#so he's kind of resentful and stuff still. but he's also younger now. idk my point is that romane and sam's dynamic is basically:
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Thinking about a Parallels AU where the main four + Camille are all different ages at the start of the show, and all the dynamics are different because of it.
The only main characters who have met at the start are Sam and Victor, and Sam and Bilal.
Sam is fifteen years old, so he's the closest to his canon age.
Victor is nine years old, so he's the youngest by a lot in this.
Bilal is thirty years old, and he's working with his mom on the tests. He also tutors Sam in math on the weekends.
Romane is nineteen years old, and hasn't met any of the other main characters.
Camille is nine years old, and she and Victor go to the same school.
Episode one starts when Sam is supposed to go to tutoring, but ends up needing to bring Victor with him, because their parents weren't able to pick him up from some activity or other.
I haven't figured out how they get to the woods from there; for the sake of convenience, let's say that cat Romane and Camille feed shows up injured, and they end up following the cat to try and help it? Work in progress.
Anyways, once they're close to the bunker, they run into Romane. Assuming we're going with the cat plot device, because I can't think of anything else right now, Romane was also trying to find the cat. The cat is gone now, though, and they're all about to turn back.
Then Victor notices the bunker (the key is in the door, idk), and wants to go inside. Sam and Bilal don't think it's a good idea, but Romane also wants to go inside for some reason, and the four end up going to check it out.
The test goes off, of course, and the timelines split.
Timeline 1 - Romane and Victor are left in the bunker.
Victor definitely blames himself for the disappearances, since he was the one to suggest going in the bunker in the first place. Romane also definitely blames herself for the disappearances, since Victor is nine years old, and she should have known it was a bad idea, but she didn't, and now this kid's brother is probably dead because of that.
Romane ends up talking to Victor afterwards, and realizes that he goes to school with Camille. The conversation turns to that, and Victor mentions that he's not doing great in some subject or other; a subject Romane happens to be good at. Feeling like it's the absolute least she could do for him, she offers to help him with homework after school.
Since Victor is literally an elementary school child, his parents are not sending him to boarding school. They do become increasingly distant and harsh, and Victor becomes increasingly convinced that they don't care about him.
Victor ends up spending a lot of time at Romane and Camille's house. At first, it's just because Romane's helping him with homework. Then it sinks in that no one else understands what happened in the bunker, and that fact starts playing into their dynamic. Then he starts to become friends with Camille. By the time four years have gone by, Victor and Camille are close friends, and Romane sees Victor as another sibling. (She hasn't moved out yet because a. She's attending university nearby. and b. She doesn't trust Herve and wants to keep an eye on her family.)
Then Vanessa Chassangre dies, and Romane is faced with the possibility of losing her sister. She's trying to figure out if she has any chance at getting custody, when Victor shows up to ask if she wants to go back to the bunker. Neither of them have figured out the correlation with the test in this AU, but they still go, out of sentimentality and curiosity and several other complicated emotions.
Test happens again; Victor and Romane time travel.
Timeline 2 - Romane and Bilal are left in the bunker.
Bilal connects the dots between the tests and the disappearances pretty quickly. He tells his mom. Then he tells Romane.
Bilal decides to try and find a way to save Sam and Victor. This time, it's less out of personal grief and more out of a sense of responsibility for what happened and guilt.
Romane graduates high school feeling completely lost. She doesn't know what she wants to do with her life, and she can't shake the guilt over what happened.
Haven't planned it out too well, but Bilal and Romane stay in contact. I'm not sure how it's going to work, but he's able to get her accepted for an internship at some point, and she ends up working with Bilal and Sofia.
The three of them continue to work at the time travel. Along the way, Romane becomes close with both Sofia and Bilal, viewing them as family.
Vanessa dies; Herve tries to take Camille. This time, it doesn't work. Romane has a support net, a steady income, and a future in the physics field. Romane gets custody of her sister.
They figure out the time travel. Bilal decides to go back.
Timeline 3 - Sam is left in the bunker; Bilal travels back to this one; Victor and Romane travel back to this one.
Since Bilal was already an adult before the time travel, Sam still recognizes him. He's clearly aged several years, though, which everyone is very confused about. Bilal has his canonical memory loss.
Idk what happens for the first day, but then Romane and Victor show up to the timeline at the same time they do in canon.
I haven't thought about how the plot changes from there, but the timeline where Victor kills Sam and then disappears after time traveling again doesn't happen. The official explanation is that they're able to stop it from happening the first time; the actual explanation is that I can't keep track of that many timelines in an already complicated AU.
Notes on the AU:
Camille ends up being there for the finale's events, both because she's a little older in the AU and because she's friends with Victor in the AU, so she insists on coming with the main characters.
Victor's emotional conflict ends up being roughly the same, because on the one hand, he's had more of a support net for those four years, but on the other, he's younger with more intense emotions, so it all kind of evens out.
For obvious reasons, none of the canon romantic relationships exist, with the exception of Sofia and Lieutenant Retz.
Obviously lots of things are different with this one, but I can't really think of a lot right now because I'm tired, so I might add to this later.
#parallels#disney parallels#paralleles#disney paralleles#probably won't do anything with this AU. but i'm gonna name it the Age Shuffle AU just in case i do.#also romane mostly just hangs out with camille and victor in her timeline.#she doesn't really have any other friends because a. it kind of adds to the dynamics and b. i thought it'd be kind of funny#Vanessa: romane you should make some friends. Romane: i have friends. i have two friends.#Vanessa: are you talking about your nine year old sister and her nine year old friend. Romane: yes.#also once everyone reunites victor is obviously so glad to see sam again but he also links his parents treatment of him back to sam.#so he's kind of resentful and stuff still. but he's also younger now. idk my point is that romane and sam's dynamic is basically:#Sam: why did you steal my brother. why does he like you better than me now. Romane: you were dead. free sibling.#Sam: I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.#like. from his perspective she's some random stranger who was in the woods the day before yesterday.#he probably thought for at least a few minutes that she kidnapped victor at first because she's the only one there he's never met.#and from her perspective he's the kid who's been basically haunting the narrative for four years. idk it's interesting.#i am so sleepy. this whole concept might be nonsense idk. i'll decide in the morning.#anyways. fun little AU idea. any thoughts?
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On the other hand, the drama in my head won't stop either 🥲🥲
Look I love them in their domestic slice of life and also drama 🤣
I'm trying to keep those drama ideas at least logical 🤪🤪
Like, has Kevin seen how much passion(hatred) Raymond has for Wuntch? Did he ever wonder or in their younger year gets suspicious about it?
Or have he seen how drama Raymond is at the precinct? Did he ever wonder why his husband is much more childish and dramatic around his colleagues and secretly thought if he's the one restricting Raymond? Although from the Season 6 heist we know that he doesn't like that side of Raymond lol
Did Raymond ever get competitive with Kevin? I mean he's super competitive and I think Kevin is not as much (if it's not serve as an argument or structured debate).
What was the occasion or what happens that makes Raymond in his younger years think he has to change all about himself? (Which internally he's still that hot headed detective but what makes him decide to tone it down?) Did something happen to him and Kevin was devastated about it so he swears he won't make Kevin go through like that again?
And omg that Honeypot episode, I swear Kevin will start a storm (likely silently because he still trusts his husband after all, but I think he'd secretly resent Jake for bringing Gordon into the 99) if he sees how flirty Raymond and Gordon is, which I understand it is for Triple Dragon (or whatever the name is, I kinda hate that episode so I rarely rewatches it) operation but still. I mean going to a barrel museum with some other men is enough to be banished to the guest room what will happen if he sees the flirt??
Oh oh also, Raymond is all fed up when the dentist insults(kinda?) the word "doctor", what would he do if a fellow NYPD higher ranking people (from another precinct ofc) does that? I think Raymond would have defended Kevin to his superior officer now but in his younger years when he's trying to climb the ladder maybe not??? (That's where the drama started) One more unpleasant NYPD memory for Kevin!
Then, what else... Uhh we know Raymond is likely Kevin's first boyfriend or at least the first official one because his parents not knowing he's gay before that, so how was the struggle of him come to realize that Raymond is the one?
A personal headcanon for me is that Raymond is the one who shapes Kevin the confident, sarcastic 🤣 academics (which I know my Kevin tend to be much softer because... Well idk how to write sarcasm and they are too smart for me 😂) today because I'd think a closeted boy in his 20s in maybe 1970-ish? will be a pretty quiet and lay-low type, and maybe scared and sheepish. Especially if he came from a likely Christian family?
So Kevin always looks up to Raymond, he will always adore him and Raymond does the same to his high-end academic boyfriend/husband lol And despite their similar POV on stuff and interest, I still think internally they are attracted to each other not only for their similarities but also their difference!
Like how Raymond was always protecting Kevin physically and Kevin always protecting Raymond mentally. Look it's my personal headcanon but I loved it. 🤣
And oh oh I'd also like to imagine such smart academics like Kevin will receive all kinds of offers from other Universities but he always turned down them. Maybe Raymond found out through a citizen coming into the precinct and met Kevin, excited all about it and disappointed that he turned down their prestigious significantly better offer. Then Raymond started his overthinking drama train, all aboard on the drama train! (I mean he even suffers when Kevin was just away for 6 months in Sorbonne)
Speaking of dependencies, I guess Kevin is kinda used to being alone because of Raymond's job (he said it himself in the Commissioner episode that he sacrifices a lot of time with Kevin) so he's not as dependent as Raymond. But for Raymond, he already doesn't remember the life before Kevin where when he came back home there was no husband in the house.
Btw that being alone in the opera, symphony and I'm sure a bunch of other things Raymond kept cancelling for is another great drama source.
And then I have another one more like What Ifs, where in their younger years Raymond was undercover for a long time (kinda like Pimento but that's too long) and how Kevin coped with that.
Look these are just the ideas that I'd like to think at least logical?? 🤣 And I have like tons for AU, TGP crossover, Canon-Divergent stuff. 🥲
I hope I'll never get over this OTP and just keep going to write about them 🤗
#holt x kevin#damn that was a lot#but only a fraction from my brain and my notes#at least these are not the ridiculous one#btw i start to post here because i want to share some part of my brain (no one wants that) about them in 2023
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And another thing, he said as if its ever just ONE more thing, hahahaha look, fuck you numbers, I’m not about to be limited by the likes of YOU.
Anyway.
Anyone else think its kinda weird that in all the many years of “Dick not so secretly resented Jason because Bruce adopted him and made him Robin and that’s why they were never close” fics.......there seem to be a big whopping zero that take the fix-it approach:
“What if Bruce had been aware of the tension between the two because he’s not actually a Dumb Dumb McStupidhead and thought to himself, gee, if only there was something I, the parent, had the power to do about this resentment from one brother based on something I, the parent, did for the other brother who never did anything because he is not the parent and also he did nothing wrong? What if given that I and my actions are the actual problem here, I, the parent, he who holdeth both the actual power in this family as the parent and the power as the problem-causer, to address the problem.....like what if I got off my ‘matches with Batman’ butt and.....did...something? About it?”
Like.....oh I don’t know, just spitballing here....maybe explaining to Jason just what it was Dick was resentful about when it came to Robin and that Jason wasn’t the one Dick was actually mad at, which more than likely would have prompted the extremely empathetic at this age Jason to take Dick’s side and be like wtf, you gotta fix this B.
Or maybe like, going to Dick and expressing how sorry he is that he didn’t consider how Dick would feel about any of this and that he’s let it go unaddressed for so long since then, which more than likely would have NOT resulted in Dick continuing to hold a grudge against an innocent third party but rather be like thank you this is literally all I ever wanted, a fucking acknowledgment that you’d hurt me and that my being hurt mattered to you?
Or if the problem is more Dick being resentful that Bruce adopted Jason and not him, maybe Bruce explaining this to Jason and that Jason wasn’t the one Dick was actually mad at, which again, more than likely would have prompted the extremely empathetic Jason to go umm, wtf are you talking to me about this for then, if you think he’s upset about that why the fuck aren’t you going to talk to him about it and tell him all this stuff about regretting not adopting him before now and sparing him this hurt instead? Like what are you waiting for old man, your fucking helicopter to come pick you up? NOW. Go NOW. You’re not getting any younger, geez Louise, why are old people so dumb.
Or maybe like.....Bruce going to Dick and expressing how sorry he is that he didn’t consider how Dick would feel about.....look, you see where I’m going with this, right? You get it? Its not actually all that tricky to grasp?
Or hell, maybe even just in a fic where Jason nurses his own resentment over the fact that he’s heard so much about Dick and looked forward to meeting him and yet months and months go by since Jason’s adoption and in all that time his alleged big brother apparently can’t even be bothered to come introduce himself, RIP Jason’s feelings, guess he can’t possibly matter all that much to the guy, way to welcome him to the family......
I mean, its not like THAT thought neeeeeeever comes up in fic, so its like, hmmm, counterpoint, but where are all the fics that take the angle of rather than let Jason think he doesn’t matter to his predecessor and let Dick take all the blame for this impression when there’s LITERALLY nothing Dick could do about it since he found out about Jason from the freaking newspaper months after the adoption and only after Jason debuted as Robin.....maybe Bruce, could again, just like....start a conversation. And be like Jason I seem to have inadvertently given you the wrong impression here, but trust me, Dick not coming to meet you before now had nothing whatsoever to do with you and was purely because I never actually told him about you.
Again, cut to Jason, the actual brains of the family at this point in time, staring at Bruce with his mouth hanging open:
“Wait, so you’re telling me that after the two of you had this big fight and you haven’t seen him in like eighteen months, AND after his eighteenth birthday came and went without you bothering to even call him and let him know you still wanted him in your life despite him no longer legally being your ward, AND after you went and took me in and adopted me......you never at any point picked up the phone and said hey kid that I raised and consider family and still want to be part of my family no matter how long its been since we talked......I just thought you should know, given that we’re still family and all, that our family is now bigger, because that’s information that is kinda key to give to people you consider family, as NOT keeping them in that loop could kinda sorta maaaaaaybe give them the impression that you DON’T think of them that way or else you would have thought this was relevant information for them to have?”
Bruce: I’m not sure I see where you’re going with this.
Jason: How are you this dumb. No but seriously. HOW.
Anywho, cut to me, twiddling my thumbs here all super casual like.....
But HMMM, isn’t it WEIRD how fandom, which is totally better than canon, and definitely does not have patience for that unnecessary family angst porn DC is so obsessed with and just wants these goshdarn idiots to be a FAMILY, like......neeeeeeeeever utilizes the transformative power of fanfic and their much more reliable takes on Good Parent Bruce Wayne to like....have Bruce....do something about the problems between past Dick and Jason? In any of these fics? And instead has him just....let the opportunities to make things better for them, AND HIMSELF in the process, just like.....sail away into the rear view mirror, waving a hand at them as they pass, content to let things fester and worsen until cut to after Jason’s return, like.....oh gee, really wish something could have been done about the relationship between Dick and Jason way back when, maybe Jason could have benefited from another close relationship in his life then and maybe Dick might not be as bad off now if he wasn’t burdened with unnecessary guilt over having had human emotions when he was a teenager?
So so SO weird that this angle never comes up or gets tackled in ANY fics that emphasize Dick’s alleged history of being an asshole to Jason and the reason they were never close or barely knew each other. I mean, its such an EASY and OBVIOUS fix to all that, don’t you think?
Unless, of course.....in the fics that make an emphasis of this fandom created dynamic.....its not actually considered a problem to fix at all.
But rather, this manufactured dynamic IS the fix, to what they see as the ACTUAL problem......any kind of real or explored focus on what Bruce actually DID and didn’t do, that caused the resentment they’re all too happy to show Dick nursing, but seem keeeeeeeeenly deft in avoiding any exploration of him FEELING. Except of course when it comes to a reason for him to feel even guiltier BECAUSE of it.
Its almost like we would have had a ton more variety in how fics depict the early years between Dick and Jason, perks of this oh so easily arrived at fix-it angle.....unless those fics were always doing exactly what they intended by keeping every one in the comments sections so busy commenting on what a jerk Dick was in that chapter or in the older events that chapter mentioned, that they just so happen to never really spend much time considering Bruce’s inciting choices back then to be AS worthy of comment or criticism.
Idk you guys, I just happen to find it kinda hilar in that ‘what a weird coeenkeedink kinda way’ that so many of the things a lot of fandom are EXTREMELY loud about holding against Dick (whether Dick did or not actually do those things in the first place)....just so happen to be the very things that most of these same people REFUSE to ever hold Bruce accountable for, or admit that he actually did.
Y’know, like how Bruce never actually fired Dick as Robin, that was just a retcon (when there’s literally been more versions of events where Dick WAS fired than WASN’T at this point).....but meanwhile, Dick very much definitely did FIRE Tim, that was exactly how that went down.
Or how similarly, Bruce neeeeeever actually kicked Dick out, let alone made him give back his keys, but Dick DEFINITELY kicked Tim out of house and Gotham.....even though Dick literally did none of that and in fact was living at the penthouse the whole time he was Batman, meaning Wayne Manor was perfectly available to be Tim’s home base the whole time, if he’d wanted it.
Or how Bruce has never lifted a finger at his eldest, or thrown any kind of a temper tantrum, because he is a good person who would obviously never ever do that, BUT if the son he spent the longest time raising just so HAPPENS to end up with a reputation of having a hair-trigger temper, going off at the drop of a hat, blowing things all out of proportion and lashing out physically whenever he’s overwhelmed emotionally.....well, that certainly has nothing to do with Bruce or anything he’s ever done, lol why would it, BUT its definitely something that needs to be commented on time and time again because it very much did happen all these times in canon, whereas all these times you’re talking about with Bruce are very clearly out of character writing because see, Bruce just isn’t like that, uh doy.
Or how Bruce definitely wasn’t being problematic as hell when it came to his non-interactions with Dick back when Jason was living with him, but Dick’s non-interactions with Jason are 10000x more worthy of comment and criticism. And Dick’s responsibilities towards the emotional wellbeing of the kid he didn’t pick to be his family and wasn’t even actually legally family with at the time, let alone actually obligated to, are definitely the same as Bruce’s responsibilities to the emotional wellbeing of both the kids he did actually pick to be his family and did actually make obligations to. Thus the one is definitely more deserving of a call-out post than the other....wait, what? Dammit, I was SURE my math checked out on that one this time. Well fuck a duck, now I am THOROUGHLY flummoxed by all this.
Yup.....
Just really funny in that lmao ‘actually not at all sorta’ way, how its the extremely PRECISE things that so many fans absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge Bruce ever doing, that they just can’t help but ‘expose’ as a mere retcon, bad writing, ooc behavior, writers just ‘not getting who Bruce Wayne is,’ etc, etc, whenever it does get brought up by other people....
It just so happens to be these very specific things that come up time and time again as the things people just WILL NOT LET GO when it comes to Dick doing them.....even when.....in most cases he didn’t even actually do them! Not because they were ‘mere retcons’ or just ‘bad writing’ or ‘ooc behavior’ or ‘writers just not getting who Dick Grayson is’....but because they literally. Did not. Happen. Until fandom for some reason - ‘despite’ HATING canon for having Bruce do THESE VERY SAME THINGS - put their own interpretative or transformative spin on things and MADE those things happen in such huge numbers that a lot of new fans coming into fandom by way of fics honestly believe that THESE are the canon moments and its the ones attributed to Bruce that are just fans of other characters having their sour grapes moments.
I mean....
You gotta laugh.
Anyway. So I mean, unless I’m just totally reading the room wrong, I’d have to hazard a guess that the only real reason we NEVER see fics addressing things the way I outlined in my earliest examples at the start of this post.....is that a whole lot of fandom just kinda decided over the years that it was just waaaaaay easier to just redirect peoples’ ire at other characters, away from Bruce, than it was to go to the trouble of like....actually ADDRESSING Bruce’s pesky little canon mistakes.
Cuz see....writing a happier, more united Batfam in the years before Jason’s death is only a fix-it fic if the problem you’re fixing is the family’s relationships.....and not ‘Bruce acknowledging - let alone taking ownership of - his mistakes.’ If the latter is the REAL problem, well a more ‘together’ family isn’t something you actually need at all....you just need someone else to pin its divisiness on.
But I digress.
Aaaaaanyway.....now standard stock disclaimer that as I’ve always always always said....I don’t actually hate Bruce nor do I have anything whatsoever against Good Dad Bruce.....my issues are always just with peoples’ approach to his canon mistakes or poor writing being to double down on the problem but just make it someone else’s. And that one little thing where the Smartest Man In The World can come up with a way to fight Doomsday with a paper clip and some chewing gum, but goshdarnnit if he’s not completely helpless and powerless when it comes to fixing his own mistakes or interceding in his childrens’ emotional problems.
(As in by just y’know, parenting them. Sitting them down for a conversation. No, bugging their apartments and calling that his love language doesn’t count.)
Also, an Honorable Mention Pet Peeve goes out to all the fans who love to dismiss Dick Grayson stans raising this issue because ‘this sort of thing happens with all the characters’ when lololololol, no, it really actually does not. Given the weeeeeeeird similarities and parallels in the very specific things we tend to gripe about Bruce doing in canon and others tend to gripe about Dick doing in fanon, like, I’d actually think some of you would be a bit more empathetic about how much it sucks seeing your fave character condemned for stuff like this, given the lengths you go to when avoiding acknowledging Bruce doing it. But then again, that would defeat the point of attributing all that to a Bruce scapegoat instead of a Bruce in the first place, so I mean, I guess not actually.
But whatevs. I guess I’m just not able to grasp the nuances of how people criticizing or even fixating on some of Bruce’s worse actions in canon gains the ire of fans who are like, I am just here rolling my eyes at you guys for being so addicted to your shitty misery porn that you like, just loooooove going with the takes where Bruce is just the worst person ever and a totally shitty dad....
While meanwhile.....many of those exact same fans.....
Two seconds later: Now if you don’t mind, we have to get back to making up scenarios and bad faith interpretations that paint Dick as being just the worst person ever and a totally shitty brother or son. But in a not-that-we’re-addicted-to-shitty-misery-porn kinda way or whatever, because we’re obvs SO not, that’s YOU guys, this is totally different. We don’t LIKE doing this, we’re only doing it because we HAVE to. It has nothing to do with us not actually minding the writing or the content of what’s being written whatsoever, we just don’t like that it makes Bruce look bad, and as long as you keep fixating on how it makes Bruce look like, duh, what other choice do we have but to make someone else look worse instead? When you think about it, this is all your fault, really.
Anyway. You just gotta love the takeaway.
Us: Griping about something Bruce does in canon and how the writers portrayed it and any resulting followup.
Others in Fandom: manufactures a parallel scenario with Bad Brother/Son Dick Grayson out of a single out of context panel, tinfoil and some dental floss.
Fandom: These two situations are the same.
Us: Okay but see they’re really fucking not tho, is the thing....
#its a Friday night gripe#and Im feeling ripe....#wait. no#thats not a thing i take it back guys I promise Im not ripe I bathe Im hygienic#I Swear
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1275
When you were younger, did your mother or father ever let you open a few presents before Christmas or your birthday even arrived?
We open all our presents the night of Christmas Eve to begin with; but no, they don’t tease by letting us open a few of them before our usual schedule.
If you could receive a 100 dollar gift card for either blouses, pants, dresses, shoes or purses, which would you chose?
If I could change blouses to shirts, then I would go with that because I’ve recently gotten into t-shirts and sweatshirts and no longer the trendy and preppy tops I used to like haha. But if not, I would go for shoes.
What is your favorite thing to do after crying? Ex: Sleep, listen to music, have some alone time, talk to someone, etc?
It varies as it depends on how much I cried. The harder I cried the more I’d want to sleep it off, because it can actually get pretty exhausting. Sometimes I’ll reach out, sometimes I write. It’s really different every time, but at the end I’m just glad I can no longer even remember the last time I cried out of sadness.
Do you think Trump will be assassinated, or will he survive his term?
Well we know the answer to this. It’s satisfying to notice him disappear off the face of the Earth immediately after his term, though. I don’t have a clue what he’s up to now.
Last time you felt suicidal?
For some reason I felt down last Thursday and I felt the slightest, slightest tinge of suicidal thoughts. No idea where it came from.
Last time you had butterflies?
Ugh idk but it was probably BTS-related hahahahahahah
Biggest asshole you know?
Certain politicians.
Did you ever leave someone because you know you’d hurt them?
No, I was on the opposite side of the coin for this one. I was broken up with because they believed they would hurt me, if not already doing so.
What song did you last listen to?
Hip Hop Phile by BTS.
Ever ridden in a police car?
Nopes.
Ever witnessed a murder?
Hmm, not that I can recall. I do remember having to monitor crime stories for one of my very first journalism assignments and the one time I didn’t tag along to the fieldwork with my classmates, they got to witness a stabbing incident :/ By itself of course it always sucks to have violent situations like those, but as a reporter it would’ve been interesting to see the scene and its aftermath.
Have you ever lied under oath?
I don’t think so, no. I can’t even remember the last time I was put under oath.
Have you ever failed a subject before?
I’ve failed exams but never an entire class.
Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet?
No.
Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender?
Well yeah, I dated one.
Have you ever been in a hot tub before?
Sure.
Have you ever been to a movie that sold out?
I’ve never experienced trying to buy tickets only to find out they’re all sold out, but that’s also probably because we have hundreds of malls in Manila alone and you can always find a theatre that are still offering tickets.
What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep?
I’m not usually that way with horror movies, but I do remember running into a jumpscare on TikTok while I was scrolling at 3 AM. Not fun.
When you’re on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad?
Touchpad. I never use a mouse.
What’s your mom’s mom’s name?
Agnes.
Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the person you like?
I’m not interested in anyone so this shouldn’t be a problem.
Have you ever been tempted to steal?
Sure, but the urge is never so strong.
What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading?
I’m not reading anything.
Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they?
Nah. I did have a Ben&Ben phase, though I haven’t revisited their music in a long time.
Who’s the last person you saw naked, aside from yourself?
I’m not sure about completely naked, probably still my ex. As for partially naked, my dad sometimes goes shirtless at home as most Filipino dads do lol.
Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer?
The most iconic for me would be that porcupine looking ass from Resident Evil 4, I believe it was meant to be for one of the boss stages or something. Anyway, it’s memorable for me just because that fucker had been impossible to defeat and I loved watching my older cousin do attempt after attempt. I don’t think he ever got to beat him and by the time he did us cousins were already adults, lol.
On a side note, we called him ‘Porcupine’ as kids since a shitload of spikes would stick out of him unpredictably during the boss stage, and I thought that nickname had been just our thing; but I’m actually surprised that that villain actually comes up when you do a simple ‘Resident Evil 4 porcupine’ search haha. I guess other people called him the same thing too.
What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving?
I usually put on a playlist of BTS’ rapline; I tend to enjoy high-energy songs while driving.
Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog?
I don’t see why I wouldn’t when it comes to the dog. I don’t want a cat or rat.
All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with?
G.
What did you and your ex fight about most?
It was about the deeper, more profound stuff. We never saw eye to eye about the future, if we were helping the other grow, etc. Someone was always scared or insecure about something that the other could never help with fixing.
Don’t you love long hugs?
Sure, I love getting hugs as long as I’m comfy around the one giving it.
And long kisses?
Mhm, they’re nice.
Have you ever purchased condoms?
Only for Angela when she had still been too shy to ask for it herself.
Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
No. We had gone out of town for daytrips, but never for a fully-decked out vacation.
Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument?
I wouldn’t do anything that loud. My resentment’s a lot more reserved and subtle, definitely on the passive-aggressive side.
Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it?
If I left like a paint scratch, no. If I was somehow stupid enough to manage wrecking the car then yes.
Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot?
Oh that’s just gross. No. I do remember unknowingly parking over a spot meant for the handicapped once just because the paint was so fucking faded. It was genuinely so hard to tell but in the end I ended up just getting out of the spot and looked for another just to be on the safe, unassholey side.
Are you embarrassed to tell people your job?
Not at all! I love telling people I work in PR and sharing the brands I work with...it’s just a bitch trying to explain what exactly it is I do on a normal day. I’m still blanking out on it now that I’m thinking about it, haha. PR’s a challenge to summarize in one or two sentences.
If you ran over an animal would you keep driving?
I honestly have no clue how I’d deal with it. Ideally I would pull over and help bring it to the side of the road, and try to ask for help from passersby as well. I’m still not sure what I should/would do next.
Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
French, Spanish, and Italian restaurants always seem to carry a pleasant, date-y atmosphere to them, so any of those cuisines should be ok. I also like quieter restaurants with warm yellow lighting, since that makes me feel at home the most. The place definitely doesn't have to be super popular; I would just want for it to serve good food.
What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?
Flying planes.
What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?
Probably something that’s booked with thrill-seeking adventures? Like a day of wakeboarding, paragliding, skydiving, riding an ATV...I would be exhausted as fuck and sleep for the next three days, but I can’t even begin to imagine how fun it would be.
When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?
Writing stuff. < Yeah, essentially. My friends ask me for general life advice too.
Has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?
Yeah. But I always defended her.
Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?
I mean I’ve written long letters, but I haven’t made a poem or song for anyone.
Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?
These days it would probably be Arlan. He just finished his Masters in Journalism at Columbia and I couldn’t be more proud. I remember wanting to attend Columbia too, but seeing how my love of journalism turned out...I’ve long accepted the fact that that route was not meant for me, hahaha.
What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
Finish a painting, which can also serve as a callout to me lol.
What would you rate 10/10?
Seafood.
What do you hope never changes?
My relationships with my best friends.
Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?
No, I barely have a clue who she is and she seemed decades older when she called me up this morning.
Is there anyone that you’d love to just spill your guts to?
I’m good.
Where is the person you have feelings at right now?
Are you happy with your relationship status?
Yessssssss. I love not having to worry about another person to spend on LOL
When did you last cry? What for?
Two Saturdays ago. The one-year mark of my breakup had been coming up and an overwhelming wave of emotions just flooded me all of a sudden, I guess. There was happiness and relief from not being stuck in it anymore; feeling sorry for myself as I remembered the turmoil and deterioration I went through in the latter part the year; anger for the shit she pulled; and there was also just the general feeling of being grateful that I’m still here after everything.
Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you love?
When’s the next time you’ll kiss someone?
No clue. I’m not holding my breath for it and that’s okay.
Were you ever scared to death of anyone you knew? Or are you currently?
Yeah, unfortunately I’ve always been surrounded by at least one person who terrifies me.
What’s the longest you’ve been away from home by yourself?
Nothing more than a day. That’s something I have yet to try out.
Have you ever been made fun of, because of what you look like?
Athenna was relentless in her insults. I dunno why I was friends her for as long as I was.
Have you ever made fun of others, because of what they look like?
If they’re some random person on the internet with disgusting political views, then yeah; but it’s just thoughts I keep in my head and I never verbalized the bullying. But not anyone in real life.
Do you think it’s cute when you’re leaving a place, and a guy says “no hug?”
If I’m friends with the person I’ll banter with them for a bit until I give in for a hug. If it was any other guy I barely know...I would be disgusted and throw them the dirtiest glare.
Do you wear short shorts (if you’re a girl)?
I didn't know short shorts were specific to females. < LOL same. Anyway no, not these days. I used to but they’re not really a part of my personal style anymore.
Who are you the most uncomfortable around?
Relatives with the wrong political views.
Who has your heart?
Nobody.
Should cloning ever be allowed to happen?
I don’t see the point. No.
Are you impatient with really shy people?
If it gets to the point that they seem aloof and radiate very I-could-not-care-less-about-getting-along-with-any-of-you vibes, then yeah I feel like I would get irritated pretty fast. But I was an extremely shy person once too, so I’m typically friendly with them and I would usually be That person who constantly stays next to them so they feel like they belong.
Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window?
It sits in the window, as with most households here.
What is the most ridiculous band name you’ve heard recently?
I haven’t encountered anything wacky recently.
Would you ever get a fashion mullet?
No.
Do you believe that Jesus lived and is returning?
No.
Do you believe in spiritual gifts?
No.
Do you believe in callings?
Not really, no.
If you were rich, would you get a professional photoshoot done?
Hell no. I get extremely sheepish in front of a camera and a thousand times worse at posing.
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ok so literally nobody asked for this but ever since I made this post my thoughts have been consumed with the relationship between Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos, so have a big rambly mess under the cut
(disclaimer, I don’t view the nations as geopolitical entities or direct representations so much as representatives of their people. so they’re impacted by politics and governments but they’re also their own people with personalities, relationships, lives etc. like Being A Nation is a big part of their lives, obvious as it may seem. so their strongest ties are to their people, their culture, and their nation status. and I believe they have their people’s best interests at heart, and that’s over everything else, including ideology... which is a really big part of any discussions of 20th century southeast asia. I think things were different in the past, but as nations wised up and the world began to change, they’ve kind of let go of associating too closely with govts.)
gosh okay so. these three grew up with each other; Vietnam is the oldest and usually was the one in charge. back in the days when they were younger, pre-colonialism and before they were all kingdoms, they weren’t the closest? Cambodia was kinda distant from all of them and working on his own stuff, Laos was the youngest and really leaning on Thailand for guidance at the beginning, Vietnam was also focused on doing her own thing and struggling against China. as they became kingdoms they started having clashes, border disputes, that kinda stuff— idk, I think that kind of “all my neighbors are my enemies” dynamic was pretty common, and so it wasn’t anything super deep between them. there was definitely some resentment toward Vietnam for being the bigger power, though
there was a period of prosperity, and Laos started to rely on Vietnam more... and then colonization happened, and suddenly they were all shoved into one thing as French Indochina. Laos, still the youngest, ended up relying even more on Vietnam, who was still the main player of the group. Cambodia felt even more alienated from them (and resentful toward Vietnam, for what he perceived as taking the position as the dominant one throughout their history, along with having the most favor with France). however colonialism began to really take its toll on all of them, and as WWII began and Indochina came under Japanese control, I think these uneasy dynamics fell apart between them. they all acutely felt the traumas of having many starkly divided groups within themselves, the horrors of colonization, the machinations of ideology... I think there was a breaking point of sorts during/after this period (as their people endured brutalization at the hands of their govts) where these 3 reached out to each other as their bodies/nations started to be figuratively/literally torn apart.
and idk like I said I don’t personally hc most nations as fallible to ideology. at least not in the 20th century... they can be deluded, they can buy into it, they can go along with things, but it’s all for their people first and foremost. they don’t truly believe in anything like that anymore. (well, with the exception of America, but he’s young.) and I guess I also hc that they became pretty powerless within a govt context, and that the govt can’t really do much about or with them. anyways yea I think at that point they started to drift away from going with their governments, letting go of rivalry on a personal level. their govts hate each other, but they band together.
but so much shit happened throughout the 60s and 70s... and I think as their governments began to really harm their people, drive each other apart, civil wars raging, etc they continued to seek each other out. I think Cambodia especially felt a lot of pain when his government took a fiercely anti-Vietnam stance, like it was some kind of dark fulfillment of his anger against her from all those years ago, and now he had to pay for that. Laos also had conflicting feelings about Vietnam, seeing as her government was also following her lead of relying on Vietnam in the past, except now it was just contributing to the conflicts going on. the events of this time must have made them feel so incredibly alone— and so whenever they met each other I think they really just. understood each other without words. when Vietnam struggles to stand up, when she can’t hold her chopsticks without dropping them, they understand, because they’ve been through civil war too and they know the toll it takes. when Cambodia is in too much pain to move, they understand, because they’ve been through their governments directly harming and killing their people, and they know what that feels like. like... they just understand each other now. every day is more trauma and pain as their governments are at each other’s throats, and they have to somehow reconcile govt and people and their own personal feelings.
when the khmer rouge is finally deposed of (by Vietnamese forces) it seems like it’ll be a turning point— but there’s just more and more turmoil, and I think they kinda drifted apart again in this period. Cambodia was thankful but quickly became bitter about the Vietnamese presence in his country... I think they were all just. exhausted at this point. the worst of the worst has passed but there’s still so much suffering. however as the years pass and they get into the ‘90s and ‘00s, their countries and economies begin to do better, and they can finally breathe for just a moment and begin to process all of the trauma of the previous century. (rather than just, well, shoving it away because staying alive is more important rn.) ofc there are still plenty of problems. and so they seek each others company when things are feeling off, when old wounds resurface, or when shitty things are happening with their govts. like I’m thinking abt how Laos has a nervous breakdown when they’re clearing unexploded ordnance (bombs etc) from some of her cultural heritage sites bc it’s just... overwhelming and awful how scarred her people have become from this legacy of war. and Cambodia and Vietnam are there for her throughout the whole thing, they listen to her, they feed her, they sit with her so she doesn’t have to be alone. because she’s not. they know exactly what she’s feeling, they also acutely feel that pain of lives and culture lost to war.
nowadays, things are easier between them, and they seem like chill work acquaintances to most people. I think they often stick to their own friends or stay in big groups in public situations? like they’re friends in a smaller, private context, and not many people will get to see that other side of them. when they do get together, they just... exist together. sometimes one of them is upset about something and the others are there to listen. on dates like black april for example they’ll often make a ton of food and put on corny old pop music and just Be without fear of judgment or people not understanding. also I’d imagine Vietnam sometimes puts on Paris By Night or other stuff made by her diaspora about her traumas, and they talk about those individuals’ small efforts to share their own feelings, the impacts of their traumas as nations on said human individuals. idk I think they really have helped each other a lot via discussions like that, and just by supporting each other in general. lots of quiet listening and Just Being There here. they don’t say it, but they care a lot, and if they can ease each other’s pain just a little bit it’s all okay.
anyways jesus fuck that was long and I have so many emotions about them. I have fr just made up a whole thing in my brain and I will keep thinking about this. but thanks for reading this far and feel free to tell me what u think... yea
#hetalia#hws vietnam#hws laos#hws cambodia#my thoughts#also next chapter of ghlr is coming tomorrow lol#ive just been... Thinking#lies down and cries#i just like#found family ya know#silent stoic support#YEAH... YEA#oh and if u wanna hear more abt cambodia lmk#i am slowly fleshing him out in my brain so#oml i rly spent an hour just vomiting this out... its 1am.... huh
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helloo! :) for character analysis,, maybe a comparison between elizabeth, kaitlyn, and zoe’s annleigh? that or literally anything about farrah because i just love her a lot fjdkdjs
fljksjfkdj thank you so much for this and sorry it’s so late!!!!! Annleigh (& her and Farrah’s dynamic) is my absolute fave to analyze and the timing is so perfect because I have so many thoughts I need to get out about recent canon
Note: this was written over the span of about a week and isn’t proofread so may be a bit incoherent or repetitive at times
(under the cut!! TW for brief mentions of alcohol, death, a lot of neglect, and abuse)
Ok so for a starter about Annleigh in the script: I initially disliked her for her brittleness - she’s very bright and peppy and shiny with quite hard exterior (her treatment of Farrah, etc), which breaks open quite a few times in the show. I’ve definitely grown to like her a lot more over the past few months, but the little bit of backstory we’ve gotten softens her slightly and gives her a lot more depth, which I love.
Something interesting I learned a few weeks ago when reading an interview with Preston is that he said over the drafts of the script, Farrah has changed the most and Annleigh has changed the least, but considering how different the Annleigh portrayals I’ve heard are, that probably means a lot of Annleigh’s characterization relies on playing off of Farrah. For example, a very vocal, bitter, angsty, emo Janet!Farrah who isn’t afraid of her addiction is balanced out by a very warm, more subdued, but extremely open Elizabeth!Annleigh who’s much less “feral” and more “lovesick teenager” (and as @letalloursingingfollowhim pointed out, it wouldn’t be surprising if the roles were reversed and Annleigh was the one who actively tried to form a relationship with Farrah but Farrah was the one to push her away because she’d rather go through all the hurt alone) whereas off-bway’s Farrahs are both much softer, more insecure, and trying as hard as they can to fit in balanced out by very blunt, energetic and soft yet brittle Annleighs. I would say Janet!Farrah is probably trying to distance herself from Elizabeth!Annleigh’s “perfect” persona because she doesn’t want to be associated with any of that and wants to break away from her family, especially assuming she comes from a family of abuse and alcohol overuse (and her drinking stems from a lot of that before she and Annleigh even met, while off-bway Farrah’s seems to be more recent and stem from loneliness and rejection), Caroline!Farrah feels like she’ll never meet Zoe!Annleigh’s standards for her and thinks she’ll be loved more if she does, and Zoe!Farrah is convinced that she has to keep trying because it’s not her constant mess-ups that make Kaitlyn!Annleigh “hate” her, it’s her dislike as a person and exasperation with responsibility, so if she just shows enough love she’ll finally feel enough. I’d also say that with both J&E and C&Z, Annleigh does feel like the older sister role (because canon) but the two don’t actually have much of an age gap (this could superficial because of height stuff and vibes, etc), but with Z&K, Farrah definitely feels at least a year younger and seems a little scared of Annleigh. While E!Annleigh is a little overwhelmed by J!Farrah, she does want to help her, but she’s not in the right mental place to do so because she’s still trying to move on from the loss of her dad - but she doesn’t blame that on Farrah - compared to K!Annleigh, who kind of uses anger to cope with the fact that she’s hurting inside and projects that all onto Farrah. She’s not ready to accept that she has a sister because doing so would be accepting who she’s lost and how her life has changed and can’t go back, because thinking about that would break away her “perfect” facade. And I think Zoe!Farrah knows this, a little, and wants to help if Annleigh would only let her in but doesn’t know what to say or do, but instead she pushes her out because she sees her as someone looking for trouble and taking away her emotional energy. I see Zoe!Annleigh not really having any strong resentment towards Caroline!Farrah, really just not understanding her, pointing towards an effort to keep their lives separate and an “I will look forward and pretend my problems don’t exist because that’s how my world works or it crumbles since I’m the perfect child in my family and teachers’ eyes” attitude, and Caroline!Farrah thinks that’s her fault, but Annleigh doesn’t really get what she’s doing wrong or how she’s hurting her. Watching the concert, I don’t have much to judge Elizabeth!Annleigh by (I would love to see her perform Move On, though), but I think she’d start off in complete and total denial (not even Kaitlyn!Annleigh’s “Clark and Farrah deserved it” but just refuse to even mention Farrah) and then unraveling to a complete mess because she’s heartbroken that she’s now alone and never got to have a relationship with her step-sister. On the flip side, Kaitlyn!Annleigh’s denial seems very anger-centered because she needs a reason not to grieve - she definitely has a little survivor’s guilt, but she’s not going to admit that she misses Farrah until she feels actively threatened (IDK) and her emotions in Move On seem very concentrated, like it’s years of bottled up trauma that she never fully let loose but she’s doing it now because she has no one left to lean on. A mix of the two, Zoe!Annleigh’s very quiet and I guess… “trembling” is the best word? during Move On like she just has no idea what to do because she’s lost everyone who cared about her and no one seems to get it, and she definitely doesn’t seem to believe what she’s saying about Farrah and Clark being punished, etc. (Also, quickly acknowledging the “you pray to god and wonder if he’s there” line in Phoenix - that’s SO SAD?!?? Annleigh’s faith is her one firm belief she’s held no matter what, the one thing she’s confident in despite her peers’ comments on it, and probably the primary thing she used to cope with her father’s death - and NOW, after losing her sister and boyfriend [the two people who would listen to her and get her through a rough year], she’s doubting the beliefs she used to lean on like a crutch? Poor girl please please give her a hug)
I have quite a few more thoughts but I’ve forgotten most of them so I’m gonna post this now and edit them in later - hope this was ok!! (It was mainly an Annleigh ramble/cheer stepsisters dissection I’m going to do a full individual analysis of each and go deeper into Farrah but for another time) Anyway thank you so much for this!!
#we are the tigers#annleigh o'daniel#farrah watt#cheer stepsisters#analysis#to be edited#kaitlyn frank#elizabeth judd#zoe jensen#janet krupin#caroline lellouche#alcohol tw#neglect tw#death tw#abuse tw
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please bless me with all of your dbd headcanons even just a crumb would satisfy me,,,,, lmao. Fr tho ur hcs are godly pls give me all of them especially for og 4 and wraif
Thank you!! I’m glad you like my hot takes!
Let’s see, og4.
Jake grows facial hair pretty easy (that part is just canon). Usually he either lets it grow and ignores it till it gets long, or stays cleanshaven, but the in-between stage is physically painful for everyone else at the campfire bc you wake up and see rugged 2day scruffy woodsman stretch and he sees you staring and goes, “What?” Looking thoroughly unimpressed and Meg sheds a tear and Claudette pretends to not be looking and stares at her journal and Dwight gets heart palpitations it’s just bad for the whole group. When he shaves he’s an edgy dumbass and does it with a sharpened hunk of metal he made into a knife for himself and Dwight saw him shaving once and had to go sit down.
Jake has a soft spot for many of the survivors he’s known longer (honestly at this point, he’s pretty attached to the lot of them though), but especially the ones who work really hard at protecting other survivors. Double points if you’re younger than him. He would kill for Claudette, and take a bullet meant for Quentin, but would not convey this to them at all. Jake puts almost zero effort into making sure people knows he likes them. The people he has a soft spot for especially are also not always the ones he prefers to spend time with. While they’re survivors he spends less time with personally, Jake respects Feng Min for being the snarky little gremlin she is, and Tapp’s dedication to his job even here. Weirdly, while the people he likes often aren’t aware of affection, the ones he respects but isn’t as close to usually are aware of the respect. Jake also thinks he doesn’t like having friends and spending time not alone, but he does.
If asked point blank his thoughts on a survivor he likes, he’d probably just shrug or say, “They contribute to the team,” or “She works hard,” or “He’s fine,” because Jake just be like that. He had a hard time getting close to anyone initially because of how he grew up. Jake’s very guarded. He’s used to people manipulating and using each other, which makes keeping anything vulnerable close to his chest just necessary as he sees it. Boy doesn’t trust easy. Or open up. Ya need a can opener. Boy also does not like getting pushed around. Least favorite killers (aside from Nightmare) are probably Doctor and Ghostface, because he cannot stand being forced to do things or used. He’d rather take a chainsaw to the back than have someone lord power over him. He’s also got a looong memory, so if you fuck him over, he is not the kind to forget and forgive. He is the kind to resent and remember. Not that he never forgives people, but boy would have to really believe whatever happened was regretted and the person wasn’t like that anymore to let something that made him very angry go. He’s quiet angry though. Bide your time and get vengeance kinda angry. Would never let someone push him around. If a killer tried to fuck with him, he’d do everything in his power to kill them.
While Jake is tough and likes to hike just to be out and moving, and enjoys toughing it out, Meg enjoys being outside more as a fun thing than a wildnerness lifestyle thing. She has a lot of energy, and even in the realm, all that adhd can be a bitch. It would be easy to focus on the shitty stuff happening and drown in that, so she likes to keep moving, like she has since she was a kid and started running. Meg loves hard, and if she cares about you, she’ll make sure you know it. Not good at shutting up or realizing if she’s been going on for too long, girl has passion for everything.
Meg talks a big game, but does not have as much confidence as she pretends to have. She has abandonment issues, but they’re less, ‘my dad abandoned me’ and more ‘everyone but my mom, from him to grade school friends, hasn’t stuck around,’ so she does worry about that and coming on too strong, which she is aware she often does, but she can’t get herself to turn down the power settings on herself even when she tries. She’s never been good at making friends, so all of this in the realm is kinda new to her, since no one can leave. Meg would tell almost no one those things about herself. She cares hard though, and will try to distract other people from realm despair any way she can, because it’s what she needs and she assumes what they must need too. And to be fair, she ain’t wrong. Good at cultivating activities and drinks loving her friends juice.
Big goofball. BIG goofball. Also big gay. Well, bi af, but w a pretty strong preference for the ladies. She is simple of heart. Sees a girl, loses ability to think. Bonded with Nea over this problem. High int, low wisdom, big dumbass. Her weaknesses include girls’ eyes, voices, accents, freckles, scars, stomachs, legs, ass, titties, hair, hair dye, laughs, hands, eye contact, and cute accessories. Not great at expressing her feelings when she catches them, but tries hard. Actually pretty good at romancing once she gets into the groove. It’s just getting there she sucks at. Loyal as hell. Will go to bat for her friends and would rather die than betray them.
Meg has a real temper, especially when she feels like something being done to her or someone else is unjust/unfair, and will always try to fix those things even when it’s hopeless. Can and will weaponize her anger extremely effectively. Ridiculous memory for pop culture, shit memory for homework and things she was supposed to be doing. Memelord, but with some class.
Idk if this is because I identified with Claudette really strongly when I first started playing dbd or not, but I have always seen her as Asexual & Panromantic. Attracted to kindness.
She gets overwhelmed fairly easily, but has been improving that by necessity since arriving in the realm, and can tap into the mom-friend override to fix problems for people who aren’t her. Has a hard time telling when people are teasing her/joking, but everyone knows this so they take it easier on her than each other.
Like Meg, had no friends before this, so it’s exciting and new, and a little scary, but mostly really good. She worries about other people a lot, and doesn’t always know how to help, but she tries. Very relieved Dwight volunteered to be team leader.
Enjoys recording things and studying. Would be fascinated by the Entity’s world if she wasn’t always being killed. Seems small and weak and easy to take down, but she has the strength of will to kill God herself if backed into a corner, especially when fighting for someone she loves. Sweet does not mean she will not fight back, and since being in the realm, and getting over her initial freezing up at the sight of horrifying murderers, she has worked extremely hard to be brave and take an active roll protecting people whenever she can. She is still terrified a lot, but has learned to push through that to help her friends and herself.
Loves animals, including ones a lot of people don’t like (bugs, snakes, rats, etc) and would and has definitely tried to snag a scorpion and a cockroach from trials to study before, and tried to befriend the realm rats now that they exist. Tries to get Jake to show her how to get birds to like you but does know how to ask him right.
Nervous about interpersonal relationships and unsure of herself. Really likes everyone but horrible at telling how other people feel. Feels like she always comes off wrong and can’t put words to things well even when she understands them super well. Does her best 24/7. Incredibly smart and talented. Knowledgeable about her passions. Is always thinking 4th dimensionally and has saved the team many a time by pulling off wild bullshit that makes sense kind of just barely but no one else would have thought of.
Dwight was a loser and kind of a douche growing up, kind of selfish and entitled and weak, but is no longer that person after a few years in the realm. He works hard to make good on his promises to look out for everyone, and cares about them very genuinely. Great at thinking on his feet and sounding like he knows more than he does, wonderful at regulating tasks to people efficiently, and not a bad strategist.
Being the kind of person now who would not have liked the person he was a few years ago causes a little cognitive dissonance and self-doubt, but he’s trying. Genuinely enjoys hearing about people’s days and interests even when he’s completely lost.
Not a fan of heights. If the fear of heights was not vastly overpowered by fear of sharp object, he would actively avoid the old ironworks in trials, but alas.
Used to play video games a lot. Thought he was good at them. Was not. Was definitely not.
Self-improvement king. Works hard and is a really decent dude. A very good sport. Used to be an asshole, so now that he’s nice he’s pretty damn forgiving if other people put in the work to improve too (my boy’s no hypocrite). Has mellowed out a lot and is pretty chill and nice but the damn fool will break his own heart by taking things people say the wrong way, or things they mean as a joke literally, if it’s something he thinks is true about himself, and will totally miss context and vocal inflection and just be like, “I know but I’m trying TuT.”
Big gay but in denial and confused
Just at this point really does want people to get to go home and be ok. Loves hearing stories and listening to his friends talk at the campfire because it makes him feel like things might be okay. Get the same result just by being near his friends, especially the other og3 who have been with him forever. If they’re all still there, things have to turn out okay someday. :’ ) Has never really told them that, because he’s supposed to be the leader, and thinks they’d feel less secure if they knew he depends on being able to sleep close to them at night to feel like he’ll be okay himself. Not in a they’d judge me way, but in a I really don’t want to let them down way. He wants them to think he’s got a handle on things even when he really doesn’t.
I was gonna do Philip too but I got this this morning and this post is already ridiculously long TuT, so here you go. Plus one mini Philip one.
Philip feels responsible for the young man he saw his boss kill the day the Entity got him. He knows that he killed scores of people unknowingly for Azarov, and those weigh, but he thinks sometimes late at night that if he could have just saved that one, it might have been enough to make him feel absolved someday for all the other deaths on his head. He remembers his face very well, and how terrified he was, and the moment of confusion and relief, and almost gratefulness when Philip let him go. He thinks over and over that if he’d just talked to him–assumed something was up, and gotten him to be quiet. Seen Azarov in time and stopped him. So many little things, and the young man would have lived. Even if the others were things he was completely blind to, he feels like that one is especially his fault, and that he could have stopped it. That one really haunts him.
#long post#dead by daylight#dbd#Philip Ojomo#Dwight Fairfield#Jake Park#Claudette Morel#Meg Thomas#I love doing these but I have like 6000 headcanons and I'm not good at picking one TuT I'm happy to do more but please help me give me an#area to focus on I'm dyin' scoob I'm boo boo the fool#Too many thoughts head full#the wraith#ask#anonymous#In Living Memory#In Living Memory (fic)
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thinking more if my funny little rewrite thoughts so like. here's an entire run down of what I'd do with season 1 of my pride
under the cut cuz its long and like. warning for like. everything that already happens in the series anyway
starting first! with the naming conventions. so the whole naming scheme is appropriation of indigenous culture. and I'm white so take this one with a grain of salt but replacing that mess with instead the mother naming the cub after a trait after getting to know em would. probably fix it? Like naming a cub Power or Tenacious and. stuff
the names could not only be personality based but just general descriptors. Quick for someone fast, Golden for someone blonde, Cherished for someone especially loved by their mother. Names could also be based off something they want the child to be, like Fearless or Perceptive. naming a child after something they don't start as, but turn out to be instead would make everyone to regard the mother as an especially good one for knowing her child so well. Being wrong would have the opposite effect. Waiting too long would bring scorn, implying you don't spend enough time with your child to think of any name at all.
Prideless lions wouldn't be named by their parents at all, instead given the right to name themselves based on what they think. This leaves room for them to rename themselves as grow and change, something pride lions cant do. Until the cub names themselves, the mother will refer to them with affectionate nickname.
and I think that. fixes that issue. onto plot
I think episode 1 is fine left alone, though all three children would be left unnamed. though I think its weird how quick managed to rip off the skin all around nothing's eye but didn't actually damage it. Like at all. so she's half blind now too.
So they go on lion trial, power saying quick is unfit because he was bested by a cub, so there's no way he could've beat star fairly. sharp calls forth the currently unnamed fire to ask his opinion as a supposed witness. even though I'm pretty sure he ran away before star died? eh <3
despite having the chance to get rid of quick, he says it was fair and quick has earned the pride. whether or not that's true, fire is a devout believer in pride law and a pride without a mane would be worse than a pride lead by a cheating mane.
because nothing and quick each half blinded each other, they go with the law of equivalent exchange. one each gets something from the other. nothing asks for her and her brother's lives to spared, and quick asks that she always takes as little resources as possible
instead of like. skipping 2 years. it would instead actually like. show the childhood. how nothing is ignored by her on mother, and doted on by fire. specifically because he think she's weak. despite doting on her, he also generally ignores her opinions.
even as a little wounded baby she gets the least food and water, enforced by quick and even fire sometimes, rules are rules. some of the unnamed adults will try to cheat this tho and get her more food and water cuz Holy Shit? Dude?
when she's a little older and not. covered in open wounds. the adults more or less stop trying to protect her. she's on her own now, and they have cubs of their own to worry about anyways.
since time is also a resource she gets the least of that too, most notably the least time being trained in anything. hunting, fighting, tracking, she's taught the absolute least.
despite that, she always tries.to do the absolute most. first to volunteer for anything she could theoretically do, last to get picked for any minorly important task. getting ridiculed for doing things slower due to her limp, to the point where she starts trying to just power through the pain to walk normally. it only slows her down and she gets mocked more. fire generally doesn't stand up for her, just makes her lay down
eventually she starts getting out a bit. The younger cubs mock her, their parents don't stop them, her mom never speaks to her unless its to antagonize her, and quick is downright terrifying. despite being healed up, fire never leaves her alone and disregards her when she wants to be alone.
this is how she meets hover, who is now named insightful. bc I just inexplicably cant stand the name Hover for a lion. she thinks she's insightful, but she's kind of just snarky and a little mean without saying anything w real depth, probably bc they're all prepubescent
despite being snarky and a little mean, she's a breath of fresh air to nothing cuz she's yk. not ableist and calls fire out when he starts acting ableist. its a short interaction, and when they're home fire immediately goes to tell his mom there's not only a prideless lion in their territory, but a cub, implying her mother and possibly siblings are around. cuz he's a little bitch
nothing gets into an argument with him over it, she could've been their friend after all, and both fire and her mom yell at her for even thinking about disobeying pride law
not sure what else to do here, so skip to when they're 2 and fires about to be kicked out. they're both still nameless, bringing a lot of bad opinions power's way. she's also required to name at least fire before he leaves. so she sits down, rolls her eyes, and half asses the name fire. quick is about to push him out but nothing interrupts, saying she still needs a name.
power gets annoyed and demands what she could even be named after, her injury? her disregard for the law? her ability to butt in at the most annoying times? nothing sputters, shocked and unable to come up with a response for a moment. before she can, she's named nothing
she protests, and even fire thinks that's a lot. they're both shut down, by power and quick respectively. most of the present adults are shocked, some of the older ones even appalled. none step in though. fire has to go, and nothing leaves toward the watering holes so she doesn't cry in front of her mom. all that stupid shit is internalized though so she starts trying again to support her full weight on her leg no matter how much it hurts. thinking maybe it broke and healed so wrong that it can barely support her now. idk I'm no doctor
she ends up laying down by the water, feeling all bad and in pain. then she notices the crocodile and some other lion and yada yada saves her life. insightful immediately recognizes her and that stops nothing from chasing her off. they catch up a little until they hear someone coming. insightful runs off and farleap, now called jumper comes out of the grass.
she questions nothing, she heard something and she can definitely smell a stranger. nothing lies and said she just chased off a prideless. jumper doesn't seem convinced, but doesn't push it because the stranger is gone, at least. so she just gets her drink and nothing goes home. and that's the day.
next day we can be introduced to feather, now named light. he's the runt of his litter, the lightest color of his siblings, and the light of my life. his name has nothing to do with the reincarnation stuff, which ill get into later. he gets teased for being smaller than his sisters, but keeps up an over energetic, happy mood that children have. he prefers hanging out with nothing though, seeing as she's not gonna be mean to him for being short.
he refuses to leave her alone to the point of finding out when nothing starts sneaking out to see insightful. their little dates go all nice and cute until light jumps out of the bushes scaring the life out of them. nothing freaks out a little because holy fuck? quick's son just found her out? oh god oh fuck! insightful is just amused though, because children are funny.
they make light swear to keep it a secret, and he promises. as long as nothing lets him go with her whenever he wants, because its fun breaking the rules and being out at night. it's a little less fun third wheeling on your cousin's date when you're like 7 but its fine cuz insightful plays with him
everyone thinks its pretty weird how both nothing and light are getting exhausted in the middle of the day, and jumper is still on that "I don't believe that you chased that prideless off" stuff, and eventually convinces power of increasing like patrol or whatever, and everyone keeps their guard up, making it harder for nothing and insightful to meet
this spurs nothing to ask insightful to join, to which insightful asks her to leave the prides and go with her. nothing says she doesn't want insightful to just have to take care of her and it goes back and forth and its a whole thing. it turns into an argument and they part ways for the night before it can escalate further.
the next morning, insightful has shown up and is asking to join. mostly so she can spend more time trying to convince nothing to leave the prides with her.
they get convinced and she is stripped of her name immediately. either quick or power will rename her when they come with something suitable. of course she is. upset as all hell. she swallows it though, since she's never seen nothing so happy. light is ecstatic, also, cuz he thinks she is cool.
go through some time showing insightful being worn down by pride life, nothing still continuing to practically destroy her body to make herself palatable, and light being downright bullied because he's still smaller than his everyone his age. quick even starts looking down on his son cuz Why Is He Still So Small? light begins to resent his father, and pride life a little.
jumper is rude as hell, naturally. except this time insightful actually stands up for nothing by cuz holy shit? that's your girlfriend why wouldn't you help her?
we can also implement the homophobia rule here. because of course power is a homophobe. would you expect anything less??
and yeah that's the vibe until nothing is left with some unnamed lion to look after the children while everyone else is off doing things that are important. she goes off for a drink and light follows her because of course he does. yadda yadda fire is back for a visit cuz he thinks nothing is like. useless and can't survive without him. their little visit goes down light thinks its so cool to meet a bunch of prideless men yk yk
on their way back they run into quick, who is followed by power and insightful. that unnamed lion with the other children said nothing and light had been gone for a long time and quick is pissed off cuz that's his only son n she just took him off for a jaunt.
he's yelling at her and insightful is about to interject before she's stopped by power, and light interrupts his dad to tell him about fire's group. cuz hey it'll make him leave them alone so like? go off??
nothing gets pissed off at him though because he just sent his murderous father off to kill her brother. rude or not he's still important to her. she and power have their interaction, power whining about how much she "loves" her children, you know. except nothing disowns her. power gets called out and yk yk. its a whole thing and gives nothing some of the agency she lost over the years
then she goes off to find quick, insightful follows her to help, and light follows them because he feels bad.
quick is dead, proud is a dick, light is hidden away in this scene. it goes much the same except light is seeing his father's corpse for himself and insightful is there negotiating their lives alongside nothing. also threatening proud
they yet away with their lives and run as far away as possible just in case he comes after light. nothing may be annoyed but letting your small cousin be murdered isn't cool
so they go off to find fire. its important to nothing cuz ykkk he's her last living sibling and as far as she's concerned, her remaining immediate family. he treats her how he does cuz he loves her, right? right. right?
nothing lives on the stretch how she lived in the prides, taking as little as possible of everything. insightful starts trying to get her to eat more before she like. drops dead. but its hard bc yk internalized self hatred is a vibe. they stay hot on fire's trail, until they come across some bones, a lot of blood, and the eaten remains of tangle. I'm making that plot point more fucked up.
everyone is of course freaked out, and insightful immediately takes it on herself to make sure nothing and light have some skill in fighting cuz Oh My God! they each play to their strengths, and it's like typical training montage. I like to think that with nothing's bad leg opponents would naturally try to take advantage of her balance, and which point she could rear up on her hind legs and then unexpectedly just crash down onto her opponent with her full weight. idk I've never seen a lion fight.
so yeah they eventually find fire and light and insightful are like. not trusting him at all, they suspect him. nothing isn't so hasty with the blame, cannibalism is a lot to accuse your brother of. fire says that if he takes over the nearest pride, he can change her name due to her time as a prideless lion.
as discussed, light objects. he thinks she should be able to choose her own name. pride or not. fire the devout follower of pride law didn't like that
they kill that old man, fire demands the pride, moonstrike (now striker) denies him and he's like. "You cant do that. That's illegal" and striker claims he couldn't have beaten her mate in fair combat after getting his ass kicked the first time. plus he's got some random child that isn't his
he takes that as "kill the kid" and yk. goes after light. nothing's reaction time is normal now though and barrels into him before he can rip lights throat out. he's still gravely wounded though, so much so that insightful is fully occupied trying to keep him alive.
nothing and fire square off, fire is ableist, nothing challenges him. You know. except this time she kills him. she gets him on his back and cuts him open, guts everywhere. no Ghost scene.
Injured and horrified, she lays down. she's like. going to have a breakdown. she just killed her brother, light may be dead, these strangers won't quit staring at her, its not good. episode end.
cut to like next morning and nothing's injuries are being taken care of at the same time as light's. insightful is in there with em talking with striker. noticing she's up, striker asks her name. I'm still not sure what I'd want her to change it to but she does change it. perhaps Enough?
idk idk either way, she doesn't get the pride. she beat fire but it wasn't his to give. however, striker offers them all a place there, including light. boom season 1 end
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InuYasha Fic (working title “Sesshomaru The Babydaddy)
For Good Intentions WIP Fest, details of which can be found @goodintentionswipfest
Years ago I had an idea for a fic about Sesshomaru having a half-demon kid; like I think I might have been in middle school when I first started this. I’ve poked at it a few times over the years, but now that the InuYasha sequel is out and brushing close to my idea in some key ways I doubt I’m ever gonna find the motivation to finish it, just feels redundant since it’s been so thoroughly jossed. And I also don’t want to watch the sequel, because it’s too close and I know I’ll like my idea better, because it’s my idea.
***
He ran his fingers through her long, raven hair and she ran hers through his white. No one in the world could see them—no one needed to. Only the sliver of moon bore witness as it shown through cloud and canopy, bleaching the earth in pools of silver. She was soft, fragile, unafraid. She very nearly frightened him, and she knew it. He liked it.
In the dark it was easy to forget—or, at the very least, ignore—that they were from opposing worlds. In any case, they didn't have to forget for long.
She woke to the warmth of morning sun filtering through the boughs of the wild cherry tree beneath with she lay on a white kimono that was not hers. She knew without opening her eyes that she was alone.
Inuyasha yawned and stretched as he walked.
[The gang talks, Kagome is on break from school. They get to a little, remote villiage.]
Sango glanced around, eyes narrowed. “You know how people tend to stare at InuYasha like they're worried he's gonna eat them?”
“Yeah...?” Shippo said.
“The people here are hardly noticing him.”
[IY says something about prefering this situation to being attacked/chased]
“Sure, but it's strange.” Sango frowned. “It makes me nervous.”
[Miroku drags IY over to question an old lady at a well.]
Miroku: “Hello, ma'am. My friend here is a half-demon, did you know that?”
The woman set her now-full bucket on the ground. “Mhm, figured so, him looking like that.”
“Hm.” Miroku released his grip on the squirming honyou. “And that's not....interesting or alarming or anything?”
The old woman shrugged. “Sort of used to it.”
InuYasha stopped himself a hair's bredth from throttling the monk. “What d'you mean you're used to it?”
“Inn keeper's daughter's the same way. Pretty little thing, real sweet long as you don't make her mad.” The woman laughed, grabbed her bucket and started down the street. “Folks 'round here can't agree if that girl's fire comes from her mama or whatever dark thing begot her!”
[The gang decides to go to the inn]
#
InuYasha kicked the inn door open with a bang. The only person in the dimly lit room didn't even jump. She just looked up with a smile from wiping down a table and bowed politely. “Good afternoon, welcome. Do you need a table, a room, or both?”
The girl was slim, young—no older than thirteen—but tall for her age, with a thick white braid hanging down to the small of her back. She was dressed in pale blue umanori over an orange kimono with tied up sleeves, a bright spot of color in the mostly drab room. Small, canine ears poked out from the bandana tied around her head, and she looked through her too long bangs with large tawny eyes.
InuYasha stalked up to her, invading her personal space, and started sniffing. She leaned away from him, eyeing him like he was crazy. “Uh, I'll get my mother.”
She darted to the stairs and out of sight.
“You didn't have to scare her like that,” Kagome chided.
“It smells like my brother.” InuYasha crossed his arms and made a face of disgust.
[The girl (Hoshi)'s mother comes down, introduces herself as Akiko, mention's Hoshi's name too]
“Why the hell does your kid smell like my brother?”
“No idea.” Akiko crossed her arms. “Why does your brother smell like a twelve year old girl?” She shifted her focus to the rest of the group. “You here for supper or for the night? Or are you just here for your friend to make trouble?”
[So much stuff and things happen. Not sure how long passes. The gang leaves town. They're not far out of town when they happen to run into Sesshomaru]
“You!” InuYasha stabbed a finger at his brother. “You hypocritical son of a bitch!”
Sesshomaru leveled a look of disdain at his father's younger son. “What are you talking about?”
“You've got a half-human kid!”
[Sesshi has a “pics or it didn't happen” reaction so they all head back into town.]
Akiko looked up from were she was keeping book at one of the dining tables. “I thought you were heading out of town.” She spotted Sesshomaru. “Oh.” She stood gracefully. “You.”
Sango tilted her head toward the demon. “Told you.”
“It means nothing that this woman recognizes me,” he said coolly.
“You're full of shit.” Akiko rolled her eyes. “What the hell happened to you arm?” After too long a beat with no answer forthcoming, she shrugged. “Well, I guess you only need one....”
InuYasha cringed, catching the [sexual] side of her meaning. “Do you have to say things like that?”
“Can you get over it that I slept with your brother?” she shot back quickly then crossed her arms and turned to the full demon. “
[Stuff and things. Hoshi comes in.]
“I'm done with inventory—” Hoshi stopped talking abruptly and went very still. One of her ears twitched.
Beside Kagome, Sesshomaru stiffened, eyes widening. For a long moment, no one breathed. Then, in a single flash of motion almost too fast to follow, Hoshi had crossed the room, stepped up onto a chair to augment her height, smacked her sire across the face, and fled upstairs. Instantly, Sesshomaru bristled and snarled; a drop of blood oozed from one of the three long welts on his cheek where Hoshi's nails had caught him.
“Hey!” Akiko shouted and banged a hand on the table. “Calm down. You break anything in this building, so much as gouge a table, and I'll take your other arm off. You put a single scratch on my daughter and I will end your life. You hear me?”
He clenched his fist but otherwise feigned composure. “I hear you.”
“Good.” Akiko headed for the stairs.
[much stuff and things, IDK]
[Sesshi gets drunk at some point]
“Can we talk?” Akiko asked softly.
“Cruel, giving me the illusion of choice.”
“Oh, you have a choice.” She crossed her arms. “You can say no and walk away. I wouldn't suggest it, though.”
He inclined his head slightly.
She nodded. “Walk with me?”
“Very well.” He offered her his arm. She took it and they set out along the path.
[Akiko explains that Hoshi does have valid reasons to resent Sesshomaru for]
“I don't blame you for not being here, even if I sometimes wish you had been. I never expected you to stay. I knew when I lay with you that you wouldn't.”
“Then why did you?”
She smiled. “It was exciting.”
They stopped on the path in the shadow of a large conifer. He disengaged their arms and touched her face. She met his gaze unwaveringly.
“Why aren't you frightened of me?”
She shrugged. “My mother used to say that you don't avoid the river just because you can drown.” She smoothed one of her sleeves. “One need not fear something just because it's dangerous so long as you respect its power.”
“Mm.” He studied her a moment before leaning to kiss her.
She pulled away. “Don't do that unless you mean it.” He started to respond but she cut him off. “I mean, unless you care.”
He took a small step back.
“Things are different than they were. I'm different. I'm a mother, a business owner. I have obligations and responsibilities. Before, I was girl with next to no prospects and no expectations. All I wanted from you was whatever you were willing to readily give.
“For now, you're just passing through. But if you kiss me, or anything else, you make yourself a part of things here. You do that, and you'll be making a promise you had better not make unless you've every intention of keeping it.”
The corner of Sesshomaru's mouth twitched. “I want you.”
“Too bad.”
He grabbed her shoulder roughly. She smacked him across the face and took several steps back, away from him.
“Don't you dare!” Akiko shouted. She lowered her voice to a snarl. “Do not manhandle me. You've no right. You get to touch me only if I let you and only how I say.” She straightened her clothes, drew herself up regally, and started back toward the inn.
InuYasha hopped up over a bolder, and there was Sesshomaru, sitting on the ground, eyes closed, back against a cherry tree. A soft breeze blew through the clearing, stirring both their hair. Without opening his eyes, the elder brother said, “What are you doing here?”
“Heh.” InuYasha crossed his arms. “I was sent to go make sure you're not killing anything important.”
“I'm not killing anything at all.”
“Good. So, tell me to fuck off and I'll go back and say you told me to fuck off and I'll leave you alone and you can leave or whatever.”
Sesshomaru opened his eyes and looked up at the sky. “Humans are soft.”
“Uh.” InuYasha blinked at the non sequitur. “Yeah, they're squishy and fragile and weak—all the shit you give me hell for being when I'm not. So what?”
“I didn't mean to frighten her.”
“So tell her that.” He snorted. “I don't care.”
“I could kill you.”
“Sure you could.” Akiko put away the freshly scoured cups. “So could your brother or any of his friends or my brother. The ability to kill is not unique, Sesshomaru.”
“I would enjoy killing you.”
She rolled her eyes and reached for more dishes. “Are you trying to make some kind of point?”
“I could kill you. I know I would enjoy doing so. But I don't want to.”
“Mhm?”
“I would prefer you remain alive.”
She snorted, halfway to a laugh. “If you're trying to be affectionate, I appreciate the attempt, but you're really bad at it.”
“I've little practice.” He stood, crossed the room, took a bowl from her hands, set it down, and touched her face. He stroked her cheek with his thumb.
“Watch the claws.”
“I know.” He tilted her chin up gently.
“You've done much for me,” he said softly. “Borne and raised my child, when you need not have kept her....”
“If I'd given her up, who would have taken her? Most childless bakers aren't looking for hanyou babes.”
“That's not what I mean by 'kept.'”
“What do you mean then?”
He fingered the ruff at his shoulder and glanced at her sideways. “I know women have methods for...handling situations.”
Akiko looked to the floor. “Yes.... But they're unreliable and dangerous and, I decided, not worth it.”
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rant lol
tw maybe? idk it's just me talking about my daddy issues as always so idk .. maybe tw for negative talk/anger? i dunno, i just wouldn't read anyways cuz it's just something i needed to get out lolll
no need to read once again.
also im sorry for always ranting here its like the one space i go to about my problems when stuff is overwhleming yk
il probably delete this in the morning idek
i wish my dad was someone i could look up to. i miss him being my best friend, and him calling me nicknames that were comforting. now it's like every conversation we're going against each other constantly, and every single time i see someone having fun with their dad it makes me so envious. what did i do to deserve my dad to be shitty? why do bad things always happen to me? what did i do to deserve my trust in everyone to be destroyed, what did i do for that. i wish i could apologize to my younger self, all she wanted was to have a good dad and a father figure that wasn't emotionally unavailable. she was so forgiving, so sweet. where did i go wrong. she was so kind to everyone, and believed that everyone had good in their hearts. i wish she still existed, i wish i wasn't the way i was. i wish she was proud of me, but i have the feeling she's weeping somewhere inside of me.
there's nothing i want more than to be able to forgive my dad. everyone tells me how important it is for me to have a good relatioship with him,, and how i'll always regret being this way. i can't help it. whenever i see him, i'm so fucking mad. i want to hurt him double to how he's hurt me. it's only right. i can't look at him and think "oh, he deserves a good life" all i see is someone who deserves all the pain he's been given. he destroyed my family, he destroyed my hope in the world, he destroyed everything. he doesn't deserve to be forgiven. but i want to so badly. i want to be able to look at him and think "that's my best friend, that's someone who is there for me" but i can't. i can't think that about someone who i would cry over every night for years straight. people say he was a good dad and it pisses me off. sure he'd make me laugh, but that was because i wanted so badly for him to pass me any attention. he always preferred other people, he was always busy. he didn't have the time. so i craved any attention from anyone. he was literally friends with the dude that groomed me, and he didn't try to stop it. and he didn't try and tell my mom. he just let it happen. he claims he loves me, but you don't hurt someone you love over and over and over.
he says he wants to have a good relationship, but just fucking guilts me about every damn thing. i can't fucking deal with it. i'm exhausted of always having to be on guard when he's around anyone in my fami;y because i'm the only one that actually recognizes his guilt tripping. he's completely ruined all of our mental healths, and still thinks he's the victim. he turns everything on us, and claims he's an amazing father. how stupid is he? why can't he see how we all would be better off if he moved away with the family he cheated with. we clearly don't matter to him anyways.
i pretend i'm not upset constantly cause he always looks down on ppl that seem upset. i hate people like that. the one thing i never want to be in life is him. he constantly fires after my mom, and they both get mad when i defend her from his words. i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. i always feeel like a horrible daughter. if i wasn't born, then my mom wouldn't have been trapped in a relationship with him. why doesn't she resent me.
i just want my dad to be my friend again. but he never will be, and it hurts so bad. it's like a hole in my gut that will never be fufilled because the one thing that can fix it is unattainable. just when i was starting to get a grip on my mental health, i find out all of this.
even my therapist says he hasn't done much wrong, is it really me overreacting? i don't even listen to her anymore. she said that i was overreacting when i told her about other things that o have trauma from, and she said it wasn't actually trauma. i don't know what to do. i feel so trapped bro. writing is my only form of escape and half of the time i don't even want to write because i have absolutelyy no energy.
anyways if you read this for some reason sorry to bother lol i just needed to get it out, probably will have some sort of mha post tonite !!
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Original Story Idea
My first Story Idea on here, though it's actually number 18 in my notes. Hope you find this interesting.
For future reference, these are all gonna be probably a very rambly and full of things that I've gone back and added later on.
These are also super bare bones since I'm trying to get ideas out before I lose them. If people enjoy this, maybe I'll post more. Maybe I'll post more anyway. Idk.
Title?: Mother's Garden
For a webcomic or manga? Setting: Anime-like high school, you know the drill.
Main Character Boy - Juno (Roman goddess of mothers and family. He was Mother's favorite, and she was grooming him to be the next "Mother" before he left. Mother genuinely loves him, and either she gave him this name, or he named himself that, in honor of her)/Something else (a code name/the name he uses for interaction with the outside world) Not sure what his real name is yet.
Main character dude is school pretty boy
General shoujo shenanigans ensue
Girls chase him all over the school and constantly ask him out and generaly treat him like (Komi-san) a god, but he's good natured about it and a good dude all around
A Shoujo Shenanigan - Confession
"You're are a good person Juno." Girl-with-a-crush-on-him #17 says. A bright smile on her face as she confesses.
Juno looks down at her, her short brown pigtails bound with pretty orange ribbons. She's got warm brown eyes, and looks at him as she speaks, which is more than most of the girls he's caught the attention of can claim. All in all, she's cute. He knows that she's smart too, since she's in the same advanced science class with him. (Add more stuff about 17's background that Juno shouldn't realistically know just from being her classmate)
Honestly? It wouldn't be the worst decision to actually go out with her. He knows her quite well after all.
Too bad she doesn't know anything about him.
Juno thinks to himself, a sad and wistful smile on his own face.
'She thinks I'm a good person.'
He shakes his head.
"I'm sorry, but I can't go out with you."
'No. I'm not. Not even a little.'
She really doesn't know him at all.
Other Shojou Shenanigans
The girls constantly try to pull him into shenanigans to get his clothes off, but no one can ever make him take off his shirt.
There's a reason for that.
He's got an extensive tattoo on his back from when he was part of an assassination organization called Mother's Garden.
It took in children and gave them a home and a family. All it asked for in return was undying loyalty
MC boy is probably the only one ever to get out and try to live a normal life.
Eventually though, his past catches up to him. He was their best agent, and had to do an impossible mission to qualify for escaping (they thought he would die, and if he didn't he deserved his freedom [like John Wick])
A Family Visit
Some of his "Brothers and Sisters" come looking for him (though NOT at Mother's behest)
[They all have number names] holds a hand out, an offering of peace, perhaps. Juno is a still as looks at his "Older Brother" from where they sit, across from each other, on the floor.
"Come home little brother." he pleads. "Mother misses you."
"If she wants me back, she can come here herself and get me." Juno remarks calmly.
He's said it once and he'll say it again (although he's starting to get tired of repeating himself).
He's not going back.
A younger girl than him and [Older Brother's number] seethes at his back. She had been grinding her teeth the whole duration of this mission. He could read it in her body that she was new.
"How dare you speak of Mother with such disrespect! I should cut out your tongue!" She nearly screams.
Juno can't escape a slightly amused exhale under his breath. This girl? This child? The very thought is laughable. (He almost wants to see her try, but he'd probably end up being mean to her and cut off an arm or something. The Gardeners would be able to put it back on of course, but they'd probably use it as a lesson in discipline. He'd been lucky enough to only ever have lost a finger, and that one was mostly his fault anyway, and against Mother so...)
As if sensing his mirth at her "threat" the red-haired "Little Sister" growls at him and brandishes a weapon.
This...is taking it too far. They are in his home, his quiet, lovely sanctuary (a garden of his very own), and this one dares raise a blade to him? He wonders for a moment if he should kill her (she may be a Child, but most of them know better than this).
Sensing the coming danger, even if the little one doesn't, someone else takes action.
An older Sister steps close to the Child (and he's decided that she is a Child, to him anyway, regardless of her actual designation) and backhands her across the face. The redheaded child looks up at the other girl with wide eyes, a reaction more of surprise than of pain.
"Mind your tongue, little sister, or it will be you who looses the ability to speak. You know not of who's presence you are in. We are in our Brother's Garden, and you will show the proper respect and reverence to Juno."
Juno senses a shift in the crowd. Ah. So only a few of them actually knew who he was when they came here. Though, glancing around out the corner of his eyes, he can tell that some of them suspected. (Hm. He'd kind of liked the anonymity. Oh well. What's done is done.)
Logistical and World Building Stuff for Understanding
Members of Mother's Garden's names are written as: Big/Little Sister/Brother # in full
Informal is just their number when speaking of them, and as Little or Older Sister/Brother when speaking to them
Those younger and who have not yet completed their training are refered to as 'Child' or 'Children' (for plural)
Calling a 'Sibling' a 'Child' is an insult to their skill
Being a 'Child of X' denotes what you were trained for after the basics in combat. You can also specialize in something
'Children of the Green' become 'Gardeners' (a nickname people have come up with, they tend to the Garden, keep it healthy and strong. I might replace all these with flower names though, and what those flowers can add to a garden) and learn how to use incredibly advanced healing tech that can reattach limbs and add biometrics and really good prosthetics
'Children of the Black' are trained in stealth and become 'Nightshade'
'Children of the Pink' are trained to teach the children non-combat related skills like languages and the kinds of things you learn in school, and maybe dance or extra stuff?
'Children of the Blue' are trained to gather info
There is only one 'Golden Child'. They are chosen to be the next 'Mother' when the time comes that the Mother decides that they are ready, or when he or she dies
There is only one 'Silver Child'. They are next in line to become Mother ONLY if something happens to BOTH the Golden Child and Mother. Once a Golden Child becomes Mother, they can choose a new Golden and Silver child, though it is often that the Silver Child goes on to become the Golden, and someone new is chosen as Silver
(Being the Silver Child to the Golden one sometimes breeds resentment, but all Children must pit the good of the Garden before their own ambition or feelings. Only Bad Children feel resentment after all.)
Bad Children are [REDACTED]
More to be added to the 'Children of the X' section
The 'Eldest' are the ones who teach the younger children how to be 'Children of X'
They would introduce themselves as 'I am Brother/Sister #, Eldest son/daughter of [color]'
Anyway. That’s all I’ve got for this world for now. Later.
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(//Britney Spears Voice// Oops I Did it Again)
I was thinking about Sero having siblings which made me think about class 1a and like,, how few of them have canon siblings? & then I was like “well hmm, who has siblings in canon and who do I feel like SHOULD have siblings?” which has NOW spiraled to “whole family dynamic” so. Here’s this (note that I’m not gonna subtract people from families who already canonically exist like however much I’d like to launch End**v*r into the sun this is less “I rewrote things how I’d like them to be” and more “how many of these kids do I think should have siblings and if their parents aren’t developed what do I think they’re like”).
Midoriya: We already know he does not have siblings and tbh even if we didn’t know I’d still think he doesn’t. He absolutely has Only Child Who’s Kinda Lonely And Wanted A Sibling But Never Got One vibes. Also we know he has a single mom and a dad who’s not really in the picture (sidenote I love Inko Midoriya even though she failed Izuku in the past by not believing in him she loves her son so much and is trying her hardest to make up for it and do what’s best for him). I feel like her husband is like,,, not straight up the worst person ever like he’s not abusive but he’s not particularly interested in his family anymore?? Like he pays his child support but doesn’t make any effort to talk to his wife and son? He’d get divorced but he doesn’t want to go through the hassle of that legal process, especially since he’s living on a whole separate continent & would either have to go back to Japan for the legal proceedings or do it from there which would be challenging & he’s “far too busy” to do that
Bakugou: He doesn’t have siblings in canon but he does kinda give off Middle Child In A House With Lots Of Children vibes...that inferiority/superiority complex tho...oh either that or Oldest Child In A House With Lots Of Children vibes...but yeah consider middle child Bkg. Like...maybe 5-6 Bakugou children and he’s either smack dab in the middle or 3rd oldest depending if he has 4 or 5 siblings. Also it’s pretty obvious that Mitsuki’s not a good mom & Masaru is not rlly willing to stand up to her but unfortunately I can’t change that cause I said I wouldn’t mess with existing family members :/ maybe I shouldn’t give him more siblings after all, for their sake...
Todoroki: We know the todofam dynamic already. Tbh idk what kinda vibes he’d give me if I didn’t already know he had siblings, but since I know that he has siblings in canon it makes sense that he’s a youngest child (also sidenote I LOVE the Todorokisibs & I want them to have the time to bond and become like,,, real, close siblings. Also #givereiadivorce2k20). I hope someone yeets Endumpster out of existence one of these days...fingers crossed
Iida: It’s canon that he has a brother and it’s so sweet how much he admires and loves him Iida ily. Again it makes sense that he’s a youngest child; his need to be “worthy of” his brother’s legacy is rlly apparent, & feels like a total youngest sibling trait. Tbh if I didn’t know he had a brother I could also see him as an only child but I’m glad he has Tensei. I feel like his parents are hardworking but make sure to make time for their children as much as they can & make sure they know they’re loved. Iida kinda also considers some of the heroes/sidekicks who work at the Idaten agency family since they’ve been around so much during his childhood & he knows them pretty well. Also since Tensei is friends with Aizawa and Yamada they were definitely Tenya’s babysitters at least a couple times & around the house a lot so he considers them kinda like uncles or something
Uraraka: I know she doesn’t have siblings in canon but it feels like she should. She gives off big sister vibes. Like she’s canonically becoming a hero for her parents, and I think that would be even better if she also had siblings (all younger than her. At least 2 siblings, maybe 3). I want to see Uraraka with siblings @ Horikoshi why did you deprive us of this? Also we know her parents work hard and love her which I love I’m so glad SOMEONE in class 1a canonically has 2 good supportive parents
Tsuyu: We already know she has two siblings and yes she also has Big Sister Vibes. Don’t have much to explain abt this one, she’s just mature and dependable in like the Older Sister Specific Way (not that all older sisters are mature and dependable, just that there’s a kind of mature and dependable that directly comes from being an older sister specifically). I feel like her parents love her and her siblings & taught them to be truthful & stuff but are kinda quiet and reserved with their affection, and they’re often busy with their jobs so Tsuyu had to take on some extra responsibility caring for her siblings
Yaoyorozu: She’s an only child and yeah, it makes sense. Her parents only have one child to focus on, and as such it’s pretty obvious she feels the full pressure of their expectations, giving her pretty obvious Only Child Vibes. Although I guess you could also look at it as youngest child vibes cause I could just as easily see her having a bunch of talented successful older siblings/one Really Talented Older Sibling so she feels the pressure in following in their footsteps (think either Daphne from scooby doo mystery incorporated or Tahani Al-Jamil from the good place except she doesn’t necessarily hate/resent her siblings but is just kinda insecure about her “worth” compared to them. This is where the second guessing she suddenly displays in canon could come in - correct me if I’m wrong but she didn’t rlly show signs of second-guessing herself until the sports festival? So she’s fine in class where nobody rlly knows her but once she’s at the sports festival which is nationally televised she starts to doubt herself because her parents and sister(s) are watching & she’s like “oh no what if my sister(s) would be better than me at this” so that’s why she suddenly loses confidence). I kinda implied before but I feel like her parents are pretty strict & have high expectations for her & while they’re not needlessly cruel, they won’t tolerate less than the best
Jirou: Pretty sure she has no siblings in canon BUT she TOTALLY gives off youngest sibling vibes. I’m thinking she’d have like a cool older brother who likes to embarrass her. Her parents are pretty chill (I think that part’s kinda canon?). She has lots of older cousins who she’s pretty close with and one bad*ss lesbian aunt who’s pretty much her role model (Jirou when she was younger: I wanna be just like my aunt!!! Jirou now: ah. That’s why. I also like girls.)
Kirishima: Again I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have siblings in canon and as for whether I think he gives off sibling vibes??? I’m not entirely sure. I was gonna say I don’t think so cause like. He gives off vibes that he’d be good with siblings but doesn’t actually have them, kinda like Midoriya (but like,,,I also kinda want to give him siblings so I’m not sure). Also you know that fandom headcanon that he has 2 moms? Yeah I love that that’s canon you can’t convince me otherwise. He has 2 moms and they both love him so much & wanna support him however they can (also I kinda put a little thought into them for a fic I started writing and decided that they’re the embodiment of the tattoo parlor/flower shop au. Flower mom keeps some arrangements that are...not necessarily professional in her shop because her wife arranged them for her. Tattoo mom gives flower mom tattoos for free & they have matching tattoos that flower mom designed)
Koda: he gives me Could Have Siblings vibes as in he kinda feels like another middle child but I feel like he’s actually an only child (like he probably is in canon? I think). His parents are quiet like him but they definitely love him and he knows it. He’s really close to his grandparents (who also live with his family) as well. He also, quits predictably, has a lot of animal friends who are kind of like family to him cause they’ve been through a lot together (the Koda family household sometimes looks a little bit like a zoo because 3 people in it have talking-to-animal-related quirks)
Sato: another idk about canon but he has a little sister. I cannot tell you why I think this but he definitely has a little sister. Sato you have been diagnosed with Big Brother Energy. Also he totally has a single dad who owns a bakery which is how Sato knows how to bake so well! They’re not poor but they’re not rich and he hopes to send some of his paycheck to support his family & help his dad expand the bakery. It wasn’t the primary reason he became a hero (that was because a hero once saved his little sister from a burning building & he decided that he wanted to be able to save people like that hero had saved his sister), but he does like the benefit of the paycheck
Tokoyami: tbh my first instinct was no siblings but I think it would be really funny if he had like. 3 really preppy siblings (one older than him two younger) & he was the only goth one in his family. Or like. His dad is also goth but his mom & other siblings r super preppy. He loves them all but is very much introverted and he and his dad are closer than the rest bc they kinda bond over being less energetic. His siblings & mom don’t REALLY understand Tokoyami’s goth-ness but they love and support him anyways. His younger siblings lowkey like Dark Shadow maybe even more than him tho. Dark Shadow was pretty sad when he heard they’d be moving to the dorms because he would miss them
Kaminari: tbh I first thought he had only child vibes (he kinda does) but then I decided that he has siblings but their age gaps are pretty significant. His older sister has just gotten out of university and is working and his younger sister is like...7 maybe. His siblings both love him but the age gaps between them make it hard for them to connect sometimes. Anyways I feel like his parents are pretty neglectful & caught up in their work. They don’t really pay attention to him or his other siblings, so his older sister had to learn things like cooking and cleaning and do a lot of taking care of Kaminari and he had to help take care of his younger sister, especially after his older sister went to uni. His parents just assumed he’d come to work at their electric company but he didn’t want to do that so while he definitely wants to save people a big part of his desire to become a hero is to make real connections and prove to his parents that he’s worthy of love and attention. He took the UA exam without telling them and when they found out they would have told him no except that they figured the exposure of their son going to the top hero school in Japan would give them more business. When he moved to the dorms he missed his sisters but was glad he didn’t have to be the main caretaker of his little sister anymore (his parents hired a nanny, which they hadn’t wanted to do before because of how much money it would cost, but because they had in fact gotten more business due to Denki going to UA they had a little more money now). (The nanny and Denki’s sister became fast friends, a fact of which he was glad because it meant he wasn’t leaving her alone in an empty house. He called and visited his sister as often as possible)
Hagakure: honestly I’m pretty sure she’s an only child in canon and she DOES give off only child vibes I think...unlike Midoriya tho I don’t think she’d be particularly bothered by it? I mean I feel like she’s kinda lonely but that’s less about lack of siblings & more bc of lack of people seeing her. But her parents rlly care about her & support her however they can, & they also understand her bc they’re invisible too so they know how it feels to have to work hard to be noticed when you can’t exactly be seen
Aoyama: either both his siblings are way older than him or he’s an only child. He does not give me “is super close with his siblings” vibes. He’s definitely seen as the baby in the family and not in a “he gets away with everything & is the parents’ favorite” way in the “they think he’s kinda a failure” way. His siblings look down on him, his mom pities him because he was the only one to inherit her quirk, which hurts to use, & his dad kinda doesn’t rlly care about him one way or the other. The family gives me pretty rich vibes. Like not as rich as the Yaoyorozus/Iidas/Todorokis but still pretty rich. He went to UA mostly because he wants to get stronger both so that his mom can stop pitying/worrying about him and so that the rest of his family won’t look down on him anymore
Ojirou: l also think he has a few siblings (like...no more than 2 tho). I think younger siblings, he’s also a character with big brother energy (tho I could also see middle child Ojirou). His mom runs a dojo which is part of the reason why he’s so good at martial arts. His dad is an artist. They’re pretty close and love and respect each other. His parents were surprised but supportive when he announced he wanted to go to UA
Ashido: an only child. Her parents love her a lot & make sure she feels supported. She sometimes wishes she had siblings but not super often because she has tons of good friends (this along with Kirishima being an only child who wants siblings sometimes only makes their brotp more epic)!! Also she still keeps in close touch with her civilian friends from middle school but kinda feel disconnected from them sometimes because they’re living such different lives than her. Like they’ll talk about the latest movie and ask her if she’s seen it and she just says no and kinda laugh it off because she can’t just say “no, I wanted to but villains tried to kill my class the day we were planning to go”. She also has a hard time telling her parents that because she knows they’d be super worried about her and she really wants to be a hero!
Sero: has siblings (is somewhere in the middle) and also a huge extended family!!! Before the dorms he lived with his mom and siblings but his extended family lived really close to them and visited all the time so he’s really close to both sets of grandparents and his many aunts and uncles and little cousins (though he’s a middle child in his immediate family he’s one of the oldest cousins). Though he misses his family he sees them as often as he can, and is kinda glad for how chaotic and loud the dorms can be sometimes because it reminds him of his home
Shoji: has a little brother, a mom, and a step-dad. It took a while for him to get used to his step-dad, but it becomes clear that he really loves his family so now Shoji loves him too and is fairly close to him. Shoji’s little brother is adopted because there were complications with his mom’s pregnancy when she was having Mezo and while he turned out fine, they found out that it would be risky for his mom to attempt to get pregnant again. His little brother also has a mutation quirk (though it’s not Dupli Arms it’s Bear) and Shoji loves him more than anything else in the world. He wants to become a hero to help combat the stigma around certain mutation quirks (Gang Orca once canonically kinda addressed that that exists when he talked about how children are always afraid of him bc of how he looks) so that the world will be better for people like him and his brother. His mom and stepdad wholeheartedly support him
M*neta: Only doing this bc my brain will not shut up & is making me analyze all of 1a even the ones I don’t consider 1a. I hope he doesn’t have siblings so less people have to be exposed to his...m*neta-ness but tbh I could see him having siblings. His parents are busy and either don’t notice or don’t care what a terrible person their son is
Better purple boy who deserves a place in 1a way more than the grape Shinsou: has no siblings but gives off IMMENSE big brother vibes. Definitely grew up in the foster system (his biological mother, who was a single mother and also had a mind control quirk, became a villain because she couldn’t get hired anywhere, had no way to support her son, and was tired of being villainized by society so she was like “ok you want a villain? Bet.” When Shinsou was like 7, his mom was killed while trying to flee a crime scene. Since Shinsou had no other parent, he was then put into the foster system. Nobody adopted him because everyone thought he was going to become a villain like his mom had, and even the people who didn’t know his mom thought his quirk was “villainous”). Aizawa and Yamada are now eventually planning to adopt him. He kinda has similar vibes to Midoriya in regards to the “Only Child Who’s Kinda Lonely And Wanted A Sibling” but unlike Midoriya he would NEVER admit he wanted a sibling. “I like being alone” he insists. He is a lying liar. However as soon as he meets Eri they instantly connect & he kinda becomes like a big brother to her even tho he will deny it until Eri herself calls him her brother. When this happens he will cry even tho he will say he didn’t
#is it evident that i enjoy thinking about side characters and fleshing out their motivations yet svsjsvsjsvs#i dodnt know i had sato headcanons until now but now i am very attached to them#midoriya izuku#midoriya inko#bakugou katsuki#mitsuki tw#bakugou masaru#todoroki shouto#endeavor tw#iida tenya#iida tensei#aizawa shouta#yamada hizashi#uraraka ochako#asui tsuyu#yaoyorozu momo#jirou kyouka#kirishima eijirou#koda koji#sato rikido#tokoyami fumikage#kaminari denki#hagakure tooru#aoyama yuuga#ojirou mashirao#ashido mina#sero hanta#shoji mezo#mineta tw#shinsou hitoshi
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I cant decide if I think what happened this episode makes me mad at tae joo.
me @ me...and ppl who may read what i write...lmao: hear me out. i am a black anarchist cis woman so like...not everyone is going to care or think about stuff like this. i realize it may not be the total norm yet (but hey black radicals burned down a fucking police station yesterday which is some real cool history so who is to say that i’m not.) with or without the norms, i share to get a grip of my own thoughts that ADHD absolutely won’t let me keep. and see what people have to say! maybe they’ll engage. otherwise,,,,,,,it doesnt matter i jsut love thinking it through. cos i am CONFUSED!!!
(btw, i insult rich ppl through this whole thing and i dont give a fuck. i repeat a lot of things too o well.)
the start of the ep has these words from tae joo:
i have a young friend. a shadow like being who doesn’t go away even at one o clock. that shadow grew a self. i have to do him the favor...
part of his like and attraction to guk is because of that existing power imbalance. i, personally, think that is impossible to deny given that we see it. a girl coming over to their house and he kisses her. he had to know that guk would see, or would be looking, whatever.
you have tae joo being surprised at interest in guk. not because guk isn’t attractive or whatever, but because he’s used to the one being noticed. he may not be as broad and tall (there’s not a huge difference but guk obviously stands out more visually, while tae joo stands out cos he’s him i guess lol.)
i think there may be an element of this cat and mouse game that he likes, but guk takes it a lot more seriously. as he should because...it’s his job. we don’t know at what point they are so anything that happened previously but they very clearly like each other.
i was gonna say it didn’t even have to be romantic—yet. just that feeling of i don’t need anyone else to take you. i’m curious about why tae joo likes pil hyun but maybe it has something to do with wanting a friend that isn’t necessarily one borne out of necessity. but pil hyun’s dad does work at tae joo’s father’s dumb company or whatever. he’s on the board? idk i forgot
but maybe neither of them really care and pil hyun is just a friend instead of someone you have deep admiration and romantic or strange love for.
but then there’s a lot of cruelly selfish stuff that shows why this imbalance and their two different backgrounds hinders them. tae joo doesn’t want to lose this shadow anyway but guk is always there. where he’s supposed to be.
when tae joo said, “isn’t it boring just the two of us?” it’s just such a dumb fucking question to ask. he was either just being verbally careless or did it on purpose. it can be both, but i don’t think it was supposed to be. for every one side of a you need to see him as a person not a workerr also encourage him to fuckng quit and live your lives together outside of your stupid rich father coin there’s a he obviously wants and needs him as much if not more.
the if not more part comes to mean (to me) dependency formed UPON guk’s job. were they not to be in this circumstance, how would their paths cross?
honestly the show poses a lot of class dilemma for something so short. now is the time to do and write interesting things and question capitalism anyways. tae joo can’t have everything handed to him. well he can have a lot, because he’s privileged to be where he is, but love isn’t one of those things. guk is not obligated to love him fiercely if tae joo can’t truly relinquish his hold.
the last scene pissed me off a lot at first and thinking about it it still does. like you used the master-servant relationship comment and exploited it because you didn’t like it but it’s the truth. what is the point of guk sitting through your bullshit but when you intentionally go seek him out you can insert yourself.
hye mi saying, “hey we’re talking can u wait yr turn” like YEA. they’re talking, you came in and had a fit, and only someone who has a life like you do would do something like that. was guk making noise while you were being tutored?
i also honestly would just quit if i were guk. not every1 is gonna be an annoying anarchist like me or whatever but that’s pretty much the only way this could sustain itself. that and tae joo respecting guk as a person not just a person he loves in his orbit. the world revolves around us as individuals. meaning we think about ourselves in relation to everyone else because we live in this body. so guk is allowed to center himself in his own life.
this could all be avoided if it crossed tae joo’s mind that guk is allowed space to feel whatever his emotions without being dictated. where it isn’t just sparring that he can say whatever the fuck.
so remember the opening. well, here’s the last lines of thought tae joo had in the car: i have a bodyguard a shadow like being that shouldn’t go away even at one o clock. the shadow isn’t supposed to have a self.
he called the shadow his friend. a shadow has no self so when it finds autonomy — as he is finding himself (guk), guk walks ahead of taejoo, faceless with the camera focused on the shadow itself—we finally start to see him as the shadow shows its human form. it’s never been a shadow, guk has always been a person, his own person, it’s just that and this is literally....he is owned by his job. imagine realizing you have the same tendency as your own dad to feel that way (btw this is also with him (guk) getting slapped by his dad and no......nothing)
in the car we see that selfishness that wasn’t buried but he never thought about. guk shouldn’t leave, he should always be behind him, a shadow, he isn’t supposed to dictate his own life, his life must revolve around me. because he’s transient, again. workers are disposable, a dime a dozen, you happen to love this dime but it doesn’t mean you have been able to fight for it or understand it.
tae joo is rich (i don’t know if it’s new or old money and the distinction would matter a little but i’m pretty sure theyve been together for a long while? bitch idk) the boy he loves is employed by his father. his father is a CEO, a boss and truly the worst kind (FIRE! YOUR! BOSS!) tae joo has been told his whole life that he deserves. why fight capitalism and not understand his own richness? it’s beneficial to him and it gave him guk, right?
and you see how allllllllllll of that, the messaging, the receiving, how you get stuck under the influence as a younger person to be stuck under the influence as a complicit adult to the messages of the ruling class. the ruling class you are a part of whether you like it or not, the one that calls labor your own, the one that rips power from other people. you didn’t choose who you were born from and to, but you get to choose what you do now.
guk was never a shadow, you just didn’t see him because, well, he’s your best friend, and your bodyguard, working and being a literal punching bag for your mistakes (AND THAT’S CAPITALISM BABY, THEY RLY TOLD US THAT THERE—”for your mistakes, i’ll beat him and then send you off to england” like gorl...)
(i also want to mention i whole heartedly believe that the rich resent the poor, the ruling class punish the working class, etc but that’s like irrelevant to here mostly...by irrelevant i mean i shouldnt go any fucking deeper than i have with goddamn dumb analysis. but it’s fun kinda)
anyway basically tae joo like made so many mistakes that show just how fucking clueless you can be when you have immense privilege. coupled with guk working for him, he doesn’t realize that guk doesn’t live to work. has his own thoughts and he has feelings man. when guk said “stop” in e3 i was rly happy tbh. yea, they may like each other but doing shit like that isn’t fair to him if you’re gonna go around and be really flighty about everything while he depends on (well maybe not depend must cater to) you almost completely by DEFAULT of u being rich lmao
this is just a look and critique into one side of tae joo. i don’t dislike him but i question why people both in the show and people discussing feeling bad for tae joo’s circumstance instead of asking why guk has to do any of this.....? how does guk fucking feel about this? where are guk’s feelings factored in. like we’re all saying “we pay you so that should be enough.” fuck no. guk do what you want.
if the show was about like....people in love not meeting at the right time in their lives i wouldnt be too upset either. as long as we know their love was deep and romantic it’s okay to see a parting. of course i would prefer not to see that and just want tae joo and guk to grow up to become nice anarchist citizens. guk is an artist and tae joo writes books about his daddy issues or sth like that
#a thot#an unecessary bl thot#ill call these types of posts that#*unnecessary#where your eyes linger#tae joo x gang gook#tae joo#kang guk
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Listen here’s my thing about this take on Lan Qiren being homophobic I feel like I’m seeing rumblings of more and more:
I don’t think Lan Qiren hates WWX because of homophobia! Even in CQL where idk he comes off kind of more harsh and maybe his reasoning isn’t as opaque because they increase the punishments by such a huge measure. But I still focus more on the “I don’t want you repeating the mistakes of your father” aspect in terms of Lan Qiren’s reasoning!
And if he does say stuff about WWX being “unnatural,” it’s because homeboy as an edgy youth straight-up was like “hey what if instead of dealing with fierce corpses and stuff the way we used to, we dig up a bunch of murder victims, turn THEM into fierce corpses, and then use them to fight the first fierce corpse?”
like Wei Wuxian was straight-up being an edgy counterculture lil shit about it, but in the course of that he did propose a pretty, uhhh, horrific? thing to a guy as traditional as Lan Qiren, who is Doing His Best to guide his two nephews who are now his sole responsibility one of whom is Sect Leader, when he himself was the younger brother and probably was prepared for it, but never really seriously considered that he’d have to take on those duties himself
I mean the guy is harsh (esp the 300 stokes with the iron discipline rod in CQL compared to the 33 lashes for injuring 33 Lan elders punishment) but he’s not that kind of guy? He cares! So much! He’s a traditional dude he’s doing his best while also having to shoulder the discipline and traditions of the entire Sect as a kind of regent figure at times, but he cares so much about his nephews and their well-being and like, clearly his brother’s whole situation left some lasting impressions on him!
Conversely also I don’t think Lan Wangji or even Wei Wuxian really resents Lan Qiren. Because honestly, I don’t think Lan Wangji was even wrong for doubting Wei Wuxian’s belief in his control over demonic cultivation, lol, let alone Lan Qiren doubting him. Idk I just feel like LQR sometimes kind of gets a raw deal in fandom, and like, I just don’t think he’s that kind of an asshole
#lan qiren#the untamed#mdzs#roz speaks#I mean we can talk about. the whole uhh issues with the atrocities the Four Great Families end up doing with the Wens#and how like. other than WWX no one really stood up for them. but that's a different convot#this is touching more on like... more direct/personal interpersonal relationships between these characters
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Roswell NM 2x05
My thoughts of this episode could basically be summed up on “Extremely Mixed Feelings” lmfao.
Let’s start with Rosa, obviously. Gosh, I adore her. ADORE her. She feels so lively and real and colourful among... well, everything and everyone else xD. She did even in death. She makes this show better by being the point of contention in the narrative. The mixed feelings come when she interacts with anyone else, because though she remains her incredible self, (almost) everyone else isn’t and I keep chaffing against the dominant narrative :P. She’s also hilarious lmao. I love every one of her zings xD. The “bitch-ass aliens” was obviously the winner, but her calling Max & Isobel’s nonsense “psychic twincest weirdness” was close LOL.
Like, I don’t know how I feel about the show even JOKING about Rosa possibly forgiving Max & Co. The scene itself with Rosa DEMANDING her own room was perfect, but. Yeah. Don’t even joke about that xD. To add that, I actually really love her scenes with Max, both in previous episodes and this one, when he briefly convinced her of stopping his resurrection (I kind of love that the episode was so close to Easter, btw, it’s so on the nose xDD). The energy between the actors works REALLY well and I find myself suddenly paying attention to Max, which hadn’t happened so far xDD. However, I’d enjoy those scenes even more if I could be reasurred that Rosa is always going to have mixed feelings at best about him, and will never be reduced to prop him or Liz/Max (like in the moment where Rosa almost has to comfort Liz about Max loving her. Leave my kid out of this pls). But. Yeah. I also have some guesses as to where the Rosa vs. Max storyline will go now that a.) she has more control of her new powers, and b.) his resurrection is the one that’ll follow the Came Back Wrong pattern, but they’re half-formed/half-wishful thinking so far lol.
I love love love the physicality of Rosa’s scenes with Liz too, even if sometimes I’m bothered by other elements. I’m just amazed by how the actresses manage to make it come across that despite the obvious visuals, despite how ~youthful and reckless Rosa feels... she’s the older sister, still. That’s how she feels, and Liz gets ~swayed by this. Like how she bundles herself agaisnt Rosa’s chest for comfort (and in the second one, the transition to that after Liz holds Rosa’s face in her hands), or how Rosa talks about her “sweet little sister”, etc. It also helps making the relationship feel less proppy than it would otherwise --younger sisters doing something for their older ones feels different than the reverse, idk. I have Thoughts about this but they’re all tangled up with myself projecting stuff on them, so idk what I’m trying to convey here xDD
I’m less conflicted about Rosa/Isobel. STAY AWAY FROM HER ISOBEL. Seriously, I full on despise her now. Fuck her. At the beginning of the season it looked like I might start finding her interesting, but nah. That’s over. And in particular I want her as far away as possible from Rosa. I’m even surprised by the strength of my reaction lol, but I wanted to yell at her to take her dirty paws off Rosa xD (seriously, the scene where she puts her hand on Rosa’s chest felt so so creepy? Was that just me? Add that in Isobel’s comment about having a “threeway” and deugh. GO AWAY ISOBEL). And frankly, it’s hard to miss how Isobel is always at her worst with women of color (I’m wary of her attitude to men of color, after the blatant sexualization/mind control thing with Kyle or all her bullshit with Arturo, too). Her comments on Rosa’s addiction (let alone assaulting her or locking her body in a closet ofc) didn’t help her case. I really, really wish Rosa had chocked a bitch xD. BTW, I’ve seen people attribute Isobel’s shittiness to her connection to Max and his darkness when a.) we saw NO SIGNS of this, and b.) she’s been terrible from day one, okay xD. If the show goes there to absolve her of responsibility like it did in s1... ugh.
My connection was crappy af last week and I somehow missed Michael’s “help me move a body” scene until I saw the parallel done with the one this week and... did this bitch really joke about desecrating Rosa’s body in front of Liz’s face?? (who said nothing because she’s now completely on pod-people’s POV land, ofc. I had flashbacks to Delena joking about Caroline’s rape right there, too). Seriously, the pod-people, ALL of them, have an enourmous debt with Rosa (EVEN MORE NOW), and I really, really wish she collected.
I wish we’d seen Arturo & Arturo-Rosa stuff this episode. It’ll still be tainted by the circumstances (*hates Isobel even more*), but I’m very curious about them. And about how Rosa’s bio-father ties to this stuff --that side of Rosa’s family is being left out of things so far and I don’t like it, tbh. It seems to be simply because it’s too far from the pod-siblings circle of influence ¬¬. Or about how Arturo is processing all this (he still thinks Rosa drove and killed the two other girls and that Max is A Very Nice Boy *barfs*. I seriously resent the very real posibility that Rosa’s story will never be untangled, to her father and to the town).
Not-Rosa-centric stuff under the cut, I guess, because this is getting long xD
I also have mixed feelings about Maria’s scenes with Alex (and Maria’s scenes in general). OTOH, she looked amazing (this is important, js. It’s such a shame we didn’t see Michael’s reaction to that last outfit of hers *-*); I love the actor’s easy chemistry, too; and I think it’s very, very interesting, that Alex basically nudged Maria towards Michael and Miluca. OTOH, I dislike how the conversation immediately turned to supporting him, and especially the false equivalences between Maria falling for Michael and Alex contributing to the lies to her (though I don’t find him as responsibly for that as Michael and especially Liz --since it was Michael’s secret and he planned and struggled to tell her, while Liz was pretty comfortable keeping her in the dark except for her own emotional needs, and knew too well why those secrets could cost), or between looking at your mother’s search history and forgiving someone for keeping you in the dark and endangering your life, js. That he guilted her into forgiving Liz (and so fullfilling Maria’s prophecy about how Liz only struggled to tell her because she wanted support, and my own about how little her anger was allowed to last) made it worse.
I feel terrible for Kyle. You could feel the toll he’s taken smh. My heart broke a little when he told Liz “you called, I broke the speed limit”, too :/. His relationship with his mother is hanging on the balance after all his lies too, which doesn’t bode to well for him either. I liked the scene between him and Alex, at least, though I still don’t think I could ever ship them, given Kyle’s romantic history with someone that ALSO was hung up on another person, js.
Other people have talked about how Alex’s scenes with Michael often highlight his classism and how little it’s talked about in this fandom, but yeah. His comments about Michael’s “wasting” his life... I Felt that.
Related to that, Max’s comment about how someone “has to clean up [Michael’s] messes” is part of why the pod-siblinghood thing is never ever ever going to work for me, sns xDD. Sure, it’s mostly because I don’t like Max or Isobel at all, or Michael 40-50% of the time, but yeah, things like that, or Isobel assuring him of the BLATANT lie that Michael means as much to her and Max as each other... they make it harder to get into the ~spirit lol. Another issue is how TERRIBLE the editing to make them appear younger looks xDD
I had to, HAD TO, roll my eyes at Max’s martyrdom. Ooooh, he’s not doing this for HIMSELF, he would NEVER care about being in PAIN, he’s doing this for US. And the narrative conveniently doesn’t take him at his word and saves him, ofc, because’s he’s a lead and that’s what’s up. It was interesting seeing the other characters coming to acceptance at first, however --I hope it’s a Sign. There are other Signs (of Max’s narrative maaaaaaybe weak spots) that really *pop* in this episode. Like the fact that there’s doubt over who is more important to him, Liz or Isobel. In a show with a really strong male lead, the answer would unquestionably be Liz: she’d know it, Isobel would know it, we’d all know it. And sure, I know a lot of people would say that it’s “better” (?) for a show to acknowledge the ~importance of familial and platonic bonds~ and what not, but c’mon. I don’t doubt that if Liz had been white things would be different. But that’s not the case here. And there are strong arguments for Isobel being number one... like the fact that this amnesia plot in the promo seems to ONLY involve Liz? I mean, he seems to remember Isobel just fine. A male lead forgetting the love of his life is very, very tricky. OTOH this is good in the sense that I’m all for anything that makes Max take a fall... but his & Liz’s stories are too tangled up and I’d fear she’d surely go down with him :/
#roswell: new mexico#rosa ortecho#maria deluca#ortecho sisters#roswell thoughts#roswell spoilers#my thoughts#talking to the void#antimaxevans for ts#antimalex for ts#except not but i Say Something Negative so *sighs*#antiisobelevans for ts#kyle valenti#liz ortecho#antilizmax for ts#antimichaelguerin for ts#antipodsiblings for ts#bitter lau tag#favourites: soul siblings
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crash lands a giant animatronic john travolta (wild hogs era complete w a receding hairline n leather jacket) onto the dash n dismounts frm his back without any explanation as to my vehicle...... helo........ nw tht i’ve made the world’s most unsettling entrance i wil? introduce myself. i’m nai n i’m 23 n live in Manchestoh (typed w a fitting n blood curdlingly british accent). my pronouns r she/her n i currently want a pet baby yoda i can feed strawberries to n tuck into a tiny baby yoda sized bed. anyway. lana’s pinterest can b found HERE n more abt her is under the cut!!
KRISTINE FROSETH / CIS-FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that lana jameson i see? the 21 year old dance student is in their sophomore year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be exuberant, alluring, childish and impulsive, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in murphy’s beach homes. ( nai. 23. gmt. she/her. )
aesthetics: scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out into a cold breeze in just spaghetti strapped silk, a red lightening stripe painted over your eye like a new take on the scarlet letter, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off the bruised cap, doodling penises in condensation instead of sitting still, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, playing where’s waldo with your lipstick in the crowd of a party and finding red smudges on at least six people’s mouths, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open.
BACKGROUND:
lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”
lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him. jst a leetle bit Fractured in its intentions.
anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare
lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in
her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door
(dissociation tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family
the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents including a military father tht he found suffocating)
SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x
(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in and out of hospital twice nw n he’s currently dipped off the radar after starting to use. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her. she doesn’t talk abt this tho. when she feels the urge to cry she usually jst smiles
ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty
(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself
this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched
(violence tw) a mre recent point of history is her involvement w danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine who is possibly the antichrist??? pending investigation). he attended lockwood n lived in a house w a group of other guys. it wsn’t a registered frat bt he essentially…ran it like one it ws kind of a weird set-up where he ws the King Of The Roost. essentially he found out tht lana n zeke van doren (full name it’s official business Babey) slept together n he ended up beating him to near death in front of her bc his pride ws rly bruised since they were meant to be dating (if u can call it tht bc danny’s idea of dating is very Warped). ANYWAY he ws found guilty n sent dwn bt the trial ws only recent so. it was just intense all around. crosses my fingers across my chest to ward off his Evil
PERSONALITY:
growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out
she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r
uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another
PLOTS:
exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. worlds our oyster fellas!
#huntingtonintro#trauma tw#hospitalisation tw#hypersexuality tw#ptsd tw#death tw#grief tw#drugs tw#dissociation tw#this is. kind of beefy honestly bt feel free to jst skip to her personality section bc that's all u rly need to kno unless ur Curious!!
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