someone got murdered at the park near my house the other day….. i get irritated when people talk shit about my town being so dangerous but people do be getting killed
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Somehow never caught this before, but does this imply Birdperson’s mom killed his dad and he remembers seeing it?
The fact this memory is somehow tied to Blood Ridge in his mind makes me wonder if that’s part of why he didn’t accept Rick’s advances— maybe even subconsciously. If that’s what this implies, no wonder he had commitment issues. Makes the shit with Tammy hit differently, too…
I know it’s a throw away moment, but I really hope we get a follow up on that… Regardless of what that memory is, it’s dark shit.
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I think this topic is underdiscussed in the trans community, so I'd like to talk about it.
It's okay for trans people to mourn that some of us don't have the option to have children the way we'd like to. It is okay if a trans woman mourns that she is unable to become pregnant, for example, and there is no reason to shame her for how she feels. Equally, I think it can be inappropriate to tell us that there are other options besides "traditional" means of conception, like adoption. We know that there are other options, and that isn't the point.
I go back and forth on if I even want to be a father, and in both mindsets, I mourn that I don't have all the options I want to have children. It sucks. It really, really sucks. And it's hard to accept that this isn't my fault or my body's fault. That's the hardest part for me. But whether or not it's hard to accept, it isn't my fault - it isn't your fault, either, if you feel the same ways I do. Our bodies and our selves aren't the problem. We are not broken because we don't have all the options we'd like.
No matter how you feel about this topic, just know... you aren't a problem or a burden. No matter what your journey looks like, happiness and fulfillment can be found, eventually.
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irt poverty/homelessness + alcohol use (esp with @butchfeygela‘s tags on my post)- people really underestimate the function that substance use/alcohol use can have for someone who is unhoused. being unhoused is boring, cold, painful, + lonely. substances can allow the 8 hours panhandling to get the $45 you need for a motel to fly by. alcohol reduces your perception of the cold + can knock you out whben you can’t sleep. substances can help you cope with the physical deterioration from malnutrition, constant stress, + sleeping outside. substances can provide social connection with others who you would otherwise not enjoy or help you cope with being alone.
not only that but- many unhoused people are stuck in a seemingly inescapable position. the pathway to financial stability or even housing is difficult or even impossible. in the wake of that hopelessness, the downsides of substance use start to seem insignificant. arrest? you’re getting arrested anyway for sleeping outside, peeing outside, standing in the wrong place, etc. physical danger? you’re already beat the fuck up, anyway, right? loss of relationships? you’ve lost most people already. inability to keep a job? nobody will hire you + you can’t stay employed, anyway, because you have no car + no shower.
perhaps for you or me, the cons of heroin use or binge drinking nightly greatly outweigh the pros. that isn’t the case for everyone. if we are really serious about ending overdose/addiction, we need to start looking at giving people lives worth recovering into instead of shaming them for their own hopelessness.
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Kabrin is like what if we survived the trauma together but I needed you more than you needed me and I’m angry and bitter and trying to keep it together but I’m FAILING and everyone can see I’m failing and that I’m a failure and what if you only keep me around out of pity, what if you only ever befriended me out of pity… except also I see you and your calm focus and your suave demeanor and I understand that you are just as messy inside as I am, and I wonder how many parts of yourself you have cut off just to keep everything small enough to fit inside of you.
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a cute detail in haruka's room
This turned into a half-ramble half-headcanon post so I apologize for how messy it is lol
While watching undercover for the first time I noticed that there seems to be a sketchbook in Haruka's room, in which a colorful tree is drawn
Haruka seems to be hyperempathetic, and usually hyperempathetic people are quite artistic in their worldview and their hobbies, so I have a headcanon that Haruka likes to draw and/or paint, as a hobby and coping mechanism, a little escapism (especially since Haruka's no.1 coping mechanism with traumatic/stressful events seems to be denial—I'm going to elaborate on that in a different post because I've thought about that very, VERY often, and it partially explains why he acted the way he did in T2, to me) (I'm projecting a little bit because I kin Haruka and I'm a (hobbyist) artist myself but teehee)
When he was asked about his hobbies in his T1 interrogation, he just said he liked to talk to the other prisoners, but I think that's because he's insecure about his art being bad or unconventional (it looks like he used crayons or simple markers for the tree drawing. And also, the leaves are all different colors... perhaps I'm overanalyzing a simple scene, but it seemed to me that it's kinda symbolizing how he views & interacts with the world differently because of his neurodivergence. Still, the drawing is quite pretty imo, and he used the colors very well, so even though it's a tree with unusual colors, it still looks beautiful; even though he's different, it doesn't mean he's inferior, and there's still beauty despite how much he struggles to fit in. You know?)
Also also the way a lot of frames in weakness have hyper-realistic, vibrant backgrounds, as well as the blood being colorful (though that appears elsewhere too, like in Muu's MV) it really convinced me that Haruka sees the world through the lens of an artist, a passionate person who feels things very intensely.
Since the prisoners can request anything, I like to think Haruka secretly requested a sketchbook and some crayons to continue his hobby (I'm not sure if he can do that since it's unclear how the prisoners request & receive stuff (I'm a relatively new Milgram fan so I might've forgotten/not have seen an explanation if there's any ueueu))
I like to think he keeps his sketchbook to himself at first, but slowly opens up to the other prisoners about his hobby. First Fuuta and Mu, then maybe Mikoto, then the others (and they're all very nice to him & praise his art!!! Especially Mikoto I think. he would be very excited to see all of Haruka's art!!! Supportive big brother figure) :3c
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When I find it hard to do certain things, I like to pretend I am a neanderthal living in a cave with my clan, and I must do The Thing in order to survive.
So, when I'm doing cardio at the gym, I'm actually chasing and tracking a mammoth, and when I need to cook, well, I'm not cooking on a stove top, I am hurdled over the first fire and watching the fat of our kill drip down onto the burning wood. And when I find it hard to crochet, I pretend that the first winter storm is coming and our clan needs me to make blankets to hurdle under and that I must contribute.
I hope whatever you do to do The Things will help. It is a uniquely personable trait to motivate yourself through pretend and stories. That's what makes this life interesting - that's what makes you feel larger than yourself 💛
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