#she feels very real and human
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I think applying tropes commonly found in Sonadow fics to other sonic ships is very funny
Like today I saw the cute posts by Blu-ish about how hedgehogs circle and headbutt eachother when courting and how Sonic and Shadow would do that and I agree.
However I think the implication that mobian hedgehogs do this is HILARIOUS when applied to ships that only involve one hedgehog.
Like Silver starts circling around Espio one day and lightly shoving him with his hip or his shoulder and Espio is like: ???? What are you doing??
Or even Blazamy like- Amy keeps circling Blaze and the less Blaze reciprocates Amy does it more to try to get Blaze to react. Blaze eventually just tries to politely tell Amy to stop cause it’s hard to hold conversation while she’s moving all around.
But later Blaze talks to Silver and is like: “I have no idea what she is trying to do…perhaps she is finding a weakness in my stance? Should I fear her hunting me for sport???”
And Silver is like: uh. Well. I think she’s hitting on you? It’s a hedgehog thing.
And Blaze just freaks out because WHAT DO YOU MEAN AMY WAS FLIRTING WITH HER
#silver would hold that over Blazes head for way too long#cause for the FIRST TIME HE KNEW SOMTHING SHE DIDNT HAHAHA#honetsly another Sonadow trope that I think would be interesting to see with other ships is the paw thing?#like yes some Sonadow fics are very strange about it I’ll admit#BUT#I really like the idea that the gloves are a culture thing it’s just very fun to think of how mobian culture would differ from human culture#like ofc I’m an espilver trigger so my brain goes there like#I love the headcannon that Espio reads romance novels#but I also feel like on Mobius a lot of romance tropes would be things usually done by mammals#since just like in real life I headcannon that mammals are commonly seen as cuter than reptiles even in Sonics world#so Espio gets a little self conscious about such things (cuz he’s a teenager and worries a lot)#he doenst ahve soft fur to cuddle or ears to flick or paw pads#but I feel like if he were to show silver his hands silver would not even care about such things#because silver just loves Espio cuz he’s Espio#looking back on my tags and noticing typos is so embarrassing lmao#like uh I meant to write espilver truther above….not trigger#Aw well whatever#silver the hedgehog#sth#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#espio the chameleon#amy rose#espilver#sonadow#blaze the cat#blazamy
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I feel bad for the folks that aren't listening to the fireside chats, cuz this is a completely different podcast without the insight into the characters' thought process
#what do you MEAN suvi thinks of herself as the person in the group that cares about human casualties.#i feel crazy. im so team suvi im sorry#i think ame is operating on like a very large scale and not sharing that with suvi#and suvi is looking at the tangible real world right now consequences and coming to reasonable conclusions based on what she sees#this post brought to you by: me#worlds beyond number#wbn#wwwo
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And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.
I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.
Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!
Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.
But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?
Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.
The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.
The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.
Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.
I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.
As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.
But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.
And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.
If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.
It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".
So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.
Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.
But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.
Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.
We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.
Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?
#also ok i know this turned into a philosophical post but like#i'm still just talking about fucking anime#so please for the love of god i don't want to be seeing anyone using this post as a way to play devil's advocate on real actual war crimes#human conflict in and of itself is an enigmatic inevitability but blatant actions of genocide and colonization are not#and that was made VERY clear by the end of the series through eldians and marlayans putting aside their differences to take out eren#also ymir being in love with king fritz was a bit of a weird thing to do but that's for another post#i think it spoke more to her just being that desperate for connection that she fell into an abusive relationship#but idk it could have been executed better esp because a lot of the 'romance' in AoT is weird#still i really enjoyed the finale tbh and i don't think we're supposed to be left feeling strictly one way about it#the fact that we're arguing over whether or not the finale was good is literally just proving isayama right ngl LOL#attack on titan#attack on titan finale#attack on titan spoilers#shingeki no kyojin#shingeki no kyojin finale#shingeki no kyojin spoilers#essay post#long post#tw genocide#tw war
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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I see a lot of meta talking about how the John Verses are John telling the story of the leadup to the apocalypse with the most sympathetic biased self-justifying gloss to make it sound like nothing was his fault, and I guess that's why so many readings go for a hardline worst-faith interpretation of them, but.... I don't really see it.
When he tells about how he murdered everyone who had a gun, he could have played up the self-defense angle. He could have claimed he was scared, and he did it to protect everyone. He could have emphasized that he was killing cops, instead of emphasizing the civilians. He could have stuck with the story he told at the time, that he freaked out and made a mistake and hadn't meant to kill them all. He doesn't. He admits to mass murder, and he admits to having done it because he was angry. And he admits to still not regretting it one bit.
The story John tells just doesn't paint him in the best possible light. He does include all of the justifications he used at the time, he does explain why on earth any of this ever seemed like a good idea to anyone, and he does want to be understood, but he doesn't really try to sell it as having been right.
I really don't see the verse chapters as being John's justification. They're his confession. That's why they feel so good to condemn.
#the locked tomb#emperor john gaius#ntn spoilers#nona the ninth#he isn't even really looking for absolution#whenever Harrow/Alecto says she still loves him he HATES it#the last time he says there can be no forgiveness Harrow asks him for whom#and he doesn't answer#he knows exactly what he is#amd whether there can be forgiveness or not does remain to be seen#just feeling like shit about it does jackshit#he hasn't done a goddamn thing in his life to try to make up for or to even stop ACTIVELY CAUSING harm#amd that's where the real challenge lies#but it's exhausting to me to see him engaged with as a Symbol Of Evil rather than as a human being#he was a person and he got very very very angry for aot of very good reasons and some not so good ones#this is the big boy all grown up version of the scene where Gideon strangled Harrow to the brink of death#the part where I hurt you#and how do you come back from that?#john has decided that you can't#you can't come back you can only double down#and it just doesnt feel right to agree with him on that
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2023 reads
The Deep Sky
scifi mystery thriller
on a deep space mission traveling from an environmentally devastated earth with hope to restart humanity elsewhere
when they’re halfway, an explosion kills 3 crew and pushes them off course
the only witness is the Alternate who has no specific role, and she has to figure out who caused it & if they might continue to sabotage, while they're figuring out a way to get back on course with limited resources
flips between present and the past: of her childhood and training for the mission, her identity struggles, and relationship with her mother
questions the ethics of ‘restarting’ humanity elsewhere vs putting resources into fixing earth
#the deep sky#yume kitasei#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i really loved this!!!!!#very intense but also a lot of interesting character introspection#love the virtual reality AI aspect!!!! though I do feel like. in the end I was expecting it to go way further with it?#(basically like instead of seeing the inside of the ship all the time they can 'be' in forests or aquariums or whatever)#no romance#(there’s side lesbians; and one flashback scene where she briefly wonders about kissing a random person; that's it)#emotional core about her mother and brother and best friend !!#i like that it gets into the flaws of 'humanity's last hope on another planet' bc like. yeah in real life things....don't work like that...#why is there zero acknowledgement that the concept of every one of them being expected to give birth being extremely fucked up?#like obviously everyone on board is there because they agreed with that but there’s not a single flashback of#when they found out that information; or mention of someone questioning it...#(for example a character mentions that they hid their mental health/use of a therapy animal bc they wouldn't have been let in and the -#eugenics around that is iffy to say the least)#but to me. pregnancy is horrifying and nobody questioning that was weird.#also there’s supposedly 80 people on board but we get to know less than 10 of them which felt a bit strange at points#Also! I love the cover. I can’t find the designer (the book info only credits the internal lllustrator..)#also: bird facts!
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i'm confused. are you and milleniallustfordeath not together?
my posts about having 0 bitches aren't an exaggeration
#we have been internet and now real life friends for a very long time#and she's my favorite human who i'm lucky enough to annoy/entertain virtually on a daily basis#but we're not romantically involved#sorry to wreck your ship#i've been essentially single for what feels like an eternity#so if you're looking to change that anon my dms are open
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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT
#EVERYONE#NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER#i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving#literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things#for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW#so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing#so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan#OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG#& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted#to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it#i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN#like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...
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On the next episode of Are Maleness and Sadism Interlinked or Am I Just Weird About My Masculinity and Kink
#my tranny sex mysticism is cooler than your cissy sex mysticism#although gender in general is a construct and everyone ties things to their gender which have little or no#real connection to anything like that#bc gender is identity#clothes are the easiest example but#i think i understand when people say stuff that sounds nonsensical like 'my gender is venus flytrap'#because gender is identity and if its a big thing in your identity you kinda like#connect it to your femaleness or maleness or both neither other#like when a girl fights shes still feminine kicking ass and that doesnt make her any less good at kicking ass#or when a guy does his nails it can very much be a masculine thing for him#its all made up and based on vague feelings and concepts#so sure conservatives feel free to identify as an ak47 you know its not a gotcha#and radfems feel free to keep calling me a monster it makes me hard <3#but yea like. identity is both complex and simple. its the human condition to identify with things#and i dont think 'neogenders' are particularly new i just think we had different words or no words for that#but people have and always will identify with anything and everything#thats human nature. we mirror and absorb and grow#even twin sisters experience femaleness differently or even call it different things#girlhood or being a lady etc etc#even within the cishet society gender is not as simple as authoritarians would like you to believe#anyway yeah my gender identity is sadistic male aligned freak and other things
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can you elaborate on gender with the twelfth doctor... im spinning she/her pronouns for twelve around in my head so much it gives me life. even if you dont feel like/dont have any further elaboration i want to thank you for introducing me to that concept
because she's a girl...? i don't understand the question she's just a girl
#i am being facetious; thank you very much for the kind ask!#real answer is that pronouns can be kind of an aesthetic choice#like a new outfit or haircut#and it's a choice i could see the doctor making#i think the doctor is always sort of apathetic about gender regardless of the body they're in#and will go by whatever pronouns people perceive them by because it saves time#and why waste time explaining their gender when they could be talking about the planets .#so calling themself a 'man' or a 'woman' is for the sake of not confusing their human companions who care more about that sort of thing#than they do rather than actually seeing themself that way#and i can also see them feeling a sort of joy if friends were to refer to them with pronouns that don't match their perceived gender#because it shows a deeper understanding of who they are#again i think this regardless of body; i think ten would happily respond to she/her pronouns or thirteen with he/him etc etc#but twelve sticks out to me so much a.) because she's my favorite#and b.) because i think she cares the least about what other people think of her#doctor who#delia.txt
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Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!
you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?
#ask#bakuspeech#I am joking to be clear lmao#thank u happy bday to me !!#tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me#cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly#so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around#I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know#I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited#and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead#and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak#listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story#it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao#but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol#it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did#I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u#lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here#the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games'#my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad
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ROSE QUARTZ/PINK DIAMOND GOT DONE DIRTY BY THE SU FANDOM, AND THE SHOW ITSELF
Quick disclaimer: I will admit, upfront, that part of the reason I’m even making a vent post of ANY kind of all is because I’m just not in a good place right now in general, and I just need to scream at something. That being said, that doesn’t make my feelings towards this any less real.
I’ve already talked about this a couple times before in the past, but I really do, legitimately, hate the treatment Rose/Pink got in the later parts of Steven Universe, both the main series and Future.
Look, I almost feel that it could have been a good thing in a way, since Rose was kind of put on a pedestal for most of the show’s first half, and seeing as how the series was about Steven discovering himself, and trying to step out from his mother’s shadow, I feel like, if this was handled better, it could have probably been really good.
But dang, this was NOT the way to do it.
Did Pink Diamond, both as herself and in her guise of Rose Quartz, do awful things? Absolutely.
She hurt her Pearl.
She abandoned Spinel.
She made impulsive, and even selfish, decisions.
But she also turned against her fellow Diamonds, her FAMILY, to protect the earth.
She faked her own shattering so she could keep fighting for the same planet she was originally meant to colonize.
She looked after others and cared for life, both human and gem.
Pink did a LOT wrong, but neither her past actions from when she was still a Diamond, or the mistakes she made as Rose Quartz, change the fact that she spent the entire rest of her existence trying to do good, to change, and become a better person.
And it really DOES strike a chord with me that the fandom, and even the SHOW ITSELF, act like she’s some horrible reprehensible villain especially since it seems to ring very true for how some treat people in the real world who used to do/say some not-so-great things, even if it’s been literal years since then, and they’re genuinely different people from who they were back then. Yeah...it kind of hits just a bit close to home for me...
It just doesn’t sit well with me that someone like WHITE DIAMOND can be forgiven, while Pink, the one Diamond who dared to turn against Homeworld and fight to protect the life of a planet that wasn’t hers, is the universally-agreed upon hated character.
Whether her reasons were ultimately altruistic or selfish, that doesn’t change the fact that she protected the earth and cared for the people she came to love, the best she could, until the day she gave up her physical form.
TL; DR: PINK DIAMOND WAS A VERY FLAWED, BUT ULTIMATELY NUANCED AND HUMAN CHARACTER, AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE SU FANDOM, OR THE SHOW ITSELF, FOR TREATING HER LIKE A MONSTER WHEN SHE WASN’T.
#rhys-ravenfeather signing on#steven universe#rose quartz su#pink diamond su#do NOT go into my askbox or notes to bash me i am NOT in the mood#real talk though--the show's been over for a couple years now; i know this is stupid#and like i said i've talked about this a couple times before#this is just something that's been on my mind for a while especially with some stuff i saw fairly recently#and i needed to get it out#tbh pink/rose might very well be one of my favorite characters of all time because of how interesting her story was#and like i said how REAL and HUMAN (for a literal space rock) she feels#and i hate hate HATE how she's been treated#also yeah like i said...not in a good place right now...i just needed to vent
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there was a scene in the manga where hakuno was being strangled HELP!! /j but even then hakuno was asking the attacker (julius) "why are you making that face?" because hakuno could tell that he was suffering deep down 🥹🥹😭😭😭 and we get a julius monologue: "i didn't want to accept that i still had these feelings within me. let alone have this guy see through them. i hate it..."
IT SAYS A LOT ABT HAKUNO METHINKS!!! and these lines too.... i love hakuno's heart sm istg 😭❤️ + how well written the hakuno-julius development is..!!!! hakuno being nice doesn't magically fix everything and there's a lot that happens ue ue uee 😭
i'm trying to keep this hakuno-relevant but PLS IM IN SHAMBLES BC the manga adaptation rlly told us that "if there was one salvation he could've gotten, it would've been having someone who could understand his agony."
and then cue hakuno kishinami-
#&&. out of#AAAA I HOPE I COULD SUM IT UP IN A WAY THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE-#cuz ik a lot of my moots aren't v familiar with f.ate/e.xtra!! but i rlly loved these h.akuno scenes so 🥺🙏#i had 2 post it..!!!! IT RLLY IS SO VERY H.AKUNO......#/and also real quick- tysm for interactin with my silly lil blog despite that 🥹🫶 IT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL SO EPIC GRAHH#BUT YEAH#i rlly love the way h.akuno interacts with others 🥺🥺 u can tell she's vv considerate and perceptive#but also very eager to learn more and understand others as individuals- which is ironic considering her view of herself orz#but that's what makes it interesting!!!!#i also just love her kindness okok 😭😭 and how h.akuno becomes more empathetic and human as she interacts with more people#/MUFFLED SOUND AS I SOB INTO MY GRUBBY RACCOON HANDS
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like. Nina listens to Taylor, moderately keeps up with the front-facing aspects of her life, enjoys her quality, has her minor critiques, recognizes her place in the current culture, can set her down and do other things when she wants to, and most importantly knows who Taylor is through her art.
#you cannot engage with Taylor completely casually it doesn’t work#you won’t get to know her#you have to let her in. go on a sunset walk with your headphones in and open your heart to her and just HEAR her#and then once you know who she is you can go from there#but there absolutely is this level of refusing to get to know her#and I am truly (once again) not addressing people who have that door simply closed (my mom! my older sister!)#people whose opinions matter so much to me#but I am talking to the people who wrestle and want to love her but actually hate her and idk. I feel that it is something where—-#well it’s like people isn’t it. you have to get to know her without judgment#and without bias#you have to know her FROM her#(which does not involve Easter eggs OR celebrity headlines if you hate both of those things#and then if you don’t like her you do in fact have to leave without making that other people’s problem#especially Taylor’s!#I am thinking of this girlboss journalist who wrote a piece on Taylor the other day#that was LIVID with Taylor for sharing only positive reviews on her insta story#(as is not only Taylor’s right but literally normal behavior??????????)#and was practically foaming at the mouth about how Taylor’s level of power was getting scary#and it’s like. I’m so sorry for swearing but BITCH#a lot of the numbers are out of Taylor’s control and also NOT REAL. Taylor also DESERVES her success and is simply doing her job very well#and riding the waves of virality she knows how to create in ADDITION to that#also stop worshipping power and money!!!! the way you clearly do!!!!!!!#Taylor is not doing anything with it except her job!!!!!!!!!!!!!#she is also CLEARLY a human being who suffers#SEE HER AS SUCH#and end it THERE#INSANE#turning off reblogs for this one#because I have gotten carried away but wow
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Asking for a friend: would Crystal, Vick, or Ellie wear a dress?
Scratch that. Would any of the cast wear a dress?
Also I lied I’m asking because I’m gay.
yes. and yes
okay you could realistically say that some of the characters are not entirely familiar with dressing up or prefer to dress other ways but that's beside the point. put them in dresses
#yes vick MIGHT be more likely to wear a suit jacket but. she can wear a dress for fun#dsasks#I feel like people who complain about dresses have never worn a real one before#no. ugly cotton dresses you wore when you were 10 don't count#I mean ones that you put on and you see the universe and realize you're a human being#okay. that's probably a very genderqueer thing for me to say
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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