i just. i just…FUCK. i just really want harrowhark to go sicko mode when she realizes john has the power to resurrect whoever he wants he just chooses not to and even after learning about his own blood daughter he still doesn’t resurrect her he just makes her a construct. i would be alecto-levels of grief-stricken-enraged if my childhood nemesis/guard dog/whipping girl/codependent lesbian situationship that i lobotomized over/suicide-pact soulmate/only friend was suddenly here but not here haunting her own dead body and the only reason she’s present is because she was made into a fascist killing machine for a man with a power kink, and she’s not even happy about it but she’s going through the motions because all she knows of love is to be useful. (forever your sword.) and if i was harrow and i died and then came back to myself after switching bodies with the human cage holding the earth’s soul and realized all of this, i think i too would be accompanying the earth’s soul on her shoulder to go kill a man with eclipse-eyes and criminal levels of nonchalance. y’know. the one who guarded g1deon but not me, lord. the one who was so sure i had never seen that which lies insensate and with stilled mind, lord, who did not realize i was a lock and there was a key in the shape of a girl, lord. the one who looked me dead in the eye and told me i could never have my cavalier back, lord. the cavalier who came back haunted and empty and incomplete by your hand, lord.
i’m so team ‘harrowhark saves gideon for real this time not because she wants her cav but because she wants her other half’ i might lose my mind about it
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God, I'm now revisiting Harrow The Ninth and this book is just nothing short of one heartbreak after another.
I can't blame people for forgetting how deeply vulnerable of a person Harrow can be, she is constantly wearing a mask and we only get to hear of her from Gideons perspective, and for good reasons because if she was the one to narrate HtN? It would read as a constant breakdown.
She is dealing with so much that she doesn't understand, not just because she literally lobotomized herself, but also because she was never taught to understand grief. Ever since having to turn her parents into construct, probably even before that, she turned all her grief into guilt, but she can't do it anymore.
The worst part about all of that is that we're constantly being told that Harrow is behaving strange, she's being weird, the lyctors and Jod are treating her like she's some freak that needs fixing, that just needs to stop whining or that just needs to do something normal when she is experiencing the most normal emotions a human can experience.
She's going through grief! She lost the girl that was the whole world to her and they don't get it! Because they're not normal, the most normal person on this ship is Ianthe who shows no signs of grief for Babs whatsoever, they all can't begin to understand that Harrow, maybe for the first time in her life, is being incredibly normal about this situation!
She's being constantly belittled, Ianthe is treating her like a game (a game Ianthe is losing btw), she's being hunted for sport and the guy she thought she worshipped all her life is telling her to just make soup? The only person that even begins to understand her is the drowned out soul of Pyrrha, she's the only person trying to help Harrow and even she can't do much more
Gideon was right she told Ianthe she doesn't know the first thing about Harrow, nobody there did expect for Gideon, and the only thing Gideon could do was watch, it's heartbreaking.
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A lot of people hated the Mama puffy hc but I really liked it especially because she disowns c!Dream. It’s a moment that (if the hc was real) would’ve shown the very real truth that blood means nothing and parents can disown their children for any reason, valid or not. The idea that she denounces her own son hurts more because of this ingrained concept that a mother always loves her children, no matter what. I enjoy the topic quite a bit and I enjoy the angst that inevitably comes from it. It’s not that I want it to be canon, just that I enjoy the hc a lot.
i think mama puffy is whatever with fanwork but in canon it's obviously not true. i think c!puffy's whole entitled parasocial guardian thing is objectively funnier--woman, how are you gonna declare yourself this guy's guardian and then get Disappointed In Him when you think you have some special say over who he is and what he should do morally bc he helped you with ur chores that one time, what.
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after a long pause i finally finished my newest oc batch ^_^ this time for owl feather: the scholar's guild. the members are more or less different types of academics, or just nerds, with their own different niches. as usual, more specific info+closeups under the cut <3
Name: Mercury
Name Origin: The planet named after the messenger god
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 28
Guild rank: Guidmaster
Weapon: Caduceus
Ethos (Power): Aileron (Enhanced speed and levitation)
Flaw power is based on: Her evasiveness- Though her power has evolved (the levitation) once she became guildmaster as she became a pillar for her guild, and successor to the former guildmaster.
Notes: I can be your angle... or yuor devil
Name: Keid
Name Origin: A star whose name means eggshels
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 19
Guild rank: 3 star
Weapon: Chicken sickles
Ethos (Power): Computative prognostication (He can calculate the outcome of events in his own head, but he can’t see outcomes beyond the one he calculated)
Flaw power is based on: His overly cautious and ruminative habits, though he tries to play it off like he's way more chill and not constantly existentially overthinking
Notes: But which came first...?
Name: Alasia
Name Origin: A star whose name references Idalion Tablet, one of the oldest known contracts
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 15
Guild rank: 2 star
Weapon: Shovel
Ethos (Power): Erudition (Psychometry- The ability to read the past of any object by touch)
Flaw power is based on: Her extreme curiosity, while her inquisitiveness on it's own can be admirable she can often get obsessive about it.
Notes: She's an archeologist <3
Name: Dimidium
Name Origin: Exoplanet whose name means "half"
Pronouns: He/She
Age: 22
Guild rank: 4 star
Weapon: Double-ended flail
Ethos (Power): Vice-versa (Healing and reverse healing)
Flaw power is based on: His simultaneous obsequiousness and brashness- Two extremes that she fluctuates between in a way that's both unpredictable and unhealthy.
Notes: Generally stoic either way so it's hard to tell...
Name: Navi
Name Origin: Informal name for γ Cassiopeiae- A navigation point for Apollo 1
Pronouns: He/they
Age: 19
Guild rank: 3 star
Weapon: Arm
Ethos (Power): Kefi (Energy direction- He can channel his energy into powerful attacks into his weapon of choice, which they designed to be their own arm)
Flaw power is based on: Their over-zealous nature. Though passion is a good thing, their ferventness can absolutely make him lose track of himself.
Notes: A weaponsmith who’s figuring out more technological approaches
Name: Talitha
Name Origin: A star system, whose name means "Spring"
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 13
Guild rank: 1 star
Weapon: Plastic wand
Ethos (Power): Metamorphosis (Magical girl transformation. She can shoot beams out of her wand now.)
Flaw power is based on: Her extreme tendency for escapism, especially in idolizing fantasy.
Notes: She's a magical girl 💖💖💖
Name: Misam
Name Origin: A star whose name means "wrist"
Pronouns: They/them
Age: 28
Guild rank: 5 star
Weapon: Wrist blade
Ethos (Power): Rigor (Enhanced precision)
Flaw power is based on: Their surprisingly to-the-point, often cold-blooded nature.
Notes: Nerds can be cool too, guys.
Name: Perwana
Name Origin: An exoplanet whose name means moth
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 27
Guild rank: 5 star
Weapon: Lantern
Ethos (Power): Callous luminance (Physically palpable hard light, created from her lantern)
Flaw power is based on: Her tenancy to place the burden of guidance onto herself- Literally a guiding light for others. Mostly in regards to erudition, the symbolic connection between illumination and knowledge. She wants to illuminate everyone. But this can be at the cost of herself.
Notes: These are her summer clothes.
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