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oddarin · 4 years

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It is one of the most meaningless thing I’ve done in time - all least-to-most ranks and just characters’ fact answers (those that with no pictures) from oficial Ask Arcana gathered in one place. Have no idea what that information could be used for and if it even useful but it kept me occupied and distracted from some life shit for a while, so let it be.

who is most to least likely to enjoy the movie Frozen? Lucio, Portia, Julian, Asra, Muriel, Nadia

Out of the cast, who is the most to least likely to be the jealous type? Portia, Lucio, Muriel & Nadia (tied), Julian, Asra

would you like to rank the characters from who cries most to least ugly? like from sniveling to shoujo manga tears? Muriel, Lucio, Julian, Portia, Asra, Nadia

who is the most to least superstitious Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Muriel

most to least excited to be at a WWE event Portia, Lucio, Asra, Julian, Nadia, Muriel

From worst to best at handling children Nadia, Lucio, Muriel, Asra, Portia, Julian

From worst to best for alcohol tolerance Muriel, Asra, Lucio, Julian, Portia, Nadia

Character ranking from best at keeping secrets to loose-liped gossip? Asra, Muriel, Nadia, Lucio, Portia, Julian

best to worst dancers? Asra, Portia, Julian, Nadia, Lucio, Muriel

Most to Least likely to slap you for stealing a mcnugget Nadia, Lucio, Asra, Portia, Julian, Muriel

Least to most likely to eat something weird (read: probably shouldn't be eaten) because of a dare? Nadia, Julian, Muriel, Lucio, Portia, Asra and not even on a dare

how old are each of the revealed characters? everyone is old, but in order of least old to most old: Asra, Portia, Muriel, Julian, Lucio, Nadia

Who's the best kisser? Who's the worst? Best kisser: Faust (good snake smooches) Worst kissers: Mercedes and Melchior (too much cronch)

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If the main 6 played MTG what color decks would they play? Asra: Blue Nadia: White Julian: Black (Portia made his for him) Portia: White/Green Muriel: Green Lucio: Red

How did cast look as babies? Nadia: The best baby, perfect in form and function Asra: A cute baby, always looking around Julian: Not the most handsome baby, a little gangly Portia: Round, squealing delightful baby Lucio: Red-faced screaming awful baby Muriel: Sturdy and well insulated for the long winter

Of the main six characters, which ones are capable of juggling and which ones would absolutely love doing needlepoint? capable of juggling: Portia, Asra, Muriel absolutely love doing needlepoint: Nadia, Julian incapable of juggling/ absolutely hate doing needlepoint: Lucio

what would the cast choose as their job in the mmo final Fantasy XIV? Julian: Dragoon Asra: Astrologian Lucio: Ninja, but he messes up the mudras Nadia: Machinist Portia: Summoner Muriel: Paladin

What would be the favorite attractions/rides of the cast at Disney? Julian: Pirates of the Caribbean Asra: Astro Orbiter Lucio: Tower of Terror (RIP) Muriel: Matterhorn Portia: California Screamin' Nadia: Carousel of Progress

What do the rest of the cast smell like? Nadia: Les Larmes Sacree Du Thebes by Baccarat Asra: Lord of Misrule Lush Shower Cream Julian: Leather seats in a rental car Portia: Cocoa butter and laundry soap Lucio: Fireball, Axe body spray & ass Muriel: myrrh

What board game would The Arcana gang be? Nadia: Clue Asra: Twister Julian: Sorry! Portia: Mouse Trap Lucio: Monopoly Muriel: Guess Who

Who do all the cast main in over watch? Nadia: Ana Asra: Sombra Julian: Reaper Portia: Zarya Muriel: Bastion Lucio: Genji

If everyone participated in a Winter Olympic sport, which one would they be in? Nadia: figure skate (singles) Asra: snowboarding Julian: alpine ski Portia: freestyle ski Muriel: luge Lucio: ice hockey

Main casts Starbucks orders? Julian: Black coffee and he flirts with the barista until it’s ready. Nadia: London Fog Latte. She comes in at exactly 8 every morning. Asra: Matcha latte unless there’s a new radioactive-looking Frappuccino flavor and then he gets that. Muriel: Waiting outside in the car, asks Asra to get him a water. Asra comes back with a hot chocolate and a cake pop. Muriel grumbles but accepts them every time. Lucio: Salted Caramel Mocha extra whip extra sprinkles nonfat no foam soy upside down actually coconut milk instead and then he yells at you if you get it wrong. Portia: Pink Drink and all the baristas get excited when she walks in because they love her and she always tips.

The cast as Kanye songs Nadia: Power Lucio: No Church in the Wild Asra: Love Lockdown Julian: Heartless Portia: Paranoid Muriel: Coldest Winter

Which characters would be in the fire, water, earth, and air nations? Slightly different from what you asked, but: Asra - waterbender Nadia - airbender Julian & Portia - non-benders Muriel - Earthbender Lucio - Firebender

What kind of parents are the cast at their child’s soccer game? Nadia: standing on the sidelines in sunglasses and heels biting her thumbnail and watching every move on the field because she doesnt trust the ref Asra: cheers whenever anything happens, takes as many kids as can fit in the car out for ice cream but doesn’t check with the parents Julian: chats up the other parents relentlessly and isn’t watching when his kid gets hit in the face with the ball Portia: “cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon cmon AW WHAT WAS THAT” Muriel: watching from the parking lot inside the car Lucio: yelling on the phone the whole time, spills all 24 oz of his salted caramel mocha on the bench and doesn’t do anything about it

Which Disney movie is the favorite of each of the cast? Nadia: Fantasia 2000 Asra: The Emperor’s New Groove Julian: Muppet Treasure Island Portia: Muppet Treasure Island Muriel: The Fox and the Hound Lucio: Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True

what kind of youtube channel would each character have (letsplay, cooking, craft, etc)? Asra: very unstructured mostly-cooking channel that also features videos of him just eating weird things, and videos of Faust existing and being cute Nadia: beauty guru with very polished high-end editing Julian: doesn’t know how to use youtube but Portia made an account for him and uploads her shaky/blurry phone videos of his jazz performances Portia: likes and comments on all of Nadia’s videos while occasionally posting cute cat vids Muriel: does not have an internet connection Lucio: extremely loud letsplayer, mostly FPS

What would the cast be as animal crossing villagers? Muriel: Cranky Bear Julian: Smug Eagle Portia: Uchi Cat Nadia: Snooty Ostrich Asra: Lazy Wolf Lucio: Jock Goat

What Fire Emblem Fates' classes would each character be? Asra - Diviner Nadia - Priestess Julian - Adventurer Portia - Maid Muriel - Wolfskin Lucio - Berserker

if the arcana cast were naruto characters, which ones would they be Portia: Naruto Muriel: Gaara Lucio: Orochimaru Julian: Itachi Asra: Kakashi Nadia: Fancy Shikamaru

If the characters of arcana watched rupaul's drag race who would be their faves? Nadia: bebe, raja, peppermint Asra: yara, aja, adore Julian: nina bo’nina, sasha, raven Portia: chichi, bob, ginger Lucio: willam, kimora, mimi imfurst Muriel: Latrice Royale

WHAT ARE THE CHARAS PREFERRED FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? Nadia: Lavender Lemon Asra: Rainbow Sorbet Julian: Pistachio Portia: Cookie Dough Muriel: Rocky Road Lucio: Red Velvet

Please please arcana cast as mcr songs Lucio: It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish Julian: Thank You For The Venom Asra: Welcome To The Black Parade Muriel: House of Wolves Nadia: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison Portia: Give Em Hell Kid

What are the characters going to be for Halloween? Asra - glow-in-the-dark mermaid Nadia - [elegant ballgown interpretation of] a swan Julian - tortured vampire/werewolf hybrid Muriel - sheet ghost Portia - ninja turtle Lucio - slutty angel Faust - a very long hot dog

If you had to assign the characters from the Arcana to characters from Labyrinth who would they be? Nadia: Jareth Asra: Sara Julian: Sir Didymus Portia: Hoggle Muriel: Ludo Lucio: The Chilly Down birds

What's each character's favourite fruits? Nadia: Concord Grape Asra: Blue Raspberry Julian: Fig Portia: Banana Muriel: Lemon Lucio: Pomegranate

what's everyone's favorite season? Asra - spring Nadia - summer Julian - autumn Muriel - winter Portia - spring Lucio - summer

Who would the Arcana cast be in a cliche Noir Film? Nadia: boss with kinetic ball bearing desk ornament and brandy in the drawer Asra: first love turned old flame that you run into halfway around the world Julian: haggard scientist with an unbuttoned shirt scribbling on the walls Portia: wisecracking secretary who takes a bus a train and a ferry to work Muriel: ominous farmer that lets people use the phone after a car breaks down Lucio: raging starlet shattering a vase after being blacklisted by every studio

The Arcana cast as Michael Jackson songs? Nadia: Man in the Mirror Asra: You Are Not Alone Julian: Smooth Criminal Portia: Will You Be There Muriel: Ben Lucio: Bad

What would each character be in cats? This probably wasn’t supposed to be Cats the musical but if you think i’m gonna pass this up Nadia: None they’re all awful/ Munkustrap Asra: Mister Mistoffelees Julian: Macavity Portia: Jennyanydots Lucio: Rum Tum Tugger Muriel: Grizabella

what would their favorite emojis be? Asra: 🌚 Nadia: 🍷 Julian: 🎷 Portia: 👀 Muriel: 👁 Lucio: 💃💸😏👑

What panic at the disco songs describe each character best? Julian: Death of a Bachelor Asra: I Write Sins Not Tragedies Portia: She’s a Handsome Woman Nadia: Northern Downpour Lucio: Victorious Muriel: From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins

What stereotypes for a super cliché highschool do the characters fall into? Nadia: Valedictorian who has been doing independent study and hasn’t set foot in the building for the past two years Asra: Shows up late every class with loud ass Sunchips, does homework in glow in the dark gel pen Julian: Eats lunch with his teacher so they can keep talking about mitochondria Portia: Gets really hype about dances, always ends up fighting at dances Muriel: Puts away all the folding chairs that everyone left behind Lucio: Gets on the intercom to talk shit about the teacher who gave him a D+ on his plagiarized essay

What sports would the characters play? And would they be any good at those sports? Muriel: Any solitary sport. He likes track and shotput. Nadia: Swimming. She isn’t on a team, she just likes the water. Portia: Wrestling. She’s got a few championship belts. Julian: Grandma Devorak forced him to take One Sport in high school, and he chose long-distance running. Asra: Beach volleyball and snowboarding. He’s just there to have a good time. Lucio: Ice hockey, but he spends it mostly punching other players.

what dragons from books/movies/games match each character best, would you say? As for dragons, one of our writers plays Flight Rising obsessively so here’s every character as a Flight Rising breed. Asra: Fae Nadia: Imperial Lucio: Wildclaw Muriel: Guardian Julian: Skydancer Portia: Snapper

What is each character most likely to do with the mc when they're feeling 'unusually affectionate'? Nadia: feed them champagne grapes and engage them in conversation so she can watch them try to talk with their mouth full Asra: stare at them and stop acknowledging anyone or anything else Julian: preen and spoil them to the point of being a public embarrassment Portia: constant cuddly contact Muriel: follow them at a respectable distance Lucio: belt out an aria at the sight of them

What's everyone favorite manga if they read any in this world? Nadia: Rose of Versailles Asra: Yugioh Julian: Blackjack Portia: Ranma ½ Muriel: Hunter x Hunter Lucio: Berserk

how much does faust like all the characters? like, who does she like the most/least? does she like the main character at all? Faust adores the main character almost as much as she loves Asra. But if she had to choose from the rest: Most good smelling: Nadia Most fun to squeeze: Julian Most too big to eat: Muriel Most hard to hide from: Portia Most attackable: Lucio

what kind of drunk is everybody? Nadia: capable, professional drunk on the move. Never in the same room twice Asra: touchy-feely but won’t leave the couch, still somehow manages to catch on fire Julian: morphs into The Storyteller, everyone in earshot ends up caught in a dramatic reenactment of his life story waiting for him to take a breath but he never does Portia: makes 6 new friends in the bathroom line Muriel: moody, talks to no one, keeps taking everybody’s empty bottles out to the trash Lucio: the loudest, the drama, the legend, the first to dip out when the cops show up

Of the Characters: Who tells a dirty joke? Who doesn't understand it? Who is disgusted? Who laughs? Who hides a smile? Who gets annoyed? Lucio: tells a dirty joke Muriel: doesn’t understand it Julian: is disgusted Asra: laughs Portia: hides a smile Nadia: gets annoyed

What are the characters usual reactions when subbing their toes? Nadia: It Does Not Happen Asra: hops it off Julian: hissing, closes his eyes while he savors the pain Portia: (string of curses) “ok………. i’m fine” Muriel: doesn’t notice because his toes are too far away Lucio: shrieks, revenge kicks the wall, shrieks harder

what you think everyones deadly sin would be? the deadly cliches: Nadia - Pride Asra - Lust Julian - Wrath Portia - Envy Muriel - Sloth Lucio - Gluttony

On a scale of good to bad, who sings karaoke? Nadia has a silky voice with impeccable vibrato. But she only sings karaoke alone in the bath. Asra has an airy, intimate voice. He’s the worst at karaoke because he doesn’t even get up off the couch. Julian has very limited singing ability, but he will talk sing the whole way through if he has to. He’s great at duets, somehow. Portia has a throaty, powerful voice. She brings the house down with Heart and Bonnie Tyler ballads, even if she squeaks on the high notes. Muriel has a gravelly grumble that he is convinced is useless for singing and if you hand him the microphone he’ll drop it and go stand in the corner. Lucio has an overdone musical theater voice but he is tone deaf. He will shout out the high notes and power through the rest and if you try to skip his song there will be hell to pay

which social media platform which each character Prefer™ ? Asra - twitter (RTs a lot of memes and shitposts, posts incomprehensible dril-like tweets at 3am) Nadia - instagram (flawless makeup and aesthetic™) Julian - yahoo answers Portia - snapchat Muriel - what is social media Lucio - LinkedIn (you will NEVER stop getting email notifications from him)

what dnd classes would the cast be (like mage, assassin, cleric etc)? Nadia: Paladin Asra: Warlock Julian: Rogue Portia: Bard Muriel: Fighter Lucio: Barbarian

what would each characters spice girl name be Asra: Mystery Spice Nadia: Boss Spice Julian: Suffering Spice Portia: Sassy Spice Muriel: Surly Spice Lucio: Spicy Spice

how complicated is each character's personal hygiene routine? Nadia’s personal hygiene routine: an exact science and takes a practiced team of servants to execute. Julian’s personal hygiene routine: splashing his face 5-7 times and gargling with his famous mint vodka peroxide formula Asra’s personal hygiene routine: sticking his head underwater until he’s awake Portia’s personal hygiene routine: putting her hair in a bun and scrubbing herself with a cloth and bucket down by the frog pond Lucio’s personal hygiene routine: milk and caviar bath every 13 hours Muriel’s personal hygiene routine: standing in the pouring rain

What's everyone's favorite alcoholic drinks? Asra - St Germain, tequila, blue curaçao, lime juice, hibiscus syrup (serve in a champagne flute or martini glass, garnished with a wildflower or tiny umbrella) Julian - whiskey, Kahlua, Grand Marnier, lemon juice (serve in a highball glass) Nadia - Chambord, white wine, seltzer (serve in a wine glass, chilled or on the rocks) Portia - beer & apple cider with a shot of rum (serve in a lowball glass) Muriel - Baileys, butterscotch schnapps, hot chocolate (serve warm, in your coziest mug) Lucio - Jägermeister & Goldschläger topped with overproof rum (serve as a flaming shot)

what would be each of the characters' favorite genre of music? Asra: Bossa Nova and EDM Nadia: Obscure Opera and Calming beach sounds Julian: 20 minute tracks of Quality Jazz Portia: Reggae and dad rock Muriel: New wave and white noise Lucio: Top 40 and Dark Funky Disco

who would the arcana characters be from mean girls?? Asra: the guy who asked what day it was Nadia: cady Julian: gretchen weiners Portia: janis Lucio: regina george Muriel: damian

Which Hogwarts house would each of the Main Cast belong in? Asra & Julian - Ravenclaw Nadia - Slytherin Portia & Muriel - Hufflepuff Lucio - Gryffindor

What would the characters modern!au job/career of choice be? Lucio owns and manages several nightclubs and has a trashy daytime talk show Asra does really low-budget magic shows at kids’ birthday parties by day, and DJs at one of Lucio’s clubs at night Nadia is the city mayor, an international chess champion, and concert pianist Portia works at Home Depot (used to be a waitress at Red Lobster but the tips were terrible), but she wants to be a zookeeper Julian is a doctor at an underfunded hospital with lots of drama Muriel lives off the grid in a broken-down van in the woods

Just due to mild curiosity what would be the casts favorite musicals? Asra - Legally Blonde: The Musical Nadia - Chicago Julian - Les Mis Muriel - Wicked Portia - Cats! Lucio - Phantom of the Opera / Kinky Boots (it’s a tie)

what cryptid is every character Asra = Chupacabra Julian = Mothman Nadia = Nessie Portia = Loveland Frog Muriel = Bigfoot Lucio = Jersey Devil

how would the game's characters celebrate the MC's birthday with them?? Asra would take them on a long journey without telling them where they were going (but would keep them entertained with riddles) to a scenic oasis, where he would pretend to drown so MC has to dive into the water and at the bottom is a magic flute that can summon a swarm of bees (their favorite!) Nadia would throw a tastefully brief festival in their honor. MC would be lavished with pampering (by professional pamperers) from dawn to dusk and when the clock struck midnight, they would be presented with seven bejeweled eagles (one for every day of the week) Julian would meet them for dinner in a shady tavern, bring them heaping plates of food and offer unsolicited advice for the coming year. About halfway through the meal he would have to scramble out the back door because law enforcement arrived on the scene but he’d put it an order in the kitchen to bring them something for dessert Lucio would declare the day a holiday and call it Day of the Beloved One of Lucio. They would have to sit uncomfortably still while a master artiste painted their portrait and a mile-long line of peasants laid gifts at their feet. Muriel doesn’t celebrate birthdays because time is a human construct Portia would throw a big loud party with a barbecue :D

Since it is soon, what would the characters do for Valentines day with us (the MC)? Nadia would take you on an elegant river cruise stocked with 130 varieties of tiny cake and a private crooner hired to serenade you but she would end up throwing them overboard for not hitting the high notes Asra would take you to the mall and splurge on all the stuff you both can’t afford but wait way too long to get lunch so you get into a fight and he proposes in the food court Julian would show up on the 15th after with all the candy he scored at 75% off, pretend it was on purpose that he got the day wrong, and wake you up at 3 am to come clean because the guilt was eating him alive Muriel would light some scented candles, cook up a sensual meal and throw a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace for you to enjoy alone while he escapes into the woods Portia would pack a picnic of chicken and tortilla chips, take you to the beach where you could splash around until the sun goes down and lull you to sleep on the sandy blanket with her acoustic guitar Lucio would have servants fill your room with floor to ceiling flowers while you sleep and wait impatiently for you to wake up like

Would you roommate with any of the characters? it’s hard to decide, so here are some pros and cons Asra - pro: never home / con: leaves dishes in the sink for weeks Nadia - pro: your home will be spotless / con: it’s spotless because she orders you to clean it for her Julian - pro: medical professional / con: half of your apartment is now this

rate the characters on how #extra they are Muriel: 4/10 Lucio: 13/10 Everyone else: 10/10

Which character could be best described as "tender"?? "Spicy"??? “tender”: Muriel “tender”/“Spicy”: Asra, Portia “Spicy”/”tender”: Julian, Nadia “Spicy”: Lucio

what the favorite Pokemon of all the characters were. Asra - Ekans, Delphox, Espeon Nadia - Noctowl, Gardevoir, Musharna Julian - Absol, Bisharp, Murkrow Portia - Chansey, Politoed, Hoothoot Muriel - Pangoro, Aggron, Wigglytuff Lucio - Houndoom, Pyroar, Skarmory

#what I spend my life on #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #nadia satrinava #julian devorak #muriel #portia devorak #count lucio #asra the magician #the arcana muriel #ask arcana #I just like to organize information too much

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homosexualadventure · 4 years

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every single lmam song, ranked.

i just finished listening to let’s make a music for the first time, and Oh My God it rocks. it’s a great podcast and if you’re reading this without having listened to it...i don’t know what to tell you. i don’t know what you think lmam means. but, that aside, if you haven’t listened to it yet: go listen to it! it’s not a crazy long podcast, overall or episode length-wise, so it’s manageable even for people who usually can’t handle podcasts (like me!) anyways, now that it’s over, what’s left for me to do with my time and energy that i used to spend thinking about lmam?

listen to the episodes again so that i can rank all fourty-one songs from worst to best, of course. so that’s exactly what i did.

i mostly ranked these on my gut feeling, because i didn’t come up with the idea of ranking it on a set of points before like...five minutes ago. there’s a bit of personal bias in here, so if you disagree with me on rankings, hey! send me an ask, or a dm. we can talk about it.

so, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it! let’s...make a ranking. haha. that’s just a fun little lmam joke for you.

41. the roquefort stank

this song only gets points for laura’s stanky noises in the background. i love laura.

40. shan’t he shanty

weirdly catchy. for a sea shanty, that is. that’s all i have to say.

39. well, i’m on child...

i do love a good gay song about polyamory but it just wasn’t enough in this case. truly heartbreaking.

38. dog trash

i’m not a big fan of polka in general. that’s all i have to say. i don’t have to explain all my decisions. this is my journey. and it’s your journey that you’re taking with me.

37. echoes of wednesday

it’s not my favorite but i do think it’s sweet and i like all the laura vocals. also the zuko vocals.

36. brothers in legs

not their best character song but it’s still a song you could quietly headbang to. i just don’t love full story ballads (there is an exception to this, you’ll see) most of the time.

35. ol’ tim’s tricks

i’m not saying it’s a bad song, i’m just saying it sounds like it was once in a made for tv disney channel-esque movie about a girl who finds her calling in sports and friendship.

34. don’t give me that altitude

very queen-esque with general 80s vibes and i like that.

33. dreamless

if it was longer i think it would be a lot higher on the list, because it’s Good. but i don’t feel right putting a 45 second song above, like, tobie’s razor. still! i love the mellow, kind of sad and eerie tones of it.

32. holiday crime!

look i know this one’s fairly low on the list, hear me out: it’s a good song and it’s pretty memorable as well! but as far as holiday songs go, i don’t think it’s their best or most iconic one. laura’s laughing and beat in the back is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming, though.

31. mr. dad

this one gets a higher rating than the previous holiday song for its good good harmonica and because when i heard the lyrics “but you love to watch him go” used to describe mr. dad i almost toppled my chair backwards with me still in it.

30. mourning ritual

the biggest load of 1980s bullshit i’ve ever heard in this decade. somehow it’s also got a big panic! at the disco vibe and i’m not sure how i feel about it but it’s definitely Strongly There and i can’t deny it.

29. outback sadhouse

it’s RIDICULOUS how well they nailed the sufjan stevens vibe with this one. plus the restaurant dialogue bit in the back of the song really adds a lot.

28. let down my better dynamite

it’s really easy to bop to and the instrumental in the background is FANTASTIC! jonah really killed it with this one. plus they talk a lot about rats in the episode which is nice for me because i love rats. also it’s the first episode with an instance of “brian does a bit”.

27. the tale of the greazzy creek

i just think it absolutely nails the vibe of a rural campfire grizzled old cowboy song while also being a really catchy theme song. like, i think you could’ve snuck it into holes (2003) and i would’ve been like, yeah, that sounds right.

26. turn around and come down slowly

not one of their more iconic songs but brian’s voice is so pretty in this and it’s really soothing.

25. ratless randy’s

i don’t know why it’s this high on the list either, but it is. ratless randy’s really IS the place to be, guys.

24. tobie’s razor

i will be honest. when i saw the title for this episode for the first time i just thought “occam’s razor” and as i type this i can’t even think of what that actually is, so..... anyways, i’d say this song absolutely NAILS the vibe but i have no idea what vibe it’s even remotely related to. certainly does nail the internal childhood monologue though. i think this song is the first one where they really started hitting their stride, also. not that it’s better than some of the earlier ones, but this one forward their songs were pretty consistently high quality. plus, and no one will be surprised by this by now, it gets extra points for laura.

23. armoire of royals

it’s weird, it’s synthy, has a vaguely billie eilish-esque part near the end which is not necessarily a point in favor depending on your taste but it Definitely is surprising and cool, and it’s got fake british accents. what more do you need out of a song?

22. sybil’s night scare

the piano in this is perfect and fantastic and the comedic timing in the song is just right. jonah’s delivery of “they’re actually real human eyes” is so goddamn good and his singing is Also great and frankly i think we can all agree we’re fucking tired of him saying he can’t sing. i mean, i assume (i fucking hope) he’s stopped saying that by now considering he had the majority of vocals on silo by a bit but Still. it’s a good peppy halloween-y song.

21. chalice for your thoughts

two spooky songs in a row! honestly, i’m not sure what reasons i have for ranking this song as high as i did. i just like it a lot. they were able to include a lot of weird twitter suggestions fairly seamlessly, and it’s just soft and pretty. spooky, but still pretty.

20. 21st blitheday

i admit it: i fucking hate the voice brian uses in this. but i really, really like the song. the beat’s very good and somehow brian still manages to sing the chorus well and make it sound nice even though his affectation is Stupid as hell <3 the background whistling is nice and his robot voice, which he’s used for several of his videos but i think most notoriously for scrundler in his week in revue series (here), is also featured. it’s a real bop, i think.

19. monday night boomball

i genuinely think this is their weirdest song, ever. it’s incomprehensible and it’s so fucking theatre kid of them, and it’s dumb as shit but it’s really funny and enjoyable and strange and i love it.

18. gentle light

this is a really good song. it’s not weird or funny, it’s genuinely just a really soft, calming, normal song. i can’t in good conscience rank it above the others for this reason, because it’s easier to make a regular song good than it is for a song about fucking a tree, but i want to be clear: i really love this song. it’s a song that you could fall asleep to, cry to, cuddle up in a blanket to, whatever the hell you want to do to it.

17. proud egg mouth

extra points for fitting the word “maw” in any kind of song, a feat i’m not sure anyone else has ever accomplished. also for brian actually singing with an egg in his mouth.

16. you can take that to the bank

brian does an incredible randy newman impression and i love him for it. also it’s just a good song! it’s not my favorite but it’s very pleasing to my ears and it’s well made.

15. rainbow trout eggs

i listened to a shit ton of colbie caillat in middle school and i can tell you with confidence that the lyrics “i feel so alive and i know that i’m happy na na na na na hey hey” would be in one of her songs. it’s a good song with completely ridiculous lyrics and it’s a better character/full story ballad than their previous ones, in my opinion. which is what you’re specifically here for!

14. car mitzvah

i think this is a song my dad would listen to if it came on the radio. i also think it deserves to be in an early 90s or maybe coming of age movie. brian’s vocals are fantastic in this, also.

13. dr. brims

“it’s a new year, Ha Hah!” this song is sooooo fucking funny and exemplary of a lot of their other songs that came afterwards. i’ve been saying that a lot i think. writing reviews is hard.

12. let’s make a music (theme song)

maybe it’s the emotional value of this song being the song i associate most with the podcast, since it’s the theme song, or maybe it’s just really good. (spoiler: it’s both but mostly the second one) the episode is also really funny in general and if you’re new to the podcast and don’t care about order, i highly recommend this one first!

11. heartbreak in michael’s

a very very very good sad gay love song and i recommend it to the ends of the earth! because this is the internet, and i can!

10. arbor day!

you try making a horny song about deforestation.

9. why don’t you like our song title?

such a fucking bop and showcases their skill for just doing whatever the hell they want and STILL making a fantastic song or video or whatever. they just stop saying words in it and it does not take anything away from the song. could you do that? i mean...maybe! but for the sake of this review and my point i’m gonna be like fuck you no you couldn’t. moving on.

8. akimbo

the backing track in this is ABSOLUTELY what makes the song. plus that one video of brian strutting but technically that can’t affect my review of the song because Technically it’s not part of the song. anyways it’s really peppy and fun and enjoyable and Good.

7. heartbreak in michael’s (reprise)

it’s the perfect finale song. like, it genuinely sounds like the song that plays at the end of a romcom after everything’s finally worked out. i Did cry when i heard brian sing the theme song at the end but that’s just because i’m a sentimental son of a bitch. so besides that ending bit that i can(’t) guarantee will make you tear up at Least, it’s really fucking fun! it’s upbeat and happy and i think they made the right song to go out on. or to go on a hiatus on, if brian’s website is to be believed. i don’t believe it, but hypothetically, y’know? hypothetically...

6. debutaunt ball

if the met gala doesn’t make this their theme song i will personally burn next year’s event to the ground, i swear to god. also it’s a good song to show off both jonah and brian’s range. it’s not like a lot of their other songs but it’s SUCH a banger and i adore it.

5. madame zamporium’s wax emporium

fuck yeah. learning that the “ooh come on baby” from several unraveleds came from a let’s make a music is the reason i finally started listening to the podcast in the first place. but BESIDES that, since that’s not a reason for my ranking (just a fun little fact about me!), this song slaps a ridiculous amount. they went insanely hard and it’s the first song they made that really sets the tone of the podcast, which is: great comedy, great high production music.

4. alan rickman’s edible zoo

GOD! the anti-celebrity, anti-capitalist rock song i’ve been waiting all my fucking life for! also it’s anti-america but only in one lyric. but in Another sense....throughout the whole song. PLUS, and most importantly, it features jonah’s literally and i mean LITERALLY impeccable alan rickman impression. like, it’s fucking bulletproof. alan rickman was in the goddamn room.

3. horsecar!

look. when this song started playing for the first time i went...fuck no. in general i don’t tolerate country or cowboy songs very well because they just don’t sound appealing to my ears most of the time. i put up with country road only because of a funny mario edit someone made of it and now the original song has more value to me. this is relevant only because the same thing happened with horsecar! in that the chorus KICKS ASS. i may make a post on just my favorite lmam songs and also this is already a crazy long post so i won’t go into it too much but i will say this. the shock value of going from the first verse in this song to the chorus is...........Incredibly high and it Works So Fucking Well! it literally makes the song. and not even just for the short term value of Oh My God That’s A Twist, it lasts through the whole song. i’m listening to the song as i type this and i’m currently at the country/cowboy part and i don’t hate it because i know the chorus is incredible. in fact, i’d argue that the chorus on its own may be the best thing lmam ever made, even better than my two actual favorite songs of theirs. i’m definitely going to have to make a full post on this. (SIDE NOTE: BRIAN’S VOCALS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND HORSECAR! IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS. his goddamn RANGE!! SIR!!! his falsetto is literally ridiculous my pants are OFF)

2. dragon me to this wedding

this is what i meant when i said there’s an exception to the “i’m not generally a fan of full story ballads”, because this is one of my all time favorite lmam songs. as in, it’s in the top three. which i guess you can tell from it being number two in the top three. in fact, it’s probably one of my favorite songs in general. the first time i listened to the episode i went back and listened to the song again three times in a row, and all three times i cried real tears. it’s GAY it’s REALLY PRETTY and i LOVE IT.

1. save 2 4 tony

so we’ve finally made it to my all-time favorite lmam song. maybe it’s that i recently graduated myself and so this song hits a little harder, but it also just GOES hard. i genuinely think they peaked when they recorded this. it’s one of those bdg songs where you’re listening to it, you’re just chilling, and it’s like “yeah wow this is nice!” and all of a sudden he hits a falsetto and you go “oh FUCK that guy can SING!” literally his vocals in this are incredible and it’s very fun (and on brand) that the Oh Fuck moment here is the line “tony hawk babeyyy!” plus jonah killed it on the backing and composition and everything. it’s the best let’s make a music song and i won’t take constructive criticism.

#i fucking LOVE lmam and once i finished it i knewwww i was gonna make this.#brosephs if anybody would like to talk to me about lmam my inbox and dms are always open!#i've never said brosephs before. out loud or in written form. it's a year of trying new things i guess #this took quite a bit of time. which is like. thank god i've needed a project for so long sfdfsd #lmam #let's make a music #brian david gilbert #laura kathryn gilbert #jonah scott #f.txt #bdg

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #374

“doctor, doctor, won’t you please prescribe me something? / a day in the life of someone else...”

Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? No. Who do you feel most beautiful around? No one. What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could live without any makeup. What’s the most expensive thing you own? My snake, I think. Or my laptop, idr. Are you more of a book person or a TV person? Book. Relationship status? Single. What color are most of your clothes? Black. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No, I was 16. Last song you listened to? "The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot. Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? Yes. What’s your favorite thing about life? That's a big question. I guess seeing acts of mass love and kindness, reminders that we're all in this together through all hardships. Who pays for the first date? Whoever asked the other person out, imo. Who has always been there for you? My mom. Have you ever written on a wall? No, at least not to my memory. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? I think anyone who reads these by now knows, haha. I don't much play anything else. I prefer console games. What would you name a baby boy if you had one? Probably Damien or Victor. What would you name a baby girl if you had one? Alessandra, no questions asked. What lyric means the most to you? I mean there's tons, but the first one that came to mind is "for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from "Get Up" by Mother Mother. Like in the big picture, we humans are so so so minuscule, but with brains that are too complicated for our own good. It's my own head that creates so many obstacles for me. Who is the smartest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. Do you share a bed with anyone? My cat, haha. Does it flatter you when guys open doors for you? It's flattering if anyone does, not just guys. Do you enjoy taking naps? Yeah. That's like part of my daily routine. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Nope. Is there anyone you try to be a good influence for? My nieces and nephew, but I don't feel like I am. I'm a poor example of an adult. Do you own a pair of fishnets? No, but I have a pair of fingerless fishnet gloves. Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, pancakes, waffles, bacon or cereal? All are great, but french toast. Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? I'd actually have one if I didn't have glasses. I think I'd look weird with one as I look now. When I say "The Beatles," what is the first song that comes to mind? "Hey, Jude." In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Extremely hot and humid. You can only listen to one band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? Ozzy Osbourne, of course. Can you snap with both of your hands? Yeah, but it's harder with my left. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? For some people, promises don't mean shit. If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you paint it? Maybe like a light peach. When was the last time you got butterflies? I think not since Sara told me I look really pretty in eyeliner. ;_; <3 When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? There was this one time I was listening to "The Ghost of You" by MCR a while after finding out about Jason's mom's death and I just like... broke. When’s the last time you were in a line? When I was getting my second COVID shot. Do you trust the media? HA! Fuck no. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? At first I was appalled by this question, but like... do wasps serve a purpose? Of all fauna, they annoy me the most. I mean bees are already endangered enough, and they prey on them. They don't pollinate, so like... why are you here. I may be mistaken and they have a valuable role, in which case I take all this back. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I have on idea. Most jobs are underpaid. What’s the last thing you wrote down? I was doing some paperwork at the TMS office on my first day there. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? I don’t know. What are you looking forward to? Now that my tattoo (which looks fucking stunning, by the way) is out of the way, I can focus on other things. I'm particularly looking forward to hopefully seeing the results of TMS manifest (which should take 3-4 weeks). It sounds horrible, but I'm also keenly awaiting this dog we're stuck with to go somewhere... The person who gave her to my sister to give my mom won't take the dog back, and we can't find another option that doesn't risk her being euthanized, which we absolutely do not want. We just don't know what to do, but she's driving Mom and me INSANE. Do you listen to online radio stations? No. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? No. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Multiple things. Have you ever ate so much you puked? Ugh, no. That sounds awful. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Very much, sadly. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? I gotta say brownies. Which YouTuber have you learned the most from? I mean, this depends on the subject. From Mark, I've learned most about life and how (I think) to be a good person, but there's a lot of pet channels I watch that have taught me loads about proper husbandry. This answer just depends on what knowledge you're talkin' about. Who would you want to be the flower girl at your wedding? Probably a niece. Do you want to be married within the next ten years? It'd be nice. Do you feel like your life is too fast-paced, or do you wish it were busier? Ugh, I wish it was busier. My days are a COMPLETE, routine drag. What are some hobbies which you want to pick up? I want to just be more artsy. I wanna draw and write more, and I'd love love love to be in healthy enough shape to handle going on walks with my camera. There are sometimes I miss editing videos, too. I'm unsure about completely new hobbies. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? My family and a few friends. Oh, and definitely my psychiatrist. What group are you most active in on Facebook? None, really. I mostly just observe. Are you ashamed of anything? A number of things. Primarily not having a job at my age or even being in school. What were your favorite Disney rides as a kid? I loved Splash Mountain, I think it was called. What were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? Never been. What are some places you want to visit that you’ve never been? South Africa, Alaska, Canada, Yellowstone National Park, Bahamas, Venice, Rome... What are some places that you’ve been that you’d like to go to again? Disney World, Chicago, and this one super clear lake I swam in once a few hours away that I don't recall the name of. Have you ever owned a succulent? No. While they're pretty, I've never been much of a plant person. Do you support small businesses? I REALLY want to start doing that more when I have the option to buy my own stuff/have my own income. As someone who wants to be a freelance photographer, I get it. Starting an independent business is hard as hell. If a brand were to sponsor you, which brand(s) would you prefer? Uhhh I dunno. Have you read the entire Bible? No. Do you make bucket lists for each season? No. That does sound kinda fun, though. How old were you when you first dyed your hair? I have no idea. Do you dye your hair regularly? No. :/ I desperately want to, though. It's just not something we can afford to spare cash on. What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Pajama pants? haha Do you think you could ever be famous? No. I'm way too boring and don't want to be anyway. What are some jobs you’ve had in the past? Sales associate, cashier, and deli worker. None lasted long whatsoever. What are some jobs you want to or would like to have? List five. FIVE? I don't know. I just know I want to be a photographer. Well, being an artist or poet would be very cool. And a reptile breeder, maybe tarantulas, too, but that makes me kinda nervous with JUST how many babies they have. What are some jobs you have considered? In rough order from youth to now: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, author/poet, artist, music video editor, wildlife biologist, photographer... Maybe there's more that just aren't coming to me. Are you thankful for social media, or do you wish it didn’t exist? Depends on the day for me, but I'm generally thankful for it so I can keep up with the lives of people who are important to me. It's just that it's a breeding ground for self-doubt and rampant comparisons that can easily depress me when I see some people are "further ahead" and more "established" than me. What are some of the best medications you’ve ever had? The combined efforts of Latuda and Lamictal saved my life. What was a video you watched over and over as a kid? There were lots of movies, like The Lion King, a certain Barney one when I was very young, and I watched Finding Nemo like crazy. Do you know a lot of people who were loving, and then turned cold? Jason????????????????? Is that you??????????????????????????????????????????? Do you own anything plaid? Ha, what a coincidence, I'm wearing my red plaid pj pants. Are you good at remembering names? Definitely not. Have the cops ever gotten on to you for anything before? No. What email thingy do you use? (yahoo, gmail, rock) ... Rock? lol anyway my main is Hotmail, but I inevitably have a gmail to have a YouTube account. What game system(s) do you own? PS2, Wii, Nintendo DS Lite, and a GameBoy Advance. Are you any good at Guitar Hero? I used to be; I played most songs on Expert, then some really tough ones on Hard. I was soooooo addicted to those games. I remember when I got the first one for Christmas, I literally played it all day. Have you ever played Call of Duty? Nah, not my jam. What is your favorite/most visited website? YouTube. Is your bed comfortable? Sure. I've definitely had way worse. Do you have a garage? No. Fun fact, I've never lived in a house with one. Should you be doing anything right now? What? There's a number of things I could be doing that are definitely more productive, like finishing decorating my damn room. Do doctors or dentists make you more nervous? Not really. I only ever get nervous to hear my weight at the doctor's. Did you ever think you were about to die before? I don't quite know. When I ODed, it was more like I didn't care if I did. Have you ever really had a near death experience? Was it cool? "Was it cool." Literally fuck off. I guess you could technically consider my OD a "near death experience," especially given how many pills I took, yet I somehow experienced almost no ill symptoms. Maybe because we got to the ER for fluids quickly enough, idk. I'm just glad I didn't die. What is your favorite kind of weather? Snowy! Like a steady snowfall of large flakes with no breeze and total silence. *chef's kiss* Ever tasted beer? Ugh, no. Just the smell makes me sick. It was my dad's drink of choice when he was an alcoholic so I just have a very negative association with it. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Ever poured salt on a slug? As kids, my sisters and I would get our parents to do it because they grossed us out. So, so cruel. I still have this weird but pretty extreme phobia of them, but I wouldn't torture the things like that.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''don't let me get me'' by p!nk

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buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years

Text

A Christmas Gift: Part 1

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 5,050

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What about him?” Steve asked as he and his friends stood outside an empty U-Haul in New Jersey, waiting to find the perfect person for their next YouTube video. Tony shook his head as he scanned the lot full of early Christmas shoppers, locating a woman a few spots down and a row over that was looking between three or four different pieces of paper and a cell phone that had a kids pink unicorn sticker upside down and sideways on the back in a rust covered car.

“Them?” Sam asked as he gestured to a couple coming down the row they were in, but Tony shook his head as he glanced at an older model car seat in the back.

“Her.” He said simply as he gestured to you as you wiped tears off your face and ran your fingers through your hair to hold your slowly shaking head. “I know that look. I know that desperation… She’s the one.”

“I’ll go talk to her.” Bucky said as he put out his cigarette and took one of Tony’s YouTube channel cards from his ‘boss’.

“I’m coming, too.” Tony said as he pushed off the side of the truck and headed over with Bucky, who was usually responsible for the main camera work since he wasn’t a fan of being in front of it. You startled and looked over at the two men when they knocked before cranking down your window with a shake of your head.

“I’m sorry, I’m not leaving yet…”

“No, we’re looking to help you.” Bucky said gently as he leaned on the hood of your car to see you while Tony crouched down beside the window.

“Who you shopping for, sweetheart?” He asked softly.

“My daughter.” You sighed as you shook your head and glanced at her wish list. “Lord, my little girl, and her big hopes and dreams.” You looked back over at him and shook your head as you showed them the list. “She’s trying to bankrupt me asking for a pony, and an iPad, and cell phone, and some fancy expensive doll… And she’s only four, so I’m in for a world of hurt from here.”

“Just her?” Tony clarified, which made you startle the slightest bit.

“Just… her. I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”

“Tony.” He laughed as he took the business card from Bucky and handed it to you. “Tony Stark. I’m a YouTuber. My camera guy, Bucky.”

“OK…”

“We’re shooting a video today, and we want to make someone’s Christmas a little more special, and you are that person.”

“Wait… what?!”

“But here’s the problem. Target never lets us film in their store long without kicking us out, and… well I rented this U Haul and while we could shop in Wal Mart, I don’t think it’s gunna fill that truck, and that’s what I need to do. So I think we’re gunna have to take it into the city.”

“Oh, no.” You said with a shake of your head. “No, I can’t let you do that. I can get a few things…”

“And I feel the need to be Santa Claus today.” He interrupted. “Please? I can’t promise a pony, but I can promise to make this Christmas a special one for your daughter. So, as long as you don’t mind, Bucky’s going to ride with you so your parking in the city, and your gas there and back is paid for, and he can get some back ground information so we know where we’re going once we’re there.”

“And so we know you actually go to the city so we’re not just standing around waiting.” Bucky laughed. You sighed and shook your head as you set the list down on your lap.

“You really don’t have to do this.”

“We know.” You looked between the two of them and over at the U Haul with a shake of your head.

“I’m not gunna end up a statistic on the five o’clock news, right?”

“No, we promise.” Bucky said. “I keep telling him we need to approach these videos a little different, but no one listens to the camera man.” You smiled and nodded your head as you started to clear off your passenger seat.

“OK, fine. But I will put up a fight. And I have to make a stop first if I’m leaving Jersey. I have to pick up a few things for my side job and that store will close before we get back.”

“Alright, we’ll follow you.” Tony said as he stood up and gestured for his friend to get in. “Don’t go kidnapping my camera man, you hear?”

“Pretty sure I should be the one concerned with that.” You laughed as you moved your purse and papers off the seat beside you, and put your seatbelt on. “Just know, I have pepper spray.”

“Oh, I would so prefer if you keep that exactly where it is, and not spray it anywhere near me.“ Bucky requested as he got into your little five speed rust bucket and moved the seat back so his long legs would fit. “I’ve been sprayed with pepper spray by my ex, who is the solid definition of crazy, and it’s not pleasant. Wait for this SUV.” You nodded and slowed down on the other side of the white vehicle, while Bucky pulled an old, bent notebook out of his pocket. “OK first, your name?”

“(Y/N).” He nodded and wrote out your name, repeating it back to you in one long, monotone note that made you smile.

“OK, and baby girl’s name and age.”

“Anna Lee. And she is four going on sixteen.”

“Anna Lee.” He said with a nod and a glance over at you. “I like that. Is it a family name?”

“No, it’s from a song, actually. Ever heard of The Band?”

“Which band?”

“No, the band is called, The Band. Here, listen.” He nodded and look ever at you as you grabbed a mix CD from the visor and put it in the player. You skipped to the track you were looking for as you pulled into the next shopping mall parking lot. “Please don’t steal my car, I’ll be right back.”

“Nope, I wanna see, too.” He said as he unbuckled and glanced over at the SUV that pulled in beside you. “What is this place?”

“It’s a crystal store.” You said as you grabbed your purse and a reusable shopping bag. “I make jewelry when Anna Lee goes to bed. Mala beads, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and earrings. I make candles, too. And usually I sell them here.”

“Namaste!” Your best friend, Wanda called out before glancing over her shoulder to see who it was. “Oooo girl! Who is this… why do you have a camera crew?”

“Wrong place, wrong time, apparently.” You sighed as you kissed Wanda’s cheek. “I’ll explain later. I need two things. One, I need to pick up my stuff, and two, I need you to relieve the baby sitter when you close because I’ll apparently be in the city until God only knows.”

“Wait, what is going on?” She asked as two of Tony’s guys flirted with Natasha, the woman that worked at the register.

“Some YouTube thing.” You said with a swipe of your hand. “Can you pick up Annie?”

“I can pick up Annie.” She said with a nod as she gestured for you to follow her to the back room. “Just don’t be gone all night, galavanting in the city. And you better check in every half hour so I don’t have to obsess over thoughts that you are dead on the side of the road or sold into sex slavery or something.”

“I highly doubt that these guys are going to sell me into sex slavery.” You huffed as you peeked into the large box with your name on it. “Please tell me you found the rhodochrosite beads.”

“Girl, who do you think I am?!” She laughed as she pulled open the top. “The list of holiday requests…”

“Oh, damn it.” You sighed as you glanced at the list of products she had sold in her store that she needed wire wrapped. “I’m never going to sleep again.”

“I’m sorry, hunny. I can still come over and help…”

“No, it’s fine.” You sighed as you put the beads in your hand back in the box and the list on top of it. “I’ll do it. I’ve done it every other year, I’ll do it again this year.”

“That’a girl.” She cheered as you picked up the box with a grunt.

“I’ll see you tonight. Bring the invoice and… fuck it, take her to McDonalds. Just leave the receipt on the table and I’ll pay you tonight, love.” She nodded and agreed as she held open the back door to help you. You said good bye to her and Natasha and smiled at one of Tony’s guys who was holding open the main door for you. Bucky grabbed the trunk for you and took the box from your hands, distracting you from the large bag one of the guys was carrying out of the store. You headed back around to the drivers side with a heavy sigh and sat back in your chair.

“OK, so let’s get back to Anna Lee. Just follow the SUV.” Bucky said as he got back in your car and pulled out his notebook again.

“OK, do you know how much I hate all of this?” You asked as you looked through your papers to pull Annie’s list out of your bank statements.

“OK, I’m guessing this is pony.”

“The first one? Yea, that’s pony.” You laughed as you glanced over at the list. “Then iPad and iPhone are next, then coloring books, and new crayons. Then what’s the next one?”

“Name? Nama? Maybe…”

“Nanea.” You laughed. “She’s the cute, Hawaiian, 1940’s, Junior Citizens Service Corps American Girl doll out of the catalog that my lovely mother signed me up for that I can’t seem to unsubscribe from since Annie has fallin’ in love with these hundred dollar dolls… I was going to try to pass the Target version off but I know that wouldn’t work.”

“So iPad and American girl.” Bucky said as he texted Steve the first two things. “What’s this last thing?”

“A man friend for mommy.” You sighed as you reached out and took the list from him. “Was on the list last year, and it’s what she’s wished for the last two birthdays. My little girl.” You sighed as you looked at the list at a red light. “I don’t deserve her.”

“She sounds like an angel.”

“She is.” You said as you carefully folded the list back up to put in her baby book with the year before’s. “Sweetest, most patient kid ever. She comes to work so I can keep my costs down, and she just sits with her toy of the day or a coloring book on the bus and plays quietly, or sits in the doorway of the room I’m cleaning and watches her show or a movie on my phone, or reads her books. For a four year old, she is an absolute gift from God.”

“What else does she like?”

“She loves to read, and practice her counting, numbers, and letters, and she’s pretty advanced for her age, which is nice. She loves Disney, and her massive collection of stuffed animals. She likes playing with the Legos my mom gave her from when I was a child, which is about as motherly as my mother can be toward her only grandchild because God forbid her daughter have a daughter out of wedlock… Do you smoke?” You looked over at him as he continued to write, but he nodded his head and leaned back to grab his cigarettes.

“Bad habit.” He said as he held out his back to you before you could open the one you secretly kept in your door.

“You’re telling me.” You agreed as you took his lighter from him and lit your cigarette. “I don’t smoke much other than one with my coffee, one after I drop my school bus off in the morning and in the afternoon, and one after I tuck Annie in. And every once in a blue moon when I’m running errands without her, I have one.”

“Yea, I wish I could live off five a day.” Bucky said as you both cranked open your windows a crack. “My friends are all idiots that stress me out and I don’t need that kinda stress in my life. Already got enough. So I smoke.”

“What’s your stress from? Bad girlfriend?”

“No girlfriend, but we’re not here to talk about me, we’re here to talk about you.” You huffed and stuck your tongue out at him. “What else does she like?” You sighed and shrugged.

“She colors a lot. Not a fan of being outside but that’s probably because I live in a bad neighborhood. She plays games on my phone. She likes Mommy’s crystals. I don’t know, she’s just a regular kid.”

“And what about you?” Bucky asked as he pulled out his phone and took pictures of his notes to pass along to Steve.

“What about me?”

“What do you like to do?” You scoffed around your smoke and shook your head at him.

“I lost the ability to do anything for myself when I got pregnant.” You told him with a glance over at him. “Every dime I have goes to that little girl. She gets all the new clothes, all the new toys, all the new games. She wants Frozen shaped Mac’n’Cheese or name brand Gushers, she’s gunna get it, and I’m going to survive with holes in my bra straps another day because they still work to pay for her to have her snack. I work three jobs for her, from way before sun up to way after sun down and live in the smallest apartment known to man kind because the rent was cheap. She is my world.

So my interest right now include mermaids, and fairies, and unicorns. And my days off are spent in a kiddy pool on my pathetic excuse for a patio playing mermaids, or playing tea party and dress up, or watching Doc McStuffins for the hundredth time because Annie wants to be a doctor right now. Either that or a mermaid or a crystal witch hippie like me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because she is my little girl.” Bucky studied the side of your face as you took the last drag of your cigarette and tossed the butt out the window. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“What about her father? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Prison. Found out I was pregnant, and he went into a bank, pretended to rob it, and shot a man that worked there just so he didn’t have to pay child support. Jokes on him.” You said with a smirk as you looked over at him. “He still has to pay in federal lock up. Unless he pulls whatever kind of stunt he’s pulling now so that he’s in solitary and not working to make sure his support doesn’t go through to try and ruin Christmas and her birthday like he has since she was born. Asshole.”

“God, you just have your work cut out for you, don’t you?” You nodded your head and glanced down as your mix CD started over, reminding you about your daughter.

“This is how I came up with Anna Lee.” You said as you found the track again and turned it up so he wouldn’t ask anymore questions about you on the drive. As he listened, Bucky pulled out his phone to text Tony directly to let him know that he had picked the right person for his Christmas video give away. He relayed everything you had told him, picking out even more details about your daughter than you had given originally, and about your lifestyle. Because the video wasn’t just about making Christmas for a kid, it was about making Christmas special for an entire family.

“I’m from Nazareth.” You said at the end of the song as you slowed to pay the toll. You glanced over at him as Bucky handed you a twenty, and continued. “Pennsylvania. My parents still live there. I get my love of 60’s music from my dad. The Band was one of his favorites. I knew when I was a child that if I had a little girl, she’d be named Anna Lee because of that line of someone staying to keep Anna Lee company. Just didn’t know as a kid what that meant, but I still fell in love with the name all the same.”

“It’s a beautiful name.” Bucky said as he took his change back from you. “Not one you hear every day.”

“I like that about it, too.”

“Just stay behind the SUV. You don’t have to wait for the U Haul.” You nodded and changed gears to speed up to keep up with the other driver. Driving through the busy streets always made you a little nervous, and the Christmas crowd made that even worse, but thankfully, you didn’t have far to go before you were parking in an above ground lot behind the SUV and next to an empty double spot the U Haul was able to fit in.

“We’ve had these spots reserved for a week.” Your passenger said to you before you even asked the question. “So, we need you to have Anna Lee’s list in hand.” You nodded your head and pulled out the list that would go in a baby box in your closet for her after today. You got out after him and locked the doors, while the little group collected behind the U Haul to introduce themselves and go over the game plan they had been making.

“So this is how it’s going to play out.” Tony said as he showed you a walking map on his phone with pins in places you were going to go. “We’re going to go in a giant circle. But most of us are not going to come back after each trip. We have fold up carts that we’ll put the bags in, and then Clint, and Bruce will run it all back to the U Haul where Scott will be hanging out, keeping an eye on it, since we’re going to be spending a lot of money and people are extra sticky fingered around the holidays.”

“OK.” You said as you glanced over at Bucky as he held out a mic pack for you.

“Needs to clip to your collar on the inside or on your jacket if you don’t plan on taking it off, line goes under your shirt, and the battery fits in your back pocket or it can clip to the back of your jeans.” You nodded your head and turned around to feed the mic up your shirt to your collar as Tony continued.

“Now, I usually do this ‘anonymously’ by supposedly grabbing people off the street, but I have to have people consent to being filmed on film for legal reasons before I can even begin, and I need them to be mic-ed up for that. Which is what we’re doing here. But once that’s done, what we’re gunna have you do is walk about half way down the block while I do my intro. And Bruce will give you the signal to walk toward me. When you pass me, be looking at Anna Lee’s list, and act startled when I get your attention. I may jump in front of you, I may grab your arm. It kinda just happens. And I apologize in advance. Just please don’t scream. It draws a lot of attention and it doesn’t look good.”

“I won’t scream.” You giggled with a shake of your head as you got Annie’s list out.

“Perfect. Now, I need you to confirm to the camera that you are OK with being on camera, in those words. Not just yes or OK, or sure…”

“I am OK with being filmed for Tony Stark’s YouTube channel and his Christmas video. No matter how much I oppose having money spent on me…”

“OK, that’s not what I wanted.” Tony laughed as Bucky smirked at you behind his camera. “But it will work. Now, one last thing. Some stores have an issue with our bigger camera, but I have Wade, our unofficial, smooth talking, ’legal guy’ that talks to managers. Try to stay close, and keep your back more to walls so that other people are not on camera. And if the big camera gets kicked out, we switch to much more subtle little ones. Just so you know what’s going on. And we’re starting with the American Girl store.”

“We also film everything and do a lot of editing so don’t worry about swearing or having to redo takes.” Bucky said as he leaned the camera away from his face a bit. “And I’ll let you know if there’s audio issues so don’t worry about the microphone and the cord.”

“Alright, we ready?” Steve asked as he clipped his mic pack to his belt. You nodded and took a deep breath as you purposely unwrapped your scarf to keep it away from the mic and followed the group down to the street. With Annie’s list in hand, you did what you were told and walked down the block to wait for the signal. You knew what was coming but your hands still shook.

“Stupid.” You mumbled when Bruce gave you the signal. You took a deep breath and carefully stepped around Bucky where Bruce was pointing so that you were passing by Tony where you needed to be.

“Miss! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Tony said as he gently took your shaking arm and turned you back around so you were facing the camera. “Hi, I have a very important question for you. Who made this Santa list for you today?”

“Oh. My daughter, Anna Lee.”

“Anna Lee. Well my name is Tony Stark. I rented a U Haul truck this year and we’re doing a Christmas video shopping spree for one lucky child this year where we fill the truck with toys for them. And a list written to Santa in glitter crayon on pink paper with stickers to boot, screams special little girl.”

“What?! No, you can’t…”

“Well Santa told me that this was the list I was looking for.” Tony interrupted with a smile, glad you were playing along. “It’s been decided by the spirit of Christmas. So what’s first on the list?” He asked as he looked at the list with you.

“Well Annie really wants an American Girl doll so that’s where I was headed first.”

“Then American Girl it is!” Tony said as he smiled over at you before looking at the camera. “Let’s fill this U Haul for Annie!” Tony stood there long enough to get a thumbs up from Bucky before turning toward you with a smile and handing you back the list. “You did good.”

“Thanks.” You said with a small smile as Bucky came up next to you as Tony looked at his app.

“Just so you know, the microphone picks up your voice even if your not in front of the camera and records it… and I can hear it all in my headset. Which is also very stupid.” Your face flushed red as he held the camera by his side and followed the rest of the group down the street.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“Relax.” He laughed. “We can edit it out in post. No big deal. Just be mindful, OK?” With one more apology, the group turned the corner and grabbed a pair of taxis to head a few blocks uptown to stop number one. You got the quick run down on how you were supposed to enter, but that was it instruction wise. You headed through the door of one of the flagship American Girl Place stores, and couldn’t help but smile that you were standing in a store that you had wanted to see since you were a child and got your own doll.

“So which doll does Annie have her heart set on?” Tony asked as he moved you and himself just enough so that you were out of the way and in front of a wall.

“Oh, that would be Nanea. She’s…”

“First one to find Nanea without disrupting the mom’s gets a thousand dollars.” Tony said with a smirk. His friends took off a brisk walk and you glanced over at Tony. “You’re in on that too.” He said as he gestured to the store.

“Oh boys. If this is how the day is going to go, you’re in for a world of hurt.”

“Follow her.” Tony said as he pushed Bucky in the direction you went. You beelined through the crowd, past Sam and Steve who didn’t realize that Nanea wasn’t a WellieWisher doll and were searching the boxes, Bruce, who was trying to go through boxes in a round about with a bunch of other moms and girls, and Scott, who looked completely lost trying to find some kind of sign to point him in the right direction. Being a mother, and a frequent reader of the magazine, you knew exactly what you were looking for. You headed upstairs, slowed along the side wall in the middle display of all of the dolls that were sold in the historic line, before very gently reaching up to grab a box on the bottom of the third round display in.

“Found it.” You said softly as you smiled at the doll that was going to make your daughter’s whole world. Tears welled in your eyes as Bucky lowered his camera to just watch you for a moment before shooting a text to the group that the doll had been found and where and putting the camera back up on his shoulder.

“She’s a lucky girl.” He said softly, making you look up at him as you hugged the box to your chest.

“I remember opening this box when I was a little girl. It was magical. And now I get to make it magical for her, too.” You looked at him and not the camera and smiled softly. “Thank you for doing this.”

“So who are these other dolls? They all have stories, right?” Steve asked as he looked around at the section you were in.

“They do.” You said as you held the doll to your chest. “I know some of them. Julie is a hippie who stands up for girl’s rights, Melody stands up for the civil rights movement, Nanea survived Pearl Harbor, Kit was Great Depression, Samantha is an orphan, Rebecca is Jewish, Addy escaped slavery, Kaya is a Native American, Josefina lived in 1800’s New Mexico, and Maryellen lives in a time of conformity in the 50’s and she just wants to stand out. Then you have Joss who is deaf in one ear, Blair the chef, decorator, farmer, etcetera, and lastly my personal favorite, Luciana, the aspiring astronaut. Wow, I know all of them.”

“You know a lot about these dolls.” Steve said as Tony stood next to Bucky, just watching.

“I do. I had a doll when I was younger, Molly, World War II. I loved the lessons that these dolls taught, and I love that they are still teaching girls about our history. And they all have clothes and props and stuff to help reinforce those stories. Like I had a little chalk board and work books, and a desk for Molly. It’s really cute.”

“Well then obviously, Annie needs them all.”

“What?!” You snapped as you whipped around to Tony, who was smiling as if he didn’t just drop a bomb.

“One of everything the doll has.” He told his friends, who scattered across the room to grab a doll and all the accessories they had in their section. “Pay attention to the little boxes!”

“No. No, you really don’t have to do that.” You tried as he looked at Nanea’s shelves and grabbed her clothes and accessories packs.

“You agreed to this, sweetheart.” Tony said in a sing song voice as he grabbed a couple shopping bags from a woman and started to fill them. “We’re doing this for Anne…”

“Anna Lee.” You and Bucky corrected at the same time.

“Anna Lee.” Tony repeated as if committing her full name to memory. “Look, they’re historic so she can learn. And besides that, you have to look at it this way. I know we’re not gunna be able to fill a 26 foot U Haul today. I knew that going into it. But thanks to money that I get from my followers, and money that comes from selling sweaters and t-shirts, and shit, I know I have roughly one million dollars to spend on Anna Lee. And in order to get more content to be able to do this for someone else, I need to go all out. And I need you to participate as well.” You nodded your head as his friends started putting their finds in the shopping bags, and Tony gently pushed your shoulder. “Make it fun! Enjoy spoiling your kid. Just pretend you won the lottery and spend my money. Because you kinda did.”

“OK, OK.” You sighed as you took two shopping bags from him with a scowled smile. “Fine. They make furniture, clothes, pets, and accessories, too. And other dolls for younger kids, and ones that you can find to look like your kid…”

“Well then lead the way.” Steve said with a smile as the guys picked up the first round of bags. You looked over at Bucky with a heavy sigh, and he gave you a smile and a small nod.

“You got this.” With a roll of your eyes, you lead the pack of boys around, picking out and assisting them on picking the best pieces the store had.

Part 2

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #A Christmas Gift

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passable-talent · 3 years

Text

About Me

HELLO I AM ROE basic info is as follows: College student, He/Him, Gae

To be a bit more in depth- I’ve never got any time but what time I do have is dedicated to the things I love. I’m a third degree black belt and I teach kids, I tutor, I hike, but mostly I write. Up until now I’ve only really written for myself, knowing (hoping?) my pieces would never see light of day. I want to push myself and go outside my comfort zone.

I’m writing a novel yet untitled that I love- started work on it in March ‘18. But when I work on one project for too long, I get burnt out, so I really need short stories to refresh my creativity and become a break in my schedule. So, please, offer me stories you want to see come alive and I’ll do my best to honor them.

Guidelines

for,,, reasons, you will be tagged in your requests, you will not receive a notification that says ‘passable-talent answered your ask'

i in no way will answer requests sequentially, please don’t expect it from me, it won’t happen, please don’t get your hopes up

I do reserve the right to ignore/delete a request that makes me uncomfortable.

I won’t do anything that mentions bad mental health, depression, self harm, abuse, etc. I don’t need to relive middle school, thx (also reader inserts involving these things tend to glorify it as a way to get attention from a significant other,,, yikes)

Everything I do will be gender non-specific, so that it can be enjoyed by anyone. This means, in no uncertain terms, I will not write female reader. Stop requesting it.

However every request I am given in which gender/sex actually matters I will do only male reader. As someone who’s looked for male inserts extensively- there are far too few, as well as the fact that I’m really uncomfortable with female reader stuff… long story :/

This does apply to trans male, I will absolutely write trans male stuff. request it!

I will do smut- but only if I deem it okay for me. No matter what it’s only what I’m comfortable with. However I am a freak so

If u request smut from an underage character I will be forced to smite ur gall bladder

Fight me

I will do: reader inserts, headcanons, character pairings, song fics. More will be added to this list so feel free to send it in anyway

Make sure that you give me something to work with, but don’t be too specific! I’m a world builder at heart, allow me to have fun and room to add details.

feel free to request a continuation of anything ive done, no matter how old it is! i find these super flattering and fun :)

along with the last point- even when requests are closed, you can still request these extensions!!!

DISCLAIMER. I am in college. And I may get a lot of requests- I hope. So please, know that I probably am not ignoring you, I probably did get your request, I just may take a while to get there.

(EDIT 7/12/2021- as you may have noticed. i don’t write very often anymore. when i do, it’s rarely requests. feel free to try anyway, but damn. i don’t be doing this anymore)

Fandoms More will be introduced as I remember/discover them

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Star Vs. the Forces of Evil

Syfy’s The Magicians

ABC’s Once Upon a Time

Cobra Kai

The Maze Runner

Markiplier Egos

Teen Wolf

Z-Nation

Disney’s Descendants

Disney Movies (Frozen, Treasure Planet, etc)

Dreamworks Movies (Rise of the Guardians, How to Train Your Dragon, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, The Road to El Dorado, etc)

Unwind Series (All 5)

Avatar the Last Airbender

Gravity Falls

Disney Channel’s ZOMBIES (+2)

Hunger Games

Star Wars (Prequel, Original, Sequel trilogies)

Umbrella Academy

Random Hayden Christainsen movies (Outcast, Shattered Glass, Takers, Life as a House)

- 🦌 Roe

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thorne93 · 4 years

Text

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 35)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count: 2630

Warnings: angst, fluff,serious Tony Stark, happy moment for the reader!!!, emotional Loki Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things had gone back to normal, or as normal as it could get for The Avengers, everyone was back to doing their own thing and always getting together for dinner as much as possible. Planning had gone underway for the wedding. Both had agreed they wanted something simple and quiet they didn’t want the public to ruin their happy day.

True to her word, Shannon had brought down things to ask you for an opinion from flowers, to cloth colors, to dress designs. Everyone was basking in the happiness that the soon to be husband and wife were in. That was until word got out to the press that the billionaire playboy genius was finally settling down with the one woman they have seen on his arm for the past two years.

The morning the team saw the news they tried to hide it from Tony and Shannon but had failed when they saw he was reading the news on his holographic tablet.

“Morning everyone!” Tony said sounding cheery as he had been lately. “There still some coffee left?” came from him without looking up from the tablet he had in his hand, going over some paperwork.

“Morning, Tony. What’re the plans for today?” Steve asked trying to keep Tony busy. “Shannon have anything she wants you to do or get for the wedding?”

“Not yet. We’re still looking at some possible ideas.”

He took a sip from his mug. “Although I did hear something about going to some chocolate tasting, I might not like it but I’m sure she’d appreciate you or Clint going with her to see which would be best.” He looked up at the tall blonde.

“Sure thing, I’ll ask her when she’s doing that.”

“Everything alright, Cap? You seem a little tense.” Tony could see the way Steve was holding himself like as if something was wrong.

“Oh it’s nothing,” he said nonchalantly. “Just a bit sore from my last training session.”

Just then Shannon had walked in wearing an oversized hoodie and her hair pulled up. “Good morning, everyone.” She gave everyone a kiss on the cheek. “Mm something smells good in here. You cooking again, Steve?”

“Morning, doll, just trying out some old recipes.” He smiled at her. “Tony, says you want to go chocolate tasting?”

She hummed while eating the food. “Yeah I was hoping you’d come with? Seeing as Tony doesn't like chocolate that much.” She looked up at the super soldier.

“I’d love to, doll, just as long as we keep Clint away from eating too much,” he joked. He hadn't noticed that Tony was reading the news.

The coffee mug slipped from Tony’s fingers and landed with a thud on the table thankfully it was a metal mug and not a ceramic one. “Umm… Babe, you wanna come take a look at this?” He sounded weird.

“Sure thing, Tony.” Confused as to what it might be she walked quickly to his side. She was speechless when the cover story was of them two and how they’re getting married. “How did they find out?” She was confused as to how someone could have found out only those closest knew.

“I have no clue… Could one of the workers here have said something?” Hoping that was the case. “Oh crap, your parents are going to find out and it’ll ruin the surprise,” he realized.

“Tony?! We need to get this off the news now before it’s too late! I already have everything set to tell them tomorrow evening,” she groaned knowing it might be too late already. She covered her head with the hood and leaned her head on the countertop.

“Don’t say that, doll, they probably haven’t seen the news yet. I bet Tony could get it removed in less than 3 hours.” He walked to her and was patting her back.

“Sir, you have an incoming call from multiple magazine companies wanting a scoop for their issue.”

Hearing that he groaned and saw Shannon shrink herself some more.

“Send all the calls to the conference room. I’ll pick up all of them at once.” He cleaned up his mess and was heading out. “Don't worry, babe, I got this. Jarvis, contact the company who got the word about the engagement. I need to speak with them,” he said is a tone he only uses when he means business.

Clint silently suggested he and Steve get Shannon back to her room and contact the chocolate place to have then send their samples to the tower so they could try the samples in peace and away from the public eye. They all knew it's the last thing she would want.

“Come on, Shannon, let’s go back to your room and set up a movie or something.” Clint stood at her other side. “Let’s get your mind off this stuff.”

“I’ll make a quick call and meet you guys there,” Steve said after getting Shannon onto Clint’s back so he could carry her. “You guys pick the movie, I’ll get the snacks.”

She nodded her head and turned to look at Steve make a call while she was taken to her room.

“Hello this is Steve Rogers calling on behalf of Shannon. We ran into a bit of a situation and wondered if the samples of your chocolates could be sent to us? If not I’d be happy to go pick them up myself,” he asked the lady who picked up his call. It killed him to see his best friend feel like things are going wrong when they shouldn’t be.

On the other side of the line he was told that it would be no problem at all getting the chocolate packaged and sent to the tower in half an hour. Steve thanking the woman who was kind to have that happen and walked to Shannon’s room to see if everything was ready for them to make her feel better.

“Alright the chocolate samples should be here in half an hour” seeing that Clint was laying at the edge of the bed he moved to sit next to Shannon. “What movie we watching?” he ask hoping that watching some movies will help.

“Well we were thinking of starting off with something Disney so I found Trolls seems like it could be a silly movie” Clint said while about to start the movie. “How much chocolate are they sending?”

“Your not going to get to eat much of it” Steve warned him “You and chocolate is not a good mix we don’t need to go off chasing you around form you being hyper.

“Oh come on Steve don’t be a party pooper.” He stuck his tongue out at the blonde

Meanwhile on a different floor of the tower Tony was in one of the many conference rooms addressing the matter at hand with all the news channels. He wanted this to be over as quick as possible and make sure that the news doesn’t get to Shannon’s parents at whatever cost it takes he know how excited she was to tell them but seeing her the way she was when she heard that it was out in the public.

“Alright thank you for waiting for me as it would seem someone has given you personal information of my life and foremost would like to know who exactly it was that told you so that they can face the consequences appropriately” he said.

“We were told by an anonymous figure,” came the response from a few of the channels. “We were told of this news from one of the towers workers,” said channel 12 who had kept quiet until now.

“And does said worker have a name?” he wanted to know now. “Now as for the reason for calling you all, I need you to get rid of that footage ASAP. My fiance is currently worried that her parents will find out from your channels rather than what she has planned for them. Yes we are getting married but that is all you will get from me so please don’t bother trying to get anymore information because you wont get any.” They all saw how serious he was about getting the footage removed. “This is the biggest news we’ve had in a few years, Mr. Stark. You can’t just expect us to drop the story just like that,” one channel said.

“You do realize who you’re talking to right?” he challenged who had spoken. “I could easily make few calls and make sure you don’t have a job for tonight’s viewing. Now I’m not saying I will I’m just saying I could.” He smirked seeing the person pale. “The same will go for all the channels any sponsor you might have I have connections with so if you don’t remove the footage of announcement of my wedding there will be trouble.”

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” a few of the channels said seeing a bit of fear for their current jobs. “We’ll have that footage removed and deleted.”

“Thank you now if you excuse me I have a fiance to go make sure is okay, have a good rest of your day and I will be looking into if it’s been deleted or not.” With that he ended the video call with all the channels.

Walking out of the conference room Tony felt a whole lot better knowing that they would definitely be getting rid of the footage of the story that had be created and had high hopes that it would be gone before Shannon’s parents had a chance to even look at the news. Knowing her parents the would probably wait to be in bed to watch the news at night which gives the new channels a good time slot to do as he had ordered.

He headed up to the lab wanting to give her some time with her friends and later on tell her about it’s all taken care of and that she can go on planning the surprise reveal. He hoped that with her being distracted by her friends she will feel a lot less stressed out.

>> Rogers let Shannon know I’ll be in the lab for a bit there’s something I need to finish then I’ll head down to where you three are.

<< you got it, Tony. Is the issue fixed?

>> yes, it took a bit of threatening but yes

<<good it’ll help make things better for Shannon

Tony had finished off what he had been working on early and headed where Shannon and the guys were watching movies and laughed when he saw Clint lying on the floor covered in chocolate wrappers and Steve looked annoyed. Overall things had gone well the chocolate had been picked thanks to the guys and Tony could tell that Shannon was in a better mood

“Hey, babe, so I just got everything fixed you can go back to planning how you wanted to tell your parents the news” he went to sit next to her seeing her light up made him happy knowing he’s the one that made her feel like that.

“You mean it?”

“The news won’t be showing that story ever again.”

“What a relief I didn’t want my parents finding out like that especially with what I had in mind”

“I know how much telling your parents means to you so of course I would do everything to make sure you could”

Three days later both had gotten invited to have dinner with her parents at their house. Which helped because they wanted to announce the news somewhere private. Once they understood what they had been given with the sweaters they were excited for the happy couple and could not wait to see how the planning was going for the wedding and who would be going and when the wedding would happen and where too.

_____________________

“Are you sure? Like… is this okay?” you asked as you stood in your cell, wringing your hands.

“Yeah, absolutely!” Shannon said with a wide, bright smile.

“So Tony, Fury, they all know about this?”

Shannon laughed at your fears. “Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of everything. SHIELD and the Avengers have all signed off on your parole.”

“Parole… Wow. Never thought that word would be assigned to me.”

Shannon shot you a sympathetic look. “It’s just for you though, right now. Loki’s will come shortly.”

You nodded. “That’s fine.”

“And that’s only because you’re getting out early to help me with the wedding.”

“I know. This is amazing. I told you everything would work out.”

She smiled at you. “Well tell your boyfriend you’ll be back.” She gestured to Loki who sat on the leather couch, pretending as if he wasn’t listening to the conversation.

You walked over, feeling guilty. You were gaining freedom before him, and it didn’t feel right. Part of you felt amazing to get to go out and do everything you wanted to with Shannon, but the other part of you felt enormously guilty for leaving him here.

“Well… I’m gonna go. Dress shopping with Shannon,” you stated, laughing a bit uneasily as you sat beside him. He continued to flip through his book, not meeting your eyes.

“That sounds wonderful,” he evenly said.

“Yeah. It is. I’m pretty excited.”

Loki sighed, closing his book and looked at you, his gaze softening. He put the back of his hand on your cheek. “You should be. You deserve this. Have a good day.”

Truth be told, he was slightly terrified that you would never return. That once you left through those glass doors, you wouldn’t come back. Shannon wouldn’t come back, you wouldn’t come back, Tony wouldn’t check in. A random orderly would come down once a week to bring food and a change of clothing, and that would be the rest of his life.

Maybe you would convince everyone that Loki needed to stay down there and rot. Maybe you would say it was all his fault and he deserved to never leave.

Yes, you stayed by his side while you were on Sanctuary, but was that only because you had no way of escaping? Did you only find safety with him because he was a friendly face? When you came back to Earth, did you not flee due to fear of Thanos? So far, he had no real proof you would ever return to him. Every time you were near him, it was in a situation you couldn’t control.

Maybe now you saw him for what he really was, and would leave and never look back. These were the fears that danced through his mind and heart as he looked at you.

“I will be back…” you suddenly promised, concern coloring your features. “I promise.”

Loki temporarily wondered if you could read minds. He smiled at you, and you knew that was his stage smile. You knew there wasn’t sincerity in it when he said, “I know.” He leaned forward, cupped the base of your head in his slender fingers and gave you an earnest kiss.

With that, you stood. You knew words would never help Loki. You could only prove your loyalty by returning back to him tonight. Returning back to the cell that kept you prisoner for over two years… To walk into a place that you loathed, that you never wanted to see again, just to demonstrate how much, how impossibly much you loved this man.

“Ready to go?” Shannon asked from behind you.

You turned to her and said, “Yeah.” One final glance behind you where Loki nodded and smiled at you, this time it was a little warmer. You gave him a small wave, and you left that cell, a free woman for the first time in over three years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#unforeseen chasm #loki x reader #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark #tony stark x ofc #tony stark fic #JARVIS #mentions of fury #mentions of thanos #clint barton #steve rogers

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regular-nessian-trash · 4 years

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It’s Vegas, Baby - Chapter II

Summary: Nesta goes out to the store and so does Cassian. Classic Nesta, she thinks he’s stalking her. Trust me it’s more interesting than it sounds lol(I hope)

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I'm back on my grind yall *sunglasses emoji*

Nicknames:

Feyby- Feyre(its supposed to be like feyre and baby put together cause shes the baby of the family)

Nestella- Nesta(its supposed to be nesta and nutella. u will learn more later;)

Tiny Ancient One- Amren(kinda self explanatory)

Mor Boobiez Plz- Mor(idk i just thought it was funny lol)

"I'm home!" Nesta calls out to Feyre. She can smell pizza and instantly strides towards the kitchen, where she finds Feyre with a large cheese pizza still in the box, half-eaten.

"Finally! I was beginning to wonder if you and Cassian finally acknowledged the sexual tension between yourselves and fucked."

"Feyre! That is not appropriate to say at all! Cassian and I are barely colleagues, we will never be anything so stop with your meddling!" Nesta replied, trying to will down a bright red blush. Feyre and her boyfriend, Rhys, had this insane idea that she and Cassian were made for each other, it didn't help that Cassian was constantly flirting with her either.

"We're back!" Mor and Amren had just gotten home from some party, with Mor holding Duchess, their shared Chinese Crested Dog. When the four of them bought a penthouse together Feyre and Mor wanted a dog, and Nesta and Amren didn't. After begging and pleading with her sister and friend to please give him away after they adopted him they finally decided to just lock her, Amren, and Duchess in a room together. They all became friends, and they found out that Duchess was, in fact, a boy. They had been calling him Duchess for too long, though, so when they called him Duke he wouldn't reply so the name just stuck. When the rest of their inner circle found out-"the rest" being Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys- they didn't stop teasing them for days. In their defense, he had a very small you-know-what and he was a very ladylike boy.

"Bring my baby boy to me! Oh I wove you so much you wittle cutie pie!" Feyre was letting Duchess lick her face, making Nesta gag. Sure she loved the dog, but seriously, he licks his butt.

"Ugh, Mor, your cousin is working me to the bone! And he won't stop trying to push me and Cassian together! He thinks he can push us together just cause we “have hella sexual tension”! Also, I was thinking about this last night, Rhys is dating Feyre and if I'm Feyres sister and he's Cassians brother, that's literally incest!"

"You know they aren't actually brothers, right? They're just best friends." Mor replied, trying not to laugh at Nesta's flustered expression. She put down Duchess and reached for a slice of pizza. Everyone knew that it was just a matter of time before Nesta and Cassian got together. Nesta and Mor were the only single people in the house, not including Duchess. And Mor was just recently dumped so she was in a big love life meddling mood. Amren was dating some guy named Varian, and Feyre... Well, let's just say that it's a miracle that she's here right now and not out getting nailed by Rhys.

"I know that, but still. They refer to themselves as brothers."

"So you're saying that if they didn't call themselves brothers you would have sex with Cassian! I knew it!"

"No, Feyre, I am not saying that! Besides, he flirts with everyone so even if I was into him- which I am not - we probably wouldn't become a thing."

"Keyword being probably." Mor says with a smirk.

"Enough of all this bickering, I'm hungry and bored so someone turn on the T.V. while I make some popcorn." Amren quickly breaks them up before Nesta tears off someone's head.

~~~~~

Cassian pulled up at the townhouse he shared with his brothers. All the lights were turned off which meant that Az was sleeping, or not home. The former was more likely because Az usually got pizza on his rest nights and there were three cold slices of meat lovers pizza left. Cassian was so hungry, he ended up eating them cold. He fought back a moan at how delicious the pizza was. He would never understand how Nesta was able to be a vegetarian. Shit. He had been such a dick to Nesta earlier. She was genuinely concerned about him and he had just pushed her away.

Cassian pulled out his phone and checked instagram. Mor had posted a photo of her and Amren with their dog, Duchess, at a party. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry at the fact that a misgendered dog had a better social life than he did.

~~~~~

“Ugh, Feyre, Tomas and his little gang showed up at work last night.” Nesta and Feyre were chilling in the kitchen, the latter making a breakfast spread that would put Disney Channel moms to shame. Amren and Mor were nursing killer hangovers, so Feyre made sure to bang around a ton in the kitchen.

“Again? A-fucking-gain? Nuthin new, nuthin changed? Same old shit. Same old fuckin shit.” Feyre replied, forgetting that Nesta had no idea what that reference meant.

“I told them to leave and that I almost had the money to pay them back, but Tomas just slapped my ass and said ‘sEe YoU oN yOuR nExT sHiFt’ then he got up and left.”

“You do realize that we could end all of this by just telling Rhys? I know you have this whole thing about your pride and shit, but we could tell Rhys and he could pay off all your debts to him.”

“Feyre, I appreciate it, but I need to fight my own battles. I got myself into this mess, so I sure as hell can get myself out of it. Plus, I don’t like the idea of feeling like I owe my current employer money.”

“Nesta, sweetie, I love you… BUT YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR DAMN PRIDE TO THE SIDE FOR LIKE, TWO SECONDS AND ACCEPT HELP!”

“FEYRE-”

“Okay, can we yell about Nesta's issues at some time other than 6am? Also, is that bacon I smell?” Mor walked in holding her head and wearing one of Nesta's sweatshirts with some leggings.

“Yes, fattie. And it’s like, 10:30.” Feyre slapped Mor's hand away from a stack of pancakes cooling on the countertop.

“And I do not have any issues, Mor. I’m not the one that went partying with a dog last night.”

“Nesta, that is exactly the reason why you have issues. If you went partying with Duchess, maybe you would loosen up a bit. God knows you need it.”

“Brat.” Nesta threw a piece of toast at Mor's head.

“Thanks! Hey, Feyre, pass the butter.” Feyre slid the butter across the counter and cursed loudly when it just slid on the floor at Mor's feet. Facedown.

“Really, Feyre?” Nesta said in an exasperated tone.

“I’m sorry! I thought she would catch it!”

“That was our last stick of butter, you absolute dingbat!” Nesta sighed and picked up the keys to her car.

“Where are you going?” Mor asked, ever the worried friend thinking she had caused a family feud.

“To the store. We need more milk and eggs anyways. Tell me if you guys are gonna go out while I’m gone.” Nesta walked out the door of their spacious apartment and made her way over to the elevator, pressing the ground level button. She stormed over to her car, got in, and slammed the door shut. On her way to the store, she noticed that one of the local book stores was having a sale. She tried to ignore the voice in her head telling her that she had piles of unread books in her room, and all over the other communal areas of the apartment. She would just pop in after picking up the groceries. No big deal. She could restrain herself. Maybe.

~~~~

Cassian woke up and made his way down the stairs towards the kitchen at 10am.

Hey sorry don’t be mad but here’s the shopping list. I had to go out.

~Azriel

“Unbelievable.” Cassian sighed and picked up the piece of paper attached to Azriel's little note and crumpled it up. Then he uncrumpled it because he remembered he needed to see what it said. Cassian walked up to his room and threw on a sweatshirt, some slip-on vans, and grabbed his keys. He couldn’t remember why they decided to share groceries. He wanted to in the beginning, but now that he woke up without any food in the house because his brothers had eaten all of it he was thinking or re-evaluating that decision. Cassian slid into his car and made his way to the store.

~~~~

When Nesta pulled up at the store she checked her phone and saw that Feyre had sent her a text while she was driving.

Feyby*: heyyyyyyyyy nes can you pleeeeeeeeeease get me some chocolate while you’re out :)?

Nestella*: k. anything else? im walking in now by the way

Feyby: nope! thank you love you! :)

Nestella: love you too

Nesta made her way towards the dairy aisle and picked up some 2% milk, a pack of four sticks of butter, and eggs. She quickly walked over to the candy aisle and began studying all her options, she took candy selecting very seriously.

“Nes?”

~~~~

Cassian walked into the store and quickly picked up all the stuff on the list. Once he got to the last few items written he realized he wanted ice-cream for a movie night with the boys. He walked over to the dairy aisle and picked up a tub of cookies n’ cream right when Nesta Archeron stormed past him towards the candy aisle. He followed her because, well, he wanted to talk to her. But he needed to act like he wasn't stalking her cause she might yell at him.

“Nes?”

“Mother Above, Cassian! You scared the shit out of me don’t you dare do that ever again!”

Oh well.

“How did you not hear me coming? Are you really that focused on chocolate?”

“I’m selecting some chocolate for Feyre, and she is very picky so I was focused on reading what the ingredients were in each bar.” She seemed to have recovered from the scare because she just grabbed a random chocolate bar and stormed past him.

“Obviously you don’t care that much if you’re willing to just grab a random bar and walk away!” Cassian yelled at Nesta. Some other shoppers began to stare at him so he quickly said “Don’t worry, we work together. I know her, I’m not some random creep haha.” That just got him more strange looks though so he just made his way towards self-checkout and paid for the items and skirted outta there.

~~~~

Nesta was so embarrassed while walking away from Cassian. People were staring at her! Ugh, Cassian needs to learn to not yell in public places. She walked over to her car after checking out and loaded her groceries into the boot. She needed a black iced coffee stat. Nesta began the quick drive to one of the local coffee shops and once she arrived she quickly sent the girls a text letting them know where she was.

Nestella: hey bitches im getting coffee you hoes want anything

Feyby: i want a mocha frappe pleeease

Tiny Ancient One*: just get me a black americano girl

Mor Boobiez Plz*: i wanna iced coffee with whipped cream and caramel

Nestella: okay for everyone except Mor cause wtf that's not even an item on the menu

Mor Boobiez Plz: it is i swear! just ask them for it they did it when i asked!

Nestella: fine

“What can I get for you?” The guy working the register asked in a very monotone voice.

“One black iced coffee, one black americano, one mocha frappe, and one iced coffee with whipped cream and caramel sauce.”

“We don’t do that last one-” Nesta gave him a withering glare and he immediately changed his mind on what he was about to say.

“Those will be ready soon ma’am. Can I get a name for the order?”

“Nesta. Thank you.” Nesta walked over to the opposite side of the counter to wait while their coffee was being prepared.

“That was quite impressive the way you scared him into doing what you wanted him to, Sweetheart.”

“Cassian! Are you stalking me? Go away.”

“I’m not stalking you, I’m just here to get some coffee.” He smirked at her and picked up a latte that was set down beside him. He took a sip and looked Nesta up and down before smirking and saying “Hot.” he winked at her and left before she could yell at him. If he was being honest the coffee was actually the perfect temperature, but he just loved getting under Nesta Archerons skin.

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mrs-dragneel-stark-solo · 4 years

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Unforseen Chasm (part 35)

Part 35 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 2630 Warnings: angst, fluff,serious Tony Stark, happy moment for the reader!!!, emotional Loki Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.