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opultea · 1 year

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Abnormal Love Languages

Genshin men with weird ways of expressing their love for you - Gender Neutral Reader (No Pronouns) - SFW - Romantic - Fluff/Crack

ft. Alhaitham, Wanderer, Heizou, Tighnari, Dottore

Alhaitham

The Scribe of the Akademiya, a renowned scholar, and a totally awkward boyfriend

So what does this intelligent, well-known, socially unaware man do when he wants to show you he loves you?

Infodumping

Knows a lot and makes sure you know it too

If he fell in love with you that means he respects your intelligence and curiosity enough to find interest in your company

So whenever he's on the couch with a new book on Theoretical Quantum Mechanics, he will be reciting the facts to you as if he's doing an oral presentation

Alhatiham keeps one of those big rolly whiteboards in his house (usually used to lecture Kaveh) and you know that when he pulls it out then it is officially date night

He pours you both a glass of wine for a nice candlelit dinner, but then you ask him about his new book and suddenly it's a romantic candlelit lecture

Lucky you find his intelligence attractive ;)))

If you ever need gift ideas for him just get a pack of multicoloured whiteboard markers, he always needs new ones

Even though you might end up regretting enabling his little habit

Wanderer

Traumatised Tsundere (TM)

Has never wanted anything more than to be loved the way he observed in humans, but has always believed he could never be loved in any way. It has only been proven to him that it isn't possible

So he protects himself from rejection by teasing and swatting you away, almost trying to make you hate him so he can at least expect what reactions to get from you

He views it as safe, he knows how humans are when they are angry and hateful, he's experienced it firsthand, so he knows what will come of it

Even though he's secretly saddened by feeling like he has to hurt you

So when you respond to him bonking your head with laughter and a smile brighter than he's seen on anyone in his direct presence before, it startles him

When he pushes your face away with his hand and you retaliate by latching onto his arm he freezes (Wanderer.exe has stopped working)

Calls you stupid and insults your survival instincts

"Honestly, if a complete stranger were to push you away like this, would you still clutch their arm like a lost puppy? How absurd, you obviously couldn't survive without me protecting you, since you evidently can't tell good intentions from bad ones,"

Then you pout and tell him that of course you don't do this with other people, you do it because it's him!

He stops working again

Shoves you to the ground to avoid you seeing how red his face is

Heizou

Riddles and puzzles/tries to quiz you by making you help him solve a case

Brings you to crime scenes even though you are not a detective and definitely aren't allowed to be there just so he can test your skills

"So, what can you gather from this crime scene? This case isn't particularly difficult, so I have no doubt you'll be chasing down the perp in no time,"

Honestly your whole relationship is like an escape room

You want to get into your house but forgot your key? Well knock in morse code and maybe Heizou will let you in

You want to have a nice lunch date with your boyfriend? Well you best be prepared for an intense game of shogi while you eat

You want Heizou to pass you a pen? Well first you must answer these questions three!

But seriously, he makes it fun for you and makes sure to let you know that it’s his way of telling you how much he respects you and he values your input and intelligence

Tighnari

As an Amurta scholar and a forest watcher who has seen way too many cases of mushroom-based food poisoning, Tighnari has learnt to be prepared to dish out medical treatment

So if you cough even once, or sneeze in his presence, Tighnari will begin an impromptu check-up to ensure you're still feeling your best

You try telling him you're fine, people sneeze all the time without being sick, but he just scolds you even more for thinking you could get away without him making sure you're alright

"Don't be so proud, you idiot. What am I going to do with you if you go and get sick?"

Tighnari would hate if you fell ill under his careful watch, but if you do get sick or injure yourself, prepare for a two hour lecture and a bowl of fresh creamy mushroom stew to help you get back into tiptop shape

He's usually incredibly busy with his forest watcher duties, but will somehow almost never leave your side if he's tending to you

When you aren't sick, he makes sure you're eating well, going so far as to prepare your meals or make a nutrition table based on the vitamins he thinks you need more of

Always reminds you to drink water and take any medication you need, your health is his top priority

Dottore

Psychopath (Endearing)

Takes x-rays of you just to admire your lovely bone structure and hangs them up around your shared bedroom as if they're regular date pictures

He loves to have you sit in his lap as he caresses your body and coos at your flesh, whispering sweet nothings in his suavest voice about your organs, and telling you what a strong heart you must have because he can feel it through your shirt

Unwinding with Dottore almost always goes this way, with you getting a shower of what you're pretty sure are compliments about your internal systems and physical attributes

He once shocked you with a mini electric buzzer just to see your central nervous system go off. You were naturally quite annoyed about it but he just shrugged it off, claiming that he just loved to see your body at work, although he never did it again

His doctor brain never turns off, so be prepared to have his fingers in your mouth as he goes on about what wonderful teeth you have

It certainly makes you feel... special

You should feel special, he definitely doesn't do this with anyone else

Dottore is so enchanted by your being that he grows human organs in his lab that are exactly the size and shape of yours, saying it's so you can see for yourself just how beautiful you are

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #fluff #romantic #sfw #alhaitham x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #heizou x reader #tighnari x reader #dottore x reader #zandik x reader #love languages #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #gn reader #no pronouns #gender neutral reader

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jenosbigtoe · 7 months

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BIG FAN OF YOUR WORK do you mind maybe creating some sort of succubus type fic 🤭🤗??

mdni. nsfw 18+

pairing: mark lee x succubus!reader (office au)

warnings: manipulation, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding, reader takes control, mark is tied up

mark was in deep shit.

he didn’t mean to develop the hots for his hot coworker in the cubicle adjacent to his, alright? to a certain extent, you couldn’t really blame him. every day, you’d show up wearing a white button down, slightly unbuttoned just enough to remain professional but also show even cleavage to leave his pants tight. you would wear those black tights and a matching black pencil skirt that made your ass look amazing. red nails, red lipstick, and a cat-eye that could carve his heart out. and you always had those red bottom pumps that mark would definitely let you stomp on his throat with. you were literally a vision of sex, in your office work attire, to mark. he would let you ruin him.

you were so confident and a little sly too, which made mark so flustered around you. “hey, baby boy,” you’d say to him with a smirk on your face, as he walked over to his desk one morning. your legs crossed as you watched him spit and splutter at the nickname.

“b-baby boy?” he said, eyes bulging.

you rolled over to his desk in your rolly chair and pinched his cheek. “yes, baby boy,” you cooed. “you’re so cute. just like a baby boy.”

but mark didn’t want to be known as cute in your eyes. he wanted to be sexy. he wanted to be fuckable.

“m not a baby,” he’d grumble to himself, scooting away from your teasing grin and going back to (pretending to) work on his computer.

you thought he was just so adorable and you loved teasing him like this to get these cute reactions out of him.

mark was so frustrated. after all, his office crush just couldn’t stop teasing him for being “cute”. puppies are cute but you wouldn’t fuck a puppy. he didn’t want to be a stupid office pet in your eyes. he wanted to be a man, your man to be exact.

and on top of all your teasing, he’s been having these… dreams about you. for several weeks in fact. every night. his dreams would always center around you but in different situations. and they were always, always sexual. every dream was different. sometimes he would top, sometimes you. sometimes you would be sucking his dick and sometimes he’d be the one going down on you. and in those dreams, you have gone through every position imaginable. reverse cowgirl, missionary, doggy, 69, standing up, on the wall, in the shower. literally anything and anywhere, you have done it in mark’s dreams. mark would never remember what happened leading up to the sex either. he would fall asleep and next thing he knows, he’s balls deep inside you and you’re milking the hell out of his cock.

every morning, he wakes up hot and sweaty and panting, like he just ran a marathon. he’s normally an evening shower type of guy but now he has to take a freezing cold shower every morning in order to put himself in somewhat decent order before he has to face you at the office. and of course, you’d always be there, teasing the hell out of him. and them he’d remember those dreams… they feel so real to him. it frustrates him to no end how he has been plagued by these sex dreams with you when he isn’t even close to even asking you out in real life.

this night was no different. mark fell asleep and the next thing he knew, he was back sitting in his office chair but this time pants around his ankles and tie bound around his wrists behind his back. you had your tights ripped to shreds, skirt rolled up all the way to your waist, and shirt completely unbuttoned and hanging off your arms to show off your bouncing tits as you bounced up and down on mark’s painfully hard cock. fucking at work? this was a new one.

“fuck, mark,” you panted, tilting your head back and sighing in pleasure. you grabbed his waist with one hand for support and rested the other on his bare chest.

mark couldn’t move his arms from the tight knot his tie had around them but god how badly he wanted to touch and grope your bouncing tits right in front of his face. he growled and surged forward, grabbing one of your tits with his mouth.

your cunt felt so so warm and wet, he was about to lose it. then he felt your pussy spasm and clench around him, causing him to let go from licking and sucking on your breasts and groan in pleasure.

“fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking hot. you feel so good, sweetheart,” he hissed, bucking his hips into yours. “baby, i’m gonna cum.”

you felt his thick cock twitch inside you. you grinned widely and started bouncing your hips harder, faster against his. “cum, baby, cum inside my cunt,” you whispered seductively into his ear.

mark leaned his head back and let out a loud groan as he came deep inside your warm pussy. he unloaded right at the entrance of your womb, bottoming out so deep. every time he cums inside you in these dreams, he feels that he had never cum that much in his life, yet he could still feel your cunt milking him for more. you rocked your hips and grinded them against his, making sure to get every last drop.

he thought this was all a dream but you knew better. afterall, this was how you bound him to you and made him yours.

a/n: i intended this to be for jisung but i got carried away and wrote it for markiepoo instead whoops

#nct dream smut #nct smut #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #nct dream #mark lee x reader #mark lee smut #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 smut #mark x reader

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shadowdaddies · 4 months

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Hi, love your writing. Could you write something with either Lucien or Ruhn with a reader who is always told she talks to much? Like when she gets happy or excited she tends to ramble and people usually get annoyed at her and tell her to shut up and she slowly stops talking at all and Lucien or Ruhn see that and try to get her to come out of her shell again and always listen to what she has to say?

I needed to write this today, I really relate and I'm having a hard time. If you ever want someone to talk to, my messages are open💜 and omg do you know how hard it was to choose between Lucien and Ruhn?😩 ugh anon your ideas are too good! I went with Lucien only because I haven't written for him yet and I think he's perfect for this but if you have a Ruhn request I'm HERE💜

Use Your Words

Lucien x Reader hurt/comfort

Warnings: this got very suggestive towards the end, I have learned I am very susceptible to the Vanserra rizz

You barely made it through the front door before a sob ripped through you, slinking to the ground as you sunk against the wall. Your throat was in knots, chest heavy as your thoughts eddied deeper and darker.

Growing up, you had always been told you were too loud, too open, too much. Even now, it took courage for you to reach out to people, to not let your insecurities get in the way of connecting with others. Tonight you felt comfortable, thinking that the females in court accepted you, but the moment that you opened up - shared too much - they gave you the same judgmental looks that had become ingrained in your mind.

It was easier to retreat into yourself, better to not say anything than to bear the rejection that inevitably followed you through your life. When Lucien arrived home, he found you crumpled into the sofa, adorned in your softest robe as you stared blankly at the fire.

“My love, you look ethereal glowing against the light of the fire,” Lucien murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. He lifted your head, settling underneath you as a makeshift pillow while he stroked your hair. “How was your evening, beautiful?”

You couldn’t help how your face crumpled at his question, lip quivering as the tears leaked from your eyes. You buried your head in his lap, shaking your head as you couldn’t bring yourself to speak.

“Hey, I’ve got you, love,” Lucien whispered, lifting you up into his lap, cradling his in his strong arms. A long time passed as he held you, letting the emotions pour out of you, paying no mind to the tears that stained his shirt.

When you were ready, you lifted your head to rest against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat calming. “I’m not good with words like you, Lucien. I wish people found me charming and interesting, but it’s like I say too much and they lose interest. I don’t know how to do anything right, Luc. No matter how hard I try, it’s not enough, and it’s too much,” you cried into his shoulder.

Looping your arms around his neck, you held him close as though he might disappear if you let go. “I’m sorry, that was a lot. I didn’t mean to say too much, I just keep talking,” you rambled, unable to stop but desperate to share your feelings.

Lucien held you tight against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your hair before broad hands found your cheeks. “My love, you are not too much. I could never have enough of you. Your words are like the flowers that fill the meadow outside. They are many, and together they create something so breathtaking, I don’t know how I ever lived without you.”

His lips lowered to your neck, long red hair sliding against the skin of your chest. Fingers threading through his soft hair, you tilted your head back, welcoming the affections he was bestowing upon you.

Pressing a kiss below your ear, Lucien’s warm breath tickled your skin as he spoke. “I want to know everything that goes through this beautiful mind,” he murmured, teeth grazing your neck as he continued peppering kisses to any exposed skin he could find.

You whimpered, rolling your hips against his in a silent request for more. Lucien pulled back, a feline smirk on his lips as his eyes glowed in the firelight. With a tsk, he tilted your chin towards him. “I want to hear everything that you want tonight. I want you to use your words, to hear every beautiful noise that comes from your mouth as I show you how incredible you are. Understood?” He punctuated his question by tugging your bottom lip with his teeth, and you nodded furiously.

“Yes, Lucien. Please touch me,” you breathed.

“Good girl,” he grinned, tossing you over his shoulder as he carried you to your bedroom.

banners by saradika

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extremelyputridfishbreath · 7 months

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honestly this isn't like, to say herbert is super niceys in canon BUT. i feel like if he actually succeeded in bombing the player, rookie, gary (and likely dot as well- i dont remember if the original epf command room was destroyed when the psa hq was) he'd probably not feel 100% happy about it. murder is in fact, a big deal! and while i'm not saying he'd instantly regret it i wouldnt be surprised if he'd feel SOME kind of way if he did succeed, even if he was mostly like "YAAAAY THOSE ANNOYING BIRDS ARE FINALLY DEAD". like yknow, even if i write my herbert to be Meaner and Nastier post blackout its not like i see even my herbert and especially not canons as someone who is Only Evil All The Time, i genuinely think this man would be at least slightly conflicted once the whole 'i actually succeeded in killing them' thing kicked in. and while he was obviously thrilled to bits about taking over the island and freezing the epf's leads, freezing them isn't exactly the same as killing them since as we know, even though it can have negative effects like gary saying he'd been having medical issues after being dethawed it's not permanent like being Killed-

#idk its just fun to explore. which is one reason why the ghost!rolly au exists #he finally gets what he wanted. he finally got rid of rolly for good (or so he initially thinks). but freezing agents and trapping them #with a bomb or on a mountain (to a /rocket/ in jpg's case) is different than seeing the results in Front of you...#because yeah. he gets to see the lead's frozen faces as much as he wants during blackout. but theyre not DEAD. if he ever #wanted out of sudden regret or just to taunt them for failing to save the island he could easily dethaw them for it.#he can't bring them back if they REALLY die. and even with the popcorn bomb #if gary rookie the player and dot (and i guess jpg if you count the ds version) all died to the bomb he wouldn't SEE the result in front of #him. he doesn't have to see the result of his actions beyond the wreackage of the sports shop or perhaps a particularly sad club penguin #times issue. but causing rolly to bleed out in front of him? Ruh Roh mr esquire doesnt feel so good seeing his worstie in fatal peril #suddenly it doesn't feel great to have his white paws be blood red!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk like i said i just rotate this around a lot. its fascinating how herbert will say he just wants to 'defeat' the epf and not destroy it #during his brief tenure working with protobot...a year after the popcorn explosion. what happened herby #did you realize it would've been bad to kill three people (again dot too but he didnt know she was there).#did you realize murder is not okay? :)

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klipkillakai · 4 months

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imagine~

18+ minor dni! ageless accounts will be blocked with a quickness 🩷🪽

smut/black!fem reader/ plug!könig/ pnv nd some other stuff but nun too crazy

okay but imagine..

your on your phone scrolling through insta and you get a text from your plug

-kö 🌀❕

-ma i got some new stuff i think you’ll like want me to pull up?

‘you softly smile at the next nd think about it, and realize you running low so you reply’

-yea, pull up

-bet, i’m getting gas rq u want sumn?

-yea get me the purple skittles 😌

-aii

‘you click out the messages and get up, quickly washing your face and going to your vanity to do a lil makeup, it’s not cause you like him or nun (🤭) it’s cause you wanna look.. presentable’ (riiight)—

‘while your putting on your lipgloss you get a text “i’m outside” and you hop up and put on your cute pink slippers and not even bothering to take your bonnet off because it looks cute anyway, you grab your water bottle and you walk out your apartment and out to the parking lot and you see könig’s matte black hellcat parked, you walk up nd tap on the window and he unlocks the door and you slip in’

“hey” you smile softly

“hey mama” he says in a soft raspy voice and he looks up from his phone lazily throwing it in the cupholder and looking at you and your belly tingles when he looks at you with those tired eyes, he reaches in the back and grabs a bag will all the stuff in it and he opens it and you take it upon yourself to connect your phone to the bluetooth and play some music, brent fiyaz to be exact (🤭)

“aii so i got some new cart flavors for you, nd these new edibles i think you’ll like”

“ooh show me the cart, my shit has been tweaking lately”

he hands it to you and it’s a pink bat wit hello kitty printed all over it like stickers and a fresh new cart already loaded up— he clears his throat a bit

“i know you like that hello kitty shit” he says nonchalantly but inside he feels all warmed up nd shit because of that pretty smile on your face

“aww this is so cute.. thank you kö” you lean towards him a press a small kiss to his cheek, something you always do, könig always looks out for you so it’s a way to show your appreciation— once you pull away you and könig have a moment when you both stare into each other eyes and you watch as his eyes lowers to your lips for a second before snapping back up to your eyes, könig slightly leans in before licking his lips and pulling away— “let’s smoke a lil bit”

“mhm” you hum, trying not to show that you definitely wanted him to kiss you, but your deciding to chill a bit, play it cool..

a little while late you and him are smacked and y’all are jus talking and listening to the music, jus like you always do, but today something up his lowered red eyes is driving you crazy, and the lazy slumped smile on his lips is making you wanna crawl over the seat and do sumn—

“i can’t believe you’ve never had a boyfriend y/n”

“why? i mean like in highschool i was a little awkward” you say slightly embrassed, he rolls his eyes a bit

“nah i would’ve fucked wit you” you smack your teeth

“why you lying.. i hate when people lie” you say referencing rollie and slightly laughing at that

“nah i swear” “he says moving a lil closer to you with a slight smile on his face”

“it’s those eyes mama, you got pretty eyes” he whispers as he leans in even more and so do you

“yea?” you whisper “yea” he whispers back before capturing your lips in a soft kiss, pausing and kissing you again, longer this time, is hand grabbing your jaw and kissing you deeply, your breathing gets a bit heavier and he softly bites your lip pulling away for a sec “so fucking pretty baby” and kissing you again—

the rnb melodie’s playing in the background setting the mood and the soft rain hitting the car, he slides his other hand down to your waist and pulls you over the console and sets you in his lap, he sits up a bit and grabs your waist with both hands as he kisses down your jaw, groaning at your sweet smell and shuddering when he feels your hands slip up into his hair at the nape of his neck and scratching softly with your acrylics—

you let out a soft moan and you feel his tongue run over the spot he was sucking on before he pulls back a bit and unzips your pink sweater— “i’ve wanted to do this for so long baby” he kisses your chest right above your pretty nipples “i think about you all the time pretty girl, your pretty fucking smile” he sucks on your nipple— “these pretty titties” he says slightly muffled and continues to suck and tease them and all you can do is whimper and take it, you roll your hips and you moan when you feel his hard dick “you see what you do to me ma? huh.. it’s all for you, you know that? hm?” he says kissing you again and tugging down your shorts”

“i’m- i’m a virgin.” you say and he soft looks up at you

“we can stop anytime you want- you cut him off “but i want you to be my first” you look down at him with trust and he smiles and kisses your lips “not in here baby, ion want your first time in my car, let’s go upstairs”

you quickly get upstairs and könig picks you up and carries you to your room and he sets you down hovering over you, he goes down your body pressing soft kisses before he presses a soft kiss under your belly button, with a hello kitty charm dangling from it “i like that” he whispers and he tugged your shorts down and places your legs in his shoulders.. “so fucking wet baby, all this fa me? hm?” he presses soft sloppy kisses all over your pussy and clit, he sucks on it softly, spreading it with his two fingers and holding your thigh back with his large hand—

“k-kö fuck.. pa~ i can’t” you shudder not knowing what to say, this overstimulation is new to you and you feel the pressure building up in your stomach already, just like when you touch yourself alone

“don’t worry baby ” he whispers looking up at you as he slips two fingers into your sopping cunt and your back arches, you let out a pornographic moan and you twitch softly as his fingers begin pounding into it, it starting to feel sore you reach down and rub your clit and you bite your lip

“pa i’m gonna cum” you whine and kisses your inner thigh “you can cum baby, i wasn’t gonna let you leave with only one anyways” you moan and when the pressure reaches its peak you clench around his fingers and he groans, watching you shudder and moan as your thighs twitch, his thumb brushes over your clit and your legs shut automatically from the sensitivity and he slaps your thigh and spreads them open “nah baby, i’m not done”—

he sits up and unbuttons his jeans not even bothering to pull them all the way off and reaches behind him and tugs off his shirt revealing the array of tattoos on his chest and torso, he palms the large bulge in his boxers and squeezes it before pulling it out, you shudder when you look at the heavy thick cock, this tip such a pretty pink and glossy from precum, he jerks it softly and pulls you closer to him and he taps his cock on your clit and places it on top, showing how far it’ll reach when inside—

“it’s not gonna fit” you whine and he spits on your clit “imma go slow alr?” you nod and he rubs his cock yo and down your folds before softly putting his tip in, you whimper and he pulls out before going back in a little deeper this time, you repeat this process until it’s all the way in and your squirming

“fuck ma” he shudders and looks down at your stretched out pussy and spits on it before slowly rolling his hips in and out of you and slowly picking up his pace, your back arches and you look up at him while he looks back making direct eye contact, he leans forward and kisses you while giving you slow deep strokes and your currently trying to fight off letting this man to give you a baby, he draws back a bit and he speeds up looking at you for conformation and he begins pounding into you, you mouth slightly opens and you feel that pressure start to build up again, it starts to feel too fast and too much and you place your hand on his belly “pa~” you whine and he moves your hand away “nah mama take this shit” you softly whimper and he leans forward as whispers your ear as he pounds into you “you can’t take it? huh? it hurts.. hm? i’m too big for your pretty pussy? i don’t care” he says with a soft shudder after you clench around him, he presses wet kisses on your jaw and neck “look at you.. all fucked out.. eyes rolling back nd shi.. that feel good baby? he says as he goes back to the slow deep strokes.. “words mama” he says as he grabs your jaw and presses kisses to your lips “mhm.. y-yes” it’s all you can’t say.. it feels to good and your so lost in the pleasure—

he pulls back again and wraps your legs around his waist and he holds down your torso and pounds into you and you begin to let out lound moans and broken sobs .. the euphoric feeling starting to be too much, the pressure being to much and you feel tears rolling down your cheeks—

“fuck- fuck- fuck” you sob “i’m gonna cum_ i’m gonna cum fuck haa~” you whine and he speeds up

“there we go.. let it out pretty girl, let it all out, cum all over this dick baby” he leans down and kisses you sloppily and his eyes roll back and he grunts.. putting he head in the crook of your neck feeling himself boutta cum too, he thrusts he sloppy and rolls into you and you feel yourself release and soon after he lets out a loud moan and cums inside of you.. and sloppily fucking it inside you— “fuck” you whimper “damn” he grunts and you both let out a lust drunk sigh, he sits up and slowly pulls his dick out while staring at it, he bites his lip a bit and gets up grabbing his shirt and wiping off some of the cum pin your pussy, you flinch a bit from the sensitivity and you softly smile—

he finishes and he climbs back up the bed and kisses your head-

“i’m get you some plan b tmmr so don’t worry about it” you snuggle closer to him and smiles

yea cs fuck them kids “you both laugh and he laughs wraps his arms around you kissing you one last time before y’all fall asleep”

| a/n |

y’all 😁 did i eat??? orrrr i think i chewed a bit, i’ve been realized how hard it was to write smut, so i have a much bigger appreciation for all the fic writers nd smut writers ily!! but it’s my first time ever writing smut and y’all it wore me out 😩 but i was giggling the whole time! anyways! hope y’all liked it ❕😌🪽

peace ✌🏾.

#könig x black reader #black reader smut #konig x black reader #könig smut #könig x you #plug!könig smut #smut #cod smut #black fem reader

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ladystoneboobs · 6 months

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possibly incomplete list of asoiaf characters described as having red or even "ginger" hair (or red-gold as opposed to red-brown or ghiscari red-black), never auburn:

mycah, the butcher's boy*

beric dondarrion (red-gold hair)*

lharys, member of the three stooges men-at-arms (wild rust-colored hair)**

unnamed and unfortunate mother of robert baratheon's doomed youngest child, barra (light red-haired mother of black-haired baby)*

tomard aka "fat tom", stark guardsman (with his ginger whiskers)*

horas "horror" redwyne (orange hair)*

hobber "slobber" redwyne (orange hair)*

unnamed red-haired whore leaning out a window the day of ned's execution (presumably not the same as above since she was joking about the king's death)*

melisandre of asshai (deep burnished copper. red and terrible and red.)*

a man called jaqen h'ghar (red on one side, white on the other)*

pug-nosed dancy from chataya's brothel (described as red-haired by tyrion in acok but honey-blonde in asos, so presumably hair dye must have been involved between those book mentions.)**

addam marbrand (hair the same copper color as his horse's mane)*

"ginger-headed" maester frenken*

unnamed beardless ginger youth among theon's crew at winterfell*

ygritte, a spearwife "kissed-by-fire" (bright red)*

arryk aka "left" or "right", lady olenna's red-mustached guardsman*

erryk aka "left" or "right", lady olenna's other, identical, red-mustached guardsman*

lord paxter redwyne (tufts of orange hair)**

anguy the archer of the bwb*

a red-bearded karstark rapist dead in a crow cage at stoney sept*

tansy, innkeeper of the peach in stoney sept*

meryn trant (rust-red hair)*

"red" ronnet connington

mero, "the titan's bastard", former commander of the second sons (bushy red-gold beard)

a red-headed soldier who came with stannis to the wall

shadrich "the mad mouse" (bristly orange hair)*

lord rykker's red-mustached maester

marwyn belmore, lysa's former guard captain (ginger-headed)*

lord benedar belmore with a beard that was "a ginger-grey horror"*

lord orton merryweather (reddish-orange hair)

"the red oarsman", one of euron greyoy's followers (fiery red hair)

unnamed red-haired sailor arriving at port in braavos*

lord clement piper

and his son lewys "little lew" piper, who served as squire to jaime lannister in the riverlands

unnamed red-haired youth who first escaped northward with varamyr from the battle at the wall

one of illyrio's washerwomen (dull red hair)**

jon connington (once red hair gone to grey, still red at the roots and eyebrows even when the rest was dyed blue. also had a bright red beard as a younger man.)**

rolly "duck" duckfield (a shock of orange hair)**

a young man among the wildling refugees at mole's town whose red hair reminded jon of ygritte*

the "sunset kingdoms" girl raped by tyrion in the brothel where he was captured by jorah**

hagen's daughter, only other woman among asha greyjoy's crew

roggon rustbeard, one of asha's men

mully of the nw (greasy orange hair)*

bloodbeard, commander of the company of the cat (fiery red whiskers)

"ginger" jack, a toungeless sellsword of the windblown sent to dany, face nearly covered by his bristly, orange beard

gerrick kingsblood*

and his son*

and gerrick's daughter #1*

and gerrick's daughter #2*

and gerrick's daughter #3*

ronald storm, son of ronnet connington

one of the 7 "choicest" enslaved girls from the yunkish ship who were sacrificed by victarion (red-gold hair)

an enslaved redhead boy in line for a well, asking tyrion about dany**

nail, apprentice to hammer, the armorer for the second sons**

maester tybald, redhaired maester from the dreadfort serving arnolf karstark

valena toland, heiress to ghost hill (bright red hair)

teora toland, valena's younger sister with the same hair

uther shett, knight arriving for sweetrobin's tourney (ginger-haired and whiskered)*

*characters whose hair is described in the povs of starks (or jon snow) who only use the terms auburn or red-brown for catelyn, robb, sansa etc. and do not compare said characters to said tully-haired relations

**characters whose hair is described by tyrion lannister, who spent significant time with sansa and exclusively referred to her hair as auburn (without anyone else telling him her hair color as catelyn told brienne)

the only asoiaf characters ever described as having auburn hair:

catelyn tully stark

robb stark (red-brown/auburn tully hair "so like" his mother's, with a beard redder than his hair)

sansa stark (auburn hair lighter than her mother's, most reddish glowing in candlelight)

brandon "bran" stark (hair not bright red enough for him to distinguish himself from young benjen at first glance in a weirwood flashback)

rickon stark

brynden "the blackfish" tully (once auburn hair gone to grey)

edmure tully (auburn hair with a fiery beard, likely brighter than his hair like robb's)

lysa tully arryn baelish

known tully descendants never described as having auburn hair

arya stark (darker brown stark-colored hair)

hoster tully (hair and beard gone from brown to brown streaked with grey to white as snow)

robert "sweetrobin" arryn (fine brown hair, thought by sansa to be his best feature)

fun fact: the only other character that i can find to ever even be descibed as having red-brown hair in the main series is rowan, one of the spearwives who accompanied mance on his mission to winterfell. (described by theon, who had psychological reasons not to think of any hair-resemblance to robb and co.)

tl;dr i suppose my point here is that auburn hair in the real world may be a term thrown around wildly as a fancier way of saying red hair, but grrm and his westerosi creations seem to keep to a much more specific (true) definition. not just specific, almost entirely unique to a certain family, a weird mutation passing down their line somewhat inexplicably, like the magic platinum hair of the targaryens. (ned stark's 4 tully-haired kids being sorta like alicent hightower's 4 targ-haired kids where nobody can really explain why it was so dominant.) except it's actually more unique to the tullys than either black hair to the baratheons or silver hair to the targaryens, with the velaryons also having valyrian hair as well as some people in the essosi free cities too. which i guess makes rowan the wildling the equalivent of an unknown dragonseed or a lysene woman who could pass as a targ, and regular brown-haired hoster and sweetrobin the equivalent of regular blonde-haired alysanne and alyssa targaryen. so the next time someone calls the tullys lame or whatever, just remember that in-universe they're actually more special than the dragonriders, at least hairwise.

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