↳ Index [Snippet #40 - Annoying]
"When Jungkook acts like the annoying idiot you fell in love with."
Genre: married life!AU, Fluff
Warnings: Kookie being annoying and cute <33, a summer holiday, our queen OC suffers from holiday indigestion rip to her, she describes her poop to him in vivid detail, listen!! they’re married and in love and the intimacy they share makes me weak
Wordcount: 1.2k
a/n: i had this thought that "dookie" would be actually a really cute (and annoying<3) nickname. And i think that out of all my bois, ogc!koo is the best candidate for such a nickname. So here we are, enjoy this cute lil fluff piece 🧡
Your husband is where you left him. He is lounging on the sun bed under the shadow of the straw umbrella, wearing nothing more than black swimming shorts and a pair of dark sunglasses perched atop his nose. The only jewelry he wears is his wedding ring, his piercings and a small fake shark tooth pendant on a leather string, which you both got from the street vendor in front of the hotel. He is currently on his phone, moving his foot in a mindless rhythm.
You and he went on a vacation together. Very far away from home. So far in fact, that you had to take a plane to get there. And it was the best decision ever. The beaches are beautiful, the ocean is clean and has just the right temperature and the hotel is gorgeous. Food is amazing as well, but there was one problem with that. You haven’t been able to take a shit ever since you started this holiday and this was five days ago. You can barely fit any more food inside, your stomach has been hard from everything collecting in there and you have been suffering from a strong tummy ache for two days already, but no matter what you did, you just couldn’t get your body to work. Jungkook had less problems this way. This complete traitor already went to the toilet three times. Unlike you, who still hasn’t been able to go.
That is until today when the sudden urge to poop overcame you as you and Jungkook enjoyed piña coladas by the ocean. You abandoned Jungkook by the beach and ran to get back to your room.
Now, almost an hour later you are back.
Jungkook turns his head to you when he feels your presence. He lowers his phone.
“And? What’s the status?” he asks.
You lie down on the sun bed next to him, letting out a long sigh.
“I did it.”
“Yaaay, let’s go”, Jungkook cheers quietly, throwing his fists in the air in tiny motions, “no more tummy aches for you.”
“Yeah, I guess but I can’t be happy yet.”
“Why? That bad?”
“It was a warzone. You have no idea what I’ve just been through. I have PTSD just thinking about it. I had the sweats and everything, even had to take off my clothes and I kept gripping the edge of the sink and even had to put my feet up higher. I stacked like three toilet rolls for that.”
“Damn.”
“And it smelled so bad. You have no idea, I stank up the entire room so bad that I had to leave the windows open when I left.”
“Oh no, that bad?”
“Yeah, that bad. I was constipated at first until it shot outta me like a torpedo and I thought it was over until I got a tummy cramp and then I started to explosive diarrhea everywhere.”
“Ooh damn okay that sounds traumatic.”
“It was traumatic. My ass hurts and I still feel dirty even though I took a shower. With two rounds of soap. But I had to do it in like my own toxic shit fumes and I think they’re burned into my nostril hairs because I can still smell it.”
Jungkook cracks up.
“Awww baby, you’re my little stinker now”, he teases, nudging your arm playfully, “my little stinkbug.”
“No, stop, don’t call me that”, you whine, “it’s already embarrassing enough.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, my stinkbug. It’s only natural to shit.”
“I told you not to call me that”, you get out under your breath, hitting his thigh gently, “what if someone hears you?”
Jungkook snickers, “and it’s okay for you to describe your traumatising shit to me in vivid detail?”
“Yeah, ‘cause I did it quietly. I know you, you’re just gonna call me stinker for the rest of the day and that’s embarrassing.”
Jungkook snickers, “I think it’s cute. My little stinker”, he says and leans over to smooch your cheek.
“Shut up, you’re so annoying”, you mumble, nudging his chest.
“Mhm and you married me, so you love it.”
You roll your eyes at him, letting out a small chuckle.
“You’re annoying”, you say fondly and rest back on the sun bed.
“I’m happy for you though”, Jungkook says, caressing your tummy gently, “I was suffering with you. Holiday indigestions are the worst.”
“Yeah, I’m happy too. Traumatised but happy.”
He chuckles, squeezing your thigh. You laugh, patting his hand.
“Hey, my stinker?” Jungkook asks then.
“Urgh, shut up. What?”
“Can you lotion up my back? I wanna go for a swim, but I’m scared to burn”, Jungkook asks as he already turns his back to you.
“Yeah, of course”, you say, sitting up so you can comfortably reach his back. You own one of those sunscreens which comes in a spray bottle. You spray it directly onto Jungkook’s back, earning yourself a loud yelp of shock from him.
“This is so cold. No. Don’t do that”, he whines, trying to writhe away which only makes you spray more cream onto his back.
“It’s what you get for calling me stinker”, you say with a shiteating grin on your lips.
“Wah, you’re so mean”, he says, making you chuckle.
You place the bottle aside and connect your hands with his back to spread the sunscreen evenly. His body is very clearly warmed up from the summer heat, his back feels hot under your palms. You are sure that a swim in the cool water will do him good.
“Make sure to get the tattoos”, he says.
“I am”, you promise him, “don’t worry.”
“Thanks, stinky.”
“Do. Not.”
You pinch his sides, making him squeak and writhe away.
“Don’t call me that.”
You tickle him again, forcing him to laugh and fight you off with his hands.
“Stinky, please.”
“Don’t call me that”, you warn as laughter escapes you and your fingers squeeze his ticklish waist even harder.
“Sorry fine sorry, I yield”, he gives up, twisting around so he is facing you, “you win, don’t tickle me”, he laughs, pushing your hands away gently.
You grin in triumph, “good.”
Then you reach for the face sunscreen, opening it.
“Good idea”, Jungkook says, closing his eyes in anticipation.
You spread an even layer of sunscreen on his face and neck, making sure to get his ears as well. The remnants of the sunscreen, you spread on his shoulders.
“Do you need it reapplied on your arms as well?” you ask him.
“No, I managed to get everything else. It was just the back I struggled with.”
“Okay, then you’re good to go.”
“Thanks, sweetheart”, he says and gets up, “do you wanna join me?”
“No thank you”, you let out in a breathy laugh, shaking your head, “I still need to recover.”
“Okay. See you later, my dookie”, he says and grins.
“Jungkook”, you gasp, gawking at him with widened eyes.
Jungkook laughs and turns to jog down to the water with snickers of mischief leaving him.
“You’re annoying!” you call after him with your eyes racing over the other people to see if somebody had heard him. It seems that nobody did. You are simply yet another couple teasing each other lovingly in a sea of strangers.
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Hey folk! Thank you for today’s tags @alexalexinii @nausikaaa @shrekgogurt @iamamythologicalcreature @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @artsyunderstudy, and thanks everyone who's kept tagging me even though I've been hugely absentee.
Am I back and engaging with fandom regularly? Well, I make absolutely zero promises. It’s been an exhausting three months (rl + fibro) but hopefully I’ll be more involved again soon.
Here is an excerpt from upcoming chapter 5 of For All Intents and Purposes, with Baz having an unsolicited encounter on Santa Monica pier.
“Hey.”
I startle. I heard the man approach, but I didn’t think he’d speak to me. Maybe he just wants some space to read the boards. I make room for him without looking up, offering a perfunctory “hey.”
“I heard your accent,” he says. “You’re an English guy.”
When I look, I see a California cliche. Thick dark blond hair to his shoulders, with a shark’s tooth pendant hanging on a leather cord over his bare chest. He smiles at me with unmatched ease. He could have stepped straight out of a surf magazine centrefold.
I don’t arch a brow. I may lower them, despite my efforts at civility. Who just walks up to strangers and talks to them?
“I am,” I say before returning to the board. Apparently the pier is a designated U.S. National Historic Landmark. It seems reasonable that one hundred years would justify–
“That’s awesome. I competed in a surf competition in Newquay a couple of years ago.”
What does he want, a medal? Well, he should have won one at the competition.
Here are some snippets from the mood board that relate to chp 4. @erzbethluna did a solid job of summing up Baz's struggles.
And the contrast between the clothing favoured by Simon and Baz.
Tags below the cut!
@facewithoutheart @captain-aralias @raenestee @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral @stitchyqueer @ileadacharmedlife @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @whogaveyoupermission @nightimedreamersworld @fatalfangirl @thewholelemon @onepintobean @theearlgreymage @martsonmars @blackberrysummerblog @orange-peony @palimpsessed @valeffelees @j-nipper-95 @rimeswithpurple @wellbelesbian @imagineacoolusername @youarenevertooold @supercutedinosaurs @bookish-bogwitch @cosmicalart @bazzybelle @theotherhufflepuff @that-disabled-princess
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the two stinkies as teens
ALSO MADE MIKE’S (fanmade) SON LMFAO
Brock gets his eyes from his papa 🫡 here are the two, the cousins- they somehow get along kinda well even though Brock hated Evan since what Steven did to Mike, buuuut they end up making up and being close and Brock relentlessly always talks to Evan while Evan is just awkward and quiet
A STRANGE DUO THAT MADE SHIT WORK
Fun facts-
BROCK:
- 19
- has a shark tooth pendant
- plays bass guitar
- is 5’6 and 155 lbs
- is a pothead
- Is extremely extroverted and always bribes Evan to open up
- expelled from Trainer’s school for being related to Steven (uncle)
- calls Steven ‘oldass’
- has his dad’s optimistic attitude
- is his cousin’s personal cheerleader
EVAN:
- 16
- doesn’t hate his father for what he did but had a hard time processing it
- is 6'0??? Genetics
- was also expelled from Trainer’s school for being Steven’s son
- hates to be compared to Steven, as he constantly gets compared to him
- has (mosiac) down syndrome
-has a pet frog named greenie which he stole from a park as a kid
- has a few toys given to him by Mike when Evan was little (a charmander and squirtle plush)
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Scenes from the dead space au that I keep thinking about:
The whole thing about Sapnap not wanting to look George in the face and George making him feel his face instead, because it’s very tender but also very sad because Sapnap is so guilty and upset about not being able to look at him still.
Punz buying Foolish a shark tooth pendant (a fake one because sharks have long since gone extinct but they’re still Foolish’s fav animal), because Foolish keeps reaching for his Marker pendant that he long since threw away. Punz ends up stalling giving it to him because they’re never alone and he’s over thinking things just a little bit.
Karl refuses to sleep for days due to nightmares, until Foolish manages to convince him to take a nap with him while Punz promises to stay up and keep watch, just to make him feel safe. The nap turns into a 12 hour sleep and Karl decides Foolish is the best pillow ever.
Sapnap fixating on Dream’s face because he can’t look at George, and then starts doing the same with their new friends which leads to varying reactions.
Sapnap convincing Punz to stop overthinking his feelings for Foolish and just confess already. This leads to a roundabout conversation where Punz very casually states he thinks Sapnap is attractive, and Sapnap can not get that out of his head.
Dream being mildly inconvenienced and distressed anytime anyone goes for a coffee run and bring the foul smelling bean water into their tiny shared room/apartment. If he’s lucky someone will take a walk with him to get some fresh air (they preferably only leave in pairs or trios, so if no one wants to go out with him he’s out of luck).
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