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sopebubbles · 9 months

Text

Master List

Fourteen

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: Your second heat with the pack begins, and Yoongi, Jimin and Hoseok promise to make it better than any before.

Warnings: talks of past trauma, nightmares, SMUT (I honestly didn't think this was gonna happen), penetrative sex (female and male), use of sex toys, unprotected sex, LOTS of kissing and touching, lots of pet names.

WC: 14k

"Mmm, you're in preheat," Yoongi said against your neck. He could smell you getting sweeter and sweeter. He'd noticed it a couple of hours ago, but let you keep sleeping. His heart dropped when he felt you tense up beneath him, knowing you were going into distress, souring just a little. "It will be alright, princess. We're here to help." He did his best to soothe you, but when you remained still, he pulled you back against him, away from Jimin.

"Jimin, go get Hobi," he instructed, and the beta got up without asking any questions. Yoongi rolled you over so he could see your face even though you wouldn't look at him. He smoothed your hair back as he spoke softly. "We should have done this sooner, but we're going to talk with Hobi and make a plan. Everything will be alright."

He began to feel a little panic when you didn't respond, and he wondered if maybe you didn't trust him completely yet. Maybe you were still afraid of him a little. Maybe you feared that he wasn't going to keep the promises he had made you on the day you finally became his. His heart broke a little, although he could never blame you. But he didn't know what he would do if you kicked him out to go through your heat alone. He couldn't let that happen. He'd lose his mind.

"I don't understand why she's so broken up about it," Jimin heard Namjoon say as he walked down the stairs. "If I were her I'd be thrilled the bastard is dead."

"Because she's a good girl who doesn't want to be a murderer," Hoseok replied. "I'm sure she'd be happy if she didn't feel responsible. I wish she could see that she isn't."

All heads turned toward Jimin as he entered the kitchen where they all sat, drinking tea, or in Jungkook and Namjoon's case, beer.

"How is she doing?" Tae asked urgently.

"She feels like shit. But we have a different problem. Hobi, Yoongi wants you upstairs."

Hobi stood up and set his mug heavily on the table. "What's wrong?"

Jimin frowned. "She's in pre-heat," he replied before turning to go back up the stairs.

"Taehyung, I need you to go to the grocery store to stock up. Take Namjoon with you," Hobi said before following Jimin.

"But-"

"No buts," he said curtly and disappeared.

"I'll go, if you don't want to," Jin told Namjoon softly.

"Or the two of you can go and I'll stay here," Taehyung offered, not at all wanting to leave the house while you were becoming more vulnerable by the second.

Namjoon sighed. "If the two of us go we won't come back with any of the things we actually need. And Hobi probably needs you here, Jin. It's fine. I'll go."

Jimin knocked on the door before opening it, startling both you and Yoongi. When you saw Hobi behind him, you both sat up to be able to talk to them properly. He sat on the edge of the bed and touched his hand to your forehead.

"You're hot as hell, but you smell like heaven. How are you feeling, pup?" He asked, but you merely shrugged.

"Hobi, Y/N told me a while ago that she doesn't like dealing with her heats. She said they hurt. I know we should have worked it out earlier, but I was hoping you could help us come up with a plan or something. You're the expert and I…"

Yoongi didn't need to finish his sentence for Hoseok to know just how lost he felt. It was clear in his eyes, though he was trying to hide it. He looked from your alpha to you and smiled. "Heats aren't bad if you manage them right, pup. We'll get through it fine. Can you tell me what you normally do for your heats?"

You shook your head and pulled your knees toward your chest. "Nothing. I haven't been having them for a couple years. I don't know."

"Well, what was your best heat like?"

You looked at him blankly. "My best heat was the one I had last time. With you."

His heart ached. That couldn't be true. The struggle he'd watched you go through couldn't have been the best of an experience that Hoseok often found actually quite enjoyable.

He swallowed, steeling himself to dig into what he guessed was going to be a lot of trauma. "Sweetheart, can you tell me about your first heat?"

You broke eye contact with him, lowering your gaze to your knees where the old jeans you were still wearing were worn thin, ready to rip apart. You shook your head.

Yoongi rubbed a hand down your spine, still tense, and begged. "Please, princess. I know it might hurt, but we can't make it better until we know what's wrong."

You breathed in deep and pushed it out. Your voice cracked when it first came out. "I was sixteen when I had my first. I didn't know what was happening at first. No one had ever told me what it would be like, and I was so old, I thought at that point I was a beta, like Eli." The words caught around the lump in your throat, but you swallowed it down. "When my m-mother found me. Sh-she she dragged me from the nest I made." You hadn't realized you'd begun to cry until Jimin took one of your balled-up fists in his hand to relax it. "She and my father took me out to the back of the farm and left me outside the property in the woods. It was the last time I saw them."

Hoseok wanted to tear them apart with his teeth, but it wasn't about them right now. He wiped your cheeks. "That must have been very scary. You were so brave. What did you do?"

You sniffed. "I was pretty out of it. I stayed in the woods until it was over because I didn't want s-someone else to find me," you hiccuped. "There were other animals out there and–"

"Y/N," Hoseok interrupted you. His voice was so firm you had to instantly look him in the eyes. "You are not an animal. No matter what they told you, you're a person. Got it?" He watched your eyes glass over before you nodded. "Sorry, pup. I didn't mean to sound so angry. I'm not…I'm not mad at you." You lowered your eyes again, and he couldn't help but feel bad and wonder if he was helping at all. "I'm sorry. Go on."

You cleared your throat. "After it was over, I hitchhiked to the nearest city, an hour or so away. I was on the streets for about six months, so like two heats bc they were farther apart then. You can imagine how that went."

Hoseok did his very best not to imagine it. Jimin's grip on your hand tightened as he recalled the night they found you, what they stopped and what he feared could have happened. He never thought you might have already lived the worst things he could think of. Yoongi on your other side was deadly silent.

"Anyway, then I met Sebastian and Roxy, and I think Yoongi told you about what that was like already." You looked at Yoongi for the first time since you'd started telling your story, but he didn't look at your face. When you looked back at Hoseok, he nodded. "When I went to jail, they made me take heat suppressants and since then I've pretty much stayed on them. It's been…better."

Hobi swallowed down the bile rising in his throat as he tried to look for something to say. Before he could think of anything, Jimin spoke.

"Y/N-ie, can I hold you?" He asked softly.

You looked at him in surprise. "Y-you want to hold me?"

He nodded. "I think it will make you–no, I don't know if it will actually make you feel better, but if it's alright with you, I'd like to try. I think it would make me worry less," he admitted. "It's okay if you don't want to. I won't force–"

You stopped him by moving closer, between his legs. "It always makes me feel better. And I don't want you to worry."

For a brief moment, Yoongi forgot his anger and concern as he watched Jimin wrap his arms around your waist and you leaned your head on his shoulder. He almost smiled. Then he looked at Hoseok, who had finally composed himself.

"Pup," he started softly, pulling your attention away from Jimin's collar to look up at him, but you didn't move an inch. You looked tiny in Jimin's arms, and something about it made his heart swell. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sad you had to go through all of that alone. I promise that for the rest of your life, anyone who tries to hurt you like that will answer to me personally." His eyes slid briefly over to your alpha and back to you, but Yoongi didn't seem bothered by the threat. "That's not what heats are supposed to be like, and I'm going to make sure that you can see that someday. I know it won't be perfect this time, but I think we can make it better."

"How?" You asked softly.

"For starters, the four of us will be the only people allowed in this room. I'll do what I can to make sure you don't even smell the other alphas, and they won't bother you. Would that make you feel safer?"

"You'll be in here with me?" You looked at your alpha.

"We're not going to let you be alone this time, princess. We'll be here to make sure you stay hydrated and eat when you can. We can help keep you calm and make you as relaxed as possible," he said.

"But what about…will you…will we?"

He shook his head. "I made you a promise, pup, and I'm going to keep it. I'm not going to breed you. I'm just going to keep you company."

"But what if I…" You shrank into Jimin's chest and picked at your nails. "When I'm like that, sometimes I–" they all waited patiently while you tried to get the words out. "Sometimes I want it, even if I think I don't want it. It's like my body just…" your voice was strangled by the shame in your throat.

"That's completely normal, sweetheart," Hobi told you. "That's the whole point of being in heat. Everyone wants a knot. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Still, you flushed. "Then why don't you want to?" You asked Yoongi.

"I do!" He answered quickly and then tried to swallow his enthusiasm. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to. I don't want to, but not because I don't want you. I want you so much, princess, honestly. But I want you to feel safe and comfortable and to trust me way more than I want to satisfy some basic instinct for either of us."

"You're still attracted to me, right?" You asked in the shyest voice he's ever heard.

"Yes, princess. We talked about that," he grinned. "But that doesn't mean I need to breed you. Even if you beg for it."

"There are other ways to satisfy those needs, if they become overwhelming," Hobi interjected to point out.

You turned your attention back to him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Typically parents don't really want their adolescent omegas to go around breeding before they're ready. My parents let me use other methods, like plugs and dildos to scratch that itch. It's not the same, but it helps a little with the discomfort," he explained.

"Hobi, I don't know," Yoongi responded when you curled into Jimin's chest to hide your face.

"It's just a suggestion. It might help. I agree that you shouldn't be giving her your knot this time around, but she shouldn't have to suffer." He took your hand and made you look at him. "You've been taught that your body is something you should be ashamed and afraid of, but it isn't. The things you feel are normal and natural. It's okay to feel wary of an alpha. The two of you are still getting to know each other. But it's time for you to stop being afraid of yourself. Understand?"

You nodded slowly. "Can Yoongi and Jimin still like, hold me and kiss me? Or is that off limits too?"

Yoongi chuckled. "Of course. You can have all the cuddles and kisses you want, princess," he told you, stroking your cheek.

Hoseok nodded thoughtfully and sighed. "If there's nothing else, then I think you should go get a shower. Cool, not too hot or cold. A hot shower will pull you down faster, but a cold one will throw you off balance. After, you can put on something soft and new. I washed it all and put it in the wardrobe. If you feel up to it afterwards, then you can come down and eat with us. If not, I'll send the boys up with something."

You agreed and let Jimin help you off the bed, stumbling a little into him and finding that your coordination was already suffering. Hoseok gathered up the blankets in your nest.

"Jimin, you'd better go clean up, too. I'll go get some things washed and ready. I'll get Jin to order some pizza for dinner," Hobi said as he left the room.

"I've got to go out for a bit," Yoongi said, walking out after him.

Your soft whine stopped him in his tracks. "Do you have to work tonight?"

He looked softly down at you. "No, princess. I was off until Wednesday anyway, but I'll be calling in sick until it's over."

"You're coming back, right? I-I didn't scare you away?" The tangible fear in your voice shattered the last intact pieces of his heart. He walked back to where you stood in your doorway and placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Of course not. I'm just going to get a couple things for you. I'll be back in less than an hour. I promise." He kissed you on the forehead to seal it. You whispered an okay and watched him follow Hobi down the stairs before you walked across the hall to the bathroom.

"Are you really going to leave your omega when she's in pre-heat?" Hoseok asked when he heard the bathroom door close and they had reached the first floor.

"I have to. We're going with your plan, so I need to get her some things. Clock's ticking," Yoongi said as he searched around for his wallet and keys.

"Tae's already out. I can call him and have him make a stop," Hoseok said casually as he walked toward the laundry room.

"Taehyung is not buying my omega a knot plug," Yoongi said firmly and loudly. A little too loudly. In the kitchen, Jungkook choked on his drink and sputtered onto Jin.

"A what?" The beta asked as he wiped at his face.

"Don't worry about it," Hoseok said as he walked by. "Go on, Yoongi. I won't waste your time riling you up for my own amusement tonight. Hurry back."

Yoongi grumbled something unintelligible before he left the room.

"What was that about?" Jin asked after the front door closed. "Why does she need a knot plug when she has her alpha now?"

"She's not ready for all that," Hobi said softly. "And that's all anyone needs to know."

"Is it going to be like last time?" Jungkook wondered.

"For the four of you, pretty much. I'm expecting you to show some self-control. I'll be helping them as much as I can, so I won't be able to keep you in line. I don't want you or Namjoon so much as looking at her door. Not that it will be much of a problem for you," Hobi mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jin asked.

"I know you don't like her much. Hopefully that makes it easier to stay away."

Jin sighed. "I don't have anything against her, honestly. I'm staying away for Yoongi, and because I know she's scared. Joon–well, l don't know how he feels about it, but you don't have to worry about him. I'd worry about Taehyung if I were you."

"Why?"

"He's sniffing around her. I know you've noticed."

Hoseok shrugged. "Tae likes her. He won't do anything about it though. He knows she's fragile, and he won't do anything until she wants him to. He's harmless."

"If you say so," Jin shrugged. "Do you want me to stick around this week, just in case?"

"That's not necessary. We can handle it. I would bet on you needing to make time for me by the end of the week, if it's anything like last time," Hobi told him and the alpha nodded, trying not to look too excited about it.

When Yoongi returned forty-two minutes later, you and Jimin were both sitting at the kitchen table eating pizza, dressed in silky soft pajamas. Hoseok stood behind your chair, gently combing out your hair while Jungkook stood over Jimin with a towel, wringing the water from his hair. But what struck Yoongi was how happy the two of you looked. Jimin must have scented you a bit because that was the only time you ever looked so giddy. The beta, too, looked very giggly, but Jungkook always had the ability to make him that way.

"Did I miss something?" Yoongi asked after he stashed the bag he'd brought in by the stairs instead of bringing it into the kitchen.

"Nothing really. Just some sweet smelling pups," Hobi smiled. Yoongi could tell he was living a dream come true with your hair in his hands.

"My sweet smelling pups," Yoongi responded.

"Yeah, yeah." Hobi bent down to your ear, but spoke loudly enough for all to hear, "Alpha's so territorial."

You swallowed, but couldn't hide the heat in your cheeks. Yoongi replied with a non threatening growl.

"Yoon, your hair is wet, too," Jungkook said, walking over with the towel he had used on Jimin.

"I'm okay, Kookie." He ducked the towel coming for his head.

Jungkook shushed him. "Stubborn alpha."

"Is it raining out?" Jin asked.

"Pouring. It's supposed to storm off and on all night. You can't hear the thunder?"

They all shook their heads. They'd been laughing since the pizza got here. Over nothing even. It seemed like your scent in the air had loosened them all up, almost like they were intoxicated by you. Your sweet pheromones had become like a social lubricant, making everything easier between all of you. Something sick and familiar twisted in Yoongi's gut. He should be happy everything was so harmonious—and part of him certainly was—but it grated against his own jealousy that wanted to hide you away for himself, just a little longer.

"Come eat, alpha," your sweet voice broke through, and his dark clouds cleared. "You can sit by me," you added shyly, as if he wouldn't want to.

Without giving a second thought to the feelings of a moment ago, he did as you suggested and sat to eat. He'd need every calorie to put every bit of energy into looking after you. You pulled your chair closer to his and he looked down at you surprised.

"I'm glad you came back," you whispered while the others talked.

"I told you I would," he replied.

"I know, and I tried really hard to believe it. I was just scared and I…i don't want to lose you," you admitted.

Yoongi gave you a tight smile as he stroked your hair. "You won't. No matter what happens, in the next few days or in the future, I'll be right here. I'll be yours. You don't have to worry."

He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and pulled away to see you smiling, a little dopey, your eyes shining bright. "Okay."

You let him eat, but stuck close by his side, swatting at Jimin's hands when he tried to pull you away. Yoongi grinned like an idiot and teased him about being your favorite.

"She's in heat, and you're her alpha. It doesn't mean anything," Jimin grumbled back.

When he noticed you begin to sag, not less happy but beginning to look more tired, Hobi grabbed your purple blanket from the dryer and whisked you upstairs. It was time for your first heat nest, as well as your first nest for your pack. They looked on from the hallway, your alpha and beta, but you tried not to look back at them.

"Do you think…?" You felt very nervous, afraid you wouldn't be able to provide the comfort they were used to.

"Don't think about it," Hobi told you. "Remember, the nest isn't for them. It's for you, and they're just lucky to be there. Only worry about what you need tonight."

Maybe your nest ended up a little asymmetrical as you tried your best to make it bigger for the three of you. Only you and Hobi noticed, and no one said a thing. It was cozy and warm and enough for your pack. That was all that mattered right now. When you had each pillow and blanket where you felt it should go, you turned to the boys. They only looked back at you, so you walked to the door and grabbed Jimin by the wrist to pull him over to the bed. Never one to pass up the opportunity to tease, he merely stood there, waiting for you to puppet him into position, to place him like one of your soft pillows. When you looked up at him with large pleading eyes, he still didn't respond. You huffed and pushed him on the bed, to which he only giggled as he flopped over. Yoongi was much more eager to please. His smile looked like it might crack his face in half as he went to his designated spot. Then you looked back at Hobi.

"All that's left is you, pup," he smiled softly at you.

You bit your lip before you found your voice to speak. "Is it good?"

"That's for you to decide, and for that you have to get in," he urged, gently guiding you to the side of the bed where you had put Yoongi. "But from here it looks very good, little one."

You looked doubtfully at your nest for a moment, wondering how to go about getting into it, before Yoongi grabbed you by your waist and lifted you in to lay between him and Jimin. The beta didn't waste a second wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your neck playfully.

"This is definitely one of the best nests I've ever been in," he said as he probed your scent gland with his nose.

Yoongi smiled at the two of you before he looked back at Hobi. He thought the omega looked almost longing, as if he wished he could be in there, too. "Thank you, Hobah," Yoongi said softly when he caught the alpha watching.

"I didn't do anything," Hobi replied.

Yoongi shook his head. "We wouldn't be here without you. You've helped a lot."

Hobi sighed, "Well, I'll just be down the hall if you need anything."

Before he could leave, Yoongi reached out to take his hand and pulled him closer. He placed a kiss on the omega's lips and whispered another thanks.

"Goodnight, pups. Sleep well," he said before leaving the room, but Jimin was already taking your mind far away.

The thunder didn't start up again until you were already asleep, well and deeply off to dreamland after Jimin and Yoongi scented you into a happy puddle between them. Jimin's lavender had been getting stronger over the past couple of weeks. He might not have noticed it, but you had. As he drove your scent higher and higher, his own followed suit. Tonight, his soothing smell soaked the pillow under your head as well as the air around you, and maybe that's why your usually awful dreams were just slightly less so.

Maybe you had taken some of the power out of the memories when you told the three of them earlier.

Maybe, for once, you just felt safe.

You always dreamed about that first heat every time after that. It was one of the things you wanted to avoid when you decided to use the pills to escape the endless cycles. Sometimes you dreamed that when you were alone at night in the woods, animals came and tore you apart with their teeth. Sometimes other villains from your past waited to give you fitting punishment for the transgression of being what you were born to be.

Tonight, after your parents dropped you off at the edge of the trees, the sky grew dark with rain clouds, and thunder cracked loudly overhead. You screamed, and a hand reached out to grab your shoulder. As you tried to squirm away, hiding your face to avoid a blow, you heard his voice. Quiet and steady.

"It's okay, princess. I'm here." It was Yoongi's voice speaking to you in the darkness, and he took you in his arms. "It's just a storm."

He pulled you to your feet and you began to walk deeper into the forest.

"Where are we going?" You asked as you stumbled along beside him.

"I'm taking you home," he answered.

Another loud clap of thunder rumbled the whole house, and your eyes snapped open. Your fists tightened around Yoongi's shirt.

"It's okay, princess. It's just a storm. I'm right here." His soft voice was followed by lips pressed to your forehead.

"Where are we?" You asked.

"We're at home. We're in your nest. It's safe and perfect. You did such a good job pup," he complimented, his arms secured around you.

You relaxed against him, letting go of his t-shirt, and pressed your forehead to his collarbone. "I'm really glad you like it."

Yoongi hummed appreciatively. "You're my favorite part though."

Butterflies rustled their wings in your stomach and you pressed yourself closer "Sorry for waking you."

"You didn't. Go back to sleep, little one. I'll be here, watching over you."

You couldn't fight the command, either because you were eager to do as he asked or because your eyes were already heavy and closing on their own. It really didn't matter.

Yoongi wasn't naive enough to believe that the next several days were going to be easy for him. He knew it would take a level of self-restraint that he'd never had to possess before. But it would be worth it if he could make you feel safe.

He hadn't pictured waking up with his leg between yours while you grind your heat against his thigh. Your mouth was wet and warm as you kissed and licked at his collar bone. At first, he didn't know what he should do. He didn't mind. Not in the slightest. He was more than happy to lay there and offer you any relief he could. But he was cognizant enough to realize that your actions might progress into more complicated territory, if he let it, and the farther you got, the harder it would be to stop or change course.

Yoongi turned more onto his side, raising his hand to your back before sliding it up to your hair. His grip was firm but gentle as he held you a few inches away from him.

"Good morning, princess," he said softly and watched you smile. Your eyes were completely glazed over, but you looked so happy. He kept you there for several more seconds before you started to whine.

"Alpha," was the only word to pass your lips, and it came out desperately. Your hips, which had paused before, began to move in circular motions again, and your whines deepened in pitch until they became moans. Warm, gooey apple pie coated his tongue and his skin as it fluffed out from your scent glands. The deep primal place within him that mirrors yours began to rumble in his chest, a satisfied growl that told him this was right. You were his omega, and he had you oh so close at last. He brought your mouth to his in a teeth-clashing, devouring kiss that you happily reciprocated. Yoongi's other arm wound around your back, pulling your chest against his. Nothing but the thin fabric of the soft pajamas you both wore stood between your bodies. He couldn't get enough of you, and he wanted you to get all of him that you needed, so he held you firmly and let you continue your writhing against him.

It wasn't long before your movement woke Jimin, too. For a moment, he was confused, having never woken up in your nest before. But he turned over to see you pressed against Yoongi, both oblivious to him as you kissed. He sat up quickly, wondering if Yoongi had already lost his self-control so quickly and was relieved to see you both had your clothes on still. A smirk crossed his lips at how greedily you kissed Yoongi. With Hoseok, there were always so many partners to focus on, so many other bodies in the room. He never looked quite as hungry as you did now. And Yoongi never quite got to have his way with Hoseok the way he was with you now, giving you his complete and undivided attention. At least until Jimin reached out and touched your waist, at which point he pulled away just far enough to let out a feral growl.

You let out a sound, half whine, half moan, but Jimin just laughed.

"Calm down, hyung. It's just me," he said as he ran his fingers into Yoongi's hair and pulled slightly. "It's just Jiminie."

In response, Yoongi gave a happy grumble and raised his head to get a kiss from Jimin. The beta nipped playfully at his lips that you had kissed swollen and pouty. He could taste you all over Yoongi's mouth, and you were as delicious as you smelled. Half laying back down beside you, Jimin pulled you against him, creating a little distance between you and your alpha. He held you firmly at your ribs, just under your breast. A sigh slipped past your lips as Jimin's mouth met your shoulder. His teeth pinched your skin before his soft lips soothed his bites away.

Yoongi, however, wasn't too pleased with having his plaything stolen away and slid down to press kisses to bits of skin that your thin tank top left exposed. Hungry, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbones led to red-turning-purple hickies blooming on the swells at the top of your breasts.

And that's how Hobi found you when he came to bring you breakfast, only to discover you being devoured. He couldn't help a little laugh.

"Look at the three of you, humping like a bunch of horny teenagers."

Three sets of eyes, all black-pitted with arousal, turned in his direction, startled but not alarmed.

"Sorry to interrupt, pups, but I think I did you a favor. You need something to eat and drink." He set a tray at the end of the bed and knelt on the wooden chest to chat with you all. Well, with Jimin and Yoongi. Their eyes were slowly returning to normal while yours remained somewhat clouded, too far down in omega space to come up simply because someone brought in food. Yoongi helped you sit up, though it was really more like leaning you against him. Jimin pulled up the top of your shirt, but it did nothing to hide the darkening bruises.

"How was last night?" Hoseok asked as Yoongi plucked a tangerine from the tray of food and quickly peeled the rind in one piece. He tore away a slice and pressed it to your lips.

"Eat it," he chuckled when you only looked up at him, and you opened your mouth just enough for him to slide it past your lips. "It was fine. She had a couple nightmares, but I think it was the storms, and she calmed down soon after."

Jimin hummed as he took a sip of coffee. "It would make sense that she doesn't like storms," Jimin thought aloud, as if you weren't there, and in a way, you weren't. You didn't process much of what they said but only stared at Yoongi's lips, waiting to be given another bite. It wasn't the food you craved, but your alpha's attention.

"Why?" Hobi asked, watching you fixate on Yoongi. He wondered if he looked that cute and absorbed in his alphas.

"I mean, all that time she spent on the street, she probably has weathered a few bad ones. And then there was the night she came home…"

Hobi shuttered at the thought of you alone and wet. But sitting as you were now with Yoongi, there was nothing but happiness and safety visible around you.

"You're safe now, aren't you, pup?" Yoongi cooed as his thumb lingered over your bottom lip.

"See if she'll take some of the eggs," Hobi suggested, handing him a bowl of scrambled eggs. "She needs protein, too. Sometimes you guys forget."

There were forks on the tray, but Yoongi didn't bother with it. The eggs were firm enough for him to grab a bite with his fingers. Now you eagerly opened your mouth for him, lightly licking his fingertips when they touched your tongue. It could have been gross, but if the way the three men watched you was any indication, it was clearly erotic. Hobi watched Yoongi feed you a couple more bites before he snapped out of it.

"How is she handling…her urges?" He asked, struggling to find a way to put it delicately. Normally he wouldn't bother, but with you the whole topic felt more sensitive.

Yoongi shrugged.

"They were already all over each other when I woke up," Jimin answered.

"She was all over me when I woke up!" Yoongi defended. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Control yourself a little, maybe?" Hoseok suggested.

"I was! I would have stopped it before it got any farther," Yoongi said, but he wasn't completely convincing.

"Yoon." Hobi looked into the alpha's eyes deeply and they stared at one another for a long moment.

"Don't worry guys. That's what I'm here for. I promise not to let him go too far," Jimin interrupted.

Hobi sighed and lowered his eyes to the tray of food. "Can you guys handle this?"

"We can!" Jimin answered. "I promise. We've got this. I'm not going to let her get hurt."

"Well, then I guess I'll go get her dildos ready for when the time comes," Hoseok said with an eye roll as he hauled himself up from his seat.

"I didn't buy her dildos! There will be no fucking! It's just to ease her discomfort," Yoongi responded.

"Gosh, you're so sensitive right now, Yoongles," Hobi snickered. His mocking was all for Yoongi, not for you. Yet deep down, the omega was proud of him for making these choices for you. Most alphas probably wouldn't. Most would either try to convince an omega to do something they weren't comfortable with or leave the omega alone to deal with it themselves. The fact that Yoongi, and even Jimin, was willing to go through the discomfort of not being able to care for you in the traditional way filled Hobi with pride.

He left the room, picking up the black bag Yoongi had brought home last night on his way to the bathroom across the hall. With the door shut, he removed not one but two silicone plugs. At the store, Yoongi had realized how unprepared he was. He didn't know what size you would need. One the one hand, you were so tiny, it didn't seem like anything but the smallest would fit inside of you, but on the other, his inner voice had told him you'd need to feel nice and full to be comfortable. In the end, he chose a smaller one and another he thought was comparable to his own size and rushed home. But at least he'd thought about getting the special cleanser, too. The pack wasn't big into sex toys, having more than enough appendages of all sizes to go around. Hobi carefully removed the plugs from their packaging and cleaned them thoroughly. Then he placed them in a soft, clean towel and took them back across the hall, setting them on top of your dresser.

He sighed and wiped his hands on his pants. "Okay, so, they should be ready…whenever you need them."

He went to go grab the tray off the bed, which the boys had mostly cleared off. Yoongi watched the omega while chewing the inside of his check. When their eyes met, he decided to speak.

"I was kind of hoping you'd be here to help," he said quickly and softly. His cheeks heating with shame and a flurry of other emotions. Yoongi could fuck with the best of them. Of the alphas, only he and Taehyung had ever been with women. But Yoongi was still at a loss of how to do this, and how to handle you. In his heart, he was terrified of hurting you, or scaring you and ruining everything. Maybe it was wrong to use Hobi as a crutch, but he needed it.

Hoseok froze, half crouched with the tray in his hands. His eyes slid from Yoongi over to you where you buried your face in Yoongi's shoulder. He was uncharacteristically speechless, and spent several long seconds searching for words.

"Oh…um…well. I didn't realize you'd actually need me for that part," he admitted. "I have some things I need to do right now."

"Not right now, no. I don't think she's there yet. It might not be until later. But I–I think we need you, Hobi." The desperation in Yoongi's vice only made things more difficult for the omega.

"I don't know, Yoongi. Jin…I don't know if he would like it."

Yoongi hung his head. He couldn't argue with that. There wasn't necessarily any reason for Jin to disapprove. It wouldn't interfere with anything regarding Hoseok or Jin's pack. Not really. But you were part of Yoongi's pack, and Hoseok was not. And you weren't Jin's either. This was new and uncharted territory, but Yoongi realized he really wasn't in a position to ask this much. Seokjin had been as good as he could be expected to be in the last few weeks, and to ask any more might be pushing their luck.

"Right. I understand," Yoongi sighed.

"It's not that I don't want to help, Yoon–"

Yoongi held up a hand. "No. No, I get it. I shouldn't have asked. It's too much to ask. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Hoseok said softly.

"No. It's alright. You can go." Yoongi said it quietly enough that Hobi knew he wasn't mad, but he could help feeling that the alpha seemed defeated, and his stomach swirled with guilt. He lowered his eyes and backed out of the room. Just before the door closed, he heard Jimin's voice:

"Don't worry, hyung. We'll work it out."

Hobi carried the tray down to the kitchen and set it on the counter next to the sink. He inhaled deeply and exhaled to release the tension in his shoulders. Instead of immediately starting on the dishes, he decided to seek out Taehyung.

Although he hadn't seen the youngest alpha get up, he'd seen the pack's bedroom door open, so he knew he must be around somewhere. He wasn't playing games in the living room, so Hobi looked for him in the sun room at the front of the house that had been granted to him as his art studio. But he wasn't there either. So Hobi went to the backdoor and slipped into someone's slides. Noticing the door to the detached garage was open, he set off across the spacious backyard in that direction.

Inside the dusty outbuilding was an assortment of things that Hoseok either hadn't yet found a place for or wasn't willing to let go of, alongside tools and Hobi's ambitions for a blooming garden by the time summer came around, but no cars. He did, however, find his alpha. Taehyung must have been lost in thought because he jumped a little when Hobi spoke.

"What's an alpha like you doing all the way out here?" He asked in that teasing voice he seemed to love using most on Tae.

"I thought I'd get started on your garden finally," he said flatly. "If we keep putting it off, the season will go by."

"You need to start today?"

"It's a beautiful day," Tae countered. Hoseok didn't miss the fact that the alpha hadn't looked at him once since he walked in, so he stepped forward to place a hand on his cheek. The two men were almost exactly the same height, so it wasn't difficult for Hobi to meet him eye to eye.

"Is something on your mind?" He asked. Tae closed his eyes and took a breath, breathing in the scent of you.

"It's just kind of strange, y'know. Spending time with her yesterday, I guess I felt like I was on the inside track, and now I feel so far outside. I just want to see her and talk to her and…"

"Fuck her brains out?"

"I'm not a pig, Hoseok…. But I am an alpha so like just a little bit. Yeah, I guess," he chuckled while his ears reddened. "I just want to spend some time outside until the others come back, so you don't have to worry about me."

Hoseok smiled as he placed his other hand on the other side of Tae's face and stroked his beautiful high cheekbones. "That's fine, baby boy. It's good to keep yourself busy," he agreed before he kissed his lips gently. "You're doing a great job. And I'm sure as soon as this is all over, you'll be right back where you were with her."

Taehyung's eyes sparked with hope. "I hope so. How is she doing?"

Hoseok attempted to keep his smile in place, but Taehyung knew it well enough to see how the corners of his lips drooped. "She's getting through it. It's not easy for her. It doesn't mean to her what it means to us. Not yet anyway."

Taehyung frowned. "Do you ever see her and think how lucky you are that you got to grow up with your family?" Hobi hummed. "The ways she doesn't know how to be herself are more heartbreaking than the scars of how people have hurt her."

"I'm trying my best–" Hoseok's voice broke at the thought of continuing your life as you'd been living it.

"You're doing so well with her. Sometimes, I think the luckiest thing will be her having you. Not to disrespect Yoongi hyung, but he can only make her physically safe. Which is important but…I don't know if it would ever matter if you weren't there to stop her from hurting herself on the inside."

Hoseok lowered his eyes and shook his head. "Sometimes the things she says make me so mad, if they came from anyone else, I'd slap them right in the mouth."

Taehyung laughed. "Well, don't do that, and I think she'll keep learning from you. You're good for her."

"I'm just doing my best. I can't fix her."

"You don't have to fix her. I know you love her. That's enough."

Hobi thought it over for a moment. "I guess I do…like I would a child."

Tae snorted. "Sure, hyung. Like a child."

Hoseok went back into the house to take care of the dishes from the morning. There were no sounds coming from upstairs. Your scent filled the house, but it remained even. Maybe you had fallen asleep in your pack's arms. Regardless, he couldn't keep his thoughts from you. His help was needed, and he wanted to give it, but how far could he go to do that?

Yoongi and Jin had drawn lines around you that were clear and solid for the members of the two packs living in his house, but not for Hobi. No one could exactly tell the pack omega what to do, not even Jin, but that didn't necessarily mean he would do whatever he pleased. Even though helping you through this ordeal wouldn't impact Hoseok and his upcoming heat in any way, that didn't mean he was free to lend himself out for…sexual services. But it wasn't like you were an alpha or that Hobi would get any gratification from helping you. His head spun with the ramifications, and his stomach twisted into knots as he scrubbed dish after dish.

Finally, he decided to do the only thing he could do when he struggled to make a decision. He called his husband.

"Hello, my love. Is everything okay?" Jin asked when he answered his phone. It wasn't common for Hoseok to call him in the morning at work.

"Yeah, everyone's fine," Hobi answered, but he couldn't hide the shake in his voice from Jin, and the silence that lingered after didn't help to sell it.

Jin smiled. He knew if something was really wrong that Hoseok wouldn't hesitate to say it, so there must be something on his mind, and whatever it was made him shy. "What is it, Seokkie?"

The omega blushed at the infrequently used pet name. It made him feel like a boy again. It had been Jungkook who started calling him Hobi, and now Jin only used 'Seokkie' when they were alone or he wanted to be particularly intimate. It reminded them both of just how long their love story was and how deeply they knew one another. Hoseok explained your predicament to his husband in a rush of words, like ripping off a bandaid.

"I see," Jin responded when he'd finished, not knowing what else to say.

"If you don't want me to do it, then I won't," Hobi added.

Jin chuckled. "You're asking for my permission? Since when?"

"This is serious Jinnie."

The alpha took a beat to appreciate that. Hoseok was right. He'd explained your history to Jin last night, so he knew just how fragile you were on the subject. He didn't expect to hear how Yoongi struggled. "Do you want to do it for Yoongi or for her?"

Hobi sighed. "Both? I don't know. I want her to feel okay. I want to help him avoid doing something he'll regret later. I want everyone to feel happy. Including you. Including me."

Jin considered that. He tried to consider how Yoongi must feel, only being able to offer his omega this small bit of relief instead of what he would naturally want to give you. But he knew that Yoongi wasn't really the obstacle to helping you. It was him. It was knowing that you were Yoongi's in the way that Hobi was his. And as much as Hobi could go his own way on things, he'd never disrespect Jin or disregard his feelings. "Do you think she'll be part of our pack one day? Is that a possibility?"

Hobi's tone brightened. "I really do! She's trying very hard, Jinnie. She's listening and learning. And I think she trusts me. I think she could trust you."

Jin conceded. "I'm not going to stop you, my love. If you want to help them, it's fine with me. But only if you're comfortable with it, and not because Yoongi is in over his head."

Hoseok felt some of the pressure lift off his chest. "Okay." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Look, I don't know if this will even happen today, let alone when. So I might be busy when you come home."

"Don't worry, love. I'll take the other boys out for dinner. We'll get our time with you later this week." Hoseok could hear the happiness in his tone, but he didn't dwell on it. Those feelings would have to wait a few days. They said their goodbyes and hung up with Hobi feeling a bit lighter. But he'd be lying if he said Jin had alleviated all his worries.

He had permission now, but that didn't mean that he would be able to do.

Hoseok had never been with another omega before, let alone a woman. And he knew Yoongi said it wasn't fucking, but was still intimate and sexual, and he didn't think he had any idea what to do down there, with you. He knew you weren't that different, but you were different enough for him to feel scared.

But even that wasn't the real issue that he was afraid of facing. Hoseok cared for you deeply. He wouldn't say it to your face because he's just not serious like that, but he could even think he loved you. Maybe not quite in a paternal way, but as a mentor, an older brother; as someone whose job it was to teach you about life. He didn't want to see you as an object of attraction. He didn't want to acknowledge how his heart fluttered yesterday as you tried on outfit after outfit, or how his breath catches when he sees you really smile, much less how fucking good you smell during your heat, when your scent coats the back of his throat, or how sexy your lips looked touching Yoongi's fingers this morning. Hobi wasn't ready to be attracted to you or in love with you. It wasn't on his list of things to do with you.

Footsteps on the stairs pulled Hoseok from his thoughts, and he looked up to see Jimin round the corner with his phone to his ear, giving him a remorseful look. He took his cue to go upstairs and check on how things were going. It had been about an hour since he'd left your room, and he wondered if something had happened. He opened the door quietly and poked his head in.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

Yoongi's attention snapped from the phone in his hand to the omega. "Yeah, fine. I was just about to text you. Jimin had to take a call from work, and I really have to go to the bathroom. Would you mind staying with her for a few minutes? She's asleep, but I don't want her to wake up alone."

"Of course. No problem," Hobi nodded. Normally, for him, there were enough packmates that he would never be left alone. Not that he couldn't be left alone, but it was a bit distressing, particularly during the headier moment of heat, to find oneself all alone. And given that this was your first heat in a while to not spend alone—your first one to spend with them—it made sense that Yoongi wouldn't want to leave you in your own. It would cause him a different kind of distress to do so.

Yoongi gently rolled you off of his chest so that you lay on your back and he could free his arm. He got up quietly and quickly left the room. When you were alone, you rolled into your other side and whimpered softly. You bent one leg up towards your body, while the other one stuck straight out toward Hobi. He couldn't help but be fascinated by your little feet. They seemed too small to be able to carry you through the world, yet their wear and callouses showed they worked hard to do just that. Seeing how tiny they were reminded him of how quietly you moved through the house. He was still trying to learn the sounds of your footsteps and of your breathing so that he'd be able to recognize you just by that, the way he could the rest of his pack.

It wasn't a secret even though he was trying to hide it, that Hobi already thought of you as his. He'd waited a long time for an omega like you. Someone like him that he could share this pack with, through its highs and lows and day to days.

He didn't realize he was holding onto your foot, stoking his thumb over the bulge of your ankle, until you spoke his name.

"Hobi?" You asked, voice gravelly and thick with sleep.

"It's just me, pup," he nodded.

You looked around at your surroundings and noticed he was right. It was just him and you. The air around you felt cold, sending goosebumps down your arms despite your internal heat. You weakly raised a hand toward him. "Will you come lay with me?"

Hoseok swallowed and stood up slowly to walk to the edge of the bed on the side Jimin took. When he looked in your eyes, they were clearer than they had been this morning. He stood silently, looking at you, for a long moment before either of you spoke. "I've never been in your nest before, pup."

"I'm inviting you in now. Please come lay down," you said so softly he could barely hear it.

But he took it genuinely and climbed in over the perimeter to where you laid. He settled several inches from you, but you scooted closer, forcing him to hold you. He knew you'd never do that if you weren't in your current condition, but he didn't refuse you. Instead, he managed to get one arm under your head while the other stroked up and down your back. You pressed your head into his chest and breathed in deep.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your scent?" You asked. He shook his head, unable to form words around the sudden tightness in his chest, as if his heart and lungs were too big for his ribcage. "It's so warm and comforting to me. Your scent is on every surface in this house, and it smells like love."

Your voice was so dreamy, Hobi wasn't sure if you knew what you were saying, but it filled him with warmth regardless, and his scent fluffed around you. Your hands fisted around his shirt, and you buried your face in him. He liked you like this, uninhibited, taking what you wanted and needed without feeling shy. It was easy to wrap his arms around you and hold you closer. He could only hope you felt as safe with him as you truly were.

Yoongi returned pleasantly surprised to find both of his omegas tangled up in your nest. You had already fallen back asleep and Hobi appeared to be studying every hair on your head. His eyes turned up to meet Yoongi's and the alphas wide smile broke across his face.

"You certainly made yourself at home," Yoongi teased as he closed the door.

"She invited me."

"I know you wouldn't be here if she hadn't."

"What are you looking at?" Hoseok asked when Yoongi continued to stare.

"Just enjoying this moment. Jin would be so jealous if he knew what I had all to myself right now."

Hobi rolled his eyes. "It's not a competition."

"We're alphas. It's always a competition."

Yoongi placed his knees behind your back and leaned over you to kiss Hoseok. The omega's lips were dry, but Yoongi licked across them and they parted, letting him deepen the kiss.

Hoseok chuckled and pulled back as much as he could in his position. "What are you doing?"

Yoongi shrugged and moved to lay behind you. "Just telling you I love you." He laid his hand on the curve of your side. "She idolizes you, you know?"

Hoseok's eyes widened. "I don't think so."

"She does. She talks about the things you teach her and tell her, like you're some revered master. She wants your approval. Even more than I think she wants mine." Yoongi's eyes roamed over your body, wondering if you heard them.

"It's not about my approval," Hobi whispered.

"I know that. She said to me a few weeks ago that she wants to be good so she can stay. I think she's starting to get that there isn't anything she can do that will make me send her away. But she is afraid of disappointing you. I know she isn't perfect, but don't be too hard on her, please?" Yoongi locked eyes with him, and Hobi could see his sincerity in those depths.

"Tae mentioned earlier that she makes him feel lucky, I guess because even if he lost his family, he still knew them, and he learned enough from them not to let the world get him down. She doesn't have that. I don't want her to be exactly like me. I just don't want her to be all the things they've made her believe she is. It hurts too much. And if it hurts me, with all the advantages I have, I can't possibly imagine how much damage it does to her," Hobi concluded. He gently brushed hair out of your face with the lightest of touches, relieved to see that you were still soundly asleep.

Before Yoongi could find any way to respond, the door opened once again and Jimin entered.

"Is everything okay?" Yoongi asked.

"Everything is fine. Just some alphas who need to work their shit out, but it's not my problem today, and that's what I told them." Jimin climbed over the chest at the end of the bed and up to the perimeter of your nest.

"They gave you a hard time?"

Jimin shook his head. "Taehyung on the other hand…well he's getting very sweaty in the backyard right now, and it was a little distracting," he giggled.

"I'm sorry for taking your spot, but I dont think I'm allowed to move," Hobi said without an ounce of remorse.

Jimin shrugged as he moved over the perimeter and laid at the bottom of your nest. "I'm fine right here."

Alpha.

You'd been asleep for a long time. It was your primary mechanism for getting through your heats when you couldn't avoid them. If you were sleeping, you might have bad dreams, but you could avoid the physical sensations associated with your condition. Your sleep since last night had been relatively peaceful, which you could only contribute to the soothing scents of your pack and even hobi, which surrounded you as you slept. But now Yoongi was missing from your nest, and you needed him.

Not just needed him there, but you needed him.

Need alpha's knot now. Please. Your tiny voice in your head begged. You could feel it, the ache between your legs. You could feel the thick, warm slick leaking from you, ready and waiting for your alpha to give you what was yours.

"Alpha," you whined brokenly, alerting the others that you were awake. You had begun to murmur his name a little while ago, seeking him out with your hands and your mouth before you were conscious enough to make a real effort. Hoseok could see that you were now. "Where's alpha," you cried.

"I'm over here, princess," Yoongi breathed from the chair in the corner where he sat, apart from you, but still keeping watch.

"In the nest," you whined.

"I can't be with you right now. I'm sorry," he told you. If you were fully yourself, you'd be able to hear the regret in his voice, but you didn't.

"Why? Give me a knot, alpha. Promise I'll be good. Just need your knot."

Yoongi's hands gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white. "I wish I could, baby." You began to cry, and the sight of your tears made him ache in a way so much stronger than the strain in his muscle to keep himself off of you. He knew it would be hard to deny himself, but he didn't know how hard it would be to deny you. "Hobi, Jimin, please," he croaked.

Suddenly a hand on your ankle grabbed your attention. You looked down and could make out Jimin's face through your tears.

"It's okay, sweet thing. Hobi and I are going to make you feel better," he said soothingly.

"Alpha…doesn't want me."

A growl came low from Yoongi's corner, but you didn't get a chance to look in his direction because another hand was holding your face and demanding your gaze.

"That isn't true," Hobi said firmly. "Your alpha wants you too much for his own good. But he's doing this for you. He cares for you so much, he doesn't want to hurt you. You'll understand when this is all over."

If possible, your features turned even more sad. "When will it be over?" You rasped.

He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. "Hold on for me a while longer, little one. Can Jimin and I help you?"

"Help?"

"We can help make the aching go away. But you have to stop crying first," he told you softly as he continued to dry your cheeks.

You sniffed and scrunched your face, as if you were physically shutting off the tears. Your eyes finally cleared and you looked at Hobi expectantly. "I'll do anything."

He smiled as if he were amused and kissed your cheek. "Good girl. We're gonna make you feel nice and full, okay?"

You gave a muted squeak of excitement. "First let Jimin take off your shorts, okay?"

You nodded and laid back on the nest. Hobi moved away from you, which startled you at first, but Jimin distracted you with his hands, gliding them smoothly up your legs from your ankles to your hips. He hovered over you to capture your mouth with a kiss. His lips were warm and wet. His kiss wasn't shy or chaste, but messy and ravenous as he licked into your mouth. His fingers dug into your thighs as you kissed him back. You lifted your hips up when he gripped your waistband and pulled the shorts down your legs without taking his mouth from yours. Meanwhile, Hoseok got up to grab the smaller of the two fake knots they had prepared for you. When he returned, Jimin redirected his mouth to your neck, giving you soft sucking kisses.

"Okay, little one." He held the plug in front of your face. "This little knot is all yours. I'll help you put it in, and you can keep it as long as you want."

He could see you were a little confused. You looked to your alpha, who was still holding himself back, but looked a little more at ease. Instead of digging into the upholstery, he held his fist around the pair of shorts Jimin had tossed his way.

"Go on, princess. Let alpha see how pretty you look when you're full," he said, his voice coming from deep in his gut.

"Let us see, sweet thing," Jimin hummed in your ear. "You'll feel so nice."

You turned your eyes to Hoseok and nodded your consent.

"If you want a knot, you'll have to ask for it, pup," he said evenly. He was teasing, but he also wanted to make sure you really wanted it.

"Please, please give me a knot," you begged pitifully, rubbing your thighs together as you continued to ache for it. "I need to feel it. Please."

Jimin lapped hungrily at the scent gland under your chin while Hobi moved to your lower half. "You've never smelled sweeter, sweet thing. I wanna eat you up," Jimin teased, making you giggle, distracting you from Hoseok prying your legs apart.

Hoseok can say unequivocally that he's never been this close to a pussy in his life—with the singular exception of when he was born. He was surprised to find himself thinking how cute you are. Your sweet little hole didn't really look like his, but you were just as wet and messy and sweet as he gets. Your labia were puffy and he was sure they ached to feel relief. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he dared to touch his fingers to the rim of your entrance. At the lightest pressure, you clenched around nothing, and Hoseok felt the most unexpected shock of arousal ring through him. He didn't need to think before he pushed the tips of his two middle fingers inside of you. It might be more prudent to start with one, but you were in heat and you were more than ready to take him.

Your answering moan filled the room, and Hoseok was glad that Jin took the others out for dinner because you sounded so heavenly, he didn't think the three of them would be able to stop the other four from barging in.

"Such a pretty sound for me, baby," Jimin cooed while Yoongi melted in his chair, wishing he could be closer, but so happy to hear you were being pleased.

Hoseok pushed one more finger past your slick walls and nearly moaned himself when he felt you squeeze around him.

"You're doing great, little one," he praised as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, feeling your muscles loosen little by little. "Are you ready to take your knot, pup?" He asked when he felt like you'd opened up enough. He took your garbled moan and the way you clenched as a yes.

Hobi spread some of your slick from his fingers onto the plug, though it was hardly necessary. Your hole was dripping with it, and he had felt you gush onto his hand before. He looked up to see your face.

"It might hurt for a second, little one. Tell me to stop if you want me to stop," he instructed, and you nodded your head.

Jimin trailed his mouth down to your breast, pulling down your top to expose a perky little nipple, which he sucked into his mouth. Hobi rubbed the head of the plug over your entrance to coat it with your slick before he slowly pushed it inside of you. Your moans were deep and throaty, and he had to bite back his own arousal as your walls closed in around the silicone head. Despite his fears of hurting you, the toy slid in easily until it was buried fully inside you. It wasn't as long as a real knot, and it didn't have quite the same girth as your alpha, but it fit snugly within your walls, and he could tell it was doing just what they'd wanted when you let out a happy sigh.

Hoseok came to lie at your side and turned your face so he could see your eyes. They were fully glassy and happy as they rolled to look at him. Your debauched expression threatened to steal the better part of his sanity.

"How does that feel, little one?" He breathed.

"So full," you answered and your body wriggled beneath them, but there seemed to be some words hanging, left unsaid, but Hoseok didn't quite know what.

"You can touch yourself, if you want to, sweet thing," Jimin rasped in your ear.

Don't you dare.

You shut your eyes tight and shook your head. "Can't," you hiccuped.

Understanding dawned on Hoseok and he touched your face. "Look at me," he ordered and you obeyed. "You're doing so well, little one. Such a good little omega for us. You can do it."

You shook your head again. "Can't. Bad," you choked out. "Bad."

"No, pup."

"Let me in," Yoongi said, suddenly standing over Hoseok's shoulder.

"Yoongi…"

"I'm not going to do anything I said I wouldn't," Yoongi argued, but his eyes were locked with yours. "Let me hold her."

"Alpha," you whispered, holding a hand out to him, and Hobi had no choice but to relinquish his spot beside you, though he didn't move far.

"I've got you, princess," he soothed when he was pressed to your side with one arm behind your head. "Does it feel good to be so filled up?"

You nodded your head into him, seeking out his neck and his thick scent. But he wouldn't let you turn into him.

"I know, baby. You were made for this. Your body does it so well. But you don't feel totally better yet, do you, princess?"

"No."

Yoongi smiled and kissed your forehead. Taking your hand he murmured, "here, let me show you. It's not bad. It will feel good. You've been so perfect, princess. I want you to feel the best you can."

With his hand covering yours, he guided you down between your legs. He brought your fingers far enough to feel the silicone base of the plug where it was buried inside of you.

"Do you feel that, baby? Alpha gave you that. Do you like it?" He purred in your ear. You whimpered and nodded your head, utterly incapable of forming words with the way his body, his scent and his voice wrapped around your being.

Pulling your hand back just a little, he pressed your fingers to the puffy, sensitive flesh just above. You mewled in pleasure, moving your hips as you squeezed around the knot. He began to circle your fingers around your bud, appreciating the delicate sounds of satisfaction you made as he guided you. When you moaned, Jimin reclaimed your mouth with a kiss, claiming your sounds for his own. Yoongi left his hand on yours but let you set the pace while at the same time letting his other hand cup your breast, squeezing it harshly. Another set of hands—they must have been Hobi's—held your legs apart when they threatened close so that he could continue you watch as you pleasured yourself. When your moans got higher and he knew you were close, Yoongi pressed his fingers down on yours, adding pressure and ensuring you didn't give up until you reached completion.

"Almost there, princess. You've done so well for me. Come for me, and you can keep my knot in you as long as you want," he urged, and you followed where his words and fingers led you, over the edge and into a chasm of pleasure.

Watching you spasm around the knot took Hoseok's breath away. He'd never imagined or wondered what that might be like, but he thought it was beautiful. He wanted to give you orgasm after orgasm just to see your pussy take it again and again. Your legs wanted to close, and he let them. You curled into Yoongi, taking gasping breaths as he held you tightly to his chest and whispered soft praises. Jimin stroked his hand down your side and up again.

By the time Hoseok had cleaned you up with a warm, wet cloth, you were falling asleep in Yoongi's arms once again, the plug still tucked safely away inside of you and a satisfied smile on your lips.

"I'll go get dinner ready. I'm guessing we're all pretty much starving," Hobi said softly, gathering a few things to take out with him to tidy up the place.

As he opened the door, Yoongi transfered you into Jimin's arms. Luckily, you didn't wake, and Yoongi followed the other omega into the hall. Hoseok was just entering your bathroom when Yoongi went in with him.

"What's wrong, Yoongi?" He asked, looking at him with startled eyes. The alpha was disheveled and his eyes were still dark with lust, something Hobi found irresistible.

"Nothing,"Yoongi breathed heavily. "I just wanted to say thank you. You didn't have to help, but you did, so thanks."

Hoseok smirked. "I didn't do it for you, alpha."

"I know. But I wouldn't have been able to get through it without you."

Hoseok's eyes grew darker, his smile more mocking. "Did you get through it, alpha? Looks like you're still pretty worked up to me." He trailed his fingers down Yoongi's chest.

Yoongi's breath turned ragged as Hoseok stepped closer. "Can you blame me?"

"No. It was certainly eye opening," the omega purred. He gripped the front of Yoongi's shirt and pulled him closer. Their lips crashed as he shut the bathroom door.

Yoongi's hands went to the other man's hair as he was pushed against the door. Hobi's teeth nipped the white flesh of yoongi's neck as he palmed fervently at his thick knot, trapped uncomfortably in the confines of his gray sweatpants.

"It's cruel, you know, to flaunt a knot like that in front of an omega."

"I don't need to flaunt anything to drive you crazy, do I, Hobi?"

"You think I'm worked up because of you?" He chuckled and pulled Yoongi's cock free. "Think again, buddy."

"Are you into my omega?" Yoongi smiled against his lips. Nimble fingers pulled a sigh from him.

"I've certainly been into her more than you have."

Yoongi threw his head back with a short laugh. "Trying to make me jealous?"

"Would that get you to shut the hell up and fuck me?"

Yoongi turned the omega around and pinned him to the wall. "That's what you want, omega? Should make you beg for my knot, huh?"

"I'm not opposed. Poor little thing doesn't know what she's missing, though," he smiled as Yoongi shoved down both their pants. "She's so small and tight, alpha. That plug isn't nearly as big as you. Wonder if she can take it."

"Maybe you can show her how to take it next time," Yoongi growled as his fingers found Hoseok's hole. "Fuck, you're wet."

"Not as wet as she was. The sweet little cunt on your omega. Never seen anything like it." A wordless growl echoed off the walls of the bathroom, answered by Hoseok's high pitched moans as Yoongi's fingers found the right spot. "Fuck! Enough. Want your knot alpha. Give me everything you can't give her."

"Don't want to hurt you," Yoongi said, voice gravelly.

"You won't. I know I can take you. Need you, alpha."

Yoongi didn't waste a moment. He pulled Hoseok's hips out, forcing his chest down, so he could align himself at his wet, pink entrance. Once he entered him, he plunged into Hobi's depths with ease. The omega braced himself against the wall as his alpha set a brutal pace. His cries of pleasure were not quiet, but only you and Jimin were there to hear, and you were dead to the world.

"Fuck, yes. Have to teach her to take you like this. Would you like that, alpha? Want me to teach her everything I know?"

"Ah," Yoongi groaned as Hobi clenched around him, his slick making a mess of them both and dripping down his legs. "Don't think she'd ever learn to talk like you. You've got a whore's mouth, you know that?"

"You love it."

"I do. Now shut the fuck up so I can come. I'm fucking close, baby."

Hoseok stayed stone still while Yoongi pounded into him, burying himself to the hilt when his knot began to inflate and he came with tired breaths.

"Are you okay, baby?" Yoongi asked, stroking down his omegas back as he waited. These moments when he connected to his mates were always the most clear, filled with tenderness and love, no matter what words or deeds had brought them there.

"Feel perfect, Yoon. You always make me feel so good. Missed you."

"I'm sorry. I know I've been distracted lately." He pressed a soft kiss to Hobi's spine as an apology.

Hobi shook his head as he leaned heavily against the wall. "Didn't say it to make you feel sorry. It's been a while since we had a moment like that. Like that I can be free with you. Makes things so fun."

"We do tend to have fun," Yoongi agreed. "Come here," he said softly when his knot had deflated. He brought Hoseok to the edge of the bathtub and began to fill it with warm water. Then he helped him in and got in behind him, letting the omega lay his back against his chest.

"You don't have to stay here with me. I know you're probably anxious to get back to her," Hobi told him after they'd been sitting in the water for a few minutes.

"I am, but I'm not anxious to leave you. The truth is, I've missed you too. I know things never quite went back to usual and now, things will never be the way they were. I feel a little…guilty." Yoongi cupped water in his hand and let it wash down his lover's chest.

"Don't. It's true, she'll change everything. But everything wasn't so good. Maybe it was a change we needed. I believe it will be for the best, in the end."

Yoongi hummed. "I also feel guilty because I won't be there for your heat."

"I know," Hobi answered, dragging his fingers up the legs that encircled him. "It's not a big deal. I have everyone else. It's not a big thing to me anymore. You need to focus on her."

"I love you, you know that?"

"I do. And I love you too."

After quickly washing, the pair left the tub, lingering a bit longer over each other's bodies as they dried off before they fetched new pajamas.

"Go on and be with her," Hoseok told him at the top of the stairs. "I'm gonna go put together something to eat, and I'll be there soon."

Yoongi slipped back into your room, quickly meeting the eyes of a very smug looking Jimin.

"What?"

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Jimin asked as he petted down your arm.

Yoongi scoffed. "Did you? Why are you both shirtless? Is she still asleep?"

You moaned and turned a fraction toward his voice as he climbed back into the nest.

"She took her shirt off herself and it seemed rude not to join her. She gave me a couple hickies, too, so now we really match. Isn't that right, sweet thing?" Jimin asked with a light pinch to your side.

You giggled softly. "Mini nice."

"What did you do to her?" Yoongi asked with a smile as you turned to him with a bright, if dazed, one of your own.

"Nothing. It's just the hormones. She seems to be enjoying all the touching."

You managed to move onto your knees, tottering a bit when the plug moved, but you kept it from slipping out. "No," you said with a cute but firm pout as you tugged at the hem of Yoongi's shirt.

"You want my shirt off, too, princess?" Yoongi asked innocently. You nodded and continued to pull. "That's no problem." He tugged the garment over his head and threw it onto the chest where your extra blankets were stored. Then he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you against him. "Better?"

You nodded and maneuvered yourself into his lap, pushing him into a reclining position with you on his chest.

"My alpha," you whispered after you rested your cheek against his shoulder. Yoongi's heart stuttered, feeling at once the weight and the joy of the trust you placed in him.

Fool. You let them make you feel safe. But they're just preparing you to breed. They'll need to know if you can handle it. Why else would Hobi be there? He needs a baby, and he's going to get it from you.

You had awoken to a dark room. Your packmates slept beside you. Only a few hours ago had they decided they were ready to sleep and helped you get cleaned and ready for a good night's sleep. You'd kept the plug in for hours until you felt truly sated. But already you were feeling the emptiness ache at you. Your voices had no problem filling the void.

Would that be the worst thing? I need it. Need alpha.

And when you fail? Will he still be your good alpha then? Or worse, what if you die this time?

"Stop it. Shut up!" You called out without thinking.

Yoongi, who had turned on his side away from you, flipped over in an instant. "What's wrong? What happened?"

To his horror, you pulled away, just like you did your first time with them, until you collided with Jimin on your other side. "What do you want?"

Yoongi's voice softened in the darkness, although you couldn't see more than a shadowy figure. "Nothing, princess. Just want to make sure you're okay. Did you have a nightmare?"

"No."

A light clicked on behind you. Yoongi's features were soft but full of worry. He held his hands open to show you he wasn't a threat. But the dissonance of the danger your mind wanted you to fear and the gentle man in front of you made your head buzz. You struggled to make sense of what was real and what was your imagination. Was it possible that Yoongi was truly a good man who kept his promises and wouldn't hurt you? Or were your voices correct, warning you that his behavior was all to lure you into security so he could do what he wanted with you? Sometimes, your own brain could be your biggest enemy, but there was no denying that it often tried to keep you out of danger as well.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder, followed by soft lips on your warm back. You jerked away, scrambling backward and almost over the edge of the bed. Yoongi caught onto the only part of you he could reach, your leg, to keep you from falling. In the light, he could see that your eyes were the clearest they had been all day, and yet they were full of fear. Fear of them. He let go of you immediately.

"Baby, everything is okay. You're safe. You're at home with us," he tried to ground you with his voice, afraid that touching you would make things worse.

He could do it now. He'll push you down into the mattress and make you submit. And then he'll–

Yoongi watched you close your eyes as you tried to shut out the voices. He gotten better at recognizing when they filled your mind and confused you with paranoid thoughts.

"Princess, listen to my voice." You opened your eyes to peer at him, and your gaze was heartbreaking. "I'm here, not them. They're only in your head. Tell me what they're saying."

Your lips trembled as you hesitated. It was the same thing he had heard a dozen times. The same thing you thought about every day. You didn't want to tell him again, but his words were a command, and you couldn't resist giving him an answer.

"You're–" Your voice cracked from so much disuse and you cleared it to begin again. "You're making me f-feel safe but really y-you're preparing to breed me again."

Yoongi frowned but tried to squash his disappointment. He wanted nothing more than for you to trust him. He thought he'd done everything to prove he was worth it. But he should have known trauma wasn't so easy to erase. After all, it was the family that raised for sixteen years that first taught you to be wary of security. He took a steadying breath and looked you in the eye.

"I made you a promise, Y/N. It was my first promise and I won't break it. Have I given you any reason to think I would?" You shook your head without hesitation. "Do you trust me?"

You wanted to. You were almost certain you did. You nodded your head.

"Good. You can trust me. I know that these voices have tried to keep you safe in the past, based on your experiences. But this is not your past. It won't be the same, and if you trust me, you need to believe that."

You thought about his words for a moment, and they felt right. The past few weeks were like nothing you had experienced ever in your life. There had been so much safety, and honesty, and affection that it looked like something out of a fantasy. And maybe that's what made it so hard to believe in, but you knew that it was real. Yoongi was real, while the malicious whispers in your head were only that. They were less than air.

Suddenly, you crawled forward, straight into Yoongi's chest. You felt his arms wrap around you immediately and began to weep.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got confused. Don't be mad," you cried into the shelter of his body.

He shushed you as he held you tight, rubbing circles on your lower back with a firm hand. "It's okay, princess. I told you that I would always tell you what's real. What you feel now, my arms around you. This is real. Out here is real. Everything is okay."

Yoongi let you cry yourself out on his chest, unbothered by his damp shirt. Jimin cuddled close, too, wrapping an extra arm around your trembling figure to shield you from any more worry, if only for tonight.

A/n: Wow. It's been like, over a year since I wrote any smut, and I've been very anxious about it. I would love to hear any small thing you liked about any of this chapter. I think Hobi was the shining star of her heat, tbh. I love him an indescribable about.

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intothegenshinworld · 6 months

Text

Fate’s Destiny ~ Chapter 8.7 || The Acting Grand Master

You somehow, not being able to explain it, had fallen into the Genshin world you know oh-so-well. You were no new player and had explored most of the nooks and crannies of the world. When you first had woken up in Windrise you wondered; it might be a dream, after all, you were behind your screen usually, and now- here? It made no sense, and the world was keen on keeping it that way.

Warnings: Spoilers for main story.

Word count: 3.4k+

Summary chapter 8.7: Acting Grand Master Jean has a lot of responsibilities. What can she do to ensure the safety of Mondstadt?

Auteurs note: This is the last bonus chapter before CH9, I promise. This is also the last update before Christmas!! Hope you enjoy

Thanks to: all the people who showed love on the last chapter, even if it took me over a year to update the series <3 your support means the world to me

↺ PREVIOUS CHAPTER || ↻ NEXT CHAPTER || MASTERLIST

Some time ago, in Mondstadt:

It had become an oddly frequent occurrence for the Anemo Archon to stand in Jean’s office. What's worse, she didn't know if she was the only person in the room to think so.

While she abruptly stood up from her chair, Diluc and Lisa barely acknowledged the bard. Both looked up for a moment, only to focus their attention back on whatever they were doing prior.

"Ah! Well if it isn't the beloved Knights of Favonious. You know, I would've come sooner if I could!" Venti trips as he stumbles through the door. "Ah, I'll never get used to that. Excuse me—" his tone shifts an octave higher before lowering again into an eager voice. "Where are they?"

"Who...?"

"Oh, Grand Master Jean. Of course I mean the Creator, who else would've been able to steal the winds from the Anemo Archon?"

His statement seems to catch the attention of both Lisa and Diluc, although the former was much more slick about it. With all eyes on him, Venti falls silent, looking around in a daze. It is only after he stands still that Jean notices the bottle of wine in his left hand, and the two wine glasses in his right.

"Uhm. Hello?" Venti lets out a bubbly laugh that seems unfit for the situation. "I get it, the Creator must've spooked you more then they did me, but uhm." He holds up the items in his hands. "We got loooots of stuff to catch up on, and I'd rather start sooner than later if I want to wrap up the events pertaining to the last five centuries."

"The Creator…?" Jean hesitantly looks at Diluc and Lisa. She's not sure if she's seeking confirmation more than forgiveness.

Please, for the love of the Archons, please let the imposter not turn out to be the True One.

Venti raises an eyebrow, scanning the room from Jean to Diluc, to Lisa, and back to Diluc, until finally settling on Jean. “Uh, yeah? Did you not welcome them? I can practically feel their energy overflowing this space."

He gestures with the wine bottle around the room, and Jean is certain she'll have a heart attack any minute now.

"The... Creator."

She plops down into the chair, a gesture of defeat, silently resigning herself to the idea that the real deal had been right in front of her this whole time, and heavily regretting how she considered locking them up. As the Acting Grand Master this is bound to cause the reputation of Mondstadt to fall, not to mention her own betrayal towards the Creator of everything.

Venti purses his lips as he watches Jean. he shifts his weight from leg to leg, "Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good."

Diluc (praise his soul) helps to divert the attention from Jean when he speaks up, "You mean, Kaeya was right?" He sounds annoyed and bewildered, "That can't be. Surely the real-"

Diluc stops when his eyes land on the somewhat silly looking Archon. He remembers that he never suspected the Anemo Archon to be drinking in his own tavern prior to the Dvalin fallout. So perhaps if an Archon can mingle with their people unnoticed, the Creator could–in theory, too.

Diluc gestures somewhat difficulty into the air. "Well."

"Well? " Venti mimics him.

"It's a difficult situation," the redhead grunts out, flustered by the fast paced conversation and information thrown at his head. Diluc crosses his arms as a scowl settles on his face.

Venti huffs. "More difficult than dealing with the abyss order and Dvalin when he was corrupted?" he turns around in his place, "surely it can't be that bad. I've only been away for half a week—and I would've been faster if our beloved Creator gave me a notice." He lets out a cheeky laugh accompanied by a wink and plops down into the chair across from Jean. He then carelessly drops the two glasses and wine bottle onto the surface of the desk separating them both. Jean now realizes that the extra glass was meant for the Creator.

The Creator of Teyvat, the one she had thought to be an imposter and nearly banished from Mondstadt.

She pulls her fingers through her hair and faintly prays, "Dear Barbatos–"

"Oh? You're ready to talk now?" Venti responds as he makes himself more comfortable in the chair. While everyone else seemed tense, he appeared unbothered by the whole ordeal. Probably, because he still believed the Creator to be around. Would he understand Jean’s misunderstanding if she told him what had occurred?

Lisa’s voice chimes over her doom-filled thoughts. "Give her a moment. It's safe to say we're all catching up to the fact that the ‘imposter’ turned out to be the True One."

Venti furrows his eyebrows. "Huh." New information seems to solve a riddle in his mind. When he speaks next, it's more to himself then anyone else, "I suppose that'd make sense why I'm not able to pinpoint their aura." He then speaks to Jean, “So what did you do?”

It wasn’t a question filled with judgement towards her. The tone of his voice was bubbly, as always, and filled with genuine curiosity—though, Jean could feel the concern rise in his words.

“I am not certain what happened before they reached Mondstadt,” she starts to pile the events in her mind and decides to soften the blow, “–but, ‘the Creator’ seemingly appeared out of no where at the gates. No one, aside from Kaeya and Albedo, were able to sense their aura. If the two tell the truth, Kaeya sent the Creator to Dragonspine when chaos began to rise within the headquarters, and only a day later, the Creator disappeared without a trace once more.”

Diluc adds to her story, “When I spoke with Eula and Kaeya, they believed they had seen a second Albedo before the Creator disappeared.” He hesitates for a moment, “Could this be related? Or could everything be explained with malfunctioning ley lines?”

Jean watches as Venti taps his fingers against the armrest. He slings his legs up and down and nods to himself. “This is certainly a first for me as well. Sure, the Creator has some magnificent powers, but I still can’t explain why they’d appear so suddenly, not to mention the strange events surrounding their descent.”

He opens his eyes and stares into the window behind Jean. There is an odd expression on his face, one that she can’t read.

Venti's next words are once again in a bubbly tone, the earlier melancholy washed away by newfound determination. “Seems like it’s our task to uncover what exactly is going on!” Venti jumps up and reaches for the wine bottle and glasses. “One thing I’m sure of is that you met the real Creator. Now, we just need to find out where they disappeared to.”

Diluc mutters in a tired tone, “That sounds easier said than done.”

Venti shrugs. “Last time we teamed up, we solved the mystery of Dvalin. I’m confident we’ll solve this mystery as well! In the meantime, I’ll be pulling my own strings. If I happen to find a clue, you’re the first ones to know.”

He winks at Jean, and the stress morphs into resolve. It’s awfully frustrating to have all these events happen without her ever being present. All the clues she has, are told by other people. If she wanted to find the Creator, she will have to rely on the other people in this room.

When the Archon leaves with a wave, she sends a small one back.

“So.” Diluc crosses his arms, “What are you going to do?”

Jean averts her eyes before she finds his gaze again. “We cannot ask Kaeya for help. At least not while he’s recovering.”

From the short distance in the room, Jean hears Diluc release a frustrated sigh. “I’ll try to ask my own contacts and see if they’ve seen anything out of the ordinary. However, I believe it’s best to keep this between us three.”Diluc rubs his temple. “If this information falls into the wrong hands, who knows what they’ll do. The Creator has been gone for five centuries. Whatever is happening now, it can’t be good.”

In the corner of her eye, Jean sees Lisa nod in agreement. She, too, agrees with Diluc. Jean nods. “Then we’ll wait for your return.” When the brunette faces turns her head, Jean speaks directly to her. “Can you keep an eye on Kaeya for now? I don’t think he’ll do anything to our disadvantage, but I have a feeling he won’t give up on finding the Creator once he’s better.”

“Of course.”

Lisa lets out a warm chuckle, a sound that suggests she's concealing her own thoughts and opinions on the matter—something she’ll likely share once Diluc has left.

“Alright then.” Diluc purses his lips and gives Jean a firm nod. “I’ll keep in touch.”

“Be safe, Master Diluc.” Jean calls out to him as he closes the door. Although the situation is less than comfortable, she feels safer knowing she can trust on the people around her.

And so, she waits—until one of her three confidants have found a lead.

When Jean received a letter from Diluc only a day later with an urgent request to meet up, Jean felt her life shatter at her feet. Time seemed to pass antagonisingly slow as she waited for Diluc. In the end, it took only a few hours for him to arrive at her office—it really hadn’t made sense for her to worry as much as she did. Still, the urgency he noted in his letter made her feel off about the whole meeting.

Diluc never sits down in the chair across from Jean. A habit, or perhaps he felt too awkward, and considering he had a past with the Knights of Favonius—the latter made more sense. Either way, Jean is forced to follow his pacing form shift around the room. Without Lisa, the atmosphere between the two was more relaxed, and Diluc is able to speak more freely.

“I’m planning on visiting Liyue myself. Because of the wine industry, I could enter the city on business terms even with the lockdown.” Diluc speaks his thoughts out loud, and the words are said as a statement. He never directly asks for Jean’s opinion or her approval, which he doesn’t need, but it still makes her feel out of control.

Jean clears her throat as subtly as she can before easing into the one sided conversation of Diluc which started after he told her about Rex Lapis' passing. “Why don’t you take one of the Knights?“

She would have offered to go herself, but with her title, she was bound to Mondstadt. She watches Diluc abruptly stop as she pulls him out of his train of thoughts. His eyes sharpen for a moment, eyebrows lowering, and his mouth opens before quickly changing his mind and relaxing when his eyes meet hers.

He hangs his head low and sighs. “I’d rather not.“

“Diluc,“ He looks up when she calls out his name, “I don’t doubt your strengths, but with the return of the Creator and the death of an Archon, this problem might be beyond our own limits. We should not act hastily.”

His face sours again. “You’re right, and it’s exactly why I won’t let some rookie Knight waddle into Liyue without any knowledge of what’s happening. Whoever you’re thinking of sending, he’ll only burden me.”

Jean purses her lips together, not missing the words he chose. Even without communicating, the two had been thinking about the same person.

He speaks again, “I need you to stay here and keep watch of Mondstadt while I’m gone. I’ll be leaving in a few days after I’ve gotten everything in order.” He crosses his arms, eyes softening despite the serious expression on his face, “I will contact you if I know more.”

Hopeless and without power, she watches Diluc exit as fiercely as he had entered her office. Nowadays, it seemed common for him to stir fires and leave as he unknowingly lets them fester into an inferno.

It had seemed so easy and petty to send her own battalion of Knights while Diluc was still preparing for the trip, but she knew he was right. Only a few people were suited to go to Liyue, and Diluc was one of the two.

The warm steam of the tea in front of Jean swirls upwards and around the room, spreading a soft floral scent that relaxes her despite the stress that she should be feeling. Lisa, who sits across from her, smiles as she watches the tension elevate from Jean’s shoulders. While it wasn’t uncommon for her to bring in tea for the Acting Grand Master, it was uncommon for Jean to nearly doze off in the comfort.

“Oh dear,” Lisa puts her hand in front of her mouth in a cheeky motion, “If anyone were to enter they’d surely think we’d be slacking off.”

A frustrated sigh escapes Jean’s lips and the tension returns to her body. “I doubt anyone would. They’re all still in the belief of the era of peace. The worst reports I’ve been getting as of late consist of inebriated citizens making too much noise after dark or cats being stuck on roofs.”

Lisa can’t help the chuckle escape her lips. Sometimes it felt like she enjoyed seeing people twist and turn in discomfort, but Jean knew better.

“Have you gotten any news on Kaeya?”

The brunette brings her teacup to her lips before setting it down again. “It’s hard to tell what he is actually thinking, but he seems to be back to normal. Earlier today, I saw him enter Angel’s Share.”

“What…?” Jean sits upright and raises an eyebrow. “This early? Isn’t he supposed to patrol until the evening? Has anyone taken over his shift?”

Calm and collected as always, Lisa pushes the porcelain cup in Jean’s direction, a silent reminder for her to relax once more. “It’ll be alright. The abyss order is no longer a problem, and we shouldn’t act like there is one either.” She tilts her head, and a strand of brown hair falls onto her cheek, “For the people it is important to see the Grand Master at ease.”

“Acting— ” Jean mutters out, “Acting Grand Master.”

The tea in front of her has cooled down to a comfortable temperature, and she brings it up to her lips. It had been a couple of days since she had gotten proper sleep and regular meals. Perhaps Lisa had been right, but with Diluc leaving the city tomorrow, she continues to feel restless.

With only Lisa in the room, Jean lets her body slack in the chair. Papers that were due had been pushed to the corners of her desk, making place for the two, now empty, cups of tea. There was so much to do, but everything felt insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

These moments of silence are the only thing keeping her sane, and she appreciates how Lisa seems to gift it to her every day. If the world were more forgiving, it’d given her more time to rest, alas everyone seems to enter her office in a whirlwind nowadays.

As the door is slammed open, Jean fumbles to make herself look presentable.

Out of all people...

“Kaeya?!”

The Cavalry Captain skips any greeting and goes straight to the point as he closes the door behind him. “I have some valuable information.” He walks closer, standing upright next to Lisa, who seems too immersed in her book to acknowledge him. He continues, “I know it might seem like a false rumor, useless gossip—if you may,” His voice falters for a second, his smile falling before reappearing, “but if the news is true, it’d give us an edge.”

Lisa continues to hold her book up, but Jean can see how her eyes have moved up. While she appears unbothered, she is most certainly curious about this tidbit.

Jean watches him carefully. “What news?”

He leans in closer, his voice lower, careful. “Some Fatui were talking about the passing of the Geo Archon.”

From the inside, Jean feels a wave of relief washes over her. When he had entered the room in such an unsuspecting way, she had expected yet another big problem to be shoved into her lap.

She crosses her legs and inhales sharply as she looks up at him. “We know.”

“You know?” His expression turns into genuine shock, something many people will never see on Kaeya’s face.

From the corner of Jean’s eye, she can see Lisa resist a chuckle. “I assume you didn’t get this information from the streets? Say, what were you doing in Angel’s share during work hours?” Her forest green eyes move up to him and he dramatically puts a hand on his hip.

“Gathering intel, as you heard. Though, it seems to be old intel for you.”

Kaeya leans his hand onto Lisa’s chair before he shifts his weight once more. He tries to hide it, but with the confirmation of the intel being true, he is filled with more questions than answers. And instead of asking any, he dances around it.

“I know you don’t believe me, really, I don’t blame you.” He stops for a moment, putting his hand on his chest, “But now with the death of Rex Lapis? Something must be wrong.”

Jean remembers that he still believes that he and Albedo are the only ones to feel the Creator’s aura, and thus their identity. If he hadn’t acted on his own earlier—had he known about Venti—she might’ve told him.

Before she can do anything, Lisa swiftly acts out and calls out her name. Jean hums, listening to what follows, “Perhaps it would be time to send a diplomat to assess the situation in Liyue,” and the reasoning she gives afterward forces Jean into a corner.

Kaeya, too, joins in to further pressure her. It is after Lisa continues to push Jean, suggesting to send him, that she finally gives in—hoping her beloved librarian has more than an impulse in mind.

“Okay,” Jean watches Kaeya’s eye brighten, “but you need to take Diluc with you.”

The smile on his face falters. ”Diluc, really?”

”He was the one who told me about Liyue’s predicament, and he is more than capable of handling situations like these.”

Perhaps Lisa made the right move to push her in this direction. She still felt unsettled with Diluc leaving on his own. If Kaeya were to go with him, he’d be prevented from doing anything reckless by himself, and in return, Diluc would keep an close eye on Kaeya.

While it might seem like a punishment to both, it would’ve been the best course of action for Jean. She watches as Kaeya starts to give in, uttering a ‘fine’ in agreement.

With a lighter feeling in her chest knowing Diluc would at least not be alone, she asks Kaeya to keep contact, just like Diluc would. If she couldn’t investigate herself, she would have to rely on others, and two had been better than one in this case.

When Kaeya finally shuts the door, Jean looks back at Lisa who moves back into the chair across from her. When her bright eyes meet Jean, she is sent a warm smile. It is supposed to ease her, but doubt eventually settles in her mind regardless.

“Did you really think it was wise to send him?” Jean hopes for a simple ‘yes’ in reply.

The librarian leans back into the chair, crossing her legs comfortably once she’s settled, and calmly sighing. “If he stays here, he’ll pry until he figures it out.” Lisa turns a finger in the air. “And I do believe Diluc would keep a close eye on him for us.”

Jean sighs. “Still…”

If there was something wrong, would Kaeya suffice with Diluc?

“Don’t worry so much,” Lisa places her hand over Jean’s. “We’ll figure out what’s going on.”

When a soft breeze enters her office, Jean is reminded of someone.

“Have you heard anything of Venti?” Lisa asks.

She shakes her head. “If what he said about his power still counts, it might take a while.”

If she thought too much about it, it seemed as if the world itself was trying to prevent its people from finding out what was true and what was not.

“Should I brew some more tea?” Lisa asks at last.

Jean nods, her previous thoughts forgotten in the wind.

#sagau #sagau x reader #isegau #genshin impact x reader #jean gunnhildr #lisa minci #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #venti #I don't need more tags we can mvp this

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annaphoenix1994 · 11 months

Text

Dead Man Walking - Part 2

First Part - Masterlist

Tags: Angst/Eventual Smut/Confused Simon/Jealous Simon/Simon Doesn't Know How to Process his Feelings

Word Count: 2,228

Summary: Lila Shelby is a private investigator and right-hand informant for Station Chief Laswell, sending you undercover to pose as an American soldier to investigate Phillip Graves as Laswell has an idea that there was more to the story than just what Shepherd had told her. Nearly eight months into the investigation, Lila (you) befriended as well as grew feelings for the quiet, yet intimidating British Lieutenant Simon Riley. When an intimate encounter simmers, Simon is faced with a responsibility he had never been faced with: Lila's heart.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry I'm just now publishing this. I had saved it as a draft months ago and just now finished it! Part 3 coming sooner than this one!

"You handled it well back there." Ghost commented, his gaze still solid on the amber-colored liquid in his glass, his heart racing as he processed her soft and vulnerable laugh at his comment.

She shrugged, "It only gets better from here."

"What're you going to do?"

"Well," She sighed, crossing her leg over her knee. "I did my research and sent it to Laswell. Just waiting on her to call me back and give me the order."

"I see." He nodded, a frown splaying behind his mask - a frown that she could not see.

But she felt it.

"After I get my orders, I'll still be here to locate the missiles and take out Hassan. I won't be going anywhere any time soon." She sighed.

"Good."

"Gettin' all sentimental, are we?" She teased.

"No, just saying that it's a good thing you're here."

She hummed, "I could say the same about you."

"Why?"

"You've saved my ass a couple of times already within these last few months is why," She giggled, playfully nudging his elbow with hers. A gesture of physical touch that nearly drove him wild. "Got a sharp eye on you, Lieutenant."

He huffed in agreement, "I have to. You don't know what don't push means."

"Believe me, I do, but I'm not patient."

"I'm well aware. That's why I've had to save your arse twice now," He grumbled, curling his fingers around the hem of his balaclava to bring it up to his top lip to take another sip of the bourbon, relying on the liquid courage for what was about to leave his lips next. "It was easy to spot where you were with an arse like that."

Too fucking bold, Simon.

She was nearly startled by his words, wondering if she should take it as a compliment or an insult, but something told her that he was trying to hint at how he felt about her, which was a shock in itself. "Been staring at my ass much, Ghost?" She chuckled.

"Can't help it," He shrugged. "It finds its way to my view all on its own."

"I'll have you know that I'm very self-conscious about my body-"

"You shouldn't."

"I do consider if my ass is the only thing you look at."

"I look at more than just that," He huffed, the bourbon taking completely over with his internal fight with his own emotions - something that he had never been able to conquer without the aid of alcohol to take the edge off. "Especially when you revealed your face. Haven't been able to get it out of my mind."

"I'm sure it was a shock," She giggled. "That typically happens when you thought I looked completely different than what you expected-"

"It wasn't what I expected, but it's not a bad thing. You're not ugly at all."

"You're just saying that-"

"Stop. You're beautiful."

He saw her arch her brow in his peripheral vision, hating how she refused to accept his compliment, but he couldn't blame her - he wouldn't believe her if she were to compliment him either.

"If you say so."

"I can show you how beautiful you are."

His words didn't mean to leave his mind. He wanted her desperately - to show her how he could admire her with his own touch and body, to whisper against her skin that her insecurities only haunted her thoughts and not his own.

She didn't respond as quickly as he would have liked and expected a rejection, something he was used to already. He sighed, breaking the silence as he regretted it almost immediately for possibly ruining their relationship.

"H-How?" She asked, her foot tapping nervously against the floor.

"It's just something I have to show. I can't just say it."

"Why?" She nearly giggled in disbelief.

"For one, I'm not good with words. Two, you wouldn't believe me if I said it."

"You're probably right," She sighed. "Although I doubt you can show me that I'm beautiful and make me believe you."

"We'll see about that," He grumbled, slowly standing to his feet. "That is, if you'd let me?"

She nodded hesitantly for her own sake, growing intensely nervous as to what was about to happen. She watched him close the door to his bedroom before he locked it, turning off the light in the process, the only light illuminating the room was the single light that was above the sink in his bathroom. She soon felt his presence standing before her, watching his arm extend towards her, his hand opening as if he were asking her to take it.

She did.

She stood to her feet, feeling his hot breath fanning against her face, realizing that he had exposed his lips from the confines of his balaclava, the dim light bronzing against his exposed skin of his jaw, light stubble surrounding his lips. Her breath altered at the sight, wondering what he looked like without the mask completely, putting together a mental picture as best as she could.

By what she could see, he was beautiful.

With a gloved hand now grasping hers, he reached for her other hand before guiding her arms to where they were around his neck, loosening his grasp before his hands rested gently on her hips. He saw a gleam of excitement in her eyes, looking over her features before slowly moving his face closer to hers, the feeling of her lips on his being better than he imagined, although he felt as if he overstepped a boundary when her lips were tight against his, hesitant on roaming his shoulders with her hands. "Relax, love." He mumbled against her lips.

"Hard to relax when this is happening," She giggled. "It's all overwhelming."

"Overwhelming?"

"The excited type." She giggled, forcing herself to relax against his lips, accepting his gestures that she desperately wanted.

"Good." He whispered before returning his lips to hers, sighing as he felt her relax, swiping the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip, a sly grin curling on his mouth as she accepted his tongue, deepening the kiss on her own terms, his grip tightening on her hips as he pulled her closer while he guided her to lay on the bed, settling his weight between her legs.

Naturally, her legs hooked around his hips, the pinch of his holsters and belt nipping at her inner thighs as he couldn't help but grind his hips into her as his lips moved against her neck, striking those nerve endings that sent sparks throughout her entire body mixed with the smell of his natural scent and deodorant. "Is this okay?" He whispered against her neck as she felt his bare fingers grazing against the exposed skin of her hip.

She nodded, "I want more of you. I want all of you, Gho-"

"Simon," He corrected her, feeling as if she deserved to hear his real name as she was about to give herself to him completely. "Simon Riley."

"Lila Shelby," She giggled, pulling back from his lips to say her full name. "Definitely a new way to introduce each other."

"I know who you are, love." He smirked at her expression when she realized that he had removed his balaclava completely, his words making her feel like she was melting under his words alone.

All she could do was hum in response, her hands hesitantly reaching up to cup his face as his lips returned to lock with hers, pressing his growing erection into her at the same time, a heavy sigh leaving his nostrils at the tension he had been longing to relieve. "You can touch me. I won't stop you."

"Not this time, huh?" She giggled, referring to the comforting hug she had tried to give him weeks prior after one of their talks, afraid that he'd pull away again if she began to explore his body.

"Not this time." He said lowly, his fingers resting at the bottom of her ribcage, hesitant to continue forward as it had been a few years since he had been with a woman.

"Touch me, Simon."

"Say it again." He grumbled, the sound of his name coming from her mouth encouraging him to continue.

"Touch me, Simon."

His hand moved to cup her breast, her back arching against his chest as his other arm stabilized him as he hovered over her.

Now fully feeling his erection against her core, a light sheet of sweat embraced her as her shirt had been removed fully, Simon sitting back on his knees to reach for the hem of his shirt to remove it only to be stopped. "Can I?"

She watched him smirk through the dimly-lit room, "I'm all yours." He said, opening his arms as she moved to sit on her knees, reaching for the hem of his shirt to slowly pull it upwards, Simon raising his arms above his head to feel his shirt leave his torso, feeling her palm press against his sternum, trailing her hand downward towards his belly button, feeling the hard muscle under her palm before he guided her back down on the bed, his lips pressing against her collarbone before making a trail of their own over the mounds of her breasts, his hand replacing his lips when he continued downward, stopping briefly once he got to her belt, the heat of her core radiating through her pants, nearly driving Simon wild at the thought.

Removing her pants from her hips and legs, he tossed them carelessly to the floor, his hands returning to her bare legs as his fingers hooked around the hem of her panties, "You alright?" He asked, continuously asking for her consent as he truly didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

She nodded, lifting her hips as he removed her underwear, Simon noticing her insecurity by her thighs instinctively clamping together after she was bare completely under him.

His hands rested on her knees, "Gettin' shy on me, love?"

He knew exactly why she was nervous, but he hoped that she knew that he wouldn't judge her for whatever insecurity she thought she had.

"I-I can't help it." She blushed.

"Don't be nervous," He assured her, moving to lay between her thighs after feeling her relax. "Just relax."

"What if you don't like-"

"Shh." He smirked against her thigh, pressing his lips along her inner thigh from her knee to her hip, the smell of her pheromones enticing him further and further, his mouth watering for the taste of her to be on his lips.

Feeling her relax against his touch, his lips latched around her clit as a loud moan escaped her lips, turning her head to the side and clamping her eyes shut to enjoy the sensation Simon was giving her so effortlessly.

After a few moments, Simon sensed that she was anticipating more by how he felt her walls contracting over nothing. Slowly, he entered a finger inside of her, groaning against her clit at the feeling of her tightness. After inserting another finger inside of her, he curled his fingers upwards towards her G-Spot, continuing to nurse on her clit with the same motion of his fingers, effortlessly making her teeter on the brink of an orgasm.

He waited until she got to that high, stopping before she reached that high to tease her instead of making himself feel selfish, standing to his feet on the edge of the bed to remove his pants, his erection springing free and causing her to shudder at the sight. He pumped himself once, precum dripping from his tip as he relaxed onto his knees, "Ready?"

She nodded, reaching to grasp for his forearm and digging her nails into his tattooed skin, wincing as he entered her slowly, suddenly more aroused at the sound of a whimper leaving Simon's lips. "Fuckin' hell." He grumbled.

"W-What is it?" She panted.

"So fuckin' tight, love." He replied, pressing a kiss to her neck as he began to thrust into her slowly, resisting the urge to fill her to the brim just by how well she hugged him. She hummed, smirking at his compliment as her legs twined around his hips, her calves subtly pulling him closer against her.

"I'm going to assume that's a good thing." She giggled.

"Very good thing," He groaned, leaning up to view where they were joined, obsessed with how his girth disappeared within her with every thrust, grasping her ankles with his hands for leverage before he reached down and grasped a pillow, lifting up her hips to put the pillow under the small of her back, Lila unaware that the gesture was for her pleasure as he would perfectly hit her G-Spot with every thrust. "So fuckin' good for me, yeah?"

She moaned in response, although it wasn't what Simon wanted to hear.

He wanted to hear how good he made her feel.

He put his weight on her, curling his hips into her as he was pleased to feel the firmer ridges of her as he thrusted against her G-Spot, kissing against her neck and jaw before he asked, "Tell me, love."

"Yes," She sighed. "Always good for you, Simon."

He smirked against her jaw, "Good girl."

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oboetemasuka · 5 months

Text

Order of Attack (part 6)

Mm, this dialogue chapter is still so big that I had to split it again. Sorry, Amane will show up later. But don't worry, I won't keep you waiting too long with the next part. It'll fall neatly into my queue slots. Give it ~8 hours. Then I'll post both parts on AO3 around the same time when I get around to it.

Besides, the next part is going to be much more intense (and include a new trigger warning), so it's probably better to split to avoid tonal whiplash.

(I hope I handled Mikoto and John correctly... Sorry if I messed something up. It's a balancing act.)

"Hey, Fuuta, Shidou-san," Mikoto said as he opened the door.

"Kayano-kun, thank you for stopping by," Shidou responded wearily.

"Fuuta, how have you-"

"Why are… you here?" Fuuta asked as snappily as he could manage.

"I just wanted to check on you. I don't really remember anything about the attacks, but I felt bad-"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry?"

"If you're just…" Fuuta took a shallow breath. "Leave!"

Mikoto looked as if Fuuta had just punched him. Then his expression morphed into a level of aggression Fuuta had never seen before. Mikoto jerked forward, and Fuuta's eyes widened in terror. But it only turned out to be a feint.

"Kayano-kun!" Shidou shouted.

Mikoto glared at Shidou before stomping his way out of the cell and muttering, "Damn brat." The door slammed behind him.

Shidou turned to Fuuta. "I told you to stop lashing out at everyone who visits."

"H… how was I s…" It was the obvious question.

"I specifically warned you that Kayano-kun has been very stressed out and not to exacerbate it."

"You didn't say…"

"That he would lash out in response? Kajiyama-kun, it's basic decency not to say harsh things, even if he wasn't going to react that way."

"Fuuta-kun…" Mahiru said as Fuuta opened his eyes.

Would you lot stop hovering over me while I'm sleeping?

Mahiru didn't seem to notice Fuuta's glare—or maybe he just wasn't able to be intimidating enough. Her hands remained on her shoulders, like they had been for the whole interim. She realizes nothing is keeping her arms in place anymore, right?

"How much does it hurt?" she asked, still uncomfortably close to his face. Rub salt in the wound, won't you?

"Back off," he managed to say. Mahiru sat straight up, putting space between them.

"Sorry. I… I've been worried about you."

You and everyone else. "So what?"

"I just wanted to know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better."

You? Make me feel better? If it wasn't for you, someone might have saved me sooner! Yuno might have heard the attack right away. Or Shidou wouldn't have sent Kazui out to protect you. Then I wouldn't have been so broken!

Whatever expression was on his face as he tried to get his words out must have caused Mahiru to tense up. Eventually, three words made it out.

"It's… your… fault…"

Mahiru looked very hurt, but not surprised. Her eyes started to quiver, like she was trying too hard not to blink.

"You're… the cause… of all my problems!" Fuuta continued.

"You think I don't know that?" she responded quietly, tears streaming down her face.

"…doesn't… seem like…"

"You think it doesn't keep me up at night? Wondering what it would have been like if things were different? If I was the one alone, if Kotoko-chan had attacked me first, if you and Amane-chan didn't have to go through all of this because I wanted a little comfort? If…"

Mahiru's ramblings soon became engulfed in her sobs. But things are like this, Fuuta thought. I wouldn't wish this pain on you, but that doesn't mean you can waltz in here and try to make me feel better. As if you know me.

"You're… making this… about yourself…" he said.

"I-I didn't mean…"

"…can't stand it… looking at you…"

Mahiru let go of her own shoulders to bury her face in her hands. Shidou walked up to her and whispered something in her ear. She nodded, got up, and walked out of the cell. Shidou sat down in her place.

"Kajiyama-kun, what did you say this time?"

"What's… it… to you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that your injuries are no excuse for you to treat everyone else like dirt?"

"Then maybe… they should just… leave me alone."

"I need their eyes from time to time. I can't monitor you constantly and in isolation."

Fuuta huffed. "Then tell them to… stop saying s…"

"At this rate, they'll figure it out on their own."

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #john kayano #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #fic #bad things happen to amane #order of attack

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beantothemax · 2 months

Note

First day of school was fine. Surgically extracted the angst from this fic cause I am NOT writing that!!!!!

Most of Lyn's little makeshift army had returned home. They were always happy to fight tyranny, but now with Lundgren gone, they had little reason to stay. As Lyn said farewell to her friends, she kept wondering about one of them.

They weren't quite friends, Erk was very distant, but she still cared about them.

"Where are you going now?" she asked.

"Visiting my sister. I just got a letter from some asshole who says he's her boyfriend, apparently she's gotten herself sick," Erk rolled her eyes.

Lyn stared at them for several long moments before exclaiming, "YOU HAVE A SISTER!?"

"Parents, too. I'm a biological creature, of course I have family," Erk replied.

Lyn followed Erk and asked at least a million questions as they packed but she was greatly disappointed by the short, unenthusiastic answers.

"I should be off," Erk finally said.

"At least let me escort you to the harbor!" Lyn insisted.

Erk wanted to decline, they truly wanted to make the journey alone but sighed and said yes, in fear that a potential employer may dislike them when they returned.

Big mistake though. Just before Erk could board the ship to Magvel, Lyn insisted on giving her a great hug.

"And take this Sacaean candy! If your sister is sick, this will help her recover," Lyn smiled.

"I'll be sure to give it to her," Erk mumbled.

She boarded the ship and reluctantly waved goodbye to Lyn.

Next stop: Renais castle.

- - -

Artur knew nothing of spider bites and wrote what Lute told him to.

"It's life threatening, I may die," she had said with an unchanging tone and expression, "If I kick the bucket, record all my symptoms and their progression- well, it won't matter if you do because I won't be able to continue my research."

"Lute! Don't say such things, I'll do everything I can to help you," Artur insisted with tears in his eyes, but she dozed off once more.

She had been asleep for just shy of two days, occasionally waking up, but for no longer than some minutes at time. It allowed her to drink, eat, take medicine, and say sarcastic, insensitive things to her friends who worried for her, but little else.

After some days with very little progress, an extraordinarily loud banging on the door awoke her.

"Leave me alone!" she hissed, retreating under the covers.

Artur rose and opened the door, seeing only a young mage who was quite a bit shorter than him.

"Could you please quiet down?" he requested.

"Are you Artur?" they asked plainly.

"Umm... Yes?"

"Step aside," she opened the door wider and walked in.

Artur quickly closed the door behind her so that no light would come in, before returning his attention to the mage.

"Excuse me, you can't be here," he said.

"You wrote me a letter."

"When?"

They pulled the envelope from their pocket and handed it to Artur before shaking Lute awake. He read the first line and finally realized this was the Erk that Lute had mentioned. She never said how short or inconsiderate they were.

"Stop being lazy, you'll be fine, you big baby," Erk muttered.

"Erk!?" Lute yelled.

She sat up suddenly and hugged them tight. Truly, she looked like death. Her skin was pale and grey, eyes hardly open with exhaustion.

She hated being sincere, hated telling people she loved them and especially hated doing it in front of other people, but Lute was the exception. Her dear big sister had been the only one to advocate for her when she said she wanted to study abroad and she had always been there when there was a problem.

When their parents didn't understand Erk's new identity, neither did Lute, but she tried her best for her beloved sibling.

"Sorry I couldn't be here sooner, I had to help overthrow a false marquess. Also, I brought some Lycian medicine, an Etrurian spell book and some Sacaean candy," Erk muttered.

"You leave Magvel once and come back spoiling me," Lute chuckled but the strain made her cough.

Erk let go of her and placed her back on the bed. They looked through every inch of their bag, placing all the medicine on the night stand. While they searched for cough drops, Artur sat silently in the corner. He didn't wish to intrude upon this reunion as Lute said she hadn't seen her darling little sibling in ages.

"You overthrew a marquess?" Lute asked in her weak, hoarse voice.

"Kind of. A man tried to kill his brother, the actual marquess and his estranged granddaughter to take the position for himself," Erk muttered.

"I bet you showed 'em who's boss."

"I did."

They found the cough medicine and poured a spoon of it, holding it to Lute's lips, "This tastes really bad," they warned.

Lute grimaced the moment it touched her lips, but she drank it all.

"My little sibling is all grown up," she smiled.

"Not according to lord Pent, he says I'm hardly qualified to be a mage," Erk snickered.

They laughed and caught up in a fashion Artur couldn't quite understand. They seemed to mock each other, calling each other horrible names but laughing through it all. Erk was in the middle of a story about an obnoxious pink haired girl when Lute yawned one last time before nodding off.

"We should let her rest," Erk said.

Artur followed close behind when she left.

"Are you two upset with each other?" he asked.

"No, why do you think that?"

"You kept insulting each other."

"...Have you no siblings?"

"No."

"That explains it," Erk smiled.

They talked little while Artur showed them to a guest room. She lay down her bags before he hesitantly asked, "Do you think she'll be okay? With the spider bite, I mean."

"She'll be up and walking again in a day or two, those things are rarely fatal. She's just being dramatic," Erk said.

"She usually downplays her injuries though..." Artur thought, "Do you think it's because she wanted to see you?"

"Huh?"

"She said it's been almost three years since you were last home, maybe she saw a chance to see you again and took it."

She thought of the possibility and shrugged, "Maybe."

No one in the family had ever been big on showing affection, but she supposed so much time apart could change that.

"I might stay a while, my teacher was going to give me a break anyway and I'm curious about this 'war of stones' that took place in my absence."

oh erk you are most definitely a creature.

lute going ‘hey if I die write down how I die’ and IMMEDIATLY conking out as artur is just

is fantastic. ten outta ten

AND JUST. WEGH. THEMMMMMMMMMMM… MY SILLY OURPLE MAGE GIRL BESTIES…. AUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#YAY YAY YAYA YIPPEEE YAY YAY YAY ERK AND LUTE SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!#asks #pie-knight #inbox fic #THEM TALKING WAS SOSOSOS GOOD #JUST #PIE YOU DO VERY GOOD DIALOGUE #sacred beanstones

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crabknee · 2 months

Note

Hey look at this

They weren't quite friends, Erk was very distant, but she still cared about them.

"Where are you going now?" she asked.

"Visiting my sister. I just got a letter from some asshole who says he's her boyfriend, apparently she's gotten herself sick," Erk rolled her eyes.

Lyn stared at them for several long moments before exclaiming, "YOU HAVE A SISTER!?"

"Parents, too. I'm a biological creature, of course I have family," Erk replied.

Lyn followed Erk and asked at least a million questions as they packed but she was greatly disappointed by the short, unenthusiastic answers.

"I should be off," Erk finally said.

"At least let me escort you to the harbor!" Lyn insisted.

Erk wanted to decline, they truly wanted to make the journey alone but sighed and said yes, in fear that a potential employer may dislike them when they returned.

Big mistake though. Just before Erk could board the ship to Magvel, Lyn insisted on giving her a great hug.

"And take this Sacaean candy! If your sister is sick, this will help her recover," Lyn smiled.

"I'll be sure to give it to her," Erk mumbled.

She boarded the ship and reluctantly waved goodbye to Lyn.

Next stop: Renais castle.

- - -

Artur knew nothing of spider bites and wrote what Lute told him to.

"Lute! Don't say such things, I'll do everything I can to help you," Artur insisted with tears in his eyes, but she dozed off once more.

After some days with very little progress, an extraordinarily loud banging on the door awoke her.

"Leave me alone!" she hissed, retreating under the covers.

Artur rose and opened the door, seeing only a young mage who was quite a bit shorter than him.

"Could you please quiet down?" he requested.

"Are you Artur?" they asked plainly.

"Umm... Yes?"

"Step aside," she opened the door wider and walked in.

Artur quickly closed the door behind her so that no light would come in, before returning his attention to the mage.

"Excuse me, you can't be here," he said.

"You wrote me a letter."

"When?"

"Stop being lazy, you'll be fine, you big baby," Erk muttered.

"Erk!?" Lute yelled.

She sat up suddenly and hugged them tight. Truly, she looked like death. Her skin was pale and grey, eyes hardly open with exhaustion.

When their parents didn't understand Erk's new identity, neither did Lute, but she tried her best for her beloved sibling.

"Sorry I couldn't be here sooner, I had to help overthrow a false marquess. Also, I brought some Lycian medicine, an Etrurian spell book and some Sacaean candy," Erk muttered.

"You leave Magvel once and come back spoiling me," Lute chuckled but the strain made her cough.

"You overthrew a marquess?" Lute asked in her weak, hoarse voice.

"Kind of. A man tried to kill his brother, the actual marquess and his estranged granddaughter to take the position for himself," Erk muttered.

"I bet you showed 'em who's boss."

"I did."

They found the cough medicine and poured a spoon of it, holding it to Lute's lips, "This tastes really bad," they warned.

Lute grimaced the moment it touched her lips, but she drank it all.

"My little sibling is all grown up," she smiled.

"Not according to lord Pent, he says I'm hardly qualified to be a mage," Erk snickered.

"We should let her rest," Erk said.

Artur followed close behind when she left.

"Are you two upset with each other?" he asked.

"No, why do you think that?"

"You kept insulting each other."

"...Have you no siblings?"

"No."

"That explains it," Erk smiled.

They talked little while Artur showed them to a guest room. She lay down her bags before he hesitantly asked, "Do you think she'll be okay? With the spider bite, I mean."

"She'll be up and walking again in a day or two, those things are rarely fatal. She's just being dramatic," Erk said.

"She usually downplays her injuries though..." Artur thought, "Do you think it's because she wanted to see you?"

"Huh?"

"She said it's been almost three years since you were last home, maybe she saw a chance to see you again and took it."

She thought of the possibility and shrugged, "Maybe."

No one in the family had ever been big on showing affection, but she supposed so much time apart could change that.

"I might stay a while, my teacher was going to give me a break anyway and I'm curious about this 'war of stones' that took place in my absence."

Omg the sisters everrrrrrrrr

My only qualms with this is that pent would not fucking say that, otherwise this is a VERY good fic

@beantothemax you need to see this as well

#asks #pie #inbox fic #crab emblem

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lynderman · 2 years

Text

Songs That Remind Me Of Finbin, Except I go Into Depth On Why Pt.1

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

List of songs I coordinate with Finbin

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Glimpse Of Us- Joji

"He'd take the world off my shoulders. If it was ever hard to move." Anytime that Robin would stop people from beating Finney up, and defending him.

"He'd turn the rain to a rainbow When I was living in the blue." When the two of them were having difficult times in their home lives, but the second they saw each other they forgot everything and only focused on one another.

"Why then, if she is so perfect, Do I still wish that it was you?" Finney questioning himself when he got with Donna.

"Perfect don't mean that it's working, So what can I do?" He knows he isn't over Robin, but he also knows he won't even see him again :((

"When you're out of sight, In my mind." He felt immense guilt that it was him who escaped the grabber and not Robin. This was the first thought that came to his mind when he left the boy's bodies behind as the cops drove away with him.

"'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes. And that's where I find a glimpse of us." Every. Single. Time. That Finney does anything with Donna, he wishes it was Robin. He can't even look her in the eye for more than 10 seconds sometimes.

"And I try to fall for her touch, But I'm thinking of the way it was." Finney struggles immensely to have any physical contact with Donna whatsoever. Every time she holds his hand, he thinks about how he treated Robin the same way when he would patch him up after fights.

"Said I'm fine and said I moved on. I'm only here passing time in her arms." It takes years and years for Finney to get over Robin. At first he thought of Donna as a rebound. Donna understood this, but still stuck with Finney trough out everything. The two come to a mutual relationship after a few years.

"Tell me she savors your glory. Does she laugh the way I did?" (Let's pretend Robin's ghost follows Finney everywhere.) Robin envies the way Donna gets to spend more time with Finney than he ever will. He watches the two of them and wonders if Finn wishes that Donna was him.

"Is this a part of your story? One that I had never lived." When Robin took notice to the beginning of their relationship, he was more than shocked. He thought that Finn would never get over him.

"Maybe one day you'll feel lonely, And in her eyes, you'll get a glimpse." Robin knows it's wrong to be this upset, but he can't help it. He hates the fact that he never got to confess fully to Finn and wishes he had done It sooner. If he's upset enough about it, he'll vent to Bruce sometimes :')

"Maybe you'll start slipping slowly. And find me again." Robin loves Finney more than life itself. He eventually comes to terms with the fact that Finn can't be stuck on his death forever and is bound to move on. "When you're out of sight. In my mind." Robin watching Finney drive away from the house(s) holding back tears as the rest of the ghost boys watch too.

"But I'm thinking of the way it was. Said I'm fine and said I moved on." Whenever another one of the ghost boys catches Robin watching Finney (whether he be alone or with Donna) and they ask if he's ok. Robin fights the urge to tell them about how much he misses him and would do anything to hug or talk to him one more time.

"Hoping I'll find. A glimpse of us." After Robin becomes more content with the fact that Finn is happy, so he's happy. There will always be a little part of him that envies Donna for being able to give him that happiness.

#finbin #rinney #robin arellano #Finney Blake #Finney and robin #tbp #the black phone #masterlist?#series?#hc #head canons

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pbandjesse · 4 months

Text

I am feeling a lot better. Still exhausted physically. And the cough plagues me. But my throat is not so swollen. The day did not start as nice. It took most of the day to muster up good feelings. But it didn't stop me from having a pretty good day.

I did not sleep great. I started coughing pretty bad last night. And I couldn't stop. It was kind of horrible. I had really bad fitful sleep because I couldn't stop coughing. I was eventually able to fall asleep slightly propped up. But I woke myself up a few times and that was not fun. I had a very very bizarre dream where the moon hatched like an egg and a baby came out. Very strange way to wake up this morning.

I didn't get out of bed right away. I wasn't sure if James had left yet. But once I got the alert on my phone that they did I let myself fall back asleep for a while longer.

I got up a little after 8. But I stayed in bed for a while. I was just coughing so bad and so tired.

When I got up I didn't take the meds right away. Instead I just brushed my teeth and got washed up and dressed. I felt so weak. I had asked Alexi to give me some work to do but she wouldn't have anything for a while. Which is fine! I was trying to use the limited energy I had. There was not a lot of it.

I had watermelon and crackers for breakfast. I tried to have a yogurt but it didn't taste exactly right after I took the lidocaine. The lidocaine got rid of the cough so quickly and I felt so silly for not taking it sooner. But it does mess with my taste buds really bad so everything was a little off. But eating helped and then I felt comfortable taking the steroids which would give me a couple hours of energy. Not as much as yesterday but enough.

I would hang some little things in the bedroom. Small objects. I have this lovely curio shelf mom got me with a carved cat and mouse that I've had hanging in our old bedroom but I never knew what to put on it. But I remembered we had musuem wax. So I took my tiny jewelry box that has all my special things and finally put them in display. I am thrilled how it came out.

I would also hang my pocket watched. And my tiny scissors. And a pin locket that my grandfather gave my grandmother. It has her initials on it.

I would work on fixing the holes in the blanket I made for James. No idea why the stitches are popping so much but there was actually 6 different breaks! I fixed them up really good but I was very surprised that we hadn't noticed.

I was starting to lose steam and took a little break. I took all the pins off our old canvas flag and organized them into groups. Enamel, button, brass, other. And I'm going to get a different display, maybe just a longer flag, or I'll make something myself. Unsure but it will be fun to create something new for them.

I have some really wonderful and interesting antique pins and art pins and I just want to be able to see them all nice and displayed.

I decided that I should work on moving things around downstairs so there aren't so many piles in the midddles of the rooms. Just make it a little more pleasant but I also think it will help once we start getting our new furniture in here.

I packed up the candle sticks in the boxes and I got my sewing desk more organized. I miss to the kitchen and collected the flat art and consolidated that. I moved all the chairs into the tape lines for where the couch will go. I got rid of trash and organized inside the fridge too.

But then I was very tired. I went upstairs to lay down for a while. The cough would come back and I was gagging again which was horrible. I took more lidocaine. I tried to just. Breathe.

I had a little lunch. Mac and cheese and a roll. And Alexi finally had something for me to do!

I had some more research to focus on for specialized presenters and it was fun reading through things. I couldn't do the second thing she wanted because no one ever sent me the info. But I'm hoping tomorrow I can hit the ground running with that.

I hung up the beautiful printed butterflies Jess got me in Scotland. And started working on clearing off our counters. James has been working hard but I moved some decorative items and put things away. Including the clean dishes. But I didn't know where we were keeping the spatulas and I got frustrated and dizzy tired.

The day was going okay though. I would take a lot of breaks. But I was getting stuff done and that felt good. I finally found the missing nightlight and was able to put that in our bedroom. And was feeling really positive.

James let me know that the Comcast person would be at our apartment to put the Internet lines in between 3 and 5. So around 330 I headed downstairs and started cleaning out our candy drawer while I waited for them.

A lot of our candy seemed to be sticky or not appetizing. So I threw things away and saved the few things I thought we would still use. Some chocolate and mints. And in the old candy box I was able to put in a few things that didn't have homes so it looked very neat.

While I was organizing I accidentally tore the screw out of the wall for the cutting board storage. So I would have to get an anchor to keep that sturdy.

But at 430, before I could do that, the Comcast man came in. William was super sweet. He agreed with James that they seemed to have cut the cords?? And they seemed to be deep in the crawl space behind the duct work.

James would come home not long after William came in. And was able to walks round in the basement continuing to look. But finally we decided to just let him drill through the wall and make a more accessible port.

This was incredibly loud!! I was really surprised. But we have Internet now!! It's kind of in a funny space but once we have the couch in place I have an idea for how it will look so it's all good.

James left to go to the apartment to get things and meet Brandon who was willing to help move some stuff. Thank you Brandon.

William would have me listen to a little thing about the survey we would get about his service today. And he was super nice all of course we will give him a great rating.

He left and I got to work putting things back where I had them. James had had to take down a lot of my art from the back wall so I am really glad I took a picture of how the gallery wall looked so it didn't take to long to reassemble.

I would move things around and did some stuff upstairs. James was upset over at the house that none of the furniture they tried fit in our car. But they were able to get their garment rack once it was all taken apart and a few of my wall shelves and my house shelf collection.

They, James and Brandon, would come to the house soon enough. And I was so happy to see them. James kept apologizing but it was fine! I swear the way they apologize people are going to think I beat them or something. It's fine! Well get the rest of our stuff soon.

After eveything came inside James would make me corn and a quesadilla. Which was a little salty for me, getting over being sick, but once they rinsed off the corn for me it was good.

While James was cooking I gave Brandon a little tour. He said the space is cute and he's excited to see how we develop it more.

James and Brandon would continue to hang out in the kitchen while I continued to put things away. I also hung a few things up. Specifically my key rack and my hair clip rack. I struggled with getting things leveled which was incredibly frustrating for me because I usually never need to actually use a level. I'm very good at eyeballing things. I'm chalking it up to being sick. But I was very grateful to my dad for mailing me a level a while ago. Came in clutch to night.

I passed the drill off to James who put together their garment rack. Brandon headed down the street to see a girl who lives near us. Cute. And I would do some cleaning at my desk and picked some outfits for the next few days.

I would take a like warm shower. Which wasn't ideal but actually wasn't to unpleasant. It was nice to be cozy in bed again though.

Which is where I am now. Having a little ice cream. Took more lidocaine to hopefully keep myself from coughing all night. Because I really would like to go to camp and do some work at least for a little while. I don't know if I'll make it the whole day but I want to get out of the house and try to feel normal.

I hope you all have a nice night tonight. And a beautiful day tomorrow. Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!

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holly-louisexox · 10 months

Text

Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 12

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices…

…But then things changed.

Not my GIF

Author's Note:

Trigger Warning: This part does have a brief mention of the deadly C word (Cancer) so please look after yourselves if this is upsetting to you. Also feel free to message me if needed, I know how upsetting it can be, as someone who has lost someone near and dear to me to this dreaded disease.

Also some slightly spicy content up ahead too ;P

-----------------

Shevy created a new group chat:

Hey, why didn't we make a group chat sooner? Anyway, anyone who's up for a shopping and exploring trip today, meet downstairs at the hotel lobby in 30 minutes. x

That was the text Delia saw light up her phone; it was from Shevy. It was weird, they had done 5 out of the 8 weeks of this tour already, but the home sickness was just starting to kick in. Sure, Delia was loving this opportunity, even with Andy being a total confusing prick, and she was talking to her parents at every chance given, but right now she was wishing nothing more than to just sit in her family home's kitchen with her mum drinking coffee as they spoke about everything and anything. Sighing, she thought it best to reply to Shevy, otherwise she'd only get her tour bestie knocking on her door instead.

Hey. I won't be coming out with you all today. Gonna just take today to myself and likely talk to my parents as I'm missing them. Have fun though. x

If anyone was going to understand how Delia was feeling, it was going to be Shevy and most likely Jinxx as Delia knew he was missing his son and wife a lot.

Message from Lonny:

No stress D, hope you're okay. x

Message from Andy:

I won't be coming with you all today. Enjoy.

Typical Andy, Delia shouldn't have even been surprised, he was most likely going to hook up with some girl like always. It's not like it mattered to her anyway, truly, it did not matter to her in the slightest. Her concern at this current time was talking to her parents.

"Hey mum." Delia smiles slightly as she hears her mother pick up the phone.

"Delia! How are you doing love? We were wondering when we'd next hear from you! How's everything going? Any updates from last time?" Delia's mother asks down the phone.

"Yeah it's still great, still loving every minute of it." Delia continues to smile; of course she had not told her family about how Andy behaves, that's a small detail they did not need to know.

"I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying it. I hope you know how proud me and your father are of you. You've worked so hard for this for so long, you really do deserve it." If Delia did not know any better she would say her mother sounded close to tears; Delia's parents always were so supportive of her life choices.

"Thanks mum, I love you." Delia starts to feel her own tears well up slightly, only 3 more weeks and she'd be home.

"Anyway I'm so sorry petal, your father and I were just about to leave for the hospital. He's got another appointment for his cancer remission, just to double check everything is still looking like the all clear."

Delia feels her smile falter slightly. 3 years ago her father was diagnosed with cancer in the prostate. Thankfully with the help of treatment he was able to beat it and had been in remission for the last 2 years, of course the fear of it coming back was always in the back of her mind. This was obviously something Delia never liked discussing with people, she was always so afraid of breaking down and seeming weak; seeming weak is definitely not something she was willing to do in front of this band, especially Andy.

"Yes, of course. Send dad my love and let me know how he gets on." Delia nods even though she was aware her mother could not see her simple reaction.

"Of course petal, I'll text you okay? I love you."

"I love you too mum." Delia smiles sadly before hearing the call end.

Petal. That was always the nickname Delia's mother had for her since Delia was a young girl. Delia's mother had always loved flowers, especially the dahlia. She had a single dahlia in her wedding boutique, which she called her good luck charm even though she knew she did not need good luck and that Delia's father was the love of her life. She knew that if she were to call her future daughter dahlia it would cause issues so that's why she chose Delia; it was so similar yet just as gorgeous in her eyes. A dahlia. The same flower on the pin that Andy had gifted her at the start of the tour.

Hearing a knock at her bedroom door Delia is instantly snapped from her thoughts. Surely it's not Shevy, they must have left by now right?

"Andy." Delia is shocked to say the least; never did she expect the selfish lead singer to be at the other side of the door.

"Hey Delia." He smiles awkwardly.

"Hey." Delia replies although it sounds more like a question.

"I um, I'm sorry about this past week. Things have been a bit weird haven't they?" He starts rocking backwards and forwards on his heels.

"Weird? You're the one who's been ignoring me!" Delia snaps slightly, she was in no mood for his confusing moods right now.

"Look Delia, I'm trying to apologise here, can you not make this hard for me?" Andy growls back slightly; as much as Delia found the guy attractive his moods really got to her. Would she lose her job if she was to swing one at him? Maybe it would knock some sense into him.

"Look Andy, whatever you have to say can it wait? I'm really not in the mood for this right now." Delia sighs; she had to be the bigger person and be civil, god knows it was rare for Andy to be the civil one.

"No it can't wait Delia." Andy remains firm but there's something that sounds vulnerable in his voice at the same time. "Look, I know I can be difficult to deal with okay? I get it. You, on the other hand, you are one of the most infuriating, most stubborn women I have ever met."

"This doesn't sound like you apologising." Delia cuts him off whilst losing her patience.

"Can you just let me finish?" Andy sighs taking a step closer to Delia and so he's inside her room. "Despite this though, I can't stop thinking about you and that is what truly confuses me."

"What?" Delia was shocked to say the least. Surely Shevy wasn't right about him?

"What the fuck have you done to me Delia Vincent?" Andy whispers slightly before shutting the door behind him and slamming his lips onto Delia's.

None of this was in Delia's plan. None of this seemed right logically, so why did it feel right to her? Delia shouldn't be kissing this asshole back, so why was she?

"If you want me to stop tell me now." Andy breaks the kiss slightly.

"I don't want you to stop Andy." Delia mutters back before she feels his lips on hers again; this time she doesn't hesitate to kiss him back and soon she feels him leading them both towards Delia's bed.

"Are you sure you're okay with this Delia? You know there's no going back after this?" Andy asks as soon as their bodies hit the double bed in Delia's hotel room.

"have you got a condom?" Delia asks to which Andy nods "Then I'm sure, I'm okay."

That was all it took for Andy to connect their lips together once more.

Yes Delia had her silly little relationships in the past and little flings but believe it or not she still sometimes felt awkward around guys. All these years her career has been more important to her than boys, whilst her friends were settling down with a family and a stable job, she was prepared to take the risk of instability to do what she loved.

So why was she doing this? Why was it with Andy of all people? Maybe the saying is true, what happens on tour stays on tour.

#andy biersack #andy black #andy bvb #cc bvb #jake bvb #jake pitts #jinxx bvb #lonny bvb #lonny eagleton #black veil brides #bvb #black veil brides fanfic #bvb fanfic

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

Note

Hi. Can't think of trigger warnings, maybe for crappy therapy and a bad therapist and some mentions of physical illness. Looking for advice. Nickname purple

I'm just wondering if you have any advice on how to get over a fear of/reluctance to seek therapy (and to am extent medical care in general). More and more often I'm starting to think I'll never be able to function normally without some help but I'm so scared to get it. In part I think this came from my mom's own mental illness and how whatever pills she took (no idea what they were or even what they were for besides that there were a lot) left her so out of it all the time and sometimes made her destructive on top of neglectful, and from my dad's distrust of the medical system as a whole, to the point of ignoring his doctors after a heart attack, not seeing care for cancer until it had progressed too far too fix, and generally being reluctant to get me any medical care and being mad at my mom if she took me to the doctor for anything, because it was babying me and would make me think it was okay to be weak and I should be stronger and trust God before 'weird medicine'. Between that and most people in my life growing up basically thinking mental Illness isn't real and anyone who claims to have it is faking maliciously or, especially if they claim to have significant past trauma, flat out delusional (and yes, they applied this to me, even when I was actively suicidal or had visible marks from abuse).

I got sent to a therapist when I was twelve, against my will in a whole court ordered thing, and while I don't remember many specifics of the first session I know I was reluctant to talk and he ended up screaming at me until I shut down. The few additional sessions there were went better, though only because I coasted through and just tried to give the most 'normal' responses to anything he said so I'd be allowed out of it all sooner.

Now, well into adulthood, my issues have only gotten worse and worse. It feels my mind is falling apart and I'm so frequently scared, my emotional regulation and memory are practically non-existent. I can't get away from self harm or disordered eating (though I often doubt a therapist would think those things are significant), can barely keep myself from falling back into substances. I can barely get a job or keep it and sometimes the only thing keeping me here is being scared to die though sometimes that doesn't even work (I'm not actively suicidal right now just to clarify). More than ever it feels like I'm barely real or even alive.

But I'm still scared to even try to schedule a therapy or psychiatrist appointment. I'm scared I won't even be able to talk when asked what's wrong since more and more now I've been having verbal shutdowns, especially in frightening enchantments or under the slightest stress, which I respond to worse than ever lately. I've been thinking of writing down a summary of what's going on but I don't know if they'll accept that, if they'll want me to talk normally. I'm scared they'll want me to go into past trauma but I just can't, not to a stranger or sometimes to anyone at all. I'm scared they'll think I'm just making everything up and turn me away. I'm scared they'll think I'm just a whiny child that can't handle normal life, or I'm just looking for some excuse to not participate in society or get drugs or something (funny, since I'm afraid to take meds and I'd probably just refuse if prescribed something controlled). I'm just scared and I know I won't be able to take it if I get even a fraction of the treatment I did at that therapist back then or most other times I've tried to bring up anything wrong with me to people in my life. I just don't know what to do I'm sorry I'm sorry

Hi Purple, I am so sorry for your experiences, and would like to start by validating your mental health struggles, and trauma history, and commend you for the self awareness it takes to want to develop new coping skills for a healthy functioning base line. We all deserve the space and time to explore what that means for us, and I hope you find yours as well. It makes all the sense in the world to me, that with both your background, and experiences, that the thought of seeking out therapy would feel the way it does for you. I deeply empathize with it, and know it is something that unfortunately does happen within the medical community. I had the opportunity to reply to a previous ask about something similar that I'll link here as well, but essentially, I'd like to copy over two core parts of it: This link about red flags in therapists (not to discourage!) but to help validate your experiences and not potentially self-gas light yourself as you navigate new medical professionals along your healing journey.

But also this part:

"Of course it’s very understandable that without feeling safe, the appointment could feel so jarring that even if you meet a kind one, it could be hard to convey what you’re looking for.

My first advice would be to ask if someone can go with you, someone you feel comfortable with, and who you might even be able to practice a dialogue with beforehand.

Even if they can, or cannot come, my second piece of advice is to have your questions written down as well. Worst come to worst, if you feel unable to verbally share your concerns, perhaps you could slide them over so they can reply.

My third piece of advice is to ask for a print out of the after visit summary, with clear instructions and follow up to what the next steps might be - something you can refer to in the future as well." Regardless of what you choose moving forward, I hope you find someone who helps you feel seen, heard, and encourages you along your healing path.

Mod Kat

#trauma talks #mod kat #therapy #purple

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grumpyascianteddybear · 1 year

Text

Hello

@seatedsacrifice Here is a second thing, and I hand you the pool noodle of feels.

A hum left her as she got up, the snakes letting her go. Looking back at him there was a humorless chuckle as he now only vaguely resembled Polaris. The features that marked him as a voidsent were clearly present now. All it took was her giving up that last little bit of hope that her husband would be back. It was almost freeing not to have the needle-like pain anymore.

A hum left her as she got dressed and went to the kitchen. She would need to make breakfast for them. Hadianna made three portions as Ophiuchus still ate with them despite being a voidsent. That was fine. There was plenty of food. It also would keep Aurora from asking why he wasn’t eating; something she had often done when he first arrived six months ago.

“Playground school bell rings again/Rain clouds come to play again/Has no one told you she's not breathing?” Hadianna started to sing as she cooked. A sad song, perhaps, but one that rang true given the current situation. Her mind had tried giving her a ghost to talk to and now that ghost had been dispelled. “Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to/Hello”

As the door opened she glanced up briefly to see her father. Another portion would be needed. She wasn’t about to let him go hungry either. Her movements were methodical with none of the tense shakiness that she had over the last six months. Wonderful! It was so good not to be on the edge of a breakdown all day every day.

“If I smile and don't believe/Soon I know I'll wake from this dream” It was like waking up from a dream. She had been trying to hold onto something that no longer existed. Now, now things would settle properly. He was a voidsent with which she made a pact, nothing more and nothing less. If there was some attachment then perhaps they could grow close. She was just no longer hoping for it, no longer sitting at the edge of her seat waiting for something that would likely never come. He was a voidsent. They didn’t do emotions. All that mattered was that he had some freedom and aether to munch on. That was all she was, a food source that he did tasks for. “Don't try to fix me I'm not broken/Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide/”Don't cry”

Some might have said she was broken for looking at it like this. He was her husband! She shouldn’t give up on hope! But hope had brought her nothing but pain. Shackling her into a mindset that benefited no one, least of all him or herself. All it did was create a rift between them and that was helping nothing. No, better to put hope in a box and toss the key.

“Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping” She hadn’t been sleeping much the last six months. Small naps were taken when he was off somewhere doing whatever voidsent did. At night all she did was stay up and bake her mind too twisted to let her do much else. He enjoyed lounging on her bed and taunting her, and until last night she had refused to give in. Perhaps she should have done that sooner. No, she had not been ready for the epiphany those other times. “Hello I'm still here”

This song was all that would be left. After this, she would not think about the last six months. Though she was sure she would think fondly about her time spent with her husband, he was dead. Perhaps it was time to do one last thing. She would always love this necklace and had kept it on from the moment it was given until now. But if she really wanted this to stick then it was time to let it go.

She took the food off the stove and fixed everyone's plates. Once that was done she headed back into the bedroom. Hadianna didn’t care if he was awake or not. He would not care whether she wore the necklace or not. He was a voidsent, he was not Polaris. Taking off the necklace she opened the lid of her large jewelry box. The wooden rose, encrusted with moonstone and star rubies was gently placed in the box. Maybe one day she would be able to wear this again. When that would be she did not know. “All that's left of yesterday”

#paragraphs of twilight (hadianna ficlet)#Spotify

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silverwings22 · 2 years

Text

Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 11 How to Save a Life: The Fray

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness

Chapter Warnings: character injury, baby's first war crime

Translations: ni kar'tayl gar darasuum: I know/love you for eternity

cyare: beloved

Previous chapter:

Next chapter:

The 212th showed up to take the freed slaves home or to a refugee camp if they didn't have one to return to. Obi-wan was pleased with the smoldering wreckage of the factory when he arrived, and since Crosshair had finally set Miria back on her feet he walked over to talk to her. He hadn't missed the clone sniper following her like a second shadow, but she seemed unconcerned so he didn't ask.

"I must admit, your unit is unorthodox Miria. But you do get results." He chuckled.

"My boys are the best. No offense, Cody." She smiled as the commander passed by.

"None taken, General Halcyon." He chuckled.

Miria leaned back, crossing her arms. "Luckily we got all the prisoners out without casualties, but how many were killed before we arrived? It's disgusting."

"It's a cruel reality of war." Obi-wan sighed. "But I am proud of you for saving so many lives. The Council is as well… there may be a seat in the council room for you sooner rather than later."

Behind her, Crosshair stiffened. Miria smiled a little. "Me, a master… goodness, I never thought of that. I wonder what Master Koon thinks."

"It was his suggestion." Obi-wan chuckled. "I think you'd make an excellent addition."

Miria chuckled. "We'll be returning to Coruscant for some much-needed rest. We can discuss this there. But I think I'm ready for a lie-down…"

"How are you doing, Miria? Really?" Obi-wan put a hand on her arm. Crosshair thought about breaking his fingers, but held still.

"I'm alright. I'm doing good work, I've made amazing friends, I've found new perspective… I think I'm happy, Obi-wan. My body hurts, but I've never felt more alive." She looked at him, and there was a charming brightness in her lavender eyes. "I'll see you back on Coruscant, yes?"

"I'll buy lunch. Dex's?" He laughed.

"I'm dying for a milkshake. Come on, Crosshair. It's time."

The sniper nodded impassively and they headed back to the speeders, but Obi-wan noted the hand settled carefully on his old friend's shoulder and the quick glance she shot up at the clone. There was something in the Force between them that shimmered like sunlight on a clear lake.

Miria slung a leg over the back of the speeder and wrapped her arms around Crosshairs middle. "Missed you." She said quietly.

He was quiet a minute. "I missed you too. Let's get back. " he hit the throttle and they took off, her with her cheek pressed against the back of his armor and him comforted by her arms around his waist.

"We'll catch up." Hunter chuckled quietly as Tech gave him a look. "Give them a minute."

When they reached the ship, Crosshair scooped Miria off the speeder. She smiled. "You didn't give the others too hard of a time while I was gone, did you?"

"I'm not answering that." He grumbled. "Let's just say you wouldn't have liked it."

"Cross…"

"No. Hunter made me leave you down there. While someone was hurting you." He snarled. "I almost hit him."

"That's not a fight you want to get in, love."

"Don't care." He carried her into the Marauder. "At least I'd have been doing something. Instead of just sitting there watching that fucking whip."

She tucked her head under his chin. "It was the right thing to do, Cross. For the good of others."

"What about your own good, Miria? I'm tired of watching you destroy yourself for other people. I'm tired of finding you broken and bloody. I'm tired of not being able to protect you!" He hadn't realized his voice was raised until it echoed around the ship. She was stiffened in his arms, and he dropped his head. "Sorry… I'm not yelling at you. I swear."

"I know." She murmured softly. "You're frustrated."

"I should be keeping you safe. But I'm not. The thing with that Sith, this… how many close calls before I lose you? And now the council…? You might be safer, but-"

"I'm not leaving the team, Cross. If the council asks that of me, I'll decline. And it would be a temporary position anyway. I'm leaving the Order after the war." Her voice was firm. "To be with you."

He kissed her quietly, standing in the middle of the hold. "So fucking recklessly kind. What am I going to do with you?" He muttered faintly.

"If all goes well? What's today, Wednesday? The war will be declared over on Thursday, I'll announce my resignation from the Jedi on Friday, and we'll get married on Saturday." She teased.

He sucked in a breath. "Don't joke about that."

She met his eyes. "I'm not joking, darling. I'll marry you if you'll have me." Her fingers curled in his hair, bravery finding its way to her voice. "Marry you, have a family together, build a home. Give you everything you want but won't ask for because you're so bloody stubborn."

He rested his forehead on hers. "I'm probably the least prepared person in the galaxy to be a husband or father."

"Good thing I'm a children's teacher." She chuckled.

"What if I fuck it up?" He frowned. "I'm not exactly-"

"Cross, do you remember what you said to me a year ago? That I was letting a few people convince me I wasn't worth knowing? You're letting the same thing happen to you right now. You want this, yes?"

He closed his eyes. "Do you even have to ask?"

"Tell me, Crosshair. Do you want to marry me?"

His voice was cracked when he answered, arms tightening around her. "Yes." Maker, he wanted it. Wanted something concrete, something that screamed at the galaxy that this woman loved him and they couldn't drag her out of his arms with all the firepower in the GAR.

She smiled. "Then what are you so afraid of?"

He wanted to rebuff the accusation he was afraid, but she knew him too well. He sighed. "What if I fuck it up?" He murmured quietly. "What if we do have kids… what if they hate me?"

"Oh Cross…" she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "What if they love you?"

He sat down in the hold, cradling her to him. "Fuck. You see right through me…"

Miria smiled. "I see your light. And I love it."

Crosshair couldn't help but smile back. "Let me fix your back up. We gotta return those speeders when everyone gets back…"

"Alright. I want to get out of this outfit anyway."

He begrudgingly let her out of his lap and followed her to the bunkroom, where she tossed the shredded and filthy clothes off. "How do you look so good in civilian clothes? I swear, I've yet to find-"

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. "I thought you were cute. Lay down, let me see how bad it is."

She smiled and lay down on her stomach. Crosshair knelt beside the bed and examined the dried bloody cuts in her skin before cleaning and bandaging her up. She chuckled. "No backless dress for a while, I suppose?"

"You wear a backless dress and I will go feral." He smirked.

"Oh, is that a promise? Because we missed our first anniversary and I intend to celebrate properly when we reach Coruscant." She chuckled, sitting up and reaching for her normal clothes. "Gloves off, darling."

"Develop a hand kink in the last day?"

"I know you punched the ship and Hunter said you cracked rock when you saw me get hurt. Let me see." She cocked an eyebrow casually. "Hit anything else?"

He paused. "Kinda was hoping you hadn't seen that…"

"Hand, Cross." She held hers out expectantly. He grumbled but took off his right glove.

His knuckles were black and blue, torn open and caked with dried blood. They looked swollen when he flexed his fingers, and she carefully traced the bones with a fingertip to be sure he hadn't broken anything. "Darling, your trigger hand." She murmured.

"Sorry… I just… I was furious and had no where to go with it." He muttered awkwardly as she dabbed bacta on the hand gently. "You were in trouble and I couldn't fix it."

"Don't I know that feeling. I could have died when you got shot on Salucemi." She sighed, bandaging him up. "We'll work on it."

"Yeah… promise." His fingertips brushed up her arm and settled under her chin, turning her pretty face to him. "I love you. Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum."

"I love you too, my darling."

Returning the speeders should have been easy enough. They'd left Wrecker to pack up camp, since he'd had some extra energy to burn and Hunter wanted a few quieter moments before they met him at the space port in Mos Eisley. They were almost to the city when Miria held a hand up. "Hold a moment. There's… something around here. Something concerning."

They all pulled over. Tech frowned and wiped grit from his goggles. "How concerning is concerning, General?"

She swung her legs over and dismounted. "Something… an echo in the Force. It's not actively dangerous, but something terrible has happened here."

"Miria…" Crosshair frowned as she headed past him, across a high sand dune. "Fucking hell…"

Hunter sighed. "Jedi are weird." He dismounted, and the three of them went after her. The sergeant paused, sniffing the air. "... It smells like death."

"Because it is." Miria called as they crested the dune. She was looking down at a half buried Tuskan village, utterly decimated. "Force… this was a massacre."

Hunter skidded down to take a look. "Infighting between clans?" Tech frowned.

Miria touched a shredded tent. "No… look at this burn."

"A lightsaber." Hunter nodded. "One of those Sith?"

Miria knelt by a half buried skeleton, eyes wide. "This was a child…" she whispered. "Why would a Sith attack a village with women and children…?"

"That Ventress seemed like a bitch." Crosshair frowned. It did seem odd, though. This was a low value target, why would a Sith waste their time?

Miria lay her hand on the broken mask of the dead child. "Show me, little one…"

Sorrow boiled into unbridled fury like an unattended kettle. Screaming, a flash of light. Blue light, not red. The dead woman hung limp in strong arms not strong enough to save her. Failure, he'd failed, she was dead and he'd known she was in danger and he still hadn't come. Mother. Mother, dying breath was her love he didn't deserve. They'd killed her. They had to pay, even the score of a cruel galaxy that had stolen the only good thing he'd had. Terror from the Tuskan as they scattered, not fast enough to escape his rage. It consumed all like a lava tide.

She snatched her hand away. "Anakin…"

Hunter frowned. "Why would General Skywalker…"

"His mother." She stood, closing her eyes. Tears pricked them, for her friend's suffering and the senseless slaughter before her. Oh Anakin, how could you?

She lifted her hands and the sands shifted, burying the dead completely until the sands lay smooth and the broken village was left entombed. "May the Force guide these souls back to it's embrace." She murmured. "Let's go… there's nothing left here but ghosts."

Crosshair caught up to her first as she headed back to the speeders. "You okay?"

"No." She muttered. "My friend, someone I've known since he was a little boy… he murdered children, Cross. I… I know it was grief, I know he suffered greatly at his mother's death but… Force, Crosshair. I could almost understand the captors. But their families? How can that be the same boy I helped raise?"

"I'm sorry, cyare." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Really, I am."

"I know… I just…. I have to talk to him when we get back to Coruscant. He's hurting, and his pain could allow this to happen again. He needs help. I can't avenge the dead, it's not our way. But I could protect the living. And save him from being lost to the-" She paused, coughing sharply into her elbow.

"You overdid it, didn't you?" He frowned, the hand on her tightening a little.

"We're going back to the Temple soon. I'll be fine." She shook her head. "It's okay."

He nodded, anxious, watching her get back on the speeder. They headed back towards Mos Eisley, everyone stuck in their thoughts. Miria felt her heart breaking for her old friend.

Anakin...

Miria put her crew up in a nice hotel on Coruscant, before going off to the Temple to get checked out. They needed to decompress as much as she did.

"You seem troubled, young Halcyon." Master Che murmured as she settled into a seat and the healer began to tend her aching chest. "What bothers a light so bright?"

"Just a lot on my mind. It will all be released into the Force." Miria murmured.

"I would think you'd be happy. I've heard the Temple gossip. Someone is being considered for the high council." The twi'lek chuckled fondly.

Miria smiled faintly. "It's a great honor to even be considered."

Master Che patted her shoulder. "Enjoy your leave, dear. You've earned it."

"Thank you." Miria pulled her cloak back up. "I told Anakin we'd have dinner together, I should head out and find him." What she'd seen on Tattooine still haunted her, but she couldn't find it to even be angry any longer. She was just heartbroken for Anakin.

"I believe the young Hero Without Fear is in his room. I spotted Ahsoka Tano with Bariss Offee out by the gardens."

"Lovely. Thank you, Master." She smiled and headed out, stretching her shoulders. The ache in her joints felt better immediately following a session in the Halls. It never really went away, but she didn't feel it grating on her nerves. She needed the relief, before she broke down in frustration one day.

Force knew Plo Koon had dealt with that many times. And poor Crosshair didn't need that stress right now.

She drifted over to Anakin's door and knocked.

The door opened after a minute, revealing her tousle- haired friend in his sweatpants and a loose shirt. "Miri!" He grinned. "I didn't think you'd be out of the Halls yet. Come on in, I picked up some of that tea you like." He stepped aside so she could come in. "Okay, technically I asked Obi-wan to pick it up, but he knows way more about tea than I do."

She chuckled. "I appreciate the thought. How are you?"

"Way better after that nap I just took. Ship beds are so uncomfortable."

Miria chuckled. "When I first took my assignment, I slept in a hammock in the cargo hold. I understand."

"I'll turn on the kettle." He grinned. "How'd Tattooine go?"

"Ah… I wanted to talk to you about that." She quieted. "Anakin… how are you really?"

The man froze at her tone, looking at her with a concerned expression. Her eyes found his blue ones, and he was relieved that he only saw concern. "I'm fine. Why?"

She took a steadying breath. "I know what happened to your mother."

The speed at which he shut down almost came with an audible snap. "What do you mean?" His voice went low, almost threatening.

Miria straightened her back. "I found a destroyed village, Anakin. Please… just talk to me." Her voice stayed soft and kind, like he was a feral massiff as likely to bite as to run. "Let me help you."

He stared at her for a long time before his shoulders relaxed marginally, determining she wasn't a threat. "I'm sorry, Miri… I made a mistake."

"Come sit with me. Tell me what happened, dear. I want to help you. I know you're hurting." She reached for his hand.

Desperation met her halfway, his metal fingers curling into her soft ones, and she pulled him to his own couch and sat him down. It reminded her of long ago, when he'd come to her rooms with tearful frustration and beg her to help him make sense of this new world he barely understood.

He hung his head quietly. "I couldn't save her, Miri… I tried. I was having dreams about her dying, but Obi-wan told me not to dwell on them, and then… I knew something was wrong and I didn't go immediately. When I got there, it was too late. She died in my arms."

Miria kept a grip on his hands, worried he'd slip away like sand in fingertips if she loosened her grip. "When, dear?"

"Right before Geonosis… I was with Pad- Senator Amidala. She believed me and we went to Tattooine together."

"That's been over a year, Anakin… you've been carrying this all this time alone?"

He looked up. "Who can I tell? The council already barely trusts me, no matter what I do!"

She took a deep breath. "Oh Anakin… you've already suffered so much in your short life. You don't have to be alone. I'm here, and Obi-wan-"

"You can't tell Obi-wan, Miri! He'd be furious!"

"He'd be worried, as I am." Her voice was firm. "You know Obi-wan loves you. You're a brother to him, as you are to me."

"And you're disappointed in me, aren't you?" He started to pull his hands away, frustration creeping back into his eyes.

"I'm worried about you. There's a difference." She held tightly. "But I know you, Anakin. You're not a terrible person. You're a good man, I've watched you grow from a frightened boy into a brave knight of the Order. I'm proud of you." She squeezed his hands. "I need you to believe that. I didn't come here to scream at you. I came here to help my friend. You're in pain."

He hung his head again, leaning into her shoulder when she tugged him into a hug. "I was so angry, Miri. I couldn't stop… until they were all dead. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

She pressed a kiss to the top of his head like she had when he was a child, holding him like a youngling even though he was several inches taller than her. "I know, sweetheart. I know. I'm here. You're not alone, Anakin."

"I always thought you were like a little mom, you know. You remind me of her… she was always kind hearted." He mumbled. "Do you think she's disappointed in me?"

"I think she knows how much her son loved her, Anakin." She hugged him a little tighter. "How great an honor it is, to be loved so much."

He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "You won't tell Obi-wan?"

"No. But I think you should, when you're ready. Until then, your secret's safe with me…"

"Will you keep one more secret? In case I… you said I'm not alone, right? Can I tell you something, so if anything happens I can come to you?" He looked up, and she saw that nervous padawan she'd always loved back again in his eyes. It blew her mind that this was the same General Skywalker that lit up the holo news with his daring victories.

"Of course."

"I'm married." He sat up slowly, just in case her hug turned into a headlock.

Miria blinked, buffering like an old data pad. "Married… to who?!"

He looked sheepish. "Padme Amidala…"

"The Senator?!"

"You're the one who said I could talk to you!"

"You can! It's just…" she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I didn't see that coming. Hold on, give me a moment. I knew you had a crush on her as a youngling…"

"It just kind of worked out in my favor… we got married after Geonosis."

"You know the council wouldn't approve." She sighed.

"I'm not asking them to. I love her."

She looked up and her smile surprised him. "That's fair enough, I suppose. Goodness, and I thought I was breaking rules left and right."

"You?" He cocked an eyebrow. "You're the Order's Golden Girl."

"Gold also tarnishes, dear. I'm not nearly as good at following the Code as some might think."

Anakin grinned. "I smell a good story."

She laughed. "Will you keep my secret, then?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah. I swear." This was too good to pass up. The Order's darling with a dirty little secret? Oh Maker, yes.

"I… well, I'm in a romantic relationship with one of my teammates." She tread carefully, watching his face. "And we've agreed to be married after the war."

"You're engaged to a clone. Holy kriffing shit." He gasped.

"Language." She clucked her tongue. "You're as bad as he is."

"Engaged, Miri!"

"It's not quite so formal as that. It's just something we've talked about…"

"Which one?!" He was delighted now.

Her lips quirked softly. "Crosshair. The sniper."

"This is hysterical, Miri. You're up for consideration on the Council."

"I intend to leave the Order after the war." She chuckled faintly. "If I'm fortunate, I'll be permitted to continue seeking treatment with the healers here, even after I'm no longer a Jedi. Then he and I can have a relatively normal life…"

"What if they don't allow that?" He sobered suddenly. "You'll die…"

"Then I'll steal as much time as I'm allowed, and try to leave behind a child to love him when I'm gone." She looked so… at peace about it. "I don't fear death, Anakin. I've been dying all my life. When I met him, I finally started living. A few years of something wonderful is better than a hundred of nothing special."

Anakin smiled and hugged her again. "You're brave, Miri. I always liked that about you."

She chuckled. "Come on. Let's get dinner. I'm starving, and Obi-wan owes me a milkshake. Dex's?"

"Sounds good. I'll call him."

"Wonderful. It's been too long since we've all hung out." She chuckled. "And an order of onion rings is calling my name."

He grinned. "Let me get dressed in something other than nap clothes. Hold on a sec."

She waited on the couch, chuckling. "You know, Cross was terribly jealous of our friendship. Wait until I tell him you're married!"

"It should put him at ease. You're not my type anyway."

"Nor are you mine." She laughed. Everything was alright. Anakin was going to be okay, she'd made sure he was supported. The dark side couldn't have him.

#crosshair #crosshair smut #eventual smut #explict #original character #clone force 99 #caught in the crosshairs

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