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the-orange-tabby-cat · 7 months

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Wings Of The Dawn | Chapter 4

AO3 link🐾 | chapter 1 | 2 | 3

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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader Rating: 18+ (minor smut in this chapter) Tags: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Age Difference, Small Town Dynamics, No use of y/n Word count of the chapter: 7,9k Next chapter will be posted: October 4th (You can find a sneak peek of the next chapter at AO3)

Summary of the fic: You are Jackson’s librarian, a doll with a good heart, that has your life changed when a handsome man decides to take his kid and start again in your small town after completing their cross country journey. Having a hard time ignoring Joel’s dark brown eyes, you find yourself wishing to have him close as you both navigate through love triangles, teenage drama, city gossip, and ghosts from both of your pasts. This is a comfort fic filled with slow burn and small town dynamics. Chapter summary: You and Joel start a friendship, or is that what you try to tell yourself.

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CHAPTER 4

Massive droplets of rain hitting the window glass, the way a love one laughs, strawberry with cold cream on a hot day, petting a dog and feeling the softness of its fur. Memory can be attached to almost anything if you have the right moment to gather. Sometimes humans choose something to remember dearly and hold on to, other times we just find out when we least expect it that a memory still is inside of us, even if we don't realize it.

The sound of wood being dragged across the floor, the singular high pitch scratched your mind and resurfaced something you would like to forget: Jason and Albert using their forces to drag a heavy bookshelf to close the door of the church’s archives, as the rest of the family ran to hide inside a vault.

Your ear channel hurt with the sudden sound then just like now, but this time you weren’t hiding from the end of the world thinking it was the final judgment, you were watching Joel dismount a shelf because of you.

Joel had helped you to take all the books from the shelves, cleared a whole day just for it. You didn’t ask him just like he didn’t offer, he simply paid attention to what you said (mostly to yourself) yesterday about the library’s maintenance.

“Shit, shit, shit!” You cursed under your breath, moving your hands quickly from book to book. Joel was right behind you, looking curiously at your stress.

"What's wrong?" He tried to snoop around, but you were focused on finding the bad books.

Paper termites were your father's nightmare and, by extension, yours too. Fast infestation, these little bugs could put down a whole shelf in days if not taken care of properly. Seeing the damage, you separated some books with the brown mass of bugs to discharge, already tracing a plan.

Joel kept quiet floating around you, getting impatient to understand what was happening. You knew that because you started to absorb his mannerisms: he pops a knee to rest or listen better, he chews his mouth corners when lost in thoughts, and – your favorite – he enjoys mimicking your pace and following you from corner to corner while talking.

“Dolly,” he chanted and got your attention right away.

Shit. He never called you by your nickname, just your name, still following your lead from your first official meeting. Watching your hurt expression, he raised his brows and pointed to the books you had separated.

“Oh, sorry. Paper termites, it's a book plague. I'll need to close the library and find the root of it." Grimacing at him, you were already tired thinking of the amount of work to come.

"What's the plan?" His eyes were observing a book from your hands. Joel was so close that you could feel his body heat, something normal since he had started to lower his armor whenever it was just you both.

“Check book by book, eliminate the shelves where I found the infested ones, and make this whole place squeaking clean." You groaned loudly from the thought, Joel just nodded. With his arms in front of his body waiting on your cue, you deposited a book.

“What about the old shelves?” He questioned, still following you from shelf to shelf, holding in his arms the books your trained eyes could see as bad. Your bodies moved in synchrony, already used to each other’s way of walk.

“Make a deal with Alfie, give him these and ask for new ones.”

Looking at him, you made your best effort to not smile at the scowl that adorned his face. You knew he had seen you before with the man, just like he must have found out through the city folks about Alfie’s intentions with you. The idea of Joel feeling jealous was too much of a hope.

“Nonsense. I can make you, and I can make you good.” He simply retorted, not giving space for you to accept or deny his proposal. Sucking on your lower lip with shyness, you looked at his dark brown eyes.

With some seconds of bravery, you placed a sweet kiss on his cheekbone and left to check another shelf. "Thanks, that would be much appreciated."

He picked up his pace and followed you, still holding your books pile. And that’s how, the next morning, you were watching him get the bad bookshelves out of the library.

"Okay, what's the final damage?" He questioned while popping his knee. A light layer of sweat across his deep blue t-shirt that made his eyes appear even darker, to which you thanked the hot weather for forcing Joel to not wear a flannel shirt. His broad shoulders would be the death of you.

“Seventeen books and two shelves. Not bad." Smiling, you raised your hand for a high-five.

“Attagirl,” Joel praised touching his hand with yours. “Will take these books out to burn, it’s too heavy for you. Are any of those Ellie’s favorites?”

"As a matter of fact, yes, one of them is a pun book." Joel furrowed his brows at your sorry tone and sad face, but you quickly amended it with another smile. "I'm fucking with you. She is safe."

Pouting because of your tease, he left with the pile of books without another word. Not that you needed, over time it was implicit that he would always be back. As he left the library, Nath appeared greeting him and holding the door as he passed, giving you a thumbs up when Joel disappeared.

“All good in paradise, huh?” She teased you knowing that, deep down, you would agree.

Life was good with Joel around. You both found excuses to get closer, to insert into each other lives without complicating it. The last days were all about testing waters, putting one foot down hoping it would be warm enough to dive into it.

“See, if I have time – which I don’t – I’d ask you about the hurricane that passed here. I get that the cowboy is from Texas, but holy molly, this place is a mess.”

“Not a hurricane but termites. He is helping with the shelves, not that I need to justify having a friend around.” As you narrowed your eyes Nath got the message. Even if you were getting closer, that was who he was, a friend.

"Easy tiger, I like the cowboy. Even if he doesn't cook or give me a bike, still a cool dude." She shrugged just to inhale deeply right after it, preparing the scene. "Please tell me that you're coming to the movie night this Friday. I put some fucking effort in the program, after all, we're about to enter campaign season." Nath put both hands on her waist, chin up, and smiled broadly with closed eyes, beaming in confidence. Her t-shirt with a drawing of duct tape and the words "lip gloss for whiners" didn't help much in her case.

You knew it was coming around. The summer solstice marked the exact date for the election, every year, with just a month to go. However, one thing is knowing it is getting close, another is being ready for it. In your heart, it was clear that your fear was motivated by the idea of being rejected, especially when you wanted to stay until the end of your days inside Jackson's walls.

Watching you get lost in your head, Nath sighed and snapped her fingers at you. “Earth calling, hello! You’ll be fine, you worry too much about this as if you didn’t know everyone loves you.”

“Loves me or fears you?” Nath contemplated your statement for a second, her eyes looking up almost as if they could see the answers above.

“Both, you’re the jam to my peanuts, Doll. But again, the movie night? Please!” She threw herself dramatically at you, her mouth open as she groaned, taking a loud laugh from yours.

“Stop it, I’ll be there! What’s the program?”

When she wasn’t busy at the Bison or trying to rule the world, Nath liked to watch movies. Not just watch, to be more specific she liked to appreciate the seventh art. If Jason had developed your musical taste, her grandpa would narrate to her movies as bedtime stories. Bicycle Thieves, Chinatown, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, all the classics became part of her daydream scenarios, making her company over the years out in the wild.

When Jackson got electricity again, the first thing she did was to get her hands on movie copies. She learned by doing how to get a screen put on, how to work with movie rolls from an old cinema archive, and more. Gaining access to different titles through patrols, she made quite a collection over time and organized movie nights for the town at the mess hall.

Unfortunately for you, this movie night would be all about thrillers. Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen and The Shining were carefully selected to make a certain 14 year old girl jump from her seat in wonder, not a 32 year old doll happy.

"Tell me you are joking. I hate scary movies, no way! How is this supposed to help your campaign if people are screaming?" You frowned with puppy eyes at your friend, this was another nightmare after the termites.

“Half the city will be there, even the cowboy and his sidekick of a girl. I wish I could make a movie night with cult movies like Oldboy, but this isn't about me, so deal with it. Aaaaand you can sleep at my house later if you get too scared. Just promise me that you’ll be there.”

Nath smiled in a tentative to make you fall for her request. Taking another look at her t-shirt, you knew that you were fucked, she wouldn’t leave you alone, so you nodded to her.

“Perfect! You’re a doll!” She jumped with joy, almost colliding with a book pile behind her. Something clicked inside her mind as she gave a more intense look at the library state. “Remind me again, how you both went from one lunch to him doing all of this? It has been what, a week?”

It had been nine days to be precise. When he showed up at the library's main room, his dark eyes were so immersed in yours that made you forget about him running away the day before, when he fought with Ellie. It was already in the past, the only thing you wanted was to keep watching those eyes.

“What kind of sandwich?” You asked smiling a little. The lines between his brows got softer and his shoulders relaxed, a weight lifted from his back.

“I asked Nath to make me your favorite: tomato, cheese and herbs?” Your smile got bigger, he was trying to remember your order. The image of him going to the Bison, asking Nath to make your favorite, learning your order by heart, and, finally, coming to see you was a sweet vision. He was trying for you.

“That’s nice. Thank you. We can eat in the back.” Jerking your head to the door, Joel followed your lead.

You cleaned up space on the work table, just like you opened a place in your heart for him. Joel sat in front of you, chewing his mouth corners almost as if he was trying to find a way to start talking. Remembering Ellie's tone from yesterday, you took pity and chose carefully your words.

"Mustn't be easy parenting a teenage girl, you seem to be doing a good job at it." His eyes gleamed at the sudden compliment, surprised by how you began the conversation. You took a bite as he still processed your words, a second in silence while thinking still.

“I try to,” he finally spoke. “Yesterday was rough on you, shouldn’t have used your library to solve our business. I’m sorry if we worried you. It was imprudent to involve you in this.”

Every word was placed to sound his intention clear in the hope you would understand his side. Joel's eyes scanned your face waiting for a response. You took your time biting more of the sandwich, observing his impatience in the way his mouth tensed. Ellie, even though not related by blood, did the same when under pressure.

“I’m fine, took me a little by surprise seeing you and her like that. All good now?” The calm in your voice denounced how serious you were. He was so sad by the library’s door when she left yesterday that you could almost carry his weight with him.

"Somethin’ like that, we spoke last night. I gave ‘er time to come to me as you suggested, didn't pressure her." His eyes glued to the table in front, Joel lowered his guard for the first time since the candle's night. You could feel his body giving in as he continued. "She once had too much freedom, it'll take a while to get used to Jackson's pace. I might’ve forced her to believe she was ready for it, too much of my expectation on her back instead of listenin’ to what she wanted. It was stupid."

“Don’t put yourself down like that. You got it wrong trying to make it right. What about now?” Your hand was at his forearm near his watch gripping it lightly, an unconscious move to comfort him.

Joel looked down at your hand, once more deep in thought, but this time you felt his mind was racing not about Ellie. Sucking your lower lip, you waited for his response.

“She needs some space. There's a suite behind the main house, kinda like a guest house. We decided that it'll be her place, more private and still close enough to keep an eye on her. Ellie’s a smart kid, just needs a direction to run on her feet. I'll renovate a little for her, help in the adaptation process."

"What about the school situation?" You still felt guilty for not being able to put together that she was skipping school. Joel had trusted you in a silly pinky promise.

“Solved. She'll be there every day: I'll walk her to it during mornin’, Nath will walk her when the day is done." Joel stated to your confusion. Why Nath? "Ellie asked her and she agreed to it. Don't ask me anythin’ about it. We had to negotiate a little before allowing her to have her own space at the guest house."

“Damn, 14 year old and living by herself. Guess they grow too fast, huh?" Joel smiled at you, looking once more at your hand at his arm.

“Not too fast. I still have the final word and she won’t be coming to the library for a while.” Your hand became rigid, so he added quickly. “She would kill me if I took her main hobby from her. I’ll bring and take the books, guess you’ll see my ugly face around.”

You knew he was joking, his smirk was enough proof, but his self-depreciation made your blood burn.

"Thank you, I was in need of something pretty to make this place better. Your face will be perfect for it." Winking at him, you removed your hand from his arm and resumed eating the rest of your sandwich as Joel snorted, not believing what you just said.

All the initial worry in his body from meeting you faded as the lunch went by. When Joel left, you closed the library as fast as you could and ran to Nath’s house. She chuckled at your big smile and irregular breath, “my favorite sandwich, huh? I need to know more!” you said by the front door.

Holding two mugs of strawberry tea, Nath and you sat on her sofa for a gossip session. Sipping on tea, Nath grinned to start her tell, already with her hands moving as she spoke.

"I was on the back, making a new batch of beer with Seth when he came. Hands on his pockets, messy hair, rough night and all – you know the drill. I knew about the fight 'cause Ellie told me after she ran from the library. Took her to smash some shit out of the city, take steam from her. Anyway, wasn't expecting for him to come to the Bison the next morning.

“First he thanked me for helping her, Ellie opened her big mouth to him about our convos." Nath didn't have to add that the girl hadn't told him about the scheme, it was implicit otherwise Joel would have taken a different route in his approach at the bar. "They made a deal that she needs to stay at school the whole day, she said it would be okay as long I was the one chaperoning her after. I said yes because, well, I want the kid to feel good in this place.

"When I thought the conversation had died, the cowboy took his gun and aimed at my doll. He asked me if you had the habit of eating lunch, and if so, if I could make him your favorite order. He aimed high and I bet on it, put the creamy cheese you're crazy about and delivered in his hands. Before he left I told him that you like to eat at the back house if the company is good, so I gave him another one for himself and that's how the cowboy went out of my saloon to meet you."

“Hold on, you were the one who suggested a lunch for us?” Remembering the meeting, you noticed that Joel intended first to only say sorry and leave, but with Nath giving him some hope he changed his mind.

"Sometimes you need to rely on fate to achieve something. Other times fate is just a blonde with a nice ass on these jeans." She raised her mug in praise for herself.

"You know exactly how we went from one lunch to this, whatever this is. It was your idea." You replied to Nath, who was still examining the state of the library in shock.

"Nope, I gave you one lunch, whatever happened after it is on you, Doll." Deep in thought, you almost missed Nath leave, just hearing from afar a muffled sound about the movie night.

Going back to her words, you pondered if maybe she was right. After all, you actively found reasons for making Joel stay longer every library visit.

The next day after lunch, he came just to deliver the books and get new ones, but you made him help you choose the titles which led to him staying another full hour. The other one you hinted that you were hungry just to see if he would come back and eat with you until it became a habit. He would cross your door mostly at lunchtime, always with something for two in his hands. The room became more alive whenever he was there, the sound of your voices filling the air in a continuous conversation that made you lose track of time.

He would follow you around the library, sometimes just listening to whatever you were telling him, in another making an input here and there. For nine days in a row, he went to the library, including a Sunday when it was closed. "I forgot that you were off Sundays, day went slow without you", he confessed the next day as if it was obvious. You were attached to the hip like two little kids that speak once on the first day of school to never get apart for the rest of the year.

You believed he needed a friend, someone for himself outside family. You wanted to be this person for him, even if deep down you sensed that it wouldn't be enough. However, at this time and place, there wasn't a spot for you if it wasn't next to him.

---

As he walked further from the library, Joel cursed his body for betraying him. He wanted to feel strong, to have you imagining his arms around you just like he did whenever he was alone. Strong, manly, able, all just for you, but time is tricky when it comes to the human body. His back started to hurt badly as he kept walking with that entire book's weight remembering him his age.

Accepting his limits, he lowered the book pile to the ground just to burn it. Nath had entered the library as he left, were you talking about him? Or, maybe, you were talking about how over this week he was just like a dog chewing a bone nonstop by not leaving you alone? Not that he minded too much you thinking about him as he thought of you, the reciprocity wasn't a main factor in his silent crush. The last thing he wanted was to push you towards him, a much older man that you barely knew. Your beauty was fresh, still starting life, while his was decaying at rapid speed with the lines all over his face.

However, he liked to pretend that your sweet way and little touches had intention behind the gesture. You were so touchy, he would never initiate but thank God you were always finding ways to get closer. This was the main reason he liked to follow you around when talking, in your distracted state of mind you would touch him at some point in your story. He could feel your body heat too, you wouldn't jump or run whenever he was close, and once or twice he caught you leaning in his direction.

Sunday has been the absolute worst. He spent the way between his house and the library remembering a joke Ellie had told him, saving in his mind to say to you when he arrived. In his hands mac n cheese he was ready to pretend it was from last night's dinner, not freshly made for you. He saw the "closed" sign at the door and then heard a bicycle horn at the end of the street, just to watch you and Nath's backs getting smaller as the seconds passed by. Your hair blowing in the wind, bootcut shorts going up as you pedaled fast far from him.

Walking back home with his head down, the blue sky seemed less saturated than before, the joke became unfunny. He ate alone (Ellie was at Cat's house) fuming at his ingenuity: why would you be there, picture perfect, for him on a Sunday? His logic made no sense, except that he got used too fast to your presence.

The image of the way those bootcut shorts hugged your thighs and backside slid into his mind. It wasn't unusual, he had been thinking of you wearing shorts since that night when the lights went out. He kissed your cheek, inhaled your scent and lost it when your hand squeezed his shoulder. That morning he woke up hard after dreaming of taking you in his kitchen, to unzip the shorts with his hands savoring every inch of your skin.

Today wasn’t different. He felt himself getting hard as he imagined you sucking your bottom lip before devouring his mouth, push yourself on his lap and allow him to grab your hips closer to his. He palmed his cock, putting pressure as the scene enrolled in his mind.

Your eyes locked with his while grinding your little shorts on his clothed cock, moaning a little with the friction. His spread hands running from your thighs to your ass, squeezing as he felt your tender skin. He was so deep in this wet daydream that he could taste you.

As he freed your legs from the shorts inside his mind, he also freed his cock and started to play with it in a slow rhythm. You were smiling sweetly as you finished undressing, just to grab him by the neck and lay down on your back, getting him on top of you. Making a trail of kisses, he sucked your nipple gaining a jerk from your hips at him. Your hands tugging on his hair, the soft whines from your mouth. Joel increased the rhythm on himself so lost on your reactions, his cock leaking from pleasure.

You spread your legs and launched your mouth at his, tongue enveloping his with need. His hands in your opening, toying with it a little before pushing one finger. You were so wet, soaking his hand.

“More, faster, please,” you plead and he obliged, increasing speed on his cock, mouth opened and eyes shut focusing only on you from his mind. Another finger dipped on you, scissoring your entrance.

You were making the sweetest sounds, kissing him roughly through your high. He could feel you getting close, your nails digging into his skin.

“I need you, Joel. Just you, no one else.” You murmured directly on his lips, almost there already. He was at the edge, quick breathing, just seconds always…

“Joel, I’m home!” Ellie’s voice echoed across the house, making Joel leave his dream.

"Goddammit," he professed angrily at himself. The head of his cock leaking, red still, but the edge was no longer there. It was humiliating, he was salivating for you like a creep while you were out there not even remembering his existence. As he cleaned himself and got back to the real world, Joel swore to no longer chase you, to stay out of your life.

Coming back to the library on Monday to deliver the books and get new ones, you were reading when he entered. Seeing him, you smiled broadly to his confusion. You asked him to wait a second and left for the back house.

"It might be stupid, but close your eyes." You asked and he did at the cue, there wasn't much he wouldn't do for you. Your fingers put both of his hands together and then deposited something small at his palms. "You may open now."

A small blue butterfly pressed on a moonstone, a pendant on an old necklace. He had told you at some point that butterflies reminded him of someone important, it was a small comment in a conversation about killing bugs or not. Butterflies were Sarah’s favorite.

“Went on a hike yesterday, found it near the river. Thought maybe you would like to have it.” You had thought about him just like he spent his Sunday thinking of you. Closing his hand around the pendant, he spoke before thinking.

“I forgot that you were off Sundays, day went slow without you.” You chuckled and he smiled, unable to ignore how much he missed that sweet sound.

---

“Oh lovely, Ellie! You have a good eye for it!” Chad exclaimed and patted Ellie’s shoulder. For something she didn’t want to do, she was pretty good.

Two days a week she would have to help the local gardeners, it was both her punishment from her teacher for lying (“I can’t stay the full day because Maria asked me to take slow, man. I just follow her orders” Ellie had said right after meeting the woman) and for crossing Maria's space. The second one proved to be way worse.

Joel explained to her that they needed to meet Maria at her house to say their apologies, mostly to avoid her wrath. Ellie knew she had gone too far, one thing was to say sorry to Joel, her… Whatever he was for her, he was important. When they spoke, late that night, she could see in his eyes the weight of her words. She felt guilty comparing herself to Sarah, knowing how much he was still hurt by the lack of her presence 20 years later.

This is what Ellie understood, Joel wasn't mourning her death, but the lack of his daughter in his life. When he made their lives "normal" after so many months on the road he wasn't doing it for Ellie, but for what he had with Sarah. It was bad to say she was jealous of a dead girl, but she was: she wanted the Joel that protected her no matter what, the grumpy man, not the suburban dad. And yet, she asked his forgiveness when she got back home without a trace of pride from her side.

This is why it was completely different to say sorry to Maria. She didn't want to say sorry to a woman who was the nemesis of her best friend. Not that she understood Nath and Maris's fight, but it felt like betraying to not pick Nath’s side.

“We want you safe, no more than that. I spoke with Chad, he is in need of someone to help for a while. You'll be there for this season right after school. We live in a commune, everyone helps." Maria explained and Ellie used every single one of her facial muscles to not roll her eyes back at the woman.

Maria failed to explain that Chad was awesome. 6'5" may appear menacing, but not when you have a calm voice and delicate manners. He was a fucking ray of light. Putting Ellie to check for plagues on leaves, Chad hit the lottery by how fast she could find it.

It was her second day in the garden, but she was already a pro. Chad taught her the whole ritual: find the leave, analyze it, and based on the color you cut it out or spray something on it. His big rosy cheeks were showing their dimples as he grinned at Ellie's work.

"I think you have a visit." He announced looking to the garden entrance. Cat was walking in their direction, her hazel eyes glistening as she sneezed. “Pollen?”

"Yeah, I have a small allergy to it. It's okay if I take your pupil with me? We're being requested at the mess hall." Sneezing once more, Cat fixed her bangs and moved her eyes to Ellie, whose cheeks got heated.

“Only if Nath gives me popcorn before everyone else. I’m joking, go go!” Chad replied lightly and then started to hum a song to his vegetables.

Cat spent the walk to the mess hall laughing at how you and Joel got the library upside down and just now were able to put everything back together, except for some books that were still waiting on their new shelf. Her storytelling had details, but Ellie was too busy watching speckles of green in Cat's eyes.

She had a hard time ignoring Cat's physical traits now that she was her first model to draw. The shape of her eyes, how her bangs framed her face, her button nose… Everything was burned inside her head. Ellie started to notice little details here and there, remembering how once she was also this close with Riley. And shit, that didn't end well.

The mess hall was different. No more cantina tablecloth, just rows of wooden chairs facing the same direction. The windows were closed with a dark fabric so no natural light could get in. Nath was at the center of the room shouting at Seth, who was adjusting a homemade screen from white sheets.

“Go up and right! Not that much, wait… Damn it, now up and left! That’s it, c’est fini!” Nath made a chef kiss motion with her hand, admiring how everything was getting together. Cat greeted her, making Nath turn around to see them. “Look who got here, Trouble and Consequence. Ready to work?”

“Who’s Trouble and who’s Consequence?” Ellie asked confused.

"At this point is self-explanatory, kid." Nath raised her eyebrows. Moving to a table nearby, Nath showed them the DVDs for the night. Cat widened her eyes looking at the titles. "I couldn't wait 'til Halloween, but at least is a full moon night. Cat knows how to use the DVD machine, you'll put the movies in order on the projector. All good?”

“We got you. How much time do we have?” Cat asked taking the reins of the situation. Ellie was reading the DVD back covers trying to snoop something from the movies.

"Around an hour before everyone shows up. We start at 6 p.m. sharp with Rosemary’s Baby, at 8:30 p.m. we move to The Omen and make the final switch at 10:30 p.m. to The Shining. I saved the best for last, so make sure you’re still awake. I’ll be back soon, gotta get all the popcorn peeps going on, but I trust you and Trouble with it, Cat.”

“Wait, am I Trouble?” Ellie shouted as Nath left with Seth. The mess hall felt so big with just the two girls there. Shaking this feeling away, Cat got Ellie’s hand and moved to the projector.

It was an easy task, to measure the projected image with the screen so everyone could see it from all the rows. Cat made the adjustments as Ellie sat from row to row checking the quality of the image. Once they were done, it was time to put a light behind the screen.

"Why we are doing this? I thought the projector's light would be enough." Ellie asked as Cat got the light bulb turned on a little far from the back of the screen, right in the middle. They were sat between the light and the screen, the yellow light being the only source of illumination in the whole space.

Cat's eyes shined a little more in an ocher color, the green less saturated. Ellie held her breath when the girl sat in front of her, on the ground, their knees touching.

“It’s for the mood. Nath takes these nights seriously, plus this light helps everyone find their seats before the movie starts. I like it, don’t you?” Half of her face was illuminated while the other half was in the shadows.

"I like it a lot," Ellie whispered, not sure if she was talking about the light or Cat. The natural pink shade of Cat's lips became reddish, Ellie stared at it for a second wondering if they were really as soft as they seemed. When she found Cat's eyes, they were swimming in something she couldn't place it.

The room was silent, but so alive with them holding each other stares. The heat of their knees touching became a flame dissipating over Ellie's whole body. Seconds felt like minutes until Cat moved her hand from her lap to put a stray of Ellie's hair out of her face. Her fingertips gently tapped over the cheekbone, just to cradle the girl's cheek in her palm and bring closer to her face. A final look on her eyes before looking at her lips, Cat closed the gap between them and placed her lips on top of Ellie's.

It was no more than a peck at first, but Ellie could feel it everywhere. Not realizing she closed her eyes, she opened when Cat got back a little to watch her reaction. Making sure she understood, Ellie kissed Cat back with the same delicate pressure.

On the other side of the screen, when Nath came back, she could only see two silhouettes kissing slowly. Smiling to herself, she left the mess hall without a word, giving a little more time to a young love blossom at the end of spring.

---

It was a chilly night, the breeze hitting on your face as you walked to the mess hall. You knew it would make a fool of yourself watching those movies, so you took your time to get there a little later and stay put behind everyone. Your jacket had pockets, to fidget your hands away from curious eyes. All planned to not become laughing material, as you feared.

Getting there, the hall was darker than expected with the only light source being the illuminated screen. You look around the back rows searching for a place away, but a hand waved in your direction. Alfie was seated somewhere at the front, in the third row, with an empty spot next to him. His smile was big, pearly whites shining at you even in the low light. Amazing, three horror movies and his company were exactly what you were avoiding, but luckily Edwin mistook the wave and sat there before you. Alfie's smile faded and you shrugged at him in a tentative of saying "better luck next time".

You kept walking searching for a place, until Nath put her hand on your elbow guiding you somewhere.

“Your cowboy came here early and got a spot for you at the back. He’ll say it was for Ellie, but we both know it is for you.” She pointed somewhere and you forced your eyes to get the image right. Joel had his arms crossed, chewing his mouth corners impatiently.

You took a breath and made your way to him, watching as someone tried to sit and he politely explained that the seat was taken. He saw you and pointed to the chair next to him, making sure you would be there.

"I saved it for Ellie, but she is working, then I saw that most of the city is here and decided to save it for you." He cleared his throat right after speaking, almost as if he wanted to play cool for you.

"Thank you, I was about to sit at the back anyway." He nodded, arms still crossed. There wasn't much space between the chairs, making the sides of your bodies touch.

After everyone sat down, the lights went out and Nath appeared at the front holding a lantern under her chin, her eyes wide in a tentative of a scary face. Some people laughed and she grinned.

“Good night, Jackson. Welcome to another movie night! This night is all about horror. I hope you bring some holy water, you may need it.” The screen got once again illuminated, you held back a laugh now that you were able to see her t-shirt. “333 I’m only half evil” was across her black t-shirt because of course she had something for all occasions.

“Three classics for tonight: Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen and The Shining, in this exact order. We'll have ten minutes of break between the movies, so make sure you use it right. Popcorn is on the balcony over there, if you need more ask Seth and his lazy ass will provide for you. That's all, let the haunting begin!"

Nath finished her speech and the lights went out again, making space for the real event of the night. The first movie wouldn’t be too difficult, you were familiar with the book and knew that jumpscares weren’t big on it.

As Mia Farrow appeared on the screen, you felt Joel relax by your side. You were more inclined to watch him than the movies, feeling his eyes on you. Taking it from your mind, you tried to be over-alert and preview what was about to happen.

It was smooth so far, closing your eyes or turning your face down if you didn’t want to see what was on screen. All good until the phone booth scene, when the man outside the glass door is replaced quickly by another. You held your breath and squirmed in your seat taking Joel's attention.

"Not a horror movie fan?" He whispered to you, that nodded a little in response.

Forcing yourself to watch until the end, you exhaled hard once the movie was done. Passing both hands on your face, you pushed your back at the chair rest and saw Joel coming back, with two popcorn bags in his hands.

“It might be a good distraction, considering the next movie.” The gesture was small, but made your heart race. He got you popcorn because he was indeed watching you. You accepted the bag frowning a little in discomfort.

Ellie came by for a second, chatting with him about how awesome the movie was and letting him know she wanted the book by Monday. You eavesdrop, listening closely to his tone around her, full of love for the girl. When she left to put on the next movie, you took a good look at his face and saw how peaceful he was, far from the man hurt that afternoon at the library.

The Omen started, you moved your head and shoulders trying to brace yourself for what was to come. The gleeful tone of the kids running at the party was already telling something was wrong. As the nanny walked further from Damian with a plate in her hand, the camera made a close-up of her face. You sunk into your chair, the sinister music as the screen went from the nanny's eyes to the dog, getting closer and closer. Your fingers increasing their grip on the popcorn bag, your throat swallowing dry. The music increased speed just to cut it for the kids’ happy scream again, but it was too late, the sudden change already made you scream.

Popcorn flew across your lap at the jump scare. It was childish, you knew, but couldn’t help. A big hand was placed on your shoulder, pulling you a little closer. Your eyes, shut in fear from the previous scene, started to open slowly just to find that you had sought shelter in Joel’s arms.

Looking up, you could see he had a smirk on his face as if he thought your despair was funny. You couldn’t help but smile back, even if your cheeks were red.

“Shut up,” he chuckled at your tentative of being tough. Of course, he didn’t believe in you after seeing how scared you were.

“I’m not saying anything.” He whispered in your ear, softly and gained a playful glare from you.

When you sat back on your chair, he kept his hand on your shoulder, making small patterns with his fingertips to soothe your fear way. You relaxed into his embrace, resting your head on his arm behind your neck. A few rows away, you noticed someone prying on you. When green eyes glued back to the screen, the fear in your body gave in to disappointment.

Was Alfie mad at you? Could he see you and Joel from his seat? You wished you could care for it, but your mind was busy enjoying the proximity of Joel. Making a conscious decision, you accepted the idea of being considered selfish if it meant that Joel would keep his arm around you.

The rest of the night passed in the blink of an eye. You decided to leave before The Shining starts, already tired from moving books all day and somewhat emotionally drenched from the movie session. To your surprise, when you started to walk towards the door, Joel tugged your hand from behind.

“Let me make you company.” He stated as you both went out to the street, still holding hands.

His fingers intertwined with yours, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. He held your hand all the way, until your house, with the full moon high in the sky as the light shined on you both.

---

Alfie stared at his reflection in the mirror comparing himself with Joel. Both were tall and stronger, himself thinner. His beard wasn't patchy, it was fuller than most. Joel had wavy light brown hair with some grey strikes, while his was pitch black and thick. The eyes were also different, his green were light while Joel's were dark. Perhaps this is what you liked, Alfie’s eyes were constantly transparent on his intention, but Joel’s forced you to stare to find out what he wanted.

When he saw Joel holding your hand as you left the mess hall, he understood everything: Joel wanted you and you wanted Joel.

He felt stupid for taking so high of a man, to have invited him to his house just so he could blow out like this at his face. Joel knew his whole story.

At the barbeque, weeks ago, he was quiet and Alfie insisted on having a chat.

“You lived in a QZ too, huh? How do you take Jackson in comparison?” He tried to push the man who so far had answered everything with no more than three words. They were by the grill, Cata shouted that she would take Ellie upstairs.

"I like having hot water and a roof that's far from FEDRA." Joel limited answering, but Alfie wasn't done.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Me and Catarina came from Denver QZ five years ago. We never actually lived in one because FEDRA wouldn't allow us." Joel furrowed his brows as if trying to understand how it was possible. "You must have noticed my accent. Alfie is an American nickname, my name is Alfonso. I'm from Mexico, same as my wife. When the outbreak happened we were illegal, didn't have documents, and without documents couldn't join a QZ.

"We tried to create a plan to go back to Jalisco, but it was suicide. I never knew what happened to my parents, if there was anything there waiting for us. Anyway, if we stepped inside a QZ FEDRA would execute us and we couldn't risk it. We stayed low for as much as we could, on the road, until my wife got pregnant and it became too dangerous.

“A while after Catarina was born, we decided to try our luck. It was in vain for us, except my wife. She got fake documents for herself doing I don't know what, but I'm sure it wasn't something good or she would have told me. FEDRA said she got a QZ spot when we were together there, by the gate, she left almost running from us. It didn’t matter that our daughter was crying for her, Cata was less than six months. I waited every day by the QZ gate for more than a year, hoping that one day she would come searching for us.

"I took my daughter and spent five years on the road until we found Jackson. I'm grateful for this place." Alfie finished with a smile, taking another look at the rabbit meat on the grill.

"I'm glad Jackson accepted you both. You deserve peace and a place to raise your kid." Joel answered as he chewed his mouth corners.

"I know a little about your life before the outbreak, Tommy told me once. From everyone in this town, you're the one who understands me. I see your struggle and have compassion for you." Alfie added still smiling, putting the meat on a plate before shouting for his daughter to eat.

Looking at his mirror reflection, Alfie pondered if he saw more than it was on Joel's background. He thought they were similar, almost the same career choice even, but now it was blurry when he saw someone similar and you still preferred the other man.

Passing by his image in the mirror, Alfie started to get ready for the council meeting when someone knocked at the front door. Going down the stairs, he tried to shut down the wish of being you. As he opened the door, he saw Maria.

"I saw everything at the movie night. Want the doll for you? I can help." She said walking inside the house, not giving him time to think.

Alfie remembered how you were so relaxed in Joel's embrace, how his dark brown eyes were at peace with you there, and decided he would listen closely to Maria's proposal.

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sushisocks · 6 months

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so this is like two asks ig? but what is ur most unique sean headcanon, and what is ur sean headcanon that you will defend with your life (i really love ur headcanons lol)

OOOHHHHH ANON!!!!!! we're in it now lmfaoo THANK YOU first of all I'm honestly so glad people enjoy my headcanons/rants about these characters!! RDR2 is my first time really foray-ing into fandom space like this (previously having kept my writing & thoughts to closed circles of friends lol), and the reception here has overall been a lot more than I ever expected!! Especially since I've really picked my faves <;- said while sideeyeing the 28 works in the macsummers tag on AO3.

ANYWAY these are some insanely good questions, anon, and I've been thinking about them ALL DAY, so I'll do my very best to answer you here in a way which does these questions justice.

It's hard for me to know which one of my Sean HCs is the most unique, as I have a LOT of HCs, and I've been posting a LOT of them over the course of the past few months. I've been told (as a compliment!!) that my overall take on him & the connections I make regarding him is unique, which I obviously am very flattered by! But I also don't think it's too hard to be unique when you're thinking & talking about a character who generally isn't given the same amount of genuine consideration and meta as other characters from the same franchise. Like, I could be talking at length about Arthur, or Charles, or John (and I HAVE!!! Not on tumblr, but still, I love those characters too!!) but my takes would probably not generate the same kind of attention by virtue of those characters being talked about a lot by a lot of other people too!! My posts about Sean stick out because there's not a whole lot of other people writing posts about Sean in the meta/HC style I do!

(Sidenote, while I don't fault the RDR2 fandom for not giving Sean his dues - he is a side character who dies very early on, and who is easy to stereotype, after all - I AM very glad and grateful that the stuff I've said & shared seems to have impacted some people's understandings of him, at least in the circles I run in. As of late I've been seeing a lot more thoughtful takes on him, reflecting how he has the capability of being just as nuanced as several of the other characters in the game. Maybe that's because I'm right in the middle of it though; most RDR2 circles I'm in KNOW me as the Sean stan, and engage with my takes on him, after all!!)

So like, is my most unique Sean headcanon among the ones that reflect canon & actually took off, impacting some people's view of him - like how he DOES mirror a younger Arthur, and how he fulfills a role in the gang, and how his death is necessary to set the tone for the rest of the game? Or is my most unique headcanon him being a gnc bi poly king in the messiest possible queerplatonic triad with Karen and Lenny? Is it that I think he prefers licorice to chocolate? That I think his favorite color is burgundy(not that he'd call it that)? I don't know! I both have so many HCs that picking one is extremely hard for my Libra-ass-self, and I don't have many others writing similar stuff to compare myself with, at all! I'd love to hear from others, though, if anyone else who's been reading my Sean posts have any takes regarding what of my stuff has stuck with them!!!

OKAY sorry for the rant mkjhbjj It's probably not what you were looking for asking me that but it's something that's on my mind, given that I think a fair amount of the uptick in my following over the past few months, if not from AO3, is very much from my RDR2 meta posts - which are in majority about Sean.

ANYYYWAYYY as for a Sean HC I will defend with my life - DEFINITELY the Sean learning disabilities ones - he is INCREDIBLY ADHD & dyslexia coded to me, it MASSIVELY influences how I write him in my fics, and I don't think anyone will ever argue me away from that one. Also, Sean siding with Arthur & John in the end, IS a hill I will die on - to the point that I've written several posts about/referring to it mjnhbnjbh Honestly though, I am a petty bitch who will die on most hills available to me, and I'm not afraid of confrontation, so I am a little bit of a menace when it comes to my Sean HCs and defending them lolol I'm overall very pleased they've gone over well with the rest of the Sean stan community here on tumblr though!! Yall are the best fr <3<3<3

#i went on a tangental RAAANNNTTT here im sorry #ive just. been having this on my mind and tumblr is where i go for talking abt things on my mind lolol #i hope it doesn't seem like im bragging OR complaining btw!! i greatly appreciate everyone who contributes to sean's tag!!!#but i don't think it's unfair to say there's not a whole lot of people writing several thousand words of sean meta like i do lol #and the word unique has been in my like. in my WORLD if you will. a LOT lately so it just unlocked something in my brain #that i needed to write out here. nothing against u anon i loved these questions and i did genuinely think on them all day while at work #which is why this got so long </3 #teki talks #rdr thoughts #sean macguire #rdr2 #rdr2 sean #red dead redemption 2 #asks #meta asks #rdr asks

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elodieunderglass · 1 year

Text

I posted 2,670 times in 2022

74 posts created (3%)

2,596 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@elodieunderglass

@bionelly2

@angeloftheeasterngate

@mugwomps

I tagged 150 of my posts in 2022

#horrible things with legs - 7 posts

#the leucism channel - 7 posts

#youtube - 5 posts

#the massive continuity of ducks - 4 posts

#plantcraft - 2 posts

#i have seen about 3 pieces of star trek - 1 post

#and the disney films with gopher are about a child who emigrated to canada i think - 1 post

#some kind of elizabeth battle - 1 post

#i am quothed! - 1 post

#it’s always a pleasure catching news segments with him talking because they are captioned arthur pendragon - 1 post

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#s̷̡̰͎̘̙̹͉̻��̍/̵̲̩͍͖͚̝͍̮̭͙̪͉̓̏̀h̸̢̯͉̯͖̲͓̱̱̯̮͉̟̟̭̉̍̈́͐̈́͂̊͛͗͝͝e̵̗̽̋̂͗̆̀̆̓̋͋̊̚/̶̖͕̜͎͒̆͛͑́̀̀̚̚ͅt̵̨̢̝̞̤͓͉͍̘̩̝͎̦̆̚h̵̛̼̰͙͆͊͌̀̇̆͑̈́͂͒͒͑(̴̋̔̋͘

My Top Posts in 2022:

I’ve ritually drowned this ask so nobody needs to feel guilty about it.

Remember guys, if they don’t even follow you, there is no cat.

4,372 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

I’m totally normal about Bluey, a totally normal amount of investment in a show for under-sixes

4,456 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

A friend just showed me one of their favourite academic titles are you ready (you’re not ready)

4,991 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

Hey, today I learned that my catalogued lack of dating experience is cited in an academic paper

22,480 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I grow our own vegetables. Many hybrid and heirloom varieties are bred for flavor rather than for commercial appeal and travel. There are entire species on the allotment that you can’t easily buy in stores because of this - like salsify, a root vegetable that tastes of fish and shellfish. Our neighbours happily take it to make vegan latkes of alarming similarity to fishcakes. You cannot sell it in stores because - despite looking like a white parsnip - it turns brown when you pick it & if you scrape/bruise/cut the white root in any way, or damage the delicate little hairs, for some reason, it BLEEDS RED and is very upsetting to look at.

There are whole classes of foods like this. Foods that just don’t ship well or look good on supermarket shelves. Forbidden fruits. Vegetables that bleed and taste like meat. Sorry about this

63,134 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

the Zalgo/corrupted tag with 129 characters amused me!

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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eldritch-thrumming · 1 year

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ao3 first lines

rules: post the first lines of your 10 most recently published AO3 stories. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

I was not tagged in this at all but everyone is doing it and I’m having intense FOMO so now I’m doing it too.

i can’t let go when something’s broken (it’s all i know and it’s all i want now) (T, WIP, 4/5)

Steve Harrington wakes up like he does every day, alone in his big bed with fluffy white sheets, weak sunlight streaming through the blinds on his windows.

it’s christmas (this is gonna be a nightmare) (T, Complete, 1/1)

Steve hears keys jingling in the lock at the front door. He’s sitting in the living room, staring at the blank screen of his laptop.

it had to be you. (M, WIP, 3/7)

“Steve, don’t be like that,” Dustin says, sighing. “Just… be cool, okay? He’s a cool dude.”

oh my, love is a lie (shit my friends say to get me by) (M, WIP, 1/4)

Steve’s not sure how he allowed himself to be talked into throwing a party for a bunch of stray undergrads, but that’s exactly what’s happened.

when i don’t touch you it’s a mistake in any life, in each place and forever. (M, Complete, 12/12)

Eddie feels pain. Burning, slicing pain. His hands are sticky, wet. He tries to lift his arm, but can’t. His limbs are made of cement, buried in sand.

i make up things that i would never say (i say them very quietly) (M, Complete, 1/1)

“So what do you think?” Eddie lifts his gaze from his guitar to look at where Steve is lounging across Eddie’s unmade bed. Steve takes a hit from the joint they’re sharing, exhales, then leans forward to place the joint between Eddie’s lips before responding.

sorry about the blood in your mouth (i wish it was mine) (M, Complete, 10/10

Eddie Munson learned, when he was twenty years old, that monsters were real.

i'm such a fool for you (you got me wrapped around your finger) (T, Complete, 1/1)

“So…” Steve starts, then trails off. He’s in the driver’s seat of his car parked outside Family Video, Robin next to him in the passenger’s seat. They’ve just closed the store for the night and Robin’s pulled down the visor to reapply her mascara before Steve drops her off at some band geek party. He clears his throat. “So I think I might have, like, a stupid massive dumb crush.” Robin doesn’t even look over at him. “On Eddie.”

i swear that i'm not thinkin’ ‘bout you all the time (just today, yesterday, everyday, and tomorrow night) (T, Complete, 1/1)

There was infinite darkness and then, suddenly, there was an immense amount of pain.

#ok I did more than the first sentence #technically it says first line so #what I've learned is I'm terrible at first lines lol wow no hook whatsoever #oh well #steddie #steddie fic #steddie fics #tag game #tag game that I was not tagged in lololololol #if u want to do this take this as ur sign and just do it!

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egg-emperor · 1 year

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You're very right in the tags of that one post. Toxic positivity is just as bad as toxic negativity, sometimes worse due to the handling of constructive criticism because of can-do-no-wrong attitude that stifles growth and creativity.

That ever-growing toxicity combined with this weird form of puritanism that has people harassing and dogpiling on others if they dare have an independent thought outside the hivemind is what's forcing me away from the Sonic fandom and never returning again, despite how much I love Eggman. I've already stopped reblogging Sonic art on my main blog and interacting with the fandom at large outside of a close circle of trusted friends across social media, they're the only thing even keeping that dying flame for this series stoked. I'm almost ready to delete it all and revamp my main blog theme to distance myself further. It hurts to know I'm no longer welcome in something that has been a major part of my life since I started gaming, something I've seen grow from literally nothing as I grew.

I still enjoy so many things about this series, and I had so much fun with everything up until this point, but being pushed out and treated like you're worse than trash for disagreeing with one thing feels like a knife being twisted in my heart. I don't want to go, but at this point I feel I have no choice to leave it all behind.

I'm sorry to sound whiny with this all, but I guess I just needed somewhere to vent. Should I consider this my goodbye letter to the Sonic series? Maybe so.

Thanks, Julian. Again, sorry for the vent.

Nah don't apologize, that's exactly how I've been feeling too. There's a big problem with both toxic positivity and negativity in this fandom and I'd say the former has been a much bigger one lately. I wouldn't say any of my criticisms of the latest media I'm not a fan of has been that harsh, aside from the occasional rants where I've been especially worked up and upset.

Most of the time it was just calm criticism that I was being asked to talk about in my inbox, it's not like I was going onto other people's posts and inboxes trying to be negative. But it's just blown up out of proportion because people take offense merely being something they don't want to see, because I see it as anything less than perfect and amazing. And that's where the toxic positivity comes in.

What I do always comes from a place of deep passion and my boldness in expressing true feelings is dismissed as nothing but hatred. Just because again, it's not highly positive endless praise without question or criticism. There's a lot of toxic positivity and also puritanism especially when it comes to my views and creations of Eggman compared to what people would prefer I think and do instead.

I've stepped away from fandom massively too because there isn't much out there that appeals to me anymore. It's a hivemind where you're not allowed to voice different opinions or even state facts as it's immediately taken as an attack. It's full of high praise of everything and intolerance towards people that don't feel the same, they accuse me of being horrible and hateful and trying to attack specific people with things I make on my own blog.

I don't think I'm ever really going to come back either beyond interaction with the small amount of people I still follow that aren't with that crowd and their mindset and either feel the same or accept I feel differently, like I can with them as long as they respect me too. I don't seek out content from anywhere else aside from heavily filtered Tumblr search. I'll never search Eggman on Twitter again for the sake of my sanity lol

While it does help me feel better to not surround myself with things that make me uncomfortable and avoid it as well as I can, it does hurt to leave almost everything behind and not feel welcome amongst the masses just because we can't agree on everything and are open with criticism, no matter how sensible and calm we are about it. I'm going to miss out on the small amount of stuff out there I would like as a result which is sad too.

But then when I'm at my worst after all recent events, I've contemplated deleting everything and leaving because even though there are a few reasons I have to stick around and it's not all bad, it still feels like I don't belong and do everything wrong in some people's eyes and am hated by many and it just makes me miserable with all the constant reminders. It hurts that something that's been so special and important to me almost all my life is now attached to this pain.

It was fun up until this point for me too but now I feel pushed out because of how many places I've been kicked out of and how many I've been blocked by. It really does hurt a lot, how it feels like everything can go wrong just for being yourself and being open and honest about how you feel. It does stifle growth and creativity a lot when different perspectives and ideas are immediately shunned and looked down upon and responded to aggressively.

I don't really want to go either but I've accepted I need to take a step back, as big of a part of my life it was for so long. And I've been considering that I might have to leave official media behind soon as it just feels like there might not be anything for me anymore. Even before shit really hit the fan fandom wise, I started pondering it. Leaving that will hurt even more but I'm trying not to hold on to what hurts or discomforts me and just doesn't bring me the happiness it did before.

If I do have to leave both fandom and official media behind entirely, it will hurt a lot but I still appreciate for the people I still follow, old official content, and sharing my analysis, headcanons, fics, gushing, etc. I'm still passionate as ever about Eggman and love to create from it and share it, that's why I care so much and have such strong opinions and bold ways of expressing it in the first place. It's sad that it had to come to this but I appreciate the good times and memories and I won't let all this stop me from doing what I love.

But yeah you're not alone in this, I feel exactly the same way and I'm saying my goodbye to most of the fandom too and possibly the entire series itself soon with the way things might be going from here.

You're welcome and no need to be sorry 💜

#asks

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azhdakha · 5 months

Note

No moral judgement implied, I'd like to neutrally ask a question about a sort of inconsistency I've noticed in the way you talk about the aggressor in Ukraine-Russia and Palestine-Israel conflicts. When speaking of Russia (which I do not support, and I will denote a clear reason in a few sentences), you use the lower case r, I've seen tags such as "Russia is a terorrist state" and the like and are invested in sharing posts about Ukrainian culture. When talking about Israel, I've noticed no such thing, despite the fact the fact that Israel, as far as war crimes go, is the objectively more terroristic regime than Russia is. In general, I've noticed that people are able to separate Jewish culture from Israel, which I personally am very happy about, but any Russian opposition / resistance seems to be met with mockery or be completely ignored, and any references, at least back in 2022, to Russian culture were considered in poor taste and tone deaf in the "current circumstances." I definitely am no fan of Russia or the sentiments of its people, and while I'm Australian, I can trace roots from either side of my family to indigenous Siberians. However, this to me seems like a slight level of hypocrisy. I've visited Russia before and I have friends living there, and the disparity of the way our Western society seems to treat people who would sit in lawn chairs and watch children be bombed for entertainment, Israelites, and you can even find a video of them doing it, versus a massive amount of people living under an authoritarian regime for arguably 500 or so years, who, correct me if I'm wrong, don't have a lot of sway on the political direction of their country, -- the disparity of that is absurd to me. I'd like to ask your opinion on this, because from what I've gathered you live in Russia, are pro-Ukraine, I think? pro-Palestine, but have a really strange investment in Israel, so it'd be curious to hear if you've ever thought about this. Sorry if this was a bit long-winded aswell, I tried to explain the way I view this as thoroughly as possible.

Okay, ask No. 2

It's alright, I understand.

I'll try to explain. First of all as you noticed, I used to be a zionist for a while. Mostly because I got my info from some of my friends who were also zionists. They had their own reasons mainly because of antisemitism they and their family went through and also - a common phenomenon among russian opposition - they needed a place to go when leaving Russia and Israel is one of the easiest one, because they welcome you there, you don't come as a rightness immigrant and you don't need to survive as a refugee. Does this excuse their zionism? No, obviously not. But that's the reasoning I can provide you. That's also something I was baffled and dissapointed very much about: the overwhelming support of Israel among ru opposition and among Ukrainians. But that's whole another issue.

Later, as I saw everything that happened in Gaza, spent some time communicating to Israelis and Jewish people from the human rights organizations, listened to what Palestinians said, read some history, I was just disappointed overall. I didn't let go of the idea that Jewish people have a right for self determination, I'm still convinced that they do and I hate when people say things like "Why do you even want a country? You are completely fine in the countries you lived in and after WW2 there wasn't really any antisemitism" to Jewish people. That's not true? But at the same time I cannot be okay with the treatment of Palestinians, I cannot be okay with murder, displacement, constant deliberate human rights violations. Like, this is not how you get your self determination? Just because you were oppressed, doesn't mean you are allowed to oppress someone else? And I often feel like I screaming into void when I try to talk to zionists who totally convinced that they are the victims in this situation and all the deaths of Palestinians are "well, it's sad, but what can we do" as long as it's required to eradicate hamas. While at the same time their own leaders and even regular citizens say they aren't after hamas, they want to erase Palestinians from this earth, they still believe in the fairytale that this is about hamas and they're the main victim here, as if they live in a parallel reality. I guess, I saw too many dead and disfigured bodies of kids, you know, when you see a parent holding torn parts of body that used to be theis child, it's hard to stay unbothered. Can you imagine that youre holding a piece of you parent, sibling's or child's body? How can someone's determination be at this cost? What kind of safe refuge it is if you need a mamad, an iron dome and live in constant war with your neighbors. Something defintely went wrong here. Thats what made me change my mind.

Now, coming back to your question. I am not insisting on the separation of Israeli citizens from Israeli government in the way that they're good fine people who are against the actions of their government. I am insisting on separating Israel from Jewish people and Judaism. I don't think I need to explain that, do I? Where I do insist on separating civillians from military and government is when it comes to violence and murder. Comparing to Russia there haven't been any case of mass attacks and murder of russian civillians by Ukrainian army or insurgents. Wether you like it or not, hamas did kill civillians. Just because idf did that too, doesn't mean that hamas didn't kill anyone or that it was majorly idf, unlike what too many prefer to think. Recently there was an info piece about a number of idf soldiers in Gaza killed by their own. I cannot remember exactly if that was 20 people out of 150, or 20%, but I assume the ratio of civllians that died at the hands of idf on October 7th and at the hands of hamas is about the same. So, if Ukrainians or anyone else start mass murdering random russian civillians, I'm not going to support that either. I don't know for how long have you been following me if you did, or how deep did you scroll through my blog, but I write several times that I don't understand and cannot support those who claim that all russians are guilty equally(guilty, not responsible), or that every russian citizen met abroad should be ostracized, bullied have less rights just because they're from russia, regardless of their position. I remember how I saw a post about a russian primary school kid being bullied in school for their nationality and the comments where "We should bully them until they hang themselves". Like what the fuck is that? Ofcourse I'm not okay with that and I don't support that. People are not guilty for being born in this shithole.

At the same time yes, I'm being more harsh towards russian people than towards anyone simply because that's my responsibility as a russian to criticise my country and my people. As a citizen I'm directly responsible on my part for what my country is doing. I am living here, I face alm the consequences and I deal with all the pro-putinists. I also deal with russian colonialism and other oppressive policies not only as a russian, but as an Indigenous person. You don't imagine how exhausted I am from this country and it's people. You mentioned Israelis brining couches to watch shelling of Gaza and cheer for the death of Palestinians. Have you seen how was that used? "They deserve to be killed, they're all monsters, even civillians". Is that okay for you? Also, do you think russians are different? Go on any pro-russian war reporter and you'll see thousands of russians cheering on "kh*khols" dying. Not soldiers. Civillians, kids. What do you think I feel when at a family union I have to listen to how Ukrainians have always been inhumane and abnormally cruel or savage? There are much more similarities between Israel and Russia than you think. That's why I'm so frustrated that so many Ukrainians support Israel. You think russians are unable to protest? Ohsalome here on tumbkr once made a post about what the reality of russian protesters actually is. Yes, the repressive government is a problem. But indifferent citizens are a much bigger problem. If you want to know how Israel treats its protesters, look up Frey Israel, who dared to speak against the attack on Gaza and the next day an angry mob gathered at his house. Or how police detains people for a wrong opinion online. Ofcourse, in Israel it depends a lot on wetuer you're Jewish or Palestinian. But please, stop buying the Israeli propaganda that they're a democratic state.

I also understand that the situation for israelis and russians isn't completely the same. Russians in Ukraine don't need that land. They have a whole country to live in. They didn't go through Holocaust and antisemitism, they didn't come as refugees. Jewish people in Israel did. Does that give them a pass for oppressing and displacing Palestinians? No. But this is an inevitable fact that you have to consider when you tell them to "Go back to where they came from". More than a half of Jewish israelis were born there, they don't hold a dual citizenship. There are also Jewish prople from Islamic countries. How do you imagine them going back? Again, not an apology. This is definitely not "Well, they will suffer, so let's leave the status quo, Palestinians may continue to suffer tho". No, that's not how it works. That's simply an argument why you can't just tell all israelis to go back where they came from and the issue will be solved. This is the same conversation I had with our native peoples on the subject of decolonization. I have posted on here that I came across very radical religious and conservative groups among my own people for whom decolonization means returning to the traditional society with religious law system where native people will have a privilege over everyone else. For them human rights are a colonial western value. So all those right we, leftists right for, to them are a colonial western value. Does this sound like a decolonization you'd want to happen? This is why I don't like when westerners are so delulu about decolonization. At the same time, there is the opposite end of the problem that zionists see any armed resistance from Palestine as inherently terrorism and enemy. We had a secular PLO, it sort of died out, now hamas and alike groups are basically the only ones that fight for Palestinians against the occupation regime. Do they have much choice of wether to support them or not? They don't. That'd be great if Palestine had another Yasser Arafat. But how can one emerge when these people are more busy surviving than thinking about politics. This is what several zionists fail to understand. For them, if hamas surrenders, it'll be peace and safety. For Palestinians that doesn't guarantee any safety and any peace at all.

Inevitably we come to the fact that there will be a resistance, there will be a fight, the will be violence. At this point as you might have noticed I support Palestinian resistance that is armed and that is ready to fight its oppressor. I do not support murdering the unarmed, I do not support war crimes. And I do understand that in order for a justful, democratic state where everyone will be equal to emerge, Israelis should also stand up against the regime and side with Palestinians. This is why I support so many Israeli human rights organizations. This is why I try to speak out against antisemitism in the pro-palestinian movement whenever it occurs.

Okay, it got really long and probably boring. I hope I made it clear about my "hypocrisy".

#azhdakha replies

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lemonzestywrites · 6 months

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weekend wip game

tagged by the wonderful @your-catfish-friend thank you love!!

rules: list your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

1. WIP list

wips

• a foundation of trust and love we cannot see (the big beast in question! my buddie fwb bdsm fic)

• 10 Surefire Ways To Be A Better Lover: A Guide on Strengthening Your Relationship (buck reads through a relationship self-help book while hooking up with eddie just guys being bros)

• fell in love with the fire long ago (buddie firewatch au!!)

• go on running (straight into my arms) (werewolf!buck x vampire!eddie smut)

2. which one of your wips is currently the longest?

afotalwcs absolutely (it’s at 73k rn and counting)

3. which wip do you expect will end up the longest?

again definitely afotalwcs- it’s already fucking massive and i’m nowhere near finished with it. like i genuinely don’t know what the end word count will be but i don’t think i’ll be surprised if i end up doubling it before it’s done

4. which wip if your favorite to write/the most enjoyable to write? why?

of definitely afotalwcs (i’m sensing a theme here) but that’s probably just cause i’m working on it the most rn

i also love fell in love with the fire long ago just cause it’s an au i’ve wanted to do for fucking ever now

5. which wip do you find the most intimidating to write? why?

it’s a good mix between fell in love with the fire along ago just cause there’s so much fucking research involved in that fic and 10 Surefire Ways To Be A Better Lover: A Guide on Strengthening Your Relationship cause i’ve seriously neglected her for a little while and im always like that with fic i haven’t touch her in a while

6. which wip do you experience the most self doubt with? why?

fell in love with the fire long ago- like with smut fics i always now someone will enjoy them but i feel like for me at least since it’s an au too im putting a different kind of care and effort into it by building the timeline/setting and i get in my head a lot about making it sure if lands as best it can

7. which of your wips will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? why?

i probably will for all of them tbh! i do my best to have my fics beta read (i have two of the bestest friends irl that are so kind to be able to read my fics for me) except the times they’re both extremely busy and i get very impatient and i post without them (baby i’m sorry-)

but seriously especially the longer fics that i spent the most time working in i definitely will just cause i wanna make sure they’re especially good/ read well to a first time reader

8) have any of your wips been struck by the curse of writers block?

YES. 10 Surefire Ways To Be A Better Lover: A Guide on Strengthening Your Relationship has been ons temporal hiatus rn (my poor poor baby) but i really wanna get back to writing for her soon

9. which wip has your favorite oc? tell us about them?

i don’t really have any ocs in my fics to be completely honest

afotalwcs has some background characters for calls and what not that i made up that i’m enjoying writing (anxiety ridden dominatrix in chapter one i love you)

10. which wip is the sexiest?

afotalwcs most likely which is a little bit of a given

though go on running (straight into my arms) is a close second cause i feel like i out a lot of heartfelt emotion into that one

11. which wip is the angstiest?

ooh probably fell in love with the fire long ago since there’s a LOT of pining there and decent amount of miscommunication (ironic given the fact they talk all the fucking time in that fic lmao)

12. which wip has the best characterization (in your humble opinion)?

i wanna go with fell in love with the fire long ago since for me most of his well i view characterization comes from dialogue and that fic is chalk full of it so i think it’s an easier translation

although there is some banter in 10 Surefire Ways To Be A Better Lover: A Guide on Strengthening Your Relationship that feels very true to buck and eddie

13. which wip has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

oh my god hands down fell in love with the fire long ago

it takes place in the middle of the sierra national forest (roughly) and let me tell you it’s so fun to research and picture how beautiful that park looks while writing

14. which wip have you work the hardest on?

id say afotalwcs just cause it’s so long and ive definitely been working on it the longest now

15. which wip do you have the highest expectations for? why?

oooh definitely afotalwcs- i’ve put a lot into writing that one so i really really want in to pay off, which i know it will since even if a couple people enjoy it i’ll be super happy too

it’s already gotten so much love and i haven’t even posted more than a couple random chunks and seriously it makes my world seeing people get excited for it

16. do you dream about any of your wips?

i day dream! that’s mostly cause i space out a fuck ton but no i don’t dream about my works in my sleep though

i wish i did cause maybe that would help my ny goddamn writers block LMAO

17. do any of your wips have particular complexities that your other fics don’t?

i like to think they all have their little quirks

fell in love with the fire long ago is very dialogue heavy since they’re talking through handheld radios and since it’s from eddie’s pov, bucks lines spoken through the radio are all in italics

10 Surefire Ways To Be A Better Lover: A Guide on Strengthening Your Relationship follows as buck is reading through a relationship self help book and each section is separated by a little excerpt from made up book which i enough was super fun

18. which wip is the funniest or has the most humor?

i’d say likely fell in love with the fire long ago just cause they’re alway talking they’re also alway bantering too

but also even though it is a smut fic i do wanna say afotalwcs as well- i think it’s very important for writing buck and eddie’s dynamic that even something like them fucking would be very light and fun and in some parts. honestly some of my personal favorite lines/moments are in that fic

19. do any of your wips contain outside povs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? how are you finding that process?

currently no! i mainly just stick to writing between buck or eddie’s pov (mainly eddie’s cause i find his the easiest to write in)

but it’s something i definitely want to work with one day!

20. tell us one thing we don’t know about one or more of your wips.

i’ll be nice and tell you one of each ;)

a foundation of trust and love we cannot see is currently 73k words and 17 chapters long. i rewrote the ending for this fic three times before landing on something that felt satisfying to me

10 Surefire Ways To Be A Better Lover: A Guide on Strengthening Your Relationship this monster of a fic is entirely from bucks pov which is most very difficult since i don’t write from his pov a lot and kind of easy cause i tend to be less restrained when i speak from his mindset

fell in love with the fire long ago was originally going to be a very striking resemblance to the game firewatch (the video game the au was going to be based off of) but i changed my mind about keeping the plot the same halfway through writing. instead it’ll just then being fire lookouts

go on running (straight into my arms) i made up all my own lore for both rb werewolves and vampires in this fic cause i kept finding inconsistencies between different variations before i finally yelled “fuck it!” and just did my own thing (can you tell i’m a virgo?)

no pressure tagging my dear friends @paranoidbean @housewifebuck @eddiebabygirldiaz and anyone else that would like to give this a go!!

#i wrote most of this late night while kind of delusional and i refuse to edit it either #so if you see typos no you didn’t #also finally name dropped my big allusive fic!!#weekend wip game #tag games

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mazthemeh22 · 10 months

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Old Art Part 2 (May 2022-Dec 2022)

Here's all my old art, originally posted to Twitter, with their original descriptions! (Some pieces are grouped to save space. Newer posts are first to keep original order. Links to tags and ppl are removed. Find this post via the hashtag #MazOldArt)

12:26 PM · Dec 31, 2022 //Finished a commission for a friend-of-a-friend's birthday, featuring Scaramouche and their adorable dog. This was only a special one-off request, but in the future I hope to open comms to all! Happy Birthday!! 🐶🎂✨#digitalart #DigitalArtist #GenshinImpact//

3:14 AM · Dec 23, 2022 //Asked a friend what I should doodle, and they suggested an edgy-looking crow. Time: 1h 30 mins. #Bird #digitalart//

12:42 PM · Dec 21, 2022 //A little while ago I was asked to animate the cigar on the St Bernard emote I drew a few months back for a friends Twitch. I think it turned out pretty well considering i'm not used to animating! ^^ #animation #dog #animated / (Twitter butchered the quality but it looks way better on stream ^^)//

5:23 PM · Dec 20, 2022 //Sorry for being inactive for so long, no reason other than art block/lack of motivation. Not sure how much I plan to post going forward, so if I'm gone for a while again.. have a wonderful [insert time]! Thanks to yall who've stuck around! Have a doughnut!//

8:39 AM · Aug 27, 2022 //Also, I forgot to post the fox we did over the last few streams! I feel so much better about painting fur each time I draw a cute fuzzy being. Here's the cutie all done! 🦊🦊 #fox #digitalpainting #realism #fur #animalart #cute #DigitalArtist//

8:34 AM · Aug 27, 2022 //Finished some Emotes for Kush! Here's a couple of them: #twitch #streamer #emoteartist//

9:40 PM · Aug 17, 2022 //Here's the 'gator and (alligator-snapping) turtle I drew for /RAlgiera! Getting faster and painting things, even if I kept it a bit rough. They're friends. :3 #digitalart #alligator #turtle #krita//

12:21 PM · Aug 14, 2022 //Fanart for the fabulous iLLxbiLL on Twitch, after a massive W in Getting Over It. Don't ask what's in the bucket... #digitalart #fanart #funny #streamer #gaming #gameart//

6:32 AM · Aug 13, 2022 //Finally this lengthy practice is complete! For around 16 hours, over the course of 2 days, I practiced drawing and then painting these wild fluffy doggos on stream. I've never done this amount of continued study before.. doing p much one after the other was a feat but I managed. / I also feel a sense of triumph through seeing obvious improvement when looking at the drawings in the order I did them. However my favourites overall are 4 and 5 as they have the most clarity and accuracy, done when I had the most optimal energy and a lack of drawing fatigue. / #digitalart #wolf #wolves #realism #practice #sketching #painting #krita #art #study #artstudy//

10:43 PM · Aug 6, 2022 //Finished our beautiful happy little froggy and made an emote for Kush out of it too (oo pretty crystal-looking frog). Cheers for hoppin' in!//

5:56 AM · Aug 4, 2022 //On stream tonight I drew a friends cat named Kota, who has a funky pattern that was hard but fun to replicate. Enjoy this cutie and thanks to everyone who came to hear my voice for the first time along with the updated set up. :)//

8:23 PM · Aug 1, 2022 //Here's the Blastoise and some doodles from the stream!//

12:08 PM · Jul 29, 2022 //Wasn't sure what to draw for the stream but a friend suggested to paint a sunset so that's what I did. Not something i'm used to so required some experimenting but it went well! Also did another emote for Kush. ALSO we hit 25 followers! Thanks guys! <3//

2:57 PM · Jul 28, 2022 //Had a lovely stream where I painted a cute boopable danger noodle named Cheese. Thank for all who stopped by! #digitalart #pringles #snake #realism//

10:26 AM · Jul 27, 2022 //Thanks to everyone who came to stream today! It was a long one. XD I got a lot done. Hope to see y'all again next time! Here's what we did: / Emotes for KommissionerKush on Twitch, a random animeish girl posin', and a free doodle requested by Drachenmen.//

1:20 PM · Jul 25, 2022 //Here's my entry for the Hollow Soul DTIYS competition by GebsArt! #6ebsContest #dtiyschallenge / This was a tricky but fulfilling piece. I haven't done much digital painting before so i was learning as I went and all in all, i'm pretty proud of how it came out. I changed the original pose to showcase (ha, Sho-case) his shocking ability and make him look a little smug.//

1:47 AM · Jul 14, 2022 //Things can get very cursed when watching an /izadoodle_stream... meet King Borbius (King Borb for short,) a cross between the 2 best franchises of all time. Keep on Morbin', my minions. #Morbius #Minions//

1:13 AM · Jul 1, 2022 //A birthday gift for /itsvollx, Terra from Teen Titans! Hope you like it! #TeenTitans #Terra #Fanart//

10:54 AM · Jun 26, 2022 //Dustin Kalloy (OC) of Taluchia, a peppy young lad with a kind heart and desire to learn about the family he never knew. Now he has to face an unfortunate truth - things aren't quite as they seemed. I wrote a brief little blurb to go with this fella. Enjoy!//

2:41 AM · Jun 20, 2022 //Drawn for another viewer during /JubelNaomi's twitch stream. Thanks for the Blartspiration!//

5:04 PM · Jun 1, 2022 //Drew Saiki K (minus his accessories) to practice anime style. Tried out some cell shading and warmer colours. I like how the eyes came out. :)//

9:10 PM · May 31, 2022 //Started trying to practice painting metal. It's very hard but tried to have some fun with it, even if not perfect. The skin and lock were inspired by a random mimic painting - which then inspired the mimic. :)//

Thank you for trekking through this massive thread. Stay hydrated. :)

#MazOldArt #old art #art #artists on tumblr #illustration #cute #my art #small artist #art tag #character design #digital art #doodle #woo im done #animals #anime #genshin fanart #art practice

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titan-fodder · 3 years

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Prima Vista Part I

Rating: E (explicit; mdni) Pairing: Mike Zacharias x fem!reader wc: ~ 9.7k Warnings: dubious consent (because of alcohol), just copious amounts of sex, oral, squirting, 69ing, college shenanigans, obnoxious frat boys, terrible fashion choices A/N: At long last, here we have the beginning. Massive thanks to @pleasantanathema and @whats-her-quirk who have been cheering for me since I told them I wanted to right a “little college AU” for a “little collab” June and I have been planning for a while. Also, I don’t know where I’d be without Lauren’s fraternity knowledge, so extra thanks for that, babe. I hope everyone has as much fun with this fic as I did.

God, you hate frat boys.

Their sense of entitlement, all their fucking house pride. Brother this, brother that. It's annoying. Add in the factors of being an athlete on top of it, and they're downright insufferable.

So it makes absolutely no sense that you're at a fucking Pi Kappa Alpha party.

Your friend, Hitch, dragged you here (naturally), and it wasn't like you could really object considering she's the only real friend you have on campus. You study together and switch off between dorms to watch movies and bitch about classes. She's the complete opposite of you in many different ways, but you soul-bonded over biology and that was that.

Unfortunately, Hitch decided she would leave you to your own devices almost immediately, opting to skip over to a game of beer pong and flirt with a boy in her statistics class. You have no idea why considering he has a fucking bowl cut, but she's been talking about him for weeks now.

The party is filled with loud music and too many people with red solo cups. There's no way they're all of age, so you're already paranoid that the cops are gonna raid the place, but there's nothing you can do besides leave. It's a tempting thought.

Before you can, though, there's an uproar in the kitchen, and curiosity gets the best of you. Moving from your place against the wall, you make your way over to peek in and see what's going on. A large group of frat boys, what you think are sorority girls, and whoever else wants to join are raising their cups to cheer. An especially loud voice rings out above the rest, "One win down, eleven more to go!"

Claps and supportive shouts are nearly deafening.

"I think we can do it! Do you think we can do it?"

More cheers, more hollers.

"Let's hear it for UC lacrosse!"

You have to cover your ears this time. Should have known this party was to celebrate the win earlier that day.

When the crowd parts, you see the ringleader, Erwin Smith who is very well-known on campus for three reasons: he will talk your ear off about history if given the chance, he's irritatingly gorgeous, and he will fuck any pretty girl with a pulse.

Again—you fucking hate frat boys.

To ease your bad mood and possibly encourage you to have some semblance of a good time, you shuffle further into the kitchen to grab a drink. You feel a little exposed, not dressed like many of the other girls who are either in rompers or the classic sorority chick outfit (giant college shirts that cover their shorts). You are in a crop top, torn shorts, and a floral cardigan. Not your best outfit, not your worst.

There's no way you're touching any of the pre-poured cups or the jungle juice, opting for an unopened can of mediocre beer.

You feel someone approach you from behind, glance over your shoulder to see nothing but a broad chest covered by a fucking hawaiian shirt.

Craning your neck, you're met with another familiar face, one Mike Zacharias known as 1) Erwin's best friend, 2) one of the tallest guys on campus, and 3) the best lacrosse player on the team.

You haven't spoken a single word to him but that doesn't stop him from grinning at you, flipping shaggy hair from his face, and chanting a low, "Shotgun, shotgun, shotgun!"

"Are you god damn joking me?" You ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Hell no!"

"I have shotgunned a beer literally once in my life, and at least half of it ended up on my shirt."

"That's alright," Mike's smile shrinks to a smirk. "We're all about getting chicks wet in Pike."

Face falling, you scoff, "Yeah, okay, I'm leaving."

You sidestep him, cracking open the beer, but he follows close behind you. It makes a little bit of fear spike in your gut—everyone knows the horror stories that accompany many fraternities—but you're mostly just annoyed.

"Hey, what's your name again?"

Again. As if you've actually formally met before.

"Why do you care?"

Mike does not hesitate when he answers, "'Cause you look like you're having a shit time here, and I'd like to change that."

You roll your eyes, let your head loll over your shoulder to look at him again. If you're being honest with yourself, he's kind of extremely hot with his undercut and flippy hair, not to mention the stubble that's grown out just enough to make you think thoughts for a split second.

"A noble cause," you quip. "Truly."

He chuckles, watching too closely as you take a sip of your beer.

"So? Name?"

After too big of a swallow, you answer him, and light green eyes brighten a little.

"Oh, you're Hitch's friend, right?"

Of course that would be your only identifier on campus. Hitch is insanely pretty and very outgoing. It makes sense that people just know you as her tag-along.

It doesn't stop you from feeling slightly offended, though.

"Yeah, and you're Erwin's friend, right?"

"Among other things," he snorts. "Mike Zacharias." He holds out a massive hand that you eye before taking, figure you shouldn't be too much of a bitch and make a bad impression on the most highly regarded frat at the college.

"I know who you are, dude. Not many people don't."

"Aw, flatterer."

That grin is back on his face, lopsided and far too charming, and you definitely need to get away from him before you down a couple more beers.

"Freshman?" He pries, and somehow you wind up at the staircase, leaning against the wall and praying he'll just stand beside you instead of caging you in.

He does, and you let out a breath of relief.

"Sophomore."

His eyebrows shoot up for a second. "Fuck, you've made it through a whole year flying under my radar?"

You give him a wholly unimpressed look. "Wow, you really know what to say to a girl, don't you?"

"That came off as shitty, sorry. I just mean, like, you're super cute. Feel like I would have committed you to memory if I'd seen you."

Your face heats up probably more than it ever has in your life, but you still snap, "We haven't had a single class together, I never go to your games, and this is the first Pike party I've been to."

Mike nods. "Ah, that explains it. Just haven't given anyone a chance to notice you."

"Sure, let's go with that."

Another several sips. You hiss at the taste, and Mike laughs.

"Can't handle beer?"

"Can't handle shitty beer."

"Ouch. Want me to grab you something else?"

He really doesn't seem to understand the warnings all girls have heard over the years. That, or he just doesn't care. You don't know him well enough to pass that kind of judgement.

"Uh, no. I always make my own drinks at parties."

"That's understandable." Except it isn't. He doesn't have a clue.

"Well, you can go grab one, and I'll just finish this one for you. Don't want it to go to waste."

It's your turn to smirk now. "That desperate to swap spit, Zacharias?"

"Like this?" He laughs through his nose. "Nah. But I can think of other ways."

"We've been talking for literally two minutes."

"I'm perfectly capable of making decisions in two minutes."

"Not any good ones obviously."

Tilting his head, Mike thinks out loud, "Can't tell if that's an insult aimed at me or yourself."

"Take it however you want. I don't really care."

His eyes glint with amusement. There's no way you're escaping this any time soon.

Long, thick fingers close around the top of your can, and he gently tugs it out of your hand then keeps those eyes locked with yours as he takes a sip.

"Gross." You try to keep the teasing tone from your voice.

"Just go get another drink."

You actually listen, mostly to get away from him but also because you could go for something easier to stomach.

A game of King's Cup is going on in the kitchen, a five obviously being drawn because everyone suddenly pantomimes holding a steering wheel. It's surprisingly fun to watch, so you post up next to the counter after mixing orange and pineapple juice with rum.

"Four's whores!"

"Categories! Different beers!"

"Seven heaven!"

"Ayyy, waterfall!"

You shake your head as everyone drinks for way too long. Some people are already swaying in circles where they're sitting. Others are simply red-faced.

"Wanna play?"

"Jesus! You came outta nowhere."

Mike looks too smug for your liking, but doesn't say anything, just crushes the empty can in his hand and throws it into the trashcan next to the back door, all gooseneck and perfect arch.

"Let me guess—you're reigning champ at beer pong."

"Nah," he waves you off. "That's Erwin and Nile. King's Cup however…"

"King's Cup isn't even a competition. It's just flipping cards and getting fucked up."

"Well, yeah, but it's still fun."

You let out a heavy sigh, eyes still trained on the game going on, then concede, "Once this one is over, I'll play. Just to get you off my back." And because he won't have the chance to talk to you for the duration of the game.

"Excellent."

You manage to finish your drink by the time the round ends, have to rush to make another as Mike strides over to the table and steals the two seats that have been vacated. They're right across from each other. You don't know if you'd prefer that or just sitting next to him so he can't stare at you.

Sauntering over, you plop down and place your drink in front of you. The guy to your right is quick to introduce himself with hooded eyes and a self-assured smile. You give him basically the same treatment that you've been giving Mike, making him pout and turn away as a freckled girl deals out the cards.

It's fast paced, and you find yourself drinking more than you'd planned. Mike picks you as his buddy (of course), and the guy next to you makes everyone drink for nearly thirty seconds straight when he pulls an ace.

Still, you find yourself laughing as people scream and curse. You catch eyes with Mike often, and as you finish your second drink, he begins looking very attractive. More attractive than before. So attractive that you allow him to pour your third cup.

"If you roofied this, I'm gonna be real upset with you," you tell him just before taking a sip. He added more rum than you did, but that doesn't surprise you.

"Hey, one of Pike's virtues is being a gentleman."

As soon as he says it, about seven people around the table shout, "Pi Kappa Alpha!" like some kind of sports team, and you roll your eyes so hard it hurts.

You're drunk after this game. And, then you make another drink and get plastered. Meandering around the rest of the party, bodies begin to blur together, the music fades in and out, and you barely know what you're saying to Mike anymore as he follows you close behind in the same state. For every drink you've had, he's had two, and now he's walking around with a cup full of jungle juice nodding at his brothers, smiling at all the girls who look at him.

His room is downstairs unlike most of the others, right at the end of the hallway. It makes it far too easy to end up inside, but as soon as the door closes and his huge hands find your hips, your world disappears entirely.

The first thing you feel when you wake up is a nauseating pounding in your head. The second is a very large body behind you.

God dammit, you think, trying to recall the events of the night before.

Pi Kappa Alpha. Hitch left you, so you hung out with… Mike Zacharias? From the lacrosse team?

Frowning, you try to look over your shoulder, but all you can really see is a head of hair. However, you can feel the coarseness of his beard against your bare shoulder, and that's enough to solidify that it is indeed Mike behind you.

Shifting some brings more of your physical state to your attention—your naked chest under the blanket, the way your legs are pressed together, your pussy between your thighs… swollen? Jesus, what did he do to you last night? You can also feel something dry and crusty on your stomach which is both disgusting and relieving. At least he had enough sense to pull out.

Luckily, his arm isn't wrapped around you which makes it much easier to sit up on your elbow. It takes you a while to locate your clothes around the room from where you are, and even then, all you can find are your shorts, shoes, and bra. You peer around, trying not to groan at the headache threatening to make you black the fuck out all over again, but that pounding as well as the nauseating churning of your stomach is making it difficult.

You slide out of the bed, basically crawling to the little pile of discarded clothes. As you fumble with fastening your bra, you glance around one more time in search of your shirt and cardigan, but it’s no use. What you do see, however, is the obnoxious Hawaiian shirt Mike had been wearing the night before, and well… You’d rather not leave the Pike house topless, so…

Snatching it off the floor, you slip your arms through the giant sleeves and somehow manage to button up about half of it. Then, you’re flying out the door, desperate to be in your own dorm, curled over your own toilet, in your own clothes.

Oh, thank god his room wasn’t upstairs, you praise, trying to remember the way to the front door. There are numerous bodies and tipped over cups to navigate through, and you cringe at the various odors that assault your senses.

You see the door from across the room, so close and getting closer as you try not to trip over anything, but as you pass the kitchen, you hear a smooth, familiar voice greet, “Good morning,” in a smug way.

Erwin is leaning against a counter, smirking over a steaming cup of coffee. He’s wearing only sweatpants, his hair is a little mussed, and for a split second, you understand why he pulls so many girls.

Still, you roll your eyes and continue moving—a classic DNE situation, but the frat boy doesn’t seem to get the message, instead calling out, “Nice shirt!”

“Fuck off, Smith,” is the only thing you utter before leaving, slamming the door behind you.

Mike easily catches the frisbee that spins directly at his face then quickly throws it back to try and catch Nile off guard. It works, and the brunet curses and has to go running after the flying disc.

A few girls watching from the nearby fountain clap and yell his name, wriggling fingers in a wave as if he can actually see that far away. Mike gives one wave of his own hand then turns back to the grass where Nile is jogging back to his place.

“You did that on purpose, you asshole!” He spits.

Mike shrugs his shoulders, yells back, “Get better at frisbee, and you won’t have this problem!”

Nile throws the plastic so hard that it flies off toward the fountain, making all those girls scream and dive for cover.

“Yeah, I’m not getting that,” Mike shakes his head. Nile drags his fingers down his angular face before setting off on yet another trek, apologizing profusely then standing around to flirt like usual.

Blowing hair out of his face, Mike considers joining his brother, but before he can, he sees a familiar figure turning on the sidewalk, about to pass the fountain and head toward Hartley Hall.

His feet are moving before he really registers it, glad his long legs can carry him quickly even at a walk. Mike calls out when he’s a couple yards away, and you turn to him, eyes growing wide before you start to move faster.

He can just barely make out the words, “Nope. Not doing this,” and chuckles, catching up the rest of the way.

“Hey, chill, I just wanna talk.”

You turn to look at him, head tilted up, squinting against the sun, and Mike has never been more thankful for his height because you look so god damn cute all small and irritated with him.

“What is there to talk about? I don’t even remember anything.”

“Yeah, neither do I,” he says, lacing fingers together behind his head. “Shame.”

“Whatever.”

Mike tries and fails to hide a snort, nods at Nile as you both pass him and the gaggle of girls surrounding him. Mike has no doubt his friend will get at least one phone number out of it, if not all of them.

“Did you at least have a good time before you blacked out?” He ventures.

You shrug your shoulders, hitch your backpack up a little higher. “Maybe. But, if I was just around you the whole time, probably not.”

“Aw, come on! What did I ever do to you?”

“You need a list?”

Mike nods. “Would probably help.”

“For brevity's sake, I’ll just say that you started the night trying to get a literal stranger to shotgun a beer and ended the night fucking said stranger and… Not holding back, apparently.” Mike frowns, about to ask what you mean by that, but you elaborate before he can. Voice dropping, you question, “Do you have any idea how fucking sore I’ve been for the last few days? What the fuck do you even have hidden in those stupid shorts?”

“I’d be happy to show you again.” He grins sideways, and when you shoot him a venomous look, he figures it’s time to change the subject. “Anyway, I may have done that and more, but you’re the thief.”

“Excuse me?”

Mike tries to sound nonchalant as he accuses, “Stole my shirt and everything." Honestly, he's a little upset that he didn’t actually get to see you wearing it.

“I—”

“That’s my favorite shirt, you know?”

You laugh. Finally. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”

“That shirt is fucking heinous, okay? You’re lucky I didn’t burn it.”

“Does that mean I can have it back?”

You make a little noise in your throat, something between a grumble and a growl, but you check your phone and tell him, “Fine. My next class isn’t for another couple of hours, so just…Follow me.”

It takes immense effort to not skip to your dorm like a little kid, but Mike is excited. He’s not gonna try anything weird, but just seeing your space? He’ll be able to get a better feel for you. So far, all he knows is that you live and breathe sarcasm and can’t handle your liquor well. It’s enough to get him a little more than interested, but it’s not enough to go off of.

The two of you gain a few looks as you make your way through the shared study space of the dormitory, heads turning, eyebrows raising in recognition. No one should be all that surprised; it’s not like Mike and Erwin haven’t frequented a lot of these rooms.

You lead him down a hallway, and Mike looks at all the little dry-erase intro boards hanging outside of every door. He’s a little surprised to see that the one by yours isn’t blank. Your name is written in bubble letters, surrounded by little hearts, and when you catch him looking at it, you’re quick to tell him, “Hitch.”

“Ah. Of course.”

He follows you inside, staying by the door to not invade too much of your space, but he doesn’t even try to be subtle as he looks around the small room. Pennant for the college hung up over a cork bulletin board that’s a mess of photos and sticky notes. Cluttered desk with just enough of it cleared to fit a laptop. Tiny succulents on the window sill. Double bed covered in a quilt. And there, in the open closet, Mike catches sight of his shirt—pastel pink and littered with palm trees.

After dropping your backpack on your bed, you step over to the hanging clothes and grab it, muttering, “Ridiculous,” as you hand it over.

Mike laughs as he slings it over his shoulder. “You know what’ll make you hate it even more?” You quirk an eyebrow, probably doubting that anything could, but your entire face falls when he informs you, “I have matching shorts to go with it.”

“No you do not.”

“Definitely do.”

“That should be a crime. You should be arrested.”

He chuckles, has a retort on the tip of his tongue, but something catches his eye—a bookshelf tucked away in the corner by your bed overflowing with novels and knick-knacks. Mike sees a particularly thick paperback, recognizing the black background and small desert picture on the spine.

“Bro!” He walks over, plants a hand in the middle of your mattress, and reaches for it. “Is this fucking Dune?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“This is, like, my favorite book, dude.”

“Seriously?” You sound just as disbelieving as you do disinterested.

Mike begins flipping through it, scanning over highlighted passages as he nods. “I have the whole series back home, but I only brought this one and Messiah with me to college.”

He straightens up but keeps a knee on the edge of the bed, and you plop down to sit on it, watching him closely as he continues to look over the notes scribbled in the margins.

“I had to read it in high school," you tell him. "Then my cousin gave me a lot of the books after I talked with him about it one time. I haven’t gotten around to reading them, though.”

“You really should,” Mike urges. “I mean, I know you probably have a shit ton of reading for classes, but if you ever get the chance, you should at least read the next two.”

“You some kind of closet nerd, Zacharias?”

“Kinda,” he admits, putting the book back on the shelf only to grab a worn copy of Fellowship of the Ring. “I mean, Erwin and a few others are well aware, but I don’t really broadcast it.”

“Not good for the cool guy image?”

“Nah, people are just more interested in other things,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on the tiny print.

“Mike Zacharias,” his gaze flicks to you as you laugh quietly. “Lacrosse god and big fucking geek.”

He closes the book and uses it to lightly hit you on the top of the head with it. You half-heartedly smack him right in his abs only to push against the muscle harder and ask, “Jesus Christ, what do you have under there?”

“You know, that’s the second time you’ve asked what I have under my clothes,” he points out, a little too satisfied. “Better watch out, or I’m gonna start getting ideas.”

You huff, but your hand is definitely still on his stomach, unmoving but warm through his shirt. Mike told himself he wouldn’t do anything weird once he got here, but you’re already on the bed and touching him, and he’d kind of really like to have this particular experience while sober, so he very slowly takes your wrist and moves it away.

It makes you look up at him, a question dancing in your eyes as your lips part. Mike makes sure his own stare conveys everything he’s thinking, wishes he could just transplant his thoughts into your brain so that he can put you a little more at ease around him.

You’re onto him, though, tugging your hand from his grip and blinking a few times. He figures you’re about to point to the door and tell him to take his fucking Hawaiian shirt and leave.

Instead, you pull on the fabric covering his ribs so that he loses his balance and has to catch himself before crashing into you. It puts his face level with yours, and you take the opportunity to kiss him—hard, desperate, and a little confused judging by the way you’re frowning.

Mike grunts, holding himself up with the arm on the side of your hips then uses the other to slide under the thigh closest to him and pull you further onto the bed. He’s straddling you in no time, up on his knees so that he doesn’t crush you.

Hearing the sound of shoes hitting the ground, he tugs his shirt off over his head, and then he’s curling over you again. Your mouths grow slick with spit. He slides his tongue past your lips, and you arch into him, fingers tangling in his hair. Mike pushes you back down so that he can strip you down to your bra and panties then takes the time to rid himself of his shoes and shorts.

“Oh, fuck,” he hears you breathe, and when he glances up at you, he finds you staring at what he knows is an intimidatingly large bulge under his boxer briefs. “It makes sense now—the soreness.”

Mike chuckles, slots his forearms on either side of your head and mutters, “Yeah, sorry about that.”

You lick his lips and he bites yours, bodies clashing together as he grinds himself against your covered pussy. Eventually Mike is able to snake a hand down your body, making sure to brush over your ribs so that you squirm beneath him. Fuck, he already loves the way you squirm. And, when he moves your panties to the side and teases your little hole, already wet just from making out, Mike discovers that he loves the way you moan too.

He’s slow as he pushes a finger in, groaning when you clench around it. Pumping it in and out, he gently works you open and wonders if he was courteous enough to do this the other night. He hopes he was.

You spread your legs for him, start bucking into his hand, especially when he hits that special spot inside you.

“Fuck, fuck, fu—” You grab his face, bringing it close to yours again so that you can muffle curses against his lips.

When Mike adds a second finger, your jaw drops, and you start to tremble.

“Too much?” He asks.

You shake your head, stutter a breathy, “N-no. Just—ah—slow. Go slow.”

He moves to suck on your neck, promising, “I will.”

Mike waits until you’re dripping into his palm and spread about as widely as you can be underneath him. Then, and only then does he shimmy out of his underwear and question, “Condom?”

“Bookshelf,” you huff. “In the jewelry box.”

When he opens it, a little ballerina spins, and Mike has to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. “That’s twisted.”

“Shut up.”

He grabs one of the gold packages and tears it open, then rolls the latex over his cock and discards the wrapper somewhere.

Mike only gives you his tip first, sits right inside your entrance so that you can squeeze him and get used to the feeling before he pushes in any more. You barely shift your hips back and forth, like an experiment. It’s just enough for Mike to see slick coating the end of the condom, and he nearly starts drooling.

He presses in a little more, appreciates the way your eyes roll into the back of your head, then adds one more inch.

“Jesus Christ.” Your breaths are coming in short gasps, words slurring together. He’s not even halfway in, and you’re already fucked out.

Your cunt is spasming around him, and Mike tries to get you to relax more by lightly rubbing your clit with the pad of his thumb.

You leak around him, pussy slowly but surely opening up a little more so that he can slide in further. He gives a few shallow thrusts that make you whine, then reaches up to grab one of your pillows which only sends him deeper.

“God dam—”

Mike lifts you and shoves the pillow under your hips, smiles in a way he’s pretty sure you hate, then jokes, “Better to fuck you with, my dear.”

“In...sufferable…” The annoyed tone is lost when you cry out. Mike buries himself as far as he can without hurting you. He isn’t quite balls deep, but you feel so fucking good that he doesn’t even mind.

Starting a steady rhythm that has every upthrust dragging over your g-spot, Mike watches through foggy eyes as your mouth opens and closes, chest rising with stuttering breaths before you exhale and moan. He dips his thumb between your folds to gather a little bit of slick and return it to your clit. The circular motion makes you arch again, and Mike abandons the little bud for just a moment so that he can unclasp your bra and pull it off. The sight of your tits bouncing in time with his thrusts almost does him in, but he holds back, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to gather himself.

You’re just clamping around him so perfectly, pussy drooling and creaming on his cock, and Mike is not a quickshot, but for you—

He pulls out all at once, flips you so that you’re on hands and knees, then spreads you open to lick into you from behind.

“Holy—”

Mike’s cock is throbbing where it bobs against his stomach, but he can ignore it for the most part, focused on eating you out, sucking at your messy lips then dragging the flat of his tongue over your hole. He moves his face back and forth, wants to leave his mark on you in the form of stubble burn between your legs.

“Mike, Mike, fuck, please.”

He’s positive you can’t actually hear him when he teases, “Please what?” right into the crevice of your ass.

You growl, push against him, and swallow enough pride to beg, “Please fuck me.”

Biting his lip, Mike straightens up enough to watch his fingers disappear into your pussy. One, two, then a third that makes your messy entrance stretch for him. He lowers his face again, feather light licks around your sensitive hole, and when he twists his wrist so that he can tap on your spot, you come immediately.

A mixture of slick and squirt drips from your cunt and soaks into your quilt. Mike pushes more out as he continues to finger fuck you, humming at the way your arms give out and you fall against the mattress.

This is the perfect position for him. He replaces his wet fingers with his cock and ruts into you quickly, chasing after his own impending orgasm. Pretty little whimpers fall from your lips, fuck drunk as you babble, “Oh, god, Mike, Mike, fuck…”

He’s gripping your hips too tightly, pulling you back against him, shoving his cock deeper and deeper until he finally comes with a shudder and a low groan.

Mike pants for a few seconds, then leans down to press a few kisses to your spine, but instead of the usual happy sighs he gets from most girls, you just roll your shoulders and mutter, “Stop that.”

He does, then pulls out, takes a second to stare at your pussy—worked open from his size and still dripping. It would make a very pretty picture, but Mike wouldn’t dare try that with you.

You roll onto your back, a huff of air leaving your lungs as you scrub a hand over your face then tilt your head to him. It looks like you have something to say, but you just chew on your bottom lip, eyes moving from Mike to the door.

And, he can take a hint. You don’t have to say it.

With a self-deprecating snort, he pulls the condom off, tying it then tossing it into the trashcan by your bed.

“Yeah, okay,” he nods. “Let me just…” Mike tugs his clothes back on, kindly tosses you your top so that you can cover yourself like you obviously want to.

He makes sure to grab the Hawaiian shirt that brought him here in the first place, tossing it over his shoulder then striding to the door.

Chancing one more glance at you, you force a smile and try to pad his bruised ego. “Don’t worry, it was good. You were good. It’s just not gonna happen again.”

Mike fights a smirk, raises a hand in a wave, then steps out.

Not gonna happen again, he chuckles to himself. Yeah, right.

You don't understand how this keeps happening, how you keep ending up in bed with Mike fucking Zacharias.

This time you had gone to the disgusting bar right off campus, got one whole drink in your system before the familiar trio walked in. They were all in khakis and pastels—Erwin in blue, Nile in yellow, Mike in pink. Again.

You actually slammed your head down on the bartop because despite how basic he looked in his light polo, Mike was still hot.

Is still hot.

Back at the Pi Kappa Alpha house, you're a mess of limbs on his bed. You take immense pleasure in tugging his shirt off, and once his arms are free again, he's lifting the hem of your little skirt and mouthing over your thong.

You're more than tipsy after a couple more drinks but nowhere near as drunk as you were the first night. It hadn't taken much convincing from Erwin for you and Hitch to play pool with them, and when Mike had come up behind you to help you line up your shot, you knew you were a goner.

While he's busy between your legs, you take off your shirt and bra. Green eyes flick up as soon as you toss both articles on to the floor, and without any hesitation, Mike reaches up to grope your tits.

He's clumsy and distracted as he tongues over the warmth pooling in your underwear, squeezing plump flesh and pinching your nipple so that you whine and push your hips further into his face.

Mike groans, just as drunk if not more so. He's messy as he kisses your thighs, nearly rips your thong when he pulls it off of you.

His tongue feels good, too fucking good as he laves over your entrance, soothing an ache that isn't quite there anymore but definitely was a few days ago.

"Taste so fucking good," he grumbles, slurping and sucking and making you squeeze your thighs around his head.

"Okay," you pant. "Okay, okay." You grab him by the hair and lift his head from you, stomach flipping at the sight of the bottom half of his face absolutely covered in slick.

God dammit, why is he so sexy?

Your mouth waters, and the thought of possibly giving him head this time crosses your mind. You're just inebriated enough to stay relaxed, didn't drink to the point of throwing up, and he has gone down on you the last two times so...

Lizard brain taking over, you sit up, tell him to flip over, then start making your way down his body.

Mike grabs you before you can turn to face him, fingers digging into your thighs and pulling you down to sit on his face.

"Fucking—I'm trying to blow you, for Christ's sake."

He moves his head just enough to tell you, "So? You can do that while I do this."

And, he's not wrong. It just means that you're gonna get distracted.

For a while, all you can really do is control your breathing and undulate on top of him, but eventually you fall to your elbows and lick up his shaft from base to tip.

Mike really does have a nice cock—a beautiful cock—bigger than you've ever taken in terms of both length and girth, and veiny in the perfect way. Even his balls make your pussy throb, large and round, the right just slightly bigger than the left and now dripping with saliva as you lower your mouth further and further onto his cock.

The feeling of his tongue buried in your cunt is making you delirious, eyes rolling, muscles going slack as you gurgle around the tip hitting the back of your throat.

Mike groans into you, his legs starting to shake, and you assume in your half aware state that he's trying to not just skull fuck you into oblivion.

You know you're making a mess, both on his face and on his cock. The fingertips that have been holding you open shift, one of them slipping into your clenching hole, and your hips begin to move on their own volition, riding what he'll give you while moving your tongue back and forth.

You've only taken about half of him, doubt you can take any more. He's hot and heavy in your mouth, and when you pull off to breathe, you can taste pre cum on the back of your tongue.

It triggers something in you, makes you raise up and clumsily turn around so that you can work him inside of you.

Mike groans a long, "Fuuuck," and immediately starts thrusting upward.

You're lucky you're as wet as you are, but the burn that comes with getting so stretched out still makes you hiss. You brace yourself on his broad chest, feeling the dampness of sweat forming a sheen on him, and your own body starts to feel too hot.

You had wanted to ride him to feel in control of the situation for once, but you quickly realize it's not gonna happen, Mike gripping your hips and moving you how he sees fit.

He's raw this time, a thought that should scare you, but he feels so good even through the discomfort. Every vein and ridge hits all the sweet spots inside of you, the flared head of his cock smooth as it presses just where you need it to.

You're squirting again—he just seems to be able to fuck it out of you. It's not the high you're looking for, but the release in pressure still feels divine.

Mike seems to enjoy it too because he looks down at where you're connected, swears at the way you gush on his cock, then starts swiping fingers over your clit so quickly it almost hurts.

More fluid leaks from you, and Mike breathes a low, "Come on, baby, come on, 'm gonna fuck you dry tonight."

Hearing him talk like that—his hand rubbing over your overstimulated clit, his thick cock threatening to split you in two—causes heat to travel up your legs and down your arms until it settles in your stomach and floods you.

You cry out, stars and tears behind your eyes as Mike keeps going, taking everything he can from you until he's laying in a huge wet spot in his bed.

He lifts you just in time to shoot cum upward on your chest, white splattering then dripping down in strands to pool on his stomach.

You stare down at him, mouth hanging open and find him looking up at you with the same expression.

It's hands down the best sex you've ever had, but you're not about to tell him that. Instead, you dismount him like the fucking horse he is and stand on weak legs, actually have to lean on the bed for support.

"Just stay the night." His voice is deep and full of gravel. It's entirely too hot.

"Absolutely not." You shake your head, grab your shirt and his boxers then ask, "Where's the nearest bathroom?"

"Down the hall on the right, but you don't have to sneak out the window or anything. Just use the front door if you're tryin’ to run away."

You can't help but snort. Stupid. "I'm not trying to escape, dummy. I just need to pee."

"Oh. Right."

You slip out of the room, hoping it's late enough for everyone to be asleep, but you have no such luck as the door to the bathroom opens and fucking Erwin steps out.

He hums, looking you over for a moment as his lips lift on one side.

"Don't say anything," you grit through your teeth.

He holds his hands up in surrender, chuckles, acting all innocent. "Wasn't going to."

You squint, not believing him for a second, then move around him to get to the bathroom. Before you can shut the door, you hear him mutter, "Another one bites the dust," and consider running out and strangling him.

"Please please please come with me to this game," Hitch begs, her hands clasped together, imploring eyes wide and doe-like.

"No. You have plenty of other friends to go with. You don't need me there."

"But, I want you to be there. It's gonna be such a good match. Rival schools and all that."

You roll your eyes. "Hitch, in all the time you've known me, have you ever seen me give a single fuck about sports?"

"No, but you'll finally get to see Mike and Erwin and Nile play."

"All the more reason not to go."

"Do you not like them or something? Why wouldn't you like them? Everybody likes them!"

She doesn't know, and you don't want her to. She had been too caught up with that Marlowe kid at the party, then was kept busy playing pool with Nile to see you and Mike slip out of the bar together.

It's the only secret you've ever wanted to keep from her. You will take it to the grave.

"I just… I just don't, okay? I get a… Sleazy vibe from all of them."

You really don't. Not exactly. You're not a big fan of the 'fuck-every-chick-on-capus' mentality, but most college boys think like that. Only difference is these three can actually achieve it.

Hitch crosses her arms over her chest and gives you a look you've seen on your mother's face many times, usually when she has a point to prove.

"You know I'm just gonna keep bothering you until you come to one, so why not just get it outta the way?"

And, there's that point.

"Ugh." You know she's right, and you really can't put up with this all semester. "Fine, but I'm gonna bitch the entire time."

Hitch squeals and claps, bouncing where she stands. "Yes! Wouldn't have it any other way."

You dress in school colors, put your hair up so that it won't be on your neck as the sun beats down, then take Hitch's little hatchback to the field. You try to talk her into sitting toward the back of the crowd that's gathered on the bleachers, but she just pulls you to the front without acknowledging your request.

Even with the helmets, you can easily make out who's who, mostly because of their size. Mike and Erwin are doing some kind of pregame ritual where they hit their sticks together, shout something, and chest bump. It's the most alpha thing you've ever fucking seen and makes you question why you ever thought screwing one of them was a good idea.

To be fair, you never really did think it was a good idea. It just kind of happened. Three times.

But, it needs to stop.

You repeat that thought to yourself as you watch Mike sprint across the field and launch the ball into the goal several times. You repeat it as he dances around his opponents with ease, quick footwork until he can throw them off. You repeat it as he stands on the sidelines and takes his helmet off to shake out sweaty hair and squirt water into his mouth.

And, none of it really helps. Mike is pretty incredible on the field, especially with Erwin and Nile backing him up. Everyone in the stands is screaming, yelling their names and chanting. It's a little contagious, you have to admit. You get as far as clapping but refuse to actually cheer.

At some point, Erwin jogs over to the bleachers and waves his arms for everyone to get louder, and they sure do. Even through his helmet, you can see his sparkling white smile, and your own lips curl up as you shake your head at him. Unbelievable. He has all these people at his beck and call.

Erwin has to get back on the field, though, fueled by the crowd like the other nine players. They end up pulling ahead of the other team and finishing the game eleven to seven.

Naturally, Erwin announces a party at the Pike house, and naturally, Hitch drags you to it.

This one is even bigger than the last. It offends every one of your senses—too loud, alcohol permeating the air, bad drinks, worse dancing, and strangers rubbing against you as you pass them.

You give up on your beer before you’re even halfway through with it, just set the can on one of the counters and start milling around. You’d rather be anywhere else but here. Your head hurts from the game earlier, baking in the sun and not drinking enough water. Should’ve taken an Advil… And some Benadryl. Hitch wouldn’t have been able to bring you here if you’d been unconscious.

All of the lacrosse team is there, flanked with guys who won’t stop slapping them on their backs and girls who won’t stop batting their eyes and squeezing their biceps. It’s comical, really, the fairweather trend. There’s no way this would be happening if they’d lost their last three games. Instead, the team would be getting harassed and pestered, not so subtle comments about practicing more and replacing members. You’ve seen it all before.

Leaning against a wall, you watch it all unfold. It’s probably the most entertaining thing at the party other than the group of sorority girls dancing on a table. Things are getting out of hand already, and you would prefer not be here for the aftermath, but just as you're about to leave, Mike breaks away from the group and strides over to you.

“Hey, didn’t expect to see you.” He takes a sip from his cup, smiling around the rim.

You use your usual excuse: “Hitch,” and he nods.

“Right. Did you watch the game today?”

Crossing your arms, you mumble a, “Yes,” that Mike can’t hear but can definitely see.

He beams then asks, “You gonna tell me I played well? ‘Cause I did.” He’s all cocksure and giddy, and it makes your body run hot in a few different ways.

“I don’t think you need anyone else fawning over you,” you say with a condescending laugh.

“You mean you don’t want me to flex for you?”

“I’m leaving. Right now." When you push past him a little too roughly, it causes him to drop his cup, and your shirt is suddenly plastered to your chest and stomach. The white isn’t discolored, which leads you to believe, “Fuck, is this just straight vodka?”

“No, Christ,” he cringes at your wet state, looking genuinely apologetic. “It’s just water. Sorry.”

You scrunch your top up to wring it out, wondering what he’s doing drinking water instead of liquor, but you’re not about to pick on him for staying hydrated.

“It’s fine. I was about to leave anyway.”

He’s quick to stop you with a, “No, don’t. Just… change into one of my shirts or something."

Narrowing your eyes, you contemplate how many ways this can go wrong, how much you should not allow this, and even go as far as accusing, "You're just trying to get me in your room again."

"You wanna stay in a wet shirt?" Not really. "Come on."

He jerks his head toward the hallway, and you end up following him, grumbling the whole time because you swear to God if you end up on your back for him again, you're going to be very upset with yourself.

Mike beelines it for his dresser as soon as you're in the room, much quieter than the rager outside. He digs around in it, flipping all the way to the bottom then pulls out a heather gray tee.

"It'll probably still be a little big, but it's from high school, so you shouldn't drown in it."

He tosses it to you then, to your surprise, turns back to the wall to give you the privacy to change. You eye him the whole time, peeling off your top as well as your bra since it soaked through. His shirt still covers your little shorts, and you assume you look a lot like one of those sorority girls, but it's good enough, has that super soft feeling from being worn too much.

"Thanks. You can, uh… You can turn around now."

Mike looks over his shoulder, like he's making sure you're decent, then turns around fully.

"I was trying to get outta there anyway. Spilling a drink on you was a good excuse."

You open your mouth, choking on a scoff, then ask, "Did you do that on purpose?"

"No! It really was an accident. I'm glad it was just water, but I still feel bad."

You're squinting at him, but now you're curious about something else.

"Why'd you wanna get away from the party?"

Sighing, Mike shows a tired smile. "Honestly, I'm still worn out from the game. I'm already sore and covered in these god damn bruises. I just wanna relax."

"If you're covered in bruises, I can't imagine how the other team feels. You smacked the shit outta some of 'em."

"So, you were watching."

"I may have glanced up once or twice," you lie. "Anyway, why don't you just hide out in here?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Erwin insisted I show my face, and I didn't want him to give me shit about being a recluse."

You can relate. It's why Hitch drags you everywhere. You wouldn't even leave your dorm for classes if you didn't have to.

Still. "Dude. You're definitely not a recluse. You're fucking everywhere. All the time."

"So? I can get tired too."

He's got a point.

"Can we just chill in here for a while?" He asks you.

"Why do you need me to chill? You basically just said you needed a break from social interaction."

"Yeah, but not all social interaction," he corrects with a small grin. "Please? I've got movies and video games, Zelda and shit."

Again, the contemplation kicks in, all the pros and cons. You know very well what this can (will) lead to, but you also want to escape the party. And, if Hitch whines about you leaving, you can tell her you were there the whole time. Not like it's a lie.

"Fine, but I have some stipulations."

"Oh, do you?"

"I do."

Mike waves a hand for you to go on. "Let's hear 'em then."

Holding up one finger, you tell him, "You have to let me snoop around your room—" he laughs. You lift another finger, "—and we are not, under any circumstances, having sex."

"Deal."

You tilt your head, taken aback at how quick he is to agree. "Wait, seriously?"

"Seriously. Go ahead. I'll pull up Hulu."

You hum, still suspicious, but start making your rounds, taking in photos from what you assume to be the high school soccer team he played on, then a fishing trip with Erwin, a middle-aged couple with a dog, and some pinned up tickets to sporting events he's attended.

He has a bookshelf against a wall, textbooks at eye level, but the top and bottom shelves are filled with sci-fi and fantasy novels that make you smile. His TV is fairly large, big enough to see the picture from his bed which is also sizable and draped with a plush comforter. The last thing that catches your eye is his closet, halfway open and full of jerseys and Polos. A few different pairs of shoes sit at the bottom, but pushed all the way in the corner are a few boxes of fucking Magic the Gathering cards.

"Oh, man. You really are a closet nerd. Like, literally."

"Huh?" Mike looks over at where you're kneeling, realizes what you're looking at and actually sounds self-conscious when he admits, "Yeah, uh, I wasn't joking the other day."

"I've never played—too technical for me—but my friends in high school did."

"There are baseball cards back there too if that makes me any cooler."

"It doesn't," you say bluntly before straightening up and reaching to shut the door to his room. Plopping down on the floor next to him (where he was smart enough to sit), you add, "But even I can admit it's kind of endearing."

"Oh yeah?" He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, that stupid lopsided grin on his too-handsome face.

"Don't get cocky, Zacharias."

"You wouldn't let me if I wanted to."

Both of you agree to a Batman movie, and you make yourself comfortable, kicking your sandals off and leaning against the bed behind you. You're a little too aware of Mike's body beside yours, but you're able to ignore it for the most part, keeping a few inches between your arms and legs. Of course, he still brushes against you when the movie ends and he takes the time to stretch. His shoulders roll, making his shirt strain over his back, and when he holds his arms out, linked at his fingers, you can't help but take a quick look at his bulging biceps.

"Fuck, I'm gonna feel like garbage tomorrow," he complains. You can see the bruises littering his arms, some of them thick lines while others are almost perfectly circular from where he was hit with the end of a lacrosse stick.

"You have any classes?" You ask.

"Just my ten o'clock and three o'clock."

You make a noise of acknowledgement then fall silent. You're not sure how to hold a conversation with him that isn't sarcastic or snippy since you haven't actually done a lot of talking in the first place.

"Sucks," is all you can come up with.

"It's alright. I've probably dealt with worse."

"Probably?"

"Well, nothing really comes to mind, but I'm sure I have."

You should get going. It's late, and you have a nine AM tomorrow. Plus, the longer you sit next to Mike, the more ideas pop up in your head. Dirty ideas. Ideas that will leave you disappointed in yourself.

"Well, I'm gonna head back. This has been…" You're unsure of what word to use, don't want to get his hopes up by saying 'fun'.

Mike figures you out and offers, "Tolerable?"

"Yeah, we can go with that. I'll get your shirt back to you sometime soon."

Mike chuckles and gets to his feet. "Just whenever you can." He grabs your wet top from the ground and holds it out to you, then reaches for the door as you slip on your sandals.

You feel him close behind you, close enough for his chest to push against your back when you straighten up. His arm is pressing into your side, hand curled around the knob and twisting it, but he's unable to open the door as you let your head fall against it.

"God dammit."

"Hm?" You can tell he's leaning down because his breath falls just over your ear.

"I said we weren't—"

He cuts you off, "But, you want to."

He's too hot and too smooth, and you can’t stop yourself from turning around and breathing, "Yeah, I want to."

It's different tonight. Mike takes his time undressing you, kissing and sucking your neck, your collarbone, your nipples that pebble against his tongue. It's unnerving even as you squirm and moan.

He eats you out lazily, flattening his tongue against your folds then dipping into your slit so that he can slip into your twitching hole.

When he adds a finger, you immediately grind down on it, silently begging him to work you open enough to take his cock, but he doesn't move any faster, apparently content to just drive you insane.

You're nearly begging by the time he turns you on your side and moves to lay behind you, hiking your leg up and pushing most of his length inside of you in one faultless motion that makes you choke and sob his name.

That stretch is back, delicious as it is painful as he splits you open. His thrusts are the same slow pace, cock dragging against gummy walls as he drapes an arm over you to toy with your swollen clit.

It takes you both longer than usual to come, but when you do, your whole body trembles against him, and you have to suck in several deep breaths until you feel like your lungs start actually filling with air.

Mike paints your back with warm cum, groaning right in your ear as he rubs against you, his cock sliding easily up and down your skin and making more of a mess.

That unnerving feeling blooms in your chest again, crawls up into your throat.

Tonight had been too casual, too natural. The way you hung out and watched a movie was already a little strange. Him fucking you from behind, holding you tight against his body, was too tender. And, now, after he leaves to grab a wet towel and uses it to clean your back, you find yourself searching for words again only to come up with passionate—intimate.

And, words like that scare you.

[ n e x t ]

#miche zacharias x reader #mike zacharias x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #mels prima vista #mels frat house

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ichorai · 3 years

Text

i just wanna say thank you to every single one of you !! the mutuals i talk to, the ppl i see on my dashboard, the ppl who like my fics / posts, and the 3.7k that follow me omg :(( i love yall sm i rlly dont deserve you guys

2021 may not be the blessing that all of us want, but we can try to survive through it together !! pls pls pls stay safe and healthy and my messages + inbox are always open for anybody who wants to talk or just needs a friend ♡

tumblr crushes. everybody listed below are all the blogs i’ve had massive crushes on (dkjdf im rlly exposing myself huh) bolded are the crushes that follow me back aka my moots !! whether we talk every day or not at all, i love all of u sm :3

# - e ;

@127-mile, @1oserjk, @3riberri, @4-sun, @429hj, @99yh, @9uk, @aasthrielle, @agustdiv1ne, @angeliicmin, @angelinanamoo, @annawritesnct, @army-author, @ashisparanoid, @asteriaguk, @atbzkingdom, @ateez-little-star, @ateez-svt, @ateezinmymind, @ateezsunrise, @ateezthings, @atiny-ahgase, @atiny-baby, @atinybitofau, @atinybrew, @atinyfeels, @atinykidult, @atzgiggle, @aurorhwa, @ayyysweetcreature, @baehyukng, @baekhvuns, @baekhyunl, @baekonbaek, @baekwell--tart, @bangtantaegi, @barsformars, @beyond-gethsemane, @binnies, @blueish-sun, @bluelotuss, @bluemiinn, @bluumin, @brathyuck, @burgerkang000, @btsbed, @bubyjong, @butterflyjoong, @by-moonflower, @byeoltoyuki, @c-sanshine, @call-me-bha, @canyounotkaia, @cappujinho, @cchaiart, @ceojongho, @ceruleanskies, @chanbinns, @changsun, @cherryatiny, @cherryhan1386, @cherryjk, @chimtaera, @chittsu, @choi-san, @choijongho, @choisans, @chryzu, @cinanamon, @cinnaminsvga, @closer-stars, @cometoceantrenches, @cosmoguk, @cozyjae, @cozyteez, @crustypeppermintcookie, @crvgio, @cuddlyunho, @curanonemu, @daybreakx, @dazzlingkai, @ddaenysus, @ddalgi-yong, @dear-hao, @dearncityy, @dearyongs, @dejvns, @diaryofateez, @dis-easy, @djxiao, @dreamiehrs, @dreamiesdotcom, @dreamingxuxi, @dreamtaehyung, @dylanxmin, @eggyukhei, @elcie-chxn, @emhpathy, @ephemeralkookie, @essenteez, @eternalbulletproof, @ethaeriyeol

f - j ; @faerieth, @fakeleaves, @fandomsonrequests, @feverishdreamdistrict, @fleurateez, @flirtyhyuck, @flowerboyyoonbin, @flowerkth, @flowerseok, @floweryjh, @flvtteringpetals, @foreveryouaremystar, @fortunexkookie, @fqiryaurora, @gaylligator, @gowonhatesyou, @grxceblqckthxrn, @gukssunshine, @guktro, @gukwluv, @gukyi, @gyukult, @haine13, @halahala, @halahalaatme, @hanatiny, @hanavbara, @haotheheckk, @heartyyjeno, @heavenlyhongjoong, @heeseungluvs, @heterotragedies, @hobidreams, @honeybeedaydreams, @honeytae, @hongcultz, @hongism, @hopejanaee, @hoseoksyn, @hoshees, @hquackity, @httpknjoon, @hunjins, @hwaberrykiwi, @hwaddict, @hwanami, @hwaseongsbabie, @hwastreasure, @hyuckles-chuckles, @hyucktapes, @illicit-roses, @imlikechaitea, @imoonstarstuff, @inclebtsmix, @inkigayeo, @interstellix, @jaehyuked, @jaehywn, @jaemericano, @jaeminslatte, @jaeminsorbit, @jamaisjoons, @jamaiswoo, @jamaisvujjk, @jayehope, @jcngkooks, @jcngyeol, @jenojam, @jensungf, @jeogiyall, @jeong-uwu, @jeongyunhoed, @jeonqqin, @jeonsdear, @jeonsweetpea, @jimindelune, @jimineos, @jimlvb, @jinmindeulle, @jinned, @jisungshotfirst, @jjeongukie, @jjoon, @joenns, @johnni, @jonghours, @joonghwas, @jooniescupcakes, @joonsgalore, @joonsinnerchild, @juliaseongjoong, @junghelioseok, @jungkookiebus, @jungkxook, @jungshookz, @junstruly, @justrose-things, @jwyfldr

k - o ; @k-n-e-o, @kayabred, @kim-taehyung, @kimchitae, @kimnjss, @kimtaehyunq, @kingjoong, @kireiwoo, @kitsutaes, @kittae, @knjspjm, @kodabodaa, @kookiesjoonies, @kookiestarlight, @kookmint, @kpophoneybunny, @kqtiny, @kyung-seokie, @kyuscafe, @lafaussejoie, @lavenderkoo, @leebutnot, @leeknowism, @lettersfromaphrodite, @lettersfrompersephonae, @lightgreybg, @lilacwoo, @lostcherryjk, @loveablejeekies, @lovedsweet, @lovely-ateez, @lovelygalaxy333-writes, @lovsoul, @lunarmingi, @luvsjoon, @lvrbun, @lybomb, @m24sail, @mapofbts, @markftmingi, @may-tree, @meiiyue, @melodiamore, @mhirais, @midnightseonghwa, @milkbts, @milkyoonoh, @minflix, @minghaon, @mingi-theestallion, @mingkiii, @mingtopiaa, @minihongjoong, @minsugams, @mintyguk, @minyoongail, @mismatchmark, @mistymark, @mjlkau, @mmmhs, @mmoondance, @monotape, @moonblssm, @moongaera, @moonguk, @moonlightzone, @moonlitmyg, @mountainhearts, @mountainsluna, @ms-starlight, @nakamoto, @namgination, @namkooks, @naryfial, @neo-shitty, @neocitybynight, @neptune-xuxi, @nevio, @nose-bandaid, @nvmguk, @oceanofaurora, @ofcyunho, @oksws, @omot7, @onceatinymoo, @orphicepiphany, @osakkun, @ot7always, @park-seonghwa

p - t ; @peachjaem00, @peaches-writes, @personasintro, @petitemingi, @phattestuwu, @philosopher-of-fandoms, @pinktea99, @pinkyyunho, @pjimns, @pjmsdior, @prdshobi, @punkill, @queereightiesheartthrob, @riajae, @rookiegukie, @rosy-wooyoung, @royaltypark, @saksukei, @san-hwa, @sanhwaflower, @sannieboy, @sanstar, @santastic, @seacottons, @seiiblue, @seokstrivia, @seonghwanotes, @seongwhy, @seongsangies, @seonqwha, @serendipityseulgi, @serendipityunho, @serenityswords-main, @seungyoune, @shangri-woo, @she, @shuhuas, @sichengsbimbo, @sillyseoks, @simphwa, @simpsiren, @sketchguk, @skymoonandstardust, @sleepingrenjun, @sleepyateez, @sleepyjhs, @sleepyyangyang, @smallfrye, @smileysuh, @smoochkooks, @snackhobi, @softjeon, @softyoongina, @solarmingi, @soleilees, @songteez, @spacejaems, @sparklingchan, @starlightjoong, @starryseung, @starsuh, @straypatchkids, @strayssara, @stressed-asian, @stutterfly, @sugarboyuto, @sugarjaee, @sugaxjpg, @sungchans, @sunkissedjk, @superhajimark, @taehyungsjuicybooty, @taeilmeyourw1sh, @taelepathysroom, @taemines, @taerseok, @taeyongleee, @talkbykhalid, @tbhchoi, @tearvantae, @teeniemoarmy, @tenaciousinferno, @tenseoyong, @teote, @thanxxskz, @the-marionettes-locket, @the-star-named-dowoon, @the-wonandonly, @thespadesinyourhearts, @thorsdreams, @timetoresurface, @tiniesan, @tinylaelia, @toffee-hwa, @treasure-hwa, @treasurehobi, @tsukuyomes, @tvfff, @twdeadfanfic

u - z ; @uayv, @userguk, @utopianvoices, @v-hope, @vante-love, @vanxbb, @venusjinnie, @viastro, @wabisaba, @waiyv, @warmau, @whimsical-ness, @wincore, @wintertae, @wonglix, @woojjongs, @wooyunhwa, @writearctic, @wuuyoung, @xherxx, @xiaocity, @xjoonchildx, @xsandjenos, @xuxi-rolls, @yeochikin, @yeoldontknow, @yeoldotcom, @yeosangscupid, @yeostars, @yeosvng, @yessidzuiichi, @yooaliceee, @yoondoze, @yoongicrumbs, @yoongs-jeontae, @yoonia, @yoonohho, @yunhoiseyecandy, @yunhoway, @yunhowhoitiss, @yuniixoxo

follower count + note ; 3.7k ???? why are yall following me omg kdjdkfjd thank you :(( the amount of love i hold for you guys is immeasurable !! a lot of yall tell me that you’re too scared to talk to me but pls do !! i dont bite i swear !! i love making friends here ! and im sorry for not replying to all of your asks :// sometimes i like to keep them private for my eyes but i swear i read every single one !! thank you again and have a great new year !

following count ; 1.3k lmaoo my dashboard is constantly flooded and sometimes it’s really hectic but fr thank you all for filling my tumblr with happiness and positivity with the occasional thirst trap for a kpop idol rip

2020 fics + upcoming in 2021 recapping all of the fics i wrote this year + lil comments / behind the scenes

- read to me ; kim namjoon ; may 23 - an accident ; johnny seo ; may 23 - chocolates ; jung jaehyun ; may 23 - flash drive ; lee donghyuck ; may 23 - rain ; jeon jungkook ; may 25 - flirts (but no kisses) ; park seonghwa ; may 29

i wrote all of the fics above as part of a short drabble game i made to get out of my writers block !! they weren’t my best works, but i got around 70 requests omg and i only wrote out the first six rip :(( i wanted to write more but i just needed a break for my mental health and couldn’t continue on so i’m sorry to those who requested and didn’t get a fic :(

- rivers over stones ; jeon jungkook ; sept. 12 this huge monster of a fic was what got me out of my writers’ block !! tbh i expected the fic to get like.... 20 notes but it ended up getting far past 3.5k omg thank you so much for all the praise for this fic, it took sooo long for this fic to get out too smh, i can’t believe it was still received so well !!! fyi i read every single review / reblog tags bcs i love reading what yall think :D

- the day bled away ; park seonghwa ; oct. 16 i wrote this after catching up to the good doctor and i was just in the mood for angst and the idea of hwa being a doctor lol

- mr. sad piano man ; min yoongi ; oct. 29 more fluffy soft angst !! i love writing this genre, especially for yoongi and i’m happy this one was received well !!!

- birthday waffles ; min yoongi ; nov. 14 i was just so soft for yoongi and i wanted to write more for him !! so i made this soft / angsty fic that i’m not particularly proud of, but i’m still glad it’s out there bcs it was sitting in my draft doc for sooo long

- cellmates ; one ; two ; three ; jung wooyoung ; oct. 19 - dec. 23 this is my baby :(( my first long original series !! i’m sooooo excited for this fic to progress and i’m so happy you guys like it as well :3 i love making yall suffer lmaoo

coming soon in 2021... - future parts of cellmates - king!taehyung x mage!reader (21k written / estimated 40k) - fire!seonghwa x ice!reader (5k written / estimated 20k) - lots and lots more !!!

check out m.list + wips for more info.

final note.

thank you all :(( i really don’t have any words to say left so pls just stay safe and have a happy new year !!! my inbox and messages are always open !

#2021 celebration #i tried my best to include everyone so im so sorry if i forgot anybody :(#pls talk to me !! id love to make new friends #whyd it take me so long to make this lol #guys alphabetizing this was a nightmare but worth it :')

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mummybear · 3 years

Text

Borrowed Time - Chapter One - The New Guy

Words: 3173

Warnings: Swearing... think that’s it for this chapter :)

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Mark (OC), Tiffany (OC), Mentions of Sam Winchester

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

A/N: So this is the first series I’ve written in a while or at least the first one I’ve posted! So I hope you guys like it! The next chapters will be out every Friday, until it’s finished :) The series will probably only be around 6 chapters long, but I really hope you enjoy it! Let me know If you want to be tagged in this series or in any of my other taglists :D

Beta: @negans-lucille-tblr Thanks babe ❤😘

Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/mummybear

Series Masterlist

You let out a shaky breath as you take your seat at the back of the class, hoping that he will just leave you alone today. One of the new guys at school had developed a thing for you, ever since you’d ignored him on his first day, it was like he was determined to get you to talk to him. Lately though he’s been getting under your skin, and you’re so close to giving in. Sure the guy was hot, in fact, he may have been the hottest guy you’d ever seen, but he was also one of the biggest players in the school. The exception being in the last two weeks, where he had barely spoken to another girl who wasn’t you. Safe to say that had started the rumour mill. Then you hear the murmuring starting in the room, and that unmistakable feeling prickles across your skin.

You fight the urge to look up, but it’s like your eyes are drawn to him, like some kind of magnet is connecting the two of you. You finally give in and look up to find him already watching you, gorgeous green eyes locked on yours. Trying to look away is pointless, you know that by now. You do you best to calm your nerves enough so that you’re finally able to drop your eyes to your desk, and start pulling out the things you need for the upcoming lesson.

That doesn’t stop your entire body tensing when the chair beside you scrapes along the floor loudly as it’s pulled out. It’s almost like you can feel the eyes of everyone in the hall turn on you. You can’t control the way that your body responds to the sound of his deep voice.

“Mind if I sit here, Y/N?” he asks quietly. You try and ignore the gasps that practically echo around the large room, as you force yourself to look up at him again.

Swallowing around the lump in your throat you nod.

“Um, yeah, sure. If you want to,” you answer shakily. You hate how your voice sounds, but if he’s noticed then he doesn’t let on. He gives you one of those panty dropping smiles as he takes the seat next to you, and you could swear your entire face flames bright red.

You inwardly roll your eyes when you see Tiffany Chase heading over to your table. You never understood how she had come to be the most popular girl on the campus, but clearly dating every guy in existence was a good trait to have these days. That was yet another reason you were glad about not being “popular”, whatever the hell that even meant.

She leans on your desk, until her tits are practically in Dean’s face, but to his credit, and your surprise he doesn’t look. Instead he sits back in his chair, eyes immediately fixed on hers, not wandering her body, or the cleavage she's so blatantly offering him. She makes a point not to even spare you a glance, which is completely fine since you have no interest in what she’s giving away.

“I thought you were gonna show me your car, baby? Why don’t you ditch the charity case and come and have some fun with a real woman?” she purrs seductively, curling her fingers around Dean’s loose tie.

You wish you were anywhere but here, but you know there’s no other seats in class now, so your only other option is to pray for the ground to swallow you whole. You’re a little taken aback though when Dean’s large hand wraps around her tiny wrist and pulls her hand away, still remaining surprisingly gentle, especially with the look of thunder that’s overtaken his features.

“Sorry, Tilly. Change of plans, I told you last week, and a few times this week… if memory serves. Besides, there’s only room for one woman in my life.” As he says this you feel his hand resting on your knee, and you turn to look at him to tell him to move. But you stop yourself when you see the pleading look on his face.

Tiffany scoffs in disbelief, and has a look on her face like he just slapped her.

“It’s Tiffany,” she corrects him sharply, before she turns her gaze on you. And you have to fight every instinct not to push your body back into your chair, instead you sit straighter, trying to keep your face neutral.

“Can you like… move or something. Dean and I really need to talk, I think you’re making him uncomfortable,” she huffs, as if your mere presence disgusts her.

“Sorry, Tiff. I think you're the one who’s making my boyfriend uncomfortable, actually. He’s just being too polite, could you please just leave us alone now? I believe he’s asked you enough.”

It takes everything you have not to throw up the contents of your stomach, where the fuck did that come from?! You inwardly scold yourself, trying to hold your nerve. But to your surprise, Dean takes your hand and gives it a squeeze, and throws his other arm over your shoulder.

His lips press to your ear, and you can’t hold back the shiver.

“Thank you, I owe you,” he whispers, and you can already feel the blush creeping up your neck, the entire class is staring at the three of you like you’re aliens. But Dean’s currently more than enough of a distraction.

Her shrill laugh echoes around the room, followed by most of her bitch club behind her.

“Oh sweetie, no. Don’t be silly now. There is no way on this planet that you could be his girlfriend, you’d be extremely lucky to get a pity fuck with a normal guy, but Dean? No way. Now move, before I move you.”

Your heart drops into your stomach, but you refuse to look away from her. However, before you can even utter a word, Dean’s voice drops to a low growl.

“I don’t give a shit about your name, or you. You don’t get to talk to her like that, and you lay a finger on her, I promise you’ll regret it. So, whatever your name is, unless you want me to tell Mark that you’re trying to fuck me... and just about every other guy you set your eyes on, I suggest you go back to your own seat. But first, I think you owe my girlfriend a fucking apology.” You watch the colour all but drain from her face.

You lick your lips nervously as you turn to look at him, seeing the fire burning in his eyes, but his eyes don’t move from Tiffany’s face.

“Dean, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter,” you whisper sounding a little desperate even to your own ears. You rest your hand on his tensed bicep, trying to ignore the way you're clamping your thighs together, because this might just be the sexiest thing you’ve ever been a part of. Even if you had only started this ruse to get him out of an awkward situation. Nobody had ever defended you like this before, especially not this publicly.

“Oh, it does matter, baby girl. Isn’t that right?” Dean asks, mock sweetness in his voice and his arm tightens around your shoulders.

“F-Fine. I’m sorry, Y/N,” she responds the best she can with the amount her voice is shaking, before hurrying back to her friends.

The teacher walks in the classroom, forcing everyone's attention to the front, and you try to ignore the sense of loss you feel when his arm leaves your shoulders. But that feeling is quickly replaced when he takes your hand and links your fingers with his, and rests them on the table top between you.

“Dean, we should talk,” you whisper, when the teacher turns back to the board.

“Later, sweetheart, wouldn’t want you getting in trouble,” he smirks, pressing a lingering kiss to your already flaming red cheek.

Unfortunately, you don’t get time to talk to Dean, and you don’t see him after your last lesson either. You try to ignore the snickering and staring as you start to walk through the parking lot to make your way home, though it affects you more than you’d care to admit. When you don’t see any sign of him, you continue to walk lost in thought, knowing that it will take you at least half an hour but it’s worth it, because you can’t stay here.

You’ve been walking for about ten minutes when you hear a car roll to a stop behind you, the soft purr of the engine calming slightly as the window is wound down. You can’t help but smile as you turn around, and sure enough, there he is. Sitting in the driver's seat with a cocky smirk on his face. He leans over to the passenger side and pushes the door open, “you gonna get in, sweetheart? We can talk while I drive you home.”

You walk closer and fold your arms over your chest, raising your eyebrows at him through the now open car door.

“And what makes you so sure I wanna get in your car?” you ask through your own smirk.

“Come on now, is that any way to speak to your boyfriend? Just get that sexy ass in the car so that we can talk.” There’s a teasing note to his voice, and your smile widens despite yourself.

“Fine. I’ll get in… but only because we do need to talk,” you tell him, trying not to laugh as you climb in the front seat and close the door behind you.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, princess,” he laughs, tossing his sunglasses in the backseat. You give him your address, and he quickly works out the new route, before starting to drive again. He clears his throat and shifts awkwardly where he sits, before glancing between you and the road.

“I owe you, for what you did today in class. You didn’t need to save my ass, but you did it anyway. I really appreciate that.”

You blush shyly as you look at him, “I was going to apologise honestly. I don’t know what came over me, I guess I just wanted to help out… somehow, I know people can be a lot for anyone, no matter who you are,” you laugh awkwardly, rubbing your clammy hands over your skirt.

Dean shakes his head, and a smile crosses his plump lips.

“Sweetheart, don’t apologise, you did me a massive favour and I really can’t thank you enough,” he sighs regretfully, as he pulls into your driveway.

You thank him for the ride, but before you move to climb out of the car he grabs hold of your wrist gently, and you turn back to him questioningly.

“Is everything okay, Dean?” you ask nervously, wondering what he might say. You’re not sure whether to lean in or turn away when he turns in his seat to face you.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to you with a smile, “can I have your number?” You’re a little surprised at how shy he sounds, but you smile as you take his phone.

“I just think it might be a little odd trying to play along with this, especially if we can’t even get ahold of each other.”

“You make a good point there, Winchester. But for the record, I would’ve given it to you anyway,” you smile fondly, phoning yourself from his phone, so that you have each other’s numbers, before handing it back.

“So… How long do you wanna play boyfriend and girlfriend?” you wonder aloud, noticing the way that he blushes and scratches at the back of his neck, before focusing back on you again.

Dean clears his throat and shifts closer to you.

“About that…” he trails off, and you feel a blanket of nervous confusion settle between the two of you.

“What about it?” you question nervously.

“Would you be okay if we stayed together, at least until I have to leave town, I know it’s a lot to ask, but…” before he can continue you cut him off, resting a hand on his thigh.

His eyes snap to yours, and you quickly pull your hand away and clear your throat.

“You don’t need to explain, Dean. Besides, it was my dumb ass that got us into this mess. It’s really the least I can do,” you smile genuinely, and an obvious moment passes between the two of you, a moment which is completely unexplainable. But there’s a knock on the window closest to you that pulls the two of you out of it.

You jump back harshly, your back practically slamming into Dean’s shoulder when someone leans against his car, and his head is already half way through the window.

“Damn, I almost didn’t believe it when Tiff told me you were seein’ some frigid bitch, Dean. You hit that yet?”

Dean growls, and you can feel him stiffen beside you as he wraps a protective arm around your waist, like he can shield you from Mark’s words. It’s actually really sweet of him.

“Maybe you should tell your girlfriend to mind her own fucking business, and you should do the same, Mark. Before I put you on your skinny little ass.”

Mark lets out a deep boom of a laugh, and leans further into the car, his eyes sweeping over your body, clearly not taking Dean’s words seriously. It makes you feel nothing like Dean makes you feel when he looks at you, this guy makes your skin crawl and your stomach lurch.

“Shit, that’s gotta be one sweet pussy if she’s got you so whipped already.”

Before Dean can speak, you sit up a little straighter, and glare at Mark. Feeling Dean stiffen behind you gives you the confidence you need to get these words out.

“Why don’t you tell your whore of a girlfriend to stop trying to fuck my man, it’s really kind of pathetic. He’s not interested,” you huff out, hardly able to stand looking at him, so you turn to face Dean who’s smirking right at you, and way closer than you’d first imagined.

Mark starts to grumble something behind the two of you, but neither of you are really listening, and you can’t stop staring at Dean as he cups your cheek in his big hand.

“What she said,” Dean agrees easily, his husky voice sending shivers up your spine. You let his thumb brush your bottom lip, “you’re even sexier than usual when you’re jealous,” he smirks confidently, leaning in a little closer.

You swallow thickly, your fingers just barely manage to wrap around his wrist.

“Kiss me,” you whisper, watching as his eyes flick down to your lips, and he licks his own. There are so many reasons this is a bad idea, but for the life of you you can’t currently think of any.

Dean doesn’t even hesitate, before you can blink his lips are pressing against yours. The kiss is firm and his lips are so soft that you quickly lose yourself in the kiss, and you feel like your entire body is being drawn in by him.

He pulls back all too soon. His eyes are lidded as he looks at you, and his hand moves from your jaw, to cup the back of your neck. His hands feel huge, as he tugs lightly at your hair and you gasp against his parted lips.

“I s-should probably get going,” you whisper shakily, letting your fingers trace over the skin of his chest, where his shirt buttons are undone.

Neither of you even attempt to move, and before you think about it too much your lips are brushing against his again. He pulls you against him tightly and deepens the kiss, making you all but melt against him, and his hands remain firm against you as he effortlessly takes control of the kiss. You feel yourself edging closer, heart pounding in your ears and your head foggy, it takes everything you have to pull away from him, but you just about manage it. Looking up into his lidded eyes as you both pant hard, you swallow thickly and look over your shoulder, relieved to find that Mark has gone.

Dean cups your cheek when you turn back to him, his face the perfect picture of lust.

“You should go in, sweetheart. Or I might change my mind about letting you go… but I’ll text you tonight, okay?” he rasps, pecking your lips.

You can feel yourself blushing as you nervously bite your lip.

“What makes you think I want you to let me go?” you giggle as he leans in closer again, he’s so warm and smells incredible.

“Oh trust me, if this had anything to do with what I want to do, you’d already be screaming my name,” Dean all but growls.

“Dean.” His name is a whisper on your lips, and you can hear the blood rushing in your ears again.

Dean lets out a deep groan and shifts awkwardly in his seat.

“Shit, you don’t make it easy on a guy, sweetheart,” he smiles, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“You live here by yourself?” he asks suddenly, nodding over to your house, clearly trying to change the subject.

You shake yourself from your heady daze, trying your best to concentrate on what he’s saying. Clearing your throat you give him a small nod, unable to stop the smile from crossing your lips.

“At the minute, yeah. It’s usually me and my best friend, but she’s away visiting family this week. It’s good though, much closer to campus than my parents’ house,” you explain happily, remembering the way that she had told you to take advantage of the free house, but then you notice a strange look crossing his face.

“Sounds nice. I’ve never really had anywhere like this, my family didn’t really stay anywhere too long, not since my mom died. My dad has to travel a lot for work, and I’m learning the ropes, so I can take over one day.”

Your heart aches for him, and you have no idea how it’s even possible to feel this close to someone you’ve only known for a little over a month.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. It doesn’t sound like you’ve had much time to just be you. If you ever need to get away, I have no intention of moving any time soon, you’re welcome to stay here,” you tell him softly, resting a gentle hand on his arm, until he finally looks at you again.

“Thanks, sweetheart. That means more than you know, and I promise I’ll text you later. We can talk more then, okay?”

You lean in close and press your lips against his, the kiss lingers a little, before you finally pull away and whisper against his lips, “I’ll be holding you to that, Dean.”

Bold wont tag guys sorry!

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Pond Tags: @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @nichelle-my-belle @notnaturalanahi @deanscarlett @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @samsgoddess @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1 @deandoesthingstome @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles @wevegotworktodo @quiddy-writes @babypieandwhiskey @supermoonpanda @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog @memariana91 @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @becs-bunker @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes @maraisabellegrey-blog @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @clueless-gold @deanwinchesterxreader @winchester-family-business @there-must-be-a-lock @just-another-winchester @cas-backwards-tie @winecatsandpizza @firefly-in-darkness

#dean winchester #dean winchester supernatural #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester series #dean winchester SPN #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x y/n #supernatural #series #au #SUPERNATURAL AU #SPN #supernatural fanfiction

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alloftheimaginess · 4 years

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Can you do a supernatural cast series where you’re the wife and you do different interviews, like the videos on YouTube like Ad or thirst tweets or just answering fan questions whatever plz. If you have questions just message me and I’ll try to explain it further

Lol sorry it’s been like four months so don’t hate me but it’s been hard work juggling trying to write, school and work so sorry. I think it sucks but hopefully you’ll like it and I’ll be tagging the other parts in this one

Burning Fan Questions

Other parts

Alexander Calvert

Misha Collins

Jensen Ackles

"Hi I'm Yn Padalecki and I will be answer the fans burning questions about my life" I say smiling at the camera as I grab the bucket that's full of questions.

"I'm super nervous for this because before I got here Jared double dog dared me to answer literally every single question so I can't use my skip button" I say and the crew behind the camera laughs.

"Please for the love of god let their be questions to embarrass Jared more than me so he can eat it" I say giggling.

"First question" I say grabbing a folded up piece of paper from out the bucket.

"Who is the rudest celebrity that you've ever had the chance of meeting?" I read and I laugh.

"Oh that's a lot of them, there's an unsurprising amount of rude celebrities who think that they own Hollywood" I say laughing.

"But enough stalling because I have to answer this question anyway, the rudest celebrity that I've ever met was Christian Bale, no offense but he was a total dick to literally everyone around him, on set, off of set just everywhere" I say digging around the bucket for another question.

"What scandals has your team had to cover up?" I read and I start laughing.

"Noooooo" I say laughing even harder because I know I have to tell them.

"Okay okay. When I was 23 I had first met Jared and we got caught you know doing the deed and then the pictures were about to go out and they had to buy all of them back for double of what they were going to get" I say laughing shaking the bucket up and grabbing another one out.

"Have you ever used your celebrity status to get something for free?" I read.

"One time when I was out my daughter, Harlow we were getting frozen yogurt and I left my credit card at the restaurant we were at before without realizing it and at the register she goes oh my god are you Jared from supernatural's wife and when I'm with my daughters I usually pretend like I'm not but I totally knew she was going to give us the yogurt for free so I was like yeah, and then I asked her how she was and she was like oh this is totally on the house" I say laughing.

"I eventually went back and tipped a massive tip because I didn't pay last time" I say.

I grab another one out and I put the bucket down opening it "how many kids do you actually want?" I read.

"Well I already have two now but I'm aiming for at least five" I say laughing.

"I have a big family I'm one of 9 so I've always wanted a big family but not as big as mine so four or five would be a perfect size family for me, I honestly have a enough love for a million but four or five is definitely good for me" I say grabbing another question.

"If we came to your house what would we find in your cabinets food wise?" I read laughing.

"What an interesting question" I say.

"Everyone in the Padalecki household has their own cabinets because they are huge smackers. Harlow's is filled with the stuff she likes such as teddy Grahams, fruit roll ups, dried Cranberries, jolly ranchers stuff like that. Mine is filled with little cakes, gushers, banana chips which I swear by, peanuts, popcorn and Jared's, he has tons of candy, he is absolutely in love with white chocolate macadamia cookies and he always has those in his stash and Kiernan she's still on baby food so she's fully stocked on that" I say grabbing another question out.

"If you had to marry anyone that has starred along side your husband in his show supernatural who would it be?" I read.

"Oh hmm" I say laughing.

"Okay, Jensen is like Jared's best friend but I'm way closer to Misha so I'd definitely have to say Misha but no offense to his wife because I'd totally marry her as well or maybe even Rob, I love that man to pieces, he's a really good friend but then there's Rich, no offense to his wife Jaci but Rich and I have the best dance off's so that would be something to look forward to" I say laughing as I grab another question.

"If you woke up in Jared's body and had to stay in it for a day what would you do?" I say laughing.

"Easy, I'd leave myself little notes with plans for tomorrow so when I switch back he'll have to go through with them and we could have a perfectly planned out day because I planned it" I say laughing.

"If you go out to dinner with your non-famous friends, do you all still split the bill or do you pay?" I read.

"It depends really, my childhood friends don't like for me to pay for their stuff so we'll all split the bill but if I'm the one inviting everyone out then I'll pay before hand because then it'll be a lot of work trying to break it up" I say grabbing another question.

"What's one thing that Jared does that absolutely pisses you off?" I read cracking up.

"Breathes" I say smiling at the camera.

"I'm just kidding" I say laughing.

"When I'm super busy and like concentrating on my work he'll come over and innocently wrap his arms around me but then when I'm not paying him enough attention he'll start softly biting me and while I'm trying to work that can be so annoying" I say.

"What was the worst rumor that has been spread about you?" I read.

"I've had some pretty bad ones that I like to pretend didn't happen because they were literally so outrageous but I guess the worst one was that I was cheating on Jared. A few years back Harlow and I flew to my hometown for a few weeks and we spent Halloween out there and my twin sister and I dressed up as Sally from nightmare before Christmas because we've always done matching costumes whenever we're with each other and I posted a selfie on Instagram so everyone knew what I looked like but no one knew my twin sister was dressed identical to me and she took Harlow around with her now husband while I helped my parents be set up for the party and the paparazzi caught them together while they shared a kiss and while Eric played with Harlow and she was giggling and they put the photos on the front of the magazine and I was getting so much hate before I even knew what was going on and I was getting calls from our friends and they were asking me like how I could do that and then I had to go and post my pictures with my sister and write this long ass message about it and it was super bad" I say moving on.

"Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?" I read.

"My grandma, she pretty much raised me. My parents weren't around often so I had to live with her for like 5 years, me and all of my siblings" I say digging in the bucket.

"But the qualities that I love about her is one, the fact that she is the strongest person I've had the honor of meeting" I say holding up one finger.

"Two, her boldness is like unbelievable. I took her to the oscars and she started flirting with The Rock and that's when I realized my grandma was my hero" I say laughing and I pull another question out.

"What's something you did as a child that no one knows about outside of your family?" I read.

"For two years I only spoke in a British accent, I had everyone confused at school because I never broke" I say laughing.

"How often do you and Jared have sex?" I read burying my face.

"No, I'm not going to be embarrassed. Sex is a normal thing, it brings about joy, relaxation, sometimes accidental pregnancies" I say laughing.

"But back to the question, I don't know. He's gone for like nine months out of the year but if he has a three day weekend or whatever then we'll spend a night together but when he's home in the three months he's off of filming it's literally whenever the kids are gone if even just for 20 minutes. We try to keep it as normal as possible" I say laughing.

"What's the last text conversation you had?" I read pulling out my phone and I laugh.

"I texted Robert about his new Batman movie because it was announced the other day and I just seen it this morning so I had to quickly congratulate him and he tells me that while I'm super late he still appreciates it and won't hold anything against me when it's time to hand out movie tickets and I said I'd never forgot about you shiny and he sent the middle finger emoji" I say laughing.

"What are your pet names that you and Jared have for each other?" I read.

"Ha, finally a question that he'd normally not talk about but I was dared so I call him Bubba or bubs" I say laughing.

"Literally it's how he's saved in my phone and he thinks it's so embarrassing" I say pulling my phone out and showing his contact name and photo.

"He's Bubba and he calls me a lot of different things but the one he always goes back to is beautiful or baby" I say smiling at the camera.

“Do your siblings and Jared get along?” I read and I laugh sighing.

“Like I mentioned earlier I’m one of nine so that’s eight siblings and then all of my siblings are older than me. I’m the baby and they are all married so my older brother and his husband love Jared and Jared loves them, we’re actually both of their kids godparents but then with my third oldest sister she doesn’t like me so she doesn’t like Jared by default you know” I say grabbing another question.

“Okay this is a question I have to know how often you do and Jared shower together?” I read laughing.

“Do you have to know that?” I ask laughing harder.

“Sorry to let you down but we don’t really, we’ll not anymore with kids it’s best one of us is out the shower while the other one quickly showers because we can’t leave them along for too long” I say knowing that my answer is not what they were expecting.

“But before kids it’s was an every morning thing we did together before heading out for our different business or whatever we had to do that day” I say.

“Did you have an oh shit moment at your wedding, and if so what was it?” I read and I nod.

“Yeah actually I did. But it’s been so long since we got married that I actually forgot until I read this question. My brother bless his poor heart showed up drunk like he was pregaming our wedding and the security didn’t know he was my brother so they were like kicking him out and my sister runs in like “oh my god Yn, the security just kicked Kalin out” so I’m like half dressed and I go down to try to figure out what the hell is happening and then I meet up with him and he throws up all over me like I’m talking full body covered and the make up artist just left and I had to shower and call her back so she could come fix my face and it was very traumatizing because it was so gross” I say laughing.

“But the whole wedding was beautiful and he didn’t drink at all” I say.

“If you had to pick a song from the late 10’s-2020 to be you and Jared’s couple song what would you pick?” I read and I awe.

“That’s a cute question. I guess I’d have to say Flicker by Niall Horan, we danced together to that song when Alex Calvert and his wife got married and it literally felt so magical and now whenever I hear it, it takes me back to a happy place and I just think about slow dancing with my best friend and husband” I say smiling.

“Do you and all the wives of the supernatural cast get along?” I read and I quickly nod.

“Those girls are some of my best friends, they know what it’s like to have a family and their husband work on supernatural so automatically we have something to bond over also with Alex’s wife she has a massive family so we often talk about the drama and problems that come along with it” I say laughing.

"Last one. What celebrity have you had beef with?" I read laughing.

"Daniel Radcliffe" I say quickly.

"But it was when we were younger filming the Harry Potter movies. We didn't like each other for like the first 4 movies" I say laughing.

"Our characters were close in the movie but on set we hated each other, I don't know why and I don't think he does either, I guess our energies just clashed but when we got to order of the Phoenix and we talked it out before we started filming and have been best friends in person ever since" I say laughing and tipping the bucket over.

"That was my last question. I'm Yn Padalecki and this has been answering fan questions. Thank you for watching and I hope you got a laugh out of at least some of these questions or you learned something you never thought you would learn about me" I say smiling at the camera

#jared padalecki #jared padalecki x reader #jared padalecki x you #spn cast #supernatural cast x reader #sam winchester #jensen ackles #misha collins #alex calvert #Spn cast x reader #cast x reader #reader insert #supernatural #celeb!reader #famous!reader #actress!reader #celebrity!reader

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