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mumms-the-word · 28 days

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Illithid Souls - Part 3

The Case Studies: Karlach and Gale

Welcome to the third and final part of this wild deep dive rabbit hole monstrosity that is the three-part series about illithid souls and whether mind flayers, or specifically you as a mind flayer, have a soul.

If you read Part 1 and Part 2, then you know that yes, illithids have souls, they're just different souls that the gods don't recognize as souls because they're non-apostolic, or incapable of divine worship (as opposed to being apostolic like most humanoid souls). You now also know that you turning into a mind flayer is a bit of a special case because of the Netherese magic in the tadpoles, and this might be why you retain more of your soul than normal mind flayers would.

Also, a quick reminder of the two theories we're working with here: Theory 1 is that when someone becomes a mind flayer they essentially just die and their (apostolic) soul moves on to the Fugue Plane and the mind flayer body just gets a new illithid soul from somewhere. Theory 2 is that when someone becomes a mind flayer their soul is transformed and altered into an illithid soul, which remains tethered to the mind flayer body. BG3 seems to operate more on the Theory 2 side of things, but as we'll see with Karlach and Gale, it's more complicated than you think.

So let's deep dive, shall we?

The Case of Karlach

I'm going to be candid here and say that the mind flayer ending for Karlach makes me really sad, even knowing that there's a very high chance that her soul is mostly intact and she is mostly still Karlach. But there's no denying she's at least a little different, though the game tries to comfort us otherwise after she transforms.

Narrator: *She is transformed. Her body is no longer hers, but her eyes, her heart - she is still Karlach, for now. Only - there's a hunger in her eyes that wasn't there before.*

That "for now" is rather ominous, isn't it? But we have enough evidence from Tav/Durge/other Origins and Orpheus to suggest that the likelihood of her retaining her memories and her personality is very high. In fact, when you talk to her during the epilogue, she does seem mostly the same, though her language has mellowed out to a more formal tone and she speaks less colloquially (and swears less and less).

If you talk to her immediately after she transforms, she marvels that she's still "herself" but also "more," which again reinforces that we all get to be special mind flayers who don't completely lose our souls. But I think there are some interesting lines in this dialogue:

Karlach: This is wild. I'm myself but... but more. Player: I don't like the sound of that. Karlach: Don't worry, soldier. It's still your old pal under all this purple. But suddenly 'I' am different than I ever knew. And my engine, it's... it's... silent. No heat. No gears. Still there, but no longer threatening to explode. Soldier... Player: I guess turning into an illithid has its perks. Karlach: Here I thought I was making a sacrifice. Thank the gods I'm a noble fuck! Shit. I'm gonna be all right. I get to be alive. I get to stay. As a hideous monster, sure. But one that can feel. Think. Live. But I'm still myself. And I know what our mission is. I'm glad I get to the do the honours.

Karlach reiterates over and over that she's still herself, but you can literally hear the change in her voice. Where normally her tone and volume would be boisterous, loud, and energetic, she's now calm and mellow, even when she's swearing. Her tone here is more one of wonder. It isn't just the internal and external fires that have calmed down, her overall demeanor seems "cooler" too.

Also, in her romance ending just before the epilogue, where you're both in the Elfsong Tavern room, you can mention that she does seem a little altered.

Player: I still love you, Karlach. I still want to be with you. Karlach: I love you too. Before, that love was an irrepressible inferno. Now it is a calm, cool object of beauty. Player: I can see you're still yourself, but there's something else in there too. An illithid calm. Karlach: Maybe you're right. I feel less... changeable. Less afraid. I feel ready for whatever is to come.

It doesn't tell us much, but it does reinforce that when we or any of our companions turn into a mind flayer, we likely retain a lot of our former personality, but in a much more calm, even-keeled kind of way. Again going back to the idea that our soul is still there, still mostly the same, but has been made a bit more illithid.

What is more interesting for Karlach, specifically, is her discussion of her diet as a mind flayer. Remember what souls are allegedly made up of? Intelligence, personality, and what else?

Memories.

Karlach: For example, my favourite food used to be mutton chops. Do you know what it is now? Brains, soldier. Brains. Player: Comes with the illithid territory, I suppose. Karlach: True. But I've found ways to maintain my values while respecting that which I am - that which made it possible for me to live. I've made arrangements with a healer in the city. When a patient is beyond saving, but still able to speak for themselves, they're offered a choice. They can go as nature intends to take them. Or, when they're ready - when their goodbyes have been said, their affairs settled, and all that awaits them is pain - I relieve them. When I consume their brains, I am nourished by much more than the physical nutrition. Their memories - from birth to death - become part of me. I've lived hundreds of childhoods, first loves, marriages, feuds and friendships. I remember them all. And in this way, we all live on. Together.

There's so much to unpack here. One, she still remembers her values, even six months later, but is trying to negotiate her former humanoid values (and personality, I imagine) with her needs as a mind flayer. That seems very Karlach, through and through.

But then, when she consumes these dying patients' brains, she absorbs and retains their memories. I imagine their souls still go on to the Fugue Plane, because I highly doubt that mind flayers also consume souls when they eat brains, but it still leaves me with questions. Karlach isn't part of a hivemind, which normally circulates memories between each other, but she's becoming a similar kind of receptacle for memories, and only she is the one that contains them, rather than an entire hivemind.

I have to wonder how much something like constantly consuming and remembering memories that are not your own affects you as a person/creature. Does that eventually lead to a loss of self, as you begin to "live" multiple different lives? Or does it all count as mere knowledge?

In some ways this would put her in competition with any elder brains still out there, but she's also not collecting knowledge for the sake of knowledge. She's collecting memories and living them out in her mind, which is a certain kind of tragedy. She's literally living vicariously through these people because her mind flayer body is too scary to go out and about in, and she's making up for a decade of life she didn't get to live. She's alive, but she's not...living if that makes sense. And again...how long before all these memories start to change who she is?

(An aside. I really don’t think her eating brains and collecting memories keeps someone’s soul from moving on. If you use the spell Speak with Dead, you don’t call back an entire soul, but the corpse still has access to its memories. I think in this case, even though memories make up part of a soul, Karlach consuming brains and collecting memories is more like her downloading a copy of the memories for herself. The dead person likely still takes their own memories with them to the Fugue Plane, where they will be judged by Kelemvor or collected by their favorite deity. She’s just copy/pasting data, not transferring everything from one hard drive to another, if that analogy makes sense.)

This arrangement where Karlach consumes the brains of dying patients is expanded or clarified a bit if you're romancing her during the epilogue, and also includes a reference to souls as well.

Karlach: I can’t wait to say hello, but to be honest, I’m keen to visit the doctor before it gets too late. He said there’s a potential in his infirmary. A very old woman recently diagnosed with a wasting sickness. She seemed interested in what I have to offer. I’ll want to have a good long talk with her before we make an arrangement. Though if I’m being very selfish, I hope she’ll say yes. I’m absolutely famished - and think of all those memories. Player: Glad to hear. I was worried you were getting hungry. Karlach: I don’t hide it well, do I? Some things don’t change, even when everything else does. It’s funny. I’m hungry in my body, but in my soul too. That woman has lived a long life - births, deaths, love, misfortune. And if she agrees, I’ll be able to give her a dignified end, and remember it all in her honour.

Or if you go with a different option:

Player: I'm still not sure how I feel about this arrangement. Are you sure it's ethical to feed on the dying? Karlach: I'm sure of very little these days. But at least this way, I can live. And those who offer themselves to me can live on too. Births, first loves, marriages, losses - I remember them all and always will. Each memory I've consumed is of value.

It's just so interesting to me. One, her remark that she's eager to say hello but slightly more interested in chatting to a doctor about her next meal suggests that some elements of becoming a mind flayer are much harder to ignore. I imagine if she's hungry, she feels less like Karlach. (And I have thoughts, for another post, about whether she becomes "too fixated" on living when she's a mind flayer, given the cost of what it means to stay alive as a mind flayer.)

But she also says she's hungry in her soul. Her soul seems deeply interested in these memories, and I wonder if that's because memories are (or could be) part of souls themselves. Maybe the remark isn't really that deep, but she specifically connects the hunger of her soul to all the memories a long-lived woman will have. It's almost as if these memories nurture her soul, but it's unclear whether that is because it's somehow healing to see and "experience" life in ways she can't now that she's a mind flayer, or if it's because the memories have some kind of tangible effect on her soul/souls in general.

I suppose we won't know for sure. What we do know from Karlach's case, however, is that a great deal of the original soul (personality, memories, etc) seems to stick around even six months later, though there are noticeable changes in personality, such as an overall calm demeanor. There are also hints that consuming brains could lead to further changes down the road, but there's nothing really concrete. Just hints.

In the end, Karlach is still Karlach, and her soul still has plenty of elements of the original Karlach, even six months later. This is a good sign, but we can't completely ignore that her new body/mind as a mind flayer will necessarily mean some things have permanently changed. Whether you judge those changes as good or bad is up to you.

With that said, let's move on to the final and most mind-boggling case.

The Case of Gale

If you play a companion as an Origin run, the mind flayer decision typically works out the same way as Tav...unless you're playing as Gale. Gale gets some extra options at the end of the game.

This is mostly because Gale has perhaps the most apostolic soul that hangs in the balance, second only to Shadowheart, and her soul pendulum swings between Selûne and Shar. Gale, however, seems to be walking on a knife's edge trying to retain or earn back entry into Elysium, Mystra's domain in the Outer Planes. He's allegedly already been there, though not as a dead soul, so he knows what's at stake if his soul suddenly becomes non-apostolic or disappears.

In other words, Gale has a formerly Faithful apostolic soul, but he spends much of the game probably worried his soul will be judged as False when he dies (since he lost Mystra's favor) until Mystra offers her brand of forgiveness, which is essentially "if you sacrifice your own life, I'll let you into Elyisum again." It's a guarantee that he ends up in the afterlife he wants to be in. That's what Mystra's forgiveness really boils down to.

Now, this is a man who does not want to sacrifice his soul, and also (Netherese orb aside) does not want to die if his soul is going to be judged as False by Kelemvor rather than welcomed into Elysium as a Faithful soul. We know that Gale finds the Fugue Plane exceedingly depressing, so I can't imagine he has any desire to wander around it for any stretch of time, even if Mystra does eventually deign to invite him into Elysium. I'm sure the thought of becoming part of the Wall of the Faithless might as well be hell to him.

Gale: It’s a relief to be back in beautiful Faerûn. The dreariness of the Fugue Plane oppresses one’s soul so very quickly.

[mumm's note: yes my man died in service of a Tactician battle against Grym, but he got better]

It's a little surprising to see how adamantly Gale would prefer to choose the Netherese orb over letting himself or anyone he cares for become illithid. Look at some of what he says when he tries to offer the orb as an option for the final battle:

Gale: An easy proposition for the Emperor to make - 'become a mind flayer' - it has no soul to sacrifice. If it did - perhaps it would understand the weight of what it's asking of us. And why we might seek an alternative.

I couldn't get this next dialogue to trigger in my game, but in the same conversation as above you might potentially get the option to remind him about Mystra's offer to cure his orb condition, and even then he reminds you of the stakes that come with becoming a mind flayer.

Player: Mystra will cure you if we bring her the Crown of Karsus. You don't need to do this. Gale: To cure me of the orb, yes. But what of the guilt of allowing one of my friends to sacrifice their very soul and become illithid?

Now keep in mind, up to this point no one has shown any evidence that turning into a mind flayer won't actually mean the total destruction of one's soul. Up until now, the only evidence anyone has of an original soul remaining intact inside a mind flayer body is the Emperor (we have no frame of reference for who Omeluum was before he was a mind flayer), and most of the companions do not trust the Emperor one bit. So Gale genuinely thinks that becoming a mind flayer means your soul is either destroyed or changed so much that it's no longer you.

I mean, think about it. He's half expecting you to take the tadpole the Emperor offers and literally cease to exist. He's expecting to fight alongside a mind flayer who has, at best, your name and a few scraps of your memory, and at worst, no shred of you at all. Because again, up until this point in the game, none of them realize that they could become a special mind flayer who does actually retain most (if not all) of their soul, including their personality and memories.

Gale literally thinks that blowing up and going to the Fugue Plane is better than you or any companion becoming a mind flayer.

But that's in a companion run. Obviously, if you play him as an Origin, you can have him turn into a mind flayer as a different kind of ultimate sacrifice. The decision plays out the same as a Tav/Durge run or any other Origin run. But after the game ends, Gale gets unique dialogue if he (1) sacrifices himself or (2) does not sacrifice himself and goes to meet Mystra with the Crown in hand.

Any run of his sacrifice (aka, using the orb, regardless of whether or not he is illithid) results in Withers finding him in the Fugue Plane for a brief conversation. This conversation isn't much different if Gale is a mind flayer when he uses the orb, since all it does is add an extra option to their conversation that references being illithid ("One illithid for the whole of Faerûn seems like a fair trade to me," which replaces the option "One wizard for the whole of Faerûn...etc").

(An aside, I don't have an Origin Gale run so I can't test this, but I think if he ends his life on the docks as a mind flayer, the way Tav/Durge can with a knife got the stomach, then he just gets the usual Tav/Durge conversation with Withers about how his form has "something of the spirit" about him. See Part 2 if you're curious about that conversation.)

What this conversation with Withers reveals is how much control Mystra seems to have over his soul, especially if/when he's a mind flayer. If Gale decides to sacrifice himself using the Netherese Orb, Withers remarks about how surprising it is that Mystra hasn’t picked him up yet.

Withers: Who flickers there ‘twixt the shadows? Gale, who didst surrender his very self for the salvation of Faerûn. I feared I might not find thee here - that Mystra would have already plucked thy thread from the tapestry of fate. But she may wait a while yet.

It’s a little unclear if Withers uses “plucked thy thread from the tapestry of fate” to mean Gale gets to go to Elysium or something else, and it’s equally unclear whether Mystra waiting is a sign of displeasure or a sign that she is interested in sending Gale back to the Material Plane. She is capable of doing that, after all, and has frequently resurrected her Chosens, like Elminster, if it suits her.

But I highlight this conversation to show that you can get it as a mind flayer, and (if you are a mind flayer during this scene) that Mystra waiting isn't because he's a mind flayer and she can't find his soul. She waits for a minute regardless of whether he's illithid or not. But Withers is certain Mystra will be able to find Gale's soul, because he was able to find Gale's soul and recognize it as Gale.

So, not to harp on this again and again, but it's proof that turning into a mind flayer didn't destroy Gale's soul. It's still Gale's soul, even in the Fugue Plane, even if he's mind-flayer-shaped, and that soul is still capable of journeying to Elysium, should Mystra bother to find it wandering the Fugue Plane (or wherever he is).

But things are a little different if Gale decides to become a mind flayer and then goes to visit Mystra with the Crown of Karsus in hand. Keep in mind, Origin!Gale always has the option to face off against Mystra after the defeat of the Netherbrain, and this face-off is where he decides to hand over the Crown, become the god of ambition, or straight up try to fight Mystra.

However! If Gale is a mind flayer, he gets a secret fourth option.

If Gale goes to meet Mystra as an illithid with the Crown of Karsus and then gives up the Crown to her, Mystra offers to take Gale to Elysium with her. More than that, she offers to literally restore his humanity and cure him of illithidness.

Sort of.

Mystra: So, Gale of Waterdeep, you have become the inheritor of Karsus’ powers at last. What do you intend to do with them? Gale: I came to surrender them. The Crown, the Karsite Weave - take it all. Mystra: This offering cost you greatly. There is no hope in life as an illithid, devoid of soul and conscience. It is within my power to restore your soul, and your humanity, if you are willing to leave the mortal realms behind. Return with me, to Elysium.

No one else is offering this kind of deal to an Origin-turned-mind-flayer. Selûne and Shar don’t care if Shadowheart turns illithid, and Withers isn’t exactly offering to restore souls and humanity (or…mortalness?) to everyone else. This is a signifier of the sheer amount of power Mystra has, yes, but this also hints at some other things.

One, despite evidence of the contrary, Mystra is adamant that Gale-as-illithid is or would be “devoid of soul and conscience,” even though we know that that likely isn’t true (just see Karlach, Tav/Durge, etc). Perhaps Mystra is unaware that Gale is a Special Mind Flayer (seems unlikely), or perhaps she’s simply trying to convince Gale to come with her. After all, what she’s offering is still a kind of reward.

Then again, maybe Gale and/or Mystra fear the long-term effects of illithidness. Maybe over time he would become less and less like Gale, perhaps due to consuming memories, or other factors that come with being a mind flayer. Still, though, saying that his life would be "devoid of soul and conscience" seems like a massive stretch on Mystra's part.

But anyway, the reward for him turning into a mind flayer and giving her the Crown is a restoration of his humanity...but only in death.

Mystra: Return with me, to Elysium. Devnote: respectful - Gale sacrificed his humanity to achieve what she asked. If he’s willing to die on the mortal planes, she will restore his soul and body but in the heavens.

Now before I get to what happens if Gale agrees to this reward, I want to point out that Mystra herself sort of acknowledges that Gale isn't exactly devoid of soul and conscience if he refuses her offer. Here are some of the ways Gale can turn her down, with her answer to each option being the same:

Gale: [Option 1] Thank you, but no. I have someone waiting for me. Gale: [Option 2] Perhaps one day, but for now there is more I need to accomplish. Gale: [Option 3] Being an illithid has its advantages. I'm content as I am. Mystra: Then you are free to go with both my thanks and my promise - henceforth, your prayers will always be answered.

The whole idea of an apostolic soul is that it means the person is capable of worshipping a divine being, and this worship ncludes prayers. She might have said that him being illithid would mean he would be devoid of soul and conscience, but in nearly the same breath she promises to answer all his prayers. So she recognizes something of a soul within him. So why say he would be devoid of soul?

Of course, things get weird if Gale accepts her offer to be restored and go to Elyisum. If Gale agrees, then she fulfills her promise and even restores his place as one of her Chosen.

Gale: I crave nothing more. Take me to Elysium. Mystra: So be it. Gale of Waterdeep, Chosen of Mystra. Cinematic Tag: Mystra transforms Mindflayer Gale back to his human form (hollow) and grabs Gale’s hand. They return to Elysium.

This is wild to me. You see, originally when I started this project I thought I was going to be writing posts about how interesting it is that when you become a mind flayer, your soul is probably hanging out in the Fugue Plane or something, and eventually I’d suggest that Mystra is able to restore Gale’s soul to him because it’s already gone to her domain or she knows how to find it because he used to be so faithful to her. But none of that works now.

Because now I’m convinced that the Netherese tadpole changes everyone into a Special Mind Flayer whose soul is still present in their mind flayer bodies, just altered or transformed. So what’s up with this stuff from Mystra? She recognizes Gale as Gale even when he's a mind flayer and promises to answer his prayers, so clearly there's some kind of apostolic soul thing going on here. So why does she offer to "restore his soul," and also, why only in death?

She does say that she will restore Gale’s humanity, so now I assume that somehow her powers allow her to un-alter Gale’s soul so that it isn’t so illithid anymore. My idea is that she’s essentially restoring his soul to its former state and not, as we might otherwise infer, literally giving him his soul back, as if it were separate from his body. Gale’s soul is still in his mind flayer body, if all the rest of the evidence holds any water, so Mystra must have merely changed it back to the way it was.

quick picture break, this is from Northalix's video, linked below

Which makes me wonder, can a completely original, apostolic-type soul exist in an illithid body? Or does the body dictate that the soul must be somewhat illithid in order to be compatible?

Because the thing is, this deal comes with an ultimatum. She’s not going to let him go back to the mortal realms after she’s restored his soul. She probably could—she’s probably capable of doing that, if only by giving him a completely new body (she's done that before with Elminster). But she doesn’t. The cure comes with a cost. He only gets to be human again if he agrees to die completely and join her in Elysium. There is no undoing the illithid sacrifice, which seems more like a game limitation than a Mystra limitation (although we can certainly brainstorm reasons why Mystra would be so petty as to basically say "I can make you human again but only if you die completely.")

I want to point out that Mystra doesn't offer to let Gale come back to Elysium as a dead guy if he's not a mind flayer. Like, we don't get the sparkly ascension scene if he blows up with the Netherese orb, we get the Withers visit in the Fugue Plane. This Elysium offer is an illithid-only option. If he's not a mind flayer and he returns the Crown, she cures him of the Netherese Orb and sends him back. There's no option to join her in Elysium. Why is this an illithid-only option?

Also, just...I need you to watch the scene.

youtube

There's a lot that bothers me about this. One, the gestures she makes are the exact gestures God!Gale makes when he ascends Tav/Durge if they romanced him and agreed to become a god with him. Do with that what you will. But two...it just gives me the ick. This is a different kind of ascension for Gale. It's a restoration of his place in Elysium, but it ultimately means his premature death. If this is the route you take as him...it's hardly better than him sacrificing himself using the Netherese Orb without becoming a mind flayer. Only this time, we get to see the scene where he goes to Elysium, I guess.

It also massively complicates the whole idea that everyone gets to be a special mind flayer with a mostly-intact, mostly-apostolic soul. If the soul didn't change, why does Mystra need to "restore" it? And if it did change, why is Mystra the only one capable of un-changing it back to its original form (is it because he’s her Chosen and is/was so faithful)?And if such a thing is possible, why offer it and then say "but you're dead now"?

It seems as though her "fixing" Gale's soul was really just her...I don't know, separating it from his physical mind flayer body so the illithid anatomy wouldn't mess with it as much, and then dusting off his soul, which is now bodyless, and taking it with her to Elysium. I'm not saying that's what she did, but that's the weird vibes I get from this interaction. Like, there seems to be some kind of implication that you can't have a fully humanoid, apostolic soul housed within an illithid body. The soul has to be altered somehow to work with the illithid body.

So why not just give him a new body, Mystra??? Fix is soul and give him a new body! You’re absolutely capable of that!

I have so many questions.

Of course, keep in mind that Gale can reject her, obviously, and return to the mortal realms as a mind flayer. She does acknowledge that he has at least something of a soul that can pray to her so...I mean, there's that.

Anyways, what have we learned?

The Summary

With Karlach, we see that being a mind flayer does necessarily change parts of a person's personality (which, again, is part of their soul). Usually this results in a person seeming calmer, more mellow, less emotional than they normally would have been, but it does seem that for Tav/Durge, the companions, and Orpheus that turning into a mind flayer doesn't completely destroy their soul. It just seems to alter it a bit. In my opinion, the soul just becomes a tiny bit more illithid. Karlach’s case does leave us with questions about how “good” consuming and retaining so many memories might be in the long run, but as of six months post-ceremorphosis, she seems fine.

From Gale, we learn that apparently it's possible to restore or un-alter a partly-illithid soul so that it goes back to normal, but this power is extremely rare and likely relegated to the gods alone (or a particularly powerful Wish spell). We're also reminded that keeping recognizable parts of one's soul, like the personality and memories, is a huge surprise, because that's not how normal mind flayers work. We know this from Orpheus, but Gale just kinda reinforced it.

I guess we also learned that Mystra is a massive—but I should keep this civil. We all know what Mystra is.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that she's unwilling to accept Gale into her domain while he is still a mind flayer, even though his soul obviously would fit the bill based on what a soul is/does for the gods. He has a viable apostolic soul, it’s just mind-flayer-shaped!I'm sure Mystra thinks she's being magnanimous by offering him eternity as a human in Elysium, but I think it ultimately just shows how shallow she can be. Gale only gets to come back if he’s not mind flayer shaped.

And I think, deep down, Gale has always suspected that would be the case.

And on that familiar note, my friends, thank you for joining me on this excessively long deep dive into mind flayer souls and things we can learn from the game and the lore.

~*~*~

If you made it to the end, congrats! More gold stars for you!

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

If you read through all three parts and also made it to the end of this one, you are the real MVP and I wish I had stickers or achievements to give you so you can be like "I survived another three-part deep dive from mumm." But I don't even have a lousy T-Shirt to offer you.

You can have this random picture instead though :> it's my Tav Dani looking very unimpressed by the Emperor's offer of sexy times (sorry not sorry Empy, she's got a man and his name is Gale and she prefers him and all her friends to be tentacle-free)

Enjoy the lore and remember that it's all up to you to decide what you want to keep or reject! I'm just showing you what's out there!

Tags for those who wanted an update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #bg3 lore #bg3 deep dive #bg3 discourse #gale #gale dekarios #karlach #mind flayer #IT'S DONE #this is the wildest one I think and the one I wanted to write the most so #yay #why do I DO THIS to myself omg

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wren-dy-flowergarden · 9 months

Note

Can I request? You don’t have to if you don’t want:)

Where the reader is to someone he was brought from the real world, and yuu is like still there, so like yuu and the reader, both get teleported from different parts of the real world and they get teleported into twisted wonderland together. However the reader doesn’t get acknowledged as much as yuu, because yuu is more out there and the reader kinda keeps to herself but the reader has a crush on mallus and she’s make it known to him. However, he has disregarded her feelings and practically made it obvious that he prefers yuu over the reader which breaks the reader’s heart, and let’s say the only person who knows about the reader or pay attention to the reader is Rook, and Rook talks to the reader as a best friend in a way. Let’s say during mallus’s overbot she takes a hit that was meant for yuu and she gets really really hurt. As she’s in pain yuu take the chance to defeat mallus, the reader starts to feel a bit woozy and this gains the attention of yuu and mallus and everyone around, but the reader disappear like the evaporate, a bit like how in Demon slayer when you defeat the demons in a more of flowery way. The plot twist is that the reader is not dead but, they return back to the point in the real world as if time had not changed, and at this point mallus is upset and tries to move on like yuu has but realises after a while how much he actually likes the reader’s attention and has feeling for the reader not yuu. He then becomes very distraught after the realisation and find ways to bring back the reader. you can ask me for part two if you want any more ideas I guess.

You can ignore this if you already busy. ☺️😊(sorry for the mistakes🥹)

*ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴A/N: BRUH why is this so good. I felt like I was reading a story more than a request when I read your ideas. I’m lowkey just adding my own head cannons onto this with a little bit of pazzah, pls tag me if you ever write this as a full story, part 2 and everything! ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ" I will probably not write a pt2 just because I am terrible at writing parts 2. Not completely happy with this one-I don’t think this is that fluffy with all the info/thoughts in my head, but I tried to flesh it out in my own way!

*ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴Malleus x f!Reader (NOT YUU)

*ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴WC: 1.2k!

*ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴Tags: bittersweet love, pinning, one sided love, miscommunication of feelings, fake!death, some dragon tendencies like possessiveness, got a good amount of mistakes in here so pls forgive me *cries*

It really wasn’t fair. You peered over the railing, looking out into the night. The fairy lights and moon shine against Yuu- short, chopped hair accenting their feminine features, an innocent like beauty, outgoing and extroverted unlike yourself. She was the main character here as she stood next to Malleus, quiet, ebony hair that drapes down his shoulders. He tucks a slimmer of her hair behind her ears.

Yuun affirmed that there was nothing between them. That she had no feelings- she didn’t even know his real name! And that was ridiculous, because how could she not see the regal air around him?

He doesn’t notice you; that because Yuu is perfect. She is the sun shining and you are the shadow that it casts.

Your confession came out of the blue. Yuu was feeling under the weather after diving deep into the ocean to search for some painting. You never really understood the details. What you understood is that Yuu acted rather delirious and needed sleep. Green pulses outside the balcony window, your heart races.

A light blush overtakes your cheeks as you see the firelights flicker outside the front door’s side window. You step outside, the cool porch tingling against your bare feet. He’s there, graceful and poised as ever compared to your bags and tangled hair. A squeak of the boards catch his, his eyes widen with the downturn of his lips, “Oh, Ramshackle other inhabitant,” he looks up towards the room Yuu is resting in, something stirs in your heart at his expression, “It seems as if your Prefect is fast in the realms of dreams.” You nod your head, clutching the blanket closer to you. Head tingling, this is the closest you’ve been to him. Your first conversation and yet monotone comes out, “She is sick and needs sleep. Come another night to talk to her.” He hums, a delicate finger holding his chin in thought. “Ahh…I pray that our nightly chats haven’t disturbed you.” He is about to turn around, to leave, you can see his foot already ready to pivot, “Tell her I will return when she recover- “ “I like you.” Malleus pauses and you can’t believe you were stupid enough to confess to him. You want to deny it, to explain how you fell in love with the way he walks, the charm of his voice through windowpane seals, the way you wish he looked at you like the way he looks at Yuu- “I have read about this before, this type of confession,” he starts, and your stomach drops as he crosses his hands against his chest, “I cannot accept your feelings.” He looks up towards the balcony and it mortifies you.

So, you try to do your best, well the best you can with the insomnia caused by yourself and your big fat mouth.

Rook eats breakfast with you each day- him curating a balanced meal towards a heart-broken soul. He could read you so well.

“Why my petite ombre! All you need to do it become the beautiful sparrow everyone can’t help but want.” Rook says before heading off to class. He tussles the hair on your head, or fixing it? You couldn’t tell.

So, again, you try. A little more active, a little more talkative, a little more confident. If the sun cast shadows, then you were the flower peaking over the edge.

What you didn’t expect was Malleus to Overblot.

It’s scary. Yuu looks like the commander as she barks out orders with the rest of the NRC students fighting. Silver sending off another attack, pain etched on his face. Another attack blasts students away and you see Yuu fly among the rubble. You see another flash of light coming from the dragon’s breath-

You didn’t expect to take a hit for Yuu as well. But she is the sun, and you need the sun to live no matter how far in the shadows you are. She will save him.

You can’t see straight after the battle is over, that half the world is dark…blurry…like it doesn’t exist, like it's disappearing.

“(Y/N)! Oh god.” You hear Yuu from your right as she grips your hand. Everything feels so cold. You hear him shout towards Rook, oh he’s here also? “Why- why is she like this?” You want to talk, and you open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Yuu is crying, she has tears in her eyes, and you wonder why. Rook speaks this time, you’ve never seen him this discomposed, “I- I’ve never seen this before.” “What do you mean!? She- she’s evaporating!” Yuu cries taking off her jacket trying to cover your arm. You don’t understand, as you twist out of Yuu’s jacket, she tries to stop you, “No, don’t move! Not until we figure this out.” But she’s too slow at explaining and with your blurry vision, you see your hand? Or half your hand as it dissipates into the air. “(Y/N)…?” You don’t even have to see to know whose voice that is. Malleus.

He kneels next to you, alongside Yuu and Rook, his bare hands touching against the wisps of what your hand was. He looks frightened. Can you even read expressions right when you can only see half a face?

You want to tell him not to worry, even though you are scared. That you're glad he is alive, that he was your first love, and you wish you could redo that night all over again. Something warm tingles against and suddenly stops. He must have done something wrong because you see pink and black hair- Lillia- tugging on his shoulder, shaking his head.

Love is bittersweet. There are no last goodbyes as you fade away.

You wake up on your bed. Your bed. The AC flowing, the faint hum of your earbuds against plush comforter, the city noise in the background.

You’re back…?

A weight on your palm as you turn against your side. It was there- your phone turned on and open to the home screen of Twisted Wonderland. You click on the screen…Nothing. Again, again, again! And nothing happens. It still just reads the logo.

Your mind is spiraling as you twist on your bed, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror by your nightstand, and everything stops at once. Your hair is shorter- by your chin. It was so long… you haven’t cut it since the day you woke up in Twisted Wonderland…

It wasn’t a dream…. was it? . . . . “This won’t bring her back.” The caldron bellows into an array of green and yellow swirling into one. Books litter the floor as chaos organized the room. He is one of the most powerful magicians in Twisted Wonderland. Something was strange about that last night, the way you seemed so scared, different that how steady you presented yourself. The way your eyes stared at him seconds before you phased out of the existence of this realm. He adds a pinch of hazel dust and the green turns into a dark blue like your eyes. He shakes his head- unnecessary thoughts would be of no use to him. Not until you returned.

#.wwrenwrites #twst x reader #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland #twst x you #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #reader is not Yuu #malleus x y/n

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fxdizz-y · 10 months

Text

PiTY Party

A/N ; i saw this little trope with a loser character and i GOT to write it! english isn't my first language so PLEASE bear with me :( SYNOPSIS; Your father decided to take you to a little social gathering with all his fellow alumni, little did you know that certain someone has their eyes on you.

c/w; IT'S LOWKEY BADLY WRITTEN!! eventual smut, age gap, bondage, sex, breathplay, anal, m!sub to m!dom, throatpie, creampie, praise kinks, degradation, sex against the wall, bending over the sink, mirror sex, 'sir' kinks, kinda gay, brat taming, lowkey daddy issues hitting hard, hatefuck turns into love making, threats, s&m, overstimulation, breeding kink, destruction

"Son, we're here." Your father's voice shook you awaked, as your eyelashes fluttered open. Your neck felt sore from the uncomfortable sleeping position as you sat up on the passenger seat, a light groaned escaped your lips when you felt the kink in your neck.

Your hand reached up to rubbed your eye tiredly, before looking out the window. The large familiar cabin was glowing dimly, lighting up the otherwise dark forest.

You can hear laughters and lights conversation sparks from the inside and a small, bubbling anxiety soon start to set in your stomach. God you hated social events.

Your father decided to hosted a little party, to celebrated his promotions or something like that. However, instead of renting a place, he decided to host it at the family's summer cabin. You at first didn't want to go, but your mother too press you on about it, telling you that it might be a good opportunity to have some connections for the future. And your father were practically sulking when you rejected him once.

Not wanting to upset your father furthermore however, you unwillingly stepped out of the vehicle, the cool night air hit you in the face making you scrunch up your nose a bit.

Your father gave you a firm pat on your back as he lightly chuckled, motioning for you to come inside. You took a deep breath before obliged his wish. When you step inside, the anxiety only worsens when you suddenly was bombared with questions and greetings.

You felt small, absoloutly wanting to crawl into a hole and never surface again. However, just as you were about to excuse yourself, your oh ever so loving father just dive right in and dragged you away from the attention.

That's when he introduced you to one of his older colleagues, the man who seems to be in one of his rather late 30s, his brown locks was messy and unkept, as his eyebags look rather dark and heavy, you could almost feel sorry for him. He also wore a large bandage on the side of his cheek, just right at the corner of his mouth. He seems to be twitching anxiously, as his head and hands kept jerking slightly.

You smiled at him, just a soft, simple smile as your father introduced you both to each other. Apparently, they've known each other since high school, as your father had lightly 'teased' or 'joked' with him in the past. But you weren't dumb, you knew what you father did. You shook your head lightly when he wasn't looking and shoot Toby an apologetic look. And he swore he saw an angel. His breath hitched as he shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to hide his shaking hands.

When your father left you both alone to talk, the tension thickens. Toby doesn't know what to do, he have the same social skills of a rock. He just stand there, fidgeting his hands in the pocket, picking the skins off of his fingernails. But after a few seconds, which felt like an enternity, a soft, angelic voice broke him out of the trance he was in.

It was just a simple, awkward "Hi" from you. It sounded so innocent. So pure.. So, so, so sweet.

He needs to ruin you.

"..Nice weather we're having." You tried to strike some small talk with him, as much as you hate to socialize, you know that you had to. Or risk kissing those opportunity good bye.

You shifted your weight to your other foot, and looked at Toby, straight into his pretty, brown eyes. He just nodded. Fucking nodded. Oh well, you tried. You thought to yourself sarcastically.

But before you could leave, Toby spoke up. "So you're... (F/N)'s son..?" He asked, clearly also hating the socializing as much as you.

You nodded, feeling slightly at ease. "Yea, yes I am sir." You replied, standing up a bit more straight and offered him a friendly smile.

Everything seems to stilled for a brief second. You had no idea what you just awoken in him when you call him 'sir'. He could feel his cock twitched in his pants as he muttered a cursed under his breath, as he cough into his fist, trying to play it off.

But how could he? You're such a pretty little thing. Standing there and look up at him with your big, adorable eyes. Unaware of the danger you've just caused. Such a pretty, precious little thing. It's almost impossible to believed that you're the son of the man Toby absoloutly despise. The thought alone made him laughed bitterly.

And the way you tilted your head when he took too long to answered almost made him lost it right then and there. God you were so... delicated. Your lips, hair... everything about you is driving him to the edge. The way your white suit seems to hug your figured make him want to rip it off you. He couldn't helped but trailed his eyes along your curves, and almost groaned at the thought of biting into your soft fleshed, marking you with his bites and bruises.

He felt his pants grow dangerously tight before he quickly excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving you there, confused.

Toby found himself in the bathroom, panting heavily and he thanked whatever existed that the music was so fucking loud, same with the people chatters.

His dick was throbbing in his pants when he freed it with his hand and groaned a bit, clenching his teeth together. He was average in girth, but was slightly big in lenght. Being around 7 or so inches. The color was adorable, the tip being a cute pink color.

He leaned against the sink and scowled, a bit frustrated that he got hard because of his old bully's son.

... His SON.

He suddenly felt a shifted in his mood as a cocky grinned made it way to his face, a dry laughed errupted from his throat as he leaned back, slowly smeering his tip with the precum. God he felt filthy.

He almost felt sorry for you, you weren't even there when things happened. Yet you got your little dense self in the drama, unknowingly. He almost purred at the thought. He wants to wreck you infront of your father.

His eyes wandered to the hampered before he reach into it, seeing a sweater with your name neatly written on the back of the collar. He bring it to his face and give it a big whiff, his face grows redder by the second as sweats starts to form on his body.

His hand started to move again, stroking his shaft as he moaned into your sweater, muffling it.

He fist his cock into his hand in a quick pace, not even bothering to use his spit as lubricant. He kept thinking about you, and imagine you in all sorted of positions. How would your expressions looks like if he drill his cock deep inside you? What sinful sound would you make? God he needed you.

And as if God heard his prayer, the doorknob rattled a bit before opened. He didn't even heard you coming inside until you gasped, startled and is absoloutly flustered at the sight.

He fucking came in surprised. His load shoot into your sweater as he look at you, slightly embarrassed from getting caught. He dropped your sweater on the sink and reached out to you, he expected you to turn away, but instead a flustered smile crept onto your features.

"I.." Toby began, but it seems like his word got caught in his throat. And to his surprised once again, an angelic chuckled escaped through your teeth, and his dick began to throbbed again. You closed the door behind you and lock it with a clicked.

"W- what are you-" He got cut off by you pressing your lips against him, and it didn't take him long to practically melted into the kiss. His hand that was around his dick let go and he slowly slid his big hands down your thighs. He grabbed your ass and hoisted you up, one of his knees between your legs to keep you steady as your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss.

He gasped sharply into the kiss when your leg jerked up and grind into his crotch, making his knees almost gave out.

You KNEW he was inexperienced, and that thought alone make all the blood rushing straight to your throbbing dick. The thought of being his first was alluring. You slowly grow impatient before you shift around in your place, and successfully have Toby on his knees. He look up at you with a flushed expression and seems to be slightly puzzled at the sudden position changed. It didn't take long for him to caught on however when your hand slowly grip the root of his hair in a firm grip. He quickly fumbled with his hand to unzip your zipper and your cock sprint out. He swallow thickly and look up at you, and you just scoffed at the sight. He looks so fucking pathethic and eager on his knees. His face was red, and sweat was coating his forehead and running down his chin.

You nodded at him with a raised brow, and he quickly got to work. He slowly swirled his tongue around your tip, making your legs feel like jello. He savoured the taste, licking up any precum that was beaded on the slit of your dick. You buckle up your hips imaptiently, but his rough hands held your inner thighs in place. You let out a low moan as he continue to lick and suck on your pulsating dick, before he finally take the whole thing in his mouth. You grunt a bit, the grip on his hair tightens as you tried not to snap your hips upward into his mouth. He was taking all of this painfully slow, and he knows it.

After all the teasing, you couldn't held it in anymore as you shoved his head down on your dick, not giving the slightest fuck when he gagged a bit. The gagging actually sent a vibration down your dick making you moan a bit louder, as you gently facefuck him. Your mouth start to whispered filthy praises and degrading stuff to him.

"G-god- so fucking warm.." You mumbled, loud enough for Toby to hear and his dick twitched. "Y-you're so pathethic" Scowling down at him, you fuck yourself into his mouth a bit rougher. "Getting o-off.. at one of your colleagues p-ah...arty? To his son nonetheless?" Toby's dick throbs with every words falling out of your mouth as you began to rambles while being deep inside his mouth, drilling your hips against his face.

He let out a few groans and whimpers of his own as he work his tongue around your shaft, greedily sucking you up and desperated to pleased you as you start to pick up the pace, brutally snapping your hips up and grinding in his face before you released deep inside his throat, moaning loudly as your legs began to trembled. He drinks every bit of you up, letting you ride through the orgasm.

After you slowly came down from your high, you pull out of him with a wet pop, whining a bit at the lost of the warmth in his mouth.

To your surprised, it didn't take long for Toby to hook his arms under your legs and stand up, making your head and back hit the wall as you let out a gasped. It's as if he did a whole 180 on his attitude.

He have a cocky smirk displayed mischeviously on his lips as press himself closer to you, grinding his pelvis into yours as he drawled out a groan. He can't take it anymore.

One of his free hand reached up and grabbed his tie, tying your hands together tightly, surely to leave a bruise.

His cold, rough hands travel down to your ass and give it a firm squeeze before his right hand travel up to the inner of your thighs and teasing your aching hole with one finger, making you whine as you squirm around a bit, glaring up at him.

He cooed at your expression and leans down, gently nibbling your neck and whispered in your ears. "Y- You're so..so pretty when yo- you're acting tough." He grins before sucking the skin of your neck, leaving a deep, dark purple mark.

You were still squirming against him and it only get him more riled up as you were practically grinding into his hips. He flipped you over so your back was against his chest and you were bending over the sink. He grab your jaw with his right hand to force you to look in the mirror. He wore a cunning grin as he shoves his middle and ring fingers into your mouth while keeping the hand firmly on your jaw. Drools were dripping down your chin as you gagged around his digits, tears starts to formed in the corner of your eyes. The actions only make him grin wider, as he bend down against you, your ass were right up against his cock.

"You see that camera?"

He asked smugly, before turning your head to look at the phone that was set neatly on a flower plant, making your eyes widen and your cheeks flushed with humilation.

"Do you want your daddy to see how much of a Hure his sonne really is, huh.."

He whispered lowly as he began to nibble your ear. You could only feel your dick start to erected again shamefully as you shook your head rapidly, in an almost pleading way.

"Then suck."

He barked orders at you and you began to swirl your tongue around his digit, sucking his fingers.

"Good, good.. little whore."

He grins and lick up your tears and kiss your cheek, before his other hand went up and grab your throat, holding your head in place and his now wet fingers travelled down to your ass, as he push one digit in and start to stretch you out. That delicious heat began to form in the pit of your stomach again as you gasped and whined at the touch, fueling Toby's egos even more.

"Such an adorable sound..."

He whispered, pumping his digit in and out of your wet hole before adding another one, leaning down and keep nibbling and sucking on your skins, leaving dark purple marks scattered around your neck while your shoulders were adorned with his bites.

"I can't wait to ruin you."

He scowled, as his finger went into a scissoring motion, stretching you out and shivers at the warmth, his dick was twitching and throbbing, begging to be inside of you.

The knot in your stomach tightens up as you scrunch up your face, clenching your jaws tightly. However, it earned a tight squeeze to your throat and you yelped, your eyes widened, He chuckled at your expression and tilt your head up to make you gaze at your reflection in the mirror.

"Eyes up, doll.."

He breathly says before he continue to pump his fingers into you, and added the 3rd finger.

You immediatly whines at the digits being brutally pumping in and out of you, your tongue hanging out of your mouth.

He snickered slightly at the sight before pulling his hand out, making you grunt slightly at the loss.

But it was quicly replace by a shocked yelped when you felt the tip of his dick rubbing against your hole as he pistoned himself and, without warning, snapped his hips forward, moaning loudly into your ears as he bottomed you out. Despite prepping you, nothing could have prepare you as his cock stretch you out delicously, and you could swear you felt his cock deep inside your stomach.

"S-so fuc-fuckin-g.. sh-shit- tight, tight, tight-"

He rambled into your shoulders, completely lost himself into you for a split second.

"-'m gonn- gonna mol- mold my dick into you..g-gonna ruin you for e-everyone else.."

He didn't let you adjust before he slam into you at a brutal speed, your lewd moans that would put a pornstar to shame filled and echoed around the bathroom, mixing with the sounds of skin slapping and a few moan and grunts from Toby himself.

"I'm gonna fuckin' breed this schöner b-junge.."

He mumbled to himself and you felt yourself clenching around his lenght, causing him to cursed in german harshly, his grip against your throat tightens. You managed to choke out a small "S-sir-!" but that only make his grip on you tightens more, slamming his pelvis into you and groaning loudly.

"S-scheiße- cal- call me that again-"

He ordered, grinding his dick into your ass and thrust into you harshly, making you cried out.

"S-fuck- Sir- Pl-pleas-"

Tears streams down your cheeks as he pounce into you, not showing any signs of stopping soon.

Black dots started to invade your visions as your air supply was cut off. But just right when you were about to pass out, he relaxed his grip, causing you to gasped sharply, inhaling that sweet, sweet air into your lungs.

"That- that's it, breathe.. Gut so.."

You felt the knot in your stomach tightens again as he burried balls deep into you, rubbing anf reaching all of your sweet spots you didn't even know were possible.

"Oh, m-meine liebe.. you're being- being such a good obedient little slut"

And you were being forced to watch as he fucking you silly was all so fucking lewd.

He let out a shout as he twitched, feeling himself close as his head jerk to the side, before his dick twitch deep inside of you and he came undone. You were quick to follow as you cum onto the cold marbled sink, letting out heavy pants as your half lidded, glossy eyes glance up at the camera.

#creepypasta #ticci toby #tButobias erin rogers #x reader #ticci toby x male reader #male reader #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you #oldermen #tropes #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta smut #smut #mxm #bottom male reader #mxm smut #tobias erin rodgers #toby erin rogers #toby rogers

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inairbinad · 11 months

Note

also would take words about demi Eddie!

SO I was gonna just write out a little paragraph or two...and then I did the whole thing. Or an abridged version, at least. I may expand on this someday but for now, enjoy some demi!Eddie.

Eddie’s always known he’s different. Not just because he’s the town freak, or because his tastes tend to differ from almost everyone else’s, or even that he realizes he thinks boys can be just as pretty as girls, if not prettier. Sure, all of that makes him objectively different from the herd of followers that he he’s surround by in a small town like Hawkins.

It takes him a little longer to realize there’s another kind of different to add to his already overflowing plate, though.

Because sure, he can appreciate the way a cheerleader’s skirt swishes around her thighs, or the way the sweat glistens on the jockiest guys’ arms in gym class. And yeah, when he first sees Nancy Wheeler shooting at something with that fierce gleam in her eye, it’s objectively attractive… in a terrifying sort of way.

But Eddie’s very rarely ever wanted to do anything about it. Not until he gets to know someone first, at least. He needs that first spark to burrow deep, for feelings to take root and claw away at him until he can’t not have someone. Except every time Eddie gets to know a crush in any real way, it becomes abundantly clear that his feelings are unrequited, or it takes long enough to realize all he really feels is a platonic sort of love now, anyway.

Flirting is still fun, Eddie thinks. Getting to know new people, to make them blush or flutter their lashes while he learned about their little quirks and dreams and what made them tick? That lit him up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. But so rarely does any of it ever turn into anything deep enough to warrant desire. So few had ever ignited that something more in him—that undeniable gut feeling of want and need and oh god why aren’t we kissing right now?

The few times Eddie actually has managed to feel that way, to develop a deep enough connection to dig into his marrow and let the love and attraction and desire break free? Well, those haven’t turned out so well for him, historically.

He wants so badly to want. For someone to want him just as much. He wants sex to not be going through the motions, getting it over with just so he could say he had, to not feel weird or vaguely wrong every time he tries.

Eddie needs to not want to run.

Instead it’s always that initial rush of this person is so cool, and oh they’re also pretty, then maybe if I get to know them, they’ll finally be someone I can be with, be the person I want to rip my clothes off for.

And they never have been.

Until Steve.

Steve awakens something in Eddie that he genuinely didn’t think existed, a ferocious kind of hunger that is almost always awake and demanding. He needs to touch Steve, needs Steve to touch him and make him feel like the world is spinning off its axis with every heated glance.

He needs to kiss Steve, to slide their tongues together and roam his hands all over Steve’s chest and give Steve every kind of pleasure he’d ever dreamed of and then some.

Steve comes around and all of a sudden Eddie is consumed by fire.

The moans he pulls out of Steve with his mouth don’t just turn Eddie on, they twist his soul. Contort his heart in ways he knows can’t be healthy or normal, but when has Eddie ever wanted to be normal anyway? He’d rather sink deep into this feeling, so raw and intoxicating and utterly new for him that he doesn’t know how to deal with it besides to dive in headfirst. Because Eddie’s been in love before, but no one has ever loved him back. But Steve does, by some strange twist of fate.

And Steve’s love…it’s something so much more than he ever bargained for. It’s a soft sweater in the middle of a crisp fall afternoon, that first taste of your favorite home cooked meal after going without for a while. The way Steve loves is all-encompassing, wild and loyal and unwavering.

Eddie can’t get enough. He’s probably getting ahead of himself, probably letting those feelings he always imagined latch on to his senses and and run away with them, threatening never to let go. But he never wants to let go of Steve, anyway, so where’s the harm, really?

So maybe Eddie’s a little bit weird for how he loves, how he wants—but Steve takes the weird and cradles it, nourishes it and cherishes it as though he wouldn’t want Eddie any other way.

And he proves it every single day.

They're sprawled out in Eddie's bed one afternoon, all lazy strokes and soft kisses and passing the time just being together. Then Steve chuckles a little to himself before asking outright.

“Who are those for?” Steve asks, sly and knowing smile on his face as he nods towards the wall.

The handcuffs. Eddie can't even be bothered to blush, because he knows why Steve is asking.

The cuffs have hung there for ages, because Eddie has been prepared and waiting for this. He’s known he’s a freak for years, knows all the kinks that come with living in his funny little brain. He’s just been dreaming of the right person wandering into his life, for the stars to align enough for them to want to use them.

So without a trace of doubt in his voice, Eddie smiles back and says, “You, baby.”

#demisexual eddie munson #steddie #dani's drafts #read 💜#this isn't projecting on the blorbo /at all/ by the way #*side eye*

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hovershiplogos · 3 months

Text

Guess who's doing rewatches again? It's me, and well, not entirely a rewatch:

Yes, that's right, it's Enter the Matrix. Because it's criminal that for a blog named for the little ship that could, I've haven't actually done a deep dive on the game itself! So I'm going to fix that!

I'm also going to play through as both Niobe and Ghost, as depending on who you're playing, the missions play out slightly different, and the cutscene dialogue varies as well. Also, not going to do like a blow by blow kinda thing. Only going to comment on things that caught my interest, or seem rather amusing to me. If you want a little more context, I suggest checking out the couple of playthroughs/cut scene compilations on youtube.

Also of note, the game picks up right after the Animatrix short Final Flight of the Osiris.

Anyway, let's get to it!

AND IT'S THE MAIN REASON I'M STILL HERE, BECAUSE OF THIS PESSIMISTIC SNARKY COWARD RIGHT HERE. And he's self aware about it as well.

Also interesting to note is that according to this cutscene, Sparks has been operating on board the Logos for 3 years. Now, a standard US navy tour of duty (and I'm going with Navy rather than Army as Zion's army is referred to as a Navy fleet) is between 2-3 years. Not really going anywhere with this, but it's interesting to note.

Niobe is a 'my way or the highway' kinda person. No wonder it didn't work between her and Morpheus. It's also telling that Ghost has known Niobe for long enough to know that this is what she's like. I wonder if Ghost is the glue in this ship dynamic? As in, he knew Niobe and Sparks separately before they knew each other, if that makes sense?

And it's the little hovership that could, the little lightning bug of the fleet! Those red lights on the ship look like they're the same as the ones on the sentinels. I wonder if a bulb blows or something they scavenge one from a deactivated squiddie as a replacement?

It's not particularly clear, but I never realised that Niobe's hair is tied with what looks like string with gold in it? Maybe a metal band with gold on it? I'm not sure, but it's pretty!

Also, I appreciate that they give a reason why Niobe is going after this drop, rather than waiting for someone else (ie: Neo) to go get it.

Also, saying are you red or blue on this is a very cool in universe way of saying are you with me or not?

The subtitles are missing here, but what he says:

"You know me Niobe. It's not a choice, it's a way of life."

Ghost, you're awesome, you know that, right?

I get Sparks' complaint here, there are only two of them, and it would be a lot safer to wait for back up to help them out. But nope, you know what Niobe's like, get it done.

Also, as I remarked earlier, the fact that Niobe is willing to risk going in without support , especially given what she says about Thaddeus not using the drops unless he had no choice? And now they're all dead? They definitely need to get that package before the agents do.

I personally love Niobe's little eye roll here.

I also love that Ghost is more chill and amused by Sparks than exasperated like Niobe is. Yeah, Ghost is the glue holding the team together.

Also, a little mention of Zion funerary practices. As someone pointed out to me years ago, I suspect that the gardens is similar to the Exodus fleet's method of burial, but who knows?

Yup, words to live by!

Once again, Niobe is rolling her eyes behind the sunnies. This is what she has to put up with. Also, I would love to think that one time Sparks pranked Ghost by running some program that sent his guns soaring upward.

I always used to think that Ghost was the serious, no nonsense one in the crew, but I'm beginning to think I'm wrong on that front.

Sparks, why do you want his boots? They're too small for your big feet!

Niobe has great taste in old muscle cars. Good old 1967 Pontiac Firebird, in eggplant purple instead of black. Very stylish!

That's all for now, next up will be the post office. See you then!

#enter the matrix #liveblogging the matrix #niobe #ghost #sparks

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holocene-sims · 10 days

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oc deep dive

thank you @stargazer-sims for tagging me!! naturally, because i am predictable, i'll answer these questions for grant 🙈

not sure who has done this tag because it went around mostly when i was on hiatus, but i'll tag: @windermeresimblr @nectar-cellar @papermint-airplane @queeniecook @sparkiekong + anyone who wants to do it 💌

what uncommon/common fear do they have?

common: he's a major germaphobeeeeeee

hello, mr. showers-multiple-times-a-day! 🧼

btw i always headcanon grant as wearing masks frequently in public and always in very crowded places like airplanes. you just don't see that in-game because all the mask cc i have installed conflicts with his glasses and/or eyelashes 😔

uncommon: idk if he's afraid of anything uncommon. the main ones for him are germs + being yelled at or physically pushed around, which are common. i guess you could say noses kind of freak him out; the whole cartilage/bone/close-to-the-brain combo is a very unpleasant thought for him lolz

do they have any pet peeves?

you know how most people hate it when a two-person party at a cafe/restaurant sit on the same side of the bench? grant actually hates it when the other person sits opposite of him; he finds it a little bit awkward and lonely. he'd much rather have the friend or partner sit next to him, provided they're cool with it and a side-by-side seating arrangement is possible! ❤️

what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

his cat, probably

hand sanitizer (citrus scent)

pikachu plush acquired during the korea arc with henry

what do they notice first in a person?

physically: hair 💇 simply because hair is the first thing his eyes can see when looking at someone...unless they're the same height as him, at which point he can finally look someone in the eyes lmao

personality-wise: if they're nice to servers or other customer service workers and tip well

on a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

at this point, it's a 10. his body is a little (a lot) banged up from old injuries and being chronically ill. when he was super young, his pain tolerance was not that great, like stubbing a toe was a serious hour-ruining problem, but he's had to get used to feeling much worse, so his "i feel great, let's go run a marathon!!" days now are probably an average person's 6 on the pain scale but a 2 or so for him. it's not that things hurt *less*, it's more that the conditions that would get him to notice his pain, pay more attention to it, or rate the pain level at a 6 or well above that are far more extreme.

do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

it depends what kind of pressure. if it's some kind of social pressure, aka being in an argument with someone or having upset someone, it triggers major fight or flight response, and usually, he's a flight kind of person. it's changed, though, over the course of the story. i think he's more willing to fight or at least just feel the fight/flight response while responding with a cool head.

if it's a non-social pressure like a situation at work, even if people are involved in the situation he needs to deal with, grant responds very differently. he doesn't get the fight or flight response here, he's always pretty level-headed and logical about non-social situations.

do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

his family is too big, but he adores them all (sans his parents and one of his sisters). grant is 1000000% a family person!

what animal represents them best?

personally, i think he could be a panda. large, cuddly, and endearing

what is a smell that they dislike?

ultimate irony: he hates the smell of cigarettes ☠️

and he finds it funny. he's unfortunately been addicted to smoking forever, but he's so irritated by the smell and also scared of bothering anyone with it that he takes extreme measures to avoid not absorbing cigarette scent lmao

have they broken any bones?

oh dear. yes, he has. lol. the whole "i accidentally knocked out/broke some of my teeth playing hockey thing" was real 😭😭

the teeth were probably the most obvious/annoying bones to break, but he did also break the pinky finger on his left hand, aka his dominant hand, at church when he was like six. he was fucking around in the church basement with his cousins and friends after some church event, and when they were leaving to go back upstairs, he shut the giant wooden door too quickly, which jammed his finger hard enough to break it 💀

how would a stranger likely describe them?

physically: giant, should have played basketball

personality-wise: charming

are they a night owl or a morning bird?

i think he's somewhere in between! he's happy to stay up late and get up early. although, even if he does stay up late, he still will always get up early. he's used to that from work and also from chronic pain bothering him in his sleep.

what is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

love: coconut, chocolate, citrus, coffee

hate: strawberry, vanilla, tea

do they have any hobbies?

cooking, baking, playing video games, dungeons & dragons/TTRPGs, painting, stargazing/reading about astronomy, watching airplanes irl or in videos, watching youtube, watching cat videos on instagram reels, hiking when he feels up to it, working out, traveling, reading (he's trying to fully get back into it), etc.

boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises?

honestly, grant is one of those people who does muchhhh better with surprise birthday parties than planned parties. if you give him zero time to think about receiving love, gifts, and affection, he can't do the whole "woe is me, i don't deserve it, you're too nice" shtick

do they like to wear jewelry?

at this point, he doesn't really own any. he used to have piercings (the only ones remaining are the 🍒💍, and he did have a claddagh ring, which was a gift from his great uncle, but the piercings were lost to career dress codes, and the ring disappeared with all his other stuff that his mother threw out years ago.

so, he's not anti-jewelry, like he'd totally wear rings at least, and he regrets that his one very nice ring was lost :( i think he'd also wear a necklace if someone gave him one, but grant himself would not naturally consider himself a necklace guy, so he wouldn't go out of his way to purchase one of his own volition.

(author's note: he deserves a nice necklace)

he does wear a leather watch all the time, though, but i'm not sure if that should be categorized as jewelry or just an accessory!

do they have neat or messy handwriting?

he has very neat handwriting!

what are two emotions they feel the most?

probablyyyyyy contentment (i know that may seem ironic given the story, but i think he's generally chill *now*, and my image of him is always a little bit colored by the yet unpublished end of everything the stars promised, which will get posted some day when the plot gets to that point) and shame

do they have a favorite fabric?

he may not own anything in this fabric but minky dot!! grant has visited fabric & craft stores many times with grandma aoifeeeeee, and when he and his cousins were younger, they loved to run around the stores feeling up all the fabric. he's always fond of minky dot because (1) it's soft, and (2) the dots are fun to poke at.

what kind of accent do they have?

i feel like i've answered this so many times, but grant, in my mind, has a unique accent!! he grew up in small town upper peninsula michigan, so he's had plenty of time to absorb the yooper/midwestern accent, but he was also raised by a family full of immigrants and spent most of his childhood hanging out around his grandparents specifically and traveling overseas to visit family, so at the same time, his accent turned irish-y early on. he's not the only one that combo accent happened to, but he probably has the strongest case out it outside of his aunt and uncle.

basically, with 100% certainty, i deem that grant has never and will never be able to pronounce the th sound with the h in it or vowels without them being nasally.

it's hard to put what i think he sounds like on paper, but it's some mix of these people: (1) (2) (3)

#tag games #hlcn: oc info #hlcn: story extras #hlcn: grant #i might do another one of these #probably for henry because he deserves some more attention on this blog

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honeyjars-sims · 1 month

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OC Deep Dive Questionnaire

Thanks for tagging me @lynzishell!

Since you did 2 characters I will as well. I wanted to do Johnny of course but he is sadly single 🥺 So I picked Paul for the 2nd character.

Johnny Ayers

-what common/uncommon fear do they have?

I don't really have a fear of heights exactly but I do get a little nervous. Oh, and there's this one doll my sister used to have that haunts my dreams. It had soulless eyes.

-do they have any pet peeves?

I hate it when people talk to their kids like they're too stupid to understand things or explaining something to them isn't worth their time.

-what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

There's a lot of junk in there but my 3 favorites are my notebooks (for journaling and drawing), my gaming computer, and my stuffed cat Jinkies.

-what do they notice first in a person?

How serious they are. If I can't get a laugh pretty easily, we're probably not gonna get along.

-on a scale of 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

I'd say it's around an 8. I just got my first tattoo and I barely flinched. I can't wait to get more!

-do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Flight for sure. When things get too tough, I try to remove myself from the situation as quick as possible.

-do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

That's a loaded question! My parents split before I was born. I have 4 sisters that I'm pretty close to. I don't talk to my mom but I get along with my father and his husband, who is more of a parent to me than my mom ever has been. He's not my stepdad, he's just my dad. So I guess I'm a family person to the ones who treat me with respect.

-what animal represents them best?

Maybe a dog because they like getting attention and affection. Probably some sort of lap dog!

-what is a smell that they dislike?

I hate strong colognes and perfumes especially if the scent seems artificial.

-have they broken any bones? if so, how?

I've had a few small fractures that healed on their own. I don't really want to talk about it, though.

-how would a stranger likely describe them?

They'd probably say I'm talkative and joke around a lot. People sometimes think I don't take things seriously when they first meet me.

-are they a night owl or a morning bird?

I'm a night owl thanks to insomnia. I don't like being up too late, though, because I get lonely when everyone else goes to bed.

-what is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

I hate cauliflower, it tastes like mush! My favorite food is mac and cheese. I like anything cheesy, really.

-do they have any hobbies?

I love video games so that's a big one. I write a lot. I started keeping a journal when I started therapy but I also like to write down random thoughts that I find amusing. I haven't really done anything with them but maybe they'll be useful one day.

-boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises?

It depends on who's there. If it's people I'm close to then I'm totally down for being the center of attention but there are some people I'd rather not see unexpectedly.

-do they like to wear jewelry? if so, what is their favorite piece?

I wear jewelry but nothing fancy. Just some piercings, necklaces, and bracelets that I think look cool. I like finding handmade stuff. I have a few ear piercings and I got my septum pierced recently.

-do they have neat or messy handwriting?

It depends. If I'm doing something artsy I can experiment with my handwriting in cool ways but taking notes? Good luck reading that later!

-what are two emotions they feel the most?

Just two? Damn. I'd say longing and regret. Wow, that sounds kind of depressing!

-do they have a favorite fabric?

I like things with interesting textures as long as it's not too scratchy.

-what kind of accent do they have?

I think it's kind of neutral but I'm good at mimicking accents and voices. Sometimes I do it without even realizing it if I spend a lot of time with someone.

Paul DiMarco

-what common/uncommon fear do they have?

I don't really have many fears, but sometimes when I'm reading about weird diseases I start thinking about what would happen if I or one of my loved ones got it.

-do they have any pet peeves?

It really bugs me when people don't return their shopping carts. It's not that hard to walk a few feet and put it away!

-what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Plants because I like to garden, nonfiction books because I like to learn new things, and hiking boots because I like to be active outdoors.

-what do they notice first in a person?

I notice people's smiles first. I'm generally a happy person and I like to see others happy, too.

-on a scale of 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Maybe a 6 or 7? I'm good at pushing past discomfort when I'm doing something strenuous like climbing, but I don't tolerate sudden injuries quite as well.

-do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Usually fight. I go into action mode when a crises hits and start thinking about how I'll tackle the problem.

-do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Definitely! I have 4 siblings, 3 niblings, and we all get along great. Family is very important to me!

-what animal represents them best?

I'll go for a labrador because they're good companions and they like to explore.

-what is a smell that they dislike?

I hate the smell of gasoline.

-have they broken any bones? if so, how?

Surprisingly I haven't, though I'm pretty active. I've come close a couple of times, though!

-how would a stranger likely describe them?

Most people would say I'm friendly and curious.

-are they a night owl or a morning bird?

I'm a morning bird. I like to have a little time to myself before the rest of the world wakes up to prepare for my day. I do enjoy sleeping in on those lazy days when I don't have anywhere to be, though.

-what is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

I'm not picky, but I don't like flavors that are too bland. As for favorites, I don't think I could pick just one! I like trying new cuisines and experimenting with flavor combinations. If I had to pick, I'd go with my mom's homemade tomato sauce. Nothing else compares.

-do they have any hobbies?

I like to garden, though I don't have much space in my apartment. I'd love to have a big garden someday and have lots of fresh fruits and veggies to cook with. I'm pretty active and I love the outdoors. Hiking, rock climbing...anything that gets me moving and allows me to explore.

-boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises?

I would appreciate the gesture, but hopefully I would be in the mood to party!

-do they like to wear jewelry? if so, what is their favorite piece?

I don't really wear jewelry. I've seen some beautiful pieces, but it's not very practical for my lifestyle.

-do they have neat or messy handwriting?

As a future doctor, I've been practicing my indecipherable handwriting for years!

-what are two emotions they feel the most?

That's a good question because sometimes I tend to suppress my emotions.

-do they have a favorite fabric?

I like silk and anything that feels nice on my skin.

-what kind of accent do they have?

I'm from Tartosa, so I have the local accent. Although people in Tartosa say I'm losing it a bit.

I'll tag @weirdosalike, @morningglory-sims, @beachyserasims, @zosa95, and @kelsey-sims if you'd like to play along!

#tag game #oc: paul dimarco #sh:johnny #sh:outtakes

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esta-elavaris · 2 months

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hi :D (uhm I’ve always been so awkward?? For no reason?? To send asks but mainly because you write very well and you seem very cool but anyways i finally got the courage to put in this ask… non anon…)

I really, really reaaaally love Red Thread of Fate so far!! The way you manage to capture and build upon Grove’s character is just fantastic, and it’s just so in character it’s actually insane really wish I could write like that lol. Moving on. Mac is such an epic badass OC when she was introduced in the fic I remember reading it and being all ‘hell yeah’ because I guess it just seems so in character for Groves to have a relationship (eventually) with someone like that?? So yeah :D You’re doing god’s work by making a Groves/OC fic because my guy does NOT get enough recognition for being such a silly interesting character. Glad he’s finally getting some love!! (Also because he’s my like fav character in potc along with Norrington so yeah I love my Navy guys XD) looking forward to the fic as it comes yippee :DDDD

(I say, entirely uncoolly ✨)

First off I absolutely also feel that same awkwardness when it comes to sending people asks, it's all good, I get it, you're golden 💜 and thank you!! That's so lovely to hear, I'm so glad you enjoy my writing! 🥹

I'm also thrilled Mac is going down well (or, uh, not at all in Groves' case) -- I always get nervous about introducing new OCs and she's a little bit spikier than past ones, but I did do a fair bit of glossing over the whole Anglo-Irish relation thing with Theorrington, other than how Theo was treated because of it (mainly because her and The Noz would never agree on it) so I don't want to repeat that with Mac. So she gets to be our resident angry Scot, I love her. Plus being Scottish means I'm more comfortable tackling that topic through her lens, rather than an Irish one.

That tangent aside, god it's gonna be so fun to deep dive into Groves from a romance standpoint. I think they also kind of flip the script that Theorrington goes by, too, since in their dynamic James is the straight man to Theodora's humour, whereas so far Groves has shown to be a bit more lighthearted than Mac, which will be a very fun dynamic to puzzle out.

But YEAH honestly the second the thought of "the OC should be a pirate" hit my brain I was like

It just had to be done, he'd give big this energy:

He'd know he should disapprove, he would disapprove on some level, but he'd also have to grapple with just finding her painfully attractive while she does crimes. With the added boon of like, she's much more of a Jack than she is a Barbossa, so she's not a monster. Just a ✨criminal✨ - plus with all of the potential for worry, later on down the line, it's just beautiful. So many possibilities.

#asks #groves/mac #RTOF

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theamityelf · 4 days

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i also got a pj ask but I had to base mine off the wiki pages because i never read it as a kid and I would like to know thoughts on my final take from wiki deep diving of absolute little bastard Hebe kid Kokichi

That's a cool one! I definitely like the "eternal youth" vibe for him a lot, and I think the cupbearer aspect could be cool in a lot of ways, too. Maybe any food or drink he gives someone automatically has magical properties. (Picturing him imbuing revitalizing properties in a can of cashews or something and, rather than just giving them to his quest-mates, demanding that they catch the cashews in their mouth.) There's definitely room for a lot of intrigue in those two points alone. He might come across to people in a sort of Peter Pan, children-can-be-casually-cruel way, or seem uncanny, tireless, and off, no matter what he does. I like that a lot.

He's a son of Dionysus in mine, because as you can see, as soon as I think of a godly parent for one of the characters, my mind goes to how that would manifest as far as their unique skills and powers. Nothing quite so OP as the actual god would have– for example, if I recall correctly, there's a moment in the first book where Percy makes eye contact with Dionysus and realizes on a kind of visceral level that this guy could drive him insane, and I don't think Kokichi would have quite that energy. But demigods are feared for a reason. They have powers comparable to gods without all the oaths and rules. I think having the abilities of Dionysus would be another great way for Kokichi to just kind of make people uncomfortable. I like the idea of him just hanging out with someone, telling jokes, and the other person is internally like, I think this kid could pull my mind apart if he wanted to... Whether or not it's true.

#danganronpa #danganronpa pjo au #kokichi ouma

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teddybeartoji · 5 months

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hey mickey!! bringing u some flowers in these trying winter times 🌻💐🌷🌹🌸 i hope ur doing super duper well!!!

i also wanted to ask if u have any recs for like. movie review channels? :’3 or maybe more like movie deep-dives/analyses? i watch prettymuchit a bunch but their videos r more reactions than reviews (IF U DONT ALREADY WATCH THEM I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THEM THOOO they r soso funny)… if u have any at all i’d love to hear them!! i figure thats a pretty good starting point for my filmbro arc pshdjhd

sending u all the love n hugs <33 i WILL get to ur movie and soundtrack recs btw im mentally getting into the cinema headspace 💯💯

my sweet sweet angel ari!! thank you for the flowers<33333

beware! beware! ask mickey about movies and they'll go insane!!!! this ALSO this got very long but we are past apologizing (i'm squinting my eyes at u bc u need to remember that) HERE WE GOOOOO

i will apologize for not having a movie review recommendation for you though:(((((((((((( i literally get all that i need from my letterboxd mutuals (i trust them with my life) i have found the people who have the same taste as me and i know that when the majority of them like a movie - i will like it. a "real film critic" could say that it's shit but when the people of letterboxd say it's five stars i fucking know it's five stars ok

i haven't been on a movie review channel/person search in a while but last i was i realized that so many of them are rather technical and that's boring..... so i really do trust letterboxd more. of course, there are a lot of just one-liners (i literally do that too) but there are people who write long and deep reviews and those feel so much more personal and give more insights than the ones i've seen floating around the internet.

FOR MOVIE ANALYSIS my favourite channel is lessons from the screenplay!!!!!! i've been watching his videos for ever ever and ever and i love them so much!!1! he has taught me so much, especially when i was just getting more into films!!! so i went to my little playlist of videos and i picked up some about my all time favourite films!!

inglourious basterds - the elements of suspense; my god, do i love this movie....... this is a yearly watch for me, i've memorized the lines and all. the performances are great, the soundtrack is amazing, it's so fucking funny??? and i'm now also realizing how much of a filmbro i'm actually coming off as but do i care? not at all. i love this movie.

annihilation - the art of self-destruction; okay i mentioned this already but i'm doing it again!!!!!!! it's such a fucking experience i really actually hope you'll watch it one day (and that you'll tell me your thoughts) this is also like a life-changer of a movie in my opinion, i often just randomly start thinking about it; the visuals, the insanity of it aaaaahhhh.

nightcrawler - empathy for the antihero; overall this movie is sooo engrossing?? like mesmerizing but not necessarily in a good way lmao.

now i'll link some various ones (but still about my favourite movies/directors so u can get to know me better hehehhe) some of these do have spoilers but vid will give a warning if u don't wanna see that!!

how david fincher hijacks your eyes

when the director reallyyyy respects the audience…

hereditary | what the script teaches us

pirates of the carribean | accidentally genius

movie stunt coordinator breaks down 'atomic blonde' fight scene; i love this movie bc how she uses the things around her to fight, makes it so much more interesting that just fist fist knife knife

searching for disco elysium

what games are like for someone who doesn't play games; this one was a bit of a life changer for me, it seems like such a small little thing to talk about but it's so important it made me look at things and games so much more differently it's so cool he has two more on the same topic i think too!

i really tried to not go overboard but i just............. can't help it so here are a few more recs...........................

blade runner 2049 (2017) - a film about a replicant/an android detective who finds out that another replicant had a child many years ago (replicants cannot have children) and he's now convinced that he is said child this is sci-fi with some action and blood but it's not scary plus points for the insane visuals and the soundtrack 9/10 minus point for it being kind of slow paced?

the nice guys (2016) - a film about two private detectives; one of them is almost cool and the other one is so pathetic i love him so much this is a comedy so 10/10

the man from uncle (2015) - a film about spies spying on each other, it's so fun (the soundtrack is good but we knew that already didn't we smh) 9/10 minus point for armie hammer the cannibal

#almost all of the vids are like five or more years old.......#they're still good though #i hope you like them!!!!#but as always! no rush! no pressure!!!#this was such a fun little ask that i didn't even have a good answer for bro i'm such a bad teacher smh #kisses to your forehead lovey i hope you're having the best day/night!!!!!!!!!!!#average ari/mickey convo i hope everybody is listening #this is important #hehehehe #ari <3 #friends!!

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jasmancer · 6 months

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just finished Quinton's latest video (had a day in so I just kind of wandered around doing chores with a headphone in) and he mentioned that Jeanette's book had not come out at the start of the series. which is crazy bc I didn't start watching them until after I read her book bc I was so intimidated by the runtimes at first. so I went into them with more context than he did at least when it comes to her personal experience

but it's also made me realize how aware I've been of all the unsavory rumors and implications around um. The Creator and his shows. since like high school? like I remember specifically reading rumors and Twitter threads abt abusive and predatory behavior from him AND I remember knowing Jeanette was like. among the girls from his shows that he kinda fixated on in particular.

like this is weird but I had the vine app my freshman/sophomore year and was like really attached to it and into some smaller niche creators on there but I remember when this stuff started surfacing that people looked to Jeanette's vines(?) because a lot of them were kind of. disturbing. and cryptic. like she was clearly unwell and trying to communicate something but couldn't quite get there for whatever reason.

but like I never sought it out it was always adjacent to me. stuff I passively knew. I knew about her podcast and some of the stuff she discussed but I never listened myself. I always knew her by name rather than character just by pure coincidence. idk it was a weird sort of context to have going into a series like that especially since Quinton explicitly stated that he withheld a lot of comments he had abt That from the beginning until he got to discussing Jeanette's book and experiences. i think it was a good move but every time he would kinda be forced to acknowledge the more outlandishly inappropriate things in these shows and comment as little as possible I, as someone who went in with a surplus of context, would be like. Say It. Say It Quinton.

anyway I eagerly await the d*n schn*eder deep dive but I hope he takes it easy bc I know it's gonna be a harrowing end to an already harrowing personal project that he's put three years into. I think he'll be thoughtful and thorough and I want to hear what he has to say but I hope it doesn't come at the cost of his mental health and wellbeing. good video. cool to find out that Gomer is bi and involved with Cat's evil brother.

#it speaks

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lune-de-miel-au-paradis · 8 months

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Pale as the moon, eyes full of stars and a broken heart

Summary: Meet my OC Nina Cerasus. In this chapter you can dive into her soul and feelings before her and Maul's story begins.

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of dealing with illness, anxiety, panic attack, trust issues, daddy issues, mourning, sadness. Long chapter with emotions.

next chapter

When life got too overwhelming she always lifted her pale green eyes up to the sky. The stars spread like freckles across the face of the dark sky. It always amazed her, especially on those occasions, when the air felt too dense and her lungs stubbornly refused to let air in or out, reassuring her that everything would be fine. The millions of shining lanterns up there helped her to lose herself for a while. She always thought about how small she was compared to them.

In these still moments of the night, the quietness and the cool air full of the scent of the blooming milla flowers and the sweetness of dreams let her find her own little peace.

Her inner demons rested and she felt free.

She had never exactly been able to express or articulate this feeling until she read somewhere that this was called astrophile. How poetic "the love for the celestial body".The kind of soothing comfort when someone is reading wrapped in a blanket on a rainy day or when a nervous person smokes a spicy cigarette.

But today it somehow wasn't enough. She was standing outside on top of the building that she would later call her home for a few years. Wearing a thin jacket with her pale arms around her. She had a defiant expression on her face, reflecting the sky in her teary eyes, as if they were a deep green lake. There were signs she should have known, or at least noticed. The paleness of her skin, the cold fingertips with which she always teased her grandmother. On warmer days, she put them on the old woman's shoulders, which made her jump. Sometimes she ran out of air maybe a little sooner than the others. But the most noticeable are those tiny, stabbing heart contractions, which he only herself called heart murmurs. She used to think that her body was just overreacting to certain situations when she was anxious or stressed. This was partially true, she wasn't so wrong after all.

After hearing the news, her feet brought her here, to this building, or rather to its roof. The view was wonderful. She had a perfect view of the huge park between the art and science universities and which connects them at the same time. If she turned to the right, she saw the crystal-domed building of the royal observatory, next to which stretched the royal library of Naboo. As if the dome is the head and the library full of knowledge is the strong neck that supports it. With greater knowledge, more artistic knowledge, the head rises higher and dares to dream bigger and more beautiful. The location was perfect. Compared to downtown, there was much less light pollution here, leaving the role of the sky to shine natural moonlight and starlight onto the park and buildings.

She wanted to feel lighter, but her thoughts darkened and she felt that despite the clear weather, the storm was approaching. An internal, all-changing and overwhelming storm.

She was seven years old when the first thunderstorm swept through her. In the morning, when she got up, the sky was still blue, but in the afternoon the clouds turned gray and condensed, in the evening the stormy wind rose and the gray clouds formed into storm clouds. It took her only months to see these dark times as a storm. Because she believed that if she lasted long enough, they would go away. She was still young, she did not experience many of these spiritual storms, but she still had more experience than her contemporaries.

The first happened unexpectedly at a very young age. It was soon followed by another, and another. It was the most powerful and the last one so far. The dark strong winds of each storm battered and crushed her soul. Only fragments of the foundations remained from the life of her; and after these had to be rebuilt. Brick by brick, it had to be a stronger, thicker wall to withstand the next one. Every time, a small piece of her soul got between the bricks. It wasn't completely a part of her anymore.

She suppressed and buried it, so if she wanted to relive emotions or memories, she had to tear them back from those walls.

She sighed and smiled bitterly. It seems that she managed to build these walls too thick. The Universe or the Force whatever you call it clearly has a sense of humor.

These walls extended beyond her soul straight into her heart muscles. Doctors say her heart is still pumping blood and oxygen. The heart valves close and open as they should, only everything is a little slower and a little more difficult due to the thickened muscular heart wall. Everything flows, but there is less inward, less air, less light, and the storm cloud penetrates even among the few.

The walls in heart are too thick.

It doesn't let the light in.

It keeps the storm inside.

Impenetrable.

So far she has received three gifts from her father. The first gift was life, half of which she owed to the man. The second is a kind of daddy issue mixed with fear of abandonment. And the third is a genetic mutation that medical science calls hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. (abbreviated HCM). He hid this gift from her even before she was born, only to discover it later on her own, completely unexpectedly. A twisted surprise that she never asked for, never looked for, and now that she has found it, she doesn't really know what to do with it.

She felt a mix of things, soft and hard. Things were compacting and expanding inside her. She took out her datapad from her bag. Opened the latest file on it. There were all medical findings, lab results, x-rays, CT scans and biopsies. She didn't even know what these words meant before, since she was just a ten year old, she guessed that they sounded serious and that they didn't mean anything good. If things have to be examined so many times and from many points of view, especially if it happens in a short time, it never means good.

When she heard those three letters, she thought it was some kind of venereal disease. Something she got at Floran's slumber party during the spin the bottle game. She listened silently with an unflappable face as all the serious words of the doctor died away next to the sharp whistling sound she heard in her right ear.

She heard the words, but they didn't reach her brain, they didn't make sense. She was able to pick out a few louder words from them, "new tests" "very rare" "paternal inheritance" "important" "we'll see if we can help". She got up slowly when she got out of the building (leaving her grandmother with the doctor) and tried to lean on her knees. She tried to breathe deeply, but she just felt nauseous. The ringing in her ears got louder and louder, she started to run. It didn't matter where, just away from there. She didn't want to go to her favorite secret place because she only went there when good things happened to her.

She was standing on the roof before she realized it. The ringing signaled the approach of a storm, but it had never been so loud and sharp.

Everything is different this time. The storm will be more overwhelming than ever. This time it won't be enough to strengthen the walls or build more, thicker ones. Now she has to do a fucking rebuild, she has to redesign and build a completely new environment. This is new terrain. Terra incognita. There is no system or destination here. Maybe she didn't factor this into her life, it doesn't fit into her previous life, or anywhere else. It's fucking unfair and not perfect, but now she has to create something new with it. She felt a static energy of tension around her. She knows that her instinctive flight was cowardly, an unconscious scramble to avoid and delay the inevitable. She felt that she had disappointed both herself and grandma by her behavior. But she was also a little confused by the doctor, because there was no emotion or pity in his voice. He didn't even scold her like a dentist does for eating too many sweets. The lack of judgment was existential and shocking, making her dizzy. The storm is approaching, but there is no sign of it hitting yet. The ringing subsides a little, now her thoughts are louder. She makes a plan on how to proceed.

First of all, as soon as her mental storm subsides, she gets up to find grandma, apologizing for running away. Then the discussion with the doctor and the examinations can begin. Which cost money. She knows that although they are not poor and live comfortably, they will need more credit. The doctor said it was a rare disease. So rare, it affects only one in every five hundred people.

It's going to be expensive. In a few years, she will have to continue her studies at highschool and university. She has to choose a path that will allow her to pay back everything to grandma later. IF she's still alive. No! She shouldn't be thinking like that! She comes to a decision. She will fight. The wind gets stronger, cold raindrops start to soak her soul. The sky is clear and full of tiny specks of light, she focuses on them, then she closes her eyes. She knows that when the storm rages, she will open her eyes, although the starry sky remains unchanged. She herself will be completely renewed. The walls are built under perves on an unknown terrain. They build, spread and are stronger than ever before.

The girl who was, now gone. As she had never been before.

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @firstofficerwiggles @the-chains-are-the-easy-part

AN: pls message me if you want to be added to my list.

I know this was a bit blue and sad I promise my chapters will have lighter mood.

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #nika's writing #oc nina cerasus #fictional characters #original character #mental illness #heart illness #darth maul #starcrossed #star crossed lovers #backstory for my oc #my oc #romantic story #astrophile

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fan-fantasies · 2 years

Text

Rockin’ Willy’s

A/N: okay so this is a super specific thing to mine and Breezy’s childhoods. There was a store in our now closed mall called rockin Willy’s where you could buy music and incense and jewelry and a whole bunch of cool shit. And they had this super cool black light poster room that I’d beg my gramma to take me into and that whole store is just giving me Eddie vibes. So please enjoy taking a little dive into my childhood!

Pairing: Eddie x reader (could be gender neutral)

Warnings: mentions of drugs, maybe a swear?

This isn’t like my usual stuff, but it’s something near and dear to my heart so I hope you still like it!

Please comment and reblog :)

You watched as throngs of people walked through the mall outside your store. Well- it wasn’t your store, but you worked there enough that it should be. You knew the owner intended for you to take it over when he was ready to retire but you were getting tired of waiting for that day- part of you worried that the store wouldn’t last much longer.

Rock music was the newest focus on the media, and not for positive reasons. Satanic panic had swept the nation and small minded people bought into it. And where were there smaller minds than the ones found in Hawkins?

You knew it was going to be another slow night so you lit your favorite incense and put on a Twisted Sister album. You figured it would be a good way to pass the time while you did inventory. You ended up getting lost in your “devil music” so you didn’t hear when someone actually entered the store.

“Excuse me? Hello?”

“Oh shit, my bad!” You jumped out of your skin when you heard the voice. You turned around and immediately froze when you saw one of the prettiest guys you’d ever laid eyes on.

He wasn’t one of the normal Neanderthals of Hawkins but rather someone who looked like he had a personality. He had fluffy hair and deep brown eyes. The rings on his fingers caught the light just right as he tapped his fingers on the counter. You didn’t realize you had been staring when he cleared his throat. But it was okay because he was staring too.

He wasn’t expecting to see such a beautiful creature turn around when he walked up to the counter. All the air left his lungs and his palms got sweaty.

“What can I help you with?” You tried to act natural while you cleaned up your inventory papers.

“I was told this place was pretty cool so I thought I’d stop in. Any recommendations on what I should check out first?”

“Me well that depends what you’re into?”

“Metal, I’m in a band actually. And I’m a dungeon master,” Eddie said. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was told the place was cool, but he was also told about the hottie working there. He didn’t believe his friends when they had told him- hot and cool? No way.

“Oh Dungeons and Dragons, right? Yeah, we have some stuff for that! And music, obviously- shirts, incense, posters. You wouldn’t happen to be Eddie, would you?” You asked. A few of your only frequent customers had talked about their DnD club before and mentioned their badass dungeon master.

“Y-yeah, that’s me,” he smiled awkwardly.

“Gareth and Jeff are always talking you up. They said you’re one hell of a guitar player too,” you told him. “Maybe I could come to one of your shows if you have any?”

“That would be great! Yeah!” Eddie coughed and toned down his rather embarrassing excitement. “I’ll let you know when we have one.”

“Sweet! Well, why don’t you take a look around and see if there’s anything you like. I’ll be here if you need me,” you smiled. He nodded and ran to the back of the store.

He definitely did find something in that store that he liked and it was you. Gorgeous, cool, and interested in his band? You were too good to be true.

After that night, Eddie became a frequent customer. He spent almost all of his dealing money on the cool new shit you’d show him each week. He wasn’t gonna complain though; he’d spend every last dime he had just to watch your eyes light up as you talked to him about music or your favorite new scent of incense.

You were also growing quite fond of the metalhead. The first time you saw his band play really sealed the deal for you. Watching the way his fingers danced with his guitar strings mesmerized you and you weren’t sure you could ever tear your eyes away. That was until they found his plump lips, moving along with the words of the song.

You were both head over heels for one another but neither of you were gutsy enough to make the first move.

Jeff and Gareth always got a kick out of watching the two of you interact and teasing Eddie about it the day after. He would usually just roll his eyes and hide behind his hair, his heart skipping a beat when Jeff mentioned how you looked like you were fawning over him too.

After a few more weeks of the will-they, won’t-they bullshit, you decided to take a chance and make a move.

Eddie came into the shop about 30 minutes before closing, as per usual. He would always stay after and help you clean up, stating that it was the least he could do for pestering you so close to closing.

“(Y/N)?” He yelled when he didn’t see you when he entered.

“Hey, Eds! I’m back here!” You called from the back of the shop. It had been closed off recently for some renovations, a secret that you had yet to reveal to Eddie.

“Hey, there you are,” he smiled softly when he found you straightening out a few folded shirts.

“How’s it goin, rockstar?” You asked with a smirk.

“Oh you know, same old same old. Dealing to the popular kids who hate my guts during the day but always come back for more at night,” he said with a sad laugh. You knew he played tough for everyone else and pretended that the teasing didn’t get to him, but that would get exhausting for anyone.

“Hm well I think I may have something to brighten your day,” you said.

“Just being here is enough to do that,” he replied.

“Well if that’s the case, I guess you don’t wanna see what they’ve been working on back there,” you said, pointing to the taped up plastic blocking off the project.

“Wait, are you serious?” He asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

“Dead serious, Munson.”

“We’ll lead the way,” he said, bowing out of the way for you. You just laughed and shook your head as you walked by him.

You pulled back the plastic to reveal a large hole in the wall in the shape of a clown’s mouth. It was completely dark on the inside.

“What in the hell?”

“You haven’t seen anything yet.” You smirked. You grabbed his hand and pulled him into the mystery room. The plastic fell back down, eliminating any light that could get in.

“Is this where you kill me?”

“Shut up,” you laughed.

You flipped a switch and a black light illuminated the walls- walls that were covered in glowing posters. Every inch of the walls and ceiling was covered in a cool new poster. Some were scary, some musical, a few were littered with varying psychedelic mushrooms.

You looked over at Eddie who just studied the room with his jaw slightly dropped, staring with awe.

“Isn’t it something?” You asked with a huge grin. He finally looked at you, struck with your beauty in the glowing light.

“Yeah, sure is,” he said breathlessly, but he wasn’t talking about the posters.

The two of you stared into each other’s eyes for a minute before you decided to close the gap between you with a quick kiss. Eddie wasn’t even sure it was real, it ended as soon as it began. He decided to find out though by pressing his lips to yours again, this time in a slower, sweeter kiss. You melted into him, instantly feeling at ease.

“God, I’ve been wanting to do that for forever,” he sighed happily as he pulled away.

“We definitely should’ve done that ages ago,” you laughed.

“Guess we have some lost time to make up for then, huh?”

He pulled you in for another head-spinning kiss. You made a quick mental note to thank Jeff and Gareth for telling Eddie to check out your store… and for telling you to make a move because if they had to deal with Eddie being a lovesick puppy for one more day they’d die.

Yeah, you had plenty to thank them for.

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Taglist: Taglist: @mellomadness @munsaniac @thebookbakery @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @rafecameronswhore @dootys @tiredwritersworld @lily-sinclair-2006 @dylanobriens-love @moonbeampillgoth @lady-hellfire-1985 @lagataprrr @whore-of-many-hot-men @crimsonsabbath @moldy-khunt @wheaty-melon

#Eddie munson #Eddie munson fluff #Eddie munson x reader #Eddie munson Drabble #stranger things #stranger things 4

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