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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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Deena Mohamed’s ‘Shubiek Lubiek’

Shubeik Lubeik, a trilogy of graphic novels by Deena Mohamed, took the Arab comics world by storm, winning Best Graphic Novel and Grand Prize at the Cairo Comix Festival; today, Pantheon Books releases a gorgeous hardcover omnibus English translation:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/606934/shubeik-lubeik-by-deena-mohamed/

The world of Shubeik Lubeik is an intricate alternate history in which wishes are real, and must be refined from a kind of raw wish-stuff that has to be dug out of the earth.

Naturally, this has been an important element of geopolitics and colonization, especially since the wish-stuff is concentrated in the global south, particularly Egypt, the setting for our tale.

Though the underlying wish mechanism is metaphysical, Mohamed plays out her worldbuilding in a very science fictional way, constructing an intricate — and skillfully deployed — set of social consequences for a world where wishes are a fact of life.

Indeed, it’s this science fictional trick of “in-clueing” (to use Jo Walton’s excellent critical term) that makes Shubiek Lubeik such a cracking, cross-cultural read:

https://www.tor.com/2010/01/18/sf-reading-protocols/

For though the three stories that make up the trilogy are intensely culturally situated in modern Egypt, they play out as universal, intricate human ethical dilemmas. Mohamed delivers the realistic — but unfamiliar to westerners — depiction of contemporary Egyptian life with the same smart, deft technique that she uses to paint in the rules of a world where wishes are real.

The framing device for the trilogy is the tale of three “first class” wishes: these are the most powerful wishes that civilians are allowed to use, the kind of thing you might use to cure cancer or reverse a crop-failure.

These first-class wishes are the near-exclusive purview of the rich and powerful and their use is tightly monitored and licensed. However, three of these wishes, of Italian origin, are, improbably, in the inventory of Shokry, a poor, pious kiosk owner in central Cairo.

Despite knock-down prices, no one wants to buy Shokry’s wishes. Potential customers are put off by his desperate, hand-lettered sign advertising the wishes, combined with the implausibility of first-class wishes being offered for sale in a humble koisk.

But one of Shokry’s regulars, a fiery old lady who buys her cigarettes from him each day, convinces him to let her nephew design a slick poster advertising the wishes, and the tale begins in earnest.

Every story of a wish is both a puzzle — how would you construct a wish so that it couldn’t possibly backfire — and an ethical conundrum. That is what makes wish stories so delicious to read, whether it’s Sheherezade’s tales or O. Henry.

The engine of wish-fulfillment is a powerful one, capable of hauling behind it almost any kind of tale. Mohamed’s three-act play blends class- and sectarian divides, gender relations, depression and resilience, and kindness and regret.

The first volume, Aziza, is about corruption, using a parable about elite wish-hoarding to tell a wrenching story about loss, love, hope and resilience. It’s a gorgeous, deeply romantic love story, and because it’s a wish story, there’s a devilish twist.

The second volume, Nour, is about depression, privilege, coping, and gender (and, like Aziza, it’s ultimately about resilience, too). There’s some delicious worldbuilding here, and Nour herself is a great character, whose depression is mapped in a series of comedy charts worthy of Randall Munroe.

The conclusion, Shorky, opens the world up, showing us how wishes interact with theology, colonialism, the antiquities trade, and sectarian Egyptian politics. All three stories have wish-style surprises, but the surprises in this one are jaw-dropping. And while all the stories have a lot of broad comedy and great characterization, this one introduces a sprawling cast that is choreographed with absolute mastery.

It’s easy to see why this book did so well in the Arab world. It’s incredibly exciting to see it in English. Many of us have experienced Japanese comics, of course, and if you follow the brilliant publishing program of First Second, you’ve gotten some great French and Spanish comics. But this is the first graphic novel from the Arab world that I’ve had the pleasure of reading. It won’t be the last.

[Image ID: The cover for the Pantheon English translation of Deena Mohamed's 'Shubeik Lubeik.']

#comics #arabic #books #egypt #colonialism #fantasy #science fiction #worldbuilding #allegory #gift guide #reviews

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deadscoutz · 1 year

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Ye olde list of my dankest oldest yaoi

I made a meme template for my fella. You can see how he filled his out on his blog. You should do this too! Just save the image and repost it with your ships, no credit necessary.

10 years ago can also be 10+ years ago, just any ol' fashioned classic yaoiyuri.

My ye olde ships:

Slade/Robin (now Nightwing/Slade lol)

Kefka/Terra (ff6)

everyone including random monsters/Vincent Valentine (ff7)

Harvey Dent/Joker (dark knight movie)

Riddler/Scarecrow (batman comix)

Kaiba/Yami Yugi (ygo)

Malik/Yami Bakura (ygo)

Sniper/Spy (tf2 /neg)

Superman/Batman (capeshit)

Deadpool/Cable (capeshit)

These don't include some of the obvious ones that I'm still drawing to this day LOL like Scout/Spy or Goblin yaoi.

Warning for LONG ASS rambling about each ship under the cut.

The common thread is that 86% of these were memes posted to 4chan's /co/ board. When I WAS. A YOUNG MAN. I just liked whatever I saw other people posted cuz i couldn't form my own opinions yet. I think that's just a general age thing, as you get older you hone your personal tastes more, whether it's books or yuri or food, and it's less satisfying to wait around at the buffet for other people's tastes.

It's a lil interesting how much easier it was to just let other people feed me things to enjoy. Now that I'm older and pickier, I have to proactively seek very specific tastes and sometimes make dishes for myself!

Some thoughts on thots:

Slade/Robin: This is like, baby's first "dark ship". Lots of 8 yr olds saw the Apprentice episode, and pogged out cuz of the evil groomy tension. Then you get all the 8 yr olds posting their dark yaoi on deviantart LMAO.

The default back then (And still now?) is evil daddy dom Slade making poor widdle babby Robin cry. I didn't have particular tastes back then in regards to that ship cuz I was 8 and just followed what was popular LOL. In [current year], I only like the pairing if Slade gets his anus slapped and slorped by the dude he tried to groom. What can I say, I get older and the old gnarsty dudes keep getting older too...!

Also, I'm really shocked that new people are getting into this pairing because of Teen Titans Go's chibi Robin. It's time to bring chad manlet Dick to public consciousness!!!

Kefka/Terra: 👴 Back in my day, I did not see any FF6 shippy stuff on the internet at all. The doujins and fanart were mostly for the FF7 and above 3d games. So this was something I thought up for myself while playing the game, without any outside influence... incredible for a kid I must say! The dynamic is "evil clown grooms psychic girl into a MAGITEK WEAPON". It's really funny how things change, I wouldn't find interest in that dynamic now :p But I understand why a depressed edgy 10 year old (me) would find that interesting to explore.

Everyone/Vincent Valentine: I just thought Vincent was cute! I still like goth dudes who look like ladies with long hair (Who also turn into monsters). I tried to get into ships proper for Vincent, like Sephiroth/Vincent, Cloud/Vincent, Cid/Vincent.. but none of them really struck my fancy. I didn't really care for their character dynamics. I just liked Vincent LOL. So my favorite doujin I found when I was a wee lad was a monster x Vincent manga, cuz Vincent was cute :3c That segues into the other side of the fujo spectrum: A lot of my fannish thoughts when I was a kid (and even now) was based on having one favorite character and just wanting to see them look awesome and hot and cool and sexy. I think that's actually more related to gay manga culture than fujoshi culture, where gay manga can commonly just focus on one guy getting gangbanged with no emotional pairing necessary.

I could live with just seeing sexy Green Goblin and never shipping him with anyone else, ya know? And I'd be happy just drawing my sexy Senspai without any annoying Scunts around. The annoying younger halves of my pairings are often just projection opportunities, ya know? But I don't have the mental ability to do self-inserts because I have no conception of self.

Harvey Dent/Joker: Hey, when you're a kid and the new Batman movie comes out, you get sucked into it! You can see this in action with all the new Riddler fans cuz of the edward cullen batman movie! Nurse Joker was a huge meme on /co/ when this movie came out, and as the joke says.. /co/ is gay. And probably full of closet fujos. I had no emotional connection to this pairing, or even thoughts on their interactions, but I have quite a bit saved of these two on my computer. Plus I stole a lot of Aaron Eckhart's Harvey for my character Angus. Blonde and buttchin!

Riddler/Scarecrow: Again with the new Batman movie at the time, this time reviving interest in characters that weren't even in the movie! I liked Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow even though he only gets 5 minutes total of screentime in all 3 Nolan movies combined. Because I like girly men with killer cheekbones and kissy lips. I also REALLY enjoyed Jeffrey Comb's voiceover for BTAS Scarecrow. And Frank Gorshin Riddler was also a beloved meme on /co/.

I don't remember what the dynamic even was between these two. I just remember a small imageboard split off from /co/ for just Batman yaoi at the time, and this being a popular ship. Sometimes I wish it could be this easy for me to get into media and enjoy it with random strangers again LOL.

Kaiba/Yami Yugi: I loved Yugioh as a kid. This was one of the most popular ships, so as a kid you're just ecstatic that so much art and writing and fans existed for this one thing. You never starve, even if you don't have especially strong feelings for the food! Kaiba/Yami is still pretty cool to my adult brain though. I love the obsessiveness of Kaiba, and Yami is just an eternal waifu.

Malik/Yami Bakura: You can blame the abridged series for this one! Yaoi bait begets yaoi bait. This falls under the "dumbass x grumpy" archetype that I still enjoy. No especially strong feelings for this one, though I do have more modern headcanons of Malik, Rishid, and Bakura living together in a strange poly-angle. It's just cute!

Sniper/Spy: Ah, TF2chan.. a place where dreams live and die. Sniper, Spy, and Scout were part of the cursed twink trio on that chan. REAL MEN liked MANLY ships like Heavy/Medic, Demo/Soldier, or Soldier/Engie. You're a gay stupid yaoi fangirl if you liked any combination of Sniper/Spy!!! Jokes on them, I liked pretty much every pairing for TF2 back in Tha Day.

TF2 truly was a milestone in the fujo pipeline, from anime twinks to middle-aged slightly more naturalistic twinks to finally burly hyper testosterated manly men. We can blame the SSS twink trio for helping many transition (And I mean that in every way of the word 😜).

I think now I'm just sick of anything TF2. Reminds me too much of assholes and shitfucks! The transition of TF2 from edgy gamer chan culture, to tumblrites, to twitter geeks... eugh. I only care about fearless Scout/Spy allies :)

Superman/Batman: Hey, it's the NaruSasu of superhero ships! I have a lot of these two saved on my hard drive from my /co/ days. Once again, because gay art of these two was posted constantly as a meme. When the "straight dudes" on the edgy imageboard acknowledge the inherent homoeroticism of a pairing, it's validated in the young fujo's eyes. (cuz what girls like is stinky? and what men like is cool and real? lol lots to unpack) Still think this one is cute! I'm not AS invested in this as some people are as an endgame OTP that gets married and love each other ONLY, but it falls under the genki x grumpy archetype that I enjoy. It's a good relationship for Bruce to have and ruin!

Deadpool/Cable: Ah, the final channer-approved pairing. Complete with channer-approved fanart and pornography I still have on my hard drive! I might actually have the most art of them together saved out of all these ships...They had a comic together called Cable and Deadpool. Deadpool flirts with Cable and dreams about putting lotion on Cable's bare back (heh). What's not to like? Still cute, still genki x grumpy! Again, not an invested endgame ship for me right now, but certainly something I'm grateful to have enjoyed and shared with Shane :) Especially having enjoyed this before the Deadpool movie came out, and before all the weird fucked up Waid comics! I WAS HERE FIRST!!!!!!

#shipping #text #hella long posts

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claycomix · 1 year

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depression comix #505

505

This one got posted on January 8. I’ve been feeling quite down recently, so it’s been easy for me to channel this into depcoms which are basically just explanations of how I feel. The bipolar character hasn’t appeared for a while so it was time to being her back. Also how easy it is to forget you need treatment just because the depression doesn’t affect you at that particular moment. It was good to do a comic that was just came out and expressed something that people could relate to.

View Original Post: https://wp.me/p3KYMB-sQg

#depression comix

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ohmygoles · 3 years

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Dino Tin coming your way to RAH RAH RAH your negative thoughts away! Our negative thinking can sometimes be super loud and nasty and it makes it hard for us to not identify with them. But know that you are not your thoughts and that you're an amazing human being! You are more than enough! I hope everyone is having a great day!

disclaimer: although the girl's appearance is based off of a friend of mine, the character used is completely fictional and doesn't reflect any specific individual's real life issues

Also a lil exciting thing coming your way soon :D

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whatisanolive · 4 years

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Ignorance at its best.

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robospunkcomics · 6 years

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Yoga For your health If you’d like to support the comic, check out my merch

#comics #comix #webcomics #robospunk #funny #lol #yoga #health #fitness #depression #macabre #relatable #nihilism

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justpeachycomic · 7 years

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Error 404: motivation not found . . . #depression #relateable #unmotivated #funnycomic #depressionsucks #webcomic #uninspired #bleh #ughhhhh #procrastinationatitsfinest #comix #digitalartist #funnystuff #heartwarming (at Los Angeles, California)

#comix #webcomic #digitalartist #uninspired #funnystuff #funnycomic #ughhhhh #depressionsucks #relateable #depression #heartwarming #bleh #unmotivated #procrastinationatitsfinest

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wearingmybigcoat · 6 years

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i got 99 worries and at least 10 more

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ibtk · 3 years

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Book Review: QUARANTINE COMIX by Rachael Smith (2021)

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through Edelweiss.) Whereas some of us adopted a dog or a cat (or a new sourdough starter!), binge-watched every damn thing on Netflix while fusing with our couches, or got really into nature and hiking, artist Rachael Smith decided to bring meaning to her year+ in quarantine by journaling her everyday experiences in comic form. Though the webcomic is still ongoing, much like the coronavirus - just search for #QuarantineComix on twitter - QUARANTINE COMIX: A MEMOIR OF LIFE IN LOCKDOWN gathers the strips from 2020.

The result is bittersweet, funny yet also depressing. The synopsis promises "relief in shared experiences," and this is certainly true: there's a lot to relate to here. Whether it's wearing your sleep clothes all day; suddenly having all the time in the world to conquer your TBR pile, but zero mental energy to do it; or missing even the most mundane social contact, none of us are alone in feeling this way. Even this introvert, who had an easier time with social distancing than most, is starting to lose her shit. My favorite scenes involve Rufus, Rachael's precocious kitty, as well as the scenes of quietly desperate domesticity.

Smith uses two imaginary dogs, Barky and Friendly, to embody her depression/pessimism and common sense/optimism, respectively; I wish we could've seen more of them. I'm no stranger to anxiety and depression, and the extended isolation has certainly complicated things - for me, and for many others. Smith lives in the UK - and, while she does briefly reference some of the bonkers lockdown rules across the pond, QUARANTINE COMIX is mostly absent the politicization of public safety measures that we've seen here in the US. Consequently, the collection definitely felt incomplete to me, even if I understand the why of it.

Another quibble: Smith and her bestie Heather - who inspired #QuarantineComix - are really difficult to differentiate, at least in the black and white drawings (Smith has brown hair, while Heather is a blonde, but sans color they look pretty much the same). I was super confused until I figured this out. If you're not entirely burnt out on pandemic-related content - and I wouldn't blame you if you were! - QUARANTINE COMIX is somewhat cathartic read. Enjoy it with an oversized glass of wine and THAT '70S SHOW blaring in the background (inside joke!).

#books #reviews #book reviews #comics #quarantine comix #Rachael Smith #covid-19 #coronavirus #humor #lockdown #quarantine

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depressioncomix · 6 years

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Hi. I recently followed after seeing your depression comix 403, 404, and 405. I could highly relate to each one, but could never express it much the way you've done and decided to follow you. I'm upset to see some of the responses people have with regard to how you've answered them. I agree with what you've said. Also, many people seem to not accept what's said to them at face value and feel that there's some kind of hidden message. Thank you for your work and what you've done!

TO be honest, I don’t think it’s “many” people although it’s “many” asks. I haven’t seen many people unfollow me and I know if I did something truly wrong I would see a drop. This kind of drama happens like once or twice a year here and it usually ends with people using the anonymous ask to try to get a reaction out of me until they don’t get the reaction they want and then disappear. I’m sorry to put everyone through this, I’m absolutely sure no one wants to read me responding to these again and again. Unfortunately public responses are the only way to respond to the anonymous ask. Thank you for the kind words and don’t worry, this will be over soon.

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bigloquatthoughts · 3 years

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Thoughts While I Watch The Nintendo Direct A Day Late

Thoughts on the Nintendo Direct: Yoko Toro is an interesting person, that card game looks interesting but Y wouldn’t I just play Talisman? Cool to see more isometric RPGS on switch.

Hyrule Warriors is fun! Age of Calamity is where I really fell in love with the musou formula again - I played a LOT of DW Empires 5, so taking over a map / doing stuff on a map before combat is fun. The silly weapons like the broom etc also make this really fun. I’ll gladly play more of this. the new scientist warrior looks sick! Who asked for Chocobo GP? This looks like Garfield Racing re-skinned and with better physics maybe. When they said Chocoboooooo! I was hoping for a Chocobo’s Dungeon. My buddy Ted got that game with his PS1 and we though it was soooo cool, especially after playing Azure Dreams on Gameboy.

Thanks for telling us when we can see the new Smash Fighter which is probably more Sword boy / Sword gorl why won’t you put any interesting fighters in this game I am moving to Smash Bros CatDog Edition. Kirby washing up on an island is the most unlikely thing for a being who summons giant warp stars to fly through the universe on but okay. this looks INCREDIBLE. Kirby + Nier vibes with the busted up environment. what bums me out is that we saw the same enemy like, 10 times in the first 10 seconds of that one area. The giant snakes / fish are cool, but lets see some more variation maybe 3D Kirby boss fights look pretty freaking fun! 3D Kirby looks pretty great. It will suffer from Kirby things and also be fun. I will play it.

Hey, don’t worry. We’ll tell you some things about Animal Crossing in October. Not now - but in October. U will have content in November. Just hold on pls, be on the lookout for all ur rotten turnips in ur house

Lets move on, to more stuff second free update for Mario golf, which I would LOVE to play but can’t afford rn. I played it at my neighbors the other day and it’s pretty damn good. new courses and seeing little ninji run around will be very fun. Cool, kid Disney game. Dope. Old Republic for Switch looks great! Dying Light 2: Mirrors Edge edition. Oh, we can play with other people? That seems fun. Do we scavenge together? The Control cloud game demo felt okay on my wifi, but IDK about these cloud games as something worth getting on the switch when PC’s are a thing?

Triangle strategy looks dumb, Disgea does that shit better now right? Metroid Dread looks really cool, excited to run from big robot and make Samus Very Strong Hopefully u get to crawl around as big robot at some point in the game. Love the lore dump we get. Dude, Chozo were here! That’s sick!

Many people have been using switch online… Oh, giving out their old roms gathering dust for “free,” with their current sub was too generous for Nintendo I suppose. New plan for N64 games seem sick - the playing together online thing is very cool. Starting library is standard but nothing too exciting. Very excited to see how the emulation handles these games in relation to how they behaved on the console, as all the cool sped running shit we see in these sorts of older games vary depending on the version of the game.

I’m more excited about the Genesis line up than I am about the N64 one, save those two games I don’t recognize. We get Castlevania, a Contra, some puyo, Beatem ups, and playing this version of Gunstar Heroes might sell more of the other one. Expansion Pack is a name.

Notice how Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon and Comix Zone are not on these lists? They are too afraid to give us the best of what both platforms have to offer and it’s a shame.

WIRELESS CONTROLLERS FOR $60 EACH? ARE THEY BLUETOOTH SO I CAN USE THEM WITH OTHER STUFF? WTF

I was just talking to my friends about the Shadowrun Isometric RPGs last night! Cool. Castlevania collection looks dope. Button mapping is huuuuge for me. Love that. An Almighty Classic Returns: Actraiser - even the SNES game was hella off my radar, this looks dope. I’m down to side scroll and then town build. Deltarune + Homestuck are games that I really really want to play but my depression is such that I just sit and stare at the starting screen and nothing happens. One day I will consume Toby’s works and be better for it. But until then, I’ll just be excited for my friends and listen to the baller soundtrack. god dammit I love that dog.

new story of seasons looks cool but Natsume is dead, no hope left cept for Stardew #doomer NAMCO Hamster - yes. Rune Factory 5 might be good on the switch. The 3DS versions were sooooo sloooowwwww for me. I’ve heard really good things about the franchise as a whole though. MARIO movie thoughts: THIS CASTING IS GREAT EXCEPT FOR CHRIS PRATT WTF. WHY IS HIMBO WHO HATES GAYS MY MARIO?

CHARLIE DAY AS LUIGI WAS WRITTEN IN THE FUCKING STARS EXCEPT HIS SHORTER THAN FUCKIN CHRIS PRATT, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU MESS THIS UP. CHARLIE DAY AS MARIO AND CHRIS PRATT AS LUIGI BECAUSE HE BUSTS GHOSTS WHICH IS SUPER THEOLOGICAL ANYWAY GOD DAMN DUDE. THIS ISN’T THAT HARD.

KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY AS FUCKIN TOAD MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THAT.

JACK BLACK AS BOWSER - WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER MARIO BUT ANYTHING THIS MAN TOUCHES IS GOLD.

Movie is saved by Seth Rogan, I bet you 1 full bitcoin that DK saves this fuckin movie.

FRED ARMISEN AS CRANKY KONG IS ACTUALLY PERFECT. He is a real life hipster Cranky Kong and I love it. Dude playing Kamek looks familiar? Who is that

After seeing Wreck it Ralph, doesn’t Mario sound more like a Kenneth the Page than a Starlord? IDK man. Boomers are weird. Splatoon 3 looks cool, bummer it’s still 4v4 but whatever. the story mode for 1 and 2 were great aside from the difficulty spikes. stoked.

THE WAY THAT BAYONETTA IS REVEALED IS ONE PUNCH MAN TIER COMEDY.

Also, ya’ll spoiled it for us with the capcom font.

WAIT A GLOVED HAND PUNCHED, NOT A DEMON HAND? YOOOOO MOMMYYYYYYY THIS HAIR.

YOOO BUTTERFLY SHIT HELL YEAH

THERE IS MY BIG HAIR DEMON YES OH SHIT WE GET TO MEGA ZORD FIGHT WITH OUR DEMON?! THIS IS FUCKIN SICK

OH DIFFERENT DEMONS TO FIGHT WITH THIS IS SICK. THIS IS HOW I WANT POKEMON TO PLAY. 100% NOT JOKING. BAYONETTA: GODZILLA EDITION

HOLY SHIT THAT IS TIGHT

UHHHH IS DANTE GONNA BE IN THIS

WHO IS THAT BOI WITH THE SWORD

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alright. There have been better directs, Christmas line up is looking p weak so far. Hopefully they can give us some bangers for holiday.

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terryblycute · 3 years

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2020

overall this year was bad. bad, just like any other, how its always been, so nothing special. im writing this because my memory is getting worse and worse, and im sick of not remembering

corona lowkey annoying cuz i couldnt visit my friends on new years eve, but other than that everythings the same. on a positive note i didnt have to work as much either, and on a negative note i didnt get as much money. but thats alright.

((rude, unempathetic rant incoming. i know what im about to say is stupid but its my feelings and i want to talk about it regardless. if anyones reading, skip this)) what HAS been bothering me the most about corona is all the „2020 bad“ memes and people legitimately complaining about it. cuz like... nothing has changed. every year is horrible. it always has been. every year innocent people die, and nobody can do anything about it. of course i feel horrible for the people who lost their income/housing or family members because of it, and they have all the rights to complain... but lets be honest. none of the people i talk to were affected in any way by it. and the majority of people i hear talking about it havent lost their family/friends or homes to it either. its just a mild inconvenience to them, not being able to party without being arrested or seeing their friends or some shit. boo hoo, im alone all the time and never see any of my friends either and at this point im completely love & touch starvated regardless of corona. get over it

so... corona things out of the way, ive started thinking about my mental illnesses & trauma... A LOT. ive never thought about it all that much, because critical thinking is not something im able to do, usually. ive been reading lots of comix of people talking about/depicting mental illness, so i guess that kind of inspired and changed something in me, if i like it or not.

well, it turns out there is a shitton to unpack. i mean, ive always known there is so much wrong with me... but i was never really aware, if that makes sense. im still in the dark about most things, but its all coming together, little by little. i dont want to put my finger on anything, because im dumb, but at this point im 100% sure autism/aspergers isnt the only thing i got. far from it, in fact.

ive also learned that a lot of things in my life have left me with genuine, significant trauma, which ive never really realized before. i just thought the way i react to some things is cuz im, yknow... a whiny bitch. to name a few things:

me getting defensive/snappy when people of „authority“ (family, caretakers, doctors) ask me if im tired, how late i went to bed etc bc it is indirectly tied to why i was forced into psychiatry & the abuse i had to suffer there

fight or flight response activating when people talk about being in support of outdoor cats (i dont even want to fucking elaborate. tl;dr: my cat was almost killed by outdoor cat people and would be dead now if i hadnt gotten my shit together and worked hard on getting my own apartment, where he is safe. ive recieved no support & only been demonized during this time). this is a genuine fucking trigger

my rocky relationship with my mother and my thoughts about her, who is a genuinely good person, but managed to fuck me over, rip my entire ass apart and ruin my life regardless. also her lowkey restrictive/controlling upbringing stunting me for life

my huge, life-impairing abandonment issues. i dont even know where they come from, all i ever experienced were regular breakups & rejections with no hard feelings that just hit me especially hard for no reason i guess

how i cannot bear to be alone in a discord voice channel waiting for people to join & my stunted ability to talk to people when im alone with them (i got actively excluded by my best friends for being suicidal & a downer, they created a discord voice channel i couldnt see & didnt have access to for them to be without me, all while i was waiting all day long alone in our regular channel for someone to join me, in the same server)

relatedly, my inability to talk about my problems & mental illnesses with them. is also related to the cat incident

also my inability to show affection ever since my best friend stopped telling me „i love ya“

nothing else i can think of rn

i also realized that something is fundamentally, objectively wrong with me. i cant really talk about it... but the actions of one of my friends made it clear to me. it was proof that, somehow, im imbued with the horrifying essence of some eldritch lovecraftian horror being, repulsing everyone without them even realizing, unable of being loved. and its just... this knowledge, its too heavy to bear, for a single human being. i dont know what to do. i will have to live with this for the rest of my life - and i cant do anything about it.

ive also reconnected with an old friend over animal crossing, who introduced me to some other old friends (they were more like aquaintances back then, really), and in one of them ive found a friend for life, pretty much. but theyre all great, really.... i seriously appreciate that. they took my mind off my other best friend, whos been kind of ignoring my needs, resulting in me having panic attacks every day.

also, im making more of an effort to talk to & reply to the people i care about, cuz i have this friend who would chat me up every now and then, without me ever messaging him, just for me to ignore him for a couple hours cuz im too tired/busy/whatever... so at one point i was like „wait, what am i doing? hes one of the few friends who actually makes an effort, and i really care about this bitch!!“, so i went ahead and got my shit together, as best as i can at least (depressions still a bitch but im trying)

one last thing i wanna talk about... my view on life. this is gonna be huge, i think. big trigger warning for suicide stuff & other negative shit

im suicidal. always have been. thats not a secret, everyone who knows how to read between the lines (i cant, but most people do) can see that. sometimes you dont even have to, cuz im telling you outright. i usually dont talk about this openly though, not to my friends at least, cuz people only put up with suicidals for so long, and i cant afford to lose anyone else... ahem. anyways, something changed in the way i see suicide. when i was younger, i wanted to die because the pain i had to bear was just too great. there was no hope. and its still true - the pain is unbearable. i am in pain every waking moment. i have been for almost 11 years now. there is no joy, there is no happiness, there is only distraction.

however, thats not the reason i wanna die anymore. i think think that if i put in effort, i think i could be... not in pain, all the time anymore. but, heres the thing: i dont want to. im too tired, im too broken. i dont want to change, and i dont want anyone else to change. now i just want to die, for the sake of it. because i love death, with all of my heart. i think death is the best thing that could happen, to anyone. i 100% believe death is the only thing that will save you, ever. i am not exaggerating when i say „i love death“. and to live, without having the means to safely & efficiently kill myself... its destroying me. i get panic attacks every week thinking about it. what if someone else leaves me? im not gonna take it anymore, i refuse to. i refuse to keep suffering, but to end my suffering once and for all i have to die. i really, truly hate living... it just really isnt for me. and thats okay, im fine with it, im fine with dying - its what i want, its my choice, its my destiny - and i love this destiny. i wouldnt want it any other way - to kill myself, or be killed, thats how i want to go. i just need someone to help me. idk where im going with this, so lets move onto my next point:

my worldview. so.. im not sure when this all started. was it 2020? or 2019? maybe it started to dawn on me even earlier, i dont really know, but its been really intense in 2020. the way i view the world & life has changed drastically (or rather, formed, ive never really thought about it that much before). my mom has made it clear to me that you could be a genuinely good, loving person... and still fuck up your kid for life. and this is why i came to the conclusion that good parents, who dont fuck up their children irreversibly... they dont exist. the moment youre born into this world, youre doomed. there is no one who doesnt suffer, there is no one who doesnt want to die - and if they tell you they dont, they either just dont know yet or are in denial. if there is ANY chance of someone growing up to suffer just like i do - it is not worth it. irresponsible, even - to bring a kid into this world. and, the way the world is, and continues to be, there will never be the chance for someone to never suffer like me. which is why i dont think children should be born into this world, ever. and it fucks with me - it fucks with me so bad.

...happy mew year, everynyan

#long post #suicide tw #negative #corona tw #idk what to tag #2020

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tvguts · 6 years

Photo

yeah i don’t think my relatable depression comix are gonna make it onto buzzfeed anytime soon

#irrelevance #negative???#i mean shit it's basically a vent/journal post in shitty comic form

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claycomix · 1 year

Photo

depression comix #504

504

It’s been a while since we have seen Dove and she is busy trying to create. I know I drew this and it goes without saying but I totally relate to this — the amount of mental energy required to form ideas often takes away from the mental energy needed to actually sit down and do the thing the idea was necessary for. It was especially true for depcom as of late which is why i took the break after #500. Anyways, good to have you back, Dove.

View Original Post: https://wp.me/p3KYMB-sQ0

#depression comix

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aleatoryalarmalligator · 7 years

Text

categorized and generalized all the types of tumblr aesthetics i have come across.

I have been going through archives for the last five years on tumblr now, and i can’t help but notice that a lot of blogs are the same. There seems to be a pattern in the sorts of aesthetics i run up against. So, in my exhaustion, i tried coming up with all the different aesthetics, and i tried to put them into certain categories. Obviously, some of these categories are mixed with others.

PORN TUMBLR

-general porn

-lesbian/gay general

-kinky stuff

-daddy dom stuff - tied up boobies

-bears

-just unrealistic nudes

-just realistic nudes

-vintage porn, and occasionally porn that is so old that it was drawn by someone in the 1800′s

- hentai and erotic animal people cartoon characters going at it

-person who took about five pictures of themselves naked five years ago who has not come back

RICH KID TUMBLR

-super modelesque kids in their super rich cool kid clothes and fashion in Starbucks taking pictures of their food and their trips to Europe in 1st class

- incredibly expensive looking sunglasses

-rich kid travel blogs with hundreds of thousands of notes of pictures from rich people buildings

-quotes that say 'be happy' or stuff about saying anyone can just travel anywhere at any time, just the general advice you might get from someone who doesn't know how the other half lives

- cats

VINTAGE TUMBLR

-the greatest generation stuff, forgotten early hollywood actors/actresses, very old movie gifs, Theda Bara, Clara Bow, Carol Lombard, early Joan Crawford, Gone with the Wind ect..

-50's, 60's and 70's, Nancy Sinatra, Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn – generally a lot of Audrey Hepburn

-Posts old advertisements and old cars, sometimes old toys, a few pinups, vintage comics, kinda weird

- vintage toy blogs - just toys, named and dated

-sometimes retrospace stuff

-sometimes just old comic book stuff

FEMINIST/ GENDER STUDIES TUMBLR

-intersectional feminists who post mostly text and back and forth writings, sometimes they fight

-radfems and turfs, unpopular minority of angry at the intersectional feminists

- Fat Acceptance movement, chubby bunnies

-other girl's selfies, lots of girl power related drawings of gender symbols and the like, Grimes, being a witch, Courtney Love, sailor moon, and so forth, sometimes bleeds into soft grunge

-topics on transgender, gender fluid and others that have informative

- asexual community

BLACK LIVES MATTER TUMBLR

-black lives matter awareness, police brutality, pointing out flaws in legal system

-lovely stylish selfies

-call outs of racism, lots of dialogue, and the extension of twitter

80's + 90's GIF TUMBLR

-like gifs of scratched up VCR obscure film openings, and repetitious obscure 80's gifs in general, everything is fuzzy and looks like it came from an 80' infomercial, kinda makes you feel scared

-90's gifs of Pee Wee Herman, Catdog, Clarissa Explains it All, Chucky Cheese, Fruit by the Foot, Beavus and Butthead, Bart Simpson, and so on

HIPPIE TUMBLR

-just like the rich kidz, only they have white kid dreads and post a lot of vanlife stuff, lots of festivals

-mostly psychedelic gifs, with occasional trippy art, Foster the People is their favorite band

-real hippies, who post pictures of communes and people making tyed dye things, nonsexual nudes with hairy women, Grateful Dead stuff

-Buddhist and Hindu quotes, sometimes lilies

SOFT GRUNGE TUMBLR

purple and pink skies, water, windows with lace

girls with pale skin and perfect make up, and chokers, bruises, sparkly skin

mermaid texture, mermaid hair colors

Lana Del Rey

kind of like 90's only more melty and pink

quotes about good vibes

Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless mind reference

moon print

dream pop bands from the early 90's

GROWN UP SOFT GRUNGE TUMBLR

picture of Uma Thurman overdosing in Pulp Fiction

lots and lots of flowers

lots of sensual pictures of pale skin under certain lighting

albino people

albino animals

pictures of sunrises

Reykjavic

kind of like the Soft Grunge, but just a little bit more subtle and film tumblry

ART BLOG TUMBLR

old roman art

chinese, japanese and korean art from long ago

renaissance and medieval art with religious context

just like medieval art of specifically torture

18th and 19th century portrait paintings

Scenic paintings of hills, Van Gogh, Toulouse-Lautrec, Monet

Dada, Pablo Picasso, Jackson Pollock, Salvador Dali, Andy Warhol, Adolph Wolfie

Modern art that is squiggly, slimy, and bizzare, breaks art rules but looks good, David Shrigley

Modern Surrealists

ARTIST BLOG TUMBLR

posts really great homemade gifs that nobody knows about infrequently

blogs that only have the artwork of the blog owner – generally post infrequently and not given enough credit ever, except maybe one of there works has a whole bunch of notes

person who keeps painting the same thing over and over again and does it a lot for years at a time, 0 notes usually – who are you??

collage artists that mix 50's scenes with hyperspace backdrops

FILM BLOG TUMBLR

-Stanley Kubrick, Jean Cocteau, lots of black and white french films

-that movie where the two people are sitting on the ledge of a building and the other one jumps off

Clockwork Orange

-Paris, Texas

David Lynch

Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks (gets stolen by other kinds of blogs frequently)

Wim Wenders,

Rare film art from Poland in the 70's

Jans Svankmajer

Man Ray, Max Ernst,

cool quotes by philosopher, artist, psychologist, or film director

Amelie

sometimes Wes Anderson

PHOTOGRAPHY TUMBLR

abandoned places, gas stations, archaic cafes, falling apart amusement parks

uses too much dark fade out in the background pictures of fields and stuff, overused filtering – posted a ton three years ago and then left

just photostock

girl who takes pictures of herself in costume

Nature pictures, animal pictures ect..

person who just takes pictures of textures and minimalist buildings – usually colorful

person who's personal Instagram picture just automatically post to tumblr also, probably never checks up, usually pictures of them with friends as a pub

Indigenous pictures from around the world, some of them from books, some from National Geographic, some from other places

Super old pictures from old newspapers, the great depression, WW2 – generally black and white

MUSIC TUMBLR

Really likes Led Zeppelin, The Doors and The Who, sometimes mixed with other vintage, often posts the same pictures and songs for years – you feel bad because no new music will be coming out from these artists

super cheesy Van Halen, Kiss, Styx, Ozzy person, Big Hair, likes 80's pin ups and skulls, sometimes into martial arts

super cheesy death metal fan, lots of pinups, corny black and white pictures of skulls and such

REALLY likes British Invasion, The Zombies, The Kinks, The Hollies, The Animals, will occasionally post Detroit girl groups from the 60's, some Velvet Underground, pictures of the Beatles girlfriends

Just David Bowie, Lou Reed, Patti Smith and Iggy Pop. Maybe some New York Dolls

Old Blues and Jazz, Etta James, Son House, Nina Simone, pictures of Leadbelly and Howlin' Wolf and especially Miles Davis

really into post punk, Nick Cave, Siouxsie, Bauhaus, The Cure, Einsturzende Neubauten, Lydia Lunch, PJ Harvey and Rowland S. Howard, sometimes Morrissey. also generally mixes film and art blog stuff in with occasional feminist things

Just Morrissey, they call him Moz.

Fan clubs for specific bands that are newer and popular like Arctic Monkeys or Fallout Boy, but also ones blogs that really like emo lyrics from early 2000's and such – scene kids that are still scenin' it up

loves Jens Lekman, Belle and Sebastian, The Magnetic Fields and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Cigarettes After Sex. Usually posts really cute modern art, and uses tumblr mostly for writing, has the cutest hair cut and can pull off overalls, never posts too little or too much, extremely twee

HISTORY TUMBLR

ancient mesopotamia, greek and Egyptian history and relics

Blogs that are specifically about one place in one era - Ancient Russia, Ireland before it was taken over, precolonial India and so on

Samurai, Geisha, and scrolls

Swords, knights, castles, kings of Europe in general

Specific Wars, examples: 7 Years War, Revolutionary War, WW1 + 2

France from before the revolution – pictures of wigged men, Napoleon, Marie Antoinette

Jane Austen time era anything 18th and 19th century, slight excuse to post lots of Pride and Prejudice gifs with Keira Knightly and that Mr. Darcy in the rain

Outfits – just outfits that are really old

person who is obsessed with the Nazis and seems to like Hitler

Flappers and earlier 20th – often an excuse to post gifs of Downton Abbey

Vintage books, often children books, but sometimes others

DESIGN TUMBLR

really fucked up pictures of the Simpsons melting and stuff

gradient graphic art with symbols or words meant to convey a product that I don't understand for an obscure magazine subscription

graphic squiggles without form, minimalist graphic pictures of beach balls, tennis bats, and sneakers

bizarre smiley faces made from smaller smiley faces

80's inspired design

odd looking models with undercuts and no eyebrows

cartoon dogs and cats

just static and glitches. Nothing more, nothing less

either they make their own graphic designs and they rarely post, or they compile reblogs of everyone else's and they post all the time

WEIRDO TUMBLR

insane family pictures of family who all has mullet dressed as bumble bees

Lots of Robert Crumb, some vintage stuff, but nothing remotely main stream

Some of the modern art, but only the weirdest of it

claymation masks

Comix

Moebius

art from early Power Point

100 piece sculptures with melted toys

paintings of monsters

Steve Brule

children's fan art of Smokey the Bear – looks disturbing

Items that are too kitschy to be accepted by your average vintage indie blog

sometimes a specific blog centered around some kind of crazy event where everyone dresses completely insane

POLITICAL TUMBLR

the communists and Marxists

a mixture of BLM and LGBTQ stuff

the libertarians, anarchocapitalists, Ayn rand folk

the left wing anarchists, freegans, graffiti punks, garden punks, possums

informative left wing news that explains to us everyday how the GOP is fucking us

alt. right creeps who are simply here to be trolls and upset everyone else – anti SJW, that stupid frog, nationalists, trump supporters and such – irrelevant poorly thought memes

I miss Obama memes

Bernie Sanders forever and always folk

RAINBOW TUMBLR

pictures of rainbow candies, toys, designs, clothing and so forth all of it rainbow

people who post one color at a time, so when you go through their archive it's all gradient and neat looking – usually the pictures are a little stock photoish though

HALLOWEEN TUMBLR

Betty Page

The Cramps. Reverend Horton Heat

Psychobilly pin ups, old cars, burning skulls, vintage B horror movies, The Swamp Thing

Legitimately obsessed with the activities of Halloween – posts witches, devils, trick or treat candy, Bella Lugosi, The Monster Mash, Halloween decoration - and doesn't ever forget how many days away Halloween is

Jack the Skeleton

Freddy Krueger

FANCLUB TUMBLR

Superwholock

Hannigram

American Horror Story

K Pop and J Pop + Korean Drama

boy bands in general

Hamilton

My Little Ponies

Ghibli Studios

Various anime shows

fat Disney princesses

Super heroes

Pokemon

Big Bang Theory

Mighty Boosh

Monty Python

Phantom of the Opera

Labyrinth

Vampire Chronicles

Orange is the New Black

Breaking Bad

Alice in Wonderland

Harry Potter

Star Wars

Steven Universe

Adventure Time

Game of Thrones and Walking Dead

any television show really

Furry cartoons

lots of spacy quick anime chibi versions of characters who are hooking up and wouldn't normally in the show

scenes from movies with subtext that comes from a different movie or show

probably countless others i am not thinking of.

SPECIALTY TUMBLR

serial killer blogs

unexplained mysteries, ghosts, ufo's

pictures of galaxies with information (not sparkly silly ones with no context)

sewing and yarn

precious stones

cars

just gardening

just cats

religious blogs, either Islam, Christian, Jewish, Hindu or Buddhist

specific animal blogs, snake, spiders, wild cats and such

science blogs about technology and stuff

NATURE TUMBLR

stock photoish pictures of camp grounds and misty mountains – often taken by the hippies

angelic looking deer, and occasional animal burials with flowers'

person who takes pictures of flowers all the time

granola type fellow who loves juicing and backpacking – doesn't get on tumblr much

BLACK AND WHITE GOTH TUMBLR

slenderman fan art, actually just about anything creepypasta related

you have to turn off the music when you visit their page because it's just too much

fan art of black eyed children

slit wrists

pictures that were turned into Gifs because they shake

taxidermy

screamo lyrics

Alice in wonderland with X's for eyes

gothic models

occasional serial killer

skulls and references to Edgar Allan Poe

GIF MEME TUMBLR

just a sea of Gifs and memes relating to anything about life ever – almost shitposting but not quite

eventually one of the gifs got 100,000 notes for it's relatability so they get a lot of traffic

lots of pictures and circumstances from The Office, Parks and Rec, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Nihilist memes

SOFTY TUMBLR

kind of a little girl dom thing going on

Kawai and lots of Japanese girls

cute colorful make up

plushies and toys

references to fantasy cartoons from the 80's, the last unicorn, or that one with the girls in that band

Polly Pockets, Furbies, trolls

gifs of stars and hearts

Sailor Moon

pink bedroom

baby animals

occasionally more on the vintage kitschy side

WICCA TUMBLR

ravens, bats, candles

pentacles and other symbols

crystals

sometimes there is dreads

occasionally, it is a serious practicing Wicca who posts spells and gives witch advice

lots of personal reflections

boobs

GROSS TUMBLR

Tim and Eric, Steve Brule centered blog that are mostly in the act to make you feel queezy

like, people eating cheerios with ketchup and people wearing shoes with the soles cut out, people putting their feet in spagetti, bad tattoos on foreheads

snails, beetles, bird doing mean things to people

mostly moldy things, moss, strange dolls

things that look like they came from the dark crystal,

delapitating bedrooms that once belonged to a little girl, torn wall paper, old porcelain dolls that are slightly upsetting

Clowns

occasionally a blog so gross you will be ruined for having seen it – Two Girls one Cup sort of thing

NERD TUMBLR

old video game start up pages

Super Mario Bros.