#sorry Christians
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Guys. I did it.
Remember that John/Kayne/Jesus fic I wouldn't shut up about? It's finally ready. It's atrocious.
Please gaze at my monstrous creation. (And read the tags) (and ignore my profile's name please I was dumb)
#malevolent#malevolent fanfic#john doe malevolent#kayne malevolent#malevolent podcast#masked#im very ashamed#sorry christians
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Luffy is so Jesus coded
Is the second coming of Joy Boy that is destined to unite the world
His two ships are a lamb and a lion
Shares a meal and a drink with his friends to signify their bond
His yellow strawhat literally frames his head to look like old depictions of celestial halos
Scars are a prominent motif in his design
Has been to hell and back
Accepts people of all walks of life
Wears sandals
Asexual?
Luffy is Brazilian. And you know whats in Brazil? The biggest statue of Jesus. I rest my case.
(This is mostly a joke, please be nice to me. Im an ex-Christian but i still think of Jesus as a home boy.)
#one piece#one piece theory#monkey d. luffy#stupid theory#dont mind me im a silly idiot#Christian mention#sorry Christians
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as Easter fast approaches i would like to take this moment to tell all my newer followers about the incredibly sacrilegious Easter Jesus zombie movie idea that my friends and i came up with freshman year of college
the basic premise is that Jesus rises from the dead every year at Easter and, as a reanimated dead guy (don’t start with me about the nature of the trinity ok), brings with him the zombie apocalypse
but since it’s Jesus who’s the zombie the movie protagonists can’t kill him normal ways and instead they have to sin as hard as possible so that enough sin will accumulate that Jesus will once again die for humanity’s sins and the zombie apocalypse will end
so the movie follows a group of weary Terry Pratchett-style atheists (they know Jesus exists, but they don’t *believe* in him as it’ll just encourage him) as they do as many Seven Deadly Sins as quickly and intensely as possible to put Jesus and his army of zombie Evangelicals (infected by taking Communion, the literal blood/body of zombie Christ) back down before they destroy society altogether
there are gory Wrath scenes and needlessly objectifying Lust scenes and they hire the chocolate guy to do gorgeously crafted Gluttony scenes and get some real good naps in for Sloth scenes etc etc
at the end, our heroes have managed to sin enough that Jesus dies again and his horde of Evangelical zombies become human again
that is, until next Easter, when Jesus will rise again.....
#credit to Teague and Matt for the Easter Jesus zombie movie idea#i capitalized the Christian words in this one because when im being incredibly sacrilegious its only proper to show that modicum of respect#think of this as a shitty c-list movie that gets played at 1am on like the syfy channel or whatever#it could include some sort of ritual Good Friday ceremony where the protagonists all get together to channel the power of the day Jesus died#its a really fun idea for a campy cheap effects gratuitous sex and violence slasher-type film ok#sorry Christians#i wish you all a meaningful and happy Easter#go have a good time attending church and collecting magic eggs laid by a rabbit#zombie Jesus#I spam
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Rejoice! Salvation Is Free, Just Accept Jesus Into Your Life Today!
why doesn’t jesus accept deez nutz in his mouth
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I'm very tired of this "queer college students should stop supporting Palestine, they'd kill you there!" I watched a hijabi ask a trans man, "but what name do you want to go by?" A butch giving a woman their hoodie so that she could keep her hair covered after the cops took her scarf. Muslim girls making sure the lesbian couple got through the system together. Religious men making sure purple haired protestors got out safe. I don't want to hear it. Solidarity forever, free Palestine.
#i got arrested at an encampment if that's not clear#sorry to the annons still waiting in my ask box ive had a crazy weekend#christians for a free palestine#free palestine#save Gaza
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im not particularly religious but i think it’s very cute that Trans Day of Visibility and Easter are on the same day this year :)
its no question that something like this could be triggering or upsetting to a number of queer ppl given the current sociopolitical climate, so i want everyone to remember that u are loved! Regardless of what u or others believe, there are ppl who will love and support you always. Give yourself patience and treat yourself with care!!!
happy and peaceful TDOV everyone!! And Easter to those who celebrate :D
#sorry for treating Jesus like an anime character#trans day of visibility#tdov#easter#Jesus is actually very fun to draw#I have no idea how to tag this because what do I even say#lgbtqia#religion#Jesus#christianity#christian imagery#sorry for all the tags I just wanna make sure ppl can filter this if they don’t wanna see it lol#i drawd this
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whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean
#american psycho#patrick bateman#christian bale#rewatched last night he’s soo stupidly pathetic why is he the way he is#allagashed obsessed with another insane man (fork found in kitchen)#sorry 2 my very little followers my interests bounce around so quick i only have like two i’m constantly into and its nirvana and ed movies#+ horror movies so actually three nvm
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lin manuel miranda could write the bible but god could never write hamilton
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the other day i saw a man wearing a shirt that said "HE IS MY REASON" in big huge letters and i got so excited to see a tma fan in the wild, because i have only met maybe two other people who even know about it. and then i remembered christians exist
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Mmmmm fem Dabi ♀️
#my poor bisexual heart#awooooga#sorry about the boobage on my christian tumblr blog#my art#dabi#fem dabi#bnha#mha
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Anyways has anyone tried and succeeded to read the entire Bible? I've tried before and I always immediately get bored. And it's literally not for religious reasons I just want to read it just to say that I've done it.
I also think it would be funny to rewrite the entire Bible (I think I saw a Tumblr post a while back where someone found their old attempt to do this when younger and it was really funny). But I also know I would not be able to finish it bc I'd get tired of it. Or God would kill me or Tower of Babel me somehow.
#well if it gets me to know another language!#the bible#christianity#blasphemy#not catholic#sorry christians#god#reading
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If we DO ever get a Good Omens season 3 (and fingers crossed we will) then using the Second Coming as the narrative device to facilitate the final culmination of Good Omens' ideology and message is brilliant, actually.
Because the Second Coming IS NOT another Adam situation. And, contrary to the misconceptions I've seen, It IS NOT about Jesus being born again as a baby, etc, etc.
THE SECOND COMING. QUITE LITERALLY refers to THE LAST JUDGMENT.
As in. The SAME Last Judgment Michelangelo painted on the walls of the Sistine Chapel. As in - THE JUDGMENT of the Living and the Dead. THE LAST, FINAL, ETERNAL JUDGMENT.
It's the WHOLE thing Armageddon was leading towards. Book of Revelation speedrun: the world ends, everyone dies, and then they get resurrected again to be judged by JESUS himself. He will flick through the Book of Life (WINK WINK WINK DO YOU SEE HOW LOUDLY I'M WINKING AT YOU???), and if your name is there he will go "oh nice you deserve eternal paradise! :D" and if your name is ERASED from the Book of Life he will go "oh no, sorry, you go to the lake of fire for eternity now D:" (except apparently in Good Omens lore it'd just DOOM YOU TO NON-EXISTENCE FOREVER???)
And if you THINK about it, The Last Judgment is the ultimate manifestation of moral absolutism. No shades of gray, no chances. Just BLACK, and WHITE. Never mind that you're like Wee Morag and Elspeth, who are forced to do "bad" things because of circumstances. It's either you pass Judgment Day, or you burn (or disappear forever.)
And the way THINGS are going in the Good Omens universe? I don't think there's ANYONE "good" enough to be "saved." Not Crowley, not Aziraphale. Hell, not even the Archangels themselves.
So it provides a PERFECT opportunity for Aziraphale and Crowley to UPEND that SYSTEM entirely.
I think that's what Crowley and Aziraphale would do in s3: establish a new kind of system in which angels and demons have free will to determine the right (or wrong) choice.
Giving them the APPLE, so to speak.
And then they'll go off to retire in a cottage, together at last.
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens meta#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#im sorry but i choke everytime someone refers to a baby jesus for the second coming#like i love yall and parent trapping aziraphale and crowley by the infant son of god would be amusing as heck#but also i rlly think this is about the Last Judgment guys KSLDSKDKLDS#thank you good omens yes this IS in fact how i use my collection of niche trivia on christian eschatology#putting my religious trauma into good use iktr
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PERCEVAL THE UNHAPPY, THE MISERABLE, THE UNFORTUNATE, THE FISHER KING!
Perceval, de Troyes (trans. Burton Raffel)
ALRIGHT alright. so previously I did an illustration that explained the premise of all this, that it's inspired by the narrative choices that Bresson made in his film Lancelot du Lac etc
to dive in more into it (because this is something like derivative fiction. I'm putting concepts into a blender and seeing what comes out of it): the setting is haunted by the previously existing narratives that started cannibalizing each other until it regurgitates itself into the more well known narrative beats, and something else about the invasive rot of christianity and empire mythmaking into settings. it's an intertextual haunting, if you will! and this scene takes place during the grail quest narrative, but the temptation of Perceval plays out differently.
in both Chretien (and Wolfram's) Perceval narratives, what 'wakes' Perceval up (in more ways than one. desire and self actualization in one go!) is seeing knights, something his mother tried hard to keep him from. so instead of the temptation of lust & etc in the Morte narrative taking the form of a lady, it takes the form of a knight. the temptation to renounce one's faith to serve something else remains.
so Perceval still stabs himself, but instead of continuing on the grail quest in the shadow of Galahad, he becomes the narrative's Fisher King because his earlier state of being as a the grail quest hero is creeping back into his marrow. it was waiting for an opening, and stabbing yourself in the thigh is one hell of a parallel!!!
that wound isn't going to heal buddy, and the state of the setting will now be reflected on your body. sure hope that Arthur hasn't like. corrupted the justice of the land or anything. that sure would suck for your overall health.
all the red in this sequence is because in de Troyes' Perceval, Perceval takes the armor of the Red Knight and becomes known as the Knight in Red.
and now for the citations, which I will try to order in a way that makes sense!
Seeing Knights For The First Time
Perceval, de Troyes (trans. Burton Raffel)
The Temptation of Perceval
Le Morte Darthur, Mallory (modernized by Baines)
The Fisher King, and Perceval The Unfortunate
Perceval, de Troyes (trans. Burton Raffel)
On Perceval and Gender, etc.
Clothes Make The Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, Michael D. Amey
On Wounds
Wounded Masculinity: Injury and Gender in Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte Darthur, Kenneth Hodges
The Red Knight
Perceval, de Troyes (trans. Burton Raffel)
On Arthur and the Corruption of Justice
The Failure of Justice, the Failure of Arthur, L.K. Bedwell
#long post#GOD IS IT A LONG POST#i am so so sorry for that.#knights knights knights!#komiks tag#blood cw#if it wasn't clear: i dislike galahad so much. he represents so much i cant stand and worst of all he ROBBED MY MAN#OF HIS NARRATIVE#but like. what's christianity but theft acting uwu innocent about all the shit they did tbqh#fucking. la croix jesus christ over here.#sir perceval
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via instagram
#sorry to christian for not adding the photo of him#i just don’t care#i’m a lesbian#mads uploads#maya hawke
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The consequences of a friend getting me into RvB like a week or two ago and then suddenly Rooster Teeth announces it's shut down got me sobbing at 4:30 am
#we're only on like season 9#and i cannot draw halo armor but i love the armor i will learn...#rvb#red vs blue#richard simmons#dick simmons#dexter grif#sarge rvb#simmons rvb#grif rvb#franklin delano donut#donut rvb#mart#sorry for the Messiest and Worst Tags known to man i don't know this fandom#them two ketchup and mustard guys are totally fucking gay though#kudos to whoever read the tags#my final words. uhhhh i could make grif denounce the christian god#rooster teeth#grimmons#<- edited tag cause i finally found out the ship name LOL#rvb doodles
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