#seungmin hurt/comfort | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yongbokkari · 11 months

Text

interrupted ₊˚. ୭̥

𖦹 pairing — bf!seungmin x reader

𖦹 word count — 1.5k+

𖦹 warnings — hurt/comfort, fluff, slight angst, veeeery small misunderstanding, pet names of babe and baby, seungmin had a bad day and accidentally released it on reader 😿🙏🏻🙏🏻

a/n — result of sentences formed on multiple of 3 am-s (also posting this at 3 am), hope you enjoyyy <33 oh and there may be a few like undercase letters lolol we'll see if i am willing to find them

You were resting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, waiting for Seungmin to arrive. As soon as you heard the sound of keys jangling, you immediately got up and opened the door before he could even try to unlock it.

You were standing there, waiting for him to come in, but he judt stared at you as if not expecting to see you. "You're here," he said, his face full of signs of exasperation, tired after a long day at work.

"Am i not supposed to?" You joked, raising your eyebrows. but he just muttered a 'nevermind' before walking past you. "Long day?" you asked, attempting to make conversation with him, in hopes that it could distract him from the tiredness.

"Yeah. Think im gonna shower then take a nap," You had made a joke then, about him getting old and acting like an old man, attempting to lighten his mood. "Whatever," he replied to your jokes, making his way to his bedroom and you followed.

"Ah, come on. Old man can't take a joke anymore?" You giggled, poking at his sides when he just stopped in his tracks and turned to you.

"Can you just stop? I'm already having a bad enough day so you can you please stop bothering me?" He snapped, eyes tired but also glaring at you at the same time.

You were shook by the slight raise and edge to his voice so you couldn't really think of anything to reply to him. A few moments passed with you just staring at him and him you.

"Why are you even here," You heard Seungmin mutter before turning away from you, closing the bedroom door and leaving you alone.

"Right," you said to yourself. "Why am i even here?" it wasn't unusual for you to appear at Seungmin's house at random times, and he even made a spare key for you. But that didn't mean you could just come whenever you wanted to.

You gathered your things and got out of the house to drive yourself home. You weren't mad at him, far from it even. Of course you weren't, you didn't have the right to be.

You were more worried about what he said though. Were you really bothering him? Should you just stop going to his house unannounced again? You probably should. He probably just gave you a key just in case he lost his.

When you got home, you immediately started an assignment that was put on hold for quite long, hoping that it could distract you. It seemed seungmin had wanted some distance and space, so you were set on working on it until he reached out so you'd know when it was okay between you.

˖❁ˎˊ•°.

You were typing away on your laptop, earphones plugged in, slightly bobbing your head to the song playing, when you heard a knock on the door. You yelled, allowing your housemate to come in. Except it wasn't her, and when you turned back you were surprised to see your boyfriend with a frown on his face.

"Min?" You paused the song and took off your earphones, turning around to your boyfriend directly behind you. "Min, what are you doing here?"

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" He asked, ignoring your question. he looked absolutely tired, you wondered if he even got to sleep before coming here.

"Texts? My phone..." You looked around the desk you were working on, searching for your phone, discovering that it was on your bed. So you walked over to pick it up to check your notifications but the screen remained dark as you pressed the power button. "Ah... my battery ran out," You lightly chuckled, looking at Seungmin.

"Why didn't you charge your phone then?" He asked, his facial expression serious. It almost scared you how serious he looked, worrying if he had texted you about something important.

"I didn't notice my battery was low... and i was using my laptop for work, so i didn't check," You gestured to the laptop sitting on the desk. "Did you have something important to tell me? I'm so sorry Min, for not being there, I-" Your words were cut off when seungmin just pulled you in for a hug. You immediately wrapped your arms around his waist.

"So you're not ignoring me?" He asked. Usually, you were the one who had to reach up slightly to hug him since he always insisted on seeing you on the tip of your toes. But this time it was him who lowered his body, tucking his chin on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Min, why would i ignore you?" You asked, genuinely curious as to how he had come to that thought. Then he sighed, as if relieved his worries were only what-ifs afterall. You started to rub his back then, and he had started to give in to your body warmth, almost letting his whole weight fall into your care.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did."

You racked your brains for a while, honestly having forgotten about what happened back at his house.

"Oh, that? You don't need to apologize, Min. You were tired, I understand."

"No, it was unreasonable. I shouldn't have let my tiredness out on you," He insisted.

"Then it's fine, I forgive you," you replied, to which he silently thanked you by placing a soft kiss on your shoulder, still not breaking the hug. "But... do you really think so?" He hummed, questioning what you meant. "Do i really bother you?" he slowly pulled away, looking at your face.

"I won't get mad or upset Min, i promise. I don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable because of me. So just tell me what you feel, and I'll act on it, I promise." You said, holding his hands in yours, affirming him that whatever his reply was, you were going to be fine and it won't cause even a slight damage to the relationship, if that was what he was worried about.

He only looked at you then, eyes darting from your left eye to the right, back and forth, mouth a bit downturned, and you were starting to get afraid that what you said made him upset when he cradled your left cheek in his hand.

"You're so good to me," he muttered, frown slightly deepening. "No, i didn't mean it, I don't know why I said that," he threw his head back and blew from his mouth, like he always did when he was about to but didn't want to cry.

He hugged you again pressing his nose even more into the crook of your neck, his eyebrows furrowing at his efforts to not cry. "I'm so sorry babe. You'd never be a bother to me, never. I- I love it when you wait for me to come home, I always do, but today I just- Today was so hard that I just-" He choked on his own breath so you pat his back, trying to get him to calm down. After gaining a steady breathing again, he asked, "Did I hurt you?"

"Well... A bit, but I knew you would never say that without a reason. My sweet boy would never," You chuckled, your hands patting his head, your fingers going through his hair.

He pulled away, meeting your eyes. "I'm so sorry," His eyes were slightly red, the bags under his eyes more prominent now you were seeing them upclose.

"Don't cry, Min, it's okay," You wiped the tears stained on his cheeks, caressing his under eyes. "Did you get any sleep? You look tired, my poor baby," You coo, trying to lighten the mood.

He shook his head. "I couldn't. Was thinking of you," Your heart ached at his soft eyes looking at yours like a puppy lost.

"Oh baby," He leaned into your hand that was cradling his cheek. "Should we get some now? Hm?" When he nodded, you continued, "You go lay down first, I'll go turn off my laptop."

As soon as you reached the bed, Seungmin took you in his arms, your head resting on his chest while one of his hands was on your waist, the other in your hair. Yours were wrapped tightly around his waist, melting into his warm embrace, contrast to your cold skin.

Suddenly he took one of your hands, his thumb caressing the back of it. "Thank you, Y/n, for always thinking of me... I love you."

You raised your head to look at him. "I love you too, Min." You pecked his lips, smiling softly, before laying your head atop his chest again. "Now sleep. Who should I look at after this if you really do turn into an old man?"

He lightly chuckled, pressing a kiss onto the top of your head, as you slowly drift into sleep, hand in hand.

Seungmin wanted to show you how in love with you he was. Everything about you he adored and cherished and he was always on the verge of combusting from how much love for you he contains. Maybe someday that day will come, but for now he'll slowly take small steps into making that moment come true.

#seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin skz #seungmin imagines #skz #stray kids #seungmin fluff #seungmin hurt/comfort #seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #skz angst #case 148

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agi-ppangx · 3 months

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gentle (kim seungmin x gn!reader)

reader struggles with food, hurt/comfort, please read carefully

an: thats not my best work, but i kinda like it so im posting it nonetheless simply bc i can😋 and to anyone who’s struggling with food now - you are beautiful, you are amazing, you are worthy of love. remember there are people who care about you, don’t be scared to reach for help<3

a loud rumble in your stomach distracted seungmin from studying. he looked at you from over his messy notes, but you seemed unfazed by your body’s noises. your eyes were glued to the screen of your laptop as you were trying to find a suitable article for your final essay.

“hey, i’ll order us something to eat, what would you like?” he said, reaching for his phone, but you only shook your head a little, still focused on the screen.

“’m not hungry,” you mumbled and seungmin raised his eyebrows at that. he stared at you for a long while before scoffing.

“when was the last time you ate something?” he asked. you thought for a moment and shrugged your shoulders without a word. “exactly. i’m gonna order something then.”

“wait, don’t-” you started, finally breaking your gaze from your laptop, but seungmin’s piercing gaze made you stop mid-sentence. you took a deep breath as he sat up, not caring about crumpling his notes as his features suddenly showed worry.

“yn, what’s going on?” he said quietly, taking your laptop from your lap and placing it on the bedside table. he gently took your hand in his, careful not to startle you as he noticed your breathing became more frantic and uneven. you weren’t hungry. you didn’t want to be hungry. “yn?” seungmin repeated your name firmly, squeezing your hand to bring you back to reality.

“i gained weight recently,” you whispered and he tilted his head to the side. “i don’t feel like eating right now,” you added hesitantly, hearing your stomach rumble again. embarrassment flooded you as you hid your face in your hands, feeling your cheeks become warmer.

“that’s why you don’t want to eat? because you gained weight?” he started quietly and you felt him shift on the bed to come even closer to you.

you felt like a failure when you’d noticed a few additional kilograms on the scale the other day. you desperately tried to maintain your weight and you managed to do it for a long time. you weren’t really fond of how you looked, but the steadiness of your weight whenever you stepped on the scale made you feel safe. you were really cautious of what you ate, making sure you weren’t eating too much. the quiet voice in the back of your head praised you every time you ate less than you usually would and you felt proud of yourself whenever you managed to refuse some sweets. you’re doing amazing, the voice would say. you heard that rumble? that’s the sound of victory. i’m so proud of you.

“i feel disgusting,” you mumbled, feeling a lump in your throat. “so i can’t eat anything if i wanna be pretty.” seungmin shook his head at your words, wrapping his arms around your body. he brought your head to his chest, swaying you softly as he tried to gather his thoughts.

“you are… so amazing, yn,” he started and you felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going through, but i’m here for you and i love you,” he continued and a quiet sob left your body at his words. “but starving yourself won’t solve your problems, honey. we can figure something out, but you have to learn how to be gentle with yourself, okay?” he ran his fingers through your hair, seeing how distraught you were. “i’m gonna order you a smaller portion today if it makes you less scared, but i won’t leave it like this. if you can’t love yourself then it’s my role to do it for both of us.”

taglist !

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#skz #stray kids #stray kids headcanons #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #skz au #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz hurt/comfort #skz seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin scenarios #seungmin imagines #seungmin fluff #seungmin angst #seungmin hurt/comfort

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gyuworm · 10 months

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EVERYTHING ✰ established relationship / hurt / comfort

; in which seungmin is your everything and he reassures you that you’re his.

pairing. seungmin x gn!reader

cw. insecurity / crying / kissing

you drew in another shaky breath, eyes heavy from the amount of tears you had finished shedding merely moments before. your boyfriend, seungmin, sat to your right on the edge of your bed. his left hand intertwined with yours, resting in your lap. his free hand on your back drawing patterns of nothingness.

there were no words exchanged between the two of you besides seungmin’s previous encouragement to allow yourself the right to cry and to feel, assuring you that it was more than okay and healthy to do so.

“min?” you called, voice barely above a whisper, your grip on his hand tightening — afraid of letting go, of what could happen if you did.

seungmin turned towards you, he didn’t say anything. running his thumb over the ridges of your knuckles. there was no pressure to talk, no further questions or concerned looks. he knew you would continue when you were ready.

as you gazed at him, the bedside lamp illuminating him perfectly, you couldn’t help but wonder how someone like him could love someone like you. he was absolutely everything — kind, smart, talented, loving, funny. and you were nowhere comparable.

“do you actually want me?”

the question tumbled out before you could stop it, mind lagging behind your mouth as usual. it wasn’t a new thought by any means — the question had swirled around in your mind for weeks. digging itself in and making a home amongst your insecurities.

a silence stretched between you, heart sinking with each passing second. this was it. the moment he admitted you were simply safe and comfortable, that he didn’t desire you or love you. you lowered your head, returning your gaze to your lap as an apology began to bubble up your throat.

“of course i want you,” his voice was firm but gentle.

seungmin squeezed your hand softly — twice. drawing his free hand up to brush away a tear that had begun a new track down your face. when had you started crying again? you couldn’t remember.

“you’re my person, yn,” he paused, “you’re my everything,”

as he finished speaking seungmin brought your clasped hands towards him, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. you let out a breathy laugh, sniffling.

untangling his fingers from yours, seungmin slid his hand down to your wrist, grasping gently. tugging your hand closer at the same time, bringing his lips to your palm with a chaste kiss. your heart swelled at the action, butterflies sprouting in your stomach with each kiss he pressed to your skin.

“tickles,” you mumbled, tapping your finger to the tip of his nose once he pulled back slightly.

a hum is all you received in response, seungmin already peppering kisses against your skin once more. you lift your free hand, cupping his face gently to still his movements. his lips parted, eyelashes fluttering as he looks at you.

“hm?”

you smiled at him fondly, love flowing through every inch of your body, dripping from your fingertips and seeping into his skin. you ran your thumb along his cheek, his skin warm beneath your still trembling fingers.

“i love you. always and forever,”

seungmin turned his head, pressing a kiss to your palm where your hand still held him in place, “i’m aware,”

you tsked at his response, nose scrunching. mimicking the gesture, he pulled away from you making his way towards the bedroom door.

“and even beyond that!” he called over his shoulder before disappearing down the hallway.

masterlist

a/n - n e ways don’t perceive me ‼️🤨🤨

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids hurt/comfort #skz hurt/comfort #stray kids drabble #skz drabbles #seungmin hurt/comfort #seungmin fluff #seungmin imagines #seungmin #seungmin drabbles #skz seungmin #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader

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chlix · 8 months

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to do what i can do

pairing: seungmin x f!reader

genre: fluff, light angst

word count: 6.1k

warnings: insecurity, light angst, exactly three (3) uses of "y/n"

synopsis: after a conversation with hyunjin's girlfriend, you grow worried that you aren't putting enough work and attention into your relationship. seungmin dissuades you of this idea immediately.

a/n: literally never done this before so sorry if this formatting isn't standard. also ignore any spelling errors pls <3

Seungmin kisses you goodbye every morning. It’s like clockwork: he puts on his shoes, pours his coffee in a mug, kisses you goodbye, and is out the door. Both of you are routine-oriented people. You like schedules and organized silverware drawers. Ever since you first got together, Seungmin has been kissing you goodbye whenever you part ways, and nearly a year later that hasn’t changed. It’s sweet that he always remembers, and the fact that it’s practiced doesn’t make it feel any less sincere.

This morning is more of the same. You get up before him, as always, and put the coffee on. You check your emails while your breakfast cooks. Seungmin emerges just as the food is done (too late to actually eat it, as always) and goes to get his coat and shoes from the door. He loops back around to put his coffee in the cup you washed the previous night and leans down to where you’re sitting at the table to kiss you lightly on the lips. It’s so rote as to be unnotable, but it makes you smile anyway, your day instantly brighter.

“I love you,” you call after him, as you always do, and Seungmin waves as he leaves, throwing a “Be safe!” over his shoulder. And then the door closes, and you’re alone.

In a few minutes, you’ll go to work at your office job. Later, you’ll come home and make dinner. At some point in the day, Seungmin will text you to let you know if he’ll be coming home or not, so that you’ll know if you need to make one portion or two. You normally make two anyway, and just leave the second wrapped up in the fridge. If worst comes to worst, you don’t mind eating the leftovers. It’s far more horrible in your mind to not have food ready for him when he is home. It’s not that Seungmin expects food from you. He’s expressed multiple times that he can buy food on his way home. But you like cooking for him, and lately you don’t get much chance because he’s so busy. You want things to be perfect when he’s home because the time you get together is precious. You’re not obsessive about it, or anything. You’re not “playing housewife” as your friends sometimes say. It’s not a crime to want to take care of your boyfriend.

Right now is a bit of a hectic period, and you haven’t seen him much for a while. You were surprised he even had the time to come home the previous night, although of course you were grateful. When he does come home, he gives you his undivided attention, like you’re the only person on earth. It makes the wait worth it. And he kisses you goodbye every morning because he loves you, and you can feel it on your lips all day, and it assuages the loneliness you might otherwise feel.

Today you have lunch with Ahrin, Hyunjin’s girlfriend. You have good relationships with the partners of all the boys, but you’re a bit closer to Ahrin, maybe because you two are so similar. Ahrin is quieter than the other women, and is more content to observe rather than participate. She’s witty and sharp-tongued, but still kind, and has a gentleness to her that makes her easy to open up to. She calls you up and complains she hasn’t seen you in a while and asks to have a meal with you that afternoon. You haven’t been feeling work very much, and you do miss her, so you agree to take a late lunch and meet her a cafe near your office.

Ahrin is radiant as always, and you make small talk about your families before devolving into complaining about mundanities: annoyances at work and the price of fruit at the supermarket. As you’re speaking, you notice Ahrin is wearing a dainty gold necklace that you don’t recognize, and cut yourself off to ask about it.

“Oh, this? It’s Cartier. Hyunjin bought it for me,” she says, bringing a hand up to touch the small pendant like she’d forgotten she was wearing it. “He’s on this kick about couple’s jewelry.”

“It’s beautiful,” you say, and you mean it. It suits Ahrin’s softness and sophistication. He may have bought it because it was Cartier, but he clearly put some thought into it besides the designer label.

“Thank you,” she says, genuinely pleased. “I try to wear something he bought me whenever I go visit him.”

“Are you going to see him today?”

“I just come from there, actually. He took my credit card in his wallet, so I had to go get it back.”

“Oldest trick in the book,” you say.

Ahrin rolls her eyes. “I know. But it’ll work every time. I can’t help that I need it to go about my day.”

She doesn’t sound the least bit bothered. Ahrin and Hyunjin have been together for two years, and it’s a trick he’s pulled ever since they started living together, the “accidentally taking one of Ahrin’s things to work.” You’ve asked her before why she doesn’t confront him about it, but she says that she thinks it’s cute how he keeps coming up with excuses to see her, and anyway, she also likes having excuses to see him.

You also think it’s cute, if in a more wistful way. Seungmin is organized to a T, and he’s never needed you to bring him something he’s forgotten or vice versa. In fact, you can’t remember if you’ve ever visited him at work at all. You don’t think it’s that strange, though. It’s not like he’s made a habit of showing up to your workplace. Also, you likely wouldn’t have the time even if he’d offered. It does dampen your mood a bit though, especially as Seungmin texts you in the middle of your conversation that he in fact, would not be coming home today, meaning you would have to eat dinner alone tonight.

Ahrin notices the dip in your mood as you set your phone back on the table.

“Bad news?” she asks.

You swipe the notification away.

“It’s nothing. Seungmin just texting me about how busy they are.”

Ahrin hums in understanding. “Well, what can you do. At least it’s not as crazy as it was a few months ago.”

“Isn’t it?” You’ve been seeing less of Seungmin than you had in ages, and you’d assumed it was because their schedules had been bordering on unbearable lately. But Ahrin looks confused at your question.

“I don’t think so. Busier than last month, yeah. But they’re not filming anything right now, so the schedule isn’t as rigid. Seungmin hasn’t talked to you about this?”

You feel embarrassed, somehow. “He doesn’t talk about work much when he’s with me. He likes to keep it separate.”

“That makes sense. You should ask him to share his schedule with you, though. What if you need him and you don’t know where he is, or when he’ll answer?”

“I know where he’s at, generally. He tells me if he’s traveling. I just don’t know the minutiae.”

“You’re allowed to know. You should, for your own peace of mind.”

It’s not that it hadn’t occurred to you to ask. Seungmin told you his whereabouts if you questioned him, and he even volunteered information every once in a while, so you hadn’t thought much of it. And you didn’t suspect him of cheating on you ever in a million years. You knew he had other hobbies and friends as well- a whole life outside you that you weren’t privy to and didn’t need to be. But was it possible you were being a bit too aloof about your boyfriends daily habits? Why didn’t he share what he was doing, if he wasn’t at work? Why didn’t you know?

“I’ll ask him,” you say. “You’re right.”

Ahrin smiles encouragingly, and the topic is dropped for other matters. The odd feeling in your stomach doesn’t settle, though, and by the time you’ve finished your day and sat down to eat dinner, you realize you’ve unfortunately lost your appetite.

Seungmin calls you the next day to say he’ll be staying at the dorm for several days, and you tell him okay, thanks for telling me, I love you, goodbye. After you hang up the phone, you berate yourself for not asking more questions. You’re his girlfriend. You should be care that he’s leaving you alone for days at a time, you think as you drive to work. Maybe he’d been waiting for you to ask what he’d be doing or pester him for spoilers about the group’s upcoming plans. Maybe he wanted you to pout and whine about missing him and beg him to come home. You’d never done any of those things before, but maybe you should be. Maybe he’d called you hoping you would do those things and had hung up the phone disappointed.

The central problem of dating an idol is always a scarcity of time. They’re always busy, and because they’re always busy, you as a partner need to have a life outside them that is full and fulfilling, and sometimes those two schedules conflict. You can go long stretches without spending meaningful time together, and it’s hard to cope with, especially when they’re within driving distance of you, but still inaccessible. You know, though, that a scarcity of time does not always mean a scarcity of attention. You’ve seen it in Ahrin and Hyunjin, in the Cartier necklace and the missing credit card, that Hyunjin thinks about Ahrin all the time, and Ahrin knows that he does, is thinking of him just as much if not more. She can languish in the thought that even if Hyunjin is not with her, he desperately wishes he was, and when she wears his necklaces and bracelets and $500 hair clips, Hyunjin knows she is also desperately thinking about him.

You and Seungmin don’t have a system like that. Seungmin isn’t in the habit of buying you expensive gifts, for starters. He’s frugal with his money, hyperaware that one day his youth and fame will fade, and he won’t have such extravagant income. You’re similarly pragmatic, and you’ve never resented him for this. And that’s not to say he never spends money on you. He buys you flowers and takes you on expensive dates. He bought you a new laptop and headphones without you saying anything, and your closet is full of fancy dresses that are each tied to a high class outing you’ve been on. For each one, he’d bought himself a shirt and jacket to match. But those aren’t things you wear every day to show off. They’re for special occasions, specific memories. There’s nothing you wear or carry daily that marks you as ‘his.’

And honestly, you’ve never really thought about yourself that way. You and Seungmin are together, and you live together (by whatever measure your living arrangements currently count as), but you’ve never longed to be “branded” in a way befitting a pair of earrings or an oversized sweater. You wear his clothes at home, but never out. You don’t feel the need to show up to his practices and recording sessions. You’ve never even asked if you were allowed. If Seungmin bought you a Cartier necklace, you aren’t totally sure you would wear it.

It hits you like a freight train when you put it all together: You don’t care enough about Seungmin. You’re comfortable with him, you feel like you love him, but you don’t care about him the way you’re supposed to care about him. You’re not involved enough. But then, the same goes for him too, doesn’t it? He knows what you do for work, but he rarely asks you about anything other than a cursory how was your day? He doesn’t pester you for anything, doesn’t ask you to visit him or stay up for him when he comes home late. Aren’t those things that he should expect from you as a girlfriend? Why doesn’t he care that you’re so obviously neglecting him? When he kisses you goodbye in the morning, is that because he misses you, or is that just a habit formed over these past months, a meaningless part of the morning ritual he couldn’t resist if he tried?

You feel caught in a lurch, unsure what to do now. Seungmin deserves better than you, clearly. He deserves a girlfriend who actually gives a fuck about his life. But maybe, if you start making up for it now, he’ll forgive the past few months of you being so terrible. He’ll realize that you are an attentive girlfriend, and that you do care about him and that you love him, and you can prove it, you swear, it took you a while to realize what was wrong but you’ve got it all straightened out now.

You can change. You can fix this. You know you can.

-/-

The next time Seungmin comes home, you wake up first the next morning, like always. You go to put the coffee on, and you make breakfast, and you check your emails. Seungmin comes out, walks past you to his shoes and coat, and doubles back to get his morning coffee.

“Busy day today?” you ask.

Seungmin freezes in his movements, caught off guard by your question. He recovers quickly enough, and answers. “Not particularly. Vocal practice, some other things.”

“Oh, good. Do you think you’ll be home today then?”

Seungmin turns to face you, his cup abandoned on the counter, unfilled. “Is everything alright?”

“What?”

“Is something wrong? Do we need to talk?”

Oh god, it’s worse than you thought. Asking if he’s going to be home to eat dinner is enough for him to think something is amiss. Have you truly never asked him that before?

“Everything’s fine. It would just be nice to eat dinner with you, is all.”

Seungmin relaxes. He leans down to kiss you, but it lingers longer than normal, as if he’s savoring the touch, your attention. “I’ll do my best,” he promises. “I love you. Have a nice day.”

You absolutely blossom under his affection, the verbosity atypical for so early in the morning.

“I love you too. Be safe.”

“I always am,” he says, and presses another peck to your lips before pulling away. He finishes pouring his coffee, grabs his coat, and waves as he leaves. You sit at the table, vibrating with satisfaction. You’re doing it, you’re giving him what he needs. Maybe all hope isn’t lost for you two just yet.

Your sky-high mood follows you to work, and the day keeps getting better with the discovery of cupcakes in the break room. One of your coworkers’ kids just had a birthday, and they had way too much food left over. You take one back to your desk to nibble on while you work, and even the mundanity of your daily tasks can’t bring you down from how well this day is turning out. Around midmorning, it occurs to you that this is the perfect opportunity to do something else nice for Seungmin by bringing him cupcakes. They’re not filming, which means they’re not on diets, so he can handle a bit of sugar and frosting, especially if it’s a gift from you. You borrow a container from the staff kitchen to carry some cupcakes and decide to defer your own lunch to deliver them across the city.

When you get to the JYPE building, though, you realize you have no idea what to do. You’re fairly sure you’re allowed access; the other girlfriends pop in and out all the time. But it’s possible no one here recognizes you, since this is the first time you’ve shown your face around here.

Being spontaneous is cute and quirky, but standing around lost and embarrassed grows tiring within seconds. You give up and decide to text Seungmin.

Are you busy?, you send, standing awkwardly by the door and hoping security doesn’t throw you out. Thankfully, he responds quickly.

Not super. Do you need to call?

Actually I’m in the lobby of your building. Can you come down?

Typing, and then a pause. Then more typing. Eventually the message comes through.

Ok.

You can’t decode that at all. It strikes you for the first time that you may be bothering him by driving over here. You did ask if he was busy, though. And it stood to reason that if you had time for a 5-minute phone call, he had time to come downstairs and accept the gift you’d brought him. It isn’t intrusive. This is what people do for each other when they care about each other.

It only takes a few minutes for Seungmin to round the corner into the lobby. His face is creased in concern, even worse than he’d looked this morning, and he’s walking at a brisk pace to stand right in front of you.

“Hey,” he says. “What’s going on?”

You don’t know how to respond to his intensity, so you just hold out the container towards him. “I brought you cupcakes.”

Seungmin’s eyebrows furrow in utter confusion. “You…made cupcakes?”

“I didn’t make them. A coworker brought them in. But I remember you saying you liked cupcakes, and I had a free minute, so I thought I’d bring them over before they got finished.”

Seungmin accepts the box gingerly, as though it contains a nest of wild hornets, or lit sticks of dynamite. “You drove all the way over here to give this to me?”

Your doubts go from an inkling to a full-on tumult. “Yes, I did. I was just thinking of you…I thought you might like something sweet.”

You don’t mean to look dismayed, but Seungmin must clue-in to the fact that this isn’t the reaction you were hoping for. He shifts the box to one hand and laces your fingers together with his other.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” he says. “But you don’t need to go out of your way to bring me things.”

“It’s not out of my way. I had time.”

“Let me rephrase. You shouldn’t expend your lunch hour to bring me food. When are you going to eat now?”

“I’ll stay an extra half hour. It’s fine.”

Seungmin clearly isn’t satisfied with this. He tugs lightly on your arm, bidding you to follow, and you do, unsure of what else to do.

He takes you up a floor, and down a hallway to what seems to be a regular employee break room, where he gestures for you to sit down at one of the tables. You do, and he walks over to the fridge to get bottled water and brings back one for you, along with napkins and a knife from the drawer next to the fridge.

“If you aren’t going to eat lunch, you might as well share your spoils with me,” Seungmin says. He opens the container and takes out one of the cupcakes (and they are huge, to be honest, you kind of can’t believe they’re from a kid’s birthday party) and cuts it in half.

“Pick a side,” he says, and you do, and he carefully picks it up and lays it on a paper towel before sliding it towards you. He takes the other half, and you pick your desserts apart with your fingers. Seungmin tells an anecdote about Jeongin from their vocal lesson that morning. It’s…nice. You’re just spending time with your boyfriend, a quick stolen minute in the midst of your busy lives. The frosting is sickeningly sweet, and you find yourself reaching for the bottle of water without even thinking of it, and only later preen at the realization that Seungmin knew you would need to wash the artificial taste out and had brought you water preemptively. He knows you well enough to identify if something would suit your palette with only a glance.

Both of you don’t have much time to spare, so after fifteen minutes you wipe off your hands and clean off the table.

“I’ll bring the rest of these back upstairs,” he says. “They won’t last ten minutes once the others see them.”

“That’s fine. That’s what I was hoping for, actually.”

“And here I thought you brought these only for me,” he says, but his lips are curled up, teasing. He kisses you goodbye, like always, lips sugary-sweet and soft as cotton-candy. “Thank you for stopping by. I’ll see you tonight.”

Your heart grows three sizes. You’re on cloud nine. “Anytime,” you say.

That night you try very hard not to be an absolute freak about dinner. You cook nearly every day, so the cooking itself isn’t that special, but for some reason your usual rotation doesn’t feel good enough. Seungmin is coming home for the second day in a row, and you don’t want to reuse ingredients, or phone it in when you’d specifically asked him to come home. At the same time, a five-course meal is definitely doing way too much. You stop by the store on the way home and scan the shelves, before wrestling yourself into a compromise and getting ingredients for a meal you both enjoy, but you’re normally too lazy to bother after a long day at work. It’s nothing fancy, just time-consuming, but you’re in such high spirits that the labor doesn’t even feel harrowing.

Seungmin gets home a few minutes before you’re properly done, with the pot on the stove ticking down steadily as you wash dishes and spoons. Seungmin greets you as he walks in but vanishes quickly down the hall to shower and change into inside clothes. By the time he reappears, you’re all but done, and you’ve never been more satisfied with yourself as you dish the food into two bowls and set them on the table. Sure, maybe it’s “playing housewife” a little bit, but you don’t even care. If playing housewife is this rewarding, you might have to start doing it more often.

Seungmin raises his eyes as the dinner you prepared.

“Didn’t you complain that this is hard to make?” he asks. You shrug.

“Felt like cooking today,” is all you say. “No biggie.”

Seungmin sits down at the table, pushes his plate to the side, and looks directly at you. “Y/n. What’s going on?”

Anxiety shoots through you. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. I’m not oblivious. You’ve been acting off all day.”

“Off?”

“Visiting me at the company? Cooking this fancy dinner? It’s not like you at all.”

“That’s not me being ‘off.’ I just missed you, that’s all.”

“Have I not been paying enough attention to you? Is that why?”

“No! I mean, you have. There is no ‘why’. Am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend?”

Seungmin looks distinctly unimpressed. “Nice try. Wanna go again?”

All your good humor from earlier is dissolving into your soup. “You’re mocking me.”

“I’m not mocking you.”

“I was trying to do something nice for you. I just wanted to spend time with you today. Is that so wrong?”

“It’s not wrong. It’s just unusual for you. When you told me you showed up at the company, I thought something horrible had happened, because you never visited me before.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“What doesn’t?”

“That I never visit.”

“Why would that bother me?”

All your anxieties are simmering near the top, threatening to boil over. “Because the other members’ girlfriends visit all the time. I know they do. They have security clearance and everything. But I never do. I don’t even know where you are most days if I wanted to visit you.”

Seungmin frowns. “You’re busy. You have a job you’re at all day, same as me. Some of the other members’ girlfriends work less or have other things going on.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” you mutter. “Maybe I have too much going on.”

Seungmin looks hesitant at this. “If you feel you need to cut back, I’ll support you.”

“Is that what you want? Do you think I should work less?”

“No, I don’t. That’s not my decision anyway.”

“But I just…” You’re cracking, you know you are, you can hear it in your voice- “I just want to be there for you more. I want to be attentive.”

“You are attentive. You’re there for me all the time.”

“I’m not!” It bursts out of you more violently than even you expected. Seungmin is taken aback, eyes widening as you finally break. “I’m so aloof towards you, it’s awful. I never know where you are, or what you’re doing. I never ask you to come home to me. I don’t stay up for you. I don’t visit you. Other girlfriends have bracelets or necklaces they wear for their boyfriends, and I don’t do any of that. No one would even know we were dating, based on how we are now.” You suck in a breath, reminding yourself to stay calm. “I just don’t even know what you get out of being with me. I don’t do anything I’m supposed to do, and you keep letting me get away with it. And I thought if I changed, and I started trying harder, maybe I could fix it before you realize that I don’t deserve you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, humiliation and sadness making you feel dizzy and hot. Now that you’ve said it all out, it sounds ridiculous. It’s not as if you could fix a behavioral pattern with one good day. If your relationship really is rotten through, all you’ve done is draw attention to the problem and made it even worse. Contrasted with how you acted today, the past eleven months must seem downright hollow.

Seungmin sighs. “Y/n, look at me, please.”

You open your eyes and are horrified to see Seungmin looking absolutely mournful where he sits across the table. He looks so aggrieved, so weighed down, and a horrible rock forms in the pit of your stomach.

“First of all,” he says. “I don’t ever want to hear you say again that you don’t deserve me. It’s not true, and I won’t have you putting yourself down like that. You don’t decide what I deserve, I do. And I’ve decided you’re exactly what I want.”

You blink, confused at the turn of events. It’s a very Seungmin thing to say, yes, but in this situation, you didn’t expect him to double down on it so earnestly.

“Second of all, you’re not aloof towards me. I know you love me, and you care for me in your own ways. I also know you have a life outside of me that keeps you busy. I’m grateful for that. I would feel horrible if you spent a significant amount of your day just waiting around for me when we both know I can’t always be there.”

“That’s different,” you can’t help but interject. “You’re an idol. You can’t help that you’re busy.”

“You can’t help being busy either. Being an idol isn’t any more important than any other job. You have responsibilities too.”

You deflate, sagging in your chair. He takes this as license to continue.

“Third, I didn’t think you were the type to wear jewelry every day. If you want me to get you something, I can do that. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured to wear something just because I bought it and it was expensive. Someday, if we get married, you’ll wear my ring, and that’ll be enough for me.”

He’s right. You don’t usually wear jewelry every day, and you would feel bad about not wearing something he’d specifically bought you as a gift. You’re starting to feel more and more foolish as this conversation continues.

Thankfully, his itemized list ends there, and he leans forward, dark eyes fixed on yours. He doesn’t look angry, or upset, just focused. Leave it to Seungmin to mind-map his way through a relationship crisis.

“Can you tell me what brought this on? It’s unlike you to be insecure. If I’ve done something to make you think you’re not good enough for me, I’d like to know so that I can change my behavior.”

You let out a long breath, giving up the fight in the face of Seungmin’s rationality.

“I had lunch with Ahrin the other day. I was complaining about how you’re so busy these days, I rarely see you. Ahrin said you guys actually haven’t been that busy. It made me realize I don’t actually know your schedule, like what you do all day, much less outside of work. And I also realized part of the reason I haven’t seen you much is because I never ask to see you. You have no reason to spend time with me when it seems like I don’t even want you around.” Your voice trails off as you continue, shame sticking the words in your throat.

Seungmin hums, thinking. He lifts his hand up and stretches it toward you, your sign to extend your own hand so he can lace your fingers together. You oblige, and the contact settles you a bit.

“I have never thought for one second that you didn’t want me around. I don’t take offense to you not knowing my schedule either. I know I don’t talk about work much. It might be a flaw of mine.”

“Hyunjin is always playing these little games with Ahrin to get her to come see him. But I’ve always felt that you’d prefer I stay away when you’re working.”

Seungmin hesitates again. “That might be right. That’s not because I don’t love spending time with you, though. It’s the opposite.”

“I…don’t follow.”

“Whatever you believe, the other members’ partners don’t really come around all that much, but when they do come around, it’s not really a big event. They’re just spectators. Like when Ahrin visits us at practice, it’s easy for Hyunjin to pretend she’s not there and keep working. I couldn’t do that. If you were in the room with me, I don’t think I could be as focused as I normally am. I’d be distracted because all my attention would be on you and how you’re doing. That’s why I’ve never encouraged you to visit.”

A small hysterical part of you wants to twist his words somehow, to start a fight about him calling you a ‘distraction’ and all it implies, but you know what he meant. It’s a fairly big admission he’s given, that he couldn’t keep control of himself if you were in his eyeline. It’s…unexpectedly flattering.

“I fluster you that badly?” you ask, half-teasing, half-curious. But Seungmin answers you dead serious.

“Embarrassingly so. When I went back upstairs with the cupcakes, Minho-hyung didn’t give me a second to breathe before commenting on it.”

You find yourself grinning. “Really?”

“Don’t laugh at me. It’s unkind.”

“I’m not laughing,” you say, even though you definitely are. Seungmin rolls his eyes, but there’s no heat or embarrassment in them.

“You could at least be sorry about it.”

“I’m very sorry that I got you bullied by your bandmates,” you say dutifully. “I promise I will do my best not to place you in such a compromising position again.”

“You can visit me if you want,” Seungmin rebuffs. “I can take a little teasing if you really want to see me. My point is just that you shouldn’t feel like you have to because the other girlfriends do.”

“Okay.” You nod, then venture out into the part of the conversation you’ve been avoiding. “If that’s all true, why do you stay away so often? It’s okay if you just have other things to do, but why do you let me think you’re at work if you aren’t?”

You aren’t sure what he’s going to say to this. You believe in his loyalty, always, and you don’t think he truly intended to lie to you, but you still can’t figure out who’s to blame here, and how this miscommunication has persisted between you for so long.

To your surprise, Seungmin’s ears flare red. His grip tightens on your hand, like he’s fighting himself, but you can tell he answers you honestly when he says,

“I was worried I was imposing on you.”

You blink. “Imposing?”

Seungmin is no longer meeting your eyes, his gaze lowered to the table. “Like I said, I don’t want you to constantly be waiting around for me. I don’t want you to get used to having me around, and then when I go on tour, or get busy with activities, you feel my absence stronger. Then, when I come back, I become an inconvenience as you try to fit me into your life again. It’s hard, and it’s unfair. I thought it would be easier to try to keep the same level of involvement all the time, so that you didn’t miss me too badly when I was gone, and I didn’t annoy you too much when I came back.”

You hardly let him finish his sentence before you say, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You keep your attention from me so that I won’t miss you later? How does that make any sense? I miss you regardless. That’s the point of being in a relationship.”

Seungmin winces, and you decide to dial back your indignance. He’d spoken to you evenly, and you could do the same for him.

“Sorry. I just meant that you shouldn’t keep yourself away from me in an effort to spare my feelings. I know what I signed up for when we started dating. I know some times will be easier than others. I appreciate your efforts to mitigate that, but this isn’t the way. You being gone so often is all the more reason to be overt and intense when we do have time together. It’s fine to not want to spend all your free time with me, but don’t ever think wanting to be around me is imposing, or hurting me in some way, because it’s not.”

Seungmin looks properly chastised. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll be around more.”

“And I’ll ask for you more. We both need to stop holding ourselves and each other back.” You let out a little laugh. “We’re acting like it’s embarrassing to be in love or something.”

“Hyunjin said the same thing to me once.”

“Hyunjin is smart in exactly one area,” you acquiesce. “Ahrin is a lucky girl.”

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” Seungmin mutters. You lean forward over your cold dinner and press a kiss to Seungmin’s cheek.

“I didn’t say she was luckier than me.”

You both grin.

-/-

Next week, Monday. You wake up at your usual time, put on coffee, make breakfast. You clear your entire inbox because fuck the sales department, they can say whatever they need to say in the meeting this afternoon. You set your phone down and enjoy the warmth of the tea you brewed and watch the sun come up outside your living room window.

Seungmin gets up, gets his shoes and coat, and doubles back around.

“Good morning,” you say.

“Good morning.”

“Busy day?”

“Nope. I’m free after lunch.”

“Lucky. I have an awful meeting from two to four.”

“You’ll do fine,” Seungmin says. “Sales isn’t the boss of you.”

“They actually are,” you groan, and Seungmin laughs at your dismay. He kisses you goodbye, tells you to be safe. You tell him you love him. The front door opens and closes.

At around 1pm, your phone buzzes with a text.

Are you busy?

Eh. Why?

I’m in your lobby.

No way.

You grab your security pass and head towards the elevators, watching every floor tick down until it lets you out on the ground floor. Seungmin is sitting in a chair in reception, holding a white cardboard box. When he sees you approach him, he grins and holds it up.

“Got time for cupcakes?”

Your smile is so wide it’s splitting your face in half. “Follow me. The break room is on the fourth floor.”

-/-

“I didn’t even know you knew what building I work in.”

“I looked it up on NAVER.”

“Of course you did.”

“Why reinvent the wheel when someone invented the iPhone, y/n.”

#skz x reader #stray kids x reader #seungmin x reader #seungmin fluff #seungmin angst #skz imagines #skz x you #skz x y/n #seungmin x y/n #seungmin x you #skz hurt/comfort

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astraystayyh · 1 year

Text

In which you realize you don't have to be perfect around Seungmin.

Hurt/comfort. (wrote this while listening to fine line so i do recommend listening to it hehe)

"I bought snacks for our movie night!" Seungmin excitedly announces, strutting inside your room with a grin on his face.

You snap your head towards him, guilt already cursing through your veins. "Was it tonight?"

"Yeah, did you forget?" he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"No, no. Um... I just- I need to finish this essay first and..." your eyes rack frantically through your desk- everything looks so disorganized to you right now. "And I... I didn't wash the dishes from yesterday," you scratch your hand uncomfortably, suddenly recalling everything you are behind in. "And I promised I'll make you cookies, didn't I?" you ask, growing more agitated with each word.

You abruptly stand up, dropping your pen and darting towards the kitchen. Your hands are shaking as you rapidly grab a bowl from the sink to start washing it. But you can't hold it still and it falls to the ground, the loud thud echoing through your home.

You are behind on everything- your work, your cleaning, your promises.

"Yn?" Seungmin calls out your name cautiously but you don't answer him, too lost in your own thoughts. When did you let things go this much? You forgot your date with Seungmin, but you weren't one to forget. You're the one who remembers every single detail, making sure that everything runs smoothly.

But the stress of finals has taken a toll on you. It was hard to catch your breath when you felt like you were crumbling down under the weight of your self-deprecating thoughts.

And you don't want Seungmin to see you this way- anything short of perfect. He'd criticize you too, right? Like everyone before him did.

"Baby, breathe," he places his hand gently on your shoulder and you freeze in your place. Your hands are tightly clutching the countertop, and you don't dare to turn around and face him.

"I'm okay," you reply, willing your voice to be strong.

"Are you really ?" he asks you softly and you look up at the ceiling in a useless attempt to stop your tears from falling.

Seungmin didn't need you to talk. He simply glances at your tense shoulders and your foot that's furiously tapping the floor, and he knows. He has his answer.

Your back is still facing him, so he slowly wraps his arms around you from behind. His chin resting gently on top of your shoulder.

"I'm sorry I'm not perfect," you finally whisper after a few beats of silence.

"Who says I want perfect?"

"I just... Everything went wrong and I... I feel as if I let you down," you admit quietly and you expect Seungmin to let you go and turn away. But he doesn't, instead he tightens his hold on you and you almost can't believe it. He's staying.

"You didn't let me down. You are only human, I don't expect you to be put together all the time. Imagine how boring that would be," he adds with a chuckle and you smile despite yourself, your hand slowly raising up to rest on top of his.

"We'll wash the dishes together. And we'll bake the cookies together. But you'll work on your essay alone because why did you choose such a hard major," he jokes and you swat his hand playfully in reply.

"But I'm here," he turns you around, his eyes finally locking with yours. "We pick each other up when the other is down."

Seungmin gently wipes your tears away, before leaning in to place a soft kiss on your forehead. His lips linger in there for a couple more seconds than necessary, and you almost cry from the relief that's flooding your being. He stayed.

"You don't have to pretend around me. If you are feeling overwhelmed, just tell me, okay?"

"Okay," you smile at him and he nods, satisfied.

"Now..." Seungmin smiles mischievously at you and you know there is a twisted plan brewing in his head. Your suspicions are confirmed when he suddenly bends down and picks you up. He runs towards the living room where he throws you on the couch, and then he's on top of you, tickling you until you can't breathe anymore.

"How dare you forget about our movie night! I should be your one and only priority!"

"I'm sorry!" you yell through your giggles, but Seungmin doesn't yield. He keeps on tickling you until your cheeks ache from how hard you are laughing, and you're slowly starting to forget what made you so upset in the first place.

Truth is, Seungmin didn't mind that you forgot about your date. He just needed you to laugh again.

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cheeseceli · 3 months

Text

When your parents don't like them

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader (individually)

Genre: reverse hurt/comfort? Angst? A little bit of fluff perhaps; reaction

Description: their reaction to not having the approval of your parents in their first meeting (established relationship)

Warnings: not proofread; a lot of overthinking and self doubt in most of the scenarios; the length of each story is not favouritsm!! It's just that some scenarios required more details than others

A/n: I should have posted this one a long time ago... Oh well. And I am literally the mix of Han and Lee Know, this would 100% happen to me if I were in their shoes

Bang Chan

‌HE'S SO SHOCKED

‌Parents always love him, so why didn't yours?

‌He believes he took it for granted

‌But he was so sure your family would love him

‌Rethinks everything he said and did

‌And thinks about what he could've done

‌He'll be up all night because of it, you better believe me

"Maybe it's the outfit I was wearing?"

"Chan, for God's sake, go to sleep."

"Seriously though, do you think my clothes weren't appropriate?"

"There was nothing wrong with how you looked baby."

"... So maybe I didn't introduce myself properly?"

"Chan."

Lee Know

‌ He knew he had to talk

‌ But it turns out he was too scared

‌And your parents just aggravated his problem

‌ He'd give only short answers and would only speak when spoken with

‌ Because of that your parents didn't see him as a really charismatic guy

‌ But I swear he was trying his best

"I swear it wasn't as bad as it seemed."

"It was horrible. I doubt any of your parents even know what my voice sounds like."

"You were nervous. I'm sure they'll understand. If you'd like I can talk to them about it."

"Please, don't. The last thing I want is for your parents to think that besides being awkward I'm a coward as well."

"They don't think either of those things. You'll see, you guys just need to know each other a little bit more. They'll love you."

Even with his worried expression, he gave you a small smile "I hope so".

Changbin

‌ You warned him he was getting too close

‌ He was holding your hand, caressing your thigh, hugging you too tight, kissing you a lot...

‌ All the time

‌ And yes, you both were dating for a while now

‌ But your parents didn't really appreciate the attitude

‌ And truly, he thought that by doing that he was showing how much he treasured and loved you

‌ Sadly your parents didn't understand his actions like he planned

"But what was I supposed to do? Stay away from you?"

"Ideally, yes"

Changbin pouted, not even realising it "but I'm your boyfriend"

"They are not used to this fact just yet. Don't worry though, they still have a lot of time to like you. Just wait and see"

Hyunjin

‌ Similar to Chan, Hyunjin didn't expect to be rejected by your parents

‌of course, he wasn't expecting to make the fall in love immediately, but he knew he had some charms

‌and he actually put a lot of effort into impressing them so when it doesn't work he's like

‌genuinely sad

‌And he's scared your relationship might change now that he doesn't have your family approval right away.

"So... About the dinner"

"They are always like this, don't worry"

"How come?"

"I knew they were gonna play hard to get. But don't you stress over it, sooner or later they will realise there is no need to act like it"

"So I can still convince them into not hating me?"

"Why would they hate you? You were really boyfriend material if you ask me"

He laughed, a little bit more relieved "They were kinda... aggressive back there, y'know?"

"Ugh, sorry about that. I swear things will get better"

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

"I thought you'd get sad or something like that since the meeting didn't go that well"

"I'm a bit sad, yeah. But it's not your fault. You did your best. Besides, it won't last that long. It's kinda hard to hate on the Hwang Hyunjin for too long"

He laughed again, openly this time as he replied "I hope you are right"

Han

‌The problem wasn't exactly what he did

‌The problem was that he didn't do anything

‌Literally anything

‌ He'd excuse himself to go to the bathroom to avoid any questions

‌He barely moved besides that

‌After a while your dad even forgot he was there

‌And Han wished he could disappear

"I'm so, so sorry"

"Ji, it's okay"

"I was gonna answer your mother, I swear. But she was looking at me with daggers in her eyes"

"You were just fine"

"Fine? Y/n, your dad sighed in relief after I left the room. They must see me as a loser"

"I'm sure they don't. Besides, you still have a lot of time left to win them over. I know they'll love you"

Felix

‌Your parents loved him actually

‌They just don't think he is fit to be your boyfriend

‌They think that his angel face and sweet personality wouldn't give you enough security throughout your life

‌And Felix wants to prove himself to your parents so badly now

‌He will use his deep voice privilege to try to prove his point

‌He will go to the gym with Changbin until he's "intimidating" enough

‌And he won't fail on reminding them how he has over 60 medals on taekwondo

"How do I look?"

"Great, as always"

"But do I look intimidating? Scary?"

"Lix..."

"But not too scary. I need to look threatening to others but reliable to you"

"You look like someone my parents will like"

"They already like me, but not enough to like our relationship"

"They will though. Soon enough they will appreciate everything that comes along with you, trust me."

Felix smiled and nodded, feeling a certain comfort into your words as you headed to the door

"Just for the record, you do look threatening but reliable"

"Oh thank you. I was going crazy over this"

Seungmin

‌If your parents don't like Seungmin then the problem is on them

‌just kidding

‌Seriously though, I can't imagine why they wouldn't like him

‌And neither can Seungmin himself

‌So he truly thinks that everything was a misunderstanding and that it's only a matter of time until your whole family falls in love with him

‌He will face it like a challenge

"What about we invite your parents to our apartment this weekend?"

"We just saw them less than an hour ago"

"I think we should see them again"

"Did you like them that much?"

"They seem cool. But they also seem to hate me. I need to change their minds"

"What? They didn't hate you at all"

"Your father's glare would disagree. But that doesn't matter that much because by the end of this week they will love me"

"You seem certain"

"Of course I am. I can't have them hating me for the rest of our lives, can I?"

"They don't hate you. They are just... hard to please"

"I'll change this" he faced you with a confident smile "I give you my word"

I.N

‌Kinda clueless

‌Totally clueless actually

‌He can't understand what he did wrong but apparently he did something awful considering your parents disliked him that much

‌Will try to find ways to apologise

‌Will gift them and try to keep a conversation even when you're not around

"Does your mother like flowers? She does, right? Every mother does"

"What are you doing?"

"You said that she invited us to lunch this Friday. I don't want to go see her with empty hands again. Maybe that's what made her hate me so much the first time"

"She doesn't care about those things, Innie"

"No? Then why doesn't she like me?"

"She's just hard to satisfy, you know. But I bet she'll like you in no time. She just needs to get to know you better"

"You keep saying that but I don't know, I feel like that won't happen any time soon. I really want her to approve me"

He had that hopeless expression again, that one that really wanted to change the situation but didn't know how to. You really hated seeing him disappointed on himself.

"Lilies" you said

"What?"

"Those are my mother's favourites. Lilies"

"Oh my God, thank you" he got up and kissed the top of your head lightly, before going to the door of your shared apartment "I'll be right back"

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! | masterlist

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skzstannie · 4 months

Text

“What about Ben?”

SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~4,800 cw: reader has a panic attack and depression, Ben is ur lil bro

summary: your mom isn’t happy about your absence at your brother’s birthday party, but she takes her anger a step too far this time

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone has a blessed 2024! Part 2s for both the Felix and the Han fic are underway, so send me an ask if you’d like to be added to the tag list for either of them!

Happy Scrolling! | Masterlist

"Mom, you know I can't just up and leave! What are you expecting me to do?"

You find yourself having the same conversation with your parents time and time again- they want you to come home, you can't come home, then they give you the silent treatment for a period of time until they want you to come home for something else.

It's mentally exhausting, having to deal with their constant negative remarks towards you job. You only do it for your little brother; him growing up without you is not in the cards for you. In fact, that's what this argument you're having with your mom is about this time.

"I expect you to put your family first for once in your life!" your mother yells back. You flinch, pulling the phone away from your ear.

"Mom, you know I wouldn't miss Ben's birthday unless I absolutely have to. I want to be there for him, I really do!" your words do little to convince her as she already has her mind made up about the type of person you are.

"This has happened one too many times. Missing the occasional family gathering is one thing, but it’s your brother's birthday." Her disgust easily wafts through the speaker of your phone, and you bite your lip to keep from absolutely lashing out at her.

Your parents were never understanding of your job. They always expected you to just pack up your bags and fly home for the smallest of things.

Your baby cousin said her first words? "Why aren't you here?"

Your little brother lost another tooth? "Why would you want to miss this important milestone?"

Your grandma got a new dog? "What kind of heartless person denies their grandparents?"

Over and over, you've been criticized for your job. You give them the same explanation each time, as it's the truth.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I want to be there; I really really do. It's just that-"

"Always with the excuses. Ya know what? I'm tired of the excuses," she pauses and your breath hitches in your throat.

"Ma?" your voice is choked up, and you find your lip wobbling from where it's pulled between your mouth.

Your mother sighs, her disappointment evident. "We're done with the excuses, Y/N. If you can't be here for us, I don't think this is going to work out."

You swear your heart stops upon hearing her words. "What do you mean?" the laugh you let out is far from humorous. It's desperate. "How could it not work out? I'm your daughter, there's nothing to work out. You're supposed to love me and care for me, unconditionally."

"You've crossed the line too many times. Don't try to spin this around and make me the bad guy. This is completely your fault, you and those stupid boys."

Your parents could talk trash about you all they want, but you never let them get away with saying stuff about your boys. "You can belittle me, argue with me, call me every name in your book, but I will not let you talk about the guys like that. They're my family, too," your almost able to catch yourself, but you realize your mistake far too late.

"Oh, yea? Well, if those guys are your family, why not spend the rest of your time with them, too. It’s not like you weren’t already planning to anyway. Spend your holidays with them, your birthdays with them. He’ll, what do you even need us for?”

Tears well in your eyes, a mix of anger and fear swelling deep in your gut. "Mom, you know that's not what I meant." You’re completely choked up, your words coming out just above a whisper in volume.

You've had fights, but they never go as far as this. Usually, your mom would've hung up by now, leaving you with nothing but radio silence for months on end.

As toxic as this is, she's your mom. You couldn't live this life without her. She's toxic now, using your vulnerability against you every chance she gets, but she wasn't always that way.

She was once a loving mother, one who packed your lunch every morning for school, sending you off with a kiss on your cheek. A mom who'd pay extra to get more of your school pictures so she could put them on her desk at work and in her car. She used to show her love for you as any mother does, but you havent felt that in so long.

The last time you were home was a little over two months ago, and not once did she hug you, kiss you, or even touch you. She was cold and emotionless towards you.

You should've seen it coming. All this tension building up for months on end, it was going to have to bottom out eventually.

As much as the above is true, the words that flew out her mouth next shocked you beyond belief, causing the tears to flow freely from your waterline.

"Don't come back home, Y/N. I'm serious. You've done too much damage to my family." There’s a beeping on the other end of the phone, and it drops from your shaking hand to the carpeted floor beneath you.

Don't come back?

You were always sorry, apology after apology leaving your lips when you had to miss something your family organized. You thought it'd be okay. Your mom would get over herself eventually, and you'd come home when the company allowed you to.

You pick up the phone, hands a trembling mess, and call back, praying for another chance to explain yourself. You’re met with an automated message, the robotic voice piercing your ear.

"I'm sorry, this customer is unavailable."

You hang up and call again. She wouldn't have blocked you. It was just a silly fight, right?

"I'm sorry, this customer is-" you hang up before the message finishes, throwing your phone onto the floor next to you.

Your sobs become audible, and your body crumbles onto the floor, your knees thankful for the soft surface the carpet provides. Your fingers claw at the skin around your eyes, looking for a relief from the emotional pain coursing through your body.

Red lines mark your face, leaving the areas tender and puffy.

Your heart constricts in betrayal.

How could she?

She raised you, gave birth to you. How was it so easy for her?

The thought of your little brother enters your jumbled thoughts, and your heart breaks further.

He’s only six years old, and he is the best little brother you could ever ask for. He loves with all his heart, and you are lucky enough to get to experience it, to be apart of that little circle he could wrap his arms around and squeeze with all his might.

The thought of never squishing his chubby cheeks again destroys you, and you're unable to express the amount of heartache you're feeling.

So you scream.

You scream loud, your emotions ripping through your throat like shards of glass through skin.

You’re too distraught to notice the door to your bedroom whipping open. Chan and Minho stand there in the doorway, their eyes wide and mouths agape.

They've never seen you like this before. They've never seen anybody like this before, actually. Your screams are manic as they bounce off the walls around you, echoing around the room.

Once their shock dies off, they rush over to you. Minho is gentle in his grip but firm as he pries your hands away from your face. He gasps when he sees the damage your nails have already done, your once soft features now blotchy with angry red streaks.

You continue to scream, your nails now digging into Minho's arm. Chan grabs you from behind, doing his best to soothe you out of your hysteria.

"Y/N, you have to calm down. Please, it's ok, shhh," he says, his hold around you tight in an attempt to give you some sense of security.

"What happened? Can you talk to us?" you ignore Minho.

They accept that you're too worked up too answer them, and they let you finish your episode, the two of them doing everything they can to try and soothe you.

The rest of the guys in the dorm stand in the doorway now, your cries too agonizing for them to ignore. Varying degrees of shock are spread across their faces as they watch.

Chan starts to mumble sweet words to you as you come out of your panic attack, your brain finally able to register your surroundings again.

“It hurts,” you whimper, chest aching. “It’s so hard to breathe.”

"It's ok, we're here," he repeats, his head pressed up against the side of yours.

"Tell us five things you can see right now," Minho says from beside you, his grip still tight around your sweaty hands.

Your voice is scratchy, your throat red and scarred from your screams, but you oblige, knowing this will help you ground yourself. "I see my alarm clock," your eyes scan your room, landing on the bright digital clock you have sitting on your bedside table.

"Good," he hums, "What else?"

Your eyes travel to the door and you see the scared faces of the rest of your members. You lock in on Felix, his hands clenched tightly in front of him as salty tears stream down his face.

"I see Felix," you whisper, the pain from your throat becoming more and more noticeable.

He nods his head. "Good, now three more things. What else do you see?"

You look to your opened closet, your eyes catching the way your clothes spill out of your messy dresser onto your floor. "I see my favorite hoodie. I see my curtains, and I see that stain on my wall."

"Perfect, Y/N. Take a few deep breaths now." You breathe with Minho, your erratic breaths eventually matching his steady ones.

Finally calmed down enough, you slump back into Chan's hold, completely exhausted from the panic attack.

The room is silent for a moment, all the guys letting you have a second to gather your bearings.

"What happened?" Changbin steps through the rest of the members, settling next to the three of you on the floor. The rest follow suit, some sitting on your bed and some sitting beside Changbin.

"It's my mom again. I don't even know, I think she like, kicked me out? Like, kicked me out of the family?" You're almost embarrassed to explain the situation. You don't know why, maybe in fear your members will think your mom's right. That maybe you have been missing too many family functions, and that you should’ve made more time for them.

"Y/N, that's awful," hums of agreeance come throughout the room, and Hyunjin's words help to reassure you. "You don't deserve that, not one bit."

"She's completely out of line. Nothing you did warranted this at all," Seungmin chimes in. He knows thoughts of uncertainty are swirling through your head, the gaslighting from your mother turning your thoughts to mush.

"What about Ben?"

"What about him? You know your mom's full of shit, and the minute you show up at her doorstep she'll welcome you in. She's bluffing," Changbin pipes up again, his shoulders tight with anger.

"I don't think she is this time."

~ ~ ~

It's another day, and you've spent it the exact same way you spent the last five- curled up in your bed with the lights off, mindlessly scrolling through your phone.

Chan's come in to check on you periodically, but you’ve been alone for the most part.

The knock at your door alerts you from your sleepy state, and you call them in.

“Hey, I brought you some soup. Minho made it earlier today, and I figured you might be hungry,” Chan says, giving you a timid smile.

“Thanks, Chan, but I’m not really hungry right now. Can you just set it there?” You point to the little table you have at the end of your bed, “I’ll eat it later, I promise.”

Your phone starts to ring, and you gasp when you see who’s calling.

Dad

You pick up immediately, and you’re met with the distant yells of your parents. Confused, you ask, “Hello, Dad?”

“Sissy,” comes through. It’s Ben. His voice is small, and fear seeps through the speaker.

“Buddy, what’s wrong?” You keep your tears at bay, knowing you need to be strong for him. Chan sits down beside you when he hears the little voice you’re talking to, and he rubs your back in comfort.

“Mom and Dad are fighting again,” he sniffles, the microphone personifying every bit of his sadness. “I miss you, Sissy.”

“I miss you, more, buddy, but I don't think we're gonna be able to see each other for a while," you choke back sobs.

“But I miss you so much,” he’s crying harder now, and it’s hard to hold yourself together knowing he’s struggling like he is.

“I know, buddy, I know. I’m so sorry I missed your birthday, I couldn’t get a day off work,” you explain. Chan brings his finger up to your cheek, catching your tear before it’s able to fall from your cheek.

You hear Ben gasp, and your heart beat picks up. “Ben, is everything ok? What happened?”

“Mommy’s coming, and I have to go. She told me I couldn’t talk to you, but I stole Dad’s phone. Love you, sissy,” and he’s gone before you can even say it back.

Chan eventually leaves your side upon your request to be alone for a while. The soup beside your bed grows cold as your sadness overwhelms you once again.

~ ~ ~ "Alright, rise and shine!" you're awoken from your slumber by the bright light shining in from your window. You groan, throwing your pillow over your head to block the light. Your curtains hadn’t been opened in weeks, and you were planning on keeping it that way for as long as possible.

"Nope," the intruder says, ripping the pillow from off your face.

"We've allowed you to wallow in this room long enough. If we're not performing or doing an interview, you're laying in the dark in bed." Your eyes open, crusty and sore from the crying you did before falling asleep the night before.

Hyunjin's face paints your irises, his features full of determination.

"Time to get up." He throws your pillow back on the bed beside you, turning to walk out your door. "Oh, and pack a bag, we're flying somewhere today."

You shoot up in bed at that. "Nothing's on the schedule for today, so where are we going?”

‘Is it something I can get out of?’ is what you really want to say, but you keep it to yourself.

"It’s a surprise. Get up and get dressed, we leave in an hour," he finishes, closing the door behind him.

You slide out of bed, your limbs dragging your covers onto the floor. You don't bother picking them up, too tired to care about the messy appearance of your room.

You quickly get ready, throwing on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You pull your hair up into a ponytail, attempting to hide the grease that's accumulated over the past few days.

The ride to the airport is quiet and relatively peaceful. Everyone's happy to see you up and moving again, but the facade you've been putting on for the public has been washed away in your tired state, leaving your features drowsy. The dark circles under your eyes are prominent, your cheekbones sticking out more than usual. Your hair’s thinned a little, and your lips are cracked from your lack of hydration.

Through security and the rest of the way through the airport, you grip Jisung's arm, both of you needing the other's support in the overcrowded building.

Chan had explained to you that the managers wanted to start filming for the next SKZ Code a day early, fearing it might take longer than expected.

When you see the television next to your boarding terminal, your eyes practically bug out of your head.

Why would you be filming the next SKZ Code in your hometown?

That's the last place you want to go, your fight with your mom still fresh in your mind. You've been feeling the affects of it, her harsh words and actions sending you deep into a depressive episode.

Your members have noticed, trying their best to pull you from it, but nothing they did seem to work.

They can't begin to sympathize with you, none of them ever experiencing the kind of hurt you feel deep in your heart, wreaking havoc on your sanity. All they can do is offer you words of encouragement and love, assuring you that you still have a family, a very real one. While the nine of you may not be related by blood, the bond between all of you is strong.

They decided to take their efforts one step further, however, after seeing you begin to spiral. Your naps became longer and more frequent, often taking up most of the time you were supposed to be awake. You had been neglecting your self care routine, not even having enough energy to shower and brush your teeth most days.

Chan decided that enough is enough, so he convinced the managers to book you all a flight to your hometown to try and reconcile your family. As much as they wanted your mom out of your life, you were much more sane with her in it, and you needed your dad and your brother.

~ ~ ~

The flight was a success, everything going perfectly smooth.

You're now squished into the backseat of a car on the way to the house you'll all be staying at for the remainder of the filming.

The first thing you notice when pulling up into the driveway is how beautiful the house is. The front yard has the most angelic archways leading up to the house, with flowers lining the sidewalk and little statues spread about.

The house itself is amazing. Tall glass windows cover most of the front, the sunlight easily shining through, lighting up the front room.

The five of you- Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, I.N, and yourself- make your way into the house, and all of your previous worries disappear at the sight of the incredible interior. The walls are lined with expensive looking art, chandeliers hang from the tall ceilings, and the floors are marbled with white and gray.

Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, and Seungmin went to the store in the other van. They said they needed to pick up some last minute essentials for your stay.

Little did you know, they were actually going to your parents house. Their hopes were to get your mother to forgive you, or at least be civil so you could have a conversation with her.

Unfortunately, their visit did not go as planned, and it ended with your mother threatening to call the cops on them if they didn't leave the property immediately. This, of course, did not deter Lee Know from giving her a piece of his mind. His outburst was in Korean, and the insults he threw at her were so quick she'd never be able to recall them to look them up in a translator.

As much as they wanted to stay, to defend you and help you get your family back, they knew they couldn't. Getting law enforcement involved was the last thing they needed, knowing their managers would immediately regret sending them on this short getaway.

So, with that, they went back to the house with anger embedded in their hearts. They didn't want to have to tell you the real reason you all came here. They didn't know how you would react. Would you be thankful they tried to help? Would you feel betrayed that they'd went to your home without permission? They didn't know, but it was time to face the music; there was no SKZ Code to film, and they had no shopping bags in hand, so the truth was going to have to come out.

"Y/N," Chan sighs as he plops down next to you on the couch. You're both seated in the sunroom, looking out at the lake that sits in the backyard.

He gets your attention, and you slide your phone in your hoodie pocket, turning your body to face him. "What's up?"

He hates that he has to be the one to bring up your family again. You look so peaceful, your face no longer contorted with sorrow and pain like it'd been for weeks now, but he knows he has to tell you. It’s only fair to you. "So, please don't get mad, but this whole thing may or may not have been just a setup for you to see your family again."

Your heart beats out of your chest at the mention of seeing your family again. "Really, when can we go?" Your excitement radiates off of you, and you quickly stand to your feet.

Chan grabs ahold of your sleeve and gently guides you back down next to him, his eyes filled with pity. "Well, when we said we were going shopping earlier, we actually went to your house," he pauses, his eyes scanning your features; your face is blank, the excitement from seconds ago long gone. "Your mom wasn't exactly appreciative of our presence, and she kicked us out. Said she'd call the cops if we didn't leave. I'm so sorry, Y/N."

Your mind whirls with the information Chan just threw at you. "So, all of this," you gesture to your surroundings, "was for me? There's no SKZ Code?"

He shakes his head, his hand coming to rest on your arm, "No SKZ Code."

"And my mom still doesn't want to see me?"

He shakes his head again, slower this time. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I thought she'd be more open to talk to you, to us, but she wasn't. If I'd have known it'd end this way, I would've never done all this."

You sit there in silence, your gaze downcast. There's no sadness or anger in your heart, no tears welling up in your eyes. You expelled all the emotions you could over the past few weeks, and you've left yourself with nothing.

You stand, your only desire to go lay down on the plushy bed you found in one of the bedrooms when you were exploring earlier. As you walk away from Chan, he stops you.

"Where are you going?"

"To sleep."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I can come with you?"

"No thank you, I'll be fine," your voice is robotic as you decline his offer. You make your way to the room, climbing up the stairs to the second floor.

You're out like a light as soon as your head hits the feathery pillow, the day’s events catching up to you all at once.

~ ~ ~

You're rudely awoken by the sound of your phone ringing. You pull it out from your pocket, your eyes squinting at the brightness.

Your eyes widen at the contact name that appears on the screen.

Dad

You quickly press the answer button, scared if you wait too long the opportunity will disappear quicker than it showed up.

Your dad had always been a follower. He's the youngest of four siblings, so it was instinctual for him to do what they did. When he married your mom, he had been the same way. Whatever your mom said went.

Your dad loved you and your brother so much, with all his heart, but when your mom started to act up, he became distant. He was never mean to you; he just stopped calling one day, stopped texting. You knew it was because of your mom; a part of you thought he was scared of her.

The last few times you'd gone home, the tension between them was almost unbearable, but your dad always rolled with it. Essentially, he was your mom's very own punching bag. You felt bad for him, but only he had the power to do something about it. You certainly didn't want to say anything. You were already walking on eggshells with her, the last thing you wanted to do was upset her more.

You bring the phone up to your ear, a shaky 'Hello?' leaving your overly chapped lips.

"Hi, sweetie. It's Dad," his voice is as shaky as yours, and he sounds choked up.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it anymore, Y/N. I cannot listen to her and let her treat you this way anymore."

Your heart breaks for him. All throughout your childhood they had been a happily married couple. The love they had for each other was immense.

"I'm getting a divorce, and I'm taking your brother with me."

Your heart is so conflicted. On one hand, this is the greatest news you've ever heard. You'll get your dad and brother back! On the other hand, you'd never wish divorce on anyone. While this experience would not be exceptionally hard for you, given your nonexistent relationship with your mom and the fact that you don't even live at home, it would certainly be hard for the people you love.

"After your band mates came and tried to talk some sense into your mother, it made me realize how blind I've been these past few years. She’s been so mean and cruel to you, and I just sat by and watched."

You don't know how your little brother will take it. Your mom has spoiled him with everything under the sun. This will surely devastate him.

Your dad, too, this can't be easy for him. You know it's not easy for him from the quiet sobs you hear on the other side of the phone.

You're not sure what to say as he continues to cry. "Dad-"

"Honey, please forgive me," he pleads, his voice cracking. "I've let your mom walk all over us for years now, and I'm so sorry."

"Dad, it's ok. It's not your fault."

He's quiet for a moment. "I have Ben at Grandma's house now. Can you come? He's crying so hard. It wasn't easy to leave, your mom put up a fight and was screaming. I think it scared him a bit."

"Yes, Dad, I will be there as soon as possible. I'm leaving now. Can you send me the address so I can give it to the driver?"

He sends the address and you hang up, promising you'll see him in just a few minutes.

You hurriedly put your shoes on and run down the stairs. All your members are sat in the living room, some video game lighting up the television.

"My dad’s getting a divorce, and he has my brother at my grandma's right now. I have to go see them," you quickly ramble out, looking in your purse to make sure you have everything.

The guys are stunned at your demeanor. They haven't seen you move with such determination in weeks.

"I'm coming with you," Chan says matter-of-factly, standing from the sofa to put his shoes on.

"Chan, you don't have-"

"I want to. I just want to make sure everything's alright," he sighs at the look you give him, your eyes boring into his. "I'll even stay in the car."

You roll your eyes at that, but you don't fight him. You suppose it doesn't really matter if he's there; you just want to see your family again.

~ ~ ~

One short car ride later and you're jumping out of the car, the seatbelt flinging back against the door. Your brother waits for you on the porch, the biggest smile gracing his lips.

You sprint at him, swinging him off his feet and embracing him tightly. "I've missed you sissy!" he cheers, his little arms wound tight around your neck. His tears have dried since your phone call with your dad, leaving little streaks down his cheeks.

"I've missed you more, Bubby," you tell him, thankful to have him in your arms again. Your eyes crinkle as your mouth splits into the biggest smile.

Your dad comes outside upon your arrival and wraps the two of you in a hug, giving you a tight squeeze. His eyes meet Chan's over your shoulder, who decided to step just outside of the car.

'Thank you,' your dad mouths to Chan, giving him a grateful smile.

‘Thank you’ for what? Chan wasn’t exactly sure. Bringing you to him? He’d do it a million times over. Taking care of you? He’d never let you struggle without him by your side.

Chan gives him a thumbs up in reply, just happy to see you happy again.

738 notes · View notes

zeroeightzeroone · 5 months

Text

bad days - kim seungmin

genre: comfort

pairings: seungmin x gender neutral reader

wc ~1k | moodboard

notes: if this looks familiar, it was originally posted to my secondary blog @zerothreetwentyfive so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"hey dummy, i'm home."

he says as he's shrugging off his black windbreaker, revealing a white t-shirt underneath and hanging it on the back of the door. seungmin turns around, noticing the way the lamp is clicked on at the same time the ceiling lights are opened as well, and then his eyes move over to you lying in bed. even with a blanket draped over you, he can see that you're curled up into a ball, the bottom half of your face hidden behind the pillow you're clutching to your chest. the brunette's heart drops when his eyes meet yours, glossy and avoiding his own.

"oh bubs…" he rushes over, kneeling to be eye level with you, "what's wrong?"

his hand moves to touch you, caressing your hair gently as you sniffle, no words coming from your mouth. seungmin scans over the top half of your face that isn't covered by the pillow, looking at your hooded eyes, eyelashes clumped together from the tears and your flushed, damp cheeks.

a pout adorns seungmin's lips at the sight of you, "what's got my baby so down? hmm?"

your eyes move to look into his, the tears caught in your eyelashes sparkling from the lamp.

"is it another one of those days?" seungmin asks softly, his hand still stroking your hair.

this time you nod your head slowly. at that his lips purse in a sympathetic smile; knowing how down you'd get on those bad days. the change in your eyes apparent on a good day versus bad, the bliss one day and misery in the next.

"ahh. how about this bubs? i'll take a quick shower, rinse off all the practice sweat and i'll climb in right next to you."

you nod.

seungmin leans forward and presses a tender kiss to your forehead. naturally your eyes close and he pulls away with a smile seeing your eyes flutter open.

you watch as seungmin pushes himself up, off his knees to get ready for his shower: snatching some clothes to change into, and grabbing the towel hanging on the back of the door before he scampers out of the room and into the bathroom. you hear the water running through the faucet, a delay, then the sound of the water rushing from the shower head along with seungmin singing; during longer showers he would sing songs from beginning to end, but during quick ones he would sing random lyrics and tunes. the sound of seungmin's singing has you sighing deeply, the tone of his voice washing a wave of comfort over your body, allowing it to release some of the tension.

even when the water stops running, he continues to hum different tunes as he quickly dries himself off and dresses himself. again, you hear the sound of seungmin's feet against the floor as he rushes back into the bedroom, he's still wearing a white t-shirt but this one has a design printed on the front whilst he wears a pair of plaid pajama pants. the boy hangs his damp towel on the door before shutting off the ceiling lights and climbing under the covers with you.

the fragrant smell of seungmin's body wash and laundry detergent engulfing your senses as he pulls your body away from the edge and into his chest, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. the heat radiating off his body and onto yours has you relaxing in his arms, your back pressed up against his front as he places his right hand over one of yours clutching the pillow.

"i'm here bubs," he says softly from behind you, "whatever you need, i'm right here."

the weight on your chest, lifts at his words.

after being together for over a year, through trial and error, he learned how could be of comfort to you on your bad days. the first couple of times, seungmin tried to talk to you about it, trying to find solutions to make you feel better. while his intentions were good, it only added to the stress and negativity looming inside your head. a lot of the time, you couldn't pinpoint the cause of these feelings. the emotional burden just weighing you down with no clear explanation or reasoning. of course, there were times when the reason for your feelings were apparent but talking about your emotions had never come easy to you.

eventually he learned that the solution wasn't always something that came with long discussions, it came with him just being there. seungmin's presence brought you a sense of comfort. a feeling of relief washing over you whenever he was near, knowing that you didn't need to go through these bad days alone.

seungmin would always be there: verbally or physically, whatever you needed.

seungmin's right arm draped around your body lifts up the slightest bit when he feels you moving. you're abandoning the pillow and turning to face him, his left arm moving under your head as your left arm is now draped around his body, hands fiddling at the fabric of his shirt. seungmin takes this opportunity to cradle your head into his chest using the arm under your head to push you a bit closer, his left hand now gently grazing over your scalp in a small massaging manner. the sound of seungmin's steady heartbeat has you further nuzzling into him.

"thank you," your words are barely even a whisper but seungmin can hear you loud and clear.

he hums, "anytime bubs."

the feeling of seungmin's body pressed up against yours, the steady rhythm of his pulse has your eyes growing heavy, the tranquil atmosphere lulling you to sleep.

seungmin notices how your body fully relaxes in his arms, your fingers stopping their movement around his shirt and how your breathing has slowed down. craning his head the slightest bit, he takes a peek at your face; your eyes closed, lips slightly parted as soft breaths pass through, your cheeks still the slightest bit rosy. seungmin's lips turn up into a cheeky grin, the sight of you peacefully dozed off in his arms never failing to make his heart flip.

"goodnight bubs, sweet dreams."

main masterlist

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horanghaeluvsinniehae · 2 months

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STRAY KIDS!BF COMFORTING YOU WHEN YOU’RE UPSET

||ateez version||

Pairing: skz!bf x gn!reader

Disclaimer: mentions of food, panic attack, curse words, negative feelings in general and reader is quite sad (tell me if i missed anything)

A/n: hi guys…i know it’s messy and sad im sorry:( i wrote it in the verge of tears bc i wanted some comfort, but i hope it’s enjoyable:( thank you for reading!! If you want to request then please do so because i need ideas!!

Here’s my masterlist for better works

Please take care of yourself and be safe!🫂❤️‍🩹

Taglist: @justwonder113 @ihrtlix (if you want to be added please comment or write into asks!)

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skz-streamer · 8 months

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SIMPTOBER ;)

Hiiii :))) so Ik kinktober planning is going around....and since I dont rlly write smut I thought I would create a spin off 😍 sooo I present to you... a fluffy, comforting, and feet-kicking October!

The small things that you do M-List

Day 1: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Day 2: Lee Know x Fem!Reader

Day 3: Changbin x Fem!Reader

Day 4: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Day 5: Jisung x Fem!Reader

Day 6: Felix x Fem!Reader

Day 7: Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Day 8: Jeongin x Fem!Reader

Reminders! M-List

Day 9: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Day 10: Lee Know x Fem!Reader

Day 11: Changbin x Fem!Reader

Day 12: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Day 13: Jisung x Fem!Reader

Day 14: Felix x Fem!Reader

Day 15: Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Day 16: Jeongin x Fem!Reader

First Dates M-List

Day 17: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Day 18: Lee Know x Fem!Reader

Day 19: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Day 20: Jisung x Fem!Reader

Day 21: Felix x Fem!Reader

+ Changbin x Fem!Reader

Day 22: Seungmin x Fem!Reader

Day 23: Jeongin x Fem!Reader

Skz as tropes M-list

Day 24: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader - First love

Day 25: Lee Know x Fem!Reader - He Fell Harder

Day 26: Jeongin x Fem!Reader-Childhood Lovers

Day 27: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader -Love @ first sight

Day 28: Jisung x Fem!Reader - Bffs to Lovers

+ Changbin x Fem!Reader - Brothers Bestfriend

Day 29: Felix x Fem!Reader - Soulmates

Day 30: Seungmin x Fem!Reader - Secret Crush

DAY 31! FIC: Lee Know x Fem!Reader - Crash Course

Permanet Taglist: @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @ot8skz-wifey @ren0325 @felixvsp @crybabyychu @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno @herarcadewasteland @dabiscrustyfeet @kai-lee08

+ a few other moots: @seo--changbin @seospicybin @channieslilbeaniee @kaciidubs @milkandhyunnie @felixvsp

If you wanna be added to the taglist lmk here! (if you choose to you can just be added to this series :)

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mixtape-racha · 9 months

Note

YAYYYYYY 100 followersssss :) im so happy for youuuuu :)))))

okay, here is my request... hehe, im suchhh a sucker for hurt comfort and I loveeee fem 9th member au's. but like not smut or like fwb, just like a really juicy story y'know? I haven't been able to find any of those two categories combined tho, especially into like a longer fic, like it's always in the hundreds (I would love it if it was a little longer, no pressure tho :). literally, anything works, from some kinda mess up on stage to maybe you messing up a relationship w a member??? idk. I'm letting ur thoughts run wild here... THANK YOU AND CONGRATSSSS

(im sorry im really vague in requests lol)

YAYYYY THO IM LIKE REALLYYYY PROUD OF YOU<<<3333 LOV U BB KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DOOOO

thank you so much my lovely bae!! ilysm and i hope i did this request justice!! i kind of went off on a tangent and got carried away with the plot waaa <3

---------------

sorry seems to be the hardest word

pairing: ot8 x fem!9th member!reader

warnings: angst, hurt comfort, reader snapping at the members, reader being physically unwell, fluff at the end

words: 2.29k

everything was going wrong today, and you truly meant every. fucking. thing.

somehow, you had managed to turn your alarm off the night before (probably because you fell asleep while on your phone, accidentally calling your mom in you sleep in the process), and none of the guys took the initiative to wake you up when they got up.

okay, sure, you couldn’t blame them entirely. you were a grown woman, and you could look after yourself. but weren’t you supposed to be a team? eight other people surrounding you, and none of them thought to check on you? especially when you were usually up and alert before they were? no, instead they were all out the door without even knocking to see if you were feeling okay. so much for being your brothers and best friends.

so god forbid, you were late this morning. you managed to turn up at the company for your vocal lessons only ten minute late, but it felt awful as you’d never been late before. you were so incredibly lucky to get the opportunity to debut with skz, especially joining the group later in their career and being the only girl. you wanted to do everything perfectly to show that you deserved to be where you were, and with the way today was shaping out you were so disappointed with yourself.

but then - it got worse. you, in your rush to leave the dorms, had forgotten your sheet music, leaving your vocal teacher to be short and snappy with you. yeah, you brought it up on your phone instead, but she was strict, and a firm believer in “good old-fashioned pen and paper over your silly little radio devices nowadays”. her attitude towards you for the remainder of your lesson affected you more than you liked to admit - excusing yourself to the bathroom to have a little cry before you headed to the studio.

for some reason, none of your schedules were properly coordinated today, leaving jisung to be the one in the studio with you - rather than chan, like usual - while you recorded your lines for the demos to be sent to the company later in the month, when you’d decide the songs for the new album you had upcoming later in the year.

jisung was always the nicest to you, especially when he could tell you were having a rough day - you were both very alike in that sense, very attentive towards each other as if you could tell what the other was feeling.

however, it seemed today that something had crawled up his ass and died. he was almost as snappy as your vocal teacher, and you were quite frankly sick of it. you kept messing up your lines; whether from the stress or the ache building in your throat (god you hoped you weren’t getting sick), you weren’t sure. but clearly, jisung wouldn’t stand for it.

“honestly, (y/n), you might as well just call it a day and come back to this with chan-hyung another day. i need to get on with other stuff.” he sighed, dismissively, as you bit back the tears fighting to escape your eyes. he wouldn’t even look at you, and your stomach was doing somersaults. was he really that mad? surely he could see how hard you were trying.

but instead of confronting him, you just grabbed your belongings and left after silently agreeing. no one answered your message on the group chat when you asked if anyone was down to get lunch together, even though you could see basically everyone had read it, so you retreated to the canteen alone before you had to go to practice with the boys.

as the ache in your throat spread to your joints, fatigue plaguing you, you trudged up to the practice room for rehearsals with the boys. you were learning a new dance - in fact, the already chosen title track for the new album, and deep down you were dreading it. it was more difficult than you had imagined, and definitely aimed more towards moves the boys could do compared to you. you loved the boys, but sometimes you felt like they forgot that men and women’s bodies worked differently.

surprisingly, you weren’t the last to arrive, squashing your fear of another thing going wrong.

but just as soon as practice began, your fear was reawakened. the ache in your joints was making the dance more difficult for you to execute, and you could feel the annoyance radiating off of minho’s body even if he wouldn’t admit it. you stumbled a few times, almost knocking into felix, who looked at you more frustrated than concerned.

“seriously, (n/n), what’s going on? it’s really not that hard. get your head in the game.”

you huffed, shaking out your limbs and telling minho to start the track again. maybe if you ignored your surroundings, ignored how you were feeling, then things would be easier. you could block out minho’s harsh criticisms - he was probably just tired. you could block out everything, knowing the boys were suffering just as much as you lately. but when the music stopped again, and everyone was talking at you, voice after voice lapping over each other you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“shut the fuck up! shut up, shut up, shut up! give me a fucking break, i’m trying my hardest!”

you honestly didn’t mean to snap, you were just so overwhelmed and couldn’t take anymore. when chan tried to put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you flung it off, all your annoyance and stress from the day building up at once.

“don’t fucking touch me. i don’t need your pity, i don’t need you to tell me that i don’t know how to do my job well enough. this is the fucking worst day of my life and you all keep making it worse!”

every fiber of your being was telling you to stop, to be reasonable, but it was like your mouth was making its own decisions. you couldn’t tell which member it was, but you were interrupting the gentle call of your name before you could even control it.

“and no, before any of you try to be funny, i’m not on my period,” you sneered, anger bubbling under your skin as you saw jisung look away sheepishly. “i’m just sick of feeling like i have to fight to prove i’m good enough, like i’m not one of you guys yet. we’re supposed to be a team, but all day i’ve been pushed to the side and treated like i don’t matter. i’m sick of it!”

you breathed heavily, grabbing your duffle bag from the side of the room and storming towards the door.

“i’m staying with yeji tonight, leave me the fuck alone.”

was all you said before leaving the boys stood in shock, confused as to why you were acting like you hated them.

regrettably, the minute you found yourself in yeji’s dorm and explained your day to her, you knew you were in the wrong. how could you let yourself treat your best friends that way? they didn’t deserve that, and you would be most understanding if they never forgave you. it was only when the throb in your head and ache in your joints became too much that you finally allowed yourself to sleep.

chan’s apology

luckily, you and the boys were granted a week off a while ago, and today marked the first day of that week. however, knowing chris he was probably still hauled up in the studio from the night before. it was around 3am (yeji shouldn’t have let you crash so early, your sleep schedule was going to be manic), so you pulled yourself together before making the decision to go visit him.

he may not even want to see you after your little outburst, but you could still try.

you stopped by the convenience store on your way to the studio, grabbing some snacks and some drinks just to be on the safe side. carefully checking the group chat, you saw that changbin was still in the studio with chan and you hoped you could get there before he left - it might be easier to kill two birds with one stone. you were just glad you bought way too much food for just two people.

you smiled politely, bowing at the security guard as he let you into the building, heart thumping in your ears as you carefully traced the steps to chan’s studio.

when you finally approached the door, you had to take a minute to prepare yourself to knock. you heard chan’s voice mumbling behind the door once you did, nervously waiting until he came and opened it.

he looked surprised to see you, frozen for a moment before quickly ushering you in and sitting you on the couch next to changbin. almost in instinct, changbin’s arm was slung around your shoulder - something he always did when you were close by, relishing in the fact he wasn’t the shortest in the group anymore.

you sheepishly held out the bag containing all the goodies you got at the convenience store to chan, a small smile on your face when he took it.

“got you some snacks.. kind of guessed you might have forgotten to eat.” your voice was quiet, ashamed. you just hoped they wouldn’t hold your outburst against you.

but when chan grinned, you knew he could never be mad at you for long.

“we were worried about you, y’know? that’s why jisung let you go early today - something seemed off and we didn’t want you to get too overwhelmed.” changbin said from next to you, the hand on your shoulder rubbing it comfortingly.

you couldn’t stop the tears from welling up behind your eyes again, but bit them back in fear they’d think you were looking for sympathy.

“i– i’m so sorry. i’ve just had an awful day, and i feel like shit, but that doesn’t excuse my actions, and i shouldn’t have snapped at you all - you couldn’t have known, and its not your fault.”

you explained why your day had been so bad to them (after some pushing from chan), and how you were feeling physically, causing changbin to look at you with great worry.

they indulged in a small cuddle session, feasting on the snacks you provided while they tried to help cheer you up. and honestly, it worked, just talking through how you were feeling, and gettin constructive feedback rather than just a shoulder to lean on was relieving.

you couldn’t apologize to them more, feeling so ashamed of your actions, but they were quick to reassure you it was okay - everyone had bad days, you were only human after all. you just needed to work on your communication a little bit.

when you finally got ready to head back to the dorm at 5am, you felt better than you had in a long time, actually.

apology numbers one and two: complete.

but when you arrived back at the dorm, head peacefully resting on changbin’s shoulder, what you weren’t expecting to walk into was what you all called a “cuddle pool” - the sofa bed pulled out, covered with pillows and blankets - and a spot waiting for you between felix and seungmin.

your eyes watered at the expectant faces of your soul-brothers, small sobs leaving your lips as your shoulders shook. god, the day had taken a toll on you - you couldn’t remember the last time you cried in front of the boys.

it was only then that minho - who you hadn’t seen standing by the door - scooped you into a hug.

“oh, angel,” he frowned, a hand pressed to your forehead. “you’re burning up. is that why you felt so bad earlier?”

words seemed to fail you, and all you could do was nod as your grip on his sweater tightened. it certainly wouldn’t be the first time you got sick from stress, but you hated being sick. you hated feeling out of control in your own body, and despised being doted on like you were unable. however, this time… you think you could let it slide. you just needed your boys close by right now.

they seemed to enjoy looking after you, and you felt you owed them that after the situation in the practice room.

minho was quick to place on you on the couch, felix and seungmin suffocating you in a bone-crushing hug. jisung handed you the tv remote, saying you could choose to watch whatever you wanted, and that everyone would be having a slumber party in the living room until you felt better.

minho and chan had gone to make you some chicken noodle soup - using felix’s mom’s recipe, which was known for being a lifesaver in your dorm. jeongin was quick to grab you your comfort plushie, taking his place on the floor by your feet - the two of you were 100% keen on physical affection, but having him close by helped.

within merely an hour, all nine of you were curled up, an animated disney movie playing, with soup and mugs of tea being passed around the room. it was nice, and it felt so good to have your boys so close and willing to help you.

you definitely took on changbin’s mention of needing to improve on communication, wanting nothing more than to improve yourself for the little family you had build around you. and yeah you were sick, and they would probably get sick too by being in such close proximity to you, but that was a problem for another day. you’d just return the favor of looking after them.

you just knew you were lucky to have them.

taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha

#mixtape-racha #mixtape-racha fic #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz 9th member #fem reader #chan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #skz hurt comfort #skz angst

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parkinglotdelulu · 10 months

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bf!skz x gn!reader - How each member helps you with anxiety ⛅️🧸

a/n: my qualifications for writing this is I have major anxiety and these are all the things I wish people would do for me that match skz members personality! enjoy - 🌞

tw: mentions of anxiety

word count: 615

Chan

I feel like Chan would definitely be one to hold you when you are feeling anxious. First of all his hugs seem so safe and warm. But if you’re in a not-so-private place he would definitely just hold your hand or rest his hand on your knee. That small amount of contact with a reassuring squeeze will make you feel calmer and safer.

Lee Know

Lee Know is definitely the type of person to show love and care through actions rather than words. So when you are super anxious, he would ensure you’ve eaten and drank water. Having low blood sugar when you’re anxious is really terrible so he wants to make sure you're healthy. I think Lee Know would also just try and be around you, just sitting next to you and not leaving your side to show his support.

Changbin

I think changbin would try to make you laugh. Try and distract you from overthinking and spiraling by doing something funny or just being extra cute. Whether its going cutesy poses or showing you funny videos. He would try everything just to make you smile again. Oh and he is most definitely going to show you the most recent girl group dance he learned.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin would want to take you out for a peaceful day of activities. You guys would go on a walk through the park, get food and just try to enjoy the beauty of the world around you instead. But after a long day you guys would definitely go stargazing and talk about anything and everything. Have a deep conversation that leaves not only you, but hyunjin as well, with a new perspective and you’ll feel ever closer than before…no matter how many times you do it.

Han

As we know Han always has his headphones, I don’t think he leaves the house without them tbh. So if you're in a public (or even private) setting and get overwhelmed/ anxious he would most definitely give you his headphones in a heartbeat. He would even go a step further with picking out songs or even having a playlist for you ready to go whenever you're anxious.

Felix

Felix of course is a touchy person and while that brings you great comfort when you're anxious, it's not the only thing Felix will do. He is a gamer, so honestly I feel like he would try to distract you with a game. Either he will pull up a chair or let you sit with him and watch him play, or he would have you guys play Mario Kart together. Either way, you're going to feel safe in his arms and distracted from your thoughts with games.

Seungmin

Seungmin is definitely not as much of a touchy person but I feel like he would hold your hand and make you tell him what was wrong and what's going through your head just so he can debunk your anxious thoughts. I feel like Seungmin is just very practical and takes the approach of processing your anxieties with you.

Jeongin

I think he would also be one to try and distract you. He would take you out to see a movie or go get food. Anything to get you out of the house because sometimes you need that. A breath of fresh air and jeongin always knows when you are the type of anxious that needs a distraction. For real this man would DRAG you out of bed and not tell you where you are going. Of course, this is all out of love, he wouldn't dare to actually force you to go somewhere if you truly weren't up for it!

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minkkumaz · 11 months

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A MATCH INTO WATER

seungmin never wanted things to end up this way, he hated seeing you like this. as he kissed up your scarred skin, he let you know that you were in this together, and he was never going to let you go.

PIERCE THE VEIL series

PAIRING kim seungmin x gn!reader WC 1.3k TAGS established relationship trope. angst. hurt/comfort. major tw. self - harm. blood. mentions of depression + anti depressants. blade mention. pet names: pup, pretty. OMI NOTE if you're going through a hard time just know there is always somebody you can talk to. get the help you need my loves!

as you looked into the cracked mirror, you were terrified of the person you’d become. everything was faded into nothing, you were frozen in place. dried up blood littered your wrists and chest, and tear marks stained your face.

the vicious beating in your chest was telling you that all you could do was cry. this feeling alone made you sick to your stomach, but you couldn’t let it go.

this secret was between you and your abused body. seungmin was blissfully unaware how deep your problems actually were. he never knew about the endless rabbit hole of depression and self harm. however, you would try your absolute best to keep it this way. things would only be worse if he knew, it’d break him.

from your place in the locked bathroom, you heard a door creak open, which immediately set you into a panic. you scrambled around, wiping down the blood stained countertops, hiding the blade in a contact lens holder, and putting your hoodie back on.

the voices from all the boys piling into the dorms got more prominent. you fixed yourself up to look presentable and left the bathroom to greet them.

“hi guys, you’re home a lot earlier than i expected!” you greet everyone, laughing nervously. seungmin immediately rushes towards you to embrace you in a hug.

“i know, pup, i missed you. chan thinks we all need a break from working on the comeback.” his scent overclouded your senses. sweet but musky, and it was all too familiar. you gently wrap your arms around his waist

“that’s good, i’m glad. are you guys going to hang out here or go out somewhere?” you question, pulling away from your boyfriend to look at everyone else.

“we were thinking about a movie night, you down?” felix asked as you responded with a happy nod, “cool, let’s get snacks ready?”

“i get to pick the movie!” han yelled snatching the remote, immediately getting chased down by jeongin.

“go sit down love, i’ll help felix with snacks and stuff.” you tell seungmin

“you’re too good for me.” he kisses the top of your head and pulls away from you to go to the couch.

as you make your way to the kitchen, you ignore the pit in your stomach, trying to get your heart beat to slow down. you see felix putting two bags of popcorn kernels in the microwave before he finally feels you there.

“how are you, y/n? i’m just making the popcorn right now, could you please get me a bowl?” he grins at you, truly radiating like the sunshine he is.

“of course! i’m pretty good. excited for your comeback?” you respond, kneeling down into the cupboard below, searching for a bowl big enough. what you didn’t know is when you were reaching, your sleeve rode up.

at first, he didn’t completely catch it. but when he did a double take, he went pale. he was fumbling with the third popcorn bag, trying to stablize his suddenly heavy breathing.

“um, yeah yeah i am. can you excuse me for a second?” he tells you, walking off suddenly. it was a little weird, but you try your best to ignore it and get him what he needs.

he moves to the living room with heavy steps, seeing seungmin sitting peacefully on the couch and scrolling on his phone, “seungmin can i talk to you privately for a second?”

felix said this quiet enough that only seungmin could hear, trying his best not to gain attention from any of the members.

“sure, what’s up?” he follows behind felix into the hallway, a little worried about what he has to tell him; especially in private.

“is something wrong with y/n?” he hesitates, fidgeting with his hands. “why would you say that? did something happen?” seungmin puts his hands in his pocket, questioning the boy.

“we were in the kitchen and i had asked them to get a bowl for me, right– when they reached in the back, their sleeve rode up and i saw a bunch of scars on their arm seungmin…” he stared at the floor, “and it’s not like they were faded or anything, otherwise i wouldn’t have told you. but they were still bleeding.”

seungmin had no idea what to say. in that moment it almost felt as if his world stopped completely. his face burned hot, and was almost on the verge of tears. what was he supposed to feel when hearing such gut wrenching information about you?

“fuck... are you sure that’s what you saw?” he mumbled, breathing harder to prevent himself from crying.

“i’m pretty sure, you should just talk to them. i won’t tell anyone i promise.”

felix left seungmin with his thoughts in the hallway. it felt like he was on fire. the mere thought of the person he loved the most hurting so badly made him want to scream. it was then that you came into the hallway, clueless about the interaction you were about to have.

“minnie what’s wrong? felix told me to come talk to you…” you furrowed your eyebrows. the aura he gave off was scary, almost making you breathless.

he didn’t say anything besides grabbing your arm and pulling up your sleeve. it confirmed all of his suspicions, so he let everything pour out.

you felt like a deer in headlights, being caught like this. you couldn’t say anything. he carefully led you into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and sitting you on the edge of his bed. he kneeled between your legs, looking up at you.

“y/n, how long have you been hurting yourself?” he chokes.

seeing him like this was entirely fucked up. you felt absolutely terrible for making him worry so bad about you. it was exactly what you didn’t want to happen. you were so scared.

“i’m so sorry seungmin i– i really am.” you sniffle out, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweater.

“pup don’t apologize.. but you need to tell me. is it just your arms?” you shake your head hesitantly before pulling your sweater off your head.

red marks were littered on your previously porcelain skin. it mainly covered your arms, but there were two or three on your chest. he felt sick, covering his mouth in shock.

“if you want to break up with me i understand… i’m disgusting.” you whimper, feeling the cold air coming from the ac to touch your half bare body.

“fuck.. baby no.” he gets up from beneath you, gently holding you in his arms, “you’re not disgusting at all, it just kills me to see that you’re abusing your body like this. you don’t deserve it at all.”

“i’m sorry.” you mutter, ashamed.

“but why?” he whispers, cradling your head.

“i didn’t want to tell you seungmin.. i was so so scared.” you cried, “i’ve been so depressed for awhile. i tried taking pills i did. it just made me feel so numb, and you make me feel so happy. but sometimes things happen and i feel like this is the only way out of it.” you heard him sigh deeply, pulling away from you and taking your hurt arms in his hand. he gently kissed up your arms, being careful not to hurt you.

“i still think you’re beautiful, i just don’t want to lose the love of my life.” his hands trailed down to yours, rubbing circles into your palm, “promise me you’ll try your best to stop hurting yourself. i’m here to help you.”

“you won’t, i promise.” you sobbed.

“that’s my pretty pup. lets get you cleaned up and in different clothes. we can talk more about this later okay? you don’t have to be scared, i’m not mad at you.”

you nod quietly letting him walk you to the bathroom, careful not to be seen by any of the members. as he wiped a wet rag against your jagged skin, you felt eternally grateful for how much love he gave you.

it was so hard to come past this, but you knew you could fight back as long as he was with you.

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PIERCE THE VEIL series

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arcanesea · 4 months

Text

lullaby

PAIRING: seungmin x reader GENRE: hurt-comfort WC: 427 WARNING: implications of sleep disorder

"What is it?" Seungmin asks when you stand in the doorway, fiddling with your oversized cardigan. He was trying to finish a project and your figure was just standing there in the corner of his eyes for a couple minutes now.

"Can you sing for me?" you ask meekly.

These days, sleep doesn't come as easily for you. You keep tossing and turning at night, unable to shut down the chattering in your brain. So when Seungmin asked if he could borrow your work room for a change of scenery, you quickly approved with another agenda in mind.

"Why should I?" he joked. You didn't expect him to agree so quickly though, and you already prepared a counter for his witty remarks. But standing here, now, you just don't even want to try. He turned to look at you, feeling a knot in his chest from the way you just looked so... empty. "Can you wait 5 minutes? I'll send this email first."

You nodded before walking back to your room and lying down in your dimly lit bedroom.

Seungmin came not long after, standing at the foot of the bed, looking confused. What was he supposed to do? Just sit there and sing? should he pat your feet? or head?

"Do you want to cuddle?" he asks, surprising the both of you. He lowers his head, cursing silently. "I mean, I heard it helps you fall asleep faster?"

"Are you okay with that?" you ask. He nods before getting on the bed, rubbing his hands on his jeans before pulling you closer.

"Has it been going for long?" he asks when you're trying to find the comfortable spot.

"On and off," you hesitate, trying not to make it sound bad. Seungmin only nods, parts of him wondering what calmed you down before and what pushed you to ask him to sing just now. But he didn't ask, not now, he thinks.

When you're safely nestled into his chest, he starts singing the lullaby, humming on random parts because he forgot the lyrics. The moment he feels you relaxed, he pulls away a bit only to cause you to come back to consciousness.

"Sorry," he whispered, then proceeded to sing again from the first line. The atmosphere is starting to affect Seungmin and he tries his best to fight it off.

"Everything's gonna be okay," he murmurs, well aware that you have fallen asleep minutes ago. He slowly drifts off, following you to the dreamland.

"I'll guard you." He promised genuinely before letting his eyes close completely.

a/n. i am once again sleep-deprived so, this is very much self-insert

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astraystayyh · 10 months

Text

skz when you are stressed and overworked

alternatively, what love languages of theirs would manifest <3 just a little smtg i wrote for anyone who's stressed,, sending you warm hugs <333

Chan : physical touch

you've been staring at your computer for the past four hours

so when you hear the front door open, you quickly run to the bathroom to freshen up

giving three quick slaps to your face so chan wouldn't notice how tired you are

but as soon as he sees you, he opens his arms wide, inviting you in with a soft smile on his face

once his arms encircle you, you feel yourself tear up

the hug is warm and comforting and it makes all your self-restraint dissolve

you start to sob, and chan tries to let go to look at you

but you only tighten your hold on him

so he bends down slowly to pick you up as he moves to the nearest couch

he sits there and your legs are straddling his lap, and he sways you gently, his hand threading through your hair

he doesn't let go as you cry your entire stress out

he just holds you tightly to him, your chest snug against his

he's just like "it's okay, you're okay honey, i got you"

when you pull away, hiccuping, he gently wipes your tears away

grabbing your face between his hands to place a kiss on your forehead

"breathe for me, sweetheart"

he doesn't let go of you the entire night

Minho : acts of service

minho can sense your breakdown coming

he notices how stressed you are

but he doesn't want to pressure you or force you to stop working

so instead, he tries to lighten your load

doing your laundry, buying your groceries for you, washing the dishes in your sink

small acts that he does in silence in the hopes that it will make you feel better

when it's 10 pm and he comes into your room

he sees you sitting in front of your mirror, staring blankly ahead, freshly showered

he gently squeezes your right shoulder and you melt into his touch, leaning your cheek onto his hand

he then sits you on the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of you to apply the products for you

when you see how concentrated he is at picking the right products and in the right order

you start to tear up

because of the stress but mostly because of how loved he makes you feel, since you notice every little action of his

so when you start crying he panics, rising up in an attempt to stop your tears from falling

"hey, hey, baby. I'm sorry I'll get the order right"

but you shake your head and grab him from the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you

you kiss him as hard as you can, trying your best to convey how grateful you are for him

Changbin : quality time + gift (in a food form) giving

Changbin can tell you are overworking yourself

so he tries to prevent a breakdown from happening

he knows that what you need is a distraction and a way to recharge yourself

so one night when you are busy working in your bedroom

he sneakily opens the door and pulls you by your hand

he treats you like a kid, picking you up and only placing you down to slip a pair of shoes in your feet

and pulling a hoodie over your head

then he's picking you up again and running to the street with you in his arms

once he's sure you won't run away, he places you down the ground and laces his hand with yours

he takes you on a walk, around the neighborhood, and he's like "what are you craving? what do you want to eat? I'll buy anything for you"

when you finally decide on a meal he takes you to a nearby park where you're alone

"tell me about it, baby" he tells you while you're both eating

so you vent about everything's that's bothering you

he listens to you intently and when you are done he's like "do you want comfort or advice?"

if it's comfort then he's telling you how proud he is of you and how everything you are feeling is valid

if it's advice then he's trying to figure out how you can write four essays in one day

but he'll be there with you

and when you are back home you're feeling very recharged

because a break with him is exactly what you needed

Hyunjin : quality time + physical touch

hyunjin knows that when you're stressed you tend to forget to take care of yourself

so he's always there to remind you

texts throughout the day, little notes left on your desk and fridge

"drink water baby!!" "did you eat? you should eat again"

but he also wants to do something really meagninful for you to help you destress

so one night when you are coming home from the library

you open the door and you are met with a candlelight dinner

and you can see a makeshift pillow fort built in the living room

as soon as he sees you he's all rambling "i know I'm not the best cook and i understand if you don't want to eat it and we can always order takeout-"

and you're like shut up and kiss me

and when you realize he's made you dinner and dessert and ordered your favorite icecream, you're tearing up again

but he knows how good it feels to cry so he just opens his arms for you and you bury yourself in him

he gently pats your back as you cry

and once you're done he smiles so brightly at you, bopping your nose with his finger

he's like "no more crying okay?"

and he spends the entire night trying his hardest to make you laugh

Han : words of reassurance

instead of leaving you alone when you are working

han is always there

he's besides you on the bed working on a track of his own

or just scrolling through his phone

but he's there, glancing at you from time to time as if you're a ticking time bomb

as soon as he notices that your sighs are getting longer and heavier

he stands up quickly from his place

he grabs your face between his hands, looking at you with wide eyes

"baby you are so smart you got this. and i love you. and i can't believe I'm dating the smartest person in the world"

just compliment after compliment and sometimes they are so far fetched you can't help but giggle

but when you are really at your lowest point and on the verge of breaking down

he just guides you to the bed and his voice is so soft

and it takes on that low tone of his, as if he hasn't been so sure about anything in his life

he's looking you right in the eye while telling you how proud he is of you

and you can't help but tear up at his words

because it gets hard and sometimes all you need to hear is that someone is proud of you

he then pecks your face all over

nose, eyelids, forehead and cheeks, until you are smiling widely again

Felix : physical touch + gift (in food form again) giving

he's a massage fairy i will die by this hill

at the end of the day he's always there ready to undo any knot in your body

he's so gentle with you, massaging your sore shoulders and neck

all while telling you how hard you worked today and how proud he is of you

and you can feel yourself relax completely from his touch

sleep doesn't come easily to you when you are stressed

since you can't help but overthink about everything going on in your life

so he's ready for you with a warm glass of milk and honey, or tea

he lays your head on his lap while he plays with your hair

telling you again how all of this hard work will be worth it and pay off in the end

sometimes you'd lay on his chest while he hums a lullaby under his breath

sometimes you'd just ask him to tell you a story, because his voice drowns out all the thoughts in your head

but he's always touching you throughout it

grazing your arms, massaging your scalp, playing with your fingers

anything to remind you he's there

once you're asleep he'd get up to make you cookies

so you'd eat them the next day and remember him by when he isn't around

Seungmin : quality time + words of reassurance

he knows not to push your buttons when you are stressed

so he leaves you be but he keeps an eye on you to make sure that you're still okay and not on the verge of breaking down

but once he can sense that you reached your limit

either because you are bouncing your leg up and down

or your head is now between your hands

he comes up from behind, placing a chaste kiss on your temple

if you hug him tighter then that's his cue that you need a break

and he's ready for it

he orders your favorite meal, plays your comfort movie and brings out your softest blankets

anything to make you feel comfortable

your legs are propped up on his lap and he gently skims his hand up and down them

when the movie is done, he turns off the tv and turns to look at you

"what do you need baby?"

if it's venting then he's there to listen and if you need to get back to work then he hugs you tightly to him, before ruffling your hair

and if you say "just you" then he's bringing you to his chest

he won't move an inch until you let go first

Jeongin : quality time + physical touch

jeongin came home late that day

so when he enters your room he finds you typing furiously on your laptop

and he's like hey! but you don't reply

so he leans from the side to look at you and then he notices how you are crying

your tears are wetting your keyboard and yet you are still typing

so he's panicking, grabbing your hands so you'd stop working

that seems to snap you out of your haze and you look at him, eyes full of unshed tears

he's like "are you okay? that's a stupid question you are not okay"

he just hates seeing you cry and he's always flustered at first when you are sad

but then he pulls you up and leads you to bed

he makes you sit on his lap and you are burying your face in the crook of his neck

"tell me what's wrong baby? is it work, hum?"

his tone is so soft and sweet and it makes you want to spill everything to him

so that's exactly what you do

you are rambling and you're talking about the essay and your stupid boss and then about how hungry you are and again about your essay

and he's just humming and listening to you intently and patting your head gently

when you are done he makes you pull away, before kissing your tear stained cheeks softly

and then he brings your hands to his mouth and he brushes his lips against your knuckles

"let's go for a drive hum? get your head off things"

he lets you pick the music and the destination

and he doesn't drive home until you've fully calmed down

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids #stray kids imagine #kpop imagines #skz soft thoughts #skz headcanons #skz hurt/comfort #stray kids imagines #chan fluff #lee know fluff #changbin fluff #hyunjin fluff #han fluff #felix fluff #seungmin fluff #jeongin fluff

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jungkookslipring · 4 months

Text

I Will Never Make You Lonely: Ch 4

Summary: When your life is falling apart, your 8 best friends are there to lift you up

TW: mentions of de&th, su!c!de, su!c!de tendencies, su!c!dal ideologies, depress!on, anxiety, crying. If this is in any way triggering I’d steer towards more of my happier works. If you or someone you love has thought of or acted on suicide, there is help and there is hope

Call or text 988

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, non-idol AU

PSA: this in no way represents the artists. While their birth names are used in this story, this is in no way a reflection of the artist or artists in real life.

AU/Chapter TW: Mentions of su!c!de, su!c!dal thoughts, graphic descriptions of panic/anxiety attacks, and so much crying. If any of this is triggering please refrain from reading this chapter.

CH 4

The car accident wasn’t an accident. There was no animal in the road that caused her to swerve and hit the tree; there was none of that, she planned it. Your brain went numb but your body felt a sharp pain like someone took a dagger and rammed it into your chest. It was getting a little harder to breathe. You got up from your bed and started pacing. You had your hands above your head trying to expand your lungs, but you were already too far into your panic attack to get back down. You let out the first sob since Carter’s death.

Is this what dying feels like?

“Y/n?” Changbin called out.

As soon as you saw two of your best friends at the doorway, your vision got blurry. Chris could see how broken you were and he felt like crying right there. He was almost relieved that you were grieving properly, but this wasn't the way he wanted it to happen.

“Sweetheart…” Chris approached stepped foot into your room and you ran towards the boys, their hearts breaking into pieces as you covered your mouth, muffling another heartwrenching sob.

“Oh baby girl, come here,” he said gently as he pulled you against his chest. You spent a lot of time trying to distract yourself from the truth, doing anything and everything to avoid facing it. But eventually, you can't keep your mind numb forever. You cried and buried your face into Chris's shoulder, and he held you while Changbin rubbed your back for comfort. Your tears soaked into Chris's sweatshirt as he swayed you back and forth.

“We got you, we got you,” Changbin whispered as he threaded his fingers through your hair. You gripped Chris’s sweatshirt until your knuckles turned white. The sadness and anger that you kept under the surface came out without warning, and you completely lost it.

“Please bring her back, please!” You cried at whatever higher power was out there. Chris held you tightly as you cried into his shoulder. Changbin's hands had let go of you, but another set of arms reached out to comfort you. Though you missed Changbin's touch, you were grateful for Chris's warm hands on your shoulders, which helped steady you. Unbeknownst to you, your breathing had become more rapid.

“Hey y/n, hey let's take a deep breath okay? We don’t want you passing out on us, yeah?” Minho said calmly. You don’t know when he got in the room, but you were so out of it you didn’t know everyone was in your room. Before you knew it, you started panicking.

“I c-can’t, I can’t breathe,” you exclaim shakily. You cried harder than you have all month, and maybe even in your entire life. Your body was convulsing with sobs so forcefully and rapidly that you found yourself gasping for air. You knew that you would never see Carter again. No more trips to the lake, no more spontaneous visits to the Space Needle, no more concerts, no more walks to Pike Place. All of it was gone. You held your chest tightly as you struggled to take in air. Your mind was in a fog, you felt nauseous, you weren't getting enough oxygen, and it felt like you were living through a nightmare.

“I *cough cough* I want her *gasp*, back *gasp* *cough cough* please” you pant out. The younger ones were in a state of panic. You were hunched forward with your hands on your knees. Changbin walked to the center of the room and embraced Seungmin, who was frantically reaching out for his hand. Hyunjin was hugging Felix and cradling the younger's head, who was shaking in fear. Han was standing in shock with his arms wrapped around Jeongin, who was hiding his face in his shoulder blade. Minho moved a little closer and spoke as gently as possible.

“Y/n? Honey? Can I touch you?” He asked, waiting patiently until you nodded. Chris slowly let go of your shoulders once Minho had a steady hold of you. He took his time to gently take your hands off your knees, squatting in front of you so he could look you in the eyes. He slowly stood you up and put your hands behind your head so your lungs could expand.

“Breathe with me love. Let's do it nice and slow, alright?” He asked gently. Minho led you through a series of breathing exercises until you were able to control your breathing. Once you were no longer hyperventilating, you collapsed and Minho caught you, slowly lowering you to the ground and into Chris's arms. He embraced you from behind, holding you close to his chest with one hand on your forehead to help calm you down and the other arm wrapped gently around your waist. You covered your eyes, hoping to escape the overwhelming pain.

“Why did she have to go…” you wailed, relieving all the pressure that built up over time. The hurt, the sadness, and the anger were all being let out as Chris and Minho let you crumble because they would be there to pick up the pieces once you were done.

“Y/n…” Jeongin said tearfully. Your heart stopped. Shit. How long were they in your room? You could hear Felix crying into Hyunjin's neck while the taller of the pair gently shushed the sweet boy in his arms, shedding his own silent tears. You kept your hand over your eyes, not wanting to see their reactions, especially the kids.

“Binnie, can you take the kids into the living room please?” Minho asked calmly and kindly. Changbin nodded immediately and guided the Dongsaengs out of your bedroom. Chris held you close and kissed the top of your head. His lips lingered as he rocked you gently back and forth.

“Oh bubs…,” Minho whispered as he watched you break down. After what felt like an eternity, your hysterical crying died down to hiccups. Chris continued rocking you gently and Minho was rubbing your knee with his thumb.

“I’m *hiccup* I’m so sorry,” you said, working yourself up. Chris quickly and quietly shushed you. He couldn’t bear to watch you go into another panic attack.

“Shhh shhh shhh it’s okay, you’re okay, y/n,” he whispered as he petted your hair.

“Why are you apologizing, honey? You did nothing wrong,” Minho asked. You shook your head as more tears streamed down your face.

“D-did I scare the kids?” you ask tearfully. You swore you heard someone else bawling in the hallway; it sounded like Jeongin. Chris shook his head while rubbing your stomach with his thumb.

“They’re just worried about you, we’re all worried about you, angel,” he said calmly.

“What did I do w-wrong? Why couldn’t she come to m-me? D-did she really think I can just live without h-her??” you beg for someone to have the answer, but Minho only looked at you with sadness and confusion.

“What do you mean?” he asks, his eyes flicking back and forth between yours and Chris’s. You grab a hold of your skull, your head pulsating.

“Carter…t-took…she took her own- *hic* oh my god,” you cried as you dug the heels of your hand into your eyes, Chris and Minho exchanging looks of terror. Chris rocked you while kissing your head repeatedly, and Minho took both of your hands into his. Outside of your bedroom, Changbin guided the younger ones down the hall and into the living room. A bunch of them were sniffling, but Jeongin was crying hard. Changbin pulled the youngest into his side, handing Seungmin off to Han.

“Hey, hey we’re here baby, Hyungs have y/n” he reassured the youngest, but the poor thing couldn’t calm down.

“I got the others, Binnie Hyung, we’ll be okay,” Hyunjin said, never letting go of the sweet freckled boy in his arms. Changbin nodded as he led their youngest to the bedroom, the rest of the guys going the opposite direction to sit on the couch. Changbin opened the door with one hand, keeping a secure arm around Jeongin.

“Binnie Hyung?” Jeongin whimpered. Changbin rubbed Jeongin’s shoulder.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Changbin whispered. More droplets fell from Jeongin’s eyes.

“Y/n…” he said brokenly before Changbin pulled him into a hug, running his fingers through his hair.

“Shh shh shh, she’s going to be okay. I promise she’s going to be okay, baby,” he said while trying to keep his voice steady. They were all a little shaken up from what happened, but Jeongin seemed to be taking it the hardest.

“I want to see her, Hyungie, I want to see if she’s okay,” he cried, gripping the back of Changbin’s shirt.

“We’ll get to see her love, but first we need to calm our bodies, okay? Can you do that for me?” He asked kindly as he rubbed his back. Jeongin nodded as he got into bed. Changbin promised to send you over to Jeongin once you were ready. After tucking Jeongin under the covers, he sat beside him, soothing him by wiping away his tears. Later, the three of you settled down in your bedroom, with Chris propped up against a pillow and you cuddled up on his side while Minho lay next to you two. They comforted you with soft touches and even whispered words of encouragement long after your tears had stopped. They waited until your breathing was back to normal before speaking.

“I know you want nothing more than to sleep, but let’s get you cleaned up, y/n, does that sound okay?” Chris asked as he moved a stray hair out of your face. You nodded as you let out a tired sigh. They took you to the bathroom and had you sit on the toilet lid. You looked in the mirror for a brief second before turning away. Your face and eyes were extremely puffy and red. Once he found the makeup wipes, Minho gently held your chin as he oh so carefully used a makeup wipe to remove the mascara that trailed down your face. You thought he’d stop there, but you were wrong.

“Minho it’s okay we don’t have to do all of that,” you say when he starts pulling out all of the products you use for your nighttime skincare routine. He gave you a kind smile.

“What kind of friend would I be if I let you go to bed without your holy grail, huh?” He asked with the sweetest smile, holding up your sleeping mask he gave you as a Christmas gift. You couldn’t help but giggle and you gave him the okay to proceed. Once the makeup was all gone, he took a warm washcloth and dabbed under your eyes and around your cheeks. You let out a sigh and closed your eyes; you were exhausted. Minho applied all the products necessary, because your routine was exactly like his, and hummed a random medley out loud to help with the tension in the bathroom. He wiped off his hands and put his hands on your shoulders.

“You are the strongest person we know, but don’t ever feel like you have to go through this by yourself, yeah?” He pulled you into his arms and rubbed your back as Chris smiled at you two fondly.

“It's just really hard…” your voice breaks as your eyes sting. Minho continued to rub your back.

“I know sweetie, I know, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now…” he whispered.

“I wanted to handle everything on my own, so you wouldn’t have to see me like this *sniff* so we wouldn’t be where we are now,” you admitted as Chris comes up beside Minho and throws his arms around the both of you.

“You’re grieving, y/n, and that’s okay, it’s perfectly okay, happy or sad, stressed or angry, we have your back no matter what. We love you, sweetheart, let us be there for you,” he said gently as he rubbed a hand up and down both yours and Minho’s back. You sniffed looking up at Chris.

“You’re always there for me,” you said with so much gratitude in your voice. You looked back at the clock before looking at the boys.

“Can I go out there and tell them what happened? So they don’t have to worry?” you ask hesitantly. They both nodded, even though they knew you weren’t okay, you were at least okay physically… sort of. The younger ones were going to worry regardless, but maybe they would feel a little better seeing you. The two let them know you don’t have to feel obligated to, and that you could just get under the covers, but you wanted to see the kids. They helped you up and guided you into the living room where four of the guys were. Two were missing.

“Binnie Hyung is with Jeongin right now,” Han whispered. Your heart broke even more if that was even possible. You nodded as you sat down on the couch. After a few seconds of silence, you spoke up.

“Are you guys okay?” you ask, cringing at how much your throat was hurting. You heard sniffling immediately after you started talking. You looked over at the source of the sniffles and then immediately looked down again. Felix’s face was red with dried-up tear tracks that trailed over his freckles.

“Y/n, shouldn’t we be asking you that?” Han asked, voice laced with sadness. He was wondering how even with everything that just happened, you continue to put their well-being over your own. Now you were questioning if you wanted to tell them the news, seeing how they reacted to you having a panic attack. Anxiety filled your chest before Changbin squatted in front of you and pulled you into a hug. When did he come back out?

“Breathe for us y/n, breathe,” he shushed you gently as he rubbed your back. Seungmin came up next to Changbin to hug you as well. You took a deep breath.

“Peyton found a note,” you said as Seungmin’s breath hitched, his arms wrapping tighter around you.

“Oh y/n…” Changbin mumbled as he rested his head against yours. As the tears streamed down Seungmin's face, you started rubbing his back in circular motions hoping to provide some comfort. You tried to compose yourself so that you wouldn't break down again, and everyone could see that. While you were in Seungmin’s embrace, Changbin carefully pulled back and gently took your face into his hands.

“Hey…you know you don’t always have to be so strong,” he said reassuringly. Hyunjin still had Felix in his arms while you looked back at him. He got up from the opposite side of the couch, knelt in front of you and tenderly held your face, wiping away the tears under your eyes with his thumb. Seungmin and Changbin got up so you could wrap your arms around Hyunjin's neck. Hyunjin kissed your cheek, and rocked you in his embrace. Felix got up soon after and came to kneel behind him, grabbing onto the side of your shirt. You reached behind Hyunjin to stroke Felix's hair; he looked just as devastated as everyone else.

“You’re allowed to lean on us y/n, you don’t have to go through this alone,” he whimpered as he wiped away your tears. You loved your boys so much, and they loved you more than anything. You pulled Felix’s head in to kiss him on the forehead. The three of you held onto each other until Changbin spoke up.

“You’ve had a long day, let's call it a night, yeah?” he asked gently as he patted your back. You nodded while still in Hyunjin’s hold, and the two didn’t let go until you did. Changbin wrapped an arm around your waist and walked you to your room. Everyone else scooted impossibly closer together and did a brief wellness check on each other. Back in your room, Changbin grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt that you stole from Han and handed them to you with the kindest smile. You silently thanked him as you went into your bathroom to change. After you came out, Changbin smiled at you.

“How many of our clothing items are in your closet?” he joked. You shrugged with a chuckle, and even if it was small, he would take that over anything.

“Not too many, I’m usually fighting with the kids over Chris and Minho’s clothes,” you giggle. Changbin smiles even bigger and pulls you into a hug. You hold him tight and let out a deep sigh.

“Do you think he’s still awake?” You ask Changbin as you pull away from the hug.

“He might be; he was hoping to see you,” Changbin said. You nodded looking into the hallway. Changbin squeezed your hand one more time before you walked out. Back in the living room, Chris suggested everyone get some sleep. Han roomed with Jeongin but he decided to go bunk with Seungmin. Once all of the younger ones were out of the living room, it was just Chris and Minho. Minho was about to walk out of the room before he felt a hand circle around his wrist. He looked back at Chris questionably.

“Hyung?” He asked. Chris looked at him with sympathetic eyes.

“How are you doing?” He asked gently. Minho shook his head.

“I’m not sure I know what you’re asking, Hyung,” he said quietly, looking down at their hands. He did, but he didn’t want to talk about it.

“I know that was a lot,” he said as Minho looked away, pretending like he didn't feel stinging behind his eyes. He let out a shaky sigh. Chris’s eyes softened even more.

"Min, if you need to cry, it's okay," Chris said, as he rubbed his thumb over Minho's wrist. Minho had always been the strong one for his brothers, but even he had a breaking point. His lip quivered when he made eye contact with Chris. The older of the two gently tugged on Minho's wrist, pulling him into his arms. Minho closed his eyes and let the tears flow. Chris rubbed his back as Minho silently cried.

“You did well Minho, you did so well,” he praised as Minho sniffled. He drew circles on Minho’s back, bringing up his other hand to leave gentle touches on his nape.

“I’ve n-never seen her like t-that,” Minho stuttered thickly.

“Neither have I,” he whispered. “But she’ll be okay,” he said. “She’s going to be okay,”. He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring, but they both needed to hear it. After some time, Minho and Chris parted and wiped their eyes.

“Are you ready for bed?” He asked kindly. Minho nodded.

“Yeah,” he whispered. As Chris was about to head to his room, Minho grabbed his hand. Chris stopped and looked back at Minho. The younger one didn't say anything, but Chris knew what he was going to ask. He gave Minho a warm smile and squeezed his hand, pulling him to their shared bedroom. Once they were under the covers, Chris held Minho in his arms, and the second youngest buried his face into Chris's neck. Chris ran his fingers through Minho's hair and over his neck, while Minho rubbed his hand up and down Chris's arms. They lay in silence for a while until Minho finally spoke up.

“Do you think y/n will want to go back to America?” He asked hesitantly. They knew that your internship was highly competitive and that you wanted to stay in Seoul, regardless of whether you got selected for it or not. However, considering the recent events, Minho had been wondering for a while if you would get homesick and want to go back to stay with Peyton. Chris took a moment to ponder upon it.

“Gosh Minho….I’m not sure. I want her to stay here but if she wants to go back, that’s her decision, you know?” he answered. If he was being selfish, he wanted you to stay, they all did, but they respected your wishes if you chose to go back to Seattle. The idea of not seeing you every other day if not every day made his heart ache. Minho nodded.

"I know... I just... I don't know... I want her to know she's her own person and is allowed to make her own decisions, but... the thought of her not living here anymore..." Minho couldn't finish his sentence. He pushed himself closer into Chris's hold.

"I know, agi, I know," Chris whispered as he pulled Minho even closer and stroked his hair when he felt wetness on his shoulder. The two lay there in each other's embrace, and by the grace of whatever higher power was up there, they fell asleep. As you walked down the hall, you ran into Han who was stepping out of the bathroom. He noticed the sweatshirt you were wearing and smirked.

“I was wondering where that was,” he said cheekily. His eyes were a tiny bit moist. Your heart hurt and he sensed that.

“If you need anything at all, we’re always here for you y/n, I hope you know that,” he said before pulling you into a tight hug. You let out a deep breath and nodded.

“I do, thank you, Hannie. Same goes for you, yeah?” you said. He chuckled. Their health was always your priority, they wished you could take care of yourself the way you took care of them. He squeezed your hand before retreating to Seungmin’s room. You took a deep breath and knocked on Jeongin’s door, waiting patiently for a response.

“Come in,” he quietly called out. You opened the door slowly. Jeongin gave you a sad smile.

“Hi,” he said quietly. He was wrapped up snuggly in a bunch of blankets; you remembered Changbin tucked him in.

“Hi,” you whispered. Jeongin sat up in bed once you closed the door.

“Are you okay?…” you asked. You knew it was a ridiculous question given you could see he clearly wasn’t okay but you still wanted to ask. Jeongin nodded slowly as you saw tears fill his eyes.

“Please don’t cry, sweet boy,” you whispered. Jeongin’s lip wobbled. Turned out he heard your conversation with Chris and Minho before everyone went into the living room.

“I just don’t- I…I can’t,” he whimpered. You quickly sit down and pull him into your arms, and even though he is taller than you, he feels so small in your hold.

“I’m here, I’m right here, I promise,” you said. He wrapped his arms around one of yours so you could cage him with the other. His tears were immediately soaking into your shirt.

“I can’t lose you, I-I can’t lose any of you” he cried out, fear evident in his voice. You cradled his head as he let out one of his worst fears.

“Shhh shhh shhh shhh…you boys mean so much to me, more than you will ever know,” you said, kissing his head and rocking him gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out, I am so sorry.” He shook his head.

“I’m not m-mad I n-never could be. I-I understand. Just- you can always talk to us y-you know?” he said whimpering.

“I do know that bug and I love you all so much,” you said sincerely as you pet his hair.

“We love you too,” he whispered, hugging you impossibly tighter. You both stayed cuddled in each other's embrace, trying to provide comfort to each other. Eventually, you got under the covers and held each other tightly. Jeongin rested his head on your shoulder, and you were soothed by the sound of his even breaths. Finally, you both drifted off to sleep.

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