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upsidedownmvnson · 22 days

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crash landed

A/N: i want to branch out on this blog and write for other fandoms too, so im dipping my toes in my baby poe dameron's pool

summary: you and poe are stranded on an unknown planet after a dicy shootout. and your injuries are getting worse by the minute.

warnings: probably inaccurate star wars stuff, graphic descriptions of injuries (maybe), broken bones,

"poe?" you whispered, shaky voice barely cutting through the loud wind noises rattling the loose metal of a broken starfighter.

he grunts, barely looking away from the twisted metal he's trying to bend back in shape with pure will. it's been hours, and with no working comms, and no working beacon.. it was time to start considering alternate escape routes.

"ugh - if it would just-" he grunts again, pounding his fist once against it, the sound lost beneath the other crashing titanium pieces.

"poe..." you said, again, holding onto your shoulder. it was starting to really hurt, and you could barely move your arm, you were sure it was broken, and with the adrenaline of a crash landing fading, it was really starting to be a problem.

he looked at you, lips tight and tense, none of the usual spark in his eyes. his mouth softens into a light frown when he sees you cradling your injury.

"if we don't leave soon i dont know how far i'll be able to go," you say, raising your voice to be heard over the weather.

"we don't even know where we are!" he shouts back, frustrated and angry.

"i know but..."

"how am i supposed to get you out of this!?"

but he softens even more when your lip quivers, and he knows he's being cold - but look at what he's done. he's hurt you. he's gotten you lost on some outskirt planet with no way out, and no medical supplies. he's just proven about himself what he always feared might be true ... he can't protect you.

"I'm sorry!" he shouts, he looks around, and harshly scratches his thumb on his temple. "you're right! we have to move."

"take the comlink! i'll try to fix it when we get ..." you squint, "somewhere."

he grabs it, although he doesn't believe you can fix it. it doesn't even look like scrap metal anymore. totally crushed during the crash landing. if he had just jumped instead of trying to outmaneuver, this wouldn't have happened. he could have gotten you to safety but he was so sure that they wouldn't see his flip coming, but they did... and managed to target the gun you'd been using at the back of the ship, causing a small explosion and sending you against the side of the ship and then when you weren't answering he...

he lost all control and crashed the ship. he was the best pilot the resistance had, and he crashed with the most precious thing in his life depending on him. he was a failure.

when he climbs back down from the trashed fighter, he puts his hand on the small of your back and guides you forward. you were disappointed when he let you go. usually, he'd find any excuse to keep his hands on you, but now he dropped his touch as soon as you'd started walking with him.

you walked quietly, holding the ripped fabric on the shoulder of your suit closed with your good arm and kept the other as snug to your chest as you could. you felt like you were trying to hold yourself together.

you knew this was your fault. if you had just made the shot... you guys wouldn't be in this mess. and the man you were in love with - and arguably the most important pilot in the resistance - wouldn't be stranded in this nowhere place. and you wouldn't be a limping burden. you try your best to hide it. to walk normally and disguise your wincing.

"i'm sorry," you say finally, unable to stand one more moment of uncomfortable silence. you'd never struggled to talk to poe before, normally you can't get him to shut up. "I should've been able to hit the fuel tank, i knew where it was and i missed the-"

"this wasn't your fault," he cut you off, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "none of this is your fault, it's mine."

you could barely hear him, and you were about you respond when both of you were taken by complete surprise as you yelped, your ankle giving way under you with a sickening crunch. poe heard it over the wind, and caught you before you could completely hit the ground.

you cried, trying to say something about the pain but all that came out were a few strangled syllables.

"hey, hey, hey, it's okay! i've got you!" but he's panicking. he can't support you with your arm in that condition, and he can't get you up because of the leg. he's sick. he can't breathe thinking of what's he caused. he picks you up, cradling you as close to his chest as he can as he frantically looks around for anything, anything.

a cave in the face of a rockside is all he can see, and he escapes to it's safety, at least able to get you out of the wind for a minute while he thinks. he sets you down as gently as he can, his heart shattering with each deep sob you release.

he looks around, as if help will just appear in the cave. and he stands up, watching you curl into yourself.

"poe, i'm so sorry." you sob, not noticing his confused expression as you hide your face in your arm, words coming out choked and pathetic you say, "look at what i've done."

"you can't -" he pauses, "you didn't do anything wrong, this mess is my fault."

he wants to stop and comfort you, but he doesn't have time. he has to save you, he has to save. you. he's freaking out. he's failed you, the mission, leia, all because he assumed he was better than some first order pilot.

"i have to find you some help," he says, crouching down close to you and moving some hair out of your face. the blotchy, red cheeks, and swollen eyes that hold nothing but pain behind them, made an unexpected tear fall from poe's eye, but he catches it on the back of his hand before you can see. "why can't wait these injuries out, okay?" you nod sullenly, unable to force out anymore words. "do you have your blaster? hm? can you look at me?" he asks, and you do. "i'm going to run okay? i'm going to find you some help."

poe runs for an hour, but aside from the weather finally yielding, he finds nothing. he nearly gets lost on his way back, but finds you sitting up against the hard rock wall, blaster disassembled around you, as you fiddle with the small broken comlink.

"you're sitting."

"i'm totally numb," you whisper, and you're both quiet. you both know that's not a good thing. "i don't know if it worked... but i tried to send out a signal. the transmitter looked functional enough, but the mic was broken beyond... I..." you trail off. "i hope they find you."

"us," he corrects harsher than he means to. "they're going to find us."

you smile. "you should go."

"what????"

"you can come back for me later but -"

"-no-"

"-we shouldn't both rot in this-"

"-stop saying this crap, seriously-"

"hellhole, and you're too important to lose and-"

"stop!" he shouts, crouching down to look in your eye, passion and frustration covered his face, "you're too important, don't you get that!? don't you get anything? i can't lose you too." poe's resolve falls faster than it rose, and he's sobbing before you've even really processed what he's said. "i won't survive it. if i lose you. i won't survive."

"poe?"

"i love you, you idiot."

but then you passed out. and poe is screaming your name, tapping gentle slaps on your cheek to wake you, but it's not working. he's worried you hit your head.

"what do i do!?" he's looking around, but there's nothing. he knows there's nothing. "what do i do!?"

but he hears something outside that sounds like yelling. and he doesn't care if its first order, pirates, or whatever, he doesn't care. he'd surrender himself to save you. he's only got a half broke blaster, but he's got the spark he needs to save you.

he hides behind a tree when he sees figures, waiting to ambush the first person and steal their weapon, but when he grabs them, it's finn looking out of breath and terrified.

"poe! maker, we couldn't-"

"come on!" poe shouts, ignoring his friend, letting go of the fistful of shirt he had, and taking off full tilt back to where you were. finn was hot on his trail, silent. while chewie ran not far behind, roaring in worry. no one liked the crazed look in poe's eye, especially when they knew it was bad sign you weren't with him.

when they're back to you, poe first checks your pulse, his own nearly stopping with anxiety. but however shallow, it was there, you were still there.

poe scoops you up, holds you close to his chest for a second, whispering a secret plea for you to stay with him, and let chewie take you in his arms, begging him in broken words to be gentle with you.

and then poe just sobbed as they rushed back to the ship.

you didn't wake up for a full month. poe ran defensive missions, or short trips. but he couldn't stay focused long enough for anything longer.

when he returns from a simple fetch & return for leia, he's greeted by rey and rose waiting in the hanger, chatting excitedly. at first poe is annoyed, as he takes his helmet off and shakes his hair out. how could your friends find a way to stand around and chat and smile... but when they look at him with wide grins, he hesitates to feel hope. they've said nothing but his heart is racing. he thinks it may beat clear out of his chest,

"someone wants to see you," rose singsongs, laughing as poe throws his helmet on the floor and takes off down the hallway, following his usual path straight from the hanger to the medbay.

he stops in the doorway, panting as he takes in the sight of you smiling with finn, who was sitting on the chair closest to you. he gets up when he sees poe, says goodbye, and leaves, patting his friend on the shoulder as he passes.

"you're awake," he says, taking finn's seat, and scooching it even closer to you. he gathers up your hand in both of his, and leans forward to press his forehead against the back of your hand. "please, forgive me."

"forgive you? for what?"

he scoffs, leaning back but maintaining a secure grip on your hands. "well, for nearly killing you, mostly."

"poe, i missed the shot. i had the shot and i missed it, it's my fault."

"no," he says, sternly, in a commanding voice you don't even recognize, and you listen, watching him with kind eyes. he could live in them, melt into them, stay there forever. "you saved us. you made a beacon out of a gun and a broken comlink. you're a genius, you're... you're so..." he grunts in frustration when the words get lost. "i almost lost you..." he whispers, kissing the back of your hand. he leans his forehead back onto your hand, whispering again and again how sorry he was.

you smiled sadly at him. he looked thin, had bags under his eyes. you doubted he has been sleeping, finn said he'd spent every night by your side, curled up uncomfortably on the metal chair.

"nah," you chuckle, "i always was gunna come back to you."

"and how do you know that, hm?"

you grin, winking, "because i love you, you idiot."

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galacticwildfire · 17 days

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Early Mornings

Poe Dameron x Solo!oc

summary: poe dameron and hope solo have places to be, but the only place they want to be is in bed

tags/warnings: essentially a non-sexual situationship (they're disgustingly in love but in denial), cuddling, flirting, kissing that borders on smutty, references to sex and jealousy, some suggestive dialogue, a little angst and brief reference to trauma, but sickeningly sweet fluff overall

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this is a scene I've written for my series fire meet gasoline on ao3 but it's been sitting in my notes app for too long to not share it as a stand alone one shot. also gif for obvious reasons.

The feeling of Poe's arms unconsciously tightening around my body's what stirs me awake in the early hours of the morning. While I can vaguely remember falling asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart it seems that sometime in the night we ended up with my back flush to his chest and our limbs tangled. Any space we'd left between us in the late hours of last night long gone.

My lips brush the arm he has tucked beneath my head as I look back over my shoulder, finding his head buried in the crook of my neck and still sound asleep. The feeling of him nuzzling into me's a now familiar sensation I let myself bathe in for as long as I can before forcing myself to remember that we have places to be.

The only downside to these mornings is the tragic fact that they have to end, especially when physically removing myself from him is a feat in itself. I may as well be struggling against a Wookie with the amount of strength it takes to pull myself from Poe Dameron's arms. Although I'd never want it any other way.

BB-8 beeps good morning and after returning it I glance at the time, reluctantly and very carefully untangling myself from Poe before he can wake up, a learned skill. Knowing the amount of sleepless nights we've both had in the past weeks I decide to take the first shower to let him sleep that little bit longer.

My spare flight suit’s folded in the drawer that had been empty until recently, along with the towel that’s made its way into Poe’s room along with other necessities. Despite having everything that I need when I sleep over I haven’t been able to give up the shirt he’d loaned me to sleep in, not that he seems to mind.

Finding my hairpins on his bathroom counter drives home how routine this arrangement’s become to the point that I don’t know how I slept any other way, how mere months ago I was out there in the Outer Rims alone and now… now I can’t imagine doing any of this without him.

He’s still asleep when I come out in my flight suit, finding him with the blanket bundled up in his arms in place of where I’d been. The sight has my heart clenching and BB-8 beeps quietly to ask if he should wake him up.

“I’ve got it,” I say, leaning down to rub his head as I make my way over to Poe, reluctant to wake him up but people are going to start asking questions if we’re both late to our third meeting this week. My mother would start asking questions, and this is something I wouldn’t quite know how to explain to her.

“Poe,” I hum as I sit down on the edge of his bed, running my fingers through his messed curls until he begins to stir. “Morning.”

He blinks in confusion when he can’t feel me beside him, but the tension leaves his face when his eyes find mine.

“Hey,” he smiles tiredly and murmurs “What are you doing all the way over there?”

“We’ve got a meeting.”

“We do?”

“Come on, Commander,” I say, brushing back the dark curls that fall across his forehead. “I thought it was your job to know these things.”

His eyes are warm as he leans into my touch. “I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“That can easily be fixed-” I begin, slowly withdrawing my hand until he stops me.

“No, no,” he quickly says, and I’m smiling as he pulls my hand back and holds it to his cheek. His eyes fall shut as his lips brush my palm, his morning stubble a welcome feeling. “Don’t you dare.”

I can’t help but lean down to kiss his cheek, bumping his nose with mine as I insist “Come on or we’ll be late. I’ll grab our caf and see you there.”

“Hey, caf’s my job,” he protests as I reluctantly pull back but relents. “How late are we?”

“We’ve got about half an hour, so take a shower and I’ll meet you in the mess.”

“Yes, Captain,” he says, and rolls onto his back while still holding my hand in his, looking up at me with his brows drawn together as he questions “Since when are you up early?”

“Since I’m actually sleeping well,” I say and he gives me a tired smile that I’m helpless to adore.

“Me too, sweetheart.”

“Yeah?” I say softly, knowing that hasn’t been the case for either of us these past weeks.

He nods and brings my hand back to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I mean, I sure as hell don’t wanna get out of bed.”

I catch the glint of mischief in his eye the moment before he tugs me back into bed with him, somehow managing to roll me so I’m lying on my back in the small space and he’s hovering above me - not that I’m putting up much of a fight.

“Which is why I got out of it before you woke up,” I whine as he nestles his head in the crook of my neck and slips an arm back around my waist, intentionally pinning me to the bed with his bodyweight to keep me from moving. “Since someone likes to cling to me like a sloth.”

He lifts his head up with a proud smile. “A handsome sloth.”

“That’s true,” I agree, helpless to deny that as he bumps my nose. “But that face won’t help you when you’re late.”

“It’s helped me so far,” he dismisses, his stubble grazing my skin as he kisses my forehead. “Might not be enough to get me out of trouble but it’s enough to keep you here.”

My jaw drops a little at the audacity but I can’t argue considering he knows damn well it’s the truth as I shake my head at him. “That damn face - my one weakness.”

“It’s alright sweetheart, yours is mine as well,” he assures me as he peppers kisses across my face. “Those eyes… you know I can’t say no to you so-” I whine again as he pulls back and moves his body off mine, settling between me and the wall. “I’ll let you get going and I’ll meet you in the mess.”

He knows he has me where he wants me and I couldn’t care less as I tug him back by the fabric of his shirt and he certainly doesn’t make any effort to resist as he gathers me back up in his arms, settling over me with his elbow propping him up this time.

“No, you’re stuck with me now,” I decide and I’m holding his face as I pepper kisses from his cheek to the bridge of his nose, our bodies melding as our legs tangle together.

He kisses my jaw while he teases “Isn’t being clung to all night enough for you?” It’s then he turns his head to look at me and his lips incidentally brush mine, although it’s far from the first time.

Still, his breath hitches and my voice trembles slightly as I ask “What do you think?”

He searches my eyes, seeking whatever it is he’s looking for before our lips meet. Again, far from the first time. Another in a long series of kisses we’ve sworn wouldn’t happen again and yet we always end up here. The softness of his lips has me trying to recall every reason we’ve used for why this can’t happen.

The fact that we’re a disaster at the best of times.

That we both have the tendency to let our emotions cloud our judgement until it ends in screaming fights in the middle of the hangar.

The fact that he’s still my commanding officer and we’re on fragile enough footing with high command as it is, even if everyone knows we operate as partners.

That all it would take is one bad call in the field and we’re both dead.

The fact that he’s my best friend, my partner, the one damn person in this galaxy I trust whole heartedly.

Knowing that I’d lose my mind if anything ever happened to him.

If I lost him-

My back arches off the bed as his tongue slips into my mouth and he swallows the sound that comes from the back of my throat as the hand that was under me moves to squeeze my waist. He gasps softly as my fingers slip into his hair in return, gently tugging at his curls to pull him closer - needing him closer.

It’s when my legs hook around his hips that BB-8’s beeping reminds us that he’s still there and we both flush in embarrassment. R2’s been around long enough that he doesn’t linger past a certain time, even when Poe and I’s affection is innocent, but despite being a romantic sweet BB-8 isn’t prepared to see anything more than this.

And Poe and I certainly aren’t prepared to put on a show for him.

Still, I can’t help but burst out laughing when Poe murmurs in my ear “We have an audience.” He kisses my forehead again before clearing his throat. “Hey buddy, why don’t you go see what R2’s up to?”

He gives an offended beep, both at his dismissal and us forgetting his presence, before finding his way out and we share a look of mortified guilt. I’m trying to hold back embarrassed laughter while Poe’s head dips to my shoulder to kiss where my collarbone's exposed by the partially zipped flightsuit before he again slips into the bed beside me, holding me close with a caressing hand over my hip.

“I’m guessing you haven’t had to kick BB-8 out before?” I tread, knowing that I’m the only person Poe’s had sleeping over since he’s joined the Resistance, but I can’t help the pang of jealousy at the thought of him being with someone else like this.

“Like I’ve told you sweetheart, I’ve been living like a Jedi since before Leia recruited me,” he says, settling those thoughts with a kiss to my forehead. “I think he’s just mad I’ve been taking your attention away from him.”

“I still give him plenty of love,” I assure Poe and he tugs me closer, his lips lingering on my temple as I bury my face in his neck. “Five more minutes, then we’ll get up.”

“What happened to we’re gonna be late?” he teases and I just groan. “Hope…”

“I know, I know,” I pout, rolling back enough so that my face rests beside his on the pillow we’ve shared more often than not the past few weeks. “I just wanna stay here with you.”

I search his eyes, praying he hears what I really want to say. That I want it to be just you and me. No First Order. No protocol. Just us. Raw and mostly unfiltered.

He plays with my fingers, kissing each one individually before he meets my eye and I know that he does. “How about after the meeting I swap patrols with Karé so we can go out together?” he suggests. “It’s been a while since it’s been just the two of us and our x-wings.”

“Because command nearly has a nervous breakdown every time we go out there together,” I remind him, lacing our fingers together. “I believe the words ‘tie-fighter magnets’ were used.”

Neither of us can pretend we aren’t proud of that label.

“Well, it’s a good thing that the two best pilots in the galaxy can take them out then,” he says but I don’t miss the way his face falls when he remembers what happened the only time we couldn’t. Even now I can't shake the sound of the pure fear in his voice when he pulled me from the crash. He kisses my hand again and tries to push it from his mind but the memory lingers. “It’s you and me, and the patrols Leia’s got scheduled shouldn’t be dangerous.”

“Famous last words,” I say and he can’t argue with that considering command’s right when it comes to our track record. “But I’d like that. You and me.”

“Me too sweetheart,” he says, stretching as he lays back, both of us ignoring the fact that we’re definitely not making it to breakfast before the meeting. “But first I’ve gotta shower, get dressed-” he trails off, deciding to be a little shit as he grins “Unless you wanna join?”

I’m matching his grin with a playful slap to his chest. “Then we’d definitely be late.”

“I didn’t hear a no.”

He can see me blushing red and he still wears that same cocky smile that I’m more than tempted to kiss off his face. I don’t know how many times he and I have been on this ledge, teasing and tempted to go further, only to treat this with more caution than we’ve given to anything else in our lives.

“Are you trying to call my bluff? Because we both know how that ends.”

This is one thing, waking up together and sharing these kisses that we don’t acknowledge. This we can still fool ourselves into believing is the pinnacle of platonic love, a playful extension of the affection we share - an unconventional partnership.

Sex is another thing entirely.

When we’d first met and things got heated I wanted it, and I wanted it with him, but we both know that this partnership is too delicate to handle those emotions on top of all the others we can scarcely deal with on our best days.

“Oh I know,” he assures me. “Considering the last time I tried to call your bluff you took a shot at me.”

“You were the one who said I wouldn’t do it,” I remind him, blaming that one on a bout of temporary insanity on both our parts after a dogfight gone wrong. “What can I say? You drive me crazy.”

“I know,” he grins. “The good kind of crazy I hope.”

“Always,” I smile before correcting. “Well, most of the time.”

“Alright, we’d be lying if we didn’t say most,” he admits and we share a laugh knowing that everyone on base, even our own squadron, was at their wits end with us not that long ago but here… it’s just us and no one else.

Unfortunately that has to come to an end, but not before I press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Breakfast in fifteen.”

“Yes, Captain,” he smiles as I sit upright, but raises an eyebrow upon deciding to try his luck. “I can make it in ten if you give me another one.”

And so I do, only for us to end up right back where we started; in the bed with his hands on my waist and mine tangled in his hair. The gentle swipe of his tongue across my bottom lip has me planning to use the dwindling privileges that being the General's daughter brings to get away with being late by at least another half an hour, although Poe puts a stop to that as if he wasn’t the one who started this.

“Poe,” I whine when he pulls away, sitting up properly and leaving me with my head on his pillow. "Why do you do this?"

He still has the audacity to play around and take his sick enjoyment in riling me up. “We have meetings, remember?”

My eyes narrow at him. “Bastard.”

“What was that?”

“Bastard,” I repeat and he grins.

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Come on beautiful,” he murmurs as he pulls me upright and I just laugh.

“Oh no, don’t ‘come on’ me when you’re the one that dragged me back into bed.”

He gives an unapologetic shrug but the warmth in his eyes makes up for it. “You missed the beautiful part.”

I shake my head and he kisses me again before I have to put my hands on his chest to keep enough distance between us that I can actually get out of the bed and away from it without him pulling me back into it.

“We’re gonna be so late and you still need to get ready,” I lecture, knowing I’ll be the one getting the blame for it considering he’s the favourite.

“Give me ten minutes to get ready and I’ll meet you in the mess,” he promises, extending a pinkie out to me but I’m not naive enough to get close enough for him to pull me back in. “Considering your track record Leia expects us to be about twenty minutes late anyways.”

I scrunch my face up at him but he only smiles.

“You’re really cute when you’re pretending to be mad at me.”

The smile I can’t force back only proves his point. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” he challenges, having woken up intent to test me but I'm not falling into his trap again.

“After the meeting,” I promise before heading out the door to find BB-8 waiting outside for us with R2. “Come on, you can keep me company while he drags himself out of bed.”

We're halfway to the mess when we come across Jess who's in a rush. "There you are, Threepio's been looking for you and Poe. Have you seen him?"

"Yeah he's just in the shower," I say as I continue on my way, only to freeze a little as she turns her head back incredulously.

"How do you know-"

"BB-8 told me," I quickly follow up and she blinks at me in disbelief before she shakes her head and keeps walking, but at this point Poe and I have accepted the fact that our squadron believes we're hiding some illicit affair from them.

Then again, it's always poor Jess who seems to catch us in compromising positions. Although as long as it's her and not my mother, or maker forbid Threepio, I can live in peace with that.

#poe dameron #oc: hope solo #poe dameron x solo!oc #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron x oc #poe dameron x f!oc #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron x female original character #poe dameron x original character #poe dameron fanfiction #galacticwildfire #fic: fire meet gasoline #poe dameron fic #poe dameron one shot

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the-dendrophile-bookdragon · 2 years

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can I get a poe dameron fic please!! I have an idea where the reader works in intelligence on the resistance base and works on comms. poe gets trapped somewhere, and she talks to him to find his way out and saves him. THEN there’s a victory celebration at the resistance base, and poe asks to dance with her, the girl he’s had a crush on from a distance, and then he recognizes her voice and realizes she’s the one who saved his life

A/N: hope you like this. I missed writing for our hot shot pilot.

Lifeline

Pairing: Poe Dameron x fem!reader Warning: angst, fluff

Slow days were a mystery in the resistance. No one had experienced such a day in forever. But today was everyone’s lucky day, or so they thought.

The alarm went off and everyone sprang into action. The pilots made their last repairs before shoving their tool in their toolboxes and kicking them away. The helm and communication center opened the coded channels for every squadron to communicate and receive orders.

Everyone in communication got a team assigned to them. Yours was the black squadron with their infamous leader, Poe Dameron. Or like your friends liked to call him, your walking daydream. But there was no time for daydreaming. You had to focus all of your attention so Dameron and his crew came home safely.

There was a slight crackle at the and of your com till the deep, soothing voice of no other than the Black Leader himself. “Com station this is Black Leader we are ready to jump.” You smiled as you heard his excitement through his voice. “This is com station. Black squadron is clear to make the jump.” Poe thanked you before pushing the last buttons.

It was more or less radio silent between you and the pilots. Till Poe requested a private channel. You opened it with furrowed brows, “Everything okay, Black Leader?” Poe huffed, “No, there are too many fighters. We are ready to retreat. More like my squadron is. I have a target on my back.” Instantly you began to type in his location and searched for possible routes to escape. “Tell your team to retreat and come back to base. I send you coordinates to your next jump. Follow my plan and your ship will be the only thing with scratches on it.” Poe huffed out a laugh. “You are the best. I hope I can thank you later in person.” Heat rushed to your face and you smiled shyly, “Get home safely. Then you can thank me.” Poe followed every step of the plan and as you said, he came home without a scratch. Not even his ship had any tents. His team ran over as he stepped down the latter. He was embraced in a tight hug.

There was a celebration afterwards. Everyone drank and danced. Laughter was heard through the whole base. With a drink in his hand and his droid by his side he searched for the voice of hope during his hopeless mission. Finn ran after him and stopped him as he waded through the mass of dancing people, “Hey, why that determined face.” BB-8 ratted out his friend. Finn smirked and shook his head in understanding. Poe only rolled his eyes at both his friends. “So you are searching for your lifeline?” Poe’s cheeks turned a hue of pink. “But you don’t know how they look. Just how they sound.” Poe shrugged, “I know. It was a bad idea.”

The pilot turned and looked at the people around the makeshift dancefloor. He found you in your group of friends laughing and drinking. Out of no where Rey stood next to him and Finn, “Talk to her. She is really nice.” Poe tsked and wanted to walk away. “Just go to her and ask her to dance with you. Finn and I can’t stand you looking at her and imagining the rest of your life with her. And don’t get me started on the bet between your squadron.” Poe huffed and rolled his eyes before he stomped away from his friends. Rey held up her hand and Finn high fived her.

You laughed hard as on of your friends told you about her day down at the med bay. Your stomach hurt from how hard you were laughing. You felt a tap on your shoulder. You whirled around and came face to face with your crush. You heard your friends whistle lowly before they slowly walked away from the two of you. Poe scratched his neck. His posture told you he was extremely nervous. He cleared his throat, “Hey, I wanted to ask. Do you like- no. Do you wanna dance with me?” He held out his shaking hand. You nodded and took it. Poe let out a breath.

He led you to the middle of the dance floor. During the time where he asked you to dance the pace of the music changed. It became slow and romantic. Poe pulled your body to his. “I hope that’s o-okay?” You smiled before nodding. You hummed softly to the music. Poe heart speed up as he heard the soft tunes escaping your perfect lips. “Do you have any plans tomorrow? After your shift. Wherever you may be working.” You grinned as he nervously rambled. “No, nothing. I work in the communication center. Directing squadrons. Today-“ “You!” You were interrupted by him. “You were the one who saved me today! I was looking for you. Thank the maker I found you.”

Before you could say anything back you felt soft lips on yours. Your eyes went wide and your brain stopped working. Poe felt your lack of movement and stopped. “I-I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncom-“ This time it was your turn to shut him up.

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spilledkauffie · 2 years

Text

Little Birdie 🧡

Pairing: Poe Dameron x FemalePilot!Reader Word Count: 2.4k T/W: grumpy then fluffy ☁️ A/N: I miss this man every single day— something from my drafts, not my best

Poe treats you a little too much like “one of the guys” on a training flight thinking he was protecting you, until he realises he can’t make your choices for you, but he can stand beside you.

↳ m a i n m a s t e r l i s t

“Dameron!” your voice echoed throughout the hangar, attracting attention throughout the open space filled with other pilots, droids, and a few maintenance workers, yet your target kept his back to you.

“Well, if it isn’t, little birdie,” Poe remarked just loud enough for you and his co-pilots of Black Squadron standing by to hear, before turning to address you personally with something witty. But before a word left his mouth he was hit with a blunt force in the chest. Staggering back a little he suddenly found the weapon, your helmet, in his hands as you pressed it harder and deeper against his chest while you spoke.

“Next time we fly, stay outta my way!” You said, unblinking and chin dipped to create a more intimidating presence, even though you were still forced to look up through your eyelashes a little in order to meet Poe’s gaze.

“Your way?” Poe asked as if your words were a harder blow to his chest than the helmet you’d just shoved into him, “how about you stay in formation?”

“I was in formation until you tried to take over,” you retorted, raising both your eyebrows and straightening yourself up, “this was my run remember?”

“Then why was I invited?” Poe shook his head, smiling.

“You invited yourself!”

“Funny that you were the only one not welcoming me then,” Poe smirks, seeing how obviously riled he’d gotten you. He loved when there was a fire behind your eyes, and the blood rushing to your cheeks as you scrunch your nose and knit your eyebrows together in annoyance. There was something so enticing about the way he was the only one who could push your buttons, and it was oddly attractive.

“Yeah, well how about we just-“

Before you could finish your sentence the entire hagar was called to attention by a colonel making his way through the hangar. The conversation was over, you’d completely removed yourself from Poe, although he held your helmet in one hand while coming to attention next to you per the colonel’s order.

“That was some rough flying out there for a test run…,” the dry voice snapped, looking at you, “trying to push through will do nothing but end you up in pieces.”

“Yes, sir,” you responded, not noticing Poe shift his eyes over to you at the tone in your voice. It suddenly sounded like you were near breaking.

“After a stunt like that you’re now under review for squadron placement,” the colonel remarked coldly, turning away.

Poe saw your head drop, a squad placement review almost always meant you were getting demoted from flight and moved somewhere else. In other words, it meant you’d no longer be flying, you’d be grounded.

“Colonel, sir-“ Poe started to your surprise.

“Dameron,” the colonel interrupted, “...well done, as usual, dismissed.”

Poe shut his mouth, watching the officer walk away completely unphased. Turning, he saw you biting your bottom lip and holding back brimming tears. Your hands which were previously curled right into fists now hugged your arms. He knew your body language well enough to understand that meant you weren’t in a good headspace, he knew he was the one who had made a mistake out there

“Hey, it’s just a review,” Poe tried to find a positive, despite knowing there was a slim chance, “maybe-“

“I’m serious,” you start, ignoring his efforts, staring at the ground, but feeling his gaze on you, your next words spoken slow and deliberately, “stay out of my way.”

The moment Poe tries again, you’re walking away, looking left and right to see if anyone else witnessed that humiliating encounter. It’d taken you everything to get to where you were, you loved flying, you adored that you could be up there with Poe and his squad, but now it felt like you were losing everything, your spirits, flying permission, and even Poe. It didn’t make any sense no matter how hard you tried. Joining the Resistance was the best thing to happen to you, so why did it feel so bad right now?

Poe opted not to go after you, knowing you needed some time alone, and he needed to figure out an apology. He knew why you were under review, it was all because he interrupted your run. He thought they’d just assign you to patrol or escort if he made it seem like you couldn’t handle a full manoeuvre simulation run, but he never expected you to get grounded. Watching you pack up a few things out of your X-Wing, you headed out of the hangar, and Poe stood there, holding the helmet you’d left with him. At least there’d be an easy excuse to see you again. Poe gave you more than enough time alone, partially due to the fact that when he tried to approach you while you were working on your X-Wing, he heard you cursing and tossing tools, fairly certain his name was in there somewhere as well, now it was his turn to leave the hagar.

Keeping a distant eye on you, he finally felt that enough time had passed for you to cool down and him to have a good apology for you. It was late, well past when majority of the day crew retired to their chambers for some rest, so he thought he’d give your room a go. Helmet in hand, he bagan knocking at your door.

“Hey, it’s me,” he called out, optimistically, “y’know, your boyfriend.”

Silence, ‘I deserve that’ he thought to himself tilting his head, but tried again, this time a little harder, the door was metal afterall, maybe you hadn’t heard him.

“I just- thought we could talk,” he tried, “haven’t seen you since-ah- much today.”

Continued silence filled that hallway, and Poe tried knocking one more time with a few, “come on, come on” mixed between knocks.

“Look, alright, I know that I messed up… I admit it, I took over your flight,” Poe gave up knocking for a moment, leaning against your doorway, “but I wanted to tell you, I’m sorry. It was completely my fault and I was only trying to-“

“Master Dameron,” a familiar, static voice chimes in from behind.

“Oh,...Threepio,” Poe half smiled, “couldn’t sleep either huh?”

“Droids don’t sleep sir, we shut down,” Threepio kindly felt he was educating him, “but I have been told others cannot sleep with your untimely racket making.”

“Well, if she’d open the door, I’d be on my way,” Poe proceeded to knock again, “but as you can see she’s ignoring me, I actually have some new for her too so-”

“No, sir-“

“Threepio,” Poe lifted a hand in a chopping motion, “I respect you, but I really don’t think this is your-“

“Oh no, sir, I only mean she’s not in there,” Threepio remarked, causing Poe to face him fully, with eager eyes.

“Oh,” Poe paused, feeling a heat rise to his face from embarrassment, “then…where is she?”

“She’s in the hangar, she left an hour or two ago, but was told not to tell anyone, in fact, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you,” Threepio realises his mistake, “oh dear, what have I-“

Poe decides that’s not a lament he wants to be around for “great, thanks buddy,” he pats the droid on the shoulder before heading toward the hangar, still surprised he hasn’t seen BB-8 either.

Entering the open bay, he finds you sitting in the middle of the spacious room, surrounded by X-wings, staring out the bay window, stars flowing by like a river of light; you look so small amidst it all. BB-8 was alongside you softly rolling back and forth. Poe looks down, taking a moment to caress the side of your helmet, the code name Poe gave you still etched into the side surrounded by designs he’d helped you paint on. Sighing, he lifts his head and goes to confront you, holding your helmet in his hand at his side.

“Hey, little birdie,” Poe starts, tone gently.

At his voice, you look up, neck arching back to meet his gaze. Normally you were happy to hear his voice, you would have loved to have a conversation; there were nights you’d spent talking ‘til daybreak in the hangar, but this wasn’t one of those times.

“Dameron,” you look back to the stars passing straight ahead of you, practically dismissing his presence entirely, let alone his attempt at intimacy.

“Wow, I thought you’d be a little happier to see your own boyfriend,” Poe attempts to be charming, “you know one of these times I might not make it back after all.”

“Not when he’s trying to get me grounded, correction, got me grounded,” you start with a bitter tone, but quick shift, hugging your knees a little closer to your chest to match your now worried tone, “but don’t talk like that.”

Poe nods, he knows he can’t argue with that, he was known for being in a terrible attitude when Leia grounded him. And if you’d made a comment about not coming back, well he’d be doing exactly what he was right now.

“Look, I-” Poe starts again, but when he noticed you weren’t even looking up, he opts to sit beside you. If you wouldn’t look at him, at least you could be on the same level that’s all he was trying to get back to afterall, “I came here to say I’m sorry, I was just trying to-”

“BB-8 told me,” you comment suddenly, with an emotionless tone.

“He did?” Poe glares over at the droid, a little uneasy about the secrets he could’ve spilled.

“Yeah,” you sigh, finally looking over to Poe, “and I get it, you don’t want me to get better as a pilot because you think I’ll take over your missions, but you can’t make my choices for me and it’s not fair of you to try and stop me from being the best I can be for the Resistance.”

Poe shook his head, almost chuckling, turns out BB-8 didn’t tell you everything, not really.

“I think there may have been some things lost in translation,” he rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling out of embarrassment, while you stare at him, “I don’t want to stop you from being the best that you can be, because you’re incredible and we need you, and I really don’t mind flying with you, as a leader or co-pilot,” Poe confessed, outlining the bird you had etched onto your helmet, which he stared down at in his lap, “what I am. . .is scared about is losing you. Because I’ve lost some excellent pilots, friends even, and I can’t lose you, you mean too much to me; I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

Dropping your shoulders, you place a hand on his arm to draw his attention to you, meeting his big brown eyes, and an apologetic attempt at a smile, you realised this wasn’t one of those things that could just be fixed in a moment, it would need time and work, but you wanted to make sure you did that together.

“Now you know how I feel every time you go out there,” you point out, not to rub it in or one-up him, but you wanted to explain that it goes both ways.

“Yeah, I- I know,” Poe nods in agreement, sighing, “I guess I just worry about you more than I worry about myself. I can’t help but wonder if I’m not there is something’s going to happen. Not because of you, you’re one out our best, but-”

“It could to any of us,” you gently say, “but I really want to make this work, Poe, and I know that means both of us are going to have to let things go, at least a little bit.”

Poe chuckles, “you’re telling me, with you being a captain and all.”

“A- wait- captain?” you pull back from him completely, not sure if he’s messing with you or serious.

Poe smirks, but tinges of anxiety still come through it as he meets your wide eyed gaze, “yeah, well, turns out being Wing Commander pulls a little weight compared to a deck colonel-”

You throw your arms around his neck, nearly knocking him over, before h can say another word. Poe wraps an arm around you to support you, feeling your cheek press against his as you whisper, “thank you.”

“You were born to fly,” he closes his eyes and you can feel him hug you back, before you pull away, although this time you stay a little closer.

“And we’re-”

“We’re gonna make it through this too,” Poe nods, “I can’t give up on my best pilot or my best girl.”

You shake your head, feeling tears brim in your eyes again, you don’t know what to say, you got an apology and a promotion all in one night. Bringing your sleeves to wipe your eyes, you laugh at yourself for being emotional, but Poe knew the feeling exactly, you and flying were his greatest treasures, to feel like even one was slipping away was awful, he couldn’t be more sorry for making you feel like you were losing both. He wraps an arm around your shoulders as you sit next to him, until you compose yourself enough to say another thank you.

“It’s the least I can do, oh! And return this,” Poe extends your helmet towards you, “you’re gonna need it.”

You trace the bird with your fingers, as Poe settles on the floor more comfortable, stretching out his legs and reaching his hands behind him to lean against.

With a deep thoughtful breath, he starts again, “you know Snap and Karé-”

“Are married,” you perk an eyebrow and throw a suggestive glance to your flyboy.

He pauses, you laugh and nudge his arm with yours as you shift back.

“Hey, I’d take you anyday, Captain,” Poe finally admits, smile across his face, “tell me where you wanna go for a honeymoon, I’ll map it, BB-8 can take over Black Squadron and-”

You giggle as he lists the hypothetical scenarios of what could possibly go wrong should you two take a leave from the squadron, until you gently tap him on the chest, setting the helmet down.

“Thanks, flyboy” you lean your head against his shoulder.

“No problem, my little birdie,” he sighs feeling you lean into him; he wants to stay in that moment for as long as he can.

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retrosabers · 2 years

Text

too late.

poe dameron x gn!reader

summary: poe’s self destructive actions don’t always end in his favor.

warning: this is an angst fest, swearing, mentions of death

word count: 4k

gif by @patrick-stewart

a/n: i got a bit of inspo for this concept from @oscarseyebrow “aphelion” series. it blessed me with this angsty one shot so PLEASE go give it a read, i promise it’s worth it

________________________________

whoever coined the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder" was the biggest idiot in the galaxy.

there were dozens of planets, thousands of miles between you and poe, and the only thing growing in your heart was resentment.

he was never one to deal with his emotions properly. it was a side effect of his mother's passing; the inability to communicate how he was feeling in just the right way. an endearing yet infuriating quality that put you in the position you were right now, on a planet so far from ajan kloss, searching for intel that you knew didn't exist.

what was supposed to be a course of action to protect your heart and his, had both of you so far gone from each other; physically and emotionally. there were no more tears to cry, the sadness in your body having dried up weeks ago, the burning heat of anger taking its place. it was a fire that consumed your whole being; every inch of your skin simmered at the thought of ever facing poe again. you were sure it was bound to happen with the state of the war, but there wasn't a promise you could make to yourself, or anyone else, that you wouldn't tear into him if you got the chance.

naturally, when you got the first holo-call in over two months, you ignored it. if this was his idea of trying to mend the fence, you would've rather fallen into the void of space. as it began to ring repeatedly, you could feel something wasn't right.

much to your surprise, finn was the one calling. the co-general, and more importantly, the only person on base you made an effort to keep in contact with. whenever he reached out, the communication was always encrypted, something only you would be able to decipher. it was partially for safety and primarily for privacy. you both knew if poe found out, he wouldn't have been too happy. that meant being contacted via hologram wasn't to catch up and gossip. something was seriously wrong.

to your relief, finn appeared to be alone, but it did little to calm your nerves when you saw his stoic expression.

"general," you greeted. "long time no see."

a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "lieutenant."

you eased up a little. "what can i do for you today."

finn clenched and unclenched his fists, one of the obvious tells that he was seconds away from unloading a bomb.

"finn" your voice was stern. "what's going on?"

his eyes darted to the ground for a second, head hanging almost in shame, and you knew exactly what it was. you exhaled softly.

"when are you coming?"

you soaked in the information he unloaded about his arrival and tried your best to ignore your increasing heart rate. when he finished relaying the situation at hand, your mouth went dry, the ever dreaded question rising to your lips.

"are you coming alone?"

his silence and avoidance of your gaze was answer enough. you didn't need him to say a word to know the day you hoped would never come, finally arrived.

________________________________

you expected poe to look different, in some way. maybe a haircut, a change of facial hair, maybe even a war wound of some sort. it would've softened the blow of having him in front of you for the first time in over two months, would've stopped the fluttering in your chest you always got every time you laid eyes on the strikingly handsome pilot. the only difference was that he looked exhausted.

the newfound weight of being general to the resistance managed to age him greatly in just a few short months, small streaks of grey peppering his curls and stubble. the bags under his eyes made you wonder when the last time he got a good night's sleep was.

a devilish part of you reveled in it.

it was wrong and unkind to wish bad things on someone. your mother would've scolded you to no end if she knew what you were thinking. but after the emotional anguish poe had put you through, it was the least the maker could do to punish him.

you tried to push your feelings aside when he barely gave you so much as a nod to address your presence. all of those emotions would have to be put on the back burner if you wanted him gone sooner.

there was an overwhelming sense of familiarity as you boarded the falcon. you spent far too many days on board this ship, accompanying finn and poe on recon missions, supply runs, anything really, that allowed you to spend time with the people you cared about most.

you had to remind yourself that those days were long gone. things could never be as they once were, no matter how much you clung to the memories. ridding your body of nostalgia, you slid onto the bench behind the console, finn ushering himself in after you. he pushed a button and a message in a language you didn't recognize was projected.

poe leaned over the table, eyes scanning over the text for what you could only assume was the hundredth time. his thick brows were knitted together in concentration.

"we received word of this message two days ago." poe began, still not meeting your eyes. "rumor has it, it's from a spy in the first order."

"a spy?" your attention was peaked, leaning foward to take a closer look at the message. "i'm sure kylo ren isn't going to take too kindly to someone betraying him."

while the words held no meaning other than the literal, you found yourself staring at poe. you were certain he felt your burning gaze as he straightened himself out.

you turned your attention back to the holo. upon closer inspection, you began to understand the contents of the message, eyes rapidly reading over each line as you slowly rose from your seat.

poe and finn watched in awe as you managed to decipher in minutes what took them hours to even get the slightest idea of translation. you were gifted with a memory that allowed you to recall information at the drop of a hat, making you one of the biggest weapons the resistance had to offer.

your brains was one of the many reasons poe had fallen so hard and fast. the sight had him revisiting old memories he tried so hard to bury, but it was no use. no matter how far and long you two were away from each other, you always managed to reclaim his heart.

"there's an arms deal set to take place on a border planet at sundown tomorrow." you finally spoke, flicking your eyes back and forth between finn and poe. "seems as though both parties are involved with the first order to some degree. didn't you say there was an alleged sympathizer in the senate finn?"

you didn't miss the way his face became overwhelmed with guilt. finn had a hard time hiding his emotions plainly, but it was one of the most trying things he had ever done to outright lie to your face. the anger you were trying so hard to keep at bay was slowly bubbling it's way to the surface.

"the sympathizer doesn't exist." you stated monotonously.

the two generals were silent. poe hadn't even been able to look at you throughout this entire ordeal and your stomach twisted with disgust.

"the least you can do is look at me."

poe swallowed sharply before finally meeting your eyes. the act was so minuscule yet it set every inch of your body ablaze, nothing short of a lover scorned.

there was no need for them to be here. the message could've easily been translated by a number of people on base, the language more commonplace than they both cared to admit. this visit wasn't for business, or the better of the galaxy. it was to ease poe's painfully guilty conscience.

he knew he had absolutely no right to ask for your help, regardless of your loyalties, which by default, meant answering to him. truly he was still in shock that you hadn't objected to his arrival, that it had taken you longer than 20 minutes to see through a painfully weak lie he used as an excuse to finally face you, and most of all, he was still shocked he managed to push you so far away in the first place.

poe held your gaze with so much conviction it was overwhelming. it was a different kind of power than the sensual effect he normally had. this was the command of a leader. a general.

you expected him to be man enough to at least say something, but the bravest pilot in the galaxy had never been more of a coward. before you could blow up, you swiftly slid off the bench and darted in the direction of bay door, ignoring finn's desperate pleas for you to stay. the sound was drowned out by blood rushing to your ears. you were so focused on trying to maintain composure that you didn't even notice poe had followed you out, the planet's stubborn humidity knocking you out of your trance. he brazenly reached to grab your hand, but your body acted before your mind could, and soon enough your palm came into sweeping contact with the side of his face.

neither of you expected it, but you didn't regret it, not even a little. poe cocked his head to the side before nodding to himself, almost in acceptance.

"alright. alright, i deserved that."

you let out an airy chuckle. "that's all you have to say? are you kidding me?" you started pacing back and forth, grass crunching beneath your boots.

poe opened his mouth to speak, but the daggers you shot him warned that the floor wasn't his. not anymore.

"i've been stuck here for almost three months, and you thought lying to me would be a good bridge to an apology? maker, i really don't know you at all, do i?"

you struggled to find the words that emphasized the emotional hell you had been in all this time. it was ironic; you had rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in your head, but as he stood there, flesh and blood in front of you, every single thing you wanted to say vanished from existence.

poe was the biggest casanova you ever met, making you trip over your words and actions like a lovesick teenager. he always prided himself at how he could leave someone so talkative practically speechless.

this was the one time he was ashamed of it.

the sound of his voice calling your name stopped you in your tracks. time ceased as the moment you saw him last came rushing to the forefront of your mind.

"why am i being sent to some planet out east?"

poe ignored your question and continued on, back turned as you jogged to meet his pace.

you nagged with a tug of his arm, turning him to face you, expression stony and unreadable.

you quirked a brow, and he simply shook his head. "i need you there for intel."

"what intel?" you laughed. "it's a place full of diplomats profiting off the war who could care less who ends up on top, so long as it doesn't affect their pay roll. what could possibly exist there for me to find?"

"you're going, and that's final."

"dameron, i don't understand-"

"there's nothing to understand!" he was quick to interrupt, snapping at you in a way you didn’t expect. "i'm your superior, and i'm telling you, you're leaving on a cruiser tomorrow morning."

"what is going on with you?" you halted in your tracks. you hesitated for a moment, unsure if it was appropriate the bring up the matter at hand. poe's unwavering resolve did nothing to ease your worries.

taking a deep breath, you stepped closer to him, your bodies only inches apart. out of habit, you reached to intertwine your fingers with his, but when he backed away from your touch entirely, your heart sunk. this was the first time he wanted to maintain distance between the two of you, and it sparked an uneasy feeling.

his jaw tightened, and you saw a flash of sadness wipe across his defined features. you noticed it in the way his brows turnt in ever so slightly, the way his nose twitched, and most importantly, the way he couldn't even look at you. as quick as it appeared, it was gone; the cold and distant man you had been dealing with for the past week returning.

"poe." you pleaded.

he closed his eyes and let out a strained breath.

"it’s general."

you were certain anyone within a ten foot radius could hear the visible sound of your heart shattering into a million pieces.

two words managed to act as a pair of scissors, cutting the tie between you and the man you had grown to love, and the worst part was, you were clueless as to why.

your bottom lip trembled, signaling that tears would soon follow, but your defenses were already set in place. you'd be damned if you let him make you cry in front of who was left on the rebel base.

"fine then, general." you replied, giving him no inkling of your true feelings. "i'll be gone in the morning."

as you turnt on your heel, storming off to be as far away from him as possible, poe's facade finally faltered, but it was too late.

the damage was already done.

coming back to real time, you rubbed your nose with the back of your hand, turning to face him fully.

"why did you do this?"

your normally confident voice wavered, and now poe was the one rendered speechless.

"why," you repeated, inching closer to him with each word. "did you to this to me?"

all he could do was shake his head and frown into his bottom lip.

"poe." you pleaded as the tears you withheld for months began to fall. "i deserve to know why."

he thought that he was finally ready to be forthcoming with you. he had time to adjust to being a general, with the help of finn, but it was evident that nothing could've prepared him for the harsh reality of how he badly hurt you. it tore him apart to see one of the strongest people he knew reduced to nothing but pleas and tears.

all by his own, stupid hand.

your sadness molded with anger, temper increasing the more time passed without so much as a word from poe. your positions just about mirrored the last time you were together, except now you were going to make sure he knew exactly how you were feeling.

"dameron!" you shouted, unexpectedly shoving at his shoulders. he stumbled back a few feet, eyes wide at your sudden outburst.

the desperate whisper of a "please" you let out was what sent him over the edge.

"i just can't!" he finally shouted. "okay? i just... i just can't."

"that's not good enough for me." you spat, your argumentative nature returning. "i've been here for fucking weeks without a word, an explanation, nothing. so ‘i just can't’ isn't going to work for me, general."

the venom that accompanied the use of his rank felt like a blaster shot to the chest, wounding him damn near fatally.

"if you don't give me an answer right now, maker help me i'm going to kill you before kylo ren gets the chance."

he knew you weren't joking either.

he took in another shallow breath, the emotional dam he sheltered on the precipice of bursting as he prepared for the confession.

"i thought it would be better for you."

the silence that immediately followed was deafening.

his eyes were glued to yours, attempting to read what was going on in your head. something he used to do so easily was proving to be much more difficult than he ever wanted.

poe was completely baffled when you started laughing. full on, clutching your sides, grinning ear to ear, on the verge of tears laughing. your hands settled on your hips after you collected yourself.

"that's the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard."

apprehension had turned into annoyance, as that resting scowl of his finally made its appearance.

"it's the truth."

you erupted into giggles once more, and now poe's annoyance shifted to anger at how lackadaisical you were acting as he tried to talk about his feelings.

"this isn't funny." his tone was stern, the adopted "general" voice as finn liked to call it.

"oh it's absolutely hilarious."

"enlighten me then, lieutenant."

the use of your rank didn't have nearly the same effect as you using it on him, and poe was realizing he didn't have the upper hand. all traces of humor were gone, your heavy, undiscussed emotions the only thing that remained.

"you really wanna know what i think dameron?" you stated, voice surprisingly calm.

all he was capable of was a nod.

"i think you're a coward."

"excuse me?"

"did i stutter?" you sneered, arms folded firmly against your chest. "you're a fucking coward dameron."

"really?" he replied, voice dripping with irritation. "because i would think that keeping you safe makes me the opposite, actually."

"safe from what? the war exists everywhere poe, things haven't exactly been peachy here."

"you're safer here than on base."

"says who?" you shouted, growing impatient with the nonsense coming out of his mouth. "i was ten times safer when i was with you and finn, and you know it."

you pinched the bridge of your nose, becoming more and more frustrated with each passing word. "you think you know what's best for me, but trust me when i say, you don't."

"no," he countered, voice booming much louder than he intended. "trust me when i tell you, this is better for the both of us."

"better for us? or better for you?"

poe fell silent, confirming everything you had suspected since setting foot on that cruiser months ago.

it was bittersweet, to know you had been right all this time. it felt good to know you weren't imagining poe's reciprocated feelings being as strong as yours, but it gutted you knowing he couldn't let himself indulge.

the perks of being the general.

your tongue prodded into your cheek. this exchange had gone on for far longer than you would've liked, and it was evident that it wasn't going to give you the peace you hoped it would.

you let out a low sigh as you rubbed your temples. "you know what? this is pointless."

his eyes widened as you backed away from him a few paces.

"i can stand here and tell you how i feel until my lungs give out, but it won't make a difference and i just can't."

at the sound of hearing you repeat his words from earlier, poe couldn't bear to accept defeat. not when the last few months had been nothing short of agonizing without you. in the most destructive attempt to bury his feelings, he only amplified them, and now they had grown to a point where being without you was a worse fate than death. he had been near that point more times than he could count, but nothing compared to the hollow feeling in his chest from your absence. absolutely nothing.

and so, before he could even process it, he closed the few foot distance between the two of you and cupped your face in his hands.

it caught you completely off guard, the way he was suddenly invading all your senses. you eventually relaxed into his calloused palms, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling you missed all too dearly. you molded into his hands unwillingly and tried your damnest to keep your walls up, not ready to give in to your desires that easily.

leia had caught onto it fairly quickly, when the two of you made your afflictions well known. she said it was the kind of feeling that only came once in a light year, and that it would be foolish to let go of such a rarity. she knew even before poe did, that you were just what he needed.

it took him pushing you across the galaxy to understand the weight of her words, and the realization came far too late.

just as he had reacquainted himself with the feeling of you, you retreated from his touch.

"i can't." your voice was barely a whisper.

"please." it was poe's turn to beg, his tone desperate and needy.

you sniffed and retreated even further, returning to the safe distance you maintained since coming outside. it was better this way. you knew the minute you became too comfortable with having him, he would find another way to push you further and further, until one day, you'd be too far away for him to find you.

he was at an arm's length like this. you could live with the distance, so long as it was a short journey.

"come find me after you win the war, okay?"

his heart caved in, the damage on the verge of becoming irreparable. before you could back away out of his reach entirely, he grasped your hand, a last stitch effort to change your mind.

you smiled meekly at him, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes once more. poe didn't even realize he was crying himself until you leaned in and swiped your thumb across his cheek. he relished in the feeling of your touch on his skin.

"please." he repeated once more. "i need you." he swallowed before he finally let the flood gates open.

“i love you.”

the admission you so desperately craved months ago came tumbling from his lips. under different circumstances, you would've been a grinning idiot, he would've picked you up and twirled you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing you until you were breathless.

but it was too late.

the tides had changed, and so had you. the love you had for poe would never change, or go away; that was something you both realized now. but there were things far greater waging in the galaxy right now, and you had to trust you would find your way back to each other if the stars were truly aligned in your favor.

with as much strength as you could muster, you pulled yourself away from him.

"go on, you've got things to do flyboy. you know where to find me."

the nickname tugged on his heartstrings, memories of your time together over the past few years plaguing his brain. it only emphasized the severity of his mistake as he trudged back the falcon. each step he took away from you added another pound of weight onto his chest, and as the gravest of realizations hit, his knees almost gave out from under him.

it was far from an unfamiliar one, not in the slightest. but with the situation at hand, it was a weight so heavy he couldn't continue without addressing it.

"what if i don't make it?"

his voice was the weakest you'd ever heard. it lacked all things poe; confidence, conviction, certainty. emotionally, he was completely and utterly exposed, baring all of his heart out to you in a way you wished he had long before now.

you gave him that sweet, reassuring look you always did, and it deepened the growing cracks in his heart.

"you will. i've seen you survive a lot of things. you always find some hair brain way out of your problems."

he chuckled glumly. "not out of this one."

as he turned around to look at you for the last time, he couldn't help but smile solemnly, leia's voice ringing like a beacon of hope in his ears.

"you can always find your way back home."

he was determined now more than ever to make sure that home was you.

________________________________

thanks for reading! any feedback or reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

#poe dameron #poe dameron one shot #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x gender neutral reader #poe dameron fanfiction #oscar issac #star wars #star wars oneshot #rise of skywalker #the last jedi #writing

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lavender-at-heart · 2 years

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Poe dating a Jedi would include:

*not my gif*

Pairing(s): Poe Dameron x gn!Jedi!reader

Warnings: mentions of war

Genre: fluff , romance

Notes: requests are open! Sorry the fics have been so short recently

-------------------------------------------------------

When he first met you he was totally fan-girling

"hi! I'm _____"

"I know."

Asked you all the questions he could think of

"so are you like a wizard?"

Would beg you to use your lightsaber

"not if you wanna keep your fingers"

When you'd first met you thought he was a arrogant strong headed pilot that you didn't pay much mind to

But even when you first met you felt a pull. A pull to him that got even stronger the longer you knew him.

At first he thought he'd be out of your league, super cool magical and pretty/handsome Jedi and a pilot? Ya right.

But then he started thinking that you might like him too

you never got angry or ticked off at him, even when he did something really stupid.

You'd blush when he'd grab your hand or give you a hug

And you'd offer him to sit in with you during your meditation time, your sacred alone time.

He didn't even know how to meditate but he enjoyed sitting with you in the silence of your room or the forest.

He was absolutely smitten by you, you were everything he wasn't : calm , calculated, and wise.

So one night, one late night, he worked up the courage to ask you out

"hey- hi! So...um- I really like you. Like really really like you and uh yeah- maybe just maybe you'd wanna go out with me?"

You had never seen him so nervous , and I mean how could you say no to him?

Since then you've both been having the time of your lives

He taught you how to better your piloting skills and would take you for rides and show off all of the fancy tricks he knew

And you taught him that blowing things up is not always the answer

You taught him how to meditate and keep in check with his emotions

Told him everything you knew about the force

You loved going on walks with him in the forest, all you could feel was just you, Poe and the trees

Ok and maybe- 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 , you'd let him try out your lightsaber

You'd have to go to a big empty place so he doesn't end up decapitating someone

If you wanted to get married , the wedding would have to be small and short cuz ya know- w a r.

But that doesn't mean it would be any less amazing

You'd set up a small wedding area in the forest near the base

✨sci-fiforestweddingcore✨

Invite everyone in the resistance

This mf would show up in a leather jacket/hj

Finn would be the best man

And Rey would be the bridesmaid/other best man

General organa would marry you

When the war was finally over at first you and Poe didn't know what to do

You had been exposed to war your whole life, there has never been a time without it

You settled on Poe's home planet of yavin 4 , even built yourselves a nice little home with a garden and pond , a place you could spend the rest of eternity in

You'd make sure to live somewhere quiet so you could meditate and study but close enough to the hanger where Poe's x-wing lay sleeping

Poe remained a resistance pilot but didn't have to leave home so much

And you decided to continue your Jedi studies , trying to learn as much as you could . You also helped people in the town as much as you could , even started teaching some of the local children about the force and Jedi

Sometimes Poe would let you read some of your Jedi texts to him.

You knew he couldn't comprehend them very well but you still felt grateful that he wanted to learn , and he saw how much you loved it.

Honestly you never thought that after all you've been through that you would be able to have peace , settle down and maybe even start a family.

#star wars #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron headcanon #poe dameron one shot #oscar issac #the force awakens

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captainsophiestark · 2 years

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Error, Flight Not Possible

Poe Dameron x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2022!

Fandom: Star Wars

Prompt: “Check that again, are you sure?”

Summary: A short little fic about Poe and Y/N, established couple, spending time fixing an X-Wing together. Just a little fic of adorable domestic fluff and teasing.

Word Count: 1,006

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Alright, just one more little tweak..."

I chuckled to myself as my boyfriend shifted around under his X-Wing, tinkering with the engine to try to get it back up and running. I popped another piece of popcorn in my mouth and glanced down at the datapad by my side, waiting for any sign of a change.

I heard a pop, and Poe grunted as he twisted the wrench in his hands for all he was worth. His X-Wing had been pretty beaten up in his latest dogfight, so badly that it needed some serious work to get up and flying again. Poe had been working on it all afternoon, trying to fix the problems. I'd been providing moral support.

"Okay! Let's give this another try."

Poe put together a few wires underneath the ship and started her up, and the engines flared and spluttered to life. He rolled out from under the ship and looked at me hopefully as I turned to examine the datapad.

"Mmm it's still saying Error, Flight Not Possible."

"What? No!" he cried, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Check that again, are you sure?"

"Yeah, sorry babe," I said, my eyes scanning the datapad one last time before turning back to my boyfriend. I gave him a sympathetic smile. "It's still not working."

"Dammit all to MUSTAFAR."

Poe ducked back under the X-Wing, but I couldn't hold back a laugh at my boyfriend's frustration. He quickly reappeared and fixed me with an incredulous look and a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously? Aren't you supposed to be supporting me right now?"

I gave him a guilty smile. "Sorry babe. It's just... it feels like you should, I don't know. Call a mechanic? Like, a real one? Who works on ships as their primary job, not just as a hobby?"

"Oh, so you have no faith in me. That's what this is about." Poe whined, playing up the drama as he rolled back under the ship. "I see how it is. I never expected you to be the one doubting me, but the more doubters there are, the more people I have to show up!"

I giggled again and stood from my chair, picking up the datapad and heading over to Poe. I crouched down on the shop floor next to him, then pulled over another rolling thing like the one Poe was laying on to work on the ship. I got as comfortable as I could, then rolled under the ship to lay right next to him, close enough that our arms were brushing.

"This is crowded and horrible, and I'm gonna get a bunch of oil on my clothes and in my hair," I announced. Poe turned his head to grin at me, his hair a mess and his face covered in sweat, and I felt my heart speed up a bit.

"That's hot," he said. I laughed and punched him in the arm, and he chuckled as he rolled a few inches away from me from the force. He wasted no time scooting back towards me, pulling my wheely-thing even closer to his with the hand that wasn't holding the wrench.

He leaned towards me, shifting onto his side in the already-cramped space. He had just enough room to turn over, his shoulder brushing the underside of the ship as he did, until he was completely facing me.

"Thank you for joining me down here, my gorgeous moral support," he said with a grin. I huffed and faked annoyance, but couldn't keep a smile off my own face for long.

"Anytime, flyboy. Although I still say you should call a mechanic."

Poe hummed and leaned towards me, steadily eliminating the remaining distance between us. I pulled back slightly, wrinkling my nose at how dirty and sweaty he was. He came to a stop, his mouth dropping open in exaggerated offense, so I sighed.

"Alright, fine. Don't be so dramatic."

He grinned as I reached up and threaded my hand through his hair, pulling him the rest of the way towards me. Our lips met, and just like I thought, Poe tasted like sweat and oil. Still, he was warm and sweet, and as he dropped the wrench and shifted his now-free hand to my waist, I absolutely melted in the comfortable embrace of my boyfriend. I loved him more than anyone or anything in the world, and especially with all the danger and uncertainty that came along with the Resistance, I'd take every second of time I could get with him.

Even if that meant making out under an X-Wing in a tight, hot, dirty space.

"Poe," I muttered, pulling back just slightly as Poe moved to deepen the kiss.

"Yeah, Y/N?" he breathed, nuzzling into the crook between my shoulder and neck and leaving a trail of kisses there.

"I love you so, so much-"

"I love you too."

"But I think we should go back to fixing the ship so we can get the hell out of here as soon as possible."

Poe sighed heavily, then pulled away from me.

"Fine. All the more incentive for me to finish this quickly, I guess. So we can get back to what we were doing a minute ago."

"After you take a shower."

"You know, you could always take a shower wi-"

"Poe!"

"Fine! Fixing the ship."

Poe picked his wrench back up and resumed his tinkering, and I took the opportunity to stare at him with absolutely no shame. A smile slowly rose to my face as I watched him work, and my heart swelled with love. I'd lay under a hundred X-Wings in a million terrible different locations and environments if it meant getting to spend more time with him.

He was the love of my life, after all. And every time it felt a little too hard to keep fighting and a little too easy to quit, he kept me going. No matter how much we teased each other, we were a dream team, through and through.

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ashxllbey · 1 year

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Poe Dameron x Fem!reader - Mortal Peril (Starman One Shot)

GIF by redheadspark

Word count: 1.3k Warnings: fluff, one or two 'idiots', otherwise none. A/N: Hello there. First of all, thank you for the love on the last chapter. Unfortunately, this is not a new update, as I'm still working on it. But! This is a 50 subs celebratory one-shot, taking place before last chapter, as a thank you for your support. Regarding updates - while I appreciate your enthusiasm regarding this fic, I'm extremely busy and I don't have a lot of free time. Those of you who follow me on AO3 might know that I'm a resident. I'm currently in my ICU rotation and I can't sit down and focus on a 10k chapter, though I would like to. So, please, be patient, and don't 'please update' me. Polite messages are always okay, though! That being said: I'm totally open to writing OS for our two favorite idiots (since it doesn't require nearly as much energy). If there's anything in particular you'd like to see, feel free to message me! I'll keep working on the next update in the meantime. Stay safe, I appreciate y'all!

Taglist for Starman (omg mom look at me, I have a taglist now! Message me to be added/removed):

@a-rose-of-amber

#starman #poe dameron x reader #female reader #poe dameron reader insert #poe dameron one shot #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron #star wars reader insert #star wars fanfiction #50 celebration

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random-writer-23 · 1 year

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Hello my lovelies! So coming this week should be a Kristoff one-shot, and a Poe Dameron one-shot. Just in the editing process but should be up soon! Happy reading!

#Frozen #Frozen 2 #Kristoff one shot #Star wars #Poe dameron #Kristoff #Poe #Poe dameron one shot #poe oneshot #Umcomingworks #new writers on tumblr #fanfiction #fluff #the force awakens #the rise of skywalker #the last jedi #fanfics #oneshots

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moonknightyws · 2 years

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He's magnificent.

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the-force-awakens · 11 months

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star wars appreciation week 2023 day eleven ▸ favorite character arc | martyred hero to leader

#swaw2023 #swedit #starwarsedit #starwarsblr #star wars #poe dameron #nym.gifs #listen there's so many more scenes than this that illustrate it but these shots specifically popped into my mind #I wish his arc got more appreciation bc it's so good #and this is just like. one perspective for it there's so many more scenes/angles that I could take too #posting early again yes bc I'm tired

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luhvsage · 11 months

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| luhvsage’s june fic recs |

☆ - series ✧ - 18+

miguel o'hara

what's in between @ghost-with-a-teacup

not meant to hear yet @kur0m1sblog

☆ to leave the warmest bed i've ever known @angel-eyes05

☆ ✧ show me where it hurts @loganlermanstanaccount

✧ pleasurable practice @hoshigray

☆ annoying @sillyblues

cloud nine @fxllfaiiry

✧ two idiots in love @moonlesslights

jamie tartt

the greatest thing you'll ever learn @writeroutoftime

i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it @pandorasprongs

gravity @midnightfictionlibrary

peter parker-tasm

☆ right where you left me @loeyparker

back at you @dwindlinghaze

matt murdock

✧ intoxicated @hellsburners

poe dameron

✧ always been you @d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n

working in the dark @ichorai

✧ it’s always belonged to you @im-poe-dameron

☆ ✧ mercy, sabotage, and dead space @no-droids

remus lupin

ivy @enviedear

#fic rec #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #x reader #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso #one shot #migeul o'hara x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm spiderman #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #remus x reader #remus lupin #oscar issac

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light-yaers · 2 years

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Little Dove (Poe Dameron x Reader One Shot)

Fic Masterpost | AO3

Based on this request!

Being in the Resistance was hard enough, but it’s made harder by the fact that everyone hates you. They think you’ve got something to prove, think you’re trying to overtake their Golden Boy.

Even Poe believes it; but it’s all a lie.

Warnings: mentions of death and past trauma, swearing, masses of angst, OOC Poe.

Word Count: 5k

You could see the way they looked at you, hear the way they mumbled under their breath whenever your X-Wing hit the landing bays or you turned the corner into the mess hall. You knew they hated you, it was clear to see. Wondering eyes found you during every pre-mission meet, but you tried not to let it get to you.

The Resistance could be a cruel place sometimes, but you knew it was all part of the job.

Dameron was no different—which was the worst part of all.

Being part of Black Squadron was a one way ticket to being noticed, and having Dameron as your commander put you on everyone’s radar even more so. The golden boy of the Resistance. One hell of a pilot. Poe Dameron with the kind eyes and sunshine smile and everything that made you feel fuzzy.

Not that he knew.

Not that he’d even care, probably.

Half the cadets on base had the hots for Dameron, and he fucking knew it.

It was cliché, like some bad Nabooian romance holo; the quiet and reserved cadet; the beloved commander; just waiting for the moment that they got time alone after a mission to actually talk.

But that would never happen. Not with the rumours. Not when everyone thought they’d already figured you out— high and mighty, superior, better than the rest.

They thought that you believed you were better than them, that you had something to prove, that you wanted to kick Dameron off his high horse. Never even cared enough to find out the truth before coming to their own conclusions.

Since joining the Resistance base on D’Qar, no less than a month ago, you were immediately assigned to Black squadron— which never happened. You’d been piloting since you were young, recruited by off-branch rebels as a getaway driver, before joining the good fight.

It just happened that piloting was in your blood, that you were good enough for Black squadron; but cadets hated that. At the end of the day, despite the Resistance being a force to fight evil, cadets still wanted to be the best; still felt threatened; still acted mean like school children.

You were in their firing line as soon as you’d stepped on D’Qar.

You’d mostly got used to it by now, but sometimes the digs still hurt. You endured. You were here to fight a war, first and foremost. You just wished that they’d stop, or at least dialled it down.

During your pre-mission meeting, Dameron was in a worse mood than normal.

“Two, are the coolant compartments up to standard?” Dameron asked, doing the checks with the squad before take off.

Black-Two, another tall, dark and handsome cadet, frowned. “Uh— I actually haven’t checked yet, Dameron,” he said hesitantly. Poe shot him a frown. You hated it when he frowned.

“It was your responsibility, Two, why didn’t you—,”

“All compartments are checked and accounted for, Commander,” you cut in gently, looking at the ground before you got hit with all of their annoyed stares. “I happened to check them last night before hitting my bunk,”

Poe regarded you then, sticking his steely gaze upon you. You forced yourself to look up, hitting his eyes. They were so deep, the most beautiful warm shade of brown that you’d ever seen. You relished every look he gave you, just so you could look into them, but...

Just once, you wished he’d look happy to see you.

“Alright,” he sighed, obviously annoyed. “Well done, Five,” he said bluntly, no sincerity behind it. “Next time, stick to your tasks. We all have a role here. There’s no need to go too far,” there it was, the request to step back; the annoyance he felt about you wanting to be the best.

Even though you didn’t. Even though all you wanted was for this fucking war to end, to possibly have friends on base, even.

“Yes, Sir,” you said, somewhat sadly. You didn’t mean to sound so sullen, but it just came out that way. Poe’s face twitched.

“Dameron or Poe is fine, I’ve said this before,” he snapped, and you took a small step back. He’d been on edge since last week, since that failed supply mission where the First Order killed Green-Seven.

Poe felt every death, every loss, even though he knew it all like the back of his hand.

That was why you liked him. That was one of the main things you adored about him. Despite the things he thought about you, felt about you, hated about you—

You wished he could see that that’s not what you were truly like.

Maybe one day.

The mission itself today— intercept a First Order rendezvous. Stop them from sharing information. Scare them. All the usual things when it came to these kinds of missions.

You and the rest of Black squadron clambered into your cockpits, ready to take off on Poe’s command. General Organa was stood at the back of the landing bay, waving you off as Black One took off first; the rest followed their commander.

As Black-Five, you were part of the back centre of the formation—

Right behind Poe.

A few times, you’d found yourself wondering if he did that on purpose; made you Black-Five so he could always keep an eye on you, keep you in check, make sure you don’t overtake him.

“Okay, squad, let’s do what we came here to do,” Poe spoke over the comms, and you could hear the smile on his face as he did so. When he was in the air, floating through the stars, that’s when he was happiest.

You latch onto the upbeat replies of “Copy, Dameron,” and “You got it, boss!” from around your squad, but you say nothing in response.

It would have been ignored anyway.

The comms stayed silent for a few seconds, before Poe chimes in again. “Black-Five, do you copy me?”

Your heart dropped to the bottom of your stomach immediately.

“Y-yes, Commander,” you replied.

“Then check in when I ask you to,” he demanded.

Maker, why are you so mad at me, Poe? What have I ever done to you?

“Yes, Commander,”

“Dameron or Poe,” he snapped again, and you could practically feel your squadron’s eyes upon you as he spoke. It was embarrassing, it was humiliating, but you had no choice.

“Yes, Dameron,” you forced out, through clenched teeth. Poe didn’t acknowledge it.

“Let’s move out!” he yelled.

You remembered when it all started, the stares and rumours and whispers. You’d just been moved to D’Qar from a previous base, after an incident that still broke you to think about.

Poe had been kind at first. He’d showed you around, as he did with a lot of other pilots. He’d introduced you to his squad, said that you had a shot to get on Black, as well. They had your records, you see; your piloting records.

“You are really impressive,” he said kindly, smiling at you as he recalled reading your records before your arrival. “My squad could use someone like you,”

Maybe that was when the feelings started, deep down in your gut and steadily growing, despite the absolute shift in Dameron’s opinion of you.

It was after your first mission, after you put yourself between Black-Eight and a dreadnought canon and won. That’s when the rumours began, no doubt started by Eight and her friends on base—

Black-Five just had to play hero.

Black-Five disobeyed Dameron’s direct orders to save someone.

Black-Five thinks she’s better than her whole squad.

Black-Five wants Dameron’s status on base.

It was relentless, it was cruel, and most importantly— it was all bullshit. A steaming, massive pile of absolute bullshit.

It took a week or so, but you remembered when Dameron shifted. Before, he’d always been down to listen to you— mission reports, check-ins, for a joke here and there, but after the rumours had penetrated every dorm and shower block and landing bay on D’Qar, he changed.

“Hey, Comman—,”

“Not now, Five. I have to run diagnostics with Three,” Poe said harshly, even though he was floating around the landing bays by himself.

“Oh,” you let out, immediately falling into a box that you had been slowly climbing yourself out of since your arrival on D’Qar. “I just got off guard duty, so I can help—,”

“No, Five. Stick to your schedule,” Poe almost spat at you, finally turning to meet your eye. He was seething, full of a meanness and a rage that you’d never seen take over his pretty boy face before. “Just—,” he started, surveying the shocked and hurt expression on your face. “Follow your fucking schedule,” he repeated, harsher and sterner and more horrible.

Poe left you in the middle of the bay, frozen in place and unable to process his reasoning for being so awful to you.

Since then, it had been the same every fucking day. Every mission, every after-fly beer, every meeting and training session and whatever else—

Poe Dameron hated your guts.

But you could never hate his.

“First Order on our six, Dameron!” Black-Nine yelled over comms, and you forced yourself to focus on the mission at hand.

“Disband squadron formation,” Dameron replied. “Black-Five— stay with split formation B,” he said lowly, and you had no choice but to follow a separate formation. Whenever the group split in two, he always told you to join B, despite being part of his.

“Copy,” you said bluntly, biting down on your tongue to stop yourself from fucking exploding. It wasn’t within your nature to fight back, not against your Commander or other cadets.

So, you followed Black-Six into formation B.

Six X-Wings circled back round, with you at the back of the formation layout. You copied every manoeuvre and twist effortlessly, as you slalomed through stray planet debris and followed their set path towards the First Order Star Destroyer.

Tie fighters were already being shot out from the ships’ landing bays, erupting with high-pitched screams as they traversed through the stars.

“Formation B— break!” Black-Six yelled down the comms, and you all dispersed in time with their commands. You split off to the right, ducking underneath the group and shooting back up so you had the Tie’s in your sight—

Without any hesitation, you engaged your blasters; shooting all of the bastards out of the sky like a game of Space Invaders.

You shot five in quick succession as you sped through the starry void, performing quick corkscrew rolls and feeling every steering change, every hydraulic pull, everything that your X-Wing performed on your behalf.

If your teammates were at all impressed or happy with your work, they still didn’t say a fucking word. You continued on your path through the roaring Tie’s, noticing formation A in the distance.

They were rounding the Destroyer, headed for the back of the ship to sneak up onto the bridge and miss the canons. Dameron was leading them, as always, as the other three X-Wings trailed him.

“B, take out as many Tie’s as you can so we have a chance to disengage their weapons and power!” Dameron yelled over the comms.

“Copy, Poe!” Black-Six responded, pulling up next to you. Quickly, sharply, over the full team comms, Six let out a rude “Get to the back, Five, for fucks sake,”

You shot your gaze through the right of your cockpit, catching onto Six’s face as he looked back at you. He looked at you as if you were a blight to the team, despite you taking down multiple Tie’s just seconds before.

“I—,” you started, but stopped yourself abruptly. “Copy,” you let out, forcing yourself to comply as you fell into formation B once more.

This was fucking bullshit, always had been, but for some reason it was getting harder to put up with it everyday. You wanted to believe that your teammates cared more about the job at hand than forcing you to follow their overly helicoptering rules and authority, but it really didn’t seem that way anymore.

They truly wanted to see you fall. Wanted to see you fail or fuck up or in their dust.

How could you be a fighter pilot if they didn’t fucking let you do anything?

You followed formation B tightly, not wanting to step on toes despite knowing they were keeping you on an unnecessary leash. The five X-Wings in front of you performed brilliantly, shooting down Tie after Tie and allowing formation A to get through several canons.

“Regroup!” Poe yelled, after they managed to break through some defences.

You started to fly over to the main group, ready to group up and fight together, but no one saw the fucking canon—

The big one, the hidden one that’s in formation A’s blind spot as they gather behind the bridge. You saw it first, saw it swivel to aim directly at Black-One—

You engage your comms relay.

“Dameron! Canon on your—,”

“Stick to the fucking mission, Five,” he responded, without even hearing what you had to fucking say.

“Sir— this isn’t—,”

“I mean it, Five! You’re so close to getting a disciplinary back on base, I swear to the Maker,” Poe spat through clenched teeth.

This was it, the final fucking straw.

You exploded, just like a Tie.

“Maker, why won’t you fucking listen to me!” you scream into the comms, as loud and as explosive as you possibly can, but you’re already speeding up before anyone can stop you.

You shut off your relay, so you can only listen to the shouts and screams of your squamates as they tell you to fucking stop it, but you’re already halfway to Poe’s position, canon on your six and almost fully charged.

You don’t think as you pull up, nose to the fucking sky, before abruptly pulling down on your controls— your X-Wing falls into a smooth nose dive, so you can build up speed and momentum.

Poe’s yells are loud as you veer towards formation A, formation B well behind you, but the canon is fully charged and you can’t stop now. You switched back on your relay as the canon shot directly at Poe, but your ship intercepts the stream—

“Canon on your six!” you screamed, as you fell in line sideways, right in front of Poe’s cockpit. He can see your side profile, see your teeth and jaw and everything tense as you fire your blaster at the exact right time—

Your shots landed perfectly, disintegrating the canon’s blast until you can cut through and hit the actual ship itself.

Your lungs burned as you kept firing; relentlessly; tirelessly; inching ever closer to the weapon itself as Dameron looked at you in awe. He saw when you opened your mouth to let out an immense yell, but your comms were off— he saw it all through your cockpit windshield.

“Formation B, the canon!” he demanded finally, and B fell into the same mission as you. Together, the fires of six X-Wings break apart the bridge canon, exploding it into a thousand pieces of debris.

You think your ear drums burst alongside the canon, since all you could hear was a sharp and painful ringing after you succeeded.

Succeeded in saving Dameron’s life.

The Star Destroyer promptly relays to their rendezvous partner to abort, and within seconds, they shot off into hyperspace. You hardly notice, as you focused on levelling your breathing and tried not to think about what would happen now—

Would Dameron kick you off of his squad?

“Commander, are you okay?” Black-Six said over the comms. Poe didn’t reply immediately. The only thing you could feel was his stare, still stuck on you from his own cockpit.

“Group up. Head back to base,” he said plainly, still in shock.

“Copy,”

You were the last back on D’Qar, taking your time as you engaged your landing gear and caught your breath after hitting the ground. Dameron’s X-Wing was three ships away; he was still inside his cockpit, despite landing first.

You switched off your controls and rose from your pilot chair, trembling as you descended the small set of steps, jumping from the last rung. When you hit the ground, you expected everything to feel better—

But it didn’t.

It didn’t, because you could see Dameron as he emerged from his own ship. He threw his helmet to the floor immediately, making a B-line for your X-Wing as the rest of your squad started to get nosey.

They followed Dameron’s route to you with their eyes, shooting smug smiles or wide eyes or disgusted looks at you.

You, though?

You’re trying not to cry. Trying not to let it all get you down. Trying not to explode again when Poe inevitably erupted into screams in front of your face.

“Black-Five,” Poe started, bombarding towards you with a red face and seething eyes. “You— you,” he couldn’t even get his words out properly, not until he stopped right in front of you, breathing heavily as he took in your expression. “You disobeyed my direct orders,” he finally said.

“I know, Commander,” you replied, tired— physically and mentally.

“We all know what you do, Five, what you think,” Poe continued. All of was lies. “We know you’re a stellar pilot, but that doesn’t rank you above my word,”

“I know, Commander,” you responded, sadly this time. You couldn’t help it. Your heart was fucking disintegrating underneath your ribcage. These people didn’t know you, didn’t care to know. They didn’t know your past, didn’t know your present, and wouldn’t know your future.

“I am your Commander, Five. What I say goes. You disrespected your entire fucking squad today by going off on your own, by trying to be the fucking hero. Why do you do it, Five? Why did you put yourself in the fucking firing line for me? Because you believe yourself to be better?”

Did he really believe that?

You lost your battle with your eyes; they won as you stopped forcing back tears. They fell from your eyes slowly, gently, crawling down your face as you keep your eyes wide and focused on Dameron’s.

For a split second, his expression faltered. He was shocked.

Poe Dameron had made you cry.

“No, Commander,” you let out, but your voice was so shaken and weak and pathetic that you could hardly stand it. Everything floated away— your care, your ability to hold back— you exploded. “I did it because my death doesn’t fucking matter,” you said, stronger this time.

Poe stopped breathing. He took an abrupt step back, flicking his eyes between yours. He’d never seen you cry before.

“You’re Poe Dameron, Black Squadron leader, Commander in the Resistance— if you die, it fucking matters,” you spat. “If I die, someone else takes Black-Five. I’m expendable, Dameron. You’re not,”

Poe let out a stuttering breath. “I—,” he choked “I didn’t—,”

“When I rush forward on missions it’s not because I think myself to be better, or faster, or above any of you,” you cried, your voice turning into wails. You needed them to understand, needed them to listen to you just this once. “I don’t— I don’t even know where all of that fucking came from,”

Black-Eight turned to Black-Two. They look at each other, guilt slapped across their stunned faces.

“Black-Five—,”

“No!” you screamed, cutting through Poe’s attempt to speak. “I need you to listen to me, Commander— all of you— just this one time, because I can’t fucking take this anymore,” you wailed.

Poe nodded vigorously, latching onto your every word.

“Of course,” he said quickly, sadly.

“You put me on your squad, Dameron,” you let out, and Poe kept nodding. I know, he mouthed. “You said I was a good pilot, and I am, but that doesn’t mean I want glory. All I’ve ever wanted is to fight for this war, to be a part of salvation— I never fucking wanted fame,”

You breathed heavily, heaving air into your lungs and ignoring the salty drops of tears that gathered on your chin.

Poe swallowed uncomfortably, but he didn’t move; didn’t move from his spot; didn’t move his stare from yours.

“I know all you all hate me,” you let out, forcing yourself to look at the rest of your squad, just for a second, before you turned back to Poe. “I know you don’t let me do anything because you think I only care about being seen, but the reason I act against orders now is because you don’t let me do my fucking job!” you screamed, just so they could hear, just to make sure they fucking listen.

“We don’t hate you, Five,” Poe said smally, croaking, as your expression changed. You looked at him honestly, all of your hurt spiralling out of every pore.

“Don’t lie to me, Poe,” Poe. You called him Poe, finally. “I can take the talking behind my back, the looks that you think I don’t see, but I can’t take you lying to me,” your voice finally cracked, breaking apart as you try to keep what’s left of your composure together.

You stepped back abruptly, smacking into the body of your X-Wing. Poe flinched, immediately reaching out an arm to steady you, but you raised your hand to him.

He stopped, pulling away again, as you finally wiped away your tears.

“I’m sorry for disobeying orders today, Commander,” you said. “But I’m not sorry for saving your fucking life,” Poe looked at you like he’d never seen you before in his life; stunned; amazed. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat, Poe,”

“Five…” his voice trailed off, but you didn’t stick around to hear if he continued speaking or not. You left your squadron in the landing bay, reeling from the realisation that they’d got it all fucking wrong; that they’d been horrible to you; that, without you, Poe wouldn’t be here to yell at you.

You headed to your dorm, knowing that your bunkmate wouldn’t be back yet. All you wanted was to sit in a dark room for a while, to feel everything, to move on like none of it had ever happened.

You’d finally said what you needed to, finally exploded and tried to get them to understand. If they still didn’t beyond this, then there was no hope for you at all.

In the mess hall, you wondered if they were talking about you. Were they sat, drinking beer and laughing about your outburst? Were they sharing it with other squadrons, giggling about how pathetic you’d been?

Or, had they finally realised?

Realised their mistakes, their behaviour, their horribleness towards you.

A few hours pass. You busied yourself by memorising next weeks schedule, sorting your things and cleaning up your dorm. Subtle music cuts through from the mess hall, so you know post-mission celebrations are in full flow.

Poe’s probably there, drinking a beer, talking to cadets, smiling.

You flinched when three knocks hit your dorm room door. You straightened yourself out as you hit the control panel, and watched in shock as Dameron’s face hits yours after the door raised from the floor.

He looked sullen, sad, upset. His eyes weren’t their usual warmth of browns and yellows; they’d been tinted with grey.

“Dameron—,”

“It’s my turn to talk, now,” he said sternly, letting himself in your dorm before you get a word in. “You were transferred to this base, correct?” he asked, back turned to you as his stare is stuck on the wall in front of him.

You swallowed away your nerves. “Yes,”

“Why?” he chided, ever so slightly turning his head so you can see his side profile.

It came in flashes; your previous squad on a mission, the blast of green canons, the explosive bursts of your teammates cockpits, erupting into flames.

“We were ambushed,” you started slowly, your throat drying up. “I… couldn’t save them,”

“That’s why you put yourself in danger,” Poe worked out. He looked to the floor then, and you can tell his eyes are shut— he could feel your pain, radiating through the dorm in waves.

“I do what’s necessary, when I know I can help,” you said bluntly. You balled your fists, overcome with a deep and dark hurt, coiling through your gut.

“You—,” Poe started, but stopped himself immediately. Finally, he turned to you, eyes piercing through yours. “All this time, we’ve been treating you like shit, Five,” his eyes quickly turned glassy, reflecting the sunset from outside your dorm door.

Your heart breaks all over again, just from that look on his face. That anguish, that realisation.

“Why?” he whispered, stepping closer to you. You didn’t move away this time. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

You squeezed your fists tighter together. “Would you have listened?” you let out, dropping your head to the floor. You didn’t want to cry again, but you couldn’t stop the tears from welling in your eyes. “Would you have listened before now?”

“Of course,” he said, but you know he’s uncertain within himself.

“I tried, Poe,” you said, getting overwhelmed. “I’ve tried so many fucking times. You never listened, always cut me off, always—,” the breath hitched in the back of your throat. Poe stepped forward again, reaching out to curl his fingers around your forearm.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Five,” he swallowed, but it didn’t stop his tears from falling. “You’re right. I put you on my squad because you’re fucking brilliant— an amazing fighter and pilot and everything in between— but all I’ve done is stop you from being able to do your job,”

You let out a soft splutter, causing Poe to grip onto your other arm.

“I don’t know— why I fucking let the rumours get to me,” he spluttered. “It’s unforgivable, it’s awful— I’ve been awful,” you shot your gaze to him then, treading forward until you’re close enough to feel his heart thumping beneath his chest.

“Poe—,”

“No, don’t,” he said sternly, cutting you off. “Don’t just accept my apology, Five. You can accept it when you see that I’ve changed,” he let out, as more tears crawled down his cheeks.

“We’re human, Poe,” you croaked out, fighting away the urge to wipe away his tears. “We get jealous and we get scared, especially in this line of work,”

He regarded you then, properly, deeply, looking at you from eye to eye and expanding around your face; your nose; your jaw; your lips. Poe had never looked at you for this long, never taken the time to know the lines and curves of your face until now— when he was crying, when he was sorry, when he was listening to you.

“What you said before,” Poe spoke, softer, gentler, calmer. “About you being expendable,”

Maker, I forgot I said that out loud.

“You’re not,” he said sternly, squeezing your arms in an attempt to make you believe it. “You’re important— so fucking important. Don’t think for one second that you aren’t,”

Your cheeks flushed violently then, eyes squinting through your tears. You let out an abrupt splutter, but all that Poe does is latch onto you further.

“You saved my fucking life today,” he huffed, overwhelmed even more so when he says it out loud. “And I got angry at you about it,”

Poe taking accountability was more than you’d ever imagined getting. He was owning up to his wrongdoings, acknowledging your outburst, acknowledging you putting yourself on the line— just for him.

I’d do it again in a heartbeat, Poe.

“Thank you,” he let out, before he fully came undone. The breath hitched in his throat and his tears fell faster. He dropped his head to your shoulder, while you stood— frozen— feeling every sob bubble out from his chest and burst from his lips.

Gently, you moved your arms to latch around him. You felt the strength of the muscles in his back, as he fully let himself go.

Poe Dameron sobbed on your shoulder until he was fully done. He cried through the material of your shirt, wrapping his arms around you so tightly and resting his hand on the back of your neck warmly.

“I meant what I said,” you let out, as tears kept falling down your own face. “I’d do it again, a thousand times over,”

A thousand times over. Again and again and again, as long as it meant Poe Dameron was safe. As long as it meant he would live to see the end of this fucking war.

You recovered together, even laughing about the fact you were both reduced to puddles. When Poe laughed, your heart slowly pieced itself back together again.

He held you close the entire time, always resting his fingers on part of you and you moved on from the deepness of his confession and apology.

He begged you to come for a beer, and you were incapable of refusing him. All the way to the mess hall, his arm is hooked through yours.

When you turned the corner, the room descended into utter silence. Black squadron immediately looked towards you both, as you focused on calming the anxiety that tore through your gut.

“Come on,” Poe coaxed you gently, moving his grip to your hand. His fingers intertwined with your own, unashamedly.

He guided you to the centre of the hall, where Black squadron usually sat for lunch and after missions. You’d never sat with them before, never thought it had been an option.

When Poe gets up onto the table, you recoil. You don’t know what to do with yourself, don’t know how to stand or sit or whatever— so you simply peer up at him, heart in your throat, fingers buzzing from the electricity that he’s given you.

“Everyone,” he boomed. “Listen,” he demanded. He was in commander mode, now. The sternness of his voice and on his jaw was impossible to ignore. “Today, Black-Five saved my life,”

You sucked in a deep breath, as Poe peered down at you. He smiled at you, like the sun, like the stars, like the Poe you once knew, before all of the fucking rumours.

“She’s a fighter, like all of us, and deserves that recognition,”

And just like that, it was over.

The hurt, the pain, the lies.

Poe Dameron was looking at you like his saviour, because you were.

Poe Dameron was looking at you like friend—

Because you are.

#poe dameron x you #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #oscar isaac #oscar isaac ff #fanfiction #x reader #one shot #star wars #star wars sequels #ao3 #lightyaers #angst #mass angst

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