this line does insane things to me. i didnt catch it the first time bc well like ive stated before i was crying so fucking much when i read novel 8. but ive been (VERY BRAVELY) rereading a few parts and coming across this was very. yeah

What's good about KnH is (besides its main char and bc of Maomao) the way it manages the power dynamics and what life was as a woman without falling into utter pessimism and powerlessness or full romanticism; which is a reason I usually avoid like the plague historical/pseudo-historical fiction with female leads.

Usually I'd be super skeeved out by the power Jinshi has over Maomao but the way the series presents both of them, their personalities and their agency (limited as it is for Maomao but it's there and it counts very much) it brings out all the best and interesting parts. I trust this series to get twisty with them bc it establishes so well Maomao own character and understanding of her situation and the ways Jinshi can and does or doesn't take advantage of his power over her.

Like. It's presented as a problematic element, but also unavoidable given their social situation and the world they live in, so I can trust given everything else this show has done when solving the mysteries and presenting us the situations of other women, that the romance will be treated with that same weight.

Honestly if you've read over what I like to read/watch in my tumblr you'll notice that twisty and even toxic/unhealthy dynamics are very much within my favorites, but it needs to be told in a certain way. And I'm much more difficult to satisfy when talking about het romance.

So to watch KnH, notice it's primarily about Maomao life and the various misteries/medicines/palace intrigue and the romance is playing second fiddle riffing on all the themes presented on the plot? And it's complex, and plays with messy power dynamics of gender and class, but never loses Maomao her personhood? Wow.

Also. Jinshi is so BL chara coded omg XD like, he's very clearly based on a kind of shojo ML prototype (hello tamaki suoh!) but it also pulls from BL in his case (nothing to do with their romances but I think of Yan Xiaohan re:his relationship with the imperial power, from Golden Terrace lol)

And yet his romance with Maomao wouldnt work near as well for what is trying to say if they weren't a man and woman (which I love in their case, is what has me fascinated). Yes~! Get into the meat of how fraught it is for a man and a woman to be together when the man has so much power over her. Get into it!!!!

He's so so messy and fun as a chara too. Sheltered and not at the same time, you really notice all the things he misses by way of his privilege of being a noble born man (and specifically royalty, last ep (19) left that very clear he was doing a ritual probably by proxy for the emperor and also bay exchanges people. Maomao noticed and buried that thought far far below her subconscious but we all now who he is lol). Like. The way he fumbles and ends up essentially harassing Maomao at the start sometimes, which is both played for comedic effect and also upsetting. Mmm.

Like I said, I like complexity.

Also that part when he buys Maomao contract and he goes to collect her and she's all dolled up, and the clear implication by everybody but our mains (who clearly prefer to live in willfully blind land although for Jinshi I think the subtext of what he's doing lands when he sees her) is that in any other case she'd be his concubine/side-wife. It's not their situation wight now, and she's put to work as a live-in maid and apothecary and put to study (he wants her to assist him in politics lol I love that, but also he's so so lonely) but it's very much what the palace rumor mill says.

LIKE. I love the messiness! It could go soooo badly, but it also could not and there's Maomao living at the edge bc despite herself and what she says, she wants more from life, but also as she says the rear palace isn't all that different from the high class brothels and ugh. That tension. She has to depend on the favor of a man as a women of low class but she also could lose her head! GAH. And then there's feels involved! Aaagh.

seen some posts joking about gortash’s “anti-anxiety coat” due to the immune to frightened enchantment, and its probably not that deep or meta but i actually do find it a compelling look at how he really does walk around almost supernaturally fearless. like even when you threaten him he brushes it off like its funny or just nonsense, if worth reacting to at all! even when you meet him at the morphic pools to face down the netherbrain, his words convey a lack of confidence in winning but his tone and body language do not. and i think part of it is that he is insane (affectionate) but also, possibly, the power of the anti-anxiety coat lol.

he also does things like robbing the crown of karsus from the personal vault of the archdevil mephistopheles, and befriending a bhaalspawn on purpose. things that normal people or even average villains probably wouldnt dream of attempting, and he pulled them off near-flawlessly. but if he’s so effortlessly unflappable, why the coat enchantment right? the game could have made “immune to frightened” an inherent feature, but they made it something he only gains from his equipment. it’s just interesting to think about!

and since i am thinking about it… if we imagine that he is genuinely prone to anxiety or panic attacks, and has difficulty controlling it enough to be worried about appearances in public and have a whole enchanted coat about it, what do you think he’s actually scared of? does he have more of a generalised anxiety thanks to growing up in hell and etc, or do you think there are specific things that really get to him? is it other people? politics, secretly? the idea of powerlessness?

ironically i think the dark urge would probably be the only thing that genuinely does not scare him in the least, and couldnt if they tried.

I think that he was a scared little boy when his parents sold him to pay off their debts.

I don't believe his parents, when they said that he was a spiteful and hateful wretch from birth. Nubaldin says that they sold him to pay off a petty debt.

Now either of them could be lying, but I fail to see why Nubaldin would lie to you. He has no reason to, he just thinks you're one of the spirits of the damned.

Gortash's mom, on the other hand, would lie because she hates Gortash for tadpoling her, and it would be her justification for what she did to him. Plus, she's hoping you can save her, so she has to make herself look sympathetic.

So I think Gortash was hurt and abandoned, and enslaved by an awful devil, who allowed his servants to beat him black and blue. Everyone in the House of Hope is a miserable wretch. The Archivist mentions that his spine was like...I think punctured or broken for making a mistake?

And we know Nubaldin used to "bruise his knuckles" on Enver's "whimpering face."

So he must've been terrified, all of the time he spent imprisoned in the House of Hope. Of being punished, of being trapped there forever...

So when he manages to escape one day, slipping out due to a silly mistake on Nubaldin's part...

What's the first thing he would do?

Try to attain power. But not just because he's scared and wants to feel powerful! I actually have another theory.

See...some people data mined the game and discovered that Gortash might've been intended to be in the House of Hope at some point... because Raphael still has his contract.

So he's still not free of Raphael, even though he escaped him.

He has a note on his body, indicating that he might've been speaking with Helsik about going back, so he could get his contract, presumably.

Now imagine this poor lost young man...whose parents sold him. Who spent his childhood being tortured by souls of the damned and the devil and his servants.

He would never ever want to go back there. Not in life, not in death.

So what does he need to do?

Become powerful.

Strong enough to raid the hells, and either kill Raphael, or at least steal back his contract. so what does he turn to first?

Weapons. The black market. People who know about slipping in and out of the hells, and how to kill monsters, demons, and all other manner of creature.

Then, he needs to curry favor with a powerful god. One who can help him. One who can use him, for his fear and desperation. Who is a good god to turn to for that?

Bane. God of tyranny. Someone who could have use for him, if only he was clever and ruthless enough. And young Enver Gortash has a lot to prove.

And he would be drawn to the power of Bane, the ability to force others to submit to your will.

And the Dead Three?

That's even more power for him to obtain.

Siding with Ketheric, finding the Dark Urge...

I mean.

Listen.

Just on a character level, a powerless abuse victim seeking power does make sense...but I also think.

Wouldn't it be interesting, if he was doing all of this, so that he could both obtain power for himself...and also obtain the power he would need to kill Raphael?

Just food for thought.

Anyway.

Off topic.

Back to the subject of his cloak...well.

He would never want to be afraid again.

Fake it till you make it. Maybe he made or bought the cloak with the no fear enchantment so that he could fake confidence and power, until he actually had it?

Either way, it makes sense with his backstory. It's also so goddamn sad.

Also, he should be afraid of the dark urge, but isn't. Maybe that's why they were drawn to one another.

tbh maybe this is a hot take but i really dont get why people insist on having one person in natsumugi be this Super Toxic one and the other a victim. the easiest conclusion to draw is natsume being the bad guy and tsumugi the victim due to natsume getting physical and berating him at times but far too commonly do i see people insist that its the other way around and that tsumugi is actually the super toxic one and natsume just lets tsumugi emotionally manipulate him and thats ?? so weird to me ??? both of these are so weird to me ???

i can ofc see where theyre coming from. both natsume and tsumugi have plenty of issues going on in their heads. i feel like natsumes situation is more commonly understood as him simply just being difficult though and not being the best at managing his emotions, and with tsumugi i get it because he doesnt really have much of a moral compass. he doesnt quite understand peoples feelings and it results in him doing pretty fucked up things at times, but to then frame him as someone who would be abusive?? that doesnt sit right with me

tsumugi may not understand peoples emotions and be apathetic to the struggles people are going through, but its clear to anyone that that man has good intentions at the end of the day. at WORST he may get overbearingly controlling, but its never in a "you cant do x y z" way, its in a "i signed us up for this job opportunity because i thought it sounded nice and didnt speak it through with you beforehand and now we have to do it" way. had this been 2nd year tsumugi maybe he wouldve been far more desperate and even manipulative to an extent because he was in such a dark place, but current day tsumugi is actively trying to understand people better. hes trying to learn how to feel. in wonder game he even outright said that natsume taught him pain and everything else. his growth is clear

i cannot see tsumugi taking advantage of natsume in a genuinely destructive way with modern day ntmg. again, maybe during the earlier !-era stuff he could be more destructive, but natsume also does a relatively good job keeping tsumugi in his place during that time too, with him getting physical and all. its only in !!-era where tsumugi doesnt really mind it and can even make playful jokes about it because theyve Had this development in their relationship. theyve moved Past many of their toxic attributes, and theyve finally grown to understand one another. this is also when tsumugi can have a more "dominating" role in their relationship, since natsume has come to trust him to this extent, but tsumugi wouldnt take advantage of that. again; theyve now grown very close and understanding of one another. theyll have banters such as tsumugi wanting natsume to do something like idk. wear a dress. to which natsume will reply with kys but again. in !!-era this is banter and tsumugi wouldnt actually force natsume to do something he doesnt want to. theyre just very comfortable with each other now

i also really hate the position natsume gets put in with all of this. so often he is already hyperfeminized by the fandom for no reason whatsoever (which is especially fucked up considering how much he canonically hates being seen as a girl), and by making tsumugi this manipulative and abusive partner youre stripping natsume of even more autonomy and framing him as powerless. naively in love with a man thats hurting him. and that doesnt sit right with me either!! natsume does have a big heart and he has endured more than he probably should, but to think natsume would just take it ??? natsume has BACKBONE. if tsumugi upsets him he will either 1. get really mad at him or 2. start ignoring tsumugi alltogether. hes not just gonna put up with it. and tsumugi will notice this change in demeanor. ask if hes done something wrong. he may not understand what it was he did but he never intends on hurting natsume and would genuinely want to resolve it. tsumugi isnt stubborn in this regard, if he fucks up he wants to fix it. and natsume isnt a damsel in distress, why do you want him to be a helpless maiden so bad ??

theres alot of nuance to all of this and im obviously not gonna tackle every single element of their relationship and this is just an overview but TL;DR ntmg are both awful and have many faults and their relationship has gotten incredibly unhealthy at times but the point is theyre growing PAST that. maybe sometimes these toxic traits of theirs will resurface, but that does not make one the abuser and the other the victim. theyre just two fucked up people in love, standing as equals and learning to understand one another. stop framing one as evil

some details about one of my one piece ocs, Z here i should like draw proper ref of Z soon bc i think abt the little guy often. if i do talk about him more and draw him, i may just reveal his real name eventually

anyway theres really nothing happy about this boy from what i shared and i still have nothing happy. however the reason he even still holds onto life is because of books. he loves reading about adventures, whether the tales are from real journalists or something made up. it inspires Z to continue living on despite being chained down in hell

thats not what i actually wanna talk about, i just wanna talk abt something more lighthearted. while Z does appreciate all the strawhats, the ones hes most particularly fond of are luffy, nami, and robin

not that any of them told their stories, but that those four can really sympathize with Z. nami especially can relate with how Z believes he needs to shoulder everything himself to save his island considering hes only 13 enduring all this pain and suffering-- how he even refused to ask for the strawhats help until things were extremely desperate and that he had to accept that he really was powerless to do anything.

doesnt help that Z's "foster family" fed the strawhats too and how charismatic they are- Z thought that they were completely entranced by them so they wouldnt believe a word a bratty kid would say. and when Z felt completely helpless, he had pinned the blame on the strawhats and wished they never met bc things did go downhill for Z since his arrival

with robin, Z would talk about his favorite book and robin adores how he'd light up talking about it. not to mention him getting really excited when robin said she read the book before and gave him recommendations. (and as a parting gift, she gave Z a book she already finished reading. and it's about a kid his age starting their own adventure and writing everything about their exploits as they travel the world)

and with luffy, i'll admit was p hard to think about as hes not an easy character to write... but hes always been good w kids (AAAAUUUGJWHDIWHDK) and how theyve been inspired by him. what makes it harder to think about is how this kid has ace's face and acted similar to a younger ace. luffy felt a bit uneasy and Z just didnt like him at all. though theyre attracted to each other like magnets so kinda impossible to be separated without being pulled apart. when the strawhats went off to do their own things, luffy and Z somehow come across each other and it's like "stop following me!" / "you're the one following me!"

neither share what adventures they had and neither cared enough to ask. though Z was a little curious about who ace was and luffy bluntly says that theres nothing to know now bc hes dead. Z was about to pry bc ace had to be important to luffy but then again why should he care about this guy? he didnt care much about luffy and he was gonna leave soon anyway so they just left it at that. and as luffy gets distracted by a beetle on a tree trunk, Z suddenly disappears.

at some point though, luffy knew there was something wrong if Z couldnt just leave the place and people he claims to hate. and Z was startled by luffy's sudden interest in him and the island. he wasnt even sure if he could trust this pirate (esp when the 'rulers' were previously pirates !!) but he didnt feel ill intentions from luffy either so Z does tell him about the strict laws of the land which pisses him off gravely bc basically all of the people's freedoms are revoked and have to live a certain way if they wish to even live 👍👍

Z: "dunno why you're interested. you're gonna leave and forget about this hell of an island anyway. theres nothing you can do."

and again, Z cant trust others- especially not pirates. but the more time spent with the strawhats, the more respect and trust he gave. but he never once believed that they cared for him the same

I think one of the misconceptions most of the fandom has is that mike feels he is not needed in general or that he is powerless. but from the way the show portrayed this situation, the writers made mike's insecurity tied to his relationship with el specifically. mike isnt feeling like a useless nerd in general. he is feeling that way because of his relationship with el, because they are not compitable.

if mike and el were to break up mike wouldnt feel that way in general because this specific insecurity is tied to his relationship with el. mike normally likes to be goofy and a nerd and he was and still is, when el isnt around. its not something he feels constantly but it is something he feels because of his relationship with el and because of their incompitability.

i am not saying this to bash el, dont get me wrong. i am saying this to point out it was an intentional writing choice done by the writers to tie mike being insecure to specifically his relationship to el to show that they are not compitable. so, when they break up, mike wont feel like some random nerd anymore because he and el wont be in a relationship where both of them feel insecure.

Yes! I think the main problem is his relationship with El, but I don't think the problem started because of his relationship, I think it's the bullying at school that made him start feeling that way about himself, and then he started to apply that feeling to his relationship with El... when he is with his other friends he feels more like himself, and he doesn't care much about what other people think now that he's grown up, (he still cares in general a bit because everybody does, but he is very insecure only with El...) he can get over it by being with the people like Eddie, Will etc that help him feel more secure... so I don't think that Mike has heavy depression, I don't think he's portrayed that way in the show, but I do think he has a lot of trauma and that he is really confused about feelings and most of all about how other people feel towards him... I think Mike started to feel like thanks to El he had a purpose, he could help her and save Will and be important, Mike always wished he was like the heroes in the stories he loved, so when he found El that did change his life, and the fact that El liked him back seemed almost impossible to him because she was so amazing and so special, and he felt like he was just a random kid, he didn't feel special, but he also is not heavily depressed about that, it's just a fact to him!

He was scared of losing El though, so he started to change himself in season 3 trying to let go of things that he thought El would consider childish, because he liked her and wanted her to keep liking him... but the thing is that you can't really be in love with someone, and they can't really be in love with you, if you are pretending to be someone else when you are together.

That's loving the idealized version of that person, not the person!

So this mask of heteronormativity that he put on where he plays the role of the boyfriend and El has the role of ''girlfriend'' is what is stopping them from really be in love... I also feel like the writers wrote this on purpose to show how Mike and El are not the right person for each other, even liking each other and having love for each other, they can't be themselves when they are in a relationship, that's their dynamic and that's why they have to break up.... and at that point they can become friends again and be themselves like they were in season 1 and Mike can start really seeing Will, understanding that loving Will is super easy because he could always be completely himself with him and Will makes him feel like he's special and important since the start! Byler endgame was always the solution!!!

@tricoloredillusion pt. 3

It had been a month. Karma was the one to find Cardin surrounded by on lookers overseeing the bloody scene. It was bad, and for awhile there she didn’t think he would survive. She had to use small doses of Vampire Blood to keep his body alive and even when he came to, he refused to talk about what happened. For awhile Karma blamed it on shock, so she gave him time but eventually he needed to talk about it.

it wasn’t until they were headed out to the hunters hideout that he had opened up to all of it. Trivia, how she and him had a childhood together, how he had feelings for her and how that had all lead back to that night.

“So, let me get this straight.” Karma spoke, sitting next to him on an overturned log they used as a bench next to the fire they made for the night. “You came out to kill one or both of the Vanille family members but instead found your childhood friend you thought was dead but is now a vampire. One thing lead to another and you slept with her, thinking that things would be how they left off? Are you actually an idiot?” She was so pissed at him, concerned about his health, yes, but so incredibly mad that he would pull a stupid stunt like that.

“You don't understand, she’s still the same-“

“I don’t understand? Are you kidding me? She’s not in love with you, no one in love with someone else would just leave you bleeding out or be the cause of your potential death! What kind of brainwashing are you doing to yourself? She’s a vampire, they don’t love. If they did my own mother wouldn’t have tried to kill me.”

There was a silence for a moment, this certainly wasn’t helping Cardin’s mood at all. Deep down he knew Karma was right, but he also blamed himself for what happened. Cardin was the one that let it get out of hand, he was powerless to do anything about it and yet… He wouldnt change anything that happened.

Karma calmed herself slightly, leaning on the other for just a moment. Their relationship was like siblings but easily mistaken for that of romance by on lookers. “I’m just saying… If you keep pursuing her, you’re going to die. And I don’t want to see that. You almost died back there… Are you sure she’s really different from the rest?”

Another long silence between them. Just sitting there in thought while the sounds of fire crackling wood and wind through the night sky rustling the trees could be heard. It was quiet, but dread filled the air from the two of them.

i know s!e is p much omniscient, but obvs dez & frank are the mcs/protags. is there any other character who you could see being the protag aside from them (like the story mostly told from their perspective). if not Mood, pls tell me why it Has to be dez & frank (i want plot crumbs 🌚) or if there is someone else that could be the mc tell me more about them and how the story would go if we were following them instead!

HRRRRM interesting question! i think other characters that'd take major pov…Maya, Carson and Friday in part 2, then eventually Hammond in part 3! part 2 is where i actually introduce a TON of martian characters/lore along with the promethean society so hopefully i can showcase more povs as the world expands..

and hm…i dunno why it has to be frank and dez! they actually weren't meant to be the mcs at first?? they were more or less side characters who i sort of fell into developing EXPEDITIOUSLY as the world developed alongside them- especially desmond vv' he's a whole other person now compared to who he was when se was just an idea. but maybe its cuz dez is meant to be sort of a vessel of sorts for the reader? cuz like in comparison to EVERYONE-FUCKING-ELSE he's relatively normal [<- lying]!! he's a powerless and an average kid at first glance who is forced to unfortunately confront/interact with the weirdness of Necropolis and the other characters by forces that have been in play for almost a century plot wise. in a way he's meant to be relatable? but not in any way thats obvious hopefully '''

and tbh frank is also an mc cuz before SE they were both in other wips where they were…a codependent duo of godkillers and then they were a duo of spirits traveling through the afterlife believe it or not vv' frank has always been there for dez, has always been both 'his dog' and other half, and its just really hard to imagine them being apart from each other!! and of course she's also mc cuz of her weird ass family unfortunately but..tbh i think of dez and frank as extensions of each other in a way. theyve grown more as characters writing wise throughout the past year TOGETHER and well..theyre just a package deal now for sure lol

at some point i decided the story centered around them and them alone specifically v-v if anyone else or another duo happened to be in their place, SE just wouldnt be SE i think if that makes sense :D

now that i have arrived to the party it is loving tommy hours enjoy this brainrot leTS GO

KIDS WITH GUNS! ok so k!Bubbys status as resident murderchild is indisputable but what about (k!)Tommy "triggerfinger" "highest killcount in the science team" "its all instinct" Coolatta, now also materializing guns out of nowhere? at some point gordon might as well teach him better trigger discipline ("can you please not point a gun at me while you compliment me") so he wouldnt hurt anybody*

*at least anybody they dont want to be hurt vkhfshcjg

TIMESTOP what if k!tommy has time powers but the first time he stops time he cant unpause it n just hangs out with everyone in stasis

ok play with me in this space: tommy unlocking timeywimey powers inherited from Gman but hes not trained at all, so it can go off at random, maybe the first time it happens theyd be getting ambushed by something aliens or military or whatnot and feeling threatened he just pauses time instinctively but then doesnt know hOW TO UNDO IT AND hed like maybe try to get the situation under control at first, like take the soldiers guns off them and move the bullets quicksilver-style, and later still not knowing how to "unpause" he starts scouting ahead checking different routes n looking for supplies, but at some point hed start getting nervous about the gang being stuck and not progressing (and theres a bunch of fun directions you could take here too, is he by himself or did someone not get affected? sunkist? gordon? the kids? the whole team? theyd still need to get time going if darnold was still paused and couldnt progress with making the cure, but maybe this state of things would still be advantageous for them to get outa black mesa? aaaahhh so many possibilities ùwú) if he doesnt figure it out and a while passes (or. doesnt?? i guess uthfkhgc) maybe at some point GG drops by and after getting caught up on the situation decides he should probably help the poor kid out if only to nudge things forward (ooh ooh can he fix the problem by himself easily but decides to coach tomtom a bit and teach him the ropes so he can handle it in the future? or, since it was tommys doing, is he powerless and either helps tommy figure out how to get that clock ticking or theyre just paused forever and aint nothing he can do about it kbkgxkhjg)

gAh i love Tommy best character dont even💓💓💖💕💗💖

AAAAAAAAA I'M DOWN FOR TOMMY HOURS!!!

1.) I had COMPLETELY forgotten that Tommy not only had the highest kill count out of everybody, but was also extremely good with guns, to the point where it's scary. (Don't kill me, it's been a while since I rewatched the series in full and this is making me want to more than ever!!) Definitely Gordon's going to teach them gun etiquette right away, as not only are they a kid with a gun, but they are Tommy with a gun. Also, what if the first time Gordon asks Tommy politely (and rather terrifiedly) not to point a gun at him while complimenting him, they instead point their pistol at the others?  Maybe Bubby, thus making a whole new situation entirely, as Bubby's either mad thinking that Tommy's somehow challenging them, or extremely scared (but doing a fairly well masking it with a disgruntle face and violent yelling) that Tommy is indeed pointing a gun at them.

2.) I really love your idea of Tommy stopping time instictively in order to help the group, but they don't know how to get time moving again until G-Man comes to help like the dad they are!! Sure, Tommy might be a little disgruntled that G-Man doesn't immediately unfreeze time and everything goes back to normal, but they later come to appreciate that not only are they bonding with their dad, but they're also teaching them the ropes when it comes to breaking the laws of time. (They can even take as long as they want, and it'll make no difference, as time is rather frozen at the moment. A couple of minutes, or even hours, would simply feel like a milisecond once everyone became unfrozen.)  As for the possibility of someone being unaffected by Tommy's time-pausing abilities, that would have to go to Benrey.

Although I would like Tommy and G-Man to have a one-on-one family bonding experience, with G-Man teaching Tommy how to use their powers, there is some wiggle room for Benrey to squeeze in. (If I do remember correctly, Benrey did manage to talk to both Gordon and G-Man himself while time was paused in the original series!) They wouldn't be much of a bother anyway, as they'd most likely just laze around or watch Tommy and G-Man, respectively. (Which causes G-Man to be on-edge and rather creeped out...)

Overall, I loved your ideas and they were really fun to explore!!!! Plus, AAAAAAAA- MORE TOMMY CONTENT FOR THIS BLOG LET'S GOOOOOO!!!! 🥺🥺

school's starting :(

not very happy about it tbh :( saw a lot of ppl i didnt wanna see at open house yesterday, including JULIAN idk why he was there but whatever ANYWAYS half my teachers know im engaged now so thats something. next its gonna be the students. and they all think i dated that one guy a few months ago so now theyre gonna think im a crazy whore but yknow what thats cool theres no point in convincing ppl otherwise its my last year i dont really give two shits anymore. honestly im hoping something drastic happens so i have an excuse to drop out *cough cough pregnancy cough cough* cause my mental health is already DRAINING RAPIDLY so me having to juggle school, work, AND the fuckery at home this is not going to end well for me at all. i wont even have time to BREATHE anymore. and even if i do, i wont be paid as much as i was before... so im just losing all round right now. idk what im gonna do... i need a plan. cause i literally wont be able to do homework or any shit like that except on my off days and then i wont even have any damn free time to do shit. this fucking sucks. big time. we'll just have to see how it works out, cause a couple different things could happen. one: i'll have to quit my job because its affecting my performance at school, and as long as im living with my parents thats gonna be an issue so they might force me to quit. which i wouldnt be that upset over except for the fact that i NEED MONEY. or two: i run away and drop out of school because i cant continue to put myself through this shit when i dont even need it cause im not going to college, im quitting my job by the end of next year and im NOT getting another one. what am i gonna need the diploma for? self satisfaction? what would satisfy me would be the ability to live at home with my fiance not needing to do shit. im willing to do anything to get to that point faster. i already know by my first day im gonna hate it and im gonna be stressed tf out, and i know as i go along either my job performance is gonna drop severely or my SCHOOL performance is gonna drop severely, neither of which are good. but whatever. i dont see how the rest of my family is allowed to drop out of high school and college to have kids at fuckin 15-16 but i cant? i know they dont want that for me but i DO want it. anything is better than another year at that hell hole, COMBINED with having to work the other half of the damn day. i'll never be able to catch a fucking break. i'll wake up at 5 am, go to school, get off at 2:30, then go right to work and probably get off when they close. and then i'll come home at 10 oclock and cram everything else i had to do in that 1-2 hours of freedom i have before i go to sleep because if i dont go to sleep before 12 im not gonna be able to function when i wake up, or i just wont be able to work at all. theres literally no way out of this. its gonna suck no matter what. unless javi for some reason completed his training super fucking early and started his job way earlier than i know im gonna have to finish school, and probably be unemployed at that point. i cant fix this myself at all. im powerless. no matter what i do i wont be able to relax, i wont be able to take a damn breath. i feel trapped, i'll literally do anything to stop this. but i cant. at least i cant do anything RATIONAL. cause there is no rational way out. if i chose a rational way out, i'll lose my job and probably get shit for quitting by my stepdad cause i cant fucking drop out and i need to focus on school. i would have to do some bad shit to get out of this. i could run away, i could get pregnant or some shit, or i could go with ol fashioned plan z. but is that really what i wanna do? not really. because i love javier, and i would miss him. but at the same time, what else do i do? what else IS there to do? im literally powerless. so..

in conclusion, im lowkey thinking of offing myself.

Sningo evolving would be an interesting thing to see i think

Holy crap im sorry i forgot about this.

Ok so i dont think he would willingly want to evolve. I think he can though. His situation has to be dire though. Sooooo maybe either someone captured him AND Emmet or him and Emmet gets trapped in like a collapsed tunnel. Either way Emmet has to be in trouble. Ill try to so both. Hopefully i remember to do the other by the end of he first.

Emmet captured:

So Emmet was captured along with Ingo since he wouldnt let go of Ingo no matter what. No matter how many attacks they three at the man he wasnt giving in. So they just take em both. Emmet is in some serious medical attention. And Ingo is very much so worried about his little brothers well being. This is all HIS fault after all. Emmet is only hurt from protecting him. Ingo tried to get Emmet to give up and let him go but he refused. So he was forced to watch as his brother took blow after blow protecting him. Now they are in the back of some van being taken somewhere and Emmet is coming down from that adrenaline rush. The pain is setting in slowly and Ingo can see it happening in real time. Emmet needs a doctor and fast. Ingo is far to small to do anything about it either. But that doesnt mean hes powerless. Maybe when they arrive at their destination their captor makes a mistake and Ingo and Emmet escape. Maybe Ingos attacks gave them the opening hey needed. They run off into the wilderness. Its pretty far from the city though. And Emmet is getting worse by the minute.

Till finally he collapses unable to walk any further. Ingo can hear people off in the distance searching for them so they cant stop. Emmet probably tells Ingo to go on without him. But theres no way Ingos doing that. If he could just carry Emmet they could keep moving but hes so small. He tries to help Emmet walk but its so good hes too weak to be of any use. Then when Emmet can finally hear people he starts trying to push Ingo away. To get him to flee but Ingo is a good older brother. He knows what he needs to do. So he evolves then and there. He doesnt care if this means he can never be human again. He just has to save Emmet. Nothing else matters to him. Now in the full form of a sneaseler he can carry Emmet and keep moving. I imagine though it was a hard evolution to bring on since he really didnt want to but had to. So picture this if you will. Sneaseler Ingo carrying Emmet with tears in his eyes because he thinks he just gave up his humanity. Emmet of course gasped and yelled for Ingo to stop to not evolve that He’s not worth it. Emmet yelling that Ingo could be giving up his chance st humanity that theres gotta be another way. Emmet probably blacks out during their escape when he wakes up in a hospital hes panicking for Ingo. Maybe hes forgotten about that evolution and hes just worried because he knows people had been after Ingo. That is until Ingo walks in. As a sneaseler. Emmets heart drops. Ingo just offers a soft look before looking away from Emmets gaze. Maybe Emmet gets up and walks over to him on shaky legs and just wraps his arms around Ingo. Apologies follow im sure. Which Ingo shakes his head at though hes trembling too from what hes done. Though when Emmet pulls away he can see this is the closest they have been to seeing eye to eye.

OK THATS DONE sorry its probably hard to read i kinda struggled with it. I also have no idea how talk sneaselers are. I probably made him a little tall but honestly let the man become a noble. It was for a worthy cause wasnt Arceus. Let him be tall again. Ok im a do the tunnel one now. But im a put it in a reblog of this post since this is getting long. Since i forgot about this anon for so long i think you have earned two responces for this. Though i might have three idk

UHH!!! could i possibly get 4, 16, and 37 for mormor, for that ask meme? love your thoughts on the boys so very much

firstly: awww thankssss <3

4 - First impressions of each other? Was it love at first sight?

i think for jim, it was more of a "i can use you" at first sight, since seb wasnt in a good place at the moment, he was just dishonorably discharged, probably homeless and most likely drinking heavily, he was desperate for the work and jim could use that, conditions and adequate pay be damned. i think that seb was just another pawn, just another gun on the roof. it wasnt until seb was relatively recovered and more of his true self that he really saw him for him, could use seb for seb the way they both like for him to be used (does any of this make sense?)

for seb, as i mentioned before he wasnt in a good place when they met, most likely really depressed and probably just overall super angry with everything, so i doubt his libido was very high. i dont think seb really saw jim in any way other than a paycheck (meager as it may be) until a while later when work was steady and he was back on his feet.

16 - Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat

I dont think either of them has anything huge to keep anyways, what i mean by that is that so much of their lives is their work and both of them have become pretty essential to the operation so there isnt really much to hide. their relationship is deceptively codependent and so any secret they keep isnt even worth mentioning. i also think it depends where they are hypothetically in their relationship, cause at the begining, seb knows next to nothing about jim's past, but jim slowly divulges information in moments of vulnerability and such.

i think they lie often enough but like not in a mean way, just like j: where were you? seb: fucking the pope, whats it to you?

im projecting my own preference for monogamy onto them so i dont think their relationship is an open* one (see codependence), i also dont see either of them as the cheating type but both LOVE to make the other jealous so they might flirt with someone while the other is just watching (picture seb perched on a building, looking at jim through his scope while he flirts with the barista at the coffee shop or something, knowing full well that seb is watching AND that he could kill either of them at the drop of a hat) *this isnt slander to those who DO interpret their relationship as an open one, because it is an interesting concept for them to explore as well as a fitting one, i just dont personally see them that way

37 - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

seb would do ANYTHING for jim, because as we all know behind all that snark and behind that hard exterior, he just loves jim for all that he is and is incredibly loyal to him. dying for him isnt even a question because the answer is so obvious to him. seb would sacrifice everything and anything for jim, heres a line that sums up what im trying to say "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat" (Two by Sleeping At Last)

the other way around, i dont think that jim KNOWS he would do anything for seb (i know this doesnt make sense), what i mean by that is that he sort of expects seb dying for him as an eventuality and feels so powerless to stop it that he doesnt even try, that is, until Near NEAR Death Experience my beloved, which is just one of my headcanons for them, in which seb comes very close to death, is presumed dead and jim just breaks into a million pieces, he feels he SHOULD have done anything for seb, he regrets not trying, he would lay down his life in hindsight now that he realizes the sheer extent of his loss, and when seb comes back, jim makes a promise to himself, a selfish promise, to die before seb (watch them die together tho lol as if either of them is gonna just let the other die without joining in)

in terms of lines they wouldnt cross i dont think either of them are very strict on boundaries or sacrifice, since jim is self sacrificial and jim just Wont Let Him Die By Whatever Means Necessary

also if anyone would like for me to detail the near death experience headcanon in full ill make a post :)

Lets talk about Korra (again)

i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think  this one will be better written

What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.

In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills

Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.

“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.

As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that. 

So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.

So she came to Republic City, it was a mess. 

Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky. 

Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.

Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok

The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.

In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.

And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.

Tarrlok in the  other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.

Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.

The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain  power. And that was exacly what happened

Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it. 

But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event

In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.

Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was  physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.

Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.

Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this

I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.

Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible  when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this.  And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her

One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.

And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about  Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming 

HISTORY

Paring - Loki x Reader

Word count - 2,124

Warnings - None

This is my first fanfic so please don't be too harsh, but I would greatly appreciate some of your opinions on how i can improve my writing. Thank you.

It had been three days since you came to Asgard. Thor had offered to take you after hearing that your thesis was on Asgusrdian History. He had explained that the library was full of ancient knowledge. Of course it was mostly in Old Norse, but he showed you the section you would be able to read and understand.

Being an unofficial member of the Avengers came in handy when it came to your University papers. Of course you helped them when the time came but you weren't a true Avenger, you were neither trained in combat nor held any special gifts. But you were a tactician. And a good one at that. You already knew Tony and when he had asked for your help on a mission, you had to accept. Of course school came first but you could never refuse Tony of the help he needed. Especially when his life was on the line. And you helped save his life. On many occasions. He had asked you so move into Stark tower after that. Of course then the Avengers came and you became friends with them all.

Steve was easy to get along with, he didnt understand most of the references you made but he's always there for you. It was easy to tell Natasha anything and everything, her being the only other girl on the team made it easy for you to open up ro her. Bruce was smart, you didn't understand most of the things he said but being around Tony so much made you understand a little more than the others. Clint was a father figure to you. You knew about his family already, so you always went to him for advice Steve couldnt give you. But you never really understood Thor, after all he came from a different realm. And after witnessing first-hand what his brother did in new york you had found it difficult to trust him, thinking if Loki was capable of doing that then the other god could obviously do so much more.

But these past three days have been very helpful, you have been stuck in the Library reading non stop. The history of Asgard was a lot more than you expected. Thousands of years worth of wars, protests, evolution. It wasn't much different from the history on earth. The development was the same. The first war was about taking land and Asgard had claimed it. The second was about beliefs and claiming the opposing opinion was always wrong. The third was about a king who couldnt rule. So the Asgardians fought against him until his son took over the throne and ruled over Asgard better than his father ever did. It intrigued you greatly to find that you weren't that much different.

But it was today that you found out Loki was in Asgard. It scared you of course. After seeing the genocide in New York you never wanted to face him again. But Thor had pleaded about Loki's change of heart, explaining that he wouldnt hurt you or anyone again. He gave his word. So you trusted him. But when Loki entered the Library, you couldnt deny the fear that had crawled its way up your back. He sat down across the room facing you but his eyes were focused on the book in his hands.

Looking at him, seeing him again. It brought back the memories of new york, the way his eyes darkened whdn he found you in Stark tower. Powerless and scared. You heard Tony speaking to you in the earpiece, asking for your next move. But you couldnt speak, Loki had his eyes on you. You knew you had to tell Tony somehow. So when he came close enough you muttered to yourself.

"L-loki." He heard the fear in you voice, saw it in your eyes. And he grinned. He enjoyed placimg fear into peoples hearts. And you despised him. You heard Tony yelling at Thor to try and get eyes on you from outside. You hears the panic in his voice. But Loki didnt do anything to you. He went back to the portal device to talk the professor he had under his control. You told Tony quietly where in the tower you were and that is what gave them the upperhand.

But looking at Loki right now. It shocked you, he looked so peaceful. Like New York never happened. You didnt understand. But Loki felt your gaze om him and looked up, his eyes meeting your own. Your eyes widened and you shot your head down to resume your reading, trying to hide away.

His gaze lingered trying to recall why he recognized you, and when he remembered he felt remorse. You were the only human he didnt try to hurt in New York. He didnt know why he couldn't, maybe it was the look on your face. Or the knowledge that you couldnt move in fear he would do something. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him. He could tell you were struggling to be in the same room as him so he took his book and left to his chambers so he wouldnt bother you. That action put many questions in your head. Why did he leave? Did he recognize me? Was he trying to be kind? You couldnt comprehend his actions, but were thankful none the less.

It had been a week and you had read most of the books you used to help with your thesis but the last one you needed you couldn't understand. It was in English but it was very confusing to you. You knew Thor couldnt help because he had other things to do. And the only people you really spoke to during your time here were the servants who Thor had sent to give you meals and remind you to sleep.

That gave you one more option that you dreaded to even think about. Loki. He obviously loves reading, he came in daily to change his book and left immediately after, and he was Asgardian so he knew the history. But you just didnt want to face him. Your history wasnt a good one. But you knew you needed help. And he was academically smarter than Thor. You knew which room was his, you asked just so you could avoid it. He had avoided you to make you feel safer - or that's what you presumed at least. It was the last bit of information you needed for your paper so you had to do it. The sooner you did, the sooner you could go back home.

So you bravely got up and headed to the side of the palace you avoided at all costs. The layout was almost mirrored so it was easy to get around. Then you found his door. You hesitated for a moment. Contemplating if you should even do this. You hand was balled into a fist ready to knock, before the door opened by itself. You looked up to see Loki's radient blue eyes looking down at you in confusion with a raised brow. You dropped your hand to your side. There was a silence between you before you spoke.

"I need your help." An amused grin appeared on his face his eyes never leaving your own.

"Oh? And what could i possibly help you with that my dear brother cannot" His voice was dripping with sarcasm, obviously amused at your request for assistance.

"I need help learning Asgardian history and no one i know is academically smarter than you. You-you come to the library daily to change your books, so- its obvious you like to read" You were surprised you could form a sentence, let alone two. He broke you away from your thoughts with a chuckle.

"Yes i enjoy reading, it would be a pleasure to help you darling" Darling? The way he said it made your heart skip a beat. Was it the intimating tone? Or the fact he gave you a nickname. You couldnt tell. But for the first time ever you gave him a genuine smile.

"Thank you very much. I left my stuff in the Library, i didnt think you would accept my request." This time it was a lot easier to talk. His eyes weren't as dark as they were that day in New York. They were calmer, at peace. They were bright and full of hidden stories you wanted to read.

"Why would i refuse the request of such a beautiful midgardian" Your breath got stuck in your throat. He complimented the very woman he had frightened years prior. That fear that had been knawing at you for years suddenly disappeared. He felt lile a different person entirely. Thor was right, he has changed. Tony wouldn't believe it though. He would never trust Loki, you knew him well enough to know that. But your opinion of him has completely changed.

"Lets go then, i only have two more days to complete my paper." He nodded and closed his door leading the way even if you already knew where you were going, you didnt mind. You stayed by his side holding a small conversation until you made it to the Library. You sat down and explained what you didnt understand, he simplified the context so I would be able to gather the information I needed. You were just about finished when Thor came to check up on you. He was shocked to see you not just near Loki but speaking to him. He knew of your dislike for him so he didnt know what to do. You were facing the pages of the book so you didn't see him enter. He made his presence known by closing the door he had previously left open. You looked up and smiled as you saw him. You hand automatically gave him a snall wave before returning to your notebook.

"What are you doing here brother?" Thor obviously wanted answers so you didnt give Loki a chance to.

"He's helping me learn about Asgardian history! He simplified it so I was able to understand much better. Plus hes very knowledgeable."

"So you're okay? Being with him after last time i thought-"

"Yeah I mean I hesitated to even ask for help but I'm glad I did. Plus he has some very funny stories fron your childhood too. The stabby snake one is my favourite." You saw Thor's frown deepen knowing that Loki shared embarrassing stories of himself. But he was happy nonetheless. You were able to talk to his brother without the fear if getting hurt.

"How long do until your research is complete? Tony has asked me to escort you home once your done with your studies." You shrugged in response.

"Not long, about two hours or so." A smile made its way to your lips knowing youll be able to go home. But you heart ached at the thought of leaving Loki after befriending him so suddenly.

"But will Loki be able to come with us? He taught me so much about Asgard I want to show him earths history. I can take him to the museum I took you to when you were first curious." Thor was pondering your request to take his brother to the avengers tower alongside you. How would Tony react knowing you feared his brother? Would the rest of the avengers be okay with it.

"Theres a spare room across from mine he could stay in durin his visit. C'mon Thor. Please, its not very often that i get over my fears." You're eyes pleaded to him. Begging for him to say yes. You needed to talk to Loki about the modern literature on earth. You had plenty of books in your own room you could let him borrow. And it seemed like Thor knew he couldnt win this fight.

"Alright, Loki can you escort her home once you're done?" Thor had put every ounce of trust he had into his brother. He knew you weren't capable of combat but he also knew how similar the two of you were.

"Of course brother. I shall take good care if her, you need not worry." And then Thor took his leave. It was a good idea to bring Loki with you. Once you got home Tony was less than pleased at the sight of Loki, he begged you to hate him again and make him leave. But you wouldn't. You had to many things to show him. You had so much in common plus, in the short amount of time that you trusted him, he may have found his way into your heart.

I saw you mention a 'Lukas moving castle' in the tag game and im just :eyes emoji: if you wouldnt mind sharing more about it

askdjcnds Always happy to ramble about aus! It would be mostly based on the movie with a little influence from the book but

Luka is the wizard infamous for eating hearts and lives in a moving castle with a talking fire demon named Snatcher (Snatcher would be a purple flame with his golden jack-o-lantern face) and! Hat and Bow showed up at the castle one day and Luka never kicked them out so they just live there now. Congrats, Luka, you’re a dad (this part is based on the book, where Micheal just showed up one day and Howl hates commitment so never formally accepts Micheal to be his apprentice and Micheal was like "it's free real estate wizard mentor") But! In this au, Luka does adore the girls and adopts/spoils them. In fact, he meets the florist because he went to the hat shop to get a new hat and bow for the girls respectively! Rest under a read more!

The florist would be Sophie in this au. Like Sophie, her family runs a hat shop, but the florist is better suited for flowers~ Which matches the movie in that regard. And when Luka stops in to buy the hat and bow, that’s when Vanessa, as the Witch of the waste comes in. Luka senses this and tries to draw her ire from the hat shop, but Vanessa saw their hands touch while Luka paid, and thus, it was too late. The florist is involved now. (I don’t have a name for the florist in this au yet, I like to mix it up)

That was where I stopped because I was thinking about what I wanted the curse to be for the florist, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stick with the original curse that makes her age or if something would be better suited to symbolize her inner conflict! I’m still thinking about it a bit, but I think aging might actually work? Or it might be something to foil Vanessa?

Madame Suliman would Vanessa’s mom and so I would have her be the most sinister role again, and Vanessa would be trying to make her mom proud? Based on the line where the Witch of the waste mentions Madame Suliman finally recognizes her talent and invites her to the castle. (But it would of course, be a trap for Vanessa. I would, again, have to figure out what the difference is between Witch Vanessa and then powerless Vanessa and what she loses with her powers because I do imagine her to be young in this and not merely masking her age like the Witch of the Waste does.)

Luka! Would still have given his heart to Snatcher and turn into a bird monster, but I would keep his natural hair color (and his bird feathers) as brown AND he could begin with black hair as a visual symbolism of him trying to run away from himself. (Howl runs away from responsibilities, Luka runs away from who he was with Vanessa) and instead of a vanity thing, when the florist moves his shampoo potions, it initially turns his hair blond which FREAKS HIM OUT because it reminds him of the last time... he had blond hair... and then it goes back to brown.

Moonjumper is turnip head. A pale blue turnip that an animal took a bite out of shortly after the curse so he’s got a crescent thing going. But, in then end, I imagine Moonjumper would stick around and Vanessa would be the one to go back to the kingdoms and work on repairing relationships between the kingdoms WHICH WOULD require more tweaking her own role in the story and how she interacts with her mom, but like the witch of the waste, Vanessa would be after Luka’s heart but willingly give it to the florist in the end, so the florist could return it to Luka.

Hat and Bow could have been the ones to design the door that leads to all the different places! And I like the idea of them tagging along with the florist to the past where they get to see Luka swallow Snatcher as a falling star... And they’re able to do that through time pieces!

Hat and Bow make Rumbi to help the florist clean? Or Rumbi could just be a dog.

and they’re all just a big fambly in the end ;o; <333 THAT WAS SO LONG but hopefully it makes sense

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......