belts

╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐂𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐁𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 || 𝗢𝗣𝟴𝟭 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . oscar x verstappen!surfer!reader ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : freshly surfing world champ, yn goes to take some much needed time off, and starts her vacay off by attending the miami grand prix. her intention was to support her big bro, but it appears a certain papaya driver had other plans; ❫

━━❪ . . . smau ! ❫

━━❪ . . . warnings : none ❫

━━❪ . . . fc : caroline marks ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ynverstappen

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 767 224 others

ynverstappen world champion, blessed, thank you to the beautiful cali waves 🌊🏆

View all comments

user so well deserved, congrats yn !

bestfriend you were WICKED on the waves girl !!

maxverstappen1 let's gooo, congrats sissy ♡

⤿ ynusername couldn't have you being the only world champ in the fam, now could I ? 😋

⤿ maxverstappen1 no, no you just couldn't 😤

user the verstappen siblings are just legendary

user so with the break coming up, will we see yn at the next grand prix 👀 ?

⤿ user plus the next ones in miami, super close to cali, so 🤞 !!

oscarpiastri congratulations yn, coolest world champion ever 👏🥇

[ liked by ynverstappen ]

user and if I said yn and oscar would be SO cute together ?

Boeta 🏎

hey sissy

where r u ?

Sissy 🌊

chillin'

what's up ?

Boeta 🏎

no, I mean where r u

you said you were gonna be the paddocks when I got back from my meeting ?

Sissy 🌊

oohhhh

well, I am in the paddock

just not yours

Boeta 🏎

what ?

yn, are u hiding in dani's closet again to scare him ?

Sissy 🌊

ahhh, good times

but nope, I'm in the mclaren paddocks

Boeta 🏎

oh

is lando talking your ear off again ?

Sissy 🌊

nah, lol

I'm uh, actually with chilling with oscar

Boeta 🏎

piastri ?

since when are you guys on chilling level

Sissy 🌊

since he asked me out to dinner later

[read]

Boeta ?

uhhhh, boet ?

[read]

ynverstappen

liked by redbullracing, schecoperez, and 977 335 others

ynverstappen soooo good being back in the paddocks, thanks so much for having me redbullracing – and ofc, congrats boeta on p1 ! 💙

View all comments

user soooo, did anyone else see the video of oscar and yn walking around together ??? dude had the dopiest smile on his face too 😭

redbullracing you're practically family yn ! 💙

[ liked by ynverstappen ]

user 2 champs 🏆

danielricciardo thanks for not scaring the crap out of me this time yn :)

⤿ ynverstappen ah, there's always next time dan 😄

⤿ danielricciardo no no, pls don't.

mclaren hope you had a wonderful time at the race yn ! 🧡

⤿ redbullracing are you going to apologize for stealing her from out paddocks ?

⤿ mclaren are we supposed to ?

⤿ oscarpiastri of course not.

⤿ maxverstappen1 thin ice piastri, watch it.

user uhhh, not redbull and mclaren battling it out over yn 😭

user my yncar ship is HERE BDJEHZIS

oscarpiastri just added to their story !

[ caption 1: stolen forever maxverstappen1 🤚 ; caption 2: 🧡 ]

Boeta 🏎

oscar is really bold

Sissy 🌊

oh, I know 😁

it's one of the many reasons why I like him

Boeta 🏎

so you like him then ?

like, really like him ?

Sissy 🌊

yeah, I do boeta

Boeta 🏎

okay then...

invite him to the lunch tomorrow

Kelly has been dying to see the two of you together

Sissy 🌊

she's so prescious I love her

and thanks boeta, for being cool with all this

Boeta 🏎

hey, i may be protective, but who am I to tell you who you can and can't date sissy

Sissy 🌊

🥺🥺 , houd van je 💙

Boeta 🏎

mhm, hou ook van jou 💙

ynverstappen

liked by oscarpiastri, kellypiquet, and 878 301 others

[ tagged: oscarpiastri ]

ynverstappen had some cake by the ocean with my papaya boy... p.s yes, the cake he bought me brought me to tears 🍰 🧡 🌊

View all comments

user BYE I'M GONNA GO CRY IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE

user stop that cake is so cute 😭😭

oscarpiastri I'm just happy to call you mine, liefie :)

⤿ ynverstappen and I'm just as happy to be your liefie ❤

⤿ maxverstappen1 not the dutch- ya'll gonna make me puke.

⤿ kellypiquet max, stop bullying your sister and oscar and go clean the litter boxes dammit

⤿ ynverstappen oohhh, mother is mad now boet, better get to it then 😄

⤿ maxverstappen1 you're staying in my house.

⤿ ynverstappen says who ? I'm staying at oscar's – plus, you know how I love the aussie waves

[ liked by oscarpiastri ]

⤿ maxverstappen1 yn verstappen istg... girl gets a bf and thinks she's the shit.

⤿ kellypiquet MAX.

⤿ maxverstappen1 I'M GOING.

user can I make this comment section my roman empire ?

user I'm laughing and crying rn, this is too funny

some more screenshots because apparently i still don't think I have enough

the original title for this post was just impossible to read check this shit out

"Screensh wife stime ot picture of whife im sure theters something in teh series I haven't screenshotted satyet."

still slightly high, this post is gonna jump all over the series, but it's probably mostly MMA and CFO

Technically I already have this one, uh, twice, but you know, more the merrier. and i will be merry.

ALSO quick commentary for me. Why isn't he bloodied up here? all of the other revengencers (including the kid) are all bloody and stuff, but he's just chillin with his shirt off for some reason. i've always wondered, like is he not partaking in the cannibalism? i think that's ironic right? what with the whole...,,.. cannibal corpse thing...or does he just have better manners than the brainwashed zombie people. using a napkin or something? plus uh i have to admit i think they should've just covered him in blood for the vibes, but he look suspiciously clean comparatively it's like weird to me also WHY IS HE JUST HANING OUT ShirTLESS?????? i mean I get it, i would if i could too, but come one he doesn't need to be doing all that.

there she is my beautiful princess

my everything!!!!

seriously. gonna have EVERY frame i swear to god.

AFSAJKFNSHAUIFBHOASJFPIOS OMFG OMFG YOOOOOO he's so offended?!?!??!?!?!? "UH WHAT THE HELL DON'T BUMP PEOPLE????"

">:0"

"had" strong hands. The wistful way he says it, the way he sort of lingers on that comment for a beat. His attempt at relating to Skwisgaar. sure okay whatever.

also charles, please, next time, maybe just.... maybe just be like "you okay buddy?" he's great at buisness and stuff but man does he fumble when trying to like, talk to people (gee I wonder what that could mean)

i know no one is even around anyways and you probably wouldn't even notice it, but way to look suspicous/

"Oh, gee, I'm sneaking in. Lemme look nervously from side to side"

despite most klokateers serving as cannon fodder, id rather just kms instead of fight one, 216 fucked agent 216 up.

OHHHH and also just real quick while I'm thinking about it, i think MMA is like, wearing the smae stuff as the Klokateers/maybe is reused parts of one?

Same boots, gloves and pants (albeit with some cool new pockets.) Anyways I know it's just like, the same boot model or something, but I thought it was interesting or something i dunno. i'm drinking cherry limeade and still sort of sick and high, so you know whatever.

in love with her pouty self, like girl would it kill you to just :) just once anytime throughout the WHOLE sereies?

ANOTHER one fromt this scene. but in my defense, look at my wives here????

the girls are fighting :( hey i'm sorry if that's super annoying to yalll like im sorry it's just been "my wife" this whole post I'm sorry I'll call them something else

doing all this and for what? he's so mad he lost one (1) fight to charles so now he just keeps going back for more. if you'd have just shot him when you had the chance this would've ended a long time ago.

but also don't because I love charles.

grabbing swords or sassily putting hands on hips?

ahhhh I see.

well uh yeah folks that's all she wrote, i can't think of aynthing else i wanted to get, i think this is most of it ueah uh yeah.

for the ship ask game: sam/tommy for who falls asleep mid conversation, AND/OR ethan/benny for who cuddles :]

Send me a ship and I will tell you: (Sleeping!) Think I'm supposed to do the whole thing and I'm gonna!! cause I like talking a lot!! >:D And I shall do so with Tommy/Sam, since I already did Benny/Ethan!

Who is a night owl:

Tom, if only slightly, and unintentionally. Sam’s mastered the art of Don’t Think About It, Tom…has not.

Who is a morning person:

Tom is. Sam is like…half a morning person.

Tom’s more or less raring to go in the mornings; his life as a cabbie made sure he was awake as soon as he opened his eyes (cause obviously can’t go sleeping at the wheel and all that). 

Once he’s part of the Family, he tends to take his mornings a little slower (granted that he can). He’s awake, but he’s taking the time to have a coffee, skim the paper, catch the morning news on the radio, make sure he’s got his appearance in order. Like that blissful little smile he gives when he’s sipping his coffee before Dino and Lou assault him in Running Man, he’s just..chillin. 

Sam…is not grumpy in the mornings, per se, he’s just quiet. He’s one of those guys that just doesn’t wanna talk to people at length cause he’s slow to wake up (plus he’s not used to people being in his apartment when he wakes up so Tom kinda stops existing to him for a minute lmao). He’s like a car that needs to warm up in the winter mornings: technically functioning but just needs a minute until 100% good to go. His morning routine involves staring into space for like ten minutes, thinking his thoughts and going over a mental checklist for today, before he ‘comes alive’ as it were and can contribute properly to conversation. You can talk to him, but you’ll just get “Mm-hm,” or short answers in response, and he won’t look at you when he does it. Not in a bad mood, just not focusing on you. He’s focusing on his own thoughts rn, he’ll get to you later. Wait your turn.

Everyone at the bar doesn’t rly know that about him cause by the time he gets there (hell, by the time he’s left his apartment), he’s 100% functioning and awake and whatnot; it’s rly only for a few minutes that he’s Like That and then he’s back to normal, so you’d only see it if you spend the morning at his apartment. 

Tommy finds it endearingly funny. He’s sittin there sipping his coffee and skimming the morning paper while Sam is sitting next to him, all stony faced and quiet, and then Tom sees him shift out of the corner of his eye and just smiles like “Mornin’ Sam.” In the extremely unlikely event that someone else stays around Sam’s place, Tom would become the “he’s fine, just give him a minute” guy

Obviously if they get called in, there ain’t no time for chillin nor staring into space, but without any urgency, Tom is just very “life is good c:” while Trapani.exe Is Not Responding.

Are they cuddlers:

Tommy more so than Sam; he’s the kind of cuddler who will gravitate toward Sam in their sleep. Fall asleep separately, wake up to find himself spooning Sam or with his head on Sam’s chest or something. Just happy to share a bed with him :3

Initially, Sam’s not one to cuddle during sleep; he likes his space and he’s not hugely used to having someone beside him while he slumbers. But the first time he woke up to find Tom spooning him made him stop and think “hold on this rules” so he’s become more open to it. While he still prefers falling asleep separated, it means he looks forward to waking up to Tom even more when he opens his eyes and either he’s in Tom’s arms or Tom’s in his 

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon:

Tommy’s the big spoon, Sam is little spoon c;

What is their favourite sleeping position:

(I think all mobsters adopt the habit of sleeping on their backs, no?)

Despite having a whole, big bed to himself, Sam favours sleeping on the edge of the mattress. When Tom ain’t around, Sam sleeps primarily on his back; when Tom is around, Sam tends to fall asleep on his side, with his back to Tom, which looks cold on the outside, but tbh it’s actually more a sign of comfort/trust cause. hey. he’s showing Tom his back. he knows Tom’s got it c: 

Tom’s always favoured sleeping in the middle of the bed. Before he joined the Family, Tom slept on his stomach a lot. After he joined the Family, that boy turned into a starfish sleeper - just arms and legs spread out - and does not show his back to the room, though he more often than not wakes up on his side anyways. In bed with Sam, he does the same thing Sam does and shows him his back (for the same reason ;3c), but God knows he inevitably ends up rolling over and moving toward Sam in his sleep, so it’s not guaranteed how he wakes up

Who steals all the blankets:

Sammy, but that’s cool cause Tom’s one of those blokes who is like. a walking heater.

What they wear to bed:

Well, we know what Tommy wears

Sammy wears PJs that are very similar. His are like a seafoam green tho

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt:

I don’t think they would intentionally swap clothes, especially not to sleep. They got their jammies for a reason. If they ever did wear each other’s clothes, they’d probably do it accidentally, and it’d be during the day time - such as if they’re in a hurry - and don’t realise until Paulie looks at Tom weird and just “You start shoppin’ at the same place Sam does, Tom?” and Tom suddenly realises why his shirt and/or coat felt like it didn’t fit right

I do like the thought that they swap the smaller details of their outfits, though. Subtle ways to show they’re together. Like wearing each other’s cufflinks or having the other’s pocket square thingy. Swapping ties that they don’t usually wear around the Family cause hey Sam why you wearing Tom’s bright fuckin red tie?? I imagine Tom would like to see Sam wearing his coat if he gave it to him for whatever reason. Like that big trench coat he wears during A Trip to the Country, just. Wrap it around Sam’s shoulders

Who falls asleep mid-conversation:

Tom would. Sam’s more likely to straight up admit he’s not awake enough for this conversation rn, while Tom will try and listen/engage, but his eyelids are drooping and he’s yawning

and then Sam’ll say something and not get a response, and he’ll look over to see Tom’s drifted off

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares:

Oh, both of em. Tom takes longer to go back to sleep, and he’s more likely to get out of bed to take a walk around the apartment or wash his face to try and chill out. Sam will turn on the light but he tends to just sit there and ground himself than move around.

Both will come for the other when they wake up and realise something’s wrong; Tom will fetch Sam some water and hold him until he’s okay, Sam will go and get Tom from wherever he’s gone and bring him back to bed and hold him as they go back to sleep. Sam doesn’t wanna talk about it, so they sit in silence in his case, while Tom’s more open to hearing “it’s okay” or “it wasn’t your fault” or “there was nothing you coulda done, Tom”. Both will also play the “no no I’m fine go back to sleep” card (Sam a little more aggressively than Tom) but the other ain’t having it.

Over time, Sam stops having so many nightmares, while Tommy just has more

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep:

I imagine both have had moments where they’ve accidentally lashed out at the other, if only due to not being used to sleeping next to someone or because they were having a bad dream and didn’t wake up quick enough. For a split second, they forget and their brains go “DANGER” before quickly realising that’s just their man laying beside them. 

Sam’s succeeded at punching Tom in the face though. Just. straight up decked Tom before, just the once, when Tom’s tried to wake him from a bad dream.

Next day, Paulie was all “Jesus Tom what happened to your face??” and Tom just “...I fell, Paulie. Down the stairs.” 

“What’d ya do, hit every step with your face?”

“...Yeah, Paulie. That’s what I did.”

And Sam just stayed silent like

Who can’t keep their hands to themself:

I mean when he’s in the Mood, Sam will get handsy. Tom’s too much of a gent, he communicates his Moods with looks rather than touches, but Sam Trapani Doesn’t Fuck Around.

E14: Masters of Evil

This is the first time our Avengers get to fight a group of supervillains (well, besides "The Breakout").

The Masters of Evil have been recruiting in the last several episodes. I am not that familiar with this group in the comics, but to my knowledge, Baron Zemo is usually the one associated with the group. Here he has Enchantress, Skurge, Abomination, Crimson Dynamo and Wonder Man (Wonder Man is a hero!)

Wasp catches Whirlwind again. He had the audacity to show up "where [she] shops." Janet is often involved in fashion. I like that she thinks supervillains should pay attention to what labels she has been wearing.

But it's not Whirlwind; it's Enchantress and this is the beginning of the the Masters of Evil's plot... to attack Wasp while she is by herself, shopping. That's cold, guys. She's the littlest and the only woman. Plus she's busy. She tries to fight them all, because Jan is hardcover, but Zemo shoots her in the back. THE BACK! Like a coward. These guys really are evil!

At the Wakandan Embassy, Clint complains about how the Avengers are "a disaster." T'Challa's just chillin', muddling some herbs, while Clint rants. Clint slams Tony, Hank, Jan, Hulk and Thor for various reasons. T'Challa points out he didn't include Captain America (he kindly doesn't also say, "and me, I rock.")

We get to see T'Challa pull a prank on Clint. I'm sad now that we won't really see T'Challa interact with the other Avengers more. (He did remember Clint's name in Endgame, so that's something.) But here he tells Clint he just ate poison. For the lulz.

That's what he gets for shitting on T'Challa's teammates, man! Also, I think it shows that T'Challa likes Clint, weirdly? Because he smiles. And T'Challa rarely smiles. He's very stately. This is Wakandan male bonding, I guess.

Crimson Dynamo attacks Tony (who doesn't have his suit on).

Abomination and Enchantress send Hulk through a portal to the Frost Giant world (too lazy to look up spelling).

Wonder Man and Skurge knock out Captain America and use his ID card to call the other Avengers.

Thor is on a date with Jane. She looks so small next to him. It's adorable. So he is also rudely interrupted.

All of them show up to take on Thor. Which is smart. Clint's criticism for Thor was that he's "crazy" but he's not. He's just from a different place. Anyway, they get him too.

But T'Challa and Clint aren't stupid enough to walk into the Mansion without doing recon. Clint wants to go in hot, but T'Challa thinks innocent lives would be put in danger, and that they have to handle it, subtle-like.

I like how we get to see Avengers who aren't normally teamed up, like Clint and T'Challa, work together. They are both stealthy (Clint is a spy). So this is fun they can have together! Like how Hulk and Thor both enjoy punching things, sometimes each other.

Cap asks Zemo why he's doing this. The war was like 70 years ago, shouldn't he be over it by now? Zemo is not over it. His therapist must be terrible.

The rest of the episode is T'Challa and Clint being trickster bros and roasting the Masters of Evil. Zemo is worried about Ant-Man but he doesn't know there are two more Avengers, get with the times, Zemo!

T'Challa is proud to be an Avenger. Clint wants to do quips.

And they are both pleased with themselves because they get caught but they wanted to get caught because they also brought Ant-Man and Hank is there with a machine that makes Wonder Man go poof!

It's a slug fest after that. Somehow Thor brings Hulk back from the Frost Giants. I guess he can summon the Bifrost? But it looks like a regular portal. Anyone want to explain if Thor's hammer can do this?

This is our main team for season one. There are some more added in Season 2 and guest stars (next episode even), but this is the core group. So this is fun because it's (finally!) the first time we see all Avengers Assembled.

The Masters of Evil give up kind of quickly, and that makes it less fun of an episode than it could be. But it's only because they are going to be back towards the end of the season. So this is a prelude more than anything, especially to Clint's quips.

It is also our first glimpse at EMHU Loki! Though they don't say it's Loki. Enchantress talks to someone who is apparently behind the Masters of Evil.

... and, duh, it's Loki, guys. In his classic costume which is great and makes me think of Richard E. Grant.

Rating: Recommend

2, 19, 32, 34, 48 for the ask game!! :)))) or just any you wanna answer

Whew! Thank you @capadipdap and I hope you're prepping for the essays! 😩

2) What are you obsessed with right now? Chemistry. That one post about NileRed has launched me into his YouTube channels just watching so many videos. Brought me back to why I originally wanted a chem degree in undergrad. Psychology who? It's prompted me to practice balancing equations and doing organic nomenclature since it's been a while but just for the hell of it. I've been using the fact that I have to take psychopharmacology next semester as part of my cover but also totally living in my nerdiness openly. It's fun. I forgot how much chem used to be an interest/hobby. He's "made" gloves into hot sauce and broke down how I will not know peace.

19) If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to? Imma say it like... I wouldn't because I like my name, but I would if I wanted to. But I probably won't ever change it. Fun fact, my parents smashed their names together and added a y to get Casey the day I was born. So the meaning was always like a ship name before we found out it's Irish and I think that's special cuz they didn't know. But! I'd add a middle name and it'd be Celeste.

32) If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Gimme a Harvest Moon world omg. I was out there farming, gardening, making some shit. Building my house up. Spending time with neighbors and folks. Yeah yeah quests but I can just spend my day walking around if I wanted. Chillin bro. Animal Crossing for the same reason. Just add my friends in we're gonna go lay down at the beach no 9-5 no 6 streams of income thx

34) What's your coffee order? I don't get coffee super frequently so we gotta go by place, but the general rule of thumb is mocha and espress 😂 aight so we got:

Cafe ak lèt/ Cafe con leche (not that much leche) made with the Cafe Bustelo espresso one that I didn't even know was the espresso one or with Haitian coffee. Four tbsp of sugar if made at home, whatever amount the ppl give me at the place. The standard

Cafe Cubano from colada to cafecito. I will drink it straight. No I do not think the espresso has affected me severely over the course of my life. Matter of fact I'll fall asleep.

Dunkin: Mocha iced latte. The standard gay drink but mocha > vanilla, no hate to my girl vanilla though. Kept me up for 7 hr drives across the state. A real g for that

Starbucks: Double chocolate chip frappacinno with the chocolate syrup and whip cream and chocolate shavings etc etc etc. Love that. Don't get it often cuz Starbucks makes it too icy sometimes

Panera: That mocha espresso drink. I used to add extra shots of espresso cuz their regular coffee sucks and I worked open shift. I was sleepy in minutes.

48) Describe your ideal partner. Ahhh, this one. Look, I'm a simple man. All I ask is that they find me with their intentions pure, hearts full, and willing to put in the work to make a romantic relationship healthy 😔

jk of course I ask more than that (but those are also required). Fr Imma want someone who's been working on themselves, and communicate effectively, trusts, is honest, all that fun stuff to and fro. So basically: an open-minded person who is compatible with me and is a genuinely kind person with strong values, humor, and the independence and understanding for what it takes to be a partner in more than just the superficial and physiological levels.

Imma need someone who can handle me personality wise, career wise (directed at all those who falter at hearing that I'm studying to be a psychologist 😂). Plus I am spoiled, I am a spoiled brat. This is framed a warning because for some reason it's not believed when I say I'm the type to expect to have things paid for, planned, provided, gifted, etc. I do reciprocate because I was raised right, but the whole "50/50" thing that's been getting thrown around in the social media world doesn't with how I was raised either. I'm just not gonna be the one carrying everything just because I have a career and still get expected to do more with no actual division/balanced of roles. like it's not happening. We're grown ppl c'mon now (yes I can go deeper in that specifically but I don't play). Approach deities with offerings, thank you. I do prefer someone who falls within my cultures or related, like the African diaspora/Latino/Caribbean/Hispanic cuz of intercultural connection but I really don't mind. Have (verifiable) ambitions/career/goals. Gotta leave it all here cuz I can't put the whole play out on here; said a lot and nothing Oh height at 5'11" up 🧍🏿‍♀️ I'm a big girl okay. Out here 5'7" looking like a slightly smaller Stallion sooooooo it's almost a requirement but not but you get hella extra points

WHAT?? 😳

How?? I've had this acct only for a few months and I don't know where all of you came from like. I know the things I write don't reach too many people and I'm just someone who adds nsfw tags to reblogs so who are all you people? 😭 💙

I would do some kind of celebration request prompt list thing but I won't have time for that until later this month. maybe when I hit the next milestone I'll do a lil somethin'?

I literally created this acct so I could yearn over The Three Kings™ and then I started writing for them plus a couple others and then I met some of you beautiful peeps and now I'm 🥺💙

💙 tysm for continuously chillin' w me, y'all 💙

- M

Haikyuu Characters as Things My Friends And/Or I Have Said

(Cause I'm a basic bitch and this looked fun)

Kuroo: Ooh, yeah, man, I totally forgot to tell you earlier but in my past life I was really a terrorist. Sorry about that. [ continues to spin elaborate story about his life as a terrorist]

Bokuto: I knew it.

----------

Ukai Sr.: IN THIS LIFE ITS FUCK OR BE FUCKED

----------

Takeda: Alright guys, what's some examples of an inferior good?

Kageyama: Hinata

Hinata: wHAT

----------

Suga: That guy looks like his name is probably Chad

Daichi: Chad?

Suga: Yeah, you know like a stereotypical frat boy? Probably has a beach house in Cali he goes to in the summer? His parents are paying for everything? Probably a football player or lifts weights?

Daichi: Oh yeah lmao. *imitating the Chad* "All these bitches and hoes bro. All these bitches and hoes"

Suga, also imitating the Chad: "God Chelsea is such a bitch bro. Stupid cunt broke up with me because apparantly I "cheated" on her "again", "For the 3rd time". Whatever bro. Shes just a stupid whore anyway she'll be back no one can resist the Chadsters giant dick"

----------

Iwaizumi: When you say youre going to take the whole jello shot you have to take THE WHOLE JELLO SHOT! Not just take half and throw is away!

Oikawa: They're disgusting!

Iwaizumi: I know, just stop being such a baby and take the whole damn thing instead of wasting it! Plus it isn't as bad if you just swallow it, you get over it quicker. Or just dont take the next one if it's ThAt BaD. I'll eat it.

Oikawa: No! I'm not not taking one while everyone else is!

----------

Oikawa: GET DOWN! IWA-CHAN GET DOWN FROM THERE

Iwaizumi, sitting on top of a rock halfway up a mountain, drunk: Chill out I was just about to come down. I was just chillin by myself, listening to music for a minute cause I was all depressed n shit.

Oikawa: GET DOWN HERE. I SWEAR TO GOD OF YOUR DRUNK ASS FALLS AND CRACKS YOUR HEAD OPEN AND DIES-

Iwaizumi, climbing down: I'm coming, I'm coming Christ don't have an aneurysm. I climb these mountains all the time I know what I'm doing

Oikawa: WHY THE FUCK WHERE YOU ON TOP OF THAT ROCK ANYWAY YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING FOR "A SHORT WALK" YOU DONT CLIMB MOUNTAINS DRUNK DUMBASS

----------

*Bokuto and Akaashi pulling into a coffee shop drive through*

Bokuto, in the drivers seat: Oh yeah, I broke their chip reader once ha ha

Akaashi: What?

Bokuto: Yeah, I was spacing out really hard that day and they handed me the card reader so I could pay and all that and I dropped it

Akaashi: Oh my god

Bokuto: Yeah thats why they always hold on to the card reader while people are paying now

Bokuto: And we should probably switch seats so I dont have to pay

----------

Yachi: THIS REALLY CUTE GIRL JUST BOUGHT ME A COFFEE

Yachi: AHHHHHHHHH IM SO BLESSED

----------

Kuroo, after talking about how he would fuck a bitch up for laying a hand on his kids: I always think its funny when I tell people I'm messed up or have a really dark mind and they dont believe me.

Kenma: Oh trust me, I believe you. I encourage you.

----------

Tanaka: Yeah, Noya was riding on the roof of my car going down the old dirt highway and this absolute Karen stands in front of the car and stops us and is like "You kids shouldn't be doing that, it's not safe. I have no problems calling the cops if you dont quit"

Noya: Karen ass bitch. The old dude she was originally talking to was just laughing his ass off though. He was a G

----------

Noya: I went to a church food bank today and got asked if I was homeless

----------

Kiyoko: Well I guess if I die I die

----------

Oikawa: My mom thinks we're dating

Iwaizumi: Again? My mom thinks that too off and on but I've thoroughly assured her that I definitely could not handle you as anything more than a friend

Oikawa: What is that supposed to mean? Rude

----------

(That's all folks!)

Carly & Ali

Carly: heard from drew? Carly: long shot Ali: Ha, good one Carls Ali: God no Ali: he's AWOL? Carly: yea Carly: gimme calebs number? Carly: longer shot Ali: 'Course but doubt they're chillin' Ali: and he might act like saying his name invokes him to pop up like a demon but you know Ali: Have you spoken to Meena? Surely he's keeping her in the loop Carly: shes not picking up Carly: to me Carly: same as my mum and dad Ali: That's not like her, she's probably just busy, keep trying Ali: As for your 'rents, where have they gone? And why do you need Drew so urgent? Gah, sorry, so many questions Ali: Just go with this one, are you okay? Carly: ive been trying ages Carly: shes not on spanish time idk why she cant answer Carly: idk wot to do Carly: how do i get it to stop ?? Ali: Spain's only an hour ahead of us anyway, not an excuse Ali: I'm 8 hours ahead and I've managed Ali: get what to stop babe Carly: the crying Carly: i cant think Carly: its all it does Ali: You've had the baby Ali: how long ago? did you go to the hospital? you need to if you haven't, like now Carly: what Carly: why would i go there Carly: its over with Ali: Because you both need to be checked over Ali: its really important Ali: have you birthed the placenta? Is it all out? If not you could die Ali: Never mind if there's anything wrong with the baby Ali: Call a cab and give me your deets, I'll transfer the money now Carly: that alien shit Carly: yea Carly: it screams healthy Ali: that is a good sign but there could be something you're missing, maybe that's why its screaming? better safe than sorry, they're not allowed to ask you about shit unrelated, so if you're high, sober up and then go, yeah? Ali: When did you last do a feed? Have you been able to? They'll show you how, it can be tricky Carly: id scream if i was born here Carly: gonna be stuck Carly: sober up? i need more Carly: shit hurts dont need to tell you Ali: They'll give you stuff at the Hospital Ali: why do you think anyone goes? Ali: and fo free baby gurl! please Carly: i cant Carly: gotta be hear for when my mum rings back Carly: & drew might come Ali: Give me your mums number and I'll tell her where you are Ali: then she can ring the hospital and they'll let you know Ali: I bet Drew has a key, no? Ali: Leave a note Carly: he left it when he went Carly: threw it at me Ali: Oh bab Ali: I'm sorry Ali: but you gotta focus on you Ali: and the baby now Ali: Not him, he knows where you are Ali: I can text him if you want, or try to call Ali: I swear nothing bad will come out of it Carly: but its his Carly: and i am Carly: he should be here Ali: But he isn't Ali: maybe he'll come back but you gotta keep going 'til he does, alright? Carly: i need to find him Ali: Not right now Ali: next step Ali: he's not lost, he doesn't want to be found Ali: i know that's harsh but its the truth Ali: he'll come back when he's ready, alright? Carly: what about me Carly: im not ready Carly: he doesnt care Carly: why should i Ali: he cares about himself Ali: AT LEAST do that Ali: if you can't the baby then the people at the hospital will help with that too Ali: you can't just leave it Ali: boy or girl? Carly: its a girl Carly: another one Carly: hes gonna be mad Ali: I don't think he's salty about not having a male heir babe Ali: If you really won't go...I'll do my best to tell you what I know and I'll send you links Ali: we'll do our best health check and then you've got to try to feed her, yeah? Is that okay? Carly: mad that shes here Carly: i said i wasnt having one Carly: you want me to read? cant hear myself think Ali: But you were Ali: and if you were doing it without protection then he was fully aware it was a possibility Ali: I'll voice memo you then Ali: it'll stop the crying Carly: he says its not his Carly: maybe not Carly: idk Carly: its got blood on it but could look like him when thats gone Ali: He said that to me when it definitely was so kind of his go to Ali: but even if it isn't, doesn't mean he has to be a dick to you about it Ali: Its not right regardless Ali: Especially not when you're alone Carly: how do i make it sleep Carly: im tired Carly: should i sing? Ali: That might help yeah Ali: Skin to skin to, that's comforting Ali: Lemme break down how you feed it, yeah? Hold on Carly: i cant pick it up what if i drop it fuck no Carly: gotta stay where it is Ali: You won't Ali: its your baby, its safer with you than it is on the floor Ali: get a towel, that'll keep it warm and put it to your chest Ali: [Sends 38 sec video] okay, if that's easier this vid shows you how but I'm here to talk you through Carly: all the towels are wet Carly: it can have my tshirt thats warm Ali: Good idea, see Ali: you know what you're doing Ali: you've got this Carly: its too small Carly: i have to put it back down Carly: ill hurt it Carly: fuming about me coming near it Ali: She's just hungry and confused Ali: Understandable, right? Dunno about you but I'd be pretty fucked off too if I'd just been pushed out my nice comfy home of the last 9 months Ali: You'll be her best friend in my time at all Carly: id put it back if i could Carly: whyd you wanna do this 3 times Ali: 'Cos I'm a bossy bitch and I want underlings to do my bidding and I get to tell 'em what to do Ali: speaking of, time for your masterclass Ali: get her and get comfy on the sofa or your bed or wherever is bed Ali: best Carly: k Carly: shes heavy wtf Ali: That's good! You did a good job cooking her then Ali: and if she's a lil chunk, this should be easier Carly: shes small but im sleepy Ali: you can both take a snooze when this is done, usually conks 'em right out Ali: is your tiddy out? Carly: knew you fancied me Ali: you know Ali: getting in there while your defenses are down Carly: im single Carly: you too Ali: Lets do it mama Ali: cutest fam ever? i think so Carly: shes not cute like yours Carly: weird coloured thing Ali: she's probably covered in the gunk and pink from screaming her head off Ali: no ones finest hour i bet she's beautiful Carly: ill get it to take a selfie Ali: yay! get it on the nip 'cos i gotta see my boo too 😍 Ali: line her nose up with your nip, kinda tickle her top lip with it, she should open her mouth wide Ali: then you can shove it in Carly: done that before Carly: weird Carly: [Sends pic of tiny baby Indie] Carly: does she look like him idk Ali: Definitely Ali: Looks a bit like Edie Carly: ill send him the pic Carly: probs should take a better one Carly: how do i look? Ali: Like you've just given birth Ali: so a goddess Ali: but a knackered one Carly: youve got a fetish Carly: cant trust that Ali: me??? Ali: didn't impregnate myself Ali: look at Caleb! Carly: and drew Carly: wont see him Ali: Clearly its his thing too Ali: but he's more about the before than after yeah Ali: he can't stay away forever Ali: he wouldn't leave Meena Carly: youre smart Carly: if i go there he cant avoid me Ali: Exactly Ali: Camp out Ali: Ana will help you with the baby shit if you like Carly: why Carly: she doesnt know me Ali: Because she's a good person Ali: plus she's a social worker, it what she do Ali: and she knows Drew better than most, she raised him Ali: worth a shot Carly: shes not his mum Carly: but she can take this kid Ali: yeah she's better than Ali: is that what you want? Ali: she'll discuss it with you, make sure you both get what's best Carly: im not talking to her Carly: she can take it or not Ali: No one will just take her with no questions asked Carls Ali: for your welfare and the kids Carly: im not answering a social workers questions Ali: They're not entitled to judge you Ali: She won't Ali: and as far as drugs are concerned, if you want to give the baby up then literally none of their business at all after that Ali: and if you did decide to keep her then they work with you Ali: they're not gonna just shop you, it ain't like that Carly: make me go to rehab is how its like Carly: fuck no Ali: They can't make you Ali: there's no point Ali: you can only get sober if that's what you want Carly: my mum and dad'll make me Carly: i know theyre gonna Ali: well, where the fuck are they now? Ali: if they're so concerned about you they'd be here Ali: actually supporting you Carly: theyll come when they find out about her Carly: i never told them Ali: Good, I hope they do Ali: but how did that happen Ali: how could I see and they didn't Ali: or Drew Carly: they dont come back Carly: drew did see thats why he left Ali: yeah but they must talk to you Ali: your mum has obviously been there how did she not clock something being up Ali: and not soon enough in Drew's case Carly: i call them if i need money Carly: they gotta think its why im calling now Ali: When do they call you? Carly: if i call and they didnt pick up Carly: unless theyre busy Ali: I see Ali: how's she doing? done feeding? Carly: sleeping Carly: how are yours? Ali: best feeling ever, right? Ali: much the same, its late here Ali: I'm pulling an all-nighter lowkey, finishing up some work Carly: i miss junie Carly: whatever your on for it gimme some Ali: i'd be creepy and snap him sleeping but no doubt the flash would wake his highness Ali: he misses you too, i'll get him to facetime Carly: aw Carly: go work bitch Carly: i shouldnt kept you this long Ali: don't be daft Ali: queen of multitasking Ali: and not just junie who misses you is it Ali: #massiveLESBIANcrush Carly: my tits are gonna go down Carly: snap me up now Ali: Trying, like Ali: make it facebook official Ali: that'll get the lads attention ey Ali: why else do it Carly: yea Carly: my parents too probs Carly: lapsed catholics Ali: be on the next plane over to get you back on the dick like Ali: i'll get on it #longdistancelesbians Ali: my ex gonna be so mad Carly: mine too Carly: wtf am i gonna do Carly: I dont want him to be an ex Ali: even though he's fucked you over like this? Carly: i fucked him over first Carly: i lied Ali: not really Ali: if anything, you lied to yourself Ali: but you didn't wanna hear it, couldn't Ali: and that makes sense Carly: cant block it out any more Carly: fuck Ali: it gets really real really fast Ali: doesn't it Ali: but you have got this Ali: i've got you, however i can, yeah? Carly: i dont want it to be Carly: i dont want it Carly: i cant do this Ali: okay, that's okay too Ali: but she isn't going to just go Ali: whether it was getting an abortion earlier or what you have to do now Ali: you have to do something Ali: there's no quick fix for it Ali: ana can get you in touch with the right people who will make it as easy as they can for you and her Ali: or my mum Carly: if i leave her she'll get found Carly: why does nobody ever call me back wtf Ali: Yeah but they'll still try to find you Ali: or Drew Ali: and his DNA will be on the system so Ali: and I reckon if they got to him, he'd sell you out Ali: when's the last time you slept? Carly: idk Carly: what day is it Ali: Tuesday Carly: sunday Carly: saturday Carly: idk Ali: fuck girl Ali: you shoulda been banking up on it before Carly: ha Carly: easy fix Carly: need my dealer Ali: not if your gonna be breastfeeding Ali: unless he gonna bring formula too Carly: i can go myself for that Carly: get a car Ali: you getting enough cash in, yeah? Carly: ha no Carly: no student loans for this bitch Ali: you'll have to look into getting help with that Ali: there's funds and shit, i'll find out the info Ali: that or tap Drew up for child maintenance Carly: yea cos hes declaring his earnings Carly: i wish hed talk to me Ali: exactly, bribe him like Ali: he's got a lot to lose Carly: hed never forgive me Carly: i cant Ali: but you can forgive him for all he does? Ali: got it bad honey Carly: yea Carly: its fucked Ali: is there anything he could do to make you stop loving him Carly: idk Carly: why Ali: cos you'd be happier if you didn't Ali: right Ali: like, he treats you like shit Carly: i wasnt happy before Carly: & he hasnt this whole time Carly: it got bad Carly: me too Ali: but you could be Ali: you don't have to give up hope of ever being Ali: and he did for the majority of the time though, that should outweigh the good Carly: with what Carly: this kid Carly: im not you Ali: no Ali: of being happy Ali: with just you Ali: or someone else who treats you better Carly: i dont have a job or friends here and i live in a caravan Carly: not gonna happen Ali: you can get both Ali: you're cool Carly: ha Carly: youre dreaming Carly: fucked the allnighter Ali: i'm not the only one Ali: and why not? Carly: drew says im a junkie Ali: what does he know Ali: and anyway, functioning junkie Ali: shits possible Carly: he knows me Carly: he loved me til i fucked it Ali: you haven't DONE anything Ali: a baby happened to you BOTH Ali: you're both reacting, right or wrong now, whatever Ali: and he probably still does but Ali: love ain't always enough Carly: why are you my friend? Ali: I said, you're cool Ali: funny, smart, nice, you already know i fancy you so no need to kiss arse any more, yeah? Ali: you're SO friendable, babe Carly: shoulda fallen for you Ali: yeah well, the tragedy of being straight and feelings not following logic Ali: sometimes, you gotta fuck feelings tho, do right by yourself Carly: i dont feel anything when he isnt here Carly: nothing happens Carly: cept today Ali: make stuff happen Ali: its only chaos darling Carly: youre not here either Carly: what am i gonna make happen on my own Carly: this shit Carly: idk Ali: what do you wanna make happen Ali: anything, however unlikely you think it is Carly: i want him to come back Carly: my parents too Carly: but none of them are Ali: can't control other people nah but you can do all YOU can to make it happen Ali: what would make him come back? who would he wanna be with? and you can try to talk to your 'rents and tell them what is up...longshot but maybe they don't realise how shitty they're being Carly: they're not Carly: theyre busy Carly: and im not a kid Ali: busy with what? Ali: living it up in spain? Ali: they kept you, you're their kid for life Ali: they don't get to peace at 16, 18 whatever the fuck Carly: they didnt vanish Carly: i know where they are Ali: yeah but they should be here rn Ali: you need them Ali: maybe if you ask, when they answer, they will come back Ali: i'm not slagging on 'em, its just facts Carly: i dont want to go live in spain Carly: fact is theyll try and force me Ali: well, they can't make ya, tell them why you wanna stay here Ali: they could still be supportive Ali: even if they're not physically with you every day like Carly: they wont let me stay for him Ali: okay...make something more parent friendly up then Ali: what they don't know won't hurt 'em Carly: youre so smart Ali: so i've been told Ali: with varying levels of sarcasm Carly: yea Carly: same Ali: You are though Ali: One of the many reasons we get along Carly: youre such a mum Carly: bigging me up like Ali: s'what i do best right Ali: shoulda been a cheerleader, fucking irish schools not letting me shine Carly: thats what schools do best Carly: be shit Ali: true dat Ali: even if my uni is pretty swish Ali: and full of nerds like me Carly: looks it Ali: still, miss the homeland like Carly: switch places Carly: shes crying again what does she want this time Carly: headfuck Ali: think its a bit too early for her to have shat, maybe wee but Ali: probably wanting her next feed Ali: you do it roughly every 2 hours for the first month Carly: ffs Carly: howd you get anything done with 3 of them Ali: ask myself the same question Ali: luckily they're not all on the tit 'cos form an orderly queue lads Carly: not getting my tit out again Ali: its that or formula run to get her to stop crying Carly: i cant put her in the car Carly: she'd fall out Ali: that solves that then honey Ali: get 'em out get 'em out get 'em out Carly: perv Ali: 🤷 Ali: single mum, gotta get my kicks where i can yo Carly: get fucked Carly: not offering Carly: one of the nerds would be up for it Ali: no need to tell me Ali: desperation station Ali: bless 'em Carly: do you go to class with your shoulders and knees out Ali: its boiling here, not even trying to be a shameless hussy Ali: can't be swooning erryday, got places to be, shitty bums to wipe Carly: yea Carly: cant steal that excuse myself Ali: sadly not Ali: can use breastfeeding though Ali: you're just out here feeding ya kid, looking hot as a by-product, fight me world Carly: don't Carly: how is this happening Carly: im looking at her and idk Ali: i can't believe you did it all by yourself Ali: you're a right tough nut Ali: but you don't have to keep doing it alone Carly: but i have to do something Carly: wtf Ali: yeah, keep both of yas alive until you figure out your next step Carly: make it sound simple Ali: 'course Ali: i'll allow you some melodrama but i can't claim hormones as hard Carly: u can Carly: and homesickness Ali: alright, lets have a good sob Carly: this kids done enough Carly: has you beat bitch Ali: rude Ali: already winning fresh out the womb Carly: what you naming it Carly: said you would Ali: you're serious? Carly: idc Ali: probs think on that a bit longer, whether you wanna name her or nah Ali: but my lists be ready don't fret Carly: k