#sorry if this is a little long I suffer from I Can't Shut Up Disease | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leverage-ot3 · 4 months

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I was tagged by my buddy and old siren (freeform) mutual @imaginejolls for this ask game!

Star Sign(s): Sagittarius sun, Aquarius moon, Capricorn rising

Favorite Holidays: halloween :3

Last Meal: my mom's cajun beef stew with rice pilaf and a roll

Current Favorite Musician: I've been listening to a lot of noah kahan recently (vermont represent), but I also adore hozier, gracie abrams, lizzie mcalpine, phoebe bridgers, etc. I've never been the same since I was told my taste in music was yallternative. I also love lil nas x and found a new musician through tiktok that goes by brye that is really good

Last Music Listened To: the playlist I listen to the most, especially for sleep: immaculate fall vibes (technically the name of the playlist is just a bunch of the artists featured in it but the description is immaculate fall vibes). my most recent song was save me by noah kahan

Last Movie Watched: this is so embarrasing but I watched the meg with my dad yesterday lmao. I have a weakness for stupid monster movies (we used to watch the shittiest syfy movies together when I was in hs. the shittier the better). I thought he'd like it because jason statham but he was meh about it

Last TV Show Watched: last one I was invested in was the new episode of percy jackson, but I did watch a little bit of that polish show high water on netflix the other day which seemed interesting

Last Book/Fic Finished: god I actually haven't been reading fic for a hot minute which is really surprising. probably my reread of of the northmost winds and skies by @jjackfrost. wasn't in the crossover fandom until earlier this year but actually adore that pairing. this is now my comfort longfic (+400k). it's so good, I read it and I wasn't even in the fandom at the time and it was amazing!!! all the characters are written so well, the voices and pov are great, the worldbuilding and storyling is amazing! I've gushed in the comments before but ugh I love it so so much. inject this into my mf veins

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I don't really abandon fics, I just wait for them to get updated again. as for books, I really tried to get into loveless by alice oseman because aroace rep but I couldn't really get into it :/

Currently Reading: nothing at the moment (not going to list all the fics I'm waiting for updates for because I can't remember them all and the ones I can remember would take up like multiple pages lol)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: ooo this is hard. technically speaking I've been hyperfixated on playing animal crossing so the most recent thing I looked up for that was what treasure islands were lmao

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: oooo I'm not sure actually? I really love having mutuals even if we don't talk. I also really enjoy when people engage with my posts and appreciate my tags and aus. I like sharing my thoughts and ideas with you guys and it's so heartwarming and validating when y'all enjoy it right back

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: I agree with jolly, I miss siren dearly. can they just do a leverage in like five years and retcon the last season? thanks

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: probably some of the kdramas I've watched. I adored the guest on netflix but there's no fandom. I really REALLY wanted some fix-it fics for the ending of my name but there weren't any because the fandom was too small :(

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: so many things that I jump between (the adhd of it all lmao). I really would like to make a leverage ot3: are they queer video essay and I have some stuff typed up BUT I work in the healthcare field and I'm really hesitant of putting myself on video because when you work in this field it can be weird if clients or employers find your channel. so that's technically on hold for privacy reasons rn. I also really want to learn how to sew and make clothes and my roommate has even offered to help (they used to do competitive cosplay) but I'm just very unmotivated. I want to get back into witchy things but don't have the mental energy to invest in that other than appreciating my stones

tagging 10 moots but anyone can play!!!: @leverageclips @all-things-breathing @digitaldiscipline @peachyteabuck @vampirewalterskinner @buzzmcnab @sidras-tak @my-beloved-lakes @kajaono @suddenrundown

#imaginejolls #ask games #jackie talks #about me #mine #not leverage #jjackfrost if you're seeing this ily #sorry if this is a little long I suffer from I Can't Shut Up Disease

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cryoexorcist · 10 months

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trigger warnings: suicide mention, mental health issues

all things considered, the place looks fairly welcoming. it probably has to be, for all the guests and visitors to be happy, but that isn't stopping chongyun from feeling uncomfortable with the setting. the room is bright, with plenty of windows and sunlight coming in. there are color pictures and posters on the wall that give this room a cheery feel to it.

but the biggest damper is sitting across from chongyun and cyno, looking a little too calm. kami is wearing a serene smile that for once, reaches his eyes, and he's watching chongyun with his head tilted to the side, and his brows furrowed together, as if waiting for chongyun to say something. the confusion is understandable, chongyun hadn't been able to find anything to say for almost ten minutes now. instead, he's sitting there with sweaty palms and trembling hands, gripping cyno's hand with a grip so strong his knuckles are almost white.

"i'm not diseased," kami finally says. "if you wanted to say hi, i'm right here. if you want to go ahead and leave, you can." he leans forward, reaching an arm out, but pulling it back. chongyun jerks back in their seat, away from the gesture. they recognize the flicker of hurt on kami's face, but that's hidden behind that stupid serene smile too.

"how drugged are you?" chongyun finally forces out. the words feel empty, not quite right to their own ears. that's not what they wanted to ask!

the smile fades completely from kami's face, and it's his turn to lean back in his chair. his gaze flickers over to cyno as if asking for help, but when cyno doesn't respond, kami lets out a heavy sigh through pursed lips. "i'm not sedated. turns out if you cooperate and do what you're told, they let you off easy. i'm on anti-psychotics though. i don't know if you'd count that as drugged, but whatever."

"yeah." chongyun shrugs, looking out one of the windows. "whatever."

"are you mad at me?" kami asks. chongyun turns back to him, wanting see some sign of the old kami. they don't like this version of him, that's too calm and patient. he's not jumping to bizarre conclusions, he's not anxious or twitching. he seems... almost alien.

"yeah." chongyun clenches their teeth together before leaning forward again, moving both their hands (and cyno's one) onto the table. "i'm pissed, kami. you did something horrible to someone you're supposed to care about. you didn't let me say goodbye to you over text, and i have mandy in my texts-"

kami leans across the table to grip chongyun's wrist, holding onto it so chongyun can't pull away. they gasp, but the action shuts them up.

"i'm sorry," kami says, letting go after a warning glance from a supervising nurse. "chongyun, i am sorry. i said and did a lot of things i didn't mean that night. i was so out of my own head that killing myself sounded like the only option."

chongyun flinches over how candidly kami is admitting that. they jerk back, now wanting to leave. though at this point their legs feel too numb for them to stand up and walk out. the only option is to wait for feeling to return.

"i wasn't right for weeks, yun," kami continues, sounding disappointeed. "they diagnosed me with psychosis. i don't know whatever the fuck that means, but i apparently had a break from reality. something about delusions and paranoia caused by stress. and i get it now. i get it. the weird fear of ren, seeing my mom in my room, my feelings for katelyn, none of it made any sense to me. but it was my reality. i was so sure of everything i was experiencing. it was awful and i feel so sick over it. chongyun i was also really close to buying a plane ticket to wherever katelyn was because i couldn't handle my reality anymore."

psychosis. chongyun has no idea what any of that means. they've heard the term before, but had always brushed it off as someone else's problems, it would never happen to anyone they knew. but to hear that kami had been suffering from that for a long time, and can talk about it without it feeling so taboo, chongyun isn't sure whether or not to be proud of kami for getting help, or disgusted that they hadn't seen the signs earlier.

there's another pause in conversation. kami is clearly waiting for chongyun to say something, but instead, they pull their hand away from cyno's to wipe their palms dry. staring down at their lap, chongyun pulls out the cellphone they smuggled in.

"i kept your phone charged." chongyun sets it on the table. "you got a message from mandy." they nudge it forward. for a second, kami stares at the phone before glancing up and around. chongyun follows their gaze, but no one's really looking anymore.

kami then grabs the phone and flicks through it. there's a frown on his face, and chongyun can recognize the expression of defeat. that must be ren's message again. then, kami looks elated, and types something out. chongyun's own brow furrows in confusion. seconds later, the phone is being pushed back across the table and right back into chongyun's hands.

"what'd you do?" chongyun asks.

"for one, stop going through my phone and using it to talk to people. i wanted you to have it to hold onto, not to invade my privacy. second off, i sent a quick message to mandy." kami shrugs. "and if you know who wants to pull his head out of his ass long enough to talk to me, he's welcome to come find me. otherwise, i'm more than happy pretending we don't know each other."

"sorry." chongyun pockets the phone again. "i had to let him know somehow."

"my phone is not your toy," kami chides. "stay out of it." he pats the table. "look. i'm not going to keep you, i know you don't want to be here. but i'm sorry. i have more clarity than i have in weeks, months, whatever. the meds are helping, i'm finally sleeping without nightmares, and i'm going to do what ren asked me to do and talk to people in person when i get out."

"you can technically get out now."

"yeah, but i don't want to yet." kami leans forward. "just because i made progress doesn't mean i feel ready to leave. i want to know my options when i leave, what my medication and prescription will be like. if i need to talk to people some more. there's still a lot of shit i want squared away. give me another few days, and then you and i can have an actual conversation."

"...fine." chongyun grabs at cyno's hand again, giving it a squeeze. "i'm glad you're doing better."

"me too." kami grins again. "don't worry over me. let everyone else process their own shit. i'll deal with me, you deal with you." he turns to cyno next. "keep an eye on my baby brother, okay? don't let them spiral because of me."

he then makes a shooing motion. "get out of here. go enjoy the rest of your day. i'm going to go take a nap and enjoy the hell out of it. or go color some more. did you know they only let us use crayons? big L. "

"you're such a loser," chongyun snorts. "are we allowed to hug?"

"yeah, of course." kami gets to his feet and walks around the table. he doesn't wait for chongyun to stand up before wrapping his arms around him, giving him a reassuring squeeze. next, cyno gets a hug too. "it'll be okay. both of you, just breathe, this isn't the end of the world. i love you both, alright?"

"i love you too," chongyun says. they fall silent as they and cyno leave the facility. even if chongyun is still mad at kami, they're at least glad that they got to see what just a few days had done for him. and when kami finally gets out, he'll probably be doing even better than today.

#drabble #v. connected the dots ; didn't connect shit ( MODERN. )#suicide mention #mental health talk #mental health facility #whump #mentioned characters: cyno (saru) mandy and ren

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thepixelelf · 2 years

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warnings: mentions of murder, death, and disease. read with: [solve me]

[solve me, before] As hard as you'd worked to get your position at Berringer Laboratories, your job can be monotonous on some days. A lot of days, actually. Despite knowing well how dangerous the lab you're walking into is, you simply go through the motions; tapping the code to the lab in the incredibly expensive PIN pad, washing your hands, and putting on your plastic, form-fitting gloves. You'd long ago bought custom safety goggles so your ears and nose wouldn't have to suffer under plastic that's somehow always the wrong size.

You sigh in the empty coldroom, your shoulders rising and falling for no one to see. Sometimes you wonder if you've messed up by choosing a profession with so little human interaction, but then you remember that summer you spent working at a LuluLemon six years ago, and you affirm your choice with reverence.

After filling out the workplace safety form for your shift, you put the clipboard down on the counter, then step in front of the cooler that was delivered to the coldroom last night. All you have to do is open the cooler and observe the reactions of GRON-02 with the various different samples that were mixed with it yesterday. It's not a physically taxing job by any means, but it will take an entire day, which is why you ate a hearty breakfast before arriving at the lab this morning. Welp, you might as well get started while it's still early. Maybe you'll even get to go home early and eat something nice for dinner.

You punch in the PIN for the cooler and hear the satisfying hiss as the airlock releases. Mist seeps through the line between the basin and the lid of the cooler. But as you lift the lid, your eyes widen, and you slap your hand over your mouth and nose.

Too late, you think immediately.

Every single test tube is uncorked. One, maybe, and you could account that to faulty delivery, but all of them...

Not to mention the note nestled between the tubes in the middle, half of it wet with the liquefied form of GRON-02. You can still see what's written on it, though.

THE PRICE OF ARROGANCE

You don't take the time to think about what that means, instead reaching across the counter to the emergency button on the wall. Running on straight, unfiltered adrenaline, you smash the protective glass over it with your fist alone. Alarms ring throughout the coldroom, spreading undoubtedly to the rest of the building. You hear the click of the lock in the door, the suction as it goes into airlock mode. The vents slip shut, cutting off the contaminated air from travelling out of the coldroom — and consequently, into it.

You run to the inner storage closet, pulling it open with one hand, your other moved so half your face is hidden in the corner of your elbow as you hold your breath for as long as you can. Your eyes widen, though, because right where four — four — chemical respirator masks are supposed to be hanging, there is nothing.

Everything clicks together at once. The uncorked tubes. The note. The missing respirators.

This was no accident.

You don't know why you don't immediately call emergency services, but your hands shake as you pull out your phone, and before you even know how to make sense of what your fingers are doing, you're calling him.

Your nerves don't even let him make a sound once the dial tone stops. "Daeyeol?"

"Yes?"

"Um, hey. Sorry, this—" God, this was a horrible idea. You haven't talked to Daeyeol since his cousin cheated on your best friend, and now you're calling him only when you need him? You can't just do that. "This is kind of awkward. Sorry. How are you doing?"

"...Fine." Daeyeol's answer is hesitant. He's not upset at you, is he?

"Great! That’s great," you say, trying to put a little pep in your voice despite the way your body is starting to shake with nerves. "I heard you made it to the homicide division? Congratulations."

You shut the cooler and activate the airlock on it. Even though the damage is done in this room, you can at least seal what's still in the cooler and not thicken the air around you even further with GRON-02.

"Thanks… I heard you’re working at Berringer Laboratories." Daeyeol's voice through the phone, even if it's confused and questioning, sort of soothes you in a weird way. It's been a long time since you've talked to him, and it's nice to hear his voice again.

"Yeah, it’s—" You sniffle as you move to the opposite side of the coldroom, thumping your back against the corner and sliding down the wall until you sit curled up on the floor. "It’s really nice so far. Er, was."

It was nice until now, with you in an airtight contaminated lab full of a disease with little to no research under its belt. All you really know is that it's highly contagious — and deadly.

Daeyeol says your name in concern just as you say, "Listen."

When you know he's waiting for you to continue, you take in a shaky breath. It doesn't matter anymore. You've already breathed in enough.

"I called to report in a murder."

"What? Whose murder?"

You hope Daeyeol can solve this murder. Even better if he does before it happens.

"...Mine."

#golden child scenarios #golden child imagines #golcha scenarios #golcha imagines #gncd scenarios #gncd imagines #daeyeol scenarios #daeyeol imagines #lee daeyeol scenarios #lee daeyeol imagines #jangjun scenarios #jangjun imagines #lee jangjun scenarios #lee jangjun imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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hopes-peak-postal-company · 2 years

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It's 2022 on Mod Tsumugi's end, so Happy New Year! It's been really crazy this 2021 and I honestly can't wait to see what the future has in store. Let's run down what happened in our humble little postal company, shall we?

We posted 87 times in 2021

85 posts created (98%)

2 posts reblogged (2%)

For every post we reated, we reblogged 0.0 posts.

We added 174 tags in 2021

#danganronpa - 32 posts

#mod tsumugi - 30 posts

#danganronpa x reader - 28 posts

#danganronpa imagines - 16 posts

#navi - 15 posts

#mod sonia - 15 posts

#mod hajime - 11 posts

#drv3 - 10 posts

#danganronpa v3 - 9 posts

#super danganronpa 2 - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 68 characters

#i swear i didn't spend a lot of my time making that edit asdfghjkl;'

Our Top Posts in 2021

Hi Mod Mikan! Is there any chance I can request Nagito, Kokichi, Saihara, and Kiibo with an s/o with crazy stamina in the bedroom? To the point where they can walk around and talk and be totally fine even after several rounds? (Bonus points for overstimulation). Sorry if this is a request you can’t fulfill! Thanks so much!

I......think I understand what you mean, honey. I tried my best with this request. I'm sorry if I butchered this a bit. Please tell me if you want a redo, sweetheart. Honest, I don't mind. I hope you enjoy my writing anyways, lovely <3

Warnings: High sexual stamina, overstimulation, edging, praise, GN! Reader, and general NSFW stuff

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59 notes • Posted 2021-12-28 16:33:21 GMT

oya, mod tsumugi, can i get a confession letter from kokichi? 😳

yes, 'nonnie. anything for you and your anonymous clan. 💙

hope you enjoy!

(how long do you think i can keep up this game of making each letter description longer than the previous one? should i continue it for shits and giggles? do you think my experiment of writing past midnight turned me crazy? will i ever shut up? find out next time--)

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63 notes • Posted 2021-12-03 18:51:21 GMT

If that's okay could i request Epel, Rook and Malleus with a ridicolously lucky s/o? Like Nagito Komaeda kind of luck?

Since we're somehow talking about dr now, bonus if they're also an hopes peak student lmao hakavskavsk-

SO LUCKY, LUCKY!

summary. headcanons of epel felmier, rook hunt and malleus draconia with a ridiculously lucky s/o!

includes. established romantic relationship ( hence the s/o ). s/o's luck is similiar to komaeda's. cursing ( on my part ).

notes. IM SO SORRY I DIDN'T ANSWER THIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE— i was busy with studying and stuff that i completely forgot i was in a writing group D:

also i'm unsure if you're referring to me when requesting this ( though, i'm the only mod who write for twst from what i remember ) but yeah !! :D

so, next time if you plan on requesting again, do remember to address a mod and this also goes to other people who wants to request ! ^^

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67 notes • Posted 2021-12-13 10:40:25 GMT

Hey Mod Akane. Can you please do angst headcanons for the Danganronpa V3 boys reacting to their S/O who has the Hanahaki Disease?

I’m sorry that this sucked and that the characters probably sounded oc I haven’t played V3 in ages, I tried to go for a thing where you guys aren’t dating, but your close because hanahaki disease is when your suffering unrequited love and if you guys were together it wouldn’t be that, so you wouldn’t have had the hanahaki disease. I’ve also made it, so it doesn’t specify the crush, so you can imagine for yourself.

Danganronpa V3 boys reacting to reader who has the Hanahaki Disease:

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85 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 23:07:03 GMT

hi mod mikan <3 !! would you mind writing comfort sex hcs for shuichi (x reader)?

Of course, angel! My absolute favorite thing to write about my favorite husbando: Comfort. In one way or another.......;)

I hope you enjoy, and let me know if you want me to change anything, my darling. And this is a GN reader, btw

Warnings: NSFW below the cut. Mentions of b0dy disc0mfort

See the full post

116 notes • Posted 2021-10-22 18:59:31 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review here ^^ →

#milestone #happy new year!

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nowheretobefound101 · 3 years

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I Will Find You

A one-shot story dedicated to humanity who suffers fear and pure sadness because of the unacceptable truth about death.

I know how you admire this place so much. A place where you always pick up your fresh daisies and collect it in your handwoven basket. This flower field of yours is where our story began and I still remember the scent of freshly picked flowers all over your dress and hair, and also, your signature smile that never fails to enlighten my days after it.

Right now, at this moment, you give me this nostalgia just like back in the day I first met you.

I was just roaming around in this unfamiliar place until I got lost in the middle of your flower field. I am just moved in at my grandparents' house at that time, and I decided to sneak out of the house for a while to find out if something is amusing in this place. I continue strolling around until I saw you, gracefully sitting on the ground filled with daisies, sweetly humming a calm melody, and your hair flows smoothly with the air that also gave off its a vivid color like it kisses the sun.

I silently walked towards you and crouched in front of you. As you opened your eyes, I saw a great shocked in your face.

"AHHH!! WHO ARE YOU!? DON'T MAKE A MOVE." You screamed as if I will gonna rob you.

"Ohh, My bad for scaring you, I'm lost." I said.

"Your name's lost? I think your parents' had a bad taste." She giggled as she fixed her dress.

"No, I... I mean, I am literally 'lost',and Jack is my name!" I corrected.

"I'm just kidding! By the way, I'm Elsa. I see that your are the newcomer that your grandma told me for a couple of days ago." She said.

"Okay, so my grandma never runs out of stories to tell huh. But, please, I just want to go home right now 'cuz I just sneaked out in fixing my stuffs."

"So someone's getting trouble later!" She teased.

"C'mon, just help me!" I pleaded.

"Calm down you sneaky ones, I'll help you, okay, but first, help me to pick these daisies for your grandma. And yeah, if you wanted a place for yourself you can just freely visit my flower field."

"Thank you for your warm welcoming, Elsa." I said.

After we picked up those daisies for my grandma, she guided and walked me home. I never imagine that my grandparents are really closed to her. I thought that they'll gonna sermon me, instead, they were both glad and shocked that I already known Elsa.

And also, I found out where my grandma, who is so fond of daisies, came from.

Every afternoon, we are always staying on our spot in your flower field. We eat, laugh, tell some stories, collect some flowers to be sold on the market, music jamming, and even ending up taking a nice nap wherein sometimes, grandma will gonna wake us up if she minded to visit the place.

Days... Months... To years. Two people who begin and meet up as strangers, and now, I can't believe that you are my fiance.

But, Is this a right choice?

I keep regretting myself, every day along with our joys and love, not telling you the real reason why I moved with my grandparents. You only knew that I moved because I don't have parents anymore. I also told my grandparents for a long time ago to keep my secret hidden from the world I know.

I agreed to live for the rest of my years with my grandparents, hide until it ended because of my terrible fate, yet, everything changes until you came into my hopeless life. It is all coincidental and you never failed to enlighten me. Honestly, I failed too many times in love but you are something unique and special that I've never seen to anyone.

You are the only one who enlightened my hopeless heart and soul.

And the day I feared came as I passed out in the middle of the fields while we are happily collecting some daisies. That moment, my sight slowly turns blurry and I can't even feel my body anymore. As I fell through the grounds, I saw the daisies burst out in the mid-air, suddenly, I heard your voice repeatedly calling my name... calling some help, until everything went pitch black.

As I woke up, I feel so weak, I am not even aware of what day it is, and I am just catching up on my breath. I tried to look around and I saw you, sitting beside my bed and sleeping as your head placed to your arms down to my bed, I want to call your name, but, I really can't. Luckily, you noticed me awake as you feel me moved my hands to yours. You quickly stand up and sit in front of me, you planned to call my grandparents but I stopped you because I want to let you know all my regrets before my time ends.

"Elsa, I am begging you, just listen to me."

"What is it Jack, I'm here and I can hear you." I see into your eyes how worried you are and feel it on how you pressed my hands.

"I am sorry if I'd never confessed to you about this unknown disease that makes me weaker every single day. I moved to my grandparents to hide my terrible and undesirable fate to all as I wanted to shut myself out from anyone. Yet, you came into my life. I don't blame it okay, honestly, I am glad that I met you. I know from the start that I can't keep this from you forever but I just don't want to see you and my grandparents burden the pains when I left. I'm so sorry, Elsa. I am really sorry."

"Hush, my darling and just take a deep breath. I knew it already, as I observed how clumsy you are, as to how you see the world around you, as to how those medicines were in your pockets... I knew it already, Jack. When you were carried here by our fellow villagers, your grandparents also talked to me about this and on how you shut yourself so you can't see anyone suffers. Jack, I am also glad that you are the only person who showed me the beauty of falling in love, you also gave colors to my world, and you also enlighten me to appreciate the world. You had done nothing wrong." She confessed.

"If this is the time for you to take your rest... It's okay, Jack. Don't worry too much about us." She added.

"Uhm... Elsa... Ca... Can I ask you something?" I weakly said to her. I am trying my best to catch up on some air as I still can.

"What is it?" She answered.

" I know we can't stop the time, dear. I'm sincerely sorry, but, I... I just wish to see you, smiling in front of me for the last time because this is the only thing, my last memorabilia of you, that I can take for my departure. I... I know it's hard for you to--"

You stopped me as you placed your hands on my cheeks and rubbing my tears that flow in my face. I weakly smiled at you as I felt the your gentle hands for the last time.

"I'll smile for you even you don't request it from me." She answered.

As she smiled, she can't control herself from her overflowing emotions of pain and sadness as I see her cry at the same time.

I see my grandparents for the last time trying to not interrupting us. They are just silently standing, and peeking and listening through a small gap in the door. She didn't notice them as she continuously cries out.

"It's okay to cry, Elsa." I said. I just hope that I can wipe her tears back. "Thank you for making me happy within my limited time. I'm sorry if I need to leave you so suddenly. I love you as I will be waiting for you in our next lives." I smiled, yet, everything surrounds me faded little-by-little.

"I love you 'till we meet again. Sleep now, Jack." And this is the last thing I heard.

Elsa cried so hard after I left and my grandparents open the door and approach her. Then, the room is just filled with their mourns and tears around my dead body.

Days turn to weeks that passed away quickly... I can't even tell you that my soul is still wandering around in this world because I was told to finish my last mission.

From the first, it made my mind discombobulated until I see your name flash within my memory.

"You are my last mission." I told to myself.

Even though you can't see, feel, or hear me anymore, I can still able to guide you throughout your sufferings. My soul's still alive to finish my last mission because you are still believing in me.

But history repeats itself, and now, I see myself to you who shut yourself to everyone. I can only sense your agonies, fears, and sadness all over the room. My grandparents always checked you in your home, yet, you always said that "You're fine. Just leave me alone."

What should I do? I want to accomplish this mission, but how?

I remembered that you have a sister who lives in the near village with her husband. I tried to find her, however, I still don't know what will should I do.

When night came, I planned if I can able to write and luckily I have enough strength as a soul to do it. While your sister and her husband sleeping, I tried to write a short letter that I hope it may help you.

Days later, your sister saw your letter and visit you again. She opens and enters your cabin, removed and placed her winter coat into the rack behind the door, and she goes straight to your room.

She knocks on your door but you didn't answered. She called,

"Elsa, please I know you're in there

People are asking where you've been

They say, 'have courage' and I'm trying to,

I'm right out here for you

Just let me in."

But still, you have no response.

Anna calls you for another time,

" We only have each other

It's just you and me

What are we gonna do?"

And you suddenly opened your door and let your sister enter. Both of you stand beside your window that is full of daisies. You still don't make any response and Anna seems so worried about you. But, as the moment you pick up a daisy, Anna blurted out in her soft comforting voice, "Do you want to build a snowman?" After you hear it out clearly, you cried out in front of her.

I see, You made to let out your emotions again after I left at the beginning of winter.

Tears just suddenly flow down from your eyes and your sister continues to comfort you.

"Elsa, shutting yourself and burdening it by yourself is not what Jack wanted for you right? Yesterday, I found a piece of paper hidden in our picture. Do you wanna read it. Here, take this." Anna slipped out a paper and held it to Elsa.

Elsa read it loudly that the two of them can hear...

"Love can heal a frozen heart. Both of your hearts were like your daisies: Pure, innocent, and there it lies your true love. If you had read this, remember that when you feel lost through your darkness, let your daisies enlighten you towards your true love.

P.S. I will get mad if you forget how to smile :)

Anna, protect her from me okay. I'm sorry if I can't give you some chocolates this time."

"Jack's really full of fun and suprises." Elsa giggles.

"Finally, you smiled again, I hope he can see you smile like that again." Anna frankly said.

"C'mon, I know that whenever he is, he always gonna see this smile of mine." Elsa said.

"So, do you want to build a snowman, the flower fields seems to be filled up with snow." Anna joyfully asked.

"If you insisted. Thank you, Anna." And she hugged her sister so tight and Anna also hugged her back.

Anna suddenly holds Elsa's hand and rushed out because of her excitement, they run straight to the fields and dive mountains mountain of snow.

I watched you played with your sister and build a snowman, I also tried to join your fun the last time. So, I scoop a pile of snow and form some snowballs. At first, I hit you, and it was so fun that you blame Anna just like before when I still have my body. Then, I hit your sister next that makes her revenge and rained you with her snowballs.

Finally, you set me free and I also set you free.

I know you can sense me even you can't see me anymore...

For the last time, I just wanna say thank you for believing in me for no matter what reasons, and, for now, before I take step to eternity, I want you to know that I promised myself that you are the only person I'll find and love you again through our next lives, see you soon.

"I will also find you, Jack. You are the only man that I will love again in our next lives. Thank you and see you soon." You whispered and tears started to fall to you.

Did you really reply to me, Elsa? No, it must be a coincidence.

"I can sense you there like a friend I've always known. Show yourself, I'm no longer trembling." You opened your eyes and started to see me like a dream.

I come close to you and place my head into yours.

"I see, you still believe in me no matter what." I whispered to her.

"Yes, Jack. Until eternity. Can I feel you for the last time?"

"Yes, you may, Elsa. I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled as you closed your eyes and cry.

Once I closed my eyes, I cried and at the same time I feel my soul fades little-by-little.

And for the last time, I see your smile from the day I first encountered you.

Because it is the only smile that enlightened me out of my darkness.

See you soon. I will find and love you again to our next lives.

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mytwistedhome · 4 years

Text

Pomefiore and Ignihyde when they find out you have Anorexia

Trigger warning to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder!!

I decided to write these headcanons because I've been having a really tough two weeks, and thinking of the twst boys makes me happy...

I hope this can maybe bring comfort to someone else, or at least provide some bit of entertainment. My intention is not to cause harm or trigger anyone. That is the last thing I want.

Other dorms will be coming as well! I already started working on all of them, but I just haven’t finished them. They will most likely be posted the next time I have a bad day //

One more quick thing: I will be posting requests this week! I’ve already broken several promises that I made in regards to the time I’d post, and I feel horribly guilty. I’m sorry for the wait. I know I shouldn’t tell you to expect something on a certain day and then delay it for weeks. I should be honest about my efficiency, and I am sorry.

I'm also sorry for not responding to message (this applies to all my blogs...) I see them, but then forget about them, and then cower away because I feel like I'm already too late. I hope this little apology is enough to suffice... I'll apologize properly to every person when I find the courage. I know I shouldn't be doing this to people who've been kind to me just because I feel unwell. Please know that I am very sorry, and I'm trying to be more responsible and less careless to those around me.

💜

Vil Shoenheit

So that's why your skin is so dry and you have bags under your eyes

He scolds you at first. He believes that you’re starving to get a good figure, and he tries to inform you that doing so is unhealthy and that being malnourished actually makes a person quite ugly.

As if you haven’t already heard all this before

You try to tell him that you’re not doing this to look good. At least, not anymore. Sure, it started out as a way to lose weight, but it soon became an obsession much more meaningful than beauty or weight-loss.

He doesn’t understand. Why would you deliberately hurt yourself like that? Especially when you’re aware of all these negative outcomes?

Nevertheless, he is still very worried about you

He wouldn't normally concern himself with such a personal problem, but he would feel so guilty if he just stood back and watched you whither away

So, he does, indeed, go out of his way to try and help you

He finds a psychology book about eating disorders in the library, and he reads it in its entirety

He is... quite disturbed. He never imagined that you could be suffering so badly.

He's smart enough to realize that he, himself, can't do anything to make you better

He encourages you to seek professional help, and he even searches for phone numbers you can call and therapists/counselors close by of whom you can see

You are really touched by his efforts to find help, and you promise him that you will see one of the counselors he recommended

But... several weeks go by, and you haven't done anything

Vil grows furious. Don’t you want help!?

He takes your lack of seeking help rather personally... He went out of his way to provide with the things he felt that you really needed. Don’t you appreciate that? Don’t you care about yourself? What more do you want him to do?

You try to tell him that you don’t want him to do anything, that you’ll find help when you’re ready--

Vil isn’t buying that

What does “ready” mean, anyways? When you’re already in the grave?

He’s a bit harsh on you... He points out the patches of dry skin along your neck and chest, the way the hairs of your arms always stand on end from goosebumps, the metallic taste in your mouth...

Are you happy with those things? Do you really want to live this way?

You try and try to explain to him that it’s hard to get help and go back to eating normally

It spirals into an argument...

Vil is done with this. He did what he could and got you the resources you need to begin recovery. Once you decide to get help, he will be there for you. He will be there whenever you reach out for support, comfort, or care. But, until then, don’t talk to him about it. Don’t complain about your misery until you have sought proper help. It’s your fault at this point, isn’t it?

Rook Hunt

He had noticed that you were very quickly losing a lot of weight

He was concerned, but he never imagined that the problem could be something so serious

You're actually surprised with just how much he's concerned. You thought that if there was anyone to romanticize such a disease, it would be him

But he seems to know more than you thought about such disorders

He begs you to get professional help, and he is quite a bit more pushy and earnest than Vil is...

You try to explain to him that no doctor or therapist could ever help unless you were READY and WANTED to be helped

Well, he doesn't understand why you don't want help

He's pushing and pushing you... begging you to seek a professional

You get so frustrated that you turn and leave. He just doesn't understand!

And now Rook is even more distressed. How will he ever get through to you? How can he ever help you?

Now, every time he sees you, he looks at you with such sorrow

He sadly remarks upon how your beauty is fading... and how he fears that your life may be fading as well

Your heart aches to hear such sincere worry... Your chest feels tighter than it normally does as you crumble with guilt

You promise yourself you'll get better... Just so you won't have to see Rook with a horribly sad expression whenever he passes you

You start eating more in front of him to ease his worry, which does work a little bit

You add about 400 more calories to your usual intake--enough so that your "recovery" becomes visible through the way you bounce with energy

But you stay up late at night, running laps and doing situps to burn off some of that intake

And you keep losing weight

In fact, it's worse now because your body is aching from the unfamiliar intake and exercise...

Well, at least you look better

At least you have Rook fooled

Or so you think. It'll only be a matter of weeks before he catches onto your schemes and grows so distressed once again

He tries to sit you down and have a talk with you... He just really wants you to get help

Epel Felmier

Poor Epel finds out after he witnesses you collapsing in the middle of the hallway when no one else is around

He panics and rushes to your side, trying to see what is wrong and how he can help you

You blacked out for several seconds, which is why you collapsed, but even though you have your vision back, everything is still very cloudy and you are too weak to stand up

This makes Epel panic even more

You try to calm him down, despite your weakness

"it's okay, Epel...! Just get me something to eat. Please, I need something to eat. Hurry!"

He is a bit confused, but he does what you say, and he rushes off to find you some food

While he is gone, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your stomach aches with hunger and you are cold all over. Your body just feels so miserable

He rushes back to you with an apple and places his hands on your shoulders in concern as you quickly eat it down

That apple... It's the best thing you've ever tasted, but it's gone too quickly, and your mouth waters for more as the last bites slide down your throat

Although it was small, it still gives your body such a blissful burst of energy. All your senses are ignited now that you have finally eaten something after such a long fast, and your head is hurting far less

You stand up and smile at Epel, thanking him graciously before turning to leave

Uuuhhhhh.... What was that?

You suddenly collapse on the ground and then are all better after eating a simple apple?

No way is Epel going to let you go just like that. He holds you back, demanding an explanation, for it surely seems you know quite a bit about this bizarre thing that just happened

You try to tell him it's nothing, just a strange thing that happened this one time

Well, then, how did you know how to fix it by eating something?

You quickly lie and tell him you get dizzy sometimes and fall due to low blood sugar

Well, now your story is inconsistent

He presses you for the truth, growing rather angry

His harsh tone begins to scare you, and you tell him... You tell him that, sometimes, you go days without eating, and it of course causes you to grow so weary that you faint

You watch as all the frustration quickly rushes away from Epel's face, leaving his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock

"That... That's really unhealthy..."

Oh, great. Not this speech again

But, it actually isn't a lecture about how this is such a "dangerous diet"

Instead, Epel pours out all his concern with a sad look upon his face

He knows that he can't do much, but he assures you that you can come to him if ever things become too tough to handle

You're touched by his offer, and you thank him for his understanding

But, now, everytime he's around, he watches you with care to see if you're doing alright and to make sure you don't fall over again

You hadn't expected him to worry this much...

If Epel ever thinks that things are getting out of hand, he will likely go behind your back to someone who can help for your sake

💙

Idia Shroud

He really wishes that he hadn't found out because now he can't stop worrying

This is the kind of thing that would just be easier to ignore and shut away from his mind

But how could he possibly ignore something as serious as this?

He keeps telling himself that this isn't supposed to be his issue

But... It is his issue, isn't it? If you ended up dying and he knew all along about your suffering yet did nothing to help, than that would mean that he aided in your death, right?

He's really starting to panic. He doesn't what you dead. Not at all

But... What is he supposed to do???

He calms himself down and tries to think

Perhaps if he built you a mechanical body that didn't need food this whole thing would seize to be a problem...

No, bad idea

Well, that will be his last resort if nothing else works...

He messages you and tries to plead with you to please just eat and take care of yourself...

You message back, explaining to him that it really isn't that simple

He decides to ask why you're doing this, and he tries to show through his words how much he really cares

You feel comfortable enough in telling him some of the reasons why you think you started, and why it's now so hard to stop and all you want is to continue with it...

Idia is happy that you were able to open up to him this much, but what is he really supposed to do with this information? He's no therapist...

Well, being vulnerable with you emotions and talking about the problem is at least one step in the right direction, isn't it?

Idia continues to try to be a source of comfort for you, while also encouraging you to seek proper help

Ortho Shroud

Oh, no... He can’t help you with this, can he?

Why can’t he help you? Why won’t you get better?

Surely nii-san programmed him with something that could help you...

Right...?

RIGHT!?

Why aren’t you better?

Why are you doing this to yourself!?

Ortho is a mess... so distressed. He can’t understand--he doesn’t have the capacity to understand such a disorder, and he is so frustrated that nothing he does is helping!

And he does everything

He exhausts himself trying to “fix your mind”

His eyes are wide, yellow irises shaking with misery

Knowing that you are willingly hurting yourself actually traumatizes him...

He can't wrap his head around such an awful mental illness. To him, it looks as though you're really trying to harm, hurt, and even kill yourself by your own accord

Something must be wrong with your brain, but he just doesn't know what!

The poor child is so upset. He's panicked and worried sick

And now you feel even worse

Sorry for ending on such a horrible note... I was originally going to have all the dorms, so Diasomnia would’ve come and saved the day, but I just didn’t finish them.

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