The most terrifying creature of all

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it genuinely kills me very slowly to think that some people can only ever think of jack as the destiel kid and not like an actual person with a myriad of maladjustments or silly funny personality quirks. like he has a whole special red and white fleece lined Christmas jacket and is canonically acknowledged as looking like a stupid hot white boy without any thoughts behind his eyes. He killed a whole fucking archangel and then decided that he really wanted to try making some friends like a week later. they wanna be normal and nice so bad and pretend to be some normal small town boy next door all the time but they were literally so angry once that it took three gunshots fired in the back to make him calm and reasonable.

he stress eats and stays in their room for weeks on end when they’re depressed or upset. they line their shoes up and fold their shirts and wear bright yellow vans and red hi-tops. he’s narratively paralleled to Anakin but his favorite character is Ahsoka. he pretended to be a coke addict and pretended to be a pretty new boy next door again to flirt with a hopelessly romantic girl. women want him and he’s absolutely clueless about it. women and men and probably fish fear him too. he dresses like a combination between an elderly man and a 70’s sitcom hippie. he was literally called Bieber and Suite Life. they like stripe patterns and Hawaiian pizza and movies and computers.

they’re literally an autistic person who just explodes shit when they get overstimulated. They watch riverdale and constantly sweep their hair back in a specific stylistic choice bc he likes looking like that. he fucking decapitated a whole Gorgon and then stole the guy’s snake as a trophy. he says shut up when he’s mad and calls things stupid and says they suck. he’s a teenage girl. he’s. A Teenage boy. He’s non-binary. He sat on the throne of god in grass stained jeans and clunky grandpa sneakers and left it all behind without even blinking as soon as his shitty bunker home called out to him. He sticks his tongue out when he’s focused on something and his left eye pulls up into a squint when he smiles reallt wide and his smile is crooked and he has sleepy eyelids . They decided to defy death herself just to rescue someone he mildly remembered caring about once and then blackmailed a reaper into helping with said rescue plan.

He got turned into the tiniest ugliest dog ever and got a thermometer shoved up his ass in the same episode where he’s narratively symbolized by the ouroboros symbol and makes the deliberate choice of destroying his soul just to selfishly keep his family bc he legitimately cannot handle thinking about losing them without going insane. his nicknames are sweetheart and darling boy and pal and buddy and Jackie Boy and slugger and he apologized to a girl for upsetting her like two episodes after ripping a man’s heart out and eating it raw. He literally actively wants to be a silly little guy that everyone likes but he’s so insane and unwell at the same time. he’s the best character ever and I need the entire world to understand this and to see him as more than just the destiel baby or I will also explode. .

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

the way i gotta suppress the urge to be annoying and stop every few hundred words to show yall snippets like hey! hey look how fucked up! hey look how sad! hey look how emotional! hey! hey look!

anyway we at 4k words now and the mood has Shifted

anyway im looking for a book recommendation.

Genre: horror / dark fantasy

Specifically: there should be a Creature OR witchcraft OR at least a very convincing threat that looks like one of those things (but isn't) and that makes the characters question their sanity. Bonus points if it isn't your average vampire or werewolf but something more unique like a changeling or smth like that, something that you wouldn't necessarily expect or something entirely new

Vibe: scary as fuck, like actually horrifying. Not necessarily shocking or with a lot of gore and murder because that doesn't really bother me but like Dark Themes instead. (Example: Pet Sematary terrified me because of the portrayal of grief and how far you're willing to go to deal with it. I also loved the dragged out portrayal of guilt and dealing with the emotional consequences of your own actions in The Secret History)

Nitpicky stuff:

- I would prefer it to be set in the US (southern gothic vibes, urban decay, dark americana)

- should be set after at the earliest 1970ish (no historical fiction)

- would be great if it included themes of grief / generational and-or inherited trauma / incest / guilt / self-fulfilling prophecies / substance abuse / religion or religious trauma

- female protagonist is preferred but anything else wouldn’t be a deal breaker

- you know I like lgbt representation so that would be great but I take what I can get

- I do enjoy a well written plot twist it has to be said

- doesn't have to have a happy ending (just a good one) but I don't really like open endings

(I never watched Sex and the City when it was on, but I'm well into Season 2 and Lisa Gilroy's impression of Steve is haunting me beyond words!!!!!!)

Remember when John journaled Dean's birthdays for 20 years?

Dean turns 5 today. He saw me kill a man a while back, and I hope he's forgotten about that.

Dean turns 6 today. He's stopped asking about when he'll get to start school.

Dean turns 7 today. I went out and taught him how to shoot a gun.

Dean turns 8 today. Have to tell him he won't get to finish third grade since we're moving again.

Dean turns 11 today. He asked for a gun and I got him one.

Dean turns 13 today. We stopped at a diner while we were driving in the rain to the next hunt.

Dean turns 14 today. We went out shooting.

Dean turns 16 today. He helped me out on a werewolf case.

Dean turns 17 today. I sent him on a hunt alone so I could stay home and talk with Sam.

Dean turns 18 today. I gave him the Impala, but he knows I'll still be the one driving it.

Dean turns 20 today. He's somewhere in Ohio. I haven't called him in a few days.

Dean turns 21 today. I'd buy him a beer if I wasn't already aware he's been drinking since he was 14.

Dean turns 24 today. When I was 24 I was happy, but I can't let Dean be that yet. Not until we get revenge.

Leaving the safety of Sam tumblr and seeing the worst takes possible is sooooooo… just…

(Dean Stan on TikTok called the Sam and dean fight about Amy in 7.06 dean “finally standing up for himself”)

That’s so funny.

Bro, he killed a lady. And then lied about it.

Like, there’s a lot of times where I’ll go, fine, Dean’s being morally ambiguous and he thinks he’s making the right call, sure, sure. This was not one of those times.

(Secret good spn in my head where this and the Benny situation combine in Sam’s mind in such a way that once Jack comes around, that why he becomes so invested in Dean seeing Jack as family. Because he knows that if he doesn’t? If all he can offer is that he would spare Jack, that he thinks Jack isn’t a monster? Dean has disregarded that before. But if Dean can come to that conclusion on his own, strip the title of monster away because he’s become personally invested, that might protect Jack.)

one thing I truly appreciate so much about the good omens fandom is that I NEVER, not even once, stumbled upon a disturbing 1ncest fic just because I forgot to search only within my ship category

You have fallen in every way imaginable.

Now that I have that spare copy of Lucian's Assigment on my desk, I can't help noticing the GIGANTIC ball of light behind him, which, in a whimsical little brain association moment, keeps reminding me of the time my friends and I were, uh, pursued? by a giant ball of light? No I am not making this up yes Bill Cipher was involved let me stress again how little I am making this up

My friends and I were on a road trip and we were supposed to stop by Confusion Hill and see the Bill Cipher statue during the day. At a normal time, like normal people. Then my stupid ass accidentally got on the wrong freeway and took us to San Francisco and THAT was a whole thing, but we ended up passing Confusion Hill at around 11:00 at night

Exhibit A:

I stayed in the car with the engine running bc uh. we were not supposed to be there. but a few friends got out to take pictures on the nice DSLR. and eventually one of them started SHRIEKING and we managed to get everyone back in there car and talking and they just keep going "there's a light! there's a light!"

And sure enough, there is a ball of light approaching us. Assuming we've pissed off a security guard, I stick my head out the window and say "hello!" waiting for the "Hey you have to leave now"

No response.

Light comes closer.

Shrieking becomes universal as I throw it in reverse and get the hell out of there

Exhibit B:

Anyway.

Lucian 🤝🏼 me

Big fuckoff balls of light

can writers stop amounting their characters to such a husk of themselves that them literally killing themselves for no reason is considered a good death

Obviously media interpretation is subjective and there is no right or wrong way to read something except yes there is and I'm the only boy in the world who understands season 4. Sam didn't just "pick a demon over his brother" he went with the only person he thought he could.

Like, you have to understand the three big emotions for Sam going into this season. The first being just this overwhelming, intense guilt. Everyone he was related to died because of him. Mary and all her relatives and family members died so Azazel could get to Sam, their dad died to save Dean from the injuries that Azazel caused so he could get to Sam, and then Dean literally traded his life for Sam's and Sam couldn't save him. Like, yeah the grief's a huge part of it but the guilt. The guilt is killing him.

Then you have this pathological desperation to be something good, which we see a bunch in season 2 (and even more in later seasons but shh). He doesn't want to be what Azazel wants for him, he doesn't want to be a monster, so he has to save people. He has to make something good out of what's inside of him. Which is why he wants to believe Ruby is good, because if a demon's good then maybe the demon blood doesn't mean he's evil after all.

And the final fucking nail in the coffin is that he feels he can't trust anyone else. Both Bobby and Dean have lines in s3 implying or outright saying that Sam is something evil, something inhuman. Dean repeatedly calls Sam a freak, says he's scared of him, says if he didn't know him, he'd hunt him— all before he even knew Sam was drinking the blood. His father wanted him dead. He's repeatedly attacked by other hunters back when all he did was have visions, and then he finds out angels are willing to destroy an entire town full of people, so he doesn't even have his faith anymore.

So you've got all this guilt, and desperation, and fear, and then there's Ruby who's using it all to manipulate Sam into doing what she wants. Like, season 4 isn't a story about Sam betraying Dean; it's a story about everyone in Sam's life failing him, including himself.

I'm kind of sad that we didn't get the Buffy the Vampire Slayer leprechaun episode that the writers almost accidentally wrote. (Like, I guess Joss Whedon one time joked about wanting a leprechaun episode and the writers legit thought he was serious about it. And they were working on it, researching leprechaun myths and everything, and then he had to tell them that he'd been kidding.)

The closest thing we get to leprechaun in the Buffyverse is probably in the tie-in book (that's actually a "choose your own adventure book") "Colony." Where there seems to be something similar to a leprechaun, that Buffy keeps calling a leprechaun/comparing to a leprechaun. But it's not a leprechaun, because I guess leprechauns don't exist in the Buffyverse (part of me wonders if that was an inside joke about that aforementioned thing, but I have no idea. Probably not?) At least according to this tie-in novel.

the way that even Godstiel is THAT fixated on Dean asdfghjkl