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kneelingshadowsalome · 11 months

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Just Friends (König x F!Reader)

How to Make Friends 1/4 (Word count 5.4 k)

Summary: König is a horny, creepy killing machine obsessed with a shy, kind reader who has a raging knife kink.

Tags/warnings: 🔞 Eventual smut, eventual violence, angst, dark romance, canon divergence. Crack treated seriously. Yandere undertones, implied stalking, panty stealing, major character death, size kink, voyeurism, possessive sex, twisted, fluffy feelings. Loner boy/gentle girl dynamic. Protective!Obsessive!Top!König. Reader works as a cleaner at the base. She is described to have hair and prefers to wear dresses off work. Not safe or sane but mostly consensual.

A/N: AU where König (sadly) isn't a colonel and doesn't have a t-shirt as a hood but an... actual hood. Please heed the tags lovelies 🩷

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

No one sees a cleaning lady.

Cleaners are invisible. People remember them only when their desks start to gather dust, when their floors are full of mud. No one sees her except the tallest guy in the building: the guy who everybody seems to ignore, just like they ignore her.

It doesn't take long to see why. He's different, and not just because of the mask he's wearing.

She sees him playing with knives. He throws them in the air leisurely, catches them by the handle, and never misses the catch. He flicks them from side to side, spins and whirls the blades in motions she can't even see because they're so swift.

It's pure magic. And they're not dull training knives; they're sharp as a razor, vicious, tactical – but that doesn't make them ugly. They're quite stunning, and she's caught staring more than once.

His movements are not what she'd exactly call precise and fluid. They're urgent, antsy, made to relieve stress of some sort. He's stimming with the knives. Alleviating pain or frustration. The rest of his body is still; only the ice-blue eyes flicker on the blade as he focuses all his attention on the dance. Sometimes he just stares at them, turns them around as if checking the edge, as if it wasn't evident that they're deadly and sharp. That's how she knows he takes good care of the things he loves.

He's fascinated by them, just like she is. And it's not just the knives; she's fascinated by him.

Others cast side eyes, nervous looks at him. Even some of his fellow operators look at the man like he's a lunatic. And perhaps he is, but she can't help it.

She's mesmerized.

It all changes when she accidentally walks into a meeting room while there is a briefing going on. Apparently, no one considers her a threat or a potential spy because she is summoned in before she rushes to close the door, and so she goes on about her day while the soldiers are already wrapping things up.

The hooded giant is there too, leaning back in a chair too small for him, this time playing with a butterfly knife. It's the smallest, daintiest thing she has yet seen in those hands. He always has gloves on, but that doesn't make the flashy flipping look any less dangerous.

She starts by dusting the side tables so she is not in the way. This time, she vehemently does not want to be seen. Save perhaps by the knife maniac.

The man even helps her with cleaning: he picks up some of the objects he can reach so she can wipe the surface more easily. It makes her cheeks grow hot, but she cannot bring herself to thank him. She doesn't dare to make a single sound while there is a meeting going on and their captain is still speaking, but she gives her thanks through her eyes and her smile, and the man looks at her like she's some kind of saintly sight.

The look in those blue eyes is starstruck. Almost… obsessive.

It should send ice to her stomach. But it doesn't.

He continues showing off with the knife as she moves to the other side of the room. He does it to mess with her head or entertain her, delight her, perhaps - the man already knows she’s intrigued by his vast collection of blades.

It's a bit creepy. The man as a whole is a bit creepy, but she only feels a rush, a high that turns her monotonous work day into a thrill.

"König. Would you mind?"

The sound of the flicking blade stops, and she is possibly the only one in this room who misses the noise.

"Entschuldigung."

He speaks, and the voice sends ripples across her scalp. It's twisted and amused, as if the man gets off on annoying the shit out of his workmates.

"English, please..."

"My apologies."

The blade is tucked somewhere in his pocket and the man named König leans forward on the table. Slightly hunched over like that, he looks even more intimidating than before. The playfulness is gone, and he looks fiercely professional. More shivers are sent down her spine.

König…

König is the reason she still keeps working in this odd little compound, the base of some special operations unit that requires an insane amount of security checks and secret contracts and confidentiality agreements just so she can clean the floors from their soddy footprints.

König is the reason she starts to put on some mascara in the morning, tie her hair in a high ponytail, or braid it in two little braids so she would appear cuter if she happens to pass him by in the hallway. He's the reason she opens not one but two buttons of her blouse before she starts the day. He's also the reason her underwear is soaked in the middle of a boring shift.

He appears in her break room to borrow coffee. And not once, but twice during the same week.

"You're running low again?"

"Eh… Ja."

He's shit at lying, though. She is relatively sure by now that he's here only because he wants to see her.

"I'll bring it back. I mean–I'll buy you some."

He seems a bit shy, like her, and combined with the fact that he still chooses to seek her out already gives her sleepless nights. It makes her far more confident than she has ever been with people.

His accent, his voice, are pure fire. She feels sinful for thinking about how he would behave in the bedroom, how he would talk – after all, it already sounds like he's breathless and strained, already sounds like he's working her open with whatever monster is hidden in those pants a bit too small for him. He walks with a wide lounge, and she just knows it's because he is so big down there.

"You do that," she gives him a particularly flirty smile and revels in how it makes him even more distraught. It's quite fascinating how the same man can exude barely repressed bloodlust one moment and stupefied silence the next.

He returns the very next day to bring her a package of coffee. The same brand he borrowed twice already is set on the table in front of her with tense shoulders. She has seen the man relaxed only when he’s achieved that alluring flow state with his knives.

"Hier."

"Why thank you."

He simply stands there, switches weight from one foot to the other, and shrugs.

"I'll be going then."

But he doesn’t leave. Not right away. He watches her with that icy, burning stare, and she cocks her head.

“Bye,” she chimes with a soft smile – the guy is simply too cute. His restless twitching stops; he freezes where he stands, blinks – and then turns and walks out the door like a robot.

. . . . .

She's not supposed to be here. Or, she is, but he's not.

No one’s supposed to be here when there's the sign on the door. The men's showers are supposed to be cleared once a week for good scrubbing, and she only has 30 minutes to do that. It's once a week, less than an hour, there's a sign, and still, some jerk has to walk right through it.

No one sees a cleaning lady.

No one appears to even care about the fucking sign.

But then she sees who exactly has disrespected her humble position. It's a shock to see that familiar black hood with two eye holes on it thrown on the bench. Next to that, the khaki-colored cargo pants, a black shirt, and those gloves, all in a heap – this guy is not the most orderly, perhaps.

And she takes a fucking peek inside the showers because the door is, for some unfathomable reason, transparent, see-through glass.

The first thing she sees is muscle. Just wet, powerful cords of muscle slapped on the tallest man she has ever seen or would probably ever see.

He's a vision: godly, almost. Then she notices what he's doing.

Of course he has to be fucking fapping on top of everything.

Her throat is dry and her hands are numb as she watches how he leans on the tiles with one hand and works himself with the other. The body hair on the guy is so pale that he basically looks neatly shaved, save for the short hair on the top of his head – the man's nothing but sleek, dripping muscle through and through.

He sounds weak when he's masturbating; the noise that echoes in the showers consists mainly of frail, high-pitched grunts.

She's wet in no time, and it doesn't help that he looks frantic, almost violent, while jerking off. It's a sloppy frenzy, and the sounds of wet, angry slapping make her heart beat so fast that the rush of blood in her ears nearly drowns the noise.

The man has big hands, but his cock still looks massive inside one. She knows she will copy-paste the image of that long cock, slick with water and soap, in her mind over and over again while releasing some tension herself. Of course it's big because he's big, but the length of it is simply outrageous – she cannot comprehend how he can fit himself in his pants, even when soft.

His whole upper body tenses abruptly, like a huge cord of cable; he throws his head back, his hips jerk forward and he goes catatonic – the cum shot that follows would shoot a meter away if it wasn't stopped by the wall. The spurts of his load are equally as fierce as the fap, and she feels faint.

And why the fuck is she even standing here in the first place?

And then he…

He drops his head, turns a little to the side, like he’s known she has been here the whole time.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck-

She can only see his eyes from behind the arm still leaning on the wall. That heated glare is not furious, but nor is it benevolent: it's simply pure, manic lust.

She turns and rushes from the locker room like she has just seen a monster.

. . . . .

"Hey."

If he's here for coffee or for her, she doesn't know. Or, perhaps she does, but she's also so unbelievably ashamed and embarrassed that perhaps it's no surprise that he seeks her out in the break room since she has avoided him everywhere else for two days.

"Hi."

Her weak voice is followed by silence, and she doesn't turn, even when she knows he's still behind her. Something in the air, some part of atavistic instinct tells her he's standing right behind her.

"You here for more coffee?"

He still doesn't say anything, and she begins to freak out.

"König… I'm–God, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have–"

"Did you like what you saw?"

Her heart shoots up her throat, and her stomach churns, almost starts to eat itself from the pure terror. But it's nothing compared to what he says next.

"I was thinking of you," the calm voice reaches her ears like a tall wave, making her even more woozy than she was in the men's showers.

"I'm– sorry, what?"

"Your mouth… Breasts. If you're tight."

She finally turns, doesn't even try to conceal her horror tinged with incomprehensible, strange lust.

"Jesus…"

The ice between them is broken, but at what cost – and the anxiety she had mistaken for cuteness reveals something psychotic underneath. He still looks at her with the same stare, even when she tries to make it clear that this approach makes her want to vomit. He doesn't move, only towers over her like a hulking shade, and she darts from the break room, completely soaked and on the verge of tears.

. . . . .

There's a knock on her door the next morning, so early that she wonders who the hell could be up at this hour other than staff. It's like… five-thirty. She's so sleepy that she doesn't quite think it through as she throws only a t-shirt on before strolling to the door.

What the f-

König shoves the flowers almost in her face as she opens the door, and she has to yank her head back. All the sleep is gone in an instant, and she curses in her mind that she's standing here in only a tight t-shirt and a black pair of panties.

"I'm sorry. Please, accept my apology," he says like a poorly rehearsed actor while watching her thighs and what's between them. Her nipples shoot up, and not from cold.

"Uh… sure," she tries to sound neutral while accepting the flowers, if not his apology. He takes a step back after making sure she has truly taken the gift, and she instinctively lowers the bouquet down to shield herself from his searing gaze. She knows she's a hypocrite, having masturbated at the memory of him last night. Twice.

He has his hood on, and wears the eternal black shirt, padded gloves and some cargo pants, but there’s also an overload of gear on him. Pouches and pads and wires and ammo - she even catches a grenade or two. There’s a gun strapped to his thigh, and the shoulder pads make his already broad shoulders look even more wide. He looks so… tactical, so in his element that her instincts tell her it wouldn’t do shit to slam the door in his face and retreat back to the safety of her room. This soldier would just barge through the plywood.

And where did this guy get flowers at this hour of the day? No florist can possibly be open. Then she notices they're not exactly the kind of flowers she has seen at a shop.

Has he picked them from outside…?

"I thought you liked me."

His explanation makes her heart melt a little. He's so straightforward, so utterly without any charades or roles, that it makes her feel like she's the one who has disrespected him with her games. After all, she has done nothing but flirted 24/7 with the poor man for the last week. Of course he only thought she was interested.

"I do. I do like you."

His eyes light up with uncontained hunger. "Can I come in?"

Nope. Big mistake.

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Ok. I'll be going then."

He turns on his heels and is ready to go like nothing ever happened.

“Wha-… König, please, wait.”

He halts on command, turns back, looks at her solemnly. The only thing that gives his confusion away are his eyes, which flicker from her puzzled stare to her mouth, occasionally to the bouquet covering her nether areas.

"Could we just be friends?" She offers him rather desperately.

He merely shrugs.

"Never had any friends."

For some reason, this guy has already started to live rent-free inside her head. She simply can't get him out. And she's intrigued, even when the sanest option would be to stay away from a creepy lunatic like him.

"I can be your friend."

Fuck, what did I just say, what the fuck did I just–

"Sure. Why not," he says immediately. "You just want to be friends?"

She resists the urge to facepalm right then and there in front of him. The guy is not only socially awkward: he's in a state of denial.

Some of his friends – or at least, teammates – pass them by. Kyle, if she remembers correctly, and a Scottish man they call Soap. They both smile at her kindly. It's the first time these men have ever paid her any attention; actually, this is probably the only occasion anyone pays attention to König either. They are both suddenly visible.

"Hey König, don't go harassing our cleaning lady. We got a plane to catch."

König stares somewhere behind her as Soap speaks. His eyes are covered with glass, and she knows that look all too well. The tallest man in the building is dissociating while the two soldiers march by behind him with raised eyebrows and pursed lips: a mocking gesture only she can see.

She watches the scene with an odd pity. It appears they step into existence only when they're together – an unfamiliar setting and an odd couple, the object of ridicule for people who probably claim themselves to be normal.

"I think it would be best, yes," she whispers when the hall is quiet again. She has to start her day soon, and he has a plane to catch - no one else is awake except one hard-working woman and a few operators about to leave on an early mission. She feels the strangest sorrow as she realizes that he wanted to drop by with some flowers and his apology before leaving some place he might never return.

The man gives her a last once-over before taking his leave. He nods slowly, never breaking their gaze: an odd, gentlemanly move.

"Just friends, then."

. . . . .

It is the hottest day yet, and the guy walks around with his black hood even then.

Her new friend.

She's outside, trying to catch some fresh air and sunlight after spending another 8 hours inside a buzzing facility, and somehow, some way, the tall enigma of a man always finds her.

He angles his walk towards her as if he only happened to pass by at the same time she was lounging against the wall and looking at clouds drifting in the sky. In truth, she has an odd, yawning suspicion that she is being stalked nowadays. One of her underwear has gone missing, and she's wretched because her first thought upon finding it gone was the solid assumption that he had stolen them. Which further meant that the man had broken into her room.

But there's also flowers. Every morning when she opens her door, there's a single flower awaiting her. Sometimes, two or three, and not from a store, but from outside, from nature.

He's courting her, and she feels stupidly like a little princess because of those homely yet thoughtful gifts. She doesn't throw them away: they gather on her table, on her window sill, in a little water glass on her bedside table.

She's far too kind, that's what people always say, but she's also neck-deep into this goddamn creep at this point to do anything about it. The building is full of muscled men, men who are decent, and she chooses this… gift-bearing perv to crush on. In her judgment system, she's basically asking for it at this point.

"How are you?"

His accent lingers in the air between them, and she can't help it: it always brings a rush of heat on her cheeks and a rush of wetness down below when she hears him speak.

"I'm good. Just… good. How about you?"

"Sehr gut."

Perhaps the underwear has simply gone missing while washing laundry: it's not unusual when at least 20 people share one washing machine.

And they're only friends. Friends don't steal each other's underwear. Friends ask how they have been, how their day's gone.

"You look nice."

But the summer sun pales in comparison with the heat of that stare. Friends might compliment each other, but they don't look at each other like that.

She feels grungy enough while cleaning, not to mention in the bland, saggy clothes she has to wear every morning, so it can't be a surprise that she likes to put on an effort after the day is done. The citrus-yellow dress she has this afternoon catches his attention like she's a whole circus in town.

"You always look like an angel," he elaborates further, and she has to prevent herself from taking support from the wall upon hearing his compliment.

"Oh.. Thanks," she smiles, and he answers it: the faint creases around narrowing eyes are enough proof of that. "It's so hot… Do you ever take the hood off?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you take it off before bed?"

Oh god.

That sounded weird. She meant to ask if he took it off before sleeping.

Well, 'before bed', 'before sleeping'… What's the difference, really?

Still, he reads into it like a hawk for a seemingly socially graceless case.

"Depends if I'm alone or not," he says. Definitely thinks she's flirting with him again. Talk about sending mixed messages…

Friends, friends. We're just friends.

"Where are you from, by the way? Are you German?"

"No. Austrian."

"Oh. It must be beautiful there at this time of year."

"It is. I would still trade all of Austria for you," he says without any clumsiness, even though the pickup line is awful, one of the worst she has heard – and god, still, those big hands, that fire and ice stare makes her feel high as a kite. The image of him plowing her with the same pace he fucked his hand won't leave her alone.

"König… Just friends," she warns while feeling how another pair of panties is already ruined. She's so wet it's not even funny anymore; it makes her annoyed.

"Ok."

He says ok, but she knows he won't yield. She’s been far too kind for far too long and won't be losing this guy's interest anytime soon.

"How's work?" She tries to patiently show him how to be fricking friends, even if one party is constantly undressing the other with their eyes. As if she's not doing the same…

"You really want to know?"

"Sure."

"Had to scrub intestines from my shoes all night," he says casually. She can only blink and watch how completely distanced and indifferent he seems about something so sick.

"Everything's a mess when you use a knife," he explains further.

"Uh... I'm sure it is."

"Do you regret that you asked?"

"No. Well, perhaps a little."

He crosses his arms over his chest and looks proud; only seems pleased with himself for succeeding in scaring her even more.

"That's why I scrub guts and you scrub floors."

"I guess so," she agrees to his ever-authentic way of saying things how they are. He's a soldier: she can’t change that fact no matter how he or she puts it. Decent guys did the exact same things he did; they just didn't go around telling shy girls about the gory details of their work.

"Do you like knives?"

Nor did they ask things like this. They would ask if she wanted to go see a movie or have a lovely dinner that would end in a kiss and an exchange of phone numbers.

"Um. Yes, I think they're beautiful."

Her response causes a short, deafening silence, a few blinks. The wind catches his mask, but it never rises: she notices he's not only undressing her body, but also her soul with those eyes. Patient, like he knows all her secrets and loves them already.

"What would it take to be more than friends?"

His sudden change of subject is almost as shocking as the devil-may-care account of his work. She is feeling unusually wild; the warm weather and the yellow hues covering the distant horizons make her want to lie down on the grass and pull him on top of her. She thinks of him sliding up the fabric of her cutesy dress, thinks of him opening his pants to get that huge cock out and force it inside.

"Well… You could… Ask me out, for starters?"

"What if you come to my room and I'll show you something," he offers instantly.

As nice and naive as she may be, she's sure the only thing he wants to show her is his cock. Which she has already seen, technically speaking. Which she would like to see again, heaven forbid.

She is slightly breathless and wonders if the heat on her cheeks is visible, if her lips are a bit fuller than usual from her thoughts. Perhaps that's why she resorts to a counteroffer as if she's bargaining here. As if she can't say no.

"Uh.. How about you come and pick me up for dinner this eve–"

"Ok."

He nods with full-blown promise in his eyes and leaves right away, a little too content, and she realizes she has made the worst mistake of her entire life. She will never get a man of his size out of her room if she lets him in and things go awry.

In a hurried decision, she decides she will simply leave him blue-balled at the door. She simply won't go to dinner; she certainly won't let him in. She doesn't have to, even if and when she has to watch him mope for the rest of the year.

She will tell him they're not friends, they're nothing anymore, and that's just it.

She goes, determined and her mind set, to shower, only to notice that she's more soaked than the pool of soap water gathering at her feet. Her body simply betrays her at every turn. Perhaps she should masturbate, just in case, so she won't be weak-willed when he arrives at her door this evening. Yes, that's a brilliant idea, one of the rare good ones she’s had these past few days.

“Jesus–"

By the time she enters her room, wet and throbbing, he's already there.

"How did you get in?"

He shrugs his shoulders like he always does.

"You asked me to visit you."

He doesn't even answer her question about him breaking into her fucking room. He's standing right next to her dresser and a bra she had thrown on one of the open drawers, and she knows right then and there that he's the panty thief.

"Yeah, but… I thought you'd knock or something."

"Sorry."

If you shrug I swear I’m going to…

"Where do you wish to go?"

He's standing there like a contrapposto statue, narrow hips deliciously tilted and with an obvious erection in his pants. He doesn't seem to feel ashamed about it, and it makes her even more wet.

She has a murderous giant in her room, a killer who's visibly turned on by the sight of her underwear, perhaps the lingering scent of her perfume, too… and he's asking where she wishes to go eat tonight so he might have a chance to bang her afterward.

"Do you like Chinese?"

He shrugs as an answer, and she sighs.

"I need to change. Could you turn around?"

The eyes behind the hood regard her with curiosity, but the man does as he is bid. She takes out a floral dress and a more comfortable bra and walks further away to the bed to change. König faces the wall while she gets undressed with trembling hands. She’s sure the man will turn around, march to her, and simply have his way with her before she gets the dress on. Some sick part of her even yearns for it.

But he doesn't. Instead, his head tilts a little to the side, and his hand rises to gently brush the lace of her bra while she's in the most vulnerable position she's ever been with this man. It's an almost equal violation of her privacy as it would've been to turn, but her tongue is tied. And she only now notices he's not wearing gloves.

König is caressing her underwear with no fabric whatsoever between his skin and her chastity, and it makes her breath grow heavy like they're living in the 18th century.

"All set," she says, voice tight, and he lowers his hand and turns as if he has done nothing wrong.

The evening, however, goes far better than she had hoped. Or feared.

He buys them dinner, drinks one beer. They even have a perfectly healthy, civil conversation. She helps herself to a bit of wine to calm her nerves, and they discuss what their dreams used to be before they landed the jobs they currently have.

He reveals he wanted to be a sniper and that he prefers to work alone, but to her question on what went wrong with all that, he merely answers he was 'too clumsy.'

What the man is really trying to say is that he's simply too big. Detectable, loud, and tall.

He hints at being bullied at school and in the army, and she feels even more sorry for him, curses in her mind – if the guy's tactic is to get a girl by being a hot loner with a tragic tale of woe, it sure is working for him.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asks when there's still tension between them, tension that should have melted by now.

"A bit, yeah."

"Is it because of the hood?"

His voice is softer, and she realizes that he's really trying: trying to tone down whatever beast rages inside him, trying his all to be normal instead of some tormented madman.

"No, not exactly," she confesses and feels a sting in her heart when he looks defeated. She almost feels like a bully, too. She wants to take the guy in her arms and shush him to sleep so he would wake up less haunted. But that's not how this goes: she cannot fix him, and even if she could, she has no right to.

He takes her back to the base and stands at her door again. The halls have fallen silent, everyone's asleep at this hour, and her heart is still hammering in her chest.

"Are we still just friends?" He stares at her from the darkness of the hood, shoulders slightly hunched, trying to make himself appear smaller. Less intimidating.

"I…I guess so."

"You think I'm weird, don't you."

His next question is more of a statement. And all she wants to say is no, even if it's a lie. The guy is… not evil; it's just that he certainly isn't sane and sound, either.

"Um… I… Uh-"

"You're the one who watched me in the showers," he points out as if they're keeping score on who's more of a perv.

"Yeah. I guess I'm the weirdo here," she laughs nervously, then almost bites her tongue. He only cocks his head a little to the side and repeats his earlier question.

"Did you like what you saw?"

"Well… yes, ok? I did. Why else would I–"

"It's ok. I understand. I don't mind."

"Well, it was still rude of me to do that." She guides her gaze to the floor, then up at his polar stare that makes her want to swoon in the hopes that he will catch her. "Didn't you notice the sign on the door?"

"I did," he said, and the corners of his eyes slowly gather a few wrinkles. Smiling again.

She shakes her head slowly, scoldingly, and notices how that smile only deepens under the hood. Then his face – or what little can be seen of it – straightens.

"Am I harassing you?"

Wow. Well, at least the poor guy is trying to self-reflect. But something tells her there's more than some new-found awareness of his late behavior at work here.

There's bitterness... Exclusion.

Loneliness.

"No," she tries to comfort him. Another facepalm moment: she is basically telling a stalker she likes being stalked. That this sort of wacko shit was approved of. So this is what it has come to… Years of being invisible apparently did things like this to people.

"Or maybe a bit," she says as a spineless afterthought.

"Do you want me to stop?"

In all honesty, she is drunk on his attention. The obsessive behavior, the relentless wooing, romantic gestures accompanied by a stare that says he wants to plow her until she is a limp heap on a bed stained with tears and cum.

"König… Are you lonely?"

He shrugs, and she wants to grab him. Shake him.

"Are you?" He says with an unusually deep voice.

"...Yes."

Her voice is as fragile as can be, but the hall echoes her confession like it's a loud song. The eyes under the hood look at her softly, longingly: she hasn't even noticed how soft they can sometimes be.

"You don't have to be."

There's simply no use in denying it: she wants this guy to fuck her, no matter how creepy or weird he is.

She grabs a fistful of his shirt and pulls him inside.

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howtofightwrite · 6 months

Note

Was reading through your torture tag and noticed a lot of stuff that was being said seemed to contradict things that were said on the scripttorture blog... do you have any suggestions on how to clear things up? Im not sure which things to trust

And you're asking us, because they've posted once in the last two years?

I'll admit, I have a fairly low opinion of them, and that's not directly their fault. For years, one of their fans, would regularly send some pretty incendiary asks our way. In fact, some of the less hostile ones were answered, and may be the posts you were looking at. Understandably, the ones simply accusing us of being torture apologists, demanding we redirect all our asks to their blog, or insisted that we should sit down and shut up, did not make the cut. With that in mind, please understand, I'm not going to go digging through their blog to refresh my memory, so some of this might be slightly skewed by the aforementioned deranged fan.

Look for the blog that does not constantly contradict or misrepresent their authoritative sources. Which is to say, if you actually pay attention to Shane O'Mara's work, it's basically what we've been saying all along.

If you're unfamiliar, O'Mara is a Neurologist who was (last I time I checked) working at Trinity College Dublin. He published a, frankly fascinating piece, called, Why Torture Doesn't Work, in which, he set about trying to answer why torture is an ineffective tool for intelligence gathering. O'Mara also had the misfortune of being the only expert who said anything close to the perspective Scripttorture wanted on torture.

An open secret about torture is that it is completely worthless for getting accurate information. This has been widely understood for centuries, if not millennia. O'Mara's question was, “why?”

It turns out, that the neurochemical trauma associated with torture, seriously interferes with your ability to accurately access information. For example: If you're being tortured, you can't tell your torturer where you planted the ticking bomb, because your brain literally can't access those memories.

Torture is evil. Yeah. No shit.

And, this is where ScriptTorture stops. “Torture is bad,” and Jack Bauer is an incredibly unrealistic fantasy, end of story.

Except, this is not the end of this.

Now, generally speaking, I don't blame anyone who wants to get off the ride here. Torture is an unpleasant subject, and wanting to stop at, “oh, it's evil,” is entirely reasonable... unless you want to write on the subject, or if you do political analysis and need to understand why people break out the torture implements.

More than that, this is where my academic background in political science actually comes into play. I'm not saying this as an Eagle Scout who had a couple overly enthusiastic hand to hand instructors when I was a kid. This is (part of) what I studied in college, and I have kept an eye on it since then.

If torture didn't work, you wouldn't see state-sponsored torture pop up repeatedly throughout history. It would not be one of the favorite tools of dictators and despots. However, because it does, and it is, simply saying, “it doesn't work,” isn't instructive or meaningful because it's clearly untrue. Someone is finding value in this, so it becomes important to understand what they are doing, and why they are doing it.

When you torture someone, the information they provide is basically madlibs of whatever leaked through their brain. They want the pain and stress to stop, and they'll say anything they can to make that happen. That often takes the form of what they think their torturer wants to hear. O'Mara's research does explain why they don't simply cough up the truth.

So, why do it?

Torture is a very labor intensive process. You (as an individual) can't, realistically, torture multiple victims at a time, and it is a very drawn out process. Some elements can be automated, your torturer doesn't need to be present at every moment, but they're going to spend hours, if not days, working on one victim. Worse, this is actually a technical profession. It's not like you can just pull in anyone off the street and get the results you want. (Though, technically, this doesn't seem to be as true, however, amateurs do have a shocking capacity to screw up torture. So, the point remains valid.)

The value of torture has almost nothing to do with the victim. It's about the message it sends to everyone else.

Torture is about mass coercion of the population. When you are the state (meaning, the government), and you torture someone, you are telling your citizens that you are willing to do the same to them, if they oppose you.

State-sponsored torture is specifically a tool to suppress political engagement. It is, quite literally, state-sponsored, domestic terrorism.

This even holds true in cases where the state employs torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. The message sent into the general population is that dissent of any kind will not be tolerated, and that the state has the willingness and power to turn these tools on you if you draw their ire.

I get that this is outside of ScriptTorture's area of expertise, and in fairness, I probably would not have studied this with any intensity, if I hadn't taken multiple classes on revolutionary theory.

Torture from private organizations (which is to say, organized crime, and religious institutions, though cults and some other groups might fit this description as well), follows roughly similar patterns. These tend to do the same things, discouraging dissent, and establishing the organization as having power over the population (or community.) (The technical term would be to “establish capacity.” Which is to say, the organization's capacity to enforce its will. The same term applies to states, though in those cases, the state's capacity is often overestimated by its population. It's only when it starts to falter, for example through military defeats or serious civil unrest, that they really need the capacity boosting part of this equation.)

Zealotry or stupidity can create situations where you have a torturer (or, more likely, someone in a position of power ordering the torture) who believes that it is effectively compelling the truth from the victim. This (or amateurs) can easily lead into a distinct problem, which is that all of this has diminishing returns. Torture one person, and you send a loud, clear message. Torture ten, and all you've added to it is that you're willing to keep going. However, as you start stacking up the victims, you do start sending a new message to your enemies, that being, you're going to get to them sooner or later so it's in their best interest to respond now, mobilize and retaliate proactively, before you get to them. This means that a state which leans heavily on torture can easily instigate the civil unrest that exposes their limited capacity leading to a political death spiral. Alternately, if the state does have the capacity to put down the resulting unrest, it further reinforces their position (which does happen with depressing frequency in the real world.)

You're also going to create new enemies in the friends, family, and loved ones, of the people you tortured. This means that any organization that relies on extensive use of torture will, eventually, start tying a noose around its own neck. (Granted, there are a lot of social dynamics that I'm skimming over here, so it's not exactly as simple as “if the state tortures lots of people, it will result in increasing unrest.”)

If you want a partial citation for the above, you can (ironically) find it in a podcast interview with Shane O'Mara, when he explained why torture has been employed repeatedly through history. (Specifically I think it was episode 15 of Your Welcome, by Michael Malice. Though, I'm not 100% sure off hand.) Though that doesn't cover some of the more in depth elements I just discussed. Some of this is coming from a textbook on revolutionary theory I can't locate (it disappeared in a move a few years back.) Though that was more interested in the general structure of a state destabilizing into internecine conflict. Ironically, my preferred citation on torture, Fear up Harsh by Tony Lagouranis is mostly uninformative in this case, because his experiences were on the ground, rather than from a structural understanding of what his job was really doing. However, he does illustrate my comment about amateurs making even more of a mess, both through personal experiences with a few, and also through the eventual trajectory of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

But of course, torture is evil... again, no shit. Was that really a question? And, I'm apparently a torture apologist for having a structural understanding of why evil people do evil things. Cool. Evil people don't do evil things because they're evil, they do them because they gain some tangible benefit from those acts, and they do not care about the consequences to anyone else. If you ask someone, “why do people do this?” and their answer is, “it's simple; they're evil,” that person is lying. They may be lying to themselves, but they are lying to you.

Why do people use torture? It's a lot more complicated, and unpleasant, than you'd expect at a simple overview.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #starke answers #torture

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shootingstarpilot · 6 months

Text

A scene that will only be referenced in the next chapter, but I was overcome with the urge to write it out anyway:

Boil catches Stitch's entry onto the bridge out of the corner of his eye.

He elbows Waxer, grinning. The kid's got a pair of crutches under one arm, and they'd both noticed the way the Commander had been leaning on the holotable, stubbornly ignoring the General's not-so-subtle disapproving look and the chair Waxer had fruitlessly nudged into place behind him.

This is going to be a show.

Stitch scans the bridge, eyes narrowed, until he catches sight of the Commander. He walks forward, stopping a few respectful feet behind him, and--

waits.

Thirty seconds pass.

Then a minute.

More and more eyes are landing on him. Poorly-muffled giggling blooms across the bridge.

"Hi, Stitch," Waxer says cheerfully.

"Hi, sir," Stitch says politely, his gaze flickering sideways in acknowledgement before returning to Cody's back.

Cody's shoulders slump.

Eventually, the holocall ends. General Kenobi is the first to turn around.

"Hello, Stitch," he says, smiling faintly. "Can I help you?"

"No thank you, sir. I'm waiting for the Commander, sir."

There's only so long Cody can avoid turning around, and he knows it. With a long, deep sigh, he turns.

"Hi, sir," Stitch says brightly, and thrusts the crutches forward. "You forgot these."

"Those aren't mine," Cody says immediately. "I left mine in my office. I'll grab them after."

"These are yours," Stitch says patiently. "I put a sticker on them when Helix first gave them to you. See?"

He points. Cody leans forward, searching despite himself--

His expression flattens out.

"It's a lightsaber," Stitch says helpfully. "Needle made it. He said you'd forgotten your crutches before, and I thought a sticker would be helpful for you to remember which are yours. Helix says taking initiative is a good thing."

"I... see."

He still doesn't take them.

Stitch sighs. "Is this because Helix yelled at you for kicking droids again, and you don't want to prove him right?"

"No," Cody grinds out, and Waxer muffles a wheezing laugh in Boil's shoulder. General Kenobi's expression is carefully blank.

"Is it because--"

"They're uncomfortable," Cody sighs. He lowers his voice, conscious of their delighted audience, and there's a ripple of coughing and clearing of throats as people turn back to their assigned tasks. "They-- my shoulders keep cramping. I need to be able to fire a blaster, Stitch. I'm minimizing my movement as much as possible, I promise."

"Uncomfortable," Stitch echos, looking baffled. "Why didn't you say so, sir? Give me-- ten minutes, please. I can fix that. I'll be back soon. Can you sit down in the meantime, please?"

"I'll make sure he does, Stitch," the General interjects, and Stitch nods seriously.

"Thank you, sir," he says, and nods at them both before vanishing out the door.

"You're enjoying this far too much, sir," Cody hisses, as Kenobi carefully helps him settle into the long-ignored chair.

"My dear Commander," Kenobi says, laughing, "I'm simply glad it's not me this time."

Cody's glare could incinerate a Hutt. The General remains cheerfully unaffected.

When Stitch returns, he brings with him a painstakingly adjusted pair of crutches. Layers of cotton batting is tied carefully to the pads, and the grips have been adjusted a few levels upwards.

"Try these, please," he says, handing them over.

Cody reluctantly accepts them. "All right. Later, when I--"

Stitch is looking at him very expectantly.

He sighs. "Yes, Stitch."

He levers himself to his feet and takes a few halting steps. Boil watches, fascinated, as astonishment flickers across his expression before it settles into a quiet resignation.

"This-- is better," he mutters. "Very much so."

Stitch beams. "Thank you, sir! And you'll make sure to use them until you're cleared?"

"Yes, Stitch."

"And you won't forget about your follow-up tomorrow? You can have a juice box. Or a pudding cup. You can choose. Needle got some."

Waxer coos. Cody glares at him.

("That's KP duty for you," Boil whispers. "Just you wait.")

"I won't, Stitch."

"Good. Thank you, sir. And- Helix told me to tell you that you- that you're lucky you got me and not him, sir, because he'd be, um- a damn sight louder, sir, because he's got no patience for- for idiots, sir."

A beat.

"That's from him, sir," Stitch repeats anxiously.

Cody sighs. "That's all right, Stitch. Well done."

Stitch brightens immediately, rocking back on his heels. "I'll save you a chocolate pudding cup, sir, if you like. Those ones are the best, so they tend to go fast."

A smile flickers across Cody's face. "Thank you. I'd appreciate it. You're dismissed."

Stitch salutes-- shiny little tubie, small gods-- and vanishes out the door.

Kenobi has given up the game entirely, now, and is grinning broadly. Cody turns on him immediately.

"Stop that."

"Stop what, my dear?"

"The thing you're doing with your face."

"Smiling?"

"Smugly. Yes."

"I'm just pleased with our medics' professionalism, Commander."

"I've got two dozen witnesses to that for the next time you try to dodge them."

"Noted. Can I have your pudding cup?"

"No."

#shoulder the sky #stitch the medic #codywan #teasing is a perfectly valid love language

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danyvhell-writes · 11 months

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General Ais headcanons (Touchstarved)

GN reader | The obsession with this game is real guys :') I can't get away

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• Cat boyfriend like, bro will fall asleep on you (your chest, lap...) but if you dare to move just a little tiny bit the magic is over ! He will wake up instantly and go somewhere else to take a nap :')

• He's not gonna tell you but he likes when you touch his hair. Caress him, touch his horns, ruffle his hair even ! He's down for it and the moment you discover his little secret he'll give you endless opportunities to do so

• ↑ Scratch his head, please. Weak spot is right at the junction of his back horns, tug softly on his hair and the boy will melt.

• Ais is a man of few words but he really enjoys talking with you. Most of the time he'll annoy you just as an excuse to interact with you so you can start talking with him (and 99% of the time it works). He finds your little conversations entertaining and relaxing somehow.

• Btw, this guy will listen to you rambling. Talk about your latest obsession, stuff you like, things that seem unimportant : he will listen. He's curious to know more and especially if it's related to your fascinating person. Sometimes he'll just sit next to you and lean in your space just to have a better hearing of what you're saying. It might feel like you're monopolising the conversation but no no, he'll respond with snarky comments, laugh if you say something funny or ask you to keep going with your story. And also, he really likes your voice so...

• You remember when he said "I got eyes in the back of my head." ? (something like that) Well yeah ! His eyes are on you, always. His gaze will follow you wherever you are, with or without him. I'm sure this man uses the Groupmind to spy on MC ! Like bro come on, stop crushing this hard.

• If you have pets, they're not yours anymore. He WILL adopt them. Could be any animal or magic creature really, he will offer them absolute love in just two seconds. "Oh, this is my cat ! Her name's Nori, you can pet her if you want, she's super friendly." *pets her* "Oh yes you are !" *lifts her up so he can take her in his arms like a baby* "Look at you, you're gorgeous. Such pretty eyes, cute little face, kitty kitty~ !"

• He loves seeing you close to his soulless but he's also a tiny bit jealous to see that you sometimes prefer Princess' company rather than his. He'd be like "Uh hello I can do tricks too if that's what you like ??"

• He likes tea. That's it. That's the headcanon. No more seriously... I feel like he could be a tea amateur and genuinely enjoys a good cup of tea. If you don't know alot about it, he'll teach you the different types, how to infuse them correctly, what dishes you can pair them up with ! Want to learn how to make a real exquisite matcha tea ? He'll show you with much pride !

• ↑ Chit chat with him around some tea he made and he's yours. Bonus point if you ask for more. Extra bonus point if you're able to guess which tea it is.

• Has a special cup he keeps just for you when you visit him. He remembers your favourite drink and makes sure to always have a bottle/the ingredients when you come.

• If Ais is an oni, he might be japanese, so, this man speaks japanese. Most people think that because of his appearance he'd be super rude but oh no no no, the boy is polite. People assume he'd use 'ore' but nah ah, full 'watashi' user over here. You know that thing when your voice and demeanor changes a little when you switch languages ? That's him. His voice tends to go softer when he speaks japanese, he doesn't even realize.

• We know he likes learning about new languages, teach him some stuff. Of course he'll remember the curse words & insults quickly but pet names and romantic nouns are his favourites. If you're polyglot, show off a little, he likes it. Talk in your native tongue, even if he doesn't get anything at first, he will crush even harder. "Eh t'savais que les girafes avaient le même nombre de vertèbres que nous ? C'est juste qu'elles sont plus longues. C'est ouf ça !" "You make French sound so attractive and I'm sure you're not even saying anything particularly sexy..." "Yep !" "God, I want them so bad." he thinks

• After some time, you'd both start to naturally use words or phrases you've taught each other/you've heard from each other. He'd flex on you just to show how much of a fast learner he is, he wants to see you proud of him.

• Cracks his joints. A lot. Also stretches a lot.

• That guy who asks you to pull on his arms or whatever to help him stretch as hard as possible. "More." "What do you mean more ? I'm gonna break your bones !" "I said more, I"m not fragile you know." until you hear a big 'pop' and he sighs with contentment.

• If you burp in front of him, he'll make it a competition. "You think this is a big one ? Oh sparrow... you're a little player." And then proceeds to traumatize you for the next decade. "Do you have the fucking devil in you ???" "Nope, just my friend Ocudeus. He's gross, I know >:)"

• Traces small patterns along your skin when he's bored. He's really gentle when it comes to touching you.

• That type of guy who's obsessed with your hair, especially if it has a different texture than his. You could be doing anything and this bastard (affectionate) will twirl your hair, put clips in it, try hairstyles if you let him. He'll let you do the same to him if you want ! Go on, have fun with your new doll lmao

• Give him the silliest clothes and accessories, he will wear them. The bimboest crop top ? Yeah cool. Bat hair clips ? Cute.

• Would joke about eating you to scare you but strangely you're always the one ending up biting him ! (not that he minds)

• 100% asks you if you want to fight. Like not in a threatening way but to test you out, he wants to see if you can handle a little sparring.

• If you're someone who enjoys working out, he proposes to train with you. It sometimes follows to some sparring which might end up with you guys kissing... weird uh

• Has a particularly good memory. He remembers things that even yourself forgot, like really he’s your second brain (and often you’re glad). Everytime you’re asking him “How do you even remember that tf ??” and he’s just “Don’t know 🤷🏻‍♂️“

• You're the type of person who calls any guy 'bro' ? No prob, he finds it funny. He's not offended in the slightest and even actually likes it, he knows it's a language tic. Would definitely send you this type of dumb shit ouezghfoez 😭

• He can be a little chaotic sometimes but you like it. After all he’s a demon, he likes joking and pranking so even better if you join him in his mischievous activities hehe. You guys would do the silliest stuff and try not to burst out laughing. Evil ones, evil.

• Does that cute thing where he leans in close to you when you’re watching something and follows your gaze. He’s just a curious lil guy !

#touchstarved game #ais #touchstarved #touchstarved ais #ais x reader #gn reader #headcanons #touchstarved headcanons #touchstarved demo #red spring studios #i wrote more than what i planned but hey it's fun #i'm obsessed #like fr it's not a joke i'm so gay for him #please request some hcs i'm dying guys !!!#there's so much in my little head for the love interests my brain's gonna implode #my hcs

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rallamajoop · 9 months

Text

Cultic Iconography in Resident Evil Village

As the kind of nerd who loves all the creepy artwork you can find decorating Miranda-shrines around the village (like, just check out that one of the half-skeletal Miranda hovering in the graveyard and just tell me that isn't metal AF), I was on the lookout for the original image assets while poking through the game files. I'm hardly an expert on Catholic or Orthodox iconography (plenty of which is creepy enough just to begin with), but I adore how you can see all those elements being twisted and appropriated by Miranda's cult. You'll find these six pictures plastered all over the village in various combinations.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was to find a whole extra batch of unused artwork in the same set!

Lest you doubt these were all meant to go together, they all hail from the one big compilation file ‒ I've just cropped them out separately for ease of viewing. For all I know, maybe some of these were used somewhere in the game and I just never caught it (and if you have spotted any, please let me know!)

But taken at face value, our unused images consist of one picture of the megamycete, a 10-winged-madonna figure (why limit yourself to just 6?), a side profile of Miranda herself (possibly excluded because it shows off a little too much of her real face?), two images of dead crows, and (strangest of all) a man holding a goat head.

That last pic especially stands out ‒ and not just because I could (and, indeed, now have) legit write you a whole essay on just the significance of the goat's head motif as a protective symbol in the village (seriously, it's everywhere from the Goats of Warding to the symbol on the shield of the Maiden of War statue), so I'm going to be all over any new example. But who the hell is that guy carrying it? No other image centers anyone but Miranda herself as an object of worship. This looks more like someone's taken a generic pic of the likes of St Francis of Assisi hanging out with some animals (it's a theme, you can look it up), then just cut the poor animal off at the neck for added creep factor.

So do we take it that this guy was, at some point, meant to be another key figure in Miranda's cult? Or was generic-saint-with-animal-plus-extra-squick all they were really going for? Was it drawn before the writers made Miranda the cult leader? Or could this even have been intended (as the goats themselves seem to be) as some in-universe, pre-Miranda relic of an earlier era?

Also interesting: he appears to be holding one of those ornate staves you can also see in the fire and skeletal images of Miranda above (and can also find in the field near Luisa's early in the game, before they're all replaced by charred, semi-crucified corpses). Did that symbol predate Miranda too? Fascinating, either way.

Those two crow pictures may be even more intriguing still. I'm sure we all remember that spooky batch of dead and/or hanging crows Ethan discovers at the start of his descent into the village, but thereafter nothing like that is ever seen again. Given that Miranda herself is so closely associated with crows, it's reasonable to wonder if this very-literal murder-of-crows was in fact some act of heresy by an unbeliever, deliberately hidden out in the woods.

But if images of dead crows ‒ including one hung in the very same position ‒ were at some point intended to appear alongside other images of Miranda-veneration, then presumably veneration was always the intent for those dead crows out in the woods. Suffering is, of course, a key part of the stories of so many saints. And perhaps crows are sacred only in the same way that the goats are: ideal candidates for ritual sacrifice.

Much as I love all the concept art you can already unlock with the game, I'd pay good money for a proper artbook going into all this kind of design work. There's clearly so much more that went into the concept art stages of this game that I'd love to hear more about.

And while we're at it, here's a nice big version of the standard winged-fetus symbol too:

#Resident Evil Village #Resident Evil #RE assets #Mother Miranda #Miranda's cult #unused assets #meta

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dilatorywriting · 1 year

Note

I have come to pour some Monsters & Mayhem Rook brainrot in your inbox. Hope that's okay!

Rook is a freelance bounty hunter who most people find deeply unsettling. He never accepts payment, only picks up specific targets which interest him, and never fails his mission. It doesn't matter if the target hasn't been sighted in two years, after 3 days of taking the request, Root is at the commissioner's house at 3am (the witching hour) on the dot, a large, bloodied burlap sack behind him, and a heart in his left hand as the obligatory proof of death. He offers to show the corpse as well (waving at the sack behind him) if they wish, but no-one ever takes him up on the offer. What with his polished smile that lacks any warmth and his green gaze that seems to be looking into your very soul. The bloodstains on his clothes and his uncanny ability to pick up on the very thought that happens to be crossing your mind at that moment does not help matters either.

In truth, Rook is a Reaper. At least, this is what the MC comes to suspect. MC is runs a bakery in the village - something they come to regret on a daily basis because being a baker means waking up at 4am so you can start the ovens by 5am and begin your prep for the day. But MC likes making pasteries, truly, and it was between this or their parents marrying them off to that stuck up noble in the next town over who only really wanted someone to make him strawberry tarts day in and day out.

The first time MC meets Rook is when they're shuffling around on the shop floor at 4:30am, arranging some of yesterdays leftover treats that had been stored in the ice box, when they become suddenly aware that someone is at the window, watching them. They turn and there is Rook, plastered on the window watching with such rapt fascination. Perhaps MC should have had a more adverse reaction, considering the time, and the bloodstains on his clothes, and such, but it was too early for that. Instead, they crack open the door and offer him a small tart to say "please promptly leave - you're getting smudges on the glass". The way Rook starts marvelling at it like he's never seen one before, and especialy when he inists on MC eating a bite first "to show how one might savour them", starts to raise suspicions that he might not be human. He starts dropping by every morning at the same ungodly hour, and asks for pasteries in exchange for whatever strange (and rare) ingredient he's picked up, and MC even lets him inside to eat them. There's something endering in the way he can wax poetic about a piece of carrot cake.

Through general gossip from the mouths of customers, and Rook's own monologies, MC does piece together that yes, Rook is that bounty hunter, and that yes, he's most likely some sort of Reaper. He's a hunter by profession, and his last name is Hunt for gods sake, and he talks about tracking people down by "the light of one's soul" and whatnot. But MC remains largely unbothered. Rook may be strange, unhinged, and probably not human, but he's also oddly sweet. He's interesting to listen to, and it's refreshing to have a conversation with someone who isn't looking down their nose at you for being unmarried at your age.

Speaking of which, as rumors start to go around about that bounty hunter visting your bakery, another proposal from the tart-loving noble ends up on your doorstep. Except it's less of a proposal and more of a "the agreement between Duchess Roseharts and the family head, concerning the union between you and Riddle Roseharts, has been reached. This is a curstesy call for any last objections, before final arrangements are made. Only objections with a basis in the kingdom's law will be considered".

And so, because you've never been very good at making up lies, and because Rook seems to scare everyone, and because Rook has, technically, proposed to you before (many times, which you never took seriously, in his long winded speeches of praise about your baking), you write in response: I object to this union, on the basis that I have already accepted a marriage proposal from Rook Hunt.

Chaos then ensues.

Ooooh this is top-tier brain rot indeed. Reaper Rook? I'm here for it. Also, like, I just recently watched the new Puss in Boots movies and like, THAT sort of reaper? That kind of death? And Rook having that sort of presence and terror factor?

But oh my goodness, this is all marvelous. I love Rook and his oddities so much, and he's been slipping more and more into all the other character's lil stories. But ahhh, Reaper!Rook, Reaper!Rook... You sound very lovely. Excuse my while I go brain rot over this

#Asks #Monster Mayhem #Rook Hunt

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wannab-urs · 9 months

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 16

Howdy folks,

I went into a state of psychosis this week and read a truly absurd amount of fics... again. I don't even know where I'm finding the time, truly, but here we are. I didn't spend as much time keeping up with the WIPs I'm reading, so honestly that's probably it. Also I had a lil monsterfucking moment one day this week. I'll highlight those green so if you want to avoid reading the summaries/thots on those they're easy to spot.

You can find my Spreadsheet here and all my previous recs here! Do feel free to tag me in your works and I will happily give them a look and most likely you'll see them here the next week!

Recs below the behind the scenes Joel!

SNAFU - a Frankie series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

The Triple Frontier boys as Shifters!!! This honestly makes so much sense? Like they work SO well with this dynamic. I adore Pope and Reader's bond like right out of the gate. What I really, really fucking loved though was Reader and Frankie, of course. I love how they characterized him and I really love the way that Frankie and reader bonded over time. Frankie being grumpy is so fun lol. A lot of the little details in this fic are what really make it good, ya know? The pack dynamics, the bonding moments, the badass reader, reader's uhhh issue (spoiler, I think, so I'll be quiet here) but yeah. Just. Wonderful. Can't wait for more.

only daddy that'll walk the line - a Joel one shot by @millerscoffee

So this request was sent to two different blogs and I read them both and loved them both. I read this one first. I really fucking loved Reader's dynamic with Joel in this. Joel is such a dick lmao. I thought the situation with reader's dad was done well and I also loved the hinting at Joel's trauma. And of course... the smut. God that was hot. Joel is so fucking dominant. The spitting? please. and Reader keeping up the brat thing just really fucking makes it. She needed Daddy Joel to make her behave lmao. SO GOOD

Little Bee - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

And this is the other version of this request that I read. I related to the specifc brand of Daddy Issues in this one lmao. Dad who doesn't want you so you look for a protective older man (why am I like this). I loved the way reader antagonized Joel in this. The denture comment is hilarious. The bee motif is fuckin great, also. I like that Joel kind of initiates things in the mess hall. The smut is so god damn hot man. Like jesus fucking christ. And then the post nut clarity really made me giggle. "should not have done that" PLS

Closer - a Joel series by @beardedjoel

Hot neighbor!joel!! This is a smut marathon style fic with a good bit of feelings. The smut is sooooo good!! I really liked her friend Sofia too. I'm about halfway through this and I can't wait to see how reader and joel's relationship develops!

Rises the Moon - a Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

(monsterfucking, but you're the monster! also monster is being used very loosely here) mermaid reader x lighthouse operator joel!!! I really enjoyed this. The mermaid reader was super interesting. I wanted to know more about her background, honestly. And the way poor lonely Joel so desperately wanted to care for her UGH. It was seriously lovely. I also really liked how reader didn't commit to like... giving up being a mermaid for him (even just once a month), and he didn't ask her to. The ending is really lovely. (And the smut is hot idc if I couldn't quite imagine how it worked, it was perfect).

Playing with fire - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Super hot smutty lil dad's best friend one shot. I love when Joel gets all pissy. Makes me want to tease him even more lmao

Cupid's Chokehold - a Din one shot by @deathwife

I haven't read a body swap fic before and I must say the dynamic with it being Din, so reader can't see his face even though it's her face, and also the smut was just like... really good. I was fascinated the whole time + the smut was hot as hell. It's really fun to read it from the perspective of the dick owner lmao. I really adored their relationship and just overall thought this was lovely. Reader calls Din "Djarin" so if you're like me and marrying Din would give you an awful name (Din Gin....), you're not alone. <3

I think i know - a Joel one shot by @pascalisbaby

OMG Reader's sister is so mean in this she fucking deserves Joel cheating on her. Yes this is Sister's Husband!Joel. And yes it's really fucking hot. Reader is a menace to fucking society in this prancing around half naked and seducing a married man and I support every second of it. I know what Joel said at the end but I think he'll be back for more....

close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise - a Joel/Tommy series by @ozarkthedog

Raider (?) Tommy and Joel are so fucking hot. Read the warnings on this one kids, it's gonna be a rough one. Nothing happens in this part though, really. Basically you're stranded on the road (post outbreak / pre tess) and Joel and Tommy roll up in their truck and take you to their cabin.

a day in the filth - a Joel one shot by @toxicanonymity

This is pure filth, as the title implies. It would seem you're Joel's little sex toy, essentially. Brat tamer!Daddy!Joel. There's a lot going on here and it is all unreasonably hot.

Bodily Exchange - a Pero Tovar one shot by @absurdthirst

I finally caved a read a mafia fic and somehow it wasn't Joel. I really loved how much of a fucking dick Tovar was and how bratty reader was. The end was so much sweeter than expected, which was a nice surprise. Such a filthy fic with a sweet happy ending!

New York or Nowhere - a Joel series by @beskarandblasters

BODEGA JOEL!!! I love when you're trying to help your friend come up with a fic based on a very specific request and somehow you come up with a completely different fic altogether. New York transplant Joel owns Beldro's Deli. You think he's really hot but your friends think he's a creep. I personally think if he's a little bit of a creep that just makes it better, but then again I'm a little insane <3

Shiver and Shake - a Joel one shot by @multiversed-daydreamer

I have ADHD and literally do the thing where I have thought spirals during sex. I loved this take on that experience and mean ol dom Joel being there to bring your focus back where it belongs (on him). Super fucking hot ugh. And it was their first TLOU fic and I thought the QZ Joel characterization was spot on <3

Roads - a Joel series by @milla-frenchy

Baby's first fic!! So you grew up with Tommy, best friends and all that. You get to know Joel as an adult and there's a spark right away. The first installment here takes place 3 years before present day, after Joel breaks your heart and you literally move to get away from him. The promise of so much angst has me salivating almost as much as the really hot smut.

Promise - an Ezra one shot by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

MONSTERFUCKING! I had a little binge this week.. you'll see. Anyway Ezra is a literal actual dragon in this with a big ol dragon dick and everything. This fic includes so many wild ass kinks I simply do not (or did not know I?) have. And yet I still loved it. Thought it was super fucking hot. I really liked the imagery of the castle and the bedroom. Also the end was kind of sweet?

Common Courtesies - a Din one shot by @juletheghoul

More monsterfucking -- demon!din! I fucking love Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen in general. Mr. Darcy is one of the literary loves of my life. This little Pride and Prejudice-esque Demon!Din fic hit every mark. I loved it so much. Din is so charming and mysterious and sexy ugh. I would marry him in a heartbeat.

Solum - a Dave York one shot by @ezrasbirdie

You guessed it! Monsterfucking. Demon!Dave York!!! I really enjoyed the blending of the movie plot with the demon arc! It was so well done!! Dave was super sexy in this ugh. I too feel a strange pull toward extremely dangerous men covered in blood. Reader gets me. I am her. She is me. Demon!Dave can take me as his little human sex toy any day, idc. I also kind of loved that he was so sweet on Carol in this? Like usually in Dave fics he kinda hates her or cheats on her or she's his ex, but in this one the whole catalyst was keeping her and his girls safe. Very sweet.

Sell My Soul For You - a Marcus P one shot by @absurdthirst

--monsterfucking-- Marcus is so sweet. So sweet that Reader is getting a little aggravated he can't be a less sweet in bed. (Girl have you tried like... talking to him about it?) Anyway, sweet, impulsive, reckless Marcus finds out you feel this way via buttdial and does he like... work on it with you and slowly learn to be better? No. He goes out and sells his soul to a demon to be a better Dom. Idiot. He's cute tho, so I'll let it slide. The smut is super fucking unreasonably hot, of course.

Bad Moon Rising - a Jack series by @wardenparker

--werewolf!Jack-- This fic is actually so fucking sweet!! So part one, Reader doesn't know Jack is a werewolf and he just kinda shows up on her ranch and they hit it off immediately. There's lots of lovely animal references and stuff and it's all really hot. I love the plot too!! this is not just werewolf porn! Shit is incredible! I love the characterization. But anyway if you're not into monsterfucking just read part one. Part two tho... oh boy. Full on werewolf sex. And reader has a kink for it! She's just like me fr.

Kudzu - an Ezra one shot by @beskarberry

--weird alien hybrid ezra-- I have lots of emotions about this fic. First of all, read the warnings. They're extensive and they're there for good reason. I love a good horror fic, which is kind of what this felt like? Like the weird tension and unknowing and the freaky way Ez is talking and that arm. I was thoroughly freaked out (and I love that!!). There were so many clever and interesting things going on in this fic AHHHH, Oh and the ending is just like super sweet and wonderful and so good? The end balances out the kind of horrific nature of the rest of the fic. Also if any of that sounds insulting I really don't mean it that way, I promise. I went in to it expecting to be freaked out and it delivered so well.

Yes Father - a Joel series by @chloeangelic

Your boring catholic husband doesn't fuck you right and you really want to leave him, so Father Joel helps you satisfy your needs so you don't destroy your marriage and go to hell. I love blasphemy. It's hot idc. I think my favorite thing about it is Father Joel randomly admonishing you for foul language and taking the lord's name in vain while he's literally got some part of his body buried in yours. I giggled. I really adore this. It was super fun and super hot.

Pillow Talk - a Joel one shot by @theboredinsomniac

Joel is soooo the jealous type. This fic is basically y'all having an adult conversation about him being an insecure jealous little bitch and it's got the most adorable ending.

Born to Run - a Marcus Pike series by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Penny's Marcus is just perfect. Every damn time. Unless I'm mistaken, this was her first Marcus fic? I was in the mood for a sweet multichapter thing with some hot smut and I was sooooo not disappointed by this. I'm on chapter 8 now, so about halfway through. Marcus is so sweet and precious and still impulsive as ever, but unlike Theresa, reader is right there with him. I really adore that this fic takes place in KY (and it really captures the vibe of Kentucky too) since I'm from there! I very much do not relate to the fact that reader is a marathon runner, but that's okay. I think it's really cool and I love the way they meet and that Marcus isn't fully a white knight? She can take care of herself. Super fucking cute fic ugh. Oh yeah and the smut is to die for jesus christ Marcus is hot.

----------------------

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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trisscar368 · 5 months

Note

You absolutely need to realize that real people fiction is absolutely dehumanizing to real life people when you make up headcannons about them and turn them into fictional characters to jerk off to in fanfics. It is absolutely not ok in any way shape or form. and it is, actually, sexual harassment to make someone know "everyone" wants to jerk it to them.

How does RPF differentiate from AI porn art of actors? drawings depicting actors in sexual situations? because its words, its ok? because theyre a celebrity, they're not human and therefore public property to use their humanity however you please?

the complete lack of consideration of the real life person you are turning into a toy is so repulsive. the amount of youtubers alone who have had to come out and say how uncomfortable it makes them should be enough. You should not be acting until told not to; its something you should only do IF they very clearly condone it. but even then, the gall to ask someone "can I write a romance novel about you and who" is absolutely an offputting thing to ask of anyone.

No, not because "sex is taboo" but because forcing unwarranted things like that on absolute strangers, is sexual harassment.

Reading comprehension questions:

Did OP advocate for harassing celebrities in the original post?

No. The entire point of the post was listing out ways that fandom harasses celebrities and telling them to cut that shit out.

Did OP state that people should tell celebrities about their fantasies?

No. That is... quite literally antithetical to the original post. Fascinated how you're agreeing with so much of my post and yet falling so flat at the end.

Did OP say anything about their personal interaction with RPF that might have an impact on how seriously they can take this anonymous message?

Yes. OP mentioned in the post that rpf is a squick that they blacklist. OP is not mushing any celebrities together like toys, either literally or metaphorically. OP is almost wondering if you got them confused with some other cabbage on the internet.

Reading comprehension: 0/10

There is -- and this is the part that truly I cannot let slide without commentary -- an equivalency in your message between people having and talking about fantasies (RPF existing) and the act of harassment. Let's look at the definition of harassment really quick.

Repeated or continuing unconsented contact that would cause a reasonable individual to suffer emotional distress and that actually causes the victim to suffer emotional distress.

Key word there? Contact.

People in a youtube comment section telling the youtuber how sexy they are, or how cute they are with their co-host omg my ship is so squee? Harassment. Contact has been made, the people doing are in that creator's forum space. Do not pass go do not collect $200.

Someone unsolicitedly tagging the cast of a tv show in explicit rpf fic or explicit art on Instagram, xitter, tik-tok, etc? Harassment, that individual is initiating contact with the actor. Same way endless phone calls constitutes harassment.

Sending anything explicit to an actor's family? Waaaay harassment. Possibly stalking as well, depending.

Someone writing a fic on ao3? Not harassment. It's not being sent to the celebrity. There is no contact, the only way they know about it is to go looking themself or have a friend send it to them (and hey, don't be that friend unless you've asked if it's okay).

Explicit fanart posted in fandom spaces? Not harassment.

Fic and art that stays behind the fandom wall? When no contact is made, there is no harassment.

It is not the existence of the fantasy that causes problems, it's the celebrities constantly having to hear about it. That's harassment.

Art existing, fic existing, discussions or fantasies existing do not constitute harassment. Someone writing fanfic and sharing it with their friends is not forcing it onto the celebrity. Someone expressing a sexual desire to a third party is not forcing either the desire or the act on the celebrity.

Thoughts are not actions.

This is a hill I will die on. This is a hill we should all die on, honestly, but as a someone who grew up with OCD, the fact that my intrusive thoughts don't alter reality is really fucking important.

Being out in the sunlight will not kill my friends. Calling the wrong phone number will not result in my family dying over the following few days.

Having a sexual impulse, having desire, does not itself alter reality. Saying those thoughts out loud, admitting that someone is hot, that they have chemistry with a costar? Writing it down to share? Has as little impact on reality as the rituals I had to repeat endlessly as a kid to keep the Bad away.

RPF is not an act of assault. It is not, inherently, harassment.

Is fandom really bad at keeping the fourth wall up? Yeah. There are a lot of people who harass celebrities and think it's fine, because the celebrity is rich and they can just go cry into their money. (To be clear, I think that's bullshit.) But again, constantly, endlessly, it's what people do that matters.

“You’d have done the same,” said Lily. “No,” said Granny. “I’d have thought the same, but I wouldn’t have done it.” “What difference does that make, deep down?” “You mean you don’t know?” said Nanny Ogg.

#cabbage consulting #long post #fandom wank

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 1 year

Note

(ik mc doesn't have any memories of their family but lets just say they got their memories back and theyre visiting their family)

how would the m6 be like when they meet mc's parent(s)?

The Arcana HCs: M6 meeting the parent(s)

~ can I say how badly I've been wanting to write this? This is giving me so much serotonin, thank you anon! - brainrot ~

Julian

Outwardly an anxious mess, inwardly very excited. This man adores family

He chose a future with you, he knows your parent/s must mean a lot to you if you're introducing him to them, he wants them to like him!

He also keenly felt the loss of his own parents, and while he's not looking to replace them, he's not opposed becoming an honorary child of theirs (son-in-law, perhaps? Only if you're interested...)

Completely fumbles the introductions and definitely comes across as a little overeager to please

However, if the meeting lasts beyond ten minutes, he'll get over himself and his natural charm and charisma will shine

Nobody can tell stories like he can, and you're his favorite subject

Your parent/s will most likely have a good impression of him by the end of the first visit. He wears his heart on his sleeve and it's full of good intentions

If they dislike him, it will most likely be a reaction to his loud, dramatic tendencies coming across as all feeling and no commitment. Give it another visit or two and they'll quickly see otherwise

Is so quick to assimilate. He'll be calling them what you call them (e.g. "mom"/"dad") as soon as it's allowed

Asra

They're very honored to meet your parent/s, and they do want to be accepted, but they have such a naturally easygoing nature that you worry they're not taking it seriously

He's also got his own issues from being left behind as a small child. As much as he's been able to reconnect with his own parents, he still expects parental figures to vanish by default

Will casually stroll in and introduce themself like it's no big deal

Until he sees all the things you share in common. Mannerisms, phrases, facial expressions, physical features if you share DNA with them

Now they're SO invested. This is a treasure trove of information about you, they want to hear all the stories and see all the pictures

Conversation will mostly consist of him asking questions about your time with them and responding to their answers

The difficulty lies in how hard it is for him to talk about himself. Anytime the conversation becomes about him he redirects it

If your parent/s disapprove of them, it's for this reason. It's hard to connect with someone who refuses to open up

If Asra has cause to trust them, they will eventually connect. Either way, it's no secret how deeply dedicated they are to you

Nadia

Calm and collected on the outside

Stressed and panicking on the inside

She's planning to marry you. Your parent/s will be her parent/s. She does not want to mess this up

It doesn't help that the main things she's felt from her family have been judgment and mockery. She doesn't want version 2 of that

Discreetly does research on them. Hobbies, interests, careers, personality types, etc

Very stiff and formal at first. She doesn't want to show any weaknesses and will try to subtly flex her strengths

Thankfully, she's a brilliant conversationalist. Once she's spoken to them for a few minutes she'll be able to relax and interact freely with them

Also fascinated with all the things you have in common with them. Wants to hear about all the sides of you she hasn't seen yet

She has wonderful intuition and will easily steer away from awkward topics and focus on shared interests

If your parent/s disapprove of her, it's most likely from her aloofness in the first ten minutes. She's much more intimidating than she thinks she is

However, she is dedicated. If they mean a lot to you, she'll go out of her way to build one on one relationships with them and treat them with the respect she does her own

Muriel

This is going to require so many pep talks in advance, he is an anxious wreck

Does he love you? Yes. Does he value your connection with your parent/s? Very much. He knows how much he misses his own. Is he convinced that they're going to hate him? Unfortunately, also yes

Will ask you to warn them about him ahead of time to avoid as much misunderstanding as possible

Absolutely petrified when he meets them. He's only going to manage one word answers the whole first visit. He's putting all of his energy into not running away

Unless you have a parent with insanely strong nurturing instincts, it's going to be a while before they warm up to him. He already has quite the intimidating presence

He is also determined. He learned too late how much he meant to his parents and he wants you to have a happy story with them

So he will visit them with you again. And again. And again. As many times as it takes until they accept him

Because he's so determined to keep your connection with your parent/s, it's unlikely they'll have any long lasting issues with him

If anything, they'd be concerned at how isolated your life is in the woods. Tell them about how Vesuvia calls him a hero and they might change their mind(s)

Portia

You still have yours? Of course she wants to meet them!

Not that anxious about it. She can get along with almost anyone, and if they're important to you then they must be the best

It's still very important to her to make a good impression though, so she'll be full of questions about what they do and don't like

Also curious about who raised her favorite person. By the time she meets them she's so excited

Most likely insists on having them over for dinner and planning out all her best dishes

Will hug them when they arrive, no hesitation or awkwardness allowed. Immediately treats them like family and pumps them for stories of your childhood

What adventures did you have together? What kind of child were you? Do they have pictures? Show her, show her!

It is highly unlikely that your parent/s will find anything to dislike about her. They might be a little overwhelmed by how intensely involved she gets or how quickly she makes herself comfortable, but that's it

She's the type of person who can make anyone feel at home. When she tells them to visit whenever they want, she means it

Will consider them part of her social circle. If you're out shopping together she'll point things out that they might like

Lucio

Oh dear. He's never been very good with parents. Or authority figures for that matter

He killed his own dad, okay? Like he's grown a lot, and he definitely regrets it, but MC! Are you sure this is a good idea??

Both overconfident and nervous. It matters a lot that he make a good impression on them

But when he's honest with himself, he just knows your parents will think that you could do better

So he'll just have to show them all the reasons that he's the best!

The first meeting is a disaster. He's peacocking and boasting and nervously spewing his thoughts a mile a minute

In fact, he's such a mess that your parent/s believe you completely when you pin his behavior on his anxiety

The next time he meets them he's embarrassed himself enough to put on his best manners

It's such a positive contrast to the last encounter that they'll walk away from it saying that he's a surprisingly nice guy

He's so hyped from making a good first (second) impression as a changed man that he will do everything in his power to keep that reputation

"MC, would [parent] like this? Should I bring it to them next time? What should I wear? Do they have any favorite songs?"

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana fluff #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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mimisempai · 5 months

Text

Under the mistletoe

Summary

A mysterious sprig of mistletoe magically appears above Crowley and Aziraphale and only disappears once a kiss has been given.

5 times when they need mistletoe to share a kiss and once when the mistletoe isn't necessary...

Notes

Thank you @tammyquest-blog for your donation to Alzheimer's Research UK in exchange for this story.

INEFFABLE ADVENT CALENDER

On Ao3

Rating G - 1344 words

The first time, they were sitting next to each other on the sofa, reading, and it was Crowley who noticed the sprig of mistletoe floating above them.

The demon asked with amusement, "Angel, are you responsible for this?"

Aziraphale looked up and, after shaking his head, replied, "No, not at all."

Crowley studied him as if he didn't believe the angel's words before saying playfully, "That's all right, it won't stop me from enjoying it.

He moved closer to Aziraphale and, grabbing his hand, kissed each knuckle before leaving a lingering kiss on the palm.

At Aziraphale's surprised look, he simply replied with a teasing gleam in his eyes, "Well, no matter which spot I kissed, it was still a kiss under the mistletoe, wasn't it?"

Then, without waiting for an answer, the demon got up and walked away innocently under the angel's puzzled gaze.

Long after he'd gone, Aziraphale was still looking at the palm of his hand, thinking he could still feel the warm pressure of Crowley's lips on his skin.

He looked up and discovered, strangely enough, that the sprig of mistletoe had disappeared.

The second time, it was Maggie who noticed the mistletoe floating above them. Aziraphale was about to leave when the record saleswoman tapped on the window of the bookshop and gestured to show them that the mistletoe had indeed reappeared.

This time, it was the angel who took advantage of the situation.

He placed his hands on Crowley's shoulders and gently pulled the demon to bend over him. Crowley thought he was about to be kissed on the lips, but Aziraphale caught his head between his hands and tilted it a little more before placing his lips on the demon's forehead for a lingering kiss.

Crowley's eyes widened in surprise before he surrendered to the kiss. Then the angel pulled back and gave the Aziraphalee spot a second, shorter kiss before finally moving away.

He said cheekily, "You're the one who said it didn't matter which spot was kissed, right? So I hope you enjoyed that kiss under the mistletoe, my dear."

With that, he put on his coat and bounced out of the bookstore, happy with his victory. He didn't notice Crowley, who touched his forehead with his fingertips, a slight look of awe on his face.

What's certain is that neither of them realized that the mistletoe was already gone.

The third time was in the planetarium. Crowley had just finished a session and Aziraphale joined him in the center of the amphitheater asking gently, "Ready to go home, my dear?"

"Let me finish tidying up and we'll go."

Aziraphale watched, transfixed by the seriousness with which the demon went about his task, and pleased to see that he was thriving in this activity.

"Mr. Crowley?"

The angel was jolted from his contemplation by an old man who had attended the session and continued while pointing at something above them, "Oh, looks like they're starting to put up the Christmas decorations."

The angel and the demon looked up and once again saw a sprig of mistletoe that seemed to be hanging above them. The man added, "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that your session was absolutely fascinating for a retired astrophysicist like me. Good work, really. You can be sure I'll be back."

The old man patted Crowley on the shoulder and left under the demon's astonished gaze.

Aziraphale felt so proud of him at that moment and was about to tell him when he suddenly felt a gentle pressure on his cheek.

Moving away, the demon pointed his finger at the mistletoe, a small smile on his lips.

Aziraphale chuckled slightly before grabbing Crowley's hand and pulling him behind him, saying, "This deserves a brunch at the Ritz."

"What, the mistletoe?"

"Idiot, you."

"What, me?"

Aziraphale turned to him and said gently, "Because I'm proud of you and what you're achieving here, and I want to celebrate it."

There was no mistletoe, but he still pecked the demon's mouth with a light kiss before dragging him toward the exit.

The fourth time, it was Aziraphale who noticed the sprig of mistletoe.

Crowley was preparing tea in the back room, and as Aziraphale entered, he noticed something moving over the demon's head.

With a mischievous smile on his lips, he said nothing and moved forward in silence. He approached the demon and put his hands on his hips, startling him.

"Angel?"

Aziraphale tightened his hands a little on the demon's hips, preventing him from turning, then rose on tiptoe and gave Crowley a long kiss on the neck.

Then he whispered against the demon's ear, "It doesn't matter the spot, does it?" before grabbing one of the teacups and walking away as if nothing had happened.

The angel looked back one last time, satisfied to see a slightly blushing Crowley running his hand over his neck as he looked up at the ceiling where the mistletoe had once again vanished.

The fifth time, it was Nina who pointed out the mistletoe hanging above their heads.

They had come to the 'Give me coffee or give me death' for their coffee and Eccles cake and were waiting to be served when Nina, returning with their order in hand, exclaimed, "I don't remember putting that kind of decoration up here!

Aziraphale and Crowley looked up at the mistletoe, then at each other in silence, unsure of what to say.

The demon was the quickest to react, leaning toward Aziraphale, who lifted his head, thinking maybe this time he'd get a real kiss under the mistletoe. But the demon gave him only a light kiss on the nose before turning to Nina to pick up the coffees and leave with a light step.

Aziraphale, frustrated, took the cakes and just as he was about to say something, Nina shook her head and said, "Nope... you leave me out of your affairs."

A little embarrassed, the angel left the coffeeshop to join Crowley.

Crowley joined Aziraphale on the sofa and, after sitting down next to him, gave him a gentle nudge on the shoulder before saying softly, "Hey, Angel, you know you don't have to make a sprig of mistletoe float over our heads for me to kiss you."

Aziraphale turned his head sharply toward him, "I was about to say the same thing to you!"

He and Crowley looked at each other, dumbfounded, and asked at the same time, "But then who?"

Crowley shrugged and replied, taking Aziraphale's hand, "Actually, I don't care, and it's fair to say I found it amusing, but the truth is, mistletoe or not, I always want to kiss you."

He saw Aziraphale's expression soften, and the angel cupped his face in his hands before murmuring softly, "I was about to say the same thing to you," then closing the distance between them, he kissed the demon tenderly.

The kiss lingered, and much later they were curled up together on the sofa, Crowley's head on Aziraphale's chest as the angel ran his fingers through the demon's red hair.

The angel said quietly, "I still wonder who did it."

Crowley suddenly chuckled softly, "Do you realize there's only one other person around us capable of miracles?"

Aziraphale gasped and exclaimed, "Of course, our own little nosy bee. What's gotten into them?"

Receiving no answer, Aziraphale found Crowley's silence odd and asked, "Crowley?"

The demon kissed Aziraphale's chest before replying, "I think it's indirectly my fault. I may have said out loud that mistletoe was an excellent excuse to kiss someone, and that I hoped there would be mistletoe everywhere so that I could... kiss you. I don't think that fell on deaf ears."

Aziraphale laughed and then tugged gently on Crowley's hair, causing him to lift his head to capture his lips again for another kiss.

They didn't see Muriel across the street with Maggie in the coffee shop, enjoying a nice hot chocolate offered by Nina to congratulate them on the success of their plan.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : (After season 2)

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

#good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #aziraphale #crowley #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #GOS2Spoilers #nina good omens #maggie good omens #muriel good omens #5 + 1 things

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papermint-airplane · 2 months

Text

OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @stargazer-sims, @drawing-way-outside-the-lines, @bool-prop, and @happy-lemon. Hehehehehe now I get to do more than one! 😈

Aiden Ayy 👽

Name: Aiden Ayy

Nickname: He was definitely that kid who tried to nickname himself and then got frustrated when nothing stuck. Despite his best childhood efforts, Aiden has no nicknames. 😭

Gender: Male

Star sign: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'8"

Orientation: Pansexual

Nationality/Ethnicity: 100% Sixamite

Favorite Fruit: On Earth, pineapple. On Sixam, grarglefroot. It's basically a pineapple except blue.

Favorite Season: Spring.

Favorite Flower: I think I answered this before in a different post with some wild ass flower that looks like it belongs on an alien planet which is great worldbuilding and all but I literally forgot what it was so let's go with basic bitch roses. 😅

Favorite Scent: Cinnamon.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Aiden is up for any of these as long as they're spiked. He hasn't yet learned that not everyone does that all the time and that it makes you look like you have a problem if you do.

Average Hours of Sleep: Aiden doesn't actually need sleep! He meditates to restore his brain power but sleep isn't necessary for him. He's a lot like D&D elves in that way. He can choose to sleep if he wants to, though, because dreams are fun and he looks cute when he's eepy. 🥺

Dogs or Cats: Yes. Any animal at all, really. Aiden is fascinated with them.

Dream Trip: Sixam. Poor baby wants to go home. 😭

Number of Blankets: "I'm worried what you just heard was 'give me a lot of blankets'. What I said was 'give me all the blankets you have.' Do you understand?"

Random Fact: Aiden is based on a Sim I created in the Sims 2 when I was 18 for a Bachelorette Challenge. It was, predictably, a disaster, and the poor baby kept having mental breakdowns. I decided it was because he was new to Earth and the stress of all the unfamiliarity wore heavily on him, but it was definitely because I didn't know how to cheat needs at the time. He got a visit from the invisible psychiatrist more than once, you know? It became a character trait! Aiden, the nervous alien who just wants love. 👽💚

Roman Gallan 🧜‍♂️

Name: Roman Gallan

Nickname: "Hey Asshole". Guess who gave him that one. Go on, guess. (It was his little sister)

Gender: Male

Star sign: Leo ♌

Height: 5'11"

Orientation: Gay

Nationality/Ethnicity: Icthyan

Favorite Fruit: He's super fond of this obscure Earth fruit called a "lemon". He eats them whole, peel and all. Somebody please teach him not to do this. 😐

Favorite Season: Summer

Favorite Flower: Any and all wildflowers.

Favorite Scent: Cedar. Beating the moth accusations for sure.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Coffee. He likes it bitter and strong enough to crawl out of the cup under its own power.

Average Hours of Sleep: 5 or 6. He should probably sleep more but it's kind of hard when the distorted whispers of the primordial god that created your planet are emanating from your eye sockets. Most Icthyans learn to accept it as kind of a cursed ASMR, but Roman tends to sleep light anyway.

Dogs or Cats: Cats.

Dream Trip: It says here in my notes that he's always wanted to visit Uranu--ROMAN, SERIOUSLY?!

Number of Blankets: Roman's a hot sleeper, so no blankets for him, thanks.

Random Fact: Like all Icthyans, Roman is amphibious. He has lungs and can breathe on dry land like any Earth Sim, but he's also able to breathe underwater for an extended period of time.

I think everybody and their dog has done this one by now considering ol' Professional Crastinator Laura's stellar time management skills. 🙄 Let's throw a few names out, though. @miss-may-i, @treason-and-plot, @llamabees, @bellakenobi, @kimmiessimmies, @rebelangelsims, @moyokeansimblr, @id-element0. As always, ignore if you've already done it or just don't want to.

#tag game #tag meme #just simblr things #oc development #oc questions #sim: aiden ayy #sim: roman gallan

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snek-panini · 7 months

Text

It's Friday the 13th! Here, have a book completely unrelated to that:

It looks fairly straightforward from here, but this is a bind of @dietraumerei's wonderful Good Omens series, The Sprawl of Life. It's a canon universe, pre-season-2 South Downs Cottage fic, and I typeset it when I did because I'd just watched season 2 and wanted the fluffiest, sweetest, most slice-of-life thing I could think of and this was it. Seriously, if you have been personally victimized by the season 2 finale this might be the antidote you're looking for. Though admittedly some of the lines do hit a lot more bittersweetly now than they did when I first read it in 2019.

More pics under the cut! This one's got an unusual format, go have a look!

It's a dos-a-dos! My first one! Before I started making books I'd never even heard of this format, but I've been wanting to try it ever since I found it. It's hard to find stories that suit the format, though--they've got to be within a certain word count, about the same length, and related to one another, and they have to be a pair, not a three or four part story. They look super complicated without (I've found, anyway) actually being that hard to make. If you want to impress a non-bookbinder make one of these to show them; all my family were fascinated by it.

For materials, the floral cover is scapbook paper from Joann's (the fancy stuff that's very flexible and feels handmade) and the spine is Allure book cloth from Hollander's in the wisteria color. It's a perfect match for the lavender in the paper. I've only previously used the Lineco/Books By Hand book cloth and gotten good results, but my experience with that brand in general was that it's a cheap, readily available base for starting out, but there are wider and better quality options out there once you get away from chain craft stores. Working with this cloth was proof of that. It's stiffer than the Lineco stuff, which made it a little harder to glue down but not enough to cause problems, and it took HTV better than any other surface I've used it on. Here, check out the spines:

Images of the spines. In case the photos are a little blurry, that's Demolishing Proofs We Never Believed In on the left and The World and its Beautiful Particle Logic on the right. The titles gave me some worries. I didn't want to obscure more of the florals by putting them on the front, but was worried they wouldn't fit on the spines since they're so long. I got them on, but it took a lot of careful measurements. Still, though, I couldn't be more pleased by them, and I barely had any of my usual trouble getting the HTV to stick.

Handmade end bands on both sides, in colors matched to the cover paper. I was a little worried about making my own for this project since the text blocks are only about 100 pages each. I was worried they'd be too short. But they're not, and I got a really nice front bead on them. I wanted to do three colors but that proved too challenging for my current skill level. Maybe next time. The second image is the endpaper. Specifically it's the back endpaper, so you can see how the second spine fits into the case. When you read a dos-a-dos, you read the first part, then flip it over like you're going to read the back blurb and there's the second part ready to go. I only explain this because, having never made one, I thought you flipped it over top-to-bottom until I did the case fitting for this one. The top-to-bottom one it called a tete-beche and I think does not have the shared cover board in the center; the pages are connected upside-down. (This is all from my limited research; pro bookbinders please correct me if I'm wrong.)

Couple of interior images. All the graphics came from rawpixel and they are the same in both halves. I kept the typeset really simple on this one, without any extra graphics. Partly that was to keep the page count down (images can take up extra space) and partly it's a reflection of the text. It's a happily ever after story, mostly. Their lives are so much easier here than in canon, and the focus is on communicating without barriers or frills and on building their relationship without other things getting in the way. So it's got a fancy title page, because it matches the cover, but the rest is straightforward with just some simple swirls around the chapter numbers.

I couldn't be more pleased with how this turned out. I was worried it would be very complicated since it's a new-to-me build, but I was exaggerating the difficulty and that made for an easy bind. I hope the author likes it too.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #dos-a-dos #did i forget to tag something?#it feels like i forgot to tag something #oh well

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bridgertonbabe · 4 months

Note

I hope you can answer this question,

How would the family group chat pop off when Araminta suffers an unfortunate accident?

BSSG Group Chat

Michael: Hey @ Sophie Franny's just told me after Greg told her that Hy told him that Daph told her that El told her that Ben told her that Arabitcha's in hospital? Is it true? 👀

Gareth: please be true 🙏

Gareth: even if it's a sprained ankle or something weak like that

Simon: Yeah so long as she's suffering ✨✨✨

Phillip: Last El heard they're still at the hospital with Posy and Hugh

Lucy: omg she went to the hospital????

Kate: Only for moral support for Posy!

Kate: No way in hell would she be there otherwise.

Penelope: Yeah Ben wouldn't let her step one foot in that hospital if it wasn't for the purposes of being there for Posy.

Gareth: well maybe with ben being there her life support could be "accidentally" pulled out

Simon: Yeah or her LVAD wire being cut.

Gareth: the fuck's an lvad wire?

Simon: You've never watched Greys Anatomy?

Gareth: you watch greys anatomy?

Simon: Daph watches it and tells me all about it.

Michael: Oh really? Is that so?

Michael: Because I definitely seem to recall you having an in-depth discussion with Franny about the show.

Lucy: yeah I remember that!!!!!!

Simon: ...

Simon: Ok fine! Daph got me into it, I didn't want to like it, then I convinced myself I liked it ironically, but now I guess I have to accept that I actually like it unironically. You happy now?

Michael:

Gareth:

Penelope: 🤭

Kate: 😂😂😂

Simon: fuck off @ Gareth don't act like Hy doesn't make you sit and watch drag race with her

Gareth:

Phillip: If it's any consolation I willingly watch Love Island with El

Phillip: There's something so endlessly fascinating about good looking people having to actually make an effort with each other when they're all used to being the ones being pursued in the real world.

Kate: Hang on Eloise watches Love Island?!?!

Kate: I could have sworn she said she hates dating shows like that

Penelope: She very much does but it doesn't stop her from watching them obsessively

Phillip: I could lie and say she hate-watches them or even watches them unironically but deep down she loves them.

Penelope: Very much so

Penelope: But she will absolutely deny it if you bring it up so don't bother

Kate: Believe me I wouldn't dare raise any subject with Eloise that could result in her vehemently getting defensive for 10+ minutes

Phillip: That's fair

Michael: Well I watch Say Yes to the Dress - and I was the one who got Franny into it

Lucy:

Michael: Oh come on I don't mention it that often!

Phillip: Did you completely forget the time you invited us round for a boys night and made us watch back to back episodes of it and nothing else?

Simon: surely you must be aware that your love of Say Yes to the Dress is absolutely no secret whatsoever

Michael:

Sophie: Yeah you've sent me screenshots of dresses you think I might like if Ben and I were ever to renew our vows.

Kate: Same here! You even add suggestions for dresses for a vow renewal on the beach, in a rustic barn

Kate: Omg Sophie

Kate: What's happened?

Michael: What's Arabitcha in hospital for?

Gareth: please be something that inconveniences her the most 🙏

Penelope: yeah please let it be more than a sprained ankle 🤞

Simon: Wishing nothing but the worst for her 🙌

Sophie: Well

Sophie:

Lucy:

Phillip: Wa

Phillip: Wait fr?

Kate: Omfg are you serious

Michael: Say more now

Penelope: @ Sophie WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG TO CONFIRM OR DENY

Simon: CONFIRM OR DENY

Gareth: sophie please istg

Sophie: She's seriously actually dead for real fr.

Gareth: and to think i was worried it would be a sprained ankle at best

Gareth:

Michael: Holy shit

Lucy: how did it happen???

Sophie: I just want to state for the record that Ben didn't pull her life support plug or cut her LVAD wire.

Kate: That's a shame for Ben, he'd have loved to have been given the opportunity.

Gareth: hy too

Sophie: She was actually being her absolutely lovely self and having a go at some poor shop assistant demanding to speak to their manager or whatever and she literally dropped down dead mid-rant.

Penelope: omg

Gareth: she really went

Gareth:

Phillip: So she died the way she lived

Kate: Being a bitch right to the very end

Simon: What I'd give to have been there to witness that

Michael: Maybe if there's CCTV in the shop we can ask the owners if they could be so very kind to send us the footage

Penelope: Is Posy ok? Obvs she was a bitch to her too but is she feeling any sort of way about it?

Sophie: When we were told she did start to cry but then we realised her sobs were actually laughter and she was hysterically cackling with relief and she said "well thank fuck for that"

Phillip: Oh I was the same when my dad died

Simon: Same just minus the tears

Lucy: And how are you feeling about it all @ Sophie ?

Sophie: I don't know really

Sophie: I sort of don't feel anything?

Sophie: Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet, like I haven't properly processed the fact she's actually gone, but yeah right now I'm just of sort like eh, you know?

Michael: I think that's to be expected.

Phillip: She put you through shit and was nothing but awful to you but because of who you are you've naturally always been the bigger person and taken the high road, you haven't let her diminish your self worth and you've gone on to live a wonderful life that she could only dream of having. Whether you process her death and feel any type of way about it or still feel eh, you're always going to be better than her in every possible way; so don't you dare feel bad about yourself for feeling any sort of relief or joy from her passing.

Michael: 👏👏👏

Kate: Exactly what he said ↑

Simon: And like Phil said, don't you dare for a second feel guilty for celebrating her death

Penelope: And even if you want to be the bigger person and not celebrate, we'll all celebrate on your behalf don't you worry

Sophie: I really appreciate it guys 🤗💖💖💖

Sophie: And if you'd all like to go ahead and send your celebratory reaction gifs and memes please be my guest x

Penelope:

Simon:

Phillip:

Kate:

Gareth:

Michael:

Lucy:

Gareth:

Penelope:

Gareth: hy's ecstatic btw

Gareth: and is claiming full responsibility

Gareth sent a photo

Lucy: omg is that voodoo doll????????

Penelope: Why am I not even remotely surprised

Gareth: according to her she threw it down hard on the floor a few hours ago

Gareth: and now that she's dead naturally hy believes it's all down to her

Kate: Just so long as she doesn't start making dolls for every single person who wrongs her or anyone in the family. We don't want her getting any ideas.

Gareth: yeah tell that to the doll she made of my dad and is currently slamming against the wall 💀

#asks #group chat au #bridgerton spouses

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animereviewsbykyranskye · 8 months

Text

My current top 15 Anime and why

Because why the fuck not. I'm doing top 15 so that I have some variety behind it. Otherwise I would just be gushing non stop XD

Apparently numbers go big now - AND THEY GO SMALLER IF YOU TRY TO TYPE IN THE SAME LINE AS THEM???

comparison:

15 -

DA HECK????

(Edit: I was going to colour all the numbers because I wanted a rainbow. WHY THE FUCK FOR THEY CHANGE TO SMALL WHEN YOU COLOUR THEM??????)

Guess the titles of the anime get a small heading. Anyways. Onto the actual list!

Technoroid OVERMIND

Ayo. Starting out with a really random one. So if anyone were to look at my Anilist then they might be a bit confused. I decided I'd keep movies out of here as well as anything I haven't specifically finished. Also takt op. Destiny needs a re evaluation.

Anyways. This premise is so sick and I feel like they managed it really well. The characters were all really fun and the music was fantastic which is honestly the most important thing about Idol shows. I really like idol shows but often struggle with the stupid drama in them that just leads to seasons upon seasons that didn't need to happen or wouldn't actually happen.

In this they're just androids. The fantasy twist works so well for the genre and I honestly don't know why it isn't done more often. This way they can bullshit the drama and it actually makes sense.

Honestly my favourite character was Kite. He was great and his voice always gave me shivers. Especially his piece in the closing. Damn.

I don't want to go into full reviews with this, rather just gushing about things I like and stuff. I really don't think this got the recognition it deserves - probably because of it's deviation from the norm - but it would be cool to get some sort of sequel.

(Edit: There's a manga releasing apparently. Imma check that out.)

UniteUp!

Continuing on with the trend of idol animes apparently. UniteUp! was so good. As I mentioned in my Reviews while I watch of the show, it felt so grounded and real that other idol shows just don't seem to capture. These were all real people with real problems dealing with real life.

I also like how we had such a large cast of characters but it never really felt overwhelming as they focused on group dynamics and specific individuals rather than trying to cram every single person into their own arcs.

Once again the music was fantastic and by god was this show pretty gay. Honestly I don't know what the sentiments of others are, but the Anela duo definitely weren't straight and neither were Akira and Daiki. That bath scene says it all.

Anyways. If you want a fun time with a really solid idol anime, please check it out. I saw earlier that we're getting a season two soon. I am so looking forward to it.

Trigun Stampede

Damn! I don't even know what to really say about this one. The visuals are absolutely stunning - there is no doubt about that. The score and the characters are excellent. And how dare they leave us on that cliff hanger.

I have absolutely no history with this story and still need to watch and read the originally but I am really looking forward to seeing how the story adapts between the three.

You can ask my partner. I've already said we're watching everything trigun related as soon as we are done with our current show.

I'm really looking forward to season two. And especially seeing how this all pans out. Apparently there will be tears according to the fandom. Concern.

Re-main

Damn this show came out of nowhere for me. I watched it quite awhile ago and have been meaning to rewatch it again.

The premise is definitely a sports anime but honestly so different. All because of one thing. The fact that he is an amnesiac is such a fascinating concept to work with - especially with how he was before (trying not to spoil - can't remember when this comes up in the anime)

And then the ending?? Damn. They seriously set up that cliff hanger and I really hope this show gets a sequel.

I really can't say too much about it without giving away some spoilers but damn does it change up the formula and do it so fucking well.

Given

Given is great. Such a pure but heartbreaking portrayal of love on one side with such conflicting but also nurturing views on the other. Having the different realtionships throughout this is really well done how they all bounce off of each other. Especially when they entertwine it with the music.

As it is said. That is how they communicate - through the music.

I'm busy catching up with the manga and really hope the anime continues with it.

Also the fucking is just fucking gorgeous. It has no write to hit you that hard.

Also - something else that shouldn't be allowed to hit you that hard. Damn Mafuyu has had a difficult past. We love how he learns to heal and grow with Uenoyama at his side.

Anyways, moving on.

Bakuten!!

Okay. Who said a sports anime could be this pretty.

I love the art style and the music throughout all of this. I love the portayal and the evolution of these character - seriously all their arcs are great. The interactions of the team is so tangible and real.

I watch a lot of sports anime and I often struggle with some of the drama used within the sports - it feels like the only thing that ever fuels the story is the matches. Whereas in Bakuten - the character seriously fuel the story. You can understand their motivations much more than just - I want to play this sport and be the best!

I also feel like they really captured everything really well in the movie. The whole concept of wanting to sore is great and really well executed.

I also love the interactions they have with the other team. It's not just a once off competition or practice match that they face each other. We actually get tangible characters for the whole team and see how much they two teams are similar to one another. It's a very healthy rivalry that isn't normally this expanded on in sports anime.

Sasaki and Miyano

Yesssssss. These two are just absolutely amazing. Their whole story arc and relationship is just tooth rottingly sweet. They bounce off of each other so well.

And I love the fact of how slow the actual story is. They meet at the start of Miyanos first year (from what I know - I still need to read the novels) and sasaki's second and they only end up confessing just before graduation happens. It really plays out well and is so healthy.

There is no problematic elements like in so many BL stories which is such a breath of fresh air. And the fact that sasaki is very specific about making sure to maintain boundaries to ensure that miyano is comfortable is also excellent.

On a slightly different note - I still need to see the Hirano and Kagiura movie. Been dying to watch it. I've been keeping up to date with both manga and both of these stories are amazing. I love the dichotomy of the two stories and how they are coming to their own realisations of their feelings in honestly very different ways.

I also recently watched the dub of the anime due to some videos on tiktok. Fucking hell it is absolutely hilarious. Kellen Goff as Sasaki has no reason for being that good. Seriously. Damn.

Link Click

On a completely different note. Damn this one makes you questions your own morals and reality as you know it.

I really don't want to get into this one much as I do believe watching it blind is the best way to go.

The art style is fantastic and that opening hits like a truck it is so good. The characters just click (pun not intended) and you just understand their motivations and don't know which side to side with most of the time. It brings about such high moral dilemmas that will seriously mess with your brain sometimes and there is one episode that will likely make you cry.

Anyways. Season 2 has just started airing and I am so ready for it.

Buddy Daddies

Why did a show about two queer platonic dudes who adopt a child while beings assassins hit so damn hard.

The show jumps between episodes with backstory and episodes with them just being good dads and it is balanced so well. This anime won't end up getting a sequel most likely with how it ended but damn I wouldn't say no to one.

Rei is my favourite character and I relate to him far too much. His interactions with the world are so fascinating and his whole arc with Miri is honestly some of the best media I've seen.

I absolutely loved watching this show weekly and it always brightened up my day when I realised a new episode would be up.

If you would like further thoughts on this one then check the Reviews while I watch on it for more chaos.

No Game No Life

So. This was the first ever anime that I ever watched. It was a random recomendation from a friend. Look at where we are today.

This show is honestly just so fun. The characters are silly and the whole plot is just absolute chaos. I really enjoy the games aspect and how it was all incorporated into the world.

I can't even really say much about it. It is just a guilty pleasure of mine and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Also. Please can it just get a second season already.

Assassination Classroom

So. Unlike everything else on the list - this one I only finished really recently. My partner and I were watching it together. And to put it out there straight away. I cried. That ending was far too emotional.

I really enjoyed the humour throughout the whole thing as well as the constant underlying dread of the whole situation.

They also really played out Koro-senseis backstory really well. The teasing to it was excellent. I must say though that one of the twists seriously came out of left field. Like damn.

I've just recently bought the boxset and am reading through the manga. Once again. It's absolutely amazing.

Also the openings of them all jumping are absolutely fucking hilarious and you can't tell me otherwise.

If you want to know what officially sold me on the show was just in the first episode. (Note we watched in dub)

Don't ask me why but I found this to be the most hilarious thing ever. The absurdity and the line delivery was magnificent. I annoy my partner by quoting it atleast once a day.

Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan

Speaking of comedies. This show has no right to be this good. The absudist dead pan comedy in the middle of whats meant to be a TV show is such a random premise but just works so well.

Due to the nature of the show, the characters are extremely relateable. I especially love Kumatani and Kikaku.

If your on the same side of anime tiktok that I am then you have definitely seen/heard snippets of the dub.

I think this was the first anime that I originally watched in sub and then tried it in dub and actually enjoyed it. (I often find that whatever I originally watched it in is the only one I can watch it in - it's very difficult for me to change it)

The voice acting on both sides just works perfectly for the show. And that final episode and how they did it was the best thing ever.

Please just give it a try.

Angel Beats

Okay. Time for a hard hitter. This comedy like assassintaion classroom is fucking excellent but will make you cry, like damn.

In complete and utter contrast to No game no life, this was the second anime I had ever watched. I had found a video that gave some suggestions and thought I would give this one a try. When I say it destoryed me, I mean it literally. I constantly think about the end of this and I absolutely love revisiting it.

The twist and turns along the way are fascinating and I love how each one alters the characters and the narrative. Each of the characters feel unique - even the lesser developed side characters - with fascinating and complex backstories.

The whole thing just makes you question your own place in life.

Moriarty the Patriot

Another one I just randomly tried because I saw a video on tiktok. The first episode immediately pulled me in. I thought it was just going to be some simple detective story (At the time I didn't know much about Sherlock Holmes and who Moriaty was so I didn't have any of that to guide me into this story.) But nope.

I keep saying this but in this one I really mean it. The characters are built so well. The dichotomy between William and Sherlock - as the fandom would probably agree - is just amazing. How they bounce off of each other - i don't even know how to really descirbe it.

Honestly just go watch it.

And if you enjoyed the anime - please go check out the manga too. If the anime was done well - then the manga is done to lamost perfection.

This show was what got me into reading and then eventually buying manga. I now have every single one that is out.

Yuri!!! on ICE

Did I make the title gay? Yes.

Okayyyyy. This is just going to be me going on about how much I love this show. Bare with me.

So I was in an anime watching slump just before I picked up this show. I had been seeing some videos popping up talking about it and decided to give it a try (this was in 2020)

I immediately fell in love with this show. Literally everything about it. I ended up rewatching it three times over the course of a week. It got to a point where I was so upset that there wasn't more content for it that I just cried for half a day. (Ask my partner - it was chaos)

This show is the reason I now read fanfiction - all because I found a way to technically have more content for it.

This show holds such an important place in my heart that I sincerely cannot express it properly.

If you've never watched it - go give it a try. It would mean a lot - and hopefully one day we might get a season two.

----

Thanks for reading, if you managed to get to this point. I find it interesting how my explanations managed to slowly get shorter throughout the list as I just started becoming more emotional than factual.

I hope you enjoyed it and maybe grabbed a recommendation or two. If you'd like to know more or hear me ramble on more about anything in particular then please let me know.

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