let's talk about the way we talk about sigma

and i’m not just saying this because i’m a hater or because i find the woobification of characters annoying (although i am, and i do, but that’s neither here nor there) but i AM saying it cuz it’s no longer mildly annoying so much as it is just hurtful and exhausting due to the casual ableism it perpetuates. whether it’s consciously or not, it’s there and i’m pointing it out cuz a lot of people probably don’t even realize what they’re saying (i hope) so i wanna spell it out crystal clear.

*granted, these are sentiments i’ve seen far more often on twitter or tiktok than on here (and i know complaining about stupid takes on either site is like going to the beach and getting mad about all the sand, but bear with me) but it’s ABSOLUTELY something that i see a lot on here too and i'm starting to get incredibly fed up with it all. someone's gotta fuckin say it.

im going to put the majority of this under a readmore because i've got a lot to say on the topic but here's the long and short of it:

you guys have GOT to stop acting like sigma is a poor little helpless confused manipulated innocent little uwu baby. like, for real. stop saying that shit. stop lamenting about “waahhh poor science granpa doesn’t know where he is or what’s happening around himmm 🥺🥺🥺”. stop acting like he’s being held captive or abused by talon despite evidence to the contrary so you can make your little “uwu i can’t wait for overwatch to save him and Fix Him uwuwuw” posts. and for the love of all that’s holy, if i see one more person say or imply that he was better off when he was being forcibly institutionalized than he is now working for talon, i’m going to start fucking attacking people with my teeth like a chimpanzee.

it's incredibly fucking weird and alienating for literally anyone who experiences even a fraction of the things yall are pointing out as proof of his incompetence. and before any of you hit me with the "oh it's not that deep 🙄" im gonna tell you right now that i dont care and im going to be mad about it anyway cuz its my party and i can post whatever i want.

ANYWAY!!

to continue my point, not only is it weird and infantilizing and demeaning and belittling to those of us who deal with literally any of the myriad of things going on with him that i’ve seen people point to as proof that he ‘needs to be fixed’ — memory lapses, time loss, dissociation, auditory hallucinations, disordered thought, just straight up being autistic, hyperfocus and/or complete lack of focus, panic attacks or meltdowns, i cannot overstate how many of the ‘weird’ things he does are just autistic traits so i’m gonna say it a second time for good measure — and those are all just things that i personally have in common with him (which is part of the reason i’m as mad about this as i am to make this post, but i digress).

to single out these things, all of which are completely reasonable for someone who is autistic, who is traumatized, who suffered through a prolonged period of forced confinement, and/or who has literal brain damage, and NONE of which are nearly as tragic and doomed as people are making them out to be, that’s all bad enough on its own!

but to point out these traits and then turn around and use them to color every single interaction he has with another character, every single thing he says, and tie it back to his traaaagic broken mind and how he’s clearly losing his grip on reality just feels… insanely othering in a way that’s really exhausting.

like, for fucks sake, a solid 80% of his character interactions could be lifted near verbatim from conversations i’ve had in real life with my friends, family, coworkers, you name it, all of which were friendly and usually in jest — hell, 9/10 times when i let out a random non sequitur or lose my train of thought or forget what i’m doing, nobody even bats a fucking eye! they sure as hell don't accuse whoever i’m talking to of abusing me because they expressed mild annoyance at my bad joke.

i’ve genuinely seen someone get all worked up and construe his one interaction with sombra where he comments on her tendency to disappear and reappear in odd places as evidence that he’s got dementia and is slipping away from reality altogether… and not, yknow, a nod to her fucking cloaking ability and translocator and the fact that she uses both very frequently just for the hell of it. that one still fucking baffles me i'm sorry. if i hadn't seen it with my own eyes i'd honestly think it was a joke. like. cmon now

another thing that makes it even worse is that most of this is also just…. not even grounded in canon. if this was the way blizz was writing him, it’d be one thing. it would still be shitty and ableist, but blizzard handling their oooh spooky scary mentally ill character badly is about as surprising as the sun rising every morning. i can't say i wouldn't still be upset to see people continuing to perpetuate it, but i wouldn't be AS mad, i guess.

but SO. MANY. of the popular takes on his character are either never concretely stated or outright contradicted by his ingame dialogue and interactions and it drives me insane!!! idk WHERE y’all are getting this shit but so many people are reaching so hard to make him a tragic sad uwuwuw glass bones and paper skin pathetic little meow meow that they’re going out of their way to misinterpret source material so they can shout from the rooftops about how sad and pathetic and unaware they think people like me must be.

i keep seeing people talk about how he probably has no idea that talon is a terrorist group, that he doesn’t know what talon IS, or that he doesn’t even know that he WORKS for talon, and it’s starting to go from mildly annoying to infuriating. this shit has literally no basis in canon aside from conjecture based on the fact that he’s Known to be mentally ill!! i don't see even half as many people getting this all up in arms about widow, who we KNOW FOR A FACT was literally kidnapped and experimented on and brainwashed by talon. like. that's her WHOLE THING. meanwhile sig literally just works there and people are clamoring for ovw to come """""rescue"""""" him as if hes like, a lab animal or something instead of a grown man who happens to not be particularly bothered by the fact that he works for talon.

this is something that's addressed in game MULTIPLE TIMES - he’d far prefer to watch an ant crawl on the ceiling than listen to s76 trying to ‘talk sense into him’, not because he can’t hear him or anything either, it’s pretty clear from his tone and cadence that he’s actively choosing to ignore him. when baptiste points out the fact that he’s fully capable of leaving talon if he wanted to, he doesn’t deny it or act confused or like that’s a strange thing to say, he just seems a little bemused that someone would think he WANTS to leave. yeah, he sure could— but why would he bother?

he's not "totally unaware of what he's doing" in the fucking slightest - hell, i'd argue that his new map-exclusive lines and interactions prove that he's MORE grounded now than he was in ovw1. yes, he gets a little confused on occasion when he can't quite remember the last time he's been somewhere. (memory lapses are just kind of like that. i had several while writing this post, in fact! it just fucking happens sometimes. it's really not the end of the world. frustrating, yeah, but i promise you we can manage just fine).

i guess the question i'm asking is: is it really all that difficult for to fathom that he might just... WANT to be there? that he might just straight up not care what talon is up to, so long as he's able to keep doing his research as he sees fit??

and for the record, before anyone takes this and runs with it and we lose the plot of this post, i am NOT SAYING that the very idea of wanting him to leave talon is #problematic or anything. i dont care, really. do whatever you want. what i do care about is just like.... being mindful about what we're saying and WHY we're saying it. it's reaching a point where people are somehow managing to look at the ass backwards already ableist as hell decisions blizz has already made with him and decided "hey, i bet i can find a way to make that even worse!"

20.05.23

my stepdad's mad at me bc he wanted to watch the cannes festival on tv but i don't know anyone there. like okay there's 10 old white guys in bowties on the red carpet. good for them i guess. i don't care about cinema, im sorry. and so we got into an argument about how instead of watching ~films~, i watch dumb shit on social media. which is like okay true. but also ~films~ are boring idk. if i want to relax, i'll look at memes on my phone. if i want to learn something, i'll read a book, listen to a podcast or watch a video essay. but watching movies or shows is just like not my thing idk, i don't enjoy watching things 🤷🏻‍♀️ (and caring about actors is on a whole different level like i can't even imagine)

so anyway i was a bit frustrated bc at the end of the argument it felt like my stepdad was dismissing all of my interests. like whatever he enjoyed and cared about was objectively good and worth your time, but my interests are stupid and immature and lowbrow or whatever. but anyway, no big deal, it was just typical family bickering and "young people be on their phones" kinda stuff.

but then i started thinking about how it's frustrating that not a lot of people find things i find interesting interesting. like B never cared about anything i liked. he mocked my music taste, would roll his eyes whenever id tell him about sth i found funny, never showed any interest in taking part in my hobbies... it was the worst. like am i that lame? because i take pleasure in a lot of things but nobody ever cares.

so i was v angry when i went to bed. and i had the worst dream ever about B!!!

in my dream i bumped into him on the street and it was dark out and i was like "omg ive been meaning to contact you! how are you let's get a drink". and so we took a walk together and it turned out that he was selling my nudes for bitcoin! and i was like woah what the fuck. and he spammed my phone with unflattering pictures of me sucking his dick and he was like "yeah that's how i make money, there's nothing you can do, the pictures are mine".

and i was so beyond disgusted. i was like fuck man, how am i supposed to have any good memories of the relationship left? like i had already come to terms with the fact that it wasn't magical or romantic or whatever and it was painful enough to realise that the relationship was mediocre at best. and that our trip to sarajevo or to the mountains or whatever was just bad. and now he's selling these pictures of me as if our relationship meant nothing?

anyway i woke up feeling horrible. and had to reassure myself that the only sexy picture B has of me is the one of me sleeping with my tittie out. and that's not like blackmail material. but yeah no, that dream really ruined my day today.

hello! can i have a cake please? i’m an ace female, 5’3”, and have a short lil afro that i dyed blonde. i kinda have a biker aesthetic?? i’m v athletic n love weightlifting, playing basketball, n playing (american) football! humble brag but i have those girl abs. 👀 also super into the arts?? HUGE literature nerd, def one of those kids who goes ALL IN when you have to act out shakespeare. tragically like and am good at writing essays, no joke :// absolutely suck at anything stem-related tho i suck at expressing myself verbally so i don’t tend to talk a whole bunch, even when i’m comfortable. i’m v devoted to those close to me tho, like i stop n drop everything as soon as they need help n i would 100% follow them to the end of the earth. i’m a bit like the quiet bodyguard ig ✌🏼😌 i’m lowkey a HUGE simp but i struggle with vulnerability™ so i bully n playfight w/ my crushes 24/7 instead of being normal fhskfkskd it’s so bad. but literally just bully me back and i will go “😳😳” i am a MESS n hopefully this isn’t too long??? hope you have a good day love ✨

🍰 for Anon

Romantic Matchup

Tendou Satori

How yall met

Ok small disclaimer

Tendou is 100% a theater kid

So

When the school was putting on a production for one of his favorite disney movies

Of course he had to try out for a part

What play where they doing you asl?

Beauty and the beast

Honestly tendou wasn't shocked when he got the role of the beast

In fact he kinda expected it

But honestly he wasn't mad about it

He thought getting one of the leading roles was super cool

Then he saw who his co star was gonna be

Someone take a random guess

Its you

You had got casted as Belle

You guys had a blast practicing your roles together

You guys hung out a lot more just so you could practice together

And oh boy did it pay off on opening night

Yall both played your roles perfectly

If the audience didn't know any better they would say you both actually loved each other

…

Well apparently they didn't know any better

You both actually had realized your feeling for eachother when you were rehearsing the final scene

But yall thought you would keep your relationship a secret until after the play was over

What they love about you

He loves how your always there for him

This man could be on the other side of the planet

But if he says he needs you

Your there within seconds

What kind of witchcraft

Oh and if anyone dares trash talk your mans

Bad things tend to happen

No tendou bullies on your watch

Honestly he fucks with how athletic you are

But more often than not this turns into a very competitive thing

Im sorry but this little shit is always one upping you

So he sees you being athletic as a challenge to his athleticism yk

Yeah…

But on the bright side tendous never played better in his games

Favorite things to do together

He loves loves loves to play fight with you

yeah ...playfight

Ngl one of yall get injured every time this happens

But does that stop you

Absolutely not

Play Fights are fought with anything from pillows to just your bare hands

Now He gets how this is how you show love

But do you love him THAT much to leave bruises all over his arms

Random Hc

You said you have trouble with verbal expression?

Don't worry about that with tendou

This guess monster right here seems to always know how your feeling and why

So don't stress about that

He likes to act out random scenes of plays with you

Or he likes to sing random songs from musicals with you

One time you guys sang hamilton in 7 minutes right in the middle of the halls

His favorite disney movie is beauty and the beast because it takes place in france

And Yes tendou kins the beast

Ushijima scolded tendou for getting into a fight when he saw the bruises on his arms

Little did he know it was you who gave him those :|

Overall Aesthetic

Theater Kids

Songs-

Phantom of the Opera

Guns and ships

Rewrite the stars

Candy Store

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

IM HERE

AGH it’s fine it’s fine🥺🥺🥺 I understand though, it is hard to keep in check and update yourself sometimes!!

I’ll let Kiwi know😌 it’s her little heart is truly amazing🥰 Love that too!! Kinda jealous I also want to have a heart on my nose lol😂

Omg😂 maybe you should double check on the birth time hehe~ I’m not too familiar with Leo risings, but I feel like that would suit you!! I see Leo placements as the sun and you just radiate that for me✨🌞

Exactly!! Grass isn’t always greener in other places :// Ahh, school has been going a bit up and down for me. I was in school last week and it was soooo stressful ugh... I had a quite a lot of exams (and I had barely studied oops-)😅 Expect for that it was fun! We had great weather so it was still pleasant going out know :))

This week has been very slow tbh and I’ve woken up so tired even with the sun shining in the morning and even if I slept well during the night ;(( though!! I have no exams or tests or essays for this week, so I’ve had a chance to just relax after online school is over every day😭💕 Been trying to write some and it’s going somewhere at least🥳

YUNHO WAS TRULY AMAZING!!! As you said, he is such a skilled dancer and performer and it’s so cool to see how with his heigh adapts to the choreo and to the others!! I can then understand Yunho had you on a hold today🤣 GAHAHAH “#makeithurtless” made me laugh (sorry I’m laughing at your pain gshshs- and I totally feel you after the shit Seonghwa and Hongjoong pulled WHEW)

I’m feeling so hyped after the performance!!!😭 Such a cool stage, absolutely love the concept, the outfits were great and the song and dancing too AHHHH! I question every time how ateez manage to become better and better??

Makes me happy to know you’re good!! Not so fun hearing about your job though :// But you just gotta keep pushing through🥺💕

It’s been a relatively good week though!! I’m proud of myself of the amounts of writing I have done🥰 I didn’t have time nor the motivation to write last week :((

You sent this just as I was walking out the door 😂

BUT I’M HERE!!

That would be so cute!! Since Kiwi is so cute, by default her owner is cute too. With or without a heart-shaped birthmark on the nose ❤️ 💖😉

Ohhhh~ 🥺 I have and I even checked with my mom to see if it was PM or AM and she said I took forever to come, so AM 🤣. I radiate sun energy to you 🥺☺️?? I feel that on the internet I could say and do a lot more especially if my face is not connected to closely to the blog. So maybe that’s where that comes from. Definitely feel as if my ego is growing a little too large 😂. However, in real life, I’m so timid and not... commanding? You definitely give off water moon vibes to me, even if Aries might be fighting for dominance at times. 😂

Oh! 😳 Well I am glad that you were able to find the silver lining in all of that. Good weather, sometimes, is all it take to make an okay day into a great day!! Sometimes, it’s just the little things that you have to notice.

That sounds like such a nice time, aside from the fact that you’ve been waking up tired and that the week was slow. It sounds as if your body is taking the necessary time to recharge. Oh!! I noticed your WIP list! So, is your writing geared towards ff or is it academic writing? I am happy that you are able to find some time and make progress with your writing!! ☺️☺️☺️

Like- YUNHO~ 😩😭🥺😩😭🥺 that man is spinning circles around me and I cannot be mad about it. It’s okay! Laugh at my pain!! 😭😂😭😂😭 I am in Yunho Loving Hours 💖❤️💕 until further notice. THEM TWO!! THEY AIN’T INNOCENT EITHER. I’m coming for them!! Like who allowed them!?!?

It is definitely a good hype song, for sure. I absolutely loved everything about it! Good that you mentioned it because it is like they improved since their last stage. It just got better! Like how?! The artistic design/prop. crew and stylists really are putting in the work behind the scenes for this show, and ATEEZ are executing these concepts perfectly. Which works for them, because they debuted with a concept and are amazing stage performers.

Get this: This students that kept putting his hands down his pants (as in hands on his skin below the waist, his genitals) touched my hair and I wanted to cry so badly right then and there but I was feeding someone so I had to keep it professional 😭.

I am proud of you too!! 💕💕 Keep up the good work! 🥺🙏🏾💖

so a couple months ago i relistened to w359 and made a 18000 word document while doing so containing iconic quotes, my reactions, feelings, et cetera. heres some highlights with varying amounts of context. (theres lowkey spoilers for the whole series btw)

""""i empathize too much""""

crazy how i still vividly remember walking outside [my old job] and to starbucks while listening to the spider ep... trauma

i mean i dont love it but it makes me feel things

GABRIEL THATS TOO ON THE NOSE

"let me have my badass space chick victory cocktail"

god like i AM team what wrong with handcuffs but I WOULD NOT HESITATE to kill hilbert for hera

the girlssss are fightinggg

THE SAD W359 MUSIC IS KILLING ME

like memoria who maxwell who jk jk

i love you renee minkowski marry me

local idiot's heart is in the right place

HARPOOOOOOONSSSS

lovelace lovelace lovelace loveLACE LOVELACE

"maybe she's some kind of clone thing" EIFFEL... this is day 1!!!

i hate these self sacrificial idiots

no no no not this music again ill cry

yall are so emotionally stunted it fucking hurts but damn if you dont care

literally how are they still alive

i want to hug her so much omg

alan rody shut the FUCK up im crying

rip zach valenti's throat

face the death reality via math

jacobi being a piece of shit

maxwell said lets kill hilbert rights

this is a kepler hate blog

minkowski thinking her emotions dont matter to the mission oh ho ho

"youre gonna straighten up" cutter they cant theyre not straight

maxwell and jacobi show up and blow up lads

"and you should really be more careful with your queen" KEPLER WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

wolf 359 stop making me stan these literally terrible people

FUNZO FUNZO FUNZO

i am caring about men tonight lads

theyre both awful sure go ahead have history

hilbert you interrupted their emotional moment they wouldve had a MOMENT

hera said im gay

ohhhh nooo interpersonal conflict makes me sad

hug minkowski rn

FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC jacobi and maxwell are iconic

minkowski how did you not kill him

how much do yall use the words "good enough" and "cant"

"are you an alien" GOD the Hints

"one of our... sexier jobs" vs "this is gonna said less sexy after that"

eiffel stop cockblocking them

y'all's choice of pronouns IS illuminating

PROTECT HERA AT ALL COSTS

aw eiffel... minkowski... communication is KEY

oh yeah THATS what the psi wave regulator is for.... SURE

hilbert read the room

JACOBI you can't just describe minkowski like that without giving me a heart attack

how many times have all these bitches almost died

SORRY ANYTHING THEY SAY I LOSE IT

oh minkowski finally flipped (VALID)

oh wait that fact isnt fun at all and im literally crying

LIKE sometimes you save someone's life at great personal risk only to kill her a little while later

minkowski cries to “back to before” from ragtime

i feel to many things about the gals here idk what to tell you i love them thats the problem

its gay and it hurts!

lovelace laughing at people who can and will kill her... hot

OH WERE STARTING LOVELACES SELF SACRIFICE ALREADY

they let lovelace say FUCK

OH WAIT NO I FORGOT ITS WORSE

THANKS FOR MURDERING ME WITH YOUR TEARY ANGRY VOICE

ouchie anyways gay or no but also gay

hilarious and sad at the same time?

MAXWELL dont be a bitch... i expect this from jacobi and honestly i actually expect this from maxwell too but i dont like it

NO NOT THIS MUSIC

BROTP BROTP BROTP

i cant say anything else im too busy crying

UGH I COULD WRITE ESSAYS ON MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS THE MESSAGE THE TAKEAWAY BROADLY THE PERSONAL EMOTIONAL ANGUISH THE DESIRE TO HUG HERA ITS

im mad but thank you... all of you... explain... 

stop stop stop im literally so tense gone straight from sobbing to freeze instinct

GOD I HATE ALL THESE SURVIVALS GUILT IDIOTS

OH theyre all about uncertainty... the what ifs... okay... ouch ouch ouch

give everyone awards for bolero

eris are you gay

she said gay rights and AI rights

like i know i know we been knew but goddard really is so awful

Hera stop narrating Lovelace’s ongoing existential crisis

HOW IS THIS NOT GAY (I know how it’s not gay but. Let me have this)

KEPLER stop giving Lovelace insecurities and existential crises

Team back off lovelace for the win

like not to be dramatic but her arc is beautiful

oh boy thats my girlsssss

THATS FLIRTING MINKOWSKI

god i love that concern for your gf keep it up minkowski

COMMUNICATION? WITH THIS CREW? BOLD

GOD angrey hera is great

you know hera is having the time of her life witnessing it

eiffel you just ruined their romantic moment

minkowski is gonna kill them

a much better gayer more altruistic light

WE’RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT COMMUNICATION

WAIT I WAS BEING CANON DAMN I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CREATIVE AND PERHAPS OOC BUT IM IN THE CLEAR I GUESS

god hera has needed to snap at eiffel for so long

i can already feel myself about to get hit with the tears... the emotions

that shit hits different renee

The implications that Goddard like destroyed global warming omfg

it’s the moral grayness babeyyy

when it hits you with minkowski's shaky sigh first thing you know its gonna hit different

MINKOWSKI i need you to. love yourself as much as i love you

GOD the mutual concern they always have for each other is touching whether or not you think its gay. i think its gay

HERA WOULD YOU ASK A COW TO NOT BE A COW

oh of COURSE they cut coms first

lovelace is man, butterfly is quote, it says "is this flirting"

jacobi i need you to chill

but jacobiiiii thats lovelaces schtick

oh eiffel... you fucking idiot who gets really lucky sometimes

this game of chicken where theyre both chickens and kepler doesnt know any of that and each of them only know half

minkowski said im an ethics teacher now

who taught minkowski empathy in high stress situations?

yeah so i stay hitting the nail on the head

“kepler SHUT UP” is what brings everyone together

this is, como se dice.... kinda gay

this statement does not bode well for that

“Maybe less talking to yourself” he says to himself

ugh, to be Pop Culture Man™️

RACHEL i love you even tho I also hate you

Rachel if you make one more hand joke I’ll lose my mind

HER NAME!!!! IS HERA!!!! And I love her!!

i have a vivid mental image of post-series eiffel doing stand up like chris fleming style 

"my crew has made it very clear through a series of looks and gestures that one more slip up and i am out, thats it, so im taking this job very seriously"

"minkowski is very overprotective in a weird, erratic way, like when your seat belt randomly locks and its like i appreciate what youre trying to do but im going 4mph in a drive way."

"so when something like this happens you have to at least consider going away for a long time and living on a cursed space station"

"you know how when maxwell and hera are talking ive never felt less needed, you know, like ‘cause you guys would be totally happy alone on a rock in the middle of a lake"

"this is the kind of body you look at and go he'd probably be ok in space without a space suit"

the whole "theater kids" video is actually him going off about minkowski

minkowski is too swole for her own good

jacobi im gonna need you to take the redemption arc more seriously

i love my crazy crazy bitches

this FUCKING music

GOD HOW DOES PRYCE JUST ALWAYS GET WORSE

she just like mutilated that man he is doa absolutely destroyed one hit ko

can you tone down the gay, sweetie

you did it you broke rachel and Goddard down to their bare essentials

GOSH shes so AWKWARD 

so damn jacobi was just IMMEDIATELY ride or die for maxwell

this is too much for my poor baby heart

pryce & carter literally are just like lets do eugenics, lets do genocide

when hera says ill pull a yall and sacrifice myself for minkowski and lovelace 

god like cant believe KEPLER got a redemption arc (well not arc but you know)

ah yes the most tragic scenes all take place at once :)

I HAD TO STOP LISTENING TO BRAVE NEW WORLD CAUSE IT MADE ME TOO CRAZYYYY

THE SCRIPT SAID IT NOT ME

i love space moms!

this fucking music ALAN RODY IM SUING FOR DAMAGES

like the document also does have a lot of like deep thoughts and meta and parallels and discussion of motivations but this is just fun random things i said

ive got some Opinions and i dont wanna get myself mad 4 separate times to make separate posts so like heres a masterpost of everything ive made myself mad about in the past 20 minutes.

-im so fucking tired of transmisogyny and like actually transphobia in general but whatever it sucks that like every piece of media has some form of it and its like its 2019 how is the joke “man in dress think he woooomahn” not tired like how do people keep greenlighting it.  its stupid and ugly and i hate it i hate it so fucking much like can you get better jokes i wish there were a point in time where theres a collective Woke Millennial Hivemind that fucking massacres unfunny ass transmisogynists.  every time i have to cringe through a “excuse me did you call me sir” “oh apologies maam are you gonna get the Surgerie done” in a normal human context i die on the inside and also explode

-i think it should be illegal to force organized religion on your kids (but like in a non-religious persecution way like not in real life illegal i just wish it never existed) and in fact if kids are sheltered from shit that doesnt hurt them like homosexuality and scientific studies on the world around them i think they should be sheltered from religion.  religion causes a fuckton of mental and developmental disorders (typically emotional and psychiatric) that are damn near fucking impossible to recover from because youre always gonna be afraid of god or hell or whatever the fuck.  like not even in a christianity sense (theyre typically the worst about this and i say this from personal experience but like, idk, ive seen it from things like....not christianity....) i really truly believe religion should be kept from children until they can develop their own personalities and states of being because basing ur life around a pre-existing moral code of What Makes You Good is harmful and in most cases kids wind up wilding out and putting themselves in danger because they feel trapped and constantly under the watchful eye of karma or god or whatever.  like i really cannot think of a single religion where the basis is “just chill and promise to be cool” without some kind of punishment existing whether it’s “you’ll have to pay for this in your next life or in future interactions” and i think it’s just reaaaalllllyyyyy harmful for kids to experience like i dont think it teaches responsibility i think it teaches fear of mistakes because regardless of how merciful you as an adult think your god is, kids will not think like that.  like idk.  im sure theres good religions that handle this better but speaking from my standpoint i never found a religion that made me feel safe and Human until i got older.  even now that im like a buddhist im still like “yeah but what if this religion based in being cool and kind winds up fucking me over because karma doesnt think im the same person i think i am”.  idk im like traumatized from christianity tho so this isnt a good opinion for other religions so i guess this is about christianity sorry guys im not deleting this whole paragraph though.

-i think relationships in media need to fucking get away from “crazy insane medical professional who tortures people”.  i dont think i need to write an essay on this.  i dont understand why people keep making this archetype when it usually winds up being thinly veiled fetish torture porn for the first person this particular character interacts with and doesnt kill.  like maybe its okay for strictly horror films but i really cannot wrap my head around why people keep using this trope, it’s lazy and uninspired and feels like the biggest cop-out of a character.  like, you can make someone with baseline similar characterization but to put them in a place of forged authority to do whatever is just uh.....lazy....and it winds up being really gross really quick.  this isnt strictly abt cicciolata or w/e his fucking name is but hes the first character beyond like idk jigsaw that i can think of so this is all his fault now.  fuck you you stupid ugly bitch.  be in a horror movie if you want to act like this.  god.  it is like better than Doctor Man With Psychosisisisissis!!!!!!!11111!  because at least theyre being ugly as fuck on their own but ohhh mannnnnn you guys went to like.  editors and whatever and they thought it was a good idea?  we have to destroy all media and start over because these new archetypes SUCK.

-this kinda goes with my christianity rant but like i think....like i wish some form of black mirror existed where kids were independent from their parents personal opinions and there was like a thing that you could see when you were a kid that says “THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE THIS IS AN OPINION” when ur parents say some dumb racist/phobic shit because like literally parents are socially-acceptably brainwashing their children into having the same ugly ass outdated opinions and it fucking sucks.  i dont think kids should have to listen to their parents opinions i wish there was a cool fucking Opinion Free Zone where nobody can tell you a religion is wrong or a race or identity is wrong because fucking yikes.

-also i wish every employer was like lgbt friendly and not “at will”??? idk how its 2019 and we still have fucking people getting fired for zero reason other than theyre not cishet and their boss like has some irrelevant problem like theyre a cheap fucking asshole who doesnt want to pay them like i wish every employee had a Book of Rights thats non-negotiable and if you as an employer overstep those rights you get murdered like im being for real like if youre a fucking piece of shit i want you dead why would you exist in a capitalist state where you have to have a fucking job to live and then fire someone for a reason that isnt real.  fuck.

Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

-

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

Miss Peregrine’s Movie Reactions

I finally watched this movie on a flight last weekend.

***WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS*** NOT JUST FOR THE MOVIE, I REFERENCE THINGS FROM ALL THREE BOOKS AS WELL anything with various *** marks is something I didn’t fact check, so I apologize if I am actually wrong about any of those

Sorry that this is so freaking long, but I had issues Also, these are the things I wanted to say to my screen, so I don’t have context for them, sorry

Short Version: I thought the movie itself was well done, but it’s an awful adaption

I didn’t know Georgia Pemberton was in this Opening credits music cuts off oddly Who is this chick driving him Abe doesn’t sound Polish ?? Did it really take that long to get to his house? Aight Sam Jackson I miss Spike (I know that isn’t his name) - like, I don’t think this chick has a gun on her Chick = Shelley Oh she does But it’s a .38 not a .44*** so… I feel like this happened rather fast? Don’t think that’s a letter opener either Find Emerson - it’s “find the old man, get to the bird in the loop” or whatever 1943???? Not 1940 Who tf is Emerson Told him what, we haven’t even been told about the stories ????? WTF is that. That is NOT a hollowghast A hollow is only like 8-10 feet not 3 f king stories (unless I misread the books) ——-side note: I always subconsciously pictured the hollows as something (from some movie or something) that I know they didn’t actually look like buttttt) Who’s this shrink. Shouldn’t she be Sam Jackson - what? Case. CLOSED - sorry AWE “everything’s already been discovered” - iconic!!! Tikrisko?? -  Yakov!! NO Jake doesn’t see the pictures until they’re going through the house ?? What is this He doesn’t know what Miss Peregrine’s name is nor that she can turn into a bird He’s not supposed to know the names Bronwyn is older No Emma can create fire, olive floats THIS IS OLIVE Nope, Alma found him. He wasn’t sent this. His family died Doesn’t know what hollows look like. Finds that out when Abe dies All these Jakes are adorable Can they not say Nazis? Because he’s being very nondescriptive The surprise party ong Why are there twins. I’m uncomfortable oh my gosh the essays, at least they did something right Shouldn’t the letter be from Emma ugh So that’s Goland? what the heck Oh now they bring up the birdwatching The doctor isn’t supposed to know about the home*** Cairnholm - good Nope I’m yelling Not supposed to see the bird until they’re in the room And his father isn’t supposed to know Alma Ugh 19 minutes in and I’m screaming I relate to Jake on a spiritual level Whet Defeats the whole sneaking away trust ugh He’s so tiny YAS he shoulda said piss instead of priest but the  rap was nearly verbatim* What is this river? Where’s the sheep shack Wondrous Exactly how i pictured it Where’s the old man Oh that’s how Emerson falls in Jake is supposed to have his own room ugh Oh so he is sneaky But where’s the cairn AND THE OLD MAN the twins aren’t introduced until the second book Enoch’s lair is supposed to be in the basement -The kids and the hole. It’s iconic They’re not supposed to address him Whet I hate this I don’t even know where to begin the twins shouldn’t exist And Millard shouldn’t have clothes on There’s just so many issues This is not a bog UGH this is not wrong it’s sickening the twins are pissing me off oh my gosh -Tim just fell in love with them, didn’t he Okay, the cairn is not how I imagined it but I’ll live They literally didn’t even address the priest hole This is 20s music not 40s ong Goodness Oh now he stripped Why is Millard like 7 And he hasn’t even formally met Emerson yet what is going on He’s not supposed to be taken He’s not supposed have this much information yet Whet Olive and Emma’s powers are switch gosh This like isn’t Yea Alma? Kinda appreciate it though like #relatable And Enoch is supposed to be much younger I give up. I’m going to take a break until Goland arrives … if he arrives GEORGIA IS FIONA OH MY GOSH. I CAN OVERLOOK THE HAIR BECAUSE I LOVE HER Imbrin NOT Imbrine - book 3 literally tells you this Now I’m on break 30 minutes later…Jk: Yes Enoch/Victor Hi bird man - you’re ANOTHER new actor “Air - it does what I want” - what does that even mean olive. I mean Emma Since olive’s supposed to be like 10 the photographs At least some are taken from the books Baron - so like forget Jack/Bentham Guess there won’t be sequels rip Hollows can’t enter loops I’m still annoyed by this At least they got the tentacle right Actually it was controlling them but you don’t know that yet Oh, so they ARE  called hollows - good Disaster of 1908 - wait. Is the experiment address in the first book**** Because if not this means that Burton has read the other books and there should not be this many issues Oh so Burton Didn’t acknowledge the immortality first Well it’s the souls in the first book But the third book acknowledged the eyes so… THEREFOR there should be more hollows than that jeez Disaster of 1908 - Siberia - ANYTHING ??? Oh, second book ref So bird man’s not one of the identities? Jk he probs is Yup whey No. That’s not it. There are several issues Yea? Hollows. Can’t. Enter. Loops The twins are annoying me Is it a hint that there won’t be a sequel Whey IT CANT ARRIVE HERE GAH Alma my bby This would be so much better if it was Jack cuz I love any good sibling showdown Or, are they setting up a second? but they can’t with the whole baron thing because if he’s not her brother, he can’t disguise himself as a falcon Miss Avocet is still with them ?? *sings* she should have been kidnapped toooo That’ll surely screw up the space/time continuum There we go Wait. Did it just eat her?? So much for a sequel That thing shouldn’t even be there Oh wait, yes it can cuz it’s an evolved one. Right!!!!!!!!! If they’re not doing a sequel, they better not kill Fiona and Claire now* awe they never got to bury Victor’s body… Ugh, but the freezer scene is iconic No lighthouse scene either Wait, there’s an half hour left ?? And why Blackpool and not London - what are you doing with your life Really The tiny boat though !!! Goodness I’m so mad Right, of course, let’s steal the sunken CRUISE SHIP No she won’t, because they’re in 1940 But it’s 1940 1943, way after the disaster of 1908 so it doesn’t work that way You literally CREATED plot holes Bloody hell You’re literally wrong Aughck Still saying Ymbryne wrong… What are you doing So no other movies… rip #salty Oh it’s blackpool instead of london because it’s closer to wales. gotcha Oh look, they reference London and the loop in the tube —but not the one in ST. PAUL’S ya know, WHERE THEY FIND THE TWINS ————-AKA the key inspiration for my crossover fic that’ll never happen Where’d everyone else go The story book is one of the best parts of the series, c'mon Whey What are those *eye roll* SIEZE ONE YAKOV and this is books two She literally left those shoes at the home what is this inconsistency ??? Sorry, no sympathy, Malthus That sounds like your problem So unnecessary Such a Burton Movie-esque score jeez Actually LAUGHED at the hollow getting hit by a car goodness Well, that’s one way to kill a Wight Wait, was it ever acknowledged that they’re called wights? Oh, of course, skeletons What is this music I just want Jake to shoot Baron What the f YAKOV They got the black blood thing* —-that was a thing, right I’m over it oh poor you Eye-dly ??? I hate myself Why are they turning into animals ??? What is Horace’s peculiarity supposed to be in this because it’s like wrong ??? Death by flowers - I appreciate it Nope Cuz Enoch just carries hearts on him wait, that’s actually true nvm WHERE did that elephant come from so the twins are medusa? cause I just thought their scream was piecing Cuz then that stone thing’s so not their pecu- I give up Oh, Fiona and Claire are little so let’s kill Olive WHICH IS IRONIC BECAUSE SHES LIKE 10 IN THE BOOKS oh, true love’s kiss wakes the dead. OKAY I’m so done I don’t even know what’s happening anymore Was that supposed to be funny? YAS Alma Hopefully it’s not Alma though Why is she blue ? I just processed that Why would he stop him Oh right shape shifting Ugh IM PECULIAR yo. You’re opportunity was right there WAIT IS HE CONTROLLING IT but does it count if it’s a wight’s eyes Like, why would a hollow attack a wight UNLESS JAKE MADE IT So, no one’s dead? but how is he supposed to get home - you don’t have an Ymbryme !! Wait Alma’s alive nvm So are they gonna kiss or what Well okay then Aren’t they in 1943 though ?? Nice timing Shouldn’t he have missed calls from his dad? Why is Abe alive? Oh, right. blah Why I just I’m cringing No, you’re supposed to say “but you know WHEN they are” Goodness Right of course. So he’s just gonna live in 1943 now okay Do his parents like even know ANYTHING Are they dead? Sure okay Wow right LONDON Oh now they kiss It’s titanic I love Georgia Damn, it was Alma Why isn’t she with them, she’s their Ymbryne Oh they just needed the dramatic shot Mary Poppins is a rogue Ymbryne Crossover fic - it’s happening I actually started writing it when I reread the books over winter break, but haven’t committed to it because of ALNF… What is this credits music ?? I just don’t even know what to say I think I would have enjoyed it if I never read the books but since I did… AND NO SEQUEL the whole Devil’s Acre sequence is sick (and I also love Sharon) and I also just wrote an essay on these books sooo

Well, there. Here are my thoughts on Tim Burton’s Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

If you actually read all these, mad props. Shoot me an ask and let’s chat about it

thbleugh but what bich is gonna fight me for me

idk im just gonna rant again, im sorry if youre on mobile just like, give it a big flick and fly past this i tried i actually have a read more this time

anywy im feelin shitty an dumb n weird an its not fun?? like do we try categorize these feelings: 

1. i have 3 days to pass a course and all the course work i failed to do in fucking march 

1.b. all those emotions to do w unis great! but also ive been solow and sad and dysfunctional its not rly even funny, grades dropping many levels in half a year like. sure grades dont define my life but considering how easy it is for me to get those grades to see them consistently and kinda dramatically dropping isnt helping (even though like i actively know i got lower grades bc i didnt fucking attend class or take in any knowledge. i realise hahah im making a psychology reference bc im a smart psychology uni student.... hmh oh yeah we, we learned about this, i dont know it. my peers do. oh. oh i didnt, i didnt learn anything. oh no. im here to learn abt the subject im supposedly loving and thats the best fit for me bc like hell id be an artist. anyway i have a lot of shit down here i havent figured out who to talk it out to. the mental health advisor didnt have the time for it rly and w counsellors its been different topics but now were in summer and id rather spend the spare money i can rattle off my parents on ballet than a psyhc i could see 2 times best. im just gonna have to wait till septembet bc my dumb white wall subscitption expired too damnti. ugh im just, okay lets move on

2. inadequacy thats not justified? like it is obvs bc it bothers me and i know i can do better and i am better than this all and i clearly have smth stopping me. while to others im doing just fine if not better than them who are really struggling and kinda dont have sympathy for me who goes ‘ugh im doing so badly and struggling, i mean i write perfect essays in one go but its just so hard to do thattt and i know im smarter and better than this’ esp bc say putting words together in that way is difficult on them and not been good at school

2.b. like being good at school but noot being good now, classic phenomenon or has my school system always been the softes most coddliest and where in the normal or worse school 1would have performed average and maybe learned to study and the worth of it to do better, ive just been good enough that caring became so unnecessary i need to waste my time on pointless but constant other things. like youtube and rpchats. constant monotone stimulation for hours. andhours. 

2.c. asking for help bc im struggling w actually getting over the fuzzy and struggle and self hate and blegh feelings to do some work thatd allow me to pass the coursein my 3 days of the very last extended time. and then realising, ah either youve slaved over your work and stressed and panicked to have it good and on time and have no pity left for me and my foolishness, or you never got to uni/struggled to go to uni and think im wasting my opportunity by being an ungrateful lazy piece of hsit. and i know ia m. and 2.d. its the reason why im not doing extra volunteering or serious extra curriculars thatd give the headstart in my lfie. bc, even tho on one side i wanna be that kid and owuld scoff at ppl not doing it who are here for fun and get a degree on the side, rn i see it as not stealing away dedicated good peoples spots who deserve to get the extra recognition for being clever and independent, meanwhile knowing htat probablyill be just fine. worst case scenario for me is literally (ok theres worse but v unlikely) living w my parents and ending up at a mediocre service job to another mediocre office job or smth and never get to a lab bc i wasnt sufficient enough and i never got the cotton balls out of my head and cleared up again to be smart enogh

okay what next, shitty privilige, crying abt my cotton ball head or not being smart

3. okay were gonna do the smart first bc my chest hurts and i kinda feel like crying or smth abt it. like in a dumb (fun) chat im playing athena known for wisdom and all this shit, and though i can throw out a quip or two or cleverly use smth to keep the smartass wisdom stick going on, every now and then i realise how dumb i am and not smart enough that another person could clearly fill this in much better. like. you know all the hilarious posts abt mansplaining and women being pushed out of their fields by dumber men who think they know better bc the others a woman and like, yeah? things where they are confident enough to say, actually i am way smarter than you and i know this bettr. here i am feeling like even if i spent years researching smth i wouldnt have the confidence to feel smart and knowldegeable abt it. like rn, i cant even hold arguments anymore bc im a fool. and i come off as dumb and i dont want to be, i still wanna be the smart kid, but im not working my brain im not doing work or research or learning, im jsut floating by w my cotton ball head thats getting fuzzier and fuzzier and though i can do tasks and would probably b v compeittive if it came to that and need to prove myself as smart, i can no longer feel like id hold my own, esp when people poke holes so easily, trap falls, “hah you dont know what to say ive bested you you dumb bitch” vibey things i just. its horrible? i wanna be smart and be confident in my smartness and feel recognized as smart by other people and live up to that expectation of actually being clever. and not just, knowing im smart enough in some ways bc school ive  passed so easy w always good remarks and participate well in class discussion and all, and im sure nobody thinks im rly dumb bc if i have to ask things im v friendly and try to be attentive. and idk if nobodys expecting more than me, bc again if i cant answer ive developed to be v chill about it and come off as average i guess. 

anyways 4. privilige; like thers multiple inc. the fact im fucking finnish aka my education system was supposedly one of the best, i grew up international so i wasnt even confined to one shitty school in one shitty town, ive had varied school experiences and switching so much i think has given me confidence in myself and shit like that. also bc im finnish i get grants in uni, like free money. and so far i have barely had to use it bc surprise my parents are togther and decently well off bc they got lucky w a job being fancy ppl for 3 years and my older brother is already  adulting and slowly doing his own thing so i can have more money from them. aka. catch my dad paying all my rent and food and everything i need/ ask for on the condition we keep a good releationship. and im reasonable bc he raised me smart apparently idk. but that still means im living at home i have no intentions of becoming an independent home owner bc idk how i would esp since ill be with my parents most holidays for years to come and idk even when or how ill become a real adult being in a real home w real comapnionship. bc rn idk who im even gonna live with, hopefully be civil w them maybe even make a bit of friends but im not gonna have a significant other to move in and support me for a while bc thats a thing idk if were getting into today in this why im feeling shitty rant. 

4.b. so im priviliged in everyway to go to uni for free (damn i gotta apply for that again) in a nice country and a nice and supportive school and get funding from both my parents and my country and not worry abt money and just get a degree all supported and babied again. im also, idk. priviliged bc, fuck writing comes easy to me, i know nayone reading my rants would be like... yeah this is barely legible and terrible writted and mind blurts so i say it is yes bc its mind blurts but i can organise my htoughts into fancy essays surprisingly easy and critical stuff like psych and english came  mad easy to an extent. sure, i wasnt talented in math but i still made it, i am not talented in science but sometimes the concepts click and i can . but then, im also talented in art. and im not ashamed to say its privilige disposition or talent or smth, bc damn. i do not practice or dedicate enough love to claim that. sure, ive drawn always, sure, ive practiced more as a kid thatn other kids and thats probably carried me thru pretty far, but i think ive just had a natural disposition to be good at art technique (creativity maybe not so, or inspiration) but i know what looks good and sometimes how to achieve that. cue montage to art class where i sit w my friends who are talking about bands or making outlines w nut shells bc there i am beside them doing the work in half the time twice as good. mostly bc the teacher wasnt great and would assign essentially copying a picture from a4 to a2 u know like drawing the same thing. and thats not easy. and youre supposed to build up really light layers and slowly refine it.  and ppl who listened only ended up w shitty light drawings that either look like potatoes or vaguely like the picture, while i with boosting confidence would go, we only do one super light sketch one medium sketch and one dark layer. bc by the medium one everything is in its place and looks abt like everyone elses and i need the dark hues to show it accurately even if it isnt perfect, and my work would like almost always stand out on the wall bc it was so different/advanced. i wont lie it influenced my friends to not draw as well or as much sitting next to me, and ofc id feel bad and i could never boast bc i felt bad that they didnt try bc they saw me, thought mines not gonna be like that so im just gonna fuck around and do whatever. and i obvs needed praise but would always feel bad bc it was obviously me who was the best in that class and its so self conceited but, it kinda just was true in that small class half of whom didnt want to be there. me butt kissin and trying to impress myself w my skill. catch like, that first day he asked us to draw the person next to us, and i made my partner draw me first, bc i just knew if i went first theyd look at it and draw me a potato stick figure in 5 seconds and say i cant draw like you. and true. while the rest of the class made sketchy circle guys, some looing so childish, here i went and said, okay i find it awkward having you stare at me and if  you move a lot it makes it harder to be accurate, so, like take out your phone and get comfortable and look down at that for a while hence drawing3/4 unlike anyone else w eyes cast down and damn if i dont remember it being beautiful and identifiable as that friend, even tho the teacher told ppl around me like, ah yes she did it this way, 3/4 not face on which is much easier. which is true but bitch you never said. sides it looks so much better and was so much less frustrating. anyway, even now in that chat i go and like drop my drawings in bc partially i just wanna draw more and showing people makes me draw? u know. and i kinda wanna get compliments. but ive figured im pretty humble abt it. and sure i get comments that are like god i wish i could draw like that from someone that doesnt draw arms or legs and theyre v bublehead cartoon. and im like. you could. but yours is still middle school level, so just, keep working at it, get confidence to break your mold. 

that andtheres this one chick that,,,, gawd, well they admit to being a sociopath in chat which is great and seem real attention seekery in general (theres a surprising amount of people, while in midst of rp and getting compliments go “well i guess im a shit rpr because nobody wants to rp with me ://) post art and then be like dramatically UGH i hate it it looks so bad im terrible at art, literally poster girl for fishing for compliments. and even if i dont like the style at all, i try give in anatomical pointers or smth abt the drapery or smth technical i can complement. bc id want the same i guess? and i dont love let alone like the art itself. and then, while getting so many of those theyre like “yeah well nobody likes my art, say it reminds them of this character (jessica rabbit while all hers have big hips big tits tiny waists massive lips massive eye, but just one eye bc the otehrs covered by hair like theres obvious similarities) which means im totally not original like i thought so why even try!” and other melodramatic things that i can argue, but they dont wanna hear it they want attention and praise and i just ughhh i could preach you about how no art is original and its all from influence, or how someone doesnt have to like your style to appreciate it, or someone might love your style and like. basic stuff ive figured out myself. and it gets frustrating trying not to get a superiority, or to start shoving my own art in there to try compete or smth. and its just. hard. idk. id k. i know theres people who are averse to art and never tried to be good at it who are obvs gonna be omg thats so good i cant even draw and ill be like, hah yeah sure dude if you tried maybe btut thanks. 

also drawing man its so weird, whenever i see someone elses drawing a part of me goes “we must draw so that we can show were better than that” like, either to get complimetns and shift it to me? or to just show them off. to be like. i can do it better. which i kinda hate about myself? that i draw mostly bc of that and a need to show off? like amxxs art or smth, them talking like yeahh ugly art is good art, drawing is so healing i feel great or im so proud of myself for improivng so much look at my art, and a part of me goes, awh yes! my theorys proven working on art for yourself improves and can cheer you up, another goes, yesnow i must draw to show how good i am and show how i too feel fulfilled by drawing but also make it about me by weeping how i hate drawing myself. literally smths wrong w me seeing others pot abt their midrift, or learning to accept their curves or drawing themselves or smth, and theres a gremlin of me going like yeah but i cant draw myself bc i tried once and it looks like shit and ill only highlight my flaws and im slightly afraid of someone saying it looks exactly like me or other dumb shit, or i dont have curves to accept bcim not big hip big thic thigh girl im just. my legs are big but mostly ugly bc of the skin on them not bc of their size (ankles tho oof) and i have no hips i have no butt bc it allwent to my stoamch thats also ugly and my broad   badly postured back thats also ugly w these spots and marks and scars soon probably. and saggy boobs dont forget those. bc theyre literally fat sacks aiming for the ground i guess. anyway. no cute curves,  no beautiful skin no nth its just tough and i cant help but feel the negativity towards myself in almost every glimpse of someone elses positivity. i dont always air it which would be horrible of me to do, but its still there. making their happiness about my misery. maxx loves their boyfriend?> i hate them bc i dont like him and its rining it> i hate them havingsuch a dreamy but fake seeming ‘soulmate’ relationship bc its not true and i think itll end up terribly> im neveer gonna have that and im jealous of them i guess having someone theyd dedicate so much to and who loves them so much theyre all over the place making sappy things> well theyre an oveer romantic whod do it over the smallest things this wasnt a great example. 

anyway yeah extra note, even if i felt comfortable enough for sex im not comfortable enough in my body for that and idk how thats relevant to anything but i guess thats smth id also talk w a therapist abt whod probably tell me, then dont have sex! like yeah thats my plan.but im talking never gonna be able to form a relationship bc even having a friend for a sleepover makes me uncomfortable having them see me in an uncontrolled clothed position. u feel. 

anyway i have a lot of little problems that amount and i guess when i start addressing one the rest pop up their ugly heads and this is why i never getanywhere. this all comes from  how shitty i feel from how i have literally not even 3 full days to complete those tasks and pass, and i know i need to, though nothing in me actually feels like itll actually do the work u know, that spiraled through that chat into privilige of being at school and how i should tryy a bit that turned to im priviliged to be smart to pass and in my talent in art despite not being an artist that spiraled to another way i disliked myself and thats my fucked relations to myself my body and relationships (esp including me that dont exist)  

side note, though no surprise if for some ungodly reason youve read this shit i wrote at 8.30 am when i have a docs appointment abt my very ugly skin at 12.45 i over share. easily. if somseone asks id give them all. look at this. even in that chat i spiraled from, hah fun fucked up thing im almost failing my course bc im a shit, to my  heads filled with fuzz and i hate that i cant live up to my potentia. and im surprised how much i like this one guy, though who with his character ripped into my athena and make me question all my smartness, really makes me feel better ooc??? like theyre genuinely nice and just too informed and funny and playing the dick for a very well thought out reason (drunk doesnt mean it etc) and while the sociopath gal is giving me the side eye after they tried to help but figured out im a prviliged kid whos in school for free and not making the most of it and how easy school has been forme when for them despite their hard efforts they failed high school.u know not reallly helping kinda making me fele worse bc i know i should be doing better and could be and not only bc i have a priviliged opportuntity to and ability, i would benefit so much more if i did it for myself. but here comes by weird guy who slips on a freudian approach and claims they love helping ppl through their problems so i drop another overshare paragraph if he rly wanted to help but lighten it by taking thetopic off, he doesnt return and never address my post bc now its onto talking abt the big rp thing. im not mad. i just, idk i kinda wanted their support, another poor stranger to inflict w my extremely troubled wordy lengthy and i guess complex thoughts and feelings and lack there of sometimes and other shit. 

anyway im not doing great but im gonna grab 3 hrs of sleep before the doc, come back, nap, go to ballet again, come back, ad.... do smth.. work. maybe. one can hope. i hate it will it actually work only time can tell and i hate myself already.ugh. i hate i hate im not okya with this why cant someone else deal w me for me. deal with all these feelings and botherings and make me do my work and be satisfied doing it and do it all in time and feel a little success and reward myself like i should for work done and not just when i want. idk. someone,t ake over my life, you might be better at it. help me dela with school that i currently hate the most even if im meant to end up a scholar or smth

ok heres my eurovision liveblog thoughts i guess

i love slovenias look but im not a.... trap fan?? is that the genre? not a fan of that. also not a flashing light thank, thank you.

‘the need for everyone to fall in love’ the need??????? sfuck off

uhhhhhh...... oh thats cute. oh those lil videos are cute. and i appreciate them. i wish she’d say the /O/ in old because she clearly can but it just sounds like ‘ahld’ or smth.

what wa the point of the australian presenter to spoil the fact her husband showed up on stage like that wouldve been sweet if i hadnt KNOWN it.

‘electronic groups’ oh god AGAIN? oh thank god. oh this is nice.

‘really gets under your skin’ wow these presenters suck. thats very much the wrong metaphor. like that literally means the opposite of what you WANTED it to mean. shit. fuck.

these presenters honestly are just kinda ass. also ‘songwriters are saying it doesnt make sense’ ??? are they stupid. its. its not exactly abstract expressionism?????? what the fuck are they talking about. also what was hthat camera cut with a bald man just side eyed the camera like hes ready to kill. my god. what a legend. but was thatcomment.a joke? wild. oh it was a joke. ok. yea no im not feeling their humour. also why do they keep cutting out.

oh im really liking portugals. like it just feels nice. its sorta cozy.

‘thats one way to put it’??????? was that a gay joke?????? what the fuck was that. what was that?????? like, she said ‘listening to music for 73 hours straight’ and she went ‘straight? thats one way to put it’ IS IT A GAY JOKE???? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. im so confused. i dont understand. pls. why.

ooh its time for the invader, im Ready???? i think im ready. im sorta not but i sorta am. no choice, i cant pause. im liking this song though. ok cool im getting second hand anxiety about knowing an invader is coming. im not ready. i have no choice but OH BOY!!!! oh boy!!....... ok she handled that fairly well, but the fact her vocals kept going does look weird (tho its just clearly a backing vocal track to help boost it or to allow her to hold long notes, so im not fussed)

i like this song tho, i sorta wish she’d taken the reperform . ooOOOOH ‘absolute cockhead’ same. i like that they decided to cut to an interview to allow for the backstage crew and security to figure out what the Fuck just happened. like its obvious it was an unplanned interview but i think that was a good way to do it. a+

oh fuck thats ethereal. wooooahhhhhhhhhHHH. oh bitch. oh my god. i love this. oh i REALLY like this one. gave me chills. also, ‘crazy colonel sanders’ what, the flutist? yall are uncreative fuckers. he looks nothing like colonel sanders, in ANY way. like he just loosk like your reclusive grandfather. or like uhhhh montgomery montgomery from the asoue movie (i forget the actor sorry i know hes big)

oh this song hurts and it really shouldnt. ow. fuck. im meant to be doing my essay and im crying on the couch bitch Fuck. listen dude songs about close family dying hurt me so bad. HES CRYING TOO!!!!! bitch. ow. god no wonder he came 4th, that shit fucking Hurt me. oh my god. my throat hurts. god dammit germany! no!!!! bad!!!!! i came for fun. im slain.

im a fan of this albanian song too. it feels sorta like im listening to uhhhhh...... one of chelseas french musicals, actually. specifically robin du bois. i think its the instrumentation. big fan. oh my god i Love him.

why is their outfits being designed by gautier matter. wow those are square shoulders. i wish he hadnt. looks like something a Sith Lord would wear. the shoulders are better in context of the whole outfit. just..... not on a close up, i dont think. uh lovely song btw. oh the converse do not work with that outfit. why is she wearing sneaker esque shoes. what the hell was that.

he did a backflip?? in rehea- woah. hold on. black bars????? they havent been there the whole time, have they?? this looks like an aesthetic choice???? im confused. oh no did he have to dance like that. was that to fill in for the backflip they had to cut because he hurt himself. :| did they just dab. this is disgusting. i mean the song is nice but Why tho. czech hipster man, why must you hurt me. also i love how ‘whats up eurovision’ worked perfectly with the beat. v nice.

i heard viktor krum, what did he do. what does he have to do with this. why the fuck did they mention viktor krum, that actor is bulgarian and this is denmark???? i cant rewind. did i miss a joke. also ooh this is a fun viking beat.

WHAT HE FUCK DOES VIKTOR KRUM HAVE TO DO WITH IT. these commentators absolutely suck. i literally dont understand. they look NOTHING like durmstrang??? yall fuckers seen the movie?

also wow this is the much hyped australian act................. hmm. yea no we deserved 20th place. this isnt great. it also doesnt feel like shes hitting certain notes? but im tone deaf so i cant judge. this really isnt great. like ‘oh were a win chance’ yall blind from patriotism. i prefer most of the others. this isnt great. (i mean i dont wanna be that downer asshole but i Mean......... this is a competition and we got what we deserved here) oh god no that didnt work. nnn nah.

also STOP THE FUCKING FLASHING LIGHTS you fucking assholes. oh my god. im just /begging/. oh my god shut the fuck up commentators. these commentators honestly fucking suck. i hate them.

the commentators dabbed. Why. WHY. whats wrong with yall. fuck me.

also im still bewildered by the ‘straight? one way to put it’ joke like genuinely what was it. if the prior performance had been one of the gayer ones that i know are coming up, then maybe itd make sense. this is bewildering. heyyy its the ncis lady. i like her.

im waiting to finally hear israels unbutchered song ver (the ‘vote for israel’ ad presumably fucked it).

fuck i need food and i cant pause. god, is every song a favourite, yeesh. small aside - im sick of bands with a Single female. cowards. i mean this band is fairly diverse and i appreciate that! thats very nice!!! its not a specific knock. just like.... come on........... where the girls in the big bands at.

X RATED WIGGLES???????? are you all fucking mad. good lord this shit is absurd. oh this feels like a gameshow set. i like this. oh i like this. this is an aesthetic. i love the illusion stuff. im a Big fan. i dont think id call any of this x rated... m, certainly. wouldnt ban most of this from tv, you feel me. i thought that was quite fun. can you stop talking over the actual presenters please, you australian cockheads. im really hungry.

ooh i like this. edm, right??? i kinda dig it. like its hit or miss for the genre but i like this.

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE BLACK BARS. fuckers. it was stylistic, right? i appreciate it.

oh. screamo? fantastic. just what i want! :) precisely my genre :) big fan of screaming :) OOH this opening beats though, ooooohhh fuck yea. lets hear it boys. oh, les screaming, more yelling. no im mostly okay with that. its in hungarian but thats aight. im sure the nordic countries appreciate this hard rock representation. also, flashing lights!!! stop! oh im not a fan of the backup singers there. thats a shame.

‘unique song’ thematically??? yall fucking crazy weve covered both bullying and metoo in two previous songs. ya dunce.

ok lets hear it. OH her vocals are gorgeous. also by ‘referencing jpop’ are you talking about the outfit??? im mixed on it because idk shit about ~culture~ but it is cute, i suppose. i dunno anything about jpop either.

but wow that ad really did not represent this song well. dumbass.

huh. country. weird. i mean this is nice, sure, but its not my thing.

HEYYY IRELAND!!! helloooo. this is nice. just nice and sweet. like that was just nice.

ooh cyprus. oh my fucking god STOP SAYING FAVOURITE you absolute fucking balloons. ‘how does she get the outfit on’ you can see the zip and its obviously a full body suit, ding dong. dumb man. im liking this though. big fan.

oh final song, thank god, i can almost go get FOOD!!! im hungry.

was that a russian overlay. interesting?? i also feel like some of these overlays definitely arent italian. are they singing italian tho? are the overlays just thematic w/ some subtitle esque ones? its nice though. like, the message is definitely in a good close and i love it on that level..... on a uh...... Song level? not really.

well that was neat.... im getting food. oh jeez the commentators almost spoke over each other yeesh.

why do they keep saying fucking viktor krum. im so fucking mad about that. its so fucking stupid. like thats. thats not. thats not remotely close??? you dumbass.

not an exhaustive list, but i like norway, portugal, UK, germany (brings me to fucking tears), albania, france (STOP GOING ON ABOUT GAUTIER), finland, bulgaria, moldova, sweden, israel, cyprus. theyre nice. germany fucked me up the most so i think im legally required to say i wish germany had won.

‘heres sandra bullock and jennifer lawrence’ shut the actual fuck up.

anyway im leaving. that was fun.

That Mental Illness Thing.

A really good friend of mine just told me she’s struggling with depression, and so i gave her my advice. I figured it might be helpful for other people too so Imma post is here, please feel free to add anything else to it as well! heres my two cents: I'm so incredibly sorry that you feel so shitty, and I understand some of how terrible you feel right now. I want you to know that this doesn't lessen you as a person, and that this will not last forever. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15, and I have lived a happy(ish ;)) healthy fufilling life despite that. And who knows, maybe its clinical, maybe its situational. I don't know. thats why I'm going to refer you to a bunch of different resources. 1. the family navigation project at sunnybrook works with the families of mentally ill children to help get them  the support they need. they are like 85% of the reason I got the help i needed, and theyre super nice and will help you and theyre super knowledgeable, and will check up on you and communicate with you. I was scared and smol and super alone in the whole thing and they made me feel like i wasn't fighting on my own. 100% reccomend. 2. the Delisle youth services are an organization that offer therapy and safe spaces to youth and theyre super fantastic too. Those safe spaces are also very pro LGBTQIA+ ( all of the places im reccomending are, but by far delisle are the most proactive about it) so if you feel like you need a place to ask questions about your sexuality and advice and whatnot, theyre great mate. 3. When i got my diagnosis, I had to go in circles and bounce from organization to organization a lot, so Im gonna cut to the chase here: if your looking for a diagnosis, go to your doctor and have them refer you for an appointment at the youthdale treatment centre. thats where they have child psychs that will assess you and help you figure out what you need. which leads me to: LITTLE FUN FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOWWWWW 1. you are 14< which means that you have complete control over your own medical records. if you want, you can do what i did and your parents never have to find out. you tell the doctor "i dont want my parents to know" and BY LAW they cant say jack shit. Personally, i think that if you are comfortable with it, then it makes the whole this 80000% easier on you mentally to have a parent with you, but far from me to say that it will always be the best option bc i know that things only were worse for me when my parents found out (here i should add the caveat that my parents were abusive pieces of shit and from what you told me your parents are great but idk. you know yourself and your situation best.) 2. Diagnoses are your best friend. theres a few different reasons why imo your first step is a diagnosis: a) it first of all gives you the piece of mind to know that you arent just being lazy, or self pitying, but that you have a legitimate illness that you must treat which makes it leaps and bounds easier to treat because you dont hate yourself (as much) b) the school and other institutions will help you out if you can provide that documentation. Ontario charter of rights and freedoms outlines that you are entitled to certain allowances as you have a legitimate disability. Once you have a diagnosis, you can sit down with a guidance counsellor and get some things set out to help you at school. this means for me that i am allowed to listen to music in class, i get extra time on assignments with no reprecussions, and if i need to walk out of class (panic attacks yay!) then i can. by far this has made my life sosososo much better and easier and made me so much happier. its so comforting to know if youre having a bad episode and cant move from bed than at least your not "destroying your life." also, universities are forced to recognize it too, and that leads to my last point c) as calculating as it sounds, scholarships yo. you heard me. get that mad dough. 

3. maybe the first therapist you see wont work for you. maybe you have to shop around. thats okay and normal and 100% fine. the most important part is that you find someone you can work with 4. Kids help phone has an online chat if you ever need to scream about something but dont wanna feel like youre burdening anyone. MY SUPER SUBJECTIVE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE 1. sometimes you just gotta turn your brain off and run on autopilot. sometimes you dont go to rehearsal bc you love it, sometimes you just gotta go because its thursday night and thats what happens thursday nights. 2. Schedule your life. I find that when im depressed, sitting in bed watching star trek for 16 hours feels like a really solid plan. so have a solid-er plan in place so that when you feel like that you can say that "nope i cant find out if starfleet is actually being controlled by changelings because i have to create an outline of my comparitive essay for english by 4 o clock" and so by doing that you become your own mom. i like bullet journalling for this. google it, its fun and productive.   3. Talk to people. I know how hard that can be and im really proud of you for reaching out the way you have. that takes guts, and so im putting this here as a intellectual thing to keep track of and not because i actually think youre stuggling with this part b. messaging people isnt the same as talking to them. so try to get that face-time in. go see a movie. grab some fro-yo. go to the park. see people face to face and that will make everything less shitty. SO FINAL SUM UP. this is a super shitty way to be feeling, and i know its kinda scary, but it doesnt have to suck peripherally, only in the most immediate way, in that your illness is pretty much described as "everything sucks for me always." If you ever need anything i am always right here, and there are resources available at the tips of your fingers. I have a studyblr as well and a lot of it is how to manage mental health when youre in school (and star trek memes. shut up you have your guilty pleasures too) so if you need help getting to work this is also helpful too.