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sttoru · 9 months

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𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

⟣ sypnosis. you had been in your first ever relationship with suguru for a couple months now. neither of you have taken your relationship to the next level; suguru was extremely patient and never brought the topic of sex up until you one day decide you were ready.

⟣ note. first fic for my event :3 i spent way too much time on this fic so it turned out very detailed, long, romantic and fluffy. i hope you all enjoy and appreciate it teehee. this post contains smut, proceed at own risk ! wc: around 6.1k

⟣ tags. soft dom!geto suguru x virgin!female reader. fluff + smut. slow burn. age gap (reader 20-ish, suguru around 29/30), little talks about insecurity, loss of virginity, breast play, edging, teasing, fingering, lots of praise, dirty talk, size difference!, p in v — unprotected (dont b like reader and use protection please), creampie, aftercare, suguru’s really romantic and just a softie for u, suguru being a good ‘dad’ to mimiko and nanako and teeny tiny bits of him secretly being a pervert.

never in a million years had suguru expected his girlfriend to be so upfront about such a big, personal decision. the thought of having you say those words had never crossed his mind.

“can you repeat that for me, sweetheart?”

could you blame him for asking you to clarify the words you’ve uttered? that man has seen you as an oblivious and innocent woman ever since the start of your relationship. of course, unbeknownst to him, your thoughts were anything but that.

you may be a virgin, but your mind was a place for the most lewd and nasty thoughts. it’s just that you’ve been scared of being intimate with a man—it’s frightening, especially when having heard the many online stories about how badly it could hurt. some say that such descriptions were over exaggerating, however your inexperience still lead you to believe everything you’ve read about the topic.

and then you started dating an older man named suguru. you’ve met him by chance at a mall in kyoto and he was the first one who approached the other. you remember how suguru politely asked you for some advice regarding what type of presents he should get for ‘two teenage girls’. of course, you agreed to helping him out and that’s how you two eventually ended up brainstorming about possible ideas in a cozy café.

once seated, chosen drinks in both your hands, you asked the man whether the gifts were meant for his daughters. somehow, that’s the first connection the neurones in your brain had made once suguru told you about the two teenagers he was picking out presents for.

you remember it vividly; the sweet, gentle sound of the laughter that accounted as your answer, the eyes of the then stranger looking rather nostalgic as they stared into the liquid in his cup. suguru responded vaguely; “i guess you could say that, yes.”

that little ‘date’—if you could call it that—ended on a wholesome note. suguru thanked you for your time and made sure that you safely got into the train you needed to take home. he did want to offer you a car ride, however he kept that question to himself since he knew that no woman would voluntarily agree to be taken home by a stranger. even if suguru had the purest of intentions.

there were a couple more dates that followed after that one; all where you both gradually got to know each other better. you’ve found out so much about suguru—the details about his own life being both fascinating and sad at the same time. likewise, suguru had also learned much about you. he always shows great interest in what you tell him, even if it’s a minuscule detail. he remembers it all as well—a feature which caused you to feel funny things in your stomach.

you realised you were catching feelings for that mysterious yet sweet and loving man; it was inevitable. the way he makes you giggle, his respectful and easygoing manner of speaking, the slight touches you two shared on accident.. all of it added to your little crush.

however, you didn’t actually think suguru was falling for you too. you only met up for a few times, plus, you seem out of his league—both due to your age gap and difference in the things you’re pursuing at the time. you were in college, trying to get your degree whilst he already had a job as a powerful leader of an organisation and was trying to achieve one of many goals with them.

there’s not a chance he’d like you, right?

wrong. you were confessed to a couple weeks after your first meeting and have been in a relationship for over 4 months now. it still felt like a dream; having your first boyfriend be such a gentleman. it truly felt like you already met the love of your life whenever he was near.

suguru’s been nothing but sweet and caring to you, has never asked you to engage in any sexual activities nor even ever dared to touch you in places you haven’t consented to. the furthest you’ve gone in terms of intimacy in those four months, were make-out sessions. just some tongue action here and there—adding sprinkles of neck kisses and hickeys.

there were times where you wanted to let things escalate, however you couldn’t bring it upon yourself to ask your lover. suguru wasn’t the person to decide your feelings for you either—if there was no verbal consent coming from your lips, he’s not going any further. even if he wanted to as well.

you were grateful that suguru was that willing to wait for you, no matter how long it might take. not only were you anxious of the possible pain the sex would bring, but it was partially due to the fact that your lover was much more experienced in that field.

what if you were lacking? what if it wasn’t satisfactory enough for him and he’d eventually leave you for it? it’s obvious that suguru wasn’t the type of man to actually do that, however you couldn’t stop the many possibilities from running free in your brain.

your change of mind was rather spontaneous; it was today when you suddenly came up with your final decision. you were staying over at suguru’s, the sun was out and he was sitting on his balcony, reading a book whilst sipping on his coffee. what caught your eye was his bare back and the muscles which were on display to you.

suguru was shirtless and the seams of light were making his skin glisten—the view making your own body hot and bothered. you bit your lip and approached your boyfriend from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before kissing his neck. that skin-to-skin contact made you sure of your decision; you needed him. in more ways than one.

that’s how you ended up saying what you said. the statement left suguru baffled since you uttered it in his ear out of the blue. he couldn’t deny one thing however; the idea certainly did send a shiver of excitement down his spine.

“i said,” you repeat with a little mischievous grin, leaning in closer to your lover once he turned around to face you properly—as if searching for any hints that your words were indeed not his imagination, “i wanna lose my virginity to you.”

it wasn’t. you actually said it—the words that would take your relationship a step further. although, suguru couldn’t help but wonder where your sudden decision came from. his hands found their way to yours and he held onto them like they were two delicate flowers.

“i’m happy to hear that, though i’m curious,” your lover starts off carefully as he places chaste yet soft kisses on your palms, “why so sudden?”

you shrug nonchalantly like you didn’t feel that twinge of nervousness in the back of your mind as you felt suguru’s lips on your skin. ‘it really was happening now, was it?’—that kind of feeling was the cause of your subtle anxiousness.

“well, ehh— you just looked good.. sitting there.. i guess.” you mumble, voice trailing off in embarrassment whilst your eyes darted around the balcony in attempt to avoid suguru’s gaze. your flustered expression and adorable confession makes him laugh gently. it was not a mocking laugh at all—more of an amused one;

“just when i thought you couldn’t get any cuter..” the long-haired man muses, the locks of his bangs grazing ever so slightly against your hands as he keeps holding them, “you never fail to surprise me, do you know that?”

suguru had a way with words that made you weak in the knees. or maybe it’s simply because he’s shirtless and kissing your palms so romantically. you don’t know which one it was.

“but, love,” suguru continues carefully as he stands up, your eyes following his as he towers over you, “are you a hundred percent sure? i don’t want to do anything you aren’t comf—“

“yes.” your answer cut your boyfriend off and he’s left in shock once more. your eyes were filled with determination, yet the faint glint of nervousness in them didn’t escape suguru’s sight. you’ve given your verbal consent and are even the first one to suggest the idea— what more could he ask of you?

there hung a silence between you two, the breeze blowing through suguru’s dark locks making him look even more majestic than he already was. you had no doubt about it; today was going to be the day. it had to be.

“then, if you’d let me have this,” his low voice sounded more sensual than it had ever been as his hand found its place on your cheek, fingertips rubbing against your ear, thumb softly pressing onto your skin—

a slow and romantic kiss followed straight afterwards. it had caught you slightly off guard, even when knowing fully well that this was what you were longing for.

his lips moved in tandem against yours, the soft touch making you feel certain emotions that you hadn’t even thought existed. this man whom you called your lover had never been unable to expose you to new sensations. and soon, he’ll grant you another one. a much pleasurable one.

one arm circled your waist, the other held up, hand on the back of your head to deepen the passion-filled kiss you shared. his lips parted your lightly trembling ones, the tips of your tongues attentively rubbing against one another as if to test the waters; was it fine to go further? are we actually doing this?

you were. it was set in stone as your throat formed soft noises of satisfaction, shaky breaths being exchanged by the two lovers on the balcony—not one of you realising that the weather was changing in the background. the sun was setting, creating the perfect mood for the situation as you were still engrossed by each other’s moves and touches.

it was only for the sake of catching your breath that you had pulled away. your cheeks felt hot, as did your entire body which was still pressed against suguru’s—chest to chest. the proximity was one you both had enjoyed many moments before, however this instant was unlike any other. you both knew as you stared at each other in silence, your quick breaths doing the talking instead.

“will you let me..” the voice of which you have grown to adore spoke to you, the owner grasping your attention once more by holding onto your hand. suguru’s fingers smoothly slid across your skin until they found the puzzle they were meant to complete—that being the gaps between your own fingers. once your hands were tightly intertwined, the man finishes his sentence;

“will you let me love you?”

his face was still close to yours as he uttered those beautiful words to you, warm breath lightly fanning the thin strands of hair on your cheeks to the side, lips subconsciously trying to brush against yours once more. but, they could wait. they could wait until the agreement leaves your mouth.

“of course.” the answer escapes before you could even register it properly. this makes suguru smile against your lips as he captured them in another sweet kiss. he muttered a small ‘thank you’ and then swept your legs off the floor—strong arms placed under your thighs to hold you up against his body whilst the hungry kisses continue.

suguru doesn’t know how he got there; carrying you over to his bed, settling you down onto the soft mattress, his body caging yours underneath him, eyes fluttering over every detail of your exposed skin. he hadn’t had you like this ever before; he hadn’t had you in his bed for a reason as sinful as this, only ever for cuddles or sleep.

“you’re beautiful.” the dark-haired man whispers as he carefully takes off the clothing covering your figure—the gorgeous skin his hands still have yet to explore. suguru can’t remember the last time he has treated anyone like this; like a treasure he’s had the honour to find and keep to himself. there hasn’t been a single woman in his life that he’s cared for this much—you’re the only one capable of mellowing him and his heart.

“stunning,” another compliment; another breath spent to praise you. your lover’s fingers teased the edges of your bra, lips kissing down your collarbone and towards the centre of your chest—each touch being done with precision. your bra became undone a second later and you let the straps fall of your arms, all the way until your breasts were fully revealed.

suguru’s breath hitches, mouth forming more saliva than in any previous instants, the liquid being pushed down his throat with a gulp. you didn’t have the chance to feel conscious of yourself in a moment like this; the dim light of the bedside lamp shone on suguru’s face, his lips glistening with a mixture of your saliva whilst his gaze was lingering on the new sight in front of him—he was utterly obsessed.

“may i?” his hands were already reaching out for the plump flesh and they came in touch once you nodded shyly. his palms were warm as they kneaded your breasts and his fingers brushed against your nipples, which made you whimper from how sensitive they were now that someone else has finally touched them.

suguru took notice of your reaction and put pressure on both small buds once again, thumbs rubbing your areolas in circular motions, “that good, princess?”

“mhmm— y-yes,” you mutter through a moan. your body was pushed further onto the mattress as your lover put more of his weight on you, your entire chest area getting covered by licks and kisses, slow and deliberate ones that left you yearning for more. suguru’s eyes gazed up at yours for consent once his parted lips hovered just above your sensitive nipples, his breath on them alone making you squirm already.

with another nod, suguru wasted no time taking one nipple into his warm mouth—wetting it with his saliva as his tongue slid around the area. his long fingers squeezed, twisted and pulled on your other nipple to give you both stimulations at once.

“mm, so good.” his muffled voice caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. suguru slowly lets his lips travel across your tits, sucking on them, even kissing down the curves until he reaches your torso. he gives that area the same amount of love and attention whilst your fingers were tangled around his smooth, long hair. suguru clearly seemed to enjoy the sensations; he let out small moans and hums against your bare skin to indicate that you should continue playing and tugging at his locks.

his tongue abruptly came to a stop right above the waistline of your panties—the barrier he was about to reach past for the first time. the hesitation was visible in his body language, however his fingers eventually tugged at the fabric, preparing to take it off.

your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched suguru slowly pull the last piece of cloth away. your thighs pressed together on instinct, stopping your panties from exposing your bare cunt.

“should i stop?” suguru asks with a raised eyebrow, fingers pulling away from your underwear now that he’s seen you close your legs. you didn’t want him to stop—it’s just the nerves that made your body move on its own command;

“please— no,” you shake your head, biting your lip as you swallowed your own saliva out of pure desire. you craved him now that it’s come this far, “need you. need you so bad, suguru.”

those words caused suguru’s brain to shut down. any irrelevant thoughts were thrown out of the window; the only thing his mind was telling him to do, was to take care of your needs. your body was laid out on his bed—trusting eyes looking up at his in anticipation, pretty hands grasping onto his sheets like it’d calm you down.

“i’m all yours, sweetheart.” suguru sighs, fingertips slightly shaking as he pulls your panties down to your ankles, eyes pausing on the revelation. to say that suguru was simply rendered speechless, was an understatement. that man was on the verge of letting loose of any self-control and just dive his face right between your thighs, eating you out like he’s fantasised of doing for a while now.

“fuck.” your boyfriend closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself before opening them to smile down at you—the handsome smile that was one of the many reasons you fell in love with him, “i’ll be careful. i promise.”

naturally, you nodded along. you’ve built up enough trust between one another during the past few months to let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. the palm of his hands patted your thighs slightly before spreading them apart, once again showing your glistening folds, a slight wetness to them from your own arousal.

suguru couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. he’d already have devoured your dripping cunt if it wasn’t for his self-control. but, it was your first time. he couldn’t rush into things just yet.

“thank you, baby.” the dark-haired man whispered under his breath. he was showing his gratitude for the sight you allowed him to see—a sight only he had ever seen before. the only man to be able to witness the beauty before him. that fact alone made his eyes darken in lust ever so slightly.

his fingers carefully slid across your vulva, your bodily fluid coating the skin which makes him shiver and his fingers get bolder. the cute sounds that filled his ears were only making this even better for him.

the way your hips bucked up slightly into his touch—just asking for suguru to take you right then and there—was driving him insane. every vein in his body felt like it could pop with how much he was restraining his own self from acting out of line. his finger easily slid into the little hole and suguru almost couldn’t believe it; your pussy was clamping down on his finger, your insides tightly wrapped around him to the point that even he wouldn’t know if his dick would fit in.

“hnnngh, suguru, please— wan’ your cock already,” that dirty sounding sentence was one he didn’t expect to hear from a virgin. it made him shake his head with a small, delighted chuckle; you really never failed to surprise him.

“i know you do,” suguru purrs, pressing kisses against the curves of your tits whilst another finger of his joined to stretch your pussy out properly, “but i need to prep you enough if you wanna take my cock. can you be patient for me, sweetheart?”

“m’kay. gonna try..” his fingers pumped in and out of you, the feeling of them curling up deep inside you made your walls squeeze against them. you’ve played with yourself before, of course, however it was then that you discovered that nothing could ever compare to the real thing: suguru’s long and slightly girthy fingers.

just when you thought that it couldn’t get any better, you felt a third finger—not inside you--but on your clit, rubbing the small bundle of nerves like you could’ve never done to yourself. suguru was so precise and exact with his actions which showed his experience. that’s another reason of why you’ve put all your trust in him. getting your virginity taken by a sweet, older and experienced man was probably ten times better than losing it to any guy your age, who were probably only out for sex.

suguru was there to make love to you.

your back arched once you felt suguru’s fingers increase their pace, the wet and squelchy sounds echoing through the room as they got louder the more your pussy got played with, his thumb almost overstimulating your clit to the point of release already—that’s how superb your lover’s hand movements were.

“no, no. can’t have you cum on my fingers like that.” you whine once you felt suguru take his fingers back the same moment you were about to reach your first orgasm by someone else’s hands. the older man smirks at this and kisses you on the lips, pulling away slowly with your bottom lip between his teeth, letting it lightly flop back into place as he lets go; “i wanna have you cum together with me, okay?”

you couldn’t refuse such a romantic request, thus you nod. suguru smiles back at you once more before his hands move to take off his sweatpants, tossing the piece of clothing to the side. your eyes widened as you were propped on your elbows, gaze lingering on the massive bulge formed at the crotch area, his boxers not hiding much of the shape.

once the underwear was off as well—that’s when you realised that your underlying anxiousness was not for nothing. suguru’s cock sprung free, it was slightly curved near his pink tip, drops of pre-cum flowing down the length. you haven’t ever seen a dick in real life, only ever on the internet, so this had left you stunned. you didn’t know what the average size was for a man, but there’s one thing you knew for sure: suguru was definitely way above the average size.

“cat got your tongue, princess?” he teased, his hand absentmindedly pumping his cock to the sight of your naked body underneath him. suguru didn’t even know that he started doing that in front of you; it was out of pure instinct. he couldn’t hide the excitement in his body, his shaft twitching in his hand as if it desperately wanted to feel your tight cunt around it.

“uhm, s-suguru..” you stammer a bit, biting your lip as your eyes followed his hand motions which got faster once your sweet voice called out to him. something about you looking a tad bit intimidated by his size made him want to destroy your insides to mush—have you beg him to fuck you as he bullies his whole length into your poor, small cunt.

“i know, i know..” suguru reassures you, free hand giving you a few consoling head pats, “i’ll try to make it as less painful as possible, okay?”

you hum and watch how your lover settles between your legs, spreading them enough to kneel before you, upper body bending forward to place soft pecks on your forehead; he was encouraging and preparing you more in his own way.

your arms instantly wrapped around his back, sweaty palms set underneath his shoulder blades—you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, just waiting on that moment. that feeling you’ve been craving, yet also have been avoiding.

you waited for a bit, however the only sounds heard and sensations felt were the slight dent in the mattress near one side of your body, the bed creaking faintly. suguru was leaning on side of his body, one arm stretched out to open a drawer, apparently searching for a condom.

once you realised what he was doing, you shook your head and tapped his back twice to regain suguru’s attention. his gaze immediately flickered over to yours and his head tilted to the side in curiosity; “i want the full experience—no condom, please.”

his eyes widened at the request. you seemed to be dead serious, eyes glinting determinedly, lips forming a little pout— it was impossible to refuse you, although suguru knew that he had to play the role of the older, more wise and experienced lover in the back of his mind.

he parted his lips to list off the reasons why you should let him use a condom, yet the words died on his tongue. you were impossible to say ‘no’ to. not when you’re looking up at him with those pretty eyes.

“whatever princess wants, princess gets.”

suguru prodded your entrance with the fat head of his cock, circling the hole and wetting it more by using a mixture of his pre-cum and your own arousal. you took another deep breath and tried your best to hold tightly onto your boyfriend, arms wrapped tightly around his back with your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck—bracing for impact.

“tell me if it hurts too much,” suguru whispers in your ear, leaving one last kiss on your temples before pushing his hips forward, folds stretching out and apart to allow his cock through and into your pussy.

did it hurt like you expected? yes. it most certainly did. maybe even worse than you were prepared for.

“fuck— nhhh, fuckfuckfuck!” you hiss whilst your nails dig into the skin of suguru’s back, probably leaving red marks because of how much you’re clinging onto him—like your life depened on it. that’s quite literally what it felt like to you; body being forced to part and make way for suguru inside you, pussy feeling like it was burning by how big of a stretch it was to fit him in—if he actually would be able to push all of his inches into your tight hole.

“sshh, shh, it’s okay, try to relax for me, yeah?” your lover comforts you the best he could, stilling his movements for a couple seconds before gently slipping his cock further into you. it pained him to see the discomfort written over your face, however you hadn’t made any clear signs of wanting this to come to a halt. in fact, you were encouraging him to continue whenever he stopped at any indication of hurt.

“i can take it.. p-promise,” you manage to moan out. suguru breathed in deeply at your words and nodded, kissing your lips in hopes to distract you from any pain you’re feeling, “you’re too good to me, sweetheart. really.”

both of you exhaled deeply as suguru finally bottomed out, a long minute of reassurance and pushing now behind your back. your eyes had watered up a little, chest heaving as you tried to accommodate to the new feeling inside of you.

“take your time.” suguru utters gently, voice sultry and sweet whenever its directed at you. his lips graze against your cheeks, smothering the area with pecks to take your mind off anything else. the locks of black hair tickle your chin and nose, the hairtie that usually kept a good chunk of his hair in a bun now out of sight.

suguru hadn’t taken anyone’s virginity before and that’s what also made this opportunity special to him. he didn’t know how to thank you with words, so he showed his gratitude throughout his actions; lips kissing your shiny tears away, moving across your face to your forehead and eventually to your own round lips which had formed a cute pout.

you could feel suguru smile against your mouth, his tongue gently tracing the outline of your lips whilst mumbling words of affection and praise; “you’re taking it so well, baby. such a good girl for me— love you so much.”

you giggled lightly at your lover’s appreciative remarks, focusing on returning the kiss instead of the tingling feeling in your lower body. you pulled away after a bit and looked up at him with nothing but pure adoration; “i love you too, suguru.”

if suguru had the ability to freeze time, he’d want to do it during this moment, just to relive this bit over and over. he’s sure that this exact instant will be engraved into his memory for the many years to come.

and once you’ve given him the green light to move, he did it with caution, slowly but surely. his hips moved back and then forwards, girthy cock dragging along your walls at a leisurely pace, but just enough to make your pain transform into pleasure.

suguru’s big hands were placed on your hips, sometimes they’d leave their position to cup your chin and make you face him. he doesn’t want you to look away from his eyes; he’ll think you don’t like this if you do. besides, the thing he loves most about being in the missionary position, is that he’s able to hear how good he’s making you feel whilst looking into your eyes to see your face scrunch up in satisfaction. it’s so romantic and perfect. just like you.

“my little princess is so pretty.” suguru sighs in content and kisses your tears away, thrusting into your tight cunt in a comfortable pace—not too fast but not too slow, “the way you take my cock and still manage to look beautiful while doing it— you’re incredible.”

if the physical pleasure wasn’t enough, his added commentary would certainly be. you moan and whimper phrases that sound like his name over and over again; you didn’t know what else to say as your mind was foggy with the amazing sensations your body was experiencing for the first time. that was fine with suguru since all he wants was to see you enjoy yourself—this moment was for you. everything he did was for you—every thrust, every kiss, every touch.

“nhhg, too good, so good!” you mewl and leave more scratch marks across suguru’s back, ones which he didn’t mind at all. it only served as further proof of this special moment. the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of your insides, puffy folds parted widely to make room for more of his length until it felt like he actually was balls deep.

“mhm—you’re, haah, tight..” the once calm and collected man seemed to let loose of himself the more he felt your cunt swallow him all the way, gripping onto his dick as if you didn’t want to ever let go. suguru grunts and moves down to leave a couple hickeys across your neck, hips non-stop pushing against yours, “don’t think i can last long—fuck, yeah—you feel amazing, baby.”

your eyes roll back as the pleasure seems to build up in your stomach as well. it felt like a coil that threatened to snap at any moment and it’d release another immense wave of pleasure upon breaking. your body was on fire, sweaty and hot, just like suguru’s.

“can you cum with me, princess? can you wait and hold on for me?” he asks, and the questions sound impossible, however you could at least try your best to fulfil his desires. you’d also want nothing more than to reach your peak together with the man you loved.

“okay—mmhh—together.” you nod and your body tenses up, legs subconsciously moving to wrap around suguru’s waist, heels of your feet simultaneously tapping against his lower back along with his hip movements. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out for as your breathing patterns changes, whiney gasps and choked up moans escaping the back of your throat as your clit bumps against his pelvis over and over.

“almost, almost—“ suguru curses through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching while yours did the opposite. your body rocked back and forth and the bed felt like it was shaking along as well. you could tell by the way suguru’s hips rolled against yours that he was close—his eyebrows were furrowed, eyes half-lidded but not closed to still hold contact with yours and his hands clutched onto your waist. all indications of his nearing climax.

“mnph, gonna cum— shit, shit, shit, i’m gonna cum—“ suguru swears under his breath a couple times more before snapping back into reality at the last few seconds. he realised once again that he didn’t have a condom on, so his first rational thought was to pull out and finish himself outside of your body.

you were also nearing your own orgasm, not thinking rationally due to the intensity of the moment, any other thoughts except for the man on top of you were thrown out of the window. you felt suguru try to pull his twitching and throbbing cock out before it could spurt its cum inside of your dripping cunt.

you whined and shook your head, pulling suguru in for a deep kiss while tightening the grasp your legs had around his hips; “w-want to feel you cum in me— want you to fill me up while i finish too.”

suguru’s breath caught in his throat, almost choking on his own saliva from your bold requests. his only rational thought instantly vanished from his mind, now all that’s left was pure love, pleasure and desire. the mental image of his cum spilling and filling your pussy to the brim drove him to the edge.

“all yours, i’m going to give it all to you, princess, yeah? fuck !” both of you relinquished in the feeling of bliss, the warmth and build up reaching its designated ending— the expected waves of pleasure washing over you both. series of soft moans, whimpers and groans filled the room as your pussy was flooded with lots of hot cum.

it was like suguru hadn’t came in years—that’s how incredible that orgasm was experienced by the dark-haired male. the same thing goes for you; your legs were shaking, hips squirming up in aftershocks as you squeezed down on suguru’s cock, quite literally milking him dry of every drop.

“nhh, haah— suguru, love,” your tired and powerless whispers caught his attention immediately. your trembling hand held onto his cheek in attempt to make him look at you. suguru’s fingers curled around your wrist, turning your hand away from his face and to the side so he’ll have access to your palm. his lips left a ticklish trail of pecks on them until his mouth found its home: your lips.

the two of you exchanged deep, exhausted breaths, your boyfriend eventually pulling out and rolling onto his side to cradle you into his arms—hand placed on the back of your head to rest your body against his chest. the following seconds were spent cuddling as you tried to regain composure.

“you were amazing.” suguru sighs, chin resting on top of your head whilst his hand rubbed your bare back in comfort, “are you okay, sweetheart? nothing feeling off or anything of that sorts?”

you shake your head and snuggle up against your lover, content with how things are right now. the afterglow of your little session—of your first time, made you happier than ever. you couldn’t believe it’d feel this good. maybe it’s due to the one you’ve lost your virginity to.

“i’m okay.” you mumble and lift your head up to look suguru in the eyes, faces only inches away from each other. there were no words in the dictionary that could describe how you two felt. the closest word to explain it would be flawless.

“i’m glad, baby. thank you for trusting me.” suguru flashes you a small smile and strokes your head. you stay like that, bodies intertwined in a deep and comfortable hug, whispers of sweet nothings filling your ears and subtle gestures of love making you feel secure.

a couple minutes later and suguru noticed how you started to doze off. he chuckled to himself before pulling away from your hug and standing up, only to have you pout and complain about the loss of warmth.

“i’m just going to clean you up, love.” the soft-spoken man utters to you, laughing quietly at the adorable state you were in at the moment. you were so dependent on him.

“should i prepare us a warm, relaxing bubble bath as well?” he asks, squatting down near the edge of his bed and taking your hands in his, maintaining eye contact as per usual.

“that’d be nice.” you nod and feel your eyelids close slowly, “can’t promise i won’t fall asleep, though.”

suguru lets out a soft exhale through his nose, corner of his lips curling upwards at your little comment. he couldn’t believe he ended up dating such an unbelievably wonderful girl. it’s a blessing in his life of curses.

“i’ll make sure to at least clean you up if you do fall asleep, don’t worry. you’re safe with me.”

you were sure he was an angel sent down from heaven. it was more than clear to you—even if it may not be to many others out there.

“thank you, suguru.” you murmur as your body relaxes into the soft mattress, “i love you.”

“i love you too. more than you could imagine.”

#ෆ : choose your fate.#jjk smut #jjk x reader #geto smut #geto x reader #jjk x you #geto x you #getou suguru x reader #jjk fic

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hellofeternity · 8 months

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ORV transcends language | how ORV is kind to readers (1.1k words)

the difficulties in analyzing text are already numerous without a language barrier, the way one word can mean 5 things and when you put it in a sentence suddenly it can mean 50 things and put that sentence in a paragraph? go further and put that paragraph in a page? construct a whole world around it, weave it into the fabric, and suddenly you are painting with words.

ORV is a daunting text, it calls and references so many mythos world wide, greek, roman, indian, chinese, japanese, it plays with meaning and intent and uses gaps in our knowledge like weapons, making us extrapolate our own meaning between the sentences, it is a tome of knowledge when it comes to histories and philosophies it feels at times like I will never understand all these things inside it.

One of the difficulties of reading a translated text is that when we analyze a text the authorial intent weighs very heavily in our minds, sure we can immerse ourselves in the world but once we start picking apart at the threads we hit a wall pretty soon when we start asking ourselves "what did the author mean by this?" however in a translated text there is an obvious gap, a game of telephone, did the translator actually capture the authors intent? or are we just reading the translators perception? sadly I don't know korean, and I cant say I have the drive to learn it, as such I know there will forever be a side of ORV that I will never be privy to - however I am bilingual and had the pleasure of reading two translated versions of ORV, an English translation and an Arabic translation, I didn't finish reading the said Arabic translation but a couple things stood out to me when I briefly did ORV is very kind to readers, following along in other stories can seem confusing at times, the pacing might be too fast and you might miss some details in a characters actions, the wording might be too vague and ah damn 20 pages later you realize you don't actually know why the characters are doing what they are doing. A big writing adage that you will see a lot is "show dont tell" and it holds merit, but ORV doesn't subscribe to it, because ORV shows AND tells. ORV built a world around readers and reading, and it makes sure that there is clarity every step of the way on what is happening, first by starting out as a homage to the isekai genre, and not deviating too much at the start, making the readers feel at home in a worldview they are familiar with, systems, leveling, videos games etc, and when it starts deviating it explains things with clarity that no matter how bad the translation is you understand the general intent, and secondly by being VERY blatant about the names of things and having a built in "story" system that is built on common story tropes and names the themes for you! take for example "unbroken faith" and "Blade of faith" both of these are two translated versions of dokja's sword. I will never know which one is closer to the original authorial intent, but I can tell you something, dokja's sword is symbolism to the faith he is wielding. (CH386 vague spoilers) or the entirety of "the great war of saints and demons" being about the concept of good and evil fighting and how kimcom aren't just above being good and evil, they are both. By using story tropes that we are familiar with to explain the complexity of situations in a simple forms you no longer have to worry about losing you readers understandings through language barriers. Every story in the world in every language knows what good vs evil is, every language has the words to explain them. and therein lies the beauty of ORV. But of course this isn't to say translations don't matter, it does speak to the strength of an original texts clarity when it accounts for the big things by making them simplified, but when we get down to the nitty gritty it starts to lose form take for example

"Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever get to meet you again?"

this person here has a great write up explaining the translators thoughts behind this specific line

but it has spawned a lot of debate in the English speaking fandom, as to the strength of its translation, I remember when I first saw someone claiming that its a mistranslation and "you fool" isn't part of the original, my first thought was "and so?" I do not mean to be dismissive to the original text, but I do not exist in a space where I can appreciate it in the original korean, I do not exist in a worldview where I can understand the historical implications of a lot of the characters, and even when I try to research it in English sadly the resources do not exist yet and its even more laughable to think of finding these things in Arabic. (Goryeos first sword doesn't have an English wikipedia page as a clear example) a lot of people have issues with the most popular English fantranslation of ORV - and I can understand why, being bilingual I have a lot of opinions on how a lot of things SHOULD be translated most of the time, and have done my own translation work but as I sit and think about this popular translation I cant help but just feel love for it, it might be lacking to some, it might be inaccurate at times to others, but its just enough for me to paint the gaps in the text with my perceptions, the words used are tied to my affections the Arabic translation of ORV is clunky, it is messy, it doesn't have as much grace as the English translation of ORV does, the words barely string together cohesively, but it has enough clarity, enough intent, and enough love for its readers, to catch their hearts, their attention and their energy

and so I want this to be the first post on this blog because, the author is dead here, not because I buried them, but because the tower of babel fell down a long time ago, and all we have is rubble and each other. a lot of the analysis on this blog will try to be respectful to the korean original wherever it can, however my words will be coming from an anglosphere perspective, and build on other English reader's perceptions of a text translation that a decent amount of people don't think is adequate, but just like ORV is kind to us, we can be kind back, I will quote the most popular version because its what connects us together, and while the authors intent might be lost, we can share our own meanings with each other, and build our own intent from the rubble.

#orv meta #orv #orv analysis #r1864 #a big wall of text for me to go lol orv is queer and yjh is trans coded #but this is tumblr so everyone knows that already #also I still don't actually know what naming convention is correct I've seen many discussions about this #I just go with what is most popular for ease of understanding and ease of reading #also i find the naming thing very funny in english and latin letters because there isnt nearly this much drama about it in the arabic scrip #I just assume its like any other language that doesnt use latin and we are just trying to break english to sound out letters they dont have #i do like how dokjas name sounds like its splitting in the middle in the correct pronunciation 'dok-ja' adds to his duality #and i am sad that gets lost in the latin script sounding

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nalpurex · 1 month

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i got souyo brainworms again and i gotta share some thoughts i have

this ones a long one so ill put a 'keep reading' thing here just in case yall dont wanna scroll past a wall of text

basically some headcanons about a healthy mix of chad narukami and normal yu, injecting loads of gap moe into this guy

(and it eventually devolves into some weird semi-story because my brains really spiralling here)

okok so, hear me out, chad narukami isnt that bad as an idea...? maybe as a more calm iteration, just another layer to yu

in the p4 manga, we get to see some of yu's backstory. (its been a while since ive read it so i might get some details wrong but) his parents are very busy people, always working and moving around, so yu's always moving around with them

because of this, hes a very independent but also lonely kid. poor guy doesnt talk much with his own mom and dad, and he never really have a good enough chance to form lasting friendships

so when he moves to inaba and starts making friends there, hes like 'oh i really want to keep these guys around...' so he starts putting up a bit of a persona (hah), some cool, unfazed guy that everyone can rely on thinking thats what people might like more. to his credit, it works pretty well, but its a bit stifling for yu himself. hes never had this many friends though, so he'll keep it up

we all know yosuke admires him quite a fair bit as is, just as a dependable friend and a strong leader. he looks up to yu in these aspects, thinking hes basically the perfect guy. (and lets never unpack that thought.) talented, charming, 'gets all the ladies', that kind of stuff

at some point its just the two of them, maybe walking home from school or something, yu gets pretty comfortable and his facade slips a little. maybe he says something completely silly, or heavens forbid theres a stray cat along the road! ("awww look at the little guy, cmeree, pspsps- oh- ahem- uh, its pretty cute...") it surprises yosuke quite a bit. he's thinking about it a lot as they part ways, it was... definitely a new side to his partner, but its also not a bad thing...

after that, yosuke starts noticing more small things about yu. whenever he invites anyone to share his lunch, its always something they like. whenever the IT are talking, he makes sure no one feels left out. he likes cats, a lot more than hes willing to show, and he loves nanako a whole lot too. his partner's... a bit of a softie under that calm and collected vibe, isnt he?

(alternatively, it'd be really funny if the entire IT knew? like "yeah, hes got a straight face all the time and sparkles fly around him whenever he strikes a pose, but hes got a dedicated schedule for hanging out with us and hes always asking when we're free. hes a big puppy, really.")

anyways, yosuke tries to encourage him to show more of this other side of him. stuff like "c'mon, we'll think you're cool either way!" and yu at first is a little hesitant, so yosuke suggests he just try it out with him

he feels some pride about it, because hes the first to learn about this side of yu! his partner trusts him the most, hes the most comfortable around him! (whats this strange other feeling? hm. dont like that.)

yu takes a little more time with the others, but theyre very welcoming about it nonetheless. specifically, they find it very charming! (making cute shapes in your bento? sewing cute stuffed toys with kanji? playing with literally every single stray cat you lay your eyes on? hell yeag.)

of course the facade doesnt completely shatter, because some parts of it are still true to yu. its just that he'll now crack the dumbest joke youve heard in your life with the same old straight face

(aaand now to derail for the sappy stuff huhuhu)

because yosuke's usually the first to be exposed to whatever new shenanigans yu's up to, eventually he starts getting some... weirder things. he brings some of it up to the other IT members and he looks insane, like:

"what? he hasnt been giving you guys origami?"

"why would he? i mean itd be cool, but thats just his part-time job isnt it? hes probably sick of paper cranes!"

"cranes... haha, yeah..." (as he thinks about the row of stupid paper animals sitting on his windowsill)

yu over time starts getting real sweet with yosuke, and he kind of gets the feeling he should just... keep this to himself...? especially when he doesnt see him acting this way with anyone else, and a small part of him wants to keep it to himself. all of this, just for him.

but that would be kind of gay, wouldnt it? hes not gay, is he...? he gets pretty happy whenever yu smiles at him, whenever he does something for him, but its just because he appreciates him as his partner... right?

eventually it all comes to a head when yu invites him to that... that spot high up in inaba. (ykno the one, its got the railing and shit.)

yosuke's climbing the hill, wondering whats yu gonna tell him, and at the top he sees him already waiting there as the sun's about to set on a nice breezy day

he kinda jokes a bit about it, like "damn did you ask me to come here now for the atmosphere?" but yu's strangely quiet

so they kinda just stand in a bit of an awkward silence before yu clears his throat... and confesses to yosuke.

...

they just. stare at each other for a bit. yosuke's at a loss, heat slowly rising in his cheeks, because what the hell?

and then yu explodes into a flustered mess, bumbling about "hey yeah man you dont have to accept if you dont wanna, i was just saying things yknow? you dont really have to-"

yosuke cuts him off, sighing a little. he tells him its okay, hes kinda had a feeling he felt the same way but he wasnt ready yet... and now his partner's confessing to his face, he cant really put it off anymore, can he?

("by the way, did you plan this? like, the timing and everything?"

"i... had a hard enough time saying 'i like you' with a straight face as it was, i kind of had to..."

"... ah.")

#ive never done this kind of headcanon dumping before so it feels kind of embarrassing???#like my attitude going into this was “hell yeah! im gonna expand on yu so much because he has a lot of potential and i adore him!”#and i came out of it thinking like how i always do #sappy fluff and making dolls kiss 🙄#i cant even guarantee ill remember my own damn headcanons bc ive always been one to prefer lighthearted silly stuff #hence me avoiding writing dialogue when i can... especially that confession bit #eugh...#anyways i just hope yall enjoy my thoughts haha #persona 4 #souyo #yu narukami #yosuke hanamura #farts and sharts

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basilpaste · 3 months

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hey hey do yall want my incoherent classpect rambles for the isat cast that i wrote while half asleep at 2 am?? too late!!!

odile is a heart player. 'oh but basil!! shouldnt she be a mind player or something?' no. the core of her character is her identity and lack thereof. shes intelligent and strong willed and has an innate understanding of many things. she cares for others deeply in a way she keeps close to her chest. mage of heart? she understands people but feels separate from them. i think her repeatedly almost clocking siffrin is also something that feels right for a mage of heart. despite sharing a classpect with meulin, shes less of a leijon heart player and more of a dirk one. if that makes sense.

mira is a maid of hope. this is an easy one. she could also be breath, i also see breath, because… change. but her character is so tied to the idea of hope that its gotta be. other peoples hope for her, the pressure she puts on herself because of that, that stuff. shes a maid not just for the housemaiden thing but because maids are 'fixers'. it ties nicely into her quest to save her home and also the fact that shes the only one who can. i also think her lack of belief in herself is a very 'hope' thing. jake is a pretty prime example of a hope player who doesnt hold hope for themself as much as for others.

i!!!! like mind player isabeau!!!! i think odile heart and isa mind is very good!!! im thinking heir of mind isa. heirs are passive which works well with isa being the character who gives the team the most buffs! heir of mind reads 'im going to weaken my enemies and bring up my team' to me. hes a smart guy. he knows hes smart. even when he lets people walk all over his intelligence. hes shockingly bad at handling his own emotions despite being good with other peoples. hes a loyal and trusting guy who often finds himself lost within the gap between who he is and who hes perceived as.

bonnies a range player. thumbs up. anger and fear are their driving forces for a lot of the game. theyre deeply emotional at the best of times. theyre a kid with a lot on their plate. this makes sense. i kind of like rogue of rage for them? their feelings tend to instill emotion within the rest of the party. even the idea of them being hurt drives a protectiveness in the adults. in the same way, they can steal away peoples emotion and mellow them out by being the most emotional person in the room.

also i like the symmetry of two aspect pairs with sif being alone. which leads me to:

sif is a time player. an argument could be made for him being a space player. but they are a time player because of the fucking. time loops they manifested for themself. sifs a knight. hes a knight of time. yes like dave strider but also because they are. every action they take is for their family. the time loop they stick themself in is because he wants to continue to be with them. knights serve. they push away their own thoughts and feelings for the sake of protecting those they feel an obligation towards. get back to the stage, siffrin.

loop is also a knight of time! hope this helps!! but theyre an arguably less stable knight? their influence in the story is mostly from the sidelines. they dont have control over anything anymore. they watch as the same thing happens over and over and over again. i think that seeing that and knowing that you not only caused it but you cant directly do anything to stop it is the worst punishment a knight could possibly receive.

#in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #odile isat #isabeau isat #mirabelle isat #bonnie isat #siffrin isat #loop isat #classpect #if you disagree that is totally fair!!! im not like. the god of classpecting or anything.#im personally very fond of my picks but that doesnt have to be your thing! like i could easily see someone arguing witch of breath for mira #i obviously feel the strongest about loop and sif but again i could see an argument for both of them being space players!#i also play rage as 'emotion' when i classpect a lot of the time? which is popular fanon but not always everyones dig.#waugh!!!!

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correctproseka · 4 months

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favourite sekai relationships (romantic and platonic), go!

Ohhh okay okay. I might forget some i really like but here we go

Romantic

Ichisaki. Well, polyneed as a whole but ichisaki MAINLY make me insane like their whole story and dynamic and cjsjckdjf Saki is ichika's hope and happiness and Ichika is the one who makes Saki be who she is, the one who will never leave her. They just make me insane and they're both each other's inspiration and cjsjckdjdj

Polyniigo. While my head mainly spins in Mafuyu ships (more specifically, mafuena and mizumafu), they're all so important for each other and each has something that will help in the recovery of another. They all complete each other, you cannot separate them. They're a found family as much as they are a ship, "these are the people who gets me, and makes me happy and who I CHOOSE to be with".

.. i love other ships but those mentioned are my main OTPS and the ones who mostly make me insane, shout out to polyvbs, anhane, minoharu and nenekasa tho

Platonic

A lot of the ones in here will also be able to be read as ships, and I will like it most times, but I also REALLY like them as bffs or adopted siblings or smth

So starting with the ones that CANT be seen as romantic

Tenmas (including Toya), I can not express myself how those sillies make my day, the Tenmas are the first people that Toya feels at home with, Tsukasa is the person that makes both laugh, Saki wants to make up for her time and spend time with her family. 10/10

Shinonomes. Sjcksuckshcishcusjvusivhisvjfuvufj th them i uave so many words abt the shinonomes that idk where to begin so-

Hinomoris. Shiho wanting independence, but Shizuku does it all for her, because she wanted to step in as an older sister for her parents but she NEVER HAD THE TIME TO BECAUSE SHES AN IDOL. Which created an even bigger gap for a while. They love each other but couldn't tell each other what's going on in their lives

Now the ones that are able to see it as romantic, no matter if i like it that way or not

Ichikasa. Look, for me, Tsukasa treats Ichika like a little sister, while he does that with everyone in Leo/need, one thing ichikasa only can bond over is seeing Saki in her worst state and making her smile, because Saki's smile is everything for both of them.

Shizukasa. As mentioned before, they can be bffs and look good doing so. They will cuddle and not care about what the idol fans will say. In some AUs that brew in my brain, they marry but they are just each others beard, still close though

Akian. While i love them as a ship too, i NEED to talk about how their dynamic is amazing, they will kick each other then get mad if someone raises the voice at the other, only them can bully each other tyvm. In times i prefer seeing them as a couple, in others i prefer seeing them as siblings, depends on my mood and the good thing about headcanons is that I can have both and they're not in the same universe at all

Minori, Kohane and Shiho. So. Silly. Come onnnnnn i dont have an essay prepared for them tho

Ruinene.. maybe i like childhood friend troupe maybe not... But as a couple, as bffs, or as siblings, those 2 be queens

Honakana. I also dont have an essay for them i just think its cute

Thats it. I definitely forgot about relationships i love in here LMAO

Also shout out to mikurin, kaimei, meiluka and kaimeiluka (len forever alone ig KFJSKFJ)

#project sekai #proseka #prosekai #colorful stage #pjsekai #puroseka #ask #anon #im not tagging everything here <3

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strongheartneteyam · 9 months

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💌 A messy open letter/life update to my moots, readers and followers (?)

MY LOVES MY ANGELS HI!!!

IM SO SORRY FOR NEGLECTING Y'ALL FOR SO LONG my kitten is just now healed enough (not fully healed yet. she still has sutures) for me to be able to let her walk around the room and play by herself without being too dangerous for her health and I FINALLY was able to sleep more these last 4 days (I didn't talk to ANY of my friends for 3 days bc all I could do was sleep - even during the day, like, a lot - watch movies n read a bit (books, not fanfiction)/study neuroscience and anatomy a bit) so, now, I'm only like 70% recovered from so much sleep deprivation (being an amateur nurse for a spayed kitten and also doing house chores, mostly by yourself, ain't easy) and I've been logging in here for like only 30 minutes up to a maximum of like 1 hour or so, and not even everyday, just editing some stuff on my posted fanfiction/checking my notifications, messages, asks and OMG you guys are AMAZING!!! So much love that I'm receiving, from moots, readers, followers or even people who I don't think follow me but they support my works somehow, even after me being gone for this long while... IM SO THANKFUL AND MOVED!!! I love this fandom SO MUCH! I have no words!! I've been in many fandoms in my life and the Avatar one is by far the most supportive, peaceful - to a certain extent - and full of good energy and love! I PROMISE I will get to answer y'all soon enough!

And about the talk that's been going on about the fandom dying, DONT U WORRY MY BABIES, MOMMA VICTÓRIA AINT GOING NOWHERE! Speaking for me, at least, this tall blue aliens obsession is NOT something temporary! I'll be writing my lil stories for y'all forever, if I'm able to (lol) 🤍 I've loved Avatar since the first time I watched the 2009 movie, back when it was released and I was a child, and now that I'm a grown woman in her 20s, I still feel such a big connection to this fictional universe, in a literal spiritual level. I was a pagan/had a witchy/nature based spirituality for years of my life, tho I'm not pagan anymore, since I slowly realized I never truly believed in the pagan gods and magick, but, instead, I just see God in nature and see it as sacred and something that should be respected and taken care of, instead of destroyed. I also have indigenous heritage from my great grandmother, love my indigenous culture, live in a small town, next to the countryside, always felt crazily connected to nature and the Universe and been deeply fascinated by space, aliens, sci-fi, fantasy, always been called a "hippie" by people, either to tease me playfully or to try to make me feel bad for being a bit too much like Kiri Sully (istg me and Kiri are one and the same) so, this fandom serves me JUST RIGHT 😅🫀✨🌱👽💕 I'm here to stay and I WILL help keep this wonderful fandom alive!!! 💖

Anyways... I feel like I already "talked" way too much lol I'm wordy, sorry 🥲 but that's one of the reasons I can write well, so... it's got its bad and its good side ahaha

Speaking of writing, I have like 6 to 7 chapters of Realize where you belong saved (only need to edit and fill in some gaps) bc, even in the middle of so much physical and mental working, I'VE BEEN SO BLESSED with inspiration and been able to write A LOT lately, in the wee free time I've been having, so... if you're reading this fanfiction, I might be updating it later today or tomorrow!

Hope you're all doing good and taking care of yourselves! I've been trying to! I LOVE Y'ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK 💘

With love, your messy and a bit crazy but honest and caring fanfiction writer,

Victória ♡

#꒰ა victória speaks ໒꒱#victória l♡ves her readers so much :')#victória's moots live in her heart <3◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜#victória l♡ves her followers!! ꒰✮꒱

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brazilian-whalien52 · 3 months

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Shipper tag game

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

There are so many that I tought would be forever, specially from my childhood shows. Still they give me the nostalgia tingle, so its not indifference. But maybe some like Katara and Aang? Like them but dont much care. Oh, and Hinata and Naruto I dislike now, after the ignored confession I just lost all interest.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Kind hard to tell, maybe Isa x Alex from Isa TKM? I was really invested (but Isa did have some serious mental problems)

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

My first fanfic was a Harry Potter elf insert, so no ship there, now my first couple one was AMUTO from Shugo chara

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

It was probrably Sasuke x Sakura, i remember I loved the youtube videos with their fanarts, specially thought Sakura with akatsuki robe looked super cool

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

I guess one time? When Naruto ended... omg why so many naruto answers? a trip to memory land results in that

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Always a MakoHaru hater, altrought i dont care much now, the hate is just nostalgia at this point too.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

That is embarissing but i tried a little the house wilson x house fanfics, now that i watching the show.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Zosan is my OTP since I first watch One Piece. But I do have others that are mentioned around

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Merthur, I will never understand why, the story point to that so much. But I do have some that get me way more mad, I just can't remember Because when I do I go in a rant

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Hm, maybe drarry? It wasn't dislike per say. But just seemed weird shipping them because of my childhood. But the fanfic were so good that I gave a chance.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Sterek and Shizaya. Sterek has the age gap that o didn't even realize was there when I was younger. Shizaya is just all levels of toxic enemies.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

Akafuri, I have it so bad for them. And it was extremely funny when they stopped being a crack ship. Also spideypool? When I started Shipping them they also didn't have anything on them, it was just funny the two together, so it's crazy that they have comics together.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics off?

Probably zosan, sterek and drarry? Zosan was in portuguese, sterek when I started reading in English and the Harry Potter fandom just has so many...

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

I think I have a lot of enemies/rivals ships? Or that usually have some kind of banter going on.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship?

First, when they are boring. Second, I hate ships where one side (A) is completely obsessed with the other (B). Specially when B does not show any interest in person A and seem clueless. I can watch romance story with these plot, but I feel like in other genres they always mess the execution up and I never feel B truly has deep feelings, just that A is convenient (thats why I don't like ships such as naruhina, gruvia, stydia, Hancock x Luffy...). Just not my cup of tea.

I am tagging: @dual-domination @killerandhealerqueen @wen-kexing-apologist @slayerkitty @gloster @nenehyuuchiha @jackpoompkin @kennyomegasweave @momofmysquad @hyperfocusmadness @kami-no-ikku @magnusgraycloud @geometricalien @enteisabo @hautegirl07 @callipigio @chitaprrrrrrrr @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @twig-tea @hyperbolicgrinch @bunnakit @tdwlara @i-che-bi @latinokokonoi @theflagscene @significant-ace-nnoyance @kuronekonerochan

#tag game

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stitchkiss · 1 year

Note

hey, love! can u answer all of them?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL OF THEM!!!!! okay i will do it but only because you asked and i love you very much

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

well i only have 5 fics posted but probably this one because it’s my longest fic but i didn’t really expect a lot of recognition anyway because it’s a rare pair from a show that not many ppl like. it's not the best writing but worked hard on it and i’m proud of it and that’s really all i can ask for.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i really love when ppl point out sentences/situations and other things they like.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i struggled really hard with my first thiam fic. the responses are all amazing but i found it so difficult to write something so vulnerable

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

something that makes me want to give up is the fear that i wont be able to write how i want. what keeps me going is all the lovely cheerleaders in my corner<333

🌿how does creating make you feel?

happy. i love getting my ideas out there and i like practicing writing

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

tbh what i've written so far have all been fantasies. i haven't explored issues i face through writing yet but i do have ideas. i think my thiam stargazing fic was a kind of reflection of how i felt in a moment

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

im funny sometimes

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

there are literally year long gaps between my fics so yes they def have changed. i feel like im more sure of myself and my writing each time i post and hopefully my writing gets better every time too!

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/ validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

every time. i love treating myself. i try to hype myself up by reading what i wrote and it works sometimes.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

all of these ofc but i think characters because they're the driving force of all my writing amd im scared i dont write them correctly or they dont come off in the way i want to. i also feel like specific word choices and phrases really make or break a fic.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

the thiam stargazing one. you guys went nuts over it fr so thanks

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i havent written anything really profound but i will say that there is a lot in my 18k caswen fic that i wish ppl would acknowledge.

🕯️I was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

thiam stargazing ofc. when i wrote it i felt like i was bigger than myself. idk how to explain it

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

ohhh my anne/winnie fic! i will say that this was very bold of me to write because this pair is rare. so rare in fact that my fic was the first posted on a03 for that ship! pretty girlboss of me

🍭why did you start writing?

because i had ideas in my head and i needed to get them out.

💎why is writing important to you?

i think it's important to me because this is a way for me to take a break from my life by writing others'

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

every single time i've posted a work i eat chinese food then take a phat nap to distract myself.

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

probably the thiam cod one bc it's funny

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

i like contributing to fandoms and ships and if i get praised along the way then that's alright with me too

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

ur comments on my comment. did i understand it? did you think what i said ab x thing was funny? idk everything. im a social butterfly i thrive off communication

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

encouragement literally creates art. and friendships! i literally made so many friends by commenting on their fics and interacting with them in general. fr this has been a very fun two months for me inthe teen wolf/thiam fandom. im thriving here in a way i didnt in other fandoms because i actually took a chance and talked to ppl. i have aniety but i love talking to ppl so it worked out

🦕(i can’t find the stupid blue emoji thing so ur getting a dinosaur) what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/ posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

if my fic doesnt do well then that's not my business. ppl like what they like and yeah it's a dick move to not tell a creator/artist you like their stuff whether through comments or kudos bc its so east to click one little button before swiping out of the tab but! the real ones have my back and i know it. i dont expect a lot when i post for thiam because the show ended literally five years ago and this ship is relatively small compared to others so i dont think much of it. if my fic doesnt do well its not on me because i know i did good

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

mmm okay i know i posted a wip game last week but i only did half so i'll drop the other half here (this is a treat specifically for you jaque).

cuddle monster liam: liam is a leech and he clings to theo when they sleep. theo's a little confused but accepts it anyway. i have this scene i want to write and it's one of the first times liam cuccled with him and it the basic part of it is liam just nudges his head under theos arm like a puppy and nuzzles his face into theo's chest bc he's cold.

look you: this is more of a concept than anything but basically theo and liam have thing thing where they say "look, you" or some kind of variation of that when the other is being a little shit or self depreciating.

tfw you do a 30 day relationship challenge when ur not even in a relationship: so corey and mason do a 30 day relationship challenge and they rope theo and liam into doing it too. i got the challenge off some website and i was like yes. there's gonna be 31 parts in theory but they wont be super long i think. i need all the creative juices going for this one.

getting shot with an arrow had never been this fun: theo and liam are complete idiots and they manage to get impaled with the SAME arrow and are stuck together for Reasons. it's shenanigan city up in here as they navigate how to get help. the important thing is that they have fun !

the morey split: mason and corey break up (or take a break or just arent talking i havent decided yet) and its up to theo and liam to get to the bottom of this and get them back together! they are terrible at it.

okay i think im done now

#this is sort of long so if i need to put some of it behind a keep reading tab i will just lmk #ask #stitchkiss

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barneswilsonrogers · 8 months

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Trope game!

thank you for the tag @writerkenna

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional

Age Gap: 5

only if its silver fox steve and the age gap is not big

Codependency: 5

I like it only to an extent. If it’s too extreme then it becomes annoying as fuck. Especially if the main ship hurt other people/treat other people like they’re less important than their partner (iykyk)

I also never saw the appeal of a character who commit s*icide because their partner dies. Yall are not Romeo and Juliet calm down.

Enemies to lovers: 6

It’s not my favorite. I would only click if I like both characters equally. Also sometimes this trope can easily turns into a toxic relationship which I dislike.

Enemies With Benefits: 6

what’s the difference between this and enemies to lovers?? arent they the same lol

Fake Dating/Relationship: 7

I've read a couple of sambucky/samsteve fics like this and they're always fun.

Found Family: 10

This is my shit! Cap quartet is my favorite example.

Friends To Lovers: 10

yep another one of my faves! it's why I love samsteve so much.

Friends With Benefits: 5

meh

Hurt/Comfort: 8

I loveeee it so much esp if it gets steamy at the end hehe

Love Triangle: -1

I used to love it when I was younger but now it's poly or else

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 7

I love it esp if the writer is skilled and there are many twists and turns along the way

Monster Fu… Relationship: 0

I dont understand loool is it like Venom and Eddie? is it one of those abo Werewolves thing? I'm not against it I just don't get it lmaoiksdnfk idk these fics are not my radar thats all

Does vampire count because I do ship loustat and lestat is kind of a monster 😂

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc: -1

Sorry but most of the times, the dialogue makes me cringed!!! So I rather avoid them lmao

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc): 10

Duh?? i ship sambucky

Poly: 10

YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES in the mcu i ship samstevebucky, clintbuckynat, stevebuckypeggy, rhodeytonypepper - they're all amazing

Pregnancy: 8

I'm a sap i love domestic things

Second Chance: 8

Oh, this is beautiful esp if it's about Steve Rogers building a new life after he wakes up and making the most of it because he's grateful to have a second chance.

Sex To Feelings: 8 oh yes. always a yes.

Slowburn: 8 I love when a story is so good and you don't want it to end so please make it as slow as you want lol

Soulmates: -1 yeah idk sometimes it works, sometimes it too predictable

tagging! (with 0 pressure): @alivedean @lilacevans @love-buckybarnes @margaretacarter and anyone of my mutuals

#writerkenna #idk how to tag lmaodnxn #tagged!

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salzmine · 1 year

Text

My two cents noone asked for...Wranduin edition.

Prior interests, easy solutions:

Ive read in posts that Anduin has shown interest in girls before (like a gnome and a dwarf) and a human girl named Tess, if Im not mistaken. And while this hints at a preference, its not really relevant, as he is a teen, and teens easily develop crushes. (even if he didnt show interests in boys before, maybe he just didnt find anyone interesting enough, or developed this preference later, could be anything) This doesnt even have to be redconnd

Either treat it as it was, random crushes of a teenager, or (Im not sure on the details but Im pretty sure his mom is dead) him seeing his mother in those girls, only realizing this later (mommy issues). Im not even sure what happened to those interests, I think those were from a book, which is already to be taken with a grain of salt unless it is actively in the game (at least in my opinion) I think Tess is in the game, what happened to her?

In any case, instead of making a drama out of it, with jealousy and hurt, it could easily lead to infinitely more interesting story arcs. (one of which Ill probably elaborate in another post)

Age gap. Homo bad, hetero good?

Wrathions age is awkward. I dont know the details but from what I could gather from posts he is 2 to 5 years old. Im also not sure if dragon aging has ever been explained in game.

Which doesnt really matter because Blizzard decided to not only give this whelp an adult human avatar, he also has the wits and behaviours (as far as I can tell) of an adult. While one can disregard the human avatar, since, from what I can tell, they choose their form, so he could just choose to look adult to not be treated like a child, he is way too smart and knowledgeable for a toddler.

Huge age gaps especially when a minor is involved is a bad thing, but in this case its between a dragon whelp and a teenage human boy. Both relatively young, plus the unclear aging of dragons. One could try to explain it like dog to human years, if you will. 2 dog years are 14 human years, which would make a 2 year old dog and a 14 year old human the same age. Then you could argue that dragons live a long ass time though so why would they grow up so fast, to which you could point to long living beings like turtles. Nature (especially in a fantasy environment) can be whatever really.

Imo, it does work, I do understand though when people reject this ship because of the confusing age gap.

But while I understand why, I also doubt this would be much of an issue if one of the characters were a female, seeing as loli relations are rather popular and weirdly tolerated.

Male friendships in peril:

An argument Ive read a lot, not only about this ship but any gay ship in any media, is, that the people who want representation, are trying to erase male friendships.

To that I say, where?

With thousands upon thousands upon millions upon billions of media, to this day moving forward, that involve two men being hetero friends, people dare claim that male friendships are being erased, while happily erasing possible platonic relationships between girls and boys because girls and boys cannot coexist without instantly falling in love and fucking. Friendship erasure seems to really only be an issue when its gay.

With hundreds of characters, main and background, being straight, you decide to have a temper tantrum about 2 (two!) characters possible being gay for eachother.

To which people may counter „Buts its a king and a prince! They cant be gay! They need heirs!“

Which leads me to my next point.

The scandal of a homo relationship and the need of an heir (and easy solutions):

There are many possibilites to make this work, especially in a fantasy setting.

Leaning on reality, we have adoption, which is less favourable since its not their own blood.

Or surrogacy, like many homosexual pairings like to do in for example India. Gay and lesbian couples come together to make children while still enjoying their freedom to be with the person they love.

Advanced science. At some point humanity will reach a scientific level where they can make artificial children in artifical wombs, with sperm and eggs they make out of the dna of you and your partner.

Which can easily be translated into a fantasy setting, that not only has magic but also uses science, like in WoW.

And finally, magic.

Having children only ever seems to be a problem when it comes to gays.

You cant deny homosexal pairings their biological children while at the same time being ok with human females being dicked down by various creatures, creating humanX hybrids.

We cant even crossbreed with other primates.

Those humanX hybrids also only work with either magic, or science (dna adapting mutations and the like).

In a world where human(or other)X hybrids exist, people use portals, people turn into bears, birds cats, a world with spirits and all kind of magical creatures, beings, monsters, environments, two gays having biological children is an absolute none-issue.

Reminds me of the adventure time drama, where people complained, that lesbians cant have eachothers kids. In a world with all kinds of magical impossibilites going on, this is the hill some people want to die on.

Another example, Steven universe. A gem forming a womb out of light, and giving birth to a human gem hybrid is widely accepted. Because why not, its fantasy science.

So why not give gays the same acceptance.

Is race/species relevant?

A minor point I just wanted to mention. For some antishippers race/species may be an issue in this ship.

The human king of Stormwind marrying another race/species. Would that be a problem?

A scandal perhaps, and it wouldnt be easy, but it would help race relations in the long run imo.

Besides, this is somehow only an issue when its two guys.

I think its pretty safe to say if one of them was a girl it would be deemed a romantic tragedy and theyd be rooted for.

Another point I briefly want to touch upon is where people argue that the existence of the characters on their own is being neglected. Both characters on their own are interesting, but its the dynamic they have together that is much more intriguing, they compliment eachother, and its cute.

I just wanted to vent a little about this.

DISCLAIMER: I did no research for this post, ignorance is bliss.

Also I barely know the story of WoW, Im more of a level/gear grinding kind of player.

Source: Mostly my ass, and various tumblr/twitter posts.

Note: As soon as the canon changes, if one of them gets a girlfriend or married, I will lose interest and stop posting about it.

#WoW #world of warcraft #wranduin #venting #shipping #anduin wrynn #wrathion #feel free to discuss #my opinion

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dreamsy990 · 11 months

Note

You reblorbed the "Chose Violence" ask game post & now I must return the favour:

1 12 14 21

Don't feel pressured to answer all of them - it's all in good fun!

~athena-appreciation-page

ALRIGHTY (so sorry this took so long to get around to)

1: the character everyone gets wrong

alright im setting aside my default knee-jerk response of pHOENIX WRIGHT because im literally only referring to his relationship with apollo and i talk too much about that anyways. so i present to you: LARRY BUTZ!!!

i think he was pretty good in the first game, and AMAZING in the anime. like, all his scenes are so fun. hell, even in the movie, he's a fucking HIGHLIGHT!!!! i think the fandom (and the later games, to a lesser extent) kind of does him dirty by portraying him as, idk, terminally straight but in a really bad way? im too tired to think of the word im looking for.

12: the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

i like lucas miller hm i mean. i like most characters. i see a lot of hate for sunny from wof. like, people think shes annoying and kind of useless? but idk, i like her!! she reminds me a bit of athena, i think? in terms of personality, not story.

i get that people are frustrated that she doesn't do much for the first 4 books, but she's trying to be useful. iirc she has a similar arc to maya at the end of aa1 where she feels useless so she starts doing extreme things to help out and ends up being the reason the main cast succeeds. i love that for her!! also, she's pretty fun as a side character in the second arc. so, sunny probably.

14: that one thing you see in fics all the time

dadnix (specifically relating to apollo). i have SO MANY ISSUES WITH DADNIX!!!!! you CANNOT tell me that apollo would consider this man a father. hell, even assuming apollo would think of a parental figure positively (which, based on his story, he has no reason to have ANY positive association with fathers specifically), phoenix???? their relationship doesn't read like that at ALL. apollo is notably distant with phoenix. nick is SHOCKED to hear apollo isn't always serious.

the only canon scene i can think of that reads like dadnix is probably when the agency is in danger in magical turnabout, when apollo has what reads like a panic attack, and nick comforts him. that's the ONLY SCENE. i just. i want them to have a conversation i think. i dont see their dynamic like that i suppose. its fine? i just. hngh.

21: part of canon you think is overhyped

i was gonna say apollos backstory but uh. actually i think its very interesting. um. i cant think of anything actually. so a part of canon i think is UNDERHYPED is the gap between aa4 and aa5!! like, some shit CLEARLY happened there!!!!! phoenix and apollo had to have a conversation between aa4 and aa5 based on how their relationship is different (change in writers be damned) and that's one of my favorite things in aa so. yeah!!

okay actually. i can think of a non-ace attorney answer. pre-starblaster in taz. i just dont really care all that much about what happened before the hunger? like i don't mind it, its pretty interesting, but its probably the LEAST interesting thing in taz.

#ask game #sorry this took so long to respond i couldnt think of replies then i forgot

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renabooks · 2 years

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This kinda self claim but the truth is i just want to know myself. I find many points here that i can relate soo much.

I care alot about people, but sometimes orrr oftennnnly it is overwhelmed me to care about everyone around. Thinking about everyone's feeling that much.. That's why i dont go out or chats much with friend or even my best-closest friends. I don't know what to do, i feel that we are getting distant. And me making boundaries with everyone.. unconsciously. Or this is just the way i am? I dont know.

Yes, im sensitive to words and acts :)

I appreciate sooo much the little things people do. Even it is just one good word, buying me a crepes, smile, it made me happy to have such a niceee family & friends around me.

الحمد لله، ما شاء الله لا قوه الا بالله, الحمد لله الذي بنعمته تتم الصالحات

If my sensitivity made me have a bad feeling. I often try to have positive thoughts, and realize that people didn't meant to hurt me or anything. If i cant manage it, i will avoid many things that possibly spawn that bad gloomy feeling. Sleep, not open social medias, doing things in real world (honestly social media make it worse, too much information we don't need and our brain cant contain all of that. Ok wait this story is getting wider._. enough, back to main topic)

So i hide it, as always. Because oftenly i just regret my act. I even ever made a big, really big mistake pour out everything i feel.

Since that happen.. as i getting older, i realize that not everything must be showned up. The best thing to do is.. hide it, step aside, calm yourself down, and find a good problem solving method that made a smallest mudharat & as much as possible no cahos/conflict happen. I don't wanna hurt people & dont want to have a bad relationship with everyone around me.

I remember when me & my friend go to government training facility together for a month. Im so excited, so happy to do this with one of my close friend. We leave home together, and back to home together everyday, although we are in different class. But, at one time i feel like.. i want to go home bymyself, enjoy my little journey to home by angkot alone..

Because of that, many people think that i hate or angry to her. She also keep forcing me to go home together because she afraid riding alone. Im such a selfish. Made me think, is that true? do i really angry or hate her?

Ii i iiiii dont think it is true -is it just a self defense so people don't think bad at me? -

People thoughts made me drawn into confusion, why i suddenly don't want to go home together again? Why im so selfish!?

And all of this things develop a temporary small conflict and gap between us two. (But ofcourse we are good again, until now and forever insyaAllaah)

So reading this article, finally im a bit understand about my self, the unexplained feelings i feel all this time. It turns out im doing that not because i hate or angry to her.

Alhamdulilah, kabutnya perlahan hilang. Kabut itu akan terus ada. Mungkin kita gak akan langsung paham & mengerti hal-hal yang ada dalam kabut, tetapi gak ada jalan pintas melalui hari itu, tetap harus melewati kabut di sekeliling semampu kita.

Sedikit kontemplasi..

Terkadang juga kita gak harus mengerti & tahu jawaban2 dari pertanyaan di hidup ini. Bersyukur juga karena kita cuma tahu sedikit & punya sifat lupa. Karena kalau kita tahu semuanya gak ada manfaatnya & bisa aja hal itu buruk u/ diketahui.

Semua itu berkat Allaah kita bisa melewati hari-hari sulit. Dikasih dorongan untuk melakukan ini-itu. Dan semua kesalahan aku sbg manusia bisa jadi pelajaran gimana kita bisa bersikap lebih bijak lagi dimasa depan (dgn pertolongan Allaah ✨)

#draft #tulisan

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jackalopey · 2 years

Text

this is about ridiculous online discourse so theres your warning to not read it

but i am so fucking tired of grown adults thinking that theyre in the right for going out of their way to belittle and patronise children on the internet

does it matter if a 15 year old thinks your ship is creepy? like, seriously, why does that bother you? if you’ve been tagging it appropriately then the 15 year old shouldnt be seeing it in the first place, but also, if you dont like what someone’s saying you can block them

i don’t understand how people can reach their late 20s, early 30s or older and still not know how to maturely handle disagreements, but then, i guess it’s not that uncommon for adults to be insanely disrespectful towards children

not like the whole ‘discourse’ is actually ‘adults v minors’, anyway. it’s ridiculous that it gets characterised that way. there are adults who are ‘antis’ and kids who are ‘proship’ (which, you know is a whole issue itself, but let’s not get into it)

im not an ‘anti’ or a ‘proship’ because i think both labels are absolutely ridiculous and reductive, and if you make shipping discourse a major part of your identity and youre not a 15 year old im going to think youre fucking weird and want nothing to do with you, though id take being around an ‘anti’ any day

because, like, what impact is the anti really going to have on the real world? you can block them and move on. if it gets really bad you can turn off your anon or spend less time online. sure that sucks for you, and im not pro-harassment, but there are practical things you can do to limit how much of an impact it has on you

but rape culture is a thing that impacts every survivor, which is what’s being perpetuated when people romanticise sexual assault, csa, grooming or incest. i can’t get away from a society that thinks im to blame for my abuse, that im over-reacting being traumatised, or that abuse simply doesnt happen. i cant just turn my computer off and get away from it because its fucking everywhere

‘fiction doesn’t impact reality’ is absolute bullshit and if you’re an adult you must know that’s true. the simple fact that you’re writing or reading fic is evidence of fiction impacting reality. there have been countless sociological studies on the impact of fiction on how we think, propaganda is a thing, and fiction impacting reality is the entire reason why things like positive representation matters. or do you also think its fine for every fictional character to be a white cishet man?

to you, what you’re writing or reading about might ‘just’ be fiction, and you may not think that impacts your real life, but to me and many other survivors it reflects things that we’ve really experienced, and attitudes that we’ve seen

you write a fic where someone gets groomed, but the fic presents this as cute and romantic? yeah, well, that’s how my abuser wanted our relationship to be presented, too. you write a fic that involves an incestuous relationship, but hey it’s not a big deal because it’s not like they lived together, or it’s not like they had a big age gap, or it’s okay because they really care for each other? cool, that’s another justification that abusers use. you can’t separate these things from reality because these are real ideas that real abusers use to control their real victims

what’s a fun ‘taboo’ story to you is a lifetime of real trauma to someone else

this shit is why i don’t feel safe engaging with fandom. i love writing, i love discussing fandom with other people, and i’ve even started to enjoy drawing, but it feels like more trouble than it’s worth. do i really want to risk having an episode because some self-centered, patronising git thinks that pedophilia is actually super hot? hell fucking no

and like, i dont think either side is ‘right’, because it’s not like either side is one set ideology, it’s a bunch of different people all saying different things. but when the worst crime of one side is saying ‘thats a problematic heigh difference’ and the worst crime of the other side is saying ‘that 6 year old is sexy’, it’s really fucking easy to decide which one i’d rather deal with

(and yes i know im strawmanning both sides there, thats the point)

like god yall are so hostile towards survivors, and you either don’t know or don’t care, but i’m erring more towards the second one, because i bet not a single proshipper would ever be willing to actually listen

literally all i want is to be able to engage with fandom without having to see this fucked up discourse, but yall keep proving my point by refusing to tag shit

(and none of this is even getting into the way some of yall think youre above criticism. you want your fanwork to be respected but only when people are kissing your ass. cant take basic levels of social critique, throwing a tantrum if a 15 yr old doesnt want to see your porn)

#.txt #discourse /#ill probably delete this later #im just having a bad day #and im so fucking tired of not being able to engage with my hobbies #because i dont know when im going to see the most fucked up thing ever #idc if anyone wants to talk about this but im not here to argue it #if you disagree with what im saying please do us both a favour and hardblock me #no one needs to read this bc its literally just a rant #abuse /#csa /

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m-jelly · 2 years

Note

Hi Jelly.. Can I request an angst fic (reincarnation AU) , *I kinda wanna make myself cry*. In which Levi and the reader is in a relationship but Levi is already distant because he felt overwhelmed by everything making him think he's losing interest and thinking he's slowly falling out of love to her? Then the reader confronts him about it leading to a huge painful argument whereof Levi said hurtful words (like- "I wish I never met you", etc.) And then the dreadful day happen- reader died in a mission. Levi cried and apologized to her grave cause he never got the chance to do so when she was still alive, they did not even have a proper goodbye. Later on, Levi lived that life full of regrets. In another life where both of them are reincarnated, Levi remembered everything vividly that he just waited to see and to be with reader again. He wanted to make it up everything for her. As they met each other again, their reunion was full of pain and happiness. Levi cried hard, he promises the reader that he'll love, protect and treat her right. That he'll never let her go again. Finally, they have happy ending in present life where Levi won't let them being apart again. (I'm so sorry if the description is too long)

I love your works. Each any of us, don't mind the prick that commented such awful thing. Everyday, I am always looking forward to read your posts, It makes my day complete and It makes my worries and tiredness wash away. You wrote everything well, especially Levi-my comfort character. You brought his character and presence deep and well to our mind and heart. You're one of the best writers that I admire, you are smart and kind. I hope you're doing well. Lots of Love ❤

Ohhh we want pain? I'm happy to provide! Dont' be sorry about the long description, because it helps me know exactly the story plan you want and I can just fill in the gaps ;) I weirdly have a reincarnation story idea for Ao3 that's in the works for the future. So, this can help me with the angst. Plus, this is such a great idea! So, I don't know if people have played it, but I will be a bit inspired by AOT 2 game for reader's good act. Also Manga Spoilers!

Levi didn't understand why you wanted him as a lover and boyfriend. He couldn't figure it all out. You confused him, but he loved you. You really were his life and soul, yet you made him think and feel things he didn't understand. He acted in a way that wasn't him. He saw himself becoming soft to the scouts and he didn't like it. He had a reputation to hold.

You showed him new things in life, like holding someone, kissing and sex. You were Levi's first. The two of you explored life and love together, but then he started being consumed by his feelings. Levi was focused on only you and he overheard the scouts talking saying he had become a pushover. Levi hated that people thought he was weak, because if he'd become weak then he couldn't protect you.

You started noticing Levi was getting distant. He wasn't hugging you or kissing you as much as he used to. Levi was spending all his time training himself and others. The sex even disappeared and Levi was very hungry before for your body, but now it's like he didn't even want to look at it. The days you spent helping him with paperwork, as well as living with him in his room became less and less. You spent many nights lying in his bed waiting for him, but he never came. You'd dress up for him, but he never noticed anymore.

One night as you lay in bed, Levi had finally come back. You listened to him undress, then pull on his night things. He slipped into bed and you waited for your goodnight kiss, but nothing happened. You lay there and felt cold as the tears welled up in your eyes. You felt unlovable in that moment.

You rolled onto your side and looked to Levi with his back to you. "Levi?" You stared at him, but he didn't move or say anything. "Levi?" You reached over and lightly touched him. "Levi."

Levi turned and glared at you. "Tch, what!?"

You retreated and gulped. "I umm. I was wondering how your day was."

He rolled back over with his back to you. "Same as every fucking day."

You sat up and looked down at Levi. You leaned down to kiss Levi's cheek, but he flinched then sat up and smacked your arm and chest. You winced at the pain, then looked to Levi as he stared at you in the dark.

Levi gritted his teeth. "The fuck are you doing?"

You welled up. "I was just giving you a goodnight kiss."

He lay down in bed. "Just go to sleep."

"I love you."

Levi clenched up at your words. "If you won't shut up, then go to your room."

You stared at Levi, then rubbed your tears away. "What happened to you, to us?"

Levi sighed. "What do you want from me? You want a fucking sob story? Leave me the fuck alone."

You hugged yourself. "But we need to talk. You don't kiss me, hug me or sleep with me anymore. You avoid me as much as possible. You speak to me worse than you do the cadets. What did I do? Tell me what I can do to fix this, to fix us."

Levi clenched his jaw tightly. "You make me into someone I don't like. You make me weak and soft. I'm a disgrace."

You moved closer. "You're none of those things. You're strong and amazing. You are humanity's strongest! You haven't changed. The only thing that has, is your heart has gotten bigger. You care more."

"Caring gets you killed! Loving someone gets you killed!"

You stared at him as he lay there in the dark. "So, what are you saying?"

He pulled the covers up more. "Sometimes I wish I never met you."

You sat for a while in the dark, then you slipped out of bed. You changed into your clothes and grabbed the things that belonged to you. You walked to the door and looked back at Levi. "Goodbye Levi."

You went right to your room, then sat at your desk and stared into the void. As the days went on, you barely ate anything. You trained by yourself and away from Levi. You kept your distance from him, but he still seemed to be in a terrible mood. In fact, Levi seemed to be in a worse mood now you were acting like the two of you were broken up. You didn't understand what he wanted anymore. So, you decided to write a letter to explain how you felt about him.

When you got ready to go out on a mission, Levi was there for the send off and his eyes were on you. You didn't say anything to him as you got onto your horse, then left with the group to go on a experdition led by Hange. Usually, the others came with but this didn't need everyone invovled. You were just going to go out, investigate titan activity and then come back. Hange also wanted to inspect the land where titans had been, so maybe she could find out how they work and move.

Everything was going so well and smooth, but then something went wrong. It was a mess and people were getting hurt and killed for stupid reasons. Everyone rushed to get away and it ended up with you riding in the back of an open carriage with the injured. You looked back behind to see titans running for you all. You knew no one was as skilled as you, but it really was suicide.

You gulped hard, then put your hand in your pocket and pulled out a letter you'd written to Levi of all your feelings. "Hange!?"

Hange moved her horse closer and shouted back. "Yes!?"

You handed the letter over to her. "Give this to Levi and tell him." You welled up. "Tell him I'm sorry!"

Hange looked to the letter, then up to see you pull out your blades. She shouted your name. "What are you doing!?"

You looked to the titans running closer. "I have to do this, because someone else would get it wrong." You smiled at Hange. "It's been an honour."

Hange screamed your name and watched you lead the titans away. Hnage took her squad to the extraction zone and waited, but you didn't show up and there were no titans either. She kept waiting, then she and two others rode their horses to where you were last seen. She told everyone to spread out and call if they find something. She heard a shout, then raced over to see a blade stuck up out of the ground. She got closer and saw your lifeless body, eyes void of life. She could see you used up all your gas, broken all your blades and fought until the bitter end. You'd managed to kill off the titans, but it seems in your fight that they had beaten you badly. The last titan you'd killed must have landed on you giving you a finishing blow.

Hange returned with your body covered up. She slipped off her horse and saw Levi looking around for you. She walked over to him and handed him the letter. "She says she's sorry."

Levi gripped, the letter and looked down at it. "What...what do you mean?" He watched her walk away without a word, then he saw the carriage go past with a body covered in a sheet. "Hange. Hange what happened!?"

Hange turned to the scouts gathering around and announced your name. "Face down a group of charging titans so the rest of us could live. She attacked them head on and killed every last one of them until her body and gear gave up. It was the bravest thing I've ever seen."

Levi felt his soul leave his body. He then became devoid of life. He held onto your letter and didn't read it, not even at your funeral. One day he visited your grave after everyone had cleared out. He sat at your gravestone, then opened your letter and read your words of love. You told him how he meant the world to you and you'd always love him in this life and beyond. You said you were sorry for everything and that you weren't there enough for him. You told him you'd do better if he gave you a second chance.

Levi clenched the letter tightly, then cried. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He turned to your gravestone and hugged it. "Please, come back to me. Tell me this is all a lie. Tell me this is a dream. Come back to me. Let me hear you say you love me one last time." Levi waited, but he heard nothing. You were gone.

Levi carried your letter with him for the rest of his life. He regretted it forever and the darkness in his heart showed to others. At the end of the war, when Eren was dead, he was now in a wheelchair with a bad leg and a scarred face. He'd read your letter over and over and made people promise that he be buried next to you with his letter written by you. As old age took over Levi, they started preparing just like they asked and when he passed away in his dream filled sleep full of you, he was taken care of the way he wanted.

Levi didn't expect that all of these memories, this pain of war, loss and hardship would appear again, but it did. When he was born into his new life, all of his old friends were back. Erwin was alive and well as his boss. Hange was a researcher at the company. Mike was a department leader and none of them remembered their past life, but Levi did. Levi didn't understand why he was tormented and weighted by pain. He was happy that his mother lived in this life and he got to spend his life with her, but he still didn't know who his dad was.

The one thing that pained him the most, that he spent plenty of money on was trying to find you. Levi did everything he could, he even searched social media like a possessed man, but found nothing. He was pained and this time he had no letter to clutch as his heart called for you. He was beginning to give up and his heart was pained, so today he decided to go home to his mum's apartment and gain comfort from his mother.

He opened her door and sighed. "I'm home mum." He frowned when he saw a pair of woman's shows by the door, then he tuned in to his mother laughing at someone. He frowned, then walked in further. "Mum? What's going on?"

Kuchel turned her head and smiled at Levi. "Oh hey sweetheart! Lovely to see you. I do love your surprise visits." She walked over and hugged him. "Mm! I love you so much, my sweet man."

Levi blushed. "Love you too. So, who are you takling to?"

She gasped. "Oh! She's my next door neighbour." She turned and gave Levi a full view of you stood up and smiling. She said your name and smiled. "She came over with lovely baked things." She leaned over and whispered. "She's single too."

Levi walked past his mother and right up to you to see a tear run down your cheek. He said your name. "Hi."

You smiled brightly. "Hi Levi."

Kuchel looked at you and Levi. "I'll head to the shop and get you kids some food."

You looked away from Levi and walked over to Kuchel. "No need Kuchel. I'm actually going home now. I have a little dog waiting for me." You gave Kuchel a hug. "Thank you for having me over." You slipped on your shoes, then waved. "Bye." You looked to Levi. "Goodbye Levi."

Levi's heart stung as he saw you in the past saying the same words as you left his room. Levi stood there for a moment, then chased after you. Levi knocked on your door, then jumped when the door opened and a little dog ran towards him. "What the?"

You picked up the pup and laughed. "Sorry, Levi is a little scamp."

Levi stared at you. "Le...vi?"

You smiled at him. "Yeah. I named him after you."

Levi's eyes widened. "You. You remember?"

You stepped to the side. "You should come inside."

Levi walked into your place, then slipped his shoes off. He walked around your place to see art work everywhere. "You're an artist?" He stopped in front of a painting of him in his gear from the old life. "Wow."

You smiled. "I paint the war we were in. It's really popular. People are a little scared of the titans I paint." You hummed a laugh. "But it's a good scared." You looked to Levi. "I remember everything we went through and the pain I went through. My death hurt a lot and I weirdly remember that."

Levi looked to you. "I'm sorry." You both locked eyes. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you." He welled up. "I was a fucking fool. I thought I was weak and couldn't protect you, but as a result I pushed you away. I was crushed when you died. I almost lived by your gravestone and I was buried with your letter."

You stared at Levi and blushed. "You were buried with my letter?"

He nodded. "I was buried next to you as well." He dropped to his knees. "I'm so sorry. I know that nothing I can do could fix my words and actions, but I'm so sorry. I know you could never love me again, but I will always love you."

You smiled at Levi. "Didn't I tell you that I'd love you in that life and beyond? Hell Levi, I made a life out of painting you over and over. I might have made some racy ones, but we won't talk about that. I named my dog after you because I love you so much." You put your dog down. "I still love you." You knelt down and hugged him. "I'll always love you." You cupped his face and smiled. "I love you."

Levi crashed his lips against yours, then yanked you close to him. "I love you too. I love you always."

He slowly lowered you down onto your floor, then he traced your body with loving touches and kisses like he used to. Levi remembered your body as if it was in his very soul. He showed you love all night long. After that, there was no question about it. You and Levi were a couple right away. He moved you into his place, along with little Levi and had the life you both dreamed of. Instead of growing old alone, he grew old with you and his kids. He made sure that this time, you knew how much he loved you. He dedicated himself to you and you did to him

#snk levi #fanfic #levi x y/n #levi x you #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #aot x you #levi ackerman #captain levi

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