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gartenofbanny · 9 months

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So I watched Helluva Boss S2E6 "Oops" and let me tell you, it's better than Unhappy Campers, but it's also pretty mediocre too. So let's start off with the things I did like

Pros

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus's relationship

Fizzarolli and Ozzie's relationship is pretty adorable to look at, unlike Stolas and Blitzo's. They actually bounce off each other pretty well and are actually cute. Dick jokes aside.

I also like how Fizzarolli is sort of an advisor to Asmodeus's business related things, telling him what he needs to do for the day, and I also like how he tries to hide how other demons are starting to question whether or not their relationship is entirely lustful or actually romantic.

Asmodeus is very protective of Fizzarolli and respects whatever decision he makes. This is what Stolitz wants to be lmao.

Anyway, that's really the only thing I liked about this episode, now onto what I don't like

Cons

The intelligence of the characters

Most of the characters shown on screen are just dumb for the sake of moving the plot along.

Fizzarolli says he won't raise attention but then decides to raise attention in the Greed Ring where there are theives, bank robbers, and mob bosses.

Asmodeus, despite being one of the Seven Princes of Hell doesn't want to read a fucking contract. I get that he's impatient, but he's one of the Seven Princes and he's had to sign a contract AT LEAST ONCE in his centuries of living.

Striker and Crimson are just..they get distracted in a song where Fizzarolli is intentionally distracting them. I know Crimson is dumb as hell, but Striker and the rest of Crimson's mob? How am I supposed to take these antagonists seriously when they're stupid as hell?

Stolas

Stolas really had no reason being here since why isn't he in the hospital recovering from his injuries? How fast can demons regenerate if it has only been a week since Western Energy? That just removes even more tension even more for when certain characters take injuries because they can just heal from them at most a week later.

Stolas serves ZERO purpose to the plot. He barely does anything throughout this episode. Instead, he just gets all giddy at the sight of a stack of papers. He also says "get fucked little one" and I'm over here like YOU DID NOTHING SHUT UP.

In my opinion, they should've just let Asmodeus answer the phone call alone and read through the contract off-screen. Or have Asmodeus kill the lawyer and search for Fizzarolli while wandering around the Greed Ring.

The entire lawyer scene was pointless anyway because Asmodeus killed the lawyer in the end.

The Backstory

The backstory between Fizzarolli and Blitzo was...eh. I didn't really feel anything while watching the backstory because it was pretty predictable. While I was surprised that Blitzo admits that it was his fault (because when's the last time Blitzo took accountability)

I just could not feel sad for the life of me. And then, when Blitzo tries explaining, he's just interrupted. I'll get to the tonal shift of this episode later, but Blitzo says, "You have no idea what I lost in that fire". So Blitzo's mom died, and I'm wondering was Blitzo even aware that Fizzarolli was alive or not?

Because in Fizzarolli's perspective, Blitzo did see him but just ignored him. Not to mention, Blitzo somehow didn't acknowledge the fire when he bumped into Wally Wackford.

I'm damn sure Wally Wackford was screaming. Even then, Blitzo should've heard the flames go off, Blitzo should've seen the light of the fire in his peripheral vision, but he doesn't acknowledge it.

Blitzo's mom

Yeah, I'm counting this as a con. I don't feel bad that Tilla died because WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. She's the same as Moxxie's mom but with a name.

Are the mothers of male characters just supposed to fucking die? At least we got to see Moxxie's mom on screen. We never even saw Tilla in the first place aside from some fucking portraits.

Is this supposed to make me feel bad for Blitzo because he caused the fire, and I'm pretty sure Fizzarolli also had a good relationship with her, yet we never see his reaction to the death of Tilla either. Just Blitzo's and, to an extent, Barbie Wire's. Speaking of

Barbie Wire

Yeah, Barbie Wire wasn't really mentioned at all throughout this entire episode, not even in the flashback.

In the storyboard she did appear, but in the final version she just doesn't make an appearance for some reason. Vivziepop does not give a shit about their female characters

Fizzarolli forgiving Blitzo

Fizzarolli forgave Blitzo way too quickly in this episode. It doesn't make any sense that Fizzarolli forgave Blitzo, but Barbie Wire doesn't. Even though Barbie Wire has still been in contact with Blitzo.

Turns out Fizzarolli and Blitzo's hatred for each other was just a huge misunderstanding. Someone or something has prevented them from coming into contact with one another. They both keep saying, "But they told me" or "I never told them that" and who the hell is "they"? Just leaving out information for no reason at all.

Fizzarolli says, "It's hard to forgive you. It's been 15 years," but then he proceeds to forgive Blitzo near the end of the episode.

That's not how forgiveness works. Forgiveness takes time to go into effect it doesn't just happen when you hear a sob story.

Personally, I wouldn't have mind if FizArolli forgave Blitzo but not in the same episode where they're the main focused of an episode for the first time.

Convenient shit

Stuff just happens because it happens in this episode. Blitzo is at Greed because he wants breakfast and just so happens to meet Fizzarolli despite the fact that Crimson is still around.

Striker and Crimson coincidentally meet and are conveniently near Fizzarolli and Blitzo, allowing the two to get kidnapped.

A goon conveniently has anger issues and kills a large amount of his own crew allowing Blitzo and Fizz to escape

Striker and Fizzarolli are conveniently behind fucking gasoline WHY IS THERE PERFECTLY GOOD GASOLINE IN A DUMP?!

Fizzarolli's arms conveniently malfunction, so he can't escape the flames, so Blitzo has to save him.

It's just convenient stuff just so the plot can move along.

Tone issues

Can't be a Helluva Boss episode without tone issues. I don't feel like listing the examples because there are A LOT, but one major example I will put is Crimson blackmailing Asmodeus and at the end of it, one of his goons don't know how to hang up a phone or to stop a video.

This series can not have a serious scene if it saved its life.

Conclusion

I would comment on how Striker is just mischaracterized again through Blitzo calling him a supremacist or how the antagonists overall in this episode are dumb as hell. Or how this episode raises even more questions

But I believe those two deserve blogs by themselves. Anyway, thank you all for reading, and I hope you all have a nice day! ❤️

And I give this episode a 3.1/10

#helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva critical #vivienne medrano #hazbin hotel

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animeyanderelover · 1 month

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How about for seven deadly sin Ten Commandment meliodas with royal vampire s/o in a arrange marriage.

TC meliodas with a elite fairy warrior s/o who decided to leave with him to the underworld,rather then meliodas abandoning the demon clan.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, threats

To the depths of hell I shall follow you

🐲It is a forbidden love story during a war where your clan and his clan are on different sides, forcing both of you to face each other on the unforgiving battle field. On the battle field you two are strangers yet neither one of you can suppress the constant glances thrown at each other whilst you clash with enemies. Meliodas knows of your strength as you are hailed as one of the best warriors in your clan yet that doesn't stop his dark eyes from wandering around the place to look after you. The Demon Prince normally makes sure that he fights somewhere where he can look after you just in case. Despite knowing that he shouldn't let others know of his attachment to you, he is too protective at times even despite having experienced your strength personally. So it happens at times that when he notices that multiple enemies try to jump you that he interferes somehow and you have definitely experienced him throwing an ememy your way to knock out those who tried to attack you.

🐲His feelings for his own kind are restricted as he will harm other demons if they manage to lay a hand on you in the wrong way. He gets away with it most of the time as he tells you when both of you meet secretly as he takes out much more enemies than he harms his own kind. It is a twisted logic that he and his clan seem to have but as long as neither of you get caught, you are willing to ignore it. As the war continues, you two have less and less time to meet each other as both sides are gearing up for the final attack to win this war. You silently agonise over the distance between you two each and every day as you long to see and touch your lover again yet those prayers from your heart are left unanswered. Yet you know that you shouldn't dream about such things as you know that your clan would never allow you to be together with him and you fear the same for his clan. Sometimes you lament about this tragic fate that won't allow you to be together with the person you love most.

🐲The limited and precious time that you do manage to have with Meliodas you use to its fullest and so does he. You tell him all about your feelings and your longing whilst you are held in his arms, already wondering when both of you will be able to spend time together like this. That is when Meliodas suggests for the first time that you could leave your clan and come with him. Even he has felt the full effects of the inability to see you for such long periods of time and it has only agitated him more and more as visible by his vicious way of fighting on the battle field. The punishment of your own kind would not reach you if you were to stay with him and both of you could finally be together all of the time. You voice your concern and doubt about the Demon King accepting you and allowing your relationship to continue but Meliodas reassures you with a determined and dark look on his face that he will find a way to have his father agree with it.

🐲You beg for some time to consider it and whilst it doesn't please Meliodas, he gives you time until the both of you will meet again. You spend sleepless nights considering his suggestion and thinking about the pros and cons. The Demon King is a scary man and if Meliodas were to leave his clan for you, you know that his father would seek out revenge and punishment. The same wouldn't necessarily count for you because whilst you would be expelled from your own clan and made an enemy, the revenge would probably never be as fatal nor as cruel as the one his father would cast on him. Would the Demon King ever accept you though or would he punish both of you for your love affair with each other? You ponder about it for days and nights without a break, guilt weighting you down when you think about leaving the clan that you grew up in and that raised you yet you also feel pain when thinking about potentially not seeing Meliodas ever again.

🐲You notice how his eyes look at you when both of you are on the battleground and you always have to look the other way as the decision you were given is a difficult one. You know that your hesitance, perhaps even reluctance, to make up your mind is something that even stresses him out as he feels a growing unease and anger with your inability to choose. Meliodas wants you to choose him because he would do the same for you. Why can't you pick him as easily as he would pick you? Does he mean less to you than you mean to him? His heart is simultanously dreading yet also anticipating the night where both of you have agreed to reunite again as it is the night he has given you to make your decision at last. Meliodas arrives perhaps a bit earlier as the tension has gotten to him also, every second where he can't sense you too long in his mind. Eventually you finally appear though, hints of conflict and doubt written on your face.

🐲You choose him. It is partially a relief for him that those words leave your lips as soon as you see him hastily approaching you with a barely concealed look of agitation and impatience on his face. Yet you are still doubting your decision as he can see, you still feel a lingering sense of attachment and affection. Something he wouldn't have felt and even if he knows that the Fairy Clan is different than the Demon Clan, he still feels a sense of disappointment for your lingering feelings. Ultimately you have chosen him though and that is all that matters as of now. There is no turning back for you now anyways as you have betrayed your own clan and whilst it is wrong to feel that way, it gives Meliodas reassurance that you won't be able to leave his side and return to your clan even if you would want to. He knows that you will face distrust in his clan though, some might think that you are a spy who seduced him. That is why you aren't really allowed to walk around with him by your side as he will mercilessly rip everyone apart who dares to accuse you.

#yandere nanatsu no tazai #yandere nnt #yandere seven deadly sins #yandere sds #yandere meliodas

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zeldahime · 3 months

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Highway to Pail Day 13

[Day 1] [Prev] [Next] @do-it-with-style-events

February 13: How do you turn a demon into an angel? Scare the hell out of them.

If you asked if Crowley feared Hell, he'd figure you were an evangelical Christian and give you the fright of your life by saying something like "Hell? Hell is empty. All the devils are here," then turning his head into a snake. Yes, Crowley knew that line was from one of Boring Bill's plays and not even a funny one, but he'd told Aziraphale he'd fed Bill that line in a bar in 1610 and had stuck to that story ever since. (Aziraphale knew better, because dear old William had tested that line on him in 1607, but he also thought Crowley was ever so charming when he was lying and so had never called him on it.)

If Aziraphale had asked him, Crowley would tell him he really wasn't that scared of Hell, honestly. Not to say he enjoyed the place, but you knew what to expect from them, knew where you stood. He knew how they monitored him and that they didn't usually bother with it; he knew more or less what punishments which Dukes and Princes liked to inflict on their underlings and how best to avoid them. He'd tell Aziraphale, honestly he'd been more scared in Heaven towards the end there, watching his friends Fall and suddenly knowing Her love was conditional, and he'd know Aziraphale would understand the depth of that fear because Aziraphale had watched him Fall. It would be meant as a reassurance. Aziraphale, who had been fearful in Heaven long before the Fall and the War and to whom the Fall was actually a perverse relief—so he hadn't been worried about nothing, so his anxiety was rational—would not be reassured.

Crowley would be lying, but don't hold it against him: he wouldn't realize it, which is the scariest part.

In reality, he was terrified of Hell.

He'd been scared of Hell for so long it formed the foundation for most of his actions and thoughts, and much like you don't ever think about what kind of foundation your house is built on, Crowley just didn't think about it very much. For example: he kept an insurance policy because Hell was dog-eat-dog, or demon-eat-demon, and anyone who caught him with Aziraphale would come after them like that Frou-Frou guy had and he needed a way to defend himself. Clear, logical, no emotions involved in this reasoning really as far as he was concerned. He did not follow this train of motivations any further. If he'd gotten off just one stop further down the line, he'd have noticed that the reason he needed a way to defend himself was because punishment is unpleasant and he didn't want to deal with that, and another stop might have suggested, so, one of your motivations here, if you'd please let me finish speaking sir, might be fear of punishment?

Crowley rarely took trains of thought all the way to the end of the line, and so very rarely did he ever actually think about being scared. He sometimes considered how much things would hurt if he got caught, weighed it in a pros and cons list, but never connected that thought to fear of getting caught.

The lead-up to the Apocalypse was different. Things he didn't even know he could be scared of kept popping up, like a really unpleasant random jack-in-the-box. He was scared when Warlock was little and threw a fit, certain he'd say something like "I hate you Nanny! I wish you'd never existed!" and he'd be wiped from reality. He was scared when he was waiting for a hellhound at a birthday party and scared when it no-showed.

He was scared when he saw the bookshop on fire, no Aziraphale in sight. He had never even thought of the possibility of the bookshop catching on fire, not really. It'd been a joke, calling the place a fire hazard or a death trap to rile Aziraphale up a bit when he was tipsy. He'd known down to his bones that Aziraphale would never let his books burn.

It wasn't until the night after the first day of the rest of their lives that Crowley realized just how scared he was, and as soon as he realized he'd had that thought, he'd buried it as deeply as he could.

Because that night, he'd dreamed of Heaven for the first time.

Maybe it was because of the switcheroo they'd pulled, going up to Heaven in Aziraphale's corporation. Maybe it triggered some memories, or something. Heaven yesterday hadn't been anything like Heaven had been Before. Before, it had been full of warmth, and other angels, and the Light of God, not a cold empty office space ripped directly from a skyscraper in New Jersey. He'd spent most of his time in the firmament back then, but he'd thought of Heaven as home, a safe place to come back to, where he could talk to his pals and play games and rest. It had already begun shifting away from that long before the Fall, of course, but it had gotten so much worse since.

On the very first night of the rest of his life, Crowley's dream was his earliest memory. God had called his Name, the one he'd have ripped away from him when he Fell, and he had sprung into existence with Love in his heart. Another angel had called to him and told him about stars and nebulae and the Grand Design and Crowley had Loved them, in awe of these things they described. It was so simple. He dreamed of other times in the Before, conversations with other angels about what if we did it this way, or changed that. A conversation where he wondered why the stars would be so far away from the humans, why they would be extinguished so soon when they could burn for billions upon billions of years. He remembered curiosity, friendship, play, all free and unfiltered and simple.

He remembered the first time he felt fear, when Lucifer said that other angels disagreed with them and there was going to be a fight, and explained what a fight was.

And then he woke up, and he realized he was deeply afraid, and had been for most of his existence. This was very unpleasant, and changed absolutely nothing except making him skittish at exactly the time he could most benefit from the habitual recklessness he'd begun to nourish over the last few centuries.

It didn't even change what he'd tell Aziraphale if Aziraphale had asked the question, as described above, because whether or not he was telling the truth was pretty much unimportant, he'd think; the important part would be reassuring Aziraphale, since the angel was much more emotionally fragile that he was.

Aziraphale had known all along, of course, which is why he'd never asked. Some things were best left unaddressed, in his opinion. Crowley seemed to have it well in hand, dealing with his eternal fear in a healthier way than Aziraphale's own anxious paranoia, so often overcoming it to be braver than Aziraphale could ever be.

They were, of course, both totally wrong.

#my writing #do it with style events #highway to pail #crowley good omens #character study #i'm not sure what i think of this tbh #concrit welcome on this one #with the understanding these are just exercises where i am typing directly into the post box and publishing with zero edits

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beezonia · 4 months

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Okaaaaay my brain has been fixating on these three eah background characters

I wanted to share my thoughts

——

So you have skater dude or as I’ve started to call him Nolan

Son of the Iron stove prince, destined to be cursed and trapped into an iron stove. But he’s supposed to fall in love with the maiden who comes to save him

Doesn’t happen, he’s in love with someone else Nolan is kinda conflicted with his destiny because of this and because of the fact he doesn’t want to be cursed in the first place

He’s a rebel

Next we have the golden haired girl or as I’ve been calling her Mila

Daughter of the Millers daughter from the tale rumplesiltskin

She’s destined to nearly give her first born daughter away unless she finds out rumplestiltskins name due to her basically being in debt to him after he spun gold for her to impress the king

She’s also not in love with her destined partner but does want to keep her happily ever after so she’s confused as hell on what to do

Dating Nolan (date night episode solidified this)

Their both weighing the pros and cons of trying to merge their destinies.

They figure out if Mila basically tries to disguise the Miller’s daughter who tries too bring back Nolan’s love interest , they can fall in love and everything will be okay

Mila is a rebel but still hangs around with some royals

Finally we have the red head who I’ve been calling Vivica she’s the daughter of the physician from the tale Godfather Death

Her destiny is to outwit death once due to a king being ill, then a few months later the princess of the same kingdom get’s ill

She then is supposed to fall in love with said princess and save her like she did with her father and cheat death again

Death then shows her the candle and basically kills her at the end

Viv is a rebel, she was also conceived a few months before her father died, she never new him due to their shared destiny

It was a very private affair, death found out about her when she was just a small child and hangs around Viv sometimes

Doesn’t want to die, just wants to be allowed to live and help others when she can so she’s one of the first to agree with Raven on legacy day

And that’s pretty much it!! Hope you’ve enjoyed!

#ever after high #eah #eah oc #kinda #background characters #skater boy #golden haired girl #red and purple haired girl #ever after high headcanons

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mauesartetc · 1 year

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Thoughts on Helluva Boss Episode 202 (”Seeing Stars”)

Hooray, we’re back on this bullshit!

Yeah, I’ve been avoiding this one for some time, and it honestly wasn’t as bad as I’d been led to believe. There’s still some pretty terrible shit in it, but we’ll get to that later.

Pros:

- There were a couple jokes I got a chuckle out of, namely Loona seeing Octavia sneak into Blitzo’s office without saying anything, and Moxxie fumbling the quarter while revealing his grand scheme to get more.

- The misunderstanding between Octavia and the grimoire was kinda clever. She said, “Take me to see the stars” without specifying a location, so the book took her to the place most famous for “stars”, just not the kind she was looking for. Fun bit of irony that Hollywood has so many figurative stars, yet there’s too much smog and light pollution to see the literal ones.

- The montage of Loona looking for Octavia was cool, and the soundtrack matched it well.

- We finally see some variety in the hellhound breeds. I especially liked the design and unexpected personality of the pit bull lady.

- The scene between Loona and Octavia is pretty good. It’s well-paced, well-voiced, well-animated, and well-scored. I liked how the lighter tied into what Loona was saying. But something in the episode’s ending makes this scene’s sentiment ring kinda hollow, and we’ll get to that later.

Cons after the cut:

Cons:

- Stolas can open portals to the human world without his grimoire, so why the hell does he even need it? He explains that his powers are limited in the human world without it, but how often does he even visit the human world?! We’ve only seen him use the book to create a window to the harvest moon; it’s not like he ever has to go through it except in rare emergencies like this. So the “limited powers” thing feels more like a mild inconvenience than a serious drawback.

For that matter, why does Blitzo need the grimoire? We learned from the runes in the previous episode that Asmodean crystals open portals to Earth, and that succubi and incubi have them in their possession. So why the fuck couldn’t Blitzo steal a crystal from Verosika or some other lust demon, rather than a well-guarded prince? Just seems like there are other ways for him to get to the surface, so he doesn’t have much incentive to fetch the grimoire in this episode.

- “Oh. This doesn’t look much different from Hell.” Pointing out your lazy worldbuilding doesn’t make it better, show.

- Another Moxxie fat joke, yaaaay. I’ve gone into some detail before regarding the issues at play here, so I won’t repeat too much. It’s just shallow and mean-spirited. It wasn’t funny in the pilot, it’s not funny here, and I feel bad for everyone involved in bringing it to the screen. Moving on.

- Moxxie and Millie don’t do anything that affects the plot. They might as well not be here at all. With the way Moxxie insulted Loona at the beginning (”Can’t you do anything right?”), it would’ve made more sense for him to stay at the office and take over Loona’s reception duties while she sniffed out Octavia in the human world. Maybe he’d be a bit cocky about it, assuming he’d do a much better job than she would, only to find out how mean the callers can be. When the others return from LA, they could find him sobbing in a corner on the phone with a potential client. Loona could explain they respond better when they sense the person on the other end has a spine, then take over with her usual brusque attitude, and satisfy the caller. Grateful, Moxxie could hug her and apologize for what he said before, to which Loona could respond with, “Ehh, it’s okay. As long as you do my laundry for the next month” or something to that effect.

This also would’ve been a great opportunity to see Millie in action without Moxxie by her side (and not trying to reunite with him). What kinds of strategies would she use to find Octavia? How would she blend in with the humans (that isn’t some plot contrivance of everyone just assuming her imp form is a costume)? Maybe her theories could be logical and her plans competent, but a bit too old-fashioned to work for tracking a modern teen. That’s where Loona’s social media sleuthing would come in. Even if Millie fails, though, this would be a chance for her to shine as an individual rather than half of a couple.

Or the two of them just go on vacation this episode. Either/or.

- Continuing with M&M, god damn their relationship is getting annoyingly saccharine. It was fine in “Ozzie’s” since they were the underdogs, and the culture of their environment didn’t approve of romance. They found themselves in a situation where they had to stand up for their right to express love however they wanted. The lovey-dovey shit was warranted and even brave in that scenario. But here it just feels like a flimsy excuse to shoehorn a song into the episode.

- There’s not one, but two side characters with gold teeth in this episode. On any other show, this wouldn’t be so bad, but here it smacks of lazy character design. To recap, we’ve also had Striker and the dad from “Murder Family” in this category, and apparently there’s at least one character with a gold tooth in the next episode. Joy. C’mon, Viv. Mix it up a little.

- If Blitzo could break the glass of the van doors, why couldn’t he and Stolas just escape? Sure, there were some jagged edges around the opening, but what’s stopping them from clearing those out, too? It’d make more sense if Blitzo were forced to yell to Loona (or just call her on the phone, maybe?) as the van sped away. It’s much harder to jump through a window from a moving vehicle than from a stationary one. (Also, the van doors have handles on the inside... Wouldn’t they be able to open them? Or do they only unlock from the outside? Van drivers, feel free to sound off.)

- Continuing this lack of logic, what’s stopping these two from leaving the studio? This would’ve been easily fixed simply by showing security guards blocking the doors, but we get nothing. And for that matter, where’s the real Brennon Ragers? Stuck in traffic? (That could actually be a decent cutaway gag to explain why he can’t get to the studio, as well as a nod to LA’s infamous gridlock.)

- More sexual harassment from Stolas, yaaaaay. Looks like he’s learned absolutely nothing from when Blitzo rightfully told him off about that. And look!

Blitzo actually smiles when he does it this time, completely retconning the way he felt in their last conversation. Oh... what a present. You’d think things would at least be a little awkward between these two after their last meeting, but who cares about continuity when the imp fetishist is talkin’ sexy, amirite? Fuck you, show.

- Oh yeah, can’t forget this absolute gem of a line: “Now hurry up and wow them so we can get back to finding Via.”

Priorities, right?!

Again, we have no indication they can’t just leave, so why does Stolas insist on staying here, especially when his daughter, like he himself pointed out earlier, “could be in danger”? And as we see later in the episode, this sitcom shoot drags on for hours, to the point where the sun has set. Yet Stolas sees no problem in just... hanging around? Seriously, is he so fucking attached to Blitzo that he can’t just escape and search for the daughter he claims to love on his own??

And circling back to the “limited powers” thing, Stolas appeared before humans in his full demonic might in “Truth Seekers”, and he didn’t need the grimoire to do that. So why the hell can’t he do it now? Why can’t he scare everyone off the set? Does the book need to be in his immediate vicinity for it to have any effect in the human world? Never explained.

- The cutesy little girl in the sitcom is an obvious Darla Dimple ripoff.

Old habits die hard, don’t they.

Darla herself was a spin on Shirley Temple, which worked a lot better since her design was based on a real person, and both she and Temple worked in film as children, not TV. If you really want to satirize sitcom kids, look at actors who worked in sitcoms. I would’ve gone with the Olsen twins, personally (though it’d be wise to cut the drug reference in this scenario).

- Kinda small compared to the other stuff, but it still bothers me: In the flashback, Blitz backs away from the hellhound he calls an “ugly wonker”, put off by his appearance, saying he’s looking for something more “family friendly”. Wha-? An ugly dog can’t be family friendly? Do looks somehow dictate personality now? Does Blitzo mean a dog with that kind of face would scare children? Because accepting such an animal into one’s family could be an amazing way to teach kids empathy and compassion, and make them unafraid of those who look different. It would’ve been so easy to alter those lines so Blitzo doesn’t sound like such a dick (or at least get some pushback for being a dick, like the dog growling, “I still got ears, pal” and shaking a fist at him), but the fact that he placed so much emphasis on judging a book by its cover just left a bad taste in my mouth.

- I’m not sure what Blitzo was even supposed to learn from his flashback. “If someone had a rough childhood, don’t discipline them”? “Be a doormat for employees who can’t handle mild criticism”? “Emotionally smothering your adopted child was actually good and you should go back to that”?

I mean, he and Loona still live together. It’s not like firing her would be the end of their relationship, as the narrative implies. Sometimes people just aren’t cut out for certain jobs, and that’s fine. Besides, Loona’s a grown fucking adult, so what’s stopping her from moving out or finding a new job? I guess her violent streak and piss-poor attitude would prevent her from getting hired anywhere else, but seeing as this is Hell, we don’t actually know that. Some occupations might see those as positive qualities. If the show took the time to convey that this job was her final lifeline (maybe through a montage of her interviewing for every other job in the underworld and being kicked out of all of them), Blitzo’s hesitance to fire her, and his subsequent overprotective rampage, would make a lot more sense.

- Jesus, you just had to get that horny fanservice moment in, didn’t you? Yeah, we get it. Stolas sees Blitzo as the most fuckable creature in the universe for some godforsaken reason. And that’s literally all the substance this relationship has. Can we move on?

- So let’s talk about the ending. Like I mentioned before, the observatory scene was pretty good. It might have been stronger if Octavia actually saw her dad looking for her rather than just take Loona’s word for it (she’s an owl demon, so maybe she has incredible long-distance vision. If she looked down at the streets rather than up at the sky, she might see how panicked Stolas is).

But here’s the thing: Loona says, “Try to cut your dad some slack. He may not always get it right, but... he’s trying.” And because she doesn’t know where Stolas has been for the past several hours (again, with nothing preventing him from escaping), it’s understandable that she’s unaware of just how little he has been trying. So she thinks she’s telling Octavia the whole truth, when the audience knows that’s not the case.

Now a disconnect like this could lead to some intriguing dramatic irony in which Octavia thinks Stolas has been looking for her the entire day when he mostly just sat around watching his fuckbuddy do bad improv. Once again, Stolas has prioritized his side piece over his family. Once again, he’s shown that “Ozzie’s” taught him nothing.

But now that he has her back, he can’t tell her the truth out of fear she’ll run away again. This, with better writing, would give us a more ambiguous ending rather than the hunky-dory one we got, neatly wrapped up in a bow. And this might hint at possible consequences for Stolas down the road, when his lie may be revealed. Knowing how biased these writers are toward Stolas, though, I won’t hold my breath for anything of the sort.

On the whole, not the best episode, but not nearly the worst. Better than the transparent, fanfic-y shipper-pandering of the previous one, that’s for sure. I’ll stop this nonsense if the show becomes completely unwatchable. It’s not there for me yet. Will the next episode be a further improvement, or will it be the final straw? Tune in to find out!

#helluva boss #helluva critical #writing #critique #criticism #long post

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siriannatan · 1 year

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FanFic Master Post

I never thought I'd do this but here we are with a list of all my Empires and Hermitcraft fics.

Hopefully, I didn't break any of the links... and remember to update this.

Wet Blazes Are Hard to Impress impulseTango Rated T

It's Just My Nature, I Ruin Love impulseTango Rated E

iSecurity | Spicy Chicken by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker impulseTango Rated M

Opposites Attract GrianXisuma Rated T

Hermit Valley - dropped multiship – MumboScar & RenDoc focus Rated M

Scar's very much not good day... | Spicy Chicken au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker ScarCub Rated E

Soul Searching | Spicy Chicken au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker RenDoc Rated M

Shadows of the past ScarCub Rated E

5 times Scar cuddled Cub and one where Cub cuddled Scar ScarCub Rated T

The Return of the Vex ScarCub Rated E

An Odd Request ScarCub Rated E

How to Un-Upset a Slime HypnoJevin Rated E

Supressed Memory JimmyTango Rated T

Random short ficlets – there's 1 bit here... | Spicy Chicken au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker impulseTango Rated T

Pros of Being Soulbound JoelEtho Rated E

Jinn Problems – the OG version, rewritten JimmyPix ScottSausage Rated E

Xisuma's Law Office | Mafia au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker GrianXisuma Rated M

How to Calm a Demon impulseZedTango Rated M

Tango's Jinn Dilemma | Spicy Chicken au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker impulseTango Rated M

How not to Fly... GrianXisuma Rated M

My Roommate is a Vampire | Spicy Chicken au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker ScottSausage Rated E

Nighmares Confusion and Confessions fWhipPix Rated T

How to Deal with a Thief ScarCub RenDog Rated E

Scott(y) Defenitelly Knows ScottSausage ScottPix ScottJimmy ScottfWhip Rated E

Art Differences GrianXisuma Rated M

Cub to the Rescue | Spicy Chicken au by @Mojo-Chojo & @opalwhisker ScarCub Rated M

Castle Full of Vampires KeralisBDouble0100 MumboIskall EthoBeef ScarCub GrianXisuma RenDoc Rated M

Why hug a toy when you can have the real thing? ScottJimmy Rated E

Dragon fWhip Kidnaps Prince Scott ScottfWhip Rated T

Apologies and Sleepovers ScottJimmy Rated T

Servers Apart impulseSV/Kris | ZedaphPlays/TangoTek/Jimmy | Solidarity Rated E

Alternative Ways of Relaxing EthoBeef Rated E

How to Handle Being Ignored impulseTango Rated T

The Sheriff is Quite Vexing... ScottJimmy Rated M

Cross-Empires Pub Crawl JimmylSausageScottPix Rated M

Aftercare and Cuddles HypnoJevinXB Rated M

Tango's Guide to Killing Love impulseTango Rated E

Keep You Safe ScottSausage Rated T

Dragon's Court CW:Non-Con ScottfWhip Rated E

Pix needs more love or 5 times Pix was shocked people flirted with him PixScott fWhipPix PixSausage PixJimmy PixJoel PixSausage Rated T

Stars and Feathers ScottSausage Rated M

Sunny Garden – Hiatus fWhipJimmyScottSausagePix Rated M

My First Kinktober - 2022 A whole bunch of ships with their own warnings – stay vigilant Rated E

Fireside Memoirs kind of JimmyTango and JimmyScott Rated T

Meant to Be Yours JimmyfWhip Rated E

Winter's Canary Hells To Pay AU by @aquaquadrant and @lunarcrown ScottJimmy Rated M

The Turbulences of Being a Ruler ScottfWhip Rated M

Skeletons in Our Closet CW: blood and torture and wounds talk, no smut ScottfWhipJimmy Rated E

A random thing ScottfWhipJimmy Rated T

Unwelcome Visitor ScottJoey Rated M

Empires Modern Fantasy – on break ScottfWhipJimmy Rated M

Jinn & Other Troubles – the rewrite fWhipJimmyPix ScottSausage Rated M

Heroes of Empires City ScottJimmyfWhip Rated M

Arranged Rearrangements ScottfWhip Rated M

Just Friends fWhipSausage Rated T

Sirianna's Vacation Prompt's Spot – oneshots series based on prompts multiple ships Rated M

Empires & Hermitcraft One-Shots – where I put my oneshots... multipleships Rated M

Broken Hearts and Broken Minds Content Warning: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm Implied/Referenced Self-Harm Medical Inaccuracies ScottJimmyfWhip Rated M

You set sail alone… ScottJimmyfWhip Rated M

Combat Maids ScottJimmyfWhipPixSausageMartyn Rated M - possible violence

Demon AU - Electric Boogaloo Multiship Rated E - smut

#my stories #my stuff #fanfic #fanfiction #empires smp #empiresshipping #hermitcraft #hermitshipping #witchcraft smp #traffic smp #traffic shipping

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the-writers-corner-inc · 2 months

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Troubleshooting Tuesday!

I'm here with questions and answers for you. Questions that might lead to solving plotholes, or just help you make your character 3D.

Today's troubleshooting for you!

Do you get confused about whether your WIP should have multiple POVs, or just one first-person view maybe you should go on a completely different path and do the third person??

Here is a little something that might help you. (Spoiler for Silent Patient)

Decide whether you want the readers to feel your characters' emotions. One of the main reasons why authors choose the first person is that they want readers to feel the emotions that the character is feeling. Eg Cruel Prince

But then some say it might become monotonous and boring so you go with multiple pov's, this includes first person pov's of many different characters. But then again if there are pros there are cons too. Multiple POVs mean that it might get crowded and difficult to understand, as you might have heard, books have finite pages and unless you want a book that looks like your English dictionary you're gonna have to sacrifice the amount of time the reader gets to have with your characters. Eg Six of Crows

Or if you wanna risk it all and go with the well-walked path of third-person POV then that has its advantages too. First and foremost and it might just be my opinion, most of the time it rules out the possibility of an unreliable narrator. Books like Silent Patient are the best example to explain what I mean. You get a broader perspective on what exactly is happening in a scene, for example, your characters are in a shopping mall - in first person you usually have a specific thing your character is focusing on and unless they are Sherlock Holmes or Byomkesh Bakshi it would be quite uncanny writing about the clerk cleaning the shelves and the workers gossiping about their latest boss, and might unnecessarily lengthen your book without giving it any real content, whereas in TPP you can easily slide this in.

On the other hand, there are some problems you may face, which make it difficult for readers to understand what is actually going on in a character's head, or what their opinions are on certain topics. Of course, these aren't the only problems and not the only pros, but they give an insight into the facts.

Now I know I may not be the first person to cover this topic, in fact, I don't even think I come in the top 100 people but as someone who struggles quite a bit becuase of this, I tried to make it as comprehensive and compact as I could. It might not look so, but trust me I've seen so many of these and they are NOT short, I tried to condense it as much as I could and added in some points that I think others might relate to and find help from. Let me know if is missed something and if I should add more to it, writers know the best for writers and no one else. (I of course didn't add the elephant that is "second person" even I am scared and confused as to what the hell it even means so if someone knows kindly help a youngster out)

Lastly, @1indigoisles , apology accepted and arse laughed off. Although whatever is said is absolutely true, from "what Troubleshooting Tuesday means" to "this grp is my baby" you're paying child support and there is nothing you can do about it.

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #Troubleshooting tuesday #hope ya'll like this #TT

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vole-mon-amour · 1 year

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2x03, part 1.

Oh wow. OH WOW???? I'M— That's is soooo uncharacteristic for Kaz. And for once, it fits.

She's the only one who can beat his ass and stay untouchable. Get his ass!!

Damn it. I think they nailed it. Even the memory of that in the book gets me all riled up. I'm so mad at Rollins and what he did to those kids. I'd say "Damn it, Jordie", but really, it wasn't his fault. They were just orphans against the entire world, and Jordie wanted the best for him and Kaz. He could he could trust this man. The question of rolling robbing them and leaving them to die, though? How can somebody to that is another topic.

And that's why I disliked you even in the books. :) Funny, though, and very convenient to turn back into the prince when the situation needs that. "My Tsarevich."

For once, I agree with Alina. Show him who's the boss.

I have an ao3 tab open since 2x01. And I am definitely reading that after finishing the season. :) This is a good moment.

Honestly, the way they mixed up the books and something that didn't exist in it.

Wait, WHAT??????? Somebody explain pls. Surely they're not hinting at Jesper and Wylan having sex before????? Surely it's something else???

Jesper is precious.

A Merchant's son. The one whose father hired people to kill him. My good, their stories! The book is sucking me back in.

Yeah, Jesper, you're a goner. :') Just like you were with Kaz. I'm still convinced that if Kaz was more... available, maybe? Then something would have happened. Bc there's no wonder in my mind that Jesper has a crush on Kaz in the books.

I mean, technically, she may be right. But she constantly demands of him. I mean, yeah, she's loyal, but so are other crows? And they don't ask anything in return because they know who they are dealing with and what comes with it, pros AND cons? Sorry if I stick with Jesper that will follow Kaz to Hell and accept that maybe not blindly, but quietly. He'll be ok with Kaz scolding him or whatever. Doesn't mean it should be that way forever, but Jesper knows what comes with it. He trusts him. He loves him. So why's Inej special, huh? The fact that she pushes Kaz into telling her = pushes him away. Let him have this at his own pace. "Oooh, I don't care about your trauma, oooh, tell me immediately." Piss off. Perfect couple, my ass.

Like here. Jesper ACCEPTS it. Jesper will follow him. Kaz means so much to him. He doesn't entirely understand Kaz, but he TRUSTS him & waits for him when Kaz needs him to.

And before anyone says anything, K*nej is my absolute notp. Choose the reason that suits you, but I will never ship Kaz and Inej. Kaz can stay with Jesper and Inej can stay with Nina.

Gorgeous. Stunning. Breathtaking.

No fucking way? Wait, did Kaz tell her in the books? I believe he didn't, and definitely not at that moment? HELLLOOOOOO??? I'm not really sure. A re-read is a must now.

That is a beautiful gesture. *sigh* His hands are shaking, and yet.

It was Kaz's trauma that pulled him back from Inej in the books. Not Nina. I don't need this implication that they would've kissed if it wasn't for Nina. Yeah, I'm having a hard time watching those scenes, just like I knew I would.

Now THIS I ship. "She missed Nina." Girlfriends. <3

He. Him.

A badass!!

Not Genya :( Get fucked, Sasha. Get fucked.

Are they... holding hands? I'm so confused about how they portray Wesper. It's out of nowhere!! C'mon, they hold hands the entire time & I'm so disappointed??? Jesper doesn't know him at all. He calls him a stranger. It's so logical in CK, what happens here????

Kaz прикладывается к бутылке? Like, yeah, he drinks when he stressed out, but to carry a drink with himself, everywhere? Is this the Kaz we know?

#natiswatching #kaz brekker #sabn #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #anti kanej #wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #nina zenik #ninej

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who-canceled-roger-rabbit · 1 year

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Some cultural elements I might add to a future Narnia adaptation:

Not sure what culture to base Archenland on but maybe cast them as people of color?

For that matter, cast actors of color as some of the indigenous Narnian characters, especially the more human-looking ones like nymphs and such.

Cast Pasifika actors as the Telmarines, since Lewis described them as descendants of pirates in the South Seas who married locals and found their way into Narnia. Perhaps clarify in this adaptation that the marriages were willing (which doesn't seem to have been the case in the novel), for example by changing the pirates to less violent sailors and establishing that this happened before Europe (and the US, and Japan) colonized the Pacific.

Calormen. Hoo boy. If I had to touch this, first I'd base them on, like, ancient Mesopotamia more than the Arabian Nights. Second I'd actually, you know, flesh out their culture and depict both Calormene and Narnian society with pros and cons, instead of the angle of "Narnia's proper medievalesque Christian values are better in every way than Calormen's Oriental Despotism™" that the books took.

Related to the above, possibly depict The Horse and His Boy and The Last Battle as in-universe anti-Calormene propaganda (not just to avoid the racism, but because The Last Battle is kind of a downer). Hell, I even remember The Silver Chair mentioning The Horse and His Boy as a story told at the giants' castle—over a thousand years after the events of THaHB, so some details may have changed in the retelling even if it was based on real events. Maybe Rabadash did invade Archenland, but the actual casus belli wasn't "swarthy foreign prince lusts after white woman," but (in keeping with the Mesopotamian angle I mentioned) "Archenland cancels shipment of subpar copper." Also Aravis and Lasaraleen were totally an item.

For that matter, diversify the human visitors from Britain? This could help avoid the colonial vibe that people have pointed out regarding the kids waltzing into Narnia and ruling the place, a vibe that could become especially pronounced if both the indigenous population and the Telmarines are cast as people of color. I personally like the idea of the Pevensies as Romani or Irish Travellers (Paveensies?), Digory Kirke as Anglo-Indian (hell his dad is mentioned to be in India for work, so maybe that's where they're originally from), and Jill Pole as Afro-Caribbean.

Feel free to expand on this and add your own two cents, especially since I'm white myself and I could very easily be getting something wrong.

#narnia #the chronicles of narnia #c.s. lewis #c. s. lewis #cs lewis #c s lewis #culture #race #racism #colonialism #orientalism

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bitofanattitudeproblemherondale · 1 year

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James’ POV under Belial’s Spell

prompt credits - @cherrybomb618

Fiery Embers

Darkness, the kind of darkness that ripples in waves. It was all around him, no, that’s not what it was, James realized with a start. He was Darkness. His body was still his but at the same time it wasn’t. He could only watch as Belial raised hell on his hometown. He couldn’t even think straight, everything was a blur. Mundanes running around, he thought of all the shadowhunters that escaped. They failed, he thought. They failed their entire belief system by escaping a burning city without thinking of anyone else.

The shock that rippled through his body was huge when he realized what Belial was trying to do. He just caught the words “I, for instance, wish to be crowned the king of London by Simon de Langham here.” James felt the dead archbishop shudder. The prince of hell had the power to make even the ghosts shiver and crumble away.

Just then he heard a voice and everything stopped. The screaming faded into a distance, the voice rose above Belial’s evil laugh.

“I’m here, because I believe in James.” She was saying.

Daisy.

Without a warning, his heart skipped a beat. He could sense Belial’s confusion. He could feel the fear, the fear of failure stumble upon his own face.

Know that I have faith in you. Know that I love you. And nothing Belial can do can change that.

James felt his mind freeze, his brain was replaying memories, he could feel her burning red hair flying as Cordelia fought by his side slicing demons left and right. Cordelia singing him to sleep, Cordelia reading him her favourite passage from Layla and Majnun. Cordelia moving against him in the whispering room, her eyes shining brightly as called her Daisy. Cordelia hugging Tessa, and lastly him moving inside her as she moaned his name and pulled him closer and just like that the spell broke, it shattered down just like the bracelet had.

I love you. He thought. I have loved you since the time i saw your eyes shine in the distance. I have loved you desperately and hopelessly and I will continue to do so until the sun burns down and the stars in the night sky go out.

James knew what he had to do.

“Give me Cortona.” he said with confidence.

He could see her debating, he could see her calculating the pros and cons, but in the end he knew his Daisy and he knew she trusted him, but most of all, he knew she believed in him.

She flung Cortona at him and he shot his hand out to grasp it out of the air by its hilt. He could see the engravings —I am Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal.

He looked directly into the depth of Cordelia’s eyes and said “I sought not fire, yet my heart is all flame. Layla, this love is not of earth”

James plunged the sword into his own heart.

#shadowhunters #cassandraclare #the last hours #chain of gold #james herondale #the infernal devices #will herondale #shadowhuntersedit #clockwork angel #james x cordelia

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airasora · 1 year

Note

Hey Aira, I think your fanfic sounds super interesting and despite preferring Aladdin with Jasmine or, in non canon ships, Jas as a wlw, I really do think some aspects of their relationship have valid criticisms, I do have to point out that 'street rat' was an insult directed at Aladdin's societal class, not his personality. Basically that being born poor makes him worthless. It is still used like that. So I thought I'd give you a heads up because 'the cons of a street rat vs the pros of a prince' sounds incredibly classist. Obviously I know this is by accident just like the whole thing with the g-slur and I'd never think that but I thought I'd give you a heads up before some hater decides to grab onto this. Some other word like thief or conman would convey what you're trying to say (plus 'the cons of a conman' is a cool pun lol).

Tl;dr street rat is a classist insult and if it makes me uncomfortable to read when I know you I can't imagine what the haters would do with it :(

You're absolutely right, it does sound classist as all hell and I apologize for that. I only used it because it's a term Aladdin is already associated with (like Esmeralda is with the G word) and I didn't consider thinking of something else as I tend to just like to stick with what the movie already says with stuff like this.

In the fanfic, I will however still use this term, but it'll be made clear in the fanfic that it's not to be classist, but because growing up living like Aladdin did does affect your personality. The environment we grow up in shapes us, so him having to lie and steal most of his life to survive will be pointed out as one of the main reasons why Aladdin automatically lies as a survival strategy.

However, your suggestion fits much better for the initial "tease" post so I've changed it to conman. One of my bigger criticisms of Aladdin is indeed how often he lies, so having it be conman instead makes perfect sense. Thank you!

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jadedfvll · 2 years

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for @cha3yul

it’s been a long while since xuanyu has seen prince chaeyul.

maybe...give or take six or seven years? the number blended together in a manner that he no longer cared to count, the little memories of a much more innocent, younger self with the sang family siblings and their cousins blurring into nothingness in favour of being the current person he is now--with that cool, calculated outlook that he had in life, strengthened by the experiences he had under his father’s tutelage.

or maybe, non-tutelage.

he barely remembered admiral zhao being much of a parental figure in his life after all.

xuanyu mused to himself, brows knitted slightly as he pondered over what to say exactly to the prince’s face, now that he had caught him at the most inopportune moment, swords in hand and a nonchalant expression set across his face. the swords lift for a moment as he adjusts his weight, the slight cant of his head as he contemplated the pros and cons between explaining what it meant for him to be carrying around his sword on the night that it was declared house sang had escaped with the traitorous youngest prince.

drastic or not, some things had to be done. even if it was not the best option.

a slight tick of annoyance clicks sharply from between his teeth, the very thought of what he would need to do later drawing his ire as his thoughts shifted towards minister sang, and the word from his confidants that his father had seemed a little more than just suspicious with his movements.

gathering their forces? whispers for their men to secretly bring their arms? what the hell were they even thinking? it didn’t take much to guess exactly what they were aiming to do, even without an explicit order from the house that they had sworn fealty to. he would have liked to take things a little slower, perhaps even plan out a perfect plan that would make even the smartest of them all proud...but there was just not enough time.

war was brewing in the horizon. he could feel that much, having lived on the edge of his sword for most of his life. bloodshed would happen, whether he liked it or not, and he was not about to let himself or anyone related to him to be caught up in the game of thrones on the wrong side of the board with the wrong play.

and so he decides to pretend. both for his sake, and for the prince standing on the bridge before him, eyes flickering and hands kept behind his back, a slight nod of his head to his subordinates that brush past him without ever looking back.

he tilts his head slightly, calm and composed, yet with the slightest mask of confusion obscuring his gently smiling face.

“how may i help you, prince chaeyul?” the words linger in the night air, frozen with apathy, as though the person being confronted was not him in person, nor in name.

#-- 🅼🆄🆂🅴 🅵🅸🅻🅴🆂 -- threads #-- 🅼🆄🆂🅴 🅵🅸🅻🅴🆂 -- chaeyul #-- 🅼🆄🆂🅴 🅵🅸🅻🅴🆂 -- backdated

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nerdlifecentralsblog · 1 year

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Unknown Secrets [2] - repost

Summary: The reader offers to offer to help the Winchesters and British Men of Letters with hopefully tracking down Asmodeus and his child.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Rowena, Castiel, Gabriel, Asmodeus, Ketch, Mick, reader, supernatural creatures.

Pairing: N/A, everyone is platonic

Genre: angst, little fluff

Word Count: 3,006

Warnings (whole series): language, show-level violence, show-level gore, death, kidnapping, panic attack description.

A/N: Welp it’s my first fic and I’m already posting later than I meant, super sorry for that but thank you all for your support and I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Any questions, suggestions, or anything at all lemme know.

"Alright so, is there a way to track down the demon kid specifically?" Dean thinks aloud.

"We just found out that this thing exists, Dean. I doubt there's another spell or book we can use." Cas says with an exasperated sigh.

"Great! That's just peachy. So what do we do now?" Dean throws his head back and his arms up.

"We should split up and try to find out which city Asmodeus is in, and which city this "Prince of Hell" is in." Sam says with air quotes.

"No, Sammy - that's not a good ide-"

"It's the only route that makes sense.” Cas interrupts Dean.

"Are you kidding me, Cas?" Dean explodes, " 'only route that makes sense' my ass. We are not splitting up like freakin' Scooby Doo!"

"Dean, it's the only way we can quickly pinpoint which demon is in each city and then plan a course of action from there." Sam tries to intervene between the two and convince Dean, but he seemingly isn't willing to budge. The brothers stare at each other weighing the pros versus cons and the risks involved until Dean caves with a grunt and wave of his hand.

"Alright fine, whatever. How are we gonna do this?"

"Well, I was thinking we call up Ketch and Mick to check out New Mexico with Cas while we search around in Iowa." Sam explains, "That way, we'll be covering both cities in good time and have some backup for when we do find Asmodeus and his kid." Sam offers.

"And this day just gets even better...." Dean grumbles, "I mean really Sam? Are we really asking the Brits for help again?" Sam and Cas both grumble about Dean's comment as a brief silence falls over the men.

“If it’s any consolation, there is a case in Iowa. Kill two crows with one rock.” Cas says, turning to Dean with a hopeful smile. Dean rolls his eyes and Sam chuckles under his breath.

“I’ll call Mick and you two get the car packed up.” Sam says walking towards his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell? We’ve searched this whole warehouse with not a single vamp! You sure this is the place Sammy?” Dean grumbles in anger.

“You snooze, you lose.” Ketch laughs as he and Mick enter the room with bloodied machetes.

“Again, what the hell?” Dean reiterates.

“How could we miss out on all the fun?” Ketch says while vaguely gesturing with his machete around the room.

“Yeah well it ain’t much fun without any fancy toys.” Dean grumbles prompting Mick to step in explaining “We decided to have a go at this a bit more old school” he says while showing off his machete.

“Let’s just head back to the motel and try to figure out where this thing is and how to kill it.” Sam says as he and Dean begin to walk through the warehouse towards the Impala with Mick and Ketch following behind.

“Why stop the fun now?” Ketch says, making Sam and Dean stop in their tracks to turn and face the Brits again.

“Sorry Ketch but we’ve still got a massive case here like apocalypse level case, no more fun until this is sorted out.” Dean says and turns swiftly on his heel towards Baby.

Ketch opens his mouth to probably add some snarky comment when Mick puts a hand on his shoulder and explains “I believe what he was trying to say,” Ketch sighs annoyed and shrugs Mick’s hand off. “Is that there is a local bar nearby that is exclusive to Hunters; Ketch gets his “fun” and we have the opportunity to find out some possible leads and information in tracking, capturing, and killing a hybrid of this kind.” Dean angrily sheathes his machete and looks to Sam who also sheathes his machete and agrees to meet them at the bar in half an hour.

Sam and Dean get into Baby and pull away from the now abandoned warehouse, loud rock music plays as they start the drive to their motel room.

Dean turns slightly in his seat to Sam and asks “Did you know about this?”

Sam stares at Dean for a moment before responding with “Did I know about what? That Mick and Ketch would deal with the vamp nest before we were even parked? Or that they stuck two random hunters that we’ve never met in New Mexico with Cas?” Dean sends a quick eyebrow raise and tilts his head to the side as if Sam just proved him right. Sam huffs and says “If that’s what you’re asking then no, why would I want Cas stuck with two know-nothing agents when we can handle this on our own?”

“Relax, Sammy. I was just asking, no harm or blow to the ego intended alright?” Dean glances to Sam who sighs and looks away toward his window. They fall silent and the tension is cut when Sam’s phone starts ringing. He pulls it out of his jean pocket to see that Cas is calling him. Sam answers the phone and puts it on speaker.

“Hey, Cas. How’s that little town looking?”

“Hello, Sam.” Cas replies sounding frustrated. “Going well except Mick and Ketch never even showed up and have apparently sent two other British Men of Letters to assist me in their place.” Sam rolls his eyes and drops his head slightly as Dean explains what happened.

“Yeah they showed up at that nest we were gonna take out and there wasn’t a hint of a fight there.”

“Hello, Dean. As far as I can tell Asmodeus or his offspring are no longer here.” Sam and Dean share a look and share a moment of silence.

“Well, are you sure Cas?” Sam questions.

Cas huffs an annoyed sigh “Yes, Sam I am very sure. We have checked every spot we could and I’m not feeling any dark energy or use of power on that level. The agents, well more Thomas than Angelica think that we should do a quick sweep of neighboring towns to be sure.”

Dean nods and quickly explains that the brothers along with Mick and Ketch are checking out a local Hunter’s bar to get some leads and information on either Asmodeus or the possibility of a nephidemon.

“Alright, well call if you hear anything and I will do the same.” Cas replies.

“You got it.” Dean affirms, “and come over to Motel 36 or y/n's bar, The Fallen when you’re done to see if you feel any power or whatever.”

“Of course, Dean. I will call once I’m headed there.”

“Thanks, Cas, talk soon.” Sam says as he ends the call and Dean pulls into the parking space near their room.

The brothers enter a bar filled with other Hunters and make their way to the bar top where Ketch and Mick are seated.

“Ah look who decided to show rather than sit in some motel room and root around pointlessly on the internet!” Ketch exclaims patting the seat next to him which Dean takes as Sam sits next to him.

Dean turns to Ketch and asks “We got a game plan yet?”.

“Lucky for you, we happen to be very good friends with the lovely y/n. She’s the young woman who owns this bar, if anyone has information about rare supernatural creatures or strange things happening in town, she’s your girl.” Mick explains as they survey the bar for anything interesting.

~~~~POV switch~~~~

I let the rock music fill my ears as I get lost in making various drinks, the bar is completely full and buzzing with energy. So many of them going on hunts, coming back from them, or somewhere in between. All very normal conversations to hear and be a part of, although one thing I was not expecting for tonight would be Mick and Ketch to come into my bar and tell me they’re gonna be joined by the Winchester brothers.

I mean, the Winchesters meeting up with two of the most well-known British Men of Letters? Let’s just say I laughed and bet that if they do show, they’re drinks are all on me.

Turns out, about thirty minutes later in walks who I assume to be Sam and Dean who make their way through the crowd and next to the Brits. Who both send a pointed look my way and Ketch his signature wink which only earns him an eyeroll.

“There goes all my alcohol and profit for the night.” I think annoyed at myself. Although they don’t look it, those charming agents can hold their liquor. And from what I’ve heard about Sam and Dean, so can they.

“You two must be the Winchesters.” I said, walking over to the group. The two Hunters both share a look while Ketch tries to disguise a laugh with a cough, while who I assume to be Sam responds unsure,

“Uh yeah, that’s us. But how do you know that? I don’t recognize you from anywhere and we’ve never been in Dubuque before.”

I chuckle and say “No we’ve never met, but working in a place like this you hear a story or two. Along with some tales from these two charming Men of Letters that is.” I add with a dramatic bow directed to Ketch and Mick.

“Don’t patronize yourself, y/n. As I remember you were absolutely enthralled when you met us.” Ketch says leaning on the bar top slightly with a playful smirk.

“You must have had a large impact since I can hardly remember it.” I wink playfully at Mick making him blush slightly. “Anyways, what can I do for you boys?”

I look expectantly at the four Hunters in front of me as they all share a quick look. Sam begins by saying “Well, we’ve been trying to find out where the Prince of Hell, Asmodeus is and found something weird.” He pauses to glance up at me and I respond with “okay I already have questions, how did you even find Asmodeus? I heard he was hanging out in either Syria or Hell.” I asked, leaning on the bar top slightly.

Sam huffs a laugh and explains “a good friend of ours crafted a potential tracking spell and-” I hold my hand up and interject, “Let me guess, a lovely red-headed witch by the name of Rowena?” I smile as Dean sits straighter and looks taken aback for a moment.

He points at me and leans forward a little while questioning, “you know her?”.

I laugh and cross my arms, “Not many get the chance to know her - to really know her. But I can say I am one of the lucky ones.”

“Small world huh?” Sam says with a small smile. I shrug and give him a small nod for him to continue. “Anyway, we tried the spell and it kinda worked but we don’t know what to do now and we heard you might be able to help us.”

“I’ve always wanted to work with a Winchester, or Castiel even; plus it’d be pretty nice to get back in the saddle again for an interesting hunt.” I think as Sam gives a look that can only be described as puppy dog eyes and Dean slightly looks up from the drink held loosely in his hands with a trace of hope in his eyes. “Okay, but what do you mean it “kinda worked” exactly?” I say with a wave of my hand to accentuate the point.

“As in it tracked to two different cities in the US, which isn’t possible as far as we know.” Mick says after taking a drink of his beer. I slightly turn towards him and tilt my head trying to figure out how that’s even possible; that is, assuming the spell worked one-hundred percent.

“You ever hear or know of anything like that ever happening?” Ketch prompts, leaning forward on the counter a bit. I lean back against the mostly empty wall behind me save for some paintings and shelves with various liquor and beer bottles on them. I rest my hand against the side of my face and try to think about what I might know for their situation.

“They always get the weird and hard cases don’t they? I mean, the only thing that could appear to be spreading or sharing it’s power could be a new nephilim, but that’s half-angel, half-human. But Asmodeus is a demon so maybe it’s a demon version of a nephilim?” I push back off the counter and explain, “There’s no evidence or lore of it but it could be a demon version of a nephilim?”

I cross my arms as Dean says, “That’s all we got too.”

“Well, if you guys don’t mind sticking around till closing I can ask around and let you know what I can dig up?” Before anyone could even think about my offer, Ketch throws his arms up dramatically and almost shouts,

“We don’t mind at all! Take all the time you need darling. ”

I smile and respond “Thank you, I’ll get back to y’all in a few hours.” I nod to them and walk away when Mick calls out,

“And don’t forget about the drinks you owe us!” I turn back around and playfully shake my head at him as he smiles broadly.

“I’m in for a long run with ‘em. Who woulda thought I would be working closely with two British Men of Letters and the Winchesters…”

~~~~later~~~~

I finished cleaning up the bar and walked out locking the door behind me. I turn around and see Sam and Dean leaning against their beautiful Impala with the Brits standing across from them talking casually. Their heads slowly turn towards me as I approach putting on my leather jacket and slinging my faded green backpack over one shoulder.

“Everyone here that I talked with has no idea how to help you guys, most haven’t even heard of Princes of Hell or Asmodeus; let alone if one of ‘em has had a child with a human or that if it’s possible.” the boys deflate “But I don’t see that it’s all that impossible. I mean, if angels can do it why couldn’t a demon?” I say with a smile and one hand resting on my hip.

Dean crosses his arms and gives me a noncommittal shrug and says, “yeah hopefully you’re right. Doubt the spell would only work half-way too, we all know Rowena. No way one of her spells would be jacked up or something.” I nod and grab the other strap for my backpack and put it all the way on while saying,

“Well, by any means, I want to help.” Mick turns to me with crossed arms and asks with concern laced in his voice, “you’re sure?” I raise my eyebrows at him and wait a moment before stating confidently “Very. I can help you with research related stuff, and I get to get my hands dirty again and glean some info about Princes of Hell and possibly a…” I glance upwards trying to think of a way to easily describe a demon and human’s spawn.

Dean pushes off of his car and says “Nephidemon.”

I smile at him and respond “Nephidemon, like the term.” He leans back against Baby and turns to Sam with a smug grin which only earns him a snort and a small shove from his brother. I continue with, “I’m all in. And if you need any more reason, you have the most knowledgeable person when it comes to this town and the surrounding areas. Especially when it comes to things that go bump in the night.” I look to Ketch who only shrugs and points his head toward Sam and Dean. I glance towards them who both look unconvinced. I let out a long sigh and cast my gaze more to their boots and add, “plus, I do kinda owe you guys for taking out that huge vamp nest about 10 miles west.”

Sam furrows his brows in confusion, before he could say anything though Ketch interrupts “Yes she knew about the nest before and no we didn’t tell her we were going to or that we had taken care of it.”

“Not that you would have needed to,” I say while crossing my arms. Drawing an even more confused look from Sam and an over it look on Dean’s face. “I’ve got to keep an eye on my town, my Hunters; gotta take care of the folks who can’t really take that good care of themselves. Whether it be Hunters seemingly with a death wish or innocent people ‘round here.” I respond gesturing first to my bar then to the surrounding, now closed, businesses. Sam and Dean both take a moment to mull it over.

Then Dean shrugs and looks to Sam who turns to me and says "Alright, we could certainly use all the help we could get."

"We're staying at the hotel across from the 7-11 a couple miles down the road. Let's all meet there at 9." Dean suggests looking to all of us. We all nod in agreement and start to go our separate ways when an old truck pulls up next to the Impala, and a guy in a trenchcoat steps out.

"Hey Cas. Finished up in Las Vegas?" Sam says to this man who is apparently the Winchesters well known angel companion.

The angel drops his shoulders slightly and sighs, responding "Well it was the deadest dead end we could have possibly looked into. Figure I would be of more use here."

Dean smiles and says "Glad to have you here, feathers." Walking to the car and patting Cas’s back.

"I hate to break up this reunion, " I interject " but I've gotta get home, see you all tomorrow. " I wave to all of them and walk back to my car, get in, and drive away while subconsciously watching the five infamous heroes slowly fade from my rearview mirror. Wondering what tomorrow could possibly bring.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural fanfiction #mick davies #arthur ketch #reader insert #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #i still have no idea what i'm doing

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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years

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IAD Hero Power Rankings: Lucky 13

I am getting down to the final like....3.5...? Books? And Dark Skye was the Virgin AngelDemon God Warrior hero, who I thought I would not like, but honestly, he was pretty delightful. If Thronos had gotten a handjob earlier in life, countless lives would've been spared.

Lothaire Daciano, the Enemy of Old, vampire, Lothaire

Pros:

–well you can’t say he isn’t goal-oriented

–takes kids trick or treating

–does not support rape or child murder; and he actually likes dogs a lot!

–“ELIZABETH. WITH MY COMPLIMENTS. YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR CLAWS INTO ANOTHER ONE OF MINE. ROT IN HELL. L.” he says as he tries to make a point when sending her his Heart in a Box ™, failing to make that point because it’s clear that he’s just sitting in his murder castle listening to teardrops on my guitar on repeat

–listen between the tittyfucking and the “let me drink my heroine’s virgin’s blood after I very literally pop her cherry” moment, you can’t call him boring

–actually hilarious, basically just a very scary vampire with a to-do list punting decapitated heads around like they’re soccer balls

–just did some shifter beheadings!!! it not like he goes around cockslapping gnomes!!!!

–loves a couch sex moment

Cons:

–does support murdering everyone else if need be, casting out innocent souls to achieve his aims, unleashing untold evil, trench coats, biting unwilling people and being like “look if it gets weird go with it”

–clinically insane

–will forget someone he was talking to like half an hour ago because he’s lost all concept of time and space, will talk to himself during sex to be like “DON’T KILL HER @ me!!!”

–Ellie spends like 30% of this book covered in his semen, to the point that she literally just goes to sleep in it in order to piss the demon inhabiting her body off

–I thought he couldn’t sleep because of his madness but when you get to his POV he’s like “MY DICK IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO SLEEP”

–watches everyone have sex, which, considering this series, is a lot of people. I don’t even think it’s sexual it’s just his shit

–his only friend is a teenage quarterback, but then again, that QB is Thad and Thad is God

–put the Valkyrie queen underwater to drown eternally and forgot where she was lmao (this came out before The Old Guard…..)

–was into “juvenile skullfucking”

--Update: responded to an official royal missive from the vrekener king with a MESSAGE IN BLOOD that was like "oh shit y'all exist?--L"... too Goth to rule....

2. Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros:

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she’s not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he’s tearing that shit up every night even if there’s no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

–“lass, I’m about to make you a widow” …. this shit works every time

–even a GOD can’t make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–is honestly big stupid about a lot of things… plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was “I’ll just fuck her until she passes out and then I’ll go do big mission for her”, admirable but not flaw-free logic

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

3. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

4. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

5. Uilleam “Will” MacRieve, “MacRieve”, werewolf, MacRieve

Pros:

–literally called “bucket list” among immortal women because he’s the one you have to fuck in case you might die someday

–incredibly family-oriented and so HYPE to put a baby in there, which could be horrible but with the werewolves it’s always hot

–has the sweetest relationship with his twin ever like please Munro and MacRieve always having each other’s backs and knowing what the other is feeling and being devoted to each other stop

–incredibly dangerous hot hot hot but so gentle with Chloe in those first chapters, literally just left a bag over her head so that she couldn’t see him in beast mode and get scared

–listen… he’s got Issues, but he does the fucking work in the end and ows them and in myyyy opinion the Issues are pretty fucking valid

–LEASHES THE BEAST FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRR I WEEEEEPT

–the mouth on this dude (in all ways)

Cons:

–is maybe the most traumatized hero I’ve read in these books, which is saying something, and that means that he reacts PRETTY FUCKING BADLY to the Chloe reveal and does treat her badly before it gets better

–has like very little control over his beast for most of this book so he’s just like werewolfin’ out all over the place while Munro goes “I don’t even know why I bother”

–that time he threw up after taking Chloe’s virginity (not his fault but YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES MCGIIIIIKES)

–is called bucket list because he only knows how to fuck and can’t have emotional sex or even sex like a person he only knows how to have beast sex which to be fair sounds like fun sex but is not necessarily like… romantic and shit

–it’s implied that he does the battle shit for running the MacRieve settlement and Munro is the one who actually reads the legal shit, which like I’m glad that works and all but it seems pretty irresponsible lmao

–there is no living villain in this book, the villain is MacRieve’s trauma, which is very good and deep but also TOUGH BRO

6. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

7. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

8. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

9. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

10. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

11. Thronos Talos, vrekener (cough demon with wings cough), Dark Skye

Pros:

--virgin hero!!!

--surprisingly kinda naturally kinky (not surprising, it's always the God warriors)

--gets hilariously flustered constantly throughout this novel

--was the sweetest little baby boy when he and Lanthe were kids he just wanted to bring her food (dead rabbits) and hold her in his baby wings

--secretly swears a lot for a heavenly angel

--is just trying his best to run a kingdom and getting responses back from Lothaire like "wow your species exists??? wild bro" and "I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR BODY AND LAUGH IN YOUR FACE" from Rydstrom so honestly? snaps for Thronos

Cons:

--was a bit heavy on the slutshaming what with his God warrior origin story

--is cursed with secondary bonerism what with his wings being.... very sensitive.... tertiary bonerism as he also has the demon horns?

--was going through a demon identity crisis throughout this book which I personally found hilarious but it was rough for him

--insisted on losing his virginity through that Mormon sheet thing

12. Trehan Daciano/Prince of Shadows, vampire, Shadow’s Claim

Pros:

–has MAGICAL INVISIBLE-MAKING MIST

–beats the shit out of everyone in this book, basically…. hot

–is apparently a really good uncle when he’s not trying to kill his relatives

–was actually extremely romantic with Bettina and liked her dumb little weapons designs. Would see her be like “I think I should make a poisoned bracelet” and go “fucking genius”

–goes from being super rational to FULL ON FUCKING INSANE and that’s hot

–says at one point that he’ll figure out what to do with their various relationship issues once he’s inside her, which I certainly was not mad at

–that time he told Bettina to refrain from touching herself until he could do it for her, we love to see it

Cons:

–was the second!!! person in this series to take Lothaire’s romantic advice, which was admittedly correct but suggests his own lack of judgment

–sat in his library and sadly masturbated for weeks (while Lothaire watched)

–watched Bettina sleeping, which I wasn’t personally upset with, but I guess that’s inappropriate

–that time they were like “your challenge is to give the princess what she’d want most” and he gave her a bag of heads and went “…. fuck” when everyone in the room didn’t get it

–held back on biting Bettina for forever, which was dumb and unhorny of him

13. Declan Chase/Aidan the Fierce/Gabriel/Edward/whoever the fuck else he was, berserker, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

Pros:

–I mean you can’t really go wrong with someone who is so determined to have his heroine that he just defies death and keeps coming back throughout the ages

–probably the only employee at Torture Island to get in trouble for workplace sexual harassment…. impressive

–that time he cried after suffocating Regin (it must be truuuuue love truuuuuue love)

–that bathtub scene where he was like “wait no actually I’m taking over this weird sexual interplay thing we have going on”

–his days-long island hike grovel where he was like just sadly walking around and being like *eye emoji* at Regin…. hilarious

Cons:

–I actually totally got why Regin forgave him (true love + dick too bomb) but personally I feel like it’s basically impossible that Lachlain and Rydstrom and Sabine are gonna let the shit he pulled slide forever so suspension of disbelief was rough there

–he did vivisect a MacRieve, and I am nothing if not a MacRieve Stan For Lyfe

–the drug addiction issues are rough

–that time he had to let Lothaire bite his neck whenever he wanted and Lothaire was like “if I call you a girl’s name just go with it” and it DIDN’T turn into sex? Sads

14. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

–we love a virgin hero always

–gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

–very good at giving sensual baths

–a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

–made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all “YOU WANNA GO BRO???” in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

–honestly a very sweet guy

–swallows toothpaste TWICE

–comes against Carrow’s leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

–TOO BIG, WON’T FIT (pro)

–could’ve been meaner, I’m not gonna lie

15. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

#romance novel blogging #immortals after dark #but legit i really enjoyed dark skye a lot it was great #even tho my personal favorite part was rydstrom going all THE ONLY FLAG I'LL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD--#now on to sweet ruin~~~#the one where he's poison to everyone but her

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