's just one of those moments."

"Did you not like the music?" You scoffed, temper rising.

"Did you hate the composition? Did you not understand the e-emotion behind the chords? Don't you understand just how d-disrespectful that was?!"

"Woah, woah, I didn't say any of that." His eyes widened.

He didn't expect your voice to crack.

"I'm so sorry if you're offended— are you one of the original composers?"

…

You took a deep breath.

… Why were you mad?

… Why did it feel like those songs mean more to you than meets the eye?

"Sorry, I just…" You shook your head. "I guess I'm not feeling well. Oh, no, I'm so SO sorry…"

An unknown part of you thrived to hear him praise the music. That same part pitied the composer who worked day and night to perfect their piece. It's an ugly voice, but it was sincere.

… What was wrong with you? Why did you suddenly lash out? What was going on?

"Oh, well there's no need to be sorry then." The blonde man took his hat off and bowed.

"Farewell, Mx. (Y/n)!" He grinned. "The greatest magician in all Teyvat will take his leave. Thank you for your time!"

With the sway of his dark cape, he disappeared.

You entered the restroom to wash your face. It didn't do much to soothe your nerves. The lingering dread for your strange emotional mood swing remained.

To distract yourself, you read through the article.

The Enigmatic Legacy of Composer Safed

In the annals of musical history, few figures emerge as enigmatic and hauntingly captivating as the orchestral composer, Safed. Born five centuries ago amidst the ancient woodlands of Sumeru, this ethereal musician seemingly materialized from Vanarama with no familial relations.

Huh… So it's about the one who wrote the previous compositions earlier.

No wonder that blonde man asked if you were one of the composers. He was being a smartass.

A Fiery Finale: The Pathétique Symphony

Legend has it that in their final act of emotional expression, Safed penned the "Pathétique Symphony," a composition so emotionally charged that, overwhelmed with disdain for their creation, they purportedly set ablaze their woodland home. Seeking solace and escape, Safed accepted the benevolent offer of a city-dwelling benefactor.

…

Safed… burned down their house?

No…

No, that's not how you remembered that.

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

That's not what happened. "Safed" didn't burn their house down.

Suddenly, you stilled. Your thoughts ran wild, but your inner rationale tried to force them to a halt. This peak in anxiety did not make sense.

… Why would an amnesiac like you know what happened?

A Swansong: Il Dottore's Beneficence

Their benefactor, now celebrated as our Lord Harbinger, Il Dottore, welcomed Safed into the city's heart. It was here that the truth unfolded: Safed had been grappling with hearing loss for years, an affliction that fueled their artistic brilliance yet cloaked them in a muffled world. They were unaware of their disability, yet thrived in their field.

…

Wait…

Before you began to read the final paragraph in Safed's brochure, you hurriedly went back to Dottore and the composer's vintage photographed portraits.

After seeing their face, you dropped the brochure in the restroom's sink.

You saw their face.

You saw YOUR face and Zandik's.

But not quite. That was you, but at the same time, it wasn't. Zandik looked stiff in those photos with "you", likely a product of the time since Kamera photography was used only in rare formalities that required a bit of dress up. But the "you" you saw was sickly way beyond the formal costumes. They had (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair, but yours were all white.

White…

Safed… That's the Sumeru translation for white, isn't it?

Bianco, Wit, Bái— they're all translations for "white", aren't they? And if Dottore and Columbina's earlier conversations were to go by, the one after you would be named Shiro.

…

The one… after you?

"Tut tut."

You trembled at the familiar sound.

You slowly turned your head around and there he was, leaning against the restroom door.

"You were in the restroom for too long. It appears my suspicions were not unfounded."

Without waiting for a response, he approached with large strides. His gloved hands seized your stressed shoulders. The grip tightened harshly as he forced you to meet his intense gaze. Blood trailed from the corner of your mouth, and your anxiety heightened. He angrily bared his sharp teeth as he watched it stain his gloves.

And yet Zandik looks…

Sad.

And distressed.

He pressed his earpiece.

"Test Subject #9805 exhibits troubling symptoms. Hematemesis suggests a severe physiological response. Persistent manifestations of albinism in ocular and follicular pigmentation indicate underlying deformities. Immediate isolation is warranted for the researcher and subject's well-being."

His hand was cold. Skin imbued with silver nanomaterials after several operations, reminiscent of the age-old philosophical question: "Is it still the same ship if you gradually replace all of its parts?"

Then Zandik did something unexpected.

He dropped his hold and you prepared yourself by shutting your eyes as he swung his arm.

To hug you.

"I'm sorry, I have failed you again, (Y/n)," Zandik muttered. "I should not have raised my expectations."

"W… What? Why are you putting me in isolation?" You asked, rattled. "What have I done?! I just— I didn't do anything wrong! What did I—"

He shifted, dragging your arm to hug him back as though you were a little girl's doll. Zandik rested his head on your shoulder, shaking slightly.

"In your innocence, no fault lies. I thought I had accomplished what I had set out to do, and met unfulfilled expectations" Zandik gritted his teeth, voice somber. "Despite centuries of refinement, it appears that I still have room for improvement in perfecting the process… I was right. This deserves no celebration."

The doctor laughed sadly.

"When will I ever be proven wrong?" He asked himself as he wiped the blood off the corner of your lips.

He pulled away, pecking your forehead.

"I'm sorry."

Those were not the words you expected from his mouth, and yet you heard it more than once. I'm sorry. It does not fit his character, nor does the tender yet cold hug he had given prior.

You're scared. You're terrified. You know what was bound to come. You know what awaits you. White walls. Silence. Separation.

Solitary.

Far from a choice. Far from negotiable.

There's no amnesty.

And yet, the words flowed from you naturally.

"... I forgive you."

You have no idea why you said what you said. There's no certainty that you believed your own words. Zandik's lip twitched downward.

"You should not," Zandik croaked. "Why? Why must you always forgive and accept my selfishness? Do you derive satisfaction in seeing me in this state?!"

You opened your mouth to answer but were stopped abruptly as he grabbed your hair.

Zandik had always favored you compared to other patients. You know this very well. He's an evil man and the list of actions he had done that had harmed you in the name of science is at least two pages long upon your awakening. Yet, you were sure he liked you enough for he told you of his new exciting experiments. He scolded you when you left his research institute for fresh air. And he would hold your hand whenever you dreaded those thick injections.

You just didn't know he had it in him to fold from his intimidating facade just to kiss you like a desperate man.

Breathless under his control, he softly pressed his lips against yours. His lips were chapped and cold, and he took you in gently as though he'd break you. Zandik, as strange as it was, still seemed to prioritize your comfort over his needs. Normally, this tension would've made him so short-tempered. But this will be your last interaction. The doctor tasted your blood in his mouth, and he was nauseous at the thought of hurting you more. But he stopped. Even though he wishes to force all his pent-up desires onto you. Even though he wanted to love you thoroughly that you'd forget your name again.

Zandik whimpered quietly as he pulled away— sounding like a dog that would not sleep that night. What was left in between was a thin disappearing line of saliva and blood that quickly broke off.

The doctor should be happy he finally got to have a proper date with you after 9805 failed attempts.

But he's not content.

He was about to lean in for the second time but stopped himself. Selfish. To think he nearly saw you two finally walking down the aisle. Why was he always so selfish when it came to you? But those rhetorics mattered not in your head.

You were silenced. You were held.

You were loved.

"No." Zandik breathed in, laughing humorlessly. "No— I am the scholar here. Don't answer."

And you will be disposed of.

"Take them away." He spoke to his men calmly. They had entered long enough to witness what he had done. The men did not hesitate to grab you, thinking Dottore thought you no more than a mere toy.

But calm was deceptive. It does not convey the distress that chokes him.

Maybe…

Maybe in the 9806's trial… he'll have you as he always wanted.

The Fatuus that escorted you in was gentle. A silent guide. The expression on her face was clear that she wanted to extend her apologies as well but mustn't.

You already have a white tulip in hand.

Arlecchino already sended her regards in advance.

When she opened the door by tapping a card against the lock, she bowed her head. You let yourself enter without a fight. The room was pure white with the rest of the furniture matching the drapes. But Dottore didn't just provide the necessities. There were books, sketch pads, and other recreational materials.

As you were about to approach the center, something was off on both sides.

You looked to your left.

Two clear mirrors divided your room from the others. There's a sign on the left wall. Code #4135.

You stood, shocked, grieving at the sight of your predecessor. They were a mirror of you but with a different name— and an even worse state.

One had made a slight sound coming off their skin— rotting slightly. There's a tube connected to their mouth and you could see yourself— you could see them dripping. They had your face. Their hair and eyes were white. The nose was gone, leaving a gaping hole. Their neck was cricked back at an unnatural angle. You don't know if they're still breathing. They're still bleeding. They must've bitten off their tongue.

There's a lone white blanket that covers the rest of them.

You think they might be dead.

You think "you" might've died more than once.

THUD!

You jolted at the sound coming from the wall behind you. Upon seeing their body, you froze.

Code #032.

They were but a head. You wish you could only focus on that aspect, but you looked lower and your hair raised. They cannot feel the same, for they were almost only a spine left. The rest of them were their skeletal frame, guided by thin lines one can barely call flesh.

Their head banged against the mirror. The thought that the sound was what made you flinch earlier made you unwell.

They seem to be telling you something. Their breath fogged up the glass and their thinned white hair splayed across your view. Their mouth said something urgently you couldn't comprehend because their tongue was paper-like in size.

#032 was shaking. Their pain grew vivid in every movement that the room was starting to spin. You sensed their turmoil.

They looked like death.

You all looked like death itself, both the pretty and ugly ends of it.

"Don't." You whispered, begging as you knelt to their level. "You don't have to speak."

You laughed deprecatingly.

"We're not the scholar here. He is."

In every syllable, you saw the outline of their esophagus strain. The nerves were blueish purple. The little skin they have left on their cheeks is sunken. Their lips were gnawed, likely as a response to the pain they'd gone through previously. Fists of bone tapped against the glass, and you quivered, imagining their pain.

You were not afraid of them. You only mourned their anguish. In fact, you feel at ease to be in the presence of yourself from the past.

It reminded you of what "Safed" had allegedly spoken years ago.

Nobody understood the pieces you made and you wished you could conduct the first performance five centuries after your first death.

And now, here you are.

Seeing two "people" who do understand you.

And they share your face.

"Pathetically", the only one that can understand you is yourself.

You're all flies trapped in a web that the predator refuses to wrap and consume out of pity. Compared to the others, you looked fine.

But your lungs were blistering.

Despite their deathly ill and mutilated bodies, you were the one bound to die soon enough.

His experiments worked.

You love him.

You love Zandik.

And how tragic it was that the person who learned how to love him was doomed to perish.

In your last minutes, you recalled something vital:

As an outsider, your body was not meant for this world, but after encountering the woodland creatures and Zandik, it became tremendously difficult to part ways with it.

You coughed up yet again with a gentle smile on your face. Maybe you're not dying…

Maybe you're just returning home, for every atom in your multiple bodies was once part of the galaxy.

You are (Y/n) (L/n).

And you were not from Teyvat.

Much like the rest of the descenders, you have a quirk about you that sets you apart from the norm. For the travelers the world reveres today, it was their distinct determination and questionable age that was remarkable. Yours slightly titters to an inhuman level.

You can "clone" yourself.

Zandik and the "original" you wouldn't phrase it in that manner, but it's the easiest way to describe your talents.

"So, it is cloning." Zandik paused. "Mind letting me in on the science behind the process?"

He was an ordinary student when you both met. Far from a doctor, but at least he was a registered scholar in the Akademiya. Zandik didn't have an eloquent tongue as he does in the present, yet his curiosity burned all the same.

Which is why, back then, you thought his questions were cute.

Not dangerous.

"It's not that I can make copies of myself without consequences," you humored with a grin. "I'm just making… fragments of myself. Segments, if you prefer to call it that. It's a common ability for the people back in my world. None of us do it excessively— especially since we're kind of an invasive species."

Zandik raised an eyebrow, "is that a commendable trait?"

"My kind says so. Whether good is a subjective or objective assessment or not is up to interpretation." You answered noncommittedly. "I don't think that's right. Our soul splits apart until we're just… empty. We lose some memories in the process."

"But functioning?"

"In a sense, yeah, but we lose a part of ourselves like memories and well, hair color, I guess." You nodded. "Why are you so curious?"

"Since you have rejected my confession, I want to try my hand at seducing a copy of yours instead," Zandik said. You couldn't tell whether he was joking with his naturally piercing red eyes. "Until then, you are not allowed to asexually reproduce without my authorization. Understood?"

You laughed. Unaware of his arsonist crimes, you willingly indulged his words.

"I owe you my ears, so it's only right that I'll listen to your commands, Zandik."

"Good." Zandik grinned, shark-like.

"What a good test subject you are, (Y/n)."

Centuries later, that closing sentence will continue to remain true.

Since then, his life has changed. Multiplied, even. Upon studying your genetic makeup, he found ways to duplicate himself as well. Despite his feats in science, Zandik remained unhappy.

Deep down, all the Harbingers pity the Doctor who cannot save his most loved one. That includes both Columbina and Arlecchino.

No one protests even when harmful orders are given; everything appears fine until the symptoms are felt. Because the organism— the astral descender— has no nerves or voice, he continues to assume that the patient is not in pain.

The patient needs peace but because they are not to speak, they remain silent, and the need persists.

The patient wants to eat and breathe fresh air, but because such desires might hurt the feelings of the doctor who thinks he has done everything needed, the patient remains quiet, contemplating desires out of fear of reprimand.

The original (Y/n) (L/n) suffers in silence. In a white room only accessible by a man who continues to nurse his unrequited love: Zandik.

No one else can enter this room.

He won't allow it. Only he can be obsessed with you.

The thought of you haunts him like a smiling reflection upon window panes— like a gift of a Trojan horse with nothing but your echoing laughter and hospital monitor beeps inside. Your thin limbs were marching clock hands with rusted gears that miraculously function till the end of time.

What is immortality for if every day was a death loop?

It is such a lonely concept…

You ought to be thankful that he's willing to be your eternal company.

"I endeavored to elicit a reciprocation of my sentiments from the latest subject. Regrettably, their discovery of my antecedent experiments transpired prematurely. Nevertheless, as asserted several times, it remains but a temporal inevitability until an iteration of yourself succumbs to having an interest towards me." Dottore hummed.

He held your feet.

He held Test Subject #01's feet.

If you spoke up, he would've bragged about how he was right. How people do love your songs. But no one knows if you can't or won't answer him. This one-sided conversation is the punishment for his hubris.

He took out a sharp knife and cut off one of your toes. You no longer feel any pain as you bleed into his hands. What a kind man the doctor is, for he blocked all your pain receptors years ago. It's a good thing you regenerate quickly.

That's what he loved and hated about you.

You only gave and gave.

But you never ran out of soul. You never ran your heart fully dry— and that left you ill. Zandik could never let you go.

You're already a part of him.

Hence, he must not make clones of exaggerated memories. He wanted your perfect yet healthy replica.

Praise be the white corpuscles extracted from your veins which had brought him new life. You were the reason for his research. You were the breath that gave his segments life. You were his muse, much like he was yours.

"Fear not, (Y/n)," he reassured with a measured tone. "Upon my mastery of the arts, I intend to reinstate your autonomy and awareness. Perhaps then, you shall find the organic inclination to reciprocate affection toward me by the 9806's trial. Until then…"

In other words, give him more time and he'll reinvent love.

He leaned his forehead against yours.

"I'm so, so sorry."

And ultimately, he'll reinvent YOU.

"Can I have another piece of your scalp?"

"No."

"Do you not understand the weight of this research or must I expound on it further in another three-hour presentation?"

"Alternatively, you could start by saying that you're sorry," you raised an eyebrow. "I'm still not over the fact you randomly cut a piece of my ear when I was asleep, doctor. You know, I heard from the aranaras that white tulips are given to someone when they ask for forgiveness."

Zandik smirked.

"Regrettably, it seems that such an occurrence is unlikely to transpire. Do not expect such words and gifts from me."

You smiled.

"We'll see, we'll see."

Taglist (pls notify if you wish to be on the taglist for the last two): @average-yandere-enjoyer @pix-stuff @sagekun @vennnnn-diagram @dilucragnidvr @tnsophiaonly @lsleepysimpl

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haveyouheardthisband · 12 days

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#Romanticism #Symphony #1880s #1890s #1900s #Czechia #Austria #poll #Spotify

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symphonybracket · 4 months

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#if it seems like im crafting increasingly specific questions to manipulate people into a mahler sweep that is in fact what im doing #i have to say however i do think the slow mvmts of both borodin 2 and price 1 beat mahler 5 #borodin 2 is my absolute fav slow mvmt #classical music #Spotify

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best-habsburg-monarch · 5 months

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*Liszt. I can't edit polls, so just pretend the typo isn't there

Franz Liszt (1811-1886):

Johann Strauss the Younger (1825-1899):

Gustav Mahler (1860-1911):

Antonín Dvořák (1841-1904):

#bonus round #best habsburg bracket #composers 2: Now they have pictures instead of paintings #and they aren't all Austrian #ignore the typo I just noticed and I can't edit polls

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cervviidae · 28 days

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The song playing during this scene adds so many layers of tragedy, echoing the same heartache and beauty that accompanied the song that played during Hannibal's first visit to Will in prison at the end of season 1. It encapsulates the turmoil within Hannibal, the confluence of romance and despair once you grasp the depth of the deception. It’s both achingly sorrowful and profoundly lovely.

The notes are a honeyed trap, drawing them both into a moment of raw connection, each with their masks set aside, unguarded in the shared solitude of their company. Even though betrayal looms, the song suggests a fragile peace, like the tentative bloom of flowers in a desolate place, or the first gentle throb of a heart rediscovering safety. Hannibal feels an almost giddy relief, as if someone finally sees him for who he truly is, not banished or condemned, but understood.

The music stirs sensations akin to falling in love, its melancholic beauty carving a space in the heart where longing and tenderness coexist. Each note holds the pulse of an impossible hope, like the bittersweet awareness that even a fleeting connection can seem eternal when it fills a void so long ignored. Hannibal is a man who prides himself on seeing through facades, yet in this moment, he allows himself to believe in a lie, to trust the brief sanctuary of a kindred spirit. He lets himself feel, if only for an instant, what it's like to be loved. 🙁

#hannibal nbc #hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannigram #will graham #i’m yapping #i’m crying #this show has ruined me

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anamizuiro · 5 months

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Matching IkeVamp suitors with classical pieces that likes to invade my brain

Was browsing more classical music to listen to but then I remember I used to get bits of IkeVamp brainrot listening so this list has cometh to be.

Characters Listed: The Residents, William, Vlad and His Minions.

Author Note: why does the bad guys always get the banger ones when it comes to music istg... also did you know? I was about to put Dies Irae (Mozart) in Charles' list before i changed my mind but decided to give it to Vlad instead because i like the vibe (except I gave Vlad Verdi's Requiem of Dies Irae instead because apparently there is another piece titled Dies Irae).

Napoleon

Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy

Arabesque No. 1 by Claude Debussy

Toreador March/Les Toreador by Georges Bizet (specifically that part.)

Vlad

Prelude in C Sharp Minor by Rachmaninoff

Four Seasons, Winter by Antonio Vivaldi

Moonlight Sonata, 3rd Movement by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (early composition) and Franz Xaver Süssmayr (finishes the rest of the piece) (Mozart was unable to finish composing this piece because he passed away. So the person who commissioned this piece hired his student to finish it. Source: Google)

Fantaisie Impromptu by Frederic Chopin

Verdi's Requiem Dies Irae by Verdi

Arthur

Habanera from Carmen Suite by Georges Bizet

Por Una Cabeza Tango by Carlos Gardel

La Campanella by Liszt

Vincent

Peer Gynt, Morning Mood by Edvard Grieg

Four Seasons, Spring by Antonio Vivaldi

Nocturne Op 9 No. 2 by Frederic Chopin

Minuet in G Major by Christian Petzold (said to be attributed to Bach)

Theodorus

Tristesse by Frederic Chopin

Nocturne in C Sharp Minor (No. 20) by Frederic Chopin

Shakespeare

Nessun Dorma by Giacomo Puccini

The Swan/Le Cygne by Saint-Saens

Fur Elise by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Leonardo

Bouree in E Minor by Johann Sebastian Bach

Minuetto in G by Luigi Boccherini

Comte de Saint-Germain

Cello Suite No. 1 : Prelude in G by Johann S. Bach

The Nutcracker Suite, The Waltz of The Flowers by Tchaikovsky

Aquarium by Saint-Saens

Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1 by Edward Elgar

Jazz Suite No. 2: VII. Waltz No. 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich

Danse Macabre by Saint-Saens

Mozart

Symphony No. 10 in G Minor: I. Molto Allegro by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (basically his own piece)

Hungarian Dance No. 5 by Johannes Brahms

Charles-Henri

the Nutcracker Suite: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy by Tchaikovsky

Gymnopedie No. 1 by Erik Satie

Funeral March by Frederic Chopin

Faust

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor by Johann Sebastian Bach (i'm so sorry it just fits him)

O Fortuna : Carmina Burana by Carl Orff

Symphony No. 5 by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Jean

Moonlight Sonata, 1st Movement by Ludwig Van Beethoven

Airs a faire fuir by Erik Satie

Valse Triste by Jean Sibelius

Dazai

Blue Danube by Johann Strauss II

Sleeping Beauty Waltz by Tchaikovsky

Tales of Hoffman, Barcarolle by Offenbach

Isaac

Flight of The Bumblebee by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

Cradle Song AKA Lullaby by Johannes Brahms

Air on the G String by Johann S. Bach

Sebastian

Rondo Alla Turca by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Eine Kleine by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Symphonies de Fanfares : Rondeau by Jean Joseph Mouret

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp charles #ikevamp comte #ikevamp faust #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp sebastian

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timmymyluv · 2 years

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Still Want You

dad!laurie

laurie laurence x pregnant march!sister reader

my masterlist

warnings: pregnancy sex, mutual masterbation, oral (m/f receiving), mentions of sexist victorian etiquette/rules, fingering

summary: laurie laurence adores you even at your most vulnerable, heavily pregnant with his first born and not feeling your best.

word count: 2.0k words

notes: surprise! this was not on my wip or even on my radar when i posted that wip update but this was meant to just be a writing exercise from a random prompt but i’m in love with this! really glad to be writing again and do what makes my soul sing. again please enjoy this, reblog and comment.

taglist: @blackqueenstarseed1 @softhecreator @ohmysw33 @imnotoverlyobsessive @mondieumat @chanotel @starberry-cake @timotheel0ver @chalametsimp @hellomadamebutterfly @themonsterheloved @chal-latte @s-we-e-t-t-ea @zelleriz @strawberriescherrieskiwi @fangirl125reader @xoxoloverb @us3rd1stort1on @thebetawolfgirl @chelseamendes99 @yomidebby @esmaada @princessandtheflea @thestarsaregivenonceonly @meetmyothersouls @simp4timmy @davidxhollander @n0r1k0 @peachymetimmy @fadingpieclodalien @gatoenlaciudad @tchalamet13 @twoforonee @ailee-celeste @livlovelaughh @iuwjwdhq222 @rmiswift @beautifulblack0920

“Did the baby just kick you?” You squeaked excitedly as Laurie stared at you in surprise with wide eyes, his warm palms never leaving your abdomen.

Swollen ankles, sore limbs dominated your days as life blossomed within you. To your darling husband however, you were glowing more strikingly than ever.

Ever since you have become husband and wife, you have transformed into a completely innocent, oblivious stranger to the entanglements of the flesh with your caring spouse more than willing to indulge in you wholly and selflessly.

Introducing you to pleasures and sensations that you could only dream of, it was only sooner or later before the inevitable of a child growing in your belly was to become reality.

With his ostensibly perpetual trust fund and inheritance allowing him every whim and freedom, your planned two-week honeymoon extended into a few months across Europe without any responsibilities calling him back home to the American continent.

By the time you had returned to New England, having left in the dawn of summer and returning in the late spring, your symptoms of lightheadedness, nausea were confirmed by a head doctor from the capital that Laurie’s grandfather insisted that his granddaughter-in-law only deserved the best.

If you felt that you were looking and feeling your worst, the love of your life would tirelessly, eagerly complement you and give in to your every whim and desire.

“I have swelled like a whale, Laurie. How could you want me still when I look like this?” You pout, wiping the sweat off your brow as you sat down clumsily with a hand over your belly.

“That is nonsense, my dear wife. On the contrary, I desire you more than ever. If you will ever let me show you that-” Laurie shakes his head with a teasing smile, his eyes shining with a blend of lust and adoration, raising his brow suggestively, before you jokingly push him away by the shoulder.

You wanted nothing more than to give in to his temptation, the feeling of his lush lips against where your neck meets your shoulders, an electrifying jolt down your spine of want and desire that numbs the discomfort and pain pregnancy has given you over the past few months.

You squeak weakly as you press your palms on his chest for support, his wandering hands fluttering from the curves of your side, your breasts and hips that have grown and flourished much to his delight, and reeling in the enhanced softness of your flesh that was only brought upon by the child growing in your bosom.

“Is it not wrong for a pregnant wife for me to engage in such frivolity when she is already with child? Will we not be frowned upon that you give such attention to the pleasures of the flesh not only to yours, but always satisfy mine? Is this not only meant for an act of procreation-” Laurie’s face drops in concern and worry, pausing his escapes in worshiping your body to frame your face, cupping your cheeks with calloused hands as he looks you right in the eye.

“My rose, who has planted such ridiculous things into your mind like so? Yes, that is what proper society demands of man and wife, but we are not like them, remember? It pains me for you to believe that you deserve paltry, baseline treatment when I want to adore you, cherish you, worship you like the goddess you are. “ Peppering kisses from your forehead down to your nose, the apples of your cheeks as tears start to fall from your eyes, he manages to appease at least a giggle from your form.

“There you go, my girl. If you allow me, I want to make a temple of your body just like I always have. The mere fact that our love making has resulted in a child, a wonderful blessing from God who is half you and half me only makes me want you more.” His fingers hovered over the lace of your corset, fortunately much looser than typical fashion expected in order to make room for your growing belly, and waited for a willing nod from you.

You reach forward for a passionate kiss on his lips as far as your belly can allow your torsos to touch, sliding off his obsidian coat of his slender arms and leaving him in the fine, pure white chemise you always adored on him.

Desperate moans from him only urge you further, smirking in how drunk he is in his lust, his want and desperation for you. Reaching and digging into you like a distant treasure he seeks but cannot find, yet he is always yours and you are always for him for the taking.

The laces of the corset are set loose and falls down the ground unceremoniously, in which you step out of and kick away carelessly, too consumed by dragging your tongue around his neck and collarbones.

The buttons of his dress shirt pop open with your joint effort, as you both lean towards the plush mattress of your joint bedroom. He carefully undresses your fine dress he had personally tailored for you by one of the top designers in Europe, remembering how much you adored this colour on your skin tone and wanted to save it for the future.

Left only in your undergarments, he pulls down his trousers and leaving himself bare for you to revere before raising the translucent cream undergarment that left nothing to the imagination as you lift your arms to assist him.

Laurie steps away to drink in your figure with hunger, licking his lips and his eyes exploring around you wildly as your heart thumps so loud you can hear your heartbeat, brushing your thighs together to satisfy the warmth growing underneath.

“Look at you, my darling. Pregnancy agrees with you, look how our love has created a life. How your body has transformed to make room for our child, how your breasts have grown and already produce milk, your hips widened, your limbs filled in, your skin glowing - I must have you and I cannot believe I am so lucky to have you.” He reaches down trailing kisses around your neck before leaning in feverishly to suck on your nipples while fondling the other breast with kneading hands, eliciting a pitched whine from you.

Giving the same attention to the other breast, you tangle your fingers into his curls. He sucks delicately to your under breast and down your sternum before pressing his ear curiously to your belly, smiling warmly before he gently pushes you down the mattress with so much care like you were made of glass and going to break easily.

He ravishes you into another all-consuming kiss in which you battle your tongue with his feverishly, opening your legs wide and playing with your clit and mound between your legs that radiates a delicious moan from your husband, eyes rolling behind his eyes in intoxication.

“I want you to play with yourself, my dove.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes, please.”

Teddy admires you with adoring eyes, before reaching down to toy with his shaft, using the precum already settling from his tip and base, crying your name captivatingly like a prayer. You plunge another finger in your head and cannot control the squeals that come from your mouth has you increase your speed.

Suddenly, he joins your fingers in your heat and moan so loudly as the wave of dizziness overcomes you, so entrenched in the lush haze he has brought you into without warning. Leaning forward to pinch your clit before he sucks it in with his own mouth and teeth, he licks and indulges in your mound like a starved man.

From your head to your toes, you feel the string in your belly pull apart and yanked, a dream like state that has you flying and splattering all the stars in the sky as it becomes all haziness and bright lights in your vision.

Your fingers joined with his and his mouth erupts into your orgasm, releasing into his mouth and all over both your fingers. Laurie kisses your clit once more before he smouches you, your metallic taste on his tongue causing you to moan once more.

Panting and catching your breath from your orgasm, he smooths your hair and pecks your forehead before he moves down to line up with your core, but you stop him with a grasp on his wrist.

“Do you not want to go on, my love? I can stop at any time if you are uncomfortable or hurting the baby?”

“No, no - I want you in my mouth.”

“Darling, it would only strain you for you to get on your knees. What if it injures our child?”

Sliding your head down towards the edge of the bed, he watches you curiously as you tuck a pillow underneath your head and wait patiently with an open mouth.

“You can take me like this, hovering over me while I lie down.” He swears lustily as he climbs towards you, knees between your head and brushing against your ears, earning a chuckle from you as it slightly tickles you.

Reaching forward with shaky, impatient hands as you stroke his length, earning a sharp inhale from him as he lines up against your mouth, feeling your warm cavern and your lips, inch by inch until your nose hits his pubic bone and you moan in delight.

The salty taste of his shaft as he slowly rises above you, relenting in a regimented, reluctant pace. Muttering and groaning in vulgar phrases, Laurie picks up a pace with tightly shut eyes and warm, rosy cheeks as his thrusting turns quick and frenzied. As you join your fingers around his cock and massage his lower abdomen before he floods your mouth with his warm, viscous release.

Gathering his breath with his forehead resting against the headboard, he pulls out from your mouth and smothers his palms all over your spent body. Tracing a line down your arms, pinching your nipples between his fingers, slurping and licking your belly button, he takes another pillow and puts it gently underneath your lower back.

“Is this comfortable, my angel?”

“Mmm.” You purr dreamily, supporting your belly as you spread your knees as wide as possible.

His large hands clenching your ankles, Laurie convulsed deftly into you, earning a piquant wail from your shaking form. He groans as he watches where you meet, joined into one without any thought of the outside world. You only felt him in your veins, in your joints, in your soul, merged together. He was the only thing you could see, feel, taste, touch - you wanted nothing more than this. If there was ever a heaven, you found it.

He releases into you ,holding your legs up to your chest, spread wide to not squish your protruding stomach. Laurie rests his head against your belly, embracing your bump and hands circled around your waist as he relishes in skin to skin contact with his wife and unborn child.

“I never thought you could become even more beautiful than ever, my dear. Yet you have, you always do, day by day. No words can do it justice. How you create this life with such grace, such strength. I cannot love and thank you enough.”

Beaming with so much joy you feel you cannot smile any wider, you massage his scalp and tug on his curls in a manner only you know he adores, he relish in the physical touch that brings fire to your loins, brings you more life than you ever have felt before.

Your child, will they have his eyes? Or your temperament? What about his curls? None of that mattered when they were all so close to you, skin to skin, feeling the warmth of his flesh against yours, breathing so slowly, as if a reminder he was real and fully alive in front of you.

“And I adore you too, Theodore Laurence. You have been the most wonderful husband, and you will be just as marvelous as a father.”

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aschenblumen · 1 month

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youtube

Gustav Mahler, Symphony nº 5 in C sharp minor (Adagietto). Leonard Bernstein, director

#gustav mahler #symphony 5 #leonard bernstein

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thee-achilles · 1 year

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GUSTAV MAHLER: A PARTIAL NATAL CHART ANALYSIS (HOUSES 1-6)

🧿DO NOT STEAL MY WORK OR KARMA WILL FIND YOU.🧿

hey guys :) i was searching through my old projects and i found this! i did this analysis for a creative project in order to get my position as drum major. if it seems too over-explanatory, it’s because i was describing all of this to people who didn’t know anything about astrology. also, this was written like a year ago, so my knowledge on astrology and placements has definitely expanded since then. if anything seems “out-of-date,” that’s why. either way. i hope y’all enjoy!! i had a lot of fun making this post to share this analysis with you all!! :) <3 (also i do not know the titles of these paintings. i do know that the middle one is mahler, though! so if anyone can tell me the names and their artists, it would be much appreciated!!!!)

WHO WAS GUSTAV MAHLER?

Gustav Mahler was a composer during the romantic period. He is of Austro-Bohemian decent, and is best known for his 10 symphonies. A fun fact about him is that a the main tune for “Be Our Guest” from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast came from his Symphony No. 3. Like most amazing artists, he didn’t become famous until years after his death. The performance of his music was banned in most of Europe during the era of Nazi rule and later rediscovered by new listeners. Since then, he has become one of the most recreated composers and has since kept this position going into the 20th century. (source(s): https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustav_Mahler, https://www.cartoonbrew.com/disney/be-our-guest-and-mahlers-symphony-no-3-54610.html)

INTRODUCTION:

This is Gustav Mahler’s birth chart. He was born on Saturday, July 7, 1860, in Kalischt, Czech Republic at 10:15 p.m. Everything in a chart has an important meaning; from the degree, to the house, to the sign, to the planet. To give a breakdown, the top left of the screen is his birth time information, below that is his planet’s signs and degrees, the tiny chart below that is the elements and modalities in his chart, and the tiny triangle under that are his chart’s aspects. To the right of all of that, is his chart. Each chart has 12 houses. These houses start from the AC, or the ascendant. However, today, I will only be evaluating 6 out of the 12 houses.

As you can see from Mahler’s chart, his ascendant is in Pisces at 9°. His first house also contains his Neptune, which is the planetary ruler of Pisces. From the other charts of talented musicians that I have evaluated, a lot of them seem to have heavy Pisces influence. This even extends to the talented musicians within our own community. (3 of excellent musicians in the band) are all Pisces suns. My brother has multiple planets in Pisces, which forms a stellium in his chart. A stellium is when 3 or more planets are in a sign or when 3 or more planets are in a house. Sometimes, these 3+ planets can ALL reside in the same house, which focuses a ton of energy of that chart towards that house.

STELLIUMS

In reference to stelliums within Mahler’s chart, he has a stellium in Leo which resides in his 6th house. His Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Jupiter are all in Leo and all reside in his 6H.

However, we will get to what all of that means later. As of right now, I want to break his chart down house by house, planet by planet, sign by sign.

HOUSE 1: THE HOUSE OF SELF

So, let’s start with the first house. As I said before, Mahler has a Pisces ascendant, so his first house is in Pisces. His first house contains his Neptune at 29°. The first house represents how we see ourselves and others’ first impressions of us when they meet us. The planets or sign of this house can ultimately affect our personality, and the 1H is The House of Self.

Neptune is the ruler of illusions and delusions, intuition and dreams, mysticism, the imagination, mental illness, the unknown, and is a major pinpoint of isolation (along with Saturn). This planet is also said to rule celebrities, as they give the public an illusion of what they’re like vs. what they’re actually like. His Neptune is in its house sign of Pisces, so the sign and the planet are in harmony meaning they will act in the same mannerisms. However, his Neptune is at 29°. 29° is the highest degree at which signs in planets can go to, making this a critical degree. 29° emphasizes the energy of the planet and its rulerships and can even signify fame. This degree is ruled by Leo.

Mahler was known, according to Connolly Music, to “suffer from skepticism, nervous tension, and an obsession with death.” The fact that Neptune is so prevalent in his chart is one of the main reasons why he is this way. The themes of Neptune and its critical degree, as you can see, affected his overall personality.

About the unknown and mysticism part of Neptune, Mahler hid from his wife the fact that he was Jewish and even converted to Christianity in order to have a successful conducting career. Alma, Mahler’s wife, was insanely anti-semitic, and never knew he was Jewish for a long time.

About the isolation part of Neptune, Mahler had a composition hut in Austria in which he used to finish his Second and Third Symphony and a few songs from his Des Knaben Wunderhorn. Funnily enough, this hut was positioned by Lake Attersee. Neptune, in Roman mythology, is known as the God of Freshwater and the Sea. Not only did he like to work in seclusion, he also liked to work near a body of water. He was also known as “an avid swimmer and mountain walker.” It’s just very funny for me to see things like this work hand in hand.

HOUSE 2: THE HOUSE OF VALUE

Mahler’s second house is in the sign of Taurus. While it should be in Aries, Mahler has what is called Intercepted Houses. This is when the sign of a house skips or repeats itself. However, this doesn’t mean that Aries does not exist in Mahler’s chart, however all 30 degrees of it is in the 1H. The reason why this happens is because the northern and southern latitudes of the 12 houses are not evenly spaced. This results in a sign being hidden and not easily accessible, though it is still there.

In this case, the house intercepted is in Aries. Aries governs over confidence and passion. It is ruled by Mars. As we can see by the description of Mahler’s personality, he suffered from skepticism and feared the unknown. He was unable to channel that Martian energy in his chart, thus leaving him unconfident.

Moving forward, the second house governs over personal finances, material items, self worth, and inner desires of gain. This house could also express one’s system of values. Mahler has his Pluto in the 2H in Taurus at 9°. Taurus is ruled by Venus and governs over the 2H, so it's right at home here. Pluto is the planet of destruction and transformation. When this is in the house of finances, a lot can go wrong as well as right. In terms of money, this route can take extreme rises as well as extreme falls. The people who have this placement can either be born into humble circumstances or be born into vast wealth. Mahler, of course, was born into humility, and had multiple rises and falls in his income. People with this placement also tend to have a small view on themselves and have a desire for control. This was very evident in the way that Mahler was described.

Since his 2H is in Taurus and intercepted houses are in effect, this means that four of the houses that continue after will be under their traditional sign of rulership. In Mahler’s chart, this is his second, third, eighth, and ninth.

HOUSE 3: THE HOUSE OF COMMUNICATIONS

The third house in Mahler’s chart is in Gemini. The third house rules communication, siblings, early education, perception, and transport. His Uranus resides in this house at 10°. Uranus rules everything eccentric, unpredictable, and creative/scientific brilliance. Having his Uranus in the 3H is a symbol of some kind of genius, though they often struggle in school.

Many reports say that Gustav Mahler was very “unreliable” in his academic school work. In order to fix this, his father had sent him away to the Newtown Gymnasium in Prague. Then, he ended up going to the Vienna Conservatory in order to study music. Here, Mahler’s rebellious flag flew as well, though he graduated. This is a fine example of transportation and struggling in school that Uranus so represents in the 3H.

Another example of his Uranus in the 3H working is that his siblings and their relationship with them weren’t “conventional”. His sister, Justine, had extreme possessiveness over Mahler and even went to extremes to make sure his romances were ruined. This was before he met Alma and told Justine that her behavior couldn’t continue. This encounter ruined Justine’s relationship with her brother. Many of Mahler’s siblings died during his early childhood including his older brother, who would’ve been the oldest of the 14 had he not passed. He also assumed responsibility for all of his surviving siblings after the death of his parents in 1889. This “unusual” responsibility can also be represented by the 10° that Uranus is in. 10° is under the rulership of Capricorn, which is ruled by Saturn. Saturn rules responsibility.

HOUSE 4: THE HOUSE OF HOME

Again, intercepted houses are at play here. Mahler’s fourth house is also in Gemini. There is not a planet in this house, meaning that only the sign is affecting this house. This also means that there is less tension pointed to this house in his chart. The 4H rules family, home, parents (specifically the mother), and the emotional base of our satisfaction.

Since Gemini is in this house, Mahler’s family life and home was constantly changing. This is very evident in his constant moving-about during his early childhood. Gemini in this house can also talk about a specific connection between one parent, though emotions in this sign are often rationalized. Mahler had a strong relationship with his father, who supported him in what would eventually be his career (music). He cared a lot for Mahler to make a stable income and put this first. Funnily enough, the 4H opposes the 10H, the house OF career.

HOUSE 5: THE HOUSE OF PLEASURE

When we talk about the 5H, we usually associate it with pleasure. This pleasure is usually derived from self-expression, creative hobbies, desire, children, and the showing of individuality. This is one of my favorite houses to talk about in astrology and placements here make it all the more interesting. Mahler’s 5H is in Cancer, the sign of emotional/physical well-being and comfort.

Traditionally ruled by Leo, Mahler’s sun in Cancer at 15° is right at home here. To me, the sun shines the brightest here because it’s in its home house. Since it’s the only planet here, it’s definitely giving the most energy.

A great explanation as to how rulership works out in astrology would be how Mahler passed away. The only reason why I bring this up here is because his 5H shows kind of a preview of what he was under before he died.

Mahler found out his heart was defective after his daughter, Maria Anna, died of scarlet fever. The discovery was made immediately after her passing. He was very stressed out beforehand and after her death, expressing his exhaustion was very hard. I believe this took a toll on his health, as he was unable to properly express himself and stress tends to build up in the heart.

He performed his last concert and left for Europe. He then was taken to a sanitarium to be treated. A few days later with no improvement, Mahler passed away. He was buried next to his daughter Anna Maria, as per request, on May 22 with only his name on his tombstone. He said this to be so because “any who come to look for me will know who I was and the rest don’t need to know.”

His death can also be represented in his sixth house, which I will further explain when we get there.

HOUSE 6: THE HOUSE OF HEALTH AND OCCUPATION

Out of all of the 12 houses in astrology, this one is definitely in my top 3 to discuss. The 6H can tell us so much about our potential careers as well as what our health could look like. This house rules health, occuations, and physical limitations. Though this house is traditionally ruled by Virgo, in Mahler’s chart it’s in Leo.

As I said before, Leo rules self-expression. One of the many ways of self-expression is performance. Frankly, if you haven’t noticed, Mahler’s got a lot of Leo in his 6H; he’s got a stellium, so it isn’t exactly surprising that he chose a career where his self most resonated and could be displayed in the public with an artistic flair. He also has his Venus, the planetary ruler of music and all things art, in this house as well at a powerful degree. Venus in his 6H is at 2° . 2° is ruled by Taurus and is often called the degree of power. It’s a very ambitious degree to have and it’s often what we pursue. 2° here under Venus shows that Mahler pursued music and put all of his ambition into it.

Here alongside Venus, are Jupiter, Mercury, and Saturn. Jupiter makes a conjunction to his Venus. Jupiter rules expansion, education, joviality, and abundance. When it is in a positive aspect to Venus, Jupiter enhances and expands Venus’s properties. This is an aspect I see in a lot of musicians as well, so I thought I would mention it here.

Like I said when I was discussing the 5H, there were a lot of factors in the 5H and the 6H that portrayed a preview of what Mahler was under before he passed. Since the 6H rules health, the 6H can tell a lot about the illness that caused Mahler’s death. Like the 5H, there is Leo influence. This again is pointing towards the heart problems that Mahler had with his heart as well as his job as a musician. Whenever my brother told me that Mahler had died of a heart condition, the first thing that caught my eye was his stellium in this house. I told him that it wasn’t surprising considering the huge amount of Leo influence here.

Mahler overexerted himself and then died in a sanitarium. Both of these things are represented by the 6H. When Mahler was on his deathbed, many people went to visit and expressed how much they loved him. Attention is ruled by Leo and Virgo/6H can represent places where health purification takes place. Him also having Saturn here, the planet of long-term effects and karma, indicates that his health issues had a long-term effect on not only him, but the people around him and that his daughter’s death could have been a factor leading to his death as well. All things health related can be pointed to the 6H and I think it is one of the easiest houses to read in astrology.

DEGREES:

Below, I listed some degrees that were indicators of his success and degrees that repeated.

Degrees of Fame and Success within Mahler’s Chart:

Neptune at 29°.

Venus and North Node at 2°.

North Node is our “path” in life and Mahler having this at 2° in Aquarius (ruled by Uranus, planet of eccentricity and community) proved that he was meant to do something that while was different from other people, was still extremely influential. His North Node resides in his twelfth house.

Repeating Degrees:

9°, 21°- Sagittarius Degrees

Sagittarian degrees, like all degrees, add the characteristics of a sign to the body it’s effecting. Sagittarius rules freedom, passion, and intellectuality. Mahler was incredibly passionate about what he wanted to do and he wanted to do it his way. Despite his uncertainty about the people around him and his true identity, he knew he found some sort of comfort in creating and learning about music while having the freedom to do so.

2°- Taurus degrees

2° is the degree of power and has extreme influence. This influence can be used for good or bad, and I’m thankful Mahler used it to elevate his musical career.

CONCLUSION:

I think all of these situations being displayed in Mahler’s chart can show that astrology can have the ability to predict events or tell of events that have already passed. Of course, you still don’t have to believe in everything I said here, I just think it’s neat! I only did 6 out of the 12 houses because this would have been probably 20 or more pages worth of information, and I did not want to make this longer than it already was. Either way, I hope you enjoyed! :)

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