#r-writes-fic
Note
Hi Rina, how you doing?
First, I just wanted to say that I'm in love with your stories. I'm not even Jack's biggest fan (meaning, I didn't know much about him), but your stories are all I've been able to read for the past couple of days (and listening to his music in the process).
I know you don't take requests, and as a writer myself I totally understand your reasons. But a line in one of your stories got me thinking about a very specific scenario (I can't remember which one right now. Like I said, I read all your Jack stories in the past two days). It was something about Jack being very strict about condoms, because he was scared he'd get a girl pregnant. So I was thinking maybe a angsty to fluffly (maybe smutty) scenario where the reader finds out she's pregnant and is scared of his reaction to the news?
Please, feel free to answer even if you don't like the idea. I really really do understand your reasons for not taking requests.
Hope you have a lovely day!
Hi!! Sorry this took so long to respond. Life happened while I was editing and it took me longer to get out than I intended. Firstly, thank you for reading my stuff and saying such kind words ♥ It's always an honor when someone outside of a fandom is slowly introduced through your work.
Honestly, I say that a lot in my fics because I thought it was a really funny snippet from his GQ interview last year. However, listening to the album, I think he's let go of that a bit :P. That being said, I love the concept and I want to do a little blurb for it. I hope you enjoy!!
Warnings: Fem!reader, pregnant!reader, mentions of breeding kink, references to ab-rtion, mentions of infertility, smut (pregnant sex, breast/nipple play, unprotected sex), angsty in the beginning, 18+
Miracle
Shallow breaths escaped your lips as you sat on the bathroom floor. The tile felt ice cold against your burning, sticky skin. A thin layer of sweat had settled across your body after spending hours in the room. You were surrounded by ripped cardboard boxes, folded slips of paper scrawled with instructions, and lots of toilet paper that you had scrunched up into balls to use as tissues. On the bathroom counter was a line of six pregnancy tests. The only things in the room that were perfectly straight and aligned. Each one of them slightly stuck out over the side so you could see the metal tip at the end from your crouched position on the floor. It was like they were mocking you. The image of their status was burned into your brain. You didn’t have to stand to look at them to see the result anymore. Pregnant. You were pregnant.
You balled your hands into fists as you held them at your side, afraid to touch your own body. Although you knew it was in your head, you felt like you could feel your stomach growing and something, or someone, moving inside. The thought made you nauseous and you bent over the toilet to dry heave into it. You had already thrown up everything in your stomach earlier in the day so, there was nothing left. But, the clenching of your stomach numbed the dread in your chest that could no longer be soothed by crying. It was like your body was trying to tell you that you were all out of coping mechanisms. You were also out of tests and slowly running out of time. Jack would be back any minute and you would have to tell him the news.
The thought sent a panic through you that allowed you to jump to your feet. You grabbed the paper shopping bag and shoved all of the tests and discarded boxes in there to hide the evidence. You tossed all the toilet paper into the toilet and flushed. Crunching the bag’s top to seal it, you dropped it behind the bathroom door before turning to the sink to wash your hands. You couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror. You couldn’t explain why you felt ashamed. It wasn’t like you were the only one at fault.
In the beginning of your relationship and Jack’s career, Jack was very particular about using condoms. He was terrified of either of your lives being put off course because of family planning. Then, like many high school sweethearts, you two broke up. When you two reunited a couple years later, Jack had a more lax attitude around protection. As long as you both were exclusive and you were on birth control, Jack was okay with forgoing the piece of rubber. The fact that you had a condition that made it difficult for you to get pregnant only seemed to be the icing on the cake.
But somehow, the 0.03% chance of getting pregnant was your current reality. Maybe you should run out and buy a lottery ticket with this luck. You might need a boost after your boyfriend inevitably left you.
You heard the sound of the front door opening and you became incredibly still. Your eyes darted to the shopping bag, unsure of what to do with it. You knew you had to tell Jack, but you were were terrified of losing him. Things were finally starting to get good. He was talking about going public with your relationship and having you join him on radio interviews. Urban had even let it slip that Jack was thinking of asking you to move in with him. This was an offer you welcomed because you currently lived with two roomates in a two-bedroom apartment converted into three with the help of a plexi wall.
Your world was crumbling. Now was the time you were going to need Jack the most and he was going to leave you.
“Babe?” Jack’s deep voice moved through the hotel room. As usual, when Jack visited your city, you stayed with him while he was here. It was always more luxurious than your place and Jack enjoyed having you around.
You tossed the paper bag into the shower just as Jack opened the door. His sky blue eyes were wide and then slowly narrowed as he observed the surroundings. You wondered if the room smelled disgusting: like your sweat or your vomit or your fear. You couldn’t really tell after spending over two hours in the space. Jack’s large pale hand reached out to grab you and pull you to him. He felt so wide and strong as he wrapped his arms tightly around your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. His soft cotton clothes made you more aware of how hot and sticky you felt in comparison to the cool, dry feeling of him pressed against you. You wanted to relish in this moment, but seeing Jack made you more scared.
“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Jack asked, “You look like you’ve been crying. Did something happen?”
You shook your head quickly before you could stop yourself. Your brain searched for an excuse, any excuse. You needed to buy some time.
“I just haven’t been feeling well.” You told him.
Jack pulled back and looked at you through his long, brown lashes. “I heard you throwing up this morning. Was it something we ate last night? You had the fish, didn’t you?”
“Maybe…” You said, staring at his straight nose instead of his eyes. It was easier to lie if you didn’t make eye contact.
“Well,” Jack pulled you close to him again. “I’m back and here for the rest of the night., I can take care of you.”
You held Jack tighter, knowing that if you pulled away the smile you were trying to muster would turn into a sob again. Apparently, your tears weren’t completely done after all. They were very thrilled to make an appearance with the new audience. What’s worse was that your brain was preparing to say goodbye. It was memorizing the strong, but sweet cologne that he spritzed on each morning, the feeling of his taut muscles straining against one of his signature cotton white t-shirts, and the way his trimmed nails raked effortlessly through the hair at your temple, massaging the area because he knew it soothed you. It made this hurt so much more.
“What do you say to a bath?” Jack suggested. “I can run you a nice hot bath. I think I saw some bath salts somewhere…”
Your heart lurched into your throat. You shook your head, pulling back to meet Jack’s confused expression. He was already in motion to pull back the shower curtain so, you broke free of his grasp. Just as he pulled it back, you used your previously non-existent ninja skills to grab the bag in one motion.
“Whoa, what’s all that?” He said, referring the bulge in the bag thanks to your sloppy job of putting everything inside.
“Just some medicine I picked up at the drugstore.” You lied.
Jack quirked a brow. “Why did you put it in the tub?”
You bit your lip and half shrugged. You clutched the bag tightly to your torso as if afraid he would take it. You pushed past him, walking backwards in order to watch him as you spoke. “I forgot.”
“Y/n…” Jack turned to face you as you darted from the bathroom into the bedroom. “...why do I feel like I’m missing something.”
Jack walked closer to you as you stood on the other side of the bed. He ran a hand through his brown curls, freshly cut for a recent magazine spread, and he ruffled them slightly as though forgetting their short length.
“It’s just…” You fumbled with the words. “...sorry, I need to call my mom.”
You explained, grabbing your phone off the night stand and running with the bag. You pushed past Jack, this time forcing him to move out of the way to let you pass.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” Jack asked. “Did I do something? Please talk to me…”
Jack said, trying to close the distance between you. You ran into the living room/office area as you fumbled with your phone to make the call.
“I just need a moment, Jack!” You barked back, hating the anger in your voice. You weren’t mad at him. At least, not yet. Right now, he was still your sweet, caring boyfriend. He didn’t deserve your snapping. Fear and anger were so closely linked and you knew it was the terror of losing your boyfriend that was putting you on edge.
Jack was taken aback by your tone. You never spoke to him like that. You had a stern voice, but you never yelled. He almost didn’t recognize it as your voice. It stopped Jack in his tracks and he stared at the ground. A mix of worry and embarrassment settled in his stomach. Similar to the feeling of getting scolded by a parent at school. With his eyes trained on the floor, he was staring at the carpet in front of you. You were still struggling to make the call, a sign that you were nervous.
Jack frowned as he saw the blue and white wand on the floor. He had seen enough movies to recognize it immediately, but the shock made me him walk toward it slowly in disbelief. He reached down and picked up the pregnancy test, his lips going dry. He looked at you, but your back was turned to him, holding the open paper bag, with your ear glued to your phone.
“Y/n…” Jack’s voice was low, making you turn toward him slowly.
He was staring down at the test unblinkingly. It was one of those tests that didn’t do the lines. Instead, it told you in plain English - Pregnant. No pink lines. No misconception. No confusion. Just pregnant. You looked at the bag, confused as to how one of them slipped, but then you noticed a small hole. You closed your eyes, your phone dropping from your ear.
“Jack…” You said softly, tears welding in your eyes.
Jack’s eyes were dark when they met yours again. It was like he was looking through you. It was worse than you had feared. You didn’t want to close the distance between you two, something you had grown accustom to craving these past couple of years. For the first time ever, you wanted to be far away from him.
“You’re pregnant?” Jack asked you.
You nodded. You turned the bag upside down and dumped the contents. Jack’s eyes stared at each of the items littering on the floor. Even though there was no way he could read each test from where he stood, the message was clear. You were sure. You were pregnant.
“I thought you couldn’t get pregnant.” Jack’s voice was so measured that one would think he was emotionless, but you knew it was because he was angry. “And you were on the pill.”
“Low chance.” You reminded him. “0.03% chance. I was also off the pill for a little bit two months ago because of an insurance problem. It was only a couple weeks and I was back on by the time we hooked up when you came to visit. I didn’t think…”
“You’re right, you didn’t f-cking think.” Jack said, his pink mouth tightening in frustration. “You didn’t think you could have clued me in on that before we went raw?”
Your cheeks flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment. “Look I’m not the one with a breeding kink. You were the one that came back into this relationship with this sudden desire to fill me up.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Come on, Y/n! That’s dirty talk.” He threw his hands in the air. “I also call you my little slut, it doesn’t mean I actually think that.”
Your eyes brimmed with tears and sniffled to force them back. You shrugged, hugging yourself. “What do you want me to say, Jack? I’m not exactly thrilled about gaining 30+ pounds and pushing an infant out of my vagina. But, here we are.”
“So you’re keeping it then?” Jack asked, the disappointment and judgment in his voice impossible to ignore.
You were silent for a few moments. While you knew that Jack was the first person you should tell about this, you wished you had asked your mother or best friend about it beforehand. You had yet to sort out your own feelings about this and, yet, you were already on the defensive.
“Yes…maybe…I don’t know.” You frowned, staring at the ground. “I accepted the fact that I would never have children. I don’t want to regret this years from now if this turns out to be my only chance.”
Jack’s lips flattened as he processed what you were saying. He couldn’t tell you what to do with your body. Especially, not with an explanation like that. Jack did want kids one day. He did want to have them with you. But now was not a good time. He was about to embark on his largest and longest international tour to date. There were legends in the business signing up to collaborate with him on their and his next projects. There were days where Jack didn’t remember to eat. How could he take care of a child?
“This isn’t a good time for me, Y/n.” Jack told you, honestly. “I don’t think I can raise a child right now.”
Your eyes fell shut as the tears fell down your cheeks. Droplets dampened your socks as your head was still tilted forward to face the ground. You already knew this. It wasn’t supposed to hurt so hard because you were prepared for this. But somehow, it still felt like your heart was being ripped out and stomped on in front of you.
Jack took a step closer. “I’m happy to help you financially, Y/n, but I don’t think I have the ability to be good father right now.”
You looked up at Jack with wide eyes. You didn’t think Jack would be this upfront about the next steps. You at least thought he would try to make it work. You weren’t even showing yet and he was already backing out. You frowned at him, shaking your head.
“I don’t need a baby daddy right now, Jack.” Your lips trembled and you struggled to keep your voice from wavering. “I needed my boyfriend. I’m terrified, right now. Just as much, if not more, than you are. You haven’t even touched me since you found out I’m pregnant.”
Jack’s blue gaze softened as he attempted to close the distance, but you stepped back to widen it once more. His arms remained glued to his sides. He let out a sigh before biting his lip looking at you. “This is a lot right now. Maybe we should just sit down and talk for a bit.”
Jack gestured to the couch as he slowly lowered on to it. You shook your head. You needed to clear your head. Still clutching the empty bag to your torso, you slipped your phone in your pocket as you walked over to the coffee table. You grabbed your keys and marched to the door to slip on your shoes.
Jack jumped to his feet as he realized you were leaving. “Don’t do anything stupid, Y/n.”
“I already did.” You said, pulling back the door and running out.
You ran to get an elevator and jammed the close elevator door button with your thumb repeatedly. You figured Jack could be following you and wanted to ensure there was enough distance that he wouldn’t catch up. Luckily, you had driven your own car to the hotel and the valet was quick to bring it to you.
The cold air stung your skin as the wind whipped at you. The sky had turned to a bluish gray hue with thick clouds warning of rain. You wrapped your arms around your chest, feeling the shivers creating goosebumps against your skin. You had emerged only in your pajamas and sneakers. You had your keys and your phone in your possession. Oh and the empty paper bag that you had balled into your fist on the elevator ride down. You left your charger and your suitcase in the hotel room, lost in the fury of your escape. Luckily, your credit cards and ID were in your phone case so, you didn’t have to go back. Since you were driving to your parents house, you knew you would be able to get clothes, a charger, and whatever other toiletries you would need. Most importantly, you would get the sympathy that you were craving.
The valet pulled your sedan from the garage. You smiled sweetly, unable to tip, but the person didn’t seem to mind. You sat in the car and took a deep breath. You buckled your seatbelt as you glanced in your rearview mirror. You swore you could see the familiar curly brown locks darting around the lobby. Adrenaline pumped through your veins, your foot pressed the gas before your brain could process if it was really Jack. It was so quick, you wouldn’t be surprised if your car did the cartoonish smoke with skidmarks across the pavement.
There was a blanket of security that enveloped you as you slowed your car to a reasonable speed. Your car obeyed your commands. Your nose filled with the familiar scent of your air freshener. You knew where your emergency lip balm was and your trusty water bottle was half full and chilled from a night in the garage. Being in your car was something familiar in a day full of uncertainty.
Seeing how well Jack’s reaction went over, you decided to call your mother in advance to tell her what was going on. You told your phone to call “Mom” and it connected to your bluetooth as it rang.
“Hi honey!” Your mother’s voice rang into the car. “I think I missed your call earlier. I called you back, but you didn’t pick up. Everything alright?”
Tears welded in your eyes. You tried to blink them away, afraid of obscuring your vision on the highway. You were a two hour drive a way from your childhood home and it had begun to drizzle. You needed to keep a level head to get there safely. To get you and your baby there safely.
“Mom,” Your voice broke despite your best attempts to keep it strong. “I’m pregnant.”
“W-What?” Your mother’s voice was breathless as if she was underwater.
“I’m going to have a baby, Mom. I’m pregnant.” You said again. The words sounded so foreign to your ears. You had to yet say the sentence out loud and it felt so much more real.
“B-But, how? I thought your ovaries --”
You nodded although she couldn’t see you. “I know, I know.” You let out a dry laugh. “0.03% chance. What a miracle.”
“I’m so happy for you, honey.” You suddenly realized your mother was crying, with happiness. “Congratulations. How has Jack taken the news?”
“Uhm, Mom? This isn’t exactly a happy occasion.” You let out a shaky breath. “I’m 24, unmarried, and secretly dating a superstar who is not interested in becoming a parent. This is not something to be celebrated.”
“Oh honey, I had you when I was 26.” She made a dismissal noise. “Jack will come around. He’s just a little scared. Everyone gets scared. But you really do have a little miracle. You should be careful though too much straining --”
“Mom, you’re not listening.” You argued. “Jack straight up told me he doesn’t want to be a father. That he will financially support me, but that’s it. We’re over.”
There was a beat of silence before your mother asked. “Did Jack say it was over?”
“No…”
“Did you say it was over?”
“No…”
“Well, then it isn’t over.”
Your mother said it so confidently you almost believed her. Until you remembered that she didn’t see Jack’s expression -- the dark blue voids that seemed to stare at you like a bug on the wall. If she saw that, she wouldn’t dare tell you that there was still a chance. With that realization, you felt your heart breaking and suddenly, you were now extremely invested in the heart growing inside of you. Maybe you would keep the baby after all.
Four months later
As you rubbed your rounded belly, you stared in the full-length mirror of your childhood bedroom. You knew moving back home was a good idea. Your mother was taking care of you much better than your roommates could. But, sitting in your room still marked with the joys of your teenage years made you feel like a cast member on 16 & Pregnant. Even with your new remote work setup, thanks to your job being understanding about your move, it still didn’t feel like the room of an adult. You were in a time capsule of your youth as you prepared to bring a new life into the world. It made you feel even less prepared and more bitter that you were doing this as a single parent.
As much as you hated that you still kept track, you knew it had been exactly four months since you last spoke to Jack. It would be unfair to make it sound like Jack didn’t try to reach out. He called you and texted you multiple times in the first few days after you left. When you didn’t respond, he mailed your stuff along with a hand-written apology. You had scanned it, disappointed to not find anything that implied he was going to be more than a financial support to his child. You threw it away immediately and sobbed until you couldn’t breathe. It was at that point that you decided that Jack meant nothing to you.
Or as close to nothing as you could feel for someone you still loved.
You walked over to your closet to put on a fresh top. Your stomach wasn’t super big, but it was obvious you were pregnant. Your breasts had swelled as well which made all your current bras uncomfortable. Since you were usually home, you had decided to no longer wear them. You chose a collared floral top that cinched above your waist. It added a bit of bust support without squeezing the top of your stomach. You put on some black leggings and then marched out of your room in your slippers.
As you walked down the steps, you could hear your mother talking to someone. The voice sounded female which meant it wasn’t your father, who should be at work right now anyway. The moment you saw the long, dark brown curly hair, your breath hitched.
You misstepped and slid down the steps, your butt hitting each one on the way down. Your mother’s footsteps thundered toward you as more timid ones quickly followed. You had a hand protectively on your stomach while the other rested on your back.
“Y/n, are you alright?” Your mother asked, with concern. “You should be careful.”
Your mother was worried that you were going to lose your “miracle baby”, as she kept calling it. Your doctor had assured you that you had a healthy pregnancy. You could continue working and engage in light exercise. But, your mother still doted on you worriedly.
“I”m okay, I just slipped.” Your eyes met the light blue eyes of the other guest in the house who stared at you sympathetically. “Good morning, Mrs. Harlow.”
“Hi, Y/n…” She said, “Sorry to intrude like this. I just--”
“I know.” You said, standing up with your mother helping you. You didn’t actually need the assistance. But you didn’t mind it. “I assume you wanted to see about the baby. Well, it’s real.”
“I can see that.” Jack’s mother commented. “You look beautiful, Y/n. Your skin is glowing.”
You smiled softly. Your best friend had teasingly told you to get on dating apps because of how radiant you looked these days. Your hair was fuller, your skin was brighter, and men at the grocery store seemed to be entranced by the extra oomph in your chest. However, you weren’t interested in anyone else right now. You just wanted to meet your baby.
“Thank you.” You smiled wider. “I feel good. We still have awhile to go.”
Jack’s mother looked at yours. Your mother gave Mrs. Harlow an encouraging nod and you frowned. You could tell something was going on, but you couldn’t predict what it could be.
“Jack is outside.” She explained, finally. “He wanted to see you, but he was afraid you wouldn’t let him in if he came alone.”
Your eyebrows raised in surprise. You didn’t think that Jack would ever show up. And if he was going to send a representative in first, you would have predicted Urban or Neelam before his mother. Your heart clenched knowing that it took a lot of pride for Jack to ask his mother for help. He was so self-sufficient, that he hated admitting that he was over his head. He had to pretty desperate to ask his mother for help.
You felt self-conscious, covering your stomach with your hands. Your body was very different from the last time Jack saw you. Everyone saw the beautiful changes, but there were new stretchmarks and blemishes that had appeared as well. You worried that your face looked fuller than usual and that your occasional breakouts had ruined your complexion. You knew it was stupid to be embarrassed by these things, but you couldn’t help that you were. Just as much as you couldn’t help the fact that your heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Jack again.
“He can come in.” You said, walking toward the living room. “I’ll sit on the couch.”
“Thank you, Y/n.” Jack’s mother said. She motioned to walk to the door, but turned and walked to you first. Standing in front of you, her expression hardened. “I’m so sorry about how Jack treated you. I know I can’t take it away. The hurt that you must have felt nor the betrayal. But just know that I gave him hell and still do every day since he told me. You’re a strong woman, Y/n. However you decide to move forward, know you have my full support. As your friend and the grandmother of your baby.”
Tears welled in your eyes and you sniffled loudly. “Thank you so much!” You wiped the fallen tears with the back of your hand. “Sorry, hormones. But, thank you.”
“Do not apologize, love.” Jack’s mother looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She walked toward the front door, slowly becoming out of your view.
You squeezed your thighs as you waited. There was a lump in your throat that seemed to get bigger when you heard heavy footsteps enter through your door. As much as you willed yourself to look straight ahead, you couldn’t help, but turn when Jack’s tall frame came into your view. His hair was a little longer than last time you saw him and his light brown beard had been shaped up recently. He was wearing one of his sweat suits, a white and blue one that you always loved him in. You knew that was on purpose. He was holding a bouquet of flowers that was comically large. It was also gorgeous.
Jack pulled his hood down as he searched for you. You stood up slowly as his eyes traced you from your head to your toes and then back up again. You shifted uncomfortably.
“Y/n, you look…”
You turned away from him. “If you say I look fat, I’ll slap you.”
Jack chuckled and walked closer to you. “I was going to say beautiful. But I think I deserve a few slaps anyway.”
You turned to look at him, not expecting the soft, sheepish stare of his clear blue eyes. They were so different from the cold, sapphire pools that you saw four months ago. Jack handed you the flowers and you accepted them, sitting back down on the couch. You were grateful that he gave you something to do with your hands. Instinct made you want to wrap you arms around him, but your heart was still too angry.
Jack sat on the couch as well, leaving the seat in the middle open so you could face each other and talk comfortably. You put the flowers there to create an actual divider between you two. There was a silence as Jack admired you. His eyes didn’t leave your stomach. You were used to it from strangers, but it felt weird to have Jack staring at you like this.
“My eyes are up here…” You joked, usually telling him something similar when he stared at your chest.
The apples of Jack’s cheeks tinted red making you laugh, despite yourself. Blushing Jack always reminded you of the first phase of your relationship -- when Jack wasn’t super famous yet outside of Kentucky and his hair was still long. He was shy when talking to girls he liked, no matter how much he tried to play it off. Nowadays, Jack had more confidence and bravado. But, the blushing boy was still buried inside of him, apparently.
“Y/n,” Jack’s voice came out hoarse and he cleared his throat. “I am so sorry. I have been such a coward these past few months.”
“No kidding.” You said, rolling your eyes as you folded your arms.
Jack hung his head as he nodded, “I was so worried about my world crashing because I wouldn’t be able to commit to you and our child. But, without you, I already feel like everything is so messed up. I told myself that once we got back together, I would never let you walk out again. To think when you needed me most, I turned my back on you makes me sick. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. So, I want to make it better.”
Tears stung your eyes and you sighed. You had dreamed of hearing these words from Jack’s lips. This was the apology you wanted in that letter all those months ago. Except, now you needed more than just kind words. Jack was great with words. His entire career was built around saying the right thing. You learned the hard way that Jack’s actions didn’t always match what he promised.
You frowned as you turned toward Jack to see him fiddling with something in his pocket. He pulled out a black,velvet box and your eyes widened. He opened it to reveal a gorgeous ring. The diamond was incredibly large and in the shape you liked. The band was the color that always looked great on your skin tone. It looked like it should be on the hand of a movie star.
Jack shifted to get down on one knee, but you put your hand on your shoulder to stop him. The tears rolled down your cheeks. Part of you was happy, but another part of you was angry.
“Don’t do this…” You said to him, “...don’t do this if you’re just trying to make an honest woman out of me. This isn’t 1932, we don’t have be married to have a child.”
Jack’s eyebrows furrowed deeply. “Do you really think I’m doing this out of some obligation, Y/n?” At the risk of sounding like a douche, a ring like this takes a lot longer than four months to make.”
Your mouth fell open as you felt your cheeks heat. You wiped your tears with the side of your hands and let out a small laugh as you said, “You’re right, you do sound like a douche.”
Jack’s laugh came out raspy and realized he was more nervous than you thought. He was really asking you to marry him and he was afraid you were going to say no. As he should be. But, would you?
“Well?” You asked him.
“Well, what?” He asked, confused.
“Is that all you had prepared? Over four months in the making and no speech?”
Jack’s eyes widened, but when he saw the going of humor in yours, you saw him visibly relax. Jack motioned to get down on one knee again, but you stopped him.
“For god’s sake, what now?” Jack groaned, impatiently. “I’m losing my nerve.”
You laughed. “Let’s go upstairs. I don’t want an audience.” You gestured toward the dining room that was on the other side of the hallway to the living room.
Jack turned around to see both of your mother’s doing a horrible job of pretending they weren’t watching you two. Jack shook his head and closed the box, shoving it in his pocket. He stood up and reached his hand out to help you up as well.
You took it and let Jack hold your hand as you walked up the stairs. He kept looking back at you concerned after each step.
“Is this too much for you?” He asked. “I can carry you.”
As romantic as it sounded to have Jack carry you up the stairs, you couldn’t shake the image of you two falling down the stairs like a slinky. You shook your head and smiled at him,
“This is my usual exercise.” You explained.
“You shouldn’t strain yourself.” Jack chastised you, but he didn’t push it any more.
At the top of the steps, you pointed to your bedroom and Jack walked in that direction. You had briefly forgotten that you were inviting him into your teenage bedroom until one of your many posters came into view.
“I know you like Harry Styles…” Jack commented, still squeezing your hand, “But this is a little humbling.”
You bit your lip to hide your embarrassed smile. “Humbling?”
“I’m about to propose in front of every member of One Direction” Jack squinted at one of the posters. “Wow you have a lot of posters. Several of which have Harry’s face encircled with a heart. Very humbling.”
You laughed, “Well, I hope this speech you have been preparing is better than “Little Things,” because I can’t guarantee I’ll say yes.”
Jack grinned as he got down one knee. He pretended to stop halfway through and gave you a look to check if you were going to stop him again. When you didn’t, he pulled out the ring.
“Y/n Y/l/n, you’ve been a huge part of my life over the last five years. As both a friend and a girlfriend, you have been my greatest supporter and my biggest fan. I got through some of my toughest shows thanks to you. I also was reminded to celebrate my greatest highs thanks to you. You deserve the world for everything you do for me, loved ones, and the people around you. You deserve hell of a lot more than me, but I promise to give 150% to you. You will be above everything to me.” Jack paused and smiled. “You and our family. I love you, Y/n. Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” You said, nodding rapidly.
Jack slipped the ring on your finger, a bit snug because of your pregnancy, but you didn’t care. It still looked gorgeous nonetheless. He scooped you in his arms and pressed a kiss your lips. You smiled into the peck and Jack chuckled.
“I can’t help, but feel like someone is getting between us.” Jack said, glancing down at your rounded stomach.
You laughed, “Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll feel our baby kick.”
Jack’s eyes lit up. He hesitated and you took his hand and pressed it against your stomach. He didn’t apply any pressure at first. He rubbed it delicately, resting his other hand on your lower back. You couldn’t deny that you imagined this moment for months: Jack’s warm hands on your swollen belly and aching back as he rubbed the fatigue away. After awhile there was a small kick. Jack’s eyes which had been trained on your stomach flicked to yours. You gave him a quick nod and he gasped.
“That was a kick?” Jack asked.
“Yup. A little one.” You explained. “The bigger ones tend to happen when I am going to bed. A night owl, just like Daddy.”
Jack chuckled, beaming. “Do we know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”
You shook your head. “My mother wants to do a gender reveal party, no matter how much I try to talk her out of it. She thought this would never happen so, she’s going all out. There’s a baby shower too.”
“I’ll be there.” Jack said with a finality. “I don’t care what day it is, I’ll be there. And for any appointments. And anything you want to do for our wedding--”
“Jack, Jack…” You sat down on the bed and patted the space next to you for him to sit as well. “...thank you, but you don’t have to overhaul your whole life for this. Of course, you’re going to be involved, but don’t feel pressure to do all this. I don’t mind signing the marriage papers and postponing the wedding. Besides, I had a different image of how I would look in a wedding dress.”
You stared at your stomach in the mirror. You saw Jack staring at your expression in the reflection and you tried to brighten your features. Jack hated when you got down on yourself and you didn’t want to argue about your self-image. You were sensitive enough as it was.
“You really do look beautiful, Y/n.” Jack said again. “I am happy to go at your pace. If you want to wait for the wedding, we will wait. If you want me at any appointment, just put it on my calendar and I will be there. I love you and I just want to make you happy.”
“Thank you, Jack.” You leaned in and kissed him
Jack’s eyes fluttered close as he cradled your jaw with his hand and deepened the kiss. You missed how he always tasted minty fresh and the force of his tongue against yours. Your body melted as his thumb massaged your cheek while the other hand rubbed circles into your back. You truly missed the affectionate touch of your boyfriend.
“Y/n,” Jack’s voice deep and you recognized his tone immediately. “When you said you were doing light exercise on the stairs…just how much activity are you allowed?”
“Are you asking me if we can have sex, Jack?” You asked him teasingly.
Seeing his face turn red was completely worth it. Jack nodded, glancing away from you as he bit his red lips. “Yeah…”
“Yes, we can.” You said, “But we may have to figure out how we fit together with my bump in between us.”
“I’m sure I can figure it out.” Jack grinned.
You stood up and pulled down your leggings, letting them pool at your feet. You sat on the bed and kicked off your slippers and the leggings fell to the ground.. Jack helped your remove your top and his eyes widened when he saw your bare torso.
“Wow, those are new…” Jack remarked staring at your breasts.
You smiled shyly. “I…uh…haven’t found a bra to fit them quite yet.”
“I’m not surprised.” Jack bit his lip. “Do you mind if I play with them?”
“Please do…” You said in a breathy voice that would have been more embarrassing if you weren’t so needy.
Jack removed his sweatshirt and tossed it on the floor to reveal his black tank top. He had gotten a bit more toned since you last saw him and your eyes couldn’t look away his tapered waist. You licked your dry lips. He sat on the bed and motioned for you to straddle him. You did, holding on to his shoulders to steady yourself, as you pressed your knees on either side of his thighs. He pressed kisses into your neck as he gently massaged your mounds. You moaned softly, not wanting your mothers downstairs to hear you. Jack’s thumbs gently encircling your nipples didn’t help.
“Are they even more sensitive than before?” He whispered against your neck, not too far from your ear.
“Y-Yeah,” You muttered, already feeling a warmth pooling in your underwear.
“I guess I better enjoy these before little Harlow starts hogging them, huh?” Jack teased before placing one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking gently.
You covered your mouth to silence a loud moan. You could feel Jack’s facial hair tickling your breast as his tongue wrapped around your nipple. You grinded yourself gently against his hardening cock and Jack grunted before switching breasts. He used his fingers to tweak the one he was previously sucking on, to make sure your nipple stayed hard. You continued to roll your lower half against him, careful not to push your belly into his stomach.
Jack pulled back and massaged your breasts with both hands. He pressed your your tits together and buried his face in your cleavage making you giggle. His nose and beard made it tickle but his fingers still brushing against your stimulated nipples kept the pit in your core alight.
“Can I tell you something?” Jack asked, pulling back to look at you, but still massaging your breasts, “And you promise not to make fun of me?”
“I would never promise that.” You joked, “But tell me anyway.”
“Ever since you mentioned my breeding kink in our last argument, it’s kinda haunted me.” Jack sighed. “I never thought about it. No one ever said it like that either. But now, seeing you like this--”
Your mouth fell open and you saw the panic in Jack’s eyes. He was already sputtering trying to take it back, but you saw what was going on. It was too late.
“Are you even more turned on having sex with your pregnant girlfriend?”
“Pregnant fiance.” Jack corrected, meekly. “B-But, yeah…this is so hot to me.”
“Well this won’t become a habit, Jack. I’m not getting knocked up constantly just to spice things up in the bedroom.” You teased, “But after the baby is born, I’ll be happy to put on one of those pregnancy bellies if that would get your rocks off.”
Jack groaned. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you.”
“I’ll even keep my old maternity clothes.” You continued to tease him. “Mhmm, I bet you like this MILF couture.”
“I’m going to lose my hard on.” Jack warned.
You pressed yourself into him, cupping your breasts in your hands over and stared Jack down. “Are you really?”
Jack’s eyes were filled with lust and you felt sexier than you had in months. You were joking with this seductive pose, but seeing how much he wanted you was a huge confidence boost. You bit your lip, continuing to give him a sultry stare.
“F-ck…” Jack shook his head. “I’m so bricked up right now. I hate you. I love you, but I hate you. F-ck you.”
“I thought that’s what we were doing here…” You joked.
Jack smirked at you. “You’re right…”
He leaned back and pulled his waist band down just enough to free himself. You stared down at his cock, unable to remember the last time you saw him this hard. He was already leaking with pre-cum and his head looked angry and red.
“I don’t have a condom.” You said.
Jack gave you a look as he stared down at your naked, rounded belly and then back at your eyes. You both chuckled. There was a lightness in the air that you hadn’t felt ina long time. Jack calmed you and you were thrilled to have him back in your life.
You raised your hips and Jack steadied you by holding onto them. You reached down and placed his tip at your entrance with one hand and twisted the crotch of you underwear to the side with the other. You sunk down on to him with a low moan. Jack grunted as he bit his lip so hard, you thought he would draw blood. You bounced on Jack lightly, trying to find a rhythm. You were worried it would take Jack a moment to adjust to your new weight, but he didn’t seem to notice. His hips lifted to meet yours effortlessly, coaxing you to come down harder and faster.
“God damn…” Jack swore under his breath. “I’m trying so hard to be quiet, princess, but you feel so good around me.”
“I missed feeling you inside me.” You confessed.
Jack reached between you two to play with your clit, making you grip his shoulders. He watched you bouncing on top of him, his eyes filled with adoration. His unwavering expression was making it hard to keep eye contact so, you closed your eyes and leaned your head back. Jack took the opportunity to suck on one of your breasts.
“If you do all of that I’m gonna come.” You groaned.
Jack let go of your breast with a pop. “It’s taking all of my willpower not to explode inside of you right now. The faster you cum, the better it is for both of us.” With that he went back to sucking on your other breast this time, taking in more of your breast in his mouth like he was actually trying to milk you.
You dug your fingernails into his shoulders as your orgasm crashed into you. You squeezed him tightly and Jack’s hands jumped to your lower back to support you. He helped you to ride through your orgasm and it wasn’t long until you felt the warm rush of his release filling you up. Jack let go of your nipple to kiss you deeply, his tongue immediately swirling yours. You swallowed each other’s moans as you held each other tightly until you both stopped shaking from pleasure.
Jack helped you lift off of him. He laid you on your back and got to work cleaning you up. He removed your underwear and got you a tissue to up the mix of your juices that settled between your folds. He got some of the baby wipes off your vanity to wipe down the thin layer of sweat that developed on your skin. He pulled on a fresh pair of underwear too.
Jack held a tub of cocoa butter over you so you could see it laying down. “Should I put this on too?”
You smiled. “I use it for my belly. It’s supposed to help the stretch marks, but honestly it just feels nice.”
Jack immediately unscrewed the top and lovingly massaged cocoa butter on your stomach and breasts. He took his time, laying soft kisses on the stretched skin. You could tell he was truly enamored with your body and not only in a lustful sense.
“You’re so beautiful…” Jack reminded you as he helped you sit up. He pecked your lips before helping you to get dressed. Once you were ready, he adjusted his own appearance in the mirror.
“Shall we go downstairs and share the good news?”
“That you have a serious breeding kink?” You teased.
“No…” Jack rolled his eyes. “That you’re going to be Mrs. Y/n Harlow.”
“Of course…” You laid back down. “After my nap.”
Jack smiled. He waited until you got comfortable before putting himself around you to snuggle you into him. Watching you sleep contently helped to lift a weight that had been on his chest.
Jack knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. He hurt you and broke your trust. He was going to have to show you he was a changed man. But seeing you laying in his arms, his future child in your stomach, he couldn’t imagine how he thought he would be able to stay away from you. Or worse, leave the chance for another man raise his child in his stead. No, you were his world and he was ready to protect you with everything he had. As a husband and a father.
#jack harlow#jack harlow blurb#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow x reader#r-writes-fic
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Favourite fandom trope of the day: wisdom teeth removal
#byler#stranger things#will byers#mike wheeler#artovna#if you ever write a wisdom teeth removal fic a) feel free to link it to me and b) you have my heart#silliest trope ever#also I’ve been thinking about this trope extra hard since the first time I tumbled upon r/ambien
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can I request eddie and shy!reader with reader’s first kiss?! I imagine he’d be so gentle with her!
I want him to be my first kiss so bad!! waiting for him to be real so he can kiss me tbh
summary: eddie gives shy!you your first kiss
shy!fem!reader 0.9k words
Eddie thinks you look really pretty.
He’d tell you so but he’s already told you twice tonight, and he’s pretty sure if he says it again you’ll burst into flames on the spot. You’re quite shy — it’s endearing and very adorable but it also means Eddie has to be more careful of what he says and does. He wouldn’t want to scare you off.
He watches you pore over a book, sitting cross-legged on his bed. He badly wants to tell you how lovely you look. In a t-shirt that’s too big for you and a pair of sweatpants. Your hair all messy pretty and tucked behind your ears. He holds his tongue, turning back to the old band tee he’s hacking the sleeves off on his bedroom floor.
“Eddie?”
Your voice breaks the comfortable silence you and Eddie had been sitting in. Eddie puts down his scissors and looks up. He likes the way you’ve said his name, like he’s the only person ever. He’s sure he sounds similar when he says your name. He smiles at you.
“Yeah?”
You shuffle forwards on his bed, sliding to the edge until your legs dangle off. Eddie’s struck, yet again, by how beautiful you are. It takes all the breath out of his chest.
“Um.” You pause then, and get this nervous look on your face. Eddie knows it well. You’re often nervous around him.
He sits up straighter. By the looks of it you’re wanting to tell him something. Or ask him something. “Yeah, honey?”
Your eyes flick to Eddie and then back to your hands where they’re twisted in your lap. Eddie sees the tap tap tap of your foot, the wringing of your hands. He shuffles forward on the floor and gets a hand on your knee, fingers curling around the bottom of your thigh.
“What is it?” He asks softly.
When you answer your staring at your lap, determined to avoid Eddie’s eyes.
“Well … I just. I was reading that part in The Princess Bride, the bit about the five kisses? And I just wondering …” You reach up and scrub the back of your neck awkwardly. “Why haven’t we kissed yet?”
Eddie balks. He was not expecting that. It’s a big question — for you to ask and for Eddie to answer. He has his own reasons. The biggest one being he’s afraid to scare you off, to mess up maybe the best thing in his life right now. Not only that, but he knows how tentative you are about relationship stuff. It’s all new to you.
The silence stretches too long. Eddie rushes to break it before you think he’s gone and backed out on you.
“Oh.” He says, more flustered than he’s ever been with you. Normally you’re the flustered one. He’s realising now how hard it is being on the receiving end. “Well, um. I … I guess—“
“Do you not want to?” You ask quietly, interrupting Eddie’s rambling.
Eddie stops short. “What?” He stares up at you. He can hardly believe you think that. Of course he wants to kiss you — he’d kind of thought you wouldn’t want him to. “No. No, sweetheart, that’s not it. I just. Well, I just wanted to wait until you were ready … “ He pauses, catches the look on your face, like you’re waiting for something to happen. “Are you ready?”
You bite your lip. Not for the first time, Eddie wonders what it would be like to kiss your lips. You nod very slowly.
“I think so,” you say. You’re staring at his mouth now.
Eddie nods so quick he almost snaps his neck. He hardly cares.
“Okay,” he says earnestly. He scrambles to his feet and then moves to stand in front of you, your knees pressing into his legs.
You blink up at him. Eddie can’t resist taking your face in his hands. Your skin is hot to touch. He imagines his face would feel the same.
“You’re really pretty,” he says despite himself. Even though he’d promised not to tell you again until at least tomorrow.
“Eddie,” you chide softly.
Eddie just grins. “Are you sure you want to?” He asks you, struggling to hear himself over the thump of his heart in his ears. He very much wants to give you a Princess Bride worthy kiss right now.
You nod around his hands. “I’m sure,” you say.
Eddie leans in then. His hands on your face, pulling you gently towards him. His eyelids fluttering shut. It feels different but it feels right. He’s about half a second away from kissing you when you say,
“Wait.”
Eddie opens his eyes. You’re so close he could count your eyelashes.
“What?” He whispers back.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” you say. Your breath fans over Eddie’s mouth, your lips ghosting over his. It takes all his might not to kiss you right then and there. “I don’t know how,” you admit.
“That’s okay,” Eddie tells you. It is okay. And he’s maybe a lot more honoured than he should be that he’s gonna be your first kiss. “You’ll learn.”
“You’ll teach me?”
Eddie looks at you and thinks yeah, he’ll teach you. He’ll do literally anything you could ever ask of him. “Of course, angel.”
“Okay,” you say. You smile and Eddie thinks if he doesn’t kiss you now he might pass out.
He kisses you. He doesn’t pass out but he comes pretty close.
-
#does the princess bride refernce make sense idk#also can u tell eds and shy!r is like my fav thing to write ever#★ mal writes!#ღ eds#eddie munson#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson drabble#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie munson x shy!reader#eddie munson x shy!reader fluff#eddie munson blurbs#eddie munson drabbles#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson headcanons#✉️
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fragile.
' you have broken down my defenses, and i don’t really resent it. '
- vita sackville west
in which you really don't want to care about him and his careless attitude, but you always find yourself coming back to him. always.
feat. diluc ragnvindr & gn!reader
w.c : 5k
warnings : childhood friends to lovers, diluc lore spoilers, minor angst but ends w fluff, diluc ragnvindr.
note : happy new year! sorry for the delay hehe, but this is for @seraphiism's 2023 collab event !! please support the other authors and enjoy the fic ^^
your mother had always instructed you to stay close to her side, to never stray far away from her lest you find yourself in trouble with the master of the winery or the other servants working the orchards and tending to the land of the estate.
but with a beautiful land of ripe grapes and friendly staff greeting you as you rush past them, how could you ever just sit still beside your mother as she did her job around the winery?
the late summer breeze rushes past your face as you weave through the wooden stakes holding the wiry vines of grapes above you. the warm sun rays heat your skin as you leap over the small rocks that litter the passage leading into the main area of the ragnvindr estate. the wind whispers in your ear, making you grin as your little legs take you wherever it guides you.
you feel free, the wind pushing past your wings to lead you to your newest adventure around the manor.
your feet land firmly on the grounds behind the manor when you hear the gentle sniffles coming from behind a couple of barrels. despite your mother's warnings echoing in your head, you take gentle steps towards the sound as curiosity takes over.
you're not expecting to see a young boy with fiery red hair and matching eyes that hold the warmest, flickering fire glaring up at you with tears at the corner of his eyes and holding a bleeding knee.
"...are you okay?" you ask, kneeling down beside him. you begin to frown when he pulls his knee away from you and his glare deepens.
"i don't need your help," the young boy hisses at you and you roll your eyes.
"really? you don't need my help even though you're crying in a corner all by yourself?" you scoff at him. he doesn't say anything in retaliation and you take it as an okay for you to help him.
you pull a handkerchief from your pocket; nothing too fancy as your family couldn't afford the finest silks like the nobles could. it's cotton, white, and had a simple design of a little sparrow emroidered in the corner.
"i don't have any bandages on me," you mumble softly. your little fingers gently wrap the handkerchief around the young boy's knee several times before tying a small knot on it. without even blinking, you lean down to kiss the wounded knee.
"what are you doing?!" the young boy exclaims, yanking his knee away.
"kissing it better," you say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "my mother always does that when i get hurt. she says it takes the pain away and makes it heal faster."
"that's stupid," the boy mumbles with a glare.
"says the one who tripped and fell and hurt himself," you argue back. you stick your tongue out when the boy shouts out a 'hey!' and roll your eyes.
"who are you and what are you doing here anyways?" you ask the young boy, kneeling beside him once more. he's still glaring at you, but it's less hostile than it was a few moments ago. "my mom said strangers aren't allowed to be here."
the young boys eyes are red, vibrantly so. the life in them burn brightly, reminding you of a fire as it flickers with warmth and a promise of a brighter tomorrow. like the hearth of a fireplace, the young boy seems to be the incarnate of warmth itself with the way he's filled with the flame of life.
"i live here, dummy," he quips back at you with a frown and your eyes widen.
"really? i've never seen you around, and i've been everywhere on this estate," you reply, bringing your thumb and forefinger to your chin as you remain deep in thought. truly, the only people you've managed to catch were all adults working for the master of this winery. never once have you seen a kid running along.
with a bright smile of your own, you lean towards the young boy. "we should be friends! since i don't know anyone else to play with here, we can play!"
the boy looks you up and down with furrowed brows, but he slowly nods. "...okay," he mumbles and you grin brighter.
"great! what's your name then? i'm-"
your name is shouted as hurried footsteps rush towards you. your mother pulls you aside as she looks at the young boy in front of you with panicked eyes.
"young master, i'm so sorry if my child said or did anything to hurt you," your mother says in a rush. she pushes your head down to bow in front of the young boy. she hisses something into your ear and you stutter out your own apology too, even if you did nothing wrong.
you find out the young boy you helped earlier that day was the son of the nobleman your mother works for, diluc ragnvindr. apparently, he's some big deal because he's the young master, but what kind of big deal hurts himself and hides between the barrels instead of asking for help?
you huff as you kick your feet sitting down by your bedside. because of the whole debacle, your mother had ordered you to stay inside to prevent even more debacles from happening even if you explained that the young master getting injured was not your fault. the sun shining from your windowsill feels so far away as you stare outside and ponder what to do.
until you hear a light pattering sound come from your window.
your curiosity is piqued as your small frame approaches the glass panes, wide eyes peeking over the wooden frame as your eyes scan the scenery.
the foliage of the trees surrounding your home cast shadows over your house with small animals running back and forth from the greenery above, causing the rustling of the leaves. the sun trickles in through the gaps of the leaves and your eyes settle on the boy with red hair standing outside your window, a small rock in his hand.
there's a proper bandage on his knee now as it was properly dressed, and his fiery eyes meet yours. he looks hesitant at first, but his brows furrow and his lips open to prepare to speak.
"...come outside and play with me," he tells you when you push open the window in your bedroom, a slight pout in his voice.
"you got me in trouble," you reply shortly, "and now i'm stuck inside because of you."
the young boy bites his lip, pondering what he could do or say to make things better. from the way he's thinking hard enough for you to see steam coming out of his ears, you could tell that he was trying really hard to think of anything to say.
"i'm sorry," he mumbles, kicking the dirt with his shoe.
"sorry, what was that?" you ask, holding your ear out.
the young master huffs, his cheeks puffed out in annoyance. he stomps his foot before-
"i said 'i'm sorry'!"
you smile at him smugly before crossing your arms on the windowsill. it was amusing to see the supposed young master like this; for such a renowned young boy, he was such a cry baby.
"okay, i can't go outside, but we can still play inside if that's okay," you tell him with a bright smile. "i'll let you in!"
"diluc..." he says, red eyes meeting yours. he reminds you of a fire with the way he's looking at you; so full of life but almost burning you if you get him too riled up. but the flames are tame now compared to the anxious flickers you saw earlier before he apologized.
"okay; i'll let you in then, diluc!"
ever since that warm summer, you and diluc have been inseparable; every afternoon is spent exploring the land of the winery but never straying far enough to get lost or end up on the other side of the lake where monsters lurk.
you were there the evening master crepus brought home another young boy around your age home; his blue hair reminding you of the blueberries your mother bought from mondstadt for you to eat. it was a bit of an adjustment with another young boy to play with, but soon you got along well with him as well.
his bright blue eyes always sparkling as you invite him to play alongside diluc and his little hand held in yours. he reminded you of the stars above with the way his eyes twinkle with youth and reflect the night sky above you when the three of you snuck out of your homes to stargaze with your hands holding onto each other until the morning sun began to rise over the horizon.
with your hands held tightly with diluc's and kaeya's, your youth together was only just beginning.
it's a cool morning where the early frost is beginning to melt as the sun continues to rise over the horizon, spreading her warmth and love across the fields of dawn winery. the young master has been gone for a couple days now; something about some sort of knight exam or whatever happening in the city of mondstadt. you would have gone with him, but your duties lie in caring for the winery whilst your friends head off to the heart of mondstadt to finish their training and hopefully become part of the knights of favonius that crepus ragnvindr had always encouraged them to be a part of.
you know having their father's praise meant a lot to your dear friends and you could only hope for the best for both diluc and kaeya as they were off doing their duties.
your ears perk as your name is shouted through the winery along with the sound of hooves rapidly against the dirt road. over in the distance, you can make out a red haired young man galloping over on his steed at near full speed. with wide eyes, you try to tell him to slow down before you get trampled and-
"oof!" you groan as a heavy body slams into you, both his weight and warmth tackling you to the ground. you're thankful that his arms cradled your head as you both go tumbling into the dirt road underneath you and the only pain was that of your body against the floor.
you don't even get to question why diluc had tackled you to the floor when he pulls his face away from you, giving you a clear view of his expression. he's smiling brightly, a wide grin on his face and his eyes of rubies twinkling brighter than any flame you've ever seen. the flames of his soul flicker brilliantly in his excitement and you can't help your own match his energy.
"i got in!" diluc says, his boyish smile growing wider. the small divots in his cheeks are cute and evidence of how hard he was grinning at the news. "i passed the trials got to do the oath swear and- oh, i wish you could've been there!"
despite growing up into a more mature-ish teen, it is moments like these where you're reminded that even as time passes and he grows taller than you, diluc is still the bright eyed boy that you've known since you were young. he looks so cute, in an endearing way, when he eagerly tells you all about his trials and how tough they were.
you really hope that the young master stays the same as he is now.
with a gentle hand, you reach up to ruffle his hair; it's soft to the touch and your eyes don't miss the way diluc pauses in his excitement as your fingers weave into his hair. you assume it's because he's not used to your praise and brush it off, even as he leans into your touch and waits for your words.
"why don't we head inside first? i want to hear everything that happened, but inside where it's warm and comfortable rather than on the dirt floor, diluc," you say to him, a slight lilt in your voice. you laugh softly when you see his cheeks flush a little in embarrassment before he gets off of you.
"i apologize, i was just so eager to tell you," diluc says softly, reaching down to offer a hand to you. you take his hand; you can feel the natural warmth emanating from his body through his gloves and, before you know it, you've been pulled up from the ground. his arm wraps around your waist to assure that you're balanced as you stand up.
"i just," diluc begins. you watch him as the young master of the winery averts his gaze briefly before he meets yours, warm rubies enveloping you with nothing but the comfort he holds for you ever since you were both younger.
"i wanted you to be the first person i told and to tell you."
a wave of something pleasant washes over you knowing that diluc, the heir of dawn winery and one of the most hardworking and talented man in all of mondstadt, rushed back home on horseback in the early hours of this chilly morning just to announce the news to you in person.
just so he could be your first in regards to his good news.
you laugh softly as something warm settles into the pit of your heart, squeezing his hand in yours as you tug him towards the main mansion of the winery estate with no intentions of letting his go for the time being.
even with the budding flowers of youth begin to bloom and the happiness that was promised to you has yet to come, you would have never expected for the spring of your youth to end so abruptly.
it happened all so quickly; crepus ragnvindr wielding a delusion, his death and the anger of diluc exploding, and the fall of your friendship with kaeya and diluc.
you weren't given the details of either one's situation, just a witness of a near death experience and the unforgiven apologies spewing from kaeya's lips as he held his injured eye in the midst of the rain washing down on them as if mourning both the loss of crepus ragnvindr and the wound wedged deep between the relationship of the ragnvindr brothers.
it was like in a mere second, the once warm diluc that would blush and hold your hand so delicately had been wiped away and replaced by a diluc grieving the loss of his father as the flames of his anger and betrayal of both his own brother and the knights of favonius for trying to brush the murder of his father under the rug explode and engulf his entire being.
he doesn't even give you a proper goodbye, leaving only a letter dedicated to you and his vision dimly glowing on his nightstand behind.
it feels like a fever dream when you hear the news of diluc finally returning after all of these years. you don't even hear it from the man himself; rather, from the whispers and excited chatter that the master of dawn winery had returned home.
part of you is excited at the news that he's alive; with no news of his existence after he ran from home in search of the truth behind his father's death other than the faint glow and warmth radiating from his vision clutched in your hands when you missed and worried for him, you were ecstatic knowing that he truly was home now.
that he's alive and breathing and still with you.
and yet, another part of you twinges in pain that he didn't come to you and announce that he was home. he had left you without even a single goodbye, not even bothering to visit you and explain his situation before leaving you questioning whether or not he even cared about how you felt about him.
of course, you aren't entitled to being the first to know, but after growing up together and usually being the first to know of everything in your youth, your heart aches knowing you were one of the last to hear of this at the winery.
it doesn't help knowing that you have not even caught a glimpse of diluc after his supposed return.
so imagine your surprise coming home one evening, the cool night air biting against your skin as you return home after a long day's work, seeing a figure leaning against your home.
at first, your blood turns cold as your heart races in your ears; it couldn't be anyone bad... the winery is a safe place and any suspicious figures are dealt with accordingly before they even step close to the winery grounds. you don't even have anything to defend yourself against if they did happen to be someone with malicious intent.
you take a step back to turn tail back to the estate but freeze when you begin to recognize the figure outside your door; red curls resembling that of flames flickering in the air and warm ruby eyes that you could recognize anywhere. despite standing in the dim evening light and having only the glow of the lantern outside of your home, you could make out the injuries through his dark clothing.
just what did he get himself into?
you hesitate at first, but eventually let your instincts take control as you begin to walk over to your home. it's as if you were both in the blooming stages of your youth again, bringing diluc home to mend his wounds after training for the knight exams.
caring for him was like muscle memory to you, even after all of the events leading to him leaving you in the dust.
you don't say a word as you open the wooden door and guide diluc in, pulling out a chair by the fireplace. wordlessly, he sits in it as you leave to prepare to clean his wounds.
your fingers shake ever so slightly as you remove diluc's coat from his shoulders, the heavy fabric falling to the floor with a thud. you apologize softly as you begin to unbutton his shirt and, as each button is undone and reveals more of his skin, your fingers begin to flinch every time your skin brushes against the skin of his chest.
his breath is warm, you can feel it against your skin as you slide off the remaining clothes on his torso. his chest is bare to you, and normally you would be gawking at how much he has physically changed since you were younger. but you cannot help but stare at how much he had been injured in the last few years you have seen him.
aside from the scratches from the most recent scuffle which led him to your quaint home beside his manor, scars litter his chest and arms. although most of them are healed, the damage that he had experienced was still evident on his skin and you hold back a gasp at how deep some of them had been; there's a huge scar that runs diagonally from the top of his chest to his stomach and you could already feel your stomach churning at the pain.
you couldn't imagine having to sustain those injuries for so long, and being alone through it all.
and, now, you hope that the injuries currently on his body heal faster knowing that he isn't alone this time. not when he has you by his side.
diluc's eyes burn holes into your skull as he watches you dip a towel into the bucket of warm water at your side; you pretend to ignore him. twisting the soaked cloth to rid it of the excess water, you gently begin to clean the wounded man in front of you.
a man you consider an old friend, but you fear he doesn't hold the same sentiment. not anymore.
it's quiet, the only sound shared between the two of you being the occasional sound of the towel dumped back into the bucket and the crackling of the fireplace in your living space. the moon casts her illuminating rays through the window of your home, but her light is nothing compared to the comfort of the fire in your home.
the comfort of the man in front of you, even if you didn't want to ever admit it to him now.
the glass jars containing the disinfecting ointment for diluc's wounds clink gently as you open them to spread over his skin.
"why are you helping me?" his voice breaks the thick silence between you two. his sudden question makes your hands pause, but you don't raise your head as you think of something to reply.
"and let an old friend bleed to death outside my door? you think i'm that heartless, diluc?" you ask him. your fingers resume their previous job of slathering the medicine over his new wounds. "i could say the same to you, why show up to my house like this?"
another silence follows your words and you assume he's done interrogating you for your kindness to him.
"i had nowhere else to turn to," diluc says after a while. your eyes catch his fists tighten on his lap as he takes another breath. "you've shown me nothing but kindness even after i was so cruel to you."
you exhale softly at his words. of course he thinks dealing with his own problems this entire time was the worst thing he could do to you. if you were being honest, it did hurt when he seemingly pretended you didn't exist or pushed you away when he had returned home from whatever he was dealing with away from mondstadt.
you had hoped for a joyful reunion, one filled with tears as you finally welcome home your old friend. but he never announced when he was coming home and you only figured out through the grapevine. he was never home when you looked for him and when you finally caught a glimpse of him, your eyes would meet for barely a second before he rushed off elsewhere and leaving you in the dust.
according to kaeya, his brother whom you've kept in touch with throughout the years. diluc had changed even more ever since his return; he kept his feelings to himself and his face remained 'constipated,' as per kaeya's words, due to his inner turmoil.
but from everyone else, he had always been so kind to them. the old women in the city would always praise how gentle the young master was, helping them walk across the city or carrying their groceries if they needed it. the young women also constantly swooned over how mysterious, yet warm-hearted diluc was; seemingly cold in nature but treating children and animals with such tenderness.
"it did hurt knowing you were ignoring me," you confess as your fingers begin to unravel the gauze to wrap over his wounds. "even if you wanted everyone to think you've changed and have become cold and guarded, i know you're still the same caring boy i've known since we were young. i hope so, at least."
his skin is warm to the touch, another feature you realize has never changed about your old friend. with bated breath, you lift your head to let your gaze finally settle on diluc's own. just as you predicted, despite the physical changes, you can still see the diluc you once knew within the scarred and older man in front of you.
diluc has definitely gotten older; the baby fat on his face slimming down slightly to reveal a more defined jaw and the bags under his eyes were evidence of his restless nights away from mondstadt. there are light scars on his face, nothing too deep to keep from his princely demeanor but are definitely proof of a troubling journey, and he has grown taller than the last time you had seen him in your youth.
but one thing that has never changed is the fire the lights up his eyes. so red and warm, you're tempted to hold his face in your hands to get a closer look. they're so vibrant, alive like the embers that flicker in the fireplace that lights your home, as they stare back at you in anticipation of your next words.
"you would never intend to hurt me on purpose. so if i should have to wait forever for you to be ready to come to me like you've had in the past, i don't mind doing so."
diluc's stoic expression wavers at your words. a sliver of guilt shines in his eyes and he looks away briefly as he digests the words you've spoken to him.
he couldn't tell you the reasons why he always kept you at arm's length; was he wary of your intentions for always being kind to him despite how he treated you or was he so used to people close to him lying to his face that he feared you were also pulling a facade?
or was he scared of you sharing the same fate as his family should he loved you with his heart on his sleeve, a fate of being held in his arms as he feels the warmth that once comforted him when you were young fade away like the embers in the hearth of a fireplace?
diluc did not want to know and he did not need to know, not when you're looking at him with such trust and compassion that he finds it hard to even hold any distrust towards you.
his dear friend from his youth who was always there to pick him up when he fell.
you did not break through the walls shielding diluc's heart for you had already found your place beside it, holding he's life with your gentle hands and protecting his soul's flames with your faith in him.
"i'm sorry," diluc apologizes to you, looking into your eyes. one of your hands is grabbed to be held by him, rough and scarred and so calloused as it held the memories and grief of what he went through to become like the man in front of you, the gauze held in your other. his warmth seeps into your skin, heating up your skin as the flames of his heart grow and encase your entire being within its embrace.
your lips part to say something, but he continues to speak.
"i thought keeping you away would benefit us both," he takes a breath as his eyes scan over your own features, taking in all that has changed since the last time he saw you in your adolescent years; how much you've grown both physically and emotionally. you look so much more mature than the naughty child who ran around breaking their mother's rules just to play with him or the dear friend who would bicker with him endlessly during their teenage years.
the years of their beautiful youth, years that he wished so dearly he could go back to and live in that peace for eternity.
but while the winds continue to blow and move time along, you've continued to stay the same despite the change.
you're still so kind, so inviting to someone like him.
you treat him like the friend you've remembered in your adolescence, even if his hands were bloodied with vengeance and his heart is scarred and wounded from betrayal and deceit.
he is still diluc, just diluc in your bright and beautiful eyes; he always had been.
his hands squeeze yours tightly, hoping that he has the courage to say what he wants to say.
"i don't deserve your kindness, or your love. but if i imagine a life where i have succeeded in pushing you away and we no longer talk," diluc begins, the fire in his eyes wavering as they hold your gaze.
"i don't think i would ever want to live a life where you're not in it."
diluc's words shake you to your core; it's something you wouldn't expect him to say now after all these years. as much as you want to immediately forgive him and push back the years of agony, waiting for any sign that he was alive while leaving his vision behind, or even watching as he ignores you despite being home after all these years, your heart aches knowing knowing he even did this to you in the first place.
"how can i know that you won't leave me like you did?" your voice is small despite being so close to him. in fear of having him see how much his actions have affected you, you face tilts down to your lap to avoid his gaze. "i can't just wait for you forever, it hurts sitting here all these years with a promise i don't even know if you'll keep."
you take a shaky breath as you speak again.
"you didn't even say goodbye."
your voice breaks as you say those words and you can feel the burning sensation as the tears threaten to spill over your eyes.
there's a moment of silence between the two of you before you hear him gently call out your name. his free hand reaches up to cup your face, tentatively guiding you to face him. he says your name again, softly as if even saying your name too harshly would cause you to break, and you hesitantly meet his gaze.
there's a tenderness that you recognize deep in those fiery pools in his eyes, one that flickers like the hearth of your fireplace and suddenly you feel like you're experiencing the most beautiful yet fleeting moment in life once more. diluc's thumb gently presses against your cheek to wipe away any tears that overflowed from your already wet eyes.
his pinky links with your own, a childish thing to do but one that you still hold dear to your own heart.
a promise between the two of you bathed in firelight and your youth reflected back at you in the shape of the young man sitting before you.
#diluc x reader#diluc ragnvindr x reader#genshin x reader#diluc fluff#diluc fics#didi writes#seraphiism'23#events !!#this was fun!!#sorry this is really late TT life is life-ing o(-(#n e wayz; i do think diluc would b such an annoying kid LOL#b r a t to the core#but he mellows out and all that fun stuff later#happy new year everyone ! i hope you enjoyed my (late) work !!
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[WVW Exchange Event 2023!]
"The kisses on your lash, your ears, on the nose that keeps scrunching. The kisses on your hand, on your cheeks, and the exchanging soft words waiting for the break of day."
----- ID under break -----
A total of 6 pages of comics, starting with a close up shots of vash kissing sleeping wolfwood's nose, eyes, lashes, and he furrows them a bit. an overhead shot of the two of them in a motel room, on the bed with vash leaning over wolfwood from the left, laying soft kisses on him. their legs tangled. their normal outfits are thrown haphazardly on the floor, instead donning comfortable clothes. on the outside, the very first ray of lights are yet to shine.
"what a face you're making pfft" - vash says as he grabs both of wolfwood's cheeks, squeezing them a bit. wolfwood mumbles, "There's something that keeps landing on my face, it tickles." he grabs the hand that is on his right cheek. "Well you're letting it happens anyways right?" Vash muses, bringing the hand up to kiss on its knuckles. "Good morning Wolfwood. It's almost dawn"
"… Isn't it way too soon?" - wolfwood asks, but keeps to himself the prayers he's sending to god because the the boy on top of him was such a sight to behold. Vash flops down onto him, leaving the hand hanging and lace his own hand into Wolfwood's hair, peppering kisses to the side of his face. "Yep" - he answers - "But you woke up on your own tho" - facetiously. He giggles, saying that it was a joke after a beat of silence. A sigh, "don't make me upside you first thing in the morning." Wolfwood closes his eyes, hand combing through golden strands. "Heh, how merciful~" "We have a meet up with Milly and Meryl today, remember?" Vash reminds him, which does raise some vague memory. wolfwood hums, the other hand reaching around vash's torso, hugging him. " So, the sooner we arrive, the less likely she'll chew through my head." - Vash adds. "riiiight. And you were SO urgent in waking me up." in wolfwood's hold, both of them slowly turn to the right, towards the edge of the bed.
Well, you were just soooo cute, I couldn't help it! didn't thinkk you'll actually wakE UAA-!"
the bed creaks under the sudden shift in weight as wolfwood tosses vash over and under him, arms firmly hugging him, one at his back and one at his head, hungrily dives down to kiss. "!! Wolf-! Wait-!" Vash yelps, leg instinctively curls around the other's man hip to hang on, trying his damnest to grip on his shirt as HE is now half airborne, barely has any contact with the bed on his upper body. However, wolfwood seems to have another idea as he keeps deepening the kiss, pointedly holding Vash close, hands spread guarding the back of his head as both of them are sliding off the soft fabric.
"THUD!" a resounding fall, possibly enough to wake the room downstairs, followed shortly by laboured breaths amist wet smacks of lips. Heaves and huffs of air exchanging between the two bodies when the need to breath made itself necessary. They press close, cradling each other, and are lost to their own world.
After a while they had to part. Metal arm shifts through black locks, caressing down to his nape and they hold eye contacts there, with lidded eyes, strands of saliva thins then breaks.
Wolfwood pushes up on his arms, looking smugly down at his now disheveled partner: "Now this is how it's done, Needlenoggin." he remarks. Vash tries to wrangle his thoughts back in order, but strings of Wolfwood's name and a wonderous question keeps filling his mind, of whether he should risk it all and have fun for a bit more. Regardless, snapping out of his trance, Vash sourly asks, with a wry smile and an aching head: "But did you really need to roll off the bed?"
"Wrong side, whoops" - Wolfwood anwers unseriously, laughing as he finds the situation quite amusing.
----- End of ID -----
#sorry if the ID is weird it happens everytime i tried to ID my comics it turned into psuedo-fics-#the cap is the prompt btw#the exchange is basically secret santa except it was in may lol#it was incredibly fun to work on this!!#and originally i drafted this to be like 4 pages and it got longer and l o n g e r and i was like oh no#all is good i made the deadline dont worry#yeah only some ten minutes left before it was overdue lol#oh and the event was last month i just procrastinated and didnt post it on anywhere except fb mb#half the reason was because i do NOT know how to ID and half way through it was feeling like writing a fic and that took. time#didn't help that i started writing when i was very sleepy and basically forgot about it for weeks#wElL aNyWAys#hope you enjoy this <3#i really really love the prompts that i was given there were 3 in total but i only did one#they were all superb#vashwood#woodvash#wvw#vwv#wv#vw#trimax#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#vash the stampede#vash trimax#wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#wolfwood trimax#wvw exchange event 2023
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where you lead me, i’ll follow ; suguru geto
synopsis; opening up is hard, even under the comfort of a starry sky, seated next to your childhood friend. fortunately, suguru knows you like the back of his hand.
word count; 10k (dont even look at me i got carried away ok….)
contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader, mutual pining, childhood friends to lovers (eventually. probably.), hurt/comfort (mostly comfort tbh), fluffy overall!!, reader is silly and suguru is down horrendous, written with a no curses au in mind, i’m madly in love with suguru geto and it shows
a/n; nothing goes harder than sugu w/ the childhood friends trope i fear. the angst potential, the fluff potential….. the slow burn of it all……….. anyways can u tell i miss him :’3
time goes by so very quickly.
as you look up at the starry sky, the thought envelops you like a fuzzy tidal wave; heavy, suffocating, entirely unavoidable. these days, sinking beneath its weight is all you seem to do.
a sigh flows from your parted lips. soft and quiet, somewhat resigned. the midnight air tastes cold and crispy on your tongue, turning into a flurry of vapour as you breathe it out again, watching it dissipate into the summer night. beyond the boundary of your vision, stars burn in tandem. all you can see is the darkness of the cosmos, pupils dilating as you take in the immensity of the world, the little flickers of starlight that glimmer in that all-encompassing veil of black — blooming out across the galaxy.
the moon is beautiful, tonight.
a big blob of reflected sunlight, smiling down at you so very tenderly, so gorgeous that it makes your heart ache. shining with a hazy kind of brightness, soothing like the lilt of a mother’s voice.
and there’s a comfort, in the familiarity of the sight. because the moon is always, always there. always shining down on you, always when you need it most, even when it’s carved into a crescent or hidden by a blur of clouds. a view that never ever seems to change, no matter how many years go by.
what a lovely thing to be.
another second lost, as you gaze into the nothingness of space. time keeps passing you by, never stopping — seconds turning into minutes, minutes turning into months. that incessant moving of the hands of the clock; tick, tock, tick, tock. over and over again.
and, really, it’s a little bit scary. you think you might be terrified of time. you’re so afraid, afraid of being left behind, afraid that the world will turn its back on you and then walk away. afraid that everyone and everything will change shape before you know it.
but even in this always-changing, turbulent mess of a life —
one thing remains the same.
”ah. there you are.”
(that voice.)
honeyed and smooth, but still rough around the edges. just a little husky. deep and familiar, etched into your brain; even if you were to forget everything else, you’re sure you’d still remember it. that familiar, familiar voice. it sounds like moonlit nights, and sunkissed kitchens.
it sounds like coming home.
a turn of your head. it’s a subconscious reaction, as natural as the beating of your own heart, memorized down to the very marrow of your bones — muscle memory, to seek him out after hearing the low timbre of his voice. you do it as if it’s the only thing worth hearing.
and suguru is smiling, when your eyes meet his. that gentle upward tug of his lips, small yet sincere. the one that always puts your mind at ease.
a warmth settles in your chest, at the sight of him. hair down, cascading over his shoulders and back, a little messy; as black as the night sky. a stark contrast to the white of his shirt, old, oversized, with some indie band on the front.
his eyes glimmer like little pockets of stardust in the darkness of the night. cutting through the haze, into your very soul.
”… damn,” you click your tongue, faux pout playing at your lips. ”how’d you know i’d be up here?”
suguru shrugs. ”lucky guess,” he lies.
of course i knew, he thinks. finding you is his specialty. always has been. like that one time he found you hiding under a table at your twelfth birthday party, or the time he found you crying in the woods when you got lost on your school field trip.
finding you comes easy, to suguru. almost like he’s always seeking you out, subconsciously or otherwise, always paying attention to your movements. you go south, and he follows. you go north, and he’s already waiting up ahead.
he’s worried. just a bit, is what he tells himself, but truthfully it’s more than that. because tonight was supposed to be for you. for the both of you, a celebration of your shared graduation — but before he knew it, you had slipped away. seizing the opportunity as soon as people grew too sleepy to notice.
(sadly for you, no amount of fatigue could ever distract him from the lack of your presence.)
you look small, suguru thinks, curled up with your knees to your chest. sitting all alone up on the roof of his home, a place you’d always go to on nights when you couldn’t sleep. together, sharing whispered secrets and hushed laughter until the sun began to rise again.
back then, it felt like the two of you were the only ones awake in the whole world.
(the safest world he’s ever known.)
the distance between you grows narrower, as suguru makes his way over to you — and it always does, at the end of the day. no matter how much time you spend apart, that uncomfortable distance always, always ends up broached. one of you always moves closer. as if it’s unavoidable, two planets spinning around each other’s orbit.
suguru plops down right next to you, crossing his legs and leaning back. his knee bumps against the side of your shoe, and his shoulder grazes yours. it’s natural, as natural as the glow of the moon, this closeness between you. it reminds you of the gentle lapping of ocean waves at your bare ankles; on mellow summer days, comforting and familiar. a warmth that never goes away.
a brief inhale, and your heartbeat settles into a tender rhythm again. the scent that always lingers on suguru’s skin drifts throughout the air, mingling with your own — it can be hard to distinguish between the two, with how often you end up wearing each other’s clothes, but you could never mistake it for anything else. cedarwood and earl gray, with a hint of coconut-scented shampoo. enveloping every single one of your senses, grounding you in a way nothing else can.
leaning just a little closer to him, subconsciously, you let a fond exhale slip from your lips. barely audible. and suguru mimics it.
”of course i knew,” he whispers, voice gone soft. ”i know you.”
(your chest tightens. it doesn’t go away.)
another tiny breath flows into the air, as you gaze up at the stars in wonder. ”… yeah.”
the silence between you is a comfortable one. always has been. a little fickle, always shattered by one of you before long — usually you, though suguru isn’t much better.
but this time, he stays silent.
he’s waiting. you know he is, because he always does. he’s waiting, waiting for you to break the silence first. waiting for you to say something, tell him what’s wrong, explain why you’re up here instead of celebrating with the others. waiting for you to explain why your eyes have looked so tired, this past week.
(you’d like to ask him the same thing. he’s an idiot if he thinks a little makeup is enough to hide those dark circles from you.)
suguru is nothing if not patient. so he waits, unbothered by the silence. admiring the stars, and the flicker of their light. a vague worry simmers in his chest, however, and he can’t stop himself from glancing down at you every now and then.
an insatiable yearning to soothe you gnaws at his heart — but he can’t, not unless you let him.
a sigh drops from your lips, suddenly. deep and heavy, like a rock thrown into the depths of a lake. the silence breaks.
”hey, suguru.”
the man in question doesn’t speak, only emitting an inquisitive hum. he doesn’t look at you, either; a form of respect. knowing you’ll find it easier to get whatever’s bugging you off your chest without him scrutinizing you.
the pads of your fingers tap at the tiles of the roof. an absentminded habit, as you inhale a bit of the midnight air. it tastes like summer. ”do you remember how we first met?”
suguru glances at you, a surprised glint in his eyes. he can’t help himself — unable to resist the temptation of seeing your face, drinking in your expression.
then he chuckles.
”haha.. are you feeling sentimental?” he teases, a lighthearted sense of amusement in his voice. bubbling up like seafoam. ”did you come out here just to brood?”
the corners of his lips quirk up when he hears you huff, hugging your legs closer to your chest with a furrow of your brow. cheek squished against your kneecap as you meet his gaze.
”c’mon,” you whine, pouting childishly in a way you know will make him give in. ”just indulge me a little…”
suguru smiles. it’s soft around the edges, smoothed over with an unmistakable fondness — and he does indulge you. he always does. ”of course i do,” he assures you.
the silence that settles between your words is tender. a mutual understanding, of sorts.
of course i remember. how could i not?
”you broke into my backyard.”
a sigh. heavy and sharp, as it tumbles from your lips, and suguru has to bite back a grin. his eyes shine with something teasing, in the dark, when you shoot a glare his way.
”okay, first of all —” you begin, ”i didn’t break into anything. i climbed over the fence. peacefully.”
suguru raises a brow. ”that literally doesn’t matter? it’s still trespassing.”
”i was seven years old!”
”some criminals start young.”
another harmless little huff, as you halfheartedly try to sound annoyed. it doesn’t work. in an attempt to hide your growing smile, you tuck your face into your knees. ”whatever.”
then your gaze shifts. towards that expanding starry sky, the vibrant flicker of the moon, like a moth to a flame. helpless to its charms. it looks like a giant sponge cake, the kind you and suguru used to make when that was the only recipe you knew — you’d eat from the batter, and he’d scold you. then he’d do it too, when your back was turned.
a smile settles on your lips. in every star, you find a new memory; and the fuzzy nostalgia that engulfs you makes your heart feel bare. ”i just wanted to pet your cat,” you recall, softly.
suguru nods. gazing down at you, basking in the expression on your face — peaceful and relaxed, a little more yourself. so effortlessly pretty, bathed in moonlight. ”yeah. i remember.”
he allows the memory to sweep him away, for a second or two. recalling the sight of you, all those years ago, an unfamiliar child in his backyard. it was like you had just fallen out of the sky. quiet and meek, but looking at his cat with an excited glimmer in your eyes.
”you just pointed to her and expected me to understand,” he continues. a grin blooms on his face, hopelessly endeared. ”you were shy back then.”
a raise of your eyebrow. ”um? i’m still shy?”
suguru gives you a look. he doesn’t have to say anything — it’s written all over his face. the classic suguru look, the kind where you can tell he’s itching to say oh, really now? the kind where he tries to look judgemental, but never quite manages to hide the amusement in his eyes.
a small giggle leaves your lips, and suguru smiles, once more. so helpless in the face of your joy.
”then we watched movies at my place.”
you hum. ”it was fun.”
”yeah.”
another bout of silence. soft, terribly precious. the air is chilly, but not enough to make you shiver; a mild summer night, pleasant on your skin and light on your heart. a gentle breeze tousles your hair. in the distance, you hear cicadas buzzing — a familiar sound. unchanging.
(if only everything else could stay the same, too.)
”do you remember what movie it was?”
a lazy smile plays at suguru’s lips, when he angles his face to look at you. one eyebrow raised. ”is there a point to this, or —?”
”i just wanna reminisce.”
suguru pauses. your eyes trail across the view that stretches out before you, from the moon to the distant city lights, as you fidget absentmindedly with the strings of your hoodie. he thinks to himself that you look a little lost. gaze forgotten, within the depths of that endless night sky.
no more teasing, he decides, tactfully. instead, he opts to answer your question; softly, as if he could hurt you if he raised even a single octave of his voice. ”whisper of the heart,” is all he says.
a hum, as you nod. decisively. ”the best one.”
suguru turns his head away, and mutters something under his breath. but you can still hear him — and you know he wants you to.
”spirited away is the best one…”
out of the corner of your eye, you shoot him a thoroughly unimpressed look. he bites back a soft bout of laughter, teeth sinking into his lip gently, not enough to sting.
”you’re so basic,” you grin.
”you just want to feel quirky,” suguru shoots back, instantaneous. ”and you only like it because of seiji.”
”you only like spirited away because of haku!”
suguru closes his eyes, and leans back a little, crossing his arms in a childish fashion — and you know he only does it to make you laugh. ”i don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies.
”oh please,” you scoff. ”you really think i don’t remember your queer awakening?”
”hm? what was that?” feigning confusion, he puts a hand to his ear. but there’s a mirth in his eyes, impossible to miss. ”you’re gonna have to come closer, i can’t hear you from here.”
another unimpressed look. you exhale, something in between a huff and a chuckle. ”if i get any closer i’ll be in your lap, dumbass.”
suguru bites his cheek, softly. gulping down the words that almost slip off his tongue.
(i wouldn’t mind.)
”sorry, say that again?”
a little push meets his shoulder, as you roll your eyes. ”yeah, yeah. whatever.”
the banter dies down, as fast as it appeared. then a smile breaks out across your faces, in tandem, the atmosphere shifting into something more sincere — and doesn’t it always, when you’re watching the starry sky with the one you love most?
when suguru continues, his voice has taken on that softer tone, again. the one he only ever really uses around you. ”i liked thinking of us as them,” he admits. ”me as haku, and you as chihiro.”
a soft blink. then your smile grows, sweet like syrup. ”.. hehe. that’s funny,” you cross your legs. palms flat against the roof, knee leaning comfortably against suguru’s. ”i always thought of us as seiji and shizuku.”
there’s something faraway, in your eyes. something suguru can’t look away from.
tentatively, his fingers dig into the skin of his palms, and he speaks. absentminded, a little uncertain.
”… they get married at the end, don’t they?”
a pause. then your gaze snaps over to suguru’s, suddenly mischievous — and he regrets opening his mouth.
”oh?” you purr, almost beaming. inching closer, like a predator sizing up their prey. ”oh shit? are you about to propose, mister geto?”
”i’m just stating facts,” he quips, hands raised in defense. desperately hoping you won’t notice the red tint crawling up his neck, obscured by the darkness of the night.
”incorrect facts,” you grin. if you notice the blush on his face, you don’t say anything. ”they get engaged. not married. big difference.”
suguru huffs. it’s small, as he tries to keep himself from smiling. the beating of his heart is faint, a tender rhythm, stirred by every move you make. he pushes the words he yearns to say back down his throat.
(i wouldn’t mind that, either.)
again, silence blooms. curling around the space between you. it feels nice, just to be like this; just you, and your very best friend, under the soft lighting of the moon. as if you’re the only ones who exist, in an otherwise empty universe — devoid of space and time. like the night could just stop, and stretch on forever.
there’s an unspoken question in the air, though. one suguru is still waiting for you to answer. one you refuse to answer properly, until he does the same.
you’ve both noticed, of course. even if no one else has, neither of you could ever miss it. suguru has noticed the turmoil in your eyes, and you’ve noticed the fatigue under his. those little signs of stress, as everything around you keeps spinning on; as the future grows closer, with every passing day.
(it’s overwhelming, you both muse.)
— and finally, you’ve had enough.
”suguru,” you call out, and his gaze finds yours instantly. ”have they been stressing you out, lately?”
suguru blinks, eyelashes fluttering softly. a little sleepy. they.
then he smiles. maybe a bit weak, but still as sincere as always — resigned to the fact that he really can’t hide anything from you, after all.
(of course you’d notice it. he was stupid to think you wouldn’t.)
a hum, as he breathes in the air and then exhales it all. trying to formulate the words inside his head, turn the feelings into syllables. and you’re patient. silent, as you admire the way moonlight caresses his skin.
”i’ll manage.” is what he finally says, and your lips curl down into a frown. ”they’ve just been getting on my case, again. you know how they are.”
suguru closes his eyes, and you inch closer to him. barely, by a hair, just to let him know you’re still listening. that you’re waiting for him to continue.
it’s tough, for him. opening up, being vulnerable.
but he knows you won’t do it unless he does, too. so he takes that leap, despite the insistent voice in his head urging him to just keep it to himself.
”it’s just… all these expectations, you know?” he meets your eyes, a little sheepish. downplaying his troubles so smoothly, as if you wouldn’t notice. ”i’m used to it by now, but sometimes i guess it still gets to me.”
you hum, and he continues.
”i feel like i have to be… solid,” he decides on. ”put-together. responsible, and mature.” a sigh, as he wrings his hands together. ”and that’s fine — but it’s like they have everything planned out. like everyone does. how i should act, where i should go…”
suguru gnaws at the flesh of his bottom lip, so focused on verbalizing his thoughts that he barely notices your fingers curling around his. but he still squeezes them, lightly. as naturally as breathing.
”it’s like my future’s already set in stone. and i’m just expected to follow it,” he looks up at the moon. ”which is also fine. i already know what i want to do. but somehow, all of it just feels so…”
he pauses. unsure of how to put it.
”… suffocating?” you finish for him.
there’s a second in which suguru can do nothing but breathe. as if frozen, stuck in motion, caught off guard by how deeply your minds are intertwined.
— what a wonderful thing, to have someone pluck the words you’re afraid to say from the back of your throat.
a smile blooms on his face, and a gratitude shines in his eyes. almost overflowing.
(you’ve always been the only one who ever seems to understand.)
”yeah,” he sighs, relieved. and suddenly his chest feels a lot lighter. odd, how just the tilt of your voice when you say a certain word can chase that discomforting sensation away.
”don’t listen to them,” you say, assuredly, so softly it’s like you’re coaxing him into believing you. it works. ”they don’t matter.”
suguru chuckles, rueful. ”they’re my parents.”
”so? they aren’t you.” you nudge his side with your elbow. ”they have no say in how you live your life. you don’t need to live up to all those expectations, you know.”
a soft little breath leaves your lips, and suguru wonders how you seem to always soothe his heart so easily. ”you just need to be suguru,” you mumble, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. ”that’s all.”
a moment passes. suguru parts his lips, closing them again when no sound comes out. and then finally, he speaks.
”… yeah,” he muses. ”maybe.”
”definitely,” you huff. ”trust your best friend. i know best.”
”careful,” he teases, tilting his head lazily to meet your gaze. ”you’re starting to sound like them.” the smile on his face only grows when you gape at him, wholly offended, as if you can’t believe what he just said.
”wha — suguru…” you whine, sleepy, clinging to the sleeve of his shirt. digging your nails into the fabric and tugging on it childishly. ”don’t say that. i’m nothing like them!”
a giggle pushes past his lips. ”sorry, sorry,” he soothes, ruffling your hair with his palm. rough hands, big and warm, that always seem to find their way to your skin. ”i’m just kidding. thank you. really.”
the smile that he gives you glows brighter than the moon. he squeezes your hand, softly — a silent i love you. eyes closed, formed into little crescents, and when he speaks he sounds so painfully sincere.
”i think i’ll be fine as long as i have you,” he says. it comes out sounding something like a prayer.
the words make your eyes soften. melting into a mellow hue, so full of affection that you can almost taste it on your tongue.
”everything will turn out fine,” you murmur, consoling him. still not letting go of his hand. ”you have your whole life ahead of you, you know.”
he chuckles. the sound would be sweet if it didn’t have that teasing tilt to it, the one that tells you his amusement is at your expense. ”now you’re starting to sound like my grandma,” he quips, as if itching for something to bicker about.
but you only pout, and let your fingers slip from his. the warmth that leaves you is so jarring that you’re almost tempted to take his hand into yours again — but you just frown at him. ”i can never win with you, huh?”
suguru shrugs. ”need to keep you humble,” he chirps, pulling at your cheek gently. a lazy grin on his lips. ”we don’t want that ego of yours to grow as big as satoru’s.”
trying to keep yourself from grinning with him, you slap his hand away, playfully. ”that would never happen.”
”uh-huh.”
you give him a look.
”my bad.”
a moment passes. gradually, you feel your heart beginning to melt — just a little, but enough to get your voice hopelessly soft on your tongue. the glimmer of the moon embraces every cell in your body, painting over your features with a certain kind of bleeding tenderness. it’s hard to stop it from seeping out.
”you know that i love you. right?” tumbles from your lips, breathed out into the sky, words too heavy to be held back. ”even if your parents give you trouble, and everyone else, too — i’m still on your side.”
”always,” you promise, devotedly earnest. meeting his gaze. and suguru can’t look away.
something flickers, in the depths of his eyes, like a shooting star. something delightful.
he doesn’t quite know what to say. but he nods; almost meek, in a way, and it makes your chest ache. suguru’s always been the type to keep his troubles to himself, content with never letting anyone see into his heart — even if he’d like them to deep down.
if you can be there for him, even just for a night, then that’s more than enough.
he lets the silence linger for a while longer, soft breathing and the rustling of grass filling the space where your words would be. then he looks at you with newfound determination, suddenly, eyes shining in a way you don’t recognize.
”— and you know that i love you, too.”
a moment passes.
an affirmative hum buzzes in your throat, and you give him the ghost of a nod, shying away from his deep gaze. hoping to escape the intimacy of the question. but he doesn’t let you, stare so heavy that you have no choice but to meet his eyes again, after he nudges your hand with his.
the words that fall from his lips surprise you. something akin to a pout plays on his lips, but it’s more serious than that — he looks dejected.
”… do you, though?” he pushes, a troubled frown on his lips. ”do you know that i love you? just as much as you love me?”
at your stunned silence, suguru sighs, bringing a hand up to smooth over the crease between his brows. ”sometimes i worry that you don’t,” he admits. ”you always think too much. but i don’t want you to ever have to worry about that.”
his voice is firm, when he continues. ”i don’t want you to ever second-guess my love for you,” he declares, and you cower a little under the intensity of his gaze. playing with your fingers instead of looking at him. ”— so i want your answer.”
when his hand finds its way to your face, you stiffen, just barely. but it’s soft, the way he cups your jaw; the warmth of his palm smoothing over your skin. gentle, as he forces you to meet his eyes, tilting your chin up slightly. a bold move, even though physical contact is no stranger in your dynamic. you feel your heart pick up in speed.
”do you know that i love you?” he asks, and it sounds almost pleading. you can only find it in you to stare.
suguru’s eyes are filled with something, something you’d like to call love. and they’re looking deep into yours, almost as if coaxing you into drowning in their hue. mesmerizing. ridiculously pretty. if you stare into them for too long, you fear that you might never be able to look away.
but they’re sweet, and warm. painted over with worried hue, something very kind. familiar. the same eyes that have soothed you for as long as you can remember.
in your flustered state, you can do nothing but blink dumbly — gaze darting from his eyes, to his forehead, to the sky, to his lips.
he can tell the eye contact makes you nervous, but some part of him won’t allow you to squirm away. this is important. he needs to know that you know. he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep at night, otherwise.
finally, you squeak out an affirmative yes. and that’s all it takes for him to relax; in one smooth motion, his hand leaves your skin, a relief having bloomed in his eyes.
”okay. that’s good,” he exhales.
swallowing down a gulp, your gaze drifts away from the boy to your left. suguru is terrifying, really — doing stuff like that out of nowhere. you check your pulsepoint, discreetly, just to make sure your heart is still beating.
”alright, then,” he suddenly proclaims, breaking the fleeting silence. ”your turn.”
a blink. your eyelashes flutter in confusion, as you gaze up at him, a question painted on your features. suguru glances at you out of the corner of his eye.
”you’ve been stressed, lately,” he remarks. stating the obvious so you don’t have to. with a soft gaze, eyes that shimmer with understanding. ”i can tell, you know?”
(yeah. he always can, can’t he?)
”… uh,” you croak. clearing your throat and attempting to gather your thoughts, hoping the words will find their way to your lips. ”well. i dunno, really...”
suguru emits a low, affirmative noise, not looking at you. opening up like this makes you feel so uncomfortable. but it’s suguru. you trust him. and you know he won’t let you get away from this, either; he’ll stay up all night if he has to. just waiting for you to put your faith in him.
a sigh leaves your lips, finally, and it comes out sounding just a tad exhausted. ”i… guess i’ve just been thinking, lately.”
and, really, it’s an understatement. thinking is all you’ve been doing, for these past few weeks. thinking of this, and of that. the past and the future. him and you.
suguru hums. an unspoken encouragement.
”everything is just so…” you move your hands, haphazardly, hoping they’ll make the words easier to say. but nothing comes to you. everything is all jumbled up, inside your mind, and it’s just —
”overwhelming,” you finish. the word falls off your tongue like a tidal wave. ”everything passes by so quickly, and…” you bite your lip. ”i feel like i can’t catch up. i can’t visualize the future at all, and that’s…”
(it’s scary.)
”— it just makes me feel confused.”
suguru waits. patient, attentive, making sure you get all the words out before he speaks. as grounding as the moon, as warm as the sun.
when you don’t elaborate further, avoiding his gaze, he opts to finally soothe you.
”that’s understandable,” he chimes, voice buzzing with care. ”you don’t have to think about the future right now. living in the present is enough,” a breeze drifts by, tousling his black hair. ”.. it’s for the best, really.”
a smile. it’s a little sad, as you wring your hands together. ”i know,” is all you can say. because you do. it just doesn’t change anything.
the sensation of your nails scraping against the tiles of the roof is discomforting, but you don’t stop. when you part your lips, your voice comes out tiny. barely above a whisper.
”i’m so afraid of change.”
suguru looks at you. his gaze softens, impeccably.
”everything keeps changing. all the time,” you bite into the flesh of your cheek, harshly. ”i hate it.”
”that’s understandable, too,” suguru soothes. tentative, as his hand goes to rest on your head, smoothing down your hair gently. ”change is unavoidable. but you get better at dealing with it.”
”mm, i know.”
”and some things stay the same, too.”
you glance up at him, and his eyes crinkle. there’s something unspeakable in them, something that’s always been there. light and heavy, all at once. something a little bit too wonderful for words.
suguru smiles. almost a little shy, as he looks into your eyes. ”like you and me.”
…
a deep love unfurls in your chest, warming you up from the inside out. fuzzy and tingly. but with it comes a deep sadness, bittersweet, that you can’t chase away no matter how hard you try; like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe, no matter how many times you try to scrape it off against the concrete.
like you and me.
(he doesn’t know that’s what scares you the most. the thought of that one thing changing, while you just stand there, helpless to stop it.)
”yeah,” you breathe. a wounded little breath.
suguru notices it, despite your vague attempts to act like nothing’s wrong. he notices the fear in your voice, the uncertainty. and once again, he gets the impression that you look a little lost. like you aren’t sure where to plant your feet.
it bothers him. an itch he wants to scratch away. but before he can get to the bottom of it, you begin to speak, once more.
”with you, it’s like…” a breath flows from your lips, as you try to find the words. but this time, they come to you with relative ease. ”if i could do my life over again, and make everything turn out different… then i’d still always keep you.”
silence. you continue, suddenly a little embarrassed at the honesty in your tone. but it’s too late to back out now.
”and even if everything else changes, if i could pick just one single thing to keep — then it’d be you, too.” the smile on your face is small, a little sheepish. “that’s how it is, so…”
you trail off. not sure what else to say. suguru isn’t, either; he feels just a little bit stunned, in the face of your sincerity. yet he parts his lips, softly, words making themselves manifest before his mind can even begin to catch up.
”i don’t think i’ve ever told you this,” he begins, not entirely sure where the words will take him. blinking up at the sky, entranced, whilst you look at him quizzically. ”you always call me your guardian angel, right?”
the question makes your lips curl up. it’s a habit of yours, one that’s become almost muscle memory. you don’t remember how it started, but it’s in everything suguru does; from the way he can always tell when you’re feeling overwhelmed, to the way he never fails to bring you a coffee right before your exam starts.
suguru is always looking out for you, even when you’re apart. like a guardian angel. yours.
you nod. ”because you are.”
suguru smiles, breathing out a fond chuckle, and then shakes his head. ”it’s the opposite.”
you turn to the man beside you, and he’s already looking at you. with his pretty, soothing brown eyes, and the barely visible dark circles beneath them. his gaze is warm and fond, grateful in a way that makes your chest squeeze tight. you melt a little, under its weight.
”you’re my guardian angel,” he says, sickeningly sweet. ”always have been. even back then.”
inhaling the mild air, suguru lets his eyes flutter shut. the taste reminds him of the summer vacations you used to have as kids, when you would ride your bikes to the nearest river and play all day. stopping by any ice cream stand you found on the way there; you always took a bite out of his without asking, and he always tried to get angry at you. but he never could.
on your way back home, the sky was always dark. a soothing blue hue, stars glittering in the distance, while the moon looked close enough to touch. a night just like this one. you’d walk, together, talking about everything and nothing — sometimes he’d carry you on his back. not once did he drop you.
a breath, deep and drawn out as he exhales, basking in memories you aren’t privy to. a saccharine smile painted on his lips.
”without you…” he muses, voice a little breathless. fond, and somewhat helpless. but he’s smiling. ”i don’t really know what i’d do, to be honest.”
a moment passes.
”it’s the same for me,” you echo, words escaping your throat before you even get the chance to realize their weight. gaze stuck to the stars, as always. ”i can’t imagine life without you.”
suguru doesn’t speak, afraid that his heart may crawl out his throat if he does. the honeyed smile on his face says more than words ever could, anyway.
a small bout of laughter leaves your lips. sudden, sad, dripping with longing. it surprises you, catches you off guard — like something within you just overflowed.
“you know what my biggest fantasy was?” you grin, ruefully. maybe just a little manic. ”i used to think about it all the time, when we were kids.”
suguru looks at you in silence, but there’s a confusion in the way he tilts his head.
there seems to be a knot of some kind, stuck in the very bottom of your chest. something that makes it hard to speak. ”i’d get on a train, and just kinda… leave,” you breathe, hoping it’ll unclog your throat. it doesn’t. ”you know? to somewhere far, far away.”
and suddenly, the world grows just a little blurred. suguru can see it, in your eyes — you’re someplace else now. gaze trained on something he can’t see. there’s an amused touch to your voice, but also something rather pitiful. a childish wish that never came to fruition.
there’s regret, there, suguru thinks; something close to pain.
”maybe, like… a small port town,” you continue, closing your eyes. “with a cute little café close by, or whatever… somewhere you can see the sea.”
another breath. you pretend it tastes like salt, like an ocean breeze. then you swallow the lump in your throat, and whisper. ”with you.”
when you finally muster up the courage to meet suguru’s eyes, they shine with nothing but pure understanding. he doesn’t say anything, but he understands. he’s always been like that. not a single word is needed for him to ground you, the way a rock always meets the bottom when it’s thrown into the depths of a lake.
suguru’s comfort is as natural to you as the gravity that keeps the stars up in the sky.
the voice you’ve grown so used to hearing reaches your ears again, and it’s a low sound, a little raspy. but soft. achingly so, enough that you could almost miss it if you weren’t always so aware of every word that falls from his lips.
suguru looks up at the moon, in tandem with you, and lets the ghost of a smile show. ”… you know what my biggest fantasy was?”
his gaze is sincere, a little forlorn; hopelessly softened, as you meet his eyes. they’re painted over with something sweet, and something that looks just a little bit like regret.
a tilt of your head beckons him to continue, and the corners of his lips curl up further.
”running away with you,” he breathes. ”anywhere at all. wherever you wanted to go, i’d follow.”
for a moment or two, all you can do is stare.
you feel your lips part, but no sound comes out, nothing at all. suguru’s hair sways with the breeze, softly, and the light of the moon makes him look somewhat ethereal. like he could disappear if you blinked.
the silence that blooms in the space between your words is fragile. precious, if a little overwhelming, as it stretches out before you — growing heavier with every passing second. so tender that it makes you feel sick to your stomach, as if the sound of the wind whistling could shatter it into pieces.
(your heart aches, aches, aches.)
a weak laugh bubbles up from within your throat, something raw and tender hidden behind a veil of faux amusement. something vulnerable you're trying to cover up, like the glassiness of your eyes.
like a memory that never got to happen.
”what, so you’re saying we could’ve been by the seaside by now…?” you groan, forehead slumping against your knees with a bonk. ”what the hell, dude…”
suguru lets out a chuckle, resting his jaw on the heel of his palm and looking down at you with a smile on his face. one that reaches his eyes, glimmering with something akin to starlight.
”we can still go there,” he consoles you, reaching over to tousle your hair with a palpable softness. ”to the seaside, i mean. i’ll take you.”
for a while, you don’t say anything. a pout plays at your lips, as you attempt to get your emotions under control.
then you lean back, to lie down flat on the roof. the movement is so sudden that it stings a little when the back of your head meets the tiles, and you wince — a soft but exasperated murmur of careful comes from the boy on your left.
your elbows go to cushion your head, as you take in the immenseness of the sky. ”alright, then,” you hum. ”take me there sometime soon.”
suguru blinks. then his lips curl up. ”got it,” he chirps. mentally mapping out a nice spot, trying to remember the timetables at your local train station.
(next week, maybe. a picnic by the sea. he’ll make those sandwiches that you like.)
then he follows your lead, and goes to lie down on his back. right by your side, so close he can smell the fading scent of your shampoo, curled up right next to you. breathing out a sigh as he takes in the night sky in all its glory.
there’s something tender, in the air. something that doesn’t need words. a kind of comfortable silence that you’ve learned to treasure, whenever suguru is with you.
so you simply stare at the dark veil over the city, in tandem with him — a pitch-black blanket sewn with stardust.
everything expands, before your very eyes; an infinite cosmos, with all the light you could ever want. the stars blink down at you, as if saying hello, mapping out the galaxy. you try to find the constellations you’re familiar with, the ones suguru have taught you about in the past, but nothing really comes to you.
it’s nice, though. just staring at the stars in wonder.
an exhale, as you breathe in, and then out. you part your lips to whisper, breaking the sleepy silence.
”the stars are so pretty….”
suguru hums, the sound buzzing right by your ear. a soothing summer lullaby, that only you get to hear. ”yeah,” he whispers back.
a moment passes.
then you both part your lips to speak; smoothly, in a fashion that would be embarrassing if you didn’t feel so terribly safe in each other’s company. simultaneous, as the sentence tumbles from your throats.
”and so are you.”
silence. the seconds stretch on, and on. everything goes quiet.
you’re the first one to burst into laughter — deep, the kind that comes from the very bottom of your stomach. almost wheezing, as you try to catch your breath, arms snug around your shaking body. suguru follows close behind, trying to contain his laughter, but you can hear his little chuckles clear as day.
”eww, what the fuck?” you grin, shifting to lie on your side so you can get a good look at his face. ”you’re so corny!”
suguru snorts. ”i heard you say it too, dumbass.”
a little giggle flows from your lips, and you slump against his shoulder, still trying to control your breathing. suguru curls an arms around your midriff, bringing you closer. muscle memory, to make it more comfortable for you.
”haah…..”
the smile on your face shines brighter than the stars, suguru thinks, looking at you with a bleeding kind of fondness. as if you’re the only thing worth looking at.
”i hope things stay like this forever.”
the light of the moon shines down on the roof, bouncing off the white of your teeth. your canines shine in the dark as you grin, youthful — but there’s a sadness in your eyes, now. one that suguru will never fail to notice.
(one he’ll always yearn to smooth away, the same way his thumb always goes to wipe at any stray eyelashes on your skin, or crumbs at the corner of your mouth. muscle memory.)
”they will,” he assures you, reaching over to find your hand. enveloping it in his bigger one, cradling it, linking your fingers together and squeezing them softly. ”i’ll make sure that they do.”
a chuckle leaves your lips, but suguru thinks it sounds a little meek. like you still don’t believe him.
”i mean it,” he reiterates. more serious this time.
”i know,” you grin. ”but, i mean —”
a moment passes, and then your grin falters. ”you can’t promise that, though.” the expression on your face seems sort of pained, now, troubled by something. ”maybe we’ll move away from each other, or just drift apart, or —”
”that would never happen to us —”
”maybe you’ll meet someone.”
…
”a nice guy, or girl…” a sigh, as you run a hand through your hair. ”and then you’ll… i dunno. get married, i guess. and then eventually you’ll have kids, and buy a house, and —”
a pause. in a smaller voice, you continue. almost childlike. ”you’ll leave me behind.”
suguru bites back a scoff. it takes concentrated effort. he turns to look at you, but you won’t meet his gaze, and a frown finds its way to his lips. ”… do you honestly think that’s what i want?”
another moment passes you by. more seconds lost, never to return. ”… isn’t it?”
suguru sighs, a little exasperated. maybe just a little hurt, too. ”marriage and kids aside…” he mutters, burning holes into your skin with his steadfast gaze. determined, self-assured. the tilt of his voice leaves no room for doubt. ”there’s only one person i love.”
resisting the temptation to keep your eyes away from him becomes nearly impossible — so you let your gaze trail over, and take him in. in all his glory, silky black hair framing his face, a soft look painted over his features. looking at you as if you matter, as if nothing matters except for you.
and again, something breaks out across the scope of his iris, a shooting star you don’t know what to do with. he looks so hopelessly sincere.
for a second, all you can do is stare.
then you nod, solemnly. ”satoru, right?” you hum. ”you’re gonna break my heart if you keep bringing him up when we’re together, sugu.”
you don’t need to see his face to know that he’s giving you that unimpressed look, again. the suguru look. he rolls his eyes, and you bite your cheek to stop yourself from smiling.
”i love him too, but that’s different,” he huffs.
”how so?” you prod, eyes crinkling. but there’s something a little meek about the question. he notices it, of course, because what doesn’t suguru notice?
something soft curls around his features, and a hum buzzes in his throat. a heavy tenderness bleeds into his voice. ”i wouldn’t die for satoru,” he says, simply.
a moment passes.
”… you totally would.”
”huh?” suguru blinks. ”no, of course not. are you insane?”
”suguru,” you sigh. ”you are literally the most self-sacrificial bitch i’ve ever met —”
”well, obviously i’d take a bullet or two, but —”
”what do you mean obviously —”
”— you’re the only person i’d die for.”
suguru is smiling, now. amused, sincere. almost on the verge of laughter, the sweet and soft kind that always turns your heart into a puddle. his eyes almost seem to glimmer, in the night, and it’s all you can see for a while. as you try to gather your thoughts, get the right words out.
”… always so dramatic,” you murmur, at last, a little gruff. his smile grows. you shift a little more, lying on your side to face him with a serious expression. ”don’t tell satoru that, okay? he already has it out for me. at this rate he’ll kill me and steal you away.”
a chuckle rumbles through his chest, deep and fond. you continue, a frown tugging at your lips. ”… and i wouldn’t want you to die for me, anyway.”
suguru lets a giggle slip, a bit too sleepy to hold it back. ”mm, i know. but if it ever came down to it, then i still would.” he shifts, too, lying on his side to face you properly.
”to me,” he exhales, and he’s so close you can smell the mint off his breath — ”as long as you’re by my side, i can make it through absolutely anything.”
the smile on his face is boyish. all teeth and crow’s feet, blooming in the light of the moon, a flower just for you. it’s perfect, you think. you don’t want a single day to pass without you seeing it.
”me too,” you mumble, linking your pinkies together. a silent promise. ”so don’t die. ever.”
suguru’s eyes soften.
then he hums, absentmindedly. ”… well. i mean,” he clicks his tongue. ”eventually i will. that’s not really something i have a say in.”
a roll of your eyes. ”alright, smartass,” you scoff, and suguru’s eyes crinkle with humour. ”just don’t die before i do, then.”
a hand comes to touch your skin. and it’s sudden, warm, but you don’t flinch away. suguru smooths over your cheek with the back of his hand, seemingly unable to stop himself. soothing, as he exhales a soft breath.
”… i think i’d prefer that to the alternative, honestly,” he admits.
you furrow your brows, softly. a part of you wants to protest, to call him a selfish prick — for even thinking the thought of leaving you behind without a best friend.
but something in you knows he won’t budge, on this one.
(it’s childish, in a way. stubborn, for him to take a joking conversation so seriously. but suguru doesn’t think he could even jokingly suggest that he’d survive without you.)
”seriously, though,” his voice takes on a firmer tone. ”i wouldn’t leave you behind like that. it’s us we’re talking about. you and me.”
he says the words like they’re undeniable — because they are. there is no him without you. that’s always been the case, hasn’t it?
suguru stops to think. do you not feel the same? there’s still a crease between your brows, a sign of worry that’s impossible to dismiss. he can’t help but wonder just how long you’ve been thinking about this; how many nights have you spent sleepless, thinking of the future? of the possibility that it entails your parting?
(the thought makes him feel a little bit nauseous.)
”are you afraid that we’ll grow apart?” he asks, into the haze of the summer night. it resounds in the air around you, softly spoken, gentle but coaxing. almost pleading you to open up to him.
and it’s a stupid question, really.
of course you are. it’s the only thought that really scares you.
time moves so, so fast — always leaving you behind. who’s to say that suguru won’t do the same? that he won’t be taken away from you, swept away by that flow? into the future, while you stay glued to the past — stuck on the roof of your childhood, while he moves on to better things?
the night sky is infinite. sometimes, on nights that are a little too long, when your mind has grown a little too muddled, you think of suguru as a star in that sky. blinking down at you, while you can do nothing but watch. hopelessly out of reach.
gaze trailing down to rest on suguru’s collarbone, you swallow the lump in your throat. a little too vulnerable to feel comfortable with looking into his eyes, afraid of what you’ll see in them.
but he’s patient. waiting, always waiting, for you to catch up. for as long as it takes.
”… of course i am,” you mutter, at last. a weak little thing. farther down the street, a car swooshes by, drowning the sound — but suguru still hears it clear as day. ”i mean, it’s just…”
a meek intake of breath. you blink, desperate to chase away the glassiness forming in your eyes. trying to grasp control over your wavering voice. ”even if you say that we won’t… it’s not like there’s any guarantee. you can’t know for sure.”
suguru wants to stop you, right there. wants to ensure you that he does know, that it’s the only thing he’ll ever know for sure. just that one fact; you and him. never one without the other.
wherever you’d go, he’d follow — that’s how it’s always been. that’s all he’ll ever need.
but he knows you. knows you better than he knows himself. and he knows that he needs to let you speak freely, without interruption, until you’ve gotten every last worry off your chest.
so he settles for simply looking at you, curled up and biting his lip to stop himself from speaking. wishing he could smooth away the moisture in your eyes, already — but the tears need to fall first. he knows it’ll make you feel better.
”i love you,” you whisper, and suguru’s heart claws its way up his throat. ”i love you, and i want to be with you forever — but…” a shaky inhale. ”but i can’t get rid of that fear. the idea of losing you… i just can’t deal with it.”
”don’t you think i feel exactly the same?” he cuts in, softly.
a beat. you glance up at his face, for a split second, and then back down to his collarbone. a little fragile, curling into yourself as if hiding. ”i don’t know,” you sigh.
(suguru’s heart breaks.)
”i know that you love me too, and all. and i trust you. but…” you trail off, swallowing thickly. ”you already have your future planned out, and everything. maybe i just… don’t have a place in it.”
suguru scoffs, unable to bite back the sound any longer. it’s soft, but frustrated. ”there’ll always be a place for you in my future,” he vows. ”i wouldn’t accept anything less.”
you cower a little, under the warmth of his gaze. sweet, but stern. so distinctly suguru that it makes you falter.
”besides,” he clicks his tongue. ”i don’t need to follow the future that’s been planned out for me. i just need to be suguru.” a warm smile. ”right?”
at the sound of your own words, a light flush blooms on your skin. but for once, suguru isn’t teasing you.
”and you just need to be you,” he continues, arm still wrapped around your midriff. trailing up slowly, so that his hand can smooth over the back of your head. ”that’s all.”
”as long as both of us do that — we’ll always be together.” he looks into your eyes, and you think you spot a constellation inside his iris. ”won’t we?”
another moment of silence, the familiar comfort that settles between you. there’s no pressure to continue — but you do so, anyway. muddled mind still spinning, worried about this and that, despite suguru’s soothing words.
a part of you can’t put your faith in that kind of future. one where the two of you are together, that you could envision so clearly when you were younger — when him and you was all that you knew for certain. it’s not as simple as it was back then.
(but another part of you desperately yearns for him to prove you wrong.)
”… but,” you mumble, shaky. ”what if it’s not that easy?” a chuckle pushes past your lips, humourless. ”i mean, you can’t possibly… always stay by my side, you know?”
there’s something childish, in the way you say it. like you’re still kids, and you’re whining for him not to leave you behind. selfish, in a way.
what right do you have to chain him to you?
suguru emits a hum. his eyelids flutter shut, for a few seconds — and then he opens them again.
”… alright,” he drawls. ”let’s make a promise, then.”
confused, you glance up at him. he just smiles — responsible, dependable. your very best friend.
”have i ever broken a promise i made to you?” he asks, and you pause.
”… no,” you answer, hesitant. voice still a tad meek, a little helpless.
(and it’s true. not once has he broken one. when suguru makes a promise, he keeps it. you’ve always, always admired that about him.)
”right?” he grins, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. admiring your moon-lit features. ”so let’s do it.”
a frown tugs at your lips. furrowing your brows at him, your voice flows out, uncertain. ”promise… what, exactly?”
the moon glows, big and bright. hanging in the sky, a beacon of light, the same as it’s always been. suguru thinks you look radiant, under its illumination — even though you’re nervous, and a little teary eyed. just a single glance at your expression is enough to make his heartbeat soften.
you look like what home feels like.
he could never bear to let that go, to let you go. his very best friend; the one thing in his past he has no qualms about. the one thing in his future worth hanging onto, cherishing fully. no matter what.
suguru parts his lips, smiling. he links your hands together. ”keep being you,” he implores, steadfast. ”and stay by my side.”
a moment passes.
something crumbles, inside your chest. unable to break away from his gaze, all you can do is fall deeper into the hue of his eyes, crinkling softly — in the same way they always have. he squeezes your palm in his, tightly. a silent promise not to let you go.
— and then you realize something. the same realization that always comes to you, at the end of the day.
the man in front of you is just the same as the boy you met, all those years ago. the same boy who saw you climb over his fence, and let you pet his cat, and watched whisper of the heart with you even though he wanted to start with ponyo instead.
the same boy, always the same boy, no matter how much time passes. even though he’s all grown up now, features more defined. voice deeper and huskier. hands larger, with rougher skin.
he’s changed, just like you have — but he’s still just suguru. just that cool, sweet boy. a dorky guy who never, ever lets you fall too far behind.
a tremendous softness seeps through your veins. a kind of love, old and matured, carefully nurtured. the blinks you indulge in are slow, and your eyes shine with tears. it’s overwhelming, seeing him so up close, but you still can’t look away. he’s so beautiful it hurts.
”suguru…” is all you can sniffle, meekly.
your best friend is still smiling, fondly. wrapped up in you, as close as he can be. a familiar warmth, like a big fuzzy blanket draped over your shoulders; smelling of cedarwood and earl gray, and just a hint of coconut-scented shampoo. tailor-made just for you.
suguru never breaks his promises.
”but… you can’t,” you croak out, gasping as if searching for air. ”you don’t know if —”
”i do,” he cuts you off, gently. ”i do know.”
a breathless inhale of air, as you grasp tighter onto his nimble fingers. you feel meek, lost. not sure where to put your hands, or what to believe. ”how?” you ask, terribly fragile.
suguru takes a deep breath. oxygen enters his lungs, exiting as he breathes out. a soft flicker of life. his thumb goes to wipe away the stray tear that trickles down your cheek, his touch delicate. and then comes his response.
”— because i need you the way i need air.”
and, really, it’s a sappy thing to say. a little pretentious. he’d feel embarrassed if it wasn’t for the soft flicker of the moon, the intimacy of the moment. he simply couldn’t bear not to tell you the truth — even if you end up bringing it up tomorrow, just to tease him. he can deal with a little embarrassment, every once in a while. just for you.
fortunately for him, no thoughts of teasing run through your mind. maybe if you were in a better headspace, a little less of a wreck, you could muster the will to make fun of him a little. who do you think you are, shakespeare? i knew i shouldn’t have lent you that copy of romeo and juliet. — something light and amused, just to distract him from the rapid beating of your heart.
but right now…
all you can do is take a deep breath. and you think you understand what he means, when that breath of life courses through your lungs.
”i’ll never leave you behind,” he continues, words so very self-assured that it leaves you reeling. rubbing comforting circles into the skin of your palm, without thinking. muscle memory. ”can you trust me on that?”
connected to his gaze, you stumble for something to say. anything.
but then he smiles, again. that familiar, familiar smile. as soothing as a mother’s caress. and only one single word makes it past your lips.
”… okay.”
you do trust him. more than anyone else in the world. so you take that leap, no matter how frightening it is —
and the world narrows down to just the two of you.
just you, and him, in this one single moment. illuminated by the light of the moon, lying side by side and looking into each other’s eyes, on a roof you always find yourselves at one way or another. laughing and sharing secrets until the sun begins to rise; a silent promise that needs no words.
(the promise of tomorrow. a summer that never quite seems to end.)
suguru cups your cheek. his touch buzzes with warmth, trickling down his wrist and through his veins — and you melt into his palm, eyes fluttering shut instinctively. the sight makes the corners of his lips curl up, hopelessly.
leaning close, he plants a kiss on your cheek. delicate, tender; his lips against your skin, a silent whisper of i love you. fervent, full of devotion. of a love that’s as steady as the sea.
”i’ll always, always be by your side,” suguru repeats, like a mantra. hoping you’ll feel his conviction through the whisper. ”you’ll always have me to fall back on. i promise.”
a little smile breaks out across your lips, meek and teary. as fragile as a sheet of glass, but still persisting in the dead of night. your voice wavers, as you raise your pinkie, right in front of his stupidly pretty face.
”pinkie promise?”
it’s a childish gesture. something to lighten the mood a little, make it all easier to chew. you expect him to roll his eyes, or raise an eyebrow, or tease you a bit. but he doesn’t.
instead, suguru raises his own pinkie, and curls it around yours. then he smiles. sweet and boyish, painted over with a rosy, tender nostalgia.
”— pinkie promise.”
and you believe him.
you believe him, because suguru has a way of making you do so, even when he has no idea what the hell he’s talking about. with that confident tilt of his voice, that makes it sound like he has all the answers in the universe — that flicker of genuine faith, in every word that falls from his lips, that tells you he truly does believe in them.
you believe him, because suguru is the only person in the world who’s never once broken a promise he made to you. not a single time. and some part of you suspects that if he ever did, he really would be okay with you cutting his pinkie off. a little frightening, the depths of his devotion. the pure loyalty that courses through his veins.
so you believe him.
you believe him because he’s suguru. and, just like you can't exist without him, he can't exist without you. never one without the other.
on instinct, you inch a little closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him extra tight. face hidden away in the crook of his neck, just like you used to do when you were kids. he’s bigger now, harder to properly embrace — but still so very, very warm.
and he squeezes you back, just as tight. comforting and grounding, and so, so secure. tugging you closer, like he needs to have you near to properly breathe. like he needs to feel that you’re there to relax, melting into the hug with a soft sigh. relieved, that you’re still with him. relieved at the promise that you always will be.
wherever you go, he’ll follow. to the roof of his home, to the seaside, to the ends of the earth. the same way every star in the sky orbits around the center of the galaxy, endlessly, before burning out into the night.
the smell of cedarwood and earl gray floods your senses, filling your lungs as you nuzzle into his neck. he’s warm, and soft, and your very best friend.
you close your eyes. indulging in his body heat, every familiar sensation that’s been etched into your bones for as long as you can remember. and you can tell he’s doing the same — breathing you in, arms resting securely around your back, pressing his cheek against the top of your head.
and maybe it’s true, after all. maybe suguru really does need you, just as much as you need him.
and maybe that’s all you really need to know.
the moon rests in the sky. smiling down at you, unchanging. a living proof that some things really do stay the same.
— you hug suguru tighter, and decide that his presence is proof enough.
#suguru geto my bicoded princess…#he could fix me.#sugu is suchhh a ghibli boy u cant convince me otherwise. his fave movies are spirited away and porco rosso#(and ponyo but hes a lil embarrassed to say it LOL… he was obsessed w sea animals as a kid. <3 now im just making stuff up but im right)#physically incapable of writing for suguru without giving him a silly reader…. unbeatable dynamic#i have other sugu childhood friends fics planned but some r. Angstier than others#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#geto fluff#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#geto suguru x you#geto hurt/comfort#geto angst#geto x reader#geto x you
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 3 ]
{☆} characters neuvillette, wriothesley, furina
{☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader
{☆} warnings none
{☆} word count 1.9k
{☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ]
Wriothesley was not a man of superstition. He did not kneel at the altars until his knees bled, he did not pray until his voice gave out– he did not, contrary to popular belief, suffer divine punishment for his apparent lack of respect.
After all, what Divine would look so deep beneath the waves just for a glimpse of the sinners that inhabit it?
Not them, evidently.
He hadn't slept in the past four days, though. There was a heavy air of something where ever he walked– it followed him like a thick fog, lingering and choking him until it dragged him to his knees like a chain. His thoughts inevitably linger on the striking, extravagant letter so conveniently adorning his desk at the fortress– the broken wax seal, the letter tucked into his pocket.
He'd recognize the seal of the Iudex any day. Wasn't often he spoke to him– but the shaky, distorted words hastily etched into the paper made him pause. Neuvillette always had a steady hand– elegant, flowing script that him of flowing water.
It had kept him up for days.
The implications were..haunting. He'd poured over the letter for hours, illuminated only by faint light of his desk lamp. Yet no matter how many times he tries to see what must be hidden beneath the ink, the paper itself even, he finds nothing but the shaky script of a request that sends a bolt of pure frost through his veins.
He noticed, of course, the odd goings on of Fontaine. He'd heard vague whispers of the Divine's hunt for the imposter– he'd heard, too, of the ceaseless rain pelting Fontaine until even he wondered if the nation would finally sink beneath the waves.
It didn't, though. And that only made it all the more odd. Days of constant rain, just for it to stop suddenly..he tugged his coat tighter around him, throwing up the hood of the cloak clasped even tighter over it with a grunt as he leaned around the corner of the alleyway.
He didn't believe in superstition, but this was too hard to ignore as a simple weather anomaly.
Maybe that was why he ignored his gut– he knew that this was probably a trap, at the very least it was suspicious. But damn it, he couldn't ignore the instinct to follow the only lead he had.
His boots clicked against the rain stricken streets as he stalked through the shadows, mindful of the clinking of machine patrols just a few streets away. Yet every step felt heavier then the last as he took a long, good look at the Palais Mermonia. He almost considered bringing out his gauntlets, but he thought better of it– if it came down to it, he needed information. And he would need whoever was waiting for him alive for that– the dead don't speak and all that.
The letter's directions led him in a..rather roundabout entrance to a secluded room, evidently, as he lifted his hand and quietly knocked against the door. Two rapid knocks, pause, another knock, pause, four knocks. It doesn't take long until he hears the latch of the door unlock.
The leather of his gloves creaks as he clenches his fists, adjusting his stance. He's ready for a fight, if he must, but as the door quietly slides open he feel the weight on his shoulders relax slightly– the familiar, sharp features of Neuvillette meets him. He almost reflexively smiles at the way his pupils turn into thin slits, a momentary surprise that he quickly hides well behind a cough and the creak of the door as he pulls it open fully.
"Wriothesley. I see my letter has found you well. Please, come in." Polite as ever, Neuvillette steps aside to let him in, but he can see the exhaustion lining his features– the bags under his eyes aren't as well hidden as he thinks, at least to him. "Bit odd to be inviting me all the way out here in the middle of the night, don't you think?"
His tone is smooth as he steps into the room, brushing down his hood and glancing at Neuvillette over his shoulder, watching as he shuts and locks the door behind him.
"I apologize for the..less then ideal circumstances, but I'm certain you will understand when you see for yourself." He wants to retort, but the Iudex beats him to it, vaguely motioning to the room behind him. An invitation– but he wonders if it's worth taking.
His gut says no, but he's feeling a little risky today, he supposes.
He turns back slowly, barely able to make out the two figures he'd missed on the first glance on the other side of the room– though it's hard to mistake the flourish of the Hydro Archon, even in the dark. It's the other figure that makes the breath hitch in his throat, though.
Or maybe, more accurately, it freezes. So does his blood, his whole body even, locked in stasis for a long, tense moment– he can't see them clearly, but his instincts are going haywire. He can feel his vision almost rattle where it rests against his left shoulder, cold leaking through the layers of clothes and into his skin until he has to fight to suppress a shiver.
He'd always fancied himself the hunter– he was the one who dealt with unsavory folks, in the end. But he felt like a rabbit pinned beneath the crosshairs of a gun this time. He could almost feel the teeth of the bear trap snapping shut around him, crushing bone and flesh beneath cold metal.
For a long moment he thinks he feels fear.
And with a sharp click and a burst of light, it's gone and he takes a raspy, choked breath as he blinks away the blurriness in his vision, taking in the room illuminated by the lamp.
He's not sure what he sees is better, though.
Because his body knows that their Divinity is as real as the blood running through his veins.
So why do they remind him so much of himself? Why does he see the look of the boy who died in a pool of blood not his own in them?
It is a sick, cruel kind of familiar.
Wriothesley didn't believe in superstition– but that was born of the unknown. He knew, now. He could reach out and touch the truth with his own two hands.
The throne of the world was a lie.
The thing sitting on it bled red. And if it bled, it could die.
He clenched his fists tighter– and released, letting his shoulders slump with a huff and a half hearted chuckle. "I wasn't expecting you to be in possession of a wanted criminal when you sent me that letter." He could see the gears whirring in their heads, the subtle dampness in the air reminding him just how delicate a situation it truly was.
He wasn't particularly inclined to getting blasted by a jet of water today.
"Relax, I'm not going to spill to anyone else. Seriously– don't get my jacket wet. It's expensive and a nightmare to dry." His lips quirk into a half smile, but it twists into something almost genuine at the laugh covered up by a cough he hears from the Divine. Bingo.
"It's fine, Neuvillette. Let him go." Their voice is like honey dripping from their lips, and he has to close his jaw with his hand before they can see the way it dropped in his surprise. "Of course, most Divine. My apologies." He relaxes at the sharp click of his heels as he joins them on the bed, his posture far more relaxed then he's ever seen. The Hydro Archon, much to his confusion and amusement, is far too invested in playing with their hair to pay much attention to him now that things have calmed, evidently.
Huh.
They seemed pretty cozy about it, he noted. He guesses they three of them had some time to get acquainted.
"So..who's going to explain what the hell is going on?" He probed, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the three carefully– they all looked tired, but even through the exhaustion neither seemed inclined to stray too far from the Divine. "And what exactly your plan is? You can't keep hiding them here forever. Someone will sniff them out sooner or later."
"We are aware," Neuvillette interjects, lips pursed into a thin line and his thin brows furrowed. "But as I'm sure you've noticed, the hunt for the..forgive me, most Divine, but the hunt for the alleged imposter is still at it's peak."
He grumbles in acknowledgment, hanging up his cloak by the door and sliding out of his heavy coat, resting it over the back of a nearby chair. "Hm. Suppose that's why the patrols are so common now a days."
"I'm afraid so. As you can imagine, we cannot simply ask them to..stop the search. It would draw unwanted attention and suspicion. The Divine would be found immediately if we tried to bring them out of the city at the moment." Neuvillette added, looking proper and elegant, despite the circumstances– even in the face of the Divine and the Archon turning on him and tugging his hair into intricate braids. "So I hope you understand that it was a great risk to send you that letter."
He rubs his chin, huffing in amusement– a solid plan, maybe, but his power didn't extend too far out of the Fortress. He had his connections, sure, but what use were they when he had to get the, uh, "imposter" out of Fontaine? Smuggling them out wouldn't be easy, and then there's the point of where to take them they'd have to contend with.
"Yeah, yeah– I get it. But it's not like I can just smuggle them out or keep them in the fortress. Even if we got them out of the city, we'd have to find somewhere to bunker down, and if someone spots any of us lingering there.." Archons, what a mess he'd gotten himself into. He was really looking forward to the next time he could kick his feet up with a cup of tea.
"I understand. I have already made plans, in fact." Neuvillette hesitates, and he can feel the temperature drops a few degrees. "I..cannot share them in full at the moment, but it is not for a lack of trust." Neuvillette reasoned, hands folded neatly in his lap– not that it hid the way they shook slightly. He wanted to ask, but he thought better of it.
"Eh, I don't hold it against you. The walls have ears, even up here." He deflected, running a hand through his hair. He really hoped Sigewinne wouldn't ask too much when he gets back. "I trust your judgment." He hesitates for a long moment, pulling out a simple, neatly folded letter of his own.
"Memorize the code words, then burn it. I'll be waiting for your next letter." He murmurs, plucking his coat and cloak and tugging them back on one after another, shuffling back over to the latched door. He hesitates again, his hand lingering on the door.
"I just hope your plan is worth the risk, Neuvillette."
He leaves before he can respond, the harsh click of the door ringing in his ears even as he steps back into the shadows of the night.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#furina#neuvillette#wriothesley#furina in the back just awkwardly sitting there bc she aint fighting wrio KHSDKHFKHJ#she was there for his trial when he killed two adults as a CHILD shes not fighting the adult version no ty#also writing reader to be as lowkey eldritch horror as possible. they r just playing nice rn but :)#reader collecting fontaine chars like pokemon cards#anyway wow i wonder what his plan is...wonder who it is he's involved besides wrio.......haha#cough cough#:]#looks at my other fics. haha.........ha....#anyway#slowly bringing in the key players one by one but it's probably gonna be in multiples now#if u guess correctly who neuvi is making plans w u get a lopsided gold star sticker that says “good job!” :]#i promise the lore will make sense soon (it wont im making it up as i go along)#if u see any typos no u didnt#zzzzzzzzzzzz gn#fic tag
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Yea funkifies them puts them in a deck gambles with them throws them on the floor 52 pickup
#Lupin Saturday y’all!#drew these two months ago for my fic but I’m writing it so slow I worry no one will ever see it#there r other good images for the fic too this is just my favorite#lupin iii#lupin the third
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Last of her kind
Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader-
cw/tags: This chapter has no smut but still contains highly suggestive themes and sexual implications. Mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. fem!reader suffers with self-worth and bad memories, including past insults and abuse.
notes: After so long finally part 2!! EEEEEEEE I am so excited but also so nervous pls ;w; like if you want the first part can be read as a standalone and have a "happy ending" but now I am committed to the emotional roller coaster, A/B/O dynamics and LONG BURN PINING so yep >:3c hope this does justice to everyone's expectation tho. And hope you like it and accompany me on this tale hehe
As a lil sidenote brackets [] now indicate past actions/words and bad memories, regular italics for emphasis, inner thoughts or the little pinyin I sprinkled here (which btw is taken straight from genshin wiki so...).
<- Part 1.
Being precious all of the sudden was… different.
Your hand subconsciously kept touching your bonding mark, as if to make sure it was still there, to soothe you.
After a quick meal just between Zhongli and you, consisting of some soft rice buns and delicious minced meat packaged inside a crispy pastry shell, you were then offered some new clothes. It was much more elaborate and certainly more layered than anything you’d worn before: a long skirt and flowy sleeves in a silky soft fabric, beautifully embroidered and hastily modified to make a hole for your tail to slip out. A sash keeping everything in place while accentuating your figure. You immediately loved it although it felt a little heavy and restricting.
Now, you quietly follow Zhongli as he leads you around the palace. He’s back to his former fully-human appearance, wearing an elegant attire, and everywhere you go, people bow at him and cast curious silent glances at you. It was rather unnerving.
It’s fine, you are used to being stared at, judged. You hold your tail up close for comfort.
The place is huge and you quickly get lost trying to map it out in your head, simply following along until you reach a large room with a few simple beds scattered around. Bookcases and cabinets stacked the walls, filled with all sorts of books, papers, jars and things. A pungent smell present in the air.
A green-haired man leans over a desk, glasses perched on his nose as he frantically scribbles some notes. What seems like powders and plants litter the space around him, along with a few more glass containers, incense, and a tea set with a steaming fresh cup.
“Baizhu.” Zhongli’s voice calls and you stiffen a little, hearing it again after a while of silence. It is still warm and deep but with a more reserved and regal tone like when he first met you.
The green-haired man (a Beta, you recognize) looks up and blinks in surprise, then smiles brightly and says some words you do not understand, you shuffle in place.
“Yes, this is her.” Zhongli replies. “I will ask you to speak in in common tongue so she can understand as well, I don’t want to unnecessarily unnerve her.”
Well, that is… very considerate. It eases you a little.
“Of course, your majesty.” He turns to you, his eyes were a bright amber, also with slitted pupils. Was it common in liyuens? “My name is Baizhu, the royal doctor and apothecary, pleased to meet you, empress.”
Empress?!
“E-Empress?!” You can’t help but blurt out.
“Why of courssse.” A high-pitched voice hisses and you almost jump when a white snake peaks her head from her coils at the desk, staring up at you. “You’re mated to hisss majesssty the emperor, sssso, it would be underssstood you’re now the empresssss.” Her split tongue flickers.
Baizhu chuckles. “Changsheng, be nice.”
You don’t know what to answer, mostly because you’re still reeling from the fact that you’re apparently now an empress, and because there’s a talking snake.
Liyue is weird…
“I decided to bring her here exactly because of that.” Zhongli turns to you and suddenly holds one of your hands, softly, staring at you with such affection it makes you melt. “Darling, would you let him check your bonding mark for a moment?”
You’re a little nervous, but it is not like you can refuse… right? You nod quietly.
Baizhu approaches and examines your neck and you fight the urge not to flinch or growl. No Omega likes it when a stranger is so close to such a sensitive spot. He hums and tilts his head but doesn’t touch you. “It seems it’s already healed due to her illuminated beast blood but the scar is present. I’d say the bond has been properly established, congratulations your majesty.” He smiles warmly.
A grateful bubbly feeling creeps up your chest. Properly established. So, it’s true.
You feel Zhongli’s hand squeeze yours lightly and look down at it, then back up at him. “Thank you, Baizhu. I will not keep you any longer. We still have a lot to do and I’m sure you do as well.”
Baizhu bows at him (at both of you, you realize) and then you’re on your way. Not before hearing the snake’s hissy whispers again
“A fine yin, hm…?”
--------------------------------------------
This is… your new home.
Zhongli shows you around some of the areas in what he called the “inner court” of the palace complex. Everything is so… large and open and lavish it has your head spinning, your eyes darting in every direction trying to take in all at once, walking fast on your new clothes. He guides you along the dining hall, a small temple, crosses through an enormous main hall where he explains audiences are held, and then a gorgeous outer garden that completely takes your breath away.
The wooden gilded architecture in golds and reds, the fresh wind and gentle sun. All sorts of new sounds and smells. The painted walls and high ceilings. The new plants and flowers. The chatters in a different language… everything is so distinct from the desert.
You soak in the new environment. Inhaling deeply.
It is both terrifying and exhilarating.
Finally, he guides you to another room, it looks similar to the nest room where you’d first been at, but larger. It is sparsely decorated with a large and comfy looking-bed, a desk, mirror and a small table with a couple chairs and a tea set. It smells nice enough.
You peek up at Zhongli.
“This will be your room.” He explains.
…What?
“We kept it simple for now but you are, of course, free to furnish and decorate it however you’d like. It’s close to my own room and anything you might need.”
Wait what?
Your ears lower down and you seem to deflate a little, disappointed. “H-Huh? But… I-I won’t be sleeping with you?” You ask softly.
Mated pairs sleep together, don’t they? They share living chambers and mix their scents together to symbolize their union. That’s what you’ve always been told. You are to always be near your Alpha, at his beck and call, warm up his bed and be ready to please.
Maybe things are different in Liyue? Or maybe it’s because he’s an emperor. Master didn’t tell you anything, so maybe you are just making a fool of yourself right now on your-
Zhongli clears his throat and looks at you a little surprised “I simply thought you’d be more comfortable having your own space, we… don’t really know each other very well yet, and I wouldn’t want to impose.”
Impose? As in order? But he’s your Alpha! “B-But I want to! Please! I-I mean… I thought that since we’re b-bonded…” You mumble shyly.
His cheeks turn a little pink, you like when that happens, he looks a lot less serious. He cups your cheek and you inhale looking up at those gorgeous golden eyes. “My dear dragoness. I don’t want you to feel forced to do anything you don’t want to. I know you were raised… differently, I cannot claim to understand your experiences, but listen to me: you are safe here.” He says the last part slowly, enunciating each word. “No one will scold you or punish you, least of all me. I want you to be free to speak and choose what you want.” He sighs. “Though I know it’ll be difficult...”
Furnish, impose, free… you don’t know any of those words.
But no punishment, to choose what you want, to be safe… it sounds surreal even.
What do you want?
His eyes soften at your nervous silence. “Let’s try this… do you really want to share my room, or would you like to stay here? I won’t be upset if you do.”
“I…” Your tail curls around you. “I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.” You mumble.
“Then it would be my honor, however, this room will stay ready if you change your mind, alright?” You glance around at the room again, and nod. “Now that that is settled, I have one last thing to do. I need to introduce you to a few very special people before I leave to-”
“Leave?!”
You didn’t mean to yelp like that.
“J-just to do my duties, I am not leaving you, I promise.” He corrects, a little taken aback. “I am sorry my dear, but as much as I’d like to spend every moment by your side right now, I have a few pressing matters to tend to. I know you’re nervous, everything is new and scary and overwhelming but I promise I’ll leave you in good hands and be back as soon as I can.”
You nod, now feeling a little embarrassed at the whole ordeal. You’d been feeling so at ease with his presence, showing you around, listening to his voice name and explain everything you saw that you’d almost forgotten. “You’re the emperor, I’m sure you’re very busy. No need to worry about me, I’ll behave, my lord.”
He frowns a little at that but says nothing, and you choose to say nothing else either.
Going back to the main hall, you immediately spot three people lined up looking at you with a mix of the already expected curiosity and excitement. One of them in particular immediately catches your attention, he’s an Alpha and you can’t help but feel a little nervous…
“Allow me to introduce you, these three are my most loyal and closest council members: Ping, Ganyu and Xiao.” Zhongli gestures at them and all three bow lightly. “Like you and I they all have the blood of xiānshòu, and you can ask them for anything should you need help or have questions. I hope you learn to trust them and feel at ease.”
You nod quietly, still a bit fixated on the other Alpha.
“Xiao, or general Alatus, is one of Liyue’s strongest, most resilient and skilled warriors. He usually keeps guard at the palace to ensure my wellbeing and now yours as well, if you ever feel danger call out his name and he’ll come.”
Ah, did they notice you were staring…?
With a gesture of his hand Xiao manifests a gorgeous Jade spear, crystalline green shards reflecting light as he taps it by his side, standing firm, you flinch in surprise. “My spear shall now serve you too, empress.” His eyes too are golden and sharp, filled with a certain rigidness and determination you can’t quite put your finger on.
“Thank you, Xiao, dismissed.”
Xiao hums quietly and promptly disappears in a burst of black and green smoke, you stand there a little startled, your hand clings to the brown fabric of Zhongli’s sleeve.
“He might be an Alpha as well, but I promise you he’ll cause you no harm.” Your alpha murmurs softly towards you.
“O-okay…” You squeak, a bit embarrassed.
“Ganyu here is one of the most reliable people in the palace, perhaps the entirety of Liyue. Everything of importance reaches her ears and passes through her eyes. She’s able to organize meetings, events, report, compile information and assist every negotiation and decision of this palace with stunning efficiency. She too will help you with anything you need and might be in charge of a little logistics regarding you settling in for the next few days.” Zhongli smiles.
The young woman with long blue hair and… horns? chuckles and blushes a little. “Your majesty, you're too kind, I merely love doing my job.” She puts her hands together and beams at you, sunset eyes bright. “I’m so honored to meet you, rest assured I’ll take care of anything you need. I hope you feel comfortable and welcome at the palace!”
That sounded like a lot. You weren’t used to people coddling you like this. You didn’t want to give anyone trouble or work. “T-that’s alright, thank you.”
“Now, Ping is probably going to spend the most time with you, she’s very knowledgeable in culture, history and the inner workings of the palace amongst other things. She has graciously offered to teach you liyuen and anything else you’d be interested in.”
Unlike the other two Ping has a certain calm aura to her, contrasting Xiao’s seriousness and Ganyu’s excited energy. You can tell she’s a gentle old soul as she approaches you with a soft wrinkled smile and graying hair.
“Don’t worry young empress, while Lord Morax here is regrettably busy with a work-packed schedule,” She gives him a playful side stare “You and I will have some fun. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” She takes your hand and pats it comfortingly. It’s kind of an awkward gesture for you, but you still welcome the warmth and good intentions.
Zhongli chuckles quietly. “In that case, I’ll leave you in her care and see you at night for dinner, alright?” He seems to hesitate for a moment but then cups your face in his hands and places a soft kiss at your forehead. The unexpected gesture has you blushing scarlet and your heart speeding up like crazy. His thumb brushes at the scales under your eyes, so affectionate in the smallest ways… “I know it’s not ideal, but it’ll be fine, yes?”
You stare at his golden eyes, the red lines, his handsome face framed with dark hair, his serene smile.
You don’t like this. You don’t want him to leave. The idea makes you uncomfortable.
But it’s not like you can say no.
You nod.
“Thank you, Ping.” Both of them exchange a glance and then he turns to the blue-haired woman still in the room. “Ganyu, if you will.”
“Right away your majesty!” She scurries after him, talking quickly in foreign tongue while both walk away.
You stare after him for a moment longer.
“It’s a little difficult, isn’t it?”
You quickly turn back to Ping and then look down, ears folding back.
She laughs softly. “No need to be ashamed dear, it is understandable that you are unsure with all this, it’s a lot of changes for such a short time and you bond is still fresh, but let’s take it easy.”
Your hand brushes at Zhongli’s bonding mark again. “O-Okay…”
“Are you hungry? Tired? Perhaps you want to rest a little?”
You want to scurry away to your mate’s room and curl up there, that’s what you want, but…
“Um, aren’t you… going to train me?”
Ping blinks a little taken aback “Train? Oh! Teach?”
Same thing.
“Well, yes. I did offer, but only if you’re feeling up to it young empress. You can take your time, we don’t have to start right away. And like I said, take it easy, it's only your second day here.” She explains. “You won’t be absorbing any information if you are uncomfortable and jittery like this.”
“S-sorry-”
“No need to apologize at all. Now tell me, is there anything you’ve seen or heard today that you’re curious about, anything you want to do?”
What you want…
You think back a few hours earlier. The infirmary, the small temple, the grand hall, and…
“The garden.” You speak. “Can we go outside and see?”
Ping smiles brightly. “Of course! I’m sure there are a lot of things there that will catch your interest and cheer you up.”
Your tail sways a little after you as you follow the old lady along the corridors.
------------------------
The garden is breathtaking.
More than a garden it feels like a whole different world. Bright and exciting and colorful, full of life. It reminds you of an Oasis, but just… more!
A grand pond with multicolored fishes and a couple of turtles sunbathing. Walk paths made of stone, plants everywhere you see: in trees with vibrant yellows, oranges and all shades of greens, in flowers with soft colors and small petals, in thick bushes. The light filters through the leaves and there’s the soft tweets of small birds.
“It’s… so pretty!” You exclaim happily.
“I’m glad you think so. Gardens like this are carefully cared for and preserved to impress, but they also represent beauty, abundance a sense of harmony.” Ping explains as she is now the one following after you, skipping along the path. “These trees you see are sandbearers, and that one is a ginkgo tree, you can tell the difference by the shapes of their leaves.” She points at each one and you follow with your gaze, picking a small leaf from the floor, golden and fan-shaped.
“Ooh…”
“See those smaller fishes? They’re goldfishes. The bigger ones are kois.” She gestures at the animals freely swimming around. Some of them are huge!
“What do they eat?” You blurt out.
“Well, usually algae and wheat. We can get some another day and you can feed them.”
“Really?!”
“Of course.”
“Oh! Is that a koi too? It’s so… long and pretty.”
“Ah, that one is a golden koi. Lord Morax has a few of them here. They are also called Jīnchì Jiǎlóng or ‘false dragons’ you know? For the small horns and long bodies. They do resemble your tail a little, don’t they?”
You move your tail forward and stare at it, then stare at the serpentine fish.
“Yes, sort of… Jin chi… jia long.” You mumble.
“Here, I think you’ll like these ones. Come with me.” You eagerly follow after Ping as she rounds the pond and guides you towards a few red bushes. They’re dotted with pink round flowers. “These are silk flowers, Nícháng-huā, usually harvested to make clothes, but there are many special ornamental variants and between us both, your dear mate has a weak spot for these so he has quite the collection.” She chuckles.
“Orna…metal?”
“Ornamental, it means mostly for decoration.”
“Oh!” Suddenly you feel dumb, you’d thought for a second that was a liyuen word too. “I’m sorry… I don’t even know common tongue very well.” How could you even expect to learn liyuen?
“No worries, dear, learning a new language is a daunting task, it takes a bit of work every day. If you keep learning, using and practicing words, you’ll get there.”
You smiled softly. Ping was so… patient and supportive.
So much different from…
[You have to try harder.]
[Tch that is not good enough.]
[Are you stupid?!]
[Useless omega.]
You looked at the budding silk flowers and blinked. Once. Twice. Why was your vision blurry now? What was this feeling?
“Oh, oh young empress please don’t cry. It’s alright” Ping’s alarmed remark helps you understand. She fusses over you. “Are you ok?”
You wipe at your tears and smile, a genuine bright smile.
“I’m fine.”
And this time, you truly mean it.
----------------------------------------
After a rather fancy bath (the kind of like you used to take before being presented to Alphas, with bubbles and scented oils...) and a good dinner Zhongli and you headed over for his chambers for the night. You couldn’t help but be a little… nervous.
This is stupid. He’s your Alpha.
He’s been nothing but kind to you.
What if he wants to… d-do things?
Then you’ll do it. He’s your mate. It’s your obligation.
You were the one who chose this anyway.
Your heartbeat was loud in your ears, anxiety creeping up your chest. Were your fingers trembling? Was the room suddenly cold?
As expected, the bedroom was quite matching his style. Golds, browns and a bit of red and black here and there. Dragon imagery adorning some of the walls, a tea cabinet with a small table and shelves filled with all sorts of trinkets from precious stones and books to a beautiful fan and a tea set.
And then there was the bed.
A large canopy bed, enough to probably have your body and tail fully stretched across and still fit in the mattress, beautifully decorated and filled with fabrics and pillows.
The scent of Zhongli’s Alpha pheromones was definitely strong.
He yawns and runs a hand along his forehead, combing along his hair before pulling out the clip on it, letting his long dark locks spill free. He takes off his robe revealing his naked torso and you jolt.
It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.
You undress as well into your light sleeping clothes and gingerly slip into his bed, curling up around his pillows, surrounded by his scent.
His.
You are his.
It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine-
“Darling, is everything alright? Are you uncomfortable?” He asks concerned, climbing on the bed as well and reaching out to touch your arm. You squeak. “You’re… terrified, what’s wrong?” Then Zhongli’s eyes widen a little. “Oh. The scent… I completely overlooked that, my apologies. Is it too strong? Are you ok? Should have given you some things earlier for you to scent and include them here. This is no good…” He rambles a bit to himself as he sits up and crosses his arms thoughtfully.
You stare at him, anxiety still surging through your veins but now mixed in with confusion.
“Would you like to sleep in the other room we prepared for you instead?” He sighs.
“I… t-this is… you… would just let me leave?”
Zhongli tilts his head slightly, now he looks confused.
“I promised you that the room would be available-”
“So, you don’t want to mate?”
Silence.
He stares at you for a moment as you grip at the bedsheets, still tense.
His eyes widen as realization settles in.
Ah. The pink dusting in his cheeks is back.
“Y-You thought that… no! My dear, no, no, no…” He coughs into his fist awkwardly. “I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea. A-As I said before I want you to be comfortable and feel safe. No Alpha will force you to do anything you don’t want. Not even me. And you don’t have to feel forced to do things you don’t want to, either.”
You look down. Although you feel slightly more relieved.
“I want to stay here. A-and if you want to, I’ll service you, my lord. I was just… nervous, sorry.”
“I assure you there is no need for any of that.” He says softly. “Here.”
He pulls the covers and slips them over you both, lying down facing you but still keeping a little distance. You do the same, curled up face to face with him.
He’s so effortlessly handsome.
And kind.
And you like him.
But he’s still an Alpha.
“Is this alright? We’re just going to sleep, I promise.” He brushes some hair away from your face.
You nod.
“Is there… anything you want to talk about or ask me?”
You... don’t know.
You shake your head.
“Hmmm. Want to share about your day? What were you up to with Ping?” He gives you a playful smile. Suddenly he feels less like an imposing strict emperor, or like a scary Alpha. He’s just your Zhongli.
“She… showed me the garden. I wanted to see.”
“Ah, the royal garden has many fascinating sights and it’s a beautiful landscape to retreat to and ease one’s mind. I had the feeling you’d be interested.”
“There were so many beautiful things. She taught me about the silk flowers, nícháng-huā. And all the trees and fishes and birds.”
“Oh? Are these your first words in liyuen, my dear?”
You giggle. “I… suppose they are. She also showed me your turtles Jiàn and Fù and told me what their names mean, they are so cute. Oh! And we saw the liúlí bah… bai… bǎihé! I sang to them and they bloomed! It was... amazing.”
“I see. Not everyone can achieve that, I’ll admit I’m quite hopeless at singing.” He chuckles “What more did you learn?”
Feeling much more content and at ease you continue retelling all the new things you had experienced and the vocabulary you had learned including how to introduce yourself and some greetings and basic words. Talking for what felt like hours until weariness and sleep claimed you both.
Zhongli simply listened and stared at you, captivated. He seemed content as well.
It made you happy.
------------------------------------------
For the next couple of months, you established a sort of routine.
You’d wake up early alongside Zhongli, even though you didn’t need to, you simply enjoyed having some morning tea and breakfast with him. Afterwards he’d go tend to some of his official duties and you’d stay with Ping Lǎolao, learning more and more each day. By now you could even follow some basic conversation (provided the other person didn’t speak too fast) although reading and writing was still extremely difficult.
You’d expressed interest in some gardening and even headed to the kitchens to prepare some food by yourself. The maids claimed there was no need for the empress to do such ‘menial tasks’ but as an Omega you pride yourself in certain things, and cooking for your Alpha was something you’d yearned to do.
You were overjoyed when Zhongli praised your Jade parcels.
You’d always have lunch with him and some days he’d accompany you for a stroll or you’d stay at his study for some leisure time, or even at some meetings. It had been a little unnerving at first but you also knew it was important to know others and be known in the council, as well as understand Liyue outside of the palace walls. After all, you are an empress now.
At night, you slept close to him. The initial awkwardness of sleeping at opposite sides of the bed soon traded for a much cuddlier approach, often with you curled up to Zhongli’s chest or him spooning you, tails often intertwined together. The bed and the entire room now have a mix of your combined scents, like true mates.
And so, life was good…
------------------------------------------
You’re slowly pulled out of your sleep as Zhongli stirs in the bed. You grumble a little and yawn, already missing his warmth. It was so pleasant…
“Good morning, my dear dragoness.”
“Morning…” You mumble, not opening your eyes and instead blindly reaching for his pillow to hug and cling to. “Can we stay for longer?” You whine.
“You definitely can, but I have to go.” He kisses your forehead “Rest, my dear.”
You pout but say nothing. Squeezing at the pillow and burying your face in it.
It smells so good…
------------------------------------------
“Hmm… is it warmer today?” You wonder aloud as the maids help you up with the layers of your hanfu. The clothes still hot and heavy in contrast to what you used to wear at the desert, but today seemingly more so… the sash feels more constricting than usual. “I-I think I’d like to wear something a little lighter… if possible.”
“Of course, your majesty, no problem.”
You smile at them, grateful.
--------------------------------------------
Sitting at Zhongli’s study room you practice some basic liyuen calligraphy while he seemingly goes over some important documents. The silence is comfortable and a warm cup of Qixing tea steams at both desks. Yet, something keeps bothering you.
You huff lightly, scratching and picking at the scales of your tail, irritated with the uncomfortable feeling. Why is it so itchy? A couple of them fall off, revealing new glossy ones underneath.
“Ah…” So that means…
You stop for a moment. The feverish feeling, scents being stronger on your nose, the urge to nest and cling to your mate.
Hmm… part of you is a little excited. And yet, there is fear.
------------------------------------------
“You have quite the appetite today, dear. Eat slowly, the food won’t go anywhere.” Ping chuckles as you practically pick a little of every dish while still trying to keep some modicum of elegance. Chopsticks weren’t that easy after all.
“Yes… I think… I think it’s my pre-heat hormones.” You sigh before munching on a shrimp ball.
Your heat…
Your first heat with Zhongli. With any Alpha to be honest. You’d always had to endure them on your own (Master couldn’t have you get pregnant) and they were excruciating and debilitating, crying out for days with your skin burning and itching, trying to sate yourself with your fingers and humping pillows. But now… you’re happily bonded.
Would it… feel good again?
Like, that first time you two mated…
You feel your cheeks heat up.
“Excuse me?”
“Hm?”
You’re brought back to reality to see Ping staring at you seemingly a little alarmed.
“Pre-heat? Young empress, are you going into heat soon?”
“Y-yeah? Probably um, tonight…? Or tomorrow.” The onsets are always so quick, and your cycle has always been more or less stable.
The elder places her chopsticks down. “Have you told Lord Morax?”
“Um. N-No, not yet. But… m-maybe he already caught on...” You tilt your head.
…Right?
Then again even you took a couple of days to identify the signs, and now for sure you were at the brink of it. Maybe he’ll mate you tonight…
Hm… how will Zhongli react to your heat scent?
You have to do your best!
[Be a good omega.]
Ping stands up, her expression still gentle but with a sort of urgency to it, your instincts catch the feeling she’s worried about something.
“I have to inform about this, please stay here dear.”
Now you’re nervous. You nod slowly.
Why does it feel like you did something wrong…?
------------------------------------------
After that, things get… chaotic.
It’s only a while later that you find yourself at the infirmary. Ganyu and Zhongli are also there and everyone’s anxious pheromones in the air do not sit well with you (subtle as they are, your nose is hyperaware right now).
“I’m sorry the symptoms are already settled in. At this point it is simply not feasible to give her suppressants, she has to go through this heat.” Baizhu says, looking troubled.
Feasible? Suppressants? More unknown words but…
Is there something wrong with your heat?
Ganyu scurries off and Ping starts talking with Baizhu on the other side of the room. You cling to Zhongli’s robe, trying to soothe yourself with his presence but his scent is… agitated.
You whine to call out to him. You’re scared.
“Did I do something wrong?”
Zhongli pulls you close, cupping your face again, staring straight at you. “No… no my dear dragoness, of course you didn’t, it’s just…” He steels himself searching for the right words, it doesn’t ease you in the slightest. “We didn’t expect your heat so soon. I should have known, noticed… I’m sorry.”
Why is your alpha apologizing to you? That is ridiculous.
“Is it a bad thing?”
“It’s… not the right time.”
You’re so confused.
Don’t Alphas like it when Omegas are in heat? Soft, pliant, warm, needy and ready to breed.
“I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do this…” He says. “And… you could trigger my rut, you could end up pregnant. I don’t want to… scare you, or hurt you. It’s much too soon for us to share your heat. I thought we’d have more time for you to get acclimated to Liyue or…” He shakes his head. “Nevermind. For the next few days you’ll be in a separate room, yes? No one will disturb you during your heat, I promise.”
“B-But then… I… what…?”
Alone?
“Usually omegas take suppressants, like a type of medicine, to stave off their heats so they don’t have to face these risks or suffer them alone, and then when they’re ready, when they want, they choose to share heats with their partners.” He explains.
“But I want to! I… I’ll be good!”
Zhongli sighs. “Darling you are good, you are precious to me. You don’t need to prove anything or do things because they are ‘expected’ of you.”
He’s not listening!
He asks you what you want. He says you can choose. But now that you tell him, ask him, beg him even… he denies you?
How come you’re always making the wrong choice?
Was it all a lie then?
“But I- T-then- Why-… YOU’RE CONFUSING ME!!” You yell, tears stinging in your eyes.
There are a few gasps and you see not only Baizhu and Ping, but Ganyu and some of the maids staring at you in shock. You cover your mouth, eyes wide at the sudden burst of fierceness and emotion.
You yelled at him.
You talked back.
You should be punished.
He stares at you, frozen like a statue for a few moments. You stare at him, pitiful, your eyes begging. A whimper leaves you and Zhongli lets out a shuddering breath.
Oh, your Alpha wants you, you know it.
"Please..." You mumble, voice so small.
"I'm sorry my dear, it's better this way." His hand moves towards you, to cup your face again or brush at your hair you're not sure, but he stops himself before you can find out. He sighs, averting his gaze and looking conflicted, and then turns around.
This is your punishment.
"It'll be just a few days, you'll be well-cared for. This is for the best." He says sternly, voice pinched.
And then he leaves.
Your heart shatters.
Everything is a blur after that. You’re gently guided along towards an empty nest room, the same one you'd first met him at, there are some things with both your scents on it but they feel sterile, washed anew.
Your hands start trembling. Your eyes start to water. Your lips quiver. Your throat feels tight, choked and dry. Your body feels feverish, hot and restless.
Zhongli rejected you.
“Your majesty please calm down."
[Useless.]
[Moron.]
[Whore.]
You could no longer breathe, hear nor see. You feel like you're drowning, unable to process what just happened. Your mate…your precious mate…he…he…
He abandoned you.
“Your majesty…?"
You scream.
#genshin x you#genshin impact x you#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#crys writes#fem reader#LohK#just in case (?)#minors dni#c l i f f h a n g e r :)))))#I am in my evil era (?)#zgvcgjahbcajsncaj gods the emotions and issues here are so complex pls talk to me about the fic I will happily rant a lot#I love dragoness reader so much is2g#I want her to be happy#bit it'll be a journey until there#shoutout to honorary sisterwive guizhong speedwagon and her tiny husband for their cameos (????)#golden kois are my fav genshin fish can you tell?#also I decided on silk flowers and later remembering of all the variaties zl talks about during the archon quest and lmao#anyway ty all ILU byeeee
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i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ
also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!
#ninja showdown#my immortal soul#first ninja x chase young#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#rc9gn#chase young#xiaolin showdown#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#rc9gn plop plop#well i say smol fic.... but those 4k words felt very long.#i did say i was going to direct my energy into writing >.> and now look at me ive gone insane#no actually dont look at me im just gonna go cry over my 20k words of rough drafts for like dozen ideas that are now going#to haunt my every waking moment like JESUS i woke up today and literally wrote out 1k words of an idea for a modern au for those two TToTT#its literally an au where its a meet cute turned meet violent and first is randy's sorta dad and chase wants to adopt omi#not to mention a different AU where its an epic mystery adventure AAAAAAA someone heeeelppppp meeeee#also. its been a month but im still staring so intently at missadmyre's fic hoping for another crumb. like thank you sm for the food!!!!#ive literally been rereading it several times after i went insane about it on my main blog and im still slurping at it like a starved perso#Ive been collecting my ideas like a dragon but after reading that fic i was like: I WANT TO READ MORE FICS ABOUT THEM#but i dont wanna be a whiny baby&beg others and be annoying about it. So i put on my big person pants and was like f it WE R WRITINg NOW#so i dont care how bad my writing will be. we gonna be balling on those ideas and YES it doesnt make sense im just v rambly rn
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Blossoms
Summary: Sequel to Flowers where you and Jack have decided to start dating, but you get cold feet when an intimate moment is interrupted.
Warnings: Fem!reader, angsty to fluffy, pretty suggestive (references and light descriptions of: hand jobs, public sex and male anatomy) 18+ to be safe, but it’s not actually smutty
“I’ll give you two minutes...”
You let your voice trail off as your fingers danced down Jack’s torso to grab the hem of his pants. You loved the way he looked in gray sweatpants, but seeing him in these black jeans that hugged his hips just right made you absolutely wild. You hadn’t really noticed Jack’s outfit when he emerged from the bedroom. Your brain was still reeling from the moment he emerged in just a towel. Now, you had the opportunity to see that Adonis belt you glimpsed earlier up close and personal. You leaned forward and Jack closed the distance between you two to lay a kiss on your lips. It was short and sweet. You could tell the anticipation was building. You talked a big game and you were positive you were going to deliver.
Jack’s pupils were dilated, almost swallowing his pale blue orbs. His mouth, a gorgeous bright pink from his ability to hydrate, was slightly open, almost in a pant. He was watching you intently as your finger nimbly undid the button of his jeans. You zipped down his fly and once it hit the bottom of his seam, you slipped the other hand into palm him gently. It was tight fit given that his jeans was so tailored to him and his arousal made him strain against you even more. You used the hand outside of his pants to pull them down more.
A knock-then-open combo on the hotel door made you both freeze into place.
Neelam, Jack’s manager, was standing in the doorway, mouth agape. Her light brown eyes were staring widely at your predicament. There was no explaining your way out of this one. Not only was your hand down Jack’s pants, his lips were painted in your lipstick. But you were determined.
“A-Are you two...” Neelam choked out.
“There we go...” You cooed, pulling Jack’s pants to hold it tight with one hand, dragging up the zipper with the other. You hoped it was convincing that you were just helping him get dressed. You turned toward Neelam and shrugged with a half laugh, “Skinny jeans, am I right? Jack was having a little trouble so, I came to the rescue.”
Neelam frowned, unsure. You dared not to look at Jack, unable to imagine the look he was giving you. You could feel his eyes on the side of your face like they were piercing through you. The tension in the air was palatable, the sexual frustration that felt like a warm fog had somehow morphed into an awkwardness that pricked at your skin. You cringed involuntarily thanks to a chill that run up your spine.
You licked your lips as you tried to justify your behavior to yourself. You were doing this to save both of you. He should be admiring you for your quick thinking. It would be so hard to explain that you had both decided to start dating a couple of minutes. Wouldn’t it?
You saw Neelam’s eyes glance towards Jack. You caught him as he licked his lips, removing most of your smeared lipstick in the process. You subconsciously rubbed your own lips as you walked around the other side of the kitchen counter.
“I made an oopsie...” You told Neelam, trying to steer the conversation away from the obvious. “...I knocked over these flowers.”
Neelam’s nude colored pumps clicked on the tile of the kitchen as she walked over to where you stood. She gasped loudly, her tanned hands covering her mouth to pacify the sound. “Whoa, you knocked it clean off. Are you okay?”
“I did it.” Jack clarified, darkly. Both you and Neelam whipped your heads in his direction. You frowned at Jack as if to tell him no. Jack continued to speak anyway. “I hated those flowers and I had a bit of a meltdown.”
Neelam quirked a brow at Jack. She looked between you two, probably confused by your disappointed expression. She pointed fingers at both of you, crossing them back and forth as she spoke,
“I don’t know what’s going on between you two. If this meltdown was just because you had a bad day or...” Neelam glanced at you and then at Jack, “...something else. But we need to get you on the road.”
“Just one of those superstar meltdowns.” Jack said, loosely referencing what you had said earlier. “Y/n was just covering for me.”
You pursued your lips, dissatisfied. Sure, Jack did push it off the counter, but it was with your body. You were two consenting adults that were so lust-driven you completely lost your senses. You didn’t want Jack to feel like he had to take the fall for this. It wasn’t fair.
But, something in the air had shifted once again. You knew what it was on your side. You were terrified of this being official and what that meant for you both. You needed to sort things out before you told Jack’s management. Yes, Neelam was a friend, but at the moment, she represented Jack’s career. And yours.
“I’ll stay back and get this cleaned up.” You told Neelam, focusing your attention on her.
Neelam shook her head. “No, Y/n, you’re tired. It’s been a long day for you. I can send someone while I’m in the car.”
“No, you got the superstar to worry about it,” You pointed your thumb teasingly towards Jack, but it was hard to find the humor in your own words. “I can handle this. Getting out of conflict is what I do.”
“Maybe a little too well...” Jack muttered, walking towards the door without a second glance.
Neelam gave you a confused look and mouthed, “What the hell?”
You shrugged in response, not confident that you could explain to her why Jack was acting this way. You were still sorting out your own feelings. She gave you a quick hug and then walked after Jack with haste. You looked around at the mess and sighed deeply. You might as well start picking up the flowers.
~
You laid on your hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. Your room seemed tiny when you compared it to Jack’s. Yours was a single room, a bathroom on the right when you entered and a full King bed if you kept straight. There was an office desk and chair, an arm chair by large windows and a giant flat screen television that you only turned on for background noise. You knew that you got a nicer room in comparison to other non-talent members of the team. But, you also knew it was bothering you because you had convinced yourself that you and Jack would be spending the night together in his room. After all, your promise had incorporated the couch and bed in his room in many, many ways.
So, why were you holding yourself back? Up until now, you told yourself that you couldn’t make a move on Jack because he wasn’t serious about relationships. You couldn’t jeopardize your career for a couple of nights of sex. But, Jack was willing to make the plunge. He was going to have to put a label on your relationship and tell everyone in your lives that you were stepping down from his team to be with him. This was what you wanted and, yet, you were holding back. You were ignoring his text messages, blinking tears away while you stared into the darkness.
If you went to Jack’s hotel and slept with him, there was no turning back. You were going to be in a relationship with him and that was terrifying. Up until this afternoon, you weren’t completely sure Jack even liked you like that. Sure, the girl who looked like you was a promising, but it wasn’t a sure thing. Now, it all felt too real.
You read each text message from Jack, tears cascading from the side of eyes down your cheeks on to your pillow. His messages went from updating you on where he was to asking if you were coming over to just radio silence. He tried calling you a couple times, but you let all of them go to voicemail.
There was so much fear building inside of you. You knew that if you handled this poorly, you would lose everything. You knew that your professional relationship with hit a rough patch if you broke up, but you were starting to realize it was going to take a greater hit if you let this drag on.
~
The sound of a call buzzing woke you up. The blackout curtains in your hotel room worked a little too well. You shot up, your eyes glued to the alarm clock. It was 10am. Breakfast was at 9:30am. You picked up the phone, seeing Urban’s name on the caller ID.
“Hello?” Your voice was thick with sleep and you coughed slightly.
“You promised!” Urban groaned loudly. “Where are you?!”
“I know, I know...” You said, tossing the covers off of you. “I’m still in the hotel room.”
You pulled your phone from the charger and walked toward the bathroom. Your eyes were still a little puffy from last night. Nothing a little makeup couldn’t fix, but you were still not feeling your most confident.
“You better make it here in the next 20 minutes.” Urban warned, “I already ordered you pancakes. They are going to get cold and hard and you’re gonna still have to eat them.”
“Gross, no...” You protested with a small laugh, knowing he was only half-joking. “I’ll be there, I promise.”
“You better, young lady.” Urban said, still putting on his best dad voice.
“Bye...” You replied in a sing-songy voice before hanging up.
You let out a puff of air as you met your eyes in the mirror. The restaurant was 10 minutes from your hotel which meant you had 10 minutes to get ready. That wasn’t enough time to do anything elaborate. You decided to go for the “I just woke up like this” look that all girls knew was actually very deliberate, but pretended it was natural. You put on light makeup to enhance your features, did your usual hairstyle and put on an oversized sweater and leggings. You grabbed your phone and wallet before slipping on your sneakers and running out the door.
You made it in 30 minutes, but when you arrived, the pancakes had just hit the table. Everyone was already eating and Urban had a smug look on his face.
“I knew it would take you thirty minutes.” He said as you approached. He stood up and hugged you tightly before sitting back down and scooting in the booth for you to sit down.
Private Garden had taken over half of the restaurant. Jack and his team were stretched across a few booths, this one being the largest. You waved at everyone, your eyes lingering longer on Jack. His sky blue eyes were vacant as he stared at you, not bothering to return your wave. He was sitting in his pink New Balance hoodie with the hood up, leaning over to chew on his straw. You could feel his eyes glued to you as you sat down next to Urban which put you in the spot most diagonal for him.
“I didn’t know what kind you liked.” Urban said, gesturing to the pancakes. “So, I got you the regular ones.”
“This is good, thank you.” You smiled at him. “But, I would’ve gotten the chocolate chip ones here. I heard that they are supposed to be insanely good.”
“Huh,” Urban nodded a bit, turning away from you to look at Jack. “That’s what Jack said. That you would have probably gotten their special pancakes. Since you always take recommendations. I figured it was smart to be safe--”
Urban’s voice muted in the background as you looked over at Jack. You gave him a soft smile and he looked away from you, making your eyebrows knit together. You could tell something was wrong, but somehow you knew it was more than just what happened last night. Jack was really upset. He had barely touched his own breakfast and his straw was so chewed, you were surprised any liquid could get through.
“Sorry,” You apologized to Urban, knowing you had cut him off mid-sentence. “I need to speak to Jack about something.”
“Oh, yeah, go for it.” Urban said, but you were already up and walking to the other side of the booth. All the booths were connected to each other so, in order to walk to the other side you had to march down the aisle of booths, turn the corner at the end and then walk back to your original booth. The walk was lengthened because the members of PG were waving at you and stopping you to chat. Once you finally stood in front of Jack, he looked up at you as if you hadn’t witnessed this pilgrimage you completed to greet him. You rolled his eyes at his childishness, but you knew that you weren’t any better for ghosting him last night.
“Can I talk to you?” You asked him.
“Oh, now you want to talk?” Jack said, a little loudly, making your cheeks burn. You glanced up to see some of the people at the booth looking at you two.
“Yes.” You confirmed, in a lower voice. “Please? Privately?”
Jack seemed to think about it for a moment. He stood, his tall frame seeming to tower even more than usual. He turned on his heels, shoved his hands into his sweatpants pockets and led the way to the door. You followed him, rushing to keep his pace. He walked you around the back of restaurant, pulling his hood down in case anyone passing by would catch a glimpse of his curls.
You bit your lip as you looked up at him. “Are you mad at me?”
“Jesus--” Jack groaned loudly, running his hands down his face. “Really, Y/n? Ya think? Obviously, I’m upset right now.”
“Well, we should talk about it.” You said, getting more nervous as you saw his lip twitching in anger. “I’m sorry about yesterday, I got cold feet.”
“Cold feet?” Jack repeated. “What the f-ck was that? We were kissing and getting pretty into it and next thing you know, you’re patting me on the back and pushing me out the door.”
“I know, I know. Neelam made me nervous. I started to wonder if this was a bad idea.” You explained. “You know....you and me. Getting to know each other and being close.”
Jack’s jaw set as he turned his head away from you. He was staring upward and you assumed he was trying to contain his anger. He inhaled deeply.
“We know each other, Y/n. We’ve known each other for a long time. I would even say we’ve been close for a long time.” Jack swallowed. “The only thing difference is that a certain label was going to be put on things.”
“That’s not the only difference.” You insisted. “You and both know we were going to sleep together last night, Jack--”
“Is that so bad?” Jack cut in before you could complete your thought. “I mean do you not want to sleep with me? I’m fine taking it slow and all--”
“No.” You shook your head. “It’s just that...once we have sex, we are sealing this contract. And I am very scared of what’s going to come next.”
“I’m not exactly jumping for joy at the backlash either.” Jack confessed. “It’s a lot of pressure on me right now. To be in a relationship, that’s not something I take lightly. But I want you in my life. As mine. I’m willing to do this for us.”
“Jack, I didn’t realize...” You admitted. “It seemed so easy for you. It’s good to know that you were worried about it too.”
Jack looked at you wide eyes, his arms extending. “We could have talked about it if you picked up the damn phone yesterday. I was so freaking worried something happened to you. It was the only explanation as to why you were suddenly uninterested. Then Urban gives you one call in the morning and you fly down here looking fine as hell thanking him for some bland ass pancakes.”
You blushed. You knew he was upset, but you couldn’t help, but lock in on his last words. He thought you looked “fine as hell” like this? After months of dolling yourself and teasing him in pencil skirts, all it took was a bit of makeup and a comfy sweatshirt to get his attention. You wanted to laugh from the flattery.
“Jack...” You bit your lip. “...I messed up. You know how these things are. It’s always easier to talk to someone you’re not interested in. But, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Honest.”
Jack searched your face for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I know. It’s just, I dunno. Your reaction with Neelam and then flaking on me last night...you just seem ashamed of me.”
“Oh my god, no!” You said, a little loudly, walking closer to him. “I am not ashamed of you, Jack! If anything it should be you embarrassed to be with some dumpy girl.”
Jack closed the space between you two, your chests bumping in the process. You looked into his eyes as he cradled your face with his right hand.
“You are so far from dumpy, sweetheart.” He cooed, his voice in a whisper. “So far from it. I want you so bad and I’ve wanted you for so long.”
“I really like you, Jack.” You confessed.
Jack crashed his lips on to yours and you gripped his sweater to hold him to you. His tongue slipped past your lips and greeted yours, making the kiss more steamy. He pulled back slightly and stared down at you through his lashes.
“I really like you too, Y/n.” He responded before kissing you again.
You found your back pressed against the wall of the building, your legs wrapping around his waist. You heard a grunt rumble in the back of his throat and you sighed contently. You broke the kiss and stared into his eyes intensely, knowing they were just as lust-filled as the night before.
“Wanna do it?” You asked in a whisper, nibbling on your lip. “I’ll do it--”
“Not here.” Jack said, glancing around. “Not for our first time together. I’m classy like that.” He pecked your lips softly before giving you an over-the-top mega watt smile.
“Oh yeah?” You giggled softly.
“Plus, you still have some magic to show me. I believe something that you thought was flower worthy.”
“I do...” You cooed, lowering yourself so you could stand on your feet. You gently palmed him through sweatpants. Jack’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, his eyes flickering slightly. He grabbed your chin as he peered down at you, a glint in his eyes.
“You’re not gonna bait and switch me again, are you mamas?” There was a threatening tone to his voice that you had to admit aroused you more.
“Of course not...” You confirmed, slipping your hand past the waistbands of his pants. “I’d recommend calling your driver, I’m going to preoccupied for the next couple minutes...”
Jack hissed as you continued to palm him over his underwear, pulling out his phone to send a quick text.
“Three minutes.” He said, groaning.
“Think you’ll be able to make it until then?” You teased,
Jack shot you a glare, but the impact was lessened by a soft moan that fell from his lips as you gave his hardness a slight squeeze. “F-ck, maybe not.”
You leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss to suppress your giggle. You heard a couple beeps of the horn of a car. You pulled your hand from Jack’s pants and grinned at him. Jack pushed you towards the car with urgency. You laughed as you got in.
“Hey Phil,” You said as you slid into the car. “Think you could give us a little privacy?”
Once the divider went up, you gave Jack a mischievous grin. “I’ll give you five minutes this time.”
And this time around, you were able to follow through on your promise.
__
A/N: Requested by anon (who I am not sure wants to be named so keeping it hush hush) I kind of wanted to do a little angst since it’s been awhile. I’m also trying to be work on my fluff a little more, but I can’t let go of the suggestive stuff ._. I’ll blame Jack. My brain just goes there with this guy LOL Hope you liked it!!
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i love the idea of more refined/rich yanderes like chrollo & illumi dealing with a messy and ‘i don’t care what others think about me’ type darling.
you always have a few crumbs or smudges of food on your face. sometimes some dirt or grass stains in the new and very expensive robe he bought you. hair so frizzy and knotted that you whine and cringe when he tries to brush it for you.
chrollo won’t admit it, but he finds it all very endearing, and he can’t help but grow more madly in love with you every time he’s able to bring out his clean white handkerchief and softly wipe away dirt on your face. it makes him feel like some prince looking after his secret lover; a young peasant who just seems to need his help at every turn.
illumi sometimes finds it more mildly annoying than endearing, seeing you as some feral cat who hasn’t yet been integrated properly into home life. other times he jumps at the opportunity given to him, just as chrollo does. illumi is a little less reserved about it. pulling you into an either ridiculous freezing or nearly boiling hot bath, and scrubbing at you with a foresty scented soap (… it reminds him of you.) he’s a bit demeaning… seeing you as something he has to tame like some unruly pet. still, he doesn’t want to completely take that spark from you.
it’s one of the reasons he loves you so much, after all.
#maybe i’ll write that Chrollo prince fic but for reals…#cogs r turning…#tw yandere#tw.yandere#yandere#yanderecore#yandere chrollo#yandere chrollo x reader#yandere chrollo lucilfer#yandere chrollo lucilfer x reader#yandere illumi zoldyck#tw forced bath#forced nudity#tw forced nudity#yandere illumi#yandere illumi x reader#yandere Illumi zoldyck x reader#yandere hxh#yandere hxh x reader
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asking nerd Bakugou to give you a ‘pearl necklace’ and he starts grumbling about you tryna drain him dry but instead of pulling out his cock, he pulls out his phone to actually search for a pearl necklace </3
and to both his surprise and embarrassment, his phone is quickly tossed away in favor of you showing him what you’re actually asking for. he’s not mad though—not when you end up looking so pretty covered in white, grinning, and asking for another necklace <3
#I wanted to write this full out but my head actually feels like it’s gonna explode#I’ve been feeling a little more inspired lately tho which is great!!#I’ve been reading and watching (more watching) a lot of creative works/media#and I always forget how much it helps inspire creativity#I wrote a poem last night for the first time in a month I think#and now I wanna continue writing my original story and my tengen fic#I just hope the academic week doesn’t drain me too much this week#bc I would love to write more ;-; I miss it!!#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#my tags r still gone tho I hate this shit
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✱ atz, svt, txt, & skz fic recs ✱
MDNI 18+ (most if not all recs are smut)
fem / gen. neutral reader unless stated otherwise
★ – personal faves!
ATEEZ
☆ the drill — yunho x reader [m] @byuntrash101
★ the thing about pretty boys — seonghwa x reader [m] @wonusite
☆ first snow — wooyoung x reader [m] @cheollipop
☆ deep down (abo) — alpha!ot8 x reader [m] @seventhcallisto
★ the kraken — kracken!yunho x reader [m] @atzfilm
★ wonderwall — faeire!ot8 x reader [m] @atzfilm
☆ mind over matter — mingi x reader [m] @mingisaddctn
☆ coming of age — incubus!san x reader [m] @byuntrash101
☆ never say never — vampire!ot8 x reader [m] @seonghwaddict
★ into the aurora — idol!ot8 x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks
★ this night together (abo) — alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks
☆ treasure — yunho x wooyoung x san x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks
★ mists of celeste — ot8 space pirates!ateez x reader [m] @hongism
★ hotel california | book one — ot8 yandere!demonic entities!ateez x reader [m] @mint-yooxgi
★ paradise gardens | book two — ot8 yandere!demonic entities!ateez x reader [m] @mint-yooxgi
TXT
★ telepathy — mind reader!beomgyu x reader [m] @agustdiv1ne
☆ pose — yeonjun x reader [m] @agustdiv1ne
SEVENTEEN
☆ meet the parents — mingyu x reader [m] @sluttywoozi
☆ control me — gamer!wonwoo x reader [m] @duhnova
★ crawl — devil!jeonghan x reader [m] @himbocoups
★ a whisper from the forest — lumberjack!woozi x forest nymph!reader [m] @idyllic-ghost
☆ and the universe said, — idol!ot13 x reader [m] @thepixelelf
☆ greed — hoshi x reader [m] @cheolism
☆ after LIKE — mingyu x reader @sluttywoozi
STRAY KIDS
★ strange dreams — incubus!hyunjin x reader [m] @planetdream
MULTI
★ code of (mis)conduct — mingyu (svt) x san (atz) x reader [m] @sluttywoozi
#my apology for being so inactive lol#ive had no time to write#at all.#anyway give these amazing fics some love!!#🪐 — recs.smut!#⭐️ will (try to) update as frequently as possible :]#honestly wish i could put every mouthwatering piece of work i've ever read on here#but these r just the ones i could rmr
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hi i love your fics and I was wondering if you had any byler fic recs
thanks
hello there! in all honesty, i have not had the time to read a lot of byler fic as of late, but it’s been a while since i posted some recs so i’ll drop a few that i’ve enjoyed recently! as always, i do endorse every fic in my bookmarks to the highest possible degree, so always feel free to look through those for new reading as well <3
say it with your hands by pseudologia (@hellfiremike) — will is a new employee at the movie theater mike works at, and mike starts thirsting over will’s hands to a degree that’s downright detrimental to his employment status
GOD. this fic. i gushed in their dms immediately after finishing it because this might be my favorite modern will characterization of all time, and this is coming from someone who has a million and one takes on modern era will byers. this fic just checked all of my boxes — from the summertime romance to mike’s painfully in-character teenage angsting to will being a frequenter of star wars reddit threads and an enjoyer of sufjan stevens. and the TENSION. oh god the tension. i’ve read all their fics probably three times over each, and i also highly recommend like i am home again, a college au set during a halloween party which made me stare at my phone refreshing ao3 hourly until it updated, and can this be a real thing (can it?) wherein mike and will reunite in a gay bar. enough said
landslide by chamb3rs — the party’s senior year of high school
i don’t often reach for chaptered fics since i usually have such limited reading time, but i’m sooo so so happy i stumbled across this one. there have just been very few fics that have touched me like this one did. i blew through this in one sitting a few weekends ago and subsequently experienced the full range of human emotions (and then some) all in the span of a few hours. everything about this was perfect — the will pov, the weird liminality of transitional periods, the party and byhop family dynamics, down to my favorite portrayal of theeeee jennifer hayes in any fic ever. on top of all of that, this fic perfectly captures the heartbreaking euphoria of being in love with your best friend, and all the ups and downs that come with it. i crawled out of the ao3 tab covered in blood and my chest was hurting and i was shaking and i had damn near chewed my own arm off — and then i sent the link to my friend 10 minutes later and watched her experience the same exact thing like a train wreck in slow-mo HAHAHA
what a time to be alive by passerine_in_jade (@newlesbianprideflag) — will disappears and haunts mike from the upside down
i’m forever a total sucker for a good haunting metaphor, so it’s absolutely not a surprise that this fic is appearing on this list. the premise for this was so so so cool and interesting, and it’s another chaptered fic i’m glad i had a little extra time to read. the way the author had me rooting for mike and will the whole time even though half of the pairing was offscreen for a large majority of the fic is a highly commendable feat. mike’s unyielding loyalty to will and will’s constant faith in him felt so true to their canon selves, and there were so many moments that were so quiet and intimate and tender that i really felt like i was intruding on something. good good stuff
that’s what you get for falling in love by harriet_vane — will gets his first boyfriend in college, and mike, ever the ally, has very normal feelings about it
i want to preface this by saying that this fic is rated m, mostly just for mentions/allusions to sex, and one largely non-explicit portion of a scene in the last chapter. if that’s not your cup of tea, it’s easy to tell when it’s coming up and to skip past it without detracting from the plot, but i think it would be a greater detriment to not rec this fic at all, because it has quickly made the list of my favorite byler fics of all time. something about this take on jealous mike especially resonated with me — his inner monologue is simultaneously hilarious and depressing, and his obliviousness regarding his feelings for will feels so true to life without being overdone or cartoonish. you can tell just how much they really care for each other, and the conflict in this actually made me start crying because it felt so visceral and so fundamentally them. you can tell this author really understands their characters, and the love put into this fic is soooo palpable. it’s the kind of fic where you want to bonk their heads together to knock some sense into them, but you are helpless to do anything but hold on as you’re swung along for the ride.
finally, i try not to just rec fics written by my friends, but my recent reading list would be incomplete without these two wonderful additions:
the way you love me by strangeswift (@strangeswift) — byler exes (absolutely heartwrenching edition)
i’ve been hearing abby talk about her ideas for this fic for the better part of a year as she worked on it, and she actually edited and posted the first two chapters while i was visiting her! and by god is this world a better place with her byler exes concept in it, because if you want angst, you’ll never have to look further than her ao3 page. something about the way she writes will in this fic just makes my heart shrivel up and die in my chest — his quiet resignation, the bitterness (always love a good bitter will byers moment) and the Longing that never quite went away. mike’s characterization is also top notch, and you can really feel the chemistry between them during every interaction. at the time of me posting this list, chapter 4 is not yet up, but trust me when i tell you guys it’s going to soooooo be worth it. :-)
the end is here by bookinit (@bookinit02) — a speculative byler-centric season 5
if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that haven’s canon rewrite series is hands-down my favorite series across any pairing and fandom. her creativity with her season 5 concepts never fails to astound me — from the scripts she’s been working on as an alternative to the episodes she rewrote for s1-4, to her ideas for possible plot lines, and just incredible writing all around. i’ve had the privilege of reading through her scripts before she posts them to her blog (definitely go check them out) but special privilege bias aside, it takes soooo much skill to create such a visually powerful story in a medium that allows for such little narration, and the corresponding chapters just totally pushes it over the edge. pre-s5 required reading for every byler, and 100000% my new canon if the show doesn’t pan out
this definitely is not an exhaustive list because i have a million and one fics on my to-read, and one day i will get around to reading them all, but i hope there is something on this list that strikes your fancy!!
#mutuals specifically there are so many fics i need to catch up on im sorry#once i’m done w school im coming for you all truly#anyways i hope there are some here you guys like! sorry it’s not the longest list and sorry i babbled#actually no i’m not#i have a lot of feelings abt fics i like.#these r all fics that likeeeeee. make me want to Write#which is the highest compliment i can personally bestow#byler#byler fic rec#suni reads
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☆ you sow; & thus you shall reap what you are owed
{☆} characters tsaritsa
{☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader
{☆} warnings blood, violence
{☆} word count 0.8k
You are dying.
Gold melts into the dirt, bleeds into the very earth that you'd molded by your own hands – a familiarity you do not understand the source of – you know it to be true, yet you do not remember it as Teyvat does. It weeps, in turn, for the way you bleed upon it, the way your lungs strain for breath.
It is fury and sorrow and fear and hatred so raw that your mind buckles.
You will die.
"A dying godling and its judge, it's jury – it's executioners," The voice is hollow and cold, sweeps across your broken body like the first chill of winter, "Archons who saw themselves Gods, now brought to heel by their own hubris."
A cold hand upon your cheek, the brush of a thumb across your lip, the gentle caress of cold across your skin. You know her – you don't remember, you shouldn't recognize her but you do – and she knows you. The cold beckons and you follow, let her kindness settle in the hollow space of your chest. You want to speak, to cry and scream and rage, let the world burn around you in a fit of flames so hot even she cannot contain it – but she silences you, quiets the anger seeping into your blood, quiets Teyvat itself.
"Do not speak, little godling. Guide my hand," She is cold; her hands are not gentle, yet it is bliss compared to the callous, cruel hands that have shattered you. She is cruel and cold and brutal but she is love in the way she kisses the crown of your head. She is love in the way she is the bulwark between you and the world that has scorned you – she is fury in the way she brings them to their knees. "And I shall enact judgement most divine."
They will pray for forgiveness, and they shall find themselves wanting.
"It wasn't our fault!" They cry, but you cannot recognize the voice – it breaks and cracks like glass. "They were too human. How were we meant to know? We– we thought they were.."
Silence.
You watch your judge – the executioner, the blade that shall carve their sins into the very marrow of Teyvat, stand above you like death. As cold as winter and just as brutal. Your temple has been painted in the gold of your divine blood, and she shall complete the masterpiece with their own. The Archons shall become the grandest art in the world – this temple the canvas, their blood the paint and their bodies the palette. The cold that cuts sinew cradles you – it sings to you, whispers sweetly in your ear and carves bone from body in the same breath. The cold presses it's lips to your wrist and it cradles a heart within it's palm – judges them and finds them guilty.
It is her spear that rests between their ribs, her sword that dissects and her dagger that carves – the cold devours.
In the breadth of this divine sanctuary, the Archons dwindle. They become the pieces of a divine work of art, they bleed and bend and break upon her hands. She shakes the heavens and carves mortality into the bones of the divine – your word is Law, and you weave their deaths into the roots of Teyvat itself.
They shall know of their grand folly in every moment henceforth and longer still and they shall weep.
And as the curtain falls, as the world crumbles beneath fist and blade, she cradles your face between hands too cold – as gentle as a shard of ice between your ribs, as brutal as the kiss of gentle snowfall. The world buckles at the loss of six, but she alone does not allow it to break – you will have to mend the wounds of the world when you are well, but today you weep and Teyvat weeps with you.
And alone, the cold remains.
Stone has eroded, the wind has ceased, the flames have been extinguished, the storm has been silenced, the forests have gone quiet and the seas go still.
But the cold remains, bathed in gold.
It wraps you in thick furs, cradles you against the winter storm that brews beneath a veneer of composure. It brings you home – lets the world settle into a stillness and silence that inspires only dread and still she presses a kiss to your brow.
It is cold, but there has never been something so warm.
Where hands have broken you, she drapes you in furs, wipes away the thick gold that clings to your skin. She pieces you back together where you have been shattered, reshapes you where you have been bent – makes of you something new. Not a god and not a mortal but something wedged between them.
But you are yourself.
And you are where you belong.
They shall put you back together and you shall know only the worship worthy of the divine. They shall carve this world into your image, tear out and burn away the rot that festers.
All you need to do is say the word and they shall be your tools to make this world your own.
One word and those who wronged you shall burn, too.
Just one word. That's all it takes, and they shall take away your pain.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#“eros you left for a month again” yeah.................#anyway. posts tsaritsa fic and leaves#i kept it kinda vague but the fatui are all on your side. whether or not your actually the creator or not though..#now thats up for debate.#did they tamper w teyvat to kill the archons? to break the world to be remade in whatever image they see fit?#using you as the means of their end?#maybe you are the creator and they just saw an opportunity. maybe they are just devoted to you.#i just think lowkey villain au but specifically imposter au where the only ones who side w u r the fatui like OUGH#i love the fatui. them being the only ones 2 side w u is so tasty#prime material for angst bc the self doubt if the only ppl who believe u r the “villains”#a lot of this is just like. tsaritsa posting again though#the tsaritsa who loves so deeply yet cannot love#contradictions all the way down#she loves you but she cannot love you.#she loves you but she will put a dagger between your ribs. she loves you but she is incapable of love#tsaritsa the woman that u r ough#harbingers and their complex relations 2 love my beloved#smth smth tsaritsa seeing an opportunity to install a puppet “creator” which creates a separate imposter!au when the actual creator pops in#did i write this just 2 write tsaritsa being vague and Weird and horrifying and a horror and a lover and just a woman and#yeah :]#please talk 2 me abt the tsaritsa pleas epleas pleas eplease please please please p[lease please pleas
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