Anyway, I hate eye contact. So of course I am always the one person that profesors pick to see if the lecture is good. And how they do it:they look me straight in the eyes, smiling and wait if I look back and nood my head.

This semestr I've added new one because I know Aby Warburg (only one in the class). And I mabye know him, but I also f* hate him. And now I have new reason.

i love studying social services stuff (uni of applied sciences, mostly independent study, two days of in-person teaching each month).

but now i have a practical training coming up, starting on february 20th. i'm terrified. fucking terrified.

i'm autistic—just learning that for the first 30 years of my life, i've masked, and it has exhausted me thoroughly.

i have avpd—i'm way better now, but it's still there. a few years ago i wasn't able to leave my apartment. now i can do it, provided it's not every day. but the practical training? it's four days a week, and for hours every single day.

i also have bipolar—and often pushing myself too hard results in either a manic episode or a depressive episode. or first one, then the another.

i know i want to work in social services. i know it. it's not where all of my strenghts lie, but it's what i'm passionate about. i also know it's a job where i'd have to meet people. but. i didn't expect to be this terrified.

You know that moment when your concentration just fades away and you rather be drinking some nice coffee than writing or editing your paper.

I don't trust people who can actually study

Like wym you don't forget what you're reading right after reading it??

Bro i am supposed to be studyin for an exam but like i dont wanna I just wanna make art bro :'(

Bit of a rant, but like I love Biology, I find it super interesting, however, if I have to study for any longer I'm gonna lose it T-T It's so much to remember and that would normally not be a problem but since I'm studying for my finals I take it super seriously and I feel really bad when I do my hobbies since all of them are creative and I feel like I waste brain power on being creative instead of memorizing and understanding (even though I know that that's bullshit) and that stresses me. Normally I would just write a song or story like I always do to calm me down, but well... I'm always feeling like I should study even more but it's so exhausting that I can't... I feel a bit burned out tbh. My only hope is that my Biology exam is on Wednesday, so just two days from now. Like I still have four exams left after that, but it's German, Music, English and History so it's WAY less study intensive.

My brain throughout the week before the exam: we can study for multiple hours a day 🤓

My brain two days before the exam: ✌️nah

the funny thing about me is that even tho my mom already take my phone, laptop, etc, I still can’t do the task.

like one time, my mom tried making me study by taking away all my gadgets and only gave me paper (not even a pen) and I just sit there. Like, I imagine scenarios and fanfic ideas instead of reading. It’s basically like:

mom: ha! I took every distraction away from you. Now you can only study.

me: oh wait I stil have my imagination.

like, the only way to take away all my distractions is to take my fuckin mind away. What the fuck

me: *has exam tomorrow*

also me: * scrolls 5 hours straight & cultivates my Tumblr*

Herbal teas for stressful times

Sometimes one cup of tea can help your mental health 🫶🏼 Try these herbal teas when you don’t feel ok ☕️ Take a tablespoon of any of these herbs and place them into a tea ball, strainer or directly into a cup, and pour a cup of hot water over the herb. Let the tea steep for up to 15 minutes 🫧

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲 (𝗠𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗮)

It relaxes tightness in the mind and body. Also, chamomile reduces tension in the digestive tract, especially when there is associated bloating and discomfort

𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 (𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗳𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗮 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗮)

This tea is for those whose mind is racing, overactive and prone to circular thinking. It works to cool the mind, and gently sedate the body allowing relaxation and rest to ensue

𝗟𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 (𝗟𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝘀𝗽𝗽｡)

Lavender is great at reducing that tension, increasing blood supply to the mind and easing the strain of life

𝗥𝗼𝘀𝗲 (𝗥𝗼𝘀𝗮 𝘀𝗽𝗽｡)

Rose stimulates our capacity for empathy and kindness not only to others but to ourselves as well. It is cooling to the mind, reducing worry and thoughts of rejection

𝗟𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗮𝗹𝗺 (𝗠𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗮 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀)

Specific to those who are stuck in a state of melancholy, this herb can shine some sunlight on the mind of those who need it

resource 💻 aromaticstudies.com

Was working on physics this evening , it was kinematics , didn't get anything done , I got demotivated because I couldn't solve problems , not even a single one. In fact , I couldn't even solve the basic problems , problems based on theories which took me a lot of time to learn . On top of I got a bad headache today , my thinking capacity was cos 90° . But it's fine and understandable , yesterday I was having my up , I solved a few questions and they were correct . Today was my down , I got demotivated but I will not let today take over my tomorrow . I will start the entire chapter again , solve the basic problems and then move forward .

Helpful advice :

This really is a lesson , when I learned those theories/topics , I was in a hurry to complete , I did not understand the concept , numericals deeply and didn't even solve solved questions that time . Coz of lack of revision and only surface-level knowledge led me having obstacles in the long run . i wasn't able to solve the basics , I got stuck further . So please guys , don't be in a hurry when you're studying , don't let the anxiety of staying behind and " BEING SLOW " take over you. Please study efficiently , you can say you studied for 8 hours or so , but think , did you really understand what you learned or were you just watching the lecture hoping for it to end quickly .It's ok to be slow , the more you learn to study in your own speed , the more you will learn about yourself + it will help you in the long run ( when you revise for test/exam). You will remember better , coz you efficiently studied the topic/chapter , solved numerous questions , so you know the approach to it . A quick flash revision of that topic/chapter will give you your best results .

Thanks for coming to my bed talk , yes it's past midnight , here I am reflecting about my day . Take care ! Hope you have a great day !Keep studying ! Bye !

Anyone wanna give me some life advice?

So, I started university this year and i like the main thing I am studying buuuut there are these filler subjects that are interesting but I don't think I will ever pass the exams for them so I am thinking about quitting university. But there is the problem that I don't really know what to do in life.

I can never decide on what to use as a planner. Im constantly switching between apps. I start bullet journals and never finish them because i switch to a pre-made planner. Currently using a passion planner and I hope this one sticks.

not me being proud of myself ‘cause i was be able to explained to my parents why i got a bad grade, proved it wasn’t completely my fault calmly, instead of being quiet and listen to them yell at me and break down 5 minutes later.

New episode 📚