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strangertheories · 2 years

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Hiii!!! if you haven't already answered this, how do you think season 5 will play out?

Especially including Will's whole connection with the UD and it being stuck on November 6th, 1983.

Another long post, folks! I'll be sharing some theories based on what we know so far and stuff in Volume 2 and talk about some characters, ships, plot points and how I think the show will end. This is what we know so far:

It'll be full circle to season 1

It will center Will Byers

It will have a bigger focus on why the Upside Down is frozen on the day Will went missing

We'll see a lot of the groups and pairings from S1, such as Nancy, Johnathan and Steve

It'll take place entirely in Hawkins

It will have a time skip, probably to 1988, after the first few episodes

It will have a conclusive ending and no direct spin offs (ie with the same characters and lore)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but apart from actors saying what they wish for their characters, this is all we know so far. So it's kinda difficult to paint a picture of what I think will happen. I will however share some of my ideas below, although these will be less evidence based.

First of all, Nancy's speech in Volume 2. Nancy says that Vecna shows her the mega gate opening and the sky full of billowing smoke or something along those lines. This all came true. She also says that there is an army of monsters, one of which has a 'big gaping mouth', dead soldiers and the dead bodies of Mike, Holly and Karen. This has not came true yet.

I believe the monsters and soldiers part will happen, but not the last part. In terms of monsters, when Chrissy saw the clock there were four cracks that led to a big crack in the center (like Hawkins) and then we saw a bunch of spiders crawl out. Demo spiders? But that doesn't fit with the big gaping mouth' description given by Nancy, which could indicate a thessalhydra, as referenced previously. In terms of the soldiers, I assume that once monsters start crawling out of the cracks, they'll be the first to go. However, I don't know if they'd give away Mike's death so early nor if Eleven would let that happen in the first place.

But how does that fit into the time skip? Maybe the season starts with them "sealing in" the monsters and closing the mega gate, however they still don't know where Vecna is so they decide to wait in Hawkins for him to gather back his resources and strike harder. On the other hand, maybe they fully believe he was defeated only for that to be deadly wrong. Another possibility is that the mega gate doesn't close at all and they stay in Hawkins waiting for something to happen, although I don't know what the first two episodes would consist of then.

Next up, our favourite bowl cut, William Jacob Byers. I've spoken a lot about Will's links with Vecna. The way he was taken in S1 combined with the parallels as well as the fact the Upside Down was frozen on the day he got there and his true sight makes me believe there's something more going on with him. As seen by the end of Volume 2, Will can still sense Vecna so that's going to play a major role. The question is whether Vecna is going to want Will to join him. Vecna loves projecting on kids who are bullied for not conforming to social norms based on his past with Eleven.

I believe that Vecna was testing Will in S1 to see if he was a good enough vessel to bring the Upside Down to Hawkins, so at the end he gave him true sight and planted the demo slug in him. I don't think Vecna wants to kill or hurt Will (don't get me wrong, he would, but he wouldn't want to). In S2 he says he can feel that he wants everyone dead except for Will. I think this is linked to the Upside Down freezing but I can't explain why or how, it just feels too significant not to think about.

In terms of his sexuality, Will is almost certainly going to come out in S5 based on comments from Noah Schnapp saying how we have to wait for his coming out scene and it'll be super special when it happens. Whilst it's annoying we were told it would be clarified in Volume 2, I do think it makes sense for his character to take his time to come out based on the homophobia Will has experienced. I think with family we'll get a quieter and more emotional scene. However, with Mike, I feel like it could be more explosive with him yelling 'because I love you!' in an arguement or something. Bonus points if Will starts apologizing or crying but Mike reciprocates it and we get a super angsty kiss. I don't know if that would actually happen but I feel like it would be cool and would make sense.

In terms of Max, I think she's going to wake up out of her coma and have no memories or anything like that. The group will read her letters but nothing happens. I think maybe at some point she could become a vessel for Vecna as foreshadowed in the lyrics of Master of Puppets (Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings... Blinded by me you can't see a thing). That or she will be used as a weapon as Dustin in S2 stated zombies are immune from the mind flayer because they have no mind to flay. Either way, I think her memories will return to her once Vecna is defeated. I really hope they don't cure her of her blindness or from being paralyzed because so much disabled rep ends up with the disabled person being cured.

In terms of romantic relationships, I'm fairly certain that Lumax and Jopper are going to be canon. With Lumax, once Max gets her memories back, I think it would be nice to see her finally going to that movie with Lucas with Lucas doing live audio description because she's blind or something like that. And maybe even have Jopper go on that Enzo date. For other relationships, I'm less certain, especially ones involving Mike and Nancy. I hope Mike ends up with Will and Nancy ends up with Robin (or single if not), but I'm not sure how much faith I have in the writers. I also don't really care what's canon and I will keep on shipping Byler and Ronance no matter what happens. No one, not even the show itself, can convince me that they aren't in love with each other. I'm not saying that they're both going to be canon or that they're equally as likely to be canon, I'm just saying that if it's not I'd view it as a missed opportunity if that makes sense.

Now onto the ending. I have a theory that S5 will be a bit like the last season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. For those of you who don't know, in S7 of Buffy, the hell mouth is opened leading to lots of weird supernatural goings on that are impossible to ignore. This leads to people moving away from Sunnydale in order to get away from the supernatural goings on. In the end, in order to destroy the hell mouth, the whole town is destroyed. The whole hell mouth thing is very reminiscent of the mega gate from the end of S4 and I also think the town will probably find out about the Upside Down, leading to them leaving, which would parallel this even more.

This is similar to the ending of the book It where Pennywise is so intrinsically linked to Derry that Derry starts getting destroyed by itself. I think that because the Upside Down and Vecna are so truly Hawkins-ian (I'm making it a word), in order to destroy it/him, they have to sacrifice their town. I don't have proof for it, it just seems very poetic. Also a loveable character sacrifices themselves which would fit if the show is going full circle to S1. Since Eleven is so linked with Vecna, could this mean she has to die to save her friends?

I just realized I forgot to include Eddie! I think pre time skip, Eddie is going to be major focus in terms of grieving, especially with Dustin and the Hellfire Club. He'll still be referenced in Volume 2, but it'll be a smaller focus. I think clearing his name is going to be a big motivation for the characters this season. Speaking about the Eddie is Kas theory, I think zombie Eddie or vampire Eddie might work, but I hope they don't bring him back to life. The show needs to commit to character deaths or it's hard to invest yourself in the stakes of the series. If Vecna uses his body as a puppet to manipulate our characters or in a trance like Billy or Barb, I think that could work and be a good way to get Joseph Quinn back on the show. But I don't think they're going to bring him back to life.

None of this is concrete and it's just my theories for now. I have way more thoughts but this is getting a bit long. But I hope this helped!

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willel · 2 years

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Hi! What do you think about theories saying that Will be the key to defeat Vecna/UD once and for all? TBH, I'm conflicted. I'd love to have more Will moments (especially with El and the Byers) and be Superspy, but at the same time I think El should be the one to finish it/him. I know the UD is stuck on the day Will went missing/is connected to it and he's very siminar to 001, but El banished Henry there years before the kidnapping and they have unfinished business as welll...

I've made a few of those theories myself.

To be clear, the theory is not that Will is gonna do all the work and completely eradicate Vecna all by himself. That's ridiculous.

The idea is that Will is an integral part in defeating him, and when he does whatever role he has to play, it will ultimately lead to Vecna's downfall.

Yes, El and Vecna go way back and have some unfinished business, but Will has been tormented by this guy for 2-3 years at this point. Vecna was literally in his mind and body for a time, the two of them were one (I feel gross saying that) and Will suffered for it.

El deserves to punch him in the face, which has twice now. I just want Will to get a lick in.

Let's go over a hypothetical game plan, a fake one I'm making up. I think I've spoke about it before, but why not again.

So from what we know, Vecna is in at least two place at once. His actual body, which is currently injured and probably hiding somewhere, and his mental body.

In season 4, Max distracted the mental body so that the rest of them could attack the real body. El, in order to protect Max, went to fight the mind body too.

But let's switch it up. Maybe in season 5, El needs to go and find the real body to destroy that and someone else needs to go into the mind and distract him? A dangerous situation, but not else can be done because El NEEDS to destroy the body.

Not only that, even if his body is in a bad state, he's still more powerful than her usually except moments when she has high positive emotion. What can they do about that?

My theory is that Vecna is so powerful do to all the souls he has stolen this far. His mom, his sister, Chrissy, Patrick, Fred, and all the numbered children? All their pain and sorry have amplified his own pain and sorrow, making him more powerful. Unlike El, he draws strength from negative emotions.

Maybe El remembers him telling her that. That everyone is not gone, but in his head? In that case, they not only need someone to go into his mind, but they need someone to free the souls that are trapped there, thereby weakening him.

And what do you know, we have the perfect candidate, William Byers, who is still psychically connected to Vecna's mind!

So the plan is as follows:

El, the "Superhero", must find Vecna (probably with Will's help) and confront his physical form head on, psychic against psychic.

Will, the "Superspy", must sneak into Vecna's mind in the mean time and cut loose all the souls he has captured, thereby slowly giving El the upperhand.

Of course, being in Vecna's mind is a dangerous place to be and Will won't have an easy time if he gets found out before the battle is engaged. Not to mention what trouble he'll have to deal with when Vecna realizes what he's doing in there.

Only when Will and El have both played their parts will Vecna finally be defeated.

Or something.

Will will still get his revenge for all the pain and suffering he's been through. El can finally put the nail in the coffin once and for all, ending her and Will's torment at last.

#stranger things #willel #will byers #el hopper #vecna #henry creel #theory #ask

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will80sbyers · 2 years

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Sorry if this is long but I just wanted to hear your opinion on this

The theory of time being ''stuck'' in the UD bc of Will's having time travel/manipulation powers do not make sense to me. Because the thing is-- It's not about the UD being stuck in time. It's about the UD being shaped to look like Hawkins. So it's like an illusion of Hawkins, a recreation of 6th of November.

Because the UD wasn't even looking like Hawkins before. It was just this yellowish desert when Vecna/Henry ended up in there. So someone shaped the UD to look like Hawkins at some point (that point being when Will went missing and ended up in the UD on 6th of November). It has nothing to do with the time travel/time being stuck. It's about shaping something to look like something else.

But, here is the thing. There's only two people who could have shaped the UD to look like Hawkins at that time: Vecna or Will. Because there was no one in the UD at that time, it was just Vecna and Will (Vecna was already there since its his 'home' and Will entered there in the 6th of November because he was abducted to the UD)

Now, one of the theories suggests that Will might have shaped the UD to look like Hawkins because Will has the power to shape and create things, right? But would he really have been that powerful enough to shape an entire dimension to look like Hawkins? Let's say he was traumatized and that's how he accidentally unlocked his powers to do something like that, however, it still doesn't make any sense to me that Will would have been THAT strong enough to do something like that even if he potentially has powers.

Another thing that doesn't make sense to me about this theory is that why would Will want to recreate the day he went missing? Like. the 6th of November is the worst day of his life. Why would he want to recreate that day? Why not, idk, recreate 5th of November for example, the day he was still in the real world, orr any other day before he went missing? It doesn't make sense to me that Will would want to recreate his worst day ever.

Now that's where the things get a little weird because if Will didn't shape the UD, then as I've said there is only one other person who could have shaped it and that's Vecna. We already know Vecna has the powers to create/shape things and create illusions, we've seen it already. And the UD is literally his 'home' so he knows the place already. Him shaping the UD makes more sense than the assumption that Will shaped the UD the moment he entered the UD.

But the question is that, why would Vecna shape the UD to look like Hawkins on the same day Will ended up in the UD on 6th of November.....?

I don't think anyone shaped it intentionally to be like the 6th of November, I think it happened on the 6th of November and that's why it is still like that

anyway, I agree that the time travel thing is not based on enough evidence to say that it's happening (even if I could see it happen)

but

for me there are a few possibilities:

1) no one shaped anything, when Eleven opened the portal between realities the light in Hawkins got reflected upside down like it happens in a camera obscura and automatically created the upside down Hawkins accidentally

2) Vecna created a copy of Hawkins because he wants to put there all the people of the town to show them their hypocrisy and bigotry, he wants to show them that their town is something rotten and awful like the Hawkins UD... he did it on the 6th of November because he needed Will for something that day and took him and then he left it like that because he essentially doesn't give af on which day it is stuck, that's not important to him, what's important is to open a gate and put all the Hawkins people there and kill them for revenge

3) Will totally on accident without realizing it....SUBCONSCIOUSLY... created the Hawkins UD when he was kidnapped because he was a child that wanted to go home to his mom and he's a child with a big imagination and has lived in Hawkins all his life + he has an artist soul... he probably observed all the houses and can picture everything perfectly in his mind = create a good copy of it...

I think they could explain him doing that by the fact that he wanted to go home and was probably thinking about his family and friends so he got all the power to do that because we know that Eleven's powers are powerful when she thinks about memories of loved ones/people that love her

Will was a very unlucky kid because of his father but he was always, and is still, so SO loved... he's powerful ❤️

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #ask #st5 theory

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aemiron-main · 1 year

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I enjoyed your theory but i think the time travel theories logically don't make sense. Because the thing with the Upside Down is that it isn't stuck in time. It's literally shaped to be something else. Because we've seen how it originally looked like. It was just this yellowish desert. But later on (on the same day Will went missing) it got shaped to look like Hawkins. So, it's not that the time stuck on that day. It's like the UD is shaped to look like something else instead of its original yellowish desert form. So it's like an illusion, a snapshot of Hawkins.

I think there's two possible options here: One is that Will has illusion/creation powers and he unlocked his powers when he ended up in the UD because he was too scared and wanted to go to home and that's why the UD looks like Hawkins.

Second one is Vecna shaped the UD. I mean, there is literally only two people who were in the Upside Down at that time: Vecna and Will. So, if Will didn't shape it, then Vecna did.

Vecna's shaping it seems more plausable to me because we already know he has the ability to shape/create things and make illusions.

Will might have powers too maybe since he is paralleled to Henry/Vecna so much, and they are both described as artistic and like to draw. Maybe Will accidentally, without realizing, shaped the UD to look like Hawkins.

There's one thing that doesn't make sense to me about this. I don't think Will would have wanted to shape the UD to look like Hawkins on the same day he went missing. Like, why would he want to recreate his most traumatizing event in his life? Why not shape it to a better event/memory? Like the 5th of November for example, before he went missing?

Fair enough! I’m personally caught on whether it’s just a snapshot or if it’s actually time-related because the characters keep mentioning it being “frozen in time” and “stuck in time”, in s4, and I know that could also totally just be them misunderstanding what’s actually going on + that it is a snapshot, but considering all of the back to the future references surrounding Will and all of the other weird time stuff with eightfifteengate/bobs JVC camera (which is actually the same model of camera that’s used in “back to the future” to record doc’s experiment) etc, so I think that time weirdness is def still gonna be involved somehow!

And you bring up some interesting points about will vs vecna shaping it, and I wonder if Will maybe didn’t intentionally shape it but maybe more accidentally/subconsciously? And also it’s interesting that you mention him not wanting to shape it on the day he vanished, because I actually noticed that while some details of the UD in s4 align with being a snapshot of the day he vanished, when it comes to the upside down in S1 that Joyce and Hopper go into, there’s quite a few differences between the Byers house on the night will vanished and the magnets on the fridge etc vs the byers house in the upside down! It’s weird! Maybe he did shape it to another day and then vecna reshaped it? Lots to think about!

#stranger things #st asks

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clumsybookworm18 · 4 years

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Until Dawn Fic Recs

This was supposed to be a simple fic rec list for @gloriousdarkangelsworld who just got into the UD fandom (welcome! :D) but I got carried away and it turned out to be longer than I expected. I figured I should share these with everyone? In case some of you are looking for something to read while you’re stuck at home or just want to escape the global crisis for a while. To the surprise of no one, these are mostly Josh/Sam because I am complete and utter trash for them.

phantom limbs by a troublesomegoose

This is a hauntingly beautiful one-shot centered around Sam and Josh’s relationship. I made a post recommending this fic a couple of days ago but I have to rec it again because it’s so good.

The (Almost)s by @queenofbaws

I love this fic. I love it, I love it, I love it. It’s a character study of Josh, Chris, Ashley and Sam, spanning from the night the twins went missing, to the aftermath a year later. I sound like a broken record by now but if you’re an Until Dawn fan and haven’t read this then you’re seriously missing out. It’s so well written, the characterization is perfect, the dialogue is fantastic! It’s one of my favorite fics out there and much better than books I have actually paid for. I strongly recommend checking out Queenie’s blog and ao3 page for more Until Dawn stories! She has an awesome ghost hunting AU and a bunch of cute Chris/Ashley and Sam/Josh fics 💕

Sunset by DeiliaMedlini

These are a bunch of one-shots centered around the Until Dawn kids that take place before, during and after the game. Some are angsty. Some are cute. All of them good!

like thoughts inside a dream by @thychesters

A charming Josh-centric character study with some of that good ol’ Josh/Sam pining. I love the author’s quirky writing and the banter between Josh and the other kids. She also has a collection of Josh/Sam one-shots worth reading!

Aubade by @notaliteraltoad

A fix-it fic where Sam goes back to Blackwood to rescue wendigo Josh. This one is equipped with an awesome playlist and some very cool action scenes!

Unreliable narrator by @smartalker

Another one-shot centered around Josh and Sam before, during and after the game. I loved the movie talk in this one!

and i tried to hold these secrets inside me by @veryspookybisexual

How can I make a UD fic rec and not include this wonderful story! One of the OG fix-it fics where Sam never made it out of the mines and is stuck with a wendigo Josh. This is the first story I read for this fandom and I still find myself visiting it once in a while. If you read it, you’ll know why. The author also wrote a Sam/Josh neighbors/soulmate AU that is just beautiful! I highly recommend checking that as well!

the balance book by @coldmackerel

A post-game fic where everybody survives that revolves around Josh making up for the shit he pulled while keeping a totally manly diary. Listen, if you love Josh Washington this is a must read.

I Trust You by @slightlyrabid

Another brilliant Wendigo Josh fix-it fic that will keep you on the edge of your seat! If you liked all of the Wendigo lore of the game, you’ll love this fic. Plus it has a badass Sam!

Wise man say only fools rush in by talverrar

Josh/Sam fake dating AU with mutual pining. Need I say more?

Twist Of Fate by @mogitz & @enulaz

Ten years after the events of the game, Sam has become a successful psychologist. One day she gets a new client who looks exactly like Josh. The problem: his name is Elliot, and Josh died 10 years ago… or did he? Sort of a crossover with Mr. Robot but not really.

I Know Why the Caged Birds Sing by @hanna-notmontana

This is, you guessed it, another fix-it fic! Wendigo Josh is taken to the hospital and the doctors don’t know what to do with him. Chris and Sam take matters into their own hands. I love how the author wrote the friendship between Sam, Chris and Josh and it was so fun to read about Josh going from wendigo to human again!

Connection

A different take on the Bathtub Scene™ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Deserve by ScribeofRhapsody

A fun little series of what would’ve happened if Josh turned out to be the hero of the night. Featuring Dr. Hill beating everyone at board games and Chris & Mike & Josh being bros.

saved_data.txt by @wells-jaha

A Sam/Josh emotional roller coaster. What makes this fic so brilliant is that it’s completely written in the form of text messages. I know you’re probably wondering ‘is it even possible to cry over two people texting’? The answer is yes. Yes it is.

you’re gonna go far, kid by @sammygiddings

An AU where Mike and Josh are roommates that butt heads a LOT with some great Mike/Jess and Josh/Sam.

I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I did and to all of the authors: THANK YOU for creating, writing and sharing these wonderful stories! They mean a lot ♥️

I feel like I left out a bunch of great fics so I’ll probably have to do a part 2 BUT if there are any other fics you guys think should be on this list, feel free to share them!

#until dawn #josh washington #sam giddings #chris hartley #ashley brown #Mike Munroe #jossam #chrashley #fic recs #until dawn fanfiction #guess what i did instead of working on my own story #oh god now i wanna go and reread a lot of these #but i still have a lot of fics in my tbr so i shouldn't XD #there are still a lot of fics i didn't mention so don't be surprised if i make another list

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love-fireflysong · 4 years

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Until Dawn’s Fifth Birthday

Welp, congrats Until Dawn, you’re officially old enough to start kindergarten. You’re off to learn to read, tie your shoes, recite yous ABC’s, and learn to count to 100. Your such a big kid now, and I’m proud of you for making it this far.

I know I have done literal jack shit for the entire month, but I have been immensely enjoying the things that everyone’s been putting out for this month. So I’m gonna make this text post, not just because of it’s the five year anniversary, but because it’s actually a post I’ve been wanting to make for a while.

So here it goes:

I first learned of Until Dawn when it first came out hilariously enough. My roommate at the time had boughten it for her ps4 and I had been seeing it all over my dashboard on tumblr at the time. I didn’t play it myself though until close to a year later, when I finally had my own ps4 and I bought the game used for like $20 or something from my local game rental store. And I was hooked.

I remember jumping the first time the UD logo pulls that jump scare on the title screen. And laughing because I’m normally pretty good with jump scares, but that one managed to get me because I hadn’t been expecting one before I even started the game. (The one thing in the game that manages to make me jump every time is the mine cart you stop as Mike. For whatever reason it doesn’t matter how dark my room is when I play the game or how many times I’ve played it, I can never see the mine cart until its literally on top of Mike and the QTE is almost up and I squeak in surprise every fucking time.)

Of course I didn’t manage to save everyone during my first playthrough, I definitely lost Matt to the hook and Ash to the trapdoor (RIP darlings), and for the life of me I can’t recall how the lodge scene at the end went. I’m one of those players though that try to make choices that the characters I’m playing as would, I throw my feelings by the wayside. For example, being in the shed when the game’s making me choose Ash or Josh, and I was debating on whether or not Chris would save the girl he’s had a major crush on for a while at least, or his best friend for the last ten years. I distinctly remember wincing and sucking in air through my teeth and going “Sorry Ash, bros before hoes” and choosing Josh. And then being confused and convinced that I misunderstood the instructions? I mean I wasn’t complaining, just really, really confused. I definitely choose Ash to live at the gun one though, like there was no hesitation. I watched the whole ‘only thing I’ve ever wanted to do with my time’ scene and talk and the moment control was given back to me, the gun was under Chris’s jaw and I fired.

I’m also one of the players that didn’t know that Josh had been behind everything until the reveal either. I had gotten Sam captured so I never got any of those clues and I managed to miss the other clues that hinted at it being a set up (like the bundle of newspapers). So until the reveal I was still convinced that someone was out there killing all of them. Listen, I like mystery games but I’m not very good at connecting the dots okay.

I think I stuck around for a couple of months, gorging myself of fanfiction (all ff.net stuff by the way, I can’t remember if I knew about ao3 at that point or not) but like all interests do with me, the obsession eventually faded (helped in a large part by the rampant Ashley hate going around at the time) and I moved on.

Until February of this year. I was trying to kill time till the end of March when Persona 5: Royal released and I decided to try and see how many games I could platinum until that point. I had made it through the ps3 tomb raider games, Prince of Persia 2008, and decided on replaying the Uncharted games because the ps4 collection didn’t have multiplayer trophies. I hadn’t even thought of replaying Until Dawn. I mean, I had looked at the case and I remembered the game fondly, but that was it. There was no urge or want.

I was halfway through Among Thieves when I was bored and chilling time on Youtube. And because I had been watching a couple of videos for the treasure locations in Uncharted, one of the recommended videos for me was a game sins for the series. I decided sure why not, and watched it. And watched a few of his other ones as well, Until Dawn included.

That’s right, what got me back into the series wasn’t fond nostalgia for the characters or story. It was a fucking Game Sins video. I’m so sorry.

I was devouring UD content again. I spent like 2 or 3 weeks reading everything Chrashley (with the hyper-fixation for the game back came the ship, what can I say) based on ao3 that I could get my hands on. I was back into the tag on tumblr, going through art I remembered seeing way back when and looking at usernames that didn’t mean a thing then, but mean the world to me now. And then near the end of February, when the obsession was once again starting to flag, I decided to hell with it, and clicked on the The (Almost)s.

I’m not going to expunge all my praises for the story, everyone else has done that better then I ever could. But guys, it was so good. So so good. I was hooked back into the series once again, just as I was starting to flag. And when I saw that @queenofbaws had mentioned that she was tumblr... I didn’t do anything right away. Too scared really, figured she might find it creepy, so I didn’t do anything for like a week. And then I decided fuck it, sent a message about Chris giving Ash his sweater, and following her.

And that was it. I figured I would stick around to see the story completed and just dip. Not even make a splash, just enjoy the content from the sidelines and no one would know that I was here in the first place. Same old, same old. But that was also when I started turning around the kernel in my mind that Baby It’s Cold Outside (so hold me tight in your arms and don’t let go). I didn’t even intend to write it, it was just going to be the fanfic that lived in my mind for me to stew on before bed every night. But I couldn’t sleep one night, my brain was too on and the words just weren’t stopping, so I pulled out my computer and wrote the first part from Chris standing in the snow outside to him reaching the lodge at like 3 in the morning.

I started becoming more involved in the fandom when queenie started her wip wednesdays and asked to be tagged. Hilariously enough, those days are what started me cross-stitching again too, I hadn’t touched the pattern in months at that point. So I started posting snippets of my writing, and that one day a week was the only thing pushing me to continue writing. By that point, I had stopped hanging around the edges, now trying to push myself closer into this little fandom circle.

The day I posted the story, I was fucking terrified. It wasn’t my first story, not by a long shot, but I had always considered my writing to be shit. I thought I had good ideas, but I never felt that I was able to truly bring them to life. English and grammar had never been my best subject, I was always more of a math and physics person growing up. But then that first comment from @elliepollie came in and I almost burst into tears. I couldn’t believe that someone out there liked it so much, that they were willing to leave me a review in the first place. I’m still so blown away that she was willing to recommend it as a Chrashley story for other people to read. I think that was the point I stopped hesitantly pushing my way through, and I just kicked down the doors and just yelled ‘Hey fuckers! I’m here now and you are going to fucking deal with it!’.

That was the event that opened the floodgates for me. Suddenly I was talking to people, I had friends online with the same interests as me. I’ve written more in the last six months then I’ve done in the last ten years! I’m feeling inspired to create again. I actually went out to do the first commission I’ve ever requested (speaking of which, please please please go commisson @fudgeroach. I cannot wait until he can post and show you guys the stuff he drew for me. It was worth every fucking penny let me tell you.)

I’m going to be honest, Until Dawn isn’t my favourite game. Sure it has some of my fav lines (it had been years since I played the game, and the moment Jess started her rant outside the guest cabin I was screaming it along with her) and great characters, as horrible people as they all are, but it’s never been my favourite game and likely never will be. But Until Dawn has the best fandom I’ve ever been in and I’m so, so happy to have met and known every single person here. I seriously love every single person here so, so much. You all make my life better and I’m so happy to have all of you in it. Just to quote Chris because I can: “Every second I spend with you is all I ever wanted to do with my time.” This is how I feel. This is how I feel every goddamn day now.

So yeah, I got back into this fandom from a stupid Game Sins video. But by god if it wasn’t the best choice I’ve ever made.

(PS: for those wondering, I never did finish Uncharted 2. Maybe one day...)

#until dawn #udanniversary #<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

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lilacmoon83 · 3 years

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Lightning in a Bottle

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 23: Whatever it Takes, Pt 1

David entered the kitchen that morning, after he finished getting ready for work, only to see his wife at the stove.

"Wow...omelets on a weekday?" he asked, as he put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Well...you have a busy day ahead being a sleuthing accountant. You need your energy...especially after last night," she purred.

"Yeah...it was pretty amazing," he agreed, as she put the eggs on five plates and then turned around in his arms, so they could kiss properly. They slowly swayed together and then pressed their foreheads together once their lips parted.

"Besides...you don't know how much it means to me that I have my husband and my son back and how much I love taking care of my family," she said, as he kissed her again.

"I know...and I promise we're not going anywhere ever again, my love," he promised, as Emma and the kids came into the kitchen.

"It's way too early for romance, you two," she grumbled, as she went for the coffee.

"You just hate mornings," Margaret mentioned, as she delivered the plates to everyone at the table.

"Ohh omelets...you're forgiven," Emma said, as she started eating with the kids, while David and Margaret sat down with them.

"So...how was date night?" she asked.

"Wonderful...but it was sort of a working date night," David replied.

"What does that mean?" Emma asked.

"Well...when I was digging at my new job, I learned that Unified Dynamic Systems is one of the clients at JP Williamson. UDS is funding something known as the Singularity Project, which is the research of this woman," David replied, as he showed her an image on his tablet.

"A passenger?" Emma asked.

"Yes...one that was studying something called mirror neurons. It's a fringe study that believes there are ways for human brains to link up collectively," Margaret explained.

"Uh...that sounds familiar," Emma said.

"We thought so too...so we cornered her after her symposium and questioned her about the missing passengers. But I don't think she knows anything about that," David replied.

"And you believe her?" Emma asked skeptically. He shrugged.

"She agreed to try to find out more information about her funding source, especially since it looks like they may be using her research to experiment on unwilling victims," David replied.

"I believed her too...trust me, she would be in bad shape if I thought she had anything to do with the plane's disappearance," Margaret assured. Emma snorted in amusement.

"Yeah...she'd be in a body cast right about now," she teased.

"Well…I'm protective of the people I love," Margaret said, as she kissed her husband, before gathering their plates.

"What about you? I heard you made a big arrest. It's all over the news," David mentioned.

"Uh yeah...we got that guy that killed the brother of the owner of Darkstar Pharmacy," Emma replied.

"Good...that was so sad and a little too close to home," Margaret mentioned quietly. It was not lost on any of them that Ruth had been killed in a similar type situation.

"Yeah...something else happened too. It was a Calling," she mentioned. Margaret turned off the water and sat back down with them.

"You didn't tell us that part," she said.

"It just happened," she pointed out.

"Anyway...when I was around the store owner, I kept hearing this heartbeat. Long story short...I found out that Tom Clark had a heart transplant almost six years ago…" Emma said, as she looked them in the eyes.

"It was Lily's," she said, causing Margaret to gasp and David looked at his son.

"Hey buddy...where's that drawing you were working on?" David asked. Henry dug through his backpack and produced the illustration of a man with a heart on his chest.

"That...looks like Tom Clark," Emma replied.

"And you helped catch his brother's killer," Margaret said in amazement.

"That's not all I helped him with. He was going to take justice into his own hands...but I convinced him not to, identify the killer, and let the justice system take over," Emma replied, as Margaret squeezed her hand.

"Then that's more confirmation that these Callings are doing something good," she said.

"I don't know MM…" Emma replied.

"I mean...even if they are good…" she said.

"I mean...what is this?" she added in frustration.

"I don't know...but we will figure this out. All of it," David assured them both. With that, they quickly cleaned up and started the day.

~*~

Emma arrived at the station and sat down at her desk, only to look up and see Killian standing there with a bakery sack in his hand.

"Picked up an extra bear claw," he mentioned.

"Uh...thanks," she replied, as she accepted the bag and he leaned against her desk.

"So...how's Henry?" he asked.

"He seems to be fine for the moment. We're keeping a close eye on him," she replied.

"But you don't think this is over?" he asked.

"Do you?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Honestly Emma...I have no idea. I mean...it's pretty out there," he mentioned.

"Yeah...that's what I thought too at first. But then it happens to you and it gets real, no matter how out there it seems," she said.

"I mean...last night, our victim's brother in this latest case just happened to be the recipient of Lily's heart? That's some out there stuff, but it happened," she reasoned. He sighed.

"Yeah...that was pretty wild," he agreed.

"Which means, whether I like it or not, these things that are happening to passengers are real and something," she said. He nodded.

"Fair enough...so what now?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I'm not sure...my brother is playing his own version of detective at his new job, so I guess we wait to see what he turns up and pray he's not discovered," he replied.

"Ah…I knew there had to be more to that. Your brother is way overqualified for a low level accounting clerk," he said.

"Yeah and from what I've heard his boss probably has an IQ that's half my brother's, so it shouldn't be too hard for David to find whatever he's looking for," she replied, as he sat down at his desk and they worked on the recent paperwork from the previous night's case.

~*~

After dropping Henry off with her father-in-law, Margaret arrived at her classroom that morning.

"Ms. Nolan?" a voice called, as a man peered into her classroom.

"Yes, can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm Sidney Glass...from the New York Times," he replied. She sighed.

"A reporter," she muttered.

"Yes...and I'm sure that doesn't make you feel comfortable at all," he said.

"You mean because a dozen other reporters at your paper have run hit pieces on me and my family for the last week?" she asked. He nodded.

"I understand that...but that is not my intention. No one has really told the story from your side," he replied.

"And why should I trust you?" Margaret replied, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You have no reason to...I get that. But this would be an opportunity to tell yours and your husband's story. I'd even let you read it before I publish," he offered.

"David and I don't care what people think of us...we never have," she said.

"Fair enough...but in case you change your mind, here is my card," Sidney said, as he set it on her desk and quietly left. She scoffed, as she looked at the card and then stuffed it in her purse, forgetting about it.

~*~

Upon arriving at work that morning, David sailed through the stack of work left for him on his desk with ease. This job was not challenging at all, but then that wasn't really the reason he was there. He took the stack and walked into his boss' office and he wasn't sure what Doc was doing on his computer, but he doubted it was work.

"Oh hey...828," he greeted, as David put the stack on his desk.

"Done already?" he asked and David shrugged.

"What can I say? Numbers are my thing," David replied, as another man stuck his head inside the door.

"Hey...are we still on for the game tonight?" he asked.

"Of course...hey Billy, this is David. You know, the guy from that plane," Doc said, as David shook hands with the tall African American man.

"Nice to meet you...man, what a story," he said.

"Yeah…I get that a lot," David replied.

"This is Billy from IT," Doc said.

"Nice to meet you," David replied.

"Hey numbers guy...do you play poker?" Doc asked.

"Yeah...we could use one more tonight," Billy agreed. While he loathed the thought of not going home to his family the moment the day was over, he knew how valuable it could be to persuade an IT guy to unknowingly let him in the backdoor and straight to the files on the Singularity Project.

"Sounds great," David agreed.

"Great," Doc said, as he patted him on the shoulder.

"Until then...maybe you can help me out with these, but don't tell anyone," Doc said, as he gave him another stack and his own badge since these had a higher clearance. David smirked.

"Don't worry...I'll get these done and you can have all the credit," he replied, as he returned to his desk. He didn't know what else he could find, if anything, but he knew that accessing the backdoor through the IT guy might yield even more results.

~*~

Mr. Gold entered Vance's office, only to interrupt him with another man, whom Gold recognized as one of his senior agents.

"Mr. Gold...please join us," Vance said.

"This is Special Agent Arthur King. He was just delivering some very interesting Intel," Vance said. Mr. Gold ignored the agent, but nodded curtly to Vance.

"You mean the Intel where David Nolan has just been hired on at an accounting firm for a job that he is ridiculously overqualified for?" Gold asked.

"How do you know that?" Agent King asked suspiciously.

"I have my ways, Agent King...but I do not think Mr. Nolan has ill intentions," Gold replied.

"More hero talk?" Vance questioned.

"He seems to be taking that role...yes and he may be the keystone to breaking all of this wide open," Gold replied.

"Or he could be committing corporate espionage," Arthur countered.

"David Nolan is not our enemy. In fact...I believe our enemy is within," Gold said.

"Are you accusing a government agency of being behind the disappearance of this plane?" King questioned with an edge in his voice. Gold smirked.

"Oh no, Agent King...but I am pointing out that there are those within that may not have the passenger's best interests at heart," he added.

"These people may be a threat to National Security," Arthur pointed out.

"They don't know what happened to them, Agent King. They are in the dark as much as we are. Locking them up will yield no answers," Gold warned.

"This guy is a crackpot," Arthur hissed to his boss.

"Mr. Gold's insight is valuable...but we will monitor Mr. Nolan's activities. Bug his phone," Vance ordered. Arthur seemed appeased by that and quickly left.

"He's a hothead...and not in a good way," Gold mentioned.

"He's a good agent," Vance countered.

"If Nolan does commit espionage...I can't ignore it," Vance warned.

"Perhaps not...but arresting him will get you nothing. In fact, it may cost lives if you do," Gold warned in return. Vance was silent at that, contemplating his words.

~*~

"It's okay, baby...this sounds like an opportunity you can't pass up," Margaret said, as she put the groceries away while talking to him on speaker phone.

"I know...I just hate getting home late. But if I can get a way into this account through the backdoor, I might be able to get a location or something," David said.

"I hate it too...but I know you're doing this for Henry. I'll feed the kids and wait to eat with you," she said.

"Thanks...but you don't have to do that," he replied.

"I know...but I want to," she said.

"Then I can't wait. I'll see you soon and I love you," he replied. She smiled.

"I love you too," she gushed, as they hung up and she saw their son come into the house with her father-in-law.

"Hey sweetie...did you have a good day with Grandpa?" she asked.

"Yeah...we had lots of fun," Henry replied, as she hugged him and she and Robert shared a smile.

"But I was wondering…" Henry said.

"Wondering what?" she asked.

"When can I go back to school?" he asked.

"Oh...well, we want to make sure you're out of the woods from that most recent scare, honey," she replied.

"I know...but I feel fine now and Dad is trying to find out where those missing passengers are, right?" Henry asked. She smiled.

"He is...and we can talk about school more later, I promise," she replied, as he went upstairs.

"I know David is doing what he needs to...but corporate espionage is no joke if he gets caught," Robert said in a worried tone.

"I know...I'm worried too, but David thinks this might be the only way to save Henry and those missing passengers," Margaret replied. He nodded.

"And there will be no stopping him," Robert said. She smiled softly.

"You know David...always the hero," she said fondly.

"That's our David," he agreed.

"Do you want to stay for dinner and eat with the kids?" she asked. He smiled.

"You know I'd love that," he replied.

~*~

David entered the conference room, which had been turned into an after hours poker game. He was not looking forward to this at all, but he put a smile on and was introduced to the other players that he had not met yet.

"So 828...were the aliens at least hot?" one guy asked and the others busted up laughing. David forced a chuckle and shook his head.

"No...but then there's only one woman for me and she's right here on Earth," he replied.

"Dude...your wife isn't here. You don't actually have to say that stuff," Doc said.

"I say it because it's true," David replied.

"Don't mind Doc...he can't get a woman to save his life," Billy joked, as he dealt the cards.

"Very funny," Doc said.

"So David...he tells me you're a numbers guy?" Billy asked.

"A Master's in mathematics. I did a bit of coding in college, but ultimately decided to teach instead," David replied.

"So you know some coding?" Billy asked.

"It's been a long time...I probably need a refresher," David replied.

"I could help with that...if you're interested. Doc says that you're bored," Billy said.

"Actually yeah...that would be great," David replied.

"After you finish tomorrow's work load," Doc instructed, as they picked up their cards.

"So...that should be about nine in the morning," David said, as they all laughed. Getting in with the IT guy had been easier than he thought…

~*~

As Margaret waited for David to get home, the kids watched a movie and she found herself walking down memory lane in the form of one of her many photo albums. She flipped the page and smiled at the photo of them on their wedding day. She remembered that day so well, for it had been one of the happiest days of her life.

~*~

Flashback

"Wow...you look like a fairytale Princess for sure," her friend and one of her bridesmaid's, Ruby, said.

"Well…I'm marrying my Prince Charming so I should," Margaret replied, as Abigail adjusted her veil.

"Are you ready?" Emma asked, as she stepped forward. Her future sister-in-law and best friend was her maid of honor, of course. Margaret smiled.

"I've wanted to marry David since we were eight. I can't wait…" she replied. Emma smiled.

"Neither can he. He's been telling everyone he was going to marry you since then too, so let's finally make it official already," Emma said, as Robert poked his head in.

"Ready?" he asked. Emma nodded, as he came into the room.

"You look beautiful, Margaret and I already considered you my daughter," he said, making her smile.

"I know that I was a terrible father to my kids and you were what helped them both get through some very rough times. I can never repay you for that and when you asked me to walk you down the aisle, I was blown away," he admitted.

"You made mistakes and struggled with your own demons, but you got better and we forgive you. Even at your worst, you were more of a father to me than my own ever was," she said, as he offered his arm and she hooked her hand on his elbow.

By then, the music had intensified. Her bridesmaid's and Emma were already at the altar and everyone stood, as they exited the small garden house and outside into the beautiful garden where they had chosen to have their wedding. It was near the wooded area and the bridge they had frequented for years. They had played in this garden and park for years, so getting married here seemed perfect.

David was in awe, as she floated toward him like an angel, carrying a bouquet of snowdrops, much like the ones he had picked for her when they were children. Even then, the idea of marrying her was firm in his young mind and now that the moment was finally here, he knew that his life was complete with her by his side. The ceremony was a mere formality, for they had bonded their lives together long ago…

~*~

"That was an amazing day," he mentioned and she looked up, finding him leaning over her.

"You're home...I was so absorbed by the memory of this day that I didn't hear you come in," she mentioned, as he kissed her tenderly.

"It was one of the best days of my life," he said, as he squeezed into the chair with her.

"Mine too," she agreed, as they shared another kiss.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

"Not yet...but the IT guy promised to show me some coding. If I can manage to get in the backdoor to the account of the Singularity Project, I'm hoping I can find something like a location or more names," he replied. She smiled and kissed him again.

"I know you will...you're our hero, after all," she said, as she rested her head on his shoulder and they gazed upon their kids fondly.

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming family #AU #Emma #Henry #Regina #Manifest #with a Once twist #romance #family #drama #angst #adventure #Lightning in a Bottle

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lifeisaboxofcereal · 7 years

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No clue who this is addressed to, nor what the purpose of this is/will be, but feeling exasperated that nothing helps me feel better, how about I give venting via writing a shot.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been involved with this guy for about 5+ years. Lets call him owl. Its the first thing I looked at in my apartment trying to come up with a code name instead of publishing this guys name who any of you reading most likely already know his name via any of my fb posts in the last 5 years. I met him my freshman year at UD. Ballroom dance team. To this day I dont even know if I can explain what drew me to him. He was cocky and confident, cheeky, and cute. He danced. He was a Marine. He seemed so out of my league as a dorky, naive, super awkward freshman that didn’t know anything about college culture. I learned quick that a few dates does not mean we’re dating, and that he was a man of many many ladies. I learned quick that he did not really take my feelings into consideration but I would put them aside and accept any interactions or affections that were given. We had a connection and I had fun with him. I just wanted to go with it.

I went with it for all four years of college. Always waiting for when he’d finally be ready to commit. Or see how much I do for him. How I’m always there, good times and bad. Even when he really really pisses me off. Waiting for him to see that I was his best friend the way I saw that he was mine. Waiting for him to stop messing up with me, appreciate me, cherish me, want to show me off.

I’m gonna be honest, that never came. Not in college. I didnt date anyone else. I didnt get involved with anyone else more than a few months, and those involvements were usually the product of me and owl being in one of our phases where we were on the outs and he was not talking to me. but once we were good again sure enough I’d lose interest in whoever it was that I was entertaining in that time. I regret a lot of that. Not giving others real chances, because they actually deserved them and wanted them.

But with him it was always like a game, like a chase, never ending, suspenseful, thrilling, exciting, passionate, never a boring moment. Always keeping me guessing. I hated it but I loved it. He didn’t respect me, and he didnt respect my feelings, but still I stuck around. It’s only now that I’m seeing that I had slowly been losing respect for myself, so what incentive would he have for respecting me when I was being a hypocrite? Our dynamic was one of push and pull. There were the times he’d pull me in and never want to let me go, and then without warning he would push me away and leave me feeling abandoned and confused as to what I did to deserve it.

He hurt me a lot. Never physically. Never. Never forced himself on me, I never once was physically scared of him. But emotionally. Every year there was at least one incident. One big fight that seemed like the be all end all. That would leave me in my dorm crying with my roommate wondering how he could be so cold and harsh towards me after everything I’ve done and everything we’ve shared. Always wishing that he would miss me and realize everything and change. It was a clear cycle, and I’m not stupid, I was very cognizant of it, but idk, i liked it and i was still waiting. What I had with him was so different and special I couldnt let it, or him, go.

Last year, October, we had a big falling out. That was really the be all end all. I knew because, and as stupid as this is or sounds, in all of our fights we had never unfriended each other on facebook or done something as extreme or defining as that. We always left doors open. But with this, he burned all bridges. He made a facebook status about me. He wanted all of my things out of his place. He 100% snapped. It was over, he broke things off and our 4 years of being together but not really together, was over.

I spent the next 5 months in therapy and trying to keep busy with friends and classes and trying to find myself again. So much of my identity was dependent on him and associated with him. All of my memories included him. Even dance reminded me of him. I was so lost. And missed him so much but had motivation to work on myself and for once be comfortable and happy with being on my own. I remember one particular session with my therapist in which she told me that if I still have hope that we will reconcile one day, I need to completely let go of what we had. Put it to rest, let it go, mourn it, and leave it in the past, because there was too much to be fixed and too much wreckage to salvage anything. That if we were to ever reconcile it would have to be a completely clean slate. Free of the past transgressions. So that night I blocked him. I blocked his number, his facebook. his snapchat, everything. It was hard and scary but I did it in hopes that thats what I needed to do even if temporarily and symbolically leave our 4 years together in the past.

2 days later was Valentines day. I was supposed to go to a devils game with a friend and she cancelled last minute because she was sick. I reached out to everyone in my phone to try to find someone to go with me because I did not want to spend valentines day in bed thinking about him and missing him. Nobody could come to the game. I was offered a shift at work and almost took it but someone hopped on it before I could. So i was left with chinese food and netflix. I let myself cry and be upset, and feel the hurt remembering our past valentines days together. And then my mom came to my room and let me know that jake was coming to the house. shit i said his name. whatever. she let me know that he asked permission to come and clear the air, and that he would be there in 40 minutes.

He was there in 30, and we sat down, with my best friend as a third party, and we talked for 5 hours. About everything. Anything. All the grievances we had with each other. What we realized. What we regretted. And he told me that he loved me. That he needs me in his life, and said all of the things that I had waited 4 years for. I kept thinking about how right my therapist was, about letting go and letting them come to you, about starting fresh, about leaving the past in the past.

The months that followed were the epitome of a honeymoon phase. My god. we were finally doing things right. He was showing me off, appreciating me, never wanted to let me go, it was everything. I dont think I’ve ever been so happy. We were so in love with each other, so excited, couldn’t wait more than 2 weeks to visit each other again. We moved in together. We made an apartment a home together. We started new jobs and set goals. We motivated each other, supported each other, and wholeheartedly loved each other. I finally felt like I was in a functional and healthy relationship. I felt so loved every single day and I finally understood what people meant about that unbelievable feeling of being in love with someone who was just as in love with you. We did and learned so much together. We had setbacks, and tiffs here and there, but we worked through each one.

Theres a lot in between then and now, but I don’t think it’s worth getting into or explaining. All I can say is that I don’t know how we went from that, to this. Not speaking. Not looking at each other. An apartment that was once so full of love and laughter now only has silence and tension.

He has problems. And to be honest. I’ve always known that but never wanted to accept it. I have problems too because I am very compliant. The relationship became emotionally abusive. I am mentally abused. And he has left me hating myself when I dont even know who I am. I don’t regret staying with him. I don’t regret getting back with him last year. I dont regret anything. All i’ve done is love and give as much as I possibly can. Im not angry. More than anything, i’m disappointed.

I thought he was it. Actually. I know he is. If he were to get the help that he needed. But in a normal relationship, when there is an issue, you don’t feel that your partner becomes a completely different person. That’s not normal. And right now, I don’t know who he is. For the past 2 weeks I have been wishing I could just snap him out of it. Grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Show him a photo of us and see him come back to me. I have written heartfelt letter after heartfelt letter. Debating giving one to him in hopes of softening him up and coming out of this haze of anger and hatred hes in right now. But thats not normal. I shouldnt have to snap him out of anything. I shouldnt have to wish he’d come back. I shouldnt have to plead and beg for him to remember our good times to soften up. None of it is normal. He dissociates. And when i look at his eyes hes not there. I know this sounds dramatic but it’s true. It’s scary, it’s hurtful, it worries me, but it’s true. He completely detaches, and it’s as though he never knew me. As though we never shared a single experience together. And nothing I do can bring him out of that place. As I write this, I feel like I’m writing or remembering someone that died. And thats because essentially, that is how I feel. the man i spent the past year with loving and learning and GROWING died. He’s gone and I dont know why or where he is. And i’m left with this fraction of myself that doesn’t know how to cope with any of it.

He’s not good for me. Its not worth it. I deserve better. I’m going to be so much happier without him. These are all words that an infinite number of friends or loved ones can say to me but the fucked up part of all of it is that I don’t want better, I want him. I know that I will never be able to fully let him go. It’ll never be fully over. And i will always love him. I care about him more than I care about myself. Which is a big part of the problem.

I don’t know where to go from here. Or how to cope. I don’t know what to do. All i know is that I miss him with every fiber of my being. I can’t open my phone gallery because the last photos I took were with him and I can’t look at them. I made a new facebook to run away from it all. Nothing I do makes me feel better. Friends. Work. Gym. Margaritas. Movies. Its all a distraction from missing the person who made me smile ear to ear every morning, and exhale peacefully every night. Even now as I write this, hes walking around the apartment and its as though Im a ghost. He doesnt see me. Acknowledge me. Notice me. And while I used to see him and feel overwhelming love, I now just feel hated. Complete hatred. As though I ruined his life, when all I ever tried to do was make his life better.

So friends, that is my story. I don’t know how it’ll end but I can tell you for sure that I will never be able to hate him or be angry with him. And I will always love him. What comes next for me, I have no idea. I thought writing all of this out would maybe help me have some sort of epiphany but no epiphany came.Sometimes I wish I could have my mind wiped clean of all of this so I wouldnt have to deal with this pain. But I cant. So this is going to suck. For a long while. I’m going to be upset for a long while. I hope at the end of this I can find myself and be a version of myself that has value and pride. I want to be the Bren that loves herself, respects herself, values herself, and is proud of herself. The bren that marched on washington for womens rights in the world needs to march for her rights in her life. More than anything though, I hope he finds himself. I hope he does what he needs to do. I only ever wanted him to be happy. Even if it was at my expense.

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clumsybookworm18 · 4 years

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Night Triumphant and the Stars Eternal | pt. 1

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Summary: As a High Lord’s daughter, Sam was always expected to have an arranged marriage. All her life she's been a dreamer locked in a golden cage, the important choices of her life snatched from her. Everything changes when the High Lord of the Night Court makes her an offer she can’t refuse.

AKA the self indulgent ACOTAR AU nobody asked for.

A/N: I'm a bit stuck on my ghost story atm and this little plot bunny has been bouncing in my head for a while so I couldn't resist writing it. So this is what happened when I decided to mix the UD kids with SJMass awesome universe! Honestly, I just wanted to see Sam as a fae princess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you haven't read the books it's fine, basically Prythian is a Fae Continent divided by 7 Courts: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, Dawn, Day and Night. Each court is ruled by a High Lord.

This is an utter nightmare.

The princess of the Dawn Court’s cheeks twitched from the carefully placed smile she’d been holding all night. It had only been a few hours since this thing started but it felt like an eternity of standing and mingling. Beside her, her cousin Mike was talking to one of the attendants, killer smile on his face and a goblet of wine in hand, undoubtedly halfway drunk. Meanwhile, Sam had already drained hers, looking to alleviate the dullness of the party- calm the anxious feeling of what this night meant for her future.

Mother above, she had met so many males tonight. High Lords, kings and princes from all over Prythian’s courts came bearing gifts and wealth. Sam couldn’t take it anymore. The way they were looking at her. Talking about her. She might as well have been a jewel inside a display glass, to be ogled and auctioned off.

Well, that’s what her father is doing anyways. Selling her off like a broodmare. All for some stupid negotiations for his court.

A male with eager eyes and a conceited smile approached them, and asked her to dance. She was about to decline when Mike passed her hand over, distracted with the pretty female in front of him, no doubt his appointed conquest for the night. So much for helping her out tonight.

Sam’s smile faltered as she was guided to the ballroom floor. As expected, her presence on the dance floor served to attract only more suitors, which was the exact thing she had been trying to avoid. She mentally cursed Mike as she was whisked away to another male’s arms. Then another, and another, until she finally had had enough and deliberately misstepped, causing her current partner to step on her toes. Politely dismissing his horrified apologies, Sam excused herself from the dance floor, pretending to limp a little as she walked away.

When she was sure no one was watching her, Sam managed to slip off from the ballroom unnoticed, willing herself not to break into a sprint.

Arranged marriage.

She was still reeling from it all. The party, the introductions- it was all just a formality. Sam was sure the High Lord of the Dawn Court had already chosen the male she was to marry. Without even consulting it with her of course. She didn’t get a say in anything, not free to make her own choices. People always telling her what to do, where to go, how to dress. The most important decisions of her life were already decided for her. It came with her position. She was just a princess. Something to be seen, not heard.

Sam picked up her pace, the billowing skirt of her rose gold gown flowing behind her. Her footsteps echoed through the sunstone hallway as her feet guided her. She didn’t think about where she was going, allowing her instincts take over, steering her as if they were following a thread, a tug. Before she knew it, she was stepping into the upper east garden.

It was her favorite place in the palace. With a beautiful view that swept over the city down below to the beautiful countryside and luscious green forests surrounding it, giving her a taste of what went beyond the palace borders that she was rarely allowed to leave. The terrace was so high that sometimes she felt that if she stuck her hand out she could touch the enormous clouds that drifted in the sky. It was the only place open enough to give her a sense of freedom. No walls, no windows, no doors- just herself and nature.

Sam sat by the fountain in the center of the garden, letting out a sigh as she dipped a hand into the sparkling water. She knew this day would come. An arranged marriage was an unavoidable fate for a princess.

Her mother, coming from a similar position herself, had been preparing her for this since she was a child. Even though her parents were mates, they were still strangers when they wed. One day, while her father visited the Day Court, he saw her mother and the mating bond snapped into place. Her father had only taken one look at her, and instantly knew what she was. He’d asked the High Lord of Day for his daughter’s hand, and took her back to the Dawn Court and made her his bride.

Honestly, Sam didn’t understand how her parent's souls were bound, they were so… different. How the Cauldron blessed the union between her cold, cunning father and her kind mother often made her wonder what it had in store for her.

“Who knows,” her mother had teased earlier while they stood in her dressing room. “Maybe you’ll be as lucky as me and meet your mate tonight.” Sam had scoffed.

As if a mating bond would solve anything.

The princess looked up to the bright stars dotting the night sky. She has dreams. She wants to travel, explore, live. She wished to meet new people, make friends, fall in love, marry on her own terms.

She didn’t want to be bound by duty. Didn’t want to marry some stranger and just be a trophy wife whose only purpose was to look pretty and punch out heirs. Pursing her lips, Sam slapped her hand into the fountain, sending splashes of water flying off.

“Ridiculous,” she muttered. “All of it.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” said a deep voice behind her.

She stood abruptly, eyes widening at the sight before her.

Hugged by the shadows stood a male figure, casually leaning against one of the pillars. His dark hair gleamed under the moonlight, bringing out his golden skin and grey eyes. She had never met him before- had only caught a few brief glimpses of him when he had previously visited her court. But she knew exactly who he was.

Joshua Washington. High Lord of the Night Court. Ruler of the Court of Nightmares.

He crept closer, stepping into the soft glow of the terrace lights, his grey eyes twinkling with amusement as he regarded her. She didn’t miss the tendrils of darkness rippling from him, enveloping him. It was as if he was molded by the night itself. Death incarnate.

She’d heard so many things about his court. About his powers. About him. Whispers and tales of the horrible things they did to others. How he could get into peoples heads, invade their thoughts and shatter their minds without even lifting a finger.

Sam didn’t move from where she stood as he approached her, didn’t want to give him the idea that he intimidated her. She met his gaze as he came to stand in front of her, hands sliding into the pockets of his black tunic, the night seeming to press closer around him. She waited for the fear to hit her, for her instincts to yell at her to run. But she didn’t feel any of that.

“What’s the princess doing away from her party?” he purred, his velvety voice sending shivers down her body.

“Am I not allowed to have a moment to breathe?” she retorted, sounding slightly brittle. Her parents already controlled everything she did, she didn’t need a stranger doing the same. Not even if he was a High Lord.

He merely lifted a shoulder in a casual shrug- a beautiful, easy gesture. He didn’t step back.

Sam tried not to let it bother her. “Are you enjoying the party, my lord?”

“Not as much as everyone else I’m sure.” he said, laughing under his breath. “This type of events aren’t something I usually indulge in.”

“Why are you here, then?” she blurted out. Her mother would scold her if she knew how informal her daughter was being, specially with a High Lord of all people.

The Lord of Night didn’t seem to mind. Instead he smirked, his eyes traveling across her face and body, not unlike a predator sizing up his prey. “I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” he said stepping closer, the thread of gold embroidered in the edges of his tunic glittering in a way that made her think of twinkling stars. He gave no warning as he lifted his hand, gently taking her chin in it. “I see the rumors weren’t exaggerating. You’re exquisite.”

The princess’s face yielded nothing but knew the flush that crept to her cheeks betrayed her. She moved her face away and retreated a step, bothered by the gesture- the intimacy of it. At the way it stirred up something inside her, awoke her. His touch calling out a primal side of her she didn’t even know that was there to begin with.

A beautiful smile curved his lips and- Cauldron boil her, she had never seen anyone so handsome. Never had so many warning bells going off in her head because of it.

She pushed the thought away, reminding herself who and what stood in front of her and straightened her back. Her mouth curved into a bitter smile. “A real prize too, you know, being the daughter of a High Lord. A fine bride for any lord to marry.”

He gave her a sly smile in return. “That’s not what I meant."

“Then why did you follow me out here?” A wild guess, but Sam was fairly certain that nobody had been in the terrace the moment she stepped foot in it.

“So many questions for a princess,” he teased, not denying her statement. Sam frowned but kept staring at him, waiting for his answer. Joshua smirked, his eyes gleaming in a manner that suggested she wasn’t going to like his answer. “Isn’t it obvious?”

She couldn’t help the bitterness that coiled in her stomach. Of course. For what other purpose would he be here? He hadn’t given her any indication to think he was different from every other male that had come to this wretched ball. They were all just the same, self absorbed, pompous tools-

“Spare me the accusatory glare, I am not here for your father’s pissing contest,” he drawled, adjusting the cuffs of his black tunic. Then laughed under his breath. “As much as he’d appreciate that I’m sure.”

The princess crossed her arms over the bodice of her gown, growing tired of his games. “Then why come at all?”

“I’m here to offer you a deal.”

“You want to bargain?”

He slid his hands into his pockets and started circling her. The tendrils of smoky night that rippled from him following in his wake. “I can get you out of here. Help you escape an arranged marriage we both know you don’t want.”

Wariness instantly flooded through her. She may not get out much but she wasn’t a fool to think these types of offers didn’t come with a price. Growing around the ruthless faeries that lived in her court had taught her that much. “And what would your help cost me?”

He stopped his circling, those lethal eyes pinning her where she stood. “Your freedom in exchange for you. I want you to come live with me at the Night Court.”

Sam’s blood chilled, her thoughts racing to all the terrible things she’d heard about that place. The atrocities she’d read about it in history books.

He wanted to take her to the Night Court. To his Court of Nightmares. A place full of depravity and torture and death.

“Why?” she asked, trying to keep her tone cool and collected. A futile effort, as she knew he could hear the wild pounding of her heart. “What could you possibly want from me?”

Joshua clicked his tongue. “If I told you those things, there’d be no fun in it, now would it?” he crooned, mischief twinkling in his grey eyes.

Sam wasn’t sure she wanted to know what constituted as fun for him.

“You would risk going to war with my father?” As far as she knew, the Dawn Court had always been on neutral terms with the Night Court. Their alliance may not be as strong as it was with their neighbors of the Day Court but seeing as it was one the Solar Courts, it was friendly enough. Any bargain she made with him would ensure that neutrality to be lost.

His face was a mask of boredom as he gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “Leave the Lord of Dawn to me,” he said in a nonchalant manner that didn’t answered any of her questions nor calm her nerves. “Honestly, I don’t know why you’re being such a worrywart. He clearly doesn’t care enough about you if he selling you off like a broodmare.”

Sam stiffened- the bluntness of his words might as well have been a slap in the face. It was one thing if she acknowledged it herself but hearing it from someone else… Even if it was true, it still stung.

She gave him a hard look. “No.”

“No?” he echoed, the air around him darkening. “Really?”

The princess only lifted her chin, her stubborn nature not allowing her to break his stare.

“You would refuse my offer- probably your only shot at freedom, and for what? To stay here? Because you don’t want to live at the nefarious Night Court?” A cold smile. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Samantha, but after tonight you’re still going to be sent off to another court. So the way I see it you have two options.” He raised a dark brow, staring hard at her. “The first and the smartest would be to accept my offer. The second would be for you to refuse and keep living bound to the choices of others.” When she didn’t answer, he went on, “It’s your choice.”

She bit her lip. He was right, her options were limited. Still, that didn’t take out the possibility that he could be trying to trick her, make her fall into a trap. She wouldn’t deny his offer sounded reasonable… tempting even. But he hadn’t given any motives for her to trust him. Not yet. “Why are you helping me?”

Joshua shrugged, his mouth curving into a wicked grin. “Who says I’m not helping myself?”

Sam studied his profile. Her gaze traveling to his straight nose, his scheming smile, the sharp angles of his jaw. Trying to understand what game he was playing. Decipher what lurked beneath that mischievous gaze.

He stalked closer, his face close enough now for her to notice the flecks of green in his eyes. She took a sharp breath as he brushed a blonde curl that had freed itself from her coiffed hair- at the feel of his fingers trailing down her cheek, her neck. A whisper of claws caressing her throat. She should probably comment on the boldness of his touch, for laying his hands on a princess like this but words failed her.

The High Lord stared at her for a moment, his face unreadable, before yielding a step. “I leave first thing tomorrow morning,” he said as his golden skin started to turn into living shadow. “You have until then to make your decision.”

And then he vanished.

***

The rest of the party went by in a flash. The ballroom a blur full of waltzing aristocrats, of wine and toasts made in her honor. Sam mingled, trying to blend in just so she could ignore the grey eyes that she knew were watching her every movement, burning through her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t avoid the swaggering bachelors from approaching her, saccharine smiles on their faces as they invited her over to the dance floor. But she managed to ward off some of them by keeping a dull, flat expression on her face.

Joshua, however, didn’t approach her once.

Right before midnight, her father had announced that she was to marry the High Lord of the Spring Court. Sam felt her breath get knocked out of her as the world slipped from under her feet. Her stomach tightening into painful knots at the crowd’s clapping.

No, no, no-

There were so many eyes, too many eyes watching as her father grabbed her hand, coaxing her towards her newly appointed fiancé. He handed her over like she the prize was, as if he was giving a toy to an excited child. Sam arranged her face into a mask of cold but inwardly she felt a wave of hot fury settle over her at her father's disregard, as if he didn’t just crushed her dreams.

Everything was happening so fast. Too fast.

The Lord of the Spring offered her his arm, his lips tightening when she retreated a step. The crowd murmured.

If she turned away now they’d start talking.

Sam willed herself to extend her arm, and he linked their elbows as he turned them to the guests, her bland expression contrasting with the eagerness in his face. It took everything in her power to not rip her arm from him and run away.

This was to be her life. Trapped in a marriage she never wanted. Shackled to a male she did not love, that wasn’t even her mate. Forever.

Tears brimmed in her eyes as reality shattered through her. Her chest rising and falling with rapid breaths, her inner hysteria intensifying at the feeling of being cornered by the myriad of eyes pressing on her. The crowd’s faces blurred as more tears welled. She was going to fall apart right then and there. In front of everyone.

Don’t let them see you cry.

Sam blinked. Through the blood pounding in her ears, she heard his voice that made her stop short. The words echoed in her mind.

Concentrate on your breathing. Stay focused.

She took in a deep breathe through her nose, and slowly exhaled. In, out, in, out-

Good girl, Joshua said in her head. Now look forward. Keep your chin high. No tears. Wait until you're back in your room.

She slowly relaxed as she listened to him, the sound of his voice grounding her, his words holding her together as the High Lord of the Spring Court- her fiancé- escorted her around the room.

The bride of spring surveyed the crowd, searching for a pair of lethal eyes hidden in shadows. Eyes she had felt upon her all night. She found Joshua watching her, standing in the back of the room with his hands into his pockets. His face was a cool mask of indifference, night still rippling off him.

Sam pulled her eyes away and didn’t look at him for the rest of the night.

***

After the ball, while she sat in front of her vanity, Sam watched Ashley pull off the pins that held her hair in the elegant twist that had been styled in. Their eyes met through the mirror, and Sam gave her handmaiden and closest friend a watery smile.

Ashley frowned. “I know you’re upset. You don’t have to hide it, not around me.”

“I’m fine.” she said.

Her friend plucked one last pin, letting the blonde tresses fall down her back. Ashley rubbed her shoulders in a comforting way and lowered her face, pressing it to the side of Sam’s head- the red of her hair striking against the princess’s fair one. “No, you’re not.”

Sam bit her lip. “There has to be something I can do.”

“A handsome High Lord wants to marry you,” Ashley crooned. “Oh the horror.”

“It’s not just that I don’t want to marry. It’s that I hate being forced into this.” Sam stood and walked over to the window. It was still dark out, the stars sparkling. A pair of mischievous grey eyes flashed through her mind. She sighed and looked away. “My parents just handed me over to a stranger like it was nothing. Like I was nothing.”

Ashley’s eyes softened. “Your parents just want to make sure you’re taken care of.”

Only half of that was true.

“And I want more out of life than to be just a High Lord’s wife.”

“You could do a lot worse than the High Lord of the Spring Court. Mother above, have you seen those luscious golden curls of his,” Ashley said, awe in her eyes. “He looks like a cherub.”

Sam snorted but didn’t say anything else, deciding to let the subject drop. Ashley’s intentions were good but she didn’t understand. She turned to the window again, her thoughts drifting to another certain High Lord.

As if she could sense her distress, Ashley said, “I’ll go draw a bath.”

“You know me too well.” she said, giving her handmaiden a small smile that didn’t meet her eyes.

Later, while she sat in the bath, Sam couldn’t help but think about her strange encounter with Joshua. Couldn’t stop thinking about his offer.

He was right. He was right and she hated it. Whether she wants it or not, she was still leaving tomorrow, let it be with him or her newly appointed fiancé. She had to choose. Had to decide between Night or Spring. Both so different, yet each the root of her distress.

It’s your choice, Joshua had told her earlier.

Isn’t that what she wanted? For her to have the freedom to choose? To decide over her future? Sure, she may not like the idea of living at the Night Court but at least it would be her choice.

Sam stayed on the tub long enough that the bath had gone cold. She knew what she had to do.

***

Dawn was upon the horizon, the sky turning into a canvas of spilled oranges, pinks and purples. The golden rays of the sun slowly peeked out from behind the mountains, driving away the shadows covering the lands of her court. Sam took in a deep breath, her nostrils filling with the fresh morning air.

A wave of nostalgia spread through her. She wasn’t even gone and she was already missing this place. She remembered when Mike, Ashley and her used to sneak out as younglings and watch the sunrise, when their childish ignorance was bigger than obligations, ranks and mindless court games.

A pang went through her heart at the thought of her friends. She was leaving them without saying goodbye, without giving them an explanation. She could imagine the hurt in their eyes when they realized what she’d done. It was for the best if they didn’t know.

From what Mike had told her, his relationship with the High Lord wasn’t exactly friendly. Sam knew Mike cared about her, that he was a good friend but he would’ve tried to make her to stay, wouldn’t understand why she needed to leave. Ash, on the other hand… her dear friend would have supported her decision, even if she didn’t completely understand Sam’s choice. Which is why she couldn’t tell her. If her parents caught even a whiff that Ashley knew what their daughter was planning on doing… Sam shuddered.

Leaving without saying anything was the best.

By the time anyone in the palace noticed her absence, she would be far, far away from here. Her parents would be scandalized but she didn’t care. No one was going to be her master.

The High Lord was already waiting for her. He was leaning against the railing, his back to her as he watched the rising sun. Tendrils of darkness leaking from him like ink in water.

“Are you sure?” he asked, turning to her. The gold thread of his black tunic shining under faint rays of the sun.

Sam simply nodded.

His face turned deadly serious, the intensity of his eyes making her want to look away, but she held his stare. “If you come with me, there’s no going back. You can’t speak to anyone who doesn’t belong to my court about what you see. Not to your family, not to your friends. Because if you do the consequences will be grave. If you come, you’ll have to lie about it forever. If you ever decide to return here, you cannot tell a soul about what you see, who you meet, what you will witness. So if you’d rather not live with that, then stay here and live out the life your parents have chosen for you.”

Sam pondered his words. To stay here, stay locked up in her golden cage… she couldn’t bear it, couldn’t endure to live shackled to a life she didn’t want- to see her soul turn into a hollow shell of sorrow and remorse. “Take me with you,” she breathed. “I won’t tell anyone about what I see. I swear.”

Joshua studied her for a moment longer before extending his arm towards her. With a wicked grin, he said, “Then it’s a bargain.”

The princess stepped forward, hesitantly placing her hand in his. She gasped the sudden tingling sensation that hit her. Swirls of blank ink appeared on her forearm and hand, filling her skin with intricate patterns of whirls and stars. Letting go of his hand, she inspected her arm, turning it over. Staring back at her was a large slitted eye tattooed right in the center of her palm and she could've sworn it blinked back at her.

“As you might already know, it’s a custom in my court for bargains to be permanently marked upon flesh,” he said as she rubbed her arm.

Right. She’d forgotten about that.

Darkness cleaved the space in front of them, it’s black winds roaring. The Lord of Night let out a chuckle as Sam clung to him, the wind tearing at her, the shadows caressing her, trying to pull her in. He slipped a hand around her waist, pressing her to him. She felt his warm breath as the deep voice whispered in her ear, “Hold on.”

The princess of the Dawn Court didn’t look back as the High Lord guided her into the shadows, darkness swallowing them whole.

#the mortifying ordeal of being known pt2 #i don't know what i'm doing #this is so cliche #so fucking cliche #but what else did i expect from writing a fanfic based on SJMass books #sam giddings #josh washington #jossam #until dawn #until dawn fanfiction #jossam fanfiction #fae au #acotar au #soulmate au #my writing

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