And then approximately 8 days later he is shot dead by his infant son so sad.

Tidal Wave

part one | part two

pairing: lo’ak x fem!human!reader

genre: angst, more angst, comfort (from tsireya to lo’ak + from spider to reader + from kiri to reader), & fluff (at the very end)

word count: 14.4k+ (holy fuck)

warning(s): suggestive content, crying, yelling, familial arguments, secrets are spilled (😬), neytiri + lo’ak arguing, mentions of violence + self inflicted injury (reader rubs skin raw), mention of incident at ta’unui clan, slightest lo’ak x tsireya, reader having self-deprecating thoughts, lo’ak being lovesick for reader, mention of lo’ak being sad, major character death, sprinkle of miscommunication / misinterpretation of actions, blood, slightest spider x reader, kiri + reader are bffs!, heartbreak?, cursing, & mentions of having little appetite

taglist: @bewbz2110 @httpjiikook @aonungsmate @cheyehc @ihave500hubbiez @heart-an0n @omnifanfic @toomuchtime02 @bigdikzaddy @anxietydrogz @myh3artttt @ancientbeing10 @yourusername1 @dearstell @goodiesinthecloset21 @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @arminsgfloll @optimisticblazetrash @liyahsocorro @universal-s1ut @amortencjja @sweetirilly @blushhpeachh @alohastitch0626 @btsiguess-kpop @ithinkimaslutforharry @zootymcnooty @zeeader @reallysparklychaos @zeida @coffeehurricanes @manumanulau @pumpararapam @ipang @willowcxmilee @audigay @sagaonpandora

word bank: sa’nok — mother, sempul — father, eywa / great mother — goddess deity that the na’vi believe in, tawtute — human; sky person, ikran — four winged creature used for hunting + flying, kehe — no, palulukan — thanator, sìlpeytsyìp — little hope (idk if it’s an accurate translation since i just put the words hope + little together), tulkun — whale like creatures, ilu — sea creature used for hunting + riding, yawne — beloved, & nga yawne lu oer — i love you

songs that i drew inspo from: a match into water by pierce the veil, gilded lily (sped up version) by cults, mr. forgettable by david kushner, & reflections by the neighbourhood

note: huge shoutout to @neteyamslovrr for helping me proofread this! ilysm baby 😭🫶🏼🤍 mentions of readers birthday takes place around 3-4 months after her & spider were kidnapped (so reader, kiri, spider, & lo’ak are aged up to 17-18). i imagined the events of atwow happening over a couple of months due to the fact that ronal is more visibly pregnant towards the end than when we first see her. so, just for clarification :)

Lo’ak had begged his parents the morning after to save you.

He pleaded and begged, getting on his knees as he sobbed into his Sa’nok’s thigh, covering it in his warm tears and snot. But, Jake’s answer stayed persistent: “They are strong kids, son. They will be alright,”. Of course, Jake wasn’t aware that Lo’ak and his other siblings heard what he had to say about you and Spider the night before during he and Neytiri’s heated discussion.

( “The kids know everything! They know where we live! Spider knows our whole operation. We are not safe as long as they have those two. They both can lead him right here! We are no longer safe staying here.” )

Lo’ak knew that neither you or Spider would ever give up the location of High Camp or of the Sully family. The both of you were loyal to a fault. Perhaps too loyal for your own good. It hurt to hear that his own Sempul would ever think that you would betray the family you grew to think of as your own. Lo’ak knew you better than anyone else.

Having to leave the Omatikaya and not even attempt to save you made Lo’ak resent his parents, his heart completely breaking into two as he got farther and farther from his home and essentially you. It was days before he had spoken to his parents after arriving at Awa’atlu, but it wasn’t like his parents sought out to speak to him either.

The more time he spent on the island, the more time he found himself yearning to have you by his side. To experience all of this with you. There was a constant hole in his chest that never left, deepening every time he thought of you. He had no way of knowing if you were being tortured at the current moment or even alive. He didn’t trust the RDA to keep you alive, especially once they saw how loyal you were to Jake and his family, disposing of you like you were nothing. You are everything to Lo’ak and it pained him to not know how you were doing or what was happening to you during your time in the enemy’s hands.

He could only pray to Eywa every night to keep you safe and spare you, fully aware that if she answered his call, she’d need something in return. And he was fully prepared to pay the price with his own life.

———

The torture they put you through was something you’d never would wish upon your greatest enemy.

They had ceased the torture on Spider, the orders being given to them by Quaritch. So, Ardmore turned to you and inflicted all kinds of pain and continuous torture onto you. The human boy begged Quaritch to put a stop to this, demanding him to let you go. But no matter how much Spider pleaded with the man or how many times he went over it with Ardmore, the woman didn’t budge. She was insistent on getting something out of you. But all she really got was memories and flashes of a tall Na’vi teen boy and nothing else. Things that were useless to her, so she punished you every time.

The first time you arrived at their base, their doctors had pulled you aside and assessed you. They deemed that you had multiple fractured ribs and a mild concussion, ordering Ardmore to let you heal before she decided to do anything. She agreed to it at first since she had Spider to get information out of, but once Quaritch told her that he was off limits and was going to comply with him and his team, she began to drag you out to the interrogation room and leave you in there for hours until you passed out.

It was the same routine for weeks. Wake up, get dragged to the interrogation room, receive endless amounts of torture for hours, pass out, repeat. Days began to blur together, not knowing where one began and the next stopped. It was all the same.

The first time you realized you had been in the RDA’s grasp for too long was the night Spider had snuck into your room and gently sang happy birthday to you. It must’ve been months then. Your seventeenth birthday was celebrated nearly a year before being taken hostage by Quaritch. Ardmore had deemed it best to separate Spider and you from each other, breaking down both of your support systems. That night, as you and the boy silently cried into the dark of your room, you lost all hope that Lo’ak was coming back for you.

It hurt too much to think about. But you knew, you knew that eventually, it was never going to work out. You were too different. Something was bound to happen sooner or later, ripping the two of you from each other and essentially ending the relationship you had with one another. You loved Lo’ak dearly but you knew that your love was never in the cards. It was something taboo, forbidden. You only hoped that Lo’ak was able to find comfort within someone else during this time. For you doubted that you’d ever see each other again. He needed someone like him. Not you.

———

Lo’ak had done everything he could to keep his mind off of you.

He needed to keep his mind off of you if he didn’t want to break down in the middle of the beach twenty-four-seven. So, he often spent more time training with Tsireya and got into meaningless fights whenever he could, angering his parents to no end. It worked at times, but often not, his mind always wandered back to you. Always.

“Lo’ak, what are you doing?” A soft voice asked, pulling the boy away from his never ending thoughts of the one person he desired to see.

“Moping,” he mumbled, crossed legged on the shoreline as he picked at the soft sand beneath him.

“I can tell,” she replied, taking a seat next to him. The boy next to her looked like a wounded puppy, ears drawn back as his tail laid limp beside him. Plus, he had a frown painted onto his face as he blankly stared at the sand below. “What is bothering you?” She asked, calmness etched into her voice.

Lo’ak hadn’t told her, or any other Metkayina for that matter, about you and the kind of relationship you shared. Sure he mentioned you and Spider and what happened before he and his family left to seek uturu from the reef people. But he never gave anyone the idea that he was in love with you. He didn’t know how any of them would react.

“Is it about the humans you mentioned earlier?” She added, filling in the silence that was growing between them as Lo’ak didn’t answer her previous question.

The boy only hummed, poking his fingers into the damp sand. He really didn’t want to talk to Tsireya about this. It risked the chance of his Sa’nok hearing or a stranger eavesdropping and telling everyone else in the village about how much he cared for a tawtute. It also hurt to talk about you. Because he knew once he started, he was never going to stop.

“I am sorry that they were taken. I know they meant a lot to you and your siblings,” Tsireya commented, truly feeling sorry for the young boy. She could tell that Lo’ak deeply cared for the humans and she couldn’t imagine losing someone that close to her like that.

A shrug from Lo’ak was his only response to the girl’s comfort, tears beginning to prick his eyes as he began to crave your touch and soothing lips against his. He began to forget what it was like to have your hands and lips on his own skin, making the hole in his chest increase in size.

“What were their names again?” She delicately asked, genuinely curious. Foreign things always interested the girl and she had never seen a tawtute before. So, befriending people that have, made her want to ask all of the questions she’s been dying to ask. The girl knew that her chance of meeting a human was extremely low before the Sully’s arrival, but that still didn’t stop her from wondering.

A small smile etched itself onto the corners of Lo’ak’s lips as he thought about you. Your name was probably his favorite thing to utter. It becoming a prayer during the darkest hours of the night, with you being the only one to answer his mumbled words. You were Lo’ak’s salvation and he never hesitated to remind you.

“(Y/N) and Spider,” he replied, fingers now fiddling with the anklet around his foot. You had made it for him for his fifteenth birthday. The poor boy had been so flustered while trying to tie it around his ankle that the woven material kept slipping through his fingers. You offered your help with a giggle, your soft fingertips causing fire to erupt against his skin as they trailed from his ankle bone to his calf in a teasing manner. If Lo’ak closed his eyes and tried hard enough, he could still feel the tingly sensation your fingers left behind in their wake.

“Those are…interesting names,” Tsireya giggled, testing out their names on her tongue, attempting to enunciate every letter and vowel to the best of her ability. “Humans have such weird names,” she comments, reflecting back on the time she briefly met Norm and Max when they came to visit after Kiri’s seizure.

Lo’ak only hummed in response, smile still on his face as he recalled all the memories he has of you. He missed you so much. He felt empty without you. He felt as if he had half a soul with you gone. His whole being ached to be with you, touch you, love you.

The Metkayina girl noticed Lo’ak’s almost blissful smile on his face, copying his actions. She could only assume that one of you meant more to him than the other. That the other held a special place in his heart. “Which one is it?” She asked, not trying to sound like she was prying. That was the last thing she wanted to do. She was just curious.

Lo’ak’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, “What do you mean?”.

“Which one has you wrapped around their finger?”.

The question itself made Lo’ak blush, bottom lip going in between his teeth in an attempt to stop an even wider smile from making its way onto his face. Damn, he thought, she can read me like a book. You got to be more subtle man.

The boy gave her his answer, tail perking up and swaying to and from at the mention of your name, his body betraying him at trying to hide his affection for you.

“Can you tell me about her?” Tsireya asked, enthralled at how just the mere mention of your name influenced such actions from the Omatikaya boy.

Lo’ak didn’t need to be asked twice before he began to talk about you, barely taking any breaths in between each word he uttered. If only his Mother and Father could see how much love Lo’ak held for you. If only.

———

“Ready kid?”.

You’d rather throw yourself off the highest floating mountain than go with Quaritch and his team on their mission to hunt down Jake and his family. But, alas, you had to go. You had to go unless you wanted to continue to be tortured by the old blonde Captain. You hated that woman with everything you had in you.

Quaritch had promptly requested Ardmore to cease her torturous treatment on you, stating that he finally got a lead on where the Sully’s might be and that you were crucial to the plan he and his team were putting together. He needed you to go with them and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He saw how Jake’s son had reacted when he was teasing the boy about you. The boy cared for you and Quaritch was going to use it as leverage somehow.

“Don’t have much of a choice, do I?” You replied, eyes narrowing at the man in front of you. You absolutely did not want to go wherever they were going, but you didn’t want to stay behind and be tortured to death. So, you took the lesser of two evils (if you could even call it that).

Quaritch chuckled at your response, shaking his head, motioning you to follow after him. The man had taken a liking to you, much like he did with Spider. You weren’t afraid to express how much you disliked the man nor did you hesitate to express your distaste for the whole situation he put you in. He liked your bluntness and admired your loyalty to the Na’vi, even if it was a major inconvenience for him and his team.

You had only ridden on an ikran a handful of times before, Lo’ak only being able to convince you with his little pout and big pleading eyes. You never were a fan of heights and having to spend Eywa knows how long on an ikran to the next base Quaritch was heading to made you want to cry. At least with Lo’ak, you knew that he’d always catch you if you began to slip. But with Quaritch, you were confident he wouldn’t give two shits if you slipped off the flying creature.

“I am not getting on an ikran with you,” you commented, hands on hips as you approached the RDA Avatar soldiers and their ikrans. You were very surprised that the whole group managed to, successfully, claim an ikran within only months of being on Pandora whereas native Na’vi trained their whole lives for this. It all left a bitter taste in your mouth when you thought about it.

“You’re not, sweetheart,” Quaritch answers, turning back towards you once he reached his bonded companion.

The ikran was probably the most beautiful you’ve seen, even with your limited experience with the creatures. The whole body of the animal was a deep navy blue, streaks of gold and orange decorating its wings. The animal itself was gorgeous. It was ironic how someone so evil and ugly had managed to tame something so beautiful.

“Spider’s riding with me. You’ll ride with Z-Dog,” he continued, clicking his tongue towards the tall Avatar woman, gently petting his ikran as he did so.

Your eyes were torn from the navy creature in front of you to the woman. Your blood went cold as you made eye contact, her hard stare boring into your eyes as she robotically chewed at the gum in her mouth. Great, you thought, I’m definitely going to die.

“We don’t have all day, kid,” Quaritch commented, already mounted on his ikran as Spider sat in front of him, eyes worriedly scanning your figure as you stood there frozen in place.

Your eyes then drifted from the woman to her bonded companion behind her, its face gently nuzzling into her side affectionately. Your heart clenched at the sight of the animal. It looked almost identical to that of your boyfriend's ikran. Lo’ak’s was an almost dark blue, gold swirling around its neck and wings. His companion shared many similarities to the one of his Father, the only difference being the black patch on his protruding lower jaw. Memories of when Lo’ak took you out for rides on his ikran flooded your mind, making the hole in your chest double in size.

“Let’s go,” the woman said, snatching your forearm in her grip as she placed you onto the creature, placing herself behind you as she made tshaleyu with the animal. The winged creature chirped in delight at the sensation and shrieked once it readied itself to take flight, wings twitching.

You braced yourself for the ride, both hands tightening around one of the ikrans queues, thighs tensing in anticipation. The rides you had with Lo’ak were much more smoother and gentler. Lo’ak made sure to put emphasis on how he dismounted from the ground, trying to make it as smooth as possible for you. His bonded animal always complied, never rushing when he pushed off the ground and into the skies above. You found yourself missing that process as you desperately tried not to slip off the poor animal as it ascended into the blue sky. It was rough, to say the least.

Once you reached an appropriate enough altitude, Z-Dog steadied and leveled out her ikran, halting the rough turbulence you experienced moments prior. The creature chirped once again, smoothly gliding through the wind.

You always loved the feeling you got whenever you were up in the sky with Lo’ak despite your anxiety regarding heights. He always made sure that you were okay throughout the ride as well as before and after the fact. But with the stranger you were assigned to, you found yourself wanting to hurl in anxiousness. You only hoped that this was going to be a quick and fast flight to wherever the hell you were heading to.

———

The minute you stepped into the small room the tulkun hunters had allowed you to occupy during your stay, you fell to your knees. Sobs racked your body as your mind replayed the scenes that you witnessed only minutes prior. Arriving at the Ta’unui village. The gathering of their people like they were sheep to slaughter. Quaritch threatening the Tsahik and Olo’eyktan of the clan. Lyle shooting and killing a sea creature on his Colonel’s order. The burning of the peoples homes. The killing of a Mother tulkun. It all kept replaying in your head, even when you moved to the even smaller shower.

You tried so hard to rid of the memories in your head, of the smell on your skin, of the guilt you felt. You rubbed at your skin until it was raw and hot and bleeding. The permanent reminder of just what your race is capable of slamming to the forefront of your mind. It all felt wrong. It feels wrong being here. Feels wrong to live on Pandora where its native species had to experience the pain and constant attempts of colonization from a different species. It all felt like you were contributing to whatever Quaritch had in mind. Even if he didn’t tell you any details, you still chose to come along. Maybe staying behind with Captain Ardmore would’ve been a better option. After all, it wouldn’t have mattered if you were alive or not at the end of it for you already felt dead inside. Nothing and no one would be able to bring you comfort from what you just saw and gone through.

“(Y/N)?” A familiar voice asked, it cracking from the amount of emotion the owner felt.

“Spider,” you whispered, curling in on yourself as you saw his figure standing in your doorway, tears streaming down his face.

The boy made his way to your bed, laying on it, facing you on his side. Not a word was uttered between you two, not needing any to communicate the type of comfort you both seeked from each other. And you stayed like that, facing each other and grasping onto each other's hands for comfort as you unknowingly fell asleep, slumber welcoming you into its embrace. But even your dreams weren’t a safe place. You dreamt of fire, of blood, and of death the whole night.

Maybe Neytiri was right. You should’ve never befriended the Sully children. You should’ve stuck to your own kind.

———

The second Lo’ak heard that a boy and a girl had been with Quaritch and his team during their attack on a nearby village, he began to ready his ilu for the trip. For getting you back.

The boy had paced back and forth from the edge of the mauri to his swimming companion, bending down to slip on the various of saddles the animal needed for riding. The creature chirped up at him every time Lo’ak bent down, seemingly encouraging him as he did so.

“What are you doing?” A voice asked, confusion laced in their tone. Lo’ak knew who it was before they even spoke. His Sa’nok had a bad habit of sneaking up on everyone, being too quiet for her own good. The hairs on the back of his head always stood up on end whenever he felt his Mothers presence behind him, alerting him of the potential rage he was going to face from the woman.

“To save them,” Lo’ak mumbled, too focused on saddling the right equipment on his companion, fiddling with the straps as he tightened them. The boy knew that his parents never really cared for either of your well-beings, it being evident in their body language and actions whenever he or Kiri talked about the things they did with the pair of you that particular day. If they weren’t willing to save you, then Lo’ak would take it upon himself to. He finally knew where you were after months of not knowing and he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to have you in his arms again.

A growl emitted itself from his Mothers lips, her hand coming out to grip her son's bicep into her grasp, “Kehe!”.

Neytiri didn’t know why her son was so infatuated with you, a tawtute. She was always against her children from befriending you and Spider, glaring at your figures everytime you walked by at High Camp. Her son seemed to be closer with you than Spider. The fact always bothered her, making her skin crawl with anger. Angry that you were occupying her son's time when he could be doing other things, meeting other people, and talking to other appropriate women of the clan.

“You will not,” she continued, scowl painted onto her face as she glared down at her son. She knew that if Lo’ak were to continue with his plan and make it to wherever you were, that Quaritch wouldn’t hesitate to shoot or take him prisoner. She couldn’t have that. Neytiri needed all of her children within eyesight so she could look over them and make sure that they were safe. She wouldn’t be able to do that if her son went to you.

Lo’ak growled back at his Mother, ripping his arm out from her tight grip. The boy had his mind made up and nobody was going to stop him. He needed to get to you. He needed you.

“I will. Why do you even care? You haven’t bothered to talk to me the whole time here. The only time you talk to me is to yell or scold me for doing yet another thing wrong,” Lo’ak hissed out, teeth tightly clenched. “(Y/N) and Spider care about me more than you ever have!” He added, whole body shaking in anger.

Neytiri gasped at her sons exclaimation, lightly hissing at him, “How dare you think that? I love you, Lo’ak. But they, they do not! They are demons! They aren’t capable of such things as love.”

Lo’ak’s ears drew back to press up against his skull and his lips drew up to show off his pointed fangs, a very loud hiss escaping from between his teeth. The hiss sounded almost roar-like, drawing attention from inside the Sully mauri, ears and tails perking up in interest.

Another gasp escaped from Neytiri’s throat. Her son had never hissed at her like that. Sure he had hissed at her playfully when he was younger or out of annoyance whenever she tried to get him to open up to her. But he had never hissed at her so…possessively. The only time she had heard a roar like this was when her husband was fighting off Quaritch during the Great Battle and he threatened everything he worked so hard to build during his time in the Avatar program.

“They do! She loves me. She’s capable of it and so much more. But you are too stubborn and stuck in your ways to see her the way I do. She cares for me, loves me. That I know,” Lo’ak grumbled out, fangs seeming to get even longer as he brewed in his anger. “I see her and she sees me. Something you and Dad never do,” he finished, turning away from his Mother as he reached out to grab the final thing he needed for his ride to you.

“What do you mean, Lo’ak?” Neytiri asked, anger laced in her voice. She knew what he was insinuating, but she needed to hear it come from his mouth. To confirm her suspicions. To confirm or deny what she had been thinking for years.

“I mean that she is mine. She is the only thing that I was ever able to have. I see her. She has taken me heart, body, and soul,” he slightly hisses out, not daring to look at his Mother as he spoke. He knew that once the confession of his sins slipped from his lips, there was no telling what his Mother would do. He didn’t want to be in the crossfire once she decided to act upon whatever she was feeling, her not being a top priority in his life at the moment. You were the priority and he’d be damned if anyone stopped him from getting to you.

“No,” Neytiri whispers, “You did not. Tell me you didn’t!”.

There were many things that his Mother could be referring to, but he was pretty sure he knew what she was hinting at. It was something that he had planned on doing with you once he properly courted you and way further into the future. But, nothing ever goes according to plan in Lo’ak’s life. The first time you guys had engaged in such an act was months before you were taken hostage. You had never been to the Tree of Souls, it being nearly impossible for you to get to without proper assistance. Lo’ak had decided to take you to it as a surprise on your weekly date night. The two of you had been dating for a while but never went as far as kissing or wondering hands against skin. It all happened so fast. One minute Lo’ak was describing the connection to you, how it all worked and the next, you were under him squirming and calling out his name in pleasure. He knew that once such an act was done, he’d be tied to you forever. That in the eyes of the Great Mother you two were mates and forever bound to one another’s souls. After that, the two of you often found yourselves engaging to be together. Lo’ak felt as if it was another way he could feel connected to you without being able to perform tshaleyu. He never took the act for granted and always put your pleasure before his, worshiping every inch of your body before you could do the same to him.

Her sons silence was Neytiri’s answer resulting in her loudly hissing at her youngest son, almost matching Lo’ak’s moments prior. That was the final straw to have Jake interfere between his arguing son and wife.

“You gave yourself to her? To a demon? Agh! Shame! You have brought shame upon this family and yourself. You tainted yourself with a human. Someone who can’t give you a future!” She yelled out, angry tears running down the expanse of her cheeks. Intercourse before mating wasn’t something that was taboo in the Omatikaya culture, but it was expected of the Olo’eyktan and his family to save themselves before then, demonstrating their loyalty to the people and their future spouse. So to hear her son, the second born of the Olo’eyktan, engage in such an intimate act with a human nonetheless, made her want to pluck his eyes out from the sockets that held them.

“Woah! Woah! Hey!” Jake said, jumping in between his son and wife before either of them could jump at each other's throat. His front faced Neytiri while his back faced his son. “Hey! What’s going on?” He gently asked, bringing his wife’s face into his hands as he tried to get her to focus his attention on him and not Lo’ak.

“Your son has mated with a demon!” She spat out, disgust interlaced in her tone. The way she felt towards the situation was evident enough on her face. Her lips were drawn back to flash her fangs and her nose was scrunched as if she just smelt a pile of Palulukan dung.

Jake froze at the words his wife spat, eyes darting to his son behind him. Although he froze at the words, he wasn’t surprised. He had a feeling that you and Lo’ak were more than just friends. He often caught his son gently rubbing at the marks you left on his skin during dinner, a smirk dancing across his youngests lips. Jake’s not stupid. He was Lo’ak’s age once and understood the urges he faced. But, he was human then and the Na’vi have a completely different way of thinking and going about things like this.

Jake didn’t question Lo’ak about whether or not what Neytiri said was true, already knowing the answer. He only sighed in response and tried to coax his wife to calm down.

“Go back in the house, son. Now,” Jake demanded, shooting him a look that told him he wasn’t taking a no for an answer.

Lo’ak wanted to argue and continue with his plan on rescuing you, but he knew that his pleading would be worthless, especially after his confession. So, he begrudgingly desaddled his ilu and made his way into the pod, ignoring the looks of his siblings as he made his way to his side of the house, throwing something against the woven wall before settling down in the corner. Tears left his eyes as he sat there. He was frustrated. All he wanted to do was see and hold you, but it seemed as if Eywa wasn’t on his side once again.

Why Great Mother? Why do you do this to me?

His heart further broke at the fact that you, yet again, slipped through his fingers. It seemed as if the whole universe was against the two of you. But, the universe be damned. Lo’ak was going to get you back no matter what it took. He’d burn down villages for you, destroy planets for you. He’d do anything for you.

———

“They found out?” A soft voice asks, pulling Lo’ak out from his zoning out episode.

He only hummed in response, eyes puffy from all the crying he did that night. His Mother screamed and cried at him after she talked to Jake, calling him what everyone else does, a disappointment. He desperately tried to get her to understand how he felt about you and how much he cared for you. He wouldn’t fall in love with just anyone, so you had to be very special to be the one to hold his heart.

Neteyam had been the one to comfort him that night as Jake and Kiri consoled Neytiri, trying to get her to calm down so she didn’t disturb any other Metkayina trying to sleep or seek shelter from the storm. It had been the first time in years that Neteyam had held Lo’ak in his arms, turning him away from the sight of their Sa’nok as the elder practically held the younger in his lap. Neteyam felt bad that their Mother was acting like this. Like she too hadn’t fallen in love with a tawtute. No matter how long Jake stayed on the planet and mingled with the natives, he would always be a human at heart. It’s hard to break out of old habits and it seemed as if their Father began to fall back into his sky people ways as of recent.

( “It’s okay, tsmukan,” Neteyam had whispered, Lo’ak barely hearing over the dramatic wails of his Mother. The boy had long been done with his crying, just blankly staring at the anklet wrapped around his foot. The last remaining thing he had of you.

“She doesn’t understand,” the older brother continued, stroking Lo’ak’s braids with such a gentleness, he thought for a second that it was you who was holding him. He only ever experienced such a gentle touch with you. It felt wrong that it wasn’t. That it was coming from his brother and not you.

“She does not,” Lo’ak confirmed, burying himself further into his brothers body, actively seeking his warmth to combat the shaking of his own body. “She never will,” he continued, eyes hardened to a glare as he stared at the intricately woven floor. She will never understand, he thought to himself, anger and sadness erupting in his chest. )

“A lot of the people heard your Mother last night,” Tsireya spoke up, sitting next to the dark blue boy. She felt bad for the teen. To be in love with someone you could never have must be heart wrenching. “I am sorry she acted the way she did. I hope she soon comes to the realization that you do truly love her,” she continued, trying to offer up the best comfort she could.

“I don’t think my Dad cared. Probably already knew before I told them. But,” he croaked out, voice coming out coarse as a result from his crying the night prior, “He didn’t do anything to stop Mom from saying those things about her, about me.”.

Having his Father allow his wife to continually insult his lover and him had made Lo’ak bitter. How come he wasn’t able to defend the one he loved but it was alright for Neytiri to throw such hurtful words to her own son? It all seemed hypocritical, backwards.

Tsireya frowned at Lo’ak’s words. She truly felt bad for him. She didn’t think that it was fair for his own Mother to react that harshly to the news. Didn’t she too fall in love with a human? It didn’t make sense to her.

“Oh, Lo’ak, I’m so sorry,” she whispered out, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder in hopes to comfort him.

Nothing about this situation was ideal. Lo’ak wasn’t able to go and rescue you from the clutches of the RDA. Neytiri had scolded and reprimanded her youngest son for being in love, calling him all sorts of colorful names in the process. Jake hadn’t done anything to prevent his wife from her onslaught of scowls and hisses towards their son. The whole clan now probably knew about how Lo’ak was a sky demon lover. And Tsireya is the one comforting the boy when it should be his own family that we’re bringing him solace. It all became a mess so fast, everything crumbling down towards the ground within seconds.

Lo’ak only hummed in response to Tsireya’s sympathetic tone, too tired to give her an actual response. His eyes were bloodshot from all the tears he’s expelled over night. Lo’ak’s face was practically swollen from how hard he cried last night. He looked like a complete mess.

Eywa had to be punishing him for something for the deity that he grew up hearing about wouldn’t have allowed any of this to happen. Was it really that bad that Lo’ak loved you? That he loved a human? Surely the Great Mother held all of her children dear to her heart. So, why was she letting this happen? What was the bigger picture? What was the reason? Lo’ak wanted to know the answers to these questions so he could figure out why it was so wrong to love you when it felt so right to.

———

Pain spread throughout your lower back and hip, becoming warm as the nerve endings communicated with each other and the crushed blood cells came to the surface of your delicate skin. The minute Spider hijacked the ship and the vehicle surged forward, your body made harsh contact with the metal table in the middle of the room and the floor once it crashed amongst the jagged rocks.

“(Y/N)! You okay?” The human boy yelled out, scrambling up to his feet to get to your position against the floor.

A groan was your only answer, pulling yourself up the best you could before the soldiers and ship crew could grab you. You could feel the bruises already forming on your soft skin, heat spreading throughout the areas.

“Get them off the ship!” A voice demanded, catching your attention. Your heart dropped to your stomach upon hearing the words. They were going to take you somewhere farther from Lo’ak once more. Although you hadn’t gone down with Spider to see him and the others being held hostage at the front of the ship, you still didn’t want to be taken somewhere else where you most likely wouldn’t be able to see him again.

Hands wrapped themselves around your biceps, roughly pulling you up from where you kneeled, guiding you to the exit.

“Let go of me!” You hissed, ripping your arms from out of the strangers grip just in time to catch the mask being thrown at you by another.

“Put it on,” they demanded, putting on their own mask before looking at you as you put yours on, a scowl on your face as you did so.

The same person pushed you forward in front of them, urging you to walk forwards and down the metal stairs. You desperately wanted to push whoever was in front of you down the stairs and run towards wherever they were keeping Lo’ak and the rest. You only wanted to see him and make sure that he was okay. That he was still breathing.

“Make sure it’s tight,” a man commented, tugging on the side of your mask.

“She’s fine, dumbass,” Spider spat, pushing the man’s hand away from your masked face, putting himself between the man and you.

The man before you both scoffed and continued forward, leading the two of you somewhere on the ship where they kept their smaller boats.

Spider could sense your apprehension, grabbing your hand as the group of you continued to walk along the metal surface of the ship, shaking his head down at you as he dragged you besides him. He knew what you wanted to do, he wanted to do the same, but he knew that if you gave into that urge, they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot either of you on the spot. He needed to keep you safe not just for Lo’ak’s sake but for himself too. You were his lifeline throughout this whole awful experience. Your presence itself helped him in more ways than one whenever he felt himself start to slip through the cracks while with Quaritch and Ardmore. If the two of you were going to make it out this afternoon, he needed you safe and alive.

Another man had exclaimed for the group to hurry up before the last of the boats left without them, getting cut off at the end of his sentence with a sharp exhale and groan as his body was thrown up against the wall of the ship.

Two large blue bodies had dropped down from above, pushing and punching the human men surrounding you and Spider, effectively killing them as they jumped from body to body.

“Lo’ak,” you whispered out, Spider pulling your back into his chest, away from Neteyam and Lo’ak, being wary of their size and strength.

A smile painted itself across your lips once the familiar amber eyes you dearly missed made contact with your colorful ones, time seemingly coming to a halt as the both of you took in each other's presence.

Lo’ak seemed to have filled out a bit, his biceps and thighs much larger than they were the last time you saw them. His hair was pulled back, showing off his sharpened jawline and defined shoulders and collarbones. Back in the forest, he rarely ever had his hair up, preferring it down so your fingers could have easy access to them whenever you wanted to run your smaller hands through the braids. His midsection seemed slimmer and tighter, displaying his developing abs along his stomach. Lo’ak seemed more confident in his physique as he stood there in front of you. You could practically feel it oozing off of him. The reef clan must’ve prioritized his training during his stay, you concluded.

As you gawked at the significant changes to your boyfriend's physical body, he too had his eyes glued to your figure.

Although much hadn’t changed, you still looked beautiful as ever. You had your hair down, different from your typical braid or usual hairstyle. You deemed having your hair out of your face more practical during your time in the forest. It just made everything easier as you explored and ran about. Due to Ardmore’s negligence to your physical needs, you figured it was easier to have your hair down most of the time, having no energy to do it yourself when she gave you a break from her torturous pursuits. Your hair had gotten longer during your time away from each other, inches longer than it previously was. It framed your face beautifully Lo’ak thought, smiling at you.

But before either of you could run to each other and embrace, a soldier had begun to stir and get up, a gun clutched in his grasp.

Lo’ak whipped his head towards the noise, bringing up the gun in his right hand up without thinking, finger squeezing the trigger as multiple rounds of bullets penetrated the human in front of him. The man slumped back, falling dead to the floor.

The air then became tense, the moment processing in everyone’s head for a second. Then, Neteyam had gently grabbed Lo’ak’s forearm and urged him forward, walking backwards as Spider pushed you in front of him, following the Na’vi boy.

The two boys in front of you had effortlessly jumped down from the top of the stairs to the ground below, swiftly standing up from their crouch afterwards. Sensing your hesitation, Lo’ak wrapped his free arm around your waist and followed after his brother and Spider, holding you close to his side as he jumped down from the height. He only let go of your waist once you regained your bearings.

“Hello, ma sìlpeytsyìp,” Lo’ak whispers, free hand going up to your bare neck, softly grazing his thumb against the delicate skin.

“Hello, Lo’ak,” you whisper back, a smile on your face as you gazed at your lover. Oh how you wished you didn’t need this stupid mask so you could capture his lips with yours.

You missed the boy in front of you so much. It was hard to endure all those months away from each other. He consumed every single thought you had. So to have him in front of you, alive and breathing and not a figment of your imagination, made you want to crawl into his large arms and stay there forever.

Your small moment was interrupted by Spider, him exclaiming a thank you so much man as he turned towards the Na’vi teens.

Lo’ak had tore his eyes away from yours, staring at Spider as he thanked him and Neteyam for saving both of your asses back there. The blue boy smiled at his friend, going to express his welcome but his smile dropped as he saw the same Avatar soldiers from that night come into view, aiming their guns towards the group of teens.

As Lo’ak perked up to shoot at the familiar fake Avatars, Neteyam pulled him back just as quickly, ushering him and the lot of you to run and dodge the bullets as they fired and ricocheted off the railings and other obstacles between you and them.

“Go! Go!” Neteyam exclaimed, pushing the three of you towards a corner by the moonpool, snatching Lo’ak’s gun with a give me that!.

The older Na’vi began to shoot back at the soldiers shooting at you four, shouting at all of you to hurry and jump into the water beneath the opening in front of you. Before you could process Neteyam’s words, Lo’ak took you into his arms and rushed towards the moonpool, jumping over the railing and into the water. Cool water splashed against your body and sealed mask, making you involuntarily hold your breath as a reflex.

Upon breaching the surface, you exhaled the air you held, realizing that there was no need for you to hold it.

“That was insane cuz!” Lo’ak exclaimed, high-fiving Spider as he hollered back an excited hell yeah!. His arm around you had slipped from its grasp in order to hand out the high-five he gave Spider.

The three of you just narrowly escaped death and Lo’ak was hollering in delight from the adrenaline rush. Well, you thought, at least the sea didn’t change that about him.

The hairs on your skin stood on end once you heard the gurgle of Neteyam’s first gasp of breath after following you and the boys, diving into the water. Your body instinctively knew that something bad was bound to happen and you could only pray to Eywa that this wasn’t happening.

Everyone’s world stopped on its axis once Neteyam announced that he’d been shot, struggling to keep himself upright in the water. It was as if his own acknowledgment of being shot stripped him of his refined swimming skills, limbs not being able to keep up with the blood loss and shock of the event.

You were the first one by the boys side after the words fell from his lips, trying to help keep him afloat in the water. “It’s okay, Teyam,” you whispered, head barely above the water's surface as you kept the boy upright, “You’ll be okay.”.

You knew that your words were only empty promises. That realistically, Neteyam wasn’t going to make it. No amount of comforting whispers were going to cover up that fact or bring the boy some kind of solace from death's icy grip.

“Here! Get him up on here,” an unfamiliar voice exclaimed, drawing your attention from Neteyam to the owner.

A beautiful Na’vi girl had broke the surface of the water with a strange creature by her side. She gestured for you and the rest to get Neteyam up onto the animal so you could transport him somewhere where he could be helped.

The strange girls eyes fell on you, making your stomach drop and breath hitch in your throat. She must be of the clan that harbored the Sully family, you thought to yourself as you studied her much lighter blue skin and enchanting ocean blue eyes. Really pretty too.

“C’mon bro,” Lo’ak stuttered out, taking Neteyam out from your grip and into his, swimming towards the girl and her creature.

Spider had pulled you out from your stupor, tugging on your hand as he swam the both of you towards the group, grabbing the side of the creatures saddle as it readied itself to surge forward in the water. The boys hand had let go of your hand and went to grab your waist, pulling you flush to his side in preparation for the resistance of the water once the creature got the okay to take off. Your own hands wrapped themselves around Spider’s neck, muscles in your arms tightening in preparation as well.

Once Lo’ak situated Neteyam onto the creature behind him, he urged the animal to go forward through the bond, it hurriedly gliding through the water as it pushed against the current and new added weight on all sides.

You knew that once the five of you left the scene and headed towards somewhere else, everything was going to change. That it was all downhill from here.

———

Your hands were caked in blood. In Neteyam’s blood.

The red substance ran up your wrists and stopped at your mid forearm. The skin that was covered in it felt like it was on fire. It burned.

Your small hands that were desperately trying to slow down the blood pouring out of the boys chest were replaced by Lo’ak’s, his bigger body pushing you out of the way once Jake noticed your useless efforts and demanded his second son to replace your hands with his.

Tears spewed out from your waterline, falling down your cheeks and gathering at the bottom of your mask. Your throat burned from your suppression of sobs, desperately trying to escape from your sealed lips. You didn’t feel worthy crying and sobbing over the fatally injured boy in front of you. It was your fault he was shot. Indirectly or not, if Neteyam and Lo’ak didn’t come back for you and Spider, then he’d be fine and not bleeding out in front of his family. He wouldn't be laid dying in front of you.

You felt familiar, calloused hands wrapped themselves around your frame, bringing your body into their own.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Spider lowly whispered, bringing your face into his neck as you let out a quiet sob, leaning into his embrace. He knew that you were on the brink of breaking down and knew that you were keeping it in so as to not disturb the Sully family in their growing mourning. He saw the way Lo’ak pushed his way between you and Neteyam’s dying body, replacing your hands with his own against his brothers open chest. He knew that no one else around you would comfort you in the way that you needed, so he scurried to your side and brought you into his arms for the comfort that you craved.

You’ve never seen someone die. You’ve never seen someone die right in front of you. Your brain was scrambling to gather itself and process what was happening. But it was as if your brain couldn’t gather all the working pieces it needed and abandoned you in your own body, leaving you to pick up the pieces yourself and try to process what was happening.

Your body began to shiver as shock and adrenaline coursed through your veins, making your quiet sobs even harder to contain and actually keep silent.

The minute your ears picked up on Neytiri’s high pitched wails and screams, you knew that Neteyam had taken his last breath and finally joined Eywa in his afterlife. From that moment on, everything went by in a flash.

Neytiri, Jake, and Spider had left back towards the ship for a reason your ears didn’t pick up on, still ringing in the aftershocks of Neytiri’s screams. The Na’vi woman left on her ikran, it screeching as she made tshaleyu. The both of them took off in a blur from the speed of the animals ascent. Spider left you with a gentle kiss on the forehead and a promise that he’ll come back, smoothing down your damp hair before following after Jake. And Lo’ak. He only spared you a small glance before telling the reef Na’vi girl to stay with Neteyam’s body, gently patting her cheek before he hurried off to follow his Father and Spider.

Even though your mind struggled to process and piece together what just happened, it was still able to process the soft touch Lo’ak bestowed upon the girl in front of you and the sympathetic look he gave her before he left. How she reached out for him as he walked away and the look on her face as she watched. Oh.

Your heart broke at the realization. Lo’ak finally found someone that was suitable for him. Someone that was able to give him the future he deserved. Someone that was able to give him everything you couldn’t. And more tears fell from your eyes, heart crying out at the heartbreak.

Neytiri was right. You should’ve stayed with your own kind.

———

You didn’t stay long for Neteyam’s funeral. As soon as it ended, you treaded your way out of the water and walked somewhere secluded.

It was too much being there. It was hard watching Jake and Neytiri place their eldest son down onto the orange glowing tendrils. It was hard watching him be absorbed by them, disappearing into the glowing mass. Guilt riddled your consciousness, yelling at you that you shouldn’t be there. That it was your fault that he was with Eywa now. That you took away Jake and Neytiri’s firstborn son from their grasp too soon. You felt that your presence itself was a reminder as to why Neteyam was no longer breathing.

So, you sat yourself in a secluded area on the small island, situating yourself between the large rocks that perfectly hid your smaller frame. You didn’t want anyone disturbing you, especially Lo’ak. You didn’t think you’d be able to face him again after tonight.

“You suck at sneaking away, you know that right?” A soft voice spoke out, making you jump in response from its abrupt reveal. You had been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes before you were interrupted.

Turning your head, you saw Kiri standing there, face still painted in the white substance her Mother lathered onto her face before attending her elder brother's funeral. She held a small smile in your presence, leaning down to properly sit by your side.

You only hum and nod your head in response, turning your gaze back towards the lapping waves against the soft sand of the shoreline. You felt unworthy of the girl's presence. Like you shouldn’t stare at her for too long or else Eywa would strike you down with lightning for it. Unworthy of still being her friend even after what had occurred hours prior.

“I do not blame you, (Y/N),” she spoke up, large amber eyes glued to the side of your face. “None of us do. It was not your doing for what happened that night. You were not the one with the gun,” she continued, her blue five-fingered hand coming to rest up against your shoulder in comfort.

Growing up, Kiri always knew what you were feeling by just seeing the expression on your face. It was a bit weird growing up. She knew what you felt even before you could process it yourself. But, oftentimes, you were grateful for someone like Kiri. For someone who knew you so deeply that they didn’t need words to confirm how you felt. She just knew.

Kiri did truly mean the words she spoke. She did not think that Neteyam’s death was yours nor Spiders' doing. You two were just kids who were taken hostage and desperately needed saving. You are just kids. Your whole lives were a cause of an unfortunate event but that doesn’t mean that everything bad that happens to her family and to the other natives of Pandora were solely you and Spider's fault. The two of you shouldn’t carry that heavy burden.

“But, if Lo’ak and Neteyam didn’t come after us – ” you sputtered, tears already welling in your waterline as your throat began to tighten with emotion.

The Na’vi girl knew where you were coming from. What your thought process was and how you felt. A perk of being one of your good friends she supposed.

“But nothing, (Y/N),” she cut you off, voice firm and absolute. There was no way you were going to change her mind about the situation at hand. It wasn’t your fault. Period.

“Neteyam and Lo’ak chose to come after you and Spider. They both knew of the consequences that came with following after you. No one except Quaritch and his men are to blame,” she said with finality, not needing you to further intrude on what she said. No matter how hard you’d try to convince her that it was your fault, she wouldn’t believe you. Her mind had already been made up and you weren’t the one to blame.

Only more tears began to gather and spill from your eyes at your friend's words. It was nice to hear that she, and most likely everyone else, didn’t blame you for what happened. But it didn’t help ease the guilt you felt. Nothing could aid in the guilt you felt deep within. Perhaps with time it would go away, but even then, you highly doubted that.

“Lo’ak still loves you if that is what’s causing this worry,” Kiri whispered out, only loud enough for you to hear just in case anyone else was wandering around.

During their stay at Awa’atlu, Kiri could tell that your absence had deeply disturbed her younger brother. It was evident in everything he did. Lo’ak always had a frown on his face and found excuses to pick fights with Ao’nung and his gang of friends. It was like he didn’t have a reason to behave accordingly or live anymore. Like his sense of self was lost when you were taken by Quaritch and his soldiers. He desperately missed you and she could tell that the only thing he wanted to do was get you back and have you in his arms once again.

Your stomach turned in knots and your heart stopped at Kiri’s comment. Did he really? What about the girl that helped you that night?

“I – I’m not too sure about that. What about the girl?” You asked, face damp with tears. You saw how Lo’ak treated her that night. How he gently put his hand on her cheek and how she reached out for him with a call of his name before leaving the both of you on that rock with Neteyam’s body. How he barely spared you a glance before leaving.

You were confident that he had finally found the one the Great Mother had destined him to be with. You knew that your time together was limited, the clock starting the minute you confessed your feelings to the teen boy. It broke your heart seeing him act that way with her but you knew that he’d eventually come to his senses about you and want to pursue a Na’vi who could actually give him the future he deserved. If anything, you were pleased that he found someone like him. He would no longer be held back by you.

“What? What girl? What are you talking about?” Kiri asked, shock and concern laced within her voice. She knew that Lo’ak was too in love with you to look at anyone else the way he looked at you. So your words confused her immensely. Why did you think he no longer saw you?

The blue girl ransacked her brain for the girl you were insinuating Lo’ak was into. She kept drawing blanks, until her mind settled onto the one person that was a great comfort to Lo’ak during their stay.

“You mean Tsireya?” She asked, a barely audible giggle coming out of her mouth.

To be frank, Kiri found the situation a little funny. Lo’ak was such a lovesick puppy for you that he often refused to talk to anyone who wasn’t you. He continuously asked about you before the two of you got together, always bothering Kiri as she made her way back from the lab. He also handmade many jewelry pieces for you, even if he sucked at it and needed Tuk’s help. Why would you think his affections would change that fast?

“She’s pretty,” you hum, eyes still glued on the moving waves in the distance. Really pretty. “She’s good for him, Ri. She’d be able to give him the future he deserves. Plus, Neytiri would actually like her. It was never in the cards for us,” you finished, voice now eerily calm and void of the sadness you expressed earlier.

Kiri’s mouth fell agape at your words, eyes widening to the size of yovo fruit. What the fuck?

“(Y/N), you cannot mean that. Tsireya and Lo’ak are only friends. That’s all,” she began, trying her best to save you from your overwhelming thoughts before they consumed you whole. “He still loves you. Please believe that,” she pleaded.

You finally tore your gaze from the water and up towards the glowing amber orbs of your friend. “He left me there, Kiri. All alone with no goodbye. Barely even glanced my way before he followed after Spider and Jake,” you confessed, heart breaking all over again at the memory. It was hours before they all returned to the rock. Spider was the only one to comfort you as Lo’ak was too busy with Tsireya. The rest of the family barely even spared you a glance as they pulled each other into an embrace.

Oh, Kiri thought, ears pinning to the sides of her head. Did she interpret Lo’ak and Tsireya’s body language wrong? Were they more than friends?

Neither of you uttered another word, sitting peacefully side by side as the two of you listened to the soothing sound of the lapping waves against the shore. A war was occurring within your head and walls were built to protect you from the oncoming grenades you were sure would be thrown at you by your lover once he confessed that he was no longer in love with you. If you could even call him yours anymore.

From afar, the subject of your conversation was watching the two of you converse. He so desperately wanted to run to you and gather you into his arms and keep you there forever. But, he knew that you were no longer his. He saw how Spider treated you so gently. How he placed a kiss on the crown of your head before scurrying away to lead Jake to the ship. How he was the first one to comfort you when they arrived, beating him in embracing you and soothing you as you sobbed against his bleeding chest. And even though his heart was breaking at the possibility of you no longer loving him, he only wanted you to be happy and if that was with Spider, then he’d let you go.

———

Days had passed since your conversation with Kiri. She had never left your side since, wanting to be there for you as you navigated your grief and heartbreak. Your words still stunned the poor girl. She was sure that you were wrong but she would admit that it was awfully suspicious the amount of times she saw Lo’ak and Tsireya together. And always seeing them together, especially after you pointed it out, didn’t help. Kiri was so sure of her brothers love for you that she nearly laughed in your face once those words left your mouth. But, she too began to doubt the affections her younger brother held for you.

Kiri often spent most of her time around you, but during the times she wasn’t able to, Tuktirey had no problem keeping you company.

“No! You’re doing it wrong,” Tuk exclaimed, groaning over your lack of weaving skills.

The young girl had been attempting to teach you the new way of weaving she had learned during her time on the island. She was so excited to show you what she had learned over the months that she nearly crushed your smaller, human body in a tight hug upon hearing your agreement. The young girl profusely apologized when she heard your panicked wheeze against her collarbone, quickly getting to work after.

“I’m sorry, TukTuk. Weaving’s never really been my thing,” you apologize, gently smiling at the child next to you. She was so excited to show you how to weave the Metkayina way, her eyes practically glowed in excitement once you agreed.

“It’s not your fault, (Y/N). I struggled with it too for some time. It just takes practice,” she responded, a large gummy smile directed your way. “Plus, that just means I can make you more!” She added, trying to lift up your dampened mood.

It seemed as if everything bothered you these days. Like everything was a reminder as to why you’d never be good enough for the secondborn Omatikaya prince. A reminder of the things you couldn’t give Lo’ak. Of the things you couldn’t do to please your mate. Weaving was a huge part of the Omatikaya culture, allowing one to express their gratitude and affection towards their intended. Something that you lacked severe skill in. Sure you could make a few bracelets here and there but it was nothing compared to those of the native Omatikaya who put so much effort into their weaving, going as far as making their own unique weave pattern for their beloved. Even though you wanted to refuse Tuktirey’s plea, for it was another painful reminder that you could never have Lo’ak, you still accepted it and endured the emotional turmoil you experienced. You wouldn’t allow your own feelings to stump Tuk’s happiness and eagerness to share with you something new she learned.

“You can make me as many as you want, Tuk,” you replied, a small smile gracing your lips as you gently patted her head, ruffling her hair in the process. The young girl shrieked at your action, pushing your hand away from her freshly braided hair, giggling afterwards.

You desperately missed moments like these during your captivity. You missed playing around with the Sully children and hearing Tuk’s high pitched giggle as she ran away from your hands as you reached out to tickle her. You missed Kiri’s wise words as she spoke about whatever came to mind. You missed Lo’ak’s comforting embrace as he enveloped you into his arms whenever you needed it. You missed Neteyam’s kind nature, helping you out whenever you found yourself falling behind. You’d always miss Neteyam, his absence another reminder as to why you would never be enough for the one you loved.

A loud cough from the doorway of the marui pod broke you and Tuk out of your giggling fit, both of you whipping your heads to the figure standing in front of the opening. Your heart dropped at who was in front of you.

“Mom!” Tuktirey squealed, jumping up to her feet and towards her sa’nok.

You could tell that Neytiri wasn’t excited about your presence, her hardened glare never leaving your face even as she bent down to embrace her youngest child. Over the course of the days following Neteyam’s funeral, Neytiri was colder towards you and Spider. She rarely ever let her children see you and often fought with Jake on this matter. She always argued about the same thing. How you and Spider weren’t good for her children. How the both of you deserved to be with your people. How you bring nothing but pain to this family. That if Jake never took the both of you in, they wouldn’t be in the position. You heard most of what she was yelling about almost every night, your shared guilt with Spider growing evermore.

“I…uh…I think I should get going Tuk. I just remembered that Kiri wanted to show me around somewhere,” you awkwardly said, smiling at the young girl before quickly heading out, barely giving her enough time to say her goodbyes to you.

You sped walk out from the Sully’s pod and onto the soft sand of Awa’atlu. You knew that you were no longer welcomed in Neytiri’s presence and you respected her wishes by excusing yourself and making your way out. It was the least you could do considering all that she went through.

Hours passed by with you sitting in the same place Kiri found you days prior, just thinking. Something that you found yourself doing way too often. It was hard to get out of your head and even harder for others to help you out of it. Most days, Spider wasn’t even able to help you with your problem and he almost always was able to save you from your own mind. Today was no exception regarding getting yourself stuck in your head and going around in circles.

“(Y/N)?” A soft voice asked, effectively pulling you out from your stupor.

Your eyes shifted from where they were glued to onto the person standing next to you, making your whole body tense and stomach churn in anxiety. Tsireya.

The light blue Na’vi girl stood in front of you with a look of concern etched on her face. Her skin was covered in a thin line of droplets, a clear sign she had just came back from a swim. You wondered if she felt bad for you and approached you out of pity. If Lo’ak had told her about your past together and if she was approaching you to inform you about their new union. If she was here to tell you about what her and the other Metkayina thought of you, preparing yourself for harsh insults and words.

“Are you okay?” She asks, sitting on her knees as she leaned forward a bit, big blue eyes practically staring into your soul.

Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. You were usually very careful in how your body reacted whenever you got stuck in thought. Always giving yourself time to release the tension in your body and relax before returning back to the thought you put on pause. So you were very confused as to why Tsireya was concerned with if you were okay or not.

“You just…seemed lost in thought.” She says, hands gently folding together in her lap. “I’ve noticed that your hair,” she points to your eyebrows, “come together when you’re thinking. Lo’ak does the same thing.”.

Your heart sped up at the mention of Lo’ak’s name, only for it to drop again once you realize who’s talking to you. Keep yourself in check (Y/N), you thought to yourself, you’re in the prescence of Lo’ak’s mate. Of course she knows things like that about him. You shouldn’t act like this.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine!” You reply, a half assed smile creeping up on your lips, not quite reaching your eyes like it usually does. There was no way in hell that you’d tell Tsireya what was going on inside your head. That wasn’t a burden she needed on her shoulders.

The girl didn’t look too convinced at your response but didn’t push it further. She only nodded and continued to look at you, big eyes studying your human features. Tsireya had rarely seen you around and when she did, it was very brief before you disappeared out of sight again. So she couldn’t help but look at you as you sat there. You were very pretty, she noted. No wonder Lo’ak fell so helplessly in love with her, she thought. Your beauty was something Tsireya had never seen before.

“Tsireya!” A gruff and deep voice shouted, catching the girls attention as she turned her back towards the voice. It was her Father.

“Oh. I’m sorry (Y/N), but I have to go. I do hope you feel better soon,” she quickly said before walking away, her tail swinging gently from side to side as she strides away.

The whole encounter you had with the girl made you even more confused and sad. She was so nice to you. She gave you no reason to hate her. But you couldn’t help but feel it as she left you there, longing for the life you could never have.

———

“You’re being so sulky,” Spider murmured, arms crossed as he watched you stare at your food in front of you.

Norm and Max had cooked dinner nearly two hours ago and you were the only one who hadn’t finished your plate. You didn’t have much of an appetite these days either. You were too occupied with thinking or trying to avoid Lo’ak at all costs to properly eat. You knew it wasn’t something you should be doing but you found yourself doing it anyway.

“You haven’t even talked to him! You don’t know if it’s true or not,” he continued, sick of seeing both you and Lo’ak moping around and avoiding each other at every turn. He’s told the both of you multiple times to just talk about it but the both of you were too stubborn for your own good.

You ignored Spider’s comment, rolling your eyes at the boy besides you. You really didn’t need him meddling in your business.

Your silence was Spider’s last straw as he slammed his hands against the metal table, surprising you and making you jump back at the action. Your plate shifted and jumped in its place, the fork clattering onto the floor.

“Fine. If neither of you want to talk this out on your own, then I’ll do it for you,” he exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and hauling you up from yours by your arm.

“Are you fucking crazy?” You screamed, trying to pry Spider’s fingers off of your bicep.

He only scoffed at your response and shook his head, leading you to the entrance of the lab that sat in the secluded parts of the island, tossing you a mask before shoving you out of the metal lab and out into the Pandora air.

Shortly after the events with Quaritch and the tulkun hunters, Norm and Max had decided that it would be best if they put one of their smaller labs on Awa’atlu for the two of you. It was definitely smaller than the lab you lived in at High Camp, but you didn’t complain. At least you had somewhere to go and hide whenever you didn’t want to see Lo’ak that particular day.

“You fucker!” You shouted, banging the flat of your palm up against the glass of the door. Spider only ignored your calls from the inside, eating your untouched food. You groaned in frustration as you watched the boy simply devour your cold food.

Rustling of leaves were heard from your right, making your heart stop in its confines in anxiety. Your breath hitched in your throat as you slowly turned your head to see who or what caused the noise, especially this late at night. Your stomach dropped to the floor once you saw those familiar amber eyes peek out from behind a shrub.

“Lo’ak?” You whispered, not trusting your voice at the moment.

Upon hearing your voice, the culprit perked up, completely revealing themselves to you.

“Yawne?” He asked, unsure if he should move closer to you or stay where he was. Lo’ak had been craving to be in your presence ever since his brothers funeral. He only wanted you in his arms again and even though he had you back, he didn’t completely have you.

The two of you stood there, in front of each other for a while, neither of you daring to move closer or speak up first.

It was strange to see you after not having seen you for months. You looked the same but didn’t at the same time. Lo’ak didn’t know how he didn’t notice the first time he saw you on that ship. You looked more mature. Like you had seen or experienced something you shouldn’t have.

“How are you?” Lo’ak asks, finally breaking the awkward silence between the two of you.

You internally scoffed at that question, shaking your head as you did so. Yeah, I’m totally fine. Leaving me with your dead brother for hours didn’t do anything to me at all.

“Fine,” you answer, beginning to try to open the lab door with all your might, shaking the lock. Spider must’ve locked it from the inside or something, you thought, promising yourself that you would choke the boy out once you got back into the lab.

Lo’ak flinched at your rough voice and repetitive shaking of the door, ears drawing downwards as he watched. He’s never seen you act so violent before. Never seen you so desperate to get back into the lab. Usually, back in the forest, you’d do anything and everything to stay out of the lab for as long as you could. So to see you act the opposite made Lo’ak frown, especially since it was because he was out with you.

“Yawne,” Lo’ak tried again, taking a step closer to you before quickly drawing back as you scowled at him to stay where he was. “What is wrong? Talk to me, please,” the boy pleaded, tail falling limp between his legs.

“I told you. Nothing. Nothing is wrong,” you replied, eyes never leaving the stupid handle of the door you were trying to pry open.

Lo’ak knew you were lying. Something was most definitely wrong. He could see it in your eyes. How badly you wanted to share whatever was bothering you but something withheld you from uttering the words. It made him ever the more desperate to get you to talk to him.

The boy knew that showing up at the lab unannounced wasn’t going to get you to talk to him, especially since he too was also ignoring your existence. That he’d have to try harder in order to get you to speak with him.

“Yawne –”.

“Stop! Stop calling me that! I am not your yawne!” You shouted, ceasing your prying of the locked metal door. Hearing that term come out of his mouth made you want to cry. It made you want to scream, kick, and hit him for calling you that when you knew that he called another it. He had Tsireya to be his yawne. That was no longer a title you held.

Confusion and hurt spread itself across Lo’ak’s face, brows furrowing together in confusion. What did you mean? Why were you no longer his beloved?

“Why? Why not?” He shouted back, anger quickly arising within the teen boy. “What have I done to make you angry with me?” He asked, ears drawing further downward and pressing harder against the side of his skull.

You wanted to pull at your hair in frustration and anger. You just wanted to go inside and pass out before having to face the Sully family again. You wanted Lo’ak to leave you alone in your heartbreak. To stop haunting your dreams. To stop reminding you of the life you longed to have with him.

“Nothing and everything, Lo’ak!” You screamed, finally fed up, “You have done nothing and yet have done everything to upset me. First, you leave me with Neteyam for hours. You left me alone with the body of someone who I loved. You left me alone in my grieving. I had to wash away the blood and grime from his body as you did what? Fight Quaritch? Get Spider nearly killed? Then…then you touched her so lovingly. So gently. When you barely even spared me a glance. You comforted her and hugged her so tight to yourself that I couldn’t tell where you started and she ended.”.

“I only wanted you to comfort me. To hold me as I cried. But you were too busy with her. And I understand, Lo’ak. I do. As much as it pains me to realize and say it. I know that you and Tsireya are together, a thing. It’s as obvious as the mask that I need. And it’s okay. Really. I knew that whatever this was, it wasn’t going to last. I am human and you deserve so much more than what I can give you. I cannot give you children, make the bond with you, or even be properly considered one of the People. You deserve someone who could give you that. Give you everything and more. I mean, Tsireya is Tsakarem for crying out loud! She is much more suited to be your mate than I am, Lo’ak.”.

By the time you were finished with your speech, your chest was rising up and down dramatically, trying to gulp down air as quickly as the mask would let you. You knew that once you expressed your feelings and how you felt, it would change everything. So in order to ignore Lo’ak’s intense gaze and to prevent yourself from succumbing to the need to cry, you began your attempts at trying to open up the locked door or at least trying to get someone’s attention so they’d save you.

Your hands began to hit the door again, switching to messing with the door handle after a couple of beats pass with no one coming to your rescue.

“I confessed.” Lo’ak blurted out, desperation covered his face. His ears were fully up in alert, twitching at the sound of your hands stopping against the hard metal of the lab.

You stopped your movements, standing on the stairs of the lab in shock, trying to process the words that just came out of the boy's mouth. Confessed? What did he mean by confessed?

He needed you to know that what you were saying wasn’t true. That he wasn’t seeing Tsireya and that he’ll never see her in that light as he sees you. That his heart only held love for you and no one else. That your entire being consumed him heart, body, and soul.

“I told my Mother about us. About our relationship. About how much I love you. About how much I adore and see you. About that night at the Tree of Souls. I told her everything,” he rambled, tears clinging to his waterline as he tried to hurriedly blink them away. “She wasn’t happy about it, obviously. But, I didn’t care. I still don’t. Tsireya and I have never and will never be a thing. My heart only beats for you. My lungs only breathe for you. My body and soul only long for you. Everything is only ever for you, ma yawne. I hold so much love for you that it hurts. Did you know that the afternoon I heard of a young boy and girl being held captive at the Ta’unui clan, I almost immediately took off on my ilu to get you back? That I fought with my Sa’nok over you? That’s when I told her. Everyone heard and I don’t care that they did. I would scream out my love for you on the highest floating mountain if you asked me to. I’d do anything for you, (Y/N). Please, please believe that.”.

Lo’ak took in deep breaths once he finished his speech, desperately trying to fill his lungs with air after depriving them of it. He hoped that what he said was enough to get you to see how he felt about you, how he still felt about you. And if you didn’t, then he’d try again and again and again until he ran out of air to breathe. He needed you in his life. He didn’t care that you couldn’t bare him children or make tshaleyu with him. All he needed was you and that would be enough for all of his lifetimes.

“Lo’ak,” you croaked out, hot tears running down your cheeks and gathering at the bottom of your mask. You had no idea that he felt that strongly for you. Sure he mentioned some things from time to time but he never seemed this serious about it. You could feel the emotions of his words as they hit you square in the face.

“I don’t care if you can’t carry my children or that you can’t make the bond with me. I don’t. I only care that you’re in my life and that you love me just as much. You have been such a big part of my life for so long that I can’t imagine you not in it. Nga yawne lu oer,” Lo’ak finally finishes, kneeling on his two knees to get to your height, gently taking your softer hands in his rougher one’s.

All of the doubts you had about yourself and the relationship you had with the boy in front of you vanished the moment he touched you. Like everything else disappeared and it was only you two in the world.

“I am so sorry if it seemed like I had any interest in Tsireya, my love,” Lo’ak whispered, bringing your hands up to his lips as he pecked them with a kiss, “To be honest, I thought Spider and you were a thing as well.”.

At his confession, you bursted out laughing, not being able to hold in your reaction to the ridiculous thought.

“I know, I know,” Lo’ak tsked, shaking his head, “I had asked Spider about it and he had the same exact reaction. He wouldn’t shut up about it either, telling me how ridiculous I was for thinking such a thing. As well as how much of an idiot I was too.”.

“Well,” you hummed, taking your hands out of your boyfriends and placed them onto his blue cheeks, “I guess we’re both idiots then.”.

Lo’ak chuckled at your response, shaking his head as he finally brought you into his arms, immediately burying his head into the crook of your neck as he got a sniff of your dearly missed scent. Your arms wrapped themselves around his neck as he held you close, almost completely enveloping you in his body.

“I’m sorry for assuming,” you speak up, fingers running through Lo’ak’s braids. You felt bad for immediately assuming Lo’ak would move on that fast and get with Tsireya. You knew it wasn’t something he’d do but your overwhelming insecurities took over.

The Na’vi boy only hums, burying his head farther into your neck. “It’s okay,” he said, “I did the same. Nothing to stress about now. I got you back and that’s all that matters”.

The two of you sat there for what felt like only minutes but was hours in reality. The sun had begun to poke through the horizon, sunrise vastly approaching.

“Wanna go inside? We could spend the morning sleeping and cuddling if you want,” you suggest, eyelids getting droopy as your lack of last nights sleep began to catch up with you. You shifted your head so it laid on Lo’ak’s shoulder, yawning as you did so.

Your lover only nodded in agreement, delicately moving into the small lab and removing your mask from your face, placing a kiss on your forehead as you began to snore in Lo’ak’s arms. He smiled down at you before making his way to your established room, content with how the night turned out.

As he gently laid you in the soft bed and tucked the both of you in, he knew that he’d gladly spend the rest of his life with you so as long as you pleased. That there was no one else but you that he truly saw himself with. The teen would do anything for you, no matter what it entailed.

Avatar Scenarios | Finding out you had been sexually assaulted multiple times and used as a toy.

How I imagine avatar characters reacting to finding out you (a human that later was experimented on, giving you the ability to breathe Pandora’s air without a mask.) had been sexually assaulted multiple times and used as a toy by men that were supposed to protect and cherish you but didn’t (back on earth).

Jake Sully (he cares for you as a father)

He finally had had enough of you jumping and cowering every time he so much raised his hand or making abrupt movements

So he finally gets you alone with him and Neytiri (her reaction provided in the next one), and begs you to tell him why you are so freaking scared of him

Breath is literally knocked out of him when you finally tell him without revealing as much details as you can

Cannot hold himself still after and has to leave, his chest and whole body aching at the knowledge of what you had endured

Makes sure he is never alone with you or gives you plenty of space if he is after the conversation

Cannot keep the sadness and hurt hidden when he looks at you

Becomes absolutely feral when one of your abusers show up and would have beaten him up if he hadn’t have had to keep Neytiri from killing him

Later, when after time you began to trust him and his touch, he will touch your head, pat your hair, or tap on your shoulders

He never ever gives you a full embrace, if he does (which is rare), it is very loose and gentle

He shows you his care in other ways

Neytiri (she sort of dislikes you, but after hearing how those skypeople made your life hell, she becomes much kinder and grows to love you dearly as one of her own)

Does not understand how the skypeople could be so cruel to their own flesh and blood

Understands the gist of your story, but later has to have Jake explain it more fully

When he does, her hatred for the humans intensifies

Initially, her reaction is more calmer, but not less than deadly

She pushes her rage down and focuses on comforting you (you allow her, Kiri, and Tuk to hug and touch you)

Almost kills one of your abusers who shows up later, only fails because Jake held her back

Always scowls at any males who show any sign of interest in you

Is actually more scarier than Jake when it comes to males

Provides lots of soft motherly touches on your head and shoulders, but like Jake is extremely cautious when it comes to hugging you

Neyteyam (love interest)

Does not give a reaction, the only sign of your story bugging you is the flattening of his ears and the clenching of his jaws

Afterwards, he always makes sure you are never alone

Will give serious side eye first, then hiss, then fight to keep other males away if you start to feel uncomfortable

Gets into violent brawls when males invade your space against your will

Was the one who got you away from your abuser and stayed with you while the chaos went on

He is extra gentle, kind, and soft when he is around you

Is in a quandary because he loves you so much, but he can’t touch you

He begins to show his affection through his actions and looks

He helps you with lifting and carrying things, brings lots of gifts like flowers or fruits, perhaps little trinkets he himself makes

When you were finally comfortable enough to be alone with him, he took you to places and exploring

It was actually when you couldn’t walk or climb or jump that you allowed him to carry you

He carried you piggy-back style, and at your consent kept a firm but gentle hold on your thighs

You begin to fall in love with his gentleness and patience and let him slowly advance

He begins with soft, brief touches on your hair, head, legs, etc with soft words of praise and encouragement

Then his touches linger longer and become more bolder, but always going at your pace

The process is long and slow, but you fall in love deeper and deeper as Neteyam continues to show patience, gentleness, and consistency

Lo’ak (he sees and loves you as a brother)

When he finds out, his eyes widen in shock and rage

Very vocally expressive about his fury

Becomes protective of you like his brother

If he’s there, he will join his brother in those brawls and fights

Is endearingly awkward around you if the two of you happen to be alone

He shows his love by bringing you stories and news he hears from throughout his day

Tells you jokes and puns, anything to see you laugh or smile

Keeps tabs on you if Neyteyam and his parents can’t

Watched sardonically at the situation when Jake held Neytiri back from outright killing one of the abusers

In the end, he got so used to making sure he didn’t touch you or anything, he never really showed affection physically, the most was your signature fistbump-handshake

That's all for now, really all that I've thought about, tbh.

I take requests too, so let me know!

Mr and Mrs Liars Chapter 28

Chapter 27 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   *MC POV*  I feel like I can breathe better, although my chest still hurts from breathing in so much smoke. Phil, Jessy, Dan and Cleo join me in the room. From what I know, Jake's old team called Phil and he told the group so I wouldn't feel alone. He left me with them while he went to talk to the doctor about my situation. Luckily I had no serious injuries, I just needed to recover and clear the air from my lungs.     “You're going to beat my hospital record.” Dan laughs, trying to cheer me up.     "Don't make me laugh, my chest still hurts." I avoid laughing, but little laughs escape me. “Ugh… I have a headache from all the stress…”     "Do you want me to call the doctor to see if he can give you something?" Cleo asks me, worried.     "No, I'm fine." I keep my head from bobbing around the tubes too much when I look at Jessy. "Do you know how Jake and Charlotte are doing?"     "From what I know, the police were watching Charlotte's room, as was Mr. Schneider," she replies a little sadly “she's still in a coma and Jake…"     "Jake what, Jessy? Please tell me he's okay!" I start to get nervous at the thought that he died, I don't know how serious the shot he received was.     "Luckily the gunshot wound wasn't serious, so he only has stitches" Jessy gives me a small, friendly smile ", he's also on oxygen, but he'll recover. Right now he was with his family and with Thomas. "     "Thank God…" I put a hand to my head, trying to relax.      I'm relieved he’s not alone. So his family… That means his father is in the hospital. I'm sure he has a lot of questions about what happened.     "I never should have brought him into this... "     “He decided to jump in, boo” Dan carefully pats my shoulder “and let's face it, that guy's got some shit on for a cop.     "A cop who's a criminal." Cleo corrects him.     "And with years of experience, he could have killed him."     "Luckily it didn't," Jessy sighs. "I still can't believe that all of this happened to Aleena… It's so sad…"     "But don't forget that she was going to kill MC." Dan crosses his arms, annoyed. "One thing is her to take down on those two cops, but MC didn't do anything to deserve it."     "Yes, that's right." Jessy looks at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry MC, I guess, I can't help but think that those two men did terrible things to her, I still don't know why to take revenge on your father through you."     "Because it's not okay," I answered, being a bit harsh, "I can understand that, but I was never a threat to her."     "Well, the police will take care of her anyway." Cleo sits down on the couch, and the rest of her follow suit. Looks like they're going to stay a while longer to keep me company. That relieves me, I don't feel like being alone. "She will surely accept all the blame, the problem is Manfred, he will want to deny everything saying that it is manipulation."     "But Jake isn't going to let him," I squeeze the covers tightly "he has all the evidence and I can finally talk about everything we investigated. We won't let anyone get away with it."       At least I’m thankful that this is over. I can forget about this case forever.     <<We did it dad, I hope you feel proud of me. >> My phone rings and Jessy hands it to me. I'm surprised to see the name.I take a breath, a little nervous. He must have found out on the news. I must have worried him, perhaps.     "Long time no talk to you." I answer the call with a small smile, a little awkward. *Jake POV*  I woken up in the hospital room, with Hannah, Thomas, Nathan, and his wife. Never before have I seen so many people occupying the same space for me, to know if I'm okay.     "And MC?" It's the first thing I ask when I wake up, worried about her. "Where is she? Is she okay?" I get up so fast I get dizzy.      "Calm down, Jake," Nathan stops me, careful not to hurt me "your friend is fine, you've done a great job helping her, I'm proud of you."      A strange feeling runs through my body hearing those words. I want to hide my happiness that this man, who is my father, is proud of me. But I smile hearing that MC is fine. I can't help but do it. I dropped my head back on the pillow, relieved.     “So…” Thomas begins to speak, “you've confronted a policeman.”     “Old ways never go away.” I commented, forgetting that Hannah and Lilly's parents are in the room.     " 'The old ways'?" Mrs. Donfort asks curiously. I don't blame her.     “Mom, Dad, we'll tell you about it another time,” Hannah says, brushing my hair back lovingly, like a mother “we better let him rest for now.”      The door opens and Lilly walks in, her eyes worried.     “There's a woman here asking about Jake,” she says nervously. ”Oh, he's already awake.”     "A woman?" I ask curiously.     "Are you ever going to be still, Jake?" Mathilde walks into the room, arms folded.      She has invited herself in, furious footsteps. I don't think a scolding from my boss now is the best time.     "And you are?" Mr. Donfort looks at her somewhat confused.     “I'm this man's boss,” she waves at me furiously, “and you could say a mother figure.”     "Don't make me laugh," I replied, with a laugh. What I had to hear as soon as I woke up from almost suffocating to death.      Mathilde surprises me by hugging me. I don't think she's ever hugged someone so hard before. She quickly pulls away, pulling herself together.     "Good," she coughs as she straightens her jacket and hair. "First of all, what you have been doing has been without permission, you cannot carry out investigations illegally."     "But I'd do it again for her." I replied, giving her a hard look.     "I know, and that's what bothers me the most."      They all look at Mathilde, quite concerned.Well, my job at the CIA is over, they will surely hand me over to the police or worse: to the FBI. I'm sure they're rubbing their hands that I finally let them stop me.     “And second of all,” she sighs heavily, though pride is evident in her voice “I've assigned you to a research investigations. It's better than security. "     "What?" confused blink, I am sure the oxygen tank isn't working right?     "What you have done has been illegal, yes" she joins her hands placing them in front of her, she looks like a teacher scolding a student now ", but, you have managed to catch an abusive policeman and a murderous politician thanks to your investigations, I would be stupid if I didn't give you a position in which you collaborate with our best agents."      Everyone starts congratulating me. I don't feel honored in this position, it's all been thanks to MC, she's the one who deserves all the credit, I've only helped her.     "I don't think that-"     "Jake Miller," Mathilde cuts me off "if you're going to name that girl, please leave it." I'm surprised that she guessed what I was thinking. "I know you well. But she doesn't work with us, I can't give her that position. "     "Yes, I can't deny that..."     "So…" she looks at everyone present and offers her hand "Have a nice day everyone."     “Yeah, sure,” Nathan is the first to accept her hand “and thank you so much for taking care of my son all these years."      Mathilde looks at me and smiles.     “He may be a little rebellious about doing things his way,” she says with a sigh “but he's always done it for the good of the people."      Mathilde's words make me feel important. I can't wait to tell MC about it. I can’t wait to see her. When I am finally alone, I ask someone from nursing if I can get up to go see MC. After checking my vital signs, they decide that I can get up without any problem, but that I should come back as soon as possible if I feel dizzy, since I could still be affected by the smoke. I arrive at MC's door just at the same time as Phil. His look says it all, it's like the first meeting.     "Hey..." he nods in greeting "how are you?"     "Better," I answer and looked at the door "I was going to talk to MC-"     "No," I look at him when I hear that not so fast "I'm not going to let you see her."     "I think you shouldn't decide for her, don't you?"      He chuckles, pinching the bridge of his nose.     "Look, I don't want to fight with you right now," he answers, while he crosses his arms. "MC wouldn't be like this if you hadn't brought her into this."     "I just helped her."     "Yes, and look where she is now," he points to the room, furious, "whenever it's about you, she ends up in a dangerous situation: accusation of kidnapping, threats, that your own persecutors try to hack her, that a kidnapper wanted to lure her to possible death. Ever since you brought her into your life, she's had nothing but problems."     "Well, it's thanks to me that you've met her." I assert myself, clenching my fists tightly.     "And I appreciate it, but look at the one your crazy girlfriend has messed up." He places a finger on my chest, beginning to pinching me. "I want you to get away from her, to stop putting her in danger, because then, I don't think I'll be able to control myself and it might be more than a punch that I throws at you. "     "Are you threatening me?"     "It's not a threat, it's a warning." He places his hand on the doorknob, his eyes glare at me. "I don't want the next time she's with you to be killed for real."      He enters the room and I stay in the corridor thinking about his words.  Maybe... Maybe he's right and I'm the cause of him always being in danger. Maybe it's because I'm used to living that way. She does not. MC is not someone who should be put into these risks, I should have been more careful with her so that nothing bad happened to her. I was hoping to get back together with her, but if something dangerous is always going to happen every time we're together, then I'll take this bad luck away from her. She deserves to have a normal life. *MC POV*  Every time I look in the mirror, I remember all the things that have happened. This past month has been such a roller coaster of emotions that I absolutely can't shake myself off. I no longer feel that my home is my home. It's like I feel empty.Phil takes good care of me, I can't deny that, he cares about me after I get out of the hospital much more than when I got shot. The situation this time worried him more than before and I cannot deny that.  I've been trying to contact Jake, but he's not responding to my messages. I send him the last message and what I see on the screen surprises me. He has blocked me, why has he done it? What has happened? I thought that we were fine after what happened in that building, that we had to talk. I can't hear my friends conversation, I'm just lost in my thoughts. I miss Jake and haven't told Phil the truth yet, because I wanted to make sure Jake and I could talk about it together first.     "MC?" Hearing Hannah's voice, I wake up from my thoughts "are you okay? "     "Yes, I'm fine" I smile, trying to calm the atmosphere ", sorry, with everything that's happened I'm a little distracted. "     "Are you sure that's it?" Thomas asks me now "I don't know, we've all noticed that you're not well."     "If you need to talk about it, you know you can." Cleo tells me now, putting a hand on my shoulder.     "We're with you if you need it." Lilly smiles at me, taking my hands.      It's still amazing how she's changed everything between us, she's truly like a little sister to me. The one who is quiet is Jessy, who seems to be in the same state as me. She seems to want to say something, though she shuts up. I wish she did, I'm sure she knows something. I've seen this attitude before.     "Thank you all, but I'm fine," I answered, taking a sip of my coffee "I just have to go back to my normal life after being interrogated day and night." I give them a tired sigh. I haven't even been able to work because of that, but more than one already wants to interview me to get information. On the way home, I get a call from Dan.     "Yes, Jack Daniels?" I greeted him with a smile. A pity he couldn't come with us because of work.     "Hey little detective," he greets me affectionately "I hope you're not busy, but talking to Jessy on the phone now, she wants the three of us to meet up."     "The three of us? Something has happened?"     "You want the bad news over the phone?"     "To be honest, no, that never works out."      I hear Dan's laugh. Surely he has remembered the past.     "Then we'll meet at Jessy's house and… Don't be mad at her, it's my fault too."     "Are you going to tell me that you two are dating?"     "I wish," he makes an exaggerated snort. "See you there. Bye."     "See you later, Dan."      I don't know why, but it gives me a very strange feeling... Jessy's house was always a cozy house. I had slept a few nights there before I started dating Phil, it was so much better than staying in a motel with so many memories. Jessy and Dan are sitting across from me. I'm just trying to figure out what they're hiding by looking at them. I quit right away because I'm too tired to do it, I deserve a break.     "Well, what's going on?" I ask with a laugh "Are you sure it's not that you've started dating?"      Jessy and Dan look at each other, but from their looks it seems something more serious.     “It's about a conversation we overheard at the hospital, when we went to get coffee,” Dan begins, as if not to make it more difficult for Jessy "It's about Jake and Phil."      When I hear Jake's name, my alarm goes off. I worry that they have quarreled again.     "When we got back, we eavesdropped on the conversation," Jessy answers, with a sad voice, "I know it's wrong, but..."     “It's okay, Jessy,” I reply, my voice calm “you can tell me."      Jessy takes a breath, and tries to calm down.     “We heard Phil tell him to stay away from you."     "What?"     “Apparently our bar owner thinks everything that happened is Jake's fault,” Dan continues. "He has forbidden him to see you, which implies that they are not friends at all. Zero contact. Negative."     "Yes, Dan, she's got it perfectly." Jessy looks at him somewhat annoyed with her words, but he doesn't offend me. "I didn't think Phil would be one of those, I mean, he's not jealous, we've all seen that, but he even threatened to beat him up. "     “Not in those exact words, but almost.” Dan corrects.     "MC, these days you've been very strange and... Now I understand" my friend looks at me almost about to cry. The one who should cry is me, not her "I'm sorry I pushed you so much with Phil and your wedding, when in reality I've seen that you're not the same if you're not with Jake. I miss my happy friend, the one who always smiled because she knew she was complete with him."     "Oh Jessy…" I start to cry and hug her. Her words encourage me a lot. She was always saying that when I married Phil, we'd be like sisters, but actually I don't have to marry her brother to be sister. "I love you so much sister," I say with a smile "thank you so much for telling me."     "Oh, what the hell?" Dan says before giving us a big hug.      We laugh at the situation and we both give Dan a kiss on the cheeks. Our great protector. When we part ways, I manage to calm down a bit.     "Time to talk to Phil," I replied, looking at my ring. "I can't keep fooling myself like this."     "You can stay here to sleep later," Jessy proposes "at least while you move, I doubt you'll stay living in that house."     “And if you need help with the boxes, let me know.” Dan makes a forceful gesture and I laugh.     "Sure, thanks guys."      I say goodbye to both of them and leave the house, straight to Bar Aurora. It's time to end this. When I walk in, I find Phil clearing the tables. Seeing me, he smiles.     "Hello Princess." he puts down the cloth and approaches me to kiss me.      I turn my face away and see how he is surprised. I look at him quite annoyed.     "What happen? Is everything alright?      I swallow, trying to control myself. I don't want to have to yell at him.     "Did you tell Jake to stay away from me?"     "Come on MC, what are you asking-"     "Did you tell him or not?"      Phil lets out a big sigh, putting his arms on his hips.He doesn't dare look at me because he knows I would guess.     "You had no right to tell him that."     "Because of him you are always suffering" he counterattacks me "Look what has happened to you! Whenever he's around, bad things happen to you."     "My God, is that your excuse?" I reproach him, trying to make him look at me "Is Jake a guy who can put me in danger?"     "It's been like that since he came into your life."     "And what if that's it?!" I can't control myself, I need to scream "You can't decide for us if we see each other or not! You know perfectly well that you have no right to do so!"     "I have the right to do it because I'm your fiance!"      I stare at him, surprised. It was like feeling in a little box at that moment. And I wasn't going to let that happen.     "MC, I'm sorry." He grabs my hands realizing his mistake, but I push them away. "I did not mean that."     "But you said it." I bite the inside of my cheek, controlling myself. "You have never been jealous with anyone. Never." I shake my head, confused. "Jake arrives and everything seems to be wrong."     "Because everything would go wrong with him." He places his hands on my cheeks, caressing them. "MC, you have already seen that with me you can have a normal life, friends, family… You would be safe, you wouldn’t have to be in danger all the time."      I keep looking at him. Yes, it is true that several things happen around Jake, it is always like that...     "I know..." I answer with a little sadness "You're right... With Jake things are always difficult..." I look down, somewhat disappointed.     "Then let's not fight, okay?" He smiles sweetly at me, making me look at his face. "What do you say we have dinner at the Black Swan to fix it?" We deserve a good time alone."      I look at his eyes and then at the ring. I start thinking about his words. This is the moment of decision. And I already have it very clear. *Jake POV*  It had been a stressful month. I had to declare everything that had happened, along with the support of Mathilde and Malcolm, doing everything possible to avoid being arrested for getting into a computer belonging to a police chief who, no matter how much he committed a crime, I too had committed another: I did not have judicial permission to do so.  Luckily, my new position had saved me and Mathilde had lied to say that it was something ordered by the CIA. I already owe too much to that woman.  I haven't been to Duskwood for a month either, letting my family come into town to see me. They found out about everything and well… At first it was a bit tense, but when they found out that I was the one who put all those criminals in jail, the tension lessened a bit. Although I have promised not to do it illegally again this time.  I have also decided to lose all contact with MC. And this time forever.  I watch the sunset on the roof. I can't be on that apartment so quiet. It's too much for just one. At first I thought it would be perfect for MC and me. Now I just want to move from here to a smaller one. That way I wouldn't lose Gizmo everywhere.I take MC's mother's wedding ring out of my pants pocket. I was never able to gove it back. I'll have to give it to my sisters so they can give her back too. I hear Gizmo meow desperately. I have brought him up with me so that he can get some fresh air.     "What's up boy?" I ask, turning to him.      When I turn around, I see MC in front of me. She raises a hand in greeting, shyly.     "I think I'm the cause," she answers, with a small voice. "Hello."      I pocket the ring, nervous.     "Hello," I replied, scratching the back of my neck. "A lot of time has passed…"     "Yeah..."      She doesn't come closer, she keeps her distance. This is getting a bit awkward.     "I had gone to your apartment, but you didn't answer," she says, pointing to the door to the roof. "So I figured you'd be here."     "I could have gone."     "Yes, I know."      She gets a little closer.I look at her from top to bottom. It seems different.That's when I see that she doesn't have the engagement ring.     "Everything okay with Phil?" I ask curious.     "You mean the ring?" She asks me now, looking at her hand "He… We've broke up… Well, I've broke up with him."     "And what are you doing here?"     "I was going to go to Lian's and her husband's house so they would let me live with them for a while until I found an apartment."     "Aren't you staying in Duskwood?"     "No, I think I'll avoid it for a while." She comes up next to me, leaning against the ledge. "Too much tension."     "I see."      We stayed in silence looking at the city. The lights begin to set and the sky to darken. I dedicate myself to observe her side face. Her smile doesn't fade. I reached into my pocket, pulling out her mother's ring. I look at it for a few seconds before handing it to her.     "Here," MC looks at me and then at the ring, picking it up carefully. "I picked it up when we went to the warehouse.”     "Thank you," she looks at it, turning it over, and puts it on, looking at her hand to see how it fits her "you know? Canceling a wedding costs the same as making one.” She lets out a long breath, ending up resting her head on my shoulder. "My advice is never get married."     "Or maybe not getting to marry the wrong person. Oh!" She pinches my arm and I laugh at her. "You know I'm right.”     "Maybe yes…"      Finally the silence stops being uncomfortable. The heat that MC emanates begins to cover my entire body. It's nice to have her here with me. I didn't expect to see her again.     "Why don't you spend the night here?" I suggest and she looks at me "You still have your room and… I haven't moved the clothes from the closet, tomorrow you can go to your friend's house."     "Yeah, okay, I can stay tonight."     "Great..."     <<Come on Jake… Tell her. >>     "MC-"     "Jake-"   We remain silent, looking at each other.I took the hand where the ring was and traced the route with my finger. It fits her perfectly, almost like it was made for her too.   "I don't just want you to stay tonight," I finally dare to say it, looking into her eyes. The city lights are reflected in them "I want you to stay forever."    "Jake-"     "MC, I love you" I caress her cheek and she leans on my hand, tilting her head, smiling "and the thought that I could lose you that night made my life stop. I don't want to know what life is like without you, it's not in my plans."     "And what are your plans?"     "Continue where we left off."     "Mmm... No." I look at her surprised at my refusal and she laughs. "We don't have to continue something that was never left."     "I think that it was left and a lot."     "No-"     "You were going to get married"     "Well, it's a little pause-"     "A big one-"     "Just kiss me."      I accept her request and kiss her. MC puts her arms around my neck, trying to catch up with me. Her lips fit perfectly with mine, as if they had always been mine. I move my hand up her back until I place it behind her neck, deeper into her kiss. I missed kissing her. I had been wanting to do it since we met again. It's slow, causing me to start to get hot. As we pull apart, I hear her let out a moan. In her eyes I could see that she still wanted more. I missed that look of hers. She is perfect.     “I love you Jake,” she says, between each breath. ”I have always loved you.”     "I know." she lets out a laugh and buries her face in my body "Shall we go inside?"     “Sure.”      I take her hand and signal to Gizmo to leave. He follows us starting to meow.     "Know what Jake?" I notice her playful voice, happy.     ”What's the matter?”     "I don't think I'm going to need my room tonight...”     "I don't think so either." That night was the longest night of our lives. It was the night that we made up for all the lost time and in which I recovered the reason why I believed in being happy again. We became one again. Epilogue

about nick clark and troy otto

just to get this clear, i love troy and i love nick. i love them both individually but i also love them together and i love this really weird thing that they have going on between them. be it a friendship or whatever, i love it. they had so much potential together and i still can't believe they killed troy just like that.

in the beginning they disliked each other. nick may have even hated troy because of what he did to luciana and that's okay, he had every right to. i think troy disliked nick because he wasn't with his family and for troy the ranch and his family were everything for him. so the thought that nick had left his family on his own volition was very alien to troy. it's not something he would've ever done so he judged and disliked nick because of it and didn't want him on the ranch.

but even though nick heavily disliked troy, he didn't kill him. he had two chances to do so and in the second situation he could've actually gotten away with it but he still didn't kill troy. and troy wasn't even mad at nick for threatening him. he just took it in stride like it was a normal tuesday, he even encouraged nick to do it and later on said that they now could be friends after nick destroyed his notebook. i think that was some kind of turning point for both of them but more so for troy. he didn't necessarily start to like nick after that but his opinion about him wasn't as negative as it was before. nick on the other hand started to tolerate troy a little more after that. he still probably disliked him and thought he was rather dangerous but he wasn't as averse to him as before.

then luciana left and nick stayed. shortly afterwards nick and troy have this little talk down in the pantry and troy tells nick "it's just good you didn't take off after her", and i really loved it when he said that. i think he was being genuine and it shows that he has come to accept nick as part of the community. he doesn't necessarily like him but he accepts him. nick on the other hand is still a little defensive and wary of troy. it shows at the end of the episode when madison tells everyone that walker killed the trimbols and nick confronts her afterwards and tells her not to forget what troy is.

in the next episode while alicia is with walker, nick joins the militia. troy asks nick if he's got permission from madison which shows that he still doesn't really like nick. he accepts him but doesn't seem to want to be around him more than he has to. nick later tells madison that part of the reason he joined the militia is to keep troy, an enemy, close, although madison doesn't completely believe him. later in the episode comes one of my favourite scenes when troy asks nick "you feeling blue, nicky?", he then tells nick to "go kamikaze another day", which to me shows that he genuinely doesn't want nick dead. i don't particularly know why he didn't want nick to die at that moment but i don't think it was for madison's sake as he couldn't have cared less for nick at the beginning even though he is madison's son, whom he seemed to like almost instantly.

nick and troy are now in the militia together and do some bonding, like the poet talk or when they share their experiences and feelings about their father's deaths. around that time somewhere was a turning point for nick when he realized that he didn't actually want troy to die or maybe started caring for him in some capacity. he actually contemplated telling troy that he was the one that killed jeremiah even though madison thinks that troy would kill him for that but nick's not so sure. then comes the highlight of the episode when troy refuses to give up his weapons and nick actually stays back with him. he could've gone out with the others but he stays inside with troy because he wants to. he chooses to do so. because he knows troy, he knows that this will end bloody but he doesn't want that, he doesn't want troy to die. he himself even almost dies because of it when crazy dog gets the drop on him but troy is there and saves him although he gets hurt in the process. he doesn't want nick to die either which we already saw as he didn't want to shoot nick when he was standing between him and the rest and asked him to get out of the way. although troy doesn't want nick dead he still doesn't seem to have realized that nick cares about him as he asks nick why he would care what happens to him. furthermore it comes as a surprise to troy that nick stays with him and he tells him as much but also thanks him for keeping him company. nick then tries everything to get troy to back off, he even tells troy that he doesn't want him to die but troy doesn't listen. only when he confesses that jeremiah didn't commit suicide but that he actually killed him troy finally backs off. and he doesn't seem to be angry at nick.

i think that for troy the thought that his dad would commit suicide and leave them all behind was unbearable. he just couldn't accept it and that's why hearing nick's confession was such a relief for him and made him stop. doesn't matter that nick killed him because he at least didn't kill himself as that's not something that jeremiah would ever do and it's also not something that troy can live with.

now that troy knows that nick killed jeremiah i think he starts to see him in a new light. he later accuses madison for not being the one to kill his father but to let her son do the job and feels like she wronged him somehow by not killing his father. he thought she was like him but now he's not so sure about her anymore and seems to divert his attention even more towards nick. also something worth mentioning is that other than at the beginning troy never tried to kill nick again while he did contemplate killing madison after her cruel words about his mother.

up next comes something that i really can't wrap my head around, which is nick's hallucination of troy. how did his subconscious come up with troy of all people? why did he hallucinate that troy saved him? why? i don't understand. i love the hallucination and i love the fact that he hallucinated troy but i still don't really get why. maybe it's supposed to show us that nick feels safe around troy or that he trusts that troy would save him if he had the chance?

troy's now gone from the ranch but nick still seems to worry about him and alicia calls him out on it. she tells him that he doesn't owe troy anything but likes him and nick never refutes that. alicia also says that they "share the same self-destruction", to which nick replies "maybe i'm as sick as he is", and i love that. he admits that he thinks they might be similar and for me this whole talk just again proves that nick really does care about troy. what makes the whole talk even better is that not even five minutes later troy shows up at nick's to warn him from the horde. he was exiled but he sneaks back in just to warn nick of something that he himself is responsible for. he still doesn't seem to believe that nick cares about him though because when nick says, "it's good you're alive", he answers with "i don't think you believe that". and that's just sad. that after everything nick's done for him troy still can't believe that nick cares about him. what i also love is when troy says, "but you saved me in your own way", and that he'd like to return the favour. i'm not entirely sure what troy means here though. does he mean that nick stopped him from going kamikaze and saved his life or does he mean something different? if he'd simply told nick that nick saved him then i'd have an easier time believing it but he also says "in your own way", and i can't wrap my head around that. it just feels like he means something else with that than just nick saving his life.

another thing about their nightly talk that i love is that nick doesn't even think to rat troy out, not for a second. he says he can hide him or he has to sneak out, these are the only options.

the next day nick and jake then go out together to search for troy and find out what he meant with his warning. on the road jake's intentions regarding his brother are made clear when he takes out his gun and tells nick the story about the rabbit. when they finally reach troy nick again tries to talk him down but to no avail. troy doesn't plan on surviving this one and nothing nick could say can change that. jake then finally attacks troy and nearly kills him but is stopped by nick which results in jake's death. again, nick stands by troy and doesn't want him to die. even though troy just led the horde towards the ranch and literally destroyed everything that they had built there and nick knows it. but he still can't give up on troy and jake has to pay for it.

almost everything troy does from now on in my opinion he does for nick. nick wants him to help save the ranch so troy helps him. not because he wants to or cares about anyone there but because nick wants him to help. so he does. and those couple scenes really are everything. troy has fun doing what he does and nick has fun too. they're both being crazy together and they are loving it. when they are saved by madison, strand and walker nick covers for troy and lies about the horde. he knows that if he'd tell what had really happened someone would snap and troy would most likely end up dead and nick can't have that so he lies. even though a couple episodes back he wasn't happy with madison when she did the exact same thing when lying about the trimbols.

i also couldn't miss the fact that when alicia says everyone deserves to carve something out for themselves in this life troy and nick exchange a very quick glance. it could mean nothing but you can't deny that they looked at each other when she said that. and then when they have their talk in the car comes troy's most famous line: "all right, you stayed at the ranch because you love me." i think it's meant as a joke but again, nick doesn't refute troy's statement and they both just chuckle. like nick admitted to alicia that he and troy may be similar, troy says the same to nick now. and like before, nick doesn't say anything against it. it's not just troy who thinks like that, nick himself already came to the same conclusion.

at the bazaar we then come to some of the most bizarre scenes ever when nick and troy get high together. this is another thing that troy does just for nick. he doesn't really want to get high and seems to be rather uncomfortable at the beginning but he still does it because of nick. nick does have to remind him though that he saved troy's life but in the end troy does it for nick. again. surrounded by the infected nick then confesses to troy that he doesn't want to go back with madison and troy comforts him and hugs him. he hugs him! this scene as well as the couple ones before when they were staggering around together, arms slung around each other's shoulder, are everything. they are definitely friends by now, rather close ones actually, genuinely care for each other, and i really love the place that their relationship is at in that moment.

the next day nick then informs madison that he and troy plan to stay at the bazaar. we don't know troy's opinion on this but i think he only stayed there because of nick but i'll talk about this later on.

when troy hears that the proctors plan to attack the dam he is the one to yank nick out of his stupor. i'm not entirely sure if he wants to help madison for nick's sake or because he still kinda likes her. but it is worth mentioning that back when nick joined the militia troy asked nick: "is madison okay with this?", while now he tells nick "your mother's in trouble". back then he says 'madison' while he now says 'your mother' which kinda strikes me as odd. to say 'your mother' is more personal and it feels like troy acknowledges the fact that madison is nick's mother and that's why they should go and save her. so he might be doing this for nick's sake because even though nick doesn't want to stay with madison she's still his mother and he still loves her so troy might wanna save her for nick. still, i'm not entirely sure.

while nick is questioned by daniel troy tries to reconnect with madison, at least it seems to me like that's what he's doing. like i said before i think that troy only stayed at the bazaar because of nick. and here's the reason why: he tells madison that the bazaar wasn't a good place for him and nick. he probably already realized that after the first night because how could he not but he still decided to stay there, all because of nick. so again, he did that for nick. he then confirms to madison that he and nick are indeed friends and to troy they are actually closer than friends, like brothers, and that he genuinely likes nick. when troy asks madison if they're good she says they are but i didn't believe her, not for a second. she needed too long for her answer and was too quick in changing the topic. at the same time daniel questions nick and again, nick lies for troy and covers him. but this is a different situation, this is daniel. nick knows what daniel can do but he still lies to protect troy.

in the end it's all for nothing though because madison is the one that finally kills him after finding out that he was the one who led the horde to the ranch. nick did everything he could to protect troy and then madison, nick's mother, is the one to actually take troy's life. nick does look horrified when she does it but i feel like he could've been a little more shocked. he just looks horrified, turns around and walks out of the room, and after that i was a little disappointed in him for not showing more emotions. later when nick and madison are hiding he then starts arguing with her about it but the argument was more about the fact that madison can just callously kill someone and not necessarily about her having killed troy. although when madison says she killed him for her kids, she made that call for them, nick tells her "not for me!", and i really liked hearing him say that because he seemed angry but also sad and hurt so he's obviously not okay with what she did. later when john asks him about troy and he says that troy's dead and his mom killed him he also sounds a bit accusing which i also loved to hear. the way john asked, "is your friend here, nick?", i loved that as well. it again solidifies that nick and troy were friends because nick answers the question without refuting the statement and saying that they weren't friends or something like that. so at least troy and nick both acknowledged that they were friends.

but of course we also cannot forget nick's suicide note. i really love the fact that he called it his 'suicide note' because that was a reference all the way back to his talk with troy and the rest of the militia when troy didn't want him to go all kamikaze on them. i see it as nick kinda honouring his friendship with troy when he calls it his 'suicide note' because nobody knows the story behind it but it's obvious what it means. i've heard people say that now that troy's gone nick's all suicidal and troy's not there to stop him like he did before. but i'm not sure. you can certainly interpret it as that because nick does seem to be rather disillusioned and he's definitely still grieving troy. there is however no other option at the moment if he wants his mom and sister as well as strand to survive so i don't think he's just suicidal because troy's gone. to me it seems like he's accepted his fate and made his peace with the fact that he would die and i think it would've been a great end for nick if they'd actually let him die there.

i will definitely miss them though because their dynamic was great and i really do think that nick could've helped troy become a better person. he'd never be a good person but he could've gotten better, if they had just given him a chance. as i said before, i really think that most of the things troy did after the horde he did for nick so i genuinely believe nick could've helped him be a better person.

Wishing I could read something about Peraltiago talking about how they feel on all Teddy's proposals to Amy. They are really akward, uncomfortable moments and Teddy really crosses the limits every single time, and wish we knew more on their takes about it. Once I read a fic about Jake sending Rosa to stop Teddy and take care of Amy but it just not the same.

lol I have a fic on that topic exactly - I have a proposal for you - where I had the cathartic experience of writing about Rosa breaking Teddy’s hand for being so awful, but I agree with you, Teddy reappearing in the show is so uncomfortable each time ugggh. I thought the wedding one was the worst but then he shows up literally fathering a child with someone else and still does it, disgusting.

So maybe take this as taking place before that fic of mine, where Jake does mention how bad Teddy's proposals make them feel!

Jake can tell, just from the simple drop of her purse in the hallway, that it wasn't a good day.

Weird, how it's these tiny things that he's learned to read instantly - or maybe not, given that he's a detective trained to focus on details others would overlook, and being unable to stop the habit when it comes to the most important people in his life.

She tries to be all smiles when she comes into the living room, though, where Mac is happily rolling around in his playpen while Jake is folding laundry on the couch, the very picture of domesticity as she leans over the pen to kiss their squealing, giggling little baby. The view of her in one of her old pantsuits instead of her Sergeant's uniform is already making his hearts do little leaps even before she makes her way over to Jake for their customary Welcome Home kiss.

"How was that inter-department meeting today?" He asks as she shrugs off the suit jacket and continues her pace into the kitchen, setting aside a set of Mac's bibs that can't be folded anyway.

"Okay." She replies, and that's enough to make him abandon the laundry alltogether and follow her (one eye on Mac, of course, but he's not even crawling yet, and couldn't roll himself into any danger on his foam-based playmat - probably). It's rare that she doesn't have at least one inspiring, 'interesting' or just generally informative story to share from her meetings, the only person in probably all departments looking forward to them.

She's staring into the fridge when he reaches the room and leans against the counter, trying to gauge her level of upset. From the raised shoulders and the fact that she doesn't need to check the fridge to know they were going to order Chinese tonight, he guesses it's at a solid 8, at least.

"Teddy was there." She mumbles into the cold, bright space in front of her, and Jake's shoulders tense up just as much as hers even as he tries to sound as chill as possible.

"How is he?"

"Still extremely boring." Then, after a pause. "Still hung up on me."

So much for chill.

"Did he propose again?"

She nods and sighs, her shoulders dropping as she closes the fridge, but doesn't turn toward him.

"I don't know what's wrong with him." She says through gritted teeth, suddenly. "He has a child with someone. He has a wife. How can he look at them and turn around and-"

Mac's little happy cooing from the living room interrupts her, as do Jake's arms as they wind around her middle, his chin dipping into the space between her shoulder and her neck.

"That's probably a question only a therapist could answer, babe."

Amy sighs as she leans back, falls into the warmth and support of her own husband, the father of her child that she can hear happily babbling to himself from a room over, and wonders some more how Teddy could ever think he would be a better option for her.

"He wasn't like this when we were dating." She muses, and feels Jake's kiss against her jaw - a reflex action she's noticed whenever she mentions a past partner or anything, frankly, that reminds him that there was a point where he wasn't Jake Peralta-Santiago yet. But she kind of needs to finish this thought, and she knows he can handle it. "He was nice and kind and he wouldn't- he wasn't manipulative, pulling something like that in public, or deluded enough to think he was in the right for it. I mean, he thought he was pretty great, but he wouldn't have -"

"You musta broken something pretty major in his brain when you left him." Jake's voice is joking, luckily, but she can sense a hint of something more. "The absolute devastation of a Santiago break-up speech, rehearsed or not."

"Harsh, Jake."

"Remember manbun musician? He went downright insane after your split - not that he was probably the sanest person around before that, but-"

"You promised we'd never mention him again."

"I'm just saying. I don't think any man left by you is going to be completely right in the head after that."

"You're making me sound like some black widow monster." She smiles, though, hearing the awe and affection in his voice bleed through.

"I'm not judging those guys, anyway." He continues, and that tinge of something else in his words is back. "I mean, I can't imagine what I'd be like if you ever decided to take Teddy up on one of his proposals."

She straightens up from her lean on his chest, twists in his arms without breaking the hug, and stares right into him as she studies his face - his actually slightly scared face.

"Jake, you know that's not ever-"

"I was joking babe."

"No. Jake. That's not even an option. Not even an idea. Never. Not in a million years. Not if-"

She grabs his shirt where it's unbuttoned, right next to his heart, and his hand reaches up to squeeze hers like it always does, thumb swiping along her rings.

"I know, Ames." The soft kiss that follows calms her just as much. "I cashed out that jackpot and I'm not giving it back."

She hums as she kisses him again, leans her forehead against his for a deep breath.

"It's just... sad." She returns to her original train of thought. "That he can't move on despite his life doing so. I mean, it's been years. He's got a new job and a new partner and a new baby, and he's willing to, what, dump all that? For me? For that idolised image he probably has in his mind of me now, because nothing between us has been real since ages ago?"

"Wow, this is really bugging you."

"Yes! He's barging into my life and thinking he knows what's best for me and that it's him, like I'm some love-struck silly dreamgirl who's going to drop her entire world because he's romantic enough to go down on one knee in front of our colleagues and superiors who have no idea what's going on-!"

Mac's noises from the next room turn from content to disagreeing, growing into what is sure to be a cry any minute now, and it's the only thing that can make them break apart from their hug. He calms down immediately when Amy lifts him out of his pen, and holds him close while she settles on the sofa next to the half-done laundry basket, snuffling against her chest in a very obvious I’m hungry mom couldn’t you tell?! move before she can even unbutton her dress shirt.

He latches on immediately when her shirt is open and her bra pulled down - not a nursing bra today, considering she got ready for an important work meeting - while she feels Jake rearrange the pillows behind her and to her side to get her comfortable, without a second of hesitation or having to think about it. He moves on to pick up the jacket she's dropped onto a dining room chair, drapes it on a hanger in the hallway, and she feels the soft prick of tears in her eyes before he settles down again next to the two of them with a glass of water for her set on the coffee table.

Jake only hums as he notices the shine in her eyes too, and wipes across her cheek. He knows that nursing can get her into a pretty emotional state sometimes, but this is probably a bit more than that.

"I love you." She says, and barely waits for his return of I love you too to continue. "I can't believe Teddy expects me to look at Mac, and look at you, and still think he could ever be a better offer for anything I want."

"Aw, babe." He grins softly in return while playing with Mac's foot that is kicking in his direction, covered in the fuzziest green socks with red apples on them. "You scored a pretty dope 2-for-1 deal with us, I admit."

“Before that, too.” She insists, leaning to unlatch Mac and hand him over to Jake to burp as they always do while she buttons back up, thinking about Teddy’s many proposals before Mac was even planned on. “Jake, you know that, right? You alone were the best deal first and foremost.”

He smiles at her, Mac’s soft little curls right next to his cheek as he sways and pats his back, but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes.

“Jake-”

“You were happy with him.” He says, quietly, while Mac lets out his usual milky burp and smiles at him much wider when he wipes him clean with the linen cloth pulled from his shoulder. “I know it’s in the past and I - I’m not jealous or anything that stupid, but. Like you said... He wasn’t like this back then, and you were happy.”

His eyes seem forlorn, even as he smiles at the now sleepy baby in his lap that looks so much like him it always makes her heart twinge, that little bundle of joy with Amy’s dark hair and skin that seems to know the Cuban sun without ever having been there.

“And I know it’s not - and it doesn’t make sense to think about, but - sometimes his stupid proposals made me wonder what would’ve happened if he’d done that while he still made you happy.” His voice turns low, and it’s probably not just to avoid waking Mac back up as he falls asleep. “And that just makes me think about how I had to watch you be happy with him, and that’s not - that’s never a good memory to revisit, honestly-”

“I wouldn’t have said yes.” She leans over into his field of vision, the most serious look on her face. “Even back then, I wouldn’t have said yes to his proposal.”

Jake’s eyebrows scrunch up in question, his eyes turning into those puppy dog eyes that she knows as a direct hit to her heart when he’s actually sad or worried, and she can’t not hold his face in her hands again.

“Yes, I was happy with Teddy for a while, but looking back at it I realise I was- there was always this feeling of waiting for something. Hoping for something to be different.” She kisses him, careful and short and barely there, but enough to make him close his eyes and lean towards her a bit more. “And maybe back then I thought I was waiting for him to change somehow, but really I was only waiting for him to change into you.”

“Teddy couldn’t change into me if he had major brain surgery.” Jake scoffs, and Amy huffs a laugh with him.

“Yeah. And that’s why he’d never been right for me. That’s only ever been you.”

He finally, properly smiles now, eyes open again and set on her with a soft shine to them before he leans over more, as much as he can without waking the deeply asleep baby in his lap.

“I’m glad you figured that out when you did, in the end.” He quips and earns himself a shy nod. “And said yes when it came to the only good proposal you got.”

She snickers at that, thinking about the gaudy but wonderful boxing belt in her mementos box, and leans in the last few inches she needs to kiss him again, neither careful nor short this time, but equally as soft. 

“And the next time I catch Teddy trying to propose to you again I’m going to punch him out before he can even get down on one knee.”

“You are not assaulting a fellow officer.”

“Kick in the balls?”

“How very mature, Mister-I-have-an-actual-child-now.”

“Can I at least tell him where he can stick his ridiculous ideas of marrying you at any point in the future, no matter the circumstances?”

She hums for a second.

“You can. If you add in how ridiculous the idea was in the past as well.”

“Oh now, that’s a good deal.”

10 Films to watch this Valentine’s Day if you’re single as hell.

If anyone or anything is making you feel worthless on the Capitalist Holiday that is Valentine’s Day because you’re single AF, then don’t fret because it means one of two things;

You’re happy enough with yourself to not need anyone else.

You’re allergic to people.

Though mine is both the former and the latter, I can still get down to a good romance movie now and again. Now I’m not talking about those horrendous rom coms that Netflix seems to be churning out every damn minute, but those emotionally invested, earthy and well written dramas that has you ugly crying into your bathrobe for 17 minutes straight (me at the end of Her.). Here is a compiled list of some of the best romance films I’ve seen over the years and how each one doesn’t showcase an abundance of clichés and brands them as “acts of love”.

A Star is Born (2018 or 1953, take your pick)

I’ve found that both the 1953 version of A Star is Born with Judy Garland and the 2018 newer version to be a perfect and well rounded love story. What makes this love story so fierce is the vulnerabilities and downfall of its characters, which even though there are many sad moments, it perpetuates and strengthens the acts of love shown in the film. Both versions are similar in that they follow a woman who’s rise to fame as a performer becomes overshadowed by her jealous partner, who is also a notable celebrity. In the 2018 version starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, Gaga’s character Ally is helped by a country singer, Jackson Maine to become a successful singer and icon amongst the music industry. As she rises, Jackson falls and the character dynamics and intensity between them is a fitting love story. I was thoroughly bawling at the end and I guarantee you will too as Lady Gaga’s rendition of Love Again was the true scene stealer of the film. 

Call me by your name (2017)

I have an incredible bias towards this film and it has nothing to do with the film’s context or characters or even Timothée Chalamet The reason why I feel so connected to this film and proclaim it as my favourite film of all time is because of when I watched the film. It’s almost like seeing a film about a political event right after it's happened; you have this rush and connection towards something that’s actually affected you in the real world. I had the same feeling with Call me by your name after going through a rough and confusing patch whilst trying to get over someone I thought I truly loved. Turns out I didn’t (thank god) and yet Call me your name was almost like a shoulder to cry on. It’s a film that’s taught me to love and love hard but most importantly, not beat yourself up or try to distinguish the pain felt by true love. If you haven’t been fortunate to catch this beauty of a film, it follows two men, Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and Oliver (Armie Hammer) and their brief relationship in the summer of 1983 in Northern Italy. 17 year old Elio lives with his parents and his father (Michael Stuhlbarg) is a scholar who invites students from outside the country for the summer in hope of passing on his wisdom to them. This is when Oliver arrives, a handsome twenty something American who becomes the infatuation of Elio. 

I’ll never forget the first time I heard the monologue that Elio’s father gave his son at the end, explaining to Elio why he shouldn’t feel embarrassed by the pain he felt after loving Oliver:

“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste”

That, ladies and gentlemen and all in between, is what love is.

Her. (2013)

Once again, another film about love that had a profound effect on me because of when I watched it. Her. follows the story of Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) and his search for a story using an A.I to help him write. However, after getting to know this A.I named Samantha (Scarlett Johansson) and hearing the way she adapts and shows emotions, he soon falls in love with it. Some may deem this as rather sad (which it is) but I think it speaks to bigger constructs like internet dating and letting go of people you loved thus diminishing the fantasy and world you created for the two of you. This part of the film got to me a stark way as I felt the pain of letting go of not only a person, but a fantasy, just like Theodore had to do in letting his past partners go. Her. is truly beautiful, with some great production design, cinematography and acting.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

The absolute queen of love stories would be Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire, a film about the romance between two women in the late 18th Century. Definitely not a narrative you see every day or one that’s been painted in such a way (pun intended). Marianne (Noémie Merlant) is commissioned to paint the beautiful and stubborn Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) and the portrait is to be gifted to a suitor of Héloïse’s from Milan. But instead of getting the painting done and sending it off, Marianne and Héloïse unexpectedly fall for one another at a subtle and well timed pace that had me gawping at the screen the entire way through. Slow, sensual and moving is Portrait of a Lady on Fire and I would definitely say is one of the best LGBTQ plus films ever made to date.

Broke Back Mountain (2005)

Ang Lee scooped up a BAFTA, Golden Globe and Oscar for his direction on his adapted screenplay of Brokeback Mountain. Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) form a romantic bond after shepherding alone together on the side of a mountain. Once their time herding sheep comes to a close and they return back to their respective lives, it's clear that their bond is stronger than they had anticipated. They live in constant fear of their relationship becoming apparent to those around them, which leaves one of them taking matters into their own hands. A controversial yet extremely successful film of its time, Brokeback Mountain does a fabulous job of showcasing the consequences and despair of love using two of Hollywood’s finest actors.

Carol (2013)

It’s difficult to fully appreciate LGBTQ plus films set in the past as they mostly focus on the persecution of homosexuals as opposed to the love they wish to express. However, this was pretty accurate of the time and it's only very recently that we have begun to accept one another’s sexualities and genders fully so much that we play these stories out on screen without the persecution part. Carol is a film directed by Todd Haynes and stars Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett. I found them to be an extremely intense pairing whilst they unravelled as their characters on screen. Therese (Rooney Mara) works in the toy department of a department store when one day she lays eyes upon Carol Aird, a beautiful and elegant married woman who becomes the infatuation of Therese. Therese throws all caution to the wind in order to be closer to Carol and because of this and the 1950s society they live in, their relationship is doomed from the beginning. I was in complete awe of the way Carol had been shot and created into this sensual and rich drama set in the 1950s. From the costumes, to the lighting to the acting, everything about Carol held weight to it showcasing the devotion of a truly talented director.

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (2004)

Usually I’d pass on a Charlie Kaufman film, seeing as they make no sense, however I felt that it was time I delved into this cult classic starring Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood. It’s a really well made film with a clear and distinct message to it that’s represented in some phenomenal filmmaking techniques. The plot line of this film follows a man trying to erase a past lover and his memories of her get wiped away physically before your eyes on screen. It made me wish that I could do the same with people I’ve liked in the past, but the contradictory of this would be the trauma of eventually ending up with someone you had already met in another life. I haven’t experienced a break up nor felt the pain of one, though I could judge that this film tells that experience really well.

Moonlight (2016)

Moonlight is one of few films that I would genuinely worship if it were a religion. It's also one of the films that I outwardly shame people for not having seen, as it is truly a masterpiece and film lover’s film. Deep, emotionally connected, colourful, harsh, moving and eye opening, this film takes you on an emotional rollercoaster through the eyes of Chiron and the three stages of his life that have carved out his essence as a human being. Not only that, but he falls in love with another boy at his school, and when he does, he’s hurt rather badly. Literally. Moonlight is the definition of profundity and was awarded the top prize of Best Picture at the 2017 Academy Awards. 

Loving (2016)

When I think of a truthful and honest testament of love, the film Loving comes to mind which is a fitting title for such a delicate yet strong story. The film is based on a true story of an interracial couple, Richard and Mildred (Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga) being banned from Virginia in the 1950s for choosing to be together. If that ain’t a true sacrifice of love, then I don’t know what is. Choosing someone you love over your own home is an unfathomable thing and certainly shows the strength that this couple had in facing the judgements of others whilst remaining emotionally truthful to themselves. 

The Shape of Water (2017)

The Shape of Water is a strange yet enlightening love story between Eliza, a deaf woman (Sally Hawkins) and a creature being tested on in a laboratory. Awards season went mental for this back in 2018, winning four of the THIRTEEN Oscars it was nominated for. I would categorize it as quite the niche film and wouldn’t usually think that such a film could be garnered with Oscar success. However everyone who worked on this film really pulled out the stops in creating an entire new world and perspective that has many layers to it, as well as an abundance of conflict and dynamics for audiences to lull over. The relationship between Eliza and the feared swamp monster that’s being cruelly tested in the laboratories where she works, is heartfelt and honest, which is strange seeing as Eliza’s virtually in love with a monster. The casting in this was outlandish yet it really worked as all actors in this melded well into the story as their prospective characters. It also has one of the most touching endings to a film I’ve ever seen.

And there you have it, ten Romance films for you to enjoy this Valentine’s Day. Watch them all at once, or maybe just watch one. Whether you watch it alone or with someone, it doesn’t really matter!

Lots of love

Ang x

Obsidian lore thread!

Sharing this thread of lore, episode connections, and Easter eggs from Adventure Time: Distant Lands: Obsidian, originally written for my Twitter.

SPOILERS AHEAD, WATCH OBSIDIAN ON HBO MAX IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

Keep reading for the full thread!

1) We've seen bombs scattered around the Land of Ooo before, but this is the first time we've seen the word "fission", confirming that they are nukes. Although we have seen the radiation roundel plenty of times so it's pretty obvious.

2) The "magic lightning" that created the Glass Kingdom could itself have been one of the nukes. Alternatively, it could have been the catalyst comet, although Finn has no connection to this place so that's probably not the case.

3) The subtitles for the first four minutes video suggested that Glassboy was saying "crap" here. However, the HBO Max subtitles confirm he is actually saying "crack".

4) All of Marceline's classic furniture is present, but Bubblegum's influence is very visible; a doily on the couch, a flask underneath, new barstools from the Candy Kingdom, and the pink lamp in the bedroom, just to name a few examples.

5) Lady Rainicorn slippers. That is all.

6) Chocoberry on the cover of a magazine. Looks like she's been dipped in white chocolate for this shoot.

7) This is the first time we've seen Choose Goose since he appeared as "Achoos Goose" in the Elements miniseries. Last time we saw his normal form was all the way back in season five's "Blade of Grass", nearly seven years ago. Is it weird that Choose Goose was the first thing in the episode to make me cry?

8) It appears that Princess Bubblegum has not rebuilt the Gumball Guardians since they were destroyed in the battle against GOLB.

9) There are lots of familiar candy people in and around the tavern, from a variety of seasons, including Kenneth, Dirt Beer Guy, Cherry Cream Soda, a Banana Guard 500, Lollipop Girl, and Smudge.

10) Simon is of course singing "Remember You". He is also using the omnichord that was used in that episode. Interestingly, this suggests he might remember some of his experiences as the Ice King.

11) This isn't the first time Dirt Beer Guy's tavern has hosted an open mic night. He also held one in "Son of Rap Bear", and even used the same banner, although it's looking a little tattered and worn out now.

12) Simon doesn't look any older than he did in the finale. This might mean that Betty's wish made him immortal, or it simply might not have been long enough for him to visibly age.

13) This is the oversized shirt given to Marceline by her father in the episode "Marcy & Hunson". It's looking a little faded these days.

14) Bubblegum's outfit is of a similar style to the one in "The Vault", but it's not the same. The fact she's not wearing her amulet might suggest this flashback takes place after "The Vault", but nothing is known for certain.

15) There are gravestones outside Marceline's house, but these actually aren’t new. They previously appeared in “Go With Me”. So don’t worry, these don’t belong to Jake or anything like that.

16) Simon's coping mechanism would be funny if it wasn't so sad. It's going to be a long time before he fully recovers. On a lighter note, the magnets on the fridge say "M PB" which is pretty cute.

17) This is our first time seeing the outside of Elise's van. We previously saw the interior in "Everything Stays". Also, we learned from the credits and subtitles that her name is Elise!

18) Previously, it wasn't known whether or not Elise survived the Mushroom War. Turns out she did... but not for long. It's also now unclear whether the flashback from "Everything Stays" happened before or after the war.

19) A nice little timeline detail: Marceline travelling with her mother for a while explains the awkward two year gap between the Mushroom War and the events of "Simon & Marcy".

20) Here's a comparison of the parts of Marceline's song that got corrupted into the current version. The Glass People got really obsessed with the idea of the song being about coconuts for some reason.

21) PB yelling "Scree!" to summon the Morrow is a callback all the way to the season two episode "Death in Bloom", which is when the Morrow made their debut.

22) Disease is added to the long list of things that helped wipe out humanity. I wonder if this disease is related to the one that Hugo and his crew gave to the grays in the BMO special. I also wonder if Marceline is immune thanks to her demon half.

23) The mutant puppy was able to say the word "wassup". Perhaps this is a halfway stage to the talking animals that now populate the Land of Ooo.

24) Turns out Marceline discovered her demon powers before she defeated the Fool. This is the first appearance of these kinds of soulless husks since "It Came From the Nightosphere" in season two.

25) This is the first new candy power we've seen Princess Bubblegum use since she learned how to create mints and soda in "Jelly Beans Have Power".

26) Marceline not caring about the glass people is very in line with her personality in the early seasons, such as when she was happy to let her father suck souls as long as she got her bass back.

27) No Easter egg here, just an extremely good image.

28) Here's the screenshot leaked by Adam Muto last month. Like the gas station in "Bonnibel Bubblegum", the graffiti here tells an interesting story. Seems like the Land of Ooo had a bit of a Mad Max phase while the humans were still around.

29) This is (as far as I know) only the second time an Adventure Time character has ever been shown bleeding. The first was the heart monster in "The Enchiridion", but that was a lot less realistic.

30) The fact that humans survived long enough to construct a whole Fallout-style bunker confirms that the near-extinction of humanity wasn't a quick process. It makes you wonder whether any other groups made it, besides the Islanders.

31) Apart from this being one of the darkest scenes in the entire show, I like the background detail of bank notes being used as toilet paper.

32) Marceline grew up blaming herself for her mother leaving, and says she is like her dad. It sounds like Elise has told Marceline a bit about Hunson Abadeer, and is scared and angry at him.

33) This actually isn't the first time Marceline's bass has been broken. She also snapped the handle during her fight with the Vampire King. However, it's never been completely shattered like this.

34) This might be a reference to the Hall of Egress. That's the only other time we've heard Bubblegum use that word.

35) Confirmation that Princess Bubblegum doesn't have bones. I guess that counts as lore?

36) The gag of the Banana Guards slipping over each other was also done in "The Thin Yellow Line" and probably some other episodes I'm forgetting.

37) Jake’s granddaughter Bronwyn is certainly an unexpected appearance. I wonder what affiliation she has with the main cast now?

38) And of course... FINN! I would estimate he's aged about five to ten years since the finale, but it's hard to tell with Adventure Time's style. He looks younger than he did in Puhoy's alternate future.

39) Lots of people have been theorising that the tattoo implies that something unfortunate has happened to Jake. Perhaps we'll get to know more about that in Together Again. Let's not dwell on it for now.

40) A canon origin story for the shirt, plus a Bubbline first meeting! This overrides the P.B. & Marcy comic, and re-contextualises a whole bunch of the old Bubbline episodes!

That’s all for now! Let me know if you can think of anything I missed!

ENHYPEN as Empathy Tracks (D.O)

pairing : enhypen x reader

genre : fluff.  very soft. 

warnings : - 

summary : since kyungsoo released empathy i’ve been listening to his tunes and linking them to enhypen members.    

Rose - D.O 

A new relationship 

Crush turned relationship :) 

Twiddling fingers, heart shaped pupils

‘I go to a local florist. No matter how hard I think about, which flower I want to give you. The only flower I know is a rose.’

I love this line so much. 

Imagine Jake’s little smile and going to the florist. 

‘With courage, carrying an arm full of flowers.’

‘You are prettier than a rose actually. I can’t express my feelings in words. Even though I look shy. And cheesy, I can’t help it. From today we are lovers.’

Doesn’t really need big gestures - tiny little things that keep the love alive in his heart. He feels what he feels and does his best to express it.

Sincerity in purest form. Maybe not quite knowledgable but very sincere.

Jake blowing his cheeks up as he nervously prepares himself to approach you. 

I’m Gonna Love You ft Wonstein - D.O 

Naturally in love

Because he is in love - he doesn’t know any different. Doesn’t necessarily know what it means not to be in love.

It’s just how it is.

‘Like drinking a cup of coffee in the morning. Like the sun rising, facing the west, It’s so easy to love you.’

Simplicity is best. 

‘Yeah, I’m gonna, I’m gonna love you. It’s like taking a breath. I’m gonna love. It’s so easy.’

Even though he may potentially struggle or the relationship will have setbacks, because that person is someone they love and too important to them, they’ll do their best.

‘I learn everything. I’ve been so foolish. Because of the way you smile. I’ll do my best for you.’

In it for the long run. 

Dedicated to the relationship. 

Prepared to fight through the inevitable setbacks in their relationship. Setbacks are normal. But nothing matters more to him than you. 

My Love - D.O 

‘We walk together through this night air. The temperature and weather suits you. The night sky, the starlight, your eyes. Everything I see with my eyes. That’s just my love.’

Imagine being on a walk with him, the night air doesn’t bother you and maybe he’s holding your hand, or your hands are in his pockets. Maybe you’re sharing a jacket or walking snuggled up with one blanket. Maybe you’ve got matching thick winter coats. 

He comes home from work or any other commitment that requires being outside or separated. 

You come home from work or any other commitment that requires being outside or separated. 

It’s tough work. You both feel like you need a nap but you agree to spend this bracket of free time to go on a walk together to enjoy each other’s company. 

(Before returning home and having a nap together) 

Even though may be busy and may be too tired, he’ll still love and is comforted by the relationship/love.

Spending time whenever possible despite conflicting/hard schedules.

Enjoyment in its purest form.

It’s Love - D.O 

Despite setbacks, wanting to be in love - wanting to feel comforted and understood.

Somewhat of an bright glow. 

Always working. Always having this energy or livelihood. 

‘My heart never sleeps. It’s a heart I’ve forgotten for awhile. Even if things always fall apart when I look forward to them. That is not the end. Turn the page one more time. It’s the coming love.’

‘It is a bigger world. Look at each other in the eye and hold hands. Grow old together. What makes me want to be together with you for the last time. Is that you are love’

Youth. 

Niki being a little nuisance - making sure you’re always spending the day well and making sure every little moment is worth it for your journal.

Every tomorrow is a new day. 

Opening up to other forms of love and opportunities. That they’re all around us.

Another chance.

Slightly sad. But not too much. A sad that will eventually or easily be comforted.

Dad - D.O 

Holding Dad’s hand

Memories - nostalgia

The realisation of space, time and self.

‘I walk slowly, following you. The dazzling sunset light is coming down. It spreads to that warm back. While you, who has been infinitely kind, ran non-stop. I was unknowingly growing up too.’

An appreciation of those around you. 

Those that you love dearly but are so normal to you that sometimes you forget how much they mean to you. 

‘I want to be more like you. To you, I’m still a child. I’m still learning life from you. So that your time is filled with more dazzling memories. I always try to face you and be with you. My father.’

‘You’ve endlessly looked strong. You’ve had to turn around and endure things alone. I became old enough to know a little about that.’

‘The sound of your bright laughter. With this beautiful night that grows deeper. It has been In my memory for a long time. That you and I are very similar.’

You watch three shadows walk along the path. 

One shadow belongs to Heeseung’s father who is a bit older but still manages to keep a good stride. Perhaps even better than the other two. He watches his son with love in his eyes because his son may be an adult now, he is still his baby. 

Another shadow belongs to Heeseung who stands tall and proud. Strong. But always looking around his legs. 

Because the third and final shadow is your own son who wobbles on his little legs and watches the world with curious eyes. He keeps a firm grasp on his dad’s legs, not wanting to be separated. 

‘An exceptionally starry night. I’m proud of you, you shine even brighter. More beautiful than the harsh world.’

Reliability.

The rock you leaned on in times of conflict or inner torment breathed too.

I’m Fine - D.O 

Nostalgia

‘The many memories and our fluttering hearts. Are they gradually disappearing from our memory?’

Fear?

‘How are you? How are you doing? Is it the day you’ve been hoping for? Like you asked me, I asked you. ‘I’ve been doing well.’ Without hesitating for a moment, I sincerely hope you tell me ‘I’m fine’…. With that phrase, me too, I’m fine.’

Wants to know what the other is thinking. Wants to be able to care about each other, to understand each other, to communicate innermost feelings. 

‘At the end of a long day. I’m gradually losing my way. I’ve been wandering all night, comforting myself. Seeing only the good things. Hearing only the good things. May I be filled with good thoughts.’

Doubts

Reflection.

Moments spent, flicking through your teenage journal with the widest smile on his face. 

You started dating when you were in high school and at the time wrote little entires in your diary with the thought he wouldn’t read a single world. 

But he spends the whole afternoon reading your words. The way you felt about him then, asking questions, smiling. You were in such a rush to try everything when you were younger but now-  

‘Before it’s too late, let’s try it together, one thing at a time. Don’t worry about things on your own. Don’t regret things anymore. Even the small wishes, one thing at a time, the two of us.’

Si Fueras Mia - D.O 

‘Everyday you wake up in my arms. I wake you up with little kisses filled with love. How nice we have it, you and I. And I sing you the songs that you like. Every lyric that I write is for you. But I only know you in my dreams, my love.’

‘Ooh, if only you were mine. The places I would take you to. To see you happy and to see you smile. There is nothing I wouldn’t do. I would give you the entire world in a second. If only you were mine.’

Crush?

‘I drown within your eyes and there is no salvation.’

Hope.

Daydreaming.

The promise to travel. To see the world when everything is all over. To experience things you’ve always talked about. When you can enjoy it wholeheartedly. 

It’s his gift to you. 

author’s note : went overboard with heeseung but now i’m like imagining dad!heeseung. 

Azure's story Chapter 11

@jakelogic @robbybarnes @hacked-by-jake @amelia-bluebell-rw47vr @booklover-01040 @mysticpetals @jakeismylover @yuvon-augold79 @duskwood-legacies @aesthetics-crow @zmayadw @heymisssing 

(I don’t forget anyone right?-)

Genre: Angst (?), sad

Character(s): Rachel and Azure

!TW: DEEP THOUGHT!

*Rachel’s POV*

I turn to the sound of the creaking door, causing my ponytail to wiggle and almost run into my mouth. It's Azure.

I bow my head to look at her, wiping my tears with my sleeve. 

Yes, when I got to school I had one of those 'anxiety' experiences. Yet it seems that doubling over from the pain of anxiety is nothing for the psychological pain that crushes my mind.

There are moments where I get a slap in the face from the person ‘I love’. Moments where I only see bottles scattered everywhere, I bow only to observe the contents and feel the same lump as when I take a slap in the face: Alcohol. Instead, moments of exhausting thoughts, thinking that my father will no longer be able to walk and that my feelings are not enough to satisfy his hunger to control me.

And there are times when I'm so exhausted that I'm thinking about ending it. I can't wake up completely to think about it and it seems like I'll never be able to wake up from this reality.

Azure, she seems to have passed these thoughts. I've known Azure for very little, but enough to understand that something was wrong. Azure seems to have behaviors that indicate her mood, like a moon,  but I only saw emptiness in her eyes like deep ocean. They haven't told me much about Azure, this makes her a mysterious person, almost like an empty diary. 

–

Azure seemed to walk like a jelly, seemed to shake despite the windows being closed, or, psychological cold.

She collapses on her desk, ignoring the fact that the teacher has asked her to justify her delay.

She looked dead. But the only sign of life was a series of long blows.

She is  crying.

Hearing her cry felt like I was about to spit blood as my heart was choking like paper. Feeling that my classmates  do not share but giggle under their mustaches.

I look at her with a sad look, I raise my hand. "Teacher, can I take Azure to the bathroom?"

“Yes,”   The teacher nodded, clearly that feeling has infected her too.

Azure jumps up only to escape the door. I follow her, ignoring the laughter of my classmate.

Azure is not waiting for me, but walks quickly towards the bathroom.

"Azure!" I reach her, take her shoulders and turn her around to look into my eyes.

She can't look at me, like there's a stone wall separating us. But she still cries.

I could not help but wrap my arms around her, forming a distant  hug. I am surprised, I have not had hugs in my life but my father tells me that I have had many hugs from my mother...But what happened to her?

I drag her to the bathroom. I close the door behind us making a bad sound with the door.

“What happened?” I lean against the wall.

She does not respond, sobbing, almost suffocating her.

A single thought clouds my mind, maybe she is afraid that I don't understand her?

I look at her with a serious look, that morning was bad on its own. Worse for the fact that it is autumn, but the vision of my father in the wheelchair would have wanted me to take it and slam it against the pavement and crush it with it... Just thoughts.

Anger rises in my veins, why doesn't she trust me? Why doesn't anyone think I can't understand?

“Azure, I don’t have so much time. It’s a bad time for me too.”

She glares at me but doesn't seem to answer. But just run away from the bathroom and run away.

—--------

“I’m sorry, Azure. I didn’t mean that.”  I tried to apologize as soon as the bell rang.

I don't like that personal problems can hinder our mission.

She doesn't move, but hides her head in his arms for more.

"Would you like to go to a bakery after school?"    I ask, could it be a good way to speak better of the rules.

She doesn't move. I'll take it as a yes.

Sorry for bothering you, but I had another idea! :D If you don't mind me sending two requests, how about a headcanon (or imagine if you want, you can choose what you like best) where Jake will meet MC's parents and he is super nervous because he is afraid of what they will think of him and if they knew that he is a hacker. But when Jake and MC arrive at her parents' house, they are quite different than Jake thought.

I'm sooooo sorry that this is super late but life got in the way and I just couldn't bring myself to write. And when I did have the time, I was almost ashamed of how long it had been and delayed it even further.

So this is me, finally writing what I should have done months ago. Thank you so much for your patience!!! ❤️

Jake and f!MC headcannons

(meeting the parents)

There aren't a lot of things that phase Jake

In fact, he's seen so much over the years he was on the run, done some illegal things too

But nothing and he meant nothing, could terrify him more than when his girlfriend told him that her parents had invited them over to have dinner together the next week

"next week? Like....like seven days later?"

"yes." she nodded and his brain short circuited.

"oh my god, oh my god."

MC amused herself by looking at Jake panicking about it for a few minutes and then grabbed his shoulders and made him look at her

"relax, babe. You don't have to. I can tell them that you're busy or something."

Jake calmed down for a moment but then he noticed the sad smile on MC's face

And he doesn't like seeing her sad

At all.

So despite his nervousness, he steeled himself to do this

"why don't we go? I think it'll be fun."

MC's face was priceless.

Shocked beyond belief, she cupped his face in her hands and leaned forward, eyes wide

"are you sure, honey? You don't have to force yourself."

She looked so hopeful and excited to hear his answer

And they had been dating for a while. So it was only natural that they meet each other's families

And since MC had already pretty much met his (only the people he considered as one!), it wouldn't be fair if he didn't make an effort too

"yes. We should go," he smiled and MC squealed excitedly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips

"oh my gosh, I'm so excited!! I'll go call them right now!!"

:))))

Did he make the right decision?

Wellllll, standing in front of MC's house, he was sweating profusely

He had worn his best outfit, a white button up shirt and black jeans

And they had already been late because MC liked his look a little too much

Anyway!!!

He was anxious about making the best impression and he really hoped that they wouldn't be put off by his shyness

Or his profession

About which they didn't know

It's fine it's fine it's fine—

MC's hand slips into his, she gives him a soft smile and the world around them fades away

"I'll be with you the whole time. Tell me if it becomes too much."

Jake swears he's never been more in love

Okay, he can do this!! Absolutely!!

He nods resolutely and MC leads them to her parent's doorstep

Jake's heart is pounding but he's ready

The door opens and he's immediately engulfed in a bone crushing hug

He thinks he can't breath and he looks at MC with wide eyes, asking what to do and she just rolls her eyes in fond exasperation

"really feeling the love here, dad. Not like your daughter is here."

And the weight immediately lifts off of him and turns towards his girlfriend who is laughing as her father hugs her to himself

She squeezes him tight in return and Jake feels himself smile

"it's been too long. I wish you'd come by more. And Jake! Welcome home, son!"

Jake is flabbergasted by the warm welcome. Especially coming from MC's father.

Aren't fathers supposed to threaten the boyfriend?

The flashcards he used to prepare for today did not cover this

"Um, thank you," he stammers out somehow and the man laughs

"My daughter here did say you were shy but no matter! Come on in, I won't bite."

He led them inside and Jake just knew that MC was enjoying all this a little too much judging by the amused tilt of her lips

He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw a stern woman sitting on the couch, watching them walk in

"mom! How have you been?"

MC immediately went in for a hug while the older woman kept staring at him and MC's father leaned close to him and whispered

"She's a tough cookie to crack. Good luck, son."

He was so screwed

Jake gulped and watched the smallest of smiles cross her lips as she regarded her daughter, who was talking excitedly

"and this is Jake! My boyfriend!"

Jake literally felt the temperature inside the room drop, when her mother looked him in the eyes

"h-hello ma'am."

She nodded at him and well, that meant she acknowledged who he was, right?

She immediately turned away from him and started asking her daughter how she had been

Well, apparently not

"sorry, Jake. She's not trying to exclude you. She's just....a little hard around the edges."

He appreciated MC's dad because at least one parent didn't seem to hate him

"I appreciate that, sir."

He looked horrified at being called sir

"please don't call me that. Makes me feel old. Call me dad!"

Jake was once again astounded by the man's openness and not wanting to offend him, nodded hesitantly

He smiled widely and Jake was immediately reminded of MC's face when she laughed

"that's more like it! Come on now, the ladies shouldn't be left alone, they'll talk the night away."

MC smiled as soon as Jake entered in the kitchen where both the women were cooking and bringing out the cutlery

"had a nice chat, you two?" MC asked and her father nodded enthusiastically

"I like him! He's very nice, I approve."

"you've known him for two seconds." MC's mom deadpans and Jake smiles nervously

"can I help you with anything ma'am?"

She appraises him for a few moments and then nods

"then please help MC set the table."

Jake literally sighs in relief when the two of them come out from the kitchen

"your mom is scary."

MC laughs and pinches his cheek

"only because you look terrified of her. She enjoys making you squirm."

"well I almost wet myself because she looked at me like I murdered her dog or something"

MC laughs loudly and her father pokes his head out of the kitchen

"alright you two?"

Jake fights off the blush he knows he's sporting and prays that neither of her parents heard what he had said

Table was set quickly, with MC telling Jake about her childhood memories and her parents brought out the food

Jake thought he might have seen MC's mother smile when he made MC laugh but he wasn't sure

Dinner was a loud affair, with MC and her dad competing about who remembers the most about MC's childhood and Jake and her mother listening quietly

He definitely knew where MC got her charisma from

MC's dad was sweet to include Jake in their conversation, addressing him directly and asking him about his own experiences

He slowly found himself relaxing in their presence and telling them about his own hobbies and pet cat

MC's mother gave an approving nod at his choice of pet and asked him to bring him along the next time

Next time

Jake's brain short circuited at the thought that she wanted Jake to come over again

Does that mean tonight was successful?

"so Jake, you didn't say what you do for a living."

Ahhh

Well, it had to go wrong somewhere, right?

Jake froze and looked to MC to see her in a similar state and immediately deduced that she had not told them about his profession

Well

He knew this was going to come up eventually

"I'm a hacker."

Pin drop silence

You couldn't even hear anyone breath over the quietness

MC's mother put down her spoon slowly and opened her mouth to say something but Jake interrupted her before that

"I know you might think it's not a respectful job but it's what makes me happy. And MC supports me every step of the way and I promise you that I'll do everything in my power to honor her confidence in me. Keeping her safe and happy and healthy is my priority and I'll give my all to make sure that she's never unhappy with me."

Everyone at the table looked at him, MC with tears in her eyes and her father looking very proud

Her mother's expression was still unreadable until she smiled at him

The first smile directed at him

"I was going to say that's very interesting. I myself work in cyber security so I've had dealings with hackers. I've found that they're usually very polite."

What

The

Fuck

Jake blinked slowly and MC shifted guiltily in her seat

"haha what a coincidence, right?" She smiled nervously and her dad picked up quickly at her hint

"oh definitely! Why don't you two talk about work stuff and MC and I can clear up the table?"

MC and her father practically fly out of the dining room and Jake and her mom are the only ones left

It was MC's mother who initiated the conversation this time and Jake replied to her questions

He found it quite pleasant to be honest

It was not a regular occurrence that he could chat with someone who knew about computers so this was a nice change

And MC's mom was quite knowledgeable

She even offered to hire him the next time her company had a need of someone to check their software

Jake had no problem agreeing to her wish

He found that she was actually a very kind but fair woman who loved her family dearly, judging by the way she spoke of MC and her father

His heart warmed to know that MC had grown up in such a loving household, even if his heart gave a twinge at never having felt something akin to parental affection

"okay, you two. I think that's enough chatting for today," MC's father said and Jake looked at the time

Holy shit

How is it so late??

MC gave him a discreet thumbs up behind her mother's back and he had to stifle a laugh

"as much as we loved having you two, you should probably get going if you want to reach the city before midnight."

The goodbyes were a little sad and Jake found himself getting a bit emotional too

He really felt like he belonged here and not like an outsider

And MC's parents are so nice and inclusive

No he did not cry

Not at all

To Jake's surprise, MC's mom pulls him into a hug

"take care of my daughter."

And then he's getting roped into another hug, this one much tighter by her dad

"you hurt her, I'll kill you."

And when he stepped back, he was smiling as usual and Jake almost thought that he imagined his words

Anyway!!!

They are in the car and MC is already planning their next trip

And before he would have been scared but now, after spending time with her family, he knew he had found people worth considering his family

Never Yours (PJS)

Genre: Angst with a soft ending

AU: nonidol!au, richkid!au, highschool!au

Warnings: This is like sad ?? (idk im a sucker for angst but also suck at writing it), Sunghoon x Fem!reader at the end because this shouldn’t be so sad

Summary: Jay was the main love interest in Y/n’s story, but was she in his?

-

Y/n was a simple girl despite being born into a well off family. The Kims have always been taught from generation to generation to always be humble with their money, and thus Y/n’s parents had passed it down to her.

With that, there was always one thing Y/n never really had despite having it all because of her money. All she truly wanted was to experience love at the ripe age of nineteen.

In that longing experience of love, Y/n had found something in a boy at her school, his name Park Jeongseong (he goes by Jay), whom was also born into a well off family. 

Jay’s father was the CEO of a travel agency of course, it only made sense. Yet, through his wealth, Y/n had seen the boy for whom he is.

Jay was always an outgoing and funny guy, he was smart, respectful, dressed well and was very talented, what more could she really want. The two were in the same class and her adoration for him had bloomed in the early spring of their senior year.

“Hey listen it’s really not that bad!” Y/n laughed with her best friend in the classroom. It was the early hours of the morning and students were still piling in at school, but Y/n was always an early bird.

“Oh come on, it was totally bad! I totally embarrassed myself in front of the Shims!” Areum, Y/n’s best friend, whined.

“I’m sure Jake’s family understands, you’re a sweet girl” Areum was still sulking as Y/n giggled at her best friend, giving her a reassuring tap on the back.

“What about you? You haven’t shot your shot with J—“ before Areum could utter the rest of her sentence, Y/n had notice Jay and his best friends Sunghoon and Jake walk in.

“Areum” Y/n whined, and the latter laughed smirking at her best friend.

“Hey Y/n” Jay smiled at the two, and Y/n waved back, taking her hands off Areum’s mouth.

“Good morning Jay” Y/n said sweetly as the only students, Jay’s friends and Areum, jeered at the two. “Guys it’s not like that” Y/n whined, and they all calmed down.

“Aye~ Y/n come on don’t be shy to admit” Jake teased before sitting beside Areum, his girlfriend.

It was times like this where Y/n wished fate didn’t play with her, after all, Jay was the love interest in her story, but she doubted she was even his.

They were all in a friend group, and everyone’s always teased Jay for liking Kelly from the other class. It was just inevitable at this point, but why did she keep going? Because she loves him, even if it brings her pain.

“Guys, hang out at my place?” Jake suddenly piped up, and they all looked at him curiously.

“Oh wait! You got your room renovated right? We should go” Sunghoon said as he snapped his fingers, and Jake nodded.

“When?” Y/n said, and took a glance at Jay, who gave her a nod. She immediately looked away and averted her gaze towards Jake and Areum again. “Tomorrow at five” the group agreed and continued talking, meanwhile Y/n played with her hands, it was just a nervous habit.

School went by like a breeze, and it was already lunch time. “Guys! I’ll head first so we have a spot in line, I heard they’re serving strawberry shortcake today and Jake will make sure we have a spot in the garden!” Areum said, and the rest nodded before putting their things away.

“Can you both wait for me? I’ll go to Kelly’s class really quick” Jay said, and it felt like a stab in the back to Y/n, but her and Sunghoon nodded at Jay as they walked out the classroom.

Walking to Kelly’s classroom, Sunghoon and Y/n had stood outside as Jay called for her.

“Is Kelly here?” the boy asked, and Y/n saw the girl approach him. They both seemed to talk well when Jay suddenly pulled out something from his pocket. “Jay you shouldn’t have!” Kelly exclaimed, and Y/n peeked at whatever Jay was giving her. It was a dainty Tiffany and Co. heart charm bracelet.

Y/n visibly gasped softly, and Sunghoon had seemed to notice this. “Thank you so much!” Kelly smiled while Jay opened his arms for a hug from her.

“Since when were they a thing?” Y/n whispered to Sunghoon, trying not to give away the fact that she liked him.

“Like two weeks ago? Jake and I just found out a few hours ago” Subghoon whispered back, noticing that Jay was already approaching them.

“Hey, you two ready to go?” Y/n nodded, pained, and Sunghoon beside her also nodded as the three walked off. “Congrats on you and Kelly by the way” she said, while Jay looked perplexed.

“O-Oh, thanks” he stuttered out, and they all exited the school building, heading to the garden where they spotted Areum and Jake.

“Took you three long enough! Now come on” Areum huffed and patted the seat beside her for Y/n. As Y/n slipped into the seat beside Areum, she suddenly whispered to her.

“They’re together now, two weeks” and Areum was dumbfounded but kept her composure. “I’ll kill him” she whispered back, but Y/n hit her and shook her head. Maybe love wasn’t for her.

After their last period, arts, Y/n had stayed behind to finish up her art piece. Being the only one left meant there was only silence, but then she heard two voices outside the art room.

“Jay you’ve always been so sweet to me, I love being your girlfriend…” Kelly, she almost forgot. Y/n dropped her paint brush, dusted off her skirt and left her school blazer on the stool next to her, then she stared out the window. Suddenly she heard someone come into the room, to which she turned to.

It was Sunghoon, who smiled at her sheepishly. “Hey, I thought you were going home with Jay and Jake” she smiled at the boy, who only walked closer to her.

“Nah, Jake and Areum are going on a date, and well, Jay and Kelly are going home together, so it’s just you and me” Sunghoon said, but then he suddenly stopped by Y/n’s easel.

“I love your painting” Y/n approached him and sta red at her painting softly. “Thank you, it was inspired by the love I crave” Sunghoon looked on, until he suddenly stared at her.

“You know what, you might like Jay, but why don’t you give me a chance?” Y/n was taken aback, but raised a brow at the boy.

“Are you sure? You already gave me your heart…” Y/n trailed off, but Sunghoon held her hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I’m ready whenever you are” and smiled, maybe the one who’s for you was always the one you’d least expect.

© 2021 all rights reserved | rikiszn on tumblr.

“Natural” - Chapter One- Embry Call x Reader

Coming Home

After almost two years, I finally got to come back to Forks. We had to move for my dad’s job temporarily, which was truthfully my biggest nightmare. I was stuck living in Texas; rotting away in the sun and overbearing heat. I had missed all my friends, while I tried to contact them as much as I could, it was super difficult to keep our contact as much as I would like-- especially due to their mysterious disappearances at times. 

I left our sophomore year of highschool, something we were all supposed to go through together, alas I did it alone and miserable. Yeah we would’ve gone to two different high schools, but to be able to hang out every day as we usually did was something I would’ve killed for.  I just was happy that I can assume they all had a better experience since they were together. 

We were such a tight knit group of friends, thanks to my dad being great friends with Billy Black. It was Jake, Quil, Embry, and I against the world. Though, if I were to be honest, Embry was the first guy I ever had a crush on. Since we were kids, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. I think only Jake knew, as he was the first friend I ever made. The constant behind the scenes teasing was something I could never forget. 

Part of me wonders that if I ever left, would Embry and I have ended up together? I always felt that the feeling probably was mutual, but the fear of ruining the best friendship ever was a lot to consider. I never pushed, and neither did he. Though, before I left-- we did kiss. 

That kiss was enough to leave me with the feeling of a thousand suns bursting in my soul. I never wanted to let go of Embry. But it was something we never discussed further. I’m still not even sure why not, probably because me leaving hurt us all a lot. We often still add music to our shared playlist, though. I would have to make it a point to myself for my own sake that I don’t get my hopes up for nothing. 

Over the years, I’ve never been so thankful for technology. I still got to, as I said, rarely watch them all grow up seemingly overnight. The haircuts last year really threw me through a loop, but I never pressed. It made me sad to see Jake and Embry cut their hair, I loved their hair. The excitement that I felt to see them again was raging inside of me. They had no clue I was coming back so soon. I told them I would return after graduation in the summer, but they had no idea I meant that week. 

As we pulled up the small house in Forks, I could barely contain my excitement. I followed my father’s car in my own, watching the moving truck unload everything into our new house. 

We both exited our respective cars, meeting up for a nice side hug on the front lawn, admiring the new house. 

“You talked to Billy, right?” I ask him. 

“Yes. He said the boys should be around, or at least Jacob would be. You can head over there soon.” He smiled at me, knowing that seeing the guys was the top priority for me. 

“Thank you, dad. I’ll help unpack, too. Don’t worry. I just miss them so much.” I say, almost tearing up at the thought of them. 

I walked into the house, finding my room. I dropped what I brought with me in my car off. I smiled at the thought of being back home. I was going to love decorating my new room. I was going to love the environment again, the woods. Everything. I looked out my window and admired the patch of woods I was blessed to have nearby. I would have to explore those soon. I smiled at the thought of smelling the pine trees and the earth underneath my feet. I would have to drag the guys on hikes again. 

I grab my keys, phone, and wallet and throw them into my small bag. Walking down the stairs avoiding the moving guys as best I can. 

I start my car, driving down the long and winding roads to the reservation. Smiling like an idiot, before the nerves kicked in. 

What if they changed so much and would hate me now? What if they don’t want me around? What if Embry wants nothing to do with me? Even worse, what if Embry had a girlfriend? 

I tried to shake the thoughts away, knowing it would only ruin the surprise. 

Before I knew it, I pulled up to the Black household. I got out of my car, walking up the path to the front door, knocking. 

The door swings open to Billy smiling. 

“I can’t believe you’re here, kid. I missed you!” He rolls backwards, letting me in. I hugged him hello. 

“I can’t believe it either.” I said, smiling. 

“You grew up so much. I can’t even believe it.” He looks at me, smiling like a proud uncle. 

“It’s crazy right? I can’t even imagine how big they all got. In pictures they look huge.” I laugh.

“Oh yeah, they got huge. Jacob and Quil should be here in a few minutes, I sent them out to go get swedish fish. Your favorite.” He laughed. 

“Oh, so they’re bringing me a snack without knowing?” I laugh.

“Yeah they are. Please, come sit down.” He directs me to the couch. 

I thank him and walk over, plopping down. We had some small talk for a few minutes before we heard the boys coming back. The doorknob began to open and I felt my heart almost leap through my chest. 

“We got the swedish fish. But why did we have to get them? You don’t even like-.” Jacob stops talking as he sees me sitting on the couch. 

Quil looks at him confused, before seeing me for himself. His face lights up. 

“No fuckin way.” Quil says through an ear to ear grin. 

“(Y/N)!” Jacob runs over to me, I stand up before he picks me up, spinning me in a hug. 

“When did you get here?” He asks me, smiling like a kid on Christmas.

At least they were happy to see me. 

“Forks? About an hour ago. Your house? Like ten minutes ago.” I laugh. 

“You’re back for good?” He asks, still not letting go of me. 

“Yes. For good, finally.” I smile. 

“Okay okay, it’s my turn.” Quil says, pushing past Jacob to engulf me into a rib-crushing hug. 

I noticed how they were both burning hot as Quil didn’t let go of me. 

“Jesus, you’re both burning up. Are you guys sick?” I ask concerned.

“No, we just run hot.” Quil smiles. 

“Oh, okay… So when did you guys get so… massive?” I ask, practically looking up at them. 

“About a year or so ago. You missed a lot, sweetie.” Quil says, messing up the hair on my head. 

“You guys have matching tattoos?” I ask, pointing to their arms. 

“Wow, (Y/N). You’re observant today.” Jacob laughs.

“Yeah, it’s for the tribe. A lot of us have it.” Quil says, looking at his arm before back at me.

“Oh, that’s really nice. They look great.” I smile at them. 

“So, now that we have this surprise, we have to figure out plans for tonight.” Jake looks between Quil and I. 

“Well, I have a patch of woods by my house. I planned on going on a hike myself tomorrow morning or tonight if I didn’t get home too late. Would you guys wanna do that?” I ask, looking at them. 

“Woah, by yourself?” Quil almost shrieks. 

“Yeah, what’s so bad about that? A lot of bears or something?” I laugh. 

“Yeah, there’s been a lot of bear attacks. We’ll go with you.” Jake offers, glancing back at Billy, who seemed to nod in approval. 

“Oh okay, cool. You could also help me put my room together if you guys want, take a peek at the new house.” I poke Jacob’s arm, knowing they would be great to help me move furniture. 

“Wow, already trying to recruit us?” Quil laughs. 

“Maybe. Or maybe I just need help moving furniture into the best spots?” I smile at them, pleading with my eyes. 

“Okay, let’s go.” Jacob rolls his eyes, playfully shoving me. 

“Okay, I’m parked right outside, I’ll drive. Bye Billy, it was great to see you.” I smile at him, hugging him goodbye. 

“Goodbye, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon, right?” 

“Of course. You’re gonna be sick of me soon!” I yell back at him. 

“Never!” He laughs. 

The boys and I walk over to my car and begin the drive to my house, blasting music and singing like absolute psychopaths. 

We pull into the driveway and they greet my excited father. They talk for a few before I drag them upstairs to help me move my furniture. 

“Jake, you got buff. Like really buff. What happened?” I ask in shock as he moves my dresser with seemingly no effort. 

“Hey, I got buff, too.” Quil says defensively, moving the other dresser with just as much ease. 

“I see that. Jeez, I missed a lot.” I chuckled, looking down sadly. 

“Well, we get to make up for lost time, now.” Jake smiles. “I can’t wait, I’ve missed having friends.” I admit, laughing. 

“You definitely friends in Texas.” Quil scoffed. 

“Nah, not really.” I purse my lips, stifling my chuckle. 

“Well, you have us again. Plus our friend group expanded greatly, so you won’t be bored anymore.” Quil offers, earning a hesitant look from Jacob. 

“Anyone I know?” I ask. 

“Yeah, you’ll remember them. Jared, Paul, Sam, Leah, and some others.” Jacob says. 

“Oh wow, that’s great that you all hang out a lot now.” I smile. 

“Yeah, it is.” Jacob says, looking at the bed. 

“Where do you want the bed?” Quil asks. 

“I can help you guys with that, it’s really heavy with the mattress on it and everything. But I want it in that corner by the window.” I point.

Without missing a beat, the two boys pick up the bed with ease and move it, leaving me surprised. 

“Or not.” I smile. 

They look back to me, smiling. We finish moving everything else around, taking much less time than I thought it would. 

I look around in astonishment, impressed with how quick that was.

“Wanna go for that hike?” Jake offers. 

“Yeah, of course.” I grin, leading them out of my room and out the back door. 

We walk around, exploring the new environment. 

I found a fallen log, walking across the top of it. 

“If you’re as clumsy as I remember, maybe this isn’t your best choice.” Quil laughs. 

Jacob turns, looking at me with impressed eyes as I make it to the end of the log with no slip ups.

“See, I’m fine.” I smirk, right as I trip over my own feet as I went to jump off the log. 

Quil catches me right before I fell into the dirt. 

“Yeah, you’re fine.” He mocks.

“Thanks, Quil.” I nod at him. 

We continued going deeper into the woods, they wanted to hear all about Texas and how much I hated it. 

“So, how bad is the bear thing? I really can’t go hiking alone?” I ask as the sun begins to set, causing us to head back to Jake’s house to watch movies. 

“Uh, really bad. It’s like a real issue here right now.” Quil says, looking at me and then back to Jacob.

“Damn. That sucks. For you guys. Because I’m probably gonna drag you out a lot then.” I smile at them. 

“That’s fine. Works for us.” Jacob smiles. 

“Embry’s gonna shit himself when he sees you.” Quil laughs. 

Embry. 

How I wished he was here. 

“He will.” Jacob laughs, winking at me behind Quil’s back. 

“Oh I’m sure.” I say sarcastically, trying not to blush from Jacob’s silent remark. 

“What? We were all inseparable growing up, just because you were gone for a while doesn’t mean he’ll feel differently.” Quil said. 

“I guess that’s true. Where is he, anyway?” I ask. 

“He’s helping Sam with something.” Jacob answers quickly. 

“Okay... I’ll surprise him tomorrow if that would work.” My voice trails off, eyebrows raised in suspicion. 

“Perfect.” Quil smiles. 

We finally get back to my house, getting into my car and driving over to Jake’s. The drive was once again way too much fun. I missed my best friends. 

“So what’re we gonna watch?” I ask, shutting the car door behind me. 

“I figured Pineapple Express?” Jake offers. 

“Oh god, yes.” I agree excitedly. 

“Great movie.” Quil interjects. 

We begin watching the movie a little after 9:30. 

It starts off with a lot of laughs, but at one point I feel my eyes involuntarily opening and closing. 

My head bouncing up and down, fighting the urge of sleep. 

I wake up to hearing the sound of a guy talking to us, I just didn’t know who it was. I look over at the time, a little after 11:45-- the movie was over. We all fell asleep. I blink my eyes a few times, trying to see what’s going on. 

The man is tall, not as tall as Jacob but taller than Quil. He was just as buff as, if not more, Jake, bigger than Quil for sure. 

Jacob is still knocked out, able to sleep through anything just like I remember, and Quil was stirring awake. 

“Hey, assholes. You’re late. You were supposed to be at Sam’s at 11:30.” He scolds, throwing a pillow at Quil to finish the job of waking him up. 

“Oh shit, what time is it?” He wakes up, beginning to panic. 

“Embry and I are done. It’s your turn, but Embry can’t go to bed until your asses get up and take over. It’s your turn for patrol.” He throws another at Jacob. 

“Paul.” Quil said sternly, nodding his head over to me.

Paul looks over at me, realizing that I was in the room. 

They must’ve not known I was awake and listening. 

“Don’t wake her up.” Quil says quickly. 

“It’s okay, I’m up. I should probably get home anyway. Then you guys can go help your friend with whatever you have to.” I say, yawning. 

“And who are you, pretty lady?” Paul looks at me, smiling. 

“I’m (Y/N).” I smile back, trying not to blush at the compliment. 

“Oh shit, no way. I haven’t seen you in years, I couldn’t even tell in the dark. These guys talk about you all the time.” He smiles as he steps forward. 

I get up and give him a tired hug hello, noticing that he, too, feels hot like Quil and Jake. He also had the same tattoo as them, I wonder if the whole friend group had it. 

“You look great.” He smirks at me. 

“You got huge, too. What the hell happened to all of you?” I ask sleepily, laughing a bit. 

“Just a lot of working out, I guess. Even though I was massive before you left.” He elbows my side lightly. 

“Oh, Paul. You haven’t changed one bit, huh?” I joke. 

“Nope, guess not.” He says. 

“Jake, get up.” Quil says, shaking the boy in his sleep. 

“What?” He groans.

“Get up, pretty boy. You’re late.” Paul says, walking over to wake him up. 

“Oh shit.” He says, jumping out of the seat like his ass was on fire. 

“What are you guys helping him with so late?” I ask. 

“Uh, they’re helping him with some work around the house. A pipe is leaking, we tried to help, but Jacob and Quil are gonna fix it. Because we couldn’t. So, yeah.” Paul says, smiling at me. 

“Ah, I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it. Text me in the morning, let me know a good time to come surprise Embry tomorrow.” I say, walking out of the house. 

“You got it. We’ll call you.” Quil hugs me goodbye, followed by Jacob. 

“I’m so glad to have you back, (Y/N).” Jacob smiles at me. 

“Me too.” I smile, walking out the door and leaving the house behind. Pulling away from his house I see them all walk outside, waving goodbye. 

 _________________________________

Word count: 2756

This is part one of the series I accidentally started today. I hope you all enjoy!

 I  II  III  IV  V  VI  VII  VIII  VIIII  X  XIR XIE  XII  XIII  XIV  XV XVI  XVII  XVIII  XIIII

Helluva Dad Vol. 4: Spring Broken

Bombproof just had to get a cold; it was nothing serious, but he'd need to rest for a few days, meaning that Striker and Jake would have to ride the I.M.P. van to get to work. It might have been a more-or-less intriguing experience if not for the radio music playing at full volume and Blitzo's careless driving. Striker spent most of the ride covering his ears while Jake was peering through the window alongside Millie.

This is why he'd rather ride Bombproof to work.

"Daaad! Can we ride the van with uncle Blitzo more often?!"

"Over my corpse!" Striker shouted over the noise. "Get away from the window, boy! The last thing I want is you losing your head!"

"But it's so fresh out here, dad!"

"Now!"

Jake groaned and went to sit next to his father with an unhappy scowl on his face. "Killjoy."

"Is this your first time riding a van?" Millie asked curiously.

"No, it's my first time riding a van with a crazy driver!" Striker banged on the wall separating the back with the driver's seat. "Hey, Blitz, can't you go any faster?!" he snapped sarcastically.

Jake's face had gained a somewhat greenish hue and his arms were clutching his stomach. "Dad, I think I'm gonna hurl!" he groaned.

"Kiddo, whatever you do, don't hurl on the carpet or Blitzo will deduct it from this month's paycheck! If anything, hurl on Moxxie's fanny pouch!"

"Hey!"

The van making an abrupt turn to get into the parking lot was the last straw for Jake. As he rushed towards the window, the vehicle came to a sudden stop and skidded. Jake would have flown out of the window if Striker hadn't grabbed him by the tail, but the vomit went up to Jake's stomach, all the way to his throat, and flew out of his mouth.

"Are you okay, my boy?" Striker asked, concerned, as he cradled the impling in his arms.

"I hate vans," Jake grumbled, earning a hair ruffling from his father.

"Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tampon race car out of my parking spot…!"

Blitzo's voice brought the stunned group out of their daze. Striker stomped out of the van, intending to pummel Blitzo for the awful experience, but stopped in his tracks as he saw the cause of the problem. A pink car had parked on I.M.P.'s only parking spot. And the owner of the car was none other than…

"Oh shit! Verosika!"

The succubus didn't seem to hear him or didn't care. She was seething with rage, her face dripping with vomit. Jake flinched when her eyes fixed on him.

"I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd because I believe the nearest ocean is…" Blitzo fell off the van's cabin, faceplanting on the ground. "Three rings down!"

Verosika outright ignored Blitzo this time and stomped her way towards the van. Jake hid behind his father.

"You little brat-!"

"Whoa, whoa, hold your horses, miss!" Striker stood to his full height. The succubus was taller than him, but he never faltered. "My boy didn't to… Well, throw up in your face."

"You should be grateful! You got a facial treatment for free!" Blitzo sneered. Verosika looked like she'd snap at any moment, but she merely huffed and wiped the vomit from her face with a napkin, which she then threw at Blitzo's face.

"I suppose you're the fella who spawned that brat, am I right?" She asked, uninterested.

"I'm the boy's father, that's right." Striker nodded. Is it just him or is the succubus eyeing him eye to toe behind her sunglasses?

"You ought to teach that little spawn of yours some manners, cowboy." Verosika purred the last word in a seductive manner, running her hand down Striker's chest, leaning a bit too close for his liking.

Thankfully, Blitzo got in between them. "I'm surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab," he growled. "I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching unto that beelze juice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!"

"They let me out because I'm still famous, and rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups." Verosika took a sip from her flash, sneering as she wiped some drops left on her lips. "So, your sister says hi." Jake made a 'burned' hiss. Striker gave him a stern frown.

"Why are you parking here?! This is the only parking spot my company has, so take your tampon race car somewhere else!"

"Um, Blitz…" Jake pointed at the ground. I.M.P.'s name was crossed out in purple spray paint while Verosika's was written in cursive letters.

The succubus smirked. "I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building…"

"Dad, who's that nasty woman?" Jake asked.

Loona gasped as if the impling has just spoken blasphemy. "Wait, you don't know about Verosika Mayday?"

"Not exactly. I mean, I've seen her in dad's porno magazines, but-" Jake quickly covered his mouth, but it was too late. He laughed nervously when his father stared at him in shock. "Just to clarify, dad, I didn't read. I skipped!"

"I'll talk with you about this later." Striker hissed.

Thankfully, an angry yell from Blitzo distracted them from the argument. "I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that."

"You know Verosika Mayday?!" Loona asked, incredulously.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, her. Yeah, we dated."

"That explains a lot of things." Striker murmured as Millie and Moxxie stepped out of the van.

"Was it before or after she became a pop star?"

"You dated a pop star?!"

Blitzo frowned. "Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?"

"Hello, it's Verosika Mayday?" Loona pointed out.

"It's you?" Jake added dryly.

"I just… Is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage? I mean, it'd make sense if she had dated Striker."

The cowboy rolled his eyes. "Gee, thank you, Moxxie, but she's not my type."

"Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be." Blitzo crossed his arms. "I don't pry into your stupid personal lives."

"You do that all the time, sir!"

"Come on, you kinda do that."

"You totally do that."

"Do I have to remind you all the times I've nearly shot you for sneaking into my house at two in the morning?!" Striker snapped.

"So…" Jake grinned mischievously. "What was sex with her like?" He yelped in pain when his father gave him a smack in the back of the head.

*HB*

Jake didn't quite understand what the fuss was about. From what Millie and Loona said, Verosika Mayday was a musical pop star, but dad wouldn't let him listen to her music; when questioned as to why he couldn't, all dad said was that it was for 'adults'.

In the end, Striker managed to distract his son via target practice. Millie would place an apple on her head so Jake could shoot it with the crossbow; Striker was quite surprised that she wasn't frightened in the least.

"Hey, Blitz, what did you do to Verosika Mayday for her to hate your guts like that?" Striker questioned casually.

"It was nothing, really! I merely borrowed her credit card when she was still sleeping and went to Wrath to take horse riding lessons!"

"Well, no wonder she's so mad."

"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side."

Striker shrugged. "Sorry, but you're on your own when it comes to relationships."

The door slammed open, startling Jake into shooting the arrow a few inches down, but Millie caught it with a hand. Moxxie looked disheveled, and his face was covered in lipstick marks. All he said was that he needed to lay down as he dropped to the floor. Millie went to check on him.

"What happened to Moxxie?" Jake asked. Striker shifted uncomfortably.

"Let's say that he received too much love," he murmured.

"But it wasn't from Millie, she's right here."

"Oh, Strikeeer!" Blitzo sang as he leaned in closer to the cowboy with a wide, exaggerated smile. "Do you know what's the best part of being the employee of the month?"

"Let me guess: to do you personal favors so you won't have to face your shitty issues yourself?"

"Bingo! I was wondering if you could use your… natural charm," Blitzo quirked his eyebrows coyly. "To have that bitch give back our parking spot."

Striker dropped Moxxie's cup of coffee. "What?"

"You know, a little bit of sweet-talking, flirting. Maybe some oral sex-"

"I know what you mean, Blitz! What I mean is why me."

"Well, you're a ladies' magnet. I don't think you'd have trouble convincing a drunken slut to give you all of her assets."

Striker wasn't sure of how Blitzo always, always, manages to convince him to do that kind of stuff, but in the end, he agreed to try 'without' having to recur to sex. He didn't need to go far, as the band of succubus had taken the vacant offices right in front of I.M.P. Well, no wonder Blitzo was so mad! Meeting up with your ex and finding out you'd have to be in the same building for a bloody week wasn't pleasant.

Striker took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Apparently, the succubus band was still making fun of Moxxie's probably tiny dick. They went silent as soon as he came in.

"Well, look who it is."

"Greetings, miss Mayday." Striker tipped his hat for the sake of courtesy. "I suppose I don't need to explain why I'm here."

"Want a kiss, cowboy?" one of the incubi got a little too close to his liking, prompting Striker to point the barrel of his pistol right at the demon's face.

"Put a hand on me and I'll put a bullet in-between your eyes." the imp hissed, tail rattling.

"Oh, look! His tail is like a baby rattle!"

"Hey, did that cute little impling come with you? I want to eat him with kisses!"

This time, Striker pulled out his angelic pistol. "Leave the boy out of this," he growled, expression dark. The sight of the weapon scared the succubi into silence, all but one.

"Well, well, you certainly have more balls than the little guy with the bowtie." Verosika purred, hips swaying as she approached him. "Too bad I already got a bodyguard, 'cause you look like you'd be good at that." she gently pushed the barrel of the pistol aside with a finger, leaning dangerously close to Striker's face. "I suppose Blitzo is still throwing a tantrum over the parking spot, right?"

"That's right, ma'am." Striker stepped back warily, putting his pistol away. "Perhaps we could reach an agreement, considering that…"

He's dealt with succubi before, but never in such a personal manner. Not ever since… Striker knew what was happening when he realized he had been cornered against the wall. Verosika's hands lay on his chest as she leaned in close to his face. His tail rattled uncontrollably. His bottom tightened at the she-devil's enticing aura.

"An agreement, you say?"

"Y-Yes…" Striker cursed himself for stuttering.

Verosika pulled him closer by the waist, licking her lips. "You have such alluring eyes, cowboy. Reminds me of an anaconda hypnotizing her prey…" Striker grabbed her wrist before she could reach for the zipper of his pants. Verosika laughed, running her other hand down the line of his neck. "Let me kiss you…"

Her lips were inches away from Striker's when she heard a click and something pressing against her stomach: the blessed pistol, firmly held in the imp's hand.

"Nice try, sugar, but my heart already belongs to someone else." Striker sneered. Impressed, Verosika stepped back, smirking.

"Not bad, cowboy. Not everyone can resist my charms. Just for that, I'm offering you a deal."

"A deal?"

"A demon duel. I bet you and Vlitzo's sorry company can't off as many people as we can fuck by the end of the day. If you win, I'll return your parking spot. If I win," Verosika whispered into Striker's ear. Whatever she told him sent shivers down his spine.

Reluctantly, Striker looked up at the succubus, fists clenched. "Game on, bitch."

*HB*

"Alright, shut your assholes, here's how we're going to do this shit. First, we find a fuck ton of clients, we portal up, we have our fun murder time as per usual, we pill all the bodies into a big fucking canoe…" Striker didn't pay attention to the rest of Blitzo's ranting, instead distracting himself by polishing his angelic rifle. "Do you have any questions?"

Jake raised a hand. "What does orgy mean?"

Striker spat his mouthful of coffee right into Moxxie's face while the others exchanged nervous glances. Blitzo cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Let's say it's something you aren't supposed to know about for at least ten years. Now-"

"Where did you learn that word?!" Striker all but yelled, grabbing the impling by the shoulders.

"One of Verosika Mayday's songs is called 'Orgy' and I got curious."

"And where did you hear the song?"

"Loona was listening to it." Striker glared at the hellhound, but she merely shrugged.

"What? It's just a song. By the way, think I can come with you guys this time?"

"Absolutely not," Blitzo said, crossing his arms disapprovingly. "I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of freaks yup there who'd drool all over you!"

"Well, I can blend in with humans easily enough. Just let me tag along."

Blitzo blinked. "Wait, say that again?"

"I can blend in…?"

"Do you have a human disguise?" Millie inquired.

"Yeah. Don't you?" Loona widened her eyes in realization. "Wait, you five have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time without human disguises?!"

"What if we did?" Jake asked.

"Let's say it's against the rules to be seen by humans in our real forms."

"Okay, new plan!" Blitzo made a new, crudely-made scribble. "Loonie can help lure the humans to us and we'll take care of the rest. Okay, how about that?"

"Flawless logic."

"There's one little detail. We need enough client killing demands to win this bet so I won't have to-" Striker trailed off as he recalled that Jake was listening. He cleared his throat. "How will we get so many clients in such little time?"

Blitzo grinned. "I got that covered, Strike."

*HB*

Basically, Loona just lured the people on the list to a secluded spot so they could kill them without anyone noticing. Jake still couldn't believe how hot Loona looked in human form.

Jake was sure that something was bothering his father. Ever since he returned from talking with Miss Mayday, Dad acted a bit… edgier than usual. He didn't tease Moxxie as often and focused more on killing the targets. But what gave him away was the fact that he was using the blessing-tipped rifle rather than the regular one. He only uses it when there's something on his mind.

By evening, they had killed twelve people, two offed by Jake with a broken bottle.

"That's twelve kills in the back!" Blitzo laughed as they continued to put the bodies into bags. "I'd like to see that waily snatch orgasm that many…"

"All right, spring breakers! Ya'll ready to get fucked up and make some bitchin' bad choices?!"

The group glanced in the direction of the nearby stage adorned in black and pink just as Verosika stepped out of the smoke in her own human disguise. All the humans on the beach roared in excitement as the concert began. Jake noticed something odd in their behavior. Once Verosika started to sing, they-

Something covered his eyes. "Hey!"

"You're not supposed to watch this, Jakey!" Millie cried out hurriedly. Striker gave her a thankful look.

"Goddammit! That bitch started her goadish mating call! Now she's gonna win all those sex maniacs! We gotta pick things up, guys! He's on the list, Loonie?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah… I-I think so." Striker realized that Loona hadn't even looked at the supposed target. Her attention was focused on Verosika's own hellhound.

"Blitz, I don't think-" Too late. Blitzo had already sliced through the human's skull.

"All right, next one, Loonie, come on." No reply. "Loonie? Wait, where-" Blitzo panicked once he realized Loona was nowhere to be seen. "Where's my baby?!" Striker merely pointed towards Verosika's hellhound. There she was.

"And… We've lost him." Moxxie sighed as Blitzo stomped his way towards the hellhounds.

"Can't blame him. I wouldn't like any guys sniffing 'round my daughter either." Striker murmured. "Anyhow, looks like we'll have to handle the rest of the list."

Millie laughed in excitement. "Hell yeah! Team MMSJ getting shit down!"

Jake wanted to help with the killing spree, but his father put him on a table behind some beer barrels, blindfolded him with his red scarf, and firmly told him to wait for him there. So the impling sat there with a big pout on his face, arms crossed. What's up with dad today?!

"Yeah, party!"

The table was knocked over without warning. Jake fell face flat onto the ground. "Ow! What the…?!"

"Eeww! Oh my god! Fucking possums!"

"Wait, what?" Jake lifted the blindfold and realized the humans had seen him. Before he could try to escape, he was grabbed by the tail and shoved into a barrel of beer.

"Ow! Jake?!"

"Moxxie?! What's going on?!"

"I don't know, I think the humans mistook us for opossums!"

The two imps were thrown about within that confined space, sometimes getting submerged under the beer. They accidentally ended up taking big gulps of the alcoholic beverage.

*HB*

"That boy is in so much trouble!"

He gives him one simple instruction: wait at the table. Then he returns ten minutes later to find Jake and the table gone.

"Hey, Mildred! Have you seen Jake 'round here?" Striker asked Millie as soon as he saw per peering into a barrel.

"He and Moxxie are inside one of these barrels!"

"What? What the fuck are they doing in there?!"

One of the nearby barrels wobbled. Striker tipped it over with a kick, spilling out the remaining beer as well as two familiar imps.

"Moxxie!"

"Jake!"

"Millieee!" Moxxie blurted out in a drunken state. "Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em!"

"Jake? Are you okay, kiddo? Striker grabbed his son by the shoulders. "Answer me, boy!"

"Hey, daddy! The impling said in-between hiccups." "This water's soo tasty! Can I have more?"

Striker rubbed his temple. "Wonderful. My kiddo's drunk and he's only nine."

"Chill out, cowboy! Just don't tell Striker 'cause he'll make a fuss!" Moxxie giggled.

Striker would have made a fuss if not for the massive sea monster that emerged from the ocean. A loud roar sent most of the humans running away from the beach, but Moxie and Jake were completely unfazed.

"Oooh, fishy! Can I keep it, daddy?"

A long, slippery tongue wrapped around Moxxie and Jake as they were pulled into the monster's mouth.

Striker and Milli exchanged determined nods. The former shot a nearby human to take his bottle and make a molotov cocktail, which he threw at the monster. The explosion was enough to make the creature fall. The imps swam towards the mutant fish, digging their respective knives into its hide just as it got back on its feet. They managed to climb towards the mouth and pry the jaws open; Moxxie and Jake, still in the tongue's grasp, were clumsily punching the monster's uvula. Millie reached out for their hands, but instead of clasping it, the drunken imps merely gave her a high-five.

"Oh, for the love of…!" Losing his patience, Striker went into the mouth and sliced the tongue off. The fish shrieked in pain and spat out the severed organ, and its two captives, with it.

However, the abrupt movement slipped the angelic rifle off Striker's shoulder and sent it down the beast's throat. "Oh, no, you don't! Mildred, think you could keep this thing busy?!"

"Striker, what are you doing?!"

The cowboy took out his knife. "I'm gonna retrieve my weapon."

*HB*

Millie and Striker swam back to the beach, both panting heavily. The latter was covered in the creature's blood after slicing open its entrails, his rifle held tightly in one hand and the bloodied knife in the other. They reunited with Blitzo, Moxxie, and Jake on the shore.

"Oh, yeah, way to show off, guys!· Blitzo cheered.

"Are Mox and Jakey okay?" Millie asked.

"Oh, yeah. They're fine." Blitzo looked down at the still-drunken imps in his arms and dropped only Moxxie to the ground.

Thankfully, Jake had fallen asleep; his young age made him less tolerant of the heavy alcoholized state. Striker carefully took the boy in his arms.

"Aww, they grow up so fast!" Blitzo chirped, teary-eyed, as he watched Jake snuggle in his father's embrace.

Sadly, the relief didn't last long as Verosika and her crew approached.

"That was handled rather… Obvious, don't you think?" Verosika sneered.

"You know, I found this," Striker held up a black and silver flask decorated with hearts. "While slicing through that creature's entrails," he smirked. "And I know for certain that it doesn't belong to any of us." That said, he tossed the flask back to its owner.

"Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world." Millie sneered.

"Oh satan! You all be so… fucked! Haha…!" Moxxie laughed in his drunken stupor.

Verosika was taken aback by the realization that they were right. "Yeah, well, you five nasty ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises." she countered.

"A human called me a possum. I'm not a possum!" Moxxie collapsed face-first into the ground.

"And given that the humans who saw us were in a deep alcoholic intoxication state, they'll probably think it was a product of their imagination." Striker added with a sneer of his own.

Blitzo chuckled. "You know, we could keep this little Bee movie scene on the down-low if you agree to let us use that parking space." Striker nearly laughed at the sour, almost childish scowl on the succubus's face. She was against the ropes and she knew it.

·...Fine."

While the others cheered at their victory, Striker merely sighed in deep relief.

"Hey, Strike, now that we're on it, what did that bitch say you'd have to do if we lost?" Blitzo asked later that day.

Striker's only response was a loud slurping sound with a straw as he enjoyed a well-deserved meatshake.

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow. 

Chapter 38

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“So...where exactly are you heading now, Talltail?” Jake asked hesitantly.

Talltail stalked through the undergrowth, ears perked, tasting the air for ShadowClan as he went. He didn’t want to go after them, but if his hunch was right, they might be his best clue for finding what he was looking for.

 “I’m sure this can’t be a coincidence,” he said. “Sparrow has always been untrustworthy, even his own family rarely knows where he is! I think he’s betrayed them to those ShadowClan cats. I just don’t know why.”

“Maybe they forced him?” Jake suggested.

“Or maybe Sparrow is just a fox-hearted bastard like I always knew he was. He doesn’t really care about any cat but himself. Whatever ShadowClan is doing out here, Sparrow will be there too. I can feel it.”

“Aaand your plan is…?”

“Not attacking a whole ShadowClan patrol if that’s what you're worried about. I want nothing to do with that bunch. If I can catch Sparrow alone for a moment, I may be able to get around personally confronting them.”

 He thought then of the conversation between Stonetooth and Raggedpelt he’d eavesdropped on when he’d passed through their territory. They were looking for wandering apprentices...Could something be happening behind their backs as well? For all his hate of ShadowClan, even Cedarstar wasn’t known to mess with outsiders against clan law so blatantly. But those younger cats had a strange vendetta.

 “Lool, we'll find your dog, and I'll keep a lookout. I just want to find where they’re all sneaking around, and then I’ll decide what to do,” Talltail said. “It’s possible these cats are acting on their own. I wouldn’t put it past Darkpaw’s friends to be tormenting random rogues just for fun.”

“Talltail,” Jake padded around ahead and stood in his way. “That still isn’t a plan. I feel like you're just throwing yourself blindly into one thing at a time and not thinking through what will actually happen. I know from experience that’s usually not a great strategy.”

“I know what I’m doing, Jake.” Talltail growled.

“Are you going to kill that Sparrow cat?” Jake’s voice was accusing but there was concern in his eyes.

For several heartbeats, they glared at each other in silence.

“I don’t know Jake. What did you think I was going to do?” Talltail’s voice quivered a bit. It almost surprised himself to say it out loud. But hadn’t the thought always been there somewhere, ever since he left? It angered him realizing he felt ashamed saying it. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to go into the details of this while Jake was still here.

“You don’t even fully understand what's happening!” Jake argued. “Whatever all this is, it’s got to be more complicated than one evil cat running around and doing bad stuff just for fun! You can’t really just mean to kill someone?”

“You don’t know how bad cats can be, Jake. Maybe I'm not as good as you thought I was, but I still have to do this.”

“You can’t think this is right,” Jake’s voice was pleading. “You’re just going to kill someone you barely know, and ignore everything around it?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think is right!” Talltail snapped and Jake winced slightly at the sudden sharpness of his voice. “This is what must be done. Sparrow deserves to pay, I won’t just let him walk away freely. This is the reason I came out here, it’s the only action I can take. I can’t fix the rest of the world, but I can do this, and I will.”

Jake didn’t break his glare. “Is this part of the warrior's code?”

“I don’t know. But I’m not a warrior anymore, I was never worthy of being one to begin with. So if I dishonor the code for this, it hardly matters. I’ve already dishonored my clan, at least I can make the world better off with one less rotten cat in it.”

“Who are you doing this for then?” Jake refused to move out of his way. “Your father again?” Talltail stared at him but Jake just continued. “Look, I didn’t want to say anything because I know a lot of this is over my head, but I do know what I see in you! And all I know is every time you look upset and I try to get you to tell me why, eventually it’s that cat you start talking about. First you're miserable and then you get mad and start looking for an excuse to do anything else so you don’t have to talk about it anymore. Why are you doing all this for a cat who made you so miserable?”

Talltail gritted his teeth. “I’ve told you, it’s not about me!” 

“But it’s your life, your decision, who else is it supposed to be about!? I can’t help but wonder if this thing you’re trying to do is actually going to make you feel better at all. I don’t want to see you get yourself hurt or do something you’ll regret. Do you really think this is going to fix anything that’s wrong?”

“It has to.” Talltail’s voice was hoarse. “There’s nothing else left that can. This mission is all I have left, that’s all there is to it. I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was. I’m not actually admirable, or heroic, I’m not even a warrior anymore. You don’t have a reason to keep standing by me.”

“I know I don’t understand a lot of things, but I know that’s not true.” Jake’s hostility melted away, replaced by sadness and worry. “I never liked you just because I thought you were some mythical warrior. I liked you because when I was alone and lost, I met a strange cat in the woods who did his best to help me. You helped even though it could have gotten you in trouble, just because I needed it. I met a gentle cat who didn’t want to hurt anyone unless he had no other choice. And I liked you because you listened to me when I talked and thought I wasn’t just a trouble-making flea-brain. I’ve felt more confident in myself when I traveled with you then I ever have! That’s why I stayed by you. And that’s how I feel, so you can’t tell me I’m wrong about it!”

Talltail felt the furious voice at the back of his head rearing up. He didn’t know why he was getting so angry hearing Jake say that. He wanted to scream No! No! You have got it all wrong, I didn’t even think that hard about helping you, it doesn’t say anything about me. How can you not get it!? How can you not see the truth about me!?

“You need to go home,” was the only response he eventually managed to choke out. Talltail didn’t want someone to try to make him feel better, and he didn’t have the energy to argue why Jake should see things the way he did. “You know where the scent trail you need to follow is, just head back through the trees. But this isn’t your journey anymore. It’s mine, and you can’t go with me.”

“What?”

“Go home, Jake. Go find Dusty. That’s more important.”

Jake looked utterly crestfallen. “Don’t make me choose that.”

“I’m not asking you to choose, I’m making the decision for you.” With that, Talltail wheeled and began to sprint. 

It was an unfair and abrupt way to leave, but Jake would never be able to catch up. Talltail’s mind was muddled with frustration. He couldn’t be around this questioning. It was wrong of him to let Jake stay so long. It was wrong to let himself get so comfortable. It had only made things harder.

Finally, he skidded to a stop. Talltail was standing alone panting in the quiet woods, glancing behind him, and already feeling guilty. He was supposed to help Jake home, but instead he’d gotten overwhelmed and left him alone. Just another cowardly act on the pile. His heart ached horribly in a way he hadn’t expected. He didn’t want to leave Jake behind like that, especially after they had gotten so close. Of course Jake wasn’t going to react well to all this, that’s why they were supposed to separate at the park. But instead all he’d done was get closer, and it wasn’t fair.  Not because Jake didn’t deserve it; if Talltail wasn’t the way he was, he might want to be with Jake forever. But sooner or later, Jake would see what he was really like. Was it better to just pull the thorn out quickly and stay away? 

But...surely Jake deserved more than that? A proper apology at least, not him just turning tail and running like a mouse. But how was he supposed to see his friend home now after snapping at him and fleeing like that?

Talltail wasn’t even sure where he was. He knew he was skimming clan territory now, though he wasn’t sure exactly where. ShadowClan scent crisscrossed through the bushes, fresh. His fur began to prickle as mixed among them he couldn’t help noticing another cat scent, distinctly not ShadowClan. 

He didn’t have long to think about his next course of action before a faint yowl in the far distance made him freeze. He listened with his ears pricked, wondering if he’d imagined it. An angry snarl echoing through the otherwise silent trees confirmed it was very real. Talltail looked behind him half expecting to hear angry ShadowClan warriors preparing to leap on him, but the sounds weren’t that close. His heart dropped instantly. Had Jake tried to follow him? There was no time to think it through, he just turned and ran faster than he ever had, paws carried by a sharp and awful surge of fear that shot through him and made his heart feel like it was going to claw out of his chest.

When Talltail saw the shape of a cat in a break of the undergrowth, he barely stopped himself, almost tripping over his own gangly legs. Then he felt his breath catch in his throat. 

The small dark cat had been watching something intently through the bushes, crouched and nearly hidden from view, but when Talltail stopped, they whipped around to stare at him with two different colored eyes widened with surprise. It took a heartbeat for Talltail to even fully comprehend who was standing in front of him.

 It couldn’t be as easy as just stumbling into him, after all his fruitless searching, right? It took only one heartbeat more for a burst of rage to rise up his belly. Sparrow, for his obvious confusion, immediately sensed the sharp hostility radiating off of Talltail like heat from a fire.

But the angry yowl he’d heard earlier passed the bushes ripped his focus away for just a moment. He knew Jake’s voice. That moment was all it took for Sparrow to flee faster than a startled bird. Talltail stared after him, frozen for only a heartbeat. But he couldn't give chase.

He burst into a clearing to see a whole patrol of cats, and an unfortunately familiar dark brown cat with a crook in his tail glaring down at Jake, who was picking himself up with a fresh red line over his eye.

“I don’t have time for you!” Jake snarled. Talltail couldn’t believe his boldness.

“Make time,” Darkpaw hissed. “I told every rogue and kittypet to stay out of these woods!”

“I can’t tell you how much I don’t know or care what you’re talking about. I’m busy!”

Darkpaw went to advance on him again, and Talltail threw himself forward, shoved past another startled apprentice, knocking them to the ground and smacked into Darkpaw, sending the obnoxious brute sprawling nose first into the grass. Jake leaped out of the way and Talltail stood in front of him arching his back at the patrol. Surprisingly, most of the patrol were clearly young. He recognized a new warrior, Clawface, Ashheart’s brother Frogtail, and three apprentices, some of which were too new for him to recognize.

“What sort of patrol are you supposed to be?” Talltail spat, as Darkpaw stumbled back into his rank, only regaining his boldness when he realized Talltail had come alone.

“None of your business, rabbit-chaser,” Darkpaw hissed.

Jake shouldered past Talltail to stand beside him. “We don’t care about you, so leave us alone!”

“You runts aren’t even supposed to be here, are you?” Talltail challenged. “What reason could you possibly have for being so far out? You don’t have any claim on this place, go back to your territory.”

The group advanced closer to them and Talltail had to step back. Apprentices or no, many of them were plenty experienced enough to be dangerous.

Darkpaw spit in his direction. “You’re not really in any position to tell us to do anything. I’ve just been looking around for potential connections. Seeing how useful rogues can be. The town wasn’t as promising as I’d hoped but it was worth a shot,” he shrugged.

Talltail glared at him. “Does your leader know you’re breaking clan law like that?” 

Darkpaw rolled his eyes. “All the clans break the law. Yours did too. There’s nothing actually holding any of them to keeping it, other than their word, which no cat has any trouble breaking. We have no choice but to do the same if we don’t want to be overtaken, and everyone will come to realize that in time. The other clans just make us worse, waiting pressed up against our borders to take advantage of us. The strongest warriors have to be wise enough to strike first, by whatever means necessary.”

“Warriors, huh?” Talltail scoffed. He shifted his gaze to Clawface, “and what sort of warrior takes orders from an apprentice?”

Clawface didn’t react. “I listen to sense. Wherever it happens to come from doesn’t bother me.”

Talltail darted his gaze around looking for some way to stall until he could think of a way out. But there was no obvious distraction presented to them like there was in the alley.

 A cold cruel glimmer flashed in Darkpaw’s eyes. “You know, sometimes I think age does a cat no good. They overthink. They cling to old useless ways, and hesitate in doing what obviously needs to be done. We, however, have no issues about it.”

Talltail was aware of Jake beside him, bristling but his fear scent was obvious under his aggressive demeanor. He didn’t have any ideas either.

“There’s probably a reason a cat your age doesn't have his warrior name yet. You think this will bring you closer to it?” Talltail shot back.

Darkpaw bared his teeth in a grin “Oh I’ll have it very soon, don’t worry. But it makes no difference to you anyway. We’re done talking now, you're boring me and I don’t need you to go tattling to anyone.”

Talltail glanced at Jake. They had to try to run, they couldn't fight this many cats, and Jake was already bleeding and trying to hide a limp. They could kill him, how am I supposed to protect him? 

Clawface lunged and Talltail swatted at him. The scarred warrior ducked his blow but Jake hit him across the muzzle with surprising strength and Clawface winced back.

“You’ll pay for that one kittypet,” he snarled. 

There was a growl from behind them, and another large apprentice began to advance. They were being surrounded.

Talltail had just begun to really panic when Jake perked up and turned away from Clawface, looking somewhere off into the trees.

“Are you ignoring m-- what in StarClan is that?” Clawface’s eyes widened as he followed Jake’s gaze. 

Talltail caught a stench he never thought he’d be so happy to smell. Heavy, thundering footsteps turned the ShadowClan cat's attention off them. There was a rapidly approaching wild rustling through the woods, the cracking of sticks and undergrowth being trampled, and then, an enormous grizzled furry shape came barrelling out of the bushes, bearing down on the startled patrol with yellowed sharp teeth flashing in the sunlight.

“By the stars, fall back! Retreat!” Darkpaw screeched, bowling over another apprentice as he scrambled to get away.

There was a cacophony of yowls and squeals as the massive dog ran straight at the cats with little heed for anything in his way. He stomped on several of them, massive teeth and tongue lolling in his mouth as he snapped the air over Clawface’s ear. No cat would be foolish enough to think their claws could pierce thick fur like that. The ShadowClan cats were gone in a moment, howling into the trees, leaving their former prisoners to their presumed slobbery fate.

“Dusty!” Jake leapt at his friend and headbutted his leg. Dusty simply wagged his tail and stared after the running cats. He looked as though he would have chased them if he wasn’t busy now drooling on Jake’s head.

“I take back every bad thing I ever said about that dog,” Talltail laughed nervously. Adrenaline was still coursing through him. That was way closer than the alley cats. Dusty turned to him and Talltail tried not to flinch away from his greeting sniff and the feel of spit dripping onto his shoulder. The mouse-brained dog hadn’t even needed to hurt the renegade ShadowClan cats. Talltail felt a bit of pride that he had nothing to fear from what he knew all too well appeared to be a horribly fearsome beast.

“You’re brilliant, Dusty, I knew your nose hadn’t gone that bad,” Jake purred louder than a rumbling monster. “I can’t believe you followed me all the way here, you big fluff-brain. Cris has got to be so worried about you!”

Something caught Talltail’s attention then. Dusty was panting harder than normal, as if the dash into the clearing had taken everything out of him. The old dog's deep brown gaze looked faraway as he licked his lips and sank to the ground. The way he panted and tensed, Talltail could tell something was wrong. He may not know a lot about dogs, but he recognized an animal trying to hide pain when he saw it. There was a peculiar scent on Dusty, one he’d smelled on him before, though it had been faint. But it was a familiar scent, one that made him nervous. A sick scent.

“Jake,” Talltail said “I think something’s wrong with him.”

Jake stopped and looked closer at Dusty who was half way between sitting and laying down, but looking like he didn’t want to do either. “What?” Jake mewed. “What’s wrong? Is it the sickness? It’s not bad again is it?”

Dusty hesitantly whined. 

“What sickness?” Talltail asked.

“The...The one I mentioned he had before. Cris took him to the vet and he came back smelling strange, like you did when you went, and his fur was shaved off on his belly. I think there was something inside him that was hurting him but...I thought it was gone.”

Talltail walked closer to the dog, who didn’t acknowledge him much, he was staring blankly ahead, breathing hard. He must hurt badly, Talltail thought, sympathetically. He sniffed at the dog's belly. It was hard to see anything through the fur. He was no medicine cat either, certainly not a dog medicine cat. What did abnormal look like? 

“I...Haven’t been paying close attention,” Jake sounded guilty. “Why? Is that bad?”

Talltail thought of Hen then, and realized what felt familiar. The scent, the sluggishness and pain in his step. Dusty has been really tired lately, Jake had told him.

“He shouldn’t have come after us,” Talltail said. “You need to get him home.”

Jake looked distressed “I-I will. Come on Dusty, I know you’re tired but I know the way back. It shouldn’t take long if we go straight there.” 

Dusty seemed to know what Jake wanted, and pushed himself to his paws to lumber painfully after, his head low and tail dragging. It really must have been hard to run like he did, Talltail thought. But he knew Jake was in danger. Talltail felt terrible ever doubting the dog. Who was he thinking dogs couldn’t love packmates as much as any cat? Even if he didn’t talk. 

“I’m so sorry, Dusty.” Jake mewled, his voice shook and the sound of it made Talltail’s heart ache. “I left without saying anything and worried you, you shouldn’t have had to come after me.”

Talltail watched them go for a moment, and found himself following slowly. He felt like he had stones filling his stomach up with the guilt that weighed him down. It’s not Jake’s fault he’s out here. He only left because I needed him to. They’d both be home where the twoleg could help.

He cast a quick glance over his shoulder to where the patrol had disappeared. To where Sparrow had disappeared. Talltail had suddenly come so close to his target, he almost couldn’t process it. 

But he had to follow Jake, no matter how close Sparrow was. He had to see them home. If anyone tried to follow them again, Dusty could only bluff a hostile patrol once.

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