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fruitless-vain · 11 months

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Hey I got a question for you my resident training expert friend. If you don't mind.

New house, next door has 4 very barky and attention seeking dogs. Any time the back door opens, or they see me through the bathroom or bedroom window, they start barking. If I take Isolde out to give her some ball time, they go nuts along the fence.

They are all friendly, but they just do not calm down....ever. I have been outside for 40 minutes just sitting and they do nothing but bark. Their owners occasionally try to call them in, but don't leave the back step so the dogs mostly ignore them.

I am starting to wonder if there is anything I can do on my end. Like would trying to interact with them by the fence calm them down or more likely to make them go more nuts with excitement when they see me?

I know, neighbour's dogs aren't mine to train, but I can't even set foot in my backyard without them going off...and I have to keep my bedroom curtains closed most of the time so they don't go off if they happen to see me through the fence and window.

It's.... frustrating and I'm not sure what to do about it. I was wondering if you had any tips or if I'm just doomed to the cacophony of dogs who do not know how to stop? *I mean I am a little worried for the dogs too because the one keeps jumping near the fence and I am so worried a paw will get snagged in the fence on the way down, or like running behind their shed where there is a lot of crowded stuff. I just don't want these dogs to break their damn legs with excitement you know????

If you’re comfortable enough with it the easiest option would be to talk to the owners, say you’re really interested in dog training and was wondering if you could try to practice on their dog’s to resolve the backyard barking! Most people are quite embarrassed when their dogs behave that way and are more than willing to accept free help provided they aren’t being shamed or blamed for the behaviours they feel bad about. That would definitely set you up to be able to work on this easier, be able to establish a relationship with the dogs and get permission to give them treats/ know if they have any allergies to be able to work on that.

Usually the easiest management from the owner’s side is just to teach a solid come inside cue, where you would be quite far away and be able to call the dog back in for a huge jackpot, gradually working your way closer. That’s usually a pretty quick process that doesn’t resolve the barking but does end it in the moment with a lot less stress happening on both sides.

If not depending on your setup there’s a few things you can do depending on the cause for the barking. It’s going to be a lot of trial and error to determine what is motivating the dog and what’s going to work.

The first step is to find the distance you can be that doesn’t trigger them. Experiment with it just being you out there, just your pup, perhaps just the jingle of a collar, you out of sight but making some sound, visible but no sound, see if you can isolate what triggers the barking on an individual level and if there’s a distance you can be at that doesn’t start the barking. This could mean opening the back door and still being inside the house. The goal being to take the individual triggers at your safe distance and gradually work your way closer.

The challenge is sorting out what motivates them and what they want to achieve with their barking. For most dogs it’s to make people go away, for some it’s just an overstimulated state of mind from excitement. For fear/ yard guarding you’ll stay under their threshold and then walk away to reward the lack of barking or toss a treat/ get the owner to toss a treat depending on the dog.

For excitement you can reward the lack of barking at your under threshold distance with treat tosses, toy tosses, or even with you/your dog getting closer if that’s what they’re really wanting to have happen if you think it won’t trigger the barking to start in that moment. Alternatively if all they want is you/your dog to come play you can slowly close the distance and immediately walk away when the barking starts. This can be frustrating for the dog however and is not the ideal way to train it, but when you’re trying to fix a problem with extreme limitations like this it is something that can be considered. Important to know if you leaving is rewarding or punishing in this scenario though because if you going away is what they actually want then it’ll make the barking worse.

Goal being to reward the quiet and gradually be able to close the distance.

Behaviours can be complicated and there’s far more options than what I’ve listed here but hopefully it’ll give you some ideas!

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 4 months

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I cant remember if i already sent in an ask, but i dont know what to do. Seven months ago, my dad relapsed back into his alcoholism. One night he got drunk, left my mom in an empty parking lot where my brother and I had to pick her up, and when we got home he had trashed all her things and threw her stuff out onto the front steps. It isn't the first time he's done this, my whole child it's all I can really remember him doing, but for awhile things were okay. Once he saw us though, he was an animal. He attacked my brother and they fought and we all had to pin my dad down while he screamed he'd kill us all. Once we thought it was okay to let him up, he lunged for my mom and my brother took the hit and they fought again. I had to call his brother, my uncle, to try and reason or stop him.

He nearly starts fighting my uncle, breathing heavily and his eyes just wild. I remember staring him dead in the face while he threatened he'd put a 40 in our skulls and kill us. That night we grabbed what we could and slept at my uncle's. The next morning, he felt guilty and apologized repeatedly but I blocked his number and refused to speak or see him. I still live at home though, meaning I'm still in a way in contact with him.

I'm done. I can't take it anymore, and what's worse is I'm alone in this decision. My dad is by no means a perfect person, I'm not either, nobody is. But this was too much and I've made my choice. My mother keeps trying to convince me to heal and accept my dad because he's an addict and given different circumstances, if I had an addiction or eating disorder, they wouldn't just abandon me right? But it's not the same, it really isn't.

I do have an eating disorder, I have CPTSD, I'm in pain and have been for a long time but I handle it and it's not something I let them see or know. What's his excuse. He's been abusive, manipulative, vile, and I can't forgive him.

I guess recently my dad had a small heart attack, and who knows maybe he'll die soon. But I don't feel anything about it. There's no anger, no sadness, no rage, just nothing. Maybe I'm in shutdown. Regardless, I'm not sure what's right anymore. I'm going to be saving up to move out, and if I don't have enough then I'll live in my car. He can kick me out for all I care. I can't stay anymore, not here.

Rent is insane where I live, I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to save or if I'll even achieve this goal, but I need to do something. Everyday gets worse and I can't keep waiting for another bomb to go off, or for my mother to comfort me by saying "the bomb is okay, accept it." She asked me to go a therapy session with her you know, mother daughter therapy. At first I agreed but after what she said today, she can forget it. Even after all this time, she doesn't understand. She never will.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. There is absolutely no obligation to forgive him. It's reasonable to resent him even if his behavior is related to substance abuse or whatever other excuse is given. Even if someone adequately takes accountability for their actions (which it sounds like he doesn't) you still don't have to forgive them, and it doesn't mean you aren't allowed to still feel hurt. It almost sounds like your mom is an enabler. You've seen a long pattern of violent, threatening, and hurtful behavior from your father, and so it makes sense why it's so hard to be convinced that he's something better. It's okay to not worry or even grieve if your dad passes away, especially in context. Do consider that if these violent episodes continue, it may be necessary to call the authorities, though it can definitely be easier said than done.

Although I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to go to therapy with your mom, being able to speak with a therapist could potentially help you a lot in processing these experiences and your feelings surrounding them, regardless of whether or not your mom benefits from it. It could be an opportunity to meet with that therapist individually as well, and they may be able to see the situation for what it truly is.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions feel free to add on, otherwise I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw substance abuse #tw death

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anyblogsviews · 3 months

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40 Creative Email Marketing Ideas : Stand Out Of The Crowd

Today, we are presenting 40 Creative Email Marketing Ideas that can help you stand out of the crowd. Did I say it right? Yes! 40 Email Marketing Ideas.

You can find a lot of ideas everywhere. But for that, you need to search a lot to collect many ideas and build a strategy. How about getting all of it at one place? A big yes!

Email marketing helps you build your online presence, a genuine listener list as well as generating sales. Through this, you educate your audience, engage with them and make money too.

Let's go ahead, and know all of those ideas that are going to help you stand out of the crowd and flourish your career. Don't forget to keep a pen and a notebook to note it all!

40 Creative Email Marketing Ideas

In this blog, we've created a list which includes all the ideas that can help you stand out and gain success. We collected all the strategies, and included every small part which affects Email Marketing.

In these 40 Email Marketing Ideas, you might have heard about some, and some may be new for you. So make sure to note them and after reading, check if you've applied them or not because they affect your email marketing campaigns.

Test Emails

Before sending out an email, testing it helps you in getting an insight about if the email is effective or not.

To test your email, try A/B testing. In this, you send two emails on the same topic with different subject lines and a bit tweaked content to two different small groups of email. The one which has more click and open rates is what you're going to get success with.

Take that email, target your audience and hit Send.

Provide Value

Whenever creating an email, keep in mind that your audience is always in a rush. They don't have time, they're super busy. Your content shouldn't take more than 2 minutes.

To achieve this, make sure to -

Keep your content short

Write small sentences as well as paragraphs

Don't step back when it comes to one sentence paragraph.

Keep it on the point and avoid fluffs.

Weekly Newsletters

Provide your audience a weekly update. Tell them what's going on in the industry. Make them aware of what you're working towards. Share what happened this week, cover it all, tell them what you gained and lost this week.

Cover all of what you sent them this week, and give them links to your products which performed well, the content related to it and all the related updates about the same.

Great Subject Lines

When you're running an email marketing campaign, you should know that the first thing your subscriber sees is the subject lines. Here's what you can do to make them click your email -

Keep them short. They should fit the screen so the viewer can view it full.

Make it interesting - ask a question, tweak your language, say a bold statement or make a way to tell them that there's value in the email.

Personalize it - take their name or include their personal details like something they are interested in.

Avoid misleading, be true to your words.

Create sense of urgency, so they open the email quickly

Use Emojis - but make sure to not overuse them

Try different lengths, formats and words in your subject lines.

These are just some tips, you should always try to bring up something new, because who knows, it might work for you!

Create Sign-up Forms

To generate subscribers, create a sign-up form, through which your audience can sign-up easily. Make it simple, ask them to just mention their names and email ID. Don't take much of their time.

While you make it easier for them to fill in details, make it easier for them to reach it too. Embed the signup form instead of giving them a link. This helps them take the move faster and end the process quickly.

Keep those sign-up forms embedded in the places your audience reaches the most, like, about us page, homepage, blog page or contact page.

Encourage Audience To Sign-up

Once you've created and embedded the sign-up forms, encourage your audience to sign-in. Whenever you post, encourage them to take a step, and become someone who can reach out to you easily.

Make them feel that this can help them be one step closer to you than others. Make them believe that this way, they're having a special and easier access to you.

An offer to Sign-up

While, not everyone may sign-up just for the special access, make them sign up for something special.

Offer them something in exchange for their email addresses. Offer them a downloadable asset that can help them in a way. Offer them a template, or a guide book or maybe, a trial product or a trial service for free (if you're comfortable) in exchange of their email addresses.

Reuse Already Existing Content

When you put up a website, you create a lot of content. You post that content in different formats like blogs, articles, images, videos etc.

To send emails to your audience, is it possible to always come up with something new? No, of course we are human beings.

So, re-use the content you've already created.

Collect the content in the same category.

Make it short, on point.

Tweak it, give it a new and creative form

Hit Send!

Promote Sign-up Through Social Media

Most of the people are very much active on social media. So, you should be where the public is.

Promote your sign-up up form on your social media accounts. Tell your audience about the benefits they can gain if they sign-up.

Include CTA

Not everyone is an active bird. Some people need to be commanded.

After you've written your email, include a CTA. Make them take action. Tell them why they should take action. Make them aware what they're going to lose if they don't.

Target Audience

To know who's your target audience for which email, you need to segment your subscribers first.

Know where they belong to; their place, their background, their behavior etc. Then, create content according to their needs and interests.

This would help in increasing more click through rates, open rates and even sales.

Subscriber - Only Benefits

Give your audience something to be greedy about. Really.

Provide special treatment to just your subscribers. Give them special discounts. Offer them special and only for them insights in your business.

This will trigger your non Subscribers audience to become your subscriber to access all those subscriber-only benefits.

Right Timing

While your content makes you gain or lose an audience, the timing affects the open rates and attention.

If you send your audience an email when they're in office or at work, they'll not open that email and maybe, forget even if they see the notification.

Find the right timings when your audience is most active. The timing differs for every person according to their living place, their work timings as well as their interest in being online.

Know your audience well and create small time ranges for different people or different groups of the same kind of people and shoot you emails at that time.

Help Them Know You

How to gain trust? Tell them who you are. Show them you trust them.

Help your audience know you. Tell them everything, like, -

The history of your business

You failures

Your success

Your first achievement in the business

Your first subscriber

Your learnings

Your most heartbreaking experience in your business

The happiest moment in your business etc.

This helps your audience gain trust. They get to know you personally through this.

Seasonal Promotion

While you're sending your audience a regular email, how about seasoning it up? Yes, tweak your emails according to the seasons (and not spices).

Give them value, show how you can be helpful in a specific season.

Before Holiday Campaign

Aware of the shopping before holidays? Make it a priority.

Whenever holidays are near, run an email marketing campaign for the same before it happens. People buy goods and services a day to a week before for enjoying holidays.

This can boost your sales and engagement a lot.

Reminder Emails

Suppose, you sent a discount to your audience but what if they forget about it?

Whenever you offer something to your audience, or want something from them, after sending the target email, send them a reminder email too.

Reminder emails helps your subscribers avail those discounts and offers and not miss the great chance.

Personalize Your Emails

How to grab attention and keep them attentive? Take names.

When you take their name, they get a quick rush of attentiveness and they listen to you.

Within the email, use their tone, the tone that they like. Talk about their interests, their likings and how they're going to benefit if they contact you or buy something from you.

Referral Program

Run a Referral Program. Referral program helps in gaining audience. When your subscribers refer you to someone they know, the other person is most likely to believe and contact you.

This way, they trust you already, you don't have to put much effort. But, make sure to keep that trust.

With that, offer your audience something in return when they refer someone.

Birthday/ Anniversary Emails

Birthday and Anniversary emails are a great way to boost your email campaigns.

When you wish them on birthday or anniversary, they feel special. To make them come to you and be with you till the end, offer them something special. Give them a discount or maybe, a free cake!

Show-off Reviews

What do you do when you get a positive review? Nothing? Such a bad thing.

Show it off! Whenever someone compliments you, show it off. Put of the positive reviews as well as the related products in your emails and show off.

Educate Your Audience

Your audience is always curious to know more about you. So, tell them about you.

Educate your audience about your audience. Tell them -

How you run the business

What to expect when running a business

What to put it

Tips and tricks for specific causes

Solution to some common problems etc.

This helps the audience know you as industry expert and you emerge as a leader.

Be Consistent

When you studied in school, what was that one thing your teacher said other than to study? To be consistent. Whether it's studies, games or business, being consistent makes you gain success.

Be regular with sending emails, engaging with your audience and being updated. This help you be on the track as well as active.

Product Promotion

You launched a product. What if your audience don't know about it? Will you be able to make a sale? No.

Tell your audience about your product. Educate them. Tell them how the product will help them.

After you have told your audience about your product, promote it. Include a link to access the product. To bosst sales, offer a small discount with it during the start and then, make it the real price.

Mobile Friendly Templates

Do you know that most of your audience scrolls through phone only? If yes, great. If not, you need to take care of it.

Ensure that the email templates you use are mobile adjustable. They text, images should fit the screen. The links should work. And most importantly, your email templates should be mobile friendly.

Launch New Products

Being on the same page is quite boring. Isn't it?

Keep your audience engaged by launching new products that resonate with them.

This wins their interest as you're giving them something new to connect with, relate with and buy.

Give them The Trailer

Suppose you're thinking about launching something. How about giving a small view of it to your audience?

This remains as a suspense till you actually launch the product. The suspense wins your audience’s interest and makes them excited for what's coming next.

Experiment With Plain Text

Plain text is simple. You just write what you want your audience to know. You include no images, no infographic, no formats, just simple texts.

Plain text works for some people. Its simplicity wins the heart of the audience. To know if it works for you, experiment!

Giveaways

How about keeping a regular giveaway?

Set a target, something like, reaching a number of clicks, or maybe number of sales. Make your audience aware about it. Also, inform them that you'll be organizing a giveaway after you achieve a certain role.

This will boost your engagement, sales and increase your audience too.

Highlight The Bests

Do you ever search for anything with the word “best”? Your audience searches for it too. How about telling them the best before they ask you about it?

Analyze which services or products have gained maximum sales and positive reviews. Ultimately, they're the best performing products. Highlight them in your email and include a link as well.

Ask For Reviews

Reviews help you gain trust when you show them off.

Take an easy step, ask for reviews from your satisfied customers. That's it.

Make It Easy To Unsubscribe

Would you ever enter a room where there's no exit? I won't.

Similarly, when you provide sign-up forms and easy entrance to your audience, provide them with an easy exit too.

When they feel that you aren't forcing them to be here, they feel comfortable.

Include Multimedia

Images and videos are great attention seekers. How about using them in your emails?

Use images that are high-quality, explanatory and eye-catching. You can also use videos and other form of media to make it easy for your audience to understand you.

Gamify It

Most email marketing campaigns use Gamification in their emails.

Experiment with it. Include surveys, or a task of built-in games to gain attention of your audience and give them a good time.

Build Genuine Email List

While this is the first step towards an email marketing campaign, it is the most important step too.

How do you build an email list? Do you buy it from someone? No. This can name your business a scam.

Give your audience the option to sign-up and become your subscriber. Ask them genuinely to be a part of the community you're building.

Avoid Spam Triggers

Would you like to end up in spam boxes? Obviously, no.

Avoid using words like buy now, 100% free or urgent etc in your email. These words trigger spam and your email might end up in spam boxes.

Create Urgency

Without using the word urgent, create Urgency for your user to take action.

Set a limited time. Tell them how this offer is important for a limited time. Tell them what they'll lose.

Be Yourself

While you use all these strategies for your email marketing campaign, don't forget to be you.

Your real self is what makes your business unique. And uniqueness helps you stand out of the crowd.

Relate One Email To Another

Have you ever created a lesson plan? All the topics related to one another.

Same way, create a plan, where your emails connect to each other. Write the email and at the end, create suspense. Keep the audience hanging and excited for what's next. Open that suspense in the next email, and continue the chain.

Be Interesting

How can you be interesting? It's easy.

You can tell a joke, you can show a sketch. This space is all about creativity. Be an interesting person. Do whatever you like, relate it with the audience and hit Send!

Conclusion

In this blog, we've told you all the ways you can use to make your email marketing campaign stand out.

While everyone out there will expose this to the section and take your time, we've put it all in one place to help you know everything faster. Use these, merge them or tweak them, it's all up to you.

Apart from this, always remember one thing, to experiment. Experimenting is what makes a person better.

#email marketing #tips for email marketing #email campaigns #email strategy #email optimization #effective emails #email automation #email best practices #email conversion

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brainslikeme · 10 months

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Intro to this

Hello,

I have never written a "blog" before or even post something that will have my opinion out on the internet but I have some free time and would like to write. Now bare with me because I was never good in English class or even one to read a lot. So for everyone who has perfect grammar I apologize in advance. I have named this account brains like me mainly because it was one of the only names left for me to choose but also because of what I wanted to write about. If I had just one word to describe myself it would probably be different. Now if you know me then maybe you are reading this and thinking that me being different is full of it but in reality the person who you are when you are with people and who you are by yourself are very different. Very different. When I am hanging out with friends or family I am outgoing, I am talkative, involved and just in general friendly. When I am by myself it is completely different. Granted, normal people don't talk when they are by themselves but this is different. Im shut down, my brain is everywhere. Wether it's thinking about one thing extensively or 100 things extensively my brain is always thinking about something. I don't communicate feelings but truly sometimes I just don't feel feelings. Does that make sense? Writing that doesn't make sense but when I think about it, it does. Now I'm not going to share information about my personal life to explain it but Im sure most of you guys reading this will understand this. Anyways, to myself and how many times I have been told that I can be multiple people at times I feel like I have a complex brain, I have a complex way of thinking of thoughts, feelings, emotions and more. A little bit about myself for context, Growing up my parents were divorced. I have 3 brothers and by no means am I "wealthy". As a lot of kids I grew up having to struggle for some things. My power went out a couple times due to money, we had to store water incase out water got turned off from the city, we bought fast food for our meals because it was easier to afford that than buying groceries. To make that makes sense if we spent 40 dollars a week on meals it was to my mom cheaper to do that rather than drop 250 on groceries for the month. Being an adult now I understand that is completely wrong and we wasted so much money but its just how it is. Up to 18 years old I never ate 3 meals a day, It was usually one or two and it was 90 percent of the time fast food. I played baseball my whole life but was by no means healthy. I vaped, I never drank water, I was terrible in school and I would get sick so often I thought my career was going to be a test subject for diseases. When I moved out I started getting my act together. I began to read, began to eat 3 meals a day that we're healthy, meditated, worked out and learned how to be better. Now by no means am I close to perfect but I think apart of trying to be perfect is starting to be better. So I'm trying. To essentially shorten this down for just in intro on the blog I wanted to release topics or events that happen to either myself or even the world that hopefully Im not the only one who thinks the same about it. Even if its not an opinion you agree with I think its an opinion worth sharing, right? Isn't that what life is about nowadays? Opinions? If you are reading this far I want to thank you, thank you for listening to what my brain is processing this moment. Who knows maybe I post every week or never post again. I don't communicate well, and for me I believe doing this will relieve some stress or thoughts that even for myself I don't need to release.I believe I need to release. Ive struggled with emotions my whole life so who knows, maybe this is a first step to being better.

Thanks,

#self improvement #success #thinking #life #understanding

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lifewithoutmeds · 1 year

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April 14, 2023

Oooh, another long spell without writing, curiously, and things haven’t been that good and i haven’t really been trucking along.

Not much has transpired in the last month. work, social outings, the usual to-do chore list. i was doing pretty well budget wise then went a lil manic and bought a new LL Bean jacket, new adidas NMD shoes, and a fly fishing rod/reel combo (new, but off of OfferUp.) Those three cost $350. I also bought a hair dryer, but I probably needed it, not having ever purchased one and having used a small portable travel one for the last several years.

Kinda feels nice actually having a few new shiny things in my life.

Buying and the contemplating of buying the jacket made me have to face my weight again and my body image. I could have gotten a regular small, or a petite small or a petite medium, and i realized that with my circumference, i’d probably have to go with the medium, and with some embarrassment/chagrin, i did so, and glad i did, because it fits almost snugly. realized again how much my body image/weight is negatively impacting me and making me feel like i can’t participate in fashion or what i consider to be good taste even in clothing.

so once again i’m re-dedicating myself to weight loss, to the discipline required in taking small steps in the right direction. Had a great session with kelda yesterday and she was saying how much i vacillate between extremes. i will binge eat then go to extremely restrictive eating, then binge some more. i don’t just eat pasta once; once i eat, i finish the box, i eat the entire pound, maybe not in one sitting, but i figure, i’ve already slipped, why not just go all the way. and she was encouraging me always find the middle, because i have such difficulty doing that.

yesterday was practice, as i watched what i ate, tracked my calories, and made sure i had good amounts of protein and some fruits/vegetables, but when i saw i still could eat some calories, instead of just starving myself, i treated myself to a haagendazs bar that still put me in a caloric deficit. but it didn’t make me feel like i was starving or limiting myself unduly.

kelda was saying that even if i didn’t feel like getting up or moving, if i just made myself move for five minutes, that would be better than just vegging. i think it’s called the two minute rule. just to commit to two minutes of any task that seems troublesome, and typically, upon having started, it’s easier to keep going and keep at it longer.

today feels better. yesterday, i had done all of the things, so maybe that contributed. i worked hard (at work), ran the vacuum twice, washed the dishes three times, walked for 40 minutes, exercised for 20 minutes, read some of my book, and filmed a bit for my fishing youtube. i ate a small salad, i ate well-portioned and relatively healthy meals throughout the day, had my one hour of facetime therapy with kelda. i brushed my teeth and even washed my face and put on overnight face lotion before i went to bed, a task which has been strangely difficult for me even though i hate myself for not doing it afterward.

this weekend’s plans: Today/Friday: a few chores, getting gas, in n out for lunch, then fishing from about noon - 7 p.m.

saturday: brunch with amy lee, exchange a few items with lana around noon, hot flash lesbian event in the evening

sunday: not much so far. a walk? some cleaning? probably preparing a bit for the trip to belfast/dublin later in the week.

i think it’s important to: keep moving, as kelda said. to have things on the calendar. to stop getting deeper when i already feel bad about myself. to have regularly scheduled social things, travel things, and have adequate rest in between times. it’s important to stop and process, and journal/write this stuff out. it’s important to pause and clean and purge as necessary.

it just occurred to me how much i enjoy matt and kendy’s company. i should probably schedule something with them soon. i love good conversation that flows, i love the banter, i love the cleverness, the wit, the undercurrent of care and kindness.

today feels better than others. probably some combination of a week that has felt accomplished, with some good coffee this morning, and anticipation of a few good things to come (fishing, amy, lesbians.)

also i’ve committed to living a lifestyle that allows me to lose 1.5 lbs a week. that means: calorie tracking/restriction, 80-100 grams of protein a day, 15,000 steps a day (which usually necessitates at least one longish walk), and 20 minutes of weight training daily. it’s nice to think that if i keep this up, in x days i’ll be y pounds thinner, and ooh by x month, i’ll be z pounds thinner! the trouble is the days, is the hours, is the minutes, is the boredom, is the emotions, is the tiny acts of slipping up or giving up. but i have to use that as exercises in discipline, which i admire, and feel i lack. i must be what i admire.

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firmsconsultingofficial · 1 year

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One of our wonderful Insiders wrote this thoughtful email for Michael and me, but also for the benefit of the FC community. I removed some identifying information. I think this message can help many people.

If you are in your 20s, 30s, or 40s, as you read through John’s email (name changed for privacy), step into being 53.

Be in John’s shoes for the duration of the reading. And it will help you see more clearly what you need to do now to lay out a better foundation for your future.

===

Hi Kris and Michael,

Given all the posts about what it’s like to be middle aged, it seemed appropriate to write to both of you. I just turned 53. I think I am ten years older than you, Michael, and I am 17 years older than you, Kris. I’ve been a subscriber to FirmsConsulting for nearly 10 years(Insider level). I teach xxx at a xxx, and I’ll know if I have tenure in two months. Before I started teaching, I worked as an xxx in industry doing R&D and process improvement for 14 years.

Given my age, I am no longer in your target market. If anything, I am the person you warn your subscribers against becoming. So what’s it like to be over 50?

I can tell you that the body is not as resilient as it was when I was younger. I can do all sorts of things that a person half my age can do. I am in good physical condition for someone my age. The difference is that it is easier to get injured and it takes me much longer to recover. You won’t see my pulling all-nighters for anything because of how long it would take me to recover from it.

I have a family. This, of course, means that I have to balance family responsibilities with anything I want to do professionally. You can’t have it all. There are trade offs to be made. Flexibility becomes very important. Unless you want someone else raising your children, one parent will have to stay home. There is always a decision to be made of what work responsibilities rise to the level of missing out on something your kid is doing. You can’t get the time back. A good many people my age have children who are in college or older so this may not be a consideration. However, we all have aging parents. Taking care of them becomes more and more of an issue so the trade offs are still there with work.

Professionally, I am at the point where becoming a corporate executive is no longer a consideration. I am not one of the fortunate ones to have made it to that level. Though I am not sure the climb is worth it. I am much more cynical about life in the corporate world, no matter the business. Career success means doing meaningful work and making a difference in the lives of others. It is less about money. I’d love to have a job with a 6 or 7-figure salary, but I don’t know if it would be worth the stress or hassle. My 25-30 yr. old self would not think that way.

I have thought about changing careers many times. My problem now is that companies may not look at me because of my age. Ageism is an issue. Especially in industries like tech. If I were still in industry, I’d be a layoff target due to my age. Finding people to help me out so that I could make a transition is a problem. Who wants to help out a 50 something with a 12-15 year career runway? People my age are supposed to be the mentors not the mentees.

There are some good things about being a middle aged person. I’ve made many mistakes and have my regrets about them, but with that comes some wisdom. I try to pass that on to others when I can. I have a perspective about life that a 30 yr. old simply doesn’t have ( I know what life before the internet was like ). I am much more patient and less judgemental about people than I was when I was younger. This makes me better able to deal with people. I look long-term more than I did.

I could go on about things, but this email is already a long one. I hope my perspective is useful for you, Michael, as you continue with your series about being middle-aged. You are welcome to ask me anything if you wish. The same is true for you, Kris, as well. FirmsConsulting is awesome and I learned a lot from what you have built.

John (name changed)

===

John is a great Insider. We had an hour-long chat earlier this year. I think in this situation, I would look at building or buying a business in parallel with the day job vs. trying to break into executive roles. But, of course, it comes with some sacrifices. And the decision will need to be made, is it worth it. Or am I happy with the way things are?

Life is full of choices. But at the end of the day, you need to do what will help you feel happy.

There is a quote from John Lennon:

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

Rereading this last part of the quote gave me goosebumps. And I know this quote by heart.

At the end of the day, I believe life is about being happy.

And John IS happy. Things are not perfect but he is happy.

But he was also kind enough to share what it feels like to be 53 so people who are 35, 40, and 45 can use this information to help them make better decisions today.

As many of you know, I invest scary amounts of money and time in professional training and development. I learn from top people in the world, so I can bring the best approaches, tools, techniques, ideas, and understanding of how the world works and how business works back to you guys.

My goal is every time a coaching client or a colleague, or even a family member, talks to me, they should be taken to an advanced version of me from the version of me they spoke to before, even if before means that morning.

Throughout the day, I attend multiple training and coaching calls from various programs from top people in the world in their respective fields. And I often attend training events.

And age will not stop me.

But I can confirm what John shared. With age, things do get harder physically.

I traveled to another city on Saturday to attend training. I was back home late that same night, finished some work, and went to bed around 12.

In the morning on Sunday, I planned to finish some important work. When I woke up, I felt I had no energy.

Every step took effort. I felt weakness in my legs and feet.

I still finished the work I planned, which required a lot of effort and willpower, and regained energy by lunchtime. By 1 pm, I felt much better, and we had an amazing coaching call with Legacy members.

But that morning was really tough and scary.

Whereas, for example, during my 20s, when I was working for the 1st large international consulting firm (I worked for 2 in my career), I could leave the office at 1 am and be back at 5 am at that same office and be ok to do that again the next day, and the next day.

Tired, but ok.

That’s why having a Masterplan for your career, a vision of where you are going, and building assets along the way that can generate income for you is crucial. Legacy membership is kind of like a mini Masterplan coaching program.

It’s a powerful maintenance program for Masterplan approach users.

You get powerful exclusive training and guidance, and individualized coaching at regular intervals twice a month.

We even use the variation of the Masterplan excel tracking sheet for Legacy members because the Masterplan approach to planning and building your life, career/business is a very powerful and structured approach. And most people who follow the Masterplan approach and go through the training end up deciding to build or buy a business.

Join Legacy not to miss this weekend’s coaching call and get input from Michael or me, given your particular situation and goals.

Give yourself structure, training, coaching, and accountability to make the last quarter of this year count.

If you want in, use the link below to join. You will immediately unlock Legacy training on StrategyTraining.com. If you are not an Insider, you will also immediately unlock Insider content. And I look forward to working with you during the next Legacy coaching call (scroll down to membership options on StrategyTraining.com to select Legacy).

Take care,

Kris

#THEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND LIFE #firmsconsulting

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padgettobrien25 · 1 year

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Medifast Diet How Many Carbohydrates Or Perhaps In Medifast Foods?

Low or not any fat diet plans may additionally be the wrong way to proceed whenever seeking remove fat. Healthier fats may be a significant part fat burning diets. Excess fat foods usually include an elevated sugar message. Sugar alone is a low-fat food, obviously consuming sugars can and will cause in which be unwanted weight. This is usually a big point of failure regarding many of all of these well-known weightloss program. For all diet plans that hold point plans, it might possible for dinner just high sugar veggies and fruits. All these useless unhealthy calories will not help fat loss. You won't have being preoccupied with being in ketosis, and when you eat an "unplanned" carb meal, or just feel the drive to eat more carbs to increase energy, you didn't just knock yourself out of the ketogenic state you worked 2 hard days gain. As we limit the hardness of carbohydrates as well as therefore the calories from them we need to make sure we get enough calories from other sources, mainly protein and fat. One well known diet, Atkins, relies at this methodology during its "induction phase". PurpleBurn Pro makes the participant consume a very low amount of carbohydrates whilst eating great protein plus moderate degree of fat. You wish to get system to switch from to be a carbohydrate or protein burning machine with a fat burning machine. Simply remove carbohydrates out on the equation, Even though fat in your diet at (at least) a 40-50% relative amount. This lets the body know there continues to a primary fuel source (fat) and allows so that it is burned as fuel, while sparing aminoacid. So, We to try and beat it on mine. The dizzy spells, the panic attacks, the hypoglycemic episodes, the weakness, the fatigue, the shakes, heart and soul palpitations. and, well, I have done! The case is different between a bodybuilder or athlete as well as the children getting affected by epilepsy. Disorderly has been used on the keto diet prepare for about these two years and ending a cyclical ketogenic diet may have drastic effects particularly when perhaps not performed with care. Just like when you started by helping cover their the diet, the weaning period also needs lots of guidance and support on the parents. You ought to make little one recognize that there're going in order to become changes once more but this time, your son or daughter will extended go to the keto diet goal. Ask your physician about it. Rather then telling you what consume or how you can eat your meals, I am going to simply declare that your total daily calories should be 10 to 12 times your bodyweight in pounds. So if we use our 200lb man again, we times his body weight by 11 and we obtain 2200 weight. We can workout that164g of protein equals 656 calories 30% of our own daily intake (1g protein = 4 calories) that leaves us with 1544 calories for that day. Discover fill these calories with at least 20% fat (1g fat = 9 calories), and the remaining 50% should be from carbohydrates (1g carbs = 4 calories). Some useful resources - get ripped routine tools. Each one of many above steps is very important for healthy decline. Take consuming less calories for occasion. It is well known that weight loss boils right down to eating less calories than you take up. The problem with this simple statement will be the do begin and what are best low-calorie food promotions? That is why it is important to have an excellent diet regimen and follow common meaning keto diet facts . Knowing what to do step by step is a lot easier than shopping to guess what foods work best foods. It's also vital to learn about portion control and for you to cook. This diet takes the fats, breaks them down and converts them into energy - this will be the the fast weight loss process does. The fat with this increasing burned and broken into energy is known as fat metabolism. Hence ketones will grow from metabolism. Ketones in the blood look through brain and substitute glucose into strength source.

#Purple Burn Pro Review

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skovgay · 2 years

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Managing A Simple Family Minecraft Server

In the end, I use my ratcraft script to manage the Minecraft server in the "cloud".

Virtual hardware

I have an Linode shared virtual instance that has the following specs: 4GB RAM 2 Cores, 40 GB SSD, at $20 per month. While cheaper instances may work, we have no problems with more than four users using this instance.

Hosting on an in-house computer works great (and is cheaper after about an year or so) However, having the "cloud" instance is so much easier to manage and getting your friends outside of the home is 100% easier.

The server runs Slackware Linux and I do all server management from the command line using SSH.

It also comes with it's own DNS subdomain, which makes it easy to tell your acquaintances how to access it.

Minecraft Server

We've experimented with mods (and creating them), so we've run Spigot servers locally. On the server that is family-owned we run the "vanilla" Minecraft server (Java Edition).

The server is launched

The server is an Java executable that needs to be kept running within a process. I've opted to manage the process by using the GNU terminal multiplexer screen. This is the start command.

I don't believe I can write that many times, so I wrote a small Bash script to handle it for me.

It's approximately 130 lines of Bash and comes with a couple of commands:

Server upgrades

Minecraft clients automatically upgrade to the latest version as soon as it becomes available.

Getting the latest server to match is as simple as grabbing the tarball link from minecraft.net/download/server and downloading it on the host:

UPDATE: I no longer manually change the server's name to the version number and keep the old names around. Instead, I let the server.jar that I downloaded server.jar overwrite the previous. This saves me a step, and I haven't needed to downgrade (yet).

So I no longer have to do this step: manually edit the ratcraft script to update the server version:

Then I restart (stop and start) the server with the following command:

In just a few minutes the server will be ready for the updated clients in a matter of minutes.

It's not a high-end solution however, it is:

- Easy enough to understand for me, when I return to it every couple of months

Simple to use and sufficiently automated to not cause any discomfort

Backups

The backup function in the ratcraft script is available. It is called every day by a cron job in Slackware’s /etc/cron.daily directory. The script calls:

The backup instructs the Minecraft server to stop saving, creates a.tgz by using tar –cpvzf from the "world" directory and saves it in the directory "backups".

The backup command can also perform simple backup rotations to make sure that the server does not overflow. Sometimes we'd like to preserve a significant moment in our lives. To do this, I just rename one backup so it doesn’t be removed from the rotation.

How to get/upgrade the JDK

You could just run the Java executable on your system and then update with a package manager. But in my universe it's a bit more manual.

The Minecraft server updates seem to require newer and more recent versions of the JVM. Although I'm not keeping up with Java world, it appears that the best way to download the JVM currently is:

http://jdk.java.net/

I'm not sure how you can obtain just the JRE (runtime environment ) with JVM which is all that should be required to run the Minecraft server). It's not that big of a deal. The JDK is simply a bigger download, since it's a subset of JRE along with compilers and libraries, etc.

Minecraft server

#53vv #minecraft #Minecraft java #minecraft server

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muffinshark · 3 years

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Hello, I’ve just started oil and digital painting but having issues figuring out the process and as you are my main inspiration, just thought I’d ask if you feel up to doing a detailed breakdown of your paintings/process. Thank you for your time :>>>

sure! I can't really give a detailed breakdown of the actual painting/rendering part because that's mostly experience gained from trial and error and also way more information than I can really put down here re: values, color, general technique, etc. (there are tons of speed paint videos on youtube that I would really recommend watching if you want to get an idea of how other people paint) but I can sort of... go through all of the steps of a painting from beginning to finish under this cut:

1.) thumbnails: after I know what I want to paint, I'll start with rough sketches on scrap paper to figure out composition, image dimensions, etc. I'll then do a small sketch in photoshop, and block in general colors and an idea of the lighting setup.

I tend to throw away the scrap paper after I finish a piece, so I only have the thumbnail sketches for the piece I'm working on atm:

2.) research and reference gathering: this step happens pretty much side-by-side with step 1. I collect as many references I can to help me with likeness, lighting, clothing, etc. etc. etc. If my piece is set in a specific time period (lately it’s been the 20s-40s nyc lmao), I'll research period-accurate clothes, interiors, props. Sometimes if I cannot get the right reference for the pose or lighting, I'll take a picture of myself. I know a lot of artists use PureRef, but I just dump all of the references I collect onto a huge photoshop file for easy access while I paint.

If you’re painting realistically, this is an important step! It is extremely difficult to paint realistically from your head. All of the old portrait paintings hanging in museums were painted with live models as reference. Professional artists use photo references all the time (you can actually find some of the reference photos that illustrators like Norman Rockwell and Alphonse Mucha took and compare them to the final illustrations). It will make things MUCH easier for you, and you will improve much more quickly as well.

3.) full-size sketch, color block-in : I'm more of a painter than a lineartist/draftsman, so my sketches tend to be pretty shitty, but all they really need to be is a guide for where to put the colors as they will eventually be painted over anyway. (The only exception to this is portraits; for those I will often do a detailed sketch with accurate proportions so I don’t have to worry about whether an eye is too high or if the nose is too long while I’m actually painting) I draw my sketch on a separate layer, set it on multiply, lock it. Then on a layer underneath, I paint in rough colors. Sometimes I'm lazy and will just enlarge my color thumbnail and use that instead of painting it over again.

sketch:

color block-in:

4.) merge sketch and color layers and start to paint: once I'm satisfied with the sketch and colors, I duplicate the sketch layer, lock it, and set it to invisible just in case I ever need it later as a guide. Then I merge the remaining sketch layer with the color layer, and lock the resulting layer. That's my base. I create a new layer over it and start painting. From here, it's just a lot of noodling around, rendering, and refining to get to the final painting! I know a lot of painters tend to keep all their elements on separate layers, but I like to work with as few layers as possible as it more closely resembles how I would paint in oils.

here's a wip of my current piece as well as a progression wip for an older one:

my actual painting process is just: slap down the colors i want, and slowly add more detail and shading until it’s rendered to to something that isn’t awful and messy haha

5.) textures, color adjustments: I generally don’t like the smooth, polished look digital art can lean towards, so I also add on textures and noise to make it look rough and imperfect and more like traditional media. Also minor things like fabric/wood textures that would take me a long time to paint freehand and just isn’t worth the time to do so. Then I play with color adjustments. Sometimes at this point in the painting process I’ll have changed my mind and want a slightly different color scheme/mood than what I started out with, or sometimes I’ll have migrated a little too far from the initial colors and want to go back --color adjustments are perfect for this.

initial thumbnail colors:

final colors:

aaand that’s basically it!

#anonymous #asks #hope this helps!#also for some reason my theme no longer displays read mores and instead just directs you to a blank page #so if the 'read more' directs you to a blank page on my tumblr please click the 'view on dash' eye icon on the top right corner :#all these new updates have made my ancient theme basically unusable 😔

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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can u do a blurb about reader wanting a baby and asking her co-worker Spencer to be the donor because he's smart and nice and she wants a cute baby?

you said blurb and i read 2K word fic apparently lmao

Late nights behind a desk were the worst. Y/N hated reading over case file, after case file, of horrific things as she tried to choose where they went next.

The only plus side was that she wasn’t alone, Spencer was at his desk just beside her. Like he always was. They had an interesting friendship, to say the least.

Ever since Y/N joined the BAU, Spencer and her were glued at the hip. They had all the same interests, liked the same music and movies, and they spat out information the same way, they were like each other’s dorky other half— but it was just a friendship.

They had a tradition to watch at least one movie together after a case, to just chill for a bit together. Always randomly picking one of their apartments to go to, spending the night together until one of them eventually wandered off to bed. Leaving the other on the couch.

They weren’t aware of their feelings for each other for a while. Both of them being so used to being alone, and never having anyone be interested in them before. It was hard to understand if the feelings they had were pure friendship, or if it could ever be more. If the sex would fuck everything up and take away that perfect happy place they found in each other, or would it make the bond stronger?

She noticed the crush before Spencer showed any signs of liking her back. She woke up every morning thinking of him, that's when she came to the conclusion that it was more than just a friendship. She wanted him in her life forever, she wanted to kiss his perfect lips and hug his soft body, wake up beside his messy hair and just love him for the rest of eternity.

She sighed as she picked up another file, not excited to learn about the horrible acts taking place in what people called, “the best country in the world.” She’d disagree any day of the week.

This one was a file about some missing kids apparently being spotted in a van altogether in Georgia, it looked interesting enough to be the next case. She hated reading all the info, seeing every kid's happy face in the file knowing that’s not how they looked now.

“Good god,” she groaned as she flipped through the case.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked over the divider.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, “just a bad case.”

She handed it to him over the desk, hearing him flip through all the sheets as he read a million words a minute. “We should show this to Emily first thing,” Spencer agreed, pushing himself over to her desk in his wheely chair.

“I will,” she smiled softly, taking the file back from him and placing it on her desk.

Spencer stood then, making his way into her space and rubbing his hand over her back slightly. “Are you okay?”

She sighed, “actually. no, I was telling Garcia I want to have a baby soon, and then I see things like this and I’m scared to do it alone but I don’t have any other option?” Ranting to him like he was her therapist.

“What do you mean?”

She turned in her chair to look up at him, his soft brown eyes really caring to hear the answer. “Sit,” she insisted.

He pulled the chair over more, sitting close enough that their knees touched. “I’m 36, I’m not having any luck finding a husband or a wife, I want a baby and if I have to do it myself I will, but what if I’m not enough? What if I have a boy and he grows up to be a killer cause he never had a dad?”

“Y/N,” Spencer’s voice was soft as he looked at her with a confused scrunch on his face. “That couldn’t happen, you’re a wonderful person, I love having you on the team and in my life, I know you’d raise good kids, you should do it.”

“Really?” She beamed at him, the words touching her heart and making her swoon a bit.

“I mean, it would be hard,” he added reason to the conversation. “You’d have to take time off, which would be good for bonding. My mother raised me alone and I turned out semi-fine, I don't hold any resentment for her not finding someone for me to call dad or even step-mom for that matter. I think if you give them all the love in the world like I know you’re capable of, your child will love you like you’re their whole world.”

She laughed as she noticed the tears welling in her eyes, waving her hand's in front of her face so she wouldn’t fully sob. “Do you want to be the donor?” She made a joke to change the topic.

Spencer laughed then too, “sure!”

Everything got serious again then, she looked at him a little differently. “Really? Cause honestly, you’re like a Grade A donor profile in the most expensive clinic!” She couldn’t help herself from laughing again at the absurdity.

“I’ve always wanted to be a dad, 40 isn’t too old to have a child, is it?” He seemed to have decided that rather fast.

“Okay,” she nodded with a smile, “okay. That’s cool, sick,” she felt the words get smaller as she thought it over.

“I get it if you were kidding,” Spencer spat out. “I realize now that you might have been making a joke, I hope it’s not weird that I agreed so fast, it’s just that I think you’re a very beautiful and smart woman and the idea of helping you make a child makes me really excited. I think it would be a very good idea if you were being serious, but I get it if you’re not.”

She let him get it all out, always loving when he got like this on a case or in person, nervous or just because he wanted to talk, she loved to listen. And no one ever let him finish his thoughts, always wanting to beat him to the punch.

“Spence, I think you’re really handsome and smart too,” she smiled. “If you’re also serious, I am too.”

“How would we?” He asked as he pulled at the top button of his dress shirt, swallowing like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

“If you’re not opposed, I’m sure the good old-fashioned way would work?” She laughed, laying her hand on his knee softly.

It was like sparks flew at that moment as if all the fluorescent lights in the bullpen could have exploded and she wouldn’t have even noticed. Captivated by Spencer's eyes as he gasped at her touch.

“Not opposed in the slightest,” he said softly as he held his own hand over hers.

She couldn’t help herself from smiling. “Well, I think I’m all done here if you want to come to my place for a movie?”

“Sure,” he replied, offering her a hand as they stood up together.

He returned his chair to his desk, both of them grabbing their coats and bags and rejoining at the door.

“I should go say goodnight to Penny,” Y/N said softly. “Wanna come?”

“Yeah,” he followed her through the door and down the hall to the tech room.

“Knock knock,” Y/N said as she walked through the open door. “Oh great and knowledgeable one, I’ve come with my nightly farewell.”

“Oh my knight, I shall miss you,” Penelope played along, sauntering over to her and wrapping her up in a hug. “I leave you with this until your return.”

“Through scorching deserts, and blistering winds, I will make it back to you, always,” she tried not to laugh as she hugged her back. “I also brought forth the jester.”

Spencer was laughing in the doorway as the two of them looked at him, “hi?”

“The pretty boy, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Um,” Y/N smiled, “Spencer and I are just going back for our nightly movie.”

Penelope looked at both of them, jaw slightly gaped, “nightly? I thought it was a case by case thing?”

“It’s a good excuse for us to talk,” Spencer smiled at her.

“Mhmm,” she smirked, “well have fun.”

She pulled Y/N back into another hug, hiding her face from Spencer, “I need all the dirty deets in the morning.”

Y/N smacked her arm softly as she pulled back, “goodnight pretty penny.”

“Farewell brave knight, handle with care, Jester,” Penelope pointed her finger at him, giving him a knowing glance.

“Yes, oh Knowledgeable one, always,” he blushed.

He reached out his hand for Y/N, interlocking their fingers as they left her office and headed towards the elevator. A rare moment of bravery on his part, holding hands like this didn’t spread a lot of germs.

“We’re going to have to discuss a lot of logistics like realistically this isn’t going to be just a fuck and oh look its a baby. This is a real live baby that we need to raise and care for,” she reminded him as the elevator doors shut.

“I’d like to be as involved as you’d let me be,” Spencer replied. “I don’t have to be 'dad' to them, I could be uncle Spence that’s fine too.”

“Oh no, you’d be Dad for sure,” she nudged him slightly. “I mean like, weekends and holidays and birthdays, your mom will want to see them surely, my parents will want to see them. Housing,” she looked at him horrified. “I have an apartment with 2 bedrooms, I don’t think I could let them sleep somewhere without me.”

“I have been looking at houses,” Spencer added before the doors opened to the garage, “you’re driving right?”

“Yeah, you were saying?” She replied, digging her keys out of her purse and leading him towards the car.

“Derek Morgan, I’m not sure if you’ve met him yet, he fixes up old homes in DC and Virginia now. He just finished one and I helped him with it. I think I’m going to buy it from him. It has 4 bedrooms, we could all live under the same roof? It would be easier to co-parent.”

She was amazed at how fast he adapted to this as if he’d been having the same thoughts she was having. At a certain point wanting kids becomes a pipe dream filled with desperation and emptiness, he looks like he’s experienced it too.

She opened her door and sat down before replying to him again. Thinking about how wonderful he was going to be during this process, “thank you, Spencer.”

“For what?” He asked as they both closed their doors.

She sighed, relaxing into her seat as she started the car. She turned to him softly, not wanting to cry as she spoke softly. “Being a mom is more of a dream to me than joining the BAU was, this is the best gift you could give me.”

He reached his hand out again, holding it softly. Running his thumb over her knuckles. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” she nodded softly.

He couldn’t make eye contact with her, staring at their hands as he rubbed her skin.

“Um, I’ve been pretty infatuated with you since you joined,” he let it out finally. Like a ton of bricks off his back he relaxed a bit, “after everything with Maeve, Cat and Max… oh god, and JJ... I was so worried that if I got too close to you I’d lose you. I tried to keep the feelings in, that's why I said what I did to Penelope. She knows how I feel about you.”

It was like fireworks were going off in her chest as the butterflies erupted inside of her. She sat up, turning to him more and ripping her hand from his grasp.

It startled him, he looked at her anxiously as if she was going to yell at him. But she placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss.

His arms snaked around her waist, wishing they could get closer if it wasn’t for the damn centre console of her car. Pressing their lips together, hard, as they breathed each other in. Desperation taking control, she wasn’t able to let go of him.

When she finally did pull away, however, the look on his face was priceless. Like expensive art, every line and freckle had a meaning. He was surprised, enamoured, grateful, desperate for more.

She smiled softly, rubbing her thumbs over his cheek. “Good, cause it would be awkward having your baby and not getting to love you every day too.”

taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years

Text

Bankrupt | dark!40′s!Stucky x reader

Your husband’s gambling addiction quickly got him in hot water with the mob, and you by extension. When some debt collectors come by to settle what is owed, you realize that you have a lot more to worry about than money problems.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: non con, dub con, DP, anal sex, coercion, a lil bit of knife play, basically everything awful you can imagine, please don’t read if you would find it upsetting.

@hnryycvll thanks for watching me write this live lol

moodboard by @nsfwsebbie

You knew something wasn’t right when Bruce left in the morning. He kissed you on the forehead, which was normal, but just before he stepped out for the day he turned back.

“You know I love you, right honey?” he asked nervously.

“Uh, yes, of course I do,” you answered with a raised brow, “I love you too.”

“Good,” he nodded, stepping out the door again.

“I’ll see you when you get home,” you smiled.

“Of course,” he agreed, and shut the front door behind him as he walked to his car.

You’d seen that look before, and you knew he’d done something. But it felt different this time. You wouldn’t be shocked if he came back with a few bruises, claiming he had tripped when you knew he had been roughed up by mob thugs over his gambling debt. He had told you before that he’d settled the debt and that it was going to be fine, but you weren’t sure you could really believe it anymore… after years of lying and stealing to feed his addiction, you had lost a lot of trust. But you always tried to stay positive.

That said, a knock at the door an hour later made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You really considered not answering it, and yet you were already unhooking the latch and turning the knob before you knew what you were doing.

Two men stood outside, dressed much nicer than a visit in this sort of neighborhood merited. You nearly had to crane your neck to look at them: they were so tall. And you could tell that underneath the three pieces, they were carrying a lot of muscle.

You’d seen guys like this hanging around before. You knew what they did.

“My husband isn’t home,” you instantly informed them.

The blonde one standing in the front smiled. The dark-haired one in the back took a last puff of a cigarette before dropping the butt and stomping it with his shoe.

“That’s no trouble,” the blonde explained. “Why don’t you let us in and we can talk to you?”

“You can go hassle him at work, if you want,” you shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“We’re not here for your husband, sweetcheeks,” the other one interjected with a tone of irritation.

“Just invite us in for a drink, won’t you? It’s hot out,” the blonde requested.

You didn’t get the sense you had much of a choice. You stepped back and opened the door. The two of them nodded as they filed in, giving your living space a cursory glance as you shut the door. You knew it wasn’t much. You hoped they felt guilty for taking all your money and leaving you with so little that you had to live in a place like this.

When you turned back to face them, you caught their glances moving up your body. You tried to ignore it.

“Do you want ice water? I think I might have some tea--” you began.

“It’s fine,” the blonde dismissed, “we’ll make this quick. We just need to have a little chat with you.”

“What about?” you asked nervously.

“Your husband owes a lot of money to my employers,” the dark-haired man explained through a thick Brooklyn accent.

“I don’t see why that’s my problem,” you frowned, crossing your arms.

“It’s about to be,” the blonde chimed in, his tone lacking in any sense of mocking or deridition… which somehow made it even more sinister.

You did your best to keep a brave face, not show any fear. You knew that’s what they wanted, and you had no intention of giving them anything they wanted.

“What, you gonna beat me up?” you asked incredulously, rolling your eyes.

“No, sweetheart, that’d be a waste of a pretty face…” the dark-haired man looked you up and down with a grin, “...and a great body.”

“Let’s start from the beginning,” the blonde suggested, cutting through the tension. “I’m Steve, and my associate here is Bucky. We’ve become quite acquainted with your husband.”

“Heard a lot about you,” the other-- Bucky, apparently-- added as he took a seat on your sofa like he owned the place.

“Only good things, I hope,” you chuckled nervously.

“Only great things,” Steve confirmed.

“Come sit on my lap, doll,” Bucky smiled, patting his leg.

“N-no, I’d better not,” you denied, stepping back only to bump into Steve’s towering form. He pressed his body against you and you gasped as you felt the hard outline of a gun by his waist.

“Go sit on Bucky’s lap, sweetheart,” Steve recommended with a low voice, his eyes scanning you hungrily.

You nodded a little as you obeyed, watching Bucky’s face as you uncomfortably stepped towards him and sat on his knees. He slipped an arm around your hips and pulled you back until you could feel what you hoped was a gun against your thigh.

“You seem like a good wife. Obedient,” Steve praised, stepping a little closer.

“Loyal,” Bucky added, his voice reverberating over your neck as you felt the heat of his gaze. “Stickin’ with him even when he spent all your money. You shouldn’t have to live like this.”

“Yes, well,” you swallowed, “marriage requires… sacrifice.”

“You’re more right than you know,” Steve laughed.

“I don’t underst--” you began.

“Buck, hold her legs open,” Steve commanded as he started to reach for his fly.

Before you had a chance to attempt to squirm, Bucky obeyed and grabbed your legs, wrenching them apart with a brutal strength that you had no chance against. Your skirt rolled up your thighs and you tried desperately to cover yourself but it was futile.

“No, please,” you began to beg, the illusion of fearlessness finally cracking.

“Does your husband ever get rough with ya?” Bucky asked with a low voice right against your ear that sent crawling chills up your spine strong enough to make your back arch. “This’ll be like that. Only better.”

“No, no please, you don’t have to do this,” you rushed as you saw Steve step forward, pulling his cock out from his trousers. You looked away, though as you did you realized you should look at it to prepare yourself as best you could. You gave it a glance only to whimper and look away again; it was big, and thick, and he was stroking it to its full size with ring-adorned hands. He laughed a little when he saw your intimidation.

“Don’t be scared, sweetheart, I bet you’ll like it.”

“Please, I’m sorry, I’ll get the money if you need it, just don’t--”

You were interrupted by Steve’s hand roughly grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look him in the eye.

“You think this is a negotiation?” he growled. “It’s not. The negotiation happened yesterday, with your husband. He traded you for forgiveness of his debt. Don’t you understand? It’s over. You’re ours now.”

Before you had even fully processed the meaning of his words, tears were welling in your eyes and you began to sob. “It’s not true,” you denied, “you’re lying. He would never…”

“I’m a lot of things but I’m no liar,” Steve frowned. “Buck was there-- he sold her right? You remember?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, “and pretty quick, too. It was his idea, actually. We didn’t even lay a hand on him before he offered you up. Showed us a picture and everything.”

You fought against Bucky’s grip again as you cried but it was useless: he managed to pull your legs up higher, hooking under your knees, and grab your wrists too. The position was uncomfortable but you couldn’t really worry about that as you screamed and cried at the feeling of betrayal. “No, it’s not true, it’s not true…” you sputtered, not making much sense anymore, and not really believing your own words.

“You look pretty when you cry, doll,” Bucky purred. You tried to kick at Steve and Bucky pulled at your legs harder, sending pain to your hips and causing you to yelp.

“Stop fucking fighting,” Steve hissed. “You understand that if your husband isn’t good for the deal he made, we’ll kill him, don’t you? So you’d better behave if you want to save his life.”

You froze. On one hand, this was the guy who had apparently traded you to these awful men as if you were his to give away, and you hated him for all the years of lying and sneaking around and, most notably, gambling away all your money until he was deep in the mob’s pocket.

On the other, you still, for some reason, loved him. You couldn’t stop yourself from loving him. You’d promised to stick by his side for richer or for poorer. You hadn’t known then that this was the poorest option, let alone one you would have to choose. But you couldn’t let these men kill him.

Steve held your face with his hands in a way that was both dominant and soothing-- or at least, an attempt at soothing.

“You’re going to be good, aren’t you? For your husband’s life?” Steve pressed.

You shivered a little, but took a deep breath and nodded. He smiled and patted you on the cheek.

He pulled a knife from his jacket and quickly sliced off your underwear. You sniffled as you tried to stop crying, fighting the urge to try to close your legs as Steve kneeled to look at you closer.

“Such a pretty little pussy,” he cooed. “You know, at first I wasn’t sure this was a fair trade. I mean, he owes us a lotta lettuce. But now I’m thinking he’s the one getting screwed.” Steve stood up and wiped a tear from your cheek. “You know, besides you of course.”

“Just get it over with,” you whispered. They both laughed.

“What’s with the pessimism, sweetheart? Behave yourself and I’ll make it good for you.”

You whimpered a little as he rubbed the head of his cock through your folds, focusing instead on the hard grip Bucky had on your arms and how it would probably bruise tomorrow-- it wasn’t a pleasant feeling either, but much easier to handle than a near-stranger’s cock about to plunge into you.

He had to push pretty hard to get it to go in, barreling past the resistance of your walls until he was sliding into you. You gasped and cried out, feeling Bucky’s cock harden underneath you in response to the sound.

“Fuck, so tight,” Steve groaned. “If I had a wife like you I’d’ve never let you go, sweetheart. Wouldn’t even let you leave the house. Not when I could fuck this perfect little pussy all day long.”

“It’s that good?” Bucky asked with a husky voice.

Steve buried himself in you completely and savored the feeling of your muscles fluttering around him. You bit your lip and fought your tears.

“You’ll get your turn, Buck,” Steve promised, “but I can’t promise I can give her to you in one piece.”

He pulled back out nearly all the way before slamming back in, making you choke on a scream. He set a brutally hard, yet slow, pace as he fucked you senseless, stretching you open more than you’d thought was possible. You hoped you weren’t as loud as you seemed to sound in your own head.

“You like my cock, don’t you? See, this was what you always needed,” Steve purred. “A real man. Somebody to fuck you like a whore, just how you like it, huh?”

“Hnng,” you gurgled in lieu of a reply.

You relaxed into Bucky’s embrace as best you could, letting Steve use your body and hoping it would all be over soon.

“You ever gonna let me get a piece of that?” Bucky growled at Steve.

“Soon,” Steve nodded breathlessly, “just a little more… fuck, it’s so good.”

Steve made a noise when he pulled out like he was mustering all his restraint to do it. He gripped his cock once it was free, stepping back and watching Bucky adjust your body on top of him as he freed his cock from his suit pants.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be good, right?” Bucky pressed as he angled you to slip onto his cock. You nodded feverishly as he finally pushed into you, rougher than Steve had, making you wince. “Oh god,” he groaned, “you’re so wet. Your pussy feels amazing, doll. Jesus.”

You felt an unexpected sense of pride warm your chest. You refused to believe that you actually wanted to make him feel good. You decided it was just a tactical thing-- the more you pleasured him, the sooner this would be done with.

“Good, right?” Steve asked with a smile.

“So fucking good,” Bucky agreed, leaning you forward a little. “Come on, baby, bounce on that cock,” he encouraged. You set your legs on the ground and balanced your hands on his knees, lifting and dropping your hips with stuttered breaths as his cock brushed against something inside you that made your legs shake and quiver.

Bucky leaned back and watched you work, occasionally taking a moment to squeeze or slap your ass. His hands wandered over your back, your shoulders, even your thighs; Bucky’s touch explored you until you felt his thumb circle over the puckered opening of your ass and you jumped a little in shock.

“Not there,” you begged, stopping your movements. “Please, not there.”

“Wherever I want,” he corrected sternly. You whimpered a little as you felt him press ever so slightly, your tight rim expanding to accept the tip of his thumb.

“Say it,” he demanded.

You forced your eyes shut. “Wherever you want,” you repeated. “Wherever you want, Bucky.”

He hummed in approval, and pushed his digit in to the first knuckle. You suppressed a gasp.

“Did your husband ever fuck you here? Or did he try, but you wouldn’t let him?”

“He never… we never…” you began, shaking your head.

“Seems like a waste,” he replied in a low voice, pushing in a little deeper. “You’ve got such a great ass. First thing I noticed when I walked in.”

“Is this what you were thinking about?” you asked with a gulp. “Is that what you wanted to do the whole time?”

He chuckled darkly, and it was answer enough.

He pulled his cock from your pussy and you hated that you’d supplied plenty of lubrication all on your own. He held you up as he started to press the head against your tighter opening, watching himself penetrate you with dark eyes.

He pushed his hips forward, adding more and more pressure until he was able to break past the tight ring of muscle, and you gasped like the wind had been knocked out of you.

“Fuck!” he yelped, his head falling back against the top of the couch. “So fucking tight.”

It stung like nobody’s business but you tried to keep your breathing steady as he pulled you down to the base of his cock, which was apparently even thicker and so much harder than you seemed to remember.

“Aw, I’ll be gentle, baby,” Bucky soothed as you whimpered, moving you on top of him slowly. “I don’t wanna break you. Yet.”

The pain took what must have been hours to subside, your toes involuntarily curling into the shag rug-- which made you realize your shoes must have fallen off at some point. Even when it hurt, you felt the pleasure underneath it all, his cock managing to stimulate places inside you even through the layer of your body in the way.

“She’s dripping, Buck,” Steve observed with a predatory grin. “She loves it.”

Bucky slipped his fingers between your legs and felt the wetness for himself, indeed as plentiful as Steve had promised, reacting with a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “Fuck, you like my cock in your ass, don’t you?”

You shook your head even as you felt your hips moving with his involuntarily.

“Just admit it,” he growled, wrapping a hand tightly around your neck. “Admit that you love getting fucked in the ass, because you’re my dirty little slut.”

You sobbed, choking from the tightening grip on your throat. “Bucky,” you whimpered, trying to plead with him but not getting very far into it.

“Do it for your dear old husband, huh? God, what would he think if he saw you know?”

You closed your eyes, trying not to imagine the answer to that question.

“He’d probably be wishing he’d known sooner that his innocent little wife liked it up the ass.”

They laughed and you winced, feeling Bucky graze his teeth over the shell of your ear.

“Say it, doll,” he whispered, “say it just how I told you to.”

“I…” you began, but trailed off. You yelped when he slapped you right between your legs, sending a shock of pleasure-pain through your body. “I love getting fucked in the ass,” you finally stuttered out, “because I’m your-- your dirty little slut.”

Bucky moaned right into your ear, thrusting faster and deeper into you. “Yeah, that’s right. Dirty mouth on ya, too. Gonna fuck you there another day.”

“Please,” you whimpered, not entirely sure what you were asking for.

Every slam of his hips into yours made your body shake, and you whined when he stopped thrusting to hold you down and grind against you.

You moaned with every movement, unable to stop the tears from flowing as the pain and the pleasure became indistinguishable.

You were so lost in it that you didn’t realize Steve was standing in front of you again until you felt his fingers pressing into your pussy. You were so wet that it took almost nothing, but you still gasped.

“Damn, so wet for us. Such a good girl,” Steve groaned.

Bucky pulled your legs up again, stilling inside you to hold you open for Steve.

“You can let go of her now, I reckon,” Steve informed Bucky. “She’s done fightin’. Look at her, she loves it.”

Bucky nodded and let go of your legs and arms. You did try to shut your legs a bit, not out of any notion that this would stop: you were just trying to relieve the soreness in your hips.

It didn’t last long as Steve pushed your legs apart, freeing Bucky to wrap his arms around your waist.

You hadn’t even known it was possible to fit two cocks at once, especially two cocks like this.

You made a noise that was purely inhuman as Steve pressed into you again, feeling full beyond the brim, incapable of taking anymore-- and there was still so much of him left.

“I can’t,” you began to protest, but it fell on deaf ears as Steve continued to slide into your pliant body. “It’s too much! Steve!”

That got his attention, and he looked down at you with bared teeth. “You’re gonna take it, whore. You’re gonna take our fucking cocks. And you’re gonna say my name just like that when I come in this ruined little hole.”

You sobbed as he bottomed out, feeling your holes clenching around them as you struggled to fit their girth.

Both of the men groaned a bit as they felt your struggle, Bucky licking and kissing at your neck while Steve tore your blouse open and roughly palmed at your tits.

“So fucking perfect,” Bucky praised before pushing your face to the side, pulling you into a deep and sloppy kiss. You reciprocated instantly, though you struggled to put much thought into it as all your attention was on the peculiar and powerful feeling of two men inside you at once.

You heard your moans get louder and more unabashed as they were lost in Bucky’s eager mouth, echoing back until you weren’t sure who you were hearing anymore.

Steve’s thumb roughly rubbed at your clit and you nearly screamed from the overwhelming sensations flowing through your body; your head fell back on Bucky’s shoulder again, who kissed your temple and cheek in a way much too delicate for the situation.

“Didn’t I say I’d make it good for you?” Steve growled. “Tell me how good it feels.”

You would look back on this moment and try to convince yourself that you were immersed in your role, that you were just saying whatever he wanted to hear for your own safety. You would repeat over and over internally that you hated it and that you were just a hell of an actress with a strong sense of self-preservation. But you would know that it was a lie. Because what you said next was the honest-to-God truth, and deep down, all three of you knew it.

“It feels so fucking good!” you screamed. “Please don’t stop, oh my god, I’m going to-- fuck!”

“Yeah baby, come on my cock,” Steve praised. “His cock, too. Come for us.”

“Oh fuck,” you moaned, wrapping your arms around Steve’s neck to brace yourself, “yes, yes, yes!”

Every part of you tensed up and tightened, your entire body like a spring pulled to its limit. And as the tension released and you felt yourself shatter in their arms, a gush of wetness pulsed out of you.

“Fuck,” Steve grinned, “look at our girl, coming so hard for us.”

“Bet her husband’s never made her do that,” Bucky laughed. “She’s clenching around me, Steve, I don’t think I can take much more.”

“Want us to come in you, baby?” Steve growled, nipping at your jaw. “You wanna be so full of us, don’t you? Wanna make us come?”

“Yes,” you sobbed, exhausted and weak, limp in his arms, “yes, Steve, please…”

Bucky lost it first, holding you so tight that you could barely breathe. He babbled praise against your ear as he spilled inside you, telling you how good you were for him, how you were gonna make him feel good from now on, whenever he wanted. You could barely process that as you felt Steve follow suit, moaning weakly as he pumped into you with stuttering thrusts, painting your insides with his spend.

“Yes,” Steve hissed as he began to come down from his high, both of them buried in you as deep as they could fit, all three of you panting like you’d just run a marathon.

You winced as Steve pulled out of you, your face feeling hot as you felt his cum begin to leak out of you.

Bucky helped you stand up and adjusted your clothes a little until you were covered up again… but you were sure you must’ve looked completely fucked anyways. He scooped you up into his arms; an hour ago it would’ve terrified you, but now you leaned into his shoulder and curled up into a ball in his embrace. He carried you out of the house and laid you down in the backseat of their car, with a tenderness you wished he had shown a little sooner.

He sat in the back with you while Steve drove you to Bucky’s apartment: your new home, they informed you excitedly.

The movement of the car rocked you to a place between sleep and wakefulness, and you tried not to listen to the men talking about the plans they had for you, or the ‘assignments’ they needed to complete this week. Steve talked about needing to go out of town, and they decided that he would take you with him to relieve his stress. “I’ll miss you though,” Bucky cooed, stroking your hair.

You were crying but there were no sobs, just tears flowing silently as you tried to think about the lines they were leaving on your face and not the fluids leaking from the rest of your abused body.

When the car stopped and you were carried into Bucky’s apartment, you felt your locket slip from your neck and fall into a grate. A picture of your husband was inside that locket. You got the sense you wouldn’t be needing it anymore.

#dark!stucky #dark!stucky x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x reader #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky smut #dark!steve smut #chris evans x y/n #chris evans imagines #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans headcanons #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan headcanons #sebastian stan imagine

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stevesnailbat · 3 years

Text

stevesnailbat’s gif tutorial - the basics

hii all <3 here’s my attempt at a tutorial for how i make my gifs!! this is going to be split into 3 sections: cropping + framing, brightening + coloring, and sharpening! please feel free to send any kind of questions my way if something isn’t clear :)

i’ll show you how to go from this:

to this!

also: this tutorial assumes that you know how to d*wnl*ad clips onto your computer/have a way of getting your clips into the proper .mov format

cropping + framing

when importing my frames into ps, i choose the section of the recording that i want & check “limit to every 2 frames” to make sure i’m not left with a ton of frames to delete. since i do every 2 frames, i put my frame delay at 0.05. to set the frame delay, you can select all frames by clicking on the first frame, shifting and selecting the down arrow on the last frame, selecting Other... and inputting 0.05 as the frame delay.

the frames & frame delay should look like this after setting them (click for better quality):

when cropping my gifs, i make sure that i have it set to W X H X Resolution instead of Ratio, and typically crop to 540 x 305 or 540 x 405 px (540 x 305 for this gif)

typically, i keep my gifs between 40 to 100 frames, since that’s usually what stays under the size cap on tumblr.

brightening + coloring

after getting my gifs to the proper sizing/framing, i start to work on Curve and Level layers. typically, i do 1-2 layers of each, and press the Auto setting on each, which puts the best settings for the scene on each. sometimes the Curve layers need adjustment, and i’ll add points to make sure the contrast looks normal on the whole gif. after Curves and Levels, it’ll be brightened and should look more clear, like this:

once i get the Levels and Curves where i want, i add Brightness + Contrast and Vibrance layers. usually, my Brightness + Contrast is around +20 to +50 for each (B:+30, C:+40 for this). Vibrance layers depend on the type of set i’m doing, but usually i’ll have Vibrance around +30 to +80, and Saturation around +10 to +30 (V:+60, S:+10 for this). after these steps, it looks like this:

now for my FAVORITE part: Selective Color!!

when using Selective Color, i try to focus each layer on a specific color/color scheme/point on the gif. usually i start with reds and yellows, since those are the ones that change A LOT in the gif. to brighten them, i decrease the cyan levels and increase magenta or yellow to my liking as i go. i try to saturate the colors a lot, since that lets you isolate the colors easier and makes it easier to make more intense colors later on. after my first Selective Color layer with only Red and Yellow Color channels changed, it looks like this:

in Properties within Selective Color 1, the Red settings are: Cyan -22, Magenta -8, Yellow +50, White +0. the Yellow settings are Cyan -100, Magenta -21, Yellow +100, White +0.

for Selective Color 2, i messed with the Cyan, Blue and Magenta settings. to brighten these, i typically turn the yellow levels down and increase magentas and cyans. with this layer, i wanted the Magentas to be closer to a violet/pink color rather than a red color. but, I wanted El’s skin to stay closer to red, so I used a layer mask over her, feathering (to 7.5px) around her silhouette to make the layer mask look more natural (i will likely make a tut on layer masks soon if that’s confusing!). after Selective Color 2 was finished, it looked like this:

in Properties within Selective Color 2, the Cyan settings are: Cyan +100, Magenta +26, Yellow -100, White +0. the Blue settings are Cyan +65, Magenta +100, Yellow -100, White +0. the Magenta settings are Cyan -100, Magenta +100, Yellow +0, White +0.

for my last layer, Selective Color 3, i wanted to saturate the reds and whites more by adjusting Red, Yellow, Magenta, and White. again, i was fine with the way that El looked, but wanted to highlight the rest of the red, so i used a layer mask over her (feathering at 12.4px). after this last layer, the finished coloring looked like this:

in Properties within Selective Color 3, the Red settings are Cyan +8, Magenta +6, Yellow +26, White +0. the Yellow settings are Cyan -25, Magenta +3, Yellow +100, White +0. the Magenta are Cyan -31, Magenta +26, Yellow +27, White +0. the White settings are Cyan +0, Magenta +0, Yellow +0, White -34.

sharpening

the last steps of my gif process is sharpening! to group the layers into timeline, go to Select > All Layers, then click on the symbol above the frames that looks like three horizontal lines (shown circled in purple below), and click Convert to Video Timeline (shown below as well). this should convert it to a timeline, which can then be used to Smart Sharpen the gif. to Smart Sharpen, select Filter > Convert for Smart Filters, then back to Filters > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. within Smart Sharpen, i do two layers, one with the Amount set to 10 and the Radius set to 10.0. for the other, i set it to have the Amount at 300, and the Radius at 0.4 (both settings shown below).

after sharpening, the gif should be finished and look like this:

once finished and ready to save, select File > Export > Save For Web (Legacy) and save on that screen, name it (and make sure you keep the .gif ending) and you’re DONE!

i hope this is helpful and that it makes gifmaking feel a little less intimidating! my dms are open for questions if anything wasn’t clear :)

#ps tutorial #photoshop tutorial #ps reference #photoshop #photoshop help #jen's tutorials

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moon-light-jukebox · 3 years

Text

see? - [Reid x Reader] - Chapter 3

masterlist

previous chapter // series index // next chapter

Summary: Months after Reader left, Reid has tried to put his life back together. He’s never stopped trying to find Reader, but he may find her in the worst way possible.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k for Chapter 3

Content Warning: Normal Criminal Minds stuff. Mentions of drug addiction. This series has a villain, and he harms women. There is no s*xual assault, but there is brief talk of torture, and then the death of the victims. Spoiler: Our unsub targets pregnant women, one of the infants does not survive. Reader and her baby are fine. I don't go into detail, but if you need to skip this, I understand.

A/n: How can I ever thank you all enough for being so patient with me? That being said, this chapter does end on a cliffhanger that you probably saw coming if you read “River” by @yours-truly-r. She shared this plot with me, so this is my version. I’ll try my best not to make you wait too long for chapter 4. Chapter 3 & 4 are in Spencer’s point of view, but the remainder of the series will be in Reader’s POV.

-- Linear Progression --

(Spencer’s POV)

The night we came back from my first case with the BAU, Morgan declared that he was going to a bar near his apartment to "get lucky." When I pointed out the fact that it was almost 2 am, he had told me, "time is an illusion, Pretty Boy."

That was the first time he called me pretty boy, along with the first time I tried to explain a theoretical concept he had no interest in hearing.

He was right to a degree. The way we understand time is an illusion. Time doesn’t happen in the linear way that we as a society perceive it to. The physics of time are still widely debated, but the running hypothesis is that everything that has ever happened is still happening right now. Every single moment in time is happening all at once, and it always will be.

Morgan didn’t “get lucky” that night, but he did give me a ride back to my apartment. I think that was the beginning of our friendship; I had never been able to understand the social constructs of relationships and friendships, but I think he felt some sort of responsibility for the skinny kid with glasses who was babbling about the physics of time at 3 am.

My friendship with Derek Morgan was one of the most important of my life.

Which is why I wasn't going to murder him for banging on my door at 7 am.

“Open up, Pretty Boy!”

Grumbling, I got out of bed and padded down the hallway towards my living room where Morgan was pounding on the door so hard, I was concerned it was going to fly off its hinges.

“If you break my door, you’re gonna fix it,” I muttered out when I finally pulled the door open.

The man who was the closest thing to a brother I had just smiled at me. “I restore houses, kid. It’d be an improvement.”

Smirking, I waved him into my apartment. In the months since…Since February, Morgan had made it a habit of coming by several times a week whenever we were in town. I don’t know if the rest of the team knew he did it, I don’t know if they were as worried about me as he was, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.

“Coffee?” I asked, making my way into the kitchen.

"We'll grab some on the way," he said, flopping down on my couch. "We have a case; I told Hotch I'd swing by and get you. It's wheels up as soon as we get there and finish the briefing."

I frowned. “I didn’t get any message.”

“I know. I asked Garcia to let me wake you.” He turned his head around to look at me. “You haven’t been sleeping, kid.”

He wasn’t wrong. “It’s…I’m trying, Derek.”

I didn’t need to say it, because he knew it. Much like time, recovery isn’t a linear process. You start, you stumble, you go back, sometimes you go up then down. It’s an imperfect journey because there isn’t a finish line; addiction can’t be beaten, only beaten back.

Derek Morgan had been beside me through every step of my recovery.

Lumbering off the couch, he walked over to stand before me. “Reid, you’re doing the best you can. Everyone stumbles.”

I shook my head. “It’s different. I can…I can still see it. I can still see it all, Morgan.”

I could still see the look on Ben’s face when he found the vials of Dilaudid I had hidden all around my apartment. I could still remember the look on Hotch’s face when he told me she was gone. I could still see the anger on Garcia’s face when she refused to help me find her.

Most of all, I remember how y/n looked when I told her I would kill her, give up her precious life, for one more moment with Maeve. Every morning, right before I wake up, that memory flashes behind my eyes.

I’ve called in every favor I’m owed, reached out to every connection; no one could find her. She vanished.

I quickly realized the only way she could vanish like that is if she had help from inside the bureau, and if I had to guess, I’m sure I know who helped her. If she went to all these lengths, she didn’t want to be found, least of all by me.

"We'll find her, Spencer," Morgan said gently, pulling me from my thoughts.

He said the words to comfort me, but even he knew they weren’t true. No one would find y/n y/l/n until she wanted to be found.

Nodding my head, I made my way back towards my bedroom to get ready for the case.

Making amends is very big in the recovery process. I wanted to make amends to y/n, and while I wanted that to be in the traditional sense, I settled for a symbolic one.

I tried to make myself into the man she thought I was before that night. Every time I felt the itch crawl up my spine, I thought of her face. It didn't make the craving go away; it just made it easier to bear.

I didn’t deserve to have her back in my life, but I wanted to be someone who did.

After I had finished getting ready, I made my way over to my bedside table to pick up the coin I carried with me everywhere, running my fingers over the edges before placing it in my pocket.

Two hundred and forty-seven days sober, and each one of them was for her.

We never made it to the bullpen that morning. Hotch called and informed us that it was wheels up "immediately," and that we would debrief on the plane. Morgan and I were the last members of the team to arrive. He took a seat on the couch beside Callahan while I opted to sit at the table across from Hotch and JJ.

“Garcia is going to be out for the remainder of the week. She has the flu,” our unit chief informed us, his eyes fixed on the tablet in front of him.

Morgan toyed with his phone, no doubt trying to text his ‘baby girl’ before take-off. “Who is going to be running things from here since she’s out? Kevin?”

Hotch nodded, but I couldn’t help but notice he seemed distracted. “He’s the most familiar with Garcia’s systems.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days,” Rossi muttered just a bit too loudly, earning a mock glare from Hotch, a confused look from Kate, an eye roll from Morgan and JJ, and a soft huff of laughter from me.

“Let’s get started,” Hotch ordered, drawing all of our focus back to the present. “The Oregon State Police have requested our help.”

I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the tablet in front of me, further proof Garcia wasn’t on this case. Despite how mad she was at me over Y/n, she still always accommodated my wishes for paper files.

The state police?” Morgan asked. “Not the locals?”

"No," Hotch answered, right as I brought up an image on my screen. "He's not sticking to one county."

I heard a strangled gasp from JJ, but I didn't need to look up to know why. “How many?” I asked.

“When the original request was made two women had been abducted. Both of them were pregnant, days from giving birth, and both from the same town of Silverton, Oregon. The first victim was Iris Jenkins. She was a 31-year-old woman, and she was 40 weeks and 2 days gestation when she was taken by the unsub. The M.E. estimates he held her for less than 24 hours before she died.”

“The baby?” JJ asked, her voice thick with emotion.

“He was left outside of a local hospital in Silverton. He was completely unharmed. The next intended victim is Nancy Williamson. She was abducted outside her workplace. Also 40 weeks pregnant with a boy.”

“Could that be a coincidence?”

Hotch still didn’t look up from his tablet. “It could have been before the latest victim.”

“But Nicole Williamson escaped?” Morgan asked. “That’s lucky. Did she give a description of the guy?”

“No, she said he kept her blindfolded and bound to a chair.”

That caused me to pause. "That doesn't make sense. Why would the unsub blindfold them if he plans on killing them anyway?"

Rossi spoke for the first time. “Psychological torture? Sensory deprivation?”

I thought about that as I swiped through the crime scene photos; pausing when I saw a photograph of a letter on the screen. "He makes them write letters?”

“Just the first victim and the third. The one that got away was only held for 12 hours.”

I frowned. “Is this blood? Or just red ink?”

“The first is red ink, the second letter is still being processed.”

It was obvious based on the letter spacing and how many loops were in the letters that a woman wrote this letter. Based on the contents of the letter, I could also assume she was under duress.

Hotch spoke again, pulling my focus. “Morgan, I'd like for you and JJ to drive up to Silverton. Visit Miss Williamson and ask if she's up for a cognitive interview, then visit the M.E., ask him if he remembers anything about the first victim.”

“Where was the…” JJ’s question trailed off when he got to the same image Kate’s hand had been frozen over for the last 47 seconds, the same photo that was described in the incident report that Hotch had on his screen.

My unit chief, my friend, cleared his throat before he spoke. “Kayla Whitmore was found an hour ago in Eugene, Oregon. The autopsies are already underway, and the scene is being processed.”

“The cause of death seems pretty apparent,” Morgan said with a look of disgust on his face.

"The time between this most recent kill and the last abduction is much shorter. We need to move fast," Hotch said, his voice grave. "Kate, I'd like for you to come with me to the FBI satellite office in Bend, that's where we're landing. Kayla Whitmore's credit card was used to buy gas right outside the town limits. Rossi, I'd like for you and Reid to ride out to Eugene. It should be undisturbed."

"I already don't understand this guy," Rossi muttered. "The first baby survives, the third doesn't. The second victim is blindfolded, but it doesn't appear the others were. He makes them write their own letters. Then he uses the third victim's credit card. This behavior…it's erratic."

“Is the message on the wall the same in both crime scenes?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

The media hadn’t named our unsub yet, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long, especially once word of Kayla Whitmore reached the public. This type of violence always draws attention.

Rossi was moving around the room, silent, but his eyes moving rapidly over everything. “He’s a cocky son of a bitch, I’ll give him that.”

I nodded. “Do we have the original note?” One of the deputies brought over an evidence bag, inside of it was the wrinkled piece of paper. “Have we analyzed this yet?”

The man nodded. “It’s red ink, just like the last.”

"It makes sense; blood might start to coagulate and make it more difficult to work with. Rossi, come here." I called, offering him the note.

“Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked,” he read. “It sounds biblical.”

“It is. It’s Psalm 82, verses 3 through 4.”

“Was the first note biblical?”

“The first victim was made to write, ‘Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.’ That’s from Ephesians. There are similar themes in both letters.”

“So, he’s perverting the bible to fit his own fucked up narrative? How original.” The older man handed the paper back to me. “We have to find out how he’s choosing them.”

My gaze moved over to the right wall of the room. "Did the unsub leave any prints when he wrote on the wall?"

It wasn't the first message I'd seen written in blood, but I don't think it's something you ever get used to. “’Do you see this, son of man?’ could be another biblical reference. It’s Ezekiel chapter 8, verse 17. “Do you see this, son of man? Yet you will see still greater abominations than these.’”

“So, are the children abominations? Or the mothers?” The deputy said quietly.

“The mothers,” I answered. “He doesn’t harm the children. I think it must go against his…moral code.”

The deputy scoffed behind me, and I was inclined to agree; the idea that someone could do something like this and have a moral code was almost impossible to imagine.

But devils hide in plain sight all the time.

“His rage is escalating,” I pointed out.

I heard the deputy ask Rossi what that meant.

“This guy is a bum,” the man who developed the art of profiling explained. "He can't get a girlfriend, and he has this idea in his mind that it’s the women’s fault. He thinks women owe him sex, love, whatever he wants.”

I walked away from the wall, turning to face the two men. “He thinks they’re dirty, unclean. It’s why he makes them write the note. By making them say they deserved what he did to them, he’s humiliating them even after death.”

The deputy’s face was pale as he survived the scene around him. “Why does he make them leave the messages in their own blood?”

“Only one message is from them,” I replied, gesturing to the evidence bag. “The message in the blood is from the unsub.”

Before we exited the room, I turned back to that message again, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Both victims had been discovered in the exact same way. The women were naked, stabbed multiple times, but with no signs of sexual assault. They were positioned in the middle of the blood-soaked mattress, their arms spread wide.

He had left the same message on the walls of the room, written in the blood of the woman he killed.

“Do you see this, son of man? Do you see?”

“The media is calling him The Prophet.”

Rossi scoffed. “I bet it was that wet behind the ears deputy who leaked the note and told him the kid’s biblical theories.”

Rossi and I had arrived at the FBI office in Bend, Oregon about an hour ago. Kate and Hotch had already set up; JJ and Morgan were on their way back from Silverton now.

“So, what do we know about this jag-off?” Rossi questioned, staring at the evidence board.

Hotch came to stand at the head of the conference table, his eyes sharp, his voice clipped. "Reid, Dave, what did the M.E. say about the Eugene autopsies?”

"He said he suspected it was a botched c-section. Kayla was just over 40 weeks pregnant, but he said it's not uncommon for first-time mothers to go up to 42 weeks.”

“I know that’s right,” I heard JJ mutter from the speaker placed in the center of the table.

“Indicates a lack of medical knowledge,” Morgan offered. “Because we know this guy isn’t squeamish.”

I agreed with my friend but didn't comment on it; my mind already on another topic. "What's interesting is that Kayla had an anterior placenta, meaning it attached to the front of her uterus. Usually, the placenta attaches to the posterior wall, meaning it's more towards her back. Because of the unusual placement of the placenta, I think that the death of this fetus was accidental."

“It wasn’t a fetus, Reid,” Kate snapped. “It was a baby.”

I cleared my throat, meeting her angry gaze. I knew Callahan was the guardian of a young girl, and based on my years working with fellow agents who were also parents, I knew it was best not to argue about definitions and semantics. "I'm sorry, Kate," I murmured.

Her gaze softened. "It's fine. Sorry. This case is just…this is a lot." She looked down to swipe across her tablet screen. "This child was a boy too?"

I nodded. “All three of the victims were pregnant with boys.”

“So, he wants boys?”

Rossi turned to Kate. “He wants mothers of boys. Probably his way of killing his mother over and over again.”

“But how does he know the babies are boys?” JJ asked.

“So, what do they have in common?” Hotch asked. “Let’s add Nicole Williamson into the mix too, what do we have?”

“There were quotes from the bible in the two complete notes. Those specific verses are often referenced when they speak about protecting children,” I said, my eyes moving over the files. “The women were all in their 20’s. They were all at least 39 weeks pregnant, and...huh, there’s not a father named in any of the medical charts.”

“But how does he know that!” JJ huffed again in frustration.

“And are we sure this unsub is a guy?” Callahan questioned. “There was no sign of sexual assault.”

“If we follow statistics, women take babies, and men take children. With that in mind, it would be safe to assume this was a woman, but the amount of rage we’re seeing makes me think it’s a man.” I turned my back to the team, my eyes moving over the crime scene photos. "The letter was written under duress, but the language is very misogynic. Based on the information Kevin gathered about Kayla's online life, she had a normal amount of self-esteem. It's out of character that she'd talk about herself this way. By all accounts, she was excited for the baby. It's also incredibly difficult to stab someone 54 times. All the women would have fought him until the end. He'd have to be stronger to subdue her. It's a biological instinct, mothers' will stop at nothing to protect their children."

Hotch had pulled out his phone before I finished speaking, dialing Kevin Lynch to give him the criteria of the person we were searching for. "We need women in the Bend, Oregon area that are close to giving birth. There will not be fathers listed on the medical charts. She'll be at least 39 weeks into her pregnancy."

“Alright, so that would leave us with…” Kevin wasn’t able to finish his sentence before an alarm started blaring over the speaker, almost drowning out Kevin’s yelp of surprise.

“What is it?” Hotch asked. “Did something happen?”

"I…I don't know, sir," Kevin answered after he had finally gotten the alarm to quiet. "I was running the search, and…it triggered some sort of system-wide alarm. It completely locked me out of Penny’s system.”

Morgan clicked his tongue. “That doesn’t make any sense. Penelope wouldn’t set some alarm without a reason.”

“Wait. Kevin, was there any sort of message that came up when you triggered the alarm?” Hotch asked, his tone urgent.

There was a weird tension on Hotch’s face while he waited for Kevin to reply. “Yeah, uh, just a dialogue box that says ‘Nightingale.’”

“Nightingale?” Kate asked. “Isn’t that the…”

Hotch didn't reply; he hung up abruptly while Kevin was still speaking. I felt a chill run down my spine when I noticed his hands trembled slightly.

“What is it, Hotch?” Rossi asked urgently.

But he never got a chance to answer; a deputy stormed into the room. "We just got a report of an abandoned car outside of a grocery store about half a mile from here. It's registered to a young woman, and there was an empty infant car seat strapped in the back."

Hotch took the paper from him but didn't look at it. His eyes were screwed shut, and his shoulders were tense.

I heard when the voice spoke on the other end of the line. I heard the deep breath Hotch let out before he spoke.

“Penelope, I need to know where y/n is.”

----------

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