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majorbisexualpanic · 1 day

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if mayor lewis has a million fans, i am against all of them.

if mayor lewis has ten fans i am not one of them

if mayor lewis has one hater that is me.

if mayor lewis has no haters, that means i am no more on the earth.

if the world loves mayor lewis i am against the world

fuck you lewis and all your commitments issues.

marnie deserves better.

#mayor lewis hate club #if marnie was available npc #i would marry so quickly.#i want to set lewis’ house on fire.#i want to bully him out of town #mayor lewis #stardew lewis #stardew #stardew farmer #stardew valley #sdv farmer #sdv rant #sdv lewis #sdv #lewis hater #stardew marnie #sdv marnie

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three-penguins-in-a-trench-coat · 6 months

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How the Villagers of Pelican Town would react to The Farmer being, well, the Farmer

The Farmer does too much bullshit to go unnoticed by the Villagers of Pelican Town.

The motherfucking trash looting. Gus goes outside to clear away the night's trash, and the Farmer is squatting on the ground by it, scoffing down the salad he threw out the night before. There are hints of mold on the greens, and they're scraping bits of it off with their fingernails, before scoffing it in their mouth. The Farmer looks Gus square in the eye, and starts eating the plate.

Alex likes working out, and he notices the Farmer is always wearing a backpack. He asks what's in it, "oh you know, just a bit of this, a bit of that." He asks to pick it up and can't even lift pick it up off the ground like it's Thor's fucking hammer or some shit. The Farmer opens it to reveal the inside is larger than Mary fukin Poppin's bag of nightmares. Along with several dangerously sharp farming utensils, there's more food than the whole town would eat in a week, several live fish and enough rocks to level the valley.

Lewis, who spends most of his day walking through the town, often wonders how the Farmer can appear from their farm, walk to the beach, and the reappear from the farm ten minutes later... once more walking to the beach. They considered following the farmer, but decided against it. Best not to disturb those armed with glowing medieval weaponry.

Of everyone in Pelican Town, Jas is the most aware of what shenanigans happen on the farm.

#stardew valley #stardew #stardew farmer #stardew shitpost #sdv #shitpost #stardew jas #stardew gus #stardew alex #stardew lewis

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givemeureyes · 11 months

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“stardew valley is so relaxing” i am struggling to make ends meet. yesterday i was swarmed by bugs and passed out and the resident homeless guy found me, dragged me back to my home, and stole half of what was in my backpack. the day before that the only doctor in town found me passed out in my OWN FUCKING HOUSE TWO FEET FROM MY BED and still billed me 200g in medical bills. i watered one plant and have become incredibly fatigued. the mayor i met 2 days ago just asked me to fetch his boxers from the animal farmer he’s having an affair with instead of getting them his damn self. i have never been more stressed in my life.

#harvey why were you in my home in the first place #do i wander through YOUR home uninvited?#yes i do #but that isn’t the point #stardew valley #stardew harvey #sdv harvey #harvey stardew valley #stardew linus #sdv linus #linus stardew valley #mayor lewis #stardew lewis #sdv lewis #lewis stardew valley #marnie stardew valley #sdv marnie #stardew marnie

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incorrect-stardew-quotes · 8 months

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Shane is a little protective of his aunt.

#sdv #stardew #stardew valley #sdv shane #stardew shane #stardew valley shane #sdv lewis #stardew lewis #stardew valley lewis #incorrect sdv quotes #sdv incorrect quotes

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oreostarlight · 7 months

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Lewis: I stopped you because you were trying to fit three people on a motorcycle!

Abigail, Sebastian, and Farmer: Wait, three?!

Lewis: Yes, you three are in big trou-

Farmer: SAM FELL OFF?!

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lizardfootman · 1 year

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✨babygirlifies your mayor✨

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #stardew valley lewis #sdv lewis #stardew lewis #mayor lewis #stardew valley fanart #sdv fanart #stardew fanart #i will be taking no criticism at this time🚶#SDV Babygirl Series #cw suggestive #suggestive

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ask-shane · 5 days

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i randomly woke up in the middle of the night, rubbed my eyes, and noticed this shadowy figure outside the window.

turns out it was mayor lewis sneaking out of our house after a late night with marnie… yoba. this guy is terrible at being discreet.

#ask-shane 🐓#stardew marnie #stardew shane #stardew lewis #shane stardew #stardew valley

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farmer-fucking-101 · 8 months

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I'm just imagining talking about mental disorders with some of the bachelors...

Farmer: Anxiety is like... Sebastian, help me out

Sebastian: Hearing combat music in a video game and you can't find any enemies.

-

Farmer: My depression makes me not wanna get out of bed but it also makes me in danger of addiction

Shane: You're telling me people don't always experience that?

-

Farmer: Yeah, it's because of my trauma that I seek out people who treat me badly... Anyway, how are you doing today, Shane?

Shane: Okay, to be fair-

-

Farmer: I want to dye my hair impulsively during a manic episode but Pierre has no hair dye left.

Sebastian: Weird, I wonder why *Putting foils in Abigails hair*

-

Farmer: When people say I have daddy issues, it doesn't feel like an insult. It just feels like a fact.

Kent: ...

-

Lewis: Farmer, are you alright?

Farmer, while openly, violently sobbing: Yep! All good!

#stardew #stardew valley #sdv sebastian #stardew sebastian #stardew valley sebastian #sdv shane #sdv #stardew shane #stardew valley shane #sdv abigail #stardew abigail #stardew valley abigail #sdv kent #stardew kent #stardew valley kent #sdv lewis #stardew lewis #stardew valley lewis

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lesbiansforglados · 21 days

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recent stardew valley related stuff

#milos art #stardew valley #stardew #stardew marnie #stardew lewis #lewis and marnie #stardew emily #stardew haley #stardew penny #stardew mara #stardew harvey #stardew shane

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currentlyincognitoperson · 5 months

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Lewis can make himself out of GOLD but can't admit he's in a relationship with Marnie?? Not to mention the fact that he drags the farmer into his bs. Marlon and Marnie need to happen. That man would treat her way better.

#stardew valley #stardew marnie #stardew lewis #I'm sick of this man #Lewis is a bitch #in a bush while his house was RIGHT THERE.#i'm sick #or let her be romanceable.

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that-one-drunk-gay · 7 months

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#Justice for Marnie my queen #stardew valley #sdv #sdv marnie #stardew marnie #sdv lewis #stardew lewis #sdv marlon #stardew marlon #sdv memes

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three-penguins-in-a-trench-coat · 5 months

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Lewis: (leading people around town who are thinking about living in Stardew) "We have a bright and vibrant community here in Pelican Town! If you were to live here, you'd find yourself friends with the whole town before you know it!"

The Farmer, visibly shaking from exhaustion and being held up by pure spite walks over. Their eyes are bloodshot, a sword hangs from their waist and their fists are covered in blood. They pull open their backpack to reveal an entire vegetable plate. Wordlessly, Lewis takes it and stuffs it in his pocket. The Farmer walks off like they're being possessed by a demon that's incredibly drunk and lurch into a rubbish bin. They promptly put the lid of it on their head and stumble into a wall.

Lewis: okay look, it's a transactional relationship

#stardew valley #stardew shitpost #sdv #stardew lewis #sdv lewis #lewis

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snogards · 1 month

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Mods I need in Stardew Valley (I would make them myself if I knew how to do it)

Romancing Caroline. I would do literally anything to steal Pierre's wife away from him. I hate this man. If I didn't hate Joja more, he wouldn't be getting a cent from me. Also, Caroline is lovely and deserves the world. And I don't like Abigail. Ruining her parents' marriage would make me so happy on the inside.

Edit: Nexus mods gaslit me by thinking this didn't exist. Upon a third search (on the same website, might I add), I have found that I can now fulfill my dreams. Omw to marry Caroline 🥰

Marnie breaks up with Lewis. My girl deserves better than him. I'm rooting for her healing and loving herself, but I wouldn’t be mad if she decided to get with Marlon 👀

Farmer can run for mayor. I hate Lewis. You ain't shit without me, bucko. I basically run Pelican Town anyway.

#stardew valley #stardew valley caroline #stardew farmer #stardew marnie #sdv farmer #sdv caroline #sdv mods #sdv marnie #sdv lewis #stardew lewis

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incorrect-stardew-quotes · 9 months

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Farmer: Lewis! I found a hot pepper. Would you like it?

Lewis: That would be wonderful-

Farmer: Well, you can't fucking have it.

Lewis:

Farmer: Doesn't feel so good having having your feelings messed with, does it.

Marnie, who's standing beside Lewis:

#sdv #stardew #stardew valley #sdv lewis #stardew lewis #stardew valley lewis #sdv farmer #stardew farmer #stardew valley farmer #sdv marnie #stardew marnie #stardew valley marnie