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captaincryolicious · 2 years

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Desert Scum

➳ Cyno x gn!reader

➳ Oneshot ; 1.5k

➳ Hurt/comfort ; Reader is being attacked

Helping out the chief of Aaru Village doesn't go according to plan, but Cyno is there to save the day. [20.10.2022]

Zep's Note ; This isn't much, just something small to see if I'm capable of writing for Cyno lol.

content under the cut | masterlist

Collecting scarabs for medicinal use was a noble cause, or at least that was what you kept telling yourself to keep the flimsy bits of motivation you had left from dissolving completely. You already caught a few, but it was a tedious task – even more so because these little critters knew very well how to bury themselves and hide in the dry sand of the desert. They outsmarted you with ease, and frustration was slowly getting the best of you. You had been here for a couple of hours now, judging from the sun’s lowering position, and the results didn’t please you. The wicker basket you brought with you was still fairly empty, the revenue wasn’t fantastic. The Village Chief would probably be disappointed when you would return to the village. Why did the old man ask you instead of someone more experienced in this field? Surely, there lived people in Aaru Village who were more agile in scarab-catching.

You heaved out a sigh, ambling through the loose sand without paying as much attention as you initially did. This job was tiring you, and on top of that you were beyond bored. It was as if those scarabs knew that you were looking for them, and you found not a single one anymore. Had a warning call resonated through the population? Or was it simply a case of inexperience and bad luck?

It’s for a good cause, you reminded yourself, knowing very well that the way you were staring at the sand at your feet was pretty much useless. You used the front of your shoe to stir the sand mindlessly. Well, six scarabs were better than no scarabs, right? You just had to look at it from the bright side.

Nah, six scarabs wasn’t all that bad for a rookie like you. You tried to muster up a sense of satisfaction. It was getting darker, and despite the short time you lived here, you knew very well that the desert was cold and perilous at night. It was about time you headed back to the village. The sun was already setting, and it wouldn’t be long until its warmth would dissipate.

You turned around, ready to pick up your basket, but a movement caught in your peripheral vision had you riveted to the sandy desert floor in fright.

Deep laughter broke through the silence, and sheer horror overtook your entire being as three men approached you. Their pace was leisurely, as if they only came for a little chat, but the malice in their sickening grins gave away that they weren’t there to play the nice guys. You were surrounded by a ternary of Eremites, and your heart froze over in fear.

“Well well, what do we have here,” the man in the front jeered, his hand ghosting over the grip of his dagger before he took it out of its confinements. “All alone in the desert, friend? Not a smart move, now you’re left at our mercy and we have none of that.”

They all laughed, as if the man just told a funny joke. It wasn’t even remotely funny to you, and you realized gravely the mistake you had made. You were terrified, and even more so, you were doomed. The setting sun sunk behind them, and they stood tall as stark silhouettes against the darkening sky. Their long shadows cast over you, wrapping you in the dark. You glanced around, panicking. Was there a way to escape? Could you possibly outrun them if you were to make a mad dash for it? The chances were slim, and you knew that. It was merely out of instinct that you desperately sought a way to flee.

“P-Please let me go,” you pleaded, but it only elicited another round of laughter.

Then there was a dagger under your chin, coaxing up your face as the Eremite soldier forced you to look at the malicious grin he wore. A sob escaped your throat as anxiety racked your body. Your heart pounded wildly and you closed your eyes. Just be done quickly, you silently pleaded. Every fiber of your being was expecting to die right there and then, for you had nothing that could possibly satisfy them enough to let you go. What could you offer them? Six scarabs?

“Just checking, kid,” the man spoke roughly. “Do you have anything of value with you? If not, we’ll just take you with us. Maybe that godforsaken village of yours is willing to pay a nice sum of Mora for you.”

A growl ruptured through the twilight sky, and a flash of purple set everything alight. With a yelp that held both surprise and pain, the Eremite who had you cornered flew backward and you sank to your knees, panting heavily. Thunder crackled all around you, bolts of purple lightning painting the sand a violet glow. Another man fell to the ground with a groan, and you gasped when you saw a familiar face engage in a deadly dance with his trusted polearm in his hands. He moved swiftly, the eyes of his Anubis mask glowing voraciously as the last man, too, fell to the ground with a cry of pain.

A pair of red eyes landed on you, partially hidden by the shadow of his mask, and your heart jolted in relief. They were smoldering with anger and bloodthirst, yet the familiarity of them warmed your body that had been chilled with fear before. He was breathing heavily, his bare chest rising and falling after having to fend off three skilled Eremites. You saw the relief in his eyes, despite the glowering hatred they held within, before he averted his gaze to look at the bodies that rested in the sand.

“Lay one more finger upon them and you’ll die by my hands,” he growled, and the tassel of his vicious spear caught the final light of the setting sun, shimmering dangerously. But his words fell upon deaf ears, for his opponents were long unconscious.

Cyno twirled his spear, burying the blade in the desert sand before coming over to you. He helped up your shaking form gently and slowly, supporting you to prevent you from collapsing again. You were still in shock, and tears welled up in your eyes when you looked at your savior.

“Fool,” he scolded you, his hands driving up to cup your tear-ridden cheeks. “Do you have any idea how worried I was when I heard that you left Aaru Village on your own?”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered with a frail voice, for it was all you could muster at the moment. “The Chief asked for help and–” you trailed off, knowing all too well that Cyno didn’t want to hear any excuses.

“You’re so naive, wandering off into the desert alone,” Cyno groaned, his red eyes – that were calmer now that he had you in his arms – glided over your being to check for any injuries. “These surroundings won’t treat you nicely, nor does the scum that roams here at night.”

He sighed, wiping your tears before his hands dropped to the small of your back. He pulled you closer, taking you into a soothing embrace. You instantly buried your face in his fluffy white hair, a strangled sob leaving your throat. For a few minutes, you simply stood like that, relishing in the feeling of safety that washed ashore. With his hands resting on your trembling figure, you finally grew a little more at ease. Cyno was there.

“You’re too kind, Y/N, putting yourself at risk for the sake of helping others,” he murmured, resting his cheek against the side of your head. “Next time, I’m going with you.”

You nodded; you liked that idea. There was no way that you’d ever set foot into the desert alone after tonight’s events, at least not for quite a while. You’d only venture into the vast plains of sand and sandstone when you had your Cyno by your side. The nauseating laughter of those Eremite soldiers still echoed in your mind, and you shuddered in your lover’s arms.

“I think I’ll catch a lot more scarabs with your help,” you attempted to joke.

Cyno didn’t laugh. He clearly wasn’t ready yet to bring a lighter note to this tense situation. Instead, he let go of you, opting to take your hand instead.

“Can you walk?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine now that you’re here,” you replied. “I just wanna get out of here as quickly as possible.” You allowed your gaze to wander towards the crooks that lay in the sand and pursed your lips. “I don’t wanna be here when they wake up.”

“It’s probably better for their sake if they won’t wake up for as long as I’m still here,” Cyno muttered darkly. He gave a gentle tug on your hand. “Let’s get you out of here, Y/N.”

You obediently followed him, more than happy to leave the desert behind and get back to the safety of Aaru Village. You had learned your lesson; the desert couldn’t be trusted. Cyno had warned you many times regarding the matter, but you only realized the weight of his words when you experienced it first-hand. You were so, so grateful that he showed up right on time.

Where would you’ve been without Cyno?

You didn’t even want to think about that.

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact cyno #cyno genshin impact #cyno #cyno x reader #cyno x you #cyno x y/n #cyno imagine #cyno imagines #genshin impact cyno x reader

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mukkuruingly · 3 months

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OK after reading some fan reports, I'm did what I could to compile and summarize them all. So here it is...

THE KAMEN RIDER BLADE 20TH ANNIVERSARY LIVE SHOW (stage play): a summary

Screencaps of my summary in the cut below for Spoilers

- King got released somehow and starts causing havoc as well as stole some cards from BOARD (Tiger included)

- Steals Hajime's Mantis card and unseals him

- Hajime reunites with Tachibana and the narrator reveals that they have gotten along much better within 20 years (Hajime even apologized to Tachibana for the trouble)

- Hajime (in Joker form) and Tachibana fight King and Mantis. Mantis attacks Tachibana but was shielded by Hajime, and ends up getting sealed

- Also we get to hear Mantis talk for the first time and he's like disappointed that Hajime is holding back on being Joker during their newest flight but King just goes" lol anyway (interrupts their fight)"

- Mutsuki as Leangle then comes to help

- Turns out Mutsuki was in Tibet and works under Tachibana as a researcher

- Tachibana mentions his research is going well, then retreats as Mutsuki goes to take care of King

- Mutsuki then has to fight Tiger under King's control

- scene changes to Mantis Undead

- Kenzaki finally appears, immediately recognizes Hajime isn't present thru his Joker senses, and demands Mantis to tell him what happened to his friend

- THEY FIGHT and Kenzaki transforms to Blade

- (OP points out that even as a Joker Undead, Kenzaki still fights with precision as he does back then when he was human)

- Mantis then explains that there's someone else whos the one who unsealed King and is the mastermind of what's happening

- Mantis is defeated and Kenzaki seals him

- scene changes, returns to Mutsuki vs Tiger

- Tiger suddenly stops and reaches out to Mutsuki, trying to resist the brainwashing

- Mutsuki hears Shima's voice and takes Tiger back to him (regaining her sense before willingly being sealed again)

- He then faces King and finally transforms to his own King Form

- (OP notes that everyone was screaming and sobbing when this happened, same with Kenzaki's first appearance in the stage show where it's described that he has a Terrifying and Intimidating presence the moment he walks in from the Audience aisle and to the stage.... omg...)

- ANYWAY MUTSUKI OVERPOWERS KING and manages to retrieve Hajime's card

- Unfortunately Mutsuki can't take his King Form's power for too long and was quickly reverted to base Leangle

- Before King would attack Mutsuki, time immediately freezes

- Kenzaki arrives using the Scarab card!!!! And tells Mutsuki he's doing great so far 🥹🥹🥹🥹

- King moves again, and Kenzaki tells Mutsuki to unseal Hajime

- REUNION HAPPENING

- Hajime thanks Mutsuki (Which OP notes is rare to hear especially hearing him call Mutsuki by his first name instead of his Rider name)

- Mutsuki was told to retreat while Hajime and Kenzaki face King

- Hajime: I will not waste the feelings of my friends!

- YEAH HAJIME CONSIDERS MUTSUKI AND TACHIBANA AS HIS FRIENDS TOO 🥹🥹🥹

- THEY FIGHT KING

- OP: King then starts to sound like a conspiracy theorist (regarding the mastermind of their unsealing) before being defeated and sealed

- Kenzaki wonders what King meant and if it's related to them being Joker again (referencing THE ZI-O EPS)

- Before Kenzaki could leave Hajime, he was ambushed....

- SURPRISE it's *ANOTHER BLADE*

- Kenzaki worriedly thought it was Amane at first but Hajime quickly sensed Another Blade's presence is neither human or Undead

- Another Blade attacks and it was enough to cancel both Kenzaki's and Hajime's transformation reverting them back to their human form

- Another Blade says they will be the new embodiment of chaos and destruction, to which Hajime states he won't let them destroy the world

- Mutsuki and Tachibana finally reappears, and reuniting all 4 riders

- they're all happy to see each other... even Hajime is smiling 🥹

- All 4 transform and face Another Blade together

- BLADE BRAVE plays and the 4 riders reenact the poses in the opening theme yoooo

- there's a bit where Hajime would say the "I'LL BEAT YOU UP" line again from the original show and that got the audience to laugh fhfjdkk (how could you not tho 😂)

- gonna keep the climax brief but yeah it's the Big FIGHT scene

- Tachibana and Mutsuki manage to seal the remaining Undead

- then EVERYONE shifts to their King Form (and Wild Chalice) to stop Another Blade

- There's a lot of cool stage effects going on too

- Kenzaki makes the finishing blow after receiving three other cards from his friends

- I forgot to mention but only Kenzaki and Hajime remember everything that happened in Zi-O before the reset. Tachibana and Mutsuki are absolutely clueless and are lost when Hajime mentioned about it. And it's only now they learned about Another Blade's existence.

- Mutsuki brings up his worries about new enemies beyond what they know but Kenzaki reassures him it'll be alright and that they can handle it together

- Tachibana then tells Kenzaki that he's still finding a way to turn him back into a human which Kenzaki appreciates and thanks him (still showing his respect to him as his senior at work) 🥹🥹🥹

- Hajime then says he'll wait forever among the humans (OP notes his voice is gentler just like in the finale ep) to which Kenzaki replies that someday the battle will end for sure...

- ELEMENTS plays as the 4 raise their fists together just like in the 2nd OP 🥺

- Kenzaki leaves first disappearing behind the smoke

- Tachibana and Mutsuki leaves

- Hajime was the last to leave but also the slowest, as he lowers his head before making his exit from the stage

- While Hajime leaves, Kenzaki's silhouette in the smoke remains and he's facing Hajime's direction before completely disappearing (OP mentions the lighting used for the smoke is colored gold...... LIKE THE COLOR OF THE GINGKO LEAVES AT THE PARK DURING THE BENCH SCENE FHDJNFKLK)

- once everything is dark, two colored silhouettes appeared: red and blue

- the blue one confirms that the Battle Fight will resume as two Undeads are still active

- the red one then says that they'll continue to observe as they hope to restore harmony to the world

- though made vague in the stageshow, OP points out that these two are actually the final bosses from the Blade novel

- THE END

#Kamen Rider Blade #kamen rider #i am absolutely losing my mind about thid #im so glad i never changed my icon because blade will always be in my heart #what the heck why is Kamen rider blade #kenzaki and hajime ah #anyways enjoy gang and perish with me and other fellow fans

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wazzappp · 5 months

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Considering that Khaji Da chose Jaime A, quickly, B, instead of his murder-happy family, I don’t think that it’s a matter of personal preference who Khaji Da picks. Khaji Da didn’t eavesdrop for days to decide if it liked him, it activated pretty much the second it made physical contact with him. So what if it’s genetic? Like with blood types, or organ transplants. What if the scarab can mimic the markers on the outside of cells that tell the immune system that they’re not foreign and shouldn’t be destroyed, but only some of them, or some not as well as others? On contact with Jaime, then, it knew that he had genetic markers it could mimic to avoid having to suppress the immune system. (It could, of course, and use its own robotic antibodies to keep him healthy, but that takes power, so better to not have to do that.)

Also, considering that, the scarab would have to have very very good chemical sensors. If I was a Reach scientist, I’d put them in two lines down the body of the scarab on the top (to read the dna of the host-to-be if the scarab is being grabbed), and on the tips of all limbs + the mandibles (to read the dna if the scarab is doing the grabbing).

Sorry for the spam, lol. I’m a bit obsessed.

Ohhhhhhh FANTASTIC reasoning dude!!

Yeah yeah that would TOTALLY make sense. If Jaimes immune system recognized Khaji as a threat while they were trying to assimilate, he would manifest symptoms (chills, fever, sniffles, cough etc) and that would be. Far less. Than optimal in a situation where he is literally being hunted lmao.

That's interesting because it would also imply that Khaji has their own DNA containing genetic markers that would generally need to be adapted to suit a host. What percentage of Khajis DNA would need to change in order to not trigger an immune response, I wonder?

Also this is interesting because it would mean that there are genetic mutations happening that (at least initially) Khaji would have absolutely NO CONTROL over. A certain percent of Khajis DNA would need to stay the same for it to still be, you know, Khaji. So as much as Khaji Da's DNA is changing, jaimes DNA would ALSO still need to change in order for them to be compatible (referring to assimilated cells).

Hmmmmm. Maybe when they finally 'Sync Up' in the finale of the movie, that's Jaime's brain cells finally relenting to assimilation with Khajis DNA. I'm fairly sure that up until that point we've only seen Khaji speak with Jaime while their helmet on. That could imply that Khaji is just pumping their voice through speakers in the helmet rather than directly through Jaimes auditory nerves. They haven't gotten that far yet.

Oh fuck. But that would mean that all the way throughout the movie Khai is almost just. MANUALLY YOINK-ING Jaimes limbs around cause they haven't fully integrated into his central nervous system. I mean, maybe they could just artificially send electrical stimuli into whatever nerve affects the area they want to move but JEEZ.

Oh god that could also allow for jaimes brain to send its own instructions to stop that limb from moving. His body could like. LITERALLY tear itself apart. Jesus christ.

#YOUR ASKS ARE APPRECIATED AS ALWAYS PROWL!!!!!#sorry if this got kinda off course but you just got my brain going BRRRRRRRRRTTTTT #jaime reyes #khaji da #blue beetle #asks

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ageless-aislynn · 1 year

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👻 and 🥳!

Aw, thanks so much for playing along! 😁

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Okay, so it’s not really wild since I’ve talked about it so much and written a fic about it, too, but I would’ve LOVED to see the mayhem these two could’ve caused together, lol! They’d have this whole Covenant war thing cleared up in a week or so, I’m thinking... 🤔😂 Either that or they’d have the galaxy burned down. I’m confident on one or the other, though! *fist thump* 😂

In other headcanon news, I’m pretty sure I can justify every member of Noble Team somehow surviving Reach. Even the ones we clearly saw Get Killed™. Jorge was actually transported safely away to a slipspace destination before the explosion and just needs to catch a ride back! Kat’s shields had begun to recharge and managed to direct that shot around her helmet, she was just knocked unconscious and woke up later with a slight headache! Carter was just a little bit shot-up and managed to eject before crashing into the Scarab. Give him a couple of Band-Aids and he’s fiiiiine. 👍 Emile’s shields are still active (seriously, they really are, you can check when Six goes up to the MAC gun, the Elites’ are too, they also have been known to blink 👀) so clearly he was only a tiny bit stabbed and is sleeping it off. Boy, is he going to be embarrassed when he wakes up and he TOTALLY missed shooting down that huge ship, right? We all know that Six found the Deepest Cave on Reach™ and hid out there. It’s practically canon at this point. 😇 And Jun comes back like...

Jun: What the heck, guys? I left you for 10 seconds and now the planet’s been glassed???

*gigglesnort*

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

I didn’t know that’s what it was but I wrote my very first fanfic about a total self-insert Mary Sue and Mr. Spock back when I was maybe 10? I loved Star Trek and Spock, I loved writing stories and the two just combined. It was a way for me to feel like I could be a part of something I loved.

The first fanfic I actually posted was for Lord of the Rings when Fellowship came out, another self-insert but this one was purposely aware of it, written like “my” diary as a serial done over the course of a year. Then the first “proper” fic I wrote was for Doctor Who. I’d had writer’s block for 6 years at that point (yes, years; that was awful as somebody who used to always be writing something) but I had several friends who were writing Ten/Donna and encouraged me to try my hand as well. I decided to try a drabble, just to prove to myself I could write 100 words. Then I got such a nice response, I wrote another one. Eventually, I wrote quite a few DW fics.

But the thing they all ultimately have in common is a way for me to feel like I’m a part of whatever show/movie/etc I love. 🤗

Thanks again so much! 😁

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

#fanfic writer ask game #ask game #authortobenamedlater #ageless aislynn

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bug-decal-kissing · 4 months

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I LOVE THAT YOU ENJOYED MY CHRISTMAS ONESHOT (i orphaned it cause i wasnt happy but still wanted it out as i wont be able to update any of my fics till next week lol-)

Heyo!

YES I LOVE IT SO MUCH !!! I LOVE SEEING ALL THE LITTLE GUYS THEY MAKE HE HAPPY :] I love 10k Prismo airing his trauma to Prism and then Prism just stands there like '🧍 that's rough buddy' AND MORE SCARABS YEAAAAAAAAH !!!! It is a wonderful read and it made me happy :]

#ask #i will sit oh so patiently with my hands folded nicely waiting for more content for my starving brain/silly/pos #i will be SO PATIENT SO SO SO SO PATIENT I CAN BE PATIENT/silly #i am always biased towards fluff #im a fragile little goosie/j #and i need them to be happy/content or else i will CRY

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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years

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Random Characters with Creative/ Designer S/O HC:

Characters: Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Bart Allen, Conner Kent (RSS), Jamie Reyes

Damian Wayne (Fashion Design):

· You’d started off your career when you were young

· Your father wasn’t super supportive of everything and said that you were too young to start a business or what have you

· So, with approval from your mother, you started one behind his back

· He didn’t know until one day you ended up treading and going viral with a dress you made for a very famous celebrity

· At that point he couldn’t stop you and was just impressed that you made it for months without him knowing

· As long as you were keeping up schooling, it would fly

· You ended up getting to travel the world and go to fashion week

· More specifically NYFW

· New York was the big one

· That’s where you and Damian met

· He was there for a business trip with Bruce and saw you at one of the shows the girls dragged him to

· He was immediately infatuated with you and wanted to meet you

· Thank the heavens he has sisters who wear your clothes to almost every gala

· They got to go back stage and talk to you which led to you two exchanging numbers and the rest is history

· When you started dating it was really hectic

· You had a few kidnapping scares which made him want to break it off especially after you found out about the entire Robin thing

· Heeeellllllllll no

· You didn’t let that happen at all

· Bruce actually commented and said that if you were that stubborn, Damian should probably keep you

· Fashion week becomes more tiring and you also hate not being able to see Damian as much

· He comes and visits though to make sure you don’t throw yourself out a window or something lol

· When it’s over, you guys always take a long vacation to Lake Tahoe in a house Bruce owns on the Nevada side

· He loves seeing your studio since it’s so organized and colorful

· You’ve got walls of mood boards and mannequins with unfinished garments everywhere along with a massive soft couch that one of you is always sprawled out on

· Sometimes he’ll send you pictures of pretty things he thinks you’d might like which ends up being incorporated into something

· You taught him how to drape and make his own suit so that Alfred can have a day off

· If anyone has a wardrobe malfunction and you’re around, you’ve got the needle and thread kit on hand at any given moment

· Some things in the kit come in handy for picking locks too

· He thinks it’s hilarious if you ever critique something or just call it straight ugly

· If you’re at a gala and do it it’s even funnier

· “Omg...”

· “What is it beloved?”

· “The drape and hem of that dress is the most preposterous thing I think I have ever seen. The fabric isn’t even the right material or fit for their shape. How rich are these people? And they can’t afford clothes that look decent on them?” You said giving them the famous inspecting side eye, “Also, who wears pearls with double sided sequins and fur?” “They can’t fix everything sweetie.”

· *intense snickering from Damian*

Tim Drake (Software/ Web Designer):

· It’s a match made in heaven

· The two of you meet at a tech conference

· He thought that you were such an interesting person to talk to and you had offers from places like MIT

· You got along so well and then he found that you liked coffee like he did

· Omg

· He asked you out in the nerdiest way by making you decipher code on your own computer

· You were kind of mad since you had been doing some other things for some major companies but after reading the message you determined you were fine with it

· I mean how could you say no

· Anyways the date when off great and eventually the media caught heavy wind of what was happening

· You already knew about the Red Robin thing pretty quickly into the relationship though

· Tim was a genius and you weren’t far behind

· It was scary how similar you two were

· From expressions and shared humor and meme taste, it was everything

· Staying up together was another thing you did

· Although, after some time one of you would pass out and the other would go to bed too

· It was like a competition in sorts of who could stay up the longest but at the same time you needed him to sleep

· The time he felt most betrayed by you was when you replaced his coffee with decaf

· You guys just sometimes hang out in his bed tangled up in the weirdest way watching vines or weird movies

· Totally the couple that would watch the worst rated movies just to laugh at them

· Damian commented on it once and got a tired middle finger from you once

· It wasn’t the classiest move however you couldn’t care less and Tim laughed his ass off

· After that Damian seemed to respect you more

· You guys probably have matching hoodies or something with really funny or obscure culture references

· Clingy couple but nothing too over dramatic

Bart Allen:

· Your designs in architecture went down in text books

· You were famous for some really amazing builds and constructions

· You started off by building these really insane LEGO sets or doll houses based off of designs in your notebook

· Your mother still has the models in the attic which is kind of embarrassing when he sees it but he thinks it’s really cool

· When he came to your time line he knew immediately who you were

· He also totally came to you and complimented your work plus some additional hinting at what was going to happen pretty soon

· Bart was there at the rise of your success

· He basically was your number one fan the entire time

· He’ll stay up with you as long as he can when you’re working

· It’s kind of funny seeing that when you’re designing the things you went down in history for you’ll be stuck on something and he’ll just tiredly recommend what he remembers learning

· You let him look through the designs sometimes but he understands if you don’t really feel comfortable with it

· He also knows that in order to do all of this, you’re wicked smart

· When the cave needed remodeling, you were the first person that they called in

· The League was very glad that you were there and they didn’t have to pull any strings to get anyone different in

· Plus, you knew what was needed since you were there all of the time

Kon Kent:

· You got your start writing

· It was the best thing that you did to relive stress

· Once your parents saw that you were such an imaginative child, they got you in a ton of art related classes but you liked writing the most

· Your writings had won awards before but then you wrote a book and it did amazing

· So now, that’s what you do

· Kon secretly actually really likes your books and met you at a book signing

· Nerd

· He got your number there and then you realized who he was

· It was kind of funny cause you were both in that moment of realization like

· Ohhhhh I know who you are.... kinda thing

· He finds it hilarious that sometimes you’re just all over the place

· When doing research your room isn’t terrible messy, it’s just piles and piles of notes and articles

· You also probably have an expansive collection of literature yourself ranging from all genres

· You don’t really like him to proof the book, however if you have an idea for something he’s all ears

· Coffee dates to strange hole in the wall joints

· Clark really likes you and finds your humor funny in the sense that it’s close to Bruce’s

· Both very sarcastic and dry

· Lex is just glad that his son found someone with an intellect

· You don’t really like Lex though

· That’s because you hear everything that Kon has to say about him

· Although, without giving the man too much credit, the charade that he plays on the daily in quite impressive

· You will never admit it however

· Ma and Pa love you

· So does Lois

· You get along because of the writing

· Sometimes Kon will just take you to some random part of the world if you need inspiration

· “Hey wanna fly to Morocco?”

· “Why not?”

· You make a day trip out of it but if it’s a long one you’ll stay longer

· Short distance he’ll fly you himself but overseas or something, he takes one of Lex’s jets

· He likes to tease you sometimes but will take it easy during the editing phase

· Those aren’t fun at alllll

· You get cranky sometimes during that and he just backs off lol

· He will make you sleep though

· He doesn’t want you turning into Tim or anything for an extended amount of time

· Nope

· Not doing it

Jamie Reyes:

· The team didn’t know anything about your job as an artist

· You were internationally revered

· No one knew of your job but for the boy wonder who saw the paint in your hair

· Once the team did know however, everyone was amazed

· You and Jamie were already dating by then though

· He was always impressed with what you did

· Laughed when you were covered in paint

· He lets you paint or draw on his hand

· You both have matching hoodies or jackets from your clothing line or merch that you painted

· If you have a YouTube channel, he’s in some of the videos

· Scarab notes that you have a more creative personality which Jamie responds to with a sarcastic remark

· Your clothes are partly covered in paint

· He’ll go to every show

· During the Reach thing you still stayed with him

I have more parts of the Damian Wayne x reader story coming and also requests but I’m just getting into school which is my priority so that’s why I’ve been a bit more inactive. Anyways I hope you liked this one and I can’t wait to put out more

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azuremliam · 3 months

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Part 1 - Previous - Final (Here!)

Scarab meant well by giving the room to Liam, he thought they deserved to relax in a room all to themself after everything that happened that day.

What he doesn't realize yet is that they're really comforted by other presences in a room with them when trying to sleep. Being by themself makes them anxious and causes them to think too much.

Also comes from a Beast related issue from when they were a kid. (They were sleeping in their old human home and woke up to screaming and people getting eaten sooooo yeah- its all locked up in the vault but its still a lingering thing they deal with)

On a lighter note, this is the start of Liam realizing they have a crush on Scarab. They think the feeling will just fade away- it sure as hell doesn't lol

#bug world au #adventure time oc #fionna and cake oc #scarab #the scarab #scarab the god auditor #adventure time #fionna and cake #liam #jake the bug #bug world finn #vera #insect character

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phantombl3u · 5 years

Photo

Introducing Barley Cookie!! 🌾🐞

this all took so long. please appreciate all my hard work.

im completely out of good ideas for pets so im just gonna release him without one because hnnngg

all written info under the cut. all of it. its a lot

Barley Cookie

Long ago hidden in the deepest sands of Yogurca, an ancient civilization prospered that worked with extremely destructive magics. They ruled the outer lands with an iron fist before they were overthrown and lost to history. Many centuries later, the only known heir to the throne of the civilization emerged with a fiery hate and passion to take revenge! Determined and self-absorbed, Barley Cookie works hard to reclaim the power he feels wronged of. He finds the power of flame to help him best, so he worships the flame god his people once valued so highly. It’s become an issue, with him sometimes forgetting about his main mission to praise and rave about this figure. Little does he know, they forgot about his civilization long ago...

Loading Messages

For my Lord..!

If I say it, it is so!

I will reclaim the power that is rightfully mine!

Stop me? I’d like to see you try!

I only follow the word of my Lord!

Ohohoho! How naive you are!

Costume Messages

I still have much work to do!

I really don’t have a need for material riches...

I wonder when my Lord will show... I will wait as long as needed!

Talk

Lovely day to cause some havoc!

Don’t get in my way!

Flattery will grant you no mercy!

Nothing shines as brightly as my Lord!

I am still nothing compared to my Lord!

I don’t want to be reminded of past dreams...

I need something as fiery as my Lord...

Gift

This works perfectly! Maybe you can be spared... (Given Solid Crimson Sugar Crystal)

How magical! This is perfect power! (Given Scarab Beetle)

Why thank you! (Neutral)

Weakness will not be tolerated. (Given Solid Violet Sugar Crystal)

Daily Gift

I have far too many of these... (60 crystals)

Tired

I’m sorry, my Lord...

Barley Cookie’s Pharaoh of Paradise

Finally proving himself to the world, he's come out as a new and much more powerful cookie. Despite all his new found fortune and success, he still hasn't impressed the one he set out to from the beginning...

Main Ability: Plagues of Maize

Barley Cookie summons a cycle of magical plagues that destroy obstacles around him and spawn jellies. Level up for more frequent activation and more points for Grain Jellies.

First Cycle: Turns the floor/ any holes into a river of strawberry jam that dissolves obstacles near it. Summons a consistent flow of Grain Jellies.

Second Cycle: Summons fiery rain to destroy obstacles. Fiery rain explodes into Grain Jellies.

Third Cycle: Casts a blanket of darkness over the map. During the duration, Barley Cookie can run through obstacles and turn them into Grain Jellies. At the end of the ability, the darkness turns all obstacles on screen into Grain Jellies then disappears.

Once the Third Cycle concludes, the plagues will reset back to the First Cycle.

Magic Candy: Bug Swarm

A swarm of bugs will attack obstacles in a set path, turning all obstacles hit into Rotting Crop Jellies. This ability can be activated by double jumping then pressing the slide button, and can stack. Level up for more frequent Bug Swarms.

Magic Candy Ingredient: Scarab Beetle

Despite how common they are, they’re highly valued for their magical use.

#cookie run #cookie run oc #barley cookie #cookie run ovenbreak #DEAR LORD this all took forever #i still have some work to do since this was my first time doing something this big for a cookie but hoo hoo #milks art

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deejayers · 6 years

Note

Top 5 dice colours, top 5 pillow shapes, top 5 horse breeds, top 5 places to drink tea. (I tried not to be boring. :3)

Hun, you have yet to be boring! Throw me for a loop now and then but never boring! I'm still working out how my oc's fit fruit. xDTop 5 dice!1. Blue Blood and Gold Scarab by Chessex2. Black-Gray and Green Gemini by Chessex3. Purple and Teal Gemini by Chessex4. Black Dragon by Skullsplitter Dice5. Whispers of the Void by Skullsplitter DiceTop 5 pillow shapes! This one might be hard because I am ignorant about pillow shape names and such lol1. Giant square pillow not actually meant for sleeping but for decoration that I currently use for sleeping2. A small, soft tube pillow that's just right to brace your neck on for reading in bed3. The homemade pillow my husband's Grandmother made at least 20 years ago that can be smooshed into pretty much any shape but rests in the normal small rectangular shape4. A square pillow just right to be a nice chair cushion5. A body pillow cause fuck yes those are amazingTop 5 horse breeds!! 😍😍😍😍1. Arabians!!!!! I will never not love those gorgeous, fabulous, spirited, amazing horses!2. Quarter Horses!! They're so versatile and hardy in different ways than Arabians. They also can be so, so gorgeous. Winchester is exhibit A and I am 100% biased.3. Friesians 😍😍😍😍😍 they are my dream horse but I have actually not even seen one up close in person. Just at a distance but they are gorgeous and so, so elegant. I love looking at them and I would love to own one.4. Percherons! Giant ass babies and so god damned comfy to ride on. It's like a fucking couch. Love them.5. Tennessee Walking Horses. I haven't ridden one in years but a horse I thoroughly loved and that taught me a lot about horses was a TWH and I loved him with all of my little teenage heart. His name was Bo and he was black with 3 white socks, a white blaze, and was about 15.3 or 16 hands. Top 5 places to drink tea! Not much of a tea drinker but either it or coffee should work well enough I guess.1. On a big, soft, comfy couch stuffed with pillows and blankets and with at least one cuddly kitty.2. A bed full of pillows and blankets and kitties3. A quiet place in the woods with my dogs. Also like to doze in such areas. 4. Used to sit on the fence and watch my horse graze while drinking coffee. It was always so nice and peaceful. Charis always stayed close to me and would randomly nuzzle me. ❤5. I love to drink coffee early in the morning while everyone else is asleep. It's a wonderful way to wake up. The house is quiet, everyone is asleep, and it's just so pleasant to slowly sip at a hot cup of coffee.These were pretty fun! Thanks for sending them! ☺

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i-love-jade-harley · 7 years

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alright heres some of my homestuck/warcraft headcanon shit

basically just like

what race they’d be/play, what class, what spec, how theyd play, how often they play, etc, etc...

idk how many characters im doing so more below the read more bullshit

mostly a ramble tbh lmao

(beta + alpha kids, beta trolls, calliope + caliborn. sorta a everyone lives/nobody dies au)

if u need to know what smth means just hmu

OKAY so lets start off with the kids

ok personally i think john would play either a monk or a paladin?? like i think he’d prefer the playstyle of a paladin but his monk would be for heals in case a raid group or smth needs it. he’d honestly probably do LFR and just casually play in general, but sometimes he’d play for like 11 days straight then not get back on for 2 months. but when he’s playing casually he just does LFR and world questing, maybe sometimes doing dungeon groups with dave or something. he’d probably be a DPS paladin because tanking is bullshit and so is healing. (believe me i know) he’d also use the heckin goofiest mounts there are. like you know the chicken? he’d spend the money to get it. like actual cash. he wants the chicken. let him have the chicken. but back on the topic of race he’d probably play a dwarf or a gnome. he’d probably have a level 2 gnome hunter. he also runs a prank guild that all the kids are in! a few trolls are in it, too. vriska, kanaya, terezi, and karkat are in it.

rose??? would probably play a shadow priest. probably nothing else, really. she may go heals every once in a while but dont expect her to want to. she plays a human. she only plays human and worgen. belf if she has to go horde. i dont really know if she’d just play casually because dave roped her in, or if she got really into it so now she has 12 max level characters. even if she doesnt like the game itself, she’d probably really like the lore!!! she’d probably also love the idea of xmog and what you can make your characters look like, bc some of the xmog is really badass. she’d probably use the emo purple bird thing as a mount (i forgot the name) or maybe she’d use the wotlk undead dragons. maybe the bc netherwing dragons?? im not sure!!! for pets she’d def have the feline familiar with her at all times (roxy would too) because who doesnt want a little witch kitty flying on a broom with you???

dave would honestly play a survival hunter. except he’d just punch shit to death. just autoattack. though when he’s ACTUALLY playing like a normal person he’d probably play a dps warrior. i could also see him tanking sometimes if he needs to. he probably only has one or two max level characters, but they have decent gear. he probably sometimes actually plays his hunter in a decent way but he probably just goes to low level neutral areas. he probably plays on a pvp server for that exact reason. he has one level 10 belf. he uses it to dance on mailboxes and get gold. he really just trolls people on it. he also roleplays, but makes sure to do it in the shittiest way possible. he only uses walk. no running. he uses the biggest mounts he has and walks on roleplayers when hes playing on an rp server. he probably raids on his warrior and is probably in a raiding guild. he purposefully mic spams the raid so he just gets muted, though. for mounts he’d obviously use the love rocket that he worked oh so hard for. for pets i dont really know what hed use?? probably brightpaw or whatever the purple cat thing is. he makes rose disappointed because he pays for mounts and pets with real money. tsk tsk. he has no professions except fishing, which he has maxed out. he may also have a DK that he has just to piss people off. hes the second highest tier in the prank guild. whenever they do raids (they occasionally do) he rp walks across the map to get to the raid. kanaya screams at him to accept the summon but he insists that he’s almost there.

jade would def have herbalism as her main profession!! she may also have mining to sell on the auction house. she would DEFINITELY play a bm hunter!! its a worgen all the way. she prefers to have it in worgen form too. since she doesnt really like horde and cant use many wolf mounts, shed def go with the mechanostriders! for flying i think she’d use the serpents!! i could also see her using the pandaren turtle moutns. her fave xpac is def either mop or wod. she actually liked garrisons. she’s really slow w leveling so she isn’t max level for legion, but her friends still play with her!! (me too buddy) she likes doing mount/pet/reagent farming and regularly gives her friends herbs and other mats to level their professions! she also sometimes roleplays with dave in goldshire to mess with people. she loves using emotes like /lol and /joke! she also uses toys VERY often. her hunter pet is a white wolf named bec, and she has a team of battle pets consisting of fel pup, frostwolf ghostpup, and cinder pup! sometimes she’ll use lil bad wolf, though. she’s actually super good at pet battling, but she only battles friends. she doesnt play to be the “best”, she just plays because its a fun game! she also loves playing hearthstone.

jane doesnt play much, and has a level 60 dwarf resto shaman. the only reason she has looms is because roxy gave her the gold to get them. she only has level 20 riding, and only has a single horse. she still plays with friends, but the game just really isnt her cup of tea. she has a few cool pets she found while playing in low level areas, and she likes playing the auction house when she does play! she’s in a prank guild that john owns (all the kids are in it, they prank the trolls and roleplayers) and that’s honestly the thing she enjoys the most.

roxy loves doing pvp with dirk. some of her friends call them the sneakies. she plays a rogue, and switches around her spec depending on what kind of pvp she’s doing. (as in she switches specs for open world, battlegrounds or arenas) she’s decked out in full pvp gear and always gets the newest tiers when theyre released. though she loves pvp she really does love raiding but she prefers playing with her friends! she helps everyone exploit game bugs for the prank guild, and will help cover peoples tracks when gold buying and such. she has all of her fun mounts set as favorites and just randomizes which one she rides. she uses the feline familiar pet EVERYWHERE. she wont use any other pet. at all. roxy also datamines ptr and spoils new lore for rose occasionally.

hoo boy. dirk is a top tier pvper. he mostly mains a ww monk and a rogue for pvp. he has 12 max level characters and 12 horde ones that are also max. he chooses class/race combos based on which one is the most reasonable for lore. he has an orc hunter named getshrekt. hes gold capped on all of his alliance characters. hes basically sleeve (if you play on bonechewer i hope you know who im talking about) he multiboxes 25 accounts to shit on leveling players. roxy helped him set this all up. all of his bots and multiboxes are hal. hal plays with him. he buys gold from a third party source and overthrows the wow economy. he causes the great depression in wow. he buys out every mat and then puts them back on the auction house for a few silver. since hes gold capped this has 0 affect. his character for the prank guild is maxed out and in pretty decent pvp gear. its also gold capped. he buys level boosts and uses actual money to buy tokens to increase his gold numbers. hes everyones worst nightmare. hes the reason no one plays horde on dirks server. dirk plays with roxy a LOT. they do arenas and basically just crush anyone who dares standing up to him. he exploits game bugs and has items people didnt know exist. he uses his special snowflake mounts that people thought were unattainable. he has bots farming spawn points for herbs and mining nodes. he plans on ruling the economy of his server. he ganks people that are his own level. he camps their corpses until they force quit the game. hes absolutely hated. he’ll be flying, and itll look like someone with a glitched name. then he’ll land in front of someone, and 20 multiboxes will spread out behind him. he ganks his victim. there is no escape. no mercy.

jake plays a worgen mm hunter! he refuses to use bows and crossbows. it ALWAYS has to be xmogged to a gun. he mostly does world quests and only has horse mounts to keep it simple and traditional. he likes to collect pets and plays with jade a lot! he’s also in the prank guild and absolutely LOVES it. he loves the open world aspect of the game. he also collects random items in-game, like the scarabs from ahnqiraj (i personally collect those oops) he’s also a bit of an altoholic, and loves leveling, but never really finishes anything. he has all of the exploration achievements. ALL OF THEM. he love love LOVES exploring the maps in the game. he also actually LIKED the cata revamp because it gave him more to explore. he has a goblin thats also a hunter thats level capped just so he could explore horde areas without worrying about being ganked or attacked. he knows his way in all of the major cities. you know huntards? well jake is the complete opposite of that. hes an amazing hunter. it surprises his friends.

bonus: hal helps dirk with being an asshole to everyone on the servers he plays on. he multiboxes with dirk and set up bots to watch the auction house for him. hes just as much as an asshole as dirk is.

NOW FINALLY ON TO THE TROLLS!!!!

aradia plays a belf destruction warlock. she’s a casual player and plays with sollux a lot. she doesnt play very often, but when she does she gets really into the game, especially when playing with friends! she doesnt have many mounts, but she has the headless horseman mount and thats what she uses most of the time. she has maxed out archaeology and has all the items for it. though she has the pets from it, the only pets she uses are frogs.

tavros plays a gnome bm hunter unironically. hes not a very good hunter but not huntard level. he mostly plays with the other lowbloods, sometimes vriska. he only really got roped into wow because of its ties to hearthstone. he wanted to know more about the characters, but stayed because of the animals. it really isnt too much of his cup of tea, but still plays because his friends do. he doesnt have professions nor a maxed out character. he has the mechanostrider mounts and the default pets. he also has the heartstone mount.

sollux heckin loves wow. he plays a troll mage. he switches between fire and frost, but never arcane. he hates arcane. he mostly plays with aradia, but he likes the occasional raid. he has good dps with decent gear. hes mostly a casual, but he loves messing with the games files and datamining.

karkat is a....special player. he has a blood dk that hes maxed out but hes in all green quest gear. he keeps trying to defeat dave in a dual but it doesnt work. dave got rose and john to help convince karkat that gnome is masterrace. he believed them. now hes a shitty little gnome aggroing everything and getting caught in the fire. he’s very upset because he cant beat dave. help this poor boy. his only pets are crabs. he has all of them. every single one. they’re all the poorest quality, but he loves them anyways. the only mounts he’ll use is mammoths to be an asshole to everyone. he plays a lot because he wants to crush dave’s pride. help this boy.

nepeta plays either a bm hunter or a feral druid! she roped equius in, and they tried to level together, but equius went too fast, so nepeta doesnt have a maxed out character. she enjoys playing with him nonetheless, even if its just running around stormwind! she plays on a roleplay server (NOT moodguard) and loves roleplaying and meeting new people. she rides the tiger/saber mounts and has all of the cat pets! she almost refuses to go out of cat form when on her druid. both of her toons are nelfs.

kanaya mains a human affli warlock and a nelf demon hunter. she likes the aesthetic of both locks and dhs, but prefers the play style of a warlock. she plays with rose most of the time, and they do world quests when they play. she has tailoring and enchanting as her professions, and both are maxed out. she prefers this because she can just make her own gear to sell and get gold. she has the jade panther that rose made her, and uses that mount most of the time. she doesnt really like collecting pets, but rose gave her a moth that she adores.

terezi plays a resto druid on nepetas server, and mostly roleplays with vriska. she roleplays as a dragon most of the time. she has all of the dragon pets and mounts, and shes VERY proud of her collection and wont hesitate to rub it in vriskas face. she almost got banned multiple times trying to complete her collection. she prefers doing old world raids and farming to get xmog to improve her roleplay outfit, and so she can have different sets for different characters. she sometimes roleplays with nepeta, but most of the time she roleplays with vriska.

vriska plays a nelf demon hunter, and roleplays with terezi on her server. sadly theres no spider mounts but she has the recruit a friend rocket because she did raf with tavros. she does pvp when shes not roleplaying, and she’s trying to get on the highest level. she has all of the spider pets. every single one of them. she tries to overthrow the auction house, but cant. (shes not on dirks server, so hes not messing her up. its just that she doesnt have much gold because of xmog.) she likes to ruin some peoples rolaplays, but loves roleplaying with terezi and sometimes nepeta.

equius only got into the game because of nepeta. he didnt think hed like it at first, but he really does. he prefers to tank. he has a maxed out dk, warrior, monk, and paladin. he and nepeta tried to level characters together, but he went too fast for her. he has all of the horse mounts and will only ride those. hes not very interested in pets except the engineering ones, and engineering is maxed out on his main toon. he enjoys raiding in his free time, but will also pvp for mounts. hes mostly casual.

oh man, gamzee should be interesting. he plays a troll shaman. no one really knows what he does, really. they just see that hes online and in a major city. is he playing the auction house? is he talking to people? no one knows. when the darkmoon faire comes around, he plays for all 7 days straight. he doesnt really ride mounts or have pets, but he collects them. no one knows why he plays or HOW hes maxed out in raiding gear. he just is.

eridan is a whiny bitch when it comes to wow. he wants to get on dirks level but doesnt know how to. even though hes sometimes a bitch about it, he does enjoy roleplaying and playing with karkat. he plays an arcane mage or a mm hunter. the only mount he rides is the sea turtle mount. you know the one? the one that makes you slow on land but fast in water? yea. he rides that. he HAS other mounts, but he wants the turtle.

feferi does NOT like wow. i mean, yea, she’ll heal for raids, but she doesnt like killing things. she plays a resto shaman and doesnt use a specific mount because she doesnt play that often.

calliope also doesnt like wow, but will play with roxy. she likes doing pet battles, and thats really all she does. she has a level 10 druid that doesnt have a spec. she has no mounts but has cool pets that roxy gave her. she camps in stormwind and refuses to go ANYWHERE else.

caliborn LOVES world of warcraft. he roleplays with dirk on moonguard, but dirk says nothing. just to piss off caliborn. he tried to multibox to kill dirk, but he ended up freezing his game. he constantly pesters the alpha kids, and really doesnt talk to anyone else except to make fun of new players. he has 1 mount and its the goblin mount. he mains a goblin rogue thats level 40.

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ghcstlight · 7 years

Note

u didn't reblog an ask meme or anything but rate ur ocs in a "top ten trash cans" list. can be based on like... trash as in asshole, their-existence-is-a-crime-to-humanity personality or like.... trash as in they text their s/o memes at 4 am for no reason every single night and is the reason why their s/o turns their phone on silent when going to sleep. you decide what the criteria for trash is.

How about I do both?

CRIME-TO-HUMANITY TRASH

TOMISLAV TOLSTOY; I mean, come on. Anyone who’s ever experienced him or knows even a little bit about him knows he needs to die, stat. Someone come shoot this guy in the head, he’s fucking garbage.

NIKOLAY TOLSTOY; marginally better than his son, except not, because he gave a cannibalistic psychopath custody over him just to meet his and his business partner’s end game. Nikolay Tolstoy is not only a gross parent, but also a gross human being entirely.

JACKSON FROST; Treats his drug ring like a fucking business and has a human resources department in the form of a huge guy that he lets deal with all customer complaints “like a professional”, he feels the world owes him something. Like why is he? We just don’t know.

AMIAS RHODES; Misogynist extraordinaire, I really wish he’d just fucking disappeared. This is the guy that blackmails into hacking for him — worse, he’s a good programmer himself and he knows it. He needs to be eliminated.

JOHN RYKER; Maybe not by his own doing, 100% a product of his upbringing which is essentially filled with violent abuse. Like I’m pretty sure he’s Autistic, but that can’t even redeem his actions, he’s rude, he’s condescending, he’s brutally honest, he stabs people with pens, Tomo is also his legal guardian, so you know.

JAKOB MLAKAR; So maybe he’s a brainwashed member of a mercenary group that teaches the kids they steal how to fight and lets them have 0 world experience outside of killing their targets. He’s still the irredeemable kind that fully believes that might makes right, money is good, and everything who strays from the cause is good to kill. Like his two “friends”. Trash.

AUGUSTUS BRENNAN; The kind of cop who seems to take his life and himself very seriously. Like literally, the shit he told Indiana when they were dating? Tried to change her because “he loved her but she was too abrasive and too unladylike” for him to marry. So she had to change. Obviously. Like what the fuck, dude? No.

TWENTY-ONE; Okay, Twenty-one has killed people. Like a lot of people. But the reason he’s only number eight is that when you’re not his target (boy, he’s like a dog with a bone with his contracts) he is an amazing, albeit mentally unstable individual. I wanna define him, but he’s undefinable. Take it from me, though, he’s only slightly trash.

SAMUEL GUINNESS; So Sam violently and loudly believes that his whole family are a bunch of lawless hooligans who all need to go to jail (he’s sorta right, I guess), and you’d think that’d make him a good guy, right? Except he’s fucking not. He’s a gross, manipulative, misogynistic piece of shit, he would have no qualms spitting and pissing on his father and brother’s graves, maybe his uncles’ too, and his other brothers, and probably quite a few nephews, just because they’re associated. He doesn’t even care to learn their names, he just hates them because they’re part of the family.

JACOB GUINNESS; Speaking of, Jacob Guinness does deserve Sam’s contempt. He has a lot of people in his family fooled he’s not a shady guy, but he is such a shady guy. Is he a nice guy? Absolutely. He means well. Like “for the greater good” and everything. This is simultaneously the guy that will take in kids who’re stranded homeless, and the guy who will allow him children and grandchildren to be psychological fucked in the A as a sacrifice of serving the greater good. Honestly, what the fuck, guy?

TRASH LITE

As in, not really trash, but endearing garbage, more or less.

FINN MCGINTY; Drove his professor (20+ years his senior) insane by relentlessly hitting on him during his two semesters at NYU. Practically makes sex his living, breaks hearts without meaning to because he has 0 self-worth. After he graduated, he started dating said professor when he ended up in NYC for a while. “Great butt,” according to him.

SIOBHAN MCGINTY; Seduced her grandfather’s brother-in-law’s brother relentlessly for years until he broke down, apparently has a kink for older men, not unlike her twin sister and her adoptive younger brother (see above). Gives the poor man no slack, demanded babies until she got them, and fought the entire world for her husband-then-boyfriend because especially her grandfather’s brother-in-law had a massive problem with it on the basis that he thought she was “innocent” and “eighteen-years-old” when she was twenty-five.

GIDEON GUINNESS; Super bottom. Massive, immensely bottom. Don’t be fooled by the stoic, intimidating demeanour, if you offered him ten dicks he would suck them all. Only has a big mouth @ his boyfriend (a professional dom, lol) when he wants to get his arse ruined, even tries the same with his girlfriend around his boyfriend just so he’ll make her ruin his arse. (: He is trash. Trash trash trash, cannot believe.

KING ALEXANDER; Fights. Fights everyone. If he’s not fighting someone, something’s wrong. Mostly fights his boyfriend/husband, because he fights back, and isn’t that just the greatest thrill in life? Will tell you to suck his dick, but if you actually suck his dick he will die and clip through the ground on his way through blushing, stuttering hell. Never have you met a more fighty person with social anxiety. Fight him.

BRANIMIR KALOYANOV; Has an issue with falling in love with beautiful strong WOC (cough) and also annoying the fuck out of Armenian/Greek men (cough) and sucking all the dicks. Makes drones in the form of scarabs, scorpions, and dragonflies to spy on people and also because he loves them very much. Brilliant, could be in space with aliens if he only tried, but instead he believes in Doing It For The Lulz™, it being making money and general cybercrime, Because He Can™. Super smart roboticist. Just general fail of a human being.

ELISABETH GUINNESS; Has every guy she knows wrapped around her finger and her vagina. Is proud of her Hoeness about as much as she is of her dance technique, encourages men to worship her and women to be a Hoe too (specifically with her because lbr). Breaks into her parents’ house to steal the dogs in the middle of the night Because She Can™. Top Hoe. Great Trash. Recommended.

RAFAEL ABREU; They asked me, “if nut has protein, can I just eat that instead of vitamins? It’d be cheaper, wouldn’t it?” Do you need to know more?

EMILY; Laughs at human beings. 👌

GRAHAM BELL; Knows his fiancé is a Prime Hoe™ with a libido that cannot be cured, so naturally loves working out where he can see to get him worked up, not wearing his shirt to get him worked up, inviting him to hockey practice/games to get him worked up, and generally doing everything he can to get him worked up, because it’s his most enjoyable pastime. His fiancé is also utter trash, though, and he deserves it.

MATTHEW GUINNESS; Never has there been more exclamation marks or question marks in text. Has decided the whole world is a rainbow and nothing hurts. Doesn’t know you’re hitting on him even if you’d dance in front of him naked and complimented his dick, he’d just think you’re being very nice.

#whatwouldsuestormdo #question

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